#gordon in wonderland

[qwakque]

CULINARY CRUUCIBLEEE

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I don’t know if you’ve already covered this, but I had a question to ask about the VDC in Book 5. To clarify, I understand that RSA needed to win for thematic and character arc purposes, and that in-lore it was an audience vote not a professional one. The story beats line up. But the choice of cutesy and childlike RSA performance over the more refined and professional NRC performance still doesn’t quite click with me. Is there some kind of cultural difference that didn’t translate to explain why one performance was supposed to be understood as preferred over the other? Even if it was an audience vote, the standards should be higher just by virtue of this being a big name competition for teenagers held at a prestigious school.

Very quickly, I want to add a couple other points that help to explain why RSA won over NRC! Book 6 opens early on with Vil noting that NRC was not able to perform as well as they wanted to since they had just come out of a difficult battle against his OB form. (Because of this, he accepts responsibility for their loss.) Thus, the NRC performance may not have actually been as "refined", "professional", or as polished as we imagine it to be.

Additionally, it’s stated in book 5 that RSA’s song choice had universal appeal whereas NRC’s did not. We see this effect on the production crew when Neige and the Seven Dwarves do their practice run; their performance has a refreshing and soothing effect on what appears to be an older audience (as it plays to their nostalgia); we must consider this when evaluating RSA and NRC. For example, I know that I really disliked NRC's performance (sue me/j) because it sounded very oppressive and therefore unrelatable to me. The lyrics are literally about how NRC will dominate their opponents and win 😭 Sure, the music and lyrics for Neige's song aren't complex, but they're at the very least accessible and easy to follow along with. (That's not to say that I prefer RSA's performance though; I'm just explaining why someone might not find NRC's performance appealing.)

Lastly! We as players are looking at the two song + dance numbers from an omniscient perspective. We need to consider our own biases when judging, and accept that it may differ from the characters in-universe view things. Maybe you prefer NRC’s performance. That’s fair! But how much of that is informed by your personal music preferences? And how much of that comes from your attachment to the NRC characters, since you’ve followed their stories up until this point? As Rook points out in book 5, he’s aware of how hard NRC has worked to get here… but he’s also aware of Neige’s hardships too (er, in terms of his lifestyle; ie living with the dwarves and doing chores, etc.). Consider then, would you honestly not have a bias for RSA had Twisted Wonderland’s story centered on them instead of NRC?

It’s also worth noting that how things are seen in Twisted Wonderland may reflect its own unique culture rather than how we in the real world may perceive it. Maybe the people of Twisted Wonderland just prefer a cute, nostalgic performance. This may not necessarily correlate with west or east at all and that has always been a possibility! (While TWST does take inspirations from the real world, it’s not a 1:1 with the real world.)

dkhlbaiyfadvfoad Okay, NOW onto the actual question being pitched!

When you look at media from different countries, there are some stark differences in how the same information is presented. One example is like... any Gordon Ramsay show yes, I am using him as an example. Compare the American cut and the British cuts; there are much more loud sound effects, dramatic music, yelling, and cussing in the American cuts. The British cuts, by comparison, are notably quieter and contemplative, with hardly any cursing. Another example! Looking at variety shows from the east vs the west, they're quite different as well. Eastern variety shows tend to be "cute", usually using various cute sound effects or edits which make the guests appear more bashful (like drawing blush over their cheeks or something). We don't see this in western TV shows, which are louder and more boisterous. I've noticed a similar trend in the music industries of the east vs the west as well, where eastern stars tend to emphasize their youthfulness and playfulness and western stars try to be more "mature" and grown-up. These are just my personal observations and may not reflect reality, especially seeing as I am not involved in music-oriented spaces.

I asked friends and personal contacts in both eastern and western pop music fandom spaces for their own insights (which is also in no way representative of both fandoms, but at least this gives us other perspectives for consideration). To summarize, most of them replied that they did not think cultural differences account for this situation, since equating a preference for a "cute" aesthetic is not the same as RSA performing what is basically a nursery rhyme. There's no real-world equivalent for that (at least none that they can think of), and I agree with all of this. There’s really no point in trying to compare the two.

I remember lots of Japanese fans being upset at NRC’s loss too (when book 5’s ending was first put out), so the impression I got was they didn’t prefer the performance of RSA over NRC either. It was not just the international fandom that was disappointed. I don’t believe TWST ever intentionally set out to present “Everyone Yahoo!” as the “superior” song and dance number, or as the performance we’re supposed to like more than the other. It was very much framed as something pathetic and unlikely to win in most of the eyes of the NRC characters. They make fun of RSA’s clumsiness and claim it’ll be easy to win over them. The player most likely is supposed to think this way too—until Vil, the one with an eye for showbiz, realizes his loss. Why? Because it doesn’t matter what we think. What matters is how this clumsy performance will resonate with the common person.

What I think it ultimately comes down to is emotional appeal to the audience, which is more of a personal/individual level thing than a cultural thing. The competition is decided by audience vote. The average person honestly does not care about quality or standards. No one is giving them rules to evaluate by, no one is going to tell them off for not having strict standards. They will pick based on what they like best or whatever makes them feel good. And what will make anyone feel food, regardless of age, sex, race, education, socioeconomic status, etc.? Something cozy and familiar, thoughts of simpler times… Nostalgia.

Something else to think about is what a powerful motivator emotions can be. There are irl idol competition shows that are high stakes and decided by audience vote just like VDC/SDC… and people will still vote for their favorites even if they gave a technically bad performance. This is because fans are so emotionally invested in and attached to the performer. It doesn’t matter how “bad” they are, the performer/performance makes the audience member feel impassioned, and they will then act according to those intense feelings. Think about what you’re like when you’re in a terrible mood vs a good one. You act completely differently, right?

I hope that perspective helps! 🙏 I tried to be as thorough as I could be in this response, but please let me know if I misspoke or maybe missed a point.

P.S. I happen to be responding to this ask after TWST showed us the NRC Tribe’s dance performance in a MMD video. I wonder if this only made the “NRC should have own” crowd double down on that opinion since now we’re seeing just what their performance looks like 🤔 (though we don’t have a complete MMD video of Neige’s group to directly compare, just this which shows part of the dance and not in the same clumsy way that Neige and co. perform it).

[martyrbat]

alfred in wonderland – batman tales: once upon a crime

[ID: a watercolour of Batman and several of his associated allies about to spring into an attack to save Alfred! All the characters are in their superhero costumes. Damian al Ghul is on top of a giant green dinosaur while holding a sword. Zatanna has her magic wand held up and ready to charge! Dick Grayson and Jason Todd are just standing there, next to Bruce in the centre. Jon Kent, still as a child, is floating in the air and has his fist outstretched in front of him! Barbara Gordon and Selina Kyle are on the front lines and are nearly blocking the others behind them in their eagerness to fight. END ID]

[blueeyeddarkknight]

Val singing "if you could read my mind" on the set of wonderland🤣🎶🥰

Source : wonderland bts on youtube

The usual thirst bonus 😉: Val serving cake 😏😋

Here's the full song by Val and Kate .. It's my favorite cover alongside the Johnny Cash version and the og by Gordon Lightfoot. Enjoy!

[ithseem]

Vil Schoenheit is not one to give backhanded compliments

[silentprotagcompetition]

Round 1

Gordon Freeman (Half Life) vs The Janitor (Willy's Wonderland)

[raesreadingcorner]

Alice By Heart Should have come back to stage and yes I'm still salty about it.

My infatuation with Alice by Heart is almost dangerous.

I wish it went to go onto broadway or even that we just had more videos of it because I'm obsessed and forever will be. There are only so many times that I can watch the same compilations and listen to the soundtrack without being sad that it didn't take off (thanks covid)

Sick to Death by Alice-ness is one of my favourite songs/scenes, the emotion and power is fucking outstanding. The first time I saw it, not so legally, I was in awe. Every single actor gave it their all (as they do in the whole show).

The book doesn't do the musical the justice it deserves. I just want to see this musical live 😭😭😭

The choreography, the harmonies, the chemistry is all so beautiful and then this heart breaking story that it's portraying with slices of fantasies from the world of Wonderland.

I'm just saying, if you have not yet heard or even listened to at least one song from this musical please do.

It is perfection (at least in my eyes)

Also Noah Galvin is in the og cast and his performance for all of his characters is top tier

[lilicannotfly]

Mkay so I’m stupid and very tired but idea/explanation lols

this whole thing is set in Twisted Wonderland btw. Any world building past halfway through book 6 isn’t real. Most doesn’t exist really. I’m just bored lols.

also I think I’m at like s1 e22 of spy x family and book 6 chap 67 of twst so be be warned or something. Oh and spoilers for everything else ig

Dipper is still looking through the journals but they lead to King Andrias and his whole deal with the core, and over the course of the story Dipper and Mabel befriend Azul (he gets dragged in unwittingly it’s really silly.) Big Bunny Dean is there ’cause I thought it’d be funny if he bought partial ownership of the Mostro Lounge (I suppose he made an offer that Azul (and Jade because they seem to have joint ownership of it) couldn’t resist use your imagination I’m not that creative✨✨)

And then after the core is defeated, it’s discovered that Dipper and Mabel belong on Earth and not in twst (Oop) and someone up their family line acidentally got yoinked there and just…stayed. So maybe they’re born with a bit of magic? I forget how(if it’s even explained) magic manifests in twst but they might have it I dunno man I don’t make the rules. Maybe they decide to go to earth and that’s how Crowley gets dragged in to ‘trying’ to get them home to earth. Anyhow.

Okay okay okay so even stupider but every time I saw the fire for the culinary crucible I thought of Gordon Ramsey so what if Eden College students (with Prinviple Bump as a co-headmage at NRC because why tf not lols they definitely need ’im) visit NRC for the culinary crucible ‘cause it’s good to learn cooking when you’re young, and who better to teach ya than Ina Garten, Gorden Ramsey, and Martha Stewart(with Snoop Dogg thrown in as a treat?)? (And then watch it be the nastiest food you’ve ever tried LOLS) And stella stars/Demetrius bolts are given out based on your end score. (Scores work the same way as in the game it’s not even that deep)

idk I think it’d be silly I think it’d be goofy and fun :3

[songbeyondthought]

“nothing comes or goes without a shadow”

i never fully thought about this lyric until now. it shows how everyone we meet leaves a lasting impression on our lives, even if they don’t stay in our lives forever. alice has to live her life without alfred, but their love has changed alice and she’ll never be the same person she was before she fell in love with him. and that’s such a bittersweet concept.

[house-of-slayterr]

Mad Tea Party:

Tag: @keffirinne @howl-fantasies @flaysthings @myers-meadow

Tw: Suicide fake out.

Today was boring. That’s saying something when it comes to Gotham. It was quiet… a little too quiet. Y/N and Victor were off doing god knows what, Basil was back in National City visiting his sister. And Little V was probably following Selena around like a lost puppy. Her little crush was cute, I had to admit. But I was a little worried, there’s more of her father in her than she lets on. Thank god I’m here to be the only voice of reason.

I sighed heavily as I got up from the couch, leaving to get a glass of water. Fuck it, perhaps even some wine. Who cares that it’s three pm in the middle of the week? Just as I debated pouring myself a glass, there was a knock at the door. I was quick to answer, people in Gotham get snippy if you leave them waiting too long.

“Hello?”

“Package for one Miss Blossom.” The post man said.

I raised a brow. I wasn’t expecting any packages from anyone. Unless this was Oliver’s lame excuse to say he was sorry. I wouldn’t put it past him to think gifts could change how I feel.

“Does it say who it’s from?” I asked.

The mail man shrugged.

“Was just told to deliver it ma’am, sign here please.”

I took the pen from his hand and signed off on his pad of paper. I took the box from him and politely closed the door. I placed the box down on the coffee table. It wasn’t all that heavy. And it didn’t smell of anything in particular. I scrunched my brows, glaring at the box as if it would sprout legs and leave from the discomfort.

“This is a stupid idea.” I said out loud, despite no one being around to hear.

You never open mystery packages with no return address. Let alone in a city like this. But the longer I sat there, the more my curiosity took over. I grabbed the blade I kept hidden in my boot, and cut open the tape. On the top of the box sat a bouquet of white roses, with red speckled here and there. This certainly wasn’t one of my works, and I didn’t want to know where the red came from.

I gently picked them up, avoiding the thorns that were still protruding wildly from the plant. Who on earth would send me flowers? There was fabric in the box… a dress. I picked it up to inspect it, and it wasn’t hard to piece together who this gift came from now. The pocket watch that feel from the dress pocket was a dead giveaway. I couldn’t help the small smile that crept onto my face. Nobody had ever sent me flowers before. I picked up the bouquet again, breathing in the sweet scent. My second mistake today.

Jervis’s POV:

I watched from the building across the street, a perfect view. My sweet little Alice looked different from the last time I saw her. She must have gotten a new hair cut, I was certain of it. And she looked just as lovely as ever, even from this far away.

My heart hammered in my chest as I saw her hesitate to open my gift. What was she waiting for? I was getting antsy. Would she even open it? But my prayers were answered when she finally took out a knife to open the box. Even front his far away I could see her eyes light up. She looked around the apartment as if to ask if the gifts were really meant to her. My eyes widened as I watched her pull the dress out of the box. She would look oh so pretty in her dress.

I knew my little florist well, she could never resist the temptation that were roses. I smiled as she took a deep breath from the bouquet. Everything was going according to plan. I excitedly sprinted to the stair case, getting off the room as quickly as I could. It wouldn’t be hard to get into her apartment. I fiddled with the lock for a second, using a Bobby pin to try and manurer around the pins the lock. A soft click sounded and I knew I was in. I quietly made my way across the room, admiring her sleeping form. She was so pretty when she slept, almost like an Angel.

I gently brushed a hair out of her face, and smiled down at her. My sweet little Alice. The world was too dangerous for someone like her. The sedative should last for a few hours, which gave me more than enough time to get everything ready. I picked her up, cradling her in my arms. I swore my heart almost stopped when she sleepily leaned her head against my chest. I was sure it was hammering by now.

I made it back to my warehouse no problem. The citizens of Gotham never even bat an eye. Everything was going perfect, for my tea party. And the other guests would be brought in soon. I giggled joyously, excitement shivering through every muscle in my body. I watched as my henchmen brought in the other three party guests. I frowned when it seemed the detective was very much away, and struggling against his fate.

His eyes landed on the chair Maggie was currently tied down too. I didn’t want her falling by accident. I couldn’t stand to ruin her sweet face. I found myself zoning out and daydreaming again, but Jim’s sickening voice brought me back down to Earth.

“What do you want from us Tetch?” He gritted.

“We’ll I can’t possibly go and spoil the surprise, patients is a key Detective. Something you think you would have learned by now.”

Jim scoffed as one of the guards sat him forcefully down in his chair. They were quick to arrange Miss Tompkins and Mr Pepper in their seats at the table. Both still very much unconscious, but it seemed the man was only the brink of waking up.

“Jervis, your problem is with me, let them go.” Jim suggested.

“No can do Jimbo, we don’t want to go spoiling our fun now.” I gave him a tight lipped smile.

I watched as Miss Tompkins began to stir as well.

“Greeting and welcome!” I greeted the two.

The look on her face when she realises where she was, was priceless. I wish Maggie was awake to see it. I watched as her eyes moved between her ex and her new lover.

“Love, are you alright? Are you hurt?” The man asked in an overly sweet tone.

It nearly made me nauseous.

“I’m alright,” she assured him, “are you ok?”

He gave her a curt nod. Her attention finally was back on me.

“What’s this about Jervis?” She asked.

Her tone was demanding and I didn’t appreciate it. They were all lucky I gave the order to get them to me in one piece. It would be no fun if someone got hurt before afternoon tea even started. I chose to ignore her, a few more minutes passed as I prepared tea and began to set the table. I could see Jim’s eyes trained on Maggie, from the side of my own. I hated the way he looked at her. He wasn’t good enough for someone like my Alice.

I placed a cup in front of her sleeping form.

“Perhaps I gave you too much.” I pondered out loud.

I didn’t want her to wake up before her surprise, but perhaps I went a little overboard.

“What did you give us?” Lee asked again.

“Sevoflurane, my dear. It’s a fast acting anaesthetic.”

I watched a look of distress flood her features. Before the others had gotten here, I changed Maggie into her costume. She looked better than I could have ever imagined.

I couldn’t hide the smile on my face as she finally decided to join us. I watched as her sleepy eyes scanned the room, taking in her surroundings. I expected to see fear, but that wasn’t it. There was a glint of something different in her eyes, and I wanted to know what it was.

“Ah, Sleeping Beauty is finally awake!” I announced cheerfully.

The first words out of her mouth nearly startled me.

“Where the hell have you been?” She asked incredulously.

How quaint, she noticed my absence. Jim raised a brow at the young woman. I blinked at her for a moment. Not so certain I was comfortable with her sweating. Ladies should never cuss.

“Really Maggie, that’s your question?” Jim asked.

She shrugged the best she could with the restraints tying her down.

“Don’t worry my little Dove, I’ve been around. I’ve been quite busy recently.”

She looked around at her fellow tea mates.

“Yeah, I can see that.”

She let out a heavy sigh.

“Well, now that we’re all here, the show can begin.” I announced.

“What show?” Jim asked.

“We’ll the tea party of course! And now we shall commence. You see Jimbo, a little birdie told me you were having girl problems. And I feel for you, truly, it’s hard to find a good women out there.”

“That doenst make any sense.” Jim quipped back.

“We’ll of course it does Silly. Here’s how this is going to work. You, dear Detective, have to choose. You have the evening,” I placed a gun on the table, sliding it to Jim. “There’s no way out of this building that I won’t be watching. So no cheating. Either you shoot him, and take Dr Tompkins for yourself, or, you shoot her, and choose Maggie.”

I gave a pleased smirk at the end of my little speech.

“I’ll have them untie you all, and remember, there’s no way out.”

I turned my attention to Maggie, her expression was practically unreadable. Of course, I knew I would never let her get hurt. Not truly anyway. She was certainly not as timid as when we first met. But I suppose you can’t expect innocence in Gotham.

My goons moved forward to remove the shackles from the others. But not Maggie, none of them had permission to touch her. I made my way around the table, squatting down next to her as I fiddled with the restraints. Her eyes were practically trained on my fingers. It made me blush slightly, a little tremor in my hand from the way my heart skipped a beat. Her now free hand reached out to mine as she had my complete and total attention. I swore I stopped breath.

“Mi Corazon, you look lovely in your party dress,” I completed. Lovely wasn’t even the right word, it didn’t capture enough of her beauty. “Te ves positivamente radiante.”

I was close enough to see the flush of her cheeks.

“Flattery isn’t going to work this time, Quierdo. Fair warning, Y/N not going to be very happy when she finds out I skipped family spa day for this.”

I took no interest in her threat, my brain simply replaying that pet name over and over again.

“Puedes hablarme español todos los días, mi amor.” A purr rose in the back of my throat.

She rolled her eyes. Jim reached for the gun as expected, and trained it on me.

“Let is go Tetch.” He demanded.

I laughed, not bother to get up from my spot beside her.

“Go ahead, shoot me Gordon.” I taunted.

I heard the soft click of the gun… it was empty. The look on his face was priceless. It’s what he deserved for being a dick to my sweet little Alice.

“Did you honestly think I’d give you a loaded weapon?” I mused. “No, if you want your bullets, you’ll just have to beg little Alice here nicely.”

I pet her head, and she looked up at me with confusion in her eyes. I could easily get lost in them forever. They were far my hypnotic than any of my little trinkets. I wondered if I could harvest it, the way she could make anyone do anything for her with just a bat of her eyelashes. It was captivating.

“Las balas están en tu bolsillo, palomita.” I gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead, right where her hairline started.

She smelled strongly of peaches and lemon grass. It was heavenly.

“Si elige mal, dispárale, nos duele.”

I instructed before departing the scene. Truth be told, I didn’t want Jim to have her. But I didn’t want him to choose Lee either, that would just break Maggie’s fragile heart.

Maggie’s POV:

My face flushed when Jervis leaned in to kiss my forehead. It was such a simple gesture, but it made me melt. I knew it shouldn’t, that it was wrong, the man just kidnapped me for fucks sake. But Jervis had never given me any reason to believe he’d hurt me. I watched as he left the room, presumably dead bolting us inside.

“Did he just call you Alice?” Jim was the first to break the silence.

“Don’t read too much into Jim, this is Gotham, you’ve seen worse.” I dismissed him.

“Do you have any idea what happened to his last Alice?” His tone seemed angry now.

“She would have been fine if you didn’t have an incessant urge to stick your nose into everyone business.” I snapped.

“You’re hanging out with too many villains Maggie, that’s the problem.”

“Ha!” I spat out a laugh, throwing my head back. “You want to tell me what my problem is, that’s rich coming from you. Mr I’m afraid of commitment! We wouldn’t even be here right now if it wasn’t for you, so shut it!”

Lee cleared her throat to try to break the tension, but it just made me more agitated.

“Fighting amonsut each other isn’t going to help anything, we have to find a way out of here.” She said.

Mario was already up on his feet, pacing the drab concrete room. I smoothed out my dress with my hands, adjusting my apron. I reached across the table and poured myself a cup of tea. This was going to be a long day, but hey, at least I wasn’t bored anymore. And I was right about what I said earlier, Oswald would probably freak out with me being missing, and send her to come fetch me.

“Me my guest.” I suggested, pointing at the door Jervis left out of. “If you get shot, don’t blame me pretty boy.”

I brought the beautifully decorated tea cup to my mouth. We were drinking from a red glass set, my favourite colour. Jervis had planned an entire tea party for me, and in his own fucked up way it was sort of cute. Suddenly my hand was slapped away from my face.

“What is your damage Jim?!” I exclaimed!

“Don’t drink that, it could be poisoned.” He said.

“Cet idiot ne peut pas être sérieux.” I mumbled under my breath. “You don’t get it, Jervis is not going to poison me.” I said flatly.

“He did use an illegal anesthetiser to knock you out and kidnap you, or did that part just get lost on you?” Mario spoke directly to me for the first time.

“Yet I don’t have a single scratch on me.” I held my arms out for proof. “If Jervis wanted me dead, my brains would be splattered on the concrete by now. But they aren’t, wanna know why? Cause he’s not going to hurt me. He’s already lost one Alice, I don’t think he could handle another.”

“And you’re just ok with that?” Lee asked bewildered.

“You learn to be ok with a lot of things real quick when you don’t have many other options. Why do you think so many people stranded on islands convert to cannibalism? Life goes a lot easier when you stop trying to change things outside of your control. This, is not my tea party, I’m just playing the game.”

I glared down at the broken glass now on the floor. I reached across and stole Jim’s cup, pouring myself yet another cup of tea. This time he didn’t try to stop me. The only smart thing he’d done all night. How could you love someone so much that you hated them? I wish my heart would stop competing with my brain for two seconds so I could think. Lee sighed.

“We’ll it’s clear to me Jim, that this Jervis guy seems to think you’re still in love with my fiancé.” Mario stated.

Jim immediately got defensive. And I had to say, it hurt. I mean I knew he still had feelings for Lee, she was pretty and smart, a dangerous combo in Gotham. I balled my hand into a fist under the table, squeezing the bullets in my pocket. I zoned out most of the conversation, I didn’t want to hear his lame excuses as he tries to deny it. As much as I hated her, if Lee made Jim genuinely happy, then he could have her. Who am I to stand in the way of that?

“Wait, are you related to Sofia?” I asked out of the blue.

Everyone had been up and around, trying to find any week-spot in this fortress. I lazily sap at the table, enjoying my tea.

“Yes, why?” Mario asked.

“No reason.” I quickly countered.

What was I supposed to tell the man, that his sister didn’t die how he thinks she did? That I shot her point blank in the head because she kissed Jim. Well she did a lot more than that, but the point still stands. It wouldn’t vote in my favour if I made an enemy of him at this moment. I didn’t need a Falcone hating me. He glared at me questionably but decided to drop it.

“This really doesn’t concern you in the slightest does it?” He asked.

“We’re not in any immediate danger, I’m actually quite enjoying the quiet.”

“Not in immediate danger?” Jim scoffed. “Wow, they really did a number on you.”

My glare was trained on him within seconds.

“Good strategy, keep shit talking my family Jim, see where that gets you.”

“Was that a theart?” He narrowed his eyes at me.

“Trust me, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now if that was supposed to be a threat.”

“Are you really just going to sit there and pout all night?”

“What do you think?”

After a few hours I could tell they were all going stir crazy. There was not an ounce of sunlight in this drab little box. I’d taken note of the various cameras littered around the place. Jervis was watching, that much was clear. He wouldn’t let us get away without making a choice. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the bullets, lazily tossing them in the air and then catching them again.

“Give up yet?” I asked, shaking a bullet for emphasis.

“What do you think?” He spit out my earlier comment with equally as much venom.

Funny how I should hate him, but seeing him angry like this just made me want to take him right here, right now. Make Lee watch so she’d understand his choice completely. But that was cruel, a thought I would never entertain.

I finally stood up from my seat, frustration making it too hard to sit still.

“Christ Jim, everyone with eyes can see your still in love with her! Stop being such a fucking pussy and just say it already!” I snipped. “I want to go home.” I said a little softer.

“Of course, cause you have no stake in this, either way you win. Right, Maggie?”

I starred at him with eyes wide. The audacity of this bitch.

“Oh for fucks sake, you think I want to be here right now Jim? Stuck in this room with you and her? Is quite literally rather you just shoot me and get this over with! Because if I have to listen to your agitating sexy, grating angelic voice for one more second, I’m going to pull a Van Gogh and cut off my fucking ears! You know I’m supposed to be at the airport in a few hours to welcome Basil home right? And I promised little V I’d take her, Selena and Bruce out for Ice cream to give Alfred a break. I’m already going to get my ass beat when I go home for fucking up Y/N pristine schedule, and Oswald is going to scream his head off and not let me leave that dreaded mansion for a whole month! So if you could kindly just make a god damn choice for once in your miserable life, now is the time!” I ranted.

I threw the bullets down at his feet.

“Do you what you fucking want with them, I don’t care. But don’t you dare try to blame all this on me. Loves a two way street Gordon, and you seem to always place yourself smack dab in the middle of traffic.”

“My apologises for not being enthused that some psycho is trying to force my hand and make me kill someone.”

I froze. By the gods is he dumb. What is it about Himbos that just makes my heart swell?

“Les dieux me donnent la force!” I turned my attention back to him “Shoot someone!”

“What?” Mario asked.

“Jervis said you had to shoot someone, not that you had to kill them. Did Dent never explain loopholes to you Jim?” I sighed.

“Just shoot someone in the foot or something so we can leave?”

He seemed to contemplate my words for second. I could tell he was still hesitant about it, any other moment I would have found it endearing. But right now it was getting on my last nerve.

“Jim, listen to me, Y/N is probably already on her way here now. If she makes it here before we get out, she’s going to shoot all of us, for fun. She tolerates you but she has no qualms with killing those two. So if you want to play hero, fine, just give me the damn gun.”

“No.” He said after a long pause.

“No?” I asked.

“Nobody’s getting shot, I’ll find us another way out of this.”

I ran a hand through my hair in frustration.

“It’s not his fault he’s not like you.” Lee commented.

“Yeah and what do you know about me little miss perfect? Hmmm? You get to walk out of here and get married, and have Jim follow you around like a love sock puppy. So what are you complaining about? You win Tompkins! You don’t need to rub it in my face.” I said.

She cringed a bit at that. It was comforting to know she felt the least bit guilty. I sat back down, sipping my now cold tea.

“Maggie-“ Jim started, but I was quick to cut him off.

“Don’t!” I warned. “Don’t you dare talk right now, cause I know every word about to come out of that pretty little mouth of yours is going to be a lie. I’m always going to love you like you’re going to love her. Don’t make this any more painful that it already is.”

My voice lost any bitterness and spite. Frankly I was exhausted. He sighed. I did my best to bite back any tears that were threading to fall. I wasn’t going to cry in front of her of all people.

“What if I give Jervis the ending he actually wants?” Jim tired.

This piqued my interest.

“Jim you don’t have to do this, we can find another way out.” Lee begged.

One thing I appreciated about Mario was he didn’t talk much. He knew when to keep quiet, and honestly, he seemed too good for Leslie. He was a hell of a lot better than his sister, that’s for sure. It seemed I’d gotten lost because before I knew it Jim was standing in front of me. He held the gun out to me. I raised a brow, but took it none the less.

“Do what you have to do.” He said.

“Are you insane Jim?” Lee asked. “Sure, give the mentally unstable girl a gun!”

Even Mario seemed taken aback by her statement. All this time I thought my hatred for her was one sided, but it seemed to be mutual. I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction. Jim stood there, not attempting to be a moving target. It seems some part of him still trusted me, and that was refreshing. There was one bullet left in my pocket. I pulled it out, examining it for a second. I popped it in the chamber of the revolver and spun the clip.

I stood up and walked to the centre of the room, glaring at the camera.

“I know you can here me J,” I challenged, “let them go, or I swear to god I will splatter my brains all of this costume!”

I held the gun to my temple, looking right down the barrel of the security camera. Jim looked at me like I was insane. He meant for me to shoot him. Mario shuffled on his feet awkwardly, and Leslie just stood there dumbfounded.

“Jervis.” I warned.

When he didn’t respond I pulled the trigger. I heard the familiar click of the empty chamber and flinched slightly. I pulled back the hammer, spinning the clip.

“Stop ignoring me Jervis.” I tried once more.

Still… nothing. I put my faith into that shot and pulled the trigger once more. Again met with a deafening silence.

“Hatter!” I finally tested.

Ready to go one more time, when I heard the screech of the PA system roaring to life.

“No aprietes ese gatillo, mi princesa!” He pled.

“Then open the fucking door!”

My finger ghosted over the trigger once more.

“Ok, ok. Just put the gun down.”

I smiled, satisfied that it had worked. Not my brightest moment, it certainly was a risky plan. But if living with Oswald has taught me anything, is that it dangerous to mess with someone’s illusion of you. And I just sent Jervis’s crashing down. My head snapped to the door when I heard the creak of the steel lock. I held the gun down by my side and made eye contact with Jim. I nodded my head to the door.

“Go.” I said. “You can try to catch him another time. But you won’t find him Jim.”

I knew what he was thinking. When it came to crime at least, he was pretty cut and dry. The only thing he loved more than Leslie Tompkins, was his job. She’s smart to get out while she can. Marry someone reasonable like Mario Falcone. He looked hesitant but left none the less, escorting the two “civilians” out of the building.

“Oh, and for what it’s worth Leslie, I hope the two of you have a good wedding.” I said.

The room was early silent now. I placed the gun down on the table and sat back in my chair. After a few minuets the door cheeked open again with a guilty looking Mad Hatter peeking his head through.

“You can come in Jervis.” I sighed.

He was quick to cross the room and kneel down before me. His eyes looked red, almost as if he’d be crying. Had he?

“I’m sorry Princesa,” he said, grabbing my hand in his. “I was just trying to help, please forgive me?” He begged.

I let out a groan, rolling my shoulders to release any previous tension they were holding. He looked like a child who’d just gotten yelled to by his mother.

“I’m not mad at you J.”

His eyes lit up at that.

“Really?”

“Yes, now get off the floor.”

He quickly scrambled to his feet, sitting in the chair that Jim had been previously sat in.

“I really just wanted to help. He’s your- he’s your Alice.” He said sheepishly.

Most people never got to see this side of Jervis Tetch, the furious Mad Hatter. But I enjoyed this side of him. This was the Jervis I’d first met that day in the cemetery. No villains, no hero’s, no bullshit. But I’d be delusional to ever wish for those times back. I wasn’t the same girl I was that day, and she would be horrified to see what Gotham turned us into. But that Girl wouldn’t have survived Gotham, so perhaps she’d give me leniency. It was survival of the fittest. I cracked a small smile at Jervis’s words.

“He is my Alice, huh.” I laughed. “But more importantly, I am yours. Alice and Hatter, friends forever.” I said.

He looked positively giddy, and I would be a liar if I said it wasn’t adorable.

“Where were you?” I asked again.

“I had to deal with some stuff about my Sister. I couldn’t stand to look at Gotham anymore. The only thing that drew me back was you.”

“Well, I still have a few hours before I have to go pick up B and little V. Would you, Jervis Tetch like to accompany me to the airport? I have Through the Looking Glass on audio book in my car.”

He grinned like the Cheshire Cat.

“I couldn’t think of a more perfect way to spend my evening, Mi Princesa.”

He held out his hand to help me up from my chair. Always the gentlemen.

“Do me a favour and lay low for a while yeah? Jim’s not going to stop looking for you. Not after you made him confront his emotions. That man is emotionally constipated, I swear.” I joked.

“Y eres un tonto por amarlo.” He cracked.

I rolled my eyes.

“Alice didn’t need a man, maybe I can learn to live without on too. I like my friends better anyway.”

I winked at him, before running out the door.

“Whoever makes it to the car last has to steal Victors favourite knife!” I called back to him, laughing and giggling all the way to the car as he chased me.

An: I went with Madness Returns Alice for this one, because it makes more sense for Maggie’s character. I headcannon that Jervis can speak Spanish. The vibe just seems right. Is Maggie totally just rage flirting with Jim at this point, yes, yes she is. Being nice didn’t get her anywhere 😂 also my apologises if I accidentally called him Mario Pepper instead of Falcone, my brain was being dumb. I tried to fix all the ones I could find.

[hi-my-name-is-cosmopathy]

“He could’ve sworn that the Bicker-Owl sounded too much like a nature-loving engine he knew too well.”

Hi everyone! Have a Henry from this fic called Gordon In Wonderland . I think it's really nice :)

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

A Cat in the Kitchen

Part 1 (ft. Riddle and Silver) I Part 2 (ft. Trey and Kalim) I Part 3 (ft. Jade and Lilia) I Part 4 (ft. Deuce and Jamil) I Part 5 (ft. Malleus and Ruggie) | Part 6 (ft. Cater and Rook) | Part 7 (ft. Sebek and Floyd) | Part 8 (ft. Ace and Idia) | Part 9 (ft. Leona and Epel) | Part 10 (ft. Jack and Vil)

In which Gordon Ramsay-kun is isekai’d into Twisted Wonderland. Part Food Wars, part Hell’s Kitchen, all Master Chef—Night Raven College isn’t ready to take on this Michelin Star celebrity!!

Ready for a short supplementary cooking class?🌟 A day in the life of Prefect Gordon and his familiar Grim, told in three parts: breakfast, lunch, and dinner. After all, food is tastier when it's shared with friends and family~

Imagine this…

Gordon Ramsay stirred before the rats and the ghosts of Ramshackle dorm did. He was up by 5 am most days, first exercising and then rustling around in the kitchen fighting the gas stove to light (and stay that way!) and taking inventory of the dwindling ingredients in the pantry. At 7 am, the delicious smells would start up, rousing his housemates from their slumber.

This was the magic of a human incapable of spellcasting or sorcery.

"Mm... You're up super early again," Grim muttered from the doorway as he rubbed at his eyes. He yawned, still struggling to shake off the last remnants of sleep that clung to him. "I dunno how you do it."

"Not so hard once you've got the hang of it," he grunted in response. Gordon wiped his hands off on a dish towel before sliding a plate toward Grim. "Eat up now, we don't have much time before classes start."

"I dunno, I'm not too hungry."

"You? Not hungry?" Gordon's brows raised. "That's new. You feeling under the weather?"

Grim leapt, looking as though he had been caught with his entire body stuffed into a cookie jar. "N-No, I'm not! Yup, there's my hunger comin' back to me!"

He hurriedly yoinked a tuna sandwich and chowed down.

"See?! Ah'm jus' fine," Grim insisted, cheeks stuffed.

"Hmm, alright." Gordon tucked into a small bowl of oatmeal--prepared with baked bananas, almond milk, and dried cranberries.

"You got class today too or what?"

"Yup. Ashengrotto and the smaller Shroud this time."

“Think they’ll drive ya mad like the rest of them did?”

“I’ll hold my tongue until I’ve seen how they are in the kitchen for myself.”

“Keh, you’re no fun.”

The beast’s ears flattened. The blue fire that burned so brightly seemed to dim. Something weighed on his mind—of that, Gordon was certain.

“That means you'll abandon me before lunchtime again..." Between chews, Grim complained, "How come I gotta be just a student and you get to be a teacher too? The great Grim-sama oughta be showin' these newbies a thing or two!"

"I only teach what I know. I'm still a student in some ways, learning new things about food every day." Gordon shrugged, giving his friend a rough ruffle on the head. "You can be a teacher when you've mastered everything there is to master--neither of us is quite there yet."

"Why can't it be? I wanna fast forward to the part where I become an archmage already!!"

"Don't be impatient about making progress. I’ve made hundreds of dumplings in a day and still came nowhere near the level of perfection of a dim sum master.“

“Tsk, that sucks. Didja at least get to eat the bad dumplings?”

“It was all I had that day. They weren’t fit to serve to customers.” Gordon shook his head. “My point is, you’ll get there one day. Nose to the grindstone, Grim. You've got to work hard to earn it."

He spooned up the remainder of his oatmeal, then deposited his dirty bowl and spoon in the sink. Gordon plucked up Grim, who still had a mouth full of tuna, and tucked him under one arm.

“M-Myah?!“

“Right then, let’s head out. Brisk morning jog to wake up the senses—it’s a brand new day!”

“Lemme finish my breakfast first, sheesh!!”

Three classes before lunch, and they all went about as well as Gordon had expected them to. (That was to say, not well at all.)

During first period Alchemy, Grim had earned the ire of Crewel by disregarding the potion recipe. In spite of Gordon's reminders and warnings, Grim had taken one too many missteps. The wrong ingredient, the incorrect amount, the temperature too low or too high, the stirring too much or not enough.

He was then caught catnapping during Magic History and extensively told off by both Trein and Lucius. (The meowing had gotten very intense.) Gordon had apologized profusely in Grim's place.

Flying had not fared any better--Grim struggled to concentrate, his unsteady magic causing his broom to wildly buck, attempting to chuck him off. Gordon had to stop his rep of 100 push-ups to fetch his friend out from a shrub. Twigs poked at him, leaves caught in his fur.

By the time they were dismissed back to the locker rooms, Grim had melted into a furry puddle on Gordon's shoulder. "Maaan, I'm beat!! That was rough!"

"Rougher than usual." Gordon crunched on an apple. He had taken to the habit of eating small platters or snacks throughout the day over whole meals—it was more efficient for his lifestyle. “Something you want to tell me, or…?”

“N-Nothing’s up!” Grim snapped. "Quit worryin' about me. It's the boss's job to do that for their minion."

The chef rolled his eyes as he set Grim down on the floor beside him. He handed off a boxed lunch wrapped in a checkered cloth. "I'm off to teach. You'll be fine on your own, right? Find Trappola and Spade, settle down with your food, and don't cause trouble."

"I got it already!" Grim huffed. "Catch ya after...?"

"Always." His smile was strained, a bit tired but true. "Maybe I'll bring back some disastrous stories to share with you over dinner."

One last pat on the head, and then he was gone. Hustling down the hall, the white of his pristine chef’s jacket vanishing behind a corner.

Grim managed the rest of the hike to the cafeteria, balancing his lunch in his paws. He squeezed past the legs of various mob students, emerging safely on the other side. They rushed to line up for trays of food.

Suckers, Grim thought, paying in cash for food. Luckily for me, I’ve got something way better than whatever they’re serving.

“Oiiii, Grim! Over here!!” someone called to him. He looked—and there they were, the duo of troublemakers, marked by a heart and a spade upon their faces.

“Ace! Deuce!”

He scampered over to the two Heartslabyul freshmen. They had already secured their lunches, as well as an open seat for him.

“Hard night? Looks like you didn't get much sleep," Deuce commented. A fluffy omelet wobbled atop a mountain of ketchup fried rice on his plate.

“He's right, you really do look awful," Ace added cheerily--blunt as ever. He had opted for a slice of some savory pie, vegetables and meat oozing out from a buttery crust.

"Sh-Shuddap! The great Grim-sama was up all night cookin' up something big!" He slammed a paw down on the table. "Just look at your sorry lunches. They can't compare to what I have!"

"Did Prefect make your meal again? You should try to not trouble him too much.”

"’S not like I tell’m to! He does it on his own!” Grim snickered to himself. "He takes all these cheap ingredients and throws'm together to make these tasty dishes."

"Well, don't keep us waiting in suspense," Ace groaned. "Show us what you have already."

“Let’s see, let’s see!”

Grim undid the fabric knot that held his lunch in a swathe. The checkered pattern peeled back and the lid, once removed, yielded a creamy, cheesy bed of tuna bake.

Gordon had taken his beloved canned tuna and fried it down into flakes. It was then combined with a special mixture of seasonings, pasta shells, melted cheeses, onions and broccoli, and topped with bread crumbs. After a generous bake in their ancient oven, the dish had come out golden brown and bubbling.

“Whoooa, smells delish!!” all three of them drooled.

“Lucky bastard,” Ace muttered. He quickly put on a cheeky grin, his spoon prepared. “Ne, ne~ Lemme try some, Grim!“

“D-Don’t be cheeky, Ace! You can’t demand to mooch off of someone else’s lunch,” Deuce scolded his peer. “… Even if it does look really good.”

“Paws off!!” Grim shielded the box with his body. “My minion made this for me and me only!”

“Tch.” Ace’s expression dropped. “You get to eat like a king for free while the rest of us have to shell out and make do with whatever’s on the school’s menu.”

“It’s not that bad,” Deuce pointed out. “It’d be nice to be able to eat for free but I’m happy with the quality of food we get for the price.”

“This comin’ from the guy who was running low on pocket money for a snack the other day?” he smirked.

“H-Hey, I need to budget, okay?!”

While the duo bickered, Grim had started to shove his face into the box (silverware was too difficult to maneuver) and wolf down his meal. Cheese sauce painted his fur, bits of broccoli and tuna dotting his jaw.

It was heaven—or as close to heaven as he could get on the earth.

He licked his lips appreciatively, mopping up what was left on his face. Not even a little could go to waste. Grim was determined.

As he went back in for another mouthful, he felt a phantom hand cascade across his head, his back. Advice from that morning filled his mind.

“You’ll get there one day. Nose to the grindstone, Grim. You've got to work hard to earn it."

He shut his eyes, making a silent vow.

I’ll definitely… definitely pay ya back for all the hard work you’ve been puttin’ in too, partner.

Gordon bid farewell to the ghost chefs on his way out of the kitchen. The day’s leftovers and unused ingredients overflowed from his arms—a perk of the teaching gig, which helped to feed him and his feline roommate. He mentally parsed through what was available, dreaming up new dishes for the days to come.

There was a nice chunk of fresh tuna (Grim would love it) in his brown paper bag. Perhaps he’d sear it with a sesame crust, then drizzle the seafood in a yuzu-lime dressing to brighten it. He’s plate it with a microgreens salad. Chives, arugula, celery, radish, and ruby sorrel to encourage Grim to eat a variety of vegetables.

He made his way out of the school building and down the long, winding path to Ramshackle dorm. The sun was still out, warming the worn Prefect.

On the front porch, he rustled around in his pants for the keys. When he finally fished it out and inserted the teeth into the lock, Gordon swore he heard a series of suppressed giggles from beyond the door.

Odd.

The door swung open, and he was immediately accosted.

"Welcome baaack," the Ramshackle Ghosts chirped. One ushered him in from behind, another too his groceries off of his hands, and a third tugged him along by the arm.

"Come this way! Grimmy's got a treat for ya!"

"He's been working hard on it the second he got back from his last class."

"Oooh, you're gonna LOVE it!"

"What about dinner?" Gordon protested, watching his beloved ingredients sail off.

He was thrusted into their dingy kitchen--which doubled as the dining room, thanks to the table and chairs set up in one cobwebbed corner. The same old Ramshackle he woke up to every day. Rusty knobs and hinges, chipped cupboards, electricity and running water that blinked in and out.

But there, set on a table with uneven legs and splintered wood, was something extraordinary.

It was a stout cake, iced in light blue with a layer of dripping white and several lit candles stuck into the top. Black frosting formed the vague shape of a fish, TUNA piped over it in white. A single lollipop--pale blue, and in the shape of a paw--casually rested against the cake, as if it had been tossed on top for an extra flair.

A furry mass tackled and hugged Gordon's leg.

"Grim?!"

He was suited up in his own little chef's uniform. It was deep gray, verging on black, his apron tied with a striped-purple ribbon. A tiny toque--a chef's hat-- sat between his ears, a bandage over the bridge of his nose. A smear of white icing decorated his left cheek, and he carried with him a telltale piping bag squeezed thin.

Gordon blinked. "You did this?"

"Nyahahah! Were you surprised?"

"You told me you couldn't cook to save your life."

"He can't," a ghost piped up as he deposited the groceries onto a counter. "He's worse than I was when I was alive!"

"That's why Grimmy's been getting up in the dead of night lately. Been, what? Gotta be a few weeks now."

"He's been practicing his baking and then cleaning up the traces of his crime before you get up."

"What..."

"I wanted to pay ya back, yanno! For all the cookin' and cleanin' and whatever," Grim mumbled shyly, kicking at the ground. "So I figured I'd treat ya for once! I was thinking of a sticky toffee pudding at first since that's your favorite, but... it gets so sticky, it was hard to work with!"

He patted his stomach. "I couldn't put my stuff in the trash can or else you'd notice, so I had to eat up all my mistakes too! It was a lotta effort and way harder than it looked, so you'd better be grateful!!”

Grim looked away, rubbing at his bandage.

“… It helped me better understand and appreciate all the things you do on the daily.”

It clicked.

Everything suddenly made sense. Grim's tiredness, lack of focus, decreased appetite, defensiveness—it was all for this very moment.

"... I see." Gordon bent down, a smile taking shape on his mouth. A steady kindling in his chest. “This is your way of saying ‘thank you’.”

“M-Maybe! An archmage has gotta take good care of his minion,” Grim muttered.

The prefect laughed softly. “And you’re doing a great job at it. Hang tight, I'll get the stove going and whip us up some seared tuna to go with the cake."

“Myah?! Y-You’ve got tuna? Like, the real stuff?!” Grim’s eyes were wide and sparkling. A line of drool ran down his chin. "Fancy tuna...!!"

"Yeah. We can plate some for the ghosts too--so they can join us for a meal in spirit." Gordon nodded at their other roommates. Their pale faces brightened with excitement.

"Can we really?"

"It's been so long since I was last invited to a celebration like this!!"

"Oh, but we can't eat... Ghosts don't have digestive systems. The tune would pass right through us."

"... Grim, you have eat their shares. More importantly, it's being together for the occasion that matters, right?"

"Whoo-hoo!! You're the best minion an archmage could ask for!!" Grim cheered, leaping into the air, furry fist pumping.

“Let's get this dinner party started…!”

[happilyasimp]

Ruggie: Don't ever get lessons on singing from Eclipse.

Ace: Why?

Eclipse: *snacking Flyod across the head cussing him out for messing up* (Gordon Ramsay ass mf)

Flyod: *runs for his life*

Kalim: I don't get it, he gets mad at everyone else for messing up but me.

Jade: That's because he fell for you.

Ace: Aren't you supposed to be helping Flyod?

Jade: And suffer the pale one's wrath? *Shudders* No thanks.

[arcadicapalsblog]

TAF: Nights of Terror Day 3

Y/N: "It's dark in here."(Y/N turns on his/her flashlight and suddenly, its light starts flickering)

Y/N: "Well... (starts moving his/her flashlight everywhere) At least I'm all alone."

Henry: "Or not."

Y/N: "Huh?"

Gordon: "You're finally next!"

(Y/N shines his/her flashlight in front of him/her and sees Henry and Gordon)

Y/N: "Uh oh."

(Henry and Gordon lunge at Y/N, knocking his/her flashlight down and start eating him/her alive)

Y/N: "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Day 3 of TAF: Nights of Terror, a Goretober/Inktober 2023 challenge featuring Thomas and Friends characters (from my anthropomorphic animal AU) as killer animatronics in scary situations and experiences featuring Y/N, a.k.a. you who are seeing this. Inspired by Five Nights at Freddy's, The Banana Splits Movie, and Willy's Wonderland.

In this picture, Y/N accidentally shines his/her flashlight on Henry the Horse and Gordon the Polar Bear, who are missing pieces of themselves.

Thomas & Friends (C) The Rev. W. Awdry, Britt Allcroft, and Mattel

Idea and artwork (C) Me

[bobowhipsblog]

瞑想感覚 (Meditative Feeling) 三村寛子

[kingconia]

Can we please please please PLEASE get a Vice Warden version of the "Reader is the characters favorite celebrity"

(obvi, Ortho is a child so if you add him make it platonic. But if you take him out maybe you can add Floyd instead! Plus RUGGIE CUZ HES THE UNOFFICIAL VICE )

Take your time and have fun with the request! If you end up not doing it, now worries lol!

A/N: I actually planned to do that for a while. Thank you for reminding me.

HOW TWISTED WONDERLANDS' VICE-HOUSEWARDENS ACT WHEN YOU ARE THEIR FAVOURITE CELEBRITY

Trey Clover. ❤️

— You are his favourite chef, of course. Who would've guess, right?

— You are a quite popular one, a former student of the Royal Academy, and very controversial figure in the media world, because... Well, you are quite talented, yes, but your attitude is just... Awful;

— Trey doesn't see anything that bad in your character, though! You might appear rude to adults, but he just loves how gentle you are with kids! Gordon Ramsay kinnie, you see;

— He is so. So. Happy, when Riddle accidentally asks you to be a chef for his birthday. A very lucky accident.

•

”Did I make that right?” Ace asks nervously, glancing at the bowl in his hand.

An event that Riddle Rosehearts plans is huge. Thousands of quests from all houses, completely different kitchens for each of them... So, of course, when students of Heartslabyul suggested to help you, you were happy.

Until you realised that they are chronical idiots.

You feel your blood boil, hands curling in fists.

Just how in the world this boy managed to mash raw carrot in fucking puree, when you asked him to cut it merely?! How?!

”You stupid donkey!” A yell that escapes your lips makes another two students, Deuce and Cater, shiver in fear. ”Get off!”

Ace instantly puts bowl on the table, taking a step back.

”M-me?”

”All of you!” You hiss, glaring at three of them. ”Out of this kitchen, idiots. And never, ever, come back here again!”

They shrink, running away instantly. You sigh in relief, but then, catch another figure, a taller one, moving after them.

Trey Clover.

”Hey,” you call for him, calmer this time. ”Where do you think you are going?”

Trey glances at you, completely surprised.

”Y/n-sama told everyone to leave,” he bows his head respectfully.

”Only to idiots,” you huff. ”You can stay, Trey.”

You actually noticed that out all of them, he worked more effectively. He knows how to cook, clearly, and he does so quickly and wordlessly. So, if anyone's help would be truly useful, it is his.

”...That would be a big honour for me, Y/n-sama.”

You smirk.

”Yeah, yeah. Come on. Let's finish here.”

Ruggie Bucchi. 💛

— You are his favourite true-crime blogger, lol. He watches your videos as he eats, and it annoys everyone, which also sometimes leaves him more food;

— You are actually not worldwide popular. You are just a student from NRC, from the Ignihyde, and sometimes, he catches your figure lurking around;

— Ruggie supports you from his side account, leaving a lot of comments, and likes, making other Savanaclaw watch videos, too. There is nothing more soothing that listening a gentle voice explaining how someone's body was dismembered, after all!

— Once, you decide to start a special event week: a true crimes connected to each house of the NRC. And Ruggie is especially exited for Savanaclaw video, only to find out that...

•

”Ah, you are Ruggie, correct?”

Ruggie flinches.

He recognises this voice from everywhere.

When he turns to the sound of the voice, he founds you, his favourite person in the world, standing in front of him. You look shy, as if it is not you, who constantly speaks of murders so eagerly.

”Y-yeah, hello, Y/n.”

...Shit, he shouldn't know your name.

”Hi!” You wave your hand. ”I am so sorry to bother you, but, I am busy with a project right now... It is connected with crimes in different locations that representing houses here. And, I spoke with Leona-sama this morning...”

Wow, you really caught Leona Kingscholar in the early morning? Awake? It is another proof for Ruggie's PowerPoint presentation about how cool and perfect you are!

”...But he told me that if anyone is better informed about crimes in Savanna, it is you, since, well, your class differences... I am so sorry, did it sound rude?”

Ruggie had never been happier to be poor.

”You came to the right person,” he exclaims with the coolest expression he has in his arsenal. ”Don't worry, Y/n. I will be your guide in the most darkest parts of the Afterglow Savanaclaw.”

You beam. He tries look collected, but fails.

”Ah, Ruggie, you are the best!”

It is going to be the best week in his life!

Leona-sama:

Brat

Firstly, she is fucking scary

Secondly you owe me for this one

Jade Leech. 🩵

— You are his favourite photographer. At first, you only share your works at art exhibitions, but recently you created a page in the Magicam, to have more connection with your followers;

— Jade is amazed by the way you see this world. How gracefully you present the nature, how gently you portrait people, and how skillfully you froze time! Ah, you are amazing!

— Jade always tries to see more of the world that was closed to him before, and your works are a great help for him;

— ...He is absolutely stunned, when Azul tells him that payed you to come to the opening of the renewed Monster Lounge as the photographer, though.

•

Jade is... Slightly frustrated.

To think, that Azul had an opportunity to employ a walking talent for a few hours, and he used this chance to take photos of the Lounge... Impossible!

He sighs.

He respects Azul, of course, but sometimes he is such a baby.

”Good evening,” Jade greets you with a polite smile on his face, hoping to conceal his genuine amazement. ”How is here to your liking?”

You are straightening your back, stopping taking pictures of the main hall. As you turn to Jade, your eyes lit up curiously.

”You must be... Jade, correct?”

You know his name.

”Indeed, I am,” he nods.

”Thank you, it is fine,” you shift from one foot to another, and he can say there is something you want to do. ”Ah, excuse me, but... Can I ask you something?”

Jade nods again, tilting his head on the left. What with your great mind came up this time?

”...Am I allowed to take a few photos of you?”

Now, it is his turn to be surprised.

If anything, Jade has never been an interesting subject for others' eyes. But here you are, his favourite person in the world, wishing to take his photos—

”Are you sure?” As you nod vigorously, he can't help but laugh shortly. ”Then, of course. Do as you please.”

But if you see it in him, something charming and breathtaking, then there are must be he something. Because you are never wrong.

...And when on the next morning, Azul asks him to explain why the fuck there is Jade's photos instead of Monster Lounge's, as they had an agreement with you, he shrugs.

’You asked me to show others the beauty of your Lounge,’ you write Azul later, absolutely unremorseful. ’And I did.’

Oh, you can't even understand how happy you made a certain someone!

Floyd Leech. 🩵

— Do you know those accounts of tarot and astrology readers, who constantly goes live to speak with audience and made them an online reading? Yes, Floyd adores you for this;

— I feel that he sincerely curious about all this stuff, and though, at first, it was only an aesthetic interest as he found you pretty, now, he is too deep in this to pull out;

— He listens to your everyday advice videos religiously, and I am not even kidding. He trusts you too much, and at some point Jade starts worrying about him;

— Floyd is absolutely reckless and shameless, so, of course, he decides to make a first move unexpectedly and openly.

•

”Since it is a Lover's day, I might as well today be more focused on romantic readings,” you warn, shuffling cards in your hands, eyes fixated on the chat. ”So, write first name of yours, and, your lover's, and both of your ages. Will see how it goes.”

Tarot cards have been a huge part of your life since you were a kid, watching your mom and aunt doing that, whispering quietly. It was only natural that eventually you became an esoteric, too.

It is not your work or main to-do thing, more like a hobby, and an instrument to help others. And most of the time, you are doing it for free. Unless, someone wants to pay you, of course.

”Hm, who is here...”

You see a familiar username.

Floyd Leech is a quite constant fan of yours, always liking your videos, commenting them ridiculously, and asking questions about this and that. So, you decide to start with him. Just ouf of respect.

”Floyd, seventeen and... Y/n, whatever your age is,” you read out aloud.

As you understand what that meant, your cheeks flush instantly. You almost drop your tarot on the floor.

Is he trying to hit on you?! Just like that?!

”I... Uhm...”

What should you do? You spoke with him a few times, yes, and it has been more or less fine? Yet... Urgh.

You take a random card from the bottom of it.

Lovers.

Shit.

”You have some good chances here, Floyd” you finally manage to say that aloud, looking away from camera. ”Just be more forward. And private.”

There is no answer—or it gets lost in many new comments—and you distract yourself with other followers. Until a notification appears on the top of your phone.

Floyd_Leech:

hi :)

You almost groan.

What an impossible man?!

Jamil Viper. 🧡

— Might be not entirely accurate, but you are his favourite book critic! I feel, like whenever Jamil has some time to himself, he reads, and if he doesn't, he listens to all these podcasts or three hours long videos about why a certain book good or bad;

— He finds you accidentally, and since then obsessively checks out your every video, even the oldest ones. Puts notifications on. Follows on other social media. Loves your content;

— He is definitely a more quiet supporter. He likes your videos, but never comments them. So, there is no direct contact between two of you;

— At least, until he bumps into you by accident. In Scalding Sands. On the summer holidays. How insane is that?

•

Jamil knows that you travel a lot, he has seen your highlights in Magicam, but how could he expect to meet you in the bazar of all places?! This place is noisy, awful and there is nothing beautiful or picturesque! What would you do here? And with a book in your hands, too.

”The sands of Love,” title says.

It sounds ridiculous already.

”Shit,” you hiss, rubbing his shoulder with your free hand. ”I am sorry.”

”Please, be careful,” he murmurs quietly, trying to act normal as if he doesn't update your channel every morning and night in the search of new content.

Anyway, Jamil is slightly freaking out. Just a little.

”I am trying, but this book is so awful, I want to die,” he chuckles fondly, a familiarity of your words that you say so often from the screen on his phone, softening him. ”You know, I bought this goddamn book, and the setting of it is here, like, in Scalding Sands. So, I came here to check some details. Like traditions, and, and stuff. And you know, it is all a fucking bullshit—”

So, you made your way to here just to... Criticise an obviously bad book with even more reasoning?

God, he loves you.

”...And, and...” You stutted. Blushing suddenly, you sigh. ”I am so sorry. I shouldn't be dumping that on you.”

Jamil tries his best to offer you a rare smile of his.

”Oh, but I am interested now. Would you mind continue telling me about this book?” He can't help but notice how cutely your eyes lit up. ”But not here, obviously. Please, let's go. I will find a quieter place for you.”

...Seems, like all his luck was saved just for this moment to happen, because you actually follow him, continuing your blabbering.

What a beautiful day it is.

Rook Hunt. 💜

— You are his favourite opera singer! When Rook sees you for the first time, he is in awe. Your beauty, your voice — it is everything. He knows, just from the first sight, that he will be a Phantom of Opera for your Christine;

— He buys the best, and I must stay, the most expensive places for your opera, but keeps himself hidden away for a while. Doesn't need to be seen, he is in his studying sessions;

— Rook is not pleased if you are not a leading singer. He will make everything for this fact to change in future. Would giggle if overhears you saying how lucky you are... If you want him to be your luck, then so be it;

— When Rook is sure that his work more or less done, and he is ready, he will finally meet with you personally.

•

”It is a shame I never noticed you before,” you shake your head, cheeks darkened from the amount of complements you had heard in past ten minutes. ”And you've been here for me from my debut? I am so flattered...”

A boy in front of you smiles eagerly, pressing another warm kiss on the back of your hand.

”Ah, mon inspiration, it is me who is blessed and grateful for being able to witness something so beautiful and generous... The rise of the angel of Opera, indeed!”

His eyes are shining with a pure awe. You almost squirm, when Rook falls on his knees, cheek pressing to your well-kissed hand. You are fighting a wish to caress his cheek just as you do with your cat at home.

”If Gods ever existed, at least one of them, it must be you, their last creation, a gift for dying civilisation!”

”Ah, Rook,” you giggle, getting more and more shy with each second. ”Please... Maybe, you want to... See with me later? Beyond these walls? I mean... Don't get me wrong, of course, it is just...”

It might be a risky movement, you know. Yet, you can't help but feel attracted to the person, who stares at you as if you are the Creator yourself.

”I would be more than glad, mon ange,” his voice becomes quieter, yet, a little more nervous. ”I love that one café in front of this opera, if you care to know. I often order there their special drink... The fall of the Devil, isn't it?”

You blink in surprise.

”That is my favourite, too!” You exclaim enthusiastically.

”Really?” Somehow, he doesn't really look surprised. ”Well, then, after getting drinks, we, perhaps, could see the Art Gallery... Had you ever seen a whole room dedicated to the minerals from different countries? It is my favourite one.”

Your chest warms.

”Mine too!”

You hope it doesn't look like you try to impress him by mirroring his answers, but it is really this way.

Seems, like Rook just knows everything you love!

”I feel like we are a perfect match, mon destin.”

And, somehow, you can't disagree.

Lilia Vanrouge. 💚

— This man is hard to impress... But, you are his favourite... Psychologist. Alright, I know it sounds ridiculous, but I think, considering the fact that he was the general for a long time, never caring about human emotions before, and then suddenly adopted three idiots, and that with having his own trauma, he takes a great interest in the psychology;

— So, when he accidentally finds your account, where you speak of different problems, navigate people through theirs, and merely discussing different situations in the world from the point of psychology, he dives in;

— I don't think that Lilia goes on appointment, though. I think, he masters psychology through your channel, instead. He is such a self-taught and crazy-ass talented person;

— When you are invited to work as a school psychologist in the NRC, since Crowley realised that overbolts might or might not be because of lacking a one, Lilia is actually really excited. And he doesn't hide it!

•

”Seeing how mature you are, how healthy you analyse all these situations with overbolted students,” you make a small sip of tea, smirking shortly, ”I can't help but feel slightly proud of myself.”

Lilia laughs quietly, extending you more chocolate muffins that he obtained from the cafeteria just for you.

Since from the first day, two of you became a great friends. And, though, of course, it is you who should take care of him—since he is a student as well—Lilia yet can't help but worry about how much you work, skipping meals constantly, because, apparently, everyone wants your help.

”You are great at what you are doing, Y/n-sama,” he smiles mischievously.

Though both of you are quite old, centuries of life long ago left behind, there is a certain childishness inside of you, that you prefer to call a healthy life enjoyment. A term that Lilia now uses every time when someone tries to lecture him about being too immature.

”Thank you, thank you, Lilia-kun,” you bow your head jokingly. ”But, seriously, I need a proper schedule with all of these kids. But they just can't stop coming... I don't know what is so traumatising about this school, honestly. It is about lessons?”

Lilia laughs.

”Maybe. I mean, my genuine wish to start a massacre returns sometimes, when headmaster comes on our lessons...”

You smack him slightly, chuckling softly.

”I see, now. Honestly, after meetings with him, I too, search for the professional help...”

As both of you laugh, Lilia watches you relaxing eventually.

Ah, who would've thought that a person who helped him unconsciously once, would eventually became his friend?.. What a crazy world he lives in!