#dad knows best

[jmwdoesthings]

Father Wisdom

Wise things my father has said which should be shared part (i)

"You have the potential of an anaconda. However, you choose to utilise the one of a tapeworm."

"One day you will forget that you were offered wisdom and blame your downfall upon others. You will revel in your bitterness for you will forget what caused it, forget its beginning."

[lunewolf13]

Tim and Jason were munching on Batburgers mid-patrol. Entirely out of the blue Tim says: By the way, I'm bi.

Jason pauses, then swallows his burger: Uh, okay?

Tim: I just wanted to tell you. In case, you know, you think no one would accept you.

Jason: ...Huh??

Tim: Yeah, there's a reason why I brought this up. What I'm trying to tell you is that B told me to tell you that you can bring your boyfriend over for dinner whenever you want.

Jason just stares at Tim, wondering if he's experiencing a fever dream because what??

Jason: What boyfriend??

As far as he knows, there is no boyfriend. Why does Bruce think there is a boyfriend??

Tim being understanding but for a completely different context: It's okay, Hood. I'll tell him you said no. No need to deny it.

Jason continues to be baffled: Thanks. But I don't have a boyfriend.

Tim does not believe him: Sure, sure. So, when's the next time Arsenal plans to visit Gotham?

Jason goes back to eating his burger and pretending he's not totally confused by the change in topic: Uh, this Thursday. I'm gonna help him with Lian's birthday cake, and brainstorm gift ideas.

Tim: Uh-huh. Hope you have guys have fun :)

[chloesimaginationthings]

William Afton winning that “idgaf” award in FNAF

[aeturnum-mendacacium]

A video is uploaded where it starts from a clip saying " I'm not/Batman's not nobody's house wife" and it cuts to Robin telling someone offscreen to " make me sandwich!" , the camera turns around to some huge muscular hands making an overly-exgravegant sandwich with "the feels" from twice sped up playing in the bg. In the end the music cuts and Robin is seen happily eating the sandwich while swinging his legs and says 'thanks dad' as the muscular hand (in a spiked gauntlet now) pats his head. The video is 30 seconds long

The video goes viral.

+

( AND YES HE KNOWS HOW TO COOK, HE WAS RAISED BY ALFRED FUCKING PENNYWORTH)

[byersandhighers]

I was thinking it would be funny if during one of those hear me out cake videos a group of dudes pranked their homie and every single person put for every single hear me out, the dudes dad and now I can’t stop thinking about it as the party

All: this is our hear me out cake

Lucas: hear me out *puts a picture of Sheila the Thief from the dungeons and dragons 80s cartoon*

Will: hear me out *puts a picture of Lucas’s dad*

Lucas: is that my dad??

Will: *shrugs*

Mike: Hear me out *puts a different picture of Lucas’s dad*

Lucas: what the hell guys

El: hear me out *puts a third picture of Lucas’s dad*

Lucas: what is wrong with you! Did you take that picture from my house?

Dustin: hear me out *places a fourth picture of Lucas’s dad*

Lucas: everyone stop putting my dad! *Sees it’s Max’s turn next* max, max I swear to god if you put my father, we are breaking up, I will never forgive you

Max: Lucas don’t be weird, I’m not going to put your dad

Max: *sticks a picture of Lucas’s mom on the cake*

[artstaeus3600]

I've seen the concept of Kon either having a third parent in his DNA or instead of Lex Luthor it was someone else, so what if we replaced Lex's DNA with Danny's?

Danny's been the Ghost King for hundreds of years now his family has long since passed, Dan isn't around anymore since he's been helping Clockwork with Timeline screwups (something to do with flashes? He wasn't really paying attention) and well Dani's off exploring and discovering places, I mean she comes back occasionally but not as often as Danny would like, so Danny decided why not visit a human realm, and so he does, he explores the cities and stars, he doesn't really hide he's not human looking with his pointed ears, long fangs, and glowing eyes, and while he was there some lucky bastard got some of his DNA. This person also just so happens to be the person to switch Lex's DNA with a much stronger candidate (aka Danny)

Danny hadn't noticed at the moment cause it was a busy train ride, but he did immediately notice when a new life came to be, immediately claiming him as one of the parents, so of course he immediately went to go look and see what that was about cause he doesn't remember sleeping with someone? And he hasn't even been here that long for a baby to be born? And after some searcing he finds a lab and a baby in the tube and we'll, he went completely feral at the sight and destroyed the building, which caught some of the Justice League's attention and all they find is a destroyed building owned by Cadmus.

Danny is now back in the apartment he was renting while he was taking a vacation from being the Ghost King (he was lonely), with his brand new baby he'd guess around 3 months old but he's not an expert, and he just falls in love with him the same way he did with Dani but the thing is the baby isn't a Halfa like him even with his DNA he's more like Jazz with being extremely liminal (so mostly all the instincts of a ghost but none of the powers), and we'll Jazz couldn't ever really stay long in the zone before she'd end up a permanent resident, so taking this baby with him back to the zone was a no go, at least not for long periods of time.

So that's where he's been for the last two months with his baby who he named Conner Nightingale, Nightingale after his fake ID for this human life, and he's just adoring being a father and sure he wonders sometimes who the other parent is but he can't exactly take Conner to a normal hospital, cause of the ghost biology, except the few checkups with Frostbite telling him the other parent isn't human, Dani was also told about her new nephew and loves bringing him new toys to see if he'll like it whenever she comes around.

While Danny has been taking care of Conner the Justice League has been trying to figure out what happened with that Cadmus building was doing before it got destroyed, and found out it was a cloning lab, who they were trying to clone they haven't found yet cause of the scattered/destroyed files...

Edit: Part 2

[welcometogrouchland]

(ID in alt) you guys even fuck w/ the flash on here???

[swe3tprincess]

neeeed

[the-mpregnatural-guy]

okay but my favorite thing about s1 of pysch not quite having their footing yet is that the IMPLICATIONS make me mentally ill. shawn toes the line of toxic masculinity for a few episodes, right? in the pilot he's giving off just enough weird energy that i can ALMOST shove him in the womanizer corner, but his respect for lucinda saves him. he'll have a throwaway line about women or his dad being metrosexual bc he enjoys baths or be weird about gus enjoying non-traditionally masculine things that makes me go 🤨 hmmm BUT! in s1 ep1 he ALSO goes "mAYbE i wILL" when gus says he should date a guy. truly perplexing. but then the writing settles and shawn is just a lovable dumbass dork who drinks a healthy dose of respect women juice and follows jules around with heart eyes and wears jewelery and implies that the only reason he and gus aren't dating is because gus would never settle for him.

from a doylist perspective, the writers were still working out the kinks and figuring out what kind of character they wanted. from a watsonian perspective? GODDDD. pre-canon shawn crafts a specific persona that is at odds with who he actually is. that gets more complex when he crafts the psychic persona, right? so you have REAL shawn bleeding through the cracks of both personas, before finally settling.

WHERE AM I GOING WITH THIS. okay so shawn and gus aren't quite sharing the same braincell for most of s1, and they haven't found their rhythm yet. we can chalk that up to shawn coming back with a persona in place that doesn't mesh well with gus (who doesn't put up facades the same way shawn does). as shawn loses some of his more toxic personality traits, he and gus grow closer.

all of which is to say, s1 is an incredible viewing experience through the lens that shawn and gus are growing back together, and shawn and lassie/jules are figuring out where their parts click together as shawn lets his actual self bleed through.

[morganbritton132]

(Continuing from this in the broken arm-iverse)

“Mr Hopper! Mr Hopper, over here!”

Hopper is currently standing in a hole in the wall pizza joint on the outskirts of Hawkins. A piece of shit place only ever frequented by transient truckers and the ‘biker gang’ from the next town over.

Hopper is looking at a long night of inventory at the station and the pizza here is good which is why he’s here but…

“What the hell are you doing here?” Hopper demands, marching over to where Steve was sitting in a booth.

“Eating pizza,” Steve answers before his face breaks into a wide smile. He nearly vibrates in his seat when he tells him, “I’m with my dad!”

“We went to a baseball game,” Steve continues. “Cause he’s real sorry ‘bout hurting my arm and he loves me, and it was kinda boring but I got a hotdog. Mr. Hopper, it was the biggest hotdog in the world!”

“That’s nice,” Hopper says absently, eyes scanning the restaurant. “Where is your dad?”

“He’s on the phone,” He replies, pointing to the hallway that leads to the payphones. Hopper has many more questions but they’re interrupted by a pretty twenty-something.

She sits a paper plate with a new slide of pizza down in front of Steve and slides into the booth across from him.

“This is Shannon, Mr Hopper,” Steve introduces. “She is Dad’s whore.”

Shannon freezes and then goes red before correcting, “I’m Mr Harrington’s secretary.”

“That’s not what Mama says.”

“Well, she’s wrong.”

“I don’t think so,” Steve tells her. “Mama’s always right. She’s real smart.”

“Well, she-“

“Why does Dick need a secretary at a baseball game?” Hopper asks only to stop this impending argument.

Shannon goes red again and isn’t that just nice? Dick Harrington’s using his son to sneak off with his mistress. Lovely.

“C’mon, Steve,” Hopper says, tilting his head over to the Pac-Man machine. “You ever play?”

“I’m not tall enough.”

“Not a problem.”

Hopper dragged a chair over to the machine and gave Steve some quarters. He put in his order and then waited.

Leaning up against the side of the machine, he’s the first thing Dick sees when he realizes his son is not at his table.

Hopper gives him a wave.

[batmansbasement]

Batman, at a Justice League meeting: Everyone, meet Robin, he's my...er...sidekick. He will be aiding us today.

Justice League, in shock:

Superman: Batman, that is a child. Isn't he a little young to be involved in our type of life?

Batman, giving the most exasperated sigh anyone in the room has ever heard, and catching everyone off gaurd: Yes. Yes, he is. He's supposed to be in bed right now. I put him to bed three hours ago. Then I got to the Watchtower, and he was there.

The Flash: What, you mean a seasoned vigilante who's fought longer than this kids been alive couldn't catch him sneaking out? I call bull.

Batman, giving Flash the most tired glare any person has ever worn ever: You try and stop him

9 year old Dick Grayson, holding a taser (Bruce doesn't know how he acquired it), eating from a bag of lucky charms, and grinning from ear to ear at the flash: Try me Bitch.

Batman: *Sighs*

[aroaceleovaldez]

Nico referring to his mom as "Mama" implies he most likely at least used to refer to Hades as "Papa" and i 100% headcanon he still does but mostly in the manner of him having the entire Underworld wrapped around his finger for being the baby of the family

[mrmeepsmadmind]

this photo fucking kills me bcs it's smoke swearing in his mind

' if this goddamn pig shirks us or pulls up with armed whites, i'm raining hellfire in five seconds.' Always on Edge

&& then there's stack thinking

'im rollin THE BEST cigarette 😸😸😸 !!'

(says that abt all the cigs he gets to roll for smoke and or anyone, for that matter)

[twoshotsoffandom]

The lamb likes to tell dad jokes. Here is a collection of some of its best worst jokes

[alwaysagathario]

How could he be anything but Rio's SON?

[ibrithir-was-here]

Ok I stayed up way to late to doodle all this, but here's my headcanon for Rumi's dad. I was thinking about how she seemed to have a greater effect on the honmoon when her demon powers kick in and, of course, the purple hair.

There's been some thoughts that Gwi-Ma was her father and tricked her mother, to pull in the purple and the powers and that could definitely have tracked--but then we got that concept art of her parents together being happy and that deleted storyboard of Rumi having a memory of her demon-dad holding her and giving her a flower. So it seems it was a loving relationship between Mi-yeong and demon-dad.

And yet, the purple hair and purplish-pink powers...and then I had the idea: What if her dad was Gwi-Ma's son

The name I picked for him in his true demon form is:

Wangja-Ma /왕자 魔 (Prince Demon)

But the name he'd go by when undercover as a Jeoseung Saja (to avoid the hunters giving him any extra attention as the Demon Prince) I decided would be Shin .

Taken from the ending of gwishin (ghost) like Gwi-Ma is from the beginning. Shin by itself means god, (신) but also it can be a translation of the Japanese word shin (真), that means "genuine", which I thought was hilarious for a dude in like, three layers of disguise xD

I don't have a full story worked out, but it's likely he's either sent by Gwi-Ma/undertakes by himself a mission to spy on the Sunlight Sisters, try and spy on them to see how to destory them from within by gaining their trust--and then he gets Feelings for Real.

And whatever confession he gives to Mi-yeong is tainted by the fact that, while he might confess he's a demon, he doesn't tell her he's the son and heir of the demon lord they're trying to defeat.

And he's definitely torn between his loyalties to his father/the demon world and to his love and their baby. Like, its not like he just totally switches sides, I think he's trying for a long while to have his cake and eat it too. But eventually he does decide to choose Mi-yeong and little Rumi--but his father of course doesn't take kindly to his boy trying to leave the family business and settle down with a Hunter. While his true title of Prince still isn't revealed, things escalate, Celine finds out Shin's a demon, Mi-yeong is accidentally killed, and Rumi is left orphaned as her father is dragged back to the Demon Realm to be punished for his disloyalty...

But at least they were happy for a time...