#but I'm afraid its going to get worse before it gets better

[shandy-and-champagne]

It always got me how, right from the beginning, Will is depicted as doing exactly the right thing. The thing that you would usually be yelling at the screen for the characters to do when they're being stupid:

He's honest with Mike, when he sees the monster he abandons his bike and runs, he locks the door and puts the chain on, he immediately yells for his mom and Jonathan, he phones 911, and when all else fails, at the age of fucking twelve, he grabs a gun to defend himself. And despite all that, he never stood a chance. We're supposed to root for him. It makes it that much more satisfying when he's saved in the end.

Similarly, in s4 Will is shown to do everything right to help his sister and his best friend. He supports El at school, he argues with her about being honest with her boyfriend, he fights to see her when she gets arrested, spends an entire season looking for her while acting as their relationship counsellor, and when all else fails, he gives his love confession that he'd been holding in for years as hers, because he cares more about seeing them happy than himself. Will resigns himself to suffering in silence for the sake of the people he loves, he thinks he never stood a chance because he feels like he's alone, he feels like a mistake and WE ARE MEANT TO ROOT FOR HIM.

All in all, I think this is just another beautiful way they've set up byler endgame. That mirrored catharsis of Will doing the right thing, only to go through so much undeserved pain, before he can finally live and get what he deserves, will be so very worth it and will make for a great main character arc :')

[toxicanonymity]

i had dream about this lol. reader is naive/innocent/virgin, they know about sex but not much about masturbation. reader tells joel that they’ve been having this problem at night (usually) where they get all hot and achey down there. joel’s like well i know a way you can fix that feeling!! hopefully this isn’t too outrageous, i just love perv!joel lololll

Aches

900 / Joel x virgin!Reader / joel master

✨ prequel: fires | sequel: thoughts

WARNINGS: I8+ mdni, big girthy age gap (20/50s) only one sleeping bag. fingering, grinding. mention of Joel being a girl dad.

You can't sleep.  You scoot your lower body forward and away from Joel's crotch.  

"You okay, sweetie?" 

Not really, but you don't know how to talk to him about it.  You’ve been sharing a sleeping bag with Joel ever since yours was lost in a scuffle.  Joel's is big enough for both of you, but barely.  You’re settled in against him with your head on his bicep trying to get to sleep, but he was poking into you again, and it makes you ache.  The feeling between your legs is so distracting, so overwhelming you can't sleep.  

It seizes you and won’t let you relax, but you don’t know what to do about it.  You’re a grown woman, of course you’ve tingled before, felt the warmth between your legs, thought about sex, hoped to have it one day.  But this aching, throbbing feeling worries you.  It’s so beyond anything you’ve ever felt before.  It's extreme and sometimes it hurts. You worry something has happened to you from sleeping so rough, not having the right products people used to have for their periods.

The feeling is at its worst when his dick gets hard and presses up against you.  That makes you suspect it's sexual. But you never learned how to get yourself off, and it's too late now.

"Um, yeah," you whisper. "I'm okay."

You squirm uncomfortably and dig a hand between your legs just to stay there.  

"What's wrong honey?" 

You sigh. "I just feel funny, that's all. You can't help. It's girl stuff."

"Now, hold on. Gimme some credit. I was a girl dad remember?  You havin' cramps?"  He gently rubs your lower belly, making the throbbing between your legs even worse.  

"No, not like that," you groan.  

He lifts his head up and gets more serious. "What's goin' on, sweetie? Where's it hurt?" 

Your face burns as you start to try to tell him. "In the front between my legs." 

His breath hitches.  "What's it feel like?" 

"It just aches and tingles and feels like a lot of pressure." 

He inhales deeply. "Anything else that goes with it?"

"I get wet," you say. "But I don't think it's like normal. This is really a lot, and I'm afraid something's wrong." 

He's quiet for a moment. "Nothin's wrong with you, baby," he murmurs. "Imma try somethin', okay? Tell me if this makes it worse or better."

"Okay." You're desperate.  Plus, you've been traveling with him for weeks and you're past the point of modesty.

He nestles in behind you and grinds his hard cock into your ass. "Worse or better?" 

"Worse, worse." 

"Okay, now we know what the problem is. It's just tension, baby. Built up pressure. Your body's reactin' to mine."

"Okay. . ."

"Just gotta relieve that pressure. It's okay, we all do it. I can give ya some space if ya want" 

Your heart rate speeds up.  He must assume you know how. "I don't do that," you whisper. 

"Ya gotta. Not gonna go away on its own, sweetie."

"I never figured out how. maybe something's wrong with me"

"Nothin's wrong with ya sweetie." He's quiet for a moment then he strokes your abdomen reassuringly. His hand finds yours between your legs. "Want some help?" He asks. 

"Um, alright." 

You move your hand out of the way and Joel's replaces it, first feeling you over your underwear. He whistles silently when he feels how wet you are. Then he slides his hand into your waistband.  "This okay?"

"Yeah." 

He backs up and urges you to lie down flat on your back.  His hand wedges between your thighs and you move them apart, making space. He watches you watch his hand. He bypasses your clit to wetten his fingers with your arousal. "This okay?" He asks and you nod. 

His middle finger prods at your entrance "can I go in?"  You nod again. 

He scoots up and presses his hard cock into your hip as he swirls his finger, then inserts it to the first knuckle and your mouth falls open with the intrusion. "Real tight," he mutters. 

"What's that mean?"

"Nothin', baby."

He proceeds to insert his whole finger, then adds another.  He slides his fingers through your folds then finds your clit and begins to rub wet circles. "Tell me when it feels right," he says. 

He tries a few angles, speeds, and techniques until one really hits the spot and you say "that."

"Good girl." 

He rubs you just how you like. "Now if you wanna touch your nipple or somethin', sometimes that helps, too." 

You slide a hand under your shirt and lightly caress your breast. You feel your lower belly heating up, you're getting more tense but also feeling so good with his hand between your legs.  He grinds himself into you as he fingers you and watches your spine begin to arch. 

"Come on, sweetie. Let it happen."

You whine from the pressure. "Joel, I - I don't know how"

"Sure ya do, baby just let go, let it happen," his voice is soothing and low. 

You whine again and pinch your eyes shut. 

"I know baby, you're almost there;" 

A few more strokes and you see stars.  You ride massive waves of pleasure and relief. It feels so good you cry. 

"Shhh, it's okay, baby. I got you."  He caresses your face. "You're okay, I got you, sweetie." He presses a kiss to your temple.

SEQUEL: Thoughts

-

Thank you so much for reading. I always love your comments 🥹🙏

If you're into innocent readers, there's more where this came from. . . My ongoing series Left in Lincoln has an innocent, naive, virgin reader. And my master list has a virgin section lol.

-

All Joel: @ethanhoewke @silkiers @eiviea @evyiione @xdaddysprincessxx @queerly-anxious @chernayawidow @ambassadortotrilliusprime @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @jasminespringtime @romanarose  @fandomsfallnomore @djarinxore @lokanda @blackvelveteen1339   @manazo @wolvesandvampires  @taeslarityy @str84pedro @kyloispunk @filthfairy @fieryglutenfreechickennoodles @harriedandharassed @moonlightdivine @worhols @fan-fiction-floozy @cutesyscreenname @weddingfairy @pedropascal-whore @spideysimpossiblegirl

[wolfiesmoon]

Eyes on me

floyd x gn!reader

Its rlly hard writing this w one hand because i had a bit of a medical emergency last night (in fact i'm in the hospital as i'm typing this) but we survive

so imagine my surprise when i got my baby boy floyd in all his basketball glory (as a consolation from the sevens i assume)

long story short this calls for a floyd fic

(also i use the word stadium a lot here, by that i mean a more small, local stadium and not one of those big NBA league ones)

"I told you, I'm not playing." Floyd crossed his arms and pouted like a little toddler. "Floyd. This is an important match. We have no time for one of your tantrums." Jamil tried reasoning with him, but it was all for naught. It seems like Floyd is inconsolable right now.

The coach was very close to losing it at this point. The match was drawing closer and closer and Floyd's mood was getting worse and worse.

The team could already hear the people coming into the stadium.

"What are you even so sad about?" Ace questioned, getting a bit annoyed with Floyd.

"Little Shrimpy promised to come see me but isn't here yet... " Floyd glanced at the people sitting on the bleachers, searching for your face in the crowd. When he didn't see you, his pout increased.

"... That's why you're refusing to play?" Jamil couldn't believe his ears. Neither could anyone else in the club right now. Is this dude really 17 years old? He seems like a bit of an overgrown 5 year old right now.

Well, the coach knew he was taking a risk when placing Floyd on the team seeing as things like this are very likely to happen. All he can do now is hope you actually show up so he won't have one potentially amazing player less.

.

"Oh crap, Floyd's match! I almost forgot!" You quickly got up, startling your classmates. You had to stay with some of them to work on a group project professor Crewel gave you. "Anyone wanna come watch basketball with me?"

A few of your classmates agreed to go while others said they had plans to get to.

And so you went.

"Can't believe you forgot it, idiot." Grim scolded you. "Oh yeah? and who was the one sleeping away in my lap while we had to do all the work?" you shot back and he grumbled something under his breath as a response.

The two classmates going with you huffed in amusement at your reply.

By now, you were already at the entrance to the stadium. You saw Floyd play before at practice and you know how good he can get when he's fired up. But you also know how he can be when the opposite is true.

You just hope he's in a good mood right now. If he isn't, you'll just cheer for him until he is.

You sat down on the bleachers, chatting with your classmates about the project as you waited for the match to start.

.

"Hey, isn't that the Prefect right the-ack!" Ace got pushed away by Floyd who's eyes immediately scanned the bleachers again. When he saw you, his eyes lit up and a wide smile spread across his face.

"Shrimpy is here!~" the sudden change in mood surprised even the coach. Well, he supposes the issue is solved now.

His eyes darkened, however, when he saw you laughing with your classmates. You're here for him, not some rando dudes from your class.

Suddenly, he feels determined to play so well you won't take your eyes off him for even a second. He'll make sure of it.

"Hey. We're going to beat the other team so hard they cry. Got it?" he suggested with a horrifying expression on his face. The entire team felt too afraid to do anything but nod in agreement.

That's the second mood change he had in a matter of 30 seconds. Now the entire team is just generally concerned for him.

As the NRC team walked out, you smiled at Floyd and waved to him, Grim raising his little paw to wave too. He smiled back at you widely, flailing his arms around like an excited child at you. When he looked away, however, his expression darkened once more.

Better keep your eyes on him the whole time or someone from the other team might not make it out unscathed.

[thechekhov]

Dungeon Meshi Quick Reacts

CH.30 (Good Medicine)

I kind of assumed that things would get worse from here...

...yeah, there's no 'but' to that. Getting Falin back so quick was too good to be true.

Aren't those the ghosts Falin talked to? They could be friendly.

"ee gads! a hairless little man!" I'd be frightened too if Chillchuck was suddenly behind a door I'd just opened.

Chillchuck, buddy, less than 24 hours ago you threw a knife directly into a dragon's eye. You can take care of some worgs, right?

Senshi's a card carrying member of the smells-okay-to-me-chief club.

Orcs be like 'oh, dragon's gone? Hm. Curious' and then just carry on. Wouldn't you be worried that something took out the dragon? Could be even more dangerous than the dragon itself.

I feel like at this point Falin might be just that.

MOUTH TO MOUTH RESUSCITATION!

Marcille, I don't think you have a lot of options.

......just realized those moose antlers are holding up her rack. Talk about a pushup bra. Damn. Respect.

Wait go back to that "create monsters to do their bidding" thing again. Was that the little mini dragons or does that include larger monsters like the dragon itself?!

OR something that was IN the dragon, controlling its actions and make it act irrationally? Is that why the Sorcerer wasn't surprised to see Falin as a separate thing outside the dragon? Was the assumption that whatever THING it was had escaped and become Falin?

And for all we know... it kinda had. It had merged with her spirit....

Or maybe I'm way off.

Congrats on the larger story plot! :D You're now in even more danger! Hoorah!

Chillchuck, a normal person would just go 'I'm leaving, pay me'. You're giving yourself away, worrying for them.

I can't hate him for the reasoning here. The deeper you go, the less likely you are to be found. The only person who cares enough about Marcille and Laios and Chillchuck to find their bodies are.... each other. So if they're dead here, they're likely dead-dead.

I want to nestle into her bosom and live there as a little creature.

Moreso than when she was literally in the gullet of a red dragon?! Come on, be reasonable. At least she's alive now. And remembers who she is.

Ooooh friendly ghosts. Makes sense why Falin was so chill about them.

All the more reason to believe there's something to be done!

Love the doggo yawning behind Chillchuck.

He's a coward, but being afraid isn't necessarily a sign of weakness. It's a sign that you realize how dangerous a situation is. Cowardice isn't stupidity, no more than ignorance of danger is bravery.. I think the orc leader is maybe realizing he's not doing it for completely selfish reasons. Mad respect to her though.

It WAS Falin, wasn't it? It wasn't as if it was a thing pretending to be her. She was there, and she was revived successfully, and then the soul confusion thing happened.

......damn. What a small holiday they got, before the next horrible thing happened...

hey, Marcille is not dumb! She's got loads of braincells! they're just all focused on doing evil stuff and being gay.

🎯

That's right! It's just like you, Chillchuck!

Was that... there before?

Oh, okay, no, it was. Hm.......

This stupid man is about to full a Falin and jump out a window to go look for her, isn't he.

Gods, this sucks for him so much. For all of them. Because they.... they WERE successful! They rescued Falin! They brought her back from the head! They DID that!

But now, instead of getting the reward of it, she's just gone. Is it better, because she's alive?

Or worse, because the threat is even more nebulous?

If they all died, would it be worth it?

who's the coward...? he's ready to go back.

For Falin, they went down there. They risked themselves.

For them, after talking to him only a bit, the orc leader went from 'hey, nice snack for my dog' to 'we're helping you get that girl back'.

It's about the CONNECTION!!! IT'S ABOUT HELPING EACH OTHER AFTER LEARNING TO UNDERSTAND ONE ANOTHER!!!

[cinememed]

₍ 📻 ₎   the mountain goats lyrics  rp  starters  ! featuring violence, explicit language + subject matters & mature topics . some lines have been slightly adjusted for rp purposes .

let him who thinks he knows no fear look well upon my face.

bring your heroes, watch them all get crushed.

everybody's got their limits. nobody's found mine.

some things you will remember. some things stay sweet forever.

i can see the future, it's a real dark place.

who will mop up all the blood?

there's no promise sweeter than a blood pact.

i'm as happy as i'm ever gonna be. you're by my side.

wrap this around your head. don't let anyone see that you're bleeding.

if you can't beat them, make them bleed like pigs.

and i am coming home to you with my own blood in my mouth.

every moment leads towards its own sad end.

i am coming home to you, if it's the last thing that i do.

i am this great unstable mass of blood and foam.

i think i hear angels in my ears.

some days i don't miss my family. some days i do.

lend me your hand. let me look in your eyes.

when i try to open up to you, i get completely lost.

some days i think i'd feel better if i tried harder.

i woke up afraid of my own shadow. like genuinely afraid.

keep your head low. try to leave no traces when you go.

don't even question your senses, you can be sure it's me.

it was their love you wanted, not mine.

you know and i know, everyone knows it. i'm the one.

i may have failed you once before. but this means war.

the best you've got is powerless against me.

please don't send me back to where i came from.

you're going to do what you want, no matter what i ask of you.

all your little schemes break when they come crashing up against me.

what did i come down here for? you.

i've got you. you've got whatever's left of me.

i hope you blink before i do.

i hope you die. i hope we both die 

i want to say i'm sorry for stuff i haven't done yet.

would you look at that? we're throwing off sparks.

what will i do when i don't have you to hold onto in the dark?

i don't know why it's gotten harder to keep myself away.

i saw the future in a dream last night. there's nothing in it.

somebody's gonna get hurt. i hope it's not me.

i couldn't help myself. i don't know what i need.

i hope the bad guys win. i hope the good guys get their skulls bashed in.

i waited here all by myself.

down there in the dark i could see the real truth about myself.

when you came in, i could breathe again.

you're the last, best thing i've got.

some things you'll do for money, and some you'll do for fun.

the things you do for love are gonna come back to you one by one.

it's not nice to try to kill the same thing twice.

i used to love you so much i was sure it would kill me.

i want you the way you were.

we can leave a nasty mark when we're gone.

i know you don't want me to hurt you tonight.

i don't want you to hurt me the way you do.

i am right here where you want me.

the stars would come out of hiding for you. and i would too.

i will do what you ask me to, because of how i feel about you.

you have questions only a masochist would ask.

your bright eyes are gonna kill me for sure.

nobody is innocent here. i've got more blood on my hands than you do.

you've done something awful. i've done something worse.

you can stand up, or you can run.

we both know know what you've done.

some things you do just to see how bad they'll make you feel.

we both know you're leaving. you just don't want to say it yet.

i've got no good reasons left not to let down my guard.

you were warm. that's all i remember.

i feel guilty, but i can't feel ashamed.

hang on to your dreams until someone beats them out of you.

when the time comes to loosen your grip, you'll know.

you found my breaking point. congratulations.

nobody gets away. even the best of us come back someday.

[simplysslytherin]

Everyone thinks Astarion's insecure about his relationship with Tav because he believes they deserve better. That he's fearful of them one day realizing he isn't so wonderful, so they abandon him.

But, like…what if Tav's the insecure one? Like, maybe they're insecure because they're human. Perhaps they see Astarion conversing with other elves or vampires who are more remarkable than them, so they worry he'll someday leave.

Elves are unlike most races, you may think you are speaking to an adult but be speaking to a child. Elves dont reach full adulthood till they turn 100, then they shed their childhood names and pick a new adult name. Tav was not an elven adult. They weren't even a elven teenager they were 27. Astarion was from their math 239, a fully realized adult elf. While Tav was barely able to go and explore the world under the watchful eyes of their parents. However, they got scooped up by mind flayers and here they were. They wondered if Astarion noticed or realized it, Halsin had very easily. Calling them little one and offering father like protection. Tav liked that it was nice to look to Halisn and have him nod affirmation that yes this was a good choice.

The parent child relationship didn't come to light until Tav got sloppy and accidentally called Halsin "Da" in elvish during dinner one night. Shadowheart spit out her drink, Astarion looked relieved while the others looked confused.

Halisn sighed and said, "not long ago I prayed to the oakfather for a child and he delivered just not in the way I expected." He had put a large hand on Tavs shoulder as he said it, to Tav's embarrassment.

It added to Tav's worrys that they would all find out they were just a child blindly leading the group.

It especially stung when Astarion had to use his flirting skills to get the out of several tight spots. He could have anyone, he could certainly find a more capable partner, not just a convenient blood bag.

Tav had been anxiously waiting for the other shoe to drop since Halisn had revealed their parent child dynamic. It had been weeks.

"For the love of the oakfather stop pacing child." Halsin's voice stoped Tav short.

"Da."

"What's troubling you. Come you can tell me."

Tav looked around before switching to Elvish, "Its Astarion, he says he has something to confess."

Halisn nodded for Tav to continue, "he must of found out that I'm not an adult. He's probably disgusted I've tricked him. And and he's gonna leave me." Tav started crying at some point.

"Astarion isn't going to leave you." Halisn said opening his arms.

Tav ran into them hiding their face. "You don't know that. He probably hates me know he knows my secret!"

A new voice cut through the air, "I could never hate you darling. If anything I'm worried you'll hate me."

"'starion?"

"May I?"

Tav was shifted from Halisn's arms into Astarion's. "Lets go somewhere a bit more private my love." Astarion walked off carrying Tav, "I don't want your parent to rip my throat out."

After he put Tav down he held their hands. "There is nothing you can ever say that will make me stop loving you. Nothing Tav. So don't be afraid to tell me what your secret is it can't be worse thsn mine."

"It is! I'm 27." Tav let the words hang in the air. Like a confused puppy Astarion tilted his head.

"127?" Tav shook their head, "you have so much time." He breathed.

"So much time to hate me for taking advantage of you. I had a plan a nice simple plan. Seduce you, sleep with you, manipulate your feeling so you would never turn on me. Then I started to genuinely feel for you, and my nice simple plan fell apart."

"Astarion, you don't hate me?"

"What!? No! Don't you hate me?"

"No. I'm upset with you but I coukd never hate you."

"I'm also upset you didn't think you could tell me your secret." Astarion hummed. "Perhaps a late night strole just the two of us could help make it up? And we can continue this conversation when you've dried your face."

"I would like that."

[pastelspoon31]

Chapter 5: What a nice neighbour! (Older!König x Younger!Reader) - NSFW

tw: age gap (early 20s reader, AT LEAST mid-40s König), manipulation, non-con, somnophilia, drugging, gullible reader :(, a little bit of pseudo-incest, pretty much dead dove, coerced pussy inspections, König being a non-licensed gynaecologist lol

A/N: Editing this while wondering what the fuck is wrong with me (A lot)

Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | > Masterlist

Should you tell him? It's a pretty weird topic to bring up so casually.

He's still a man afterall, right?

Lately, you have been waking up with... a lot more discharge than usual. Thick white opaque liquid leaks out of your pussy and crusts onto the fabric of your panties.

You were confused, and a little grossed out, but after taking a shower and getting dressed, you forgot about the weird situation.

At least until you woke up again the next day and the same thing happened.

And the next day.

And everyday the next week.

And everyday the next month.

Was it something you ate? Was it a sign of cancer? Was it something worse?

You haven't had sex in a long while so it couldn't be that...

It had happened while you were sleeping over at König’s too, where he had been keeping you safe in his arms as you slept so it's not like you've been attacked.

The only explanation was that it was just your body doing its own thing, and there was no harm done.

Right?

"Hey, König?" You looked up at the man standing next to you.

"Yes, liebling?" He hummed, and you bit your lip.

"Are you... Uhm..."

"What is it, mein hase? He asked with concern, and you looked down, playing with your hands.

"Are you busy... today?" You nervously asked.

"I have nothing planned. Did you have something in mind, liebling?" He asked.

"No. Yes. Sort of." You muttered.

"I need your help with something.." You bit your lip nervously.

"And what would that be?" He hummed.

"U-Uhm... It's... embarrassing..." You murmured, and he tilted his head.

"What is it, liebling?" He placed an arm around your shoulder and pulled you closer. "You know I'll do anything for you."

"Yeah... I know.." You nodded, "But this is weird..."

"Nothing is too weird, mein hase."

You blushed, and looked down, biting your lip.

"Do you mind... Accompanying me to the gynaecologist? I think there's something wrong with me.." Your face was red and your heart was beating wildly.

König bit his lip to hide a smirk, his mind already imagining what you were going to say.

"What's wrong? You caught something with your ex-boyfriend?" He pretended to ask.

"What? God, no! Me and Billy.. Well, I haven't had um... sex in a long while." You murmured.

"So then, why are you so worried? I'm sure it's nothing. Tell me, my late wife always complained about the same thing and she was fine." He pretended to be assuring to you.

"That's the thing, König. It's.. It's something gross.." You cringed for even having this conversation.

"I've never really had a guy close enough to me to talk about this.." You whispered.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, liebling."

"But it's different-"

"It's human, liebling. I'm sure it's nothing serious."

"No, you don't understand. It's... I don't think a woman is suppose to produce something.. um.. so much.." You whispered.

"-And i've never really... Had anything like this happen before.." You sighed, looking away.

"Ah, if you're that worried.. Show me then," König even followed up with a gentle smile that was so well crafted you couldn't possibly imagine him being the culprit.

"W-what? No! That's even more gross!" You squeaked and König's smile dropped, turning into a frown.

"Liebling, it's only natural. Don't you trust me?" He asked, and your blush worsened. "You see me as your father, ja?"

"Yeah.." You reluctantly answered.

"Then, there's nothing to be afraid of." He patted your head reassuringly. "If it makes you feel any better, I served a short period as an assistant to a doctor in my younger days serving in the military. I've seen and helped more women than I can count. I’m more than happy to help you if you want, liebling,”

You blushed and nodded, looking down.

"O-okay.. But promise you won't laugh or make fun of me.."

"Of course, hase." He gave you a soft smile and rubbed your back.

"Alright.."

You allowed him to guide you to his bedroom as you sat on the edge of his bed.

"Alright, mein hase. Whenever you're ready." König told you, and you nodded.

You hesitantly lifted up your skirt, and inched closer to the edge as you spread your legs about a foot's width.

"I'm going to need you to spread your legs a bit wider, hase. I can't see anything." He cooed, and you swallowed thickly and obeyed, your hands tightly gripping the edge of the mattress.

König's eyes immediately zeroed in on the wet patch that stained your panties, and he smirked to himself.

His thumb gently pressed against the damp spot, making you gasp.

"Is this the 'problem' spot you're talking about, hase?"

You nodded, and he gently rubbed his thumb over the fabric.

"König.." You whimpered, and he hummed, moving his hand away.

"I'm going to remove your panties, ja?"

"Mm-hmm.."

You nodded and watched him hook his fingers around the band of your panties, pulling them down slowly and carefully.

"Mmm, mein hase, it's worse than I thought." Your pussy was still red from the abuse he gave it the night before as you were sound asleep.

"It's.. It's been like that for a month. All.. red and sensitive..." You murmured out in embarrassment. 

"When I wake up, there's always a heavy white sticky discharge- A lot of it. And it's crusty when I take my panties off.." You bit your lip.

"And it happens every morning..."

"Oh, poor hase.." König clicked his tongue in sympathy. His eyes however, were set on your cute little clit nestled in the top of your slit.

"How does it feel?" He asked and brushed his fingertips against your labia.

"Mm.." You whimpered and bit your lip, "It feels sensitive.."

"And here?" He pressed his fingers into the skin around your lips, and you whined.

"Hurts.." You whimpered.

"Poor little thing.." He hummed, his fingers trailing up to your clit.

"Oh.." You gasped and instinctively closed your legs.

"No, no, liebling." He cooed, and opened your thighs once more, his finger rubbing circles on your sensitive bud.

"That's not!- You're touching my, oh~" You let out another gasp.

"I'm just checking, ja? To make sure nothing is wrong."

"O-oh, okay.."

You swallowed thickly and let him rub and stroke at your pussy, his fingers gliding against the wetness of your arousal.

"I don't see anything.. white that you mention of." He pretended to be curious as he lightly dipped his index finger into your entrance, your walls already trying to suck him in.

“But it’s always there every morning..” You tried reasoning with him.

"Well, I don’t see it. Here, it's mostly clear, hase.." He continued, pushing his finger further.

"K-König!-" You instinctively pushed yourself up, your hands resting on his shoulders.

"Shh, hase. We don't want the neighbours to hear you, now do we? It'll give them the wrong impression. I'm just examining you, afterall.."

"It feels.. weird." You murmured.

"Just relax, liebling." He soothed, "There's nothing to worry about."

He began pumping his finger in and out of you, watching how your body reacted and memorising all the ways you whimpered and suppressed your moans.

"Hmm... Have you been eating well? How's your diet?" He asked, pretending to be concerned as his fingers pumped in and out of you, his thumb still circling your clit.

Oh, how he was enjoying the way you struggled to form words as your hands gripped the fabric of his bedsheets tightly.

"I-I have.." You moaned.

"Have you been drinking enough water?" He asked, his thumb speeding up on your clit.

"Y-yes! I have. I have!-"

"I'm just making sure, hase.." He said softly, "I don't want anything bad to happen to my liebling, ja?"

"Y-yes, König.." You whimpered. "Are you almost done..?"

"Almost, liebling.." He said, "I'm just trying to find the source of the problem."

König pulled his fingers out, his middle and ring finger pressing against your entrance. The pulsing of your tight heat had him salivating at the thought of how he's the one that caused that.

"Now, just relax, hase." He cooed.

"I don't think-"

Your breath hitched and a moan escaped you as he slid his two fingers inside, pushing past your resistance.

"Shh, shh, liebling. Just relax, hm? I'm almost done checking." He hushed.

"Please, König, I don't think- A-ah!~"

König started fucking his fingers in and out of you, his movements slow and teasing.

"What was that, liebling?" He smirked from your reaction, his pace slowly picking up.

"Mm, it's sensitive, König! Too- ah! Much!"

You couldn't focus on forming words properly as the older man fingered you, your pussy already fluttering and squeezing his fingers.

It didn't take long before you clamped down on his digits, and let out a soft cry, your body shaking.

"König!-"

"There you go, hase." He hummed.

"I think we've found the source of the problem."

You gasped, your face a bright shade of red.

"Oh, God, König! I didn't mean to..!" You cried out, face red.

"Oh, hase, don't worry about it. It's natural."

"But-"

He pulled out his fingers and wiped it on the bed sheets.

"Frankly, I don't think there's anything wrong. Your discharge was clear. It's not white. And as far as I'm concerned, you've eaten a healthy and balanced diet and had enough to drink. You haven't been having unprotected sex either. In fact, you're very healthy, hase." He gave a deceptively sweet smile at you.

"B-but, König.."

"Liebling, you're a beautiful and healthy woman." He sat next to you and pulled you closer, his arms wrapping around your waist.

"You're not in any danger, I can promise you that. It's perfectly normal. It's nothing to worry about.." He reassured.

"It's just something that happens." He kissed your forehead. "Nothing to be embarrassed about, ja?"

"Okay.." You nodded, your heart still pounding.

"Good girl. Now, put your panties back on. We'll go have lunch together at that place you like, hm?"

You smiled and nodded, leaning up to kiss his cheek.

"Thank you, König. For.. Helping me out." You murmured and he smiled.

"Of course, hase. Anything for you,"

[harasharaved]

Jason Todd Fics - September 2023

Fics I recommend with a focus on or POV of Jason Todd. Masterpost can be found here.

Key: Has a ship or romantic plot, unfinished, multi-chapter, one-shot

NOTE: some of these do require an AO3 Account to read.

Whisper Closely in My Ear by Kangarou

The words went in one ear, rattled around like bees, before ramming out the other. The doctor was sitting painfully close, only two feet away. The tone of voice implied he was talking louder, not quite a yell but something nearly there; it sounded like a whisper to Jason. So quiet, with every third word unintelligible, except for that first phrase: "Mr Wayne, I'm afraid you're profoundly deaf." --- Jason is profoundly deaf. He learns to cope with it.

An AU in which Jason is deaf. This is one of my favorite Jason fics. I often find myself coming back to it. Its a great character study, introspective and has that delicious kind of hurt you just want to sit with for a while, with a helping dollop of comfort.

Children Will Listen by Parker Avenue

Jason Todd is good at extortion. He's what the adults call a snoop - nobody paid attention to the little kid with the big ears. Without even realizing, adults would hand him the keys to getting what he needed. Jason knew how to collect information, because adults found information valuable. And it was. It was free, easy to get, and easy to carry, so long as he kept his head clear and his facts straight. Jason had information Batman could use. He knew it. He had thought it over all day, sitting on that moldy couch, eating stale saltines. Batman would definitely be interested in the information Jason had. Batman had become scary again, like the old stories Jason used to hear the goons in the area tell. Breaking bones, just barely keeping people alive. Batman didn’t kill, no, but sometimes? Sometimes living was worse, maybe. Jason stayed crouched behind that dumpster, silent, because he simply couldn’t decide if Batman was far gone enough to make a kid wish he was dead. (Jason Todd knows how to get what he wants, and Batman tries to lure him to safety.)

Okay I will admit, my biggest weakness is fics about street kid Jason. Slow adoption got me good. Anyways, this one isn't finished but I love the way the pacing takes its time. Co-parents Bruce and Selina is never a con either!

Stargazer by LemonadeGarden

Jason Todd is seriously injured during patrol one night, and is forced to stay at the manor to recuperate until his injuries are healed. To pass the time, he makes a list of things he never got to do before he died. Except there's one small problem: most of them involve Bruce, and Jason doesn't really think Bruce cares all that much about him anymore. This is a story about how wrong he is, but I made it sad anyway.

I'm sure everyone and their mother has rec'd this fic, but I'm doing it anyways because I love it deeply. If you haven't read it, this is your sign!

Glow in the Dark Stars by essspressso (stylesmakethefight)

“I’m being serious, asshat,” Jason hisses, swatting his hands away from his face. “You have to tell me what year it is.” Nightwing crosses his arms a little petulantly. “It’s 2017. Happy?” Jason freezes, breath catching in his throat. 2017. Five years ago. He was…he was fifteen. “Shit,” he murmurs. He’s going to eviscerate Tim. Or: Red Hood Jason and 15-year-old Jason swap timelines, landing one week before 15-year-old Jason is supposed to die.

Time travel trope + Jason Todd's tragic ass life = amazing fics. Feelings, prepare to be felt! LOTS of Angst. You might even shed a tear. Wonderful fic!

Too Much Fucking Salt by Pez_The_Platypus

A rural housewife instinctively understood the law of quantity into quality. Add a pinch of salt to a soup and it tasted better; add one pinch too many and you ruined the batch. Jason had been in limbo for a year and a half, trusting things would get better even though everything just seemed to be getting worse. It was something small that set him off, but really, it was an accumulation of a lot of things that led to this. He was going to kill the Joker.

A one shot, but a LONG one. This one is very sad, heavy, and bittersweet. Its not Bruce or Dick "bashing", it provides a pretty well rounded and human description of them, which is to say they are not angels. Still, if you love pondering the tragedy of Jason Todd and themes of coping with trauma and the inherent grating sensation of trying to heal, this is a great fic for you.

YOU MUST KNOW LIFE TO KNOW DECAY by orpheusaki

Bruce starts, eyes glaring down at the city and unwilling to look anywhere else, especially in Jason's direction, "You always… hated the rain." Jason's breath gets caught in his throat. (For as long as Jason can remember, it's always been raining.)

Jason angst and character study rooted in comic-accuracy. Great short read!

This Kind of Weather by r_astra

Jason’s at school when his mom dies, and that’s the only reason any of it happens. If he’d been home, if he’d been with her, he would’ve been in the wind before anyone else even knew. Even if they looked, no one ever would’ve found him. He’d have taken to the sewers if that’s what it took, man-eating crocodile guy and all.

Yes, another Jason Todd adoption fic, one in which he does not steal the tires. I have a type and I'm limiting myself to only 2 of the many I love. This one does not have much of a focus at all on the Bat-side of things, just a story of Jason finding a home, much older than in the comics.

A Straight Blade by Sparkypants

"What happened to your face?" Bruce asks, reaching his hand for Jason's jaw. "You're bleeding." Jason bristles, cheeks turning pink. "I cut myself shaving." He says, and wipes at the cut with the cuff of his hoody. Damian makes a clicking noise with his tongue, "I'm amazed you haven't taken your own head off." He snarks. Jason shoves his chair away from the table, temper flaring. "Well it's not like anyone ever taught me, is it." He hisses. He's five years late, but Bruce finally teaches Jason how to shave.

Quick one-shot with feelings. Great little read I often find myself revisiting.

Growing Like a Breeze by WhaleofaTime

April 27th isn't anyone's favorite date, but it's somehow worse than usual today when Bruce gets his car stolen. It's nice of Red Hood to come to his rescue. Nicer even that Jason keeps him company afterwards.

One of those fics that explains everything about why Jason and Bruce's dynamic and relationship is so magnetic to read about. They both suck at feelings and yet make me feel SO MUCH.

[mcflymemes]

AS SAID BY FENRIS  *  assorted dialogue from dragon age ii, updated version

meeting you was the most important thing that ever happened to me.

i can’t bear the thought of living without you.

you are too willing to involve yourself in the affairs of others.

nothing could be worse than living without you.

before we found you, there was a moment when i… don’t do that again.

you should really post some guards outside, considering all the trouble you get into.

everywhere we go, people try to kill you.

i don't want to hear another word out of you.

and here we are again. for the fourth time.

how much do you wish to test that luck of yours?

it seems you have won the day. well done.

why must you go on about this?

i can do that, if you wish.

i am alone.

i'm afraid to ask what brought this on.

is this going anywhere?

do you want to guess what color my underclothes are again?

you’re squandering something you don’t understand.

you do not like your name?

you'd look pretty in one.

i felt like a fool. i thought it better if you hated me.

nobody asks for their fate.

oh. that. it’s... a talent.

it was better than anything i could have dreamed.

do not make light of this. leaving was the hardest thing i’ve ever done.

whatever you need, i am ready to assist.

the true character of any city is found among its poor.

i enjoy following you.

i didn’t come here to burden you further.

we have never discussed what happened between us three years ago.

is there no one else who has your attention?

you wound my pride with such accusations.

break their heart, and i will kill you.

you keep staring at me. is it my eyes again?

you are more naive than i thought.

did i hear correctly?

that is my hope as well.

i don’t want your pity.

i needed to be alone.

that night... i remember your touch as if it were yesterday.

i shouldn’t trouble you with this. my problems are not yours.

how is it you get into these situations so often?

you did the right thing. many would turn a blind eye.

you do not want to know the answer to that.

i don’t know. it’s just something people say.

you have an entire story written in your head already, don’t you?

a shame that you are going to die, no?

i should have asked for your forgiveness long ago. i hope you can forgive me now.

from what i gather, you like a lot of things.

you wish to do this here? in front of everyone?

i’ve never spoken about what happened to anyone.

why are you watching me like that?

i remain at your side.

i may not get a chance to say this again.

thank you for asking me to come along.

perhaps this is what it means to have a friend.

i suggest keeping your distance.

if there is a future to be had, i will walk gladly into it at your side.

we need to stop and rest when we’ve a moment.

this ground is cursed. only wretched or ignorant souls would linger here.

i cannot imagine what it must be like to lose your family. anything i could say would be insufficient. i’m sorry.

i have never allowed anyone too close.

forget i said anything.

it’s so wonderful having my personal business as someone else’s sport.

well... at least i’m not dead.

you were never ordered to kill?

does it bother you? should i stop?

promise me you won’t die.

do not bare your heart to me, unless you would have me rip it out.

is that a compliment of an insult?

do you intend to go after me, then?

it is always good to be at your side.

thanks for getting rid of them.

i imagine you imprisoned them?

you have my thanks.

i am yours, as always.

the smug sense of superiority does give you away.

you caught them, then?

there you are. were you hurt? what happened?

i don’t know what to say, but i’m here.

surely you can’t hope to best me.

i am yours.

we should move on.

i could ask you the same thing.

i just... am pleased to see you, that’s all.

you are looking for forgiveness, but i’m not the one who can give it to you.

they say death is only a journey. does that help?

i stand ready.

shall we end this quickly?

another battle is upon us.

you frightened me.

oh, you've learned a few new words.

keep going. i'm sure your training will kick in any moment.

to be honest, i see no point in filling these moments with empty talk.

my wounds need attention.

[sugar-omi]

Imagine mc giving birth to their baby. You know, Cove is probably panicking, Baxter pretending he's okay but at some point faints and our brave Derek letting mc crush his hand with theirs lol

And also I've seen a clip of a dude who just witnessed his wife deliver their baby and, with a face full of horror, he told her, "I am SO sorry, I won't do that again. " 🤣😭

I'm just imagining one of the boys saying something like that, in my head it's so funny

omg i almost missed this!!! im so glad you brought this up bc i love thinking abt how the boys are during delivery, especially cove omg (im sorry this is such a ramble... but also not sorry bc my brain worms are dancing in happiness at these thoughts)

cove:

even though you've had months to prepare for this and cliff n kyra has given cove lots of advice, paired with a lot of "don't freak out!" (sometimes followed by something freaky that happens during pregnancy or labor...)

he's prepared for this though. as prepared as an anxious first time dad can be. i mightta said this before, but whether you have him in the room the whole time or just to come cut the cord and hold the baby, is up to you.

if you have him in the room he'll let you hold his hand and he'll be holding yours back (he doesn't notice the pain of your grip for the longest...)

he definitely does what you mentioned and apologizes for putting you thru this LOL

after you give birth, he will do everything... he'll change diapers, put them down for naps, burp, wash, everything... because after that he needs to even the balance (if it was up to him, you'd never lift a finger after that, especially if you have multiple kids via birth)

HE'S ALSO OVERLY PREPARED

delivery bag? more like BAGS. mans has double of everything, he's PETRIFIED

also he runs to any place you want and buys you food while you're in labor if it's really long

and he stays with you up until its go time, then if you want him to wait outside he will

also he faints... or at least gets weak

if you have a c-section he's alrdy freaked out bc... omg they're taking a knife to you thats scary shit

but just natural birth? he's doubly freaked out because your body can do THAT??? you're literally pushing out a whole baby and he is awed but losing his shit honestly

would be babbling praises and encouragements (both for you and himself) n you can tell him to shut up its okay bc he's gonna laugh in the end anyway, but he'll probably end up going quiet bc he's trying not to be distracting and he probably saw something he wasn't prepared for 😬

probably starts crying the closer your baby gets to being out the womb, n after they're fully out and here he's bawling and just realized it but also he's trying to comfort n check on you first so you end up laughing bc he's fretting over you as if he isnt flooding the room

baxter:

mans is NOT CALM

tries to look calm, but he just looks constipated and he looks tired honestly

he's been losing sleep this whole pregnancy bc he's afraid of being a bad father, but he's so excited and ends up staying up at night talking to your belly so he just can't win

surprisingly dropped the collared shirts and slacks

mans is stuck in t-shirts and sweatpants or jeans

his hair is a mess too

omg he's napping when you go into labor

he jumps up, mismatched socks (either he's wearing an ankle cat print sock and a knee high sock, or he's wearing one sock. its bad n i think him wearing one sock is better (worse for him but hes fineeee))

the nurses love him bc he's running in and out bringing you food and runs back to get anything he or you forgot or might need

another over packer

honestly they're all over packers who are we kidding

this is where is wedding planner job comes in handy

has backups and plan b's for everything

and even though everything is right he brings extra just to feel better

won't be in the room if you want that ofc, but he psychs himself up to be in there

he's really scared n nervous, more-so than cove actually. but he wants to support you and if you want him in there, he's there. even if you reassure him he doesn't have to be there, he wants to be

he has to sit down while he's there, his leg is shaking and he's torn between watching whatevers going on over there and watching your face for any signs which.. doesnt really make sense since labor isnt like going to the waterpark but he has a kind heart <33

spends so much time looking at the baby... cove does too but baxter spends double that time

watches the nurses and doctors like a hawk whenever they mess w the baby

will curl up next to your bed and thanks you so much for giving him such a beautiful life, this is all stuff he never thought he'd have and he's so happy

derek:

he's actually the calmest one

he has 2 siblings and even though he was young when they were born, he has lots of experience with babies and he prepared

isn't that bad of an over packer actually, just extra baby stuff and some of the best snacks

but he'll still surprise you with your favorite food or takeout

he will do anything for you during labor, remind him to just sit down and hold your hand n stfu, thats what nurses n doctors are for n he really can't help much atp, its all up to you and the nurses+doc

holds your hand even though you might be hurting him. will just wince thru it or convince you to switch hands

will keep giving encouragement and either times it perfectly so he doesn't get on your nerves or you have to kindly ask him to shut up bc you're not playing ball, it isnt helping!!!!

also pulls a cove and does a lot of the work around the house and with the baby bc that was tough work, labor and carrying the baby? you deserve it!!!

ends up talking n holding the baby a lot, is probably a little scared since theyre so little and just holds their hand or looks at them

you sometimes wake up to him mumbling stuff to the baby, abt how happy he is, how he's going to take care of you both, how much he loves them...

carries everything outta the hospital by himself (by everything he means your hand and the baby, his family is probably dragging your stuff to the car bc they're here to help n make your life a million times easier and its literally a sleepover with nico around)

anyway. i need more dad!derek hc's now, specifically uncle nico and jorge, bc that is such a big brain thought

now this applies to all the boys honestly, i didnt even think abt it until now

but he helps you walk to the bathroom and put on all the pads n underwear n stuff if you need it

i remember seeing a youtube short where the woman said her fiance or husband helped her walk to the bathroom, spray her coochie w the water spray bottle, and with the underwear stuff

so don't worry about how you look or if it's icky because you're all sore and/or stitched up or anything like that because he's not paying attention, he just wants to help you in any way possible

[theworldendswithsho]

OKAY can you please hit me with some nanami wherein he is pinning for the reader? She’s insecure because the higher ups prefer her ex 💔

ALRIGHT here's my very first fanfiction in AGES! Sorry if its not great, I'm definitely rusty! I wasn't sure who to put in as the ex so I chose Kusakabe lol, hopefully that doesn't ruin it for ya. Enjoy!

warnings: very slight nsfw, mentions of sex, some angst

His Life's Work, Reimagined

Kento Nanami was a man dedicated to his life’s work. At least, that’s what he told himself after dropping out of life as a Tokyo businessman and returning to Jujutsu High as a teacher. He had nothing and no one else to dedicate himself to, after all. He was a sorcerer of immense talent, though he was humble and stoic. Though reserved and a bit stern at times, his students loved and respected him.

You, on the other hand, were having a hard time settling in as a teacher. Here you were, brand new to a job you loved, but you behaved so youthfully that your students had a hard time taking you seriously. Hell, you’d have a hard time taking you seriously. To make matters worse, you’re teaching alongside your ex-boyfriend, Atsuya Kusakabe. Before you’d landed the job at Jujutsu High, you had met him at a bar. You were there with a couple of friends from college, and he was there to have a drink after work with Nanami, the only teacher he really got along with at Jujutsu High. Nanami, being the responsible man he was, left after two drinks and got a taxi home. Your friends ran off with some guys they met at the bar, and there you were, alone, and there Kusakabe was, alone. A few drinks later, you went home together in the back of a taxi cab and the rest was history. 

He was handsome, but he was a fucking coward. He ran away with his tail between his legs, afraid of committing to you the way you wanted. Everyone at work noticed a strange tension between you and Kusakabe, but no one said a word. Everyone, Principal Yaga included, seemed to respect him, and no matter how badly you hated him, you had to smile and nod whenever his praises were sung. Several times, you tried to speak with Principal Yaga about how to engage with the students, and he told you to speak with Kusakabe, that he was a master at engaging with his pupils. Needless to say, you never spoke with him, and your teaching skills haven’t gotten any better.

Word gets out about a Special Grade curse in Shinjuku, and a meeting is called for all of the Jujutsu High teachers. When you enter the room, you expect to be struggling to keep your piercing eyes off of Kusakabe, but when Nanami walks in, you find your eyes have a new target. He was stony-faced, but awfully handsome, and his body seemed well defined, despite being hidden underneath his suit. Briefly, Nanami looks over his glasses at you and you suddenly look down, feeling your face go red. Did he catch you? What must he be thinking right now?

Principal Yaga assigns Nanami to the mission, and tells him he can pick any other teacher to bring with him as his partner. You look up, and Nanami’s gaze is steady on you. “Y/N will come with me,” he says with unwavering confidence. Your mouth falls open, and then closes again, before you nod your head. The meeting is adjourned and the teachers file out one by one, leaving you and Nanami alone to walk out together.

“Hello, Y/N. I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Kento Nanami,” he says cordially, extending a hand.

You take his hand and shake it. “I’m Y/N L/N, nice to meet you.”

~~~~~

You leave Jujutsu High late in the day. The mission goes off without a hitch. The curse is exorcized, and the city of Shinjuku is safe again (for now). You yawn, and Nanami looks up, noticing the bags under your eyes. He feels his heart tug upon seeing you look so exhausted. He quickly shakes his head, thinking to himself that he cannot let himself feel for a coworker. To do so would be unprofessional. And yet…

“You look tired. We should get you some coffee before we head back to campus,” he says, motioning with his chin in the direction of a cafe. You nod, and he straightens his tie before walking silently with you to the cafe.

It is there, over coffee, that he gives you advice on teaching. For someone so stoic, he was surprisingly caring and ready to engage in conversation. Sitting across from him at the small table and sipping your cappuccino while he had his black coffee, you began to realize he was even more handsome than you’d thought. His hair was neatly kept, his face was chiseled and strong, yet possessed a kind of grace that was uncharacteristic of such strength. His normally downturned lips would quirk upwards sometimes during conversation, or when he had a particularly delightful sip of his coffee.

You both stood up from the table after finishing your coffee, you stretching your arms over your head and Nanami straightening his suit jacket. He held the door for you as you left the cafe, and you made your way back to Jujutsu High without a problem. You found yourself thinking about him, and how truly mature and responsible he was. You felt your heart flutter, and then you squeezed your eyes shut. I can’t fall in love with another teacher again. If this goes badly, my job will be twice as hellish as it is now.

Little did you know, Nanami was in the dark of his room on campus thinking about you, too. Thinking about your dainty hands around your coffee cup, and then around your weapon, and then around him. Suddenly, he had a new reason to go teach every day, and it wasn’t that he was dedicated to his life’s work.

~~~~~

During a lunch break, you observe Nanami and Kusakabe sitting together and chatting. You feel your stomach clench nervously. How could I have forgotten they were friends? They were at the bar together that night, weren’t they? You noticed Kusakabe’s eyes flicker behind Nanami and land on you, and you squeeze your lunch box a little tighter. Nanami, whose back is currently to you, follows Kusakabe’s gaze, and his lips upturn slightly upon seeing you.

“L/N, come sit with us. We were just talking about the mission last evening,” Nanami says.

I offer a fake smile and apologize. “Sorry, I was just about to take my lunch back to my classroom. I’ve got some lesson planning to do,” you say, and with that, you scurry out of the faculty room and back to your classroom. Nanami’s slight smile drops, and Kusakabe shakes his head. “If she wants to keep her job here, she’ll have to be a little friendlier than that,” Kusakabe mutters. Nanami looks confusedly at Kusakabe, who then explains that you used to date. Nanami feels a pang of jealousy in his chest upon hearing Kusakabe joke, “She must still be in love with me or something.”

The next few days at lunch, Kusakabe continues talking with Nanami about you. He always makes snide comments about your abilities as a sorcerer and as a teacher, and of course, your relationship together. Nanami senses your presence in the lunch room, and though Kusakabe is speaking quietly, Nanami decides to speak up so you know he was talking about you.

“Actually, L/N’s a pretty good teacher. I think she just needed time to settle in, is all,” Nanami says loudly. Kusakabe’s face drops and he shushes Nanami. “Kento, she’s in the room. Don’t need her knowing I’m talking about her.” Nanami nods in false agreement, and turns to you and gives you a slight smile when Kusakabe looks away.

You feel pride swell in your chest knowing that Nanami thinks highly of you. Who cares what your ex says, right? Nanami believes in you. The feeling of pride ebbs away as your thoughts run wild, and you begin to wonder if Nanami was just trying to save face. How much have they said about me when I wasn’t there? Does Nanami think I’m easy for dating Kusakabe?

You don’t know that Nanami thinks about you every morning when he combs his hair and puts on his cologne. You don’t know that he wishes he was waking up next to you in the morning, or cooking meals for you when he’s cooking for himself. You don’t know the way your name falls from his lips when his hands roam his body in the shower at night, after a long day of work.

~~~~~

You’re sitting at the your desk in your empty classroom, mulling over the lesson plans in your binder. You look up at the clock. Its 2:27, and Nanami is supposed to be here at 2:30. You feel your palms begin to sweat at the thought of being alone in an empty classroom with him, but wipe the sweat off on your skirt and resume mulling through your lesson plans. The door to your classroom is open, but there’s a knock. You look up, pleasantly surprised that Nanami is early, only to find Kusakabe leaning in the doorframe, looking at you with a smirk.

“What are you doing here?” You say, disgust clear in your voice.

“Now, now, Y/N… You’re really going to have to be nicer to me than that. I’ve got a meeting with Yaga and some of the other teachers today to discuss your performance… and your behavior.”

Your eyes widen. Was he seriously blackmailing you right now?

“What do you want?”

“I want those teaching the next generation of Jujutsu sorcerers to actually be worth their salt,” he retorts. “Your performance has been lackluster, to say the least. Nanami’s the only reason Yaga hasn’t put you on administrative leave, yet.”

Kusakabe saunters over from the door frame, putting his hands on your desk and leaning over you.

“Nanami speaks real highly of you, y’know. You fuckin’ him?” he says in a low voice, leaning in close to you.

In the uncomfortable silence following that statement, you hear Nanami clear his throat. You look towards the doorway, and Kusakabe whips around and stands up straight. “Oh hey, Ken-”

“Save it, Atsuya. There’s nothing going on with me and L/N. I’ve been mentoring her in her teaching skills and I have seen genuine improvement. She is more than worth her salt, and she is more than capable of teaching the next generation. I advise you leave so I can go over lesson plans with her. And be very sure Principal Yaga will be hearing about this at the faculty meeting later,” Nanami says, his voice stern and low, a near growl.

Kusakabe rolls his eyes and stalks out of the classroom.

The air in the room suddenly feels very hot as Nanami pulls a chair over to your desk and sits next to you, looking towards the binder full of lesson plans on the desk. 

“Thank you, Nanami. For standing up for me.”

“Please, call me Kento,” he says in a honeyed voice, his eyes meeting yours and softening.

“Nan- I mean Kento,” you start, not yet used to the name change. “About what Kusakabe was saying… I know you said there’s nothing going on between us, but to be honest, I kind of wish there was.”

Your words hang in the air, and your face flushes. You expect Nanami to push his chair back, to tell you its unprofessional, to shake his head and pretend it didn’t happen. But instead, he smiles, a real genuine smile, and leans closer to you.

“I’ve been wishing there was something going on between us since I first met you at the mission briefing,” he practically whispers. His voice is steady, but it cannot conceal his longing for you. “Is this okay?” Kento asks, bringing his hand up to brush a piece of hair behind your ear. You nod once, and that is all it takes for him to press his lips to yours.

[agirlwithglam]

Hi!! I hope I'm not disturbing you but I wanted to ask how do I work hard. Because when I was younger I got really good marks without trying and now the subjects are hard and social media is distracting but I can't seem to delete it. This is also why my grades are even low then before and I'm really afraid to disappoint my parents (being the eldest daughter doesn't help). So can you please just give me some pointers on how can I actually study and not just cry because I don't know how to. Have a great day!! <3

literally omg. is this past me asking me a question?? like actually u have no idea how much i relate and understand this. the "gifted child" who always got good grades without needing to study now finds things more difficult. i know many people have said this, but i actually have been through this not too long ago. i hope these tips help <3

how to work hard + actually study (realistic)

forget hard work. at least do the work! (its so funny because i literally had a post about this all ready in my drafts about to get posted, so i'll keep this short and link the post.) stop focussing on doing hard work like studying 24/7. just put in the basic necessities you need to get a better grade. hard work post link

use the disappointment and embarrassment as fuel. (basically find a very strong why) (mini story-ish thing coming up, skip to the blue text for the actual advice) i still remember the day i got such a bad score on my math and science test, i was FURIOUS at myself and i cried about it! telling it to my parents was one of the hardest things i had to do and feeling their disappointment was even worse. but that became my turning point. i was so ashamed of myself and i resented me so much that i basically just told myself "i dont freaking care what you feel *with distaste*. you brought this on yourself you failure" (a bit very harsh, yes i know) but the way i studied that week- i studied more than i every had before! also doing this doesnt really lower my self esteem a whole lot, but if it does with you, please be gentle with yourself. : so what i'm trying to say it; use that feeling of shame and disapointment as a fuel, a motivation. The big “why”.

ALTER EGOOOSSSS. this helps SOOOO MUCH its so underrated. embody the energy of your fav people who are the academic inspiration you wanna be! example: rory gilmore, paris geller, elle woods, blair waldorf, etc etc! not only is this so helpful but it also makes it so much more fun and easier!!

parent yourself. i used to tell myself to do stuff like "go study now!" or "get up lazy-butt" but in my mind. but what if you tried to say those stuff out loud to yourself? it just creates a whole new level of real. So start telling yourself to do stuff out loud.

honestly just start. stop letting yourself think about how "uncomfortable" and how "annoying" it will be. All you need to know is that you need to get it done. Right? Ok. So now what’s the next smallest step you can take to getting to do the unwanted task? It may be taking out your material, opening your book, etc.

( !! tough love, but very important rant coming up)

You privileged brat. Your parents gave up EVERYTHING so you could have the education that you are having. They worked so so hard for YOU. So YOU can have the life you want. And all for what? Just for you to throw it all away and say “oh im lazy”. HELL NAH.

And also, do you realise how fortunate you are to be even living in such a time/ era where you have access to basically EVERYTHING? You’re stuck on something? You could easily search it up!! And whats more is that you can further learn. You can search up and find out more about the thing that you’re studying, become the smartest person in your class, get so ahead in life. I hope you realise that if you do use all the resources and materials and help that’s been given to you, just imagine how far you could go! Further than Albert Einstine, Elon Musk, etc. you may be like “what! No that’s gonna be too hard!” But did they have the tools that you have right at your hand? No! They made it all the way with just simple stuff and having to work super hard. But you live in a time where you can do TWICE as much without working as hard!!

And one more thing, QUIT WHINING. “Oh school is so hard!” “Oh school is so boring!” Like whattt???? You are so FORTUNATE and LUCKY to be even getting access to such education! MILLIONS of kids out there would kill to be able to learn what you are so easily dismissing right now. So TAKE ADVANTAGE OF WHAT YOU HAVE. Put your ALL, your very BEST into studying and getting good grades because THAT is whats gonna take you so SO far in life.

Thank you very much, *mic drop*. (i still ly pookie)

dealing with social media:

put the screen time widget on your phone home screen. i did this, and i became so embarrassed by the amount of screen time i had in one day (*cough* 12 hours *cough*) that i made certain to stop using it as much.

screen time limits. this may or may not help you, bc i know that when i knew the screen time password, it didn't do a lot of help but when someone else did (like parents or someone you trust), then it definitely worked. this is probably only best if you're a child around under 14 ish bc thats around the age when most parents put screen time limits + after that age you're gonna be a lot more independent.

more *extremely* helpful resourses:

tips to decrease your phone screen time by @imbusystudying

how to reduce your screen time in the digital age? (an article)

studying tips from a straight-A student by @universalitgirlsblog2

how to study like paris geller by @4theitgirls

more blogs i recomend:

@elonomhblog @mindfulstudyquest @study-diaries @thatbitchery

xoxo, vanilla

[zer0ady]

ZB1 MostToLeast

Likely To Be Clingy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cannot Exist Away From You

1- Gunwook

• This boy needs to be next to you or on top of you as often as possible.

• Complains to the members CONSTANTLY that he misses you.

• After a day in the studio he runs to find you and smothers you in love. I'm not exaggerating.

• He finds you and literally jumps on you. He doesn't care what you were doing before. He is on top of you.

• And he is there for hours.

• He has fallen asleep.

G: "Babyyyy!"

Y: "Gunwook- I can't breathe-"

G: "Shhhhh... I missed you..."

Y: "I missed you too Wookie."

2- Yujin

• This boy wants nothing more than to hold your hand and cuddle with you 25/8.

• But he is SHY.

• You'll often find him staring at your hand, his own stuttering, deciding whether he should go for it or not.

• You say his name and ask of he's okay and he nods shyly.

• You ask him if he wants to hold your hand and he nods again and smiles as he blushes, trying to hide his face as you take his hand into yours.

• Sometimes he is more confident and will grab your hand without fear, but still blushes as red as a tomato and turns his face away so you can't see it.

• So obvious. But its adorable.

• The type to play with your fingers and move your rings around

• Whenever you two are alone one of you will be lay on top of the other.

• Yujin constantly tries to drag you away from the group so he has you to himself for this reason.

3- Ricky

• He's not the obvious type, but he is always touching you in some way.

• Whether its your shoulders touching when you sit next to eachother, him holding your hand, or straight up sitting you on his lap.

• At home he's even worse.

• Cannot be in the same house but a different room than you. Literally will follow you around.

• Texts you on the regular asking what you're doing, how you're doing, etc.

• Loves to fall asleep on facetime with you if you're a long distance away.

• Hugs a pillow/plushie to sleep and imagines it's you.

Y: "Ricky, I gotta go."

R: "Nooo... take me with you. I'll be quiet!"

Y: "Ricky..."

R: "What?"

Clingy To Get Something

4- Matthew

• He's already told us he wants to be called 'Oppa'... of course you're included.

• Wants to be called Oppa yet has so much aegyo... Really?

• It's not like he does it on purpose... most of the time.

• Chances are you will give in to his aegyo because well... it's cute.

• He took this and ran.

Y: "Matthew, could you get ___ for me?"

M: "I dunno..."

Y: "Pleeaase~"

M: "Call me Oppa and I will? Pleeaase~"

Y: "Really? Thats what you want? I'm not gonna do that-"

5- Taerae

• Clingy without realising.

• Like he can exist away from you for a bit, but that doesn't mean he wants to.

• When out of the house he's fine. If you're there he'll hold your hand, put his arm around your shoulder, just regular- relationshippy stuff. 😂

• But when you get home he loves to cuddle.

• Like chances are you'll be on the couch lay on top of eachother.

Y: "Oh my god you're so clingy-"

T: "What? No I'm not?"

Y: "Tae... You've been lay on top of me for the past two and a half hours..."

T: "..."

T: "And?"

6- Hanbin

• This sweet sweet man...

• He is afraid that you won't be aware of just how much he loves you.

• And so sometimes he can be a bit- too much...

• Heartbreaking once you tell him. So you better let him love you as much as he feels he needs to. (I'm kidding, boundaries are important.)

• Sometimes he just needs to straight up tell you.

H: "You know I love you right?"

Y: "Yes Hanbin. And I love you too."

H: "Okay..."

H: "..."

H: "Want to hold hands?"

Acceptable Levels of Cling

7- Jiwoong

• This man doesn't cling. He flirts.

• People outside may think he looks clingy, but he's actually flirting with you. And very well.

• An arm around your shoulder as his face is inches from yours, his eyes moving between your eyes to your lips and back again. All whilst you're sat in a café with the other members-

• Like he doesn't care who's around.

• All of his attention is on you.

• But if you tell him to stop, he will.

• Accepts that not everyone is happy to see a loving couple before 11am.

J: "Is this too much?"

Y: "Yeah- A little..."

J: "Sorry..."

8- Hao

• Hao isn't clingy as much as he is just touchy.

• If you two are relaxing he will put an arm around you, hold your hand, share loving gazes, etc.

• But in other settings, if needs be, he can give you space.

• But sometimes he does get clingy.

• Sometimes he will get home and just feel the need for a hug.

• Days when he feels more clingy his aegyo is through the roof.

• I'm not kidding.

• If you think it's cute, he does it.

• Loves to get the princess treatment but doesn't directly ask for it. His heart does flutter if you randomly do it though. So be sure to treat him occasionally.

• In summary, loves cuddles and kisses, but isn't someone who needs them often enough to be classed as clingy.

9- Gyuvin

• Dating Gyuvin is like dating your best friend. (In the best way possible.)

• Yk the face he does when he tries not to laugh at something? Theres a lot of that I see.

• A lot of people don't realise you're dating until they see you holding hands or his arm around your shoulder. But you like it that way.

• Laughing with him asking if you two should be more lovey dovey.

• This occurs because someone tries to hit on you and then is surprised when you tell them you have a boyfriend.

• Honestly when you get hit on it doesn't bother either of you, Gyuvin trusts you and knows that you both find it funny that they think they have a chance.

Y: "Babe- I just got hit on again!"

G: "What? Did they not know about us?"

Y: "No! They had no idea!"

G: "Maybe I should be more clingy... Nah-"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The struggle was real for this one 🙏

[katy-l-wood]

Delete your Threads account. You know what Meta as a company has done, you know the kind of person Mark Zuckerberg is. You've lived through Gamergate, the elections, covid, the fucking lot of it, and yet you're still willingly making an account on Threads. How can you possibly justify that?

Second ask: Scratch that, I hadn't read your most recent posts. Sorry for being so rude.

Third ask: "Still going to keep an eye on it" For what exactly? For it not to be as bad as it is? For it to get even worse before you decide it is wrong? You know who Mark Zuckerberg is. You know what Facebook is. Be up front: you don't actually care or stand for anything, you're only afraid of losing business. Have some dignity.

So you decided to be rude as fuck, "apologize," and then come back and be more rude?

I was incredibly clear in that post of why I am going to keep an eye on Threads, despite the concerns: Twitter was a valuable source of live news, especially during natural disasters, and Threads is the first potentially viable replacement for that. IDK if you actually follow me, but if you do you'll know I do a lot of work around natural disaster communication. Twitter was invaluable as a communication source during natural disasters. Full stop. It is not up for debate. But hey, if you want a source with more authority than a random tumblr blog, here, have a nice shiny research paper:

Mind you, that was written in 2010 and the importance of Twitter as a communications tool during natural disasters has only increased since then. There is no other tool out there, no other website--news or otherwise, that can provide such granular, specific updates when shit hits the fan as Twitter did. The only better, quicker source of information I have found during natural disasters is listening to actual radio chatter from the departments involved in whatever problem, and that can be very tricky to do if you don't know where to look or have the right equipment. There is no other site where I can go specifically follow so many of my local fire departments, my local emergency services, my local National Weather System stations, and get live pushed updates from them every single time they post.

When Twitter DDOSed itself last week and put a limit on the amount of tweets people could view and forced people to be logged in to view anything at all, the effect was immediate and BAD. People suddenly couldn't view things like missing person alerts, or weather alerts. I had people messaging me because they were trying to check the National Weather System autoalerts for their area on Twitter due to being caught in a sudden storm, but they couldn't get on to check.

Love it or hate it, Twitter had an immense amount of value and it got that value--at least in the case of natural disaster communication--because the stubborn ass government decided it was big enough to be trusted with official lines of information. Very, very few other social media sites have ever had that trust from the government. Look at how they banned TikTok on all government devices. But they DO trust Facebook, and Instagram, and Meta. Which means their chances of trusting Threads and migrating over there when Twitter finally takes its last breath are ASTRONOMICALLY higher than expecting them to go anywhere else.

We can debate the privacy and moral issues of the Metaverse and those involved until the cows come home, but it does not change the fact that if my mountain is on fire I'm gonna get information about where that fire is from wherever the fuck I can. I'm not going to wait around for it to maybe show up in a "live" updates news article from CNN from some reporter half a continent away in New York who doesn't know anything about where I live and gets the roads wrong because they just don't know. I'm going to go to the website full of my neighbors and local firefighters and see what's happening right that second.

Do we need to fix the privacy and moral issues? Yes. But we can't throw the baby out with the bathwater either. Not using Threads or any other Meta product isn't the answer here. Using them with extreme caution and only for very specific needs, for the time being, is. Long term, we need to be focusing on privacy based legislation that would finally put these companies in their place. But until then, again, I'm going to keep following my local fire departments wherever they go.

P.S.: If you're going to keep the shitty attitude, fuck right off and unfollow+block. You're not wanted here.

[whysosiriushuh]

Rr'ing crimson rivers. Everyone talks about the great big tragedy the fic is so I'm making a post appreciating zar's comedic genius

Warning: Its hella long

******************

 "You heard me. Come off it, lover boy. Don't pretend you can't climb; I've seen James, he's taller, and you're not going to tell me you're not climbing him, are you?" 

Regulus takes it all back. He rues the day he ever showed an interest in being possible allies with Evan Rosier. Regulus scowls at him, but that only makes him smirk. 

"First of all, climbing a person is entirely different from climbing a fucking tree—" 

"How so?"

"Trees won't keep me from falling. James has arms." 

"Ah, so you have climbed—" 

"Rosier, if you want to keep your tongue, you might want to shut up." 

******************

"It is. You just don't know it yet. You'll see." James winks at him, but his smile is soft. "Go on, go get your spine realigned."

Sirius' hand flies to his throat instinctively, like a woman clutching at her pearls, staring at James, utterly aghast as he wheezes, "Get my fucking what?" 

"Or, you know, realign his spine," James muses, thoughtful, his eyes gleaming with laughter. "Whatever suits your fancy, and his, I suppose." 

"You're filthy," Sirius hisses as James laughs again, covering his mouth with his hand. "You're a dirty, dirty man, Potter, and I—I do not want you anywhere near my baby brother." 

"Oh, the first chance I get, I'm going to let him snap my spine directly in half," James declares, lifting both hands and tipping his fists apart while making an obscene crunching noise in the back of his throat. The look of pure horror on Sirius' face makes James bust out laughing all over again.

******************

"Well, you just seemed…quite upset," Lyall says awkwardly. 

"Not because of the murder thing," Sirius mutters, waving his hand carelessly. He pauses. "That makes me sound rather mental, doesn't it? I just mean, I know that whatever it is, however it happened, it wasn't something inexcusable. No, I was just surprised, honestly, and I do feel like maybe he should have mentioned it. Not that I'm entitled to any information he isn't comfortable sharing, but I do think it's something you tell someone before you have sex with them, at the very least." 

It takes a second for the words to catch up with Sirius, and then his eyes bulge as heat creeps up into his face. Lyall's eyebrows are raised very, very high. 

"Oh, fuck—I mean, shit—wait, sorry, excuse my language, sir," Sirius chokes out, his voice going high from his rising panic as his heart takes off sprinting in his chest. "I wasn't—I shouldn't have said that. I don't know why I said that. Please don't think I took advantage of Remus. I swear I didn't. It was very mutual, and actually I was super nervous and not really sure about the whole thing—er, sex, I mean, because I'd never even done it, but I trusted Remus, and he was just so lovely—"

"Sirius—"

"I—I didn't force him, I would never, and he had full freedom to do whatever he liked, or didn't. He could have just—beat me up, if necessary. I'm pretty sure I told him that once, actually, and hey, now I know he could have just fucking killed me, so there's that. Shit, sorry, the cursing again. I'm just—I don't mean to be disrespectful in your home, sir, I swear. I'm just panicking a bit, currently, and—and trying to explain that I didn't, in any way, coerce your son into having sex with—" 

"Sirius," Lyall interrupts yet again, louder this time. 

******************

"Aren't you afraid of heights?" Emmeline muses as he approaches the tree very cautiously. 

"No," Regulus snaps defensively, then pauses and kicks lightly at the base of the tree. In a mumble, he confesses, "Yes." 

Emmeline coughs. "You'll be able to get back down, right? Without falling, I mean. Because I don't fancy Sirius having a go at me for letting his baby brother climb a tree and get stuck, or worse, fall and break his neck." 

"Thank you, Emmeline, for making me feel better about this decision," Regulus says flatly. 

"I try," Emmeline replies, amused. "No, but genuinely, should I go get a ladder, or something?" 

"That feels like cheating." 

"Well, who's going to know?"

Evan is going to give me so much shit for this the next time I see him in my dreams, Regulus thinks precisely five seconds before he looks over at Emmeline and mumbles, "A ladder, you said?" 

******************

"James is jealous," Regulus informs him. 

"Jealous?" Sirius arches an eyebrow. "Someone sniffing around you, Reggie?" 

Regulus breaks out into a grin again, one so rare that Sirius feels his heart clench just looking at it. "Not jealous because of me, you idiot. He's jealous of Frank, because of you." 

"What?" Sirius blurts out, bewildered. "But Frank is—I mean, we're just friends." He pauses, then frowns. "Wait, James wouldn't care if Frank was more than a friend anyway." 

"Sirius," Regulus says, struggling not to laugh, "he's jealous because you and Frank are friends. James is your best friend, remember? He feels threatened." 

Sirius opens his mouth, closes it, then shakes his head in disbelief. "Does he really?" 

"Yes. I'm having a great time," Regulus says with a happy sigh, genuinely looking pleased. "It sort of feels like karma, you know? He's also being terribly adorable about the whole thing, but don't tell him I said that." 

******************

"How's my sister?" Narcissa asks softly, and for the first time, Sirius wonders if this is why she's truly here. 

Sirius purses his lips. "Being a raging bitch in the other room. Why do you ask?" 

******************

"A niece," Narcissa whispers, her breath hitching so quietly that he almost misses it. "Do I? What's her name?" 

"Nymphadora," Sirius mumbles. 

"Now why would she do that to that poor child?" Narcissa asks, shaking her head as she inhales again. 

******************

"Hem-hem," Mayor Delores says, clearing her throat over and over until everyone looks at her. She gives Bellatrix a simpering smile. "Feet don't go on the table, dear." 

"Forks usually don't go into eyeballs either, but I can make that happen, too," Bellatrix tells her, lifting one foot and dropping it back down to send a fork sailing up from the table through the air, which she snaps her hand out to grab.

******************

"Betrayal is betrayal is betrayal!" Regulus shouts, and he leans back into Sirius harshly as he kicks out with his leg. Sirius can hear Camilla's gasp as the kick lands.

"Betrayal?! You fucking dramatic little—" 

"Me?! I'm dramatic?! You're dr—" 

"Oh, for fuck's sake!" Sirius bursts out, officially done with this shit, reaching the end of his rope. 

******************

"Reggie, you never crack jokes or laugh at things." 

"I—yes, I do. I…do. I have before." 

"Name one time," Sirius says, lips twitching. 

Regulus opens his mouth, then closes it, then frowns. He sits on that for a second, then says, "James thinks I'm funny." 

"James is blinded by love, is what he is," Sirius tells him, clearly exasperated. "He is not an unbiased opinion." 

"Before you volunteered," Regulus states finally, and Sirius blinks at him. "The first time, I mean. I know you don't really remember a lot of things from back then, but I—I would occasionally make jokes, and I did laugh a lot more." 

Sirius clicks his tongue. "Well, that's tragic." 

"Isn't it just?" Regulus agrees dryly. 

"I bet you were shit at it even then." 

"I wasn't. James laughed, and he didn't even like me before my fifteenth birthday." 

******************

"First of all, I would be old and beautiful," Sirius states firmly, holding up a finger. "I am going to be sexy until the day I die, even if I could live until a hundred. Second of all, I will be at the wedding. In spirit. Have it at night under my star. Or just—I don't know, slap a picture of me on a chair and—" 

"You're so stupid," Regulus interrupts, then swivels on the spot and stomps off, scowling as he goes. 

"James, how do you put up with him?" Sirius groans from behind him. "The chair idea is a good idea, isn't it? You get it. See, now you have to. It's funny! It would be—" 

"Stop talking to my fiancé!" Regulus snaps as he continues on, and Sirius doesn't, but he does lower his voice as he follows along, which will just have to do.

******************

"Well," Sirius wheezes, "I definitely won." 

"What? No you didn't. You can't prove it," Regulus sputters instantly, which tells Sirius he did, in fact, win. 

"Don't be a sore loser," Sirius teases, wrinkling his nose as he inspects his spear. It's covered in gunk. The creatures didn't seem to bleed, but they were very…goopy. 

"What are you doing?" Regulus asks. 

Sirius continues to pull off his bag, reaching inside to find the cloth he needs. "Cleaning my spear. It's disgusting." 

"You have a bit of…" Regulus coughs and gestures to his own hair, then Sirius'. 

"What?!" Sirius chokes out, instantly dropping his spear and cloth, hands flying up to his hair in horror. 

******************

"Lily?" Dorcas asks tentatively, cringing at the background sound of something clattering, like metal on metal. 

"Hi, Dorcas, a little busy here," Lily pants out. "We're, um." 

"Problem?" 

"What? No. Everything's f—hey! No, step away from the gatling gun! Barty, don't make me leave this cockpit!" 

James straightens up. "Barty? Did—sorry, did she just say Barty? Is Barty there? He's alive?" 

"Lily?" Dorcas tries again. 

"We have this under control," Lily replies, and then there's a choked sob and the distant shout of we're all gonna die! 

******************

Sirius hates it. He also chooses to ignore it, much like he's doing with the idea that James is captured here, too. "You're lying. How stupid do you think I am?" 

"I need not lie, Sirius." 

"Yeah, that's what liars say." 

Riddle looks unimpressed with him all over again. 

******************

Say the word and I'll run away with you," Sirius murmurs. "We'll abduct everyone we love and take to the seas. Throw them under the deck until we're too far away for them to swim back." 

"We wouldn't have to do that to Regulus. He can't even swim." 

******************

"Look me in the eye, then," Remus says. "Look at me when you break up with me." 

Sirius peeks at him, then quickly looks away. He's chewing on his lip. "What does eye-contact have to do with a breakup? Is that, like, required? I've never dumped anyone before." 

"Yes, I can tell," Remus replies dryly. "You're rather shit at it." 

******************

"War doesn't, though," Marlene comments. "So, you know, time to fight and whatnot. Do you think we'll get matching outfits? We should color-coordinate." 

Sirius snorts. "Now there's a thought. Could you imagine?" 

"I'm thinking…" Marlene purses her lips. "Hm, yellow?" 

"Ooh, I like yellow," Pandora says. "We'd smash it in yellow."

"No, it shows blood too well," Remus counters. "You definitely want to go with darker colors." 

"Or red, to blend," Lily suggests, coughing around a laugh, doing her absolute best not to look at Remus with their shared sense of humor. She fails, and Remus grins at her. 

"Black is a good war color," Sybill muses. "Like, matte black. Not glossy. Something hardy, kind of rough." 

"Hear me out," Mary says, holding up her hands and spreading them like presenting a banner. "Orange." 

"Or we could just all go in different colors and come at them like a rainbow," Dorcas says, lips curling up. 

"Naked," Sirius declares. "We should go into war completely fucking nude. They wouldn't know what to do." 

******************

"Bit far-fetched, that," Marlene muses. "I mean, we'll get old. Old people don't fuck." 

Dorcas lifts her head, eyebrows raised. "Yes, they do." 

"Nah," Marlene protests, waving a hand. 

"Marlene, they absolutely do," Dorcas says through laughter, watching Marlene purse her lips. "People don't stop being people when they get older, you know. They continue living and such, and if they like sex, they have it." 

"You mean to tell me that old people fuck?" Marlene asks, looking like this is the worst news she's heard all week. She looks horrified. "So, like, Dumbledore—" 

"Gah!" Dorcas bursts out, flinching instinctively. "No! Why would you put that in my brain?!" 

Marlene grimaces. "Sorry, but he's the oldest person I can think of. Alright, Minerva and Poppy, then?" 

"Marlene!" Dorcas protests in horror. 

"What?!" 

"They're like—my adopted parents!" 

******************

"I'm warning you, Tim," Regulus snaps, "if you touch me, you're going to die." 

Tim doesn't listen to him, and five minutes later, Regulus is breaking Tim's hand and kicking not-Tim into a signpost before launching another not-Tim into the side of a car so hard that the window crunches and dents in with splintered glass from the impact of their body. Tim yells from his knees, fingers going in all the wrong directions, and Regulus is just about to snap his neck when a new not-Tim comes flying out of nowhere to tackle Regulus to the ground. 

There's a scuffle. Regulus may or may not nearly rip someone's ear off. Either way, by the end, Regulus stands up to find many bodies of not-Tims littered all around him, while Tim himself is dead at Narcissa's feet. Look who finally showed back up. 

Well, Regulus told Tim he'd die. No one ever listens to him. Maybe they should; he's starting to think he's some sort of prophet or something. 

******************

"Baby? What baby? Who's baby?" Alecto asks as she dumps herself down at the table with a weary sigh, looking very, very tired. Burgundy and Belfast are fighting over Dora the second they arrive. "Gun, Bel, no hitting!" 

"But Auntie! He's being stupid!" Burgundy shrieks.

"Dora likes me the most! Tell her, Auntie!" Belfast yells. 

"Does not!" 

"Does too!" 

"Does not!" 

"Does too!" 

"Does—" 

"Enough!" Alecto bursts out, slamming her hand down to the table and making Burgundy and Belfast shut up very quickly. Nymphadora looks like she's having the time of her life, but Alecto? Not so much. She breathes very, very carefully. "I know the concept is hard to grasp in your puny, developing brains, but you two can share Dora's company, and be her friend at the same time. Now, the next time one of you hits each other, I'm going to break your fingers. Got it?" 

"Got it," Burgundy and Belfast mumble, hanging their heads, and five minutes later they're peacefully sharing Dora. 

Alecto cradles her head between both hands, eyes sinking shut as she mutters, "I fucking hate kids." 

.

.

"No!" Alecto blurts out. "No, don't do this to me. Please, for the sake of my sanity, don't have a baby." 

"What does this have anything to do with you?" Narcissa asks. 

Alecto groans and drops her head to the table, so Sirius helpfully answers, "Cissa, come on, she's obviously in love with you." 

"That," Alecto mutters, pointing weakly at Sirius. 

"And she hates kids," Sirius adds. 

"Also that," Alecto agrees. 

Narcissa considers her for a long moment, then says, "Well, you're very dear to me, you know this, but I want to be a mother, so either move on or settle in." 

"Can I just spoil it with gifts and you handle the rest?" 

"Well, I was planning to handle it all anyway, so sure." 

.

.

Sirius snorts. "Yeah, okay, fair enough. I don't want anything that cunt owned anyway." 

"Sirius!" 

"What, Reggie? I'm just saying!" 

"Well, maybe don't just say!" 

"I can say what I like!" 

"You shouldn't." 

"But I can." 

"But you shouldn't." 

"But I can." 

"But you shouldn't." 

"But I—" 

"Oh, for fuck's sake," Alecto bursts out, slamming her way to her feet, making her chair and the table clatter

******************

"Well, don't stand around, Remus. Let him in," Lyall says, clicking his tongue. "Been worried about him." 

Me? Sirius mouths, looking mildly alarmed, and Remus chuckles as he reaches out to grab Sirius' arm and tug him inside. Sirius smiles at Lyall. "Hello, Mr—um. Sorry, Lyall." 

"Nice to see you again, Sirius," Lyall greets, amused. "You seem well, all things considered. Are you well?" 

"Well enough," Sirius says, "all things considered." 

Lyall's lips twitch. "That's fair." 

"You look well, too, sir," Sirius adds. "I'm glad you're not dead." Remus snorts the moment Sirius looks horrified by the words that just tumbled out of his mouth. "Sh—oot, sorry. I mean, it's true, but that's—there wasn't very much tact in how I said it, was there? Just—I'm glad you're okay. That's what—" 

"Remus," Lyall cuts in, "are you sure you found him in the Hallow? Absolutely sure?" 

"Actually," Remus corrects fondly, "he found me." 

"Respectfully," Sirius says. "In a very respectful manner. I treat Remus with the utmost respect." 

"This isn't true," Remus lies, and Sirius chokes, his head whipping towards him in disbelief. "Dad, he uses me for sexual favors and tells me he owns me." 

"I do not!" Sirius bursts out, eyes bulging. "I have never—" 

"He makes me do his laundry—" 

"Remus!" 

"I even cook for him—" 

"You're literally a cook here! You cook for everyone." 

Remus keeps his face perfectly neutral when he adds, "And he won't let me break up with him either."

"That was you!" Sirius yelps, his head swiveling to look at Lyall, whose shoulders are shaking. "Sir, he's—oh. You're laughing. You're—" He stops, then flicks his gaze between Remus and Lyall, and Remus finally breaks out into a grin. Sirius huffs. "Oh, for f—ah, that wasn't funny!" 

******************

"What?" Regulus mutters, scowling. "Look, I know that seems extreme, but it's important, alright? I'm always going to have it on me as a reminder, and because—honestly, as strange as it may be, that's a comfort to me." He pauses. "Well, not in bed, obviously. You don't have to worry about that." 

James coughs. "Oh. Right. That's…great." 

"Were you worried?" Regulus asks, frowning now, admittedly stung by the thought. "James, I'd never hurt you, especially not with a damn dagger." 

"Never?" James asks weakly. 

Regulus cards his fingers through his hair, trying to get his gaze to fall away from the dagger. "Never. I promise." 

James bites his lip. "Not even if—" 

"Never," Regulus cuts in, grabbing his jaw and forcing him to look at him, wanting to reassure him. "Never, James, not for any reason." 

"Oh," James mumbles, wilting a little bit with what Regulus imagines is relief. "Um, yay for me, I…guess." 

******************

Sirius hums. "Yeah, exactly. We're okay. We will be. Come here, can we kiss and make up now?" 

"Regulus and Remus are peering through the drapes, being nosy," James muses. "Mum, too." 

"Ah, in that case," Sirius teases lightly, then makes a big show of throwing his arms around James very dramatically while pressing an over-the-top, smacking kiss to each of James' cheeks, winking at him as he pulls away. "There, now they'll know we're alright. Nothing to worry about." 

James frowns. "Did they all know before me?" 

Sirius freezes like a spooked horse, then coughs and tosses his arm over James' shoulders. "Say, let's head in, yeah? Come on, if we turn around really fast, we can make the others scramble all over themselves to get away from the window." 

When he and Sirius swivel around in perfect sync, Regulus and Remus do, in fact, hastily jerk back from the window. Effie doesn't. She looks out at them, and she smiles.

******************

"Sirius Black," Sirius greets, reaching out to shake Ken's hand, leaning in to wink and whisper, "but you knew that." 

"I—yeah, hey, hi," Ken replies, stumbling over his words, so visibly flustered that Remus almost pities him. Almost. 

"I'm sure you have a very good reason for being here, Low Bar, but—" 

"Barlowe, actually, um—" 

"Very low bar. I could trip over you," Sirius says, then laughs like that's not even the least bit insulting, and his laugh is so lovely and charming that Ken—poor Ken—laughs with him, as if the insult hasn't even registered to him. "Anyway, this can continue in just a moment, whatever reason you have to be here. Remus has to turn his attention to something more important, which is me." 

Then, with that, Sirius twirls around and plucks the mug out of Remus' hands before smiling at him, warm and sweet, and reaching up to cradle his face tenderly, intimately, then kisses him

.

.

"A miracle. He called you a miracle, right in front of me! I'm standing right here! Hello? Can you see me? Am I invisible?" Sirius sputters, looking absolutely appalled. 

Lyall immediately dissolves into laughter. 

"I have killed people!" Sirius yelps. "I've killed so many people that I don't even know how many it's been, and he just—oh, I could have killed him so easily, what the fuck?!" 

Lyall is wheezing. 

"He's gifting you puppies and calling you a miracle—am I fucking joke to him?" Sirius demands. "Does he not know I can and will rip his tongue out of his head? I can do it! I—" 

Lyall bangs his hand down on the table, gasping for air, laughing so hard he's in tears. 

"Sirius," Remus says, biting down on the inside of cheek. 

Nostrils flaring, Sirius fixes his gaze on Remus, lips pursing like he's tasting something sour. "He's trying to win you over. He comes with compliments and puppies—" 

"It's not a competition—" 

"He comes here and tries to act chummy with your dad—" 

"I think he was just being polite—" 

"Barlowe? Barlowe? What a pathetic name. Fucking low bar of a name and a low bar of a human being—" 

"Well, that's not very polite—" 

"Offering you puppies—" 

"Sirius—" 

"Calling you a miracle—" 

"Sirius—" 

"Addressing you by that stupid fucking nickname—" 

Lyall is going to keel over here in a second, just from laughing so hard, and Remus is almost genuinely concerned for his health. He's an older man, quite out of breath, getting a bit red in the face. Huffing in fond exasperation, Remus reaches out to catch Sirius' arm and drag him out of the room. 

.

.

"How dare he? Puppies?" Sirius hisses as Remus shuts the door behind them. "Remus, he brought puppies!" 

"He did, yes," Remus agrees. Sirius looks absolutely enraged by this, which shouldn't be as hilarious as it is. "Obviously since he brought puppies, I now have to run off with him, as he is the superior gift-giver and has won my affections once more. That is all it takes for me. Puppies." 

******************

"What about us?" 

"You know, what are we doing?" 

"Perusing district six's market," Remus says lightly. 

Sirius stops holding his hand, like a punishment. He crosses his arms. "You know that's not what I meant. Kids, Remus. We've never talked about it." 

"We haven't talked about a lot of things," Remus replies. 

"Other things aren't as…serious as this." 

"Marriage isn't?" 

"I don't think so," Sirius says slowly. "We'll get married, obviously." 

Remus' eyebrows fly up. "Oh, will we?" 

"Won't we?" Sirius asks, eyebrows furrowed. Remus stares at him, keeps staring at him, and Sirius thinks about it, thinks about it, thinks about— "Oh! Oh, I just—I went about that the wrong way, didn't I? Wait, scratch that. Pretend I never said it. I didn't say that. Who, me? No, never. Um." 

"Sirius," Remus says, watching him look around with visible amusement, gaze soft. 

Sirius snatches up a half-bent spoon for sale off the table, old and chipped, though the handle is intricately carved. He holds it up and says, "Okay, will you marry me?" 

"What?" Remus wheezes, cracking up laughing immediately. 

"It's—it's the first thing I grabbed—" 

"You can't propose to me with a spoon—" 

"Watch me," Sirius argues stubbornly, then goes to one knee, which makes Remus' eyes bulge, his laughter cutting out all at once. "Remus Lupin—" 

"Sirius!" Remus hisses, hands darting out frantically to tug at his elbows, looking around furtively as people stare at them in blatant curiosity, his cheeks stained red. "You lunatic, you can't just—fuck's sake, are you mad?" 

.

.

"I can't believe you're proposing to me with a spoon," Remus whispers. 

"I, um, also can't believe I'm proposing to you with a spoon," Sirius admits sheepishly. "I may have—gotten ahead of myself. Sorry. You deserve way better, but like, I'm in this now. Sort of have to see it through, at this point." 

Remus laughs, one of his hands lifting toward his mouth, fingers gently pressing against his own smile, like he wants to feel it. "You're a mess, you know that?" 

.

.

When they break apart, Remus is grinning again, and Sirius leans in and bumps their noses together. He has never felt better than he does at this moment. 

"Excuse me. Hey, excuse me," says the person working the stall they're next to. "You still have to pay for the spoon." 

Sirius' expression falls flat, and Remus immediately erupts into laughter that he has to bury in Sirius' shoulder. Sirius cups the back of his head and turns a slow, deadly glare on the person daring to interrupt their moment. One look is all it takes. That look is all it takes. 

They get the spoon for free. 

.

.

"With a spoon?" Lily asks. 

Remus huffs a laugh and nods. "With a damn spoon." 

"Was it at least a nice spoon?" 

"Worst spoon I've ever seen." 

Lily purses her lips, then says, "I'll kill him." 

"It was the most romantic thing that anyone's ever done for me," Remus tells her. 

"Okay, resurrecting him," Lily amends

[silent-browser]

Fuck it. Insane yandere with a noise sensitive darling.

The very first time he ever saw you scared was because of a particularly aggressive phone conversation he was having back when he still considered himself stable. It was also the first time he ever felt his psyche crack.

It was supposed to be date night. Going to pick out a some books in the library and then off to a small vietnamese place near by that had amazing pho. A perfect and quiet night out. A night was was interrupted and nearly ruined before it even got started.

Work. Always work. A crappy office with even crappier management. They tried to call him in.

You can cover so-and-so's shift can't you? You will get recommended for that higher position we were talking about last time if you do.

Rudeness at its finest. He explained politely that he had a prior commitment and that he can't come in.

If it's a partner I'm sure they wouldn't mind. After all it's more money in your bank account and you can just make it up to them later.

He still can't come in. He just wants to spend a relaxing night with his-

If you can't commit yourself fully to this company I'm afraid that we may just have to write you up for insubordination. Now you should really consider what's more important. Your lively hood or one insignificant person.

He felt like an explosion went off in his brain. He roared down the receiver of the phone. How dare they threaten his job. His income. His darling. Disgusting, awful things were said that night, including threats to sue and rip that whole company to shreds. That eventful phone call ended when he threw his phone at the opposite end of the couch he was sitting on.

With frustration and rage still swimming in his mind he started ranting. Growling and pacing his living room like a caged predator when he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. He had whipped around and was ready to rip into whomever touched him until he realized who was standing there as well as the expression on their face.

His partner. His lovely partner was standing there. Shaken. Scared. He didn't mean to make you scared. He's so sorry. Please let him hug you. You don't like certain loud noises? He's even more sorry. He wishes he knew sooner. Reassureances that an outburst like that won't happen infront of you again.

The second time he saw that frightened look on your precious face was when he went on trial for murdering three entire departments from his office.

He saw you in the audience of that trial. He wanted to catch your eye. Hopeing to get across the message that he would be home soon. Instead he saw raw fear and disbelief. And suddenly the extra time off he had gained through the murdering of all those people didn't feel like an accomplishment. It felt like shame.

The crying mothers and screaming loved ones never moved him. The guilty charge didn't get phase him. Life in prison even seemed preferable at the time. Anything to get him to stop looking at and remembering your terrified face.

The third and hopefully final time he saw that look, the one that haunted his nightmares and delusions now, was when he came back.

Prison really only did one good thing for him. Gave him time to work out. He had never been stronger or in better shape. Hopefully it was a shape you were attracted to, was a common thought for him during his time in prison. In every other aspect it only caused him to get worse. Nightmares of you running away from him, hallucinations of your voice telling him that you didn't love him anymore but worst of them all were the visions of your body, broken and bruised, usually accompanied by more auditory hallucinations of you telling him that this was all his fault. He was tortured by his own mind daily. So when he finally got out he made it his new life's mission to take care of his darling. Whatever the cost.

He had to be quiet when breaking into your new house. Loud noises scare darling. If I scare darling I'm an awful and unworthy boyfriend. Don't scare them don't scare them don't scare them.

He had to be careful when drugging you. Darling hates needles... But this is necessary! But darling hates needles... Please don't hate me...

He had to be confident leaving your house. Nothing to see here. Just a man with THE MOST WONDERFUL AND AMAZING HUMAN BEING IN HIS ARMS, and wrapped in a carpet. I hope they can breathe in there... Have I suffocated them!? Have I just killed my darling!?!

He had to rush to the car and speed off.

He keeps you in a cabin now. Deep in a forest. No news from the modern world reaches here. None of the reports of an escaped convict from a mental asylum (but that was allowed right? He escaped for true love after all.). No reports about his old boss being found in his home, gutted and torn apart with his heart removed (that heart would make a fantastic anniversary present! A show of his devotion and ability). No reports about the expartner of the infamous workplace ripper suddenly disappearing the same night as the asylum escape. (Better this way in his opinion. Those other FAKES didn't really care about you. They were only reporting it because the story would bring in some money. Hmm... Maybe he should visit that news station soon... Teach them the error of their ways...)