#TRIGGER WARNING : ADDICTION

[rosemarydisaster]

Thinking about writing something about RoyJay. I just love the idea of those two accidentally fumbling their way into having one of the healthiest dynamics in DC.

Like, they're both considered such fuck UPS by the cape community at large post drugs/pit madness. I just think they're both such no-bullshit people they would be actually really effective at cutting each other's self destructive/self isolating behavior. And at first they would fight it because "fuck you and your holier than thou shit", but they would eventually realize neither of them is judging the other. That they both come from a place of caring and empathy even if they can't always express it.

Like Roy has a lot of background on the Batfam dynamics from being friends with both Dick and Jason. He understands how it feels to not meet your mentors expectations and to be let down by them in your time of need. He's also a father that has lost his daughter and I think that he can both validate Jason's need for vengeance while also offering some perspective on Batman's self destructive behavior after Jason's death. I think that whole angle is so interesting to explore (even in a Bad Batdad or trying his best but it's not enough Batdad situation). Roy also would let Jason vent about his siblings sure, but once he calms down he'd force Jason to reckon with the fact that these are kids. Dick, Cass and Tim aren't at fault for other people comparing them to Jason, and unfair comparisons go both ways.

On the other hand I think that Jason is probably one of the better equipped people to help Roy through his addiction. Jason has never blamed Catherine for her struggles and understands that if she never managed to get clean it wasn't for a lack of love for him. He would be the most empathetic in that situation, understanding how fucking hard it is to stay clean, but at the same time he would never go easy on Roy because he knows that sometimes you need someone to hold you accountable until you can do it yourself again. Roy would really appreciate having someone that has his daughter's best interest at heart but doesn't judge him as a horrible father for struggling. It can be so hard when everyone else just assumes that you should be able to magically cure something that's affecting your brain chemistry because it's what "good parents should do". I also think Jason would point out the hypocrisy of Roy calling Dick a Martyr while pulling the same shit. Maybe Roy doesn't do it out of guilt and a savior complex but the end results are the same.

Like, I don't ship them just because they're two men standing next to each other being friends. I think that even from a completely platonic standpoint their dynamic must be so interesting because of all of the above. Canon doesn't do enough with all of those tasty parallels because they're cowards. They're in the perfect place to help each other and they have the no-nonsense attitude to keep each other in check. They wouldn't judge each other but neither would they try to fix each other. They'd help each other fix themselves. I'm chewing my arm off.

[permettez-moi]

I think Halt was addicted to some sort of drug at a point in his life

Either while he was at dun kilty, or right after

Idk why my sleepy brain just made that up and the puzzle clicked for some reason.

His worn out look, how he is described as quite old looking, but also, he went through a shit ton of trauma and horrible stuff, and going with the autistic! Halt idea, that would make him more likely(? - not sure if that's the right wording?) To have stuff like depression and burn out, which goes hand in hand with addiction

Anyways

Sleep nice and for more than 6 hours beloveds

[gopissbepis]

sniffed £50 worth of 🐴 over the weekend after promising myself "it was just a birthday treat😜" last weekend. Bitch it's NEVER just a treat you are an ADDICT cmon we've been here before I thought I'd learned😩 unfortunately not tho ig bcos I've gotta actually go back to MBAR and do the meetings now, weeds one thing but ket is not the route I wanna go back down again. I don't even like myself on it, I'm barely functional cos I'm thinking in pictures and nothing makes any sense 😆 but it's so so moreish and I love it too much. It's time to really let it go again otherwise it's gonna keep holding me back from the life that I'm trying to create for us.

[emotionaleating]

[lapauradelbui0]

mfs:"i want an ed sooo bad cuz i'll become skinny!!"

same mfs when they binging 2k+ cals in one sitting after not eating for 3 days, they can pull a handfull of hair out of their heads while brushing, have chills, their nails are breaking, they don't wear the clothes they want, they don't loose, they reach for sëlf h@rm, the only feelings they have are hunger and emptiness:

[arradraws]

🫶

[iluvmylittleponysblog]

thinspo <33

[retrotrait]

He needs a hug

[skinincuts]

I wish I was as skinny as everyone else. I hate my weight. I might just starve until I look skinny. Hospitalize me. Im still not quitting.

I got to deep styro! Scars are gonna look so pretty. :3

[thatadhdfeel]

wishing safety to all. ❤️

(sorry if there’s any other options i didn’t think of! it’s early for me fhdjjsjfjf)

[dietmineralwater]

Does anyone else on here have bul1m1a non p-urging subtype?

if u do comment or reblog and we can be moots

[reedingisfundamental]

underconsumption this overconsumption that. i got an eating disorder and an online shopping problem. tight line i walk

[green--tea-owo]

me on my way to choose one of my coping mechanisms after the slightest inconvenience:

[emotionaleating]

pls don’t flirt with me i want to be nonchalant so bad but i unfortunately crave connection so intensely that i will give you my entire soul and forgive you over and over until i’ve lost myself completely and feel like i’m drowning

[bloodywickedlips]

Conquer all

Summary: You are new to the team and notice something is going on with Spencer Reid, all the signs are there and you want to help him.

The elevator door opened and you stepped out looking at every one doing their own business.

You were lost and had no idea where to go. Seeing someone walk past you cleared your throat and stuck your hand out.

“Hi, sorry I'm miss Y/L/N, I’m looking for SSA Hotchner” you said with a smile and the woman in front of you looked around not sure what to do and smiled back at you.

“Do you have an appointment?” she asked you and you shook your head and pulled you badge out.

“no, I’m supposed to start with his team today, new member and all” I said and blushed as she stared at me with wonderment.

“oh you are the new recruit, okay, yes his office is right through there, up the stairs” she said pointing with her very out there painted nails. You smiled and went to thank her but she scurried off before you could say anything.

“weird…” you said to yourself and walked through the glass doors and to the stairs. You were aware of the eyes following you but kept your head held high and knocked on Hotchner’s door and stepped inside with the ‘come in’ you heard.

You closed the door behind you and looked at the man in front of you.

Suit and tie with piles of paper work in front of him.

“Good morning sir, I was told to see you first thing today” you said to him and watched as he stood up and walked around the table. You smiled as he stepped forward and pulled you in for a hug.

“I was told you would be joining us” he said and looked you over. “So you got the heads up to babysit your niece then?” you grumbled and he laughed. He didn’t smile often or even laugh and it was nice to see him do it.

“No I know of no such thing” he said and you rolled your eyes knowing your father for being over protective.

“Your desk is right across Reid’s , and I’ll introduce you soon” he said and motioned for you to sit down.

“I would prefer if the team didn’t know we are related” you said and he frowned at you silently questioning why.

“Back home everyone knew my dad and assumed I got in because of him, I don’t want the same happening here” you clarified for him hoping he would understand.

“I see, well the whole team is profilers so I will keep it quiet but they catch onto things quickly” Hotch said and you smiled.

“Uncle Hotch I was top of my class, and I’m very good at lying. I’m sure ill be fine” you said and stood up to set up your desk.

“then no more uncle, is Hotch only” he said and you nodded appreciatively and walked out shutting the door once again.

You looked over the desks and saw only one empty one. You sat your bag down and looked at the guy sitting by his desk across from you, he was something else, he looked like someone that just stepped off of a magazine cover. Reid you recalled your uncle saying.

“you must be Reid, I'm Y/L/N “ you said sticking your hand out. “Well hello…how can I help you?” he said obviously trying to flirt. “Morgan why are you in my chair?” a voice said to your left and as you turned to look you saw a tall guy in a sweater with beautiful brown hair. What is it with this place? Did they only hire model approved agents?

“Sorry pretty boy, I was looking for something” the guy said and it fit. Pretty boy.

“Who are you?” pretty boy asked and you couldn’t stop the blush from creeping up your neck.

“Y/N Y/L/N…I'm new to the team. And I'm guessing you are Reid and you are Morgan?” you asked and looked at spencer checking you from head to toe. It didn’t make your blushing any better.

“yeah, uh Spencer, Spencer Reid” he said and you noticed he didn’t try to shake hands with you instead he was scratching at his neck, which you could tell was already irritated from his scratching.

“and I’m Derek Morgan sweetness” the other man said and stuck his hand  out for you to shake.

You gripped his hand tightly and he turned it over “Nice ink” he said and you nodded as you looked down to your tattoo on your wrist.

It was something special to you that you had gotten a few months back, it was a stack of books with a small word saying conquer all.

Morgan let go and retreated to his own desk and you were left to set up your own. A few minutes later you were called to the meeting room and met the rest of the team before being prepped for a new case.

As you were listening to JJ explain what was happening you couldn’t help but steal glances at spencer. His leg was bouncing non stop and his eyes were never settled for long, and scratching. His neck and then elbow and then neck again. Never stopping.

After the briefing you grabbed your go bag and went over the files on the jet. You always sat on your own when working as then your mind was fully focused.

The case took four days in which you grew closer to the team and kept an eye on spencer’s antics. They never stopped.

Arriving back at the office you all had to fill in your own reports and you got a congratulations from the team on putting the profile together so quickly.

You just finished your report when you saw Spencer walk to the rest room and looked around first to see no one watching and walked after him.

You shut the men’s bathroom door and locked it behind you. There was only one cubicle door closed and you sighed, you hoped that you were wrong but all the signs were there.

“How long?” you asked out loud and heard spencer gasp “Shit..” before something dropped and it managed to roll right under the door and stop in front of your shoes. You bent down and picked it up.

Dilaudid, a narcotic painkiller.

The door flung open and spencer snatched it out of your hand.

“It’s not what you think” he said and walked to the sink to wash his hands. “Spencer talk to me” you said and frowned at him trying to help.

“Don’t call me that, it’s Doctor Reid” he snapped at you and you understood he wasn’t angry he was embarrassed.

“Reid, if you need help….” You started to say but he spun around and glared at you “I don’t know what you are talking about” he hissed and you shook your head.

“None of them know?” you asked surprised that no one has picked it up.

“Shut up, you know nothing” Spencer hissed at you and he stormed out of the bathroom and you followed after him, going to your own desk.

Spencer avoided you and you couldn’t blame him. He was angry and embarrassed, but you knew he was angry that you had picked it up and none of his team mates/ family picked it up.

“Don’t stay too late guys” Hotch said to both you and spencer and an idea struck you.

“No we are actually just leaving. Spencer and I am going to grab a coffee and a few books to read” you said smiling at your uncle.

“oh Reid can I ask you to pick up a book for Jack to read. We’ve finished the last book you gave us” Hotch said and you could see spencer wanted to decline but you mentioning going to a bookstore had him stuck.

“Sure Hotch” Spencer said and you smiled and grabbed your bag. Spencer stood up as well and pushed his chair back in a little bit too hard but Hotch didn’t seem to notice.

You walked with spencer and hotch to the elevator and waited till the doors opened to the basement where all the cars were parked.

“Come on Reid, my car is this way” you said and bid Hotch a goodnight and spencer had no choice but to follow you.

You got into the car and waited for spencer to get in, slamming your door resulting in you rolling your eyes.

You drove through the city until you got to the bookstore and looked at spencer but he was avoiding your gaze.

“Come on” you said and got out of the car and walked to the bookstore. You walked to the door and spencer huffed as he saw the closed sign on it.

“It’s closed, nice thinking” he remarked and you rolled your eyes again as you pushed the door open and stepped inside. “Reid just get inside” you grumbled having enough of his attitude.

Spencer frowned but walked in and followed you through the aisles after closing and locking the door.

You approached the chairs and smiled as you saw some of the few people that you knew.

“Anyone else?” you heard and sighed as you walked up and turned to face spencer that was still standing for an explanation.

“Hi everyone, my name is Y/N and I’m a recovering addict. Now we can all speak freely here as all of us are in some parts of law enforcement. So where should I start? Uh I’ve had to deal with some nasty people out there. So it all started when a case went bad, I ended up getting shot and needed surgery. I was in hospital for a long time, and there I fell into the rabid hole of morphine. I lost friends and family as my addiction got worse and I nearly overdosed while on the job. My mind was so busy that I forgot I had already shot up that morning and only a few hours later did I take another dose. My co worker found me passed out in my motel room and had to phone an ambulance. It was then and there I decided I couldn’t carry on like that. I had to be stronger and conquer this addiction. So this coming Wednesday I will be sober for a year” you explained and the people around you cheered and clapped but your eyes were only set on spencer.

He had tears in his eyes and you felt your heart break a little bit for him.

You walked back and sat down for the next person to speak. Spencer joined you and sat next to you.

“How…” spencer asked and you turned to him with a sad smile “It takes one to know one” you said softly and watched as he nodded and turned back to listen to other stories.

After the meeting was finished you said goodnight to everyone and locked the door again.

“So what you have permission to use the store?” spencer asked behind you and you chuckled.

“No, it’s mine. Only thing I found pleasure in my whole life was books. So I bought my own bookstore” you explained.

“Reid, I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have gotten involved” you said and looked down at your feet.

“No I’m sorry, I was just embarrassed. And angry that none of my family is helping, but only a true friend would get in the line of fire to try and help” spencer said and you stepped up to him.

“I will help Reid, anything you need” you said and spencer nodded and reached into his bag. You frowned not knowing what he was doing until he held out his hand and when he opened it you saw the three bottles. “Take them…please” Spencer said with a tremble in his voice.

You took the bottles from him and stepped forward slowly, wrapping your arms around him.

Spencer was stiff for a few seconds before his arms circled you and a sob tore through his throat.

“It’s okay Spencer, you will get through this. I will help you” you said and hugged him tighter. You knew there were a lot of hard days ahead, detoxing was one of the worst things to go through, but you would get him through it and stay by his side.

“I’m at a disadvantage here” spencer said as he pulled away and wiped his eyes.

“You know a secrete about me but I know almost nothing about you” he said and you smiled staring up into his beautiful eyes.

“I have an uncle in the BAU” you said and watched Spencer’s eyebrow squint together trying to think who it was.

“Come on let’s grab that book my uncle asked you for” you said and laughed out loud as spencer’s eyes went wide. “Hotch!! Hotch is your uncle?” he exclaimed and you shook your head at him and grabbed his hand to lead him to the children books. You knew he wasn’t big on touching but it warmed your heart when he didn’t pull away but instead grabbed your hand tighter.

[funpuddle]