#incorrect quotes generator

[rainnyydaysworld]

Steph: I am so cool. I am an absolute Chad. I am the epitome of coolness and awesomeness—

Cass: Hi.

Steph: *melts down in a flustered heap of softness*

—

Dick : Just be yourself. Say something nice.

Jason: Which one? I can't do both.

—

Dick: Look guys, I need help.

Tim : Love help?

Dami: Financial help?

Steph: Emotional help?

Jason: Help moving a body?

*Everybody looks at Jason*

Jason: What?

—

Bruce: You need a hobby.

Jason: I have a hobby!

Bruce: Hitting Tim isn't a hobby.

—

Cass: Which is correct, seven and five IS thirteen, or seven and five ARE thirteen?

Dami: Neither.

Dami: Because it's twelve.

—

Dami: I’m gonna kill you.

Tim : Get in line!

[slytheringangstuff]

𝒯𝒶𝓂𝑒 𝒢𝒾𝓂𝑒

y/n: What if we reversed our initials?

Draco: Mraco Dalfoy.

Theo: Nheodore Tott.

Matteo: Ratteo Middle.

Lorenzo: Borenzoe Lerkshire.

Blaise: Zlaise Babini.

Pansy: Pansy Park- I don't like this game.

[theprinceofdarknesssquad]

Nico: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast? Percy: Several traffic violations. Jason: Three counts of resisting arrest. Leo: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks. Frank: Also, that’s not our car.

[m3ntally-unstable]

When you read a really good fic but then after ur done reading it, realising that it was a part of a series so now your dying because now you’ve ruined it.

[the-dormant-ocean]

Astarion : Don't worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

Gale: I think you mean cards.

Astarion, pulling knives out of his sleeves: No.

[finequeenbean]

Tony: How did none of you hear what I just said?!

Steve: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Clint: I got distracted halfway through.

Natasha: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

[cometblaster2070]

Briar, pretending to joke: So when are you going to go out with me? Faybelle: I don't know. When are you going to ask me to? Briar: (Later) Ashlynn: And then you just ran away??? Briar: I DIDN'T EXPECT HER TO FLIRT BACK!

[spnfic85]

Y/N: Hey, babe, remember how I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up my ADHD meds?

Sam: Yes?

Y/N: Well, it turns out they're all out for the next five days.

Sam: Fuck.

Y/N: It's gonna be a fun week!

Sam: I'm going to Dean's house.

Y/N: Nuh-uh. Through sickness and health, motherfucker.

[incorrectleaguequotes]

Lux: Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Jinx!

Jinx: You can’t expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.

[im-here-and-im-confused]

Obi-wan - we've been conducting an ongoing study to see what Anakin will and will not eat.

Cody - Grass? yes!

Obi-wan - Moss? yes!

Cody - Leaves? Oh yes!

Obi-wan - Shoelaces? strangely enough yes!

Cody - Worms? sometimes!

Obi-wan - Rocks? usually no!

Cody - Twigs? usually yeah!

Obi-wan - Ahsoka's cooking? Inconclusive!

Rex - Right, and how...how did you test this?

Obi-wan - oh well we just handed him things, and said 'hey eat this'.

Cody - and if he ate it, he ate it.

Rex - Right okay, i don't know how im supposed to feel about this.

Ahsoka - WAIT SO IS THAT WHERE ALL OF MY SHOE LACES WENT!?

[the-shadow-master]

Percy: Annabeth and I are having a baby.

Nico: That's gre-

Percy, slamming adoption papers on the table: It's you, sign here.

[rainnyydaysworld]

Dick: No problemo!

Dick, internally: But it was all problemo.

—

Cass: Start talking!

Jason : Well, I-

Cass: Shut up!

—

Tim: So, what's for dinner?

Bruce, staring at the food they burnt: Regret.

—

Jason: What’s up? I’m back.

Bruce: I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead

Jason: Death is a social construct.

—

Damian : If you ever feel stupid or weak or powerless, just remember that I am not. I am out there, very dangerous, and I am looking for you. Good luck.

—

Doctor: How high are you?

Cass: Mm, I don’t know how to say it in feet.

Bruce : No, they’re asking what drugs are you on.

Cass: Oh, antidepressants, why?

[slytheringangstuff]

𝒟𝑜 𝒩𝑜𝓉 𝒫𝒶𝓈𝓈 𝒢𝑜

Matteo on the phone: Hey y/n, can I borrow 5000 bucks?

y/n: Why the heck do you need £5000?

Matteo: For an escape room.

y/n: What kind of escape room costs £5000?

Matteo:

Matteo: Jail.

y/n hanging up: Theo?

Theo not even looking up: *gives his card* Here.

[theprinceofdarknesssquad]

Nico: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it

Jason: Just rip the bandage off.

Nico: It’s Percy.

Jason: Put the bandage back on.

[m3ntally-unstable]

Why is it that everytime I search for a certain thing I GET THE OPPOSITE. I SEARCHED FOR ANGST NOT SMUT, I WANT ANGST. I AKSED FOR SMUT NOT FUCKING FLUFF AND SHIT 😡😡😡😡 please update your system tumblr I beg of you

[r-u-living]

Someone kick the Incorrect Quotes Generator out of my hands

♥︎♥︎♥︎

Wylan: Time sensitive question how flirt boy.

Jesper: Throw rocks at he.

Nina: Hot Dogs.

Inej: Kill him.

Wylan: Thanks guys.

♥︎♥︎♥︎

Inej: I hate you with every inch of my body!

Kaz: That’s not a lot of inches.

♥︎♥︎♥︎

Nina: FIGHT ME, YOU NERD ASS SLUT!

Matthias: At least try to sound slightly more sophisticated when you threaten someone.

Nina: Oh, I'm sorry. I should ask; dost thou want to engage in a duel, my good bitch?

Matthias: Somehow that's worse.

♥︎♥︎♥︎

Wylan: *Reading a letter*

Nina: Well, what does it say?

Wylan: It’s a confession letter. It turns out Inej killed my pet rock.

♥︎♥︎♥︎

Matthias : School appropriate questions.

Kaz: What was the lowest point in your life?

♥︎♥︎♥︎

Jesper: So the other day I sent Wylan out to get us some gas.

Jesper: And instead of getting gas, they got us novelty cookie cutters.

Jesper: Now everything we eat is shaped like a dinosaur.

Jesper: …

Jesper: I love him so much.

♥︎♥︎♥︎

Wylan: I don’t mean to be rude—

Nina: Yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often.

♥︎♥︎♥︎

Kaz: If you put 'violently' in front of anything to describe your action, it becomes funnier.

Kaz: Violently practices.

Inej: Violently studies.

Nina: Violently sleeps.

Jesper: Violently shoots pictures.

Wylan: Violently boxes.

Nina: Violently murders people.

Matthias : Violently worries about the previous statement.

♥︎♥︎♥︎

Kaz: *raises eyebrows*

Nina: Put those back down!

♥︎♥︎♥︎