#but not an actual daddy

[denimaww]

HC blurp

We all know Halsin doesn't mind having multiple partners and probably has had a bunch of romantic encounters through-out his very long life (many lovers, as he says). AND we've also heard him implicitly say how he's sad he doesn't have a family (when Jaheira talks of hers). So, how is he not a dad yet if he plants his seed everywhere?

Introducing, Plan-B tea! Because of course he knows how to prevent pregnancy with a potion/tea! He's an archdruid. And in my headcanon, he brews it from Night Orchids, giving the beautiful flower another reason as to why it's Shadowheart's favourite! She strikes me as a plan-b queen.

Today's showerthought turned hc lore.

[ottermatopoeia]

Everyone's all "i'll fuck your dad" until they realize that means they'd have to fuck someone over 40. and those people are weak.

[happyherringbonkpickle]

[bl0w-m3]

Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s her dads fault.

[mysticfemme]

Thinking about...

"Oh good girl, you're so good for me."

"Fuck baby, you're so tight."

"I know, I know baby, it's okay, just breathe for me, come on, just breathe."

"You take me so well, fuck, you're making such a mess, angel."

"Look at me. Look at me when I'm talking to you. Good girl."

"God, you look so pretty underneath me like this."

"Come on baby, just one more. There we go, that's it sweetheart. You can do it for me."

"Oh darling, you thought we were done? We've barely even started."

"Fuck princess, oh fuck, you feel so fucking good, you're so fucking wet for me, fuck-"

men dni

[tojisun]

PLEASE MORE DADDY SIMON IM GNAWING AT THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE AGGGHHGHHHGGHHHHHHHHH

he’s just so fuckin sweet and hot and hhhhhhgggg

simon really is so sweet and hot :((

i really really love the idea of how he’s truly more into the daddy kink thing than you are.

your slip-up only ever happens when he’s fucking you so, so good that your mind is splintering from your tethered control, leaving you rasping out whimpered moans—“daddy, daddy please!”

but simon loves bringing it out of the burning intimacy he shares with you; loves drawing it out with gentle beckoning.

“give daddy a kiss?” he asks, big hand curled around your wrist from where he’s tugged you close to where he’s sitting. you were left to hover by his front, leg brushing against his thigh.

“what?” you puff out, your voice tinged with surprise even amidst the sudden hunching of your shoulders. simon already knows—you heard him, alright.

“c’mere, love,” is what simon replies with instead, pulling you one more time and catching you with surety as you stumble on his lap.

a yelp slips from your lips, only for it to peter out, and simon wonders what it must be that you’re thinking.

do you think ill of him now that he’s gotten more clingy? more insistent?

he was always able to hold himself back, never pushing or asking more than what you give to him—every piece which he collects with reverence—but a spark had been lit in his heart and simon can no longer hold back.

he adores you. he adores the way you look at him, all starry-eyed and devoted, so shy even when you can’t shake away the honest need curling in the way you seek him out.

(“do you like it?” you asked, voice so meek that simon had to rely on his training to pick up the tremble of your voice.

”yes,” he replied, instant, eyes already crinkled in his smile. “thank you, petal. ‘m so proud of you.”

and there it was—the shy curl of your lips, the way your breath stuttered, your eyes ducking away as you let simon’s praise wash over you.

see? what a sweetheart you are.)

“please?” he asks again. “won’t you kiss me?”

simon suppresses the shiver that racks his body at the soft press of your lips on his—a sweet little peck, a ghosting caress.

so, so adorable.

[its-simply-just-krys]

“Mouthful of Forevers”, Clementine von Radics

[lavendervirgos]

"I'm sorry, I'm talking too much and you're probably not really that interested" partner A 🤝 "no, I like watching you get excited" partner B

[borderlineangel222]

it’s unfair how i have the responsibility to heal myself when i didn’t cause my wound in the first place

[louisentheirbees]

tumblr is for girls with daddy issues

[macksartblock]

something something four horsemen something

(bonus goof below, courtesy of my friend)

me n the boys hitting up Papa J's

[respectissexy]

In case you missed it, Dropout.tv, Critical Role and Dungeons and Daddies all donated food trucks to a DnD themed WGA picket event.

[coldbasementruins]

Ah yes, 3 of my favourite types of characters:

No thoughts, head empty

pathetic wet rag of a man

malewife

[vvokeup]

PETER CAPALDI as THE TWELFTH DOCTOR + dad vibes 🥹

DOCTOR WHO S10E00 “The Return of Doctor Mysterio”

[wilteddreamsofbaldursgate]

Overindulgent father Astarion who tells his children they’re allergic to any kind of jewellery that isn’t made of the highest grade Dwarven crafted gold. 

It’s not even because Astarion might have a certain aversion to silver, no, he just raises his children to have standards, thank you very much. 

And it doesn’t end with shiny things, oh no… 

The Ancunín brood is known to be dressed in perfectly woven cotton, silk and soft leather clothes, no matter the occasion.

They’re seen playing with expensive toys, reading artfully illustrated books that certainly belong behind thick glass, not in children’s sticky hands. 

There’s even talk that one of the children is not as naturally inclined to music as his parents claim him to be, surely his lyre must be enchanted—the instrument certainly looks extravagant enough! 

And then there’s always this air of effortless haughtiness surrounding the Ancunín children whenever their nannies and servants are parading them through town as if they were perfect little dolls; objects to show off the wealth their parents acquired in quite the mysterious ways. 

So, it’s no secret that Astarion and Tav are pampering their children—some might say they’re even spoiling them rotten. 

And maybe they are, especially Astarion.

But he doesn’t see why he should raise them any other way, nor does he want to.  

When it comes to his children, Astarion has his own standards, and as long as Tav agrees with him nothing really matters. 

Because, these people, they don’t know anything about the Ancuníns. 

They don’t know that it’s not unusual for Astarion to wash out dirt and mud and strawberry stains from comically small finery, leaving behind only the memories of a day spent playing in the garden, chasing after ducks, picking flowers, lazing in the sun…

That any holes and tears the children’s clothes might suffer are quickly mended, making them look as good as new in no time. 

Nor do they know that Astarion doesn’t mind fashioning a brand new dress to match that of a favourite doll, either. Or to embroider a pretty vest with the likeness of that stray cat the children seem to adore, although their father would rather they don’t touch the mangy animal. 

No, those people know nothing at all...

“Not tired!” Astarion’s youngest cries; the vehement denial of her father’s earlier accusation is cut short by a telltale yawn.

The room still smells of fragrant lavender oil and peaches even when the bath water has already grown tepid, just one or two degrees above what Astarion would consider too cold to be enjoyable. 

Amused, he raises an eyebrow at the protesting toddler before he lifts her out of the copper bathtub with little effort. 

By now, he knows every step of this game.

“Tut-tut, my dear child, what did mama and I say?” Astarion kneels, quickly wrapping a soft towel around the child to keep her warm. “We only tell lies outside of this house.”

Unfazed by her father’s gentle scolding, the girl crosses her arms that haven’t yet lost their puppy fat across her chest, reminding Astarion a little too much of a very displeased Tav. 

Suppressing a sigh, he leans back to consider the pouting child, wondering what could possibly be upsetting her this time—the list is growing longer by the day, after all. 

“What’s the matter, dear?” Astarion asks gently, hoping it’s something easily fixable as it’s growing rather late. 

“Want apple!”

Decades ago, Astarion might’ve rolled his eyes—he knows exactly which stupid apple the child wants, it’s been haunting him all day—but once he started to treat his children’s problems as if they were his own, his life has grown somewhat easier. 

“Why, let’s get an apple on our way to bed, then. Would that be alright, Your Highness?” 

The girl promptly nods her head, allowing Astarion to pat her hair dry before dressing her in a clean night dress. 

She rests her cheek against her father’s shoulder as he carries her first to the kitchen to grab a fragrant apple and a knife, then to her bedroom where they settle on the cosy window seat, just like they do every night.

Soft moonlight is pouring through the windows; the child giggles at the way the knife’s blade is catching the silver light as Astarion peels and cuts the apple into even pieces.

“Here you go,” he finally says, giving the slice of apple one last examining look before surrendering it to the impatient little hands reaching for it. “A sweet treat for my little sweet. Doesn’t it taste so much better when we don’t eat it off the floor, darling?” And when it’s not crawling with ants…

The appeased toddler nibbles at the juicy fruit as Astarion carefully combs through her still-damp curls. 

Her hair’s getting long, he notices, knowing that taking care of it will become more time-consuming each day. 

Once, Astarion would’ve thought this task tedious, brushing out hair that’s not his own, oiling and braiding it for no other reason than knowing his children enjoy him doing it. 

But that’s why he loves doing it in the first place, he supposes.

Astarion can tell by his toddler’s heartbeat that sleep is about to claim her. 

The half-eaten slice of apple is still clutched in her little fist as he cradles the child to his chest, slowly rising from the window seat to put her to bed. 

He’s just about to lay the child down that the fruit drops to the floor, his daughter’s tiny hand clutching at his shirt instead.

“Thank you, papa,” she mumbles, more asleep than awake.

Astarion pauses.

He breathes in the clean, yet unique scent of the little girl that is forever engraved in his brain, the same way he knows under which exact constellation she was born. When she took her first steps, what her first word was. Soon, he will have to memorise her favourite colour, and what she likes to eat when dirty apples won’t be that appealing anymore. 

By now, Astarion knows this game by heart, knows that with every year that passes, he has something new to learn about his children.

And sometimes he wonders what it’s like to grow up with clean bed sheets and full bellies. Sleep filled with naught but warmth and happy memories. Ever open doors and tears that are dried by tender kisses. Living in a house where mistakes and anger are welcomed, safe. 

He wonders what it’s like for his children to know that their father’s love comes without conditions. Not now and not ever. 

Sitting down on the bed, Astarion holds his youngest a little closer to his chest, unwilling to let go of her, yet. 

He’s often accused of spoiling his children when most people can only just grasp the very surface of his love for them, the bare minimum of what he feels for his one and only, precious family. 

These baseless accusations are as unimportant to Astarion as the people voicing them.

He’s raising his children to have standards, wants them to take their father’s love for granted, to accept nothing less but pure devotion.

It’s the only way Astarion knows how to love them, the only way that comes most naturally to him. 

Astarion looks down at his little girl, now fast asleep, a gentle smile tugging at her lips. 

After all these years—all these children—he’s still in awe watching them sleep in his arms as if no harm in the world could ever befall them.

And it won’t—not if Astarion can help it. 

“No, thank you, my heart,” he whispers, pressing a kiss against the crown of the toddler’s head. 

When it comes to his children, Astarion holds himself to the highest standard.

[mispelled]

Would you guys hate me if I told you I drew most of this before the poll was over