#incorrect soap quote

[metallictastinglifesupportliquid]

Roach: Hey, wanna see something funny? Y/N: Um, ok? Roach: Say ow Y/N: Ow? *2 seconds later* Ghost, Price, Gaz, Soap, busting the door down: Y/N? WHAT HAPPENED? ARE YOU HURT? WHO DO WE NEED TO STAB?

[skyrigel]

Simon: Truth or dare ?

Y/n: Truth.

Simon: I dare you to kiss me now.

Y/n *getting up*: FINE !

Johnny: Is it just me who heard truth...no one else ?

[call-of-duty-incorrect-quotes]

Soap: You’re 37? You look younger!

Ghost: I let a demon possess me in exchange for eternal youth.

Soap: Haha, you’re so funny, Lt.

Soap leaves

Demon inside Ghost: You gotta stop saying that, mate. Someone is gonna believe you.

Ghost: I’m getting tea.

Demon inside Ghost: Oh, with biscuits?!

[tanked-up]

Canon.

Twitter//@soapsloverman

(permission to post granted)

[witchthewriter]

Gaz: I sleep with a knife under my pillow.

Soap: Weak. I sleep with a gun.

Y/N: You’re both pathetic

Soap: What do YOU sleep with?

Y/N: Simon.

[cod-dump]

*during a zoom meeting after a collective long leave*

Gaz: Ya know what? I needed a break from base

Soap: It has been nice visiting my family. Though my sister fucking still sucks

Gaz: Hey, I'd take family drama. I got to see my mum, relax. Hey, I even got myself a succubus

Ghost: *chokes on the sandwich he was eating*

Soap: A WHAT??

Gaz: Succubus- A succubus-

Price: *looking off camera in disbelief*

Gaz: No- You know what I mean!

Ghost: *laughing hysterically*

Soap: NO WE DON’T. DO YOU FUCKING MEAN A LITERAL FUCKING FUCK DEMON, OR A SUCCULENT. SUCCULENT!!

Gaz: *stares before he covers his face and screams*

Ghost: *wheezing off camera*

Price, still looking off camera: I think we had too much personal time

[hatsbuckets]

The first time Graves used “all y’all” in front of the Brits, they had to physically restrain themselves from shaking him like a ragdoll.

...

“Now, all y’all just calm down a minute--”

A beat of silence.

Price blinked. Soap tilted his head like a confused retriever. Gaz mouthed ‘all y’all?’ like it was a slur.

“Beg your fuckin’ pardon?” Soap asked.

...

Graves, undeterred:

“Y’all’d’ve done better if you’d waited for backup.”

Gaz made a noise like a computer shutting down.

“I’m sorry... y’all would’ve what?”

Graves: “Would’ve done better.”

Price, flat: “That’s not what you said.”

“I was fixin’ to explain!”

“Fixing what now?”

...

While reviewing blueprints:

“Might coulda added another entry point here.”

Soap stood up. “This is an act o' terrorism."

[avaleigh16]

Y/n: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Gaz: Several traffic violations.

Ghost: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Soap: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Price: Also, that’s not our car.

〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰

Y/n: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.

Ghost: ... Your what?

Y/n: My friends.

Soap: Are they saying “friends”?

Price: I think they're being sarcastic.

Gaz: No, no, no, this is delirium, they've cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Y/n! All of your friends are in this room.

Y/n: I have other friends! You asked me to make new friends, I made new friends! It was a task. I complete tasks.

〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰

Y/n: This food is too hot... I cant eat it.

Ghost: You’re very hot, and I still eat you.

Everyone at the table: *silence*

Gaz: YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING!

Price: One dinner... I just want ONE DINNER!

〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰

Y/n: If you want my advice-

Gaz: No offense but you’re the last person I want relationship advice from. You tried to kill Ghost. Multiple times.

Y/n: First off, that was before we started dating. Secondly, he also tried to kill me.

Ghost: It’s true. It was mutually attempted murder.

[bluebonnetbandit]

Soap: *dealing with temporary memory loss and brain fuzziness after waking up from a coma after getting shot in the head*

Soap: Are we boyfriends?

Ghost: Even worse…

Ghost: Holds up his left hand*

Soap: *lets out the most dramatic gasp*

Soap: AM I HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH A MARRIED MAN!?

Soap: AM I A HOME RECKER!?!?!

Ghost: Worse then that

Soap: YOURE A HOME RECKER!

Ghoat: it’s even worse then that

Ghost: *holds up Soaps left hand*

Soap: Oh my god…it is worse…

Ghost: I know, right?

[misquoted-chronicles]

Gaz: I sleep with a gun under my pillow.

Soap: I sleep with a knife.

Y/n: Both of you are pathetic.

Gaz: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with?

Y/n, smirking: Ghost.

*meanwhile*

Ghost: *sitting in a meeting with Price and Laswell*

Ghost: *sneezes*

Ghost: Someone’s talkin’ bout me.

[metallictastinglifesupportliquid]

Gaz: Never have I ever been handcuffed Ghost: *drinks* Soap: You've been arrested LT? Ghost: That wasn't the question Y/N: *chokes*

[skyrigel]

Simon: Listen Y/n. It's valentine and I am taking you out.

John *from his earpiece*: asking.

Simon*nodding*: I am asking you out.

Y/n:

Simon: You need to come with me.

Y/n:

Simon: No one else will ask you out because I am going to marry you.

Y/n:

John: which part of this is ‘asking’

*Simon throws the ear piece out*

Simon: You can say no. Turn me down. Break my heart. All of you have to do is say no just once.

Y/n *with their mouth taped*:

[call-of-duty-incorrect-quotes]

Texting.

Soap: The rookies are shipping us.

Gaz: You and Ghost? Yeah, duh.

Soap: No. All of us.

Gaz: What?

Price: Shipping us where?

[x-x-nyctophilia-writes-x-x]

Y/n: Which one of you was gonna tell me that tea tastes different if you put it in hot water?

Gaz: You... You were putting it in cold water?

Y/n:.......

Soap: Y/n. Answer the question, Y/n.

Y/n: Well... yeah. I thought for, like, 5 years that people just put it in hot water to speed up the “tea-ification” process. I didn't realize there was an actual reason. Besides, do you really think I have the patience to boil water?

Soap: Ye dinnae have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes?

Gaz: Wait, wait- why are you putting it in the microwave to boil it?

Soap: Do ye think ah've got the patience to boil water on the stove?

Gaz: It takes less than a minute!

Y/n: Bestie, is your stovetop powered by the fucking sun??

Gaz: Well, how long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove then?

Y/n: Like, 7 minutes!

Soap: *nods*

Gaz: *sighs* Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat, and it boils in 2 minutes. Less than that if you use a saucepan. 

Soap: ...Ye're puttin' the whole mug on the stove? On medium heat?

Y/n: *crying laughing* Your stove is fucking enchanted!

Price: Every single one of you is a fucking lunatic. 

Ghost: Do none of you own a fucking kettle?

Source

[tanked-up]

Soap: So pretty

Ghost: Are you flirting with me?

Soap: Yes

Ghost: Don’t ever do that again

*Soap leaves*

Price: Ghost-

Ghost: I need him so bad

[call-of-daydreams]

Price, entering Johnny's room: "Why are you naked??"

Soap: "I-I don't have any clean clothes"

Price: *opens his closet*

Price: "What are you saying? You have shirts, pants, socks, hi Simon, more shirts, jackets-"