#batdr incorrect quotes

[harveyb-wabbit92]

Valley, sees her grandfather inspecting a peach: Wait, you can still eat?

Sammy: What kind of question is that?

Valley, flustered: I just thought... Cos ya d-don't have a mouth.

Sammy: What are you on about? I have mouth.

Valley: Hm?

[Sammy moves his mask aside as Valley watches aghast as a smile like slit slowly forms on his featureless face revealing a gaping maw full of shark like teeth, she then watched with morbid curiosity as her grandfather eats the entire peach in one go before spitting the pit out.]

Valley, stares at Sammy stunned:....

Sammy: ....What?

[crooked-empire]

Ink Bendy: it's time... Your road is broken- *trips over and falls*

Director: CUT! *sighs* Let's go from the beginning all over again

Audrey: *sticks her legs back like Lego pieces* Man, I need a coffee

[damianwaynewife]

*Jason falls down the stairs*

Y/n: ....

Y/n: Are the stairs okay?

Jason: ....Well damn, if you hate me, just say so

[jdstudios-incorrect-tweets]

[inkand-stuff]

Jack: if you took a shot for everytime you did something horrible in life, how drunk would you be?

Henry: I'd be a bit tipsy.

Tom: I think it would be smart if I didn't answer that question.

[Sammy and Joey look at each other]

Sammy: I don't know about you but I'd be wasted

Joey: that's cute, I'd be dead.

[little-buzz]

Audrey: Bendy, quit being feral or I'm taking away your drawing privileges. *She promptly points to the several pieces of artwork sprawled about her desk*

Bendy: *He pauses from continuously spinning on a vacant wheelie chair, while throwing a bouncy ball up and down* >:O And you people call me an ink monster!

[batfamilyproblems]

I have a feeling this isn't the first time Damian has brought home a friend... 🐕

[sammy-lawrence-child]

Joey: Welcome to our studios first get to together! What’s been bothering you guys lately?

Grant: Your spending

Sammy: Your damn machine

Henry: Our work schedules

Norman: Our working conditions

Susie: Your lying

Wally: Your ink

Joey:

Joey: Ok that’s enough get together time! Back to work everyone!

[knightinink]

Incorrect batdr quotes but it's the Ink siblings

*Inky & Bendy are separate here, just because it makes for funnier scenarios (& I may or may not have been really invested in fanfics where they are too)

Audrey: What’s it like being tall? Audrey: Is it nice? Audrey: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?

Inky: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want.

Bendy: It was one time!

-

Audrey: What makes you think it's okay to watch Hannibal given its subject matter?

Bendy: Sometimes, I watch television shows for entertainment purposes.

Inky: Because I condone murder and cannibalism.

-

*Something crashes*

Audrey: Shoot-

Bendy: *running into the room in a panic* WHAT FELL?!

Inky: *walking by the room calmly* What died?

-

Bendy: Hold on! I’m having one of those things... a headache with pictures.

Audrey: What the fuck?

Inky: He’s having an idea.

-

Bendy: Why does everyone want to kill Audrey?

Inky: Because, goddamnit, have you seen her? Her neck looks so snappable.

-

Bendy: Have I ever told you that I love you with my whole heart?

Audrey: For the love of all that is holy, I am not taking you to McDonalds. It’s 2am!

Bendy: Mean.

-

Bendy: Can we go out to get icecream?

Inky: Did you ask Audrey?

Bendy: She said no.

Inky: Then why did you ask me?

Bendy: She’s not the boss of you.

Inky, internally: It's a trap, it's a trap, it's a trap.

-

Inky: Why is Audrey making me do the dishes again? You haven’t washed them in a week, Bendy!

Bendy: It’s because I’m Audrey’s favorite.

Inky: I hate you.

-

Store Worker: Would an “Audrey Drew” please come to the front desk?

Audrey, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker, pointing to Inky and Bendy: I believe they belong to you?

Inky and Bendy, simultaneously: We got lost.

Audrey: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me—

-

Inky: Some people are like slinkies.

Audrey: What?

Inky: Not really good for much but bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.

Audrey:

Audrey: Please don't push Bendy down the stairs.

Inky, pushing Bendy down the stairs: Too late.

-

Audrey, to Inky: Why is Bendy not talking?

Inky: I'm playing the silent game with him.

Audrey: Well, then you just lost.

Inky: I lost two hours ago. I gave him ear plugs and told him to close his eyes. It was the only way I could think of to get him to shut up.

-

Audrey: You are irrationally angry 365 days a year.

Inky: Well, that’s just your personal opinion, I don’t have anger issues. Do you guys think I have anger issues?

Bendy: Well, I wouldn’t really call it an issue. An issue is something you can fix.

-

Inky: Uh, I think I got your lunch. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘I am very proud of you. Love, Audrey’*

Bendy: Oh yeah. I didn’t think this was for me. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘Be good. For the love of God, Please be good.’*

-

Audrey: Self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath or putting on a lot of make up if you like that, or taking a nice warm nap and stuff like that basically.

Inky: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you. self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists. self care is the fear in your enemies eyes.

Bendy: Self care is stealing someone’s birthday cake just to eat the frosting.

Inky: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

[nightmaretherabbitsideblog2]

Joey: I printed up a bunch of fake safety inspection certificates. Go slap one on anything that looks like a lawsuit.

Buddy: Mr.Drew, is that legal?

Joey: When the cops aren’t around, anything’s legal!

[the-nintendo-dsi]

BATIM/DR Incorrect Quotes because I’m bored as ink hell. Spoilers, I guess.

Sammy: This is a very powerful artifact. You’d be messing with some forces we don’t fully understand.

Audrey: That sounds like a dare to me.

Sammy: Oh my god.

Bendy: *shoves their hand in the slot of a toaster*

Audrey: …

Bendy: …I get confused sometimes.

Audrey: Me too.

Cop: What are your names?

Henry: Don't tell them, Joey.

Cop, writing: Joey...

Henry: Crap.

Joey: Nice going, Henry.

Cop:

Joey: Uh oh.

Bendy: *eating a cinnamon roll*

Audrey: Cannibalism.

Bendy: *confused chewing noises*

Audrey: Yes, I'm adopting Bendy and you cowards can't tell me no!

*The squad's reaction to being told they're the chosen one*

Bendy: I will not let you down.

Joey: Sounds fun.

Henry: K.

Sammy: No, I'm fucking not.

Alice: Do I have to be?

Wilson: Please god, I am so tired.

Alice: Met a dumbass today. Awful.

Allison: You looked in a mirror?

Alice: someday you will have to answer for your actions and god may not be so merciful.

[harveyb-wabbit92]

Ink demon, dressed as Santa Claus to Audrey and her friends: You have all been very naughty! Very naughty indeed...

(He briefly shifts into little Bendy)

Bendy: Oh, Except you, Porter. This is for you.

(Bendy reaches into his bag and holds out a gift.)

Porter, opens the present: *gasp* A Pogo stick!

(Porter happily starts hopping around on his new toy while everyone cowers under Ink demon Bendy Claus.)

[crooked-empire]

Wally: I know this situation is hard for all of us, but I'm sure we can all come to a-

Sammy: oh, shut up! You swallowed the key to this place!

Wally: ... Shawn dared me to

Shawn: in my defense, we were left unsupervised

[thehyperrequiem]

Charley: I'm Uno!

Barley: I’m Dous!

Edgar: and I'm Quatro!

Henry: What happened to (Carley) Tres?

Charley: We do not speak of Tres..

[jdstudios-incorrect-tweets]

[sillyvisioncorner]

Syndicate/Broken Loop AU! Incorrect Quotes

Wally: I'm gonna get my pilot's license. I've already got a driver's license and a cosmetology license, that's two of the big five licenses. Norman: The big five licenses? Wally: Driver's license, cosmetology license, pilot's license, fishing license, and… license to kill! I can't wait to get that one.

Susie: I can do anything I put my mind to. I once figured out Allison's phone number just by choosing random numbers.

Amy: I feel like I have died and gone to heaven. Sammy: I have that dream, too, but you go in the other direction.

Bendy: Why don't humans have a specific noise that means "there are bees here, let's leave immediately." Why are elephants more advanced than us. Wally: We do have a specific noise for it. It sounds like this: Wally: "There are bees here, let's leave immediately."

Henry: I came out here to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now.

Amy: Arson? Oh, you mean "crime brûlée".

Henry: We’re all in this together. If one of us falls, we all fall. Nobody is expendable on this team. Sammy: Sounds fake but ok.

Susie: Come on, Norman. Nobody actually believes that Sammy is in love with me. Norman, to The Squad: Raise your hand if you think that Sammy is helplessly in love with Susie. *Everyone raises their hand* Susie: Sammy, put your hand down.

Norman: Lol. Heads up if you try to make a candle with food colouring, the food colouring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food colouring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you’ll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food colouring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this. Allison: What did you do Norman? Norman: a Mistake.

Susie: Can I have some water? Henry: *starts chugging his water bottle* Henry: *chokes from drinking too fast* Henry: *spills water all over himself* Henry, coughing: I don't have any water.

Allison: If you got arrested what would be the charges? Bendy: Theft. Tom: Disturbing the peace. Sammy: Aggravated assault. Henry: Arson. Amy: All of the above. In that order, probably.

Wally: I don't know, it's not my cup of tea. Bendy: Well then whose is it? Wally, staring at a cup of tea: I don't know!

Amy, sniffling: Calm down, I’m probably not sick. It might just be allergies. Sammy: Okay, tell me this: are you like, really tired? Amy: I have depression, what do you think?

Allison: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare. Amy: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great. Allison: Not when you’re playing with Norman, it’s not. He put words like “ephemeral” and I put “dog.”

Henry, pointing to Bendy and Sammy: Distract them! I'll be right back! *leaves* Tom: Okay! *five minutes later* Henry: *returns and sees Bendy and Sammy unconscious on the ground* What did you do? I said distract them, not knock them out! Tom: There's just no pleasing you sometimes.

Sammy: YOU CHEATED! Amy: So did my dad, but hey, my mom knew it all and even sorted out their wedding, so what’s the problem? Henry: I… can confirm that that actually happened.  Sammy: …What.

Wally: Hey, Allison you're smart, tell me what would happen if I chugged 3 gallons of chloroform. Tom: Have you ever been to a mortuary? Wally: Yea, my grandma lives there. Norman: That is the worst response to that question.

Amy, looking at her watch: It has been 2 hours and sixteen minutes since I’ve been insulted. Amy: It’s been about 5 seconds since I’ve been assaulted, but let’s not talk about that.

Allison: There's something I have to ask about you-know-who. Wally: Voldemort? Allison: No. Wally: Is it Voldemort? Allison: It's not Voldemort. Wally: You haven’t mentioned wizards once this conversation, so I’m gonna have to assume it’s Voldemort.

Tom: My expectations are low, but they can always go lower.

Norman: Wally... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor? Wally: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned. Norman: Norman: I wrote sanitize, Wally.

Amy: What's this? Henry, hugging Amy: Affection! Amy: Disgusting. Amy: ...Do it again.

Tom: When I first met you, I did not like you. Wally: I'm aware of that. Tom: But then you and I had some time together. Wally: Uh-huh? Tom: It did not get better.

Tom: Tell me a little about yourself. Amy: I'd rather not, I really like this group.

Susie: Hey, quick question. How petty am I allowed to be?

Henry: Susie is okay. Wally: She's okay? She said she was going to break my legs! And don't tell me she didn't mean it, okay?! 'Cause she gave me the mackerel eyes, she meant it! Henry: Wally, Susie threatened me. She's threaten Allison every day. She probably threatened Tom before breakfast this morning. It's what she does. Grow a pair.

Amy: Regular soda is too sweet! Susie: Diet soda has a weird after taste! Amy: No! Ugh, oh my god. Diet soda is THE BEST! It doesn't have sugar! It's SPICY! Susie: It has other weird stuff in it! I'll take REGULAR sugar in my REGULAR soda! Amy: It's SO SWEET like it's a dessert though! Diet feels more like a drink! Susie: I'm going to physically attack you. Amy: Which is better, Sammy? Sammy: Oh, I usually drink water! Susie: Wha- NO! Amy: DISGUSTING!