#and i am pretty good at explaining things in many different ways and i wish i could just teach how to freehand crochet

[adorkastock]

wait, you have aphantasia? do you (or your followers) have any tips for navigating aphantasia as an artist? i have acquired aphantasia due to a TBI and i am trying to relearn How To Do Art. have yet to figure out how i need to adjust my process to accommodate because i keep trying to do things the way I used to and getting frustrated when it doesn't work. Obviously everyone's process will be different but i'd love to hear if you have any ideas.

Oh dang first of all ♥ that is a BIG change to have to deal with. So ♥♥♥ First. THIS WILL BE LONG I GUESS I DONT KNOW HOW TO BE CONCISE ♥ I can assure you can still make art with this new, less picture brain. There's loads of artists with aphantasia and while many of us have had it our wholes lives and had no idea, I am certain we can help give you advice to keep your art going. I will say up front that I started making pose references because I found that my drawings were a LOT better when I worked from reference. Turns out I guess I don't have any head pictures so ??? This explained a lot! I wish I knew how my brain stored info if not visually because I know when I used to draw a lot especially when I drew a lot from life, my figure drawing dramatically improved and I got pretty good at coming up with stuff on my own without references. I guess these would be my tips and I hope people jump in, especially if there's anyone else that's an artist who was a visualizer and is not now. 1) References are your friend! HOARD THEM. Don't be afraid to MAKE them. Take lots of photos, save art that does things you like for inspiration, collect lots and lots of visuals outside your head. 2) Even artists who can visualize often seem to report they cannot always reproduce their head pictures the way they want to. When I have 'an idea for a drawing' it's like a concept in my head. It's kind of just words and maybe some vague composition but again - not sure what it is just know it's not visual. So I gotta THUMBNAIL. A lot of times when I wanna work out what an idea is I just have to doodle a bunch of little versions of it til I go "yep, that's it, that's the one." Basically when I see it I know it's right but I have to see it externally to "see" it. Every piece I make (even my hair bows) I can't really *see* until it's there in front of me. I guess that means this part's advice is: draw little versions of things to work out visual problems on paper rather than in your head. If anyone else has things to add please please do!

[purplekissinger]

I am the pretty thing that lives in the castle

And I pray one prayer - I repeat it till my tongue stiffens - Catherine Earnshaw, may you not rest as long as I am living; you said I killed you - haunt me, then!  Emily Bronte, ‘Wuthering Heights’.

Y/N became a ghost instead of Myrtle. She couldn't care less about Tom. He wishes he could say the same. Wordcount: 3k.

At their first meeting, Tom even shrieked a little (as he later justified, solely because Y/N took him by surprise). He crept towards the sinks that bathed in the bluish light of the moon, and did not at all expect that someone would jump at him from the ceiling with a  “Boo!”

“Boo,” Y/N said reluctantly and passed through him like a light bluish cloud. Tom closed his eyes, but didn’t feel anything.

“Good evening to you too,” he said, looking at her cautiously. Y/N floated up to the ceiling and was now studying the stucco, running her ghostly finger absentmindedly over the frozen gargoyle masks. “What's new?”

“As you may guess, absolutely nothing,” Y/N responded, “but I like that you’re trying to be polite. It's nice.”

“Do you feel ‘nice’?”

“Not really. I'm using words that I learned in life, but they don't quite describe my experience because I've never experienced anything like this before. I'd rather you be polite than rude, and that's my new “nice.”

Tom looked at her, a luminous spot against the black wall, which trembled slightly, like the wings of a strange butterfly. Y/N died wearing a thin shirt, but there was no longer any way she could be cold or get sick.

“If I didn’t know you were a Ravenclaw, I would have guessed by now,” he said.

“I was different when I was alive,” Y/N said judiciously. “More lively”

“You sure were”.

“No, I mean it. I can't explain it enough for you to understand, but this experience is...changing. Everything becomes so transparent, unreal. If I were the same, I would have already cried barrels of tears and flooded the toilet”.

“There is someone who is eager to do that for you,” Tom said gloomily. “Myrtle has been whining all day long, telling everyone what a wonderful friend you were.”

“Me?”  Y/N sounded surprised. “I can’t remember that we were friends. However, I did stand up for her a couple of times…”

Tom kept silent a little longer, angrily tapping his fingers on the broken edge of the sink. When falling, already dead, Y/N hit her head here. They didn't fix the sink, instead, they put a lock on the toilet door, but Tom sneaked in almost every evening.

“Is that why you’re not angry at me for killing you?” he finally asked.

“Well, technically you didn’t kill me. You just released a basilisk, which also didn't do anything against its nature, so it's kind of like an accident. Although I can understand why you didn’t tell anyone about it all,” Y/N said. “No, that’s not the reason why”.

“You are very understanding,” said Tom. “Is it okay if I stay here a little longer? I need to prepare an essay on the history of magic, and tomorrow is the final match between the badgers and Slytherin. All of Hogwarts is shaking”.

“Make yourself at home,” Y/N said indifferently.

She went down to the Chamber of Secrets with him when the time came to seal it. Hovering silently two steps behind him, she looked at the tunnels and rusty gratings that were many, many centuries old, and for the first time something like curiosity was reflected on her transparent face. For some reason this made Tom feel almost happy. Y/N’s curiosity became almost human when, rustling its scales, a huge snake slowly crawled out of the black hole in the wall and surrounded them with a ring, and put its terrible head so as to get a better look at the guests, and hissed in greeting.

“I've read that those who speak Parseltongue can look a basilisk in the eyes and survive,” said Tom, looking down, “but I don’t want to test that.”

Y/N  looked fearlessly with her dead eyes straight into the face of the creature.

“Yes, the cost of a mistake would be very high,” she said. “What is your pet's name?”

“Susie,” Tom said quietly. “It's a girl”.

Y/N smiled weakly.

“Hello, Susie,” she said. Susie let out a squeal that sounded more like a laugh. “Nice to meet you. Unfortunately, this is not for long, because we have come to seal the Chamber of Secrets forever.”

“For a while,” Tom corrected her. “Susie, I'll be back, I promise. I don't know when, but I'll be back”.

He closed his eyes and stretched his hands forward. The basilisk poked its terrible mouth into his chest, and Tom hugged her. 

***

When Tom returned to school the next year, no one noticed anything, and he even began to think that the ritual did not work, but as soon as he crossed the threshold of the toilet on the third floor, a quiet exclamation was heard from under the ceiling:

“Oh! Tom, what happened to you?”

Like a feather or a petal, Y/N slowly descended towards him. Tom looked at her and thought that flying suited her well.

“Is it that noticeable?” he asked suspiciously.

“You have become very small,” Y/N said, flying around him. “Like this,” and made a small circle with her hands. “Where did half of you go?”.

This is how he learned that ghosts see the effects of Horcruxes.

“I won’t tell anyone,” she promised. “Who was it?”

And Tom told her. About everything, about how he found out who the Gaunts were, about how he found his uncle, about the Riddles, about how scary it was to look at his father’s corpse, because he was so very alike him, about how he made a Horcrux right there while the bodies were still warm. It was easy for him, he wanted to talk, to free himself from every detail, take it out of his head, let Y/N look, discuss, judge.

She was in no hurry to judge. She just said:

“This could backfire on you.”

“How?” Tom suddenly felt offended. He just now realized that he would like her to admire what a cool magician he is, and maybe even clap her hands.

“I know more than you,” she said vaguely. “Not everything, perhaps, but more. Yes, I’m still on the threshold, but from where I’m standing, it’s clear that you acted very rashly.”

“What do you mean by ‘still’?"

She didn't answer.

All autumn, winter and summer he went to visit Y/N, even leaving textbooks in a niche by the window. It was quiet and somehow very cozy there, the light from the window was so gentle, and on sunny days the stained glass windows seemed to light up with colored lights. Y/N was silent for the most part, but seeing her figure out of the corner of his eye and hearing her thoughtful humming under her breath was... nice. This was his new “nice”, because something inside of him began to change inexplicably, irreversibly and horribly.

In winter, he asked her to come to the Yule Ball, and she agreed, and she blew out all the candles and ruined the chandelier. Oh, the chaos!.. And in the spring they celebrated Y/N’s first Deathday Party. For this occasion Tom stole a lemon pie from the kitchen, but Y/N politely thanked him and said that she couldn’t eat that. She fluttered back and forth, he chewed on the pie, they argued about the technique of using Fiendfyre, and it was a nice evening.

“I won’t come back here in the fall,” Tom said suddenly, because in fact that’s all he’s been thinking about for the last few days.

“I know,” Y/N said. “You are in seventh year. I can count to seven”.

“But I’ll come back someday,” he said stubbornly. “I just don’t know when”.

“I think I’ve already heard this once”.

“I’ll come back for Susie too, don’t you worry.”

“And what will we do then, riddle me this?”

“Seize the Ministry of Magic,” he blurted out. “Y/N, I'll miss you. Will you miss me?”

“I would like to tell you something nice in response, but I’ll tell the truth. Maybe I won't be here soon.”

He suddenly felt very hot. Then terribly cold.

“What do you mean you won’t be here? Where are you going to go?” Tom asked in an unnaturally high voice. “Aren’t you here forever?”

“Not really,” Y/N answered evasively. “You see, when I died, I was not at all ready for this”.

“Can anyone possibly be ready for this?”

“You must be ready, Tom. Now I know that. I was confused and made... the wrong choice. Stuck on the threshold. Didn't go any further. But I can step forward at any moment, I just need to think it over carefully and make a decision”.

“Can’t you step back?” Tom asked. He did not put hope into these words, but it sounded nevertheless.

“No,” Y/N answered simply. “I died, Tom”.

He rested his hand on his cheek and watched her spin, arms outstretched, right up to the ceiling, the invisible wind blowing her hair. He said:

“I regret that I didn’t know you when you were alive. I think we could become friends.”

“We could,” Y/N agreed. “But for this to happen you shouldn’t have killed me”.

Tom jumped up sharply and, his burning face hid in his hands, quickly walked out of the room. The door slammed so loudly that the noise echoed throughout the entire corridor.

***

Tom did not soon cross this threshold again.

He walked from Dumbledore's office after the first unsuccessful job interview in his life, he wanted to get out of the castle as quickly as possible so as not to endure this humiliation anymore, but his feet themselves led him to the third floor.

“You have become even smaller,” said a familiar voice, which he had only dreamed about in the morning. Loud, distant, but somehow comforting. “You're barely visible”.

Tom was silent. He looked and still did not believe that he was seeing her again. Finally he grinned and stepped forward.

“But you’re still the same,” he said.

“The same, but not quite,” Y/N objected, going down to meet him. “I thought a lot and almost decided to take a step further”.

“But not yet?”

“Not yet. This is a complex process, and it doesn't get any easier now that I have all the time in the world”.

“What exactly are you doing?” Tom asked, leaning against the wall. A forgotten feeling of comfort covered him in a cool wave. He felt like he wanted to stay.

“I’m thinking,” Y/N said. “A lot”.

“Don’t you need to, I don’t know, take revenge on your murderer?” he asked and realized that it sounded like a request. Lord Voldemort had a lot of requests that day.

“No, thanks,” said Y/N. She looked him up and down with a curious look and added: “It seems to me that there’s not much left of him anyway.”

Tom tiredly sank to the floor and tucked his legs under him. He wanted to talk to her again and again, so that she would answer sharply, but always to the point. He wanted her to scream at him, to rush to claw his eyes out, he wanted her to thirst for revenge.

“I sometimes saw you in my dreams,” he said. “Like we’re friends or something.”

“I have nothing to do with this,” Y/N said. “Have you made any living friends over the years?”

“Wait for me,” Lord Voldemort said without listening to her. He wanted it to sound like an order, but it turned out to be the third request.  “Y/N, I figured out how to defeat death.”

“Sure you did”.

“I am not lying. I really fought it all this time and almost won”.

“I wish you would know how stupid you look now.”

“Are you going to listen or not?! I tell you, wait, I will bring you back, I will fix everything, you will be alive again, I will get you out…”

“Promise?”

“Yes, yes!”

“Lord Voldemort's promise?”

She smiled. Unable to look at her, Tom stormed out.

***

The third time he returned to the castle was on May 2, 1998. He walked along the empty corridors of the third floor, and his steps echoed loudly. He was going to congratulate Y/N on her yet another Deathday. In his hands was not a lemon pie, but an Elder Wand.

The door to the girls' toilet was blown off its hinges by the explosion. He crossed the threshold and saw that the stained glass windows were broken, and golden dawn rays were pouring into the room. For a second it seemed to him that the place was empty, that he was late.

“Oh, Merlin!” a familiar laugh rang out. “What's happened to you, Tom? You have become so very small, smaller than a mouse!”

She came down from the ceiling as before, but for the first time he saw her in the pink rays of the sun, and she seemed almost alive. For the first time he saw her almost alive.

“Come with me, Y/N”, he said softly. His hand trembled a little, grasping his wand. “I will bring you back to life. I will give you back everything and  even more. Soon I will have the Resurrection Stone, and you will live again”.

She laughed even louder, twirled as if in a dance, and he felt uneasy.

“Stupid, stupid Tom,” Y/N said. “Still don’t get this, do you? Everyone gets smarter over the years, but you seem to only get dumber”.

And no Avada Kedavra could shut her up.

“But I'm glad you came. Really, I am. I wanted to say goodbye to you, Tom. I'm finally making that step”.

“No,” Lord Voldemort said in a changed voice. “Don’t. Don’t you dare”.

“Or else what?”

“Don't do this”, when was the last time he begged for something, pleaded? Was it with her?! “Stay. Stay, Y/N. I told you, I'll bring you back!”

“You forgot the magic word”. Y/N giggled. She sank to the floor and looked at him cheerfully and seriously at the same time. “I feel sorry for you, Tom”.

He had heard it once before, but coming from her it sounded and felt like “Crucio.”

“I have to go, really. There's no time to chat. I’ll tell you one more thing. Soon you will be offered a choice one last time, so please, please, don’t be stubborn. Can you do this for me?”

Tom looked at her desperately, afraid to blink, and still missed the moment when Y/N melted into the air.

***

The empty platform shines white, as if it were covered with snow. There are no trains here. No people, too. The bench blackens on the platform like a wound. A faint whimper came from under the bench.

A girl is walking along the platform.

She is wearing a thin shirt, but there is no way that she could be cold. The blue tie is fluttering in the invisible wind. She hurries to the bench, bends down, carefully takes out the bundle of robes from there, and opens it, and smiles a little and carefully presses it to her chest.

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday amazing fandom :) I realized last review forgot to mention with it being the 100th ep that I hit quite a milestone myself. It was my 100th review. Unreal and proud of myself for doing 100 of these. Now it's my 101st with this one. They’re hard work but enjoy doing them so much.

Love the responses these have gotten. So Thank you to everyone who's commented, liked or reblogged any of these 100 you are amazing. I appreciate you more than you'll ever know. This episode is adorable for so many reasons lots of good Chenford nuggets in here and lots of John/Bailey moments I can fast forward LOL Let us get started.

6x03 Trouble in Paradise

We start with some GLORIOUS domestic Chenford. I mean legit glorious. Tim with his early morning scratchy voice. Leaning against that door frame like the delicious sight he is. Also let’s not by-pass the scruff. It's littered all over that sexy jawline of his. Mmm. Take me now sir. Anyways....To top it off he’s in his jam jams I love this. He asks her if she slept at all? Lucy telling him she’ll sleep when she’s taken the exam and gotten detective.

Tim scoffing knowing she’s not sleeping then either LOL I mean he’s not wrong…He’s so damn supportive as he listens in as she explains what she’s prepared on. The way he just nods along and listens to her vent. Every woman’s dream Tim Bradford every woman's. Checking in to test the temperature of her neuroses today heh I love him for it. He just wants to love her through this so much. It makes my heart so happy.

Lucy explains how it’s the oral portion that’s keeping her up at night. It would be keeping me up too honestly. Especially with how subjective it is. Also like to note how unfair it is how friggin pretty Lucy looks in the morning. Wish I could look that good ha. Tim asking if she still thinks Primm is out to get her? Then explains her cookie debacle. How she brought him some homemade ones and he just tossed them. I mean that's pretty damn rude....What a schmuck.

I relate to Lucy’s anxiety so much. Because I am her when I am very stressed and anxious. I get hyper focused and can’t relax. Won’t let myself do anything till that’s done. Tim once again does his damndest to calm her, support her and reassure her it’ll be ok. The man deserves a gold star for how amazing he is eps 1-4 truly. He is 10/10 incredible for her. Her legit support system through out this whole thing.

The way he tries to take her highlighter cracks me up. Gently placing his hands over hers and pulls. She holds onto it for dear life though so he gives up. lol Tim tries a different tactic. He tells her she can over-prepare. Which is true. I’ve lived this life. BUT when you are this stressed/anxious that ain’t coming through. Her reply cracks me up. ‘No, that is an idea that lazy people created.’ LMAO This made me laugh so hard cause I would say something to this effect.

Tim does a Hail Mary of logic in this last portion. Telling her she’s gonna get in her head, how she just needs to trust herself and then let it go. His smile is so pure and sweet. Truly thinking he’s gotten through to his girl finally. The way she nods. Then Lucy instantly walks it back ‘ Yeah, I don’t think I can do that.’ I’m rolling. Oh Lucy I do get you girl. Least she’s honest with her man ahha

Tim knows when to tap out and does as such. With a frustrated groan he gets up. Knowing he’s not gonna break her study spell. Noting he’s gonna go take a shower then. Little does he know the prospect of him wet and naked is enough to break it. Lucy is surprised at his sudden departure. Asking if he means right now? He’s so over the convo just gives her a ‘Yeah.’ Wiping his hands of this situation for the moment.

Lucy lust's after him as he walks away from her. The thought of Tim being her break is far more enticing than a normal break. Mmm don’t blame you girl. I would be using that man for all kinds of stress relief if I was you... Lucy finally gets up and follows her man to the shower. For a much needed break. I love the continuity of their shower sex LOL It’s bloody fantastic and we’re all here for it. I saw a great post that said ‘If only 5x01 Tim could see himself now.’ He would lose his friggin mind.

Getting all the shower sex and shower time he wants with Lucy now. She seeks him out for it and vice versa. Gah so good. The writers sure know how to take care of us. Especially with moments like this. D wrote a fantastic fic about this moment. Highly encourage you to read it. Also saw a great tag for this as well. It was their head canon he did that on purpose to get her to unwind with him. Sold! LOL I love this fandom and how it thinks.

We get to see Tim back in T.O mode and it revs my engine everyone. hahaha It just does especially after not seeing it for awhile. Tim standing there looking criminally delicious in one of my fav poses. Arms crossed, biceps bulging, and forearms front and center. Hot damn he’s such a sight.

Celina is being reprimanded for her behavior at the wedding. Because honestly it was concerning to say the least. With Nolan out and Harper needing to get back to the detective squad Tim is taking over. Lucy catches his eye and he knows she’s up to something. I love his expression. He knows he needs to see what is going on. He barks orders at Celina to get war bags ready before he goes to check on his girl.

Lucy going to Smitty has to be one of the most hysterical things. Tim literally just told her to cool it for her sanity. What does she do? Go to friggin Smitty. I’m dying. Thinking it won’t get back to Tim. Your husband done found out already dear. ha I do love the tip Smitty gives her on how Primm loves dogs. Such a Melissa detail there. Appealing to the animal lover in her. Tim interrupts their impromptu study session. This scene is comedy gold. Always is with Smitty. Dude isn’t in the show a ton but when he is. Man delivers haha

Tim can’t believe she’s gone to Smitty to study of all people. It is hilarious how offended he is when Lucy says ‘Is he even really helping her?’ Like damn that's ice cold Lucy. Man was just giving you valuable intel lol Tim corralling his girlfriend into his shift for the day is everything. Once again kudos to our man for doing his best for her. Trying to get an obsessive perfectionist to chill is quite the battle to take on. Not only chill but focus on something eIse entirely isn't easy.

I would know I am her and I feel bad for my friends when I get like this. heh. Tim riding the line between BF and Sergeant in front of Smitty is fantastic. She’s like a toddler right now and he’s continuously trying to keep her from the outlets. The parameters he puts down for both Celina and her crack me up. Still got that T.O bark in him for her. The way his eyes follow her out. *dreamy sigh* That BF side coming back out there. Smitty's comment snaps him out of it though. Too funny.

S7. Imma need more of this trio right here. On and off work. It’s such a good one right off the bat. Celina rambling nervously while Lucy enjoys herself in the back. You know she loves watching him in T.O. mode. Just like the rest of us. We also get the delicious eargasm of him saying ‘Juarez’ with that that sexy inflection of his. If it seems like I’m extra feral this ep for him it's because I am LOL No point in fighting it. I am who I am.

Lucy brings up Aaron and Tim is instantly annoyed. That convo doesn't last more than 20 seconds. Tim pulls the car over immediately jolting them both. Telling them both to get out of the car. Ahh S1 Tim trying to make an appearance. Lucy isn’t phased in the least. Because no matter what she knows soft Tim. Also just had her way with him this morning. She ain’t scared ha Their amazing dynamic never ceases to amaze me. Lucy concedes and says they can just talk at lunch...

I do love them Co-T.O’ing Celina in this one. Perfect mixture of hug and smack really. They respond to a guy who claims to have ‘amnesia’ Tim isn’t buying it in the least cause well it's Tim. They make it to the hospital to interview this man. Tim could not be more over this man and his BS if he tried.

His face while this guy prattles on is priceless. Eric out here killing it once again with his facial expressions. Let’s not forget the ZERO amount of personal space per usual with them. Always delights me paired with the height difference? I’m a happy girl. They are once again the epitome of Grumpy x Sunshine here.

No one does it better than our ship. They reconvene in the hallway to discuss how they wanna proceed. They’re so deep into their chat they don’t realize Celina isn’t there. LMAO Her looking around for them after they’ve left is so funny. Giving me 5x17 flashbacks where they kept losing the kid. Except it's their rookie which isn't much better.

Tim yelling out ‘Boot!’ Mmm yes sir. Celina running over to meet up with Tim and Lucy. He continues his gruff T.O. act with her. Telling her he's about the hang a bell around her neck cause he keeps losing her. Oh Timothy. I adore how Lucy looks at Tim while he’s in this mode. Nothing but love eyes emanating from her. You are at work madam. Reign it in it. Actually don't I love it. I would say this portion is indicative of their future parenting styles. But we all know that man is gonna be a softie to their kid(s)

Because he didn’t get to have that. Lucy is going to have to be the one to lay down the law, funny enough. Especially if they have a girl. Lord help Tim. A mini Lucy running around? Man will be a goner... I do adore Lucy jumping in and saving Celina. Because she would’ve loved that herself as a rookie. Lucy’s T.O teaching style is very in line with me as a leader. As we were see in a future ep with her and Celina. She was denied praise so she wants to give what she was denied herself. Exactly how I am as a leader.

Wanted to give everything to my people that I never got. I adore this trio so much. Very mom/dad and their kid. I love Lucy giving Tim crap for not giving her a little praise. Also Lucy defending why she let Celina just go is the best. It is everything I explained above. Tim was of course is adverse to this idea. Trying to keep that hard T.O exterior going. Lucy not backing down asking 'Have I not softened you at all?' LOL You have my dear, but that is exclusive to you and only you. On and especially off work.

We get early morning domestic Chenford x2 in this ep. I’m eating it up. D and I have had this convo about how creepy John/Bailey are with waking up the other. How they’re just sitting like a weirdo till the other wakes up at the end of the bed. It’s not sweet or romantic in the least. It’s off putting lmao Whereas this moment it’s very sweet and intimate. The way Lucy rolls over and he is the first thing she sees. *happy sigh* What a way to wake up.

Look at how that man is looking at her. Tim is head over heels for her and not hiding it at all. It's exuding out of his delicious form as he gazes down at her. I’m not well guys. I’m not well. This is so precious I cannot. Just standing there. Getting ready for the day while he let's his girl catches some much needed extra z’s. Imma implode with how cute this all is. Getting ship drunk over here and loving it.

We can see how soft this man is for her. Right after she just asked the night before if she had softened him at all? Yes Lucy. Very much so. Tim is legit putty in your hands. Never seen this man as happy as he is with her. Second gif is all the proof I need. Also there is something so sexy about the way he rolls out his cuff. Why is this so attractive? I was already feral enough in this ep ahha Look at that man above. Getting ready in his delicious black shirt like he doesn't know he's an absolute snack.

We also get a nice shot of his chest as he buttons up. Hot damn this man is so beautiful. I’m a legit puddle of attraction *fans self*. After Lucy is done gazing at her beautiful BF she realizes she has slept in. Pops up in an instant panic. Tim replying calmly she needed it. Not phased at all by her reaction. What a good man taking care of her like this.

Seriously he was in the running for BF of the year at this point. Tim tells her to take the morning off. You know it's killing him to watch her drive herself into the ground like this. He had to do something. And if a little more sleep was what he could control then so be it. It’s what he was going to make sure happened.

I love how he asks her 'Don’t you feel better?' It's his soft tone that has me melting. Does me in. Lucy concedes immediately saying that she does. So thankful for this man. Thankful for how he takes care of her without even asking. I love them so much. Also there is nothing like sleeping in after lots of sleep debt piles up. Lucy was due for it and Tim made sure she cashed in.

I adore the way she thanks him for looking out for her like this. It’s very sweet and loving. Heart eyes galore. Now the big ass smile on Tim's face after she says that. *chef kiss* My god that man is so happy to have finally gotten a victory with her. That smile has me reeling basically saying 'You’re welcome, my love.’ He then continues to get ready for the day knowing his girl is happy and rested.

Unfortunately the happy morning bubble doesn’t last for long after this. Lucy gets a text saying her test is ASAP. Which beyond sucks and just another mind game from Primm. Because we all know he makes her wait till dead last. 20 minutes my ass you SOB. I hate it sfm how he makes her wait that long only to destroy her in her oral exam. *grumble*

Honestly makes my stomach turn watching her in that oral exam. I can’t stand to watch it but must for this review. I hate her having to defend her mistake from 6x01. That shouldn’t define what an exemplary career she’s had. To this point she’s been stellar and nothing short of extraordinary. Hurts my heart to watch this scene go down. Also angers me and makes me wanna meet Primm in a dark ally with no witnesses…. Grey looks upset af when he posts the exam rankings. When she reads her results. 17th….

Gah this scene absolutely gutted me the first time. That has not changed during this rewatch. The music paired with Melissa’s outstanding acting got me all in my feels. Holy hell it's like getting the wind knocked out of you watching her devastation. How she tells Grey she’s going to die on that list. Ugh. My heart. Getting punished for taking care of Tim when he needed her. Makes me so mad I wanna throat punch Primm. Grey isn’t much comfort but that is a Tim job. It’s a rough rough scene everyone. Hard to stomach.

When Nolan damn near gets everything handed to him. She has to fight and claw for everything. Then still gets this steaming pile of crap. I hate this for our girl I really do.I truly hope we get to have a hard look at where she goes in S7. This needs to be delved into and wrapped up all in one. Our girl needs a path and a purpose. I truly think T.O. Is the calling she never expected it. Be interesting to see what they do in the next season for her following this. T.O. or not. But if she's a T.O. Tim will be her equal and not her superior for when they get back together. But I'm getting ahead of myself lol

We get domestic Chenford part 3 and it’s the best part of all. So much to love about this scene it’s crazy. The soft Tim we all know and love is ever present in this scene. Also, his partner, supportive Tim, is crushing a performance in this segment as well. It’s beyond adorable from end to end. Just what we needed after that devastating scene before. It does our shipper hearts real good.

Lucy is pouring them some wine for their night in. Cause clearly they’re not going out. She wants to hide away with her man. I do not blame her one bit. Telling Tim she can’t believe she came in 17th… That it’s almost worse than coming in last. I would be feeling the same. Tapping into her childhood a bit and the failures she feels from there.

Not only that, but I’m sure the voice in the back of her head, that sounds like her mom, is voicing the same things. About her choosing this career and life. It’s a good thing Tim is there to quell and silence all those voices. He tells her there is no prize for coming in last. BUT there is one for coming in 17th. Haha Tim then reaches over and pulls out the award he got her.

Look at the smile on that goober. He couldn’t be prouder of himself if he tried. Lucy looks throughly confused until she realizes he’s altered the trophy to ‘17st’ LMFAO. I love this man so much. As does Lucy as she grabs the trophy from him. Realizing what he's done. So many reasons to love this moment.

Lucy stated in 3x03 how much she loves trophies. Tim remembered this and got her one. My damn heart. Not only that the man was so sure she would be #1 he bought it beforehand. Lucy Chen’s number supporter right there. Front and center people. Lucy’s smile is everything. Tim is beaming because she is. Look at him in that second gif. He is smiling ear to ear. All he wanted was to make his girl smile and laugh. Check and check. Well done sir.

Tim truly was so damn thoughtful and precious through out this scene. A+ boyfriend right here folks. A damn plus. Man is soft as butter for her. We all love it. Lucy’s energy has immediately changed thanks to the man next to her. Not only does her tune change she matches his mood. Throwing back a joke of her own. Saying how she gonna have to set her sights on a different future. Then mentions Metro to get a rise out of him.

His reaction is HILARIOUS. He wasn’t ready for the joke she sent his way. Completely unprepared with a good answer. Also the stress it would bring him if she actually did. They know they work well together. That is not the problem. It’s the immense and increased danger she would be in. That’s what would give him a legit heart attack everyday. Lucy Chen has once again broken this man's brain. Gotta be a record at this point heh.

Lucy could not be cuter when she tells him she’s kidding. Her whole body bouncing with laughter. That adorableness that only Melissa can conjure and convey. It’s beyond precious. Tim with his weak. ‘I …I knew that.’ Lucy basically following it up with an ‘Ok babe…’ Whatever you say my love. LOL Not believing him even a little bit. They are so cute and sweet I’m diabetic.

Lucy then looks back down at the trophy he got her. Asking him if he really thought she was going to come in first? That self doubt and lack of confidence creeping back in. She truly needs to know and hear it from him. Needs that reassurance he believes in her. Because just like Tim’s needs her opinion of him to be high. Lucy needs to know Tim believes in her. Tim doesn’t miss a beat with his reply.

The sweet smile going along with it. He’s loves her so much. Is so damn proud of her. It just flows out of him. Wasn’t a doubt in his mind she was capable of being #1. He’s seen her defy the odds so many times. Was front row to every victory and loss that’s shaped her as a cop. He’s watched her become this confident bad ass. Overcoming insane and traumatic things only to come out stronger. Knows she’s a strong test taker. To him was a no brainer she would crush this thing and then some.

Lucy hears all that in his tone and reply. Sadly she doesn't take this as a positive. But a failure on her part. She starts to fall back into her previous mood. Feeling like she let her most important person down. Those insecurities rushing back and she is beating herself up. It’s the way she stares down at first. Then locks eyes with him letting him know she’s sorry. Sorry she’s disappointed him. I saw someone made a 1x12 parallel to this line that kinda hurt my heart a bit. And once again it's something I can relate to cause I’m the same. He is just so damn supportive and cares so so much. That it comes off as high standards.

Ones that people feel like they're going to fail to achieve. When really it's just a great depth of caring and voicing what someone is capable of. Because he was denied that in his childhood he wants to make sure the people he loves know it. So they feel this need to live up to these standards he unintentionally sets. I can so relate because I was this way with my team. I was deeply caring and supportive but also voiced a lot what they were capable of. Because I too had been denied that in my childhood and with other leaders in my life. So when others would watch my team they would tell me that I had such high standards for my team.

They did not tell me this in a good way btw. Even though I produced a successful team that loved me it felt like a slight. Now while I had those standards it was always paired with deep caring and support. Just like Tim. He is just trying to build up those he loves and can come off as high standards people can't reach. Just a fascinatingly tragic thing the woman he falls in love with mistake it as high standards. When he's just trying to show how much he cares and supports them.

I stumbled across and felt it fit this moment. Because right now Lucy feels she has failed his high standards. Failed his idea of her being #1 (which we know she hasn't in his eyes.) That she's disappointed him so much so she can barely keep eye contact with him. The potential for miscommunication for this is immense. Like it was for him and Isabel. Luckily Tim kills this before it's an issue. So proud of him BTW. His growth still floors me.

Where in 1x12 Tim has no answer for Isabel saying his standards made her feel like a failure, here he has one for Lucy. He’s learned from his past and that’s a beautiful thing to behold. He’s learned to love better. To communicate better. Loving Lucy has made him want to be better in both of those aspects. He doesn't want to make the same mistakes with her as he did with Isabel. I said back in s2 his relationship with Rachel I loved. Not because I loved him with her. But because it helped heal him. Showed him he could do a relationship again. She got him back to that place where he could fall in love again.

Even Ashley as much as we didn’t like her got him thinking about marriage, serious relationships etc again. A place I’m sure he never thought he would go again. Also taught him what he didn’t want. Even though she was the one to end it you know he learned from it. He saw all the things he wanted out of life for his next relationship and then he saw those things with Lucy. All that to say is with that growth he's gained he immediately quells the anxiety and disappointment raging inside her. Doesn't let it fester.

Squashes the thought of her thinking he could ever think that with his sweet reply. I love how he shakes his head. Kinda like how he did back in 6x02 when she asked if he loved her. Like he can’t believe she would even think he would say or think that about her. So much is said in one sentence here. The way he leans closer to her as well. Makes sure she can read her his heart eyes as he expresses something so deeply true to him. That she could never disappoint him. *heart clutch*

Then we get the sweetest kiss to wrap this moment up. I love the way she smiles into the kiss and afterwards. Makes me squee to no end. Completed besotted with the man next to her. It’s screaming all over her body language how much she loves Tim. Their kisses always bring me such shippy joy. It's hard to put into words sometimes. But this one definitely gives me all the butterfly feels. The entire scene does really.

The scene ends with the cutest smile from Lucy. We talk a lot about Tim’s “Lucy smile.” The one he only brings out for her. Lucy has the same with her “Tim smile.” Ain’t no one making her smile and legit light up the way Tim does. Look at the way she looks at that man in the final gifs. With sheer reverence and awe that she gets to call him hers. Tim is uber cute reveling in how good a job he did haha

Lucy easily gives into his comments. Letting him pad his ego this time. He’s more than earned it. Agreeing he did and she loves him so much for it. Adores this man by her side. He is keeping her afloat like no one else could. He never once gave up in supporting her through this nightmare. How even at her lowest Tim managed to take care of her and make her laugh and smile. She is forever grateful and it’s written all over those last two gifs. Cuteness they name is Chenford.

The song in this scene is called “healing rock.” Seems fitting. Tim was definitely healing her in this final scene. Also just a soothing song that played in the background. Perfect way to end it. That’s all she wrote for this one. Damn good episode for them. I was on cloud 9 after this one. Hard not to be. Thank you amazing readers for like, comment and reblog these. You are the real MVP's. see you all in 6x04 :)

~~~

Side note -Non Chenford

More I see Lucy in T.O roles more I think I want her to be one. She would be an excellent teacher. Far better than friggin Nolan.

I love Grey Checking in with Tim about Lucy. Tim telling him he will be glad when this is done. Killing him how she is has been a mess during all this. My heart.

John and Bailey had to have had the most unromantic boring ass honeymoon ever. I watched it the first time but I fast forwarded all that this time. *snooze*

[green-enby]

Heyo! Have you watched Koisenu Futari (恋せぬふたり, Two people who can't fall in love) yet? It's a great series, just 8 episodes long! I binged it in one day :) [smiley]

It focuses on two aromantic asexual people living together. This is a little appreciation post, containing some thoughts that it evoked in me as an aroace.

If you don't want spoilers, please don't read!

It's so relatable how Sakuko keeps blaming herself all throughout the show… Insecurity stemming from societal expectations that dictate romance is for everyone, and that people who don't date are somehow "failing" in life; I think this affects allos as well.

When I broke off my romantic relationship, I too felt like it had been my fault, for not having been a good enough partner, for not being able to love them in the same way they loved me.

To finally learn that you are not "defective", that there's other people like you…! I love how the two MCs don't grieve their lack of attraction; Sakuko is perfectly happy discovering she's aroace. She and Takahashi are living their "best life" together.

Sure, many aroaces do wish they were allo, and that needs to be represented too, but this series to me really shined a light over why they want that: it's because amatonormativity is rampant in the world, not because lacking attraction is inherently sad. The main conflicts in the series stem from the clash between allo society and the aroace experience, after all. I think that's neat! It gave me a good dose of aroace joy—while still showing the hurts that come with it, realistically—and I really needed it.

I didn't expect her to come out to her family so soon, but whoa, that was intense. Her mother's negative reaction is what all people who exclude a-spec people from the LGBTQIA+ community should see, to understand that we face the same issues they do.

I haven't come out to my parents as aroace yet, and watching this made me realize how awful it actually feels to be in the closet. I somehow hadn't realized I am. I've always felt safe coming out to them as other things, as bisexual back in the day, and as trans non-binary.

It might be because my confidence disappeared when they reacted badly both times, but this coming out feels almost impossible.

Comparing it to coming out as bi, it's really not that different: if you're bi, you're promiscuous and date too many people; if you're aroace, you're a prude and cold-hearted. If you break away from the status quo, you're wrong either way.

But at least, most people do eventually understand the bi experience, if they understand same-gender attraction, and fuse it with straightness, even though it's a flawed method.

With aros and aces, instead, it's such an alien concept for an allo, which makes it way harder to come out and have to explain to them how to deconstruct allo-amatonormativity. It's exhausting. Thankfully, there's people like Kazu who are actually willing to learn about us. That gives me hope.

I feel like it's super eye-opening to find out the concept of romance didn't even exist in the past. Pretty sure that in Europe, it originated during the Middle Ages from the ideal of chivalry. So it's really just a social construct, and opting out of it shouldn't be so controversial!

It's just a set of pointless, annoying rules like having to kiss eachother, having to say "I love you", and doing it all a set amount of times, otherwise it's not good enough. What if we don't want to? What if it doesn't come natural to us? If it's just a social construct, fuck it, I'm not adhering to that! We do whatever makes us happy!

Even in the series itself, Sakuko too goes through a heartbreak, even if it's not the romantic kind: she valued her friendship and future cohabitation with Chizuru above all else, but Chizuru abandoned her, because of romantic love. It's not true that aroaces have it easy.

Like our MC, we have to deal with fear that we'll come off flirty when we're just being friendly, confusion over concepts that we feel we should understand, shame over the fact that we're different, fear of loneliness, frustration and pain that we'll always come second to our friends' romantic partners, or even trauma from a relationship or sexual encounter that we didn't really want. I could go on and on.

These last scenes really got to me. Especially the second one… I admit that I cried, when she had to turn her down, and it seemed like her aromanticism had ruined their relationship. It hurts that the way I am could seriously harm someone I care about. It hurts that most people work differently and that they can't help it, and that we can't help it either. I don't like being put in that position, to cause someone a heartbreak. I have with my ex, and had to watch them spiral down… It was horrible.

Still, I wouldn't change my orientation for the world. I'm confident in my identity, I love being aroace.

In the end, we can all reach our full potential, reach a point where we feel fulfilled and that we're living our best life, find ourselves a family if it's what we want, have our dream job and house. Being aroace doesn't condemn us to a life of unhappiness. That's what this series left me with by the end; it gave me so much hope for my future.

(I'm aware I'm coming off as a bit toxically positive here haha, sorry if I'm striking a bad chord; I'm just in a really good period right now, and riding this wave for as long as I can! Hopefully I can rub it off someone else as well.)

That said, I really loved this j-drama, it was funny and relatable and emotional, I wished it had lasted longer! It seems like the author isn't even aroace herself, so I'm amazed at how good the representation was! So much thought and research has gone into it, and it shows; the result is amazing.

Thanks for reading my scattered thoughts about this! 🧡💛🤍🩵💙

[jp---v]

Part of me wishes that Midoriya never received One For All. As a disabled person, it always seemed like Quirks and the lack of Quirks were (in some ways) a metaphor for disability. The whole "Can someone be a Hero without a Quirk" just read as "Can I be Someone if I am disabled". And the answer was no. The answer was "You're useless, but I can fix you". I know that it would make so many arcs and part of the story either way more difficult or probably just impossible, but I wish that Midoriya stayed quirkless. He was built up as being incredibly smart and I wish we got to actually see that instead of. Big Punch. Big Kick. Fight Win. I wish that instead we saw him be resourceful and intelligent, I wish he was a bit more like Eraserhead or Nighteye, where they have weapons to help them fight. I wish we saw him fall behind physically and get support from teachers in the areas he was failing, see him go from just barely scraping by to succeeding because he has support, anything other than just handing over the cheat code to being a "Good Hero". I wish Midoriya's story was actually about if it's possible to become a hero without a quirk, and I wish the answer was yes.

Sorry for the big chunk of text, I've been thinking of this for. A while.

Ok, first thing first. Minor notes.

Paragraph breaks are your friend

You probably could've made your own post and more fully fleshed out your thoughts without having to worry about the ask character limit.

Now onto answering.

Yes. The series would've been completely different if One for All wasn't in play. Several arcs would have been impossible for Midoriya to participate in the Big Final Fight, and an action series where your protagonist can't join the fight, isn't set up for success.

But there are different avenues that could've been taken. A bigger focus on Underground heroics. Behind the scenes info gathering, undercover work, stake-outs, and all the dirty side of heroics people don't get to see. Eraserhead is an Underground hero himself, there's no way he couldn't have done with a quirkless Midoriya what he did with Shinsou and more, because he's his homeroom teacher. Weapons, tactics, Underground contacts. Then there's Midoriya getting to use his brain to design support gear and strategize his way around his opponents. Why set him up as this super analytically-minded person if it rarely comes into play? He's just another 'hit 'em till they stop fighting back' hero in the end.

But him losing One for All sucks too because he never even actually got to master it. The thing he's been trying to do since he got it. The series set this huge, important goal with easily trackable benchmarks(the percentages) and tosses it to the wayside, only for him to still fail at saving Tenko(because Tenko's been gone for years. A memory isn't a person).

On a wider scale, the series could've explored the themes of discrimination against quirkless people instead of brushing them away almost entirely. The fact that by the end of the series everyone was acting like quirkless discrimination never existed, and were instead focused on heteromorph discrimination, may have partially come from the fact that Bakugo is a 'fan favorite' gag me and Horikoshi didn't want to acknowledge him being the bigot he was pretty clearly shown to be early on. So it all got swept under the rug and "never happened." Because that would also require recognizing Midoriya's trauma, and the series has never once acknowledged it or taken Midoriya's pain seriously. Like honestly, Midoriya being so starved for human contact that he let's Uraraka call him Deku, even after explaining that it's an insult with years worth of weight behind it(and her still calling him that after he explained it), then making it his hero name? This terrible insult you've been called for pretty much your entire life, that's what you want to be known as for the rest of your life and beyond? And after Bakugo's alleged "apology" he switches to the overly-familiar Izuku, as if they're actually close friends and he still isn't violently screaming and insulting him like he has for years.

And as far as "support from the teachers" goes... UA actually sucks, just, as a school. He couldn't get support when he had more power in his pinky than most teachers have combined, even when he kept breaking that pinky. Eraserhead doesn't want 'students' to make into 'heroes' he's making paranoid little child soldiers. Despite having high grades, a 'saving people' mindset instead of wanting to be a hero for fame or money, which should put him pretty high on favorability compared to most of his classmates, but no, he's the Problem Child because he can't control his quirk. But does he ever get any actual help? Extra training? Quirk counseling? Nope! He gets thrown to the fucking wolves until Gran Torino sees what's happening and comes out of retirement to help this poor child no one else is helping. Crazy how Midoriya spent a couple of months at UA and his control never got any better, but just a week with someone actually training him and he can finally use OfA without hurting himself.

I forgot where I was going with this tbh.

Anyway... the story could've been completely different if Horikoshi acknowledged Midoriya's trauma, showed the effects of quirkless discrimination, and actually let the teachers teach in a series with the word 'Academia' in the name.

If Midoriya had had any kind of suppprt from anyone in his life, and was less hyperfocused on quirks specifically so he could think about support gear, then yes. He could've been a hero. Not the bright, shining spotlight kind of hero, but still a hero.

[tansyuduri]

Merlin Loregasm Rewatch S1E5

Hi Everyone! Welcome to my rewatch of Merlin focusing on the lore. I am a giant nerd so pretty excited about this. We’re on LANCELOT

Lancelot: It's my life's ambition to join the Knights of Camalot OKAY let's talk knights! While most knights were nobles. (Especially in the later middle ages) Not all were. In the early middle ages it was not that unusual for a commoner to be knighted for acts of valor in battle, Great service to a much higher lord, or marrying a noble woman. While this got much more rare it did not fully die out. So Lancelot coming as a commoner and hoping to be a knight is unusual but not unheard of. His way of going ABOUT it is a bit odd.

Arthur: Right you jumped up dung beetle this is it. your final test. Pass this and you are a knight of camalot. Fail and you're no one. You face the most feared of all foes. The ultimate killing machine. You face me. Your challenge is to last one minute in free combat. Grimmond second son of Wessex. Your time starts now. OKAY lots to talk about here. First of all Knight of Camalot must be a great honnor. This dude is the second son of at LEAST a noble family. That being considered no one is huge. However the second son thing could mean he would not inherit his fathers title and this is what Arthur refers to.

ALSO is Wessex suborninate to Camalot? Or are knights just coming from outside Camelot because being a knight of Xamalot is such a big deal. Wessex was a anglo-saxon kingdom and as I have said before we are pre saxon take over in Merlin. HOWEVER the first recorded king of Wessex was named Cedirc and this name is thought to be brittonic rather than saxon giving rise to the theory he was a native of Briton who was later saxonized. Possibly implying a existance of Wessex before the Saxons arrived. It is also implied that for a while he was not a king. SO it's possible Wessex could have been part of Camalot. Also, the test is interesting. See Kings could knight whoever they wanted. Occasionally they would go on a knighting spree of squires just so they could say they had more knights before a battle. Of course as we know in Camalot squires are not a thing. So the normal path of page to squire to knight goes out the window. MY POINT HERE is this test might serve as a replacement for that. Come up with by either Uther or Arthur. Hey you wanna be a knight for us? Sure, pass this test and BOOM knight. It kinda suggests that a LOT of people wanna come be knights of Camelot. (Which seeing how many die is a good thing) So my question is WHY. WHY is this such a plum gig that people want it so bad. Is there some level of renown? Uther does not seem to give out bits of land so it can't be that.

Okay I'm kinda loving the fact that the coat of arms for Wessex is similar to but not the same as the one given to Wessex in the 1300s. Same colors no cross (eliminating Christianity) and what looks like different animals. (but its hard to see)

First reference to the First code of Camalot. Only those of noble blood can serve as knights. Will talk about this a bit more later then reasoning is explained a bit I do find it interesting that they use the word code which was also used for the "code of chivalry"

Gaius: The first code of camalot states that only those of noble blood can serve a knight. Uther created the knights to prtect this kingdom from those who wished to destroy it. He knew he would have to trust each of his knights with his life. So he chose them from the families that had sworn allegiance to him. The nobility Okay first of all considering how he treats commoners and is paranoid fair. SECOND OF ALL HOLY SHIT UTHER CREATED THE KNIGHTS? What was there before? I mean I know he conquered the kingdom. so choosing them from families sworn to him makes sense in that aspect. BUT DID CAMALOT JUST NOT HAVE KNIGHTS? I mean where were the Knights of Medir sooo. Okay I've got this. Knights of Camalot were likely disbanded or something following the abuses of the Knights of Medir. Uther however was like Naw fam I'm bringing them back, there is NO WAY that could happen to me. So he re-formed the knights of Camalot. ALSO does this mean every camalot knight we see comes from Camalot nobility? So Camalot has some part of western illes (Valiants heraldry implied Ireland so Camalot owns part of Ireland?) Or can it be from any nobility? Even if it's not sworn to him? And Northumbria mentioned later is also Camalot but there are still other kingdoms? Okay okay. so either at first knight they were nobles of Camalot but then things spread to other nobles. That's why Uther doesn't seem to know Valient. (Of freaking Ireland) but still invites him to serve as a knight of Camalot. And has knights coming to try to serve from lots of places. OR Camalot is bigger than I thought it was despite just being conquered and Includes some of "the western illes" (Almost certainly Ireland) Wessex, and Northumbria. (While Mercia is somehow its own kingdom) Gonna look for evidence to resolve this as I keep watching the show. because I NEED TO KNOW.

FYI I will not be trying to solve what obscure references like this are about. A LOT ABOUT TOPOGRAPHY CAN CHANGE esp when magic effects things.

Okay LORD of Northumbria. Its looking like Camalot actually does include Northumbria and likley Wessex but not Mercia. (Also thus possibly some least bits of Ireland? Or the other two were from outside Camalot and Northumbria is part of Camalot. I'M KEEPING AN EYE ON THIS. BECAUSE AGAIN I NEED TO KNOW. ANYHOW LETS TALK NORTHUMBIA

It was an Anglo Saxon Kingdom consisting of two other lands that united under the Saxons. (Bernica and Deira both of whom likely existed before the saxon invasion.) Now Deira at least it brought up later so it's likely separate from them. Bernicia is also never mentioned in Merlin SO my thought is Merlin world wise Northumbria is basically the name we are using for Bernicia. Because otherwise it just plain would not exist yet.

Okay in a time before machine made clothing this is a BIG DEAL. See noble did not sew her own clothing. Instead they would hire a tailer who was hired specifically to make custom fitted clothing for the elite. AND if this is true it means Gwen might have been one of them in addition to being a servant. Gwen would likely be far from the only one. But if she was the best that would be noticed. HOWEVER If a noble family was wealthy enough and had an extensive staff, they might hire a tailor exclusively. I don't think Gwen served this role simply because she would not have the time. Gwen however CLEARLY knows how to sew clothing for nobles, as she does it for Lancelot. This implies that she in fact DOES sew clothing for nobles (If not the pendragons themselves) as a side gig. This would likely earn her money. (Further supporting the Gwen's family is more well off than most non nobles theory.) I find it interesting that she keeps being a servant when she has this as a possibility. Does she need to? Or is her loyalty to Morgana and Later Arthur on display here that she chooses to keep being a servant?

Hahaha Okay this position is pretty unique to the Merlin world. Normally patents of nobility would be used and not really checked. ALSO, nobility would have married other nobility People tended to know each other or of each other. Nobles never really had to prove their status otherwise, because their status is known to everyone at the time of their birth.

Gaius: A griffin is a creature of magic. It is born of Magic, Sire and can only be killed by magic. Okay what constitutes a creature of magic? Unicorns are not, thats clear, Are Afancs? Since Merlin did use magic there they could be? Cockatrices are not, however. And trolls are not. In short what counts as a "Creature of magic" Seems to be kinda arbitrary in Merlin. So not much I can extrapolate here.

LIKE I SAID IN PREVIOUS POSTS Gwen's father is not just a typical village blacksmith. And that has implications on the status of Gwens family and their ability to live a higher quality life. (I talked a lot about this in previous episodes)

Okay we have a thank god from Gaius who we KNOW was trained in the old religion. SO either saying god does not mean you are not pagan in Merlin, or he converted or somthing.

Gwen sent at least the helmet off with him. Possibly more. That stuff is not cheap! As in normally only rich nobles could afford it. Also did she send him off with the set that was the best she had? I don't really think Lancelot would accept that. So I think she sent him off with a cheaper suit or helm. UNLESS Lancelot didn't really know how expensive armor was. Which is a big possibility because he didn't know about the code so he might not know about other things in a knights world.

[frostfire-17]

What is cuneiform?

@ipsomaniac asked if I could explain the cuneiform system, and so I am going to give it a shot. Here goes! (Update: it got long! But there's pictures!)

Part I: What does it look like? How do we work with it?

This is the cuneiform script:

This is a first-millennium BC text of Sargon II, in Akkadian (specifically Neo-Assyrian). My user icon is a much older Sumerian text. In a second we'll see some Hittite. Just like the Latin script is used for English, French, Turkish, and many other languages today, the cuneiform script was used for lots of languages in the ancient world. It changed a bit over three thousand years of constant use, but it remains pretty recognizable because of the wedges. "Cuneiform" is just Latin for "wedge-shaped," because scholars love giving things banal names and then translating them into Latin or Greek so no one can tell.

This is a Hittite tablet:

This particular tablet is part of the royal funerary ritual (which has many many MANY tablets, many of which are way more broken than this one, and/or missing entirely). It's been pieced together from lots of fragments, all excavated separately. (You can see their excavation numbers written on the fragments, e.g. 39/c.) It's written on clay, like most of their texts were. This is a pretty good amount of preservation for a tablet this size - many are more fragmentary. I wish the picture were better, but tablets are not catalogued by how good the pictures are and it would have taken a million years to find a really hi-res one suitable for our purposes.

You can see that each symbol is made up of a bunch of wedges. These were pressed into the clay with a stylus while it was still wet. If you look closely, you can also spot spaces between words (more obvious at the end of a paragraph).

Here's a little slice of our tablet:

And here's a drawing of that same little slice. This is how scholars usually interact with texts on a day-to-day basis, because taking readable photos of tablets is difficult and going to see the tablets is more difficult. Drawings are made by experts in the presence of the tablets and published so that everyone can look at them.

Here the scholar who did this drawing (published in Keilschrifturkunden aus Boghazköi vol. 39, text no. 4) was working with only some of the fragments, and so has written in the transliteration of the left half, which they weren't copying. So you can see how each cuneiform sign corresponds to a written syllable, sometimes in lowercase, sometimes in all caps, and sometimes in superscript.

What does all this mean? How does it work? Okay. Cuneiform is a really difficult and frustrating writing system to read, for a few reasons. 1) It grew organically from a time before writing existed, so people were just kind of slowly figuring out how to use pictures to represent words; 2) it lasted for thousands of years, so there were all sorts of innovations tacked on without necessarily jettisoning any of the old stuff; and 3) it was borrowed through quite a few languages, almost none of which were related to one another, so it had to twist around and adapt to totally different sounds and word structures. So it's weird! And hard to learn, especially for us, because we are not native speakers of any of the languages that used it, and also we're not a single person existing in a snapshot of time, where cuneiform had a specific form and iteration - we're looking at its whole span of three thousand years.

THAT SAID. I can explain some stuff about it and how it worked! Here goes!

Part 2: How does it work as a writing system?

We start with a picture. Let's use a star. Like this: 𒀭

Or this:

(this is a student text copying the star sign over and over - ignore the leftmost column. I got it from this excellent thread here)

This is the cuneiform sign for the sky, or for a god. In Sumerian, the language that first used cuneiform, the word for "sky" is AN. The word for "god" is DINGIR. So this sign could be pronounced either AN, and mean sky, or DINGIR, and mean god. This sort of usage is called "logographic" - a sign equals a word. It started as just a picture of a star, and came to mean a couple of things associated with the stars.

Eventually, there reaches a point where it doesn't just only mean the word "sky," it also means the syllable "an." That is, you could use it to represent a part of a word, or a grammatical element, that was pronounced "an." (E.g., ma-ah-ha-an: mahhan, which is a Hittite word that means "when," and which is written with four signs, including our an.) This is called the rebus principle: like a rebus puzzle, a picture of an eye can also mean "I" because they sound the same. This usage supplements the logograms rather than replacing them: you could still use "an" to mean "sky." You know which usage is in play based on context. (Or at this stage, maybe you don't. Sumerian is real hard and we don't understand it perfectly.)

You can also use signs a third way, which is designed to make reading easier: as what's called a "determinative." A determinative tells you what type of thing a word is. So if you use the star symbol as a determinative, it comes before a word and indicates that upcoming is a god's name. It's not pronounced when it's used like that. Other determinatives include: male and female markers, plural markers, markers to indicate what something is made of, what kind of animal it is, etc.

So any sign you see could potentially be a word (logogram), a sound (syllable), or a soundless classifier (determinative). In practice, only some signs take on all three of these functions.

When we transcribe signs now, we write them in Latin script based on which function they're serving. That's why, in the above Hittite texts, some of the signs were written in all-caps (for logograms), some of them in lowercase (for syllables), and some of them in superscript (for determinatives).

So then Akkadian borrows the system. They like to spell words out a lot more than the Sumerians do, so more and more signs are used primarily for their syllables, rather than their meaning. The signs also take on more syllabic meanings, because Akkadian has different words behind the logograms, and also has different sounds than Sumerian. A lot of signs end up doing double, triple or even-more-ple duty (e.g. the sign for "ag" can also be read "ak" or "aq" in an Akkadian text). Once again, you know how to read a sign from context, and in Akkadian you usually actually do know, because Akkadian is a Semitic language rather than an isolate like Sumerian, so we understand it way, way better.

Akkadian keeps using the symbols as logograms, though, too. Sometimes they'll spell out a word, but sometimes they'll just use the logographic symbol for it - like how sometimes we write out "two," and sometimes just write "2". Sometimes there are full Sumerian words or combinations of words that have become logograms: that is, they're not loanwords. They're not pronounced in Sumerian. They're written as a symbol (like 2), and the Akkadian word would be pronounced underneath (like "two.") The Akkadians also keep using determinatives.

At this point, most signs at least have a logographic value and a few syllabic values. Also (to make it extra difficult) plenty of syllables have a couple of different signs that could be used to represent them. In total there's a bit over a thousand cuneiform signs, incidentally, but usually only a few hundred were in use at any given time and place.

Then Hittite borrows it! They actually overall reduce the number of signs used, and the number of signs doing double duty, so it's generally simpler to read. Hittite's sound system is totally different from Akkadian's, though - which is totally different from Sumerian's - so they do some weird stuff with which signs represent which sounds. (The result of this is that our understanding of Hittite phonetics is somewhat imperfect.) They do use a ton of logograms whenever they're talking about physical objects, especially ritual offerings. Ritual texts are A PAIN IN THE ASS to read because they're full up with obscure logograms, and so you pore over a signlist trying to work out what the bonkers twelve-wedge sign you've never seen before is, and then when you finally find it you're like, "oh ANOTHER kind of bread. cool cool."

Part 3: Let's Read Hittite! (This is probably excessive.)

So finally, let's read some together! This is two lines from the Ten-Year Annals of Mursili II, an account of the first ten years of that king's reign. It's mostly conquering, but this bit is calmer.

(ANNOYINGLY, Tumblr will not do superscript, or I cannot make it anyway, so I will put determinatives in parentheses.)

nam-ma (URU)Ha-at-tu-ši ú-wa-nu-un nu (URU)Ha-at-tu-ši

gi-im-ma-an-da-ri-nu-un nu-za EZEN4.HI.A ŠA MU.6.KAM i-ya-nu-un

That's the text rendered sign-by-sign. Everything that is separated by a dash, a period, a space, or a parenthesis is a separate sign. Words are separated with spaces. Here's a more normalized rendition of the words (still with the logograms, though).

namma (URU)Hattusi uwanun nu (URU)Hattusi gimmandarinun nu=za EZEN4.HI.A ŠA MU.6.KAM iyanun

"Then I went to Hattusa, and I spent the winter in Hattusa and performed the festivals of the sixth year."

The ú in uwanun in the first line is written with an accent because there are several signs that can mean "u" and this is the second one. Similar for EZEN4: there's more than one sign for EZEN, and this is the fourth. Scholars always write logograms and determinatives in Sumerian, because that's where the meanings were fixed. URU, used before Hattusa, is both the determinative for "city" and the Sumerian word meaning the same. ŠA in the last line is italicized and capitalized because it's a logogram that comes from Akkadian: "ša" means "of" in Akkadian, and the Hittites used Akkadian words as logograms just like the Akkadians used Sumerian words.

Anyway, that's how cuneiform works! If you made it this far you're a hero! <3

[in1-nutshell]

Hello! Can you do a TFP bot buddy who used to have been Arcee’s childhood best friend (may or may not got a crush on Arcee as well, your interpretation), back when Arcee was so much more cheerful and happy and innocent. However they got separated during the space travel at one point. Eventually, after many years, the said best friend reunited with Arcee back on Earth, but at this point, Arcee had already lost both Tailgate and Cliffjumper, and became much colder and serious. This really confused buddy, for they did not know what happened, but they wished to build back the friendship they shared with Arcee before. However this only annoyed Arcee because Arcee felt like this friend was being a big sparkling, who still didn’t understand the grave mess of the situation (and their actions might be reminding Arcee of Cliffjumper too much she wanted to avoid it). Eventually, at one point when these two were left at the base together, they had a grave argument— of Arcee arguing that Buddy don’t understand anything and was way too ignorant and selfish, and Buddy was arguing that Arcee had became so apathetic and mean like she was a different individual, as though some fake soul possessed her— This resulted in almost a fight between both of them, and Buddy running away from base out of anger. But Miko sneaked up into Buddy’s alt form car right before they left (what Miko does best) and tried to talk to Buddy about the issue afterwards, and tried to persuade them to go back since it’s too dangerous outside. And meanwhile, back at the base, Jack and Raf tried to talk to Arcee

ANGST! Sometimes we need a little sprinkle here and there. Not too much though! This is the first time I am doing one of these with the kids being the center, so this'll be fun!

Hope you enjoy!

Arcee and childhood Bot Buddy getting into a heated argument with Jack, Miko, and Raf

SFW, Platonic, Angst, Hurt and Comfort, Cybertronain reader

TFP

The two friends were at each other’s throats again.

It was becoming more and more of a regular appearance on base between Arcee and Buddy.

The main theme around the fights would end up with Buddy telling Arcee that she was acting too cold and apathetic while Arcee would shoot back telling Buddy that they were acting immature and childish.

“That miner wasn’t doing anything Arcee! He was simply doing his job. He didn’t even have a weapon!”--Buddy

And? He is a Decepticon, something that you seem to have a hard time remembering apparently.”--Arcee

“And apparently the only one who seems to remember what empathy is.”--Buddy

“Empathy?! What empathy can you give to the enemy?! The enemy is out to kill us!”--Arcee

“Not every Con is the enemy Arcee!”--Buddy

“Should we…”--Smokescreen

“I’d like to have all my digits thank you very much.”--Bulkhead

Some of the other bots had tried to get the two friends to back off, but that didn’t end up well.

Just ask Wheeljack and Bulkhead what happened the last time they decided to get involved in the argument.

Two words: Never again.

The kids were no strangers to the arguments either.

When they are around Arcee and Buddy at least have the decency to keep things as civil as possible. But sarcasm and snide remarks were definitely shared.

“Hey, Jack how was school?”--Buddy

“It was pretty good if I do say so myself.”--Jack

“That’s nice.”--Buddy

“Yeah, he even tried to help out some of his teammates with their important projects.”--Arcee

“Really. Well, I hope he didn’t abandon his team mate to pursue some petty remarks.”--Buddy

“The petty remarks weren’t so petty to him.”--Arcee

“I don’t think they’re talking about you anymore.”--Miko

“No kidding Miko.”--Jack

“Just stating the obvious Jack. No need for the friendly fire.”--Miko

Today Jack had to carpool with Miko in Bulkhead because Arcee couldn’t do so. Bulkhead wouldn’t explain the reason further. Raf tried asking Bumblebee what happened, but Bee wouldn’t answer either.

This made the kids a bit anxious.

What was so important that Arcee couldn’t go and pick up her charge?

And if Arcee couldn’t pick Jack up, Buddy was always the back up to pick Jack up, what happened to Buddy?

When Bulkhead and Bee pulled in Arcee and Buddy were standing stiffly in front of each other. Something had clearly happened while they were out.

Arcee was staring intensively at Buddy with a raging fire behind her optics, almost if Buddy was the enemy. She stood on the offense, like a spring ready to shoot out at any second. Her servos were clenched to her sides.

Buddy was a different story. Taking advantage of their size over Arcee, they had straightened up squaring up their shoulders, their servos were switching from clenching and unclenching. They looked like they were standing in the offense but there was something lacking to the posture, but their optics held another story. Their optics held a smoldering fire, not raging like Arcee’s, there was fire, but it was slowly dying down.

The kids quickly got out of the bots as they transformed.

Everything was silent.

“So… that’s what you meant to say all, huh. I should have figured it out myself if it wasn’t for my thick helm, like you said.”--Buddy

“That’s not what—”--Arcee

“YOU MADE YOUR POINT!”--Buddy

“…”—Everyone

Arcee and Buddy noticing their little audience.

“Buddy—”--Arcee

“Kids? When—how much—I gotta go.”--Buddy

Suddenly Buddy turned around and transformed, weaving in between their pedes and raced out of the base.

Jack and Raf looked at Arcee who suddenly looked in shock and tired. A familiar look of despair appeared on her faceplate as she retreated to the elevator, presumably to the rooftop.

“That happened.”--Bulkhead

“Beep bep bep… bop (I’ve never heard Buddy yell before, it was… unsettling.)”--Bumblebee

“You said it, Bee. I’ve never heard Buddy yell like that either.”--Raf

“I didn’t even know they were capable of yelling like that.”--Jack

“So, what are we going to do now.”--Bulkhead

“I’m going to see what happened with Arcee.”--Jack

“I’m coming too.”--Raf

You sure?”--Jack

“Absolutely.”--Raf

“Good luck with that.”--Bulkhead

“You guys aren’t coming too?”--Raf

“…I’m not messing with their arguments after what happened last time. I’d like to keep my digits on my servos thank you very much.”--Bulkhead

“Bep bop beep beep bep (I have patrol now, so I won’t be able to see what’s going on, yet.)”--Bumblebee

“I guess it’s a job for the three—wait where’s Miko?”--Jack

“…”--Bulkhead

“Beep bop (The tingle?)”--Bumblebee

“The tingles back.”--Bulkhead

“Hang on, I can quickly search for her signal from her cell phone.”--Raf

“Where is she!?”--Bulkhead

“Calm down Bulkhead, it’s not like she’s outside the base. The groundbridge hasn’t been activated so she couldn’t have run through there. Miko can run but she can’t run that far.”--Jack

“Miko’s outside the base going at a constant speed of 55 miles per hour.”—Raf

“…”Bulkhead

“Bop boop bep (I don’t think normal humans can go that fast.)”--Bumblebee

“Wait Buddy’s signal is with Miko’s signal… Jack, you don’t think she…”--Raf

“Jumped into Buddy’s alt mode before anyone noticed? Yeah, that sounds like something she’d—Bulkhead? You, okay?”--Jack

Bulkhead looking like he’s about to have a mental crisis.

“Bop bep boop (I’ll get him to Ratchet if things get worse.)--Bumblebee

The two humans then decided to go find Arcee.

The two found Arcee on top of the base sitting next to Cliff’s grave. Her pedes dangling from the rocky edge swaging slightly as the afternoon breeze began to pick up.

“Jack? Raf? What are you two doing up here? Did something happen?”--Arcee

“Nothing happened. We were just worried about you and Buddy.”--Jack

“Hmm.”--Arcee

“You two have been fighting more than usual and this was the first time Buddy’s actually left the base. What happened?”--Jack

“It’s none of your business Jack. Its… old friend stuff. You wouldn’t understand.”--Arcee

“We might not be able to understand, but we can try to understand and listen to you. What do you say?”--Raf

“…”--Arcee

“Please?”--Raf

“…I am going to murder your guardian for teaching you the puppy optics trick.”--Arcee

Jack secretly high fives Raf behind their backs.

“…The war changed all of us. Not for the better for some of us. A lot of us lost a lot, seen the lost. But Buddy… Buddy in a way got it easier than us. Buddy got sent off the planet before Cybertron went dark on an expedition and somehow managed to trip into a stasis pod. They didn’t wake up until we sent that call to the ship.”--Arcee

“Oh yeah, wait how does someone accidentally put themselves in a stasis pod?”--Jack

“Talent.”--Arcee

“Oh okay.”--Jack

“Buddy still has that same hope from the earlier days of the war. A bit clumsy too…Today we ran into Arachnid… She got Buddy in one of her traps… Buddy offered her mercy after they got out… I’m not going to lose one of the only friends I have left because they are too careless for their own good.”--Arcee

“Well Buddy does have something right though.”--Jack

“Like what?”--Arcee

“Sometimes the bots working for the bad guys aren’t really bad themselves. Maybe they were forced to.”--Jack

“Buddy is just offering a bit of peace during the hard times, like what they do with us when we have a bad day. Its never not okay to be nice, even if you aren’t going to get the niceness back.”--Raf

“Hmm… when did you two get so smart?”--Arcee

“A lot of reading for AP classes on philosophy.”—Jack

“Homework.”--Raf

“Ha…”--Arcee

“Maybe now you two can have a talk about what happened?”--Jack

“Yeah, if I didn’t drive them away.”--Arcee

“Oh, don’t worry about that. Buddy is going to come back.”--Jack

“And how do you know that?”--Arcee

“Because Miko jumped into their alt mode. Buddy is going to have to come back to at least drop her off. That’ll be your chance.”--Raf

“Wait Miko did what?”--Arcee

“She’ll be fine.”--Raf

Meanwhile with Buddy…

“Hey Buddy can you turn up the—”--Miko

“SWEET BEARD OF ALPHA TRION! MIKO?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! HOW DIDN’T I FEEL YOU GET IN? HOW DID YOU EGT IN?!”--Buddy

“Calm down already.”--Miko

“I’LL CALM DOWN WHEN MY SPARK IS NOT GOING TO BLOW UP LIKE A SUPERNOVA IN THE NEXT COUPLE OF NANOSECONDS!”—Buddy

Now it was Miko’s turn.

After Buddy was sure that their spark was going to explode, they parked in an old lot to rest. They wanted answers.

“So, what possessed you to think that jumping into my alt mode was such a good idea? Wait, does Bulkhead know you’re here?”--Buddy

“…Maybe?”--Miko

“Oh Primus…”--Buddy

“I hopped in cause you looked like you needed a friend.”--Miko

“You risked getting hurt by launching yourself into a moving vehicle and the chance of me transforming without warning potentially crushing you.”--Buddy

“Yep!”--Miko

“…You truly are a Wrecker, huh.”--Buddy

“One of the best.”--Miko

“Well… Some words were said today that were a bit harsher than usual.”--Buddy

“No joke.”--Miko

“I know I’m nothing like ‘Cee. In some ways I do. I’m too childish sometimes, but sometimes you need that you know. So many Bots and Cons have fallen in this war because no one has any more empathy and are willing to listen and compromise. I show my kindness to the ‘enemy’ because they have a life too! I’ll fight for self-defense, you know that.”--Buddy

“Yep, Wheeljack isn’t going to forget that.”--Miko

“I hope not.”--Buddy

“He won’t. Trust me.”--Miko

“It’s just… I can’t stand a bot who is willing to be so apathetic at the loss of someone’s life when it could have been prevented. Even if it is a horrible Con. Sometimes the simplest thing will change someone’s mind about their entire life.”--Buddy

“I get it, but also Arcee has lost a lot of partners from what Jack’s told me. I wouldn’t want to lose my friend either if there was danger all around.”--Miko

“… When did you get all smart?”--Buddy

“Don’t tell the others… I’ve been reading some of the books Jack has to read for his classes, some of the stuff may have stayed in my mind.”--Miko

“Your secrets safe with me. Now c’mon we gotta get back to the base.”--Buddy

“You’re not leaving us, right?”--Miko

“What? No! No, I wouldn’t leave you guys over something like that. I’ll just have a chat with Arcee and hopefully things will turn up for the better.”--Buddy

“I bet they are.”--Miko

“And how are you so sure.”--Buddy

“Call it Wreckers instinct.”--Miko

“I thought you said Wreckers instinct was smash anything that moves?”--Buddy

“It can have multiple meanings.”—Miko

The ride back to the base was filled with chatter and a bit of nervous energy. By the time Buddy and Miko had arrived at the base everyone was returning from their evening patrols.

Bulkhead looked so relief when he saw Miko hop out of Buddy as they transformed.

Arcee looked at Buddy from next to the platform where Jack and Raf were.

The two friends looked at each other before Buddy motioned Arcee to the other room. Arcee followed behind Buddy as she closed the door allowing them more privacy.

There was talking behind the door. No shouting or screaming, which could have been either a good sign or a bad one.

“It’s getting quieter than before.”--Bulkhead

“…20 imaginary shanix that Arcee is hiding Buddy’s body in a closet.”--Smokescreen

“Smokescreen!”--Bulkhead

“Beep bep bop bep… bep beep (That’s awful!... 21 imaginary shanix that Buddy is hiding Arcee’s body.)”--Bumblebee

“Not bad… 30 that they took the fight out of the base through a secret passage.”--Wheeljack

“What is wrong with you three?”—Bulkhead

“50 imaginary shanix that they are actually talking like civil Bots.”—Ratchet

“Even you Ratchet?”—Bulkhead

After some time, the two emerged from the room looking tired yet happy.

The kids got brownie points that day from the two bots.

“Huh? I guess they did talk it out.”--Bulkhead

“Pay up.”—Ratchet

“I’m going imaginary broke…”—Smokescreen

“Beep bep bop (Then stop betting on loosing battles.)”--Bumblebee

“You lost too!”--Smokescreen

[cyberrose2001]

TFP Optimus x human!fem!reader

"ROSE I'M FREAKING OUT AAA I LOVE YOUR WRITING!! I am currently watching Prime so reading your Optimus fluff made my heart skip a beat! May I ask for more Optimus x reader (in a female perspective) fluff, and in a common situation like preparing for something humanly important (a ball perhaps)?? I don't got too many ideas but I would love to read anything coming from you! Please stay well 🌹❤️" - requested by @weaksall

Thank you so much!! This was such a cute idea! I found this amazing dress that I think is just gorgeous for this fic -> https://www.pinterest.com.au/pin/706713366535507663/

I also didn't specify any hairstyles too because not everyone has long hair that they can style <3 I hope this is satisfactory!! 💕

Warnings: None! Just fluff

Word count: 1618

Today is a rather important day for you. Your work is hosting a gala ball to raise money for charity, and you are required to attend. You had never been to a ball and the thought of picking out grand outfits to wear and accessories has always excited you. Miko, of course, wanted to help you go shopping at the small selection of boutiques that Jasper has to offer. She may be into the alternative type of fashion, but the young girl has a passion for all types.

“Oh! What about this one, (Y/n)?” Miko drags you by the arm towards yet another boutique. You almost stumble as the stacks of boxes you’re holding pretty much blind your vision.

“Miko!” You laugh, “I think I have enough dresses to last me the rest of my life.”

“Oh, come on! You never know when you need…” She pauses to count the boxes in your hand, “Four, five…. eight outfits!”

You roll your eyes as you let her drag you into the boutique. Looking around, you don’t see anything that catches your eye. However, Miko is practically running around the joint pointing at different dresses and sending your mind for a spin.

“Miko, let’s just go.” It was your turn to drag her through the shop, as much as you love her, if you spent another hour dress shopping with her you were sure you would lose whatever brain cells you had left.

Before you could drag a sad Miko out the door, you spotted a gorgeous navy-blue ball gown that sparkled like the night sky. It had a heart shaped neckline with lace trimmings around the edges that tapered off to create a small off the shoulder sleeves. And by the all spark, you had to have it.

Miko followed your eyes towards the gown, and she grinned, “Do you want to try it out?”

-

It had been a week since Miko accompanied you to the boutiques and today was the gala ball. You had set up a small makeup station in the human area of the base, Miko of course going through it all trying to find the best shades of eyeshadows and lipsticks to use and making a mess.

“Alright, (Y/n),” Miko held out two sticks of lipsticks, “Purple or blue? Oh! What about GLITTER? OR- “

You wished you could rub your eyes in frustration, but you didn’t want to ruin your foundation, “Miko, sweetheart, how about a nice neutral shade? It’s a gala not a drag show.”

Miko dramatically tosses the lipsticks back into the makeup bag, “Yeah but you would look so cool!”

As you were applying your contour, blush and the colours of the eyeshadows that Miko picked out for you (they were colours you liked thank goodness), Optimus Prime had walked over towards the human area, curious about the commotion.

“(Y/n),” He looks around at all the different things that are scattered around on the floor, “May I ask what this is all for?”

You froze. You had not expected the boss bot himself to ask about makeup, Arcee maybe, but not Optimus. It doesn’t help the fact that you have been in love with Optimus since you first met him, but the way his eyes fill with curiosity as he asks the question warms your heart a little bit. You exhaled and placed the makeup brush you held in your hand down.

“Today is a really important event for my job, they’re hosting a huge charity gala to raise money to help sick kids.” You explained as best as you could to the bot, but you could read his face and tell that he was still a little bit confused.

“A… gala?” He raises an optic ridge.

“Yeah, it’s like a really fancy party.” You smiled, “You get to wear nice clothes, socialise with other people and- “

“And there’s LOTS of fancy food!” Miko butted in, “I’m talkin’ seafood, barbeques and sooooo many desserts…”

Optimus glances towards the young girl, then back to you.

“So, this gala,” He begins, “It is a culturally significant gathering for humans?”

You nod your head, picking up the makeup brush again, “Yeah, it’s a way for humans to come together for a cause, or just to have fun and make friends!”

Optimus hums and that makes you seem to think that he is satisfied with your answer. He watches as you delicately swivel the brush over your eyelids, admiring the movement of your hands. Your focus may be on the mirror, but you can feel his eyes on you.

“You mentioned nice clothes,” Optimus says, “Are you planning to wear something… ‘fancy’?”

“You don’t get to see that yet!” Miko perks up, she then grabs two lipsticks and holds them out to Optimus. “But you can help (Y/n) pick a lipstick colour, she doesn’t like MY choices."

You can feel your face heat up as you watch Optimus’s optics flicker between the two lipsticks with a raised optical ridge. You really do hope that Miko knows what she is doing.

-

It was noon, you and Miko had just finished the last touches and adjustments to your gown. You had brought a large mirror to the base so you can fully see yourself in the reflection, safe to say that you looked like a literal princess. Miko jumps up and down as she admires her work.

“(Y/n)!! You look so beautiful!” Miko squeals as she pulls you into a hug.

“Thank you, Miko.” You laugh at her energy, hugging her back. One would think that you were getting married by the way she reacts to you.

“I can’t wait to see what Optimus thinks of you.” She grins. You pull her out of the hug and give her a confused look.

“What do you mean?” Your heart is racing fast, “Why would Optimus care about how I look?”

Miko gives you a dead-panned stare, dropping her arms to the side, “Are you kidding me? Have you seen the way he looks at you, (Y/n)?”

Of course you have, but you’ve always thought that those were a different kind of stare, not because he… likes you.

“No," You lied, staring at yourself in the mirror again, “Even if he did, I doubt that he would have time for me, he is the leader of the Autobots… he has enough on his plate as it is.”

Miko rolls her eyes and leans against you, “Don’t sell yourself short, he is gonna faint when he sees you.”

She then takes your hand, dragging you out of the room, “Come on, it’s nearly time to leave anyway.”

You let her drag you out, what Miko said is now engraved into your brain and is now on a constant replay. Have you seen the way he looks at you?

Whilst you were distracted by the thoughts in your head, Miko had stopped you just before the door to the main area of the base, “Wait here, I’m gonna go and make sure that everyone is ready.”

“Ready for what?” You tried to question her, but she shushed you as she ran off. You’re awkwardly standing there now, occasionally fluffing your gown. You haven’t the slightest clue on what she is up to.

A few moments later, Miko calls out, “Ok (Y/n), come out now!”

You take a deep breath as you walk out, holding you gown to keep it from dragging on the floor. Your heart is practically jumping out of your chest.

You walk out to a crowd consisting off all of team prime, some are stunned to silence, and some are cooing and gushing about how beautiful you look. You decided to give yourself a boost of confidence and give them a twirl, the base of the gown flaring out as you do so.

“Wow, you clean up real good, kid.” Wheeljack nods with folded arms. Bumblebee and Bulkhead (with Miko perched on his shoulder) are practically swooning, Arcee is admiring your hair and makeup, Smokescreen is telling you how amazing you look, and Ratchet is scoffing about how silly this all is, but secretly he thinks that you look nice. Jack and Raf are also enamoured.

Optimus, however, is simply stunned to silence. His dermas slightly agape and a blue hue ever so slightly creeps onto his face. He loves the way the gown flows and the small intricate details on your torso, and he thinks the colour of the dress suits you perfectly. The lipstick he picked out for you was a classic red lip with a slight tinge of purple. And he now understands why humans were obsessed with the stuff; he could not stop staring.

You shyly thanked everyone for the compliments and noticed that Optimus had stepped closer to you and leaned down. You stiffen up a little bit as he held out a servo towards you, he touches the dress very gently.

“You look absolutely exquisite, (Y/n).” Optimus says, optics now staring into your eyes. Your cheeks flush at his words. You then gently took the digit that was toying with your gown and gave it a hug.

“Thank you, Optimus.” You smiled, you were sure that he could feel your heartbeat against his servo, “Do you think the lip colour ties it all together?”

His face flushed as you winked at him and then he smiled, knowing that he was the one that picked it out, “Indeed.”

Off to the side out of view while you and Optimus are sharing a sweet moment, Miko is holding out her hand so that a defeated Bulkhead can hand her an imaginary dollar bill, “Told ya he had the hots for her.”

[nofacednerd]

okay finale thoughts

I don't think they took out any scenes but I do think it's funny that they renamed the title of the episode

hughie's... counter-proposal I guess? was so genuinely sweet that I'm mad it wasn't real

On that. 3rd time in back to back episodes not even 5 minutes in. That's gotta be a record. I thought they were actually going to acknowledge it as assault when he seemingly got very upset about the pegging joke she made and started squeezing the water bottle, but I guess not. My hope is that all the criticism they received while handling all of this, they'll actually take and acknowledge it in the show

Hughie canon bottom but at what cost...........

BUTCHER WITH THE TEMP-V INDUCED WHITE HAIR STREAKS. MY HEADCANON IS REAL

I think it's so funny that Butcher's last wish was for hughie to go to some random hooters in Nevada for him. Part of me wonders if he knew about the stupid Maid in Manhattan tour he went on entirely because it was his dad's last wish and wanted to see what he would agree to if he sounded sad enough about it

Ashley my problematic queen I hope you get to have fucking awesome scary superpowers next season and help take down the supes w the gang

Just. Shoutout to Erin Moriarty for being an insanely talented actress. Love that the shapeshifter just kept biting people as her go-to attack. Fucking knocked it out of the park

Annie choking the shapeshifter to death instead of using her powers felt symbolic somehow but it's 4 in the morning and I can't think about it rn. Good for her either way.

They also never actually explained why her powers just. Stopped working?? I'm guessing it was an emotional thing but I felt like things didn't change THAT much by the end of the season for her to suddenly be charged up enough to fly?

Okay but also. I'm kind of mad that they didn't acknowledge what the shapeshifter did to Hughie was assault and not only that but they had Annie get mad at HIM about it. Like girl hello???? Out of literally everyone I would expect at least Annie to understand, but for some reason they show loves having them have relationship drama that comes from fucking nowhere

That being said, I am SO glad they didn't break up again. That would have fucking sucked. Curious if the engagement thing will ever come up again since she got the ring back. I imagine if it does it'll be the end of the show

Also his little "FUCK YESSS" fist pump to himself. I just need to take a second to appreciate that that was so funny LMAO

I'm not gonna lie... I actually got pretty on-board with the Frenchie Kimiko QPR. aroace Kimiko you still live in my head rent free

I just know. I just KNOW. There's going to be SO MANY tentacle smut fics about Butcher by the end of the week. You horny motherfuckers are going to eat that shit up

Also going to be honest. I'm kind of mad they took out Neuman. She was such an interesting character and I always thought her views didn't conflict at all with the rest of The Boys, so I was really hoping for a redemption arc. She also had such an interesting dynamic with both Hughie and Annie (and Zoe having beef with Kimiko is fucking great). Idk she could have been a fun addition to the group

I was actually kind of excited to see The Boys split off to different countries and have to come back together next season, but I think them all getting kidnapped (and presumably thrown in prisons?) is much more interesting. I kind of hope they let Hughie be the main character again next season now that Butcher has gone off the rails and might? be a villain next season? But I know it's probably going to be Annie

Kimiko speaking I kind of assumed would happen at some point (since they established that as kind of her arc this season with the speech therapy) but I'm excited to see if that goes anywhere next season. I think best case scenario, she has selective mutism and only goes verbal sometimes. They've been pretty good about her disability so far

also speaking of, I've been trying to figure out what her sign for each of The Boys' names are and. is Hughie's supposed to look like someone running away because that's so funny if true (it's hard to tell because the captions are obviously not synced up with the visuals on her signing)

My overall thoughts are kinda... eh. This season ultimately felt directionless to me, too many plotlines trying to happen all at once and while I think individual episodes were really good, as a whole nothing felt super connected (I mean, in episode 6 Hughie was super fucked up over his dad's death and presumably what happened at Tek Knight's party, but episode 7 they just seem to have completely forgotten that he's having an active mental breakdown, a trend that continues into episode 8. And that's just one example from this season). I also think they fumbled the supes' plotline at the very end. I trusted the writers that they actually knew what Sage's plan was, but it mostly just seems like she swooped in at the end to tell us her plan worked, without saying what it actually was. I was hoping there was going to be actual clever writing there, but I guess it's hard to write the world's smartest character if she's only as smart as the writer's room can be.

I understand that, ultimately, it's incredibly difficult to write satisfying arcs with very limited time (this is an issue of streaming in general, not specifically an issue with The Boys), so I don't really fault them for that. I just hope next season is more focused.

The biggest problem with season 3 is, obviously, Hughie getting sexually assaulted three times in 3 back-to-back episodes, with zero acknowledgement (and on one occasion, implied mockery) from the show itself or anyone involved. I REALLY hope they take the criticism and actually make something of it next season, or at least acknowledge that it was fucked up.

Anyway, not a terrible season, but it had a lot of glaring issues. I'm holding out hope for season 5 being good, but it'll be another year or two before we get it anyway, so...

[pet-pet-peet]

Can I’m have the dorm leaders x male reader who have a rare sickness that let him only eat desserts nothing else vegetables meat fruits nothing if he eat will appear strange stain on his skin and start to spill blood over his mouth headcanons

Omg I wish I could eat desserts all the time..

Also, I casually involve Sam because honestly he’s a cutie and no one gives him attention

I am trying to go through my drafts and post the ones I had done, this will not be inspired by canon!

Tw: Description of prior mentioned food sickness/allergic reaction like symptoms

Pairing(s): Riddle, Leona, Azul, Kalim, Vil, Idia, Malleus x male reader who can only eat desserts (separate)

𝕽𝖎𝖉𝖉𝖑𝖊

He thinks it’s a bit odd that you eat so many sweets all the time, surely it isn’t good for you!

He holds an intervention over dinner, where he serves you a healthy dinner for any other human

You look at it, then deny it while you listen to his concerns, which makes him sigh and keep explaining his concern

You tell him about the illness you have, that there’s no way for you to eat anything else, and he seems to understand..kind of?

He definitely asks a lot of questions, since he’s never heard of the such before; but when he’s satisfied, he’ll make sure you have a healthy amount of sweets at your disposal

𝕷𝖊𝖔𝖓𝖆

He’s very confused, but he doesn’t mention it at all; not until he notices that you deny any other food

He’ll ask Ruggie to bring some for you every now and then, and you end up just giving it away to someone else all the time

He’ll ask you why you deny literally everything that doesn’t have a sugar content, and you tell him pretty plainly that you can’t eat anything other than sweets

He doesn’t really do anything about it after, figuring that if you were lying about it you would cause it to backfire on you eventually

Accepts it more once he notices you don’t have any long-term effects, and you seem to be very healthy so he doesn’t care

𝕬𝖟𝖚𝖑

He’s been through a lot in regards to his weight, so he’s a bit cautious about calories and the kind of food he eats

He’ll probably think you weren’t being very honest with him..so he blended a bunch of stuff together that had nutrients and proteins he thought you needed

The poor thing was so scared when you started coughing blood, and when your skin started swelling and turning red-

Desperate, he takes you to Sam in hopes that he has some sort of cure or remedy in stock; luckily, he did

He apologizes profusely and promises he won’t do anything like that again, getting you all of the sweets you can eat to make it up to you

𝕶𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖒

He never questions you and accepts it at face value, he trusts you completely!

He makes sure the kitchen has all the ingredients necessary to make you whatever dessert or sweet you want to try or that you like

Makes you new desserts to try that he grew up with in the land of Scalding Sands, he likes being able to see how you react to them

Always has a dessert table just for you during his parties

Fine tunes his ability to sniff out poison for anything you can’t eat, too, as an extra precaution

𝖁𝖎𝖑

He’s very sus, but he’ll roll with it if it makes you happy and as long as you don’t seem to be crumbling in front of him

He does at one point do an oopsie, as he’s under the assumption that anything with sugar is okay for you to eat

So he decides to make an extra amount of his morning smoothie, just so he can share it with you!

He also panics, drops his smoothie all over everything when you cough out blood and swell up

Sam coming in clutch again to help a dying boyfriend due to his poor, distraught boyfriend’s mistake

𝕴𝖉𝖎𝖆

He doesn’t question you, either, just shrugs and says he’s fine with it since it’s how it is

He’ll try to do research on it when he can, though; it’s hard to find a lot because of how rare the disease is

He makes sure to keep snacks for you stored in his room when you pull all-nighters together

Might do some research into different desserts you’ve been wanting to try, then asks Trey if he can make them for you

Very supportive, especially since it gives him an excuse to stock up on candy

𝕸𝖆𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖚𝖘

He’s actually surprised; it’s very rare for him to meet someone with a condition he’s never heard of!

Might ask Lilia if he knows anything about it, but that’s an accidental curse as it influences the old fae to start cooking for you-

He likes to eat ice cream with you! It’s his favorite food, and it’s something you can indulge in together

Likes trying your favorite foods, some of them he’s new to since they’re not in the Valley of Thorns

His highlight is always when he’s able to sit under the stars with you, some sort of dessert in both of your hands; it lets him feel like a kid again

[tgmsunmontue]

Where do I know you from? 4/10

Hangster crackfic. There are too many Jakes and Bradleys for Jake and Bradley to be dealing with. Or the Universe is just as fed up with them being blind.

PART ONE PART TWO PART THREE

PART FOUR

                Jake is still trying to not imagine Maverick and Cyclone together, although Three and Five are of course asking more questions. Jake doesn’t know if he’s imagining it, but the rate at which new Roosters are arriving seems to have picked up. Twelve and Thirteen arrive together and they’re both older. Bradshaw still looks good, especially the one in uniform, but the one not in uniform is making a beeline for him, looking worried.

                “Jake. Are you okay? This has to be really fucking weird for you.”

                “Yeah. Very weird.”

                “You’ll be okay. I mean, you time travelled in my universe so –”

                “He what now?” Three, Five and Eight all exclaim, and Thirteen looks a little taken aback at the response from them all.

                “Just Jake travelled… not me.”

                “Nothing freaky happened where I’m from, if that helps…” Twelve states.

                Three and Five, along with Eight who just watches go back to their spreadsheet, asking the two new arrivals the standard questions he’s heard a few times now. Jake has also noticed that the ticks in the naval aviator column are also increasing, although Rooster Thirteen has an asterisk by it. Fourteen has arrived and is listening in horror as DADT is explained to him, because it somehow wasn’t a thing where he comes from. His Maverick and Iceman were together since the Eighties. Which seems to be normal judging by the way Three and Five react, despite them having DADT.

                “A lot of me are naval aviators. Interesting.”

                “Why’s that?”

                “Well, my mom didn’t want me to be a pilot. Seems like I went against that wish in a lot of different universes.”

                “Oh…” Jake says, because he cannot imagine a Rooster that doesn’t fly. “He’s the best of the best.”

                “Have you told him that?”

                “Of course not,” Jake replies, rolling his eyes and Three bumps his shoulder again in a friendly gesture. “I can’t imagine him not flying.”

                “Oh, I fly. I’m just not a fighter pilot.”

                “Same. Mav started teaching me when I was like, fourteen,” Five states.

                Three and Five seem to have a lot in common, even if there is about an eight inch height difference.

                “Hangman. You look good.”

                “I am good…” Jake says automatically, and it feels almost right, but this Rooster, number Fifteen now, is looking at him like he already knows all of Jake’s secrets and he doesn’t know if he’s a fan.

                “Hmm… you are,” Rooster Fifteen says, stepping right up against him and his Rooster would never. He’s pretty sure his Rooster would only help him out of obligation. Or payback for saving his life. “You blush very prettily, but I better leave that for your Rooster to find that out hmm?”

                “You know what, you can go and sit with number ten,” Jake states, pointing to the pool table where he banned Ten to. “I’m sure the both of you will get on great.”

                Of course, there are universes where Rooster is even more confident and walking-sex-on-a-stick, but Jake has limits. And they are being stretched.

                “Want me to go tell him to back off?” Thirteen asks and Jake shakes his head. He kind of likes the way Thirteen seems to be looking out for him, and he doesn’t want to explore why he feels like he needs to do that. Fucking time travel.

                Sixteen arrives with Seventeen. Sixteen is simply in service khakis, looks comfortable entering the Hard Deck. Seventeen on the other hand… Jake’s mouth goes dry. Seventeen is wearing cowboy boots and hat and he looks like a fucking wet dream and Jake didn’t realize this was a thing he had, and he’s sure he actually doesn’t, but on Rooster it’s just too much…

                Because the universe hates him Eighteen walks in wearing an almost identical get-up, but with a whip swinging from his hip and Jake lets out a little whimpering sound, holds out his hand and makes a grabby gesture to Six for another drink. Fortunately Six is forthcoming and Jake throws it back gratefully. Two Roosters dressed like cowboys. Not just dressed like it but they also seem comfortable and capable and Jake cannot cope with this.

                “Oh. Now there is a look I wouldn’t have thought I could carry off, but I look good…” Ten says; he and Fifteen have come to watch the door, because the door does not even close before another Rooster is walking through it, which is why they’re almost arriving in pairs now; one of them sometimes holding the door for the other. He’s starting to lose track of who is who, the number of identical uniforms and almost identical faces making the job a lot more difficult. Three and Five are also starting to look a little overwhelmed, which he doesn’t find reassuring at all.

                “You said you know your Bradley. I think we should maybe either get him to come here or we go to his place.”

                “How am I meant to transport twenty people?”

                “Hound isn’t around?” Rooster Nineteen, maybe, asks, eyebrow raised in question and Jake shakes his head.

                “Who the fuck is Hound?” Jake asks, because it sounds like a callsign.

                “Just my Universe then…”

                “Apparently.”

PART FIVE

[secondjulia]

Dessert

Oh my god... it that 1.2 seconds of Ferdie getting felt up in Silo that can fuel an entire Dreamling fic?! It is? It is!

Rated: M for pretty clear implications Warnings: None Ao3 link

Dream gave a tiny, unimpressed sigh, his eyes flicking imperiously down toward the square of chocolate cake. 

Hob had spent centuries pining after that lordly, impossible-to-please face. And despite his efforts to drag his dignity and self respect into the twenty first century, there was still a small part of his heart (and certainly other places) that leapt to attention at the sight of Dream’s distain. 

Still, it seemed a bit harsh for a simple piece of chocolate cake.

“That was not the dessert to which I was referring, Hob,” Dream said, sounding as disappointed as he had when Hob shared the news of his knighthood.

“Well, the cookies are gone,” Hob said defensively, pushing the plate into Dream’s hand. “And this isn’t half bad. ’Bout as good as you can expect from a work party—“

Hob stopped abruptly as Dream’s free hand brushed his arse. 

Dream’s other hand set the offending cake aside where it might as well have disappeared into the void at the end of the universe. “I wished for… a different sort of sweetness.”

Hob swallowed hard as Dream’s long fingers more firmly explored the juncture at the top of Hob’s left thigh. Dream’s other hand moved to his right side. Hob glanced around at his coworkers milling around the History Department’s atrium in stupid holiday sweaters and availing themselves of the free food and wine. But he couldn’t keep his eyes off his horny boyfriend for long. 

“Dream.” Hob leaned in close and kept his voice down. “Did you learn how to use innuendo?”

Dream scoffed in the lowest, most dignified way a person could possibly scoff. “I am Prince of Stories, Hob. I know how to employ metaphor.”

“Yeah, but you don’t. Not here. Not like that.”

Dream shifted in his seat and pouted. “People’s wishes are… clearer in the Dreaming.” He looked up at Hob in that way he always did when struggling to explain exactly why the little absurdities of the waking world were so absurd. “I may craft stories, but even those things that pass the Gates of Ivory have a clear purpose. The waking world has more rules about what is said and what is not.”

“And you’ve decided to learn the ropes,” said Hob. “Brilliant!”

Dream’s left hand crept around Hob’s backside in what Hob could only assume was retribution for his snark and for underestimating the Prince of Stories. Hob’s breath caught as Dream’s long fingers pressed almost into the crack of his arse. He glanced around again at the lackluster party. It was not nearly crowded or exciting enough for an extended grope by the dessert table to go unnoticed. The front of Hob’s jeans was starting to feel uncomfortably tight. And the smirk that had replaced the imperious expression on Dream’s face said that he’d noticed.

“Perhaps,” said Dream, “with your… instruction… I might learn a great many things about the interactions of waking men.” He gazed up at Hob with a smoldering look which would have been abundantly clear even without the glaringly obvious words and absolutely lascivious tone.

“Yeah,” Hob breathed. “I could teach you a thing or—“

“Robbie! Robbie’s boyfriend!” An exuberant mass of dark hair appeared beside them. A bit of wine sloshed out of a plastic cup and onto Hob’s shoe. “Hello!”

“Hi, Jess,” Hob managed, making a valiant effort to smile in the natural and totally not-intensely-aroused manner appropriate for a work function. He wriggled slightly out of Dream’s grasp. He didn’t know if he should be grateful for the sheer quantities of alcohol academics could put away when they finally got a fucking second to relax. Or if he should be afraid of the tongues that might wag being loosened by it. “This is Morpheus. Morpheus, Jess.”

“Indeed. I hope you are enjoying the festivities,” Dream said, standing. “We are just taking our leave. Ho—Robbie was about to show me to his office. It seems he has left some of his… duties… as an instructor undone.”

“Of course! Holidays are the worst!” Jess rolled her eyes. “Can’t we ever get a break?”

“Never,” Hob said, taking Dream’s hand in a punishing grip, which his lover returned in full. “At least enjoy the food!”

And then he practically marched Dream out of the History building atrium and away from the prying eyes of his colleagues.

“You know I don’t have my own office,” Hob said as they wound through the deserted halls. “Seven other people have the key.”

“Hmm.” Dream looked thoughtful as Hob led him to his office anyway because what else was he going to do with a boyfriend who’d suddenly decided to use his indomitable power of words for such purpose?

When Hob opened his — thankfully empty — shared office, Dream paused in the doorway. Then in a swirl of sand, Dream was suddenly holding a shiny black mechanism.

“What is that?” Hob asked.

“A lock fashioned from the dreams of a master locksmith. No one in waking existence has the key.”

Hob’s breath caught as, in another swirl of sand, a part of the door dissolved into dreamstuff and Dream set the new lock in place and — more sand — reconstructed the barrier. The bolt slid shut with a hard, heavy sound.

And then Hob was being backed into the edge of his desk and there was no mistaking the meaning behind Dream’s questing hands nor the nature of the desert Hob would be serving his love tonight.

[eco-lite]

Volume 7 babyyy let’s go!

(But CW: sexual assault. I do include some quotes related to the assault here since I was recording my thoughts on it at the time.)

First of all, how gorgeous is this cover art?! They looks so good. This might be my favorite cover so far.

“Even now, twenty years later, I still haven’t found my ‘rightful place’” (6). Okay so we going Richard introspection hours. Love it!

“Prologue”

* Blogger!Seigi omg.

* I guess “Iggy” is pretty close in pronunciation to “Seigi” but it seems wild to call him that lol. Also, who is reading this blog???

* Lotus is Seigi’s favorite flower. Got it.

* I wish the blog posts had a different format or typeface than the main text. That would be really fun and easier to distinguish.

* For fuck’s sake, just call him!

* For real though, it is really easy to sympathize with Seigi’s doubts right now. Being in such a foreign place, just waiting around for things to happen. That would make anyone anxious and doubtful of their choice. “When you had too much time on your hands, your anxieties loomed bigger, like shadow puppets hit by the light” (23). Fr fr.

* Jeffrey is ultra-dramatic and mysterious as usual. This is going to be quite an experience.

“Day 1”

* It’s so wild to me that Seigi thinks Richard would tell him to quit his internship if he’s not settling in well. That’s not how I see Richard at all. Shouldn’t Seigi know that Richard would tell him a long story with a message about perseverance, likely with illusions to Richard’s own life that would fly right over Seigi’s head? Because that’s pretty clearly the standard. As always, Seigi is way too in his head.

* Ah, so the mentorship wasn’t supposed to be like this after all. It’s really cute to see Richard getting so indignant and protective of Seigi like this.

* The rapid shift in Richard’s tone once he thinks Seigi is distracted/being disingenuous gave me fucking whiplash.

* NOT Seigi blocking Richard from view of the staff guy who’s giving interested glances at him. 🫢

* Bro this is crazy. Who is this mysterious other British man? What’s his past with Richard? It’s so bad that Richard is drinking alcohol?? Living for the drama.

“Day 2”

* Richard wearing sunglasses inside? Uh oh, he got fucked up last night.

* Seigi once again defending Richard from the male cruise staff. At least Richard seemed to appreciate it.

* “Richard chuckled when he saw the fraught look on my face. I always thought he sounded a bit like a pigeon when he laughed like that” (77). Wtf why is that adorable?

* Ooh a rare Richard swear!

* Okay so whatever Richard doesn’t want Seigi to see at the jewelry showcase has to do with the darker sides of the world of gemstones. What have you gotten yourself into, Richard?

* I actually feel physically ill. Now it’s very clear why Richard didn’t want Seigi to be here. I didn’t think the “dark” aspects were going to hit quite so close to home. Seigi is focusing only on Karlsbrook because he’s filled with rage, but I really need to get a check in Richard rn please. OKAY SHIT, Richard keeps brushing Karlsbrook’s arm off his waist but he is not getting the hint. What a CREEP.

* This is genuinely so hard to read. I am right there with Seigi, struggling to restrain myself from doing something rash to (metaphorically) destroy this man. And there are so many bystanders doing nothing. God, this is painful.

* “‘I love beautiful things. I want beautiful things. I don’t want anything but beautiful things. And in that respect, nothing could be more desirable to a collector like myself than you’” (98). I’m going to fucking throw up. This is explaining so much about Richard’s trauma around compliments of his beauty. This blatant objectification is vile.

* What the fuck is this Karlsbrook guy’s deal? He clearly would have harassed Richard even if Seigi wasn’t there, but he seemed to do it more gleefully because it was in front of Seigi. What does he know about Seigi and Richard’s relationship? He marveled at the fact that Seigi actually showed up earlier. How did he know that there was a possibility he would? And how does he even know who Seigi is in the first place? This is so fucked up!

* And they’re distantly related?! Bro…

* Okay so if Jeffrey didn’t send Seigi those emails, it was definitely Karlsbrook. Why does he want Seigi there so badly?

* Anddd now he’s being framed for stealing a priceless ring. Okie dokie then.

* “Kindly uncle” is not the vibe I’m getting, my guy. “Stupid, elderly baby doll” is a much more apt description.

* Vince is a great character. He just seems like a nice, chill dude you’d want to hang out with. And I love when a character’s appearance doesn’t match their personality. It gets me every time.

* After Vince goes on a lecture about anime and manga figure 3D modeling: “I cautiously asked Vince if he liked anime and manga, and he politely ignored me. Got it” (151). This guy. What a kuudere.

* This story was just tough. Looking forward to the conclusion tomorrow.

“Day 3”

* Ooh, detective Seigi!

* I’m loving Seigi’s absolute audacity in this one.

* Seigi is so adhd-coded.

* “‘…What happened with that creep?’ ‘Just shut up for a bit.’ ‘Okay’” (190). I love their rapport. 😂

* Richard showing up looking gorgeous to kick ass at poker while subtly roasting the VP is so !! He’s truly serving here.

* “The man presenting his merciless flush of hearts had such a beautiful yet indifferent look in his eyes as he stared intently at the man across from him. ‘Shall we continue?’ (193). So cunty!

* “Richard always had fire in his eyes when he got angry. The melanin in his irises gave their blue a sort of undulating wave pattern, and when I looked at him, I got goosebumps. It made me feel like I’d laid eyes on something no mortal should ever see” (193-194). Seigi is in so deep, bro.

* “‘Thank you, Ricky. Not even Raphael’s Madonna is a match for the beauty of your fingers manipulating those cards. I wish you would use those fingers to toy with me.’ ‘My apologies, I’ve been suffering from some temporary hearing loss and did not catch what you just said.’ After replying with the most refined ‘Like hell I will,’ in history, Richard stepped back and left the two men at the table” (199). 🤮🤮🤮 Karlsbrook is literally a mustache-twirling villain, this is crazy. Great clapback though, Richard. Also, is anybody else so uncomfortable when people call Richard “Ricky?” It feels infantalizing and like such a violation of the image Richard wants to present himself as.

* I just looked up what happened to the Colonel Sanders statue in Dotonbori. Wow… Seigi is not fucking around.

* Why are Vince and Richard having slightly hostile banter right now?? This is hilarious but I feel like I missed something behind the scenes.

* VINCE WAS HIS ASSISTANT????? This is blowing my mind omg.

* AND IT WAS VINCE IN THE BAR THAT FIRST NIGHT??? Wild. Can’t believe Seigi suspected that from hearing his purposefully bad english. Seigi actually is a good detective, and he’s more observant than I give him credit for. How rude to hold out on the readers like that though!

* “‘That was the first time I’d ever felt that strongly that I wasn’t needed somewhere… I’ve never felt such heartache like the moment I realized that I could offer nothing of value to this person who was such a huge presence in my life’” (231). Ouchies. Boy, do I know that feeling. Poor Vince. It’s unfortunate that Vince felt his relationship with Richard was so one-sided. I hope he won’t always be bitter about their relationship. Even if he had said something to Richard back then, I think Richard would have gotten very closed off and defensive, since they didn’t have a super close personal relationship. They’ve both improved in their communication skills since then. And it seems like things are going quite well for Vince now. I wish that funky little guy the best, and I hope he and Seigi end up staying in touch.

* “The beautiful man threw off his jacket about 30 percent more aggressively than normal, rolled up his sleeves, and stood in front of the punching bag. He gave it a fierce one-two punch. Sometimes, humans just get the urge to suddenly practice boxing, and this seemed to be one such time for Richard” (245). I love that we’re getting to see Richard like this. Seigi clearly has seen Richard be more casual around him since he knows how Richard normally takes off his jacket, but I doubt Richard has let Seigi see this side of him before. And I also really relate to getting the urge to “suddenly practice boxing.”

* And then he just leaves looking disheveled?! Bruh. At least stick around to cool off first. 😏

* Thank god the rest of the cruise was peaceful. I’m glad Seigi and Richard got to just hang out after all that drama.

* Ewww Seigi had to endure a hug from Karlsbrook. But I���m so glad that creep got exposed. Hopefully Gargantua actually does good after the investigation into their culture of sexual misconduct.

“Epilogue”

* “But as you might expect if a food for celebrations, it opened with ‘twenty-five eggs,’ so I think I’ll try scaling it down” (251). I just love cute little comments Seigi makes like this. Also very relatable to anybody who follows Pinterest recipes. Who needs to make that much food??

* Richard reads about “unfamiliar grammatical constructions” for fun. This man…

* “There were words that I wanted to say in Japanese and others that felt easier to express in English, but they were both becoming mine. For example, this was something that I wanted to say in Engish. I wish you were here. I wish you were here to eat the food I made. I don’t know if you’ll like it, but I’d be happy if you have it a try. And if I say something ridiculous again, I wouldn’t mind if you got frustrated and scolded me” (263). 😌😌😌 But for real, can we talk about the romance of wanting to tell someone you miss them in their native language?

* Richard being so giddy that he pulled off this prank of showing up unannounced is adorable.

* Seigi’s idea of heaven is sitting in a beautiful garden drinking royal milk tea and eating delicious snacks while talking to Richard. 😌😌😌

* Okayyy and right back into the drama. I guess we’re going to have a teenage girl nemesis now. Not at all what I was expecting. But as always, I’m excited to learn more about Richard’s past!

Although this volume had many tough moments, we actually got a lot of smiley Richard. He seems a lot more comfortable around Seigi than even at the end of the last volume. I’m really looking forward to seeing how their relationship progresses from here. Especially if they’re staying in Sri Lanka together like was suggested at the end of Vol 6!

[2n2n]

Can you explain more or less what the mysteries of time did exactly in this chapter? I honestly got confused

That's fair! Happy to talk about my interpretation of anything. Be aware anyone you ask a question to has their own bias-- it might be helpful to reread the manga from start to finish, to better understand an arc, or look for things that foreshadowed it. I think Iro-sensei is actually remarkably good at regularly summarizing & connecting events!!!!

To start though, I'll try to go pretty chronologically in 'things we know'....

we already know the timeline we've been in isn't 'right'. It does not match up with Tsuchigomori's bookstacks, meaning, events have been tampered with in a way that betrays fate. The Clockkeepers are likely aware of this, too, given their power also deals with chronology.

The Clockkeepers have been-- likely this whole time-- waiting for the inevitable opportunity to understand what is going on. By their nature, they are patient.

Since the Broadcast Club is procedurally going through every Mystery & their Yorishiro, eventually the conflict would come to their door. All they needed to do was wait.

As Kako says, "I am never late". For all of the chaos caused in the school, he's rarely in a rush to fix it, and seems to often allow unpleasant things to commence, without concern for the impact on individuals in that little timeline.

(aside, I wonder what he was thinking when Amane said this, in a previous Trial to concern the chaos before the Severance? Another situation wherein Kako was patient, biding his time, & disinterested in rushing to fix the chaos. This is typical for Kako, it would seem. Akane calls him twisted for a reason...)

So, the time finally comes for the Broadcast Club to target the Clockkeepers. Kako holds a trial in order to study the likely culprits, & narrow it down to a sensible explanation. Between Mystery no. 7, his kannagi, and his yorishiro, and I guess Minamoto Teru, whose family legacy is tied to the God, something is 'amiss', and can explain all of this disarray.

Kako has a pragmatic mind. He is indifferent to how many people suffer, apparently including his own body! He is not angry, he does not lash out at Tsukasa for ripping him or Mirai apart. He's waiting patiently to understand.

In a way, this 'trial' is only a staged event, for Kako to wait for a meaningful piece of information to 'click' everything into place. As Amane and Tsukasa quarrel, he finally has the reasonable explanation for EVERYTHING in this timeline going off the rails...

What is that reasonable explanation?

The timeline has been tampered with by a God-- someone who can apparently act outside of the typical boundaries of human & kaii.

The God appears to be .... a body of water, perhaps? Whatever the case, it is connected to a body of water at the pit of a cavern. Sacrifices were thrown down a pit to this God in Sumire & Hakubo's time.

The Minamoto clan personally governed the raising & managing of these sacrifices in ancient times, so it makes sense Kako had suspected Teru of involvement, hence his inclusion in the trial.

Nene-chan met the withered souls of the past Kannagi beneath the Red House, the Yugi twin's family home.

The Well God beneath the Yugi family home is the same God Sumire & Hakubo's village relied on for safety & protection. If you tuned out of Sumire & Hakubo's story (many did, finding it irrelevant...), go back & reread it all!!!!

which Tsukasa had bonded with & given voice to,

and became merged with Tsukasa, somehow, during his stay in the Red House-- a space outside of time. Something about Tsukasa is different, from all of the other kannagi thrown to the cavernous pit... despite that he intended to sacrifice himself for Amane.

Tsukasa became entangled with it...

Humans historically prayed to this God & made offerings to it. This God granted wishes for a price, just like Amane & Tsukasa do. Aida-sensei recently depicted people praying to Tsukasa in the house, mirroring how people prayed to the God.

Sumire explains the Well God thoroughly in her arc:

Nene-chan also outlines how the Mysteries are some sort of new, alternate solution to relying upon sending sacrifices to the Well God in the Severance:

(the Mysteries themselves meanwhile, are described as being Pillars of God,

and seem to channel their powers from a central God... destruction of the Yorishiro is described by Sakura as "returning the power (to their) original form".

It's possible the Mysteries borrow THE Well God's power using the Yorishiro system, so as the Mysteries are peeled, Tsukasa's God-self sucks it in. This means destroying EVERY Yorishiro, returns 100% of the power to the God-- eventually even unspooling Tsukasa [for some reason, it will also kill Nene-chan, which might mean she also contains a portion of the God, keeping her alive?]. But that's getting into theorizing... so I won't dwell But I kinda say this so you are less confused later?).

Kako, having identified the God's presence within Tsukasa, is now going to go back in time to 'correct' the irregularities.

We see Kako go back in time to the year before the Yugi twin's murder-suicide or as it's often referred to as, shinjuu (lover's suicide). He goes to 1968-- the Yugi died together in 1969.

The Clockkeepers are going to create a new, 'fixed' timeline. They know Tsukasa is housing a God in his body, & has since he was young. They will stop Tsukasa, somehow, from being able to skew events.

We don't know what the new world will be like, and neither does Akane.

Meanwhile... Akane does not actually trust the Clockkeepers:

It would appear as if Akane has instructed Teru to perform some kind of ritual on Nene-chan, perhaps as a failsafe?

Akane has placed his trust in Nene-chan in the past, so maybe he wants to have assets to pull on, in the event the new timeline is in some way, bad for himself or Aoi.

Akane hopes the 'new present' is a good one. He is waiting to see for himself what the Clockkeepers are doing, and if it is actually good for any of them, or only good for themselves.

We know that, typically, when the Clockkeepers tamper with time, they take the memories of those involved in the affairs:

However, at the end of this recent chapter, we see Nene-chan register time has changed, confused & startled by the sudden reset.

which likely means that someone has ENSURED she will retain her memories of the previous timeline. Probably Akane & Teru! Aoi meanwhile, is likely ignorant.

(HOWEVER, it's also possible Nene-chan's high spiritual power alone could enable her memory retention...? Kako mentions high spiritual power could effect such a thing in the first Clockkeeper's arc. Kou's spiritual power is weak, so he's likely to lose his memories, but we don't really have a grasp of Nene-chan's... other than, Teru himself is quite surprised by her ability to bless away the mass cursing in the 'Kegare' chapter)

So in summation:

Tsukasa is confirmed to contain the Well God. The Well God is confirmed to be the ancient God from Sumire & Hakubo's time. Tsukasa is seen by the Clockkeepers as responsible for the timeline we have spent this entire manga in. The entire circumstances of the timeline have NOW been altered by doing something to Tsukasa or Amane in 1968. We are possibly now inside the 'corrected' timeline. Akane is observing this new timeline for irregularities. Nene-chan is also now observing it.

Everything that just happened with the Big Clock, Mitsuba, the chaos in the school, has been undone.

What does that entail? It's my blog so now I can extrapolate for fun-- for FUN!!--

Tsukasa is the reason Mitsuba could even be a simple ghost, and meet Kou as one at all. Does he even exist in this timeline? Will Kou have his old memories? Or would Teru prefer him mindwiped? (Kou was more agreeable & loyal to him before meeting Hanako & Mitsuba, after all)...

If the shinjuu was stopped & Tsukasa alone was plucked somehow, is Amane even no. 7? Is he even dead?

Are we in the bookstacks-recorded timeline? Or is this another timeline? Will we see multiple different timelines as the Clockkeepers try different solutions, or just the one?

is it a good thing, to make it so the shinjuu never happened?

will we, the readers, LIKE IT? or will we be scared & upset, as everything we had observed up until this point is utterly erased?

will Nene-chan recognize this as BETTER? is it what she WANTS?

will we want our original timeline BACK?

Nene-chan once wanted this...

.... but can she confess to 'Hanako', or be with him at all, in this world? Hanako-kun was a mononoke from the 1960s. We don't even know what bizarre events transpired to turn a normal tragic boy into a mononoke, and a School Mystery at that. It's likely never been 'correct' that he be with Nene-chan. That they know each other as teens at all feels like not only a huge fluke, but perhaps an elaborate orchestration (perhaps by someone who wants them to be together, perhaps by someone who can see many timelines and wants Amane's happiness, yet doesn't believe they can personally be loved by Amane directly... perhaps someone who met Nene-chan long ago, 'before' all of this, & knew she could love him, in some sort of space outside of time... hmm... ).

Nene-chan and Hanako-kun bonded as Mystery & his Kannagi, tasked with correcting the rumors flung into chaos by the Broadcast Club. Those are the circumstances they fell in love under.

Isn't it so exciting? We're going to learn so many lessons!!!!!! It's time to be grateful for what we had, MAYBE!!!!

[lgbtlunaverse]

I think i need to explain why this line makes me go so feral

I think the "fine! I'll kill myself after I kill you" line from nie mingjue in chapter 49 permanently altered my brain chemistry and it has something to do with precisely how i got into the mdzs fandom space in the first place.

I've mentioned it a few times but i started watching the untamed in late 2019 right as it was blowing up everywhere and, likely due to a combination of undiagnosed adhd wrecking my ability to be interested in anything for longer than 4 seconds and me very much not being used to the specific style of acting, especially during fightscenes, i never finished it. The only concrete memory i have of it is seeing wen qing's face and meng ziyi completely short circuiting my little gay brain. I remember more of staring endlessly at pictures of her than I remember of the plot. Press F to pay respects.

Flash forward a few years and a friend recommends me a fic writer for an fma fic (the fic riter in question is metisket) and i like their stlye so much i decide to read other stuf they've written. Here we get to our prime suspect: "the one body problem" a genuinely hilarious fic where jingyi gets posessed by wei wuxian like a year before the plot happens and they become awkward brain buddies. 10/10 i loved it (and still do) even though i remember huasiang showing up in my first reading and I, having fully forgotten his name, had no fucking clue what was going on. (Little did i know...)

Anyway flash forward ANOTHER year and I decide to reread that fic, and then the other untamed fic metisket wrote, a wen qing time travel fix it that's also real fun. And then i'm like. huh. that's fun. wonder if there's anything in their bookmarks.

And then, within 20 days, I had read approximately 350 fics. Many of them 100k+ words. I cannot stress enough how much this CONSUMED my brain's ability to do or think about anything else. I now think back to the early days of getting my adhd diagnosis and insisted that while i had pretty much all other symptoms, I did not get hyperfixations. Lol. Lmao, even.

I am mainly focused on wangxian and the junior quartet becuase they are my baby ducklings and i love them. I do come across some 3zun fics and I think huh... this is interesting. But the 3zun brainrot is LIGHT at this point.

The thing about reading more than 350 fanfics is that at some point you kind of piece the plot of the source material back together backwards. Especially because my favorite genre was time travel fix its, where characters relive the whole plot and like to make allusions to all the ways everything went wrong last time.

Because I'm still squarely in my wangxian + juniors (plus a heavy dosis of yunmeng sibling reconciliation) corner here... the feelings on jin guangyao in my fandom corner are. different from where I'd end up soon after. He is my special little guy though, so I do kind of immediatley develop a fondness for him, and I approach my 3zun and early nieyao thoughts specifcially from the assumption that the widespread opinion is that nie mingjue is a fine good guy and jgy is the evil one (I have not seen the bad nmj takes yet. well... I am seeing DIFFERENT bad nmj takes but they're nice to him. In, like, the wrong way. With no solid undertanding of the inherent tragedy at the heart of him that makes him so blorbo to me. But still.) major reactions to the stairs scene as I see them on twitter are "girlboss! He should've kicked him harder 💅"

And the baby jgy apologist in me goes :/ me no likey. And at this point I am also actively seeking out metas and analysis posts so i'm seeing some better opinions than that and getting a halfway solid graps on the themes. wwx and jgy being foils becomes very obvious to me very quickly. So, with my curent understanding of the plot, I go... you know all you people who are like "god i wish nmj would have killed jgy sooner" it uhh... kinda sounds like he'd have died if he did that. If he'd killed him before meng yao had gone off to spy there is a very big chance they'd have lost the sunshot campaign and most of the main cast would be dead. If he'd killed him at the stairs that's... well that's killing your sworn brother, which by the canon's own admission is a universally reviled crime, and jin guangshan could easily take advantage of this by demanding nmj's head in retribution, since he already wanted to get rid of him anyway. He doesn't give a fuck about a-yao of course but he could pretend well enough that he does. And what leg would nmj have to stand on? The jin clan is canonically both willing and able to slaughter entire clans for the murder or attempted murder of the leader or his family, and nie mingjue is the kinda guy who'd immediately offer himself up if it meant the rest of his clan would be spared.

This combined with jin guangyao specifcally dying for his murder of nie mingjue, with huaisang basically not caring much about everything else he does and wanting to get revenge only for his brother, it gives nieyao a sort of mutual doomed soulmates feel. For either of them, killing the other would spell death for themselves. They either both die or they both live, one cannot live on without the order. That's crunchy. I like it.

The fire palace though? well, on meng yao's part there is a real argument that if he'd let nmj get killed immediatly instead of dragging it out he wouldn't have been able to get wrh alone and distracted enough to assasinate him, so that's one half of the mutual doom coin, and if nmj had killed him during their fight there he's also done for. But after? Right before Xichen intervenes? I had no answer for that yet.

(You know what's coming. I did not)

It is at this point that i realize that if this is gonna keep being A Thing then i need to read the source material before I catch fatal fanon poisoning. Yes, I can piece together the plot and themes from seeing what stays consistent across fics and what are the author's own opinons. But I know just as well that sometimes fanon just agrees on shit that didn't happen and treats it like canon, and I have no way of knowing which is which. So I start reading the novel.

And of course, eventually I get to the empathy sequence. And remember, my "nieyao both live or both die" theory is heavy on my mind at this point, and the only stickler is that nmj could sort of have killed meng yao after the confrontation with wrh, still believing meng yao was actually working for him, and not a spy, and get off... not scott-free, Xichen won't be happy, but it's not gonna cost him his life.

And then I read THIS.

Please Imagine dropping a whole block of pure elemental sodium into water. Except the sodium is this quote and the water is my poor little delicate brain. Not only is my theory right, it is ten times more unhinged than i thought it was.

And considering that Nie Mingjue does not seem like the kind of guy who'd consider something like a life debt to have an expiration date, and because after this he will link himself legally and socially to jin guangyao as family and declare that one among their brotherhood turning against the others is to be met with a painful death, I can no longer read the scene at the stairscase in jinlintai without the impression that he is still planning to die afterwards. Which, if you wanted to make that scene even more painful, this is a very efficient way of losing all your remaining hinges.

I think I'd have gone crazy about this line no matter what context I heard it in, but this one specifically? where I'm already obsessed with idea of nieyao's deaths being connected by the narrative and missing just this one piece and having it confirmed? out loud? from one of the characters himself? It's like giving cocaine to a baby.