#expensive mushrooms in the world

[ecto42]

Fuckin’ love Worlds Beyond Number. I’ll let Lou, Erika, Aabria, & Brennan make me cry any day of the week.

[orcelito]

Love seeing a "What will you refuse to eat" kind of thing bc there r plenty of foods I don't like, but I also have a Try Everything disease which means I want to try everything. Including things not meant to be eaten (like raw boba or plain espresso beans lol). & even foods I don't like, every so often I will try them again Just In Case, bc with like salsa and salad I used to hate them.but now I love them. So I've tried olives multiple times, I've tried salmon and other fish, & im just like "hmmm that's still a no for me" but I will probably try them again. Someday. Such is my nature.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

twst food culture compilation

Please note: this post does NOT include all food-related lore in TWST (for example, you won’t find a lot of information about individual characters’ food preferences or personal experiences with food here). This post ONLY talks about the food culture, notable locations, cultural dishes, and unique foods of the Twisted Wonderland world at large (ie countries, specific towns and cities, etc).

I did my best to scour for info, but I’ll update if I find anything new or details I missed the first time around.

General and/or Unspecified Location

Icicle mushrooms are one of Twisted Wonderland’s three greatest delicacies. They are extremely rare and expensive.

There is a seasoning called “pure azure salt”, which is said to be rare, even in the Coral Sea.

Twisted Wonderland has a fruit called ruby berries (which taste “like freshly picked strawberries”).

There is frozen mint with a “refreshing profile” that grows in icy mountainous areas.

There exists Walrus-brand oyster sauce. Trey uses this to cook hamburger steak for his younger siblings. He says the oyster sauce provides a "nice savory flavor" with considerable depth. Trey also jokes about adding it to chestnut tarts in book 1.

There are mentions of irl Japanese foods such as konjac and takoyaki, but so far no place of origin in Twisted Wonderland has been sited.

Like in the real world, celebrities like Vil and Neige are used to promote products (including food and drink) in commercials, on social media platforms, etc. For example, in book 5, we see Neige advertising Red Apple Soda and Vil using his Magicam account to promote the apple juice made by Epel's family.

There's a popular dish called "pumpkin carriage stew". The insides of a pumpkin are scooped out and the shell is filled with a creamy stew, which made it difficult to carry over to tables. It would sell out every day at the cafe Ruggie used to work at.

Some restaurants call their spaghetti with meatballs "starry night spaghetti", named after the tale of two dogs who shared a spaghetti kiss under a starry sky. It is said that sharing spaghetti with meatballs with someone outside would lead to true love.

Hunting is sport as well as something done for food.

Crowley goes on vacation “to the South” and reports to enjoy mango and mango-flavored products from there. He also brings back manga tea as a souvenir.

Briar Valley

General

Cotton candy is a classic snack food sold at Briar Valley food stalls. The way it is prepared resembles spinning threads, which is considered a blessed occupation (as there was a period in Briar Valley's history when no one was able to spin thread, so some clever individual tinkered around and made cotton candy instead).

In the battlefield (~400 years ago, during the human-fae war), soldiers would roast rats and lizards to eat if they didn't have rations or other ingredients.

There is little in the way of modern technology and electricity; typically, one would prepare dishes and/or collect ingredients by hand (such as via fishing) or by using magic.

Magic is used to light fires for cooking. There is little risk for fire accidents since magical fires automatically go out when you go to sleep.

Because Briar Valley is located to the north, it can get very chilly. When the snow melts, it turns into very cold freshwater.

According to Lilia, “berries are a must-have, especially at birthdays parties” in Briar Valley. They are famous for its berry juice.

The forest where Silver and Lilia live has strawberries. Silver picks them with his animal companions.

Coral Sea

General

According to Jade, there are no fires in the Coral Sea. Therefore, most of the food consumed is raw.

A month-long land boot camp first established by a mermaid princess that married a human prince teaches merpeople fire safety and how to eat food as part of its curriculum.

It's rare for merfolk to eat anything sweet, as those kinds of foods aren't readily avaliable in the sea.

The Atlantica Memorial Museum has the mermaid princess's "silver hair comb" on display. This, of course, refers to the "dinglehopper"--a common fork. This implies that merpeople (such as the mermaid princess referenced in many stories) fused to be unaware of the eating utensils on land.

Azul's mother owns the "hottest restaurant" in the Coral Sea. It started off as a small place, but has since expanded to have a large staff.

Couples from the Coral Sea frequently request rainbow dessert soup with trident cookies for their weddings. To eat it, you use the trident cookie to stir the sweet sky-blue soup, which then turns the soup into seven colors of the rainbow. This is a dish that is only served for special occasions in the Coral Sea, and it is typically served warm.

Jade says that he was surprised to see that many land dwellers eat their fruit without the peel; this would imply that those from the Coral Sea typically eat their foods with the skin/peel left on, or as-is.

Playful Land Amusement Park

All food and drink are handed out for free.

They serve food in large quantities, such as tuna, entire tart cherry pies (with cinnamon, clove, and crushed nuts in the filling) and a whole peppery roasted chicken. The park encourages consuming in excess.

Other food items being offered include fried tuna fish and sparkling apple juice. The juice comes with an umbrella stuck in the opening to prevent bugs from getting in. You remove it before drinking.

They have ice-cream in many flavors! We see strawberry milk in the related event.

The park had candy and popcorn in “apple core” flavor. Supposedly, this is a taste inspired by the story of the Generous Fox giving a Puppet Boy an apple core instead of a whole apple because “the puppet wished to have a core”.

There is a “Candy Road”, a street lined with shops that have caramel lollipops, chewy candy, marshmallows, cookies, chocolate crunch, and lots of other sugary treats!

Their chocolate crunch has 12 different charms thrown in.

The third most popular souvenir are pasta snacks in the shape of the Friendly Fox and Gentle Cat. The second most popular is a tin of plain cookies in the shape of the Friendly Fox and cocoa cookies in the shape of the Gentle Cat. Finally, the most popular are apple core flavored candies!

Sage's Island

Night Raven College

Pomefiore holds a welcome party for the freshmen, which includes a fancy dinner. Savanaclaw does not hold a welcome party.

Scarabia regularly holds banquets, typically at Kalim's request.

Heartslabyul holds "unbirthday parties" whenever it is a day that does NOT fall on a Heartslabyul student's birthday. Sweets are mandatory at unbirthday parties.

The dorm members of Scarabia and Heartslabyul pitch in to prepare for banquets and unbirthday parties.

Mr. S's Mystery Shop stocks food items, such as candies (which Floyd often buys), tuna cans, and ingredients for baking (this is where Deuce and Yuu pick up things for the chestnut tart in book 1). Sam also sells food items that he seems to have made himself, like the Mystery Drink (which Octavinelle eventually buys the rights to).

The school cafeteria is said to have delicious breads.

Students can use the school kitchens outside of normal serving hours; Ruggie and Jamil sometimes do this, but they also have their own dormitory kitchens to cook.

Once a month, a famous bakery from out of town serves their goods at NRC. Their stock includes items such as chocolate croissants, egg sandwiches, yakisoba bread and cream bread ("cronuts and bear claws"), roast beef sandwiches, red bean buns ("hot dog buns"), and deluxe minced cutlet sandwiches ("deluxe ham and cheese"/"grilled cheese" in the localization). They sell out fast!

The school library includes recipes books. Some recipes include spicy curry soup, red pepper and tomato soup, and garlic pork habanero soup.

Basic school lunches are free to all students, but they must pay for changes or extra items.

The cafeteria at NRC serves food buffet style; the cafeteria is kept warm with magic from fire fairies which are supplied with dry firewood every day. There is also a rotating daily menu.

Master Chef ("Culinary Crucible") is an elective course at NRC that teaches students how to cook. It is meant to curb the expenses related to eating out and to help the boys maintain balanced diets and learn how to take care of themselves. Judges for this course are randomly selected from the students and staff (prior to this methodology, people would bribe the judges for extra credit).

While taking Master Chef, students help with preparing meals in the cafeteria in exchange for part-time pay.

The instructors for Master Chef are ghosts who were professional chefs at five-star restaurants when they were alive. These same ghosts also serve as cafeterias staff. Crowley says it was difficult but worthwhile to recruit them.

There are various locations on campus where the students go to fetch ingredients for Master Chef. This includes an on-campus farm, ranch, windmill... and even the dormitories themselves!

The woods behind the campus have chestnuts, which the main crew collect for an apology tart to Riddle.

The Botanical Garden has some edible plants growing there. These include strawberries, which the Science Club cultivates.

NRC opens its school gates to the local townspeople for a period leading up to Halloween; during this time, they distribute candy and other sweets (such as Sam's waffles, served with jam made from NRC's apples) to guests. There's also a party on Halloween night where lots of food is served.

Mostro Lounge

Octainvelle has the Mostro Lounge, described by Jade as "a meeting place for gentlemen" where fighting between dorms is prohibited. While dining there, students are expected to abide by Octavinelle's rules. It is run by the manager and founder, Azul, who made a deal with the headmaster to get the rights to open the establishment. NRC gets 10% of the revenue the Mostro Lounge makes.

Jade and Floyd partake in some cooking, but Azul does very little cooking. He tends to investigate the competition and market.

Jade uses the weeds and plants he collects from mountain hikes to brew experimental new teas. Sometimes Azul adds these drinks to the menu.

Floyd likes to experiment with making sauces. These, too, are featured in the lounge.

The lounge offers cakes with coral decorations. You can order one for your special occasions.

The Mostro Lounge is particular about its quality name-brand dishware. Azul believes that this will boost the experience customers have in the lounge.

The Octatrio bought the rights to the Mystery Drink from Sam and raised its price from 600 madol/6 thaumarks to 1500 madol/15 thaumarks.

The Mostro Lounge has a one-drink purchase minimum.

Menu items range from roughly 600 madol to 1500 madol (6 thaumarks to 15 thaumarks).

The menu rotates on a seasonal basis; this helps to cut down on costs since they can focus on cheaper in-season ingredients.

The Mostro Lounge also operates food stalls and/or sells food at many school events, such as the cultural festival in book 5 and the interdorm magical shift/spelldrive tournament in book 2.

It is mostly Octavinelle students who staff the Mostro Lounge, but there are occasions when outside students are brought in as extra help. Ruggie has worked there part-time, as well as Jack, Ace, Deuce, and tons of other students.

Unbirthday Party Rules (related to food)

Rule 25: There must be a tea party on the 5th of every month.

Rule 29: You must not eat the Queen's tarts without her permission.

Rule 153: The only tea you may drink in the evenings is herbal tea.

Rule 186: Do not eat hamburger steak on Tuesdays.

Rule 256: You must not drink lemonade with honey past 8 pm.

Rule 271: You must get up from the table within 15 minutes after eating lunch.

Rule 339: Your post-meal tea must be lemon tea with 2 sugar cubes.

Rule 529: If you eat steak on the night of a full moon, a cat must play the violin afterwards.

Rule 562: Do not bring chestnut tarts to an unbirthday party.

Rule 648: You must brush your teeth 2 times on nights when you eat turkey.

Rule 703: Whoever comes in 2nd place in a croquet match must serve tea to the Queen (dorm leader) the next day.

If the dormouse wakes up at an unbirthday party, you are to paint its nose with jam.

Coffee is forbidden; tea must be served at all occasions except for birthdays.

According to Cater, sweets are mandatory at unbirthday parties.

Dwarves' Mine & Silent Woods

There is an abundance of wildlife in these areas; Jade often goes hiking and foraging, making note of what he finds. He uses the plants to make his own tea blends (which are sometimes added to the Mostro Lounge's menu) and the herbs, plants, and mushrooms to experiment with in cooking.

There are fish to be found at the lake, including massive catfish.

The Foothill Town

There is a port for mainly cargo ships located at the southwest part of town. It's called Crane Port! The east side has a port as well, but that one is moreso for passengers. Crane Port has been getting fewer and fewer people passing through lately (until Port Breeze Fest, in which the NRC boys run food stalls and help to revive business in the area). Group A makes churros, Group B makes waffles, Group C makes salads, Group D makes cotton candy, and Group E makes clam chowder.

A popular restaurant in the Crane Port area serves foods like french fries and burgers. Their signature menu item is a donut made from potatoes. Actually, this restaurant specializes in potato dishes!

There is a chain restaurant on the island that also has locations elsewhere, including in Ace's hometown. He mentions that there are slightly different flavors to the sauces depending on which location you go to. This chain is also described as affordable for students and gives free refills. There is a location of this chain a car ride away from Harveston.

The town also has other eateries that are more geared towards students, seeing as it exists on an island with two notable magic schools to the north and the south. Cater often mentions going into town to take pictures at cafes.

The town has a public market; the Ramshackle Ghosts resell mandrakes there.

There is a famous patisserie there. You have to line up early in the morning before opening time to get your hands on one of their strawberry tarts (or anything, really!).

There is a stall in the marketplace that sells specialty coffee. They also have a tea which Crewel enjoys (though he also brews his own).

Scalding Sands

General

The Scalding Sands seems to borrow heavily from Middle Eastern cultures. For example, some of the Scalding Sands’ traditional dishes include, but are not limited to: roasted lamb, moussaka, döner kebabs, shawarma, flatbreads, potato and bean spreads, and seafood sautés.

Tea is a popular beverage; it is had at every meal and break. People can drink up to 10 cups of tea a day!

The Scalding Sands specializes in black tea. For entertaining guests, special tea leaves are used.

In the Scalding Sands, they brew their tea leaves loose and without an infuser. This makes the tea very strong and bitter. To counteract the powerful flavor, people add lots of sugar to their tea and drink it with sweets.

“Luxurious” tea is very sweet, since sugar was once very expensive (due to a shortage of it, according to the localization) and considered a luxury.

Due to the hot weather, people often toss herbs into their tea to make it more refreshing to drink.

Coffee is also popular; there are many cafes that serve coffee and tea. The Scalding Sands is known in particular for their spiced coffee, which has a very distinctive flavor. This coffee is brewed without a filter, and some cafes do “coffee divinations” (reading the shapes and patterns of the grounds and the water droplets that remain after drinking to tell the fortunes of customers).

There are a lot of unique spices in their dishes. This is especially true of banquet dishes. However, a variety of dishes are still served at these occasions.

Kalim describes the Scalding Sands as being “big on stewed stuff” like curries.

In Kalim’s hometown, people love to gather around the table and talk over a meal.

Halloween in the Scalding Sands is celebrated by feasting on a variety of dishes. The idea is that the food must be abundant so that the ghosts that return to the world of the living for the night may also have their fill.

It used to be difficult for the people of the Scalding Sands to obtain water due to the lack of rainfall, hot climate, and expansive desserts. However, Kalim’s ancestors utilized the country’s rivers to reach other countries and to trade their textiles, spices, tea leaves, and other local goods with foreign lands. It was particularly impressive at the time, as they were the first traders from the Scalding Sands to sail (back then, accurate nautical maps were not a thing). This maritime pioneering is what would make the Asim family their massive fortune.

The Asims and other merchants heavily invested in technologies and innovations to make the area more sustainable and potable water more accessible.

The waterways of the country eventually developed into canals and communities formed around them as trade hubs. The canals are also used to host ferryboats for locals and tourists to sightsee, boosting the tourism industry. This also made access to water much easier for the residents, and the water helps to cool the temperature.

Silk City

The bazaars in Silk City are where locals do their shopping for various goods and staple foods like vegetables and fish. There are also stalls with gourmet food that cater to tourists.

Camel Bazaar is named after camels, which were used to transport people, goods, and luggage before Silk City’s canals and roads came to be. There also used to be an oasis where the camels would rest and drink after long treks; this oasis became a center for commerce and eventually evolved into a marketplace. To this day, the name “Camel” has stuck, even if people use trucks, ships, and cars more than camels.

There is also Zahab (”Gold”) Market, which is popular with tourists for shopping (especially for souvenirs!) but also has swindlers and pickpockets mixed in with regular customers.

Many snacks are sold! There’s camel milk chocolate, cookies drizzled in syrup, sunflower seeds, pistachios, chickpeas, all kinds of nuts, dried fruits (including dates), jams, jellies, syrups, starfruit, dragonfruit, etc. 

(Lamb) shawarma is described as meat roasted on a spit and served on baguettes or pita bread. Because grease drips off while it cooks, it is “surprisingly healthier” than one expects it to be. Shawarma is also customarily served with vegetables (tomatoes, onions, olives, jalapenos, etc.) and sauces (yogurt, garlic, chili, hummus (a paste of garlic and chickpeas), mayo basil, etc).

There is a vendor that can supply large quantities of sweet and refreshing coconut water; this is because they’re used to providing for Kalim’s extravagant and excessive tastes. They create a hole in the top and provide straws to poke in and use to drink the water. The coconut flesh inside is also edible.

There are a lot of bread stalls; bread is also another staple food, and it comes in many sizes, shapes, and textures. Small roadside bakeries have wood-fired ovens which allow them to serve bread fresh to customers.

One stand sells baguettes that are taller than many children; these “tower baguettes” are a famous Fireworks Festival treat. People say that if you eat a big one, you’ll never go hungry again! The saying comes from a story of a young man that shared bread with hungry children. It’s because of that story that baguettes are considered a good luck food that many vendors sell on holidays.

The Camel Bazaar sells an elastic ice-cream (based on a similar irl frozen Turkish confection). It is kneaded on a pole and stretched out; customers are meant to “catch” it in their cups and cones. It’s food performance art! All the stretching makes the texture very unique.

There’s a fruit stand that is only open on festival days which sells a Silk Melon sundae; the fruit is hollowed out to host ice-cream (of the same melon flavor!) and toppings which make it very photogenic.

Starfruit is usually put in salads, according to Trey.

The dragonfruit sold is recommended to be eaten with honey. You drizzle it on top of a slice and eat!

Silk City’s signature fruit is the Silk Melon. It is called that because of its silky texture and sophisticated sweetness. It can’t be found in many other countries. The man of legend that shared his bread with a starving child is said to split a melon with his friend, even though he did not have much money to spare. It’s because of this tale that people started saying if you share Silk Melon with someone, it would make your friendship or romance last forever. Now the fruit is a festival staple and considered a symbol of good fortune.

In the past, water was only used for irrigation due to its scarcity. Some gave up on farming after years of trying to produce crops and failing—but others refused to give up and cultivated the land to made it fertile, something which future generations would reap the benefits of.

The fruits and veggies sold Camel Bazaar are freshly picked and grown locally. Jamil says this is possible because the arid climate actually helps with growing crops of high quality. Produce raised with less water concentrates flavor since the final fruit will have a higher sugar content. Because of this, Silk City’s produce is prized by chefs all over Twisted Wonderland. Of course, you can get them at an affordable prize in Camel Bazaar!

Shaftlands

General

The Shaftlands are famous for its jeweled pineapples.

The Shaftlands spans a large area of land and has drastically different climates depending on the part of it you're looking at. Therefore, we can deduce that foods and customs surrounding food are very different as well.

City of Flowers/Fleur City

The city’s food culture seems to be inspired by real world Paris, or at the very least, France.

Bread is a local specialty, particularly very buttery kinds. As you walk down the streets, you can smell bread baking. The City of Flowers has 10x (or more) the variety of bread that Sage's Island offers, and has an abundance of bakeries too.

Bread-making is popular in the City of Flowers. The windmills at the edges of the city grind grains to produce fresh flour. There are also watermills powered by the Soleil River to assist with making flour.

Because wheat is plentiful in this area, some of it is also used for desserts. One such confection is financier, which is made from a combination of wheat flour, almond flour, and butter. It resembles a gold bar, so eating one is said to bring financial prosperity.

Lately, gluten-free desserts have been trendy.

A dessert that does not use wheat flour is macarons. In the City of Flowers, they are yellow and shaped like bells to honor the Bell of Salvation which oversees the community and provides magic that helps rare plants grow in the area. The filling is a ganache with dried bits of grapes and apples.

Grape juice is popular in the City of Flowers, as the fruit is another specialty. You can buy the grapes raw and eat them as is, or ask a vendor to crush it (skin still on!) into juice for you. Some buy the grapes to give as gifts!

The grapes are grown in vineyards right outside of the city, and the farmers are constantly experimenting to improve their breeds. They taste very rich, tangy, and sweet.

The City of Flowers is also known for its many specialty cheese shops. Together, bread and cheese are called the staple foods of the city, and are sometimes eaten together. One specialty cheese shop the boys visit sells baguettes topped with ham and rich melted cheese.

The city considers goats a symbol of good luck, so they are treated with care. There are many community goats (which are just as common as domesticated cats or dogs) allowed to roam freely in the city. It is said that if you treat the community goats with kindness, they will come rescue you in your time of need.

Goat milk is used in some of the specialty cheeses produced by the city. The grapes mentioned earlier are also made into fruit compotes to go with the cheeses.

Harveston

This village has many dishes that borrow from a mixture of irl Nordic cultures. There’s also an emphasis on having hometown pride and the community itself being very close.

Crows often damage the apples Harveston grows. The community comes together to put up nets and make noises to scare them off.

As expected, many of Harveston's dishes feature apples: apple pie, grilled and roasted apples, apple salad, apple pound cakes, etc.

Epel's family has an apple orchard that has been in the family for generations. They grow different kinds of apples throughout the year. Many of his neighbors are older people who also raise produce, and they help each other out when they're short on hands. The community is very tightly knit because of this, and treat each other like extended family.

Harvest season (autumn) is the busiest time of year; once that's over, everyone comes together to have a party. It's a potluck style celebration where everyone brings a homemade dish or homegrown food to share.

Harveston preserves its produce (such as apples and wild greens) by pickling them and serving them in salads. The bright colors are maintained by boiling the produce in a copper pot, which stabilizes the pigments. It's wisdom passed down from generation to generation.

There is also pickled herring, traditionally eaten on bread. Brining preserves the fish while it is still raw and doesn't dry it up. It's ready to eat right out of a jar, no cooking required.

The local stew is not very thick. It tastes sweet because of the added vegetables and savory because of the tender meat in it. There is also a salmon broth sprinkled with herbs which is described as "melty".

Fruits and vegetables can be packed in snow to keep them preserved. This method is called “snow aging” and prevents evaporation. In the old days, the villagers would build whole farms out of snow. In modern day, they just shovel the snow into a barn. This creates a natural fridge that will naturally thaw in the summers. Snow aging in this manner makes the produce sweeter and more nutritious.

The next town over is a three-hour bike ride. The roadside has many apple trees you can enjoy during the trip.

You can easily pick apples off the branch and eat them fresh! Farmers can snack on apples while picking.

Harveston is surrounded by tall mountains that are snow-capped all year, the most famous one being Mt. Moln. The greenery around Harveston is due to the spring water irrigation which runs down from Mt. Moln.

Most of Harveston’s land is used for orchards, and apples are their main produce. They also make many products using those apples like chips, rice crackers, and cookies.

Fall apples are sweeter, while winter ones are more sour. Winter apples are unique to Harveston.

Harveston also grows a lot of garlic.

Harveston farming is done the old fashioned way, as the predominantly older population distrusts chemical fertilizers and biotechnology.

Some villagers like the mayor and Marja (Epel’s grandma) adjust their accent to communicate with people from outside the village. Marja says she switches up when she’s selling goods in another town, since it can be tricky for non-Harveston locals to understand.

Hand washing before eating is a must! They take the act very seriously in Harveston. Stories say the miners of the past used to get very sick due to poor hygiene, but their health improved drastically once they started washing regularly with soap and water. It was difficult for them to get treatment because the town is so remote and far from hospitals or doctors, so the best thing is stressing prevention. This why the townspeople are sticklers about hand washing now.

To wash the Harveston way, you plunge your hands into ice cold water and make it all foamy with soap. You also scoop the water up and splash your face as well (as the miners from the past would also do this).

Apple Square is the main festival venue; it has many vendor stalls in an area called Kokko (which means “Bonfire”) Market. The Sledathon is the most lucrative time of year for the townsfolk.

Many of their products are made locally by the older folks in town. The goods aren’t trendy or very fancy, but they’re high-quality and made with Harveston pride.

The stalls give apple juice, apple tea (which has fruit pieces floating in it), and apple ginger tea for free. The apple juice is one of Harveston’s most popular products.

Giant five-meter apple pies are made for the Sledathon. They’re considered one of the main attractions, and you can get a slice from them free of charge.

There are other stalls that sell regular apple pie too. Every vendor has their own style, from the apples used to the crust and baking technique.

There are other kinds of fruit pies for sale, but apples are the most popular and “special” ones. The Beautiful Queen had a preference for apple pies, so the townspeople do too.

Harveston apple pies have such an entrancing flavor that the nearest city has stores that stock them. Critics say that Harveston apple pies make anyone drool and that the best way to convince someone to do you a favor is to gift one.

Harveston holds an apple competition to find the reddest apple. This is because the Beautiful Queen prized beautifully red apples. In the past, the townspeople would offer the reddest apple from the season’s harvest to the Beautiful Queen. Over time, it evolved into the apple competition.

Kokko Market makes pancake balls from a flour batter and top it with jam. It’s prepared in a pan and with methods similar to takoyaki, coming out crispy on the outside and fluffy on the inside.

Pancakes also come in a square form. In Harveston, pancakes are baked in the oven instead of on the stove. Some people cook pancakes in the fireplace too; this makes them tender, thick, and pudding-like.

There are many grains used for bread: sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, oats, flax seeds, sesame seeds, rye, wheat...

Barbeque is served for large gatherings and celebrations.

Cooking tends to be done in the fireplace instead of on a stove, especially in the case for stews. It keeps the room warm in winter while the food cooks.

Harveston has a bean and fruit soup. Most other places serve it cold, but those in Harveston sometimes enjoy it warm. It’s a thick consistency and the fruit in it has been dried.

When setting the dining table, people in Harveston leave one extra plate out. This tradition comes from a story about a traveler visiting a family’s house and being surprised by the messy state of it. The traveler cleaned the house and cooked a nice meal for the family. From this story came the belief that as long as you leave a plate at your table, you’ll never want for food or go hungry.

Sandwich cakes are common party centerpieces. They are made with bread and vegetables, topped with shrimp, deviled eggs, olives, apples, and salmon slides arranged in a rose shape. The frosting on it is made from mayonnaise and sour cream, making sandwich cakes more salad than dessert.

They sell cherries and other berries by volume. Also sold are vegetables and juice, freshly squeezed.

Because Harveston is located in a mountainous region, there are rare varieties of mushrooms to be found. These can be served in a traditional mushroom soup, which can be finicky to prepare (so usually only experts make it). Mushrooms are also cooked in butter and served in sandwiches.

Mushrooms, herbs, and flowers are foraged from the nature (both public mountains and private woods). Locals usually don’t buy plants that are wild when they can pick it themselves. Instead, they’re sold to tourists.

Good foraging spots on Moln Mountain are kept secret so people don’t overharvest. The mountains are dangerous in winter, so foraging has to be done in spring or summer.

Harveston brines raw fish like salmon in a mixture of salt, sugar, pepper, and fill. In the old days, brined salmon was buried in sand to let it ferment.

Fish is dried to preserve it and to enhance the flavor. Before there were proper roads, it was hard to bring in food for the winter, so Harveston relied on foods preserved in the spring. They last for a long time and have many uses (such as in soup stock or to eat straight up). To this day, preserved meats and vegetables are a local specialty and new methods such as roasting have been developed for preservation.

Sunset Savanna

General

The food here appears to be inspired by African cultures of the real world.

Fruit is more plentiful than grains.

There is floral cacao in the Sunset Savanna. It bears fruit only once every 10 years.

Gummy bugs are popular and a Halloween staple.

The people of the Sunset Savanna value living in harmony with nature and will go out of their way to adapt to the land (due to the high population of beastmen, who have animal ancestors). Because of this, they oppose change that could damage the environment. There are some parts of this arid country that still rely on wells for their drinking water needs. They also hold the Tamashina-Mina festival every year to pray for rain.

Sautéed mutton is a common meal in this country. Leona brags that the Sunset Savanna is top notch when it comes to cooking meats.

The bananas of the Sunset Savanna are starchy and resemble potatoes (similar to plantains). They are steamed and served as a staple food. They’re faintly sweet and are actually very light and easy to digest.

It’s easier to grow fruit instead of wheat and rice in their climate.

Rice hull crepes, another staple, are served with a stew that you pour over it. The stew comes in variants such as a white fish stew simmered in tomato sauce, spinach and potato stew, beef stew, etc. There are also many side dishes you can enjoy with the crepes. The crepes aren’t meant to be eaten alone, as they taste too sour solo.

The phrase “that’s the Circle of Life” is a proverb that has been around for ages. The strong eat the weak, then when the strong die, their bodies become nutrients for the grass which feeds the next generation of prey animals. Life comes “full circle”, and the proverb indicates this delicate balance.

The Sunset Savanna is famous for its coffee. It tastes spicy, not bitter, because the custom is to add spices to the drink.

Food prep performances seem to be common for the wealthy; Leona mentions seeing big fish filleted before being served.

Yogurt is considered a “healthy dairy” and is typically served for breakfast.

Elephant Graveyard

The Elephant Graveyard, once considered a scary and lawless place (the “shadow lands” which were not a part of the original kingdom), has become a tourist destination—something akin to a spa.

They are known for selling vanilla cookies shaped like bones.

The hot springs at the Elephant Graveyard have kettles hidden by the steam. The hot water vapor cooks onsen tamago (a traditionally Japanese irl dish) and puddings. It imparts a slightly salty and sulfurous flavor and smell to the foods.

Sunrise City

The Raintree Market is a bazaar that features many foods and drinks.

Many snacks sold in the marketplaces are local specialties, so they’re popular as souvenirs.

Wild and cultivated hibiscus flowers are boiled with sugar to produce a red juice. There is also a white juice, which is made using wild baobab (which is full of nutrients; people call it a beauty elixir you can drink). A legends says that, long ago, members of the royal family would have their foreheads painted with baobab juice when they were born. That’s how the fruit became a local specialty.

In the original tale, the juice for marking foreheads was red. It seems that, over time, the color was changed to white by word of mouth, with the latter description fitting more with the white fruit of the baobab. Because of this change, more and more stalls have been selling a mixture of hibiscus juice and baobab juice.

The baobab fruit is also used to make a particular sour candy. The candy is dyed with red food coloring and is then dusted with sugar and chili powder. It’s described as having a “mature” flavor. Leona has liked this candy since he was a child.

Mangoes are a local specialty! Vendors will happily cut open the fruit for you to enjoy on the spot.

Other notable fruits for sale are tart passionfruit and creamy but smelly jackfruit. The latter is considered the largest fruit in Twisted Wonderland and grows on its tree’s trunks.

The Sunset Villa is a luxurious hotel that hosts VIPs and important guests of the state. They offer a large selection of drinks (fruit juice, black tea, coffee…) and serve whole slabs of steak in front of you before serving at luxurious barbecues. After dinners, they have dance performances.

There is an enormous sausage that’s wrapped up in a coil. If unwound, it’s a meter long. It’s meant to be cut with scissors before eating. The sausage’s herbs make it taste refreshing, and its meat is finely grounded to allow its flavors to come through.

Seafood is fresh and cheap, provided you live by the sea or in a coastal region like Dawn City. In more inland areas, seafood is considered a luxury.

Their seafood tends to be cooked with strong spices.

Ruggie’s yet-to-be-named hometown

Because the residents are poor, their food is usually made from collected scraps (such as pumpkin pie made predominantly from the pulpy parts) or prepared with substitutions and without extra flourishes. For example, Ruggie’s grandma prepares homemade donuts for his birthday but they couldn't afford fancy toppings (until Ruggie started working to bring in extra income).

It’s implied that there were instances when Ruggie (and presumably others from his hometown) had to eat rotten food or out of trash cans to get by.

Queendom of Roses

General

There is reference to some irl UK foods in this region, such as the jacket potato.

The Queendom of Roses is famous for its rose jelly rolls. Roses are the flower the country is best known for, of course, but they also have lavender, rosemary, sweet violet, foxglove, bluebells, and many berries.

People from this country eat flowers (which are specifically grown for eating). Flowers are also used for dried flower bookmarks? potpourri, etc.

The Queendom has a good selection of breads.

Apparently, the Queendom also has a strong “tea culture”.

People in the Queendom of Roses eat a lot of different pastries (pies, tarts, quiches, croissants, etc). Croissant donuts (cronuts) in particular have been pretty trendy lately. They’re donuts made with croissant batter, so they come out super flaky. They are sometimes sold with iced tea as a combo.

Potatoes are a staple food.

Jacket potatoes are common at festivals; they are potatoes baked with the skin (ie “jacket”) still on. The standard topping for them is baked beans, but you can also have tuna mayo corn, bean chili, sour cream, avocado, and other things.

Anyone that grew up in the Queendom of Roses has probably done the “cookie smash” at least once as a kid. (More info on this under the “Clock Town” section!)

The Queendom is known for lavender, berries, and rosemary.

Riddle and Trey's yet-to-be-named hometown

Trey's family owns a bakery (called "Patisserie Clover" according to the TWST manga). It seems to be a small "mom and pops" shop with no particular notoriety. However, the manga implies that it was the Clover bakery where Riddle saw the strawberry tarts and became entranced by them. This is also where Riddle would later try his first strawberry tart.

In Riddle and Trey's hometown, people enjoy apple bobbing during the Halloween season.

Before interview: Riddle was worried whether they can start on time and was relieved when Vil showed up and Vil was pretty smug about it lmao

There is a farm not too far from where Riddle lives; it is famous for its ice-cream buns. There is also a cafe located on the farm! It opened shortly after Riddle entered NRC and is so popular that it’s spoken about in magazines and tourists go there just to sample their sweets.

Clock Town

The people of Clock Town value time and punctuality due to the town's connection to the White Rabbit, who was always in a hurry. Many of the foods sold at stalls are things that are easy to hold and eat while walking, such as sliced sandwiches.

The Clock Town Folk Museum mentions a girl that appears in the story of the White Rabbit. She ate cookies that made her grow large; the museum recreates this experiment by projecting a large image of guests that eat cookies they have set out.

The Clock Town Folk Museum also runs a bugle-playing contest. The participation prize is a carrot cookie.

Clock Town sells a brand of potato chips with the White Rabbit logo on them.

The town also sells cookies iced to look like a pocket watch. The icing is made from a mixture of sugar and egg whites (“royal icing”) which hardens considerably. You’re meant to crush the cookie with a hammer to make it into smaller pieces, making it easier to eat. It’s based on the story of the White Rabbit breaking his pocket watch. Others tried to help him fix it by hitting it with a hammer, but it didn’t help at all, only damaged it more!

A lot of people enjoy growing plants, gardening, and horticulture, including stuff that can be eaten like herbs.

Sausage rolls are served in pairs to resemble bunny ears; the container they come in resembles the White Rabbit. They’re sausages wrapped in a pie crust/puff pastry dough, and come in cheese (with a shortcrust pastry similar to what is used for tarts to help hold its shape) and a spicy sausage (with a puff pastry that makes it flaky) variant for the White Rabbit Festival.

There are large mushrooms that grow in Clock Town; eating one side will turn you large, eating the other side will turn you small. The girl in the story of the White Rabbit has eaten these strange mushrooms before. These mushrooms are said to be enchanted and only work in a particular area; its effects last for ~1 minute after eating.

[easy-there-leftovers]

I See You, Darling (3)

[Astarion x reader] As I mentioned in a previous post, this came along surprisingly easier than the last one. The same can’t be said about the quality though maybe– sorry for that. :,DDD|Word count: 2.6k.| 

Content Warnings: Mentions of cooking, handling knives, blood, one sex joke (lol), the normal warnings that you’d associate with the game

Part 2 here!!

Next Part here!!

As an outsider to most of everyone’s problems, you find your place by helping in whatever way you can. Even if that may be at the expense of your own comfort, but at least it’s been fun so far.

Alternatively: Reader can't catch a break from anything, can they?

————━─━────༺༻────━─━————

Being resident camp caretaker was surprising, for lack of a better term. You were away from the stresses of technology, corporate assholes, and disappointing family with your choice to pursue unpractical careers. Instead living the “cottagecore lifestyle” of foraging for food and cooking with a cauldron that those from the digital world claimed to be the best. What they failed to mention were the incessant pests coming in to nibble through rucksacks if you were not careful, and the occasional swarms of ants or flies coming in to nip at your flesh.

The experience was a mixed bag, so it would seem. But the tired smiles that the group would give you when you greet them with a warm and filling meal was always a comfort that you would have.

And it would seem they needed it now more especially than ever.

Your band of misfits planned to venture out and defeat the goblins at their camp in order to aid the tieflings’ journey to Baulder’s Gate. Per your instruction, you convinced the more solipsistic members of the benefits of eradicating the sect. Namely, they wouldn’t hinder you as much in the future if they were taken care of. Hence your plan to slightly increase the amount of portions for supper tonight.

By twilight, you had a good broth steeping in your cauldron. The camp having returned just a few moments prior from an earlier excursion. You were making a pottage that the others have expressed their enjoyment for. A stew of sorts that you had made when you had quite the number of items that would have spoiled before consumption had you not done anything about it. A mixture of fruits and meat, stewed in a consomme of a pig’s head and various mushroom caps. 

This time around, you’ll be using fresher ingredients to hopefully lift their spirits.

As you’re chopping up fruits, you think about all that’s happened to you and possible explanations for why your character suddenly ceased to exist in order to make room for you.  What’s more is that no matter how many nights pass, you never end up waking from your dream. Which you fear is lasting longer than your usual ones.

Your working theory is that whatever force, be it magic or fate, tethering you to this world is also responsible for removing Tav. Astarion claimed that he couldn’t remember the finer details when you had confronted  him. And so you settled with that hypothesis. That like how a thread that unravels opens a seam in a garment, a new thread must be used to darn the cloth together again.

You laugh at the disgustingly poetic analogy you created in your head. You fear that you’re becoming more and more deranged as—

“My, aren’t you busy?” The intrusive voice causes the knife to slip out of your hand a bit, thankfully only cutting off a portion of your index finger’s nail. Your shoulders, that were raised in alarm, release their tension after feeling the sudden chill leave your body.

“Astarion,”  Exasperated, you put the knife down on the cutting board to catch your breath for a while. 

“I would greatly appreciate it if you stopped sneaking up on me when I’m doing something dangerous.”

The high-elf offers a mischievous smile in response. “Very sorry, pet. But it’s hardly my fault when you’ve barely been paying attention to me.” There’s regret in his words, but not in his tone.

Because while perhaps it’s an odd interest, he enjoys hearing the quickened pace of your heart. The pulse getting louder, as it stays that way for longer.

“I’d feel sorry for doing so if you were too, but you’re not.”

You laugh out, breath still shaky but steadying slowly, as you pick up your knife again.

 “I heard you’re part of the encampment that’s finishing off the goblins by midmorn.” Chopping the rest of the fruits, you feel his presence move from behind you to off to your side so you can see him from your peripherals.

“Hm? Yes. Although I would have preferred if we didn’t do this at all. It’s too much work, and the goblins could be entertaining! Killing useful spoils seems like an awful waste.” 

This must be the reason why he approached you, to persuade you to call off the hunt. And his unfading smile supports that thought. When you voice said thought, it earns you a playful scoff.

“Don’t you have anything else on your mind other than the parasite lounging in it?”

The mood is light as you say this, the banter welcomed by you both. 

And as you continue to converse, a few eyes begin to follow the two of you. They’ve never really seen Astarion interact with you for this long, at least not away from your private spaces. And even less without hushed voices. The interlocution is definitely a welcome spectacle to them. 

“On my honor, the only thing on my mind is depraved, carnal lust.” He says, proudly. Gesturing to himself with one hand, and the other held high like he was swearing an oath. 

Your closed mouth drops into frown, eyes wide, and your eyebrows skew upwards. A very undignified, but small, squeak coming from the back of your throat. You swore you heard someone groan in disappointment from far away too.

You know full well that the look of shock that you were sporting was by no means attractive, but the flagrant revelation, though not at all out of character, was shocking to have directed towards you. You’ve been trying to romance the elven vampire with your character, only to end up nowhere. Therefore you are completely unsure if the dialogue he was spewing was completely a figment of your imagination, or is, indeed, canon.

The elf in question has seen this expression of yours before. Quite often, too. And while he doesn’t think it a, “pleasant sight,” it is rather… charming to him. 

Whether it be on purpose or not, people have the tendency to be on guard around him, preserving any twitch and sound that could give them away to themselves. Not that much had ever evaded him before with his naturally cunning behavior. But this clearly unscripted response, with the blatant confusion swimming in your eyes, is a rather refreshing sight to see.

“I see–” you clear your throat to lower your voice back to its normal octave. “Well, I’m sure you’ll have plenty of opportunities to uh, bring those thoughts into fruition! Uh–,” You slide the rest of the cut fruits off of your cutting board and into the stew. 

“Is there anything else you wanted to tell me? Something I should know?” You turn to face him. He laughs at first, but then his brows furrow in question, as if he did have something to say and forgot about it or thinks it is no longer an appropriate time to ask. He shakes his head and says something along the lines of, “letting you do all the hard work” and returns to his tent.

But you are not left alone for long as another member of your little ragtag team joins you to ask about dinner. To which you ask them for which meat would be better to toss into it. 

—————————

After dinner, your little rapport concerning the plan and new findings with everyone is adjourned. Some thanked you before they left, and others simply walked away. From what you have learned from them, the Archdruid that was taken prisoner by the goblins was named, “Halsin.” He was a topic of interest as they said he might be able to aid you in your search for moonrise and understanding the Mindflayer worms.

Wyll had also approached you alone after dinner and offhandedly mentioned a dead boar being on the road. He had planned to return to camp with it if it could have been useful, but he had claimed that the animal had been unnervingly light. As if half of its weight was no longer there despite seemingly just keeling over for no reason.

You take note of that in one of your many journals, including additional information about the Archdruid and their kind in general. The book appearing more and more like the game’s quest booklet, with the exception of a few crossouts and colored ink to emphasize each quest’s urgency and relevance to finding a cure. When you successfully rescue the druid of the grove, it seems you will have to move out quite soon after, so you fixed up your pack just a bit to make it easier later on.

You look around, everyone seems to be in their respective areas. Doing whatever it is they usually do  with the exception of Astarion. Though he has been known to either sneak off or hide away from time to time in his tent, so you think nothing of it.

You return to the communal chest, tallying up the remaining supplies and inspecting the wares. You sort the tradeable objects in one rucksack and appraise its worth. The chest also has pieces of gold, some that others have placed, and others you picked up and added. You prefer to let the others keep what they think is valuable to them, and only place what they want to share in the vessel. 

If the party’s gold ever runs out, you think that the rucksack is worth a few nights of food when you travel out again. Assured by this knowledge, you placed your writing materials back in, closed the chest, and turned in for the night.

Maybe this time, you’ll wake up. But you also don’t really want to. Not just yet. 

—————————————

As you slept, you wondered about the longevity of your knowledge of the media. You hadn’t finished the game, and although you’ve accomplished a fair bit of it, you worry about how you will face the events to come. One of the only reasons why you haven’t flinched so much at the terrors that occurred was because you had anticipated them. Braced yourself for the dangers ahead.

You fear what might happen when you no longer have that power at your disposal.

Perhaps it's the worry, perhaps it's the stiff, compact ground that you have yet to be accustomed to sleep on despite the bedroll, or perhaps it's the presence of something suddenly cool that stirs you awake. 

But what you did not expect was Astarion’s face hovering over yours to be the reason. Fangs bared, and ready to bite. Your eyes go wide and you let out a small gasp, hands moving up in a gesture akin to clawing at yourself. 

The elf realizes that you’re awake now and he curses. Moving away as you scramble upright just like you did all those nights ago. The look of genuine fear at the prospect of being bitten is apparent on your face, and he feels almost guilty to be greeted with it.

“Please, I wasn’t going to hurt you— I just needed, well, blood.” He says it in a panic. Worried that you might run off, losing his only sure chance, and possibly enraging the rest of the camp.

In this moment, you realized the error in your ways. Astarion had been hunting nearly every other night in the same area. And if you were progressing through the events like how the game did, he couldn’t have had the time nor energy to venture too far after feeding from most of the creatures in the vicinity.

‘The exsanguinated boar…’ You remember.

“You’ve been feeding on animals for the past few nights, haven’t you?”

“It seems like word got around then.” Although unknowingly, he’s referencing what Wyll delivered to you earlier in the night.

“I’m not some monster, I feed on boars, deer, kobolds– whatever I can get. I’m just too slow right now. And with the damned excursion,” He stops himself, complaining is only doing worse for his condition.

“It’s not enough. I feel so…weak. If I just had a little blood, I could think clearer. Fight better.” You’re conflicted. You had no problem offering yourself as your character for him to feed on, but even witnessing that through a disconnected screen was enough to make you feel uncomfortable imagining it. You care about him, want to give him what he deserves, but this…

What’s more is that you know what he’s saying is necessary, not at all overstating how dire his need to satiate his hunger is, making it all the more difficult.

He needs to convince you, if he wants to continue on, that is. Without the presence of the illithid, he resorts to more practical means of doing so. Similar to what he did to many.

Noticing the slight tremor of your hands, he takes the chance to slowly kneel down on your bedroll. Closing the distance between you. He takes your hand, now rougher from the work you do, and meets your shaken gaze with his dark eyes.

“Please. I only need a taste, I swear.” He had meant to tell you before dinner, had he not felt the eyes of the others on the two of you. This discovery is not lost on you. He needs you specifically. And you realize it's out of convenience because you’re an expendable resource. If you pass, the group can venture on, but he also still needs you alive for whatever reason. He can’t have the others finding out, not until they trust him. 

He needs you to trust him. And this is the only way you can help him in this moment.

With that, you strengthen your resolve. 

“I…I trust you, Astarion. But no more than what you need.” A dangerous bet, but you hope it would be worth it.

“Really? I–”

 “Can I trust you on that?” The shock on his face fades, and he agrees.

“Let’s make ourselves comfortable, shall we?” You lay down, preparing yourself to faint during the process and allowing your blood to flow throughout your body. He observes the rapid movement of your eyes as he drapes himself above you. Your sight flitting from anywhere but him and then returning all the same. No doubt that you fear being at his mercy.

He feels almost sorry that you have to do this for him.

So he graces you with what mercy he can give.

The bite is quick. You would have felt the flesh of your neck parting for him, had he not done so. You feel tears prick at your eyes and start to feel the area from your neck and upwards go cold.

A momentary, sharp pain, that lulls to a chilling numbness in what seems like a matter of seconds.

You feel his body start to grow warmer at your expense and you feel satisfied knowing that you could help him.

When he doesn't stop, you start to worry.

Your breath catches in staccato beats, pulse quickening in tandem. You try to stop him, hands coming up to push or tug, but the heavy sensation that washes over you only permits them to find purchase on his form.

You try to speak, but it seems as if the common tongue does not reach him.

Your mind goes into overdrive, all of a sudden it doesn’t feel like a dream anymore and genuine fear courses through your veins.

You need him to stop, and you try to think of more efficient ways of doing so.

But your mind starts slowing as well. The pain has certainly faded, but the presence of the vampire at your throat reminds you in case you’ve forgotten.

As a last ditch effort, you try to use whatever might appeal to him, to break him out of the trance that he was in from finally replenishing himself. 

“Isalhal–” One of the few Elvish words you recalled.

The effort thankfully makes him pull back in shock, stopping him. Your eyes finally close, thankful for the reprieve you're finally granted. You hear a distant, “thank you,” and a more distant “shit” before rest takes over.

You worry about waking up tomorrow.

But for now, you’re thankful that Astarion will be able to fight well.

For himself and for everyone else’s sake.

━─━────༺༻────━─━

Thank you to @rey26, @shyminnie07, @lynnloveshobi, @iggee-rose, @automnepoet, @tiannamortis, @aoirohi, @sarkara211, @jane-3043, @h3110-dar1in9, @h3ll0k1ttyl0ver333, @mimziethealien, @squichymochi, @sharabay, @furblrwurblr, @dork-of-the-universe, @thedevilssinner, @fuckalrighty, @queenofthespacesquids, @perseny, @goldenplutus, @h4nluv, @awkward-d3rs3-dr3amer, and @auszimbo for asking to be tagged!!

[mochinomnoms]

Funny thought; Imagine PTM Jade (or regular Jade) attempting to get closer to Yuu, but Grim being Protective over Yuu is getting in his way (like an overprotective younger brother) and Grim is there to stop him every time he attempts to flirt with Yuu. But at the same time, he'll be terrified of Jade and hid behind Yuu shaking, but still yelling, "You have to get through me first!”

Jade trying to impress Yuu by luring her to a lovely picnic he had planned; it was his way of saying, "See how I can take care of you!" But before Yuu can taste any delicious food, he prepared; Grim storms in sabotaging their picnic together yelling stuff like "How dare you take my henchman while i was looking away!" or "You can't tempt my henchman with the promise of good food!" Before stuffing all the delicious food in his mouth eating it and then getting sick cuz he ate too much, so Yuu has to carry him back to the dorm leaving a smiling but annoyed Jade behind.

Or perhaps Jade invites Yuu for a hike in the mountains, enjoying their quiet but romantic hike together; collecting mushrooms, taking in the beautiful environment around them and Jade sliding a flower in Yuu's hair that he picked up earlier etc. Surely, a love confession near the waterfall would be the perfect opportunity to confess his feelings; only for Jade to get cut off AGAIN by rustling bushes and loudly panting. Grim followed them all the way up the mountain in secret, hoping onto Yuu's shoulder still out of breath. "Y-you can't confess to them in this creepy forest! That's my henchman! You can't take them away from me!" Before collapsing from exhaustion, lol.

So, yeah, the idea of Jade attempting to impress/courting Yuu only to fail and get cockblocked by Grim of all people sounds hilarious but maybe just maybe a couple of tuna cans might help.

Jade never expected Grim to be his biggest op, yet here he is. Fighting to get even a moment's peace to woo Yuu just for Grim to come barreling over and cause the biggest scene so that Yuu has no choice but to give their full undivided attention to him.

Jade would consider making Grim experience an “unfortunate” accident if it wasn't for the fact that he was your only family in this world, so he's gonna suck it up and figure out how to win Grim over.

(the secret is canned tuna, the expensive kind)

[caramelcleopatraa]

COGNAC QUEEN

word count: 1.9k

x: @heauxvibez asked someone to write something based off of Cognac Queen by Megan Thee Stallion (amazing song rec, I recommend you go stream the song) not proofread

content: 18+ mdni, Roman x Semeni (OC), dirty talk, oral (m and f receiving), cuddle fuck, a lil bitta fluff at the end

I'm lookin' paid and pretty (yeah)

Hair hanging down to my back, huh

I put it on him last night (woo!)

He calling me back to back, hey (hey)

Semeni sat with her legs crossed in the spacious, dazzling condominium. The big window panels showcasing the beautiful city lights. While these two were in their own little world. Far from the public eye. 

Her neon hot pink dress adorned with long ruffles perfectly outlined her figure. His eyes stayed on her plump lips as she sipped the amber drink from her glass. Relishing in the savory taste and enjoying the atmosphere he set.

Drop me a pin where you at (at)

I'm gonna come 'round like a 'Lac (like a 'Lac)

I get in my 'Gac on that 'Gac ('Gac on that 'Gac)

He call me Megan the Mack (Megan the Mack)

“You okay? You’re a little quiet.” Roman sits next to her, filling the empty space like a puzzle piece and putting the bottle on the gray coffee table. “I’m fine, I'm just watching you.” Semeni was never shy when it came to how she felt about him. They weren't in a serious relationship, but they spent their free time with each other. They never assigned a label to their relationship. They were just friends, who took each other out to expensive restaurants, spoiled each other, and fuck occasionally. Nothing special. 

He raises his eyebrow in amusement and motions to himself in an up and down motion. “You been looking at all of this, huh?” She takes one final sip from her glass, emptying it and placing it on the small coffee table. Roman observes her movements slyly, watching her beautiful eyes blink as she sits the glass on the table, watching her body rise as she takes a deep breath. She was mesmerizing.

“Yeah I have, and I want all of it,” Semeni says, placing her hands on his chest, feeling him up through his black polo shirt. He takes a deep breath, letting his eyes flutter shut from the feeling of her hands on his body. “I love feeling your hands on my chest,” he says softly. “I know you do, but I know you want my hands somewhere else.” 

He looks at her brown, gentle eyes and says, “So put ‘em there.”

—-------------------------

“Damn baby, that feels so good.” His black dress trousers were rolled down to his thighs, leaning back on the expansive gray couch with his arms laying on either side of him. Meanwhile, Semeni is kneeling in front of him, between his thick legs, stroking his dick at a medium pace. 

“You feel good baby?” His small whimpers and heavy breaths contrasted his tough exterior.

“F-fuckk baby, stay right there on the tip.”

A thick wad of spit drips from her lips, landing on his sensitive mushroom tip. Her hands cup the tip, fastly bobbing her hand on his tip. God did he go wild. His head tilted back, letting the pleasure take over him.

“Y’wanna cum?” He pants and nods furiously, clutching onto the big couch cushions to stop himself from bucking his hips into her hand. “You know I wanna fuckin’ cum.” His head stays tilted back. He knew not to look in her eyes. If he did, then it was over for him. “Look at me, Roman,” she says, using her unoccupied hand to rub up and down his thigh. He laughs to himself at her request, knowing that she is trying to set him up. “I know what you’re trying to do, sweetheart.” She pouts to herself, surprised that he didn’t fall for her usual tactics. ‘Okay, let’s try again’ 

“Please look at me, daddy. I wanna see your eyes when you cum.” He lets out a deep throaty moan, still clutching onto the couch cushions. Her voice, her words, her hands, how good she was making him feel. Doing all of the right things to make him crazy. Which is why he can never get enough of her. And probably why he was looking into her captivating eyes now. Frozen and still, but somehow on fire. “There we go daddy, look me in my eyes when you cum,” She purrs, shifting from side to side, ignoring the overflowing pool of wetness forming in her shorts. 

She stuck out her tongue and held him at the base, tapping him against her tongue, but going back to his tip once again. There were no more passive grunts and groans, only melodic moans that filled their ears. Her eyes locked on his, as she put her hands behind her back, using her tongue to lick the underside of his dick before taking him in his mouth. “Oh shit~ I'm coming. Ohh fuckk-” His fingers weaved through Semeni’s brown hair, jerking his hips into her mouth. She moaned around his cock every time he met the back of her throat, swallowing every drop he gave her without complaint. “Damn, girl,” he pants out, taking his hand out of her hair. She tightens her lips around him, sucking him up one more time before she’s done. She wears a lopsided smirk on her face, watching him catch his breath. Pride surged through her. “My mouth felt that good, huh?” Roman lays down against the couch, shifting and positioning himself so that he is comfortable. “Need to take a nap big bo- “Get your ass up here and sit on my face.”

He know I only wanna

Come over put it on him

I got that woah-na-na-na

He drink that shit like water

She anchored herself by tightly grasping the dark gray couch. Singing out delicious moans. Letting him hungrily lick her up into oblivion. Staring into empty space as her eyes crossed numerous times, but focussing hard enough to see his wavy black hair spread out beneath her. Feeling his hands dig into her thighs, working his mouth in ways that make her cry out in pleasure. 

Now it was her time to become undone.

“Oooh- shit~ i’m close,” She pants, prompting to lick long bold stripes along her pussy, and sucking on her clit for a quick second. And he repeats. Creating a ferocious, unescapable cycle.

Her keens of pleasure and needy whining didn’t fall on deaf ears, only encouraging him to keep going. Humming into her pussy like he took the first bite of a delicious meal. She could feel her legs shaking against his face, despite the burly hands and arms wrapped around her legs to keep her in place. “Fuck- i’m finna cum on your face, daddy,” she says slurred, with flushed cheeks and half open eyes. Just as she finished her sentence, like clockwork, she came all over his face. Softly bucking her hips against his tongue, riding out the enormous wave with his tongue as her surfboard. Now she herself was covered in a thin sheet of sweat, breathing heavy on top of him. But she couldn’t get up, his arms were still wrapped around her thighs. “At least let me clean you up before fucking you into the mattress.”

Fall in love would be dangerous (yeah)

Fuck you like I've been dranking (uh)

Cognac on my blankets (yeah)

Real bitches don't fake it, ay, ay

They had ventured into almost every room in the condo. The living room, the game room, the balcony, and now the bedroom. Finding new positions in each room. Thank god there weren't many people that lived in the same building, he hated hearing her restrained and muffled moans under his hand. They laid in the bed, cuddling in the sheets, but nowhere near done. 

Her leg rested atom his hips, her arms wrapped around his neck, while he hid in the crook of hers. Placing those delicate kisses along her neck while pounding into her. She could barely see the other buildings out of the large windows on the balcony doors due to her blurry vision. But those distant buildings were her last thought. Her mind was clouded with the person who was holding her tight between the silk sheets.

Not a word had been said since they laid down in the bed, which was unusual for the two. But considering how needy they were, words didn't need to be said. They had been around each other long enough, tangled in one another long enough to know how each other feels. His low eyes as he tilted his head back and his faster paced thrusts. and her mouth agape, eyes rolled to the back of her head. Feeling the overwhelming waves of pleasure together as they nestled closer. Their chests rising and falling against each other, their heart beats loud as bass drums at highschool pep rallies. Yeah, nothing special.

You look good, you look good to me

Give me hug, it feel good to me

Hold me up, you too good to me

Cut 'em off, I know you would for me

Semeni opened one of the gray drawers, pulling out overnight clothes she had left the last time she stayed over. You know.. Just in case for situations like this. The bathroom had been hot and humid due to a long shower they took. But of course it wasn't just a shower, because he could never keep his hands to himself.

“You damn well live here by now,” He said, shirtless with loose gray sweatpants hanging low on his hips and leaning on the door frame. “You say that like you’re so bothered with that.” She approaches him, her neck cranked to look up at him. “Nah, not bothered. I'm just surprised that you took over one of my drawers.”

“Is that a problem, Roman?” She knew that they were both playing, but there was a tinge of seriousness in her tone. “No, you know you’re welcome to treat this place as your own.” She turns her back to him and smiles, looking back at the drawer filled with her clothes. 

“You tell that to all of your other hoes?”

“You think I would have other women over here when you have a whole drawer to yourself?” She shrugs her shoulders and sits on the bed, pulling the comforter over her smooth legs. “Maybe I should be askin’ you that question.” She scoffs. “​​There’s no man you gotta worry about, cause I'm focused on the man in front of me.” She said the last part to herself. Not realizing that she may have said that a little louder than she intended to. Roman was intrigued to say the least. She was always upfront with whatever she wanted to say. So it was so interesting to see her flustered, mumbling secret words to herself about him. Her attention turned to him when he turned the light off in the bathroom, making his way to her. He laid on the bed next to her,letting the new cold silk sheets graze his skin. His hand reached out to grab her chin, stroking her face softly with his thumb. “And I'm worried about the goddess in front of me. You ain’t got nothing to worry about, mama. And if you ever doubt that, I'll prove to you that you’re the only one I'm focused on.”

Okay…. Maybe this is something special.

🏷️ tags :) @reignsboy19 @2-muchsauce @theninthwonder @harmshake @alichesmi @thesamoanqueen @alyyaanna @empressdede @badbitchcentralinc @christinabae @fame-ass-ers @southerngirl41 @cyberdejos2 @murrylove @sassginaswanmills @pixiedust4000

[hisui-dreamer]

cook your way to your man's heart!

Characters: Deuce, Ruggie, Jade, Malleus

Synopsis: In which you decide to cook your guy's favourite food to condition them into liking you. Don't underestimate a person in love!

Tags: fluff, crack, reader is good at cooking, food is used as bribery, bot proofread

Word count: 766

Notes: inspired by this post

Disclaimer: this post is entirely light-hearted and as a PSA, please do not manipulate people.

Masterlist

this man adores you to bits

house-spouse material!!

every time he's so curious to see what you made for him

is it an egg sandwich? a quiche? an omelette? egg rolls?

he'll happily eat all of it, he loves your food!

refuses to share with anyone else unless it’s you

he finds you so endearing and he really appreciates the gesture

he would offer to cook with you or help you wash the dishes

before he knows it, he wants to always be close to you

walks you to school every morning, saves you a seat at lunch, etc.

when you tell him you made him food bc you liked him, he’ll be ecstatic

you put in all that effort for him?? that’s so sweet of you!

he wants to introduce you to his mom and see you two working in the kitchen together, his two most favourite people in the world

"Prefect, thank you so much for making me food!" Deuce says heartily. "Everything tastes amazing, you're so talented! I'm so happy to eat your cooking!"

oh he falls for it so bad

house-spouse material no.2!!

while he's careful with trusting people, he can't deny seeing you makes him so happy and he just can't resist the food

every time he sees you his tail is shaking in excitement

he has half a mind to wonder where you're getting the expenses from to keep making food for him

but hey how could he ever resist donuts?

he's so flattered and wants to repay you somehow

finds more opportunities to spend time with you in his busy schedule

works extra hard to earn thaumarks and get you some gifts

also he's always there for you if you need help

by the time he realises, he's head over heels in love with you

he can't say he minds, you're such a lovely person and you come with great food!

"Wow Prefect, are you trying to bribe me with donuts? I'm not that easy, ya know. Shishishi!" Ruggie laughs, his lips coated in chocolate. "But I gotta say, these donuts are awesome. You really know how to make a guy feel special. Thanks a ton, you're the best," he beams.

he's cautious when you start giving him food withouta good reason

he knows what you're up to fast

what else would you expect from a master manipulator like himself?

he'll play along though, only to enjoy your cooking

he does appreciate the effort you're putting in to make him happy by preparing his favorite food

even though he knows, he still finds himself looking forward to seeing what new dish you might bring

would it be octopus carpaccio? a toasted mushroom and egg sandwich?

he loves everything you make for him

eventually he'll find himself in love with you, but only willfully

by that point he'll start teasing you and play around with your expectations to keep you on your toes

truly a match made in heaven, two scheming dorks in love

but hey, all's fair in the game of love

"Why thank you, Prefect. Your thoughtfulness is truly appreciated," Jade says as he savors another bite. "This octopus carpaccio is quite exquisite. Perhaps you'd be kind enough to impart some of your culinary secrets to me? I would love learning from such a skilled cook." He's smiling but there's a certain glint to his eyes.

happy dragon noises

he's so in love with you omg

he was already interested to you when he met you in ramshackle

but one night you started offering him ice cream?

he's smitten

and you made it by yourself???

lilia's holding him back from marrying you instantly

he’ll find himself visiting you whenever he’s craving food or you

he's so fascinated by how ice cream is made and all the different flavours he can try

insert image of malleus furiously shaking a plastic bag with ice and cream in it

appreciates your determination and hard work in the kitchen so much

it makes him feel so valued and cared for

gives you all of his treasures to woo you and pays for all of the ingredients

and offers to help you in the kitchen, although you should keep a close eye on him if you don't want ramshackle burnt to the ground

Malleus smiles at you contently. "Might I express my sincerest gratitude, prefect? Your efforts to make my favorite food are not unnoticed, and I am deeply appreciative of your kindness," he says. "Your gifts are cherished, and I find myself drawn to your company more and more each day."

Masterlist

if you liked this post, don't forget to reblog!

[rosehxnt]

the stars in your eyes

characters: deuce spade, leona kingscholar, jade leech, jamil viper, silver summary: noticing the small details that make your boyfriend him warnings: mention of leona's scar, swordfighting, otherwise just fluff

Deuce Spade  He'd been nervously shifting in his seat for the better part of ten minutes, every now and then glancing at you just to see you staring at him.  "Do I have something on my face?" He finally asked.  "Yeah, handsomeness."  His face became flushed. "Thank you...but it's like you're staring right into my soul," Deuce nervously giggled.  "It's like I'm staring into the endless ocean." You held your gaze. "But it's even better because it's you and you're right here with me."  He tried to stare back at you for a few seconds, but failed, quickly turning away and finding something to distract himself with. You let out a light laugh as the eye contact ended, enamored by his reaction.

Leona Kingscholar  His chest rose and fell as you observed him. He was once again fast asleep in the botanical gardens, sun cascading across his face.  Absentmindedly, you reached out to slowly trace the scar going over his left eye.  "Herbivore." You had woken him up and he was now staring up at you, his cat-like pupils thinning to slits to accommodate for the midday sun. "What do you think you're doing?"  "I think..." You gaze into Leona's eyes, fingertips sitting still on his cheekbone. "I think I want you to look at me like that forever."  You swore you saw his pupils grow in size, but he'd deny it if you said anything. A small smile appeared on your face.  "I think I want to nap," he replied and, much to your chagrin, closed his eyes to resume his slumber. In your mind, you replayed the image of him looking at you, those emeralds he held easily rivaling even the most expensive jewelry one could buy.

Jade Leech  It was always a joy to see Jade practice his passion. That passion being taking care of his endless mushroom collection. The happiness showing in his eyes was always worth it to you, and you made sure to take in every bit of it.  Except he always noticed your staring. Although, this time he decided to say something about it.  "Why do you look at me with such intensity, my dear?" His casually delivered question threw you off, causing you to find sudden interest in the floor.  "Oh, um, I like it when you're happy, it makes me happy."  "I'm glad you're happy, then," he commented and went back to work making sure each individual terrarium was in ideal condition.  "Your eyes are also super pretty," you found yourself saying. "I love how one is like the sun and the other is like the earth. It's almost like you're my entire world."  It was his turn to deliver a shocked expression, not expecting you to turn the situation into an opportunity to flirt with him.

Jamil Viper  You were content to sit on the sidelines while Jamil prepared that evening's meal. He insisted you not do any of the work, and you questioned if he was looking out for you or the state of the meal. His answer was ambiguous.  So here you were, watching as he moved about the kitchen. His long hair swept over one shoulder, his hands working to expertly chop up the various vegetables, and his eyes flitting to each ingredient as he threw them in the large pot that was to feed the entire Scarabia dorm.  Those eyes, the ones that reminded you of the charcoal used to light fires, similar to the fire you felt for Jamil himself. He'd lit one in your heart through the way he'd always help you when you were getting behind in class or were feeling under the weather. His observant eyes that kept watch for you and worked hard to keep you out of trouble were just one of his many charms.

Silver  You'd been invited to watch Silver and Sebek spar, which you'd looked forward to for days. Both them and Lilia had worked to make sure you'd be safe just in case any blades went flying. This ended up with you sitting on a wooden bench behind a metal fence. Lilia was in the corner watching the two boys the entire time just in case, since they tended to get competitive.  Though your sight was slightly limited, it didn't stop you from watching Silver's expression as he expertly defended Sebek's attacks and launched some of his own. He was focused on the battle and his eyes, which reminded you of the translucent lavender tinted marbles you'd play with as a kid, tracked every movement and flash of metal.  It was hard to remind yourself he was still just a human in that moment. A human who had trained among fae to become a fierce enough soldier to protect their crown prince. A human who would look at you so kindly after the sparring had ended, offering his hand to help you up from where you sat, awestruck.

a/n: i was just thinking about a specific someone's eyes and thought i'd do this m.list & rules

© rosehxnt

[rottenpumpkin13]

What are everyone’s go-to breakfast orders?

Angeal: A loaded omelet with spinach, cheese, ham, bacon, and mushrooms + a simple cup of coffee. Angeal is also notorious for using whatever leftovers are in his fridge and turning them into omelets to not let food go to waste. He once served Sephiroth an omelet with spaghetti, which he loved, but then Sephiroth tried ordering one at at a diner and the waitress looked at him as if he were insane.

Genesis: French toast with powdered sugar and a side of bacon + the expensive coffee from the coffee shop in sector 8 that he loves.

Zack: Breakfast sandwich with sausage, bacon, eggs, a whole pancake, cheese, ham, a whole waffle, and more sausage + a breakfast smoothie.

*Angeal watches Zack eating the monstrosity*

Angeal: You're going to die early.

Zack: Eh, the internet says the world will end before I'm 25 anyway. I'm here for a good time, not a long time.

Angeal: There is more grease in that sandwich than there is in your hair.

Zack: ......

Cloud: Give him a simple order of toast, scrambled eggs and bacon + milky coffee and he'll be content.

Sephiroth: "Angeal and Genesis."

Sephiroth, after being asked to clarify: "I love it when they make me breakfast, especially steak and eggs."

[invinciblerodent]

These days I kind of can't stop thinking about how much I enjoyed the possibility of being from Orzammar in Origins, specifically because just being who you are put so much of the early game in a wholly different context.

Like, a dwarf from Orzammar has, by definition, lived literally under a rock their whole lives!! They've never left the underground, and yes, while that also makes their ignorance of surface squabbles (the mage issue, the Ferelden/Orlais conflict, everything with the city elves and the Dalish, etc.) make a lot of sense, it also comes with so many interesting new angles that I'm honestly so surprised still that I've never really seen it mentioned very often, if at all. (Even though we even get an explicit moment to reflect on it, when leaving with Oghren.)

In Origins, the moment a dwarf first steps out through the gates of Orzammar and begins the game, is a profoundly life-altering experience. Dare I say, even more so than it is for an elf or a human. Because stepping out, for the first time, they are entering an entirely new world, and for the first time, in front of them is a vast expanse of nothing but air.

The end of the prologue, it's not just a fundamental personal change that awaits you, it's also a displacement so complete, that it's absolutely dizzying to even think about.

That first time a dwarf feels the sun on their skin, they are made sun-touched, a surfacer: stripped not only from caste and kin, of identity, but also faith and memory, any favor their ancestors may have still held for them, and any possibility of ever returning, as far as they know. (Aeducan may even have a bitter little chuckle over the irony of how they could very well have just one day before shrugged off the concerns of their surface brethren completely, only to be made one of them now.)

Their whole lives, they had always been able to see the opposite wall of the cave, or at least to know for sure that it's there, along with the miles and miles of unchanging, crystal-littered rock stretching protectively over their heads-- now all of that is gone. There's nothing between them, and the infinite and ever-changing blue, grey, orange, black of the open sky they've never seen, and in the distance, there's no wall-- just glorious, humongous mounds and spires of rock jutting up into the belly of the sky, the likes of which they've only ever seen from the inside.

Orzammar, despite no sunlight ever penetrating that far, is always lit bright, and it's heated by the lava streams and pools below. A dwarf has never known anything colder or warmer, brighter or darker, never seen seasons change... the biting winds and the frequent rains in Ferelden are completely new to them, not to mention the terrifying cracks of thunder that sound like the very Stone over them cracking in two, the bright flashes of lightning illuminating the night for but a moment, or waking in the middle of the night to what sounds like countless fingers pat-pat-patting the tarp of their tent, or the fact that animals -which are varied and plentiful and wholly alien- sometimes just randomly fall into the sky, like the rumors say! They might know academically that with birds, that just sort of tends to happen, but they've never seen one take off!!

Hell, all of surface flora and fauna are completely new to them-- it's likely they've only ever seen a tree or a dog in a picture book. Flowers, they've likely only ever seen as an expensive and frivolous luxury few can afford to have for a while, and even then, they are by necessity brought in removed from their roots, dead, wilting, taken from their natural place... while here, blooms just spring up underfoot willy-nilly, not entirely unlike mushrooms at the home which is not theirs anymore.

And... there must be something organic, something comfortingly animal to the scent of hundreds of warm bodies crammed into a sealed hole in the ground-- which is just gone now. The air is fresh, clean... empty, cold, lonely. No smell of spilled ale, piss, and vomit, no thick scent of the combined breaths and bodies of all their people... no scent of belonging, the air that moves their lungs now is no longer that which has moved those of all they've ever known, and every breath washes more, and more, and more of who they once were from inside their very body.

Being on the surface, it's like being thrust into an alien world, with which all just expects you to be intimately familiar. What do you mean the grass, the bugs, the birds, the leaves are strange? What do you mean you've never eaten leaves from this plant, fruit from this tree, the flesh of this creature you've only ever heard about? They laugh when you avert your eyes from the sky and try not to think about falling into it, or when you startle at the feeling of falling water suddenly hitting your skin, as if that was somehow funny, charming.

The night, which you've never before seen fall, is a comfort from all that endless, boundless seeing- but after the Joining, not even that is a relief.

Because if you're a dwarven Warden, all the dreams you've had in your life have been nightmares.

So you cope. You learn, and adapt, and endure.

Strong and immutable, like the Stone from which you were rent.

[mushroom-forest-life]

Mushroom of the day:

Caterpillar fungus/Ophiocordyceps sinensis

Growing location: China, Nepal, India, Bhutan on the Tibetan plateau and the Himalayas; growing location: parasitizes Caterpillars of the ghost moth at about 11,000 feet above sea level

Characteristics: brown, like mushroom grows out of the head of a ghost moth caterpillar

 Rarest, and most expensive mushroom in the world 

[drpeppertummy]

teddybear sneaking out for a midnight snack

[hunger, stuffing, tummyache]

Teddy didn't typically go to the diner alone. Ordinarily, he'd be there with his friends and housemates, laughing and chattering over a big greasy dinner that would leave all of them feeling a little too stuffed and set with lunch for the next day. This would be during the day, though, and right now, it was late at night. His belly rumbled impatiently as his sleepy eyes grazed over the menu, and he yawned. He didn't typically go this late, either.

The reason for the unusual visit was his monthly affliction--being a werewolf, of course. It was only a few days until the full moon, and Teddy's appetite had gone from extra perky to downright ridiculous. Even when his poor tummy was straining to hold everything he'd fed it, his body still insisted on a little bit more. The transformation took a lot of energy, after all; his body needed to prepare for it, even if it was at the expense of his own comfort. His housemates were thankfully very understanding and even willing to help, but Teddy was embarrassed by his absurd appetite spikes, and he felt guilty about going through so much of their own food. Tonight, to take a break from the usual midnight trip to the kitchen, he'd decided to sneak out to the diner in the hopes of appeasing his stomach.

Teddy yawned again, rubbing an eye. His stomach growled angrily. He'd been keeping it waiting for some time, not wanting to clear out the entire kitchen after Bruce had just gone grocery shopping, and as far as his stomach was concerned, it had been weeks since his last meal. In reality, of course, it had only been a few hours, but Teddy was ravenous. He was half tempted to eat the menu with all its mouthwatering pictures; he couldn't focus on it anyway. His belly panged at him, and he wrapped an arm around it with a soft, involuntary whine.

"Well, hello there, sleepy head." Teddy looked up to see a tall waitress looming over him, a big, fond smile on her face. "You sure you're at the right place? Your belly sounds like it'd rather hit the buffet." Teddy blushed, looking sheepish, and she laughed. "Oh, don't you worry, cutie pie, I'm just teasing. I'm gonna take good care of you tonight. What can I get you?"

"Um…" Teddy looked blankly back at the menu, trying to recall what in the world he normally ordered. There were far, far too many options for his sleepy, hunger-clouded mind to process, and he sat there gaping at it, trying to make something come out of his mouth. The waitress--Marianne, according to her nametag--leaned over his shoulder, reading the menu with him.

"If you need a few more minutes, we could always start you off with an appetizer," she said, reaching around him to turn the page back. His belly rumbled again, eager to eat something, and his blush deepened. "It sure sounds like you could use it."

"I guess I could do that," he agreed.

With a little guidance from the exceptionally friendly waitress, Teddy ordered a basket of fried mushrooms, and Marianne left him to ponder the menu a little longer while he waited. He hadn't intended to get an appetizer, but he supposed it wasn't a bad choice; if it would go toward staving off his insatiable hunger a little while longer, he'd be happy. Of course, he supposed he'd be hungry again by morning, but he hoped a big meal would hold him for the rest of the night. He looked down at his belly. For as much of a racket as it was making, you'd never know how hungry he was by looking at him. He was still bloated from a large dinner, which had been on top of a large lunch and a large breakfast, and his belly poked out adorably over the waist of his pants, snug even with his belt done at its loosest. Not even his oversized shirt could hide the contour of it. He wondered what Marianne must have thought, his stomach growling like it had been starved despite bulging as though it were stuffed.

By the time Marianne returned with the mushrooms, Teddy was on the verge of dozing off--it didn't take long, he was just very tired--but he had finally settled on an order. He was startled when Marianne set the basket on the table, and she laughed.

"Oh, you are just the cutest little thing," she said, pulling out her pad and pen. "Didn't mean to wake you, sweetheart. Know what you want yet?"

"I think so," he said, trying to shake the groggy feeling out of his head.

Since he was on his own, Teddy decided to order something he didn't usually go for: a nice big steak. Normally, if he was out with his friends, he'd go for something a little more simple, like a burger or a cheesesteak, but tonight his meat cravings were in full swing, and he didn't need any bread or toppings getting in the way. It came with a cup of soup--he decided to go with chicken noodle--and two sides, for which he picked a baked potato and fries. It would be a big, heavy, filling meal, perhaps too much even for his ravenous appetite, but that was exactly what he needed right now, and his mouth watered at the thought of it as he ordered.

"That's a good healthy appetite," Marianne said approvingly as she finished jotting it down. "We're gonna fill that cute little belly right up." Teddy blushed brightly, and before he knew it she was gone, leaving him alone with the fried mushrooms. They smelled heavenly, and his stomach let out an impatient yowl as he geared himself up for the first molten hot bite. He wasn't sure if it was just that he was starving or if they were really that good, but they were exactly as delicious as they smelled, crispy and flavorful and not too greasy, and even though they were hotter than the surface of the sun he found himself practically inhaling them.

"That's what I like to see," Marianne grinned, approaching the table once again with the soup. Teddy looked up, surprised and sheepish, a bite of mushroom still in his mouth. She smiled at him as she set down the bowl, and he felt her eyes creep down from his blushing face to his round little belly.

"It's good you brought your appetite," she said. "You're gonna need it when that steak comes out. I caught a peek at it when I was coming by with the soup--it's a big one. You need anything else, pumpkin, or are you alright for now?"

"I'm alright," he said, smiling shyly. He thanked her for the soup and she was on her way once more. The mushrooms, which were nearly gone, had sated the desperate surface of his appetite, but he was still plenty hungry, and the hot soup looked and smelled very inviting. He ate that more slowly than he had the mushrooms, taking the time to enjoy the pleasant flavor of it and the warm cozy feeling as it filled his belly. It came with a warm hunk of bread, and he dipped it in the broth as he ate. The gnawing ache in his stomach was fading now, giving way to a comfortable contentment.

The soup-soaked bread filled his tummy nicely, and he was thankful to be able to enjoy it without the eyes of his housemates on him, although he knew they held no judgment. In fact, Bruce was always plenty happy to whip something up whenever his belly rumbled, and Luna gladly encouraged him to eat. Even Stelian, seemingly cold and uncaring, reminded him that it was important to listen to his body when it was hungry, particularly where the pre-full moon cravings were concerned. Truthfully, most of the time he didn't care. When those werewolf cravings hit, though, he couldn't help feeling embarrassed and even ashamed of his constant and insatiable hunger. He felt guilty for eating so much, even when he did more than his share of the shopping, and he felt guilty that his friends took such responsibility for keeping him well fed, even if they did so happily. He was grateful for them, of course, but it was nice to not have to think about it at all right now.

Teddy went on happily eating his soup and finishing off the mushrooms, and Marianne watched from afar as she wiped down the counter across the room. She was enjoying Teddy immensely. He was a cute little thing, sweet as pie, and the way his belly whined and begged to be fed in spite of his soft demeanor just about set her on fire. She wondered just how much that plump little tummy could hold. The way it poked out disproportionately made her wonder if he might have already eaten, but the way it growled like it was ready to take her hand off made that thought seem impossible. She supposed she would find out before long, anyway. His dinner was just about ready, and she was perhaps even more eager to bring it out than he was to eat it.

"Still got that appetite, cutie pie?" Marianne stood over the table with a tray in her hand, smiling down at Teddy. He nodded sweetly, holding a hand to his tummy almost unconsciously. Admittedly, he did feel a little full with the soup, bread, and full basket of mushrooms in his belly, but he still had room for dinner. He hoped he'd have enough room to not have leftovers--he felt a little silly about his late night diner run, and he didn't want to bring back evidence.

"Good," she cooed, replacing the empty dishes with full ones with a motion that seemed almost effortless. "I was worried all that soup would fill you up before you even got your dinner. They say it makes the bread swell up in your tummy"--she gave him a light tap on the belly for emphasis--"but I don't know if that's really true."

If Teddy had been full, even with the possibility of the expanding contents of his stomach, it didn't matter now; his appetite returned in full force at the sight and smell of the big hunk of meat before him. Meat--particularly rare, red meat--was the thing he craved most when the full moon was around the corner, and it wasn't something he got to truly indulge in often. He supposed that the lack of it was probably at least partially responsible for the persistence of his appetite; a wolf wouldn't likely be satisfied after a plate of waffles, and a wolf's stomach was what he was feeding. Mouth watering, he cut off a big bite and dug in.

Teddy hadn't realized just how much he'd needed the steak until that first bite hit his tongue. The relief and satisfaction that hit him was almost instantaneous, and he savored the juicy mouthful, enjoying the feeling of his slightly-sharpened teeth sinking into it. A soft, blissful sigh escaped him as he ate. Marianne watched from the counter, chin in hand, unable to hold back a fond smile at the look on his face. Seeing him enjoying the food so much was almost as good as the chattering of his hungry tummy, and that was almost as good as knowing that that tummy was going to be utterly stuffed before long.

As he ate, Teddy became aware of a slowly-growing fullness in his belly, but he didn't let it hold him back. It was a welcome feeling, in fact. After trying for days to appease his relentless appetite, it was the most satisfied he'd felt all week. He ate slowly, taking care to enjoy the meal, breaking away from the steak here and there to dip into the hot, buttery baked potato and the thick, crispy fries. Right now, his stomach felt snug and cozy, comfortably full of warm, bulky meat and carbs. Between that and the day's previous meals bulging his belly out, he felt a little weighed down, but right now he didn't mind. Right now, he felt wonderful.

About halfway through the steak, the amount of food in Teddy's tummy began to catch up with him, and that gradual fullness in his stomach began to bloom into a taut, stretched feeling. He felt bloated and heavy, but he wasn't too full to keep eating just yet. He was still determined to return home empty-handed. He paused for a moment, resting a hand on his tummy, and he was surprised--and a little embarrassed--to feel just how far it was bulging out. He looked down to see his oversized shirt pulled snug over the wide curve of his belly, so swollen that it nearly bumped against the table.

"You're not gettin' full already, are you?" Teddy nearly jumped out of his skin. He hadn't noticed Marianne approaching; he supposed he'd been too astonished by the size of his belly. Her gaze, he noticed, also seemed to be fixed on his belly, and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat, blushing. She leaned down, smiling, and her eyes met his.

"That poor tummy sounded awfully hungry when you came in," she said, her voice low and smooth. "You'd better make sure it's nice and full before you go. I'd hate to see a cute little thing like you leave without eating your fill." He nodded shyly, almost hypnotized by her stare. She smiled and gave him an affectionate tap on the nose before standing upright again.

"Now, you get going on that steak, sweetpea, and I'll be back to check on you in a little bit, alright?"

Ironically, that little break in the meal only gave Teddy more time to realize how full he was. His stomach having adjusted a little, he felt fairly stuffed, although not unpleasantly so. Still, the remaining hunk of meat before him seemed like a lot more now than it did a few minutes ago, and his stomach let out a reluctant gurgle as it worked away at everything he'd eaten so far. He didn't feel bad, though, and the thought of leaving with his belly feeling fully satisfied was enticing. He sighed and forced up a stifled little burp, picked up his fork, and got back to it.

A threshold had been crossed, and the pressure inside Teddy's belly grew steadily as he ate. The tight feeling was more prominent now, as was the feeling of his belt squeezing his bulging middle, and, a few bites later, he entered the territory of discomfort. He picked at the potato and the fries, but finishing the steak was his main goal. He wouldn't feel so bad about leaving a little bit of his sides behind, but if he was going home with no leftovers, he didn't want to waste a bit of the steak. His pace had slowed considerably since the last time Marianne stopped by the table, and each bite began to feel more and more like a chore. Still, despite the protests of both his stomach and his tightening belt, he pushed on. There wasn't that much left, after all; even if it left him feeling too stuffed to move, he felt confident that he could finish it.

Marianne watched Teddy, entranced by the way his belly pushed out tight against his shirt, straining with each breath. It was far too distended for there to only be the one meal inside it; despite his obvious hunger when he sat down, she supposed he must have been eating well all day. How he'd managed to work up such an appetite on such an already-visibly-stuffed belly was beyond her, but she didn't care. She was just happy to see him enjoying the meal--and, of course, to have the lovely view of that sweet little tummy swelling up before her. She'd have loved to give it a nice squeeze; it looked wonderfully plush, although right now she supposed it must have felt tight as a drum. Curious to see how much more it could hold, she watched. She suspected it wouldn't be long before he was too full to go on.

Teddy paused again, leaning back in his seat. His belly felt unbelievably heavy and swollen, and he could feel everything he'd eaten in the past day bulging out hard. He was just about at his limit. He rested a hand on the top of his stomach--it felt shockingly firm compared to its usual softness--and tried to force up another burp. A tiny one came up, but it didn't do much to ease the pressure. He looked down at his plate. Only a few bites of steak remained; the scraps of his sides that were still left were trivial. The tightness in his stomach was almost unbearable. His belt pressed hard into it, and he felt like he had an enormous boulder jammed up just under his ribs, jutting out dramatically against his shirt. His stomach groaned uncomfortably, and he gave it a cautious rub, hoping to soothe it into submission long enough to finish off the last little bit of his meal.

"If I didn't know any better, sweetie pie, I'd think you just polished off three of those," Marianne teased, smiling at him. "You look stuffed with a capital S. You ready for a box yet, or do you think you can squeeze in that little bitty piece?"

"Um…" Teddy thought for a moment. He wasn't sure he could squeeze in even a crumb, let alone the small hunk of meat on his plate.

"Judging by the look of that cute little tummy of yours, I'm gonna guess you wanna bring this home, hm?" Teddy hesitated.

"It's just, um… I kinda snuck over here without my friends," he said sheepishly, and she laughed.

"Ohh, I understand. Can't bring back any evidence, huh?" She grinned down at him, and he nodded, laughing a little along with her. "Well, I'd say that's pretty sound reasoning. Wouldn't want 'em catching on, would we? Well, you take as long as you need to, pumpkin. I'm sure you'll find a little space." She winked and left him again.

Teddy stayed put for a moment, leaning back in his seat with his hands on his belly, hoping it would settle a little if he gave it a moment to rest. He could hardly believe how taut and firm it felt, especially up around his stomach. His plush lower belly was softer, but even that felt packed tight right now. It rumbled uneasily, straining against the enormous meal. He rubbed his belly tentatively, trying to relax the stretched feeling a little, but to little avail. Finally, he decided to go for it. With a soft sigh, he sat up and picked up his fork once more.

There were only a few bites of steak left, but each one felt like a monumental task, his belly stretching tighter and tighter with each reluctant swallow. Finally, the last bite was on his fork. He wasn't sure his stomach could take it, but, with some hesitation, he stuck it in his mouth anyway. He chewed slowly, dreading having to force even another molecule into his already overstuffed tummy, but, after a good long chew, he did it, finishing off the meal with a thick gulp. His belly let out a strained grumble as it stretched just a hair further. He leaned back again with a heavy sigh, holding his distended tummy with both hands. It ached badly, no longer with hunger but with far too much pressure pushing out against the walls of his stomach, but he was done.

"My goodness," remarked Marianne, striding coolly up to the table. "I didn't think you could do it. You look stuffed like a Thanksgiving turkey, sweetheart. You gonna be able to get out of that seat?"

"No," he said with a weak chuckle, and she smiled.

"Well, I'll take the long route to getting the check," she said, winking as she took the empty plate away. "You just wait right there and give that poor tummy a minute to settle."

Teddy did just that; he couldn't even sit up straight right now, let alone get up. All he wanted to do was sprawl out in bed and spent the next twelve hours sleeping it off. He almost regretted eating so much--he felt the way he did the morning after the full moon, when his small human stomach would be stretched tight with everything he ate as an enormous werewolf--but not quite. His hunger was gone, at least for the time being, and he had a feeling that his bellyful of meat would hold him over for a good while.

[apocalypticvalraven]

Delicious in Dungeon in The Kitchen

So... I was struck by the thought that I kinda wish some food nerd would go through the Dungeon Meshi dishes and analyze them and sort of give a "this is the real world thing they're making" run down.

And then I realized I'm a food nerd that can do research.

So.

We're gonna try this out, starting with Volume 1. I don't promise that I know everything about cooking. I don't promise I'll always be able to make the thing I'm looking at (I am broke, and I don't have my own kitchen). But I can at least look at a dish and figure out what they're doing and how to replicate it, at least sorta.

Dungeon Meshi Volume 1-- Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom Hot Pot

The two main components of this dish are the Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom.

Walking Mushroom

Looking at the images in the manga, Walking Mushroom seems to just... be a mushroom that can walk around. There are no organs, the interior seems pretty uniform in substance...

Like, literally, that's exactly what sliced mushrooms look like. Senshi cuts the mushroom into ~4" strips (judging by their size next to the small cabbage-like vegetable, and comparing those plants to his hand in the image of him gathering them. I am assuming dwarf hands are roughly the same size as human hands).

There's a variety of edible mushroom that is probably as close as we're going to get to the size of a Walking Mushroom, growing a cap up to 3' wide, but it seems to only grow in termite mounds in a very specific part of the African continent (please forgive my USAmerican, White education leading me to not being able to identify the specific region), so... if you can get that at all, it's probably crazy expensive (as it should be, unless you're literally getting it from the mounds or local markets yourself). Portobello or similar large culinary mushrooms are probably just fine. The Mushroom Feet are literally just mushrooms, so no worries there.

Huge Scorpion

Ok, so... there is a difference between arachnids and crustaceans. As a start, arachnids have book lungs and crustaceans have gills. Arachnid guts are different from crustacean guts, just because of environment. Hell, crustacean limbs grow differently from arachnid limbs.

That said, everything I see in Dungeon Meshi implies that, from a culinary standpoint, Huge Scorpion is a crustacean-

So, really, it's just a big lobster. Take a lobster, cut off its legs, antennae, and the tail fluke, and you're going to see something that looks pretty similar to the huge scorpion in Dungeon Meshi.

Seaweed

Next is seaweed, which... is just a thing, but also kind of an imprecise term, I think. Basically, "seaweed" just refers to any marine algae that is multicellular and macroscopic (big enough to see). Arctic Moss seems to be a real thing which refers to a couple things- the aquatic moss Calliergon giganteum and the terrestrial lichen in the genus of Cladonia, which includes Reindeer Lichen.

Reindeer lichen is edible, in a number of ways, but it's also not seaweed. So we look at Calliergon giganteum. I cannot get an answer as to whether this particular variety of moss is edible. So... fuck it, say Senshi used Reindeer Lichen, at least we know that's edible.

"Star Jelly" is... I don't know. The main result I find when googling it is that it's the sort of general term for various slimes that show up on lawns and other vegetation, etc. Which means it could be anything from amphibian spawning jelly to who the fuck knows what.

However, one thing it could be is a cyanobacteria known as Fat Choy, a commonly used "vegetable" in Chinese Cuisine:

Looks like jelly? Yep. Looks weird enough that you might imagine it comes from a star? Yep. Edible? Yes!

(I mean, maybe don't eat a ton of it, or get it from irreputable sources. At least some Fat Choy contains a toxic amino acid which may or may not have negative health effects, but I'm not a doctor, so all I'm saying is "be aware of this." It's an expensive delicacy, which means that it is a particularly lucrative target for counterfeiters, and China does not have strong, or strongly enforced, food safety laws).

The Hard Stuff

So that leaves "Invertatoes" and "Dried Slime."

Neither of which seem to have a good direct analogue to the real world. Well... sorta.

Invertatoes seems to refer to the plants. The name calls to mind potatoes, and potatoes do indeed grow in the ground and are starchy. It's probably fair to just use any kind of starchy tuber as the "invertatoes." Maybe cassava, since those are large enough that it's at least somewhat believable that "Fantasy Land Cassava" could look like that (although that doesn't fit the "these are normal plants that grow upside down" unless we're being really generous).

The problem is that it's sort of implied that the cabbage-like vegetable seen in the hot pot comes from the same plant, and everything from a potato plant other than the potato itself is toxic. They also don't look like that.

I literally don't know what those cabbage/lettuce-like leafy vegetables are. They're not seaweed, because the two varieties called out definitely don't look like that. They're not, so far as I can tell, the greens of any kind of starchy tuber--

EXCEPT.

So, I was taking one last look at tubers to see if I could find something that seemed to match, and I think Invertatoes could be likened to something similar to chicory. Particularly endives. I never knew endives were related to chicory (ie, "that thing that I'm aware is popular as a coffee substitute in the South, but I don't have much desire to try it, and I wonder if it even has caffeine..."), but, apparently, yeah. Endives are a member of the chicory genus.

So, yeah, lets say that Invertatoes are a sort of fantasy plant similar to the various members of the chicory genus. The trunk can be replicated with chicory root, and the leaves with endives.

That leaves Dried Slime. Dried Slime makes up the noodles in the hot pot, which implies that the noodles are gelatinous, and probably low in gluten. Senshi's explanation of the slime makes me want to think of it as a macro-unicellular lifeform, but... I'm not sure that's accurate.

While it's definitely not an accurate way to describe a jellyfish, I could definitely see a non-biologist describing jellyfish in a way similar to the way Senshi describes the slime. I could also see some fantasy terrestrial jellyfish thing hunting in a similar manner to the slime. Moreover, there are edible varieties of jellyfish, and they're processed in a manner very similar to what Senshi describes for processing slimes. And one way of preparing edible jellyfish is to thinly slice it into noodles.

Hot Pots

I... think this is using a very specifically Japanese sense of "hot pot" (which makes sense), because in Japan, hot pot can refer to a dish called nabemono, while in general, hot pot refers to a particular kind of dining in China where you get a pot full of boiling stock/broth and a bunch of raw ingredients, and you put the stuff you want into the broth at the table. Nabemono is more of "put a bunch of stuff in a pot, and cook it. Serve it boiling." Which is to say, it's soup.

Senshi puts the scorpion meat and mushroom into a pot on its own, and lets it start boiling-

Then, while it's boiling, he goes and finds other ingredients, coming back with the invertatoes and the slime. The two are prepared simply-

Seasoning isn't included in the ingredients, but I can understand this as a choice for presentation. We do see Senshi add something to the broth after tasting it, and I think it's fair to assume it's one of soy sauce, mirin, fish sauce, or similar. I think it's actually really interesting that we see Senshi add seasoning, but we're not told what it is-

Because... that's cooking. You can follow a recipe, but ultimately, you need to taste your cooking and make your own decisions. Senshi lets the soup cook, tastes the broth, decides it needs something, and gives it a bit of time to let the flavors meld before serving it up.

Dungeon Meshi Lobster and Mushroom Hot Pot

So, we're looking at something like this for the "Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom Hot Pot"--

Lobster- ~5 lbs or more (a 1 lb lobster yields about 4 oz of actual meat, which is a single serving), cut into large slices

Portobello- 2 mushrooms large diced, 2 left whole with the caps scored

Reindeer Lichen and Fat Choy- to taste

Chicory Roots- ~1 cup, diced

Endive greens- ~2 cups

Jellyfish, thin sliced- as much as you like

Add lobster and mushrooms to water, and allow to boil. While it comes to a boil, prepare the other ingredients, then add to the water. Let the soup come to a full boil, then reduce heat and simmer for 15 minutes to an hour (can simmer longer, but this will affect the texture of the ingredients. Longer simmering will result in more melding of flavors, but also degraded solid parts).

Taste the broth. It will likely need salt and acid, which could come in a variety of forms, such as kosher salt and lemon juice, soy sauce and mirin/rice vinegar, oyster/fish sauce, or something else. Go with your gut and your taste buds..

[cumulo-ghoulll]

Pack HCs

here's what I think the pack looks like!

Dew (he can't act normal while having his picture taken)! Due to his transition, he has full scars on his torso and neck. His tail also heats up during colder months to keep himself warm!!

Rain! He has small fish scale-like markings on his shoulders, knees, and back of his hands! Naturally runs colder than the others because of his element! He likes to press his cold tail on people's faces when they're not paying attention to him. If you were to pan down, you'd see him standing in a kids inflatable pool!

Swiss! Menace! He also cannot behave normally in front of a camera, or at all for that matter! He wears a lot of gold. He loves gold body and loc jewelry as well as clothes with gold accents. The way to this ghouls heart is an expensive gold necklace!

Aether! Gentle giant and massive bookworm! He loves cozy colours and clothes, and especially loves autumn/fall because it means he can get his sweater collection out! The white tuft of hair is a weird genetic side affect all quints get because of their powers!

Phantom! He has a lot of body markings! Up close, the markings on his shoulders and face look like stars! He dyes his hair purple as it is not only his favourite colour but also because his hair is naturally fully white because of his quintessence. The other quints know how much quintessential power he has but the rest of the pack are oblivious and he wished to keep it that way.

Mountain! Another gentle giant! He spends a lot of his time in the allotments, helping the other earth ghouls harvest crops and sow new seeds! When he's not planting crops, he likes to walk around the grounds and make a note of all the insects he sees! He also likes to go foraging for mushrooms and gives them to whoever is cooking dinner that night!

Cumulus!! Although her hair looks incredibly thick, it's just naturally very voluminous (helped by a little air magic). Legend says that all the world's knowledge resides in her hair. In reality, it's three markers, half her makeup bag, toothbrush and toothpaste, and an eye mask for those impromptu midday naps!

Cirrus! Just because she has wing ears doesn't mean she can't hear you. In fact, she can hear people having conversations on the other side of the ministry. She actually wears noise canceling earplugs a lot to prevent herself from getting overstimulated! She has small feather-like markings going up her forearms and thighs and she lets Cumulus colour them in when she's bored on the tour bus!

[spicyicetea]

I decided to draw my Y/N with Skyward Sword Link, like I detailed in my last post.

And I did also promise a oneshot so heh enjoy. I know @rainstops will enjoy this, dirty simp >:)

I can't let you leave

Skyward Sword!Link x Spirit!reader

Warnings: swearing•blood•smut•various kinks/breeding/virginity loss/etc that I've forgotten.

The Master Sword glowed with a lustre as the small Hylian woman landed on the ground beside the tall blonde. Zelda had hugged him right before running off to find her father. The S/C woman smiled at the sight, inspecting the blade on the man's back. He turned to her and she broke from her trance to look up at him.

“So, our journey together is over.”

“What?” the man’s eyes widened as the woman nodded.

“Master, there will be many reincarnations of you in the future. You must seal me back in the Master Sword so I may rest until I can aid them.”

“No,” he furrowed his brows while grabbing her wrist.

She frowned, understanding he must have been hesitant to say goodbye to such a powerful weapon. He pulled her behind him away from prying eyes as he grits his teeth. He wasn't saying goodbye to her yet, he couldn't. Due to having to save the world and that Zelda girl who likes him, he hardly enjoyed his time with his beloved. Of course, she was unaware of his devotion to her, but she would soon be aware.

Oh, how the gods must frown upon him now, betraying the love they had chosen for him for some common girl. He worshipped the ground she walked far more often than he ever cared for the fate of those around him. When she would get distracted by the world around her, she would never see him threatening people to get her anything she expressed interest in.

“Link! Look, this looks like your tunic! It's cute and... So expensive, Link we need to save your rupees for potions and bombs!” Y/N yelled, laughing awkwardly after noticing the high price.

Link can remember handing her his pouch of rupees and telling her to grab some potions for him while he held a blade to the shop owner's neck to get what she wanted. He can remember her excited face once she realized he had gotten it, clearly unaware of the blood he had to wipe from his sword mere moments before handing the dark blue tunic over. She twirled once putting it on, loving how she now looked like him, just without the green and the strange hat.

She was always his, she just hadn't realised it yet. The way he gave her that spare belt so he could watch her tunic cling to her curves as she patched him up after fights. How she would cook him food, worrying about him missing home and losing motivation, although watching her kneel over a fire roasting mushrooms while humming was all the motivation he needed. That adorable smile and little wiggles on his lap as she falls asleep in his arms, trying his hardest to control the throbbing in his pants as she mumbled in her sleep. They were basically already married, he watched her sleep and helped get the dried dirt off of her when she bathed, he was the only one who noticed how she adored helping the kids that ran up to her, thinking she was a goddess. At least those kids knew how the world should view her.

They were already together and she just hadn't realised. All she needed was a little hint. A nudge in the right direction.

The two slowed as Link looked to see no one was near. The shadows hid them perfectly between the two houses, neither of which occupied. Celebration was thriving in the town square as Zelda returned, leaving Link with the privacy he desired. Y/N raised a brow while looking up at him.

“Master, I understand that we've become friends during our journey, but you have your friend back now. I must be sealed back away, and this isn't near the resting site of the Master Sword...” She frowned, clearly also sad regarding the way everything had to turn out.

“No, you don't understand!” Link yelled, tugging his hat off and letting his blonde hair loose.

Y/N pouted and instinctively reached forward to play with his hair. Whenever he was stressed after a battle she would always play with his hair. He’d rest his face against her chest, or even just smother himself in her cleavage while she braided his hair. He bit his lip as her fingers ran through his hair. She tried to pull him into a hug like she always does but he just furrowed his brows and rested his forehead against hers, resisting her embrace.

“Link? Are you alright?” Y/N asks.

His hands flew to her hips as he pushed her against a wall. She squeaked in pain at the movement, looking up at him with a sort of concern. He looked down at her with an expression she had never seen before. His eyes dilated and focused on her. Lips parted as he panted.

“Link?”

One of his hands flew to grab her cheeks, tilting her head up to look at him properly as leant closer. Her eyes widened as she pressed herself against the wall to give him space, his knee forcing her legs apart to rest on the wall between her thighs.

“Why don't you understand?” he sighed.

“Understand? Oh, Link did I offend you at any point? Am I misreading your relationship with that Zelda? I just didn't want to assume that you two were romantic so I just said friends. I'm sorry-”

“No, not another word about that Zelda! Ugh.” he groaned. “You, why can't you just...”

“Just what? What's wrong?”

“Why can't you understand? I want you!”

“Want me? Like the Sword? I'm not actually the sword Link...” she chuckled before Link yanked her hair back gently and smashed his lips against hers.

She jumped slightly as his hand slid down to the hem of her tunic before sliding back up her thigh. He knew if he continued he'd lose control but it was so addicting. The way her soft thighs squished in his hand, and the delicate whimpers they earned pulled him further. It didn't take long until he pulled her hips closer to relax on his clothed knee, bouncing it lightly. She let out a gasp-like moan as his thigh bumped against her clit while his knee nestled against her delicate flower between her thighs.

He smirked watching her quickly flush red and become flustered as she moaned quietly. One of the many things he loved about her was her purity, innocence... lack of panties due to them being stuffed in his pocket the second day they were travelling together. He continued rubbing his knee over her slit as her eyes watered up and she grabbed at his tunic.

“Y/N, hey hey it's okay-”

“Link! Please, it feels so strange! Ah, please.” she moaned.

Link grinned and bit his lip, fumbling with his belt as she began bucking on his thigh. Her slick dribbled through his trousers as she continued to hump his leg like a hungry animal. He grinned watching her squirm, if only he had done this sooner. Her lips met his as she pulled him back into a kiss and he tugged his trousers down. His hands lifted her by her thighs and slammed her against the wall, biting her lower lip.

“Mph, Link. I feel so fuzzy... Please fix it.” She moaned, holding his shoulders to stay stable.

He gulped hearing her moans, feeling himself lose control. Y/N let out a whimper as he pulled her back into the kiss. She ran a hand into his messy hair as he pulled his pants down far enough for his cock to spring out of his boxers. Y/N sighed as she pulled out of the kiss, panting. Link chased her lips, kissing the tip of her nose while rubbing his thumbs in circles over her thighs. He hiked one of her legs up and over his shoulder, he back being pressed against the wall. Link licked his lips as he used his fingers to spread open her folds. She whimpered, not used to the foreign sensation.

“Ah! Link, what are you doing?”

“Shh, don't worry darling, I'm fixing the weird feeling, just like you asked me to.”

Y/N just whimpered as his tip pressed against her, Link fighting the urge to buck into her. He bit his lip as he pushed the head in and she let out a high moan. Her nails dug into her leg as she tries to not scratch him. Link just rubbed her hip, pressing kisses to her thigh as she struggled to take him.

“It's okay dear, just relax,” he cooed.

“Mph, it hurts,” she whined.

“God, I love you Y/N. Please don't leave me,” Link moaned and thrust the rest of the way in as Y/N moaned loudly.

Her whining only got louder as her walls stretched to fit him. Small tears rolled down her cheeks as his hips met her body and he stilled to let her adjust to him. Link moaned he began thrusting, his cock dragging against her walls. Her panting became louder as slick smeared over her thighs. As her moans became louder she threw her arms around his neck, biting her lip and trying to muffle her moans. Link grumbled angrily making his rutting harsher and she cried out.

“Dont muffle those sweet little noises! You're my goddess! Scream for me darling!” He moaned, biting her neck and speeding up his thrusts.

Her moans grew louder a small amounts of blood dribbled from the bite marks on her shoulder. The fear of her leaving him had still settled in his stomach, his desperation causing his thrusts to become hurried and aggressive.

“Mph! Link!”

“I'm not leaving you! I'm not letting you leave,” he growled. “I'm going to fill you up darling. Once you're nice and stuffed with my young you'll have to stay.”

Y/N threw her head back in pleasure, unsure where this sudden idea came from. He bit her neck repeatedly as her moans grew louder and she felt something inside her snap. She dug her nails into his shoulder as her cum smeared between the two sweaty bodies. He groaned feeling her gush and sank her teeth into her shoulder. Thick strings of his cum filled her tight hole, forming a creamy white ring around where their bodies met. The cum dribbled down from her hole. They wanted in unison as she rested her head on his shoulder.

“Link... that... I still have to-”

“No, I'm not letting you leave me! You're mine, all mine.”

“Link.”

“NO! I don't care how much cum I need to pump you full of! You're my wife now, you don't get to just leave me cause that Zelda is safe.”

“LINK!” Y/N yells, rubbing her thumb over his cheek. “I don't want to leave you either.”

OKAY, IM DONE, this is my first ever time writing smut and it was kinda difficult- as I said earlier, you freaks better enjoy this. @rainstops I know you're a Link simp so enjoy lol.

[monstas1ut]

Characters Having Sex w/ black!s/o

BYAKUYA K , ICHIGO, KENPACHI, ACE, LEVI, MADARA

contains

__ +18 black coded reader, female reader, Squirting, the word slut, impreg, size diff, reader is claimed to have hairbeads in one of the Headcannons, heel kissing, teasing, pussy eating

a/n

___ Thanks again for all of the support, I’d love comments as well! And everyone is welcome to give me their suggestions, I don’t mind one bit!

Byakuya Kuchiki is the most erotic, passionate man that you’ve ever come across. His voice changes when around you. His face turns from a blank scowl to a gentle expression. How could he not? His wife was absolutely ethereal, gorgeous, and down right doll-like. There was something about you that he couldn’t shake loose from. Your finger was wrapped with Byakuya’s whole being.

There’s no doubt that Byakuya treats you like his Queen.

Byakuya would lay you down with care, he’ll admire your soft body and he’ll vocally pick out your insecurities. He will firmly say just how much he loves them, how much he loves you as a person. Your sweet hearted husband treats you as if you’re the only woman in the world. However, if you think about it, you are. You are the only woman in his world.

“You’re ravishing. I’m quite glad you chose this color, it enhances your skin color.”

“I do wish for you to keep this on, I’ll try not to ruin it.”

Byakuya is a man who’s quite fond of clothed sex. Lingerie, dresses, and heels. Specifically heels that strap up your legs. The gold color of them would completely wreck him. They look so good on your brown skin. He always thought you looked expensive. He can’t help but imagine them by his face. And a small secret is that he will kiss each of the strings and the heel itself before sinking his cock inside of you.

“My beautiful Queen, Mrs. Kuchiki”

“You’ve gotten me so worked up… I deeply apologize for what I am about to do.”

“Don’t be bratty with me, I will give you money to fix the damage..” Byakuya will simply be referring to your lace, your acrylics, and your makeup. Because really, he can’t help but pin your wrists above your head. His cock was above average, it was so pretty and elegant just like his aura. He bared no hair below, and it was clean. It didn’t curve, but it had a clean, straightened form. It dug inside you with soft, slow strokes, and it found your g-spot every time.

Byakuya seems like a gentle, sweet, loving man, and he is. However, one thing that can push him over the edge is that pretty brown pussy squirting on his cock. He doesn’t expect it all the time, no, but he can’t help but make you feel like you’ve reached heaven. His overstimulation would include fingering you the rest of the way, or softly sucking at your clit with passion. He’d completely forget about his own pleasure… but it’s because of you.

“What such beauty…” he may sound as if he’s alright.. but he’s fought against cumming at least five times.

Ichigo Kurosaki is such a shocker and a goofball. Being in an established relationship with him is a ride in itself. He would be completely invisible most of the time, but he still thinks about you. Whether you are a human or a soul reaper, you still barely see him. He is the strongest among most, there’s no way he can’t be on the front lines. But, best believe he’s thinking about you. He’s thinking about how you laugh, your overly glossy lips, your beads and how they make so much noise.

Lord knows he’s craving your touch. He can’t even function sometimes when he’s gone for too long. He misses your touch, how you cook, and your mushroom hat(he knows it’s a bonnet, he just loves to piss you off). Ichigo gets agitated so quickly, he usually runs to you when it’s beginning to be too much for him. All of it builds up because he’s unable to see you, but damn does he give it to you the second he sees you.

Ichigo is very caring, he’s more of a gentleman in bed.. but he won’t hesitate to slut you out if you ask for more. He legit doesn’t care if you have your bonnet on, or if some of your acrylics have broken off. Ichigo doesn’t even care if you’re wearing a plain, big tee. He’s pushing that shit up and he’s using his cock to make you cum.

Big boy Ichigo has a cock that tilts to the side. It’s very thick and long. He hits the best spots inside of you, and it’s absolutely perfect the way your insides caress it. He prefers gripping your ass cheeks with a tightness, and making you go slow while you’re bouncing on him or if you’re in the doggy style position. He especially loves it if the sun is beaming from the window, shining right on your brown skin. He likes the glow, he loves the softness of your brown pussy lips around his cock. The way you showed yourself to him.

“Just… like… that… fuck”

“Ass looks so pretty like this..” Ichigo will immediately burst if you shake your ass. He really can’t deal with it. He’s the type to cum in his jeans if you dance on him, what makes you think he can survive your wet pussy and your huge ass bouncing to him. And at the same time? No. He will get his revenge that’s for sure.

All that will be heard is your loud moans and whimpers as Ichigo pounds your kitty. The backshots would sound like bombs.. and your eyes will not only roll back, but your brain would go blank.

“You’ve lost it huh? Poor thing.”

“Don’t run yet… I’m not finished y/n… Baby cmon…”

Kenpachi Zaraki had a thing about himself. The male was too large for anyone to even consider him soft. However, behind closed doors, Kenpachi is a big bear to you. Not only does he fall into your little acts, but he will come to your rescue everytime. Much to his dismay, his obvious care for you has slipped in public a few times. If you’re visibly in danger, he’s literally going to go insane, more than he already is. You’re his everything.

Kenpachi has lost a lot, he can’t let you leave him too. That is why he is as careful as possible. He may jeer some rude comments at you, he may push you once or twice.. and he may even press your buttons, but he won’t do it harshly. Just like in the bedroom. It wouldn’t be all extravagant, hell, it may not even be in the bedroom. Unlike other men, Kenpachi doesn’t plan shit. If he gazes upon you fighting like a complete maniac, yet still being a sexy slut, he’s gonna get hard.

The captain is easy to please and turn on. You could stick your tongue out at him and he’s immediately hard. A fairly huge thing is the way you’re shaped, though. Kenpachi cared nothing for women in his earlier days, hell, he still doesn’t. But, you were just that one exception. Your height was so low, yet your power level was as a lieutenant(he’ll brag about you all the time).

But the thing is that Kenpachi watches you intensely while you take his cock. He was beyond average, as so was his height. There wasn’t really a huge shock when his cock thumped on your pussy the first time you two had sex. Overtime, it’s become easier for you, and it’s made Kenpachi revel in the soft feel of heaven.

“Damn this pussy is tight.”

“Stop squeezin’ me like that… before I fuck you to sleep.”

Kenpachi also loves when you talk to him like YOU own HIM. When in reality , it’s the other way around. If you dare to act bratty around him, that just makes him have a certain excuse for pulling at your braids, or whatever hairstyle you have in your head that day. He loves ruining it.. hey, he believes if you act that bratty, you don’t deserve it.. but it’s not like he won’t go to the human world and steal what you need… he’ll do it. Besides, like Byakuya, he’s wrapped around your finger.

“How can you take all of me… shit!”

“You gotta be shittin me if you think I’m pulling out. Go ahead an’ pass out, I’m just gonna keep goin’..”

Madara Uchiha is a man of substance. One may think he doesn’t take pleasure in sex often, but wow are they incorrect. Once a black woman falls into his arms, he’s completely blind to everything and everyone else. You sparked life into his eyes. His dullness had lightened the second you came around. His secret was being touch starved, and the second you came around him, bold as ever, he melted almost.

This man was scary, everyone knows this, but you weren’t afraid one bit. You even called him ‘sugar’, ‘baby’, and ‘love’. He scowled the first time he even heard it, he practically threatened you as well. However this didn’t deter you from him, it made you try to get closer. Madara started noticing himself fall when you’d bring him meals, speak to him, and even take up for him. He couldn’t help but pair you as his own.

And once you were his, there was no backing out.

Madara specifically took a liking to the opposites of you both. The only thing in common was that you both came from strong clans. Your brown skin, your hair, it was all different. Even the way you spoke was different, and he couldn’t help but listen to it in more ways than one.

“Open. Don’t hide your voice from me.”

“I suppose you rather I stop? No..? Then act as if you mean it.”

Madara can’t help it when he’s alone, he has to cum to your sweet words. He doesn’t even mind if they were slurred or babbles. He will overstimulate you until he turns you dumb. He will tie you up just to hear your whines, and he will make you say his name over and over again until he’s satisfied.

Madara’s cock was so damn big, so it wasn’t hard for him to get that outcome. He always has you creaming on his cock, and so much. The tears coming from your eyes never fails to make him even more rough.. although, he does try to be romantic. He can be very romantic and sweet, but sometimes he loses himself. His eyes turn that familiar red, his senses are higher, and all he can think about is catching that high while you’ve come on his cock more than four times.

The room would be potent with your delightful smells, and the Uchiha mark that was on that shirt you wore would be covered in sweat.

“It’s so damn hard to be gentle with you, my love. Especially when I think about how precious you’d appear with a large belly..”

“I wonder how many times I can place a baby inside of you… you’d love that right?”

Please say yes, because he’ll cum instantly…

Levi Ackerman was a virgin before you, please understand that. He didn’t have time for such matters. So, when coming across you, he’s absolutely appalled with how you act. You’re blunt, you have the same energy as him, and you’re beautiful. You were much different from the others. Not only was the island filled with fair skinned people, but they didn’t even know people could come out such a color.

There were some who thought you were weird, but just about every man there thought that you were beautiful. The sun would wrap around your skin, and Levi would stare so damn hard that Hange would completely destroy him verbally. Levi started to become so enchanted by you that he began thinking lewd. So, when he finally got his hands on you… he absolutely went berserk.

Levi runs on pure instinct. If it’s been a bad day, he’s pounding you harder than he looked like he could. He’s short, you’re taller than him, and thicker.. but you would be lying if you said he didn’t have you cumming every three minutes. His short height didn’t compare to his cock, that’s for sure. You kind of wonder how he gets to conceal that thing while wearing his uniform.

Levi is fifty percent gentle, the other fifty being a complete maniac. There’s no knowing what you’ll get this day, or the next. One day, he could be completely on board with you slamming your ass down on him, but the next? He’ll be making sure you know that you have no authority. He loves watching you try to catch your breath, it’s funny when you also try to keep quiet. You don’t want anyone hearing you, and Levi has also felt this way.. but overtime he’s become a bit of a smut.

“You can scream louder than that, y/n…”

“You make such a mess… Your pussy makes more noise than your mouth.”

Teasing is a huge thing for him. Levi can’t have sex with you without teasing you at least once. Seeing you begging for his cock is all he needs to get him going. That, or when you try to get into your uniform. He just knew your ass was huge, everyone could attest to knowing this. It was an inside joke for the scouts. Everyone would joke solely about how you struggled to put your pants on today. Levi would silently agree when he wasn’t in a relationship with you.. but now, most people have stopped saying it.. Levi gets jealous easily, and Jean and Connie have been the two to really get scolded and hurt by Levi.

Only Levi can talk about how huge your ass is. Hell, he’s the one making it bounce at night. He’s the one that has absolutely made you a pool of water. One of Levi’s favorite things would be watching you fuck yourself on his cock.. really. He loves when you’re bouncing on it, shaking ass on it, grinding on it. He won’t admit it, but he’ll cum fast… yet he’ll still be hard. And please don’t try to leave him before he's cum, he’ll grab your curls and will not let go until you finish your duty… he doesn’t care how much you cry and whine about it.

Rarely, Levi will give pity. He’ll see how weak you are by the end of the day, and he’ll suck up his problems to tend to yours. He likes to be clean and sterile, and he knows you are too, but eating pussy was a thing he had to ease into. He couldn’t even understand how you suck him off.. but if you could do it, he could do the same to you. So, he usually eats you out when you’re very tired or annoyed. He goes so slow. He makes sure to touch every crevice. That man’s lips have been absolutely everywhere… and I mean everywhere.. he doesn’t talk about it afterwards, but he’s definitely harder than a rock.

Levi may not say it, but there was something about getting dirty with you…

“Filthy little slut…”

“Might as well get you to squirt. You’re begging me to do it anyway.”

He just wants to drink it…

Portgas D. Ace is head over heels for you, so much so that he is whipped. You’ve sparked this sudden love for women, but he couldn’t look at another woman like this. He’s like a little boy finding out he can imagine things. His brain is absolutely destroyed the second he meets you. Your energy was just too sexy. The way you look at him, the way you lick your lips, the way you rub his arm. Ace can’t help but imagine just how proactive you could be in bed.

Eventually, he doesn’t have to imagine.. but his brain still sabotages him. He constantly thinks about how you’d look in certain things, certain hairstyles. He especially loves braids and he has a huge thing for them. They seem so perfect, just like you. Your hair defines you, and it’s the most important thing on your body, Ace would understand that fully. He knows it’s your crown.. that’s why he doesn’t touch it during sex.

Poor baby. Ace can’t help when you're sucking him off. He’s all over the place because he doesn’t want to touch your crown. However, if you tell him you can, he’ll be so gentle. He won’t even grip it, he’ll run his fingers through it and inspect the feel. He won’t even yank it when you’re deepthroating him. He’ll just pant and growl.

Ace will slap your ass though, let’s get that straight. He’s not all innocent. He will do whatever you tell him to do. Hell, he’ll even sit there handsomely and watch you tease him with a lap dance. Or, he’ll watch you use your fingers for pleasure. This man is a flip flop, he can dom you into the night, but will sub for you any second. He’s a sweetie pie, he will cherish every part of your body without hesitation.

All he asks is that you make it known that he pleasures you greatly. And he does. His cock is always so warm. It makes your whole body feel comforted, but sometimes it’s so hot that you two are sweating from all of the sexual energy. Ace can barely control himself when you’re draining him.. It could result in some accidental burns, but he will apologize so quickly.. but a secret is that he nuts pretty fast if you still keep going after the slight burn.. especially if you moan from it…

“You’re-… so beautiful, y/n…”

“I love you so much… Damn. I love this pussy too… I hope it loves me back…”

Ace is such a joker when you two are in bed. He can’t help but crack a few because that’s just how he is. He will laugh when you make a cute sound, and it’s contagious.. so you end up laughing and moaning at the same time. It’s actually quite hot to Ace.. and he manages to hold his orgasm, but that’s because he tries not to focus too much on it.

“Damn it-… y/n I can’t-…”

“Sorry! It was too tight, I couldn’t pull out because you were gripping me too hard!… it’s too tight…”

“It felt so good though…”

ⓒ Monstas1ut (do not copy)