#just isn't ever going to be better is it? not for me. not ever.

[all-purpose-dish-soap]

your shark mer 141 and mer remora fic is one of the only things keeping me sane during finals week so please please please dump all of your thoughts on us because your writing style is so good and i can’t get enough!!!!!!!

thank you!! i sincerely hope finals are going/did go well for you! you should treat yourself with a little something if/when you're finished :)

and the shark mer 141 are always happy to be of service <3

37 / 1k / part 2 of shark mer Ghost tolerating remora mer reader

...

"But I'm fine!"

“You’re not. Look at you. You’re half-asleep.”

You’re not tired, you’re hungry. You shift against him, listless and unable to voice your needs. It's not that you're unwilling to do so--it's that you can't. It doesn't occur to you. Your kind doesn't survive by acting needy around a host.

Ghost notices your silent resistance. You’re weak--too tired, too hungry, too used to taking care of yourself--and still stubborn enough to keep your mouth shut anyway. He bites back a growl of irritation. It would be easier to fight. At least then he could shout it out of you. But no--instead you’re a tired lump in his hand, and your silence doesn’t give him anywhere to push back.

He's got one arm looped around you and both of your hands grasped in one of his. He only carries you like this, holding you by the wrists, when you accompanying him isn't up for debate. When you're being particularly fussy about it, he drags you by the wrists as if your arms were leads.

You don't relish that thought right now. You finally just bow your head, tucking it against his chest in submission.

He feels the change in your body language when you surrender to his control. He notices the way you go almost limp against him. Good. That almost puts the hungry, prowling animal in him to rest. Almost.

It’s a hard thing to explain--the gnawing dissatisfaction he felt watching you comb through the sand, small and alone on the ocean floor. The protective, possessive feeling that took root in his stomach.

It made him want to bite you all over. Not just to punish you, but to warn any other lurking thing who might confuse your loneliness for attainability. Not that he'd ever express the impulse to do so.

"Are you coming back to hunt again?" you ask him.

“Why? Do you miss me that much?”

You huff. "You didn't eat enough."

His fingers tighten around your wrists. You either have an inappropriate sense of humor or no self-awareness whatsoever.

“You're in a mouthy mood, huh?” he remarks tersely. “Must be even more tired than you look.”

He’s not stupid. He knows why you invited yourself along on his hunting trip. But he’s not going to coddle you while you shy away from the issue.

He glances up towards the coral reef, considering. If he brings you straight home, you'll just go back to ignoring your obvious needs. But he won’t let you wander the sea floor like some starving bottom-feeder. And he knows better than to hunt for you—you always refuse fresh kills.

The ones Ghost offers, at least. You seem willing enough to take fresh kills from Gaz.

Pisses him off.

You open your eyes when Ghost changes course and heads for a small cove carpeted in sandbanks. He dumps you unceremoniously into the soft sand. You look around, then at him.

"Stay right here." His tone brooks no argument. He swims off with an irritated lash of his tail before you can ask him why. You're left alone, moonlight curling across the surface of the water far above you and across the sand at your fins. Watching it makes your eyelids grow heavy.

You wake with a start when he returns. He holds in one clawed hand a fish. A live one.

He comes to rest on the edge of the sandbank. He doesn't speak, merely watching with a critical eye as you shake the sand from your scales and rouse yourself back into full consciousness. Then he holds out the live fish to you.

"Eat."

You frown but reach for it. Right as you lay your hands on it, it darts away. You jump in surprise, but one look at Ghost's face tells you he expected exactly that to happen. He can’t stop a small, satisfied smirk from curving his lips. That was exactly the reaction he wanted, and now you’re staring at him with six different accusations on the tip of your tongue.

His eyes fix on you with that smug, condescending look in his gaze. "Didn't Price teach you how to hunt for yourself?"

"Yes," you snap. You push yourself off the sand and dart after the fish, catching nothing but water again.

“Clearly not well.”

You strike out again. And come up empty. Again.

He huffs a laugh. You turn on him. "What's the point of this? You're the one who was going hunting."

He leans back, propping his weight on his elbows as he eyes you. Every failed lunge and dart bring him more satisfaction. "The point is that you should be able to feed yourself," he retorts. "You're too dependent, sweetheart. You’d starve in a koi pond."

You’d love nothing more than to tell him where exactly he can shove his stupid fish, but it’s far too mentally taxing for you to refuse outright. Instead, you cross your arms in a way that just as clearly says I'm not doing that.

Ghost’s eyes glimmer. He isn’t having it.

He pushes himself off the sand and swims toward you, pushing you back against the bank when he crowds himself over your smaller frame.

"You know” —his expression is downright patronizing— “refusing an order is a bad move. Bad things happen to disobedient pets."

"It didn't sound like an order," you mutter, avoiding his eyes.

He grabs your jaw and forces eye contact. "Sure as hell wasn't a suggestion, sweetheart. If you're not gonna ask for food when you need it, you're gonna learn to hunt." His eyes are hard, and that smug, self-satisfied demeanor is buried far underneath. "You learn or I make you learn. What do you say?"

You swallow. "Thank you for catching me such a nice practice fish?"

"Good pet." He releases your jaw.

He moves back onto the sand, propping himself on his elbows once more as he leans back. His black eyes linger on you, and you feel a chill.

"Now go."

...

part 1 / [part 2]

more mer au / more Ghost / masterlist tag

[thatbuddie]

"eddie isn't queer/gay," you say. "he is straight in canon, so him being gay is just a head canon. it's ok for others to think of him as straight because that's what he is."

let's ignore for a second the fact that eddie has never ever ever ever not even once, said in canon that he is a heterosexual very straight guy. seriously!!! he has never once said it!!! if i am "assuming" he's gay then you are also "assuming" he is straight even though he has never once said it!!

how do you think we got bi buck as canon? like i am serious right now, answer the question. how do you think we go bi buck canon? evan buckley was never conceived to be a bisexual man at the beginning of 911. the reason we have evan buckley as a canonically bisexual character today is because us, queer fans of 911, interpreted him and headcanoned him as bisexual. i would go even further and say that it was us, BUDDIE FANS, who interpreted him and headcanoned him as bi. even before the writers were explicitly writing him as bisexual. we read his actions and his story and his identity and said: "this is a bi character!" and the writers looked back and realized that it made sense! and so they started writing him explicitly and canonically as bi.

was it wrong of us to headcanon a character as bisexual then? like for all intents and purposes we were reading a "straight" character as bi. were we doing something wrong? how come you are not complaining/chastising us/shaming us for how we took evan buckley, an otherwise straight character, and saw him as bi? is it because it now serves a purpose to you that he is bi?

also, taking characters that aren't confirmed queer and reading them as queer is what the queer community, and specifically the queer fandom community, has been doing for DECADES. look up the history of queer coding, i am begging you. it has been through the means of queer coding and the perseverance of people that are engaged in it that actual queer representation in media has increased. and let me tell you right now, eddie diaz is, undoubtedly and undeniably, one of the most queer coded characters there is. whether you think this queer coding is conscious by the writers or not. eddie diaz is queer coded.

and i want everyone who says things like "eddie diaz is not a queer character. he is straight in canon. it's wrong to assume a character is queer without the character saying so" to know that this is exactly what straight and homophobic people say. you are using the SAME rhetoric that has been used to shame queer fans for decades for seeing themselves and their experiences in fictional characters of all types. in fact, us, queer fans (and again BUDDIE FANS), were told so many times by straight fans that we were wrong for reading buck as bisexual. and where are we now? where did reading buck as bi take us? oh yeah, to having bi buck in canon.

so please just stop with the "eddie isn't queer in canon" comments. if you don't want to interpret eddie as queer then that is your prerogative. i will be judging why that is, for sure, but it is your right. but be honest about it. it has nothing to do with whether or not he is straight (which hasn't been said) or queer coded (which he so obviously is seeing as so many of us can very easily read him as queer). it's a personal preference and you're not engaging with canon better because of it.

[volleychumps]

Kurōo cheating on his s/o for his new manager but quickly falling out of love with her and she realizes so she quits as manager. But when he comes back to you he realizes you’re with someone else so he begs you to lie to him and say “I love you”.

Won’t You Lie to Me?

- the one in which Kuroo Tetsurou would do anything to hear the lies that stain your tongue

xFem! reader

Warning(s): cheating! angst, lots of tears, reader doesn't want Kuroo's touch in the last part, read with caution this was a painful write but I love angst soooo

---------------------------------------------

If you could go back in time, you wonder if you would take the detour to stop by your boyfriend’s volleyball practice again. It’s a bitter afterthought really, an afterthought to the scene before you. 

She yelped, manager tracksuit zipping up quickly in the process as one of her hands flies to her hair, attempting to smooth down the mess of it as if it would magically fall back into place.

But you're not staring at her. How could you? Why stare at her when the raven-haired boy standing behind her with a slackened jaw and crumpled t-shirt was just such an interesting sight to see?

"Someone's hard at work." your tone is sarcastic, but the slight crack in the tinge of your words is enough for Kuroo to take a step towards you, watching the light fade from your eyes as the cowering manager of their team stares like you're a bomb about to explode.

"Y/N-"

"Don't."

Your reaction is mild and tame, simply tilting your head to the side as you don't break eye contact with him. It was a silly high school love story to begin with, perhaps one of those where happy endings don't exist and things are too good to be true.

If you knew that, then why does it feel like every inch of you won't stop trembling?

"Go to hell, Tetsurou." But he knows. He sees it in your eyes, the finality in your tone that sealed things in place. He knows you mean it. He knows you never say things you don't mean, the same way he knows things will never ever be what they once were.

So why can't he will his legs to move towards you?

Instead, dark eyes watch you hang your head with a heavy sigh, as if you were suddenly exhausted before shoving something in the manager's hands, ignoring the yelp that left her swollen lips.

"It's for the headache he claimed he had." Your voice was monotone as you refused to lift your gaze. "He's your problem now."

"Y/N."

It almost broke you. Almost. The gentleness in his tone, the way in which a shaky hand lifted towards you, but you simply took a step back. Staring down at the manager you once called a friend, you giggle humorlessly before simply turning on your heel and walking away.

"She's so calm about it, Tetsu-kun." The manager sniffed at your absence, trying to put a hand on one of his broad shoulders. "She must have never loved you, I told you so."

But Kuroo knew better. He wasn't sure why he gave in. He wasn't sure why for a second he believed what Yue was saying before she came onto him, not denying her when she advanced. Something about your plans to break up with him? Something about how you had giggled to Yue about how you were planning on leaving him for someone better?

He can't recall why or what was said. All he knows is as he's watching you, he strangely feels quite empty inside. This must mean he doesn't have any outright feelings for you anymore, right?

If he isn't hurting when he watches you go, isn't this for the best?

He's lost in his thoughts when the gym doors come to a tight shut, your knees hitting the soft grass outside as your legs give out from underneath you, a silent wail wracking your whole body as your heart splits into pieces, taking the form of salty tears that slide down your cheeks.

--

Kuroo Tetsurou still isn't really feeling much of anything.

He didn't feel much when he told Yue he still didn't want to be with her despite the deceptive steps taken. Not when she slapped him across the face. Not when Kenma had eyed him with a look of pure disgust with a sharp warning not to speak to him for the next couple days.

The only twinge he felt was when you handed in your resignation as manager, the gym an eerie quiet before the first years hug you tightly, teary-eyed as they exclaim that they didn't want you to go but they understand. Yaku glared at him the whole time, but Kuroo kept setting up the net as the first years tackle you in their last couple of embraces, glancing your way as you stroke their hair lovingly and explain you'll still find the time to hang out.

Kuroo was waiting for you to be on your way, out the door to catch you and say one last thing-

"Y/N, you have to know I'm so-"

"Sorry." Your voice is a little breathless, like you just had the wind knocked out of you. "But let's not, okay Tets-" You catch yourself, inhaling a shaky breath before managing a small smile.

"Okay, Kuroo? I'm happy being strangers. I don't hate you, okay?"

Your shoulder taps his as you stride past, a finality in your footsteps.

"I just wish we never met."

Kuroo stands there, a single emotion stirring in his chest as his gaze stares straight ahead, his shoulder on fire from where you had gently grazed it.

Confusion. Confusion swirls in his chest as his eyes brim with unshed tears he can't exactly match an emotion to.

--

A couple weeks pass...maybe a month or two? But the raven-haired third year doesn't even notice it. He goes through the motions of school and club activities, his team eventually having to slowly begin speaking to him again as preliminaries near the corner.

Kenma taps his head against the doorway of his room, staring at him blankly.

"Hey cheater."

"Funny." But Kuroo isn't laughing, sitting up in bed to eye him with an even stare. Kenma doesn't like the look in his eyes, the usual sarcastic and confident glint in his irises and smile nowhere to be seen. "What's up."

Kenma shrugs, taking a comfortable seat on the floor before pulling out his handheld device, Kuroo blinking once in surprise before laying back down in bed, listening to the click of the buttons and the movements of the joystick.

The cat-eyed boy glances at him, looking back down at his device before taking something out of his pocket and placing it on the end of his bed.

"Y/N wanted me to return this to you."

Kuroo eyes the red scarf at the end of the bed, Kenma focusing on the next level of his game before he sits up again to examine the fluffy fabric, the characters for Nekoma High School on the corner of one end.

His chest seems to twist.

"Don't be a brat, Y/N, it's cold out here."

"What if you get sick, idiot?"

""Stop calling your best friend an idiot! You're the worst, you know."

"Don't kid yourself. Kenma's my best friend."

A lump forms in his throat.

"Fine, whatever." Kuroo had smirked down at you from his towering height, wrapping the scarf around your neck despite your wishes as you eyed him weirdly. He leans down to your height, his eyes twinkling with something you can't pinpoint.

"I don't wanna be just your best friend anyway."

You glare at him a little, tip of your nose colored from the cold before standing on your toes to lean up and kiss him, smiling as your bag hits the snow beneath you, your arms wrapped tightly around his neck as the first snow falls around you.

"Promise me." Your sweet voice is hushed, eyes staring at him brimmed with straight adoration as you cup his cold cheeks, Kuroo's onyx eyes holding yours carefully.

"Let's go see next year's first snowfall together."

"Cheesy." Kuroo's grin is cocky as you swat his chest in slight embarrassment, but he grabs your hand anyways, stopping your attacks before leaning a little closer to your face, so close your breaths are mingling. His fingers are touching the scarf wrapped so carefully around your pretty neck, stroking your cheek with a gentleness you didn't know he possessed.

"We'll get a front row seat, kitten, don't worry your pretty little head about it."

"Tetsu?"

"Hm?"

You smiled, snow in your hair as you kissed him again.

Kuroo Tetsurou could now feel again.

"I love you."

And it was his heart absolutely breaking as regret fills the beginning of the onslaught of tears.

Kenma looks up, eyes widening a fraction as his childhood friend hunches over the now clenched red scarf, his body trembling as sob after sob pours out of him, the fabric smelling of you as he holds it close to his seemingly irreparable heart.

No, it wasn't that he couldn't feel.

His body was numb and in shock with the loss of you.

--

Kuroo Tetsurou wasn't a complete idiot.

He knew the damage done was nearly permanent. There would be no fixing things, the "nearly" part of that statement lingering on the sense of false hope he had that you would at least begin talking to him.

Strangely enough, it wasn't that difficult. You began nodding to at least acknowledge his existence when dropping off a packaged treats at practice. You even began saying hello when he was with Kenma, Kuroo only being able to manage an awkward greeting back before watching you walk off with a longing in his eyes.

"Doesn't Y/N-senpai seem so much brighter these days?" Inuoka slurps his yogurt pouch, brightening up as he mentions your name. He finishes tying his shoes, stretching out his arms overhead with a careless yawn.

"Maybe she's seeing someone new."

Kuroo misses a spike, chest heavy as the first year looks up at his captain, startled.

"Relax." Kenma scolds him, not missing a beat. "It's probably not true."

Yeah.

Kuroo jogs back to center court, watching Kenma's fingers set the ball up perfectly.

It's probably not true.

He misses the spike again.

--

"After we win this, I'm going to ask Y/N for another chance."

Kenma doesn't look surprised, eyeing Kuroo seriously before releasing a heavy sigh.

"Kuroo, you should really know that-"

"Oi. Get a move on, you two, this is the last preliminary match before the qualifying match to Nationals." Yaku cuts off the team's setter, Kenma groaning a little as Kuroo jogs ahead of him onto the court, Fukurodani waiting for them on the other side.

Kenma waves to you in the stands, and you smile, waving both hands in the air at the entire team as Kuroo's heart skips a beat.

That smile was still his, it has to be.

Bokuto greets his friend with a wide grin, slapping Kuroo on the back with a little less energy than usual as the two teams begin their warm ups, the two captains meeting once in awhile since the training camp.

"Hey hey Kuroo!" The owlish boy crosses his arms, smirking a little as the crate of balls gets rolled out onto the court. "You look great, better than I was expecting!"

"So you heard?" Kuroo sighs, a hand coming up to rest on the back of his neck. "about me and Y/N breaking up?"

"Hm? Oh, that too. I just thought it would've been a little weird seeing as she's dating Akaashi now and all."

What?

His hand freezes midair, voice caught in his throat by the huge lump that forms. Slowly, even though his body was screaming at him not to, he looks back up at the stands.

Akaashi had draped his jacket around your shoulders, slight smile on his lips as he seems to be immersed in conversation with you, Bokuto allowing him to run up real quick to see you before the match began. The setter's blue eyes were brimmed with so much adoration, the beginning sparks of new love evident between the two of you as you shyly nodded along to what he was saying.

Akaashi looks down at the court once before looking back at you, bringing your hand up to kiss once affectionately with a content smile on his face before placing a quick one on your cheek, jogging back down the stairs afterwards.

You don't know what to expect when you look back down at the court, warmth in your cheeks and chest with a foreign form of love you're not accustomed to yet. You want to meet Akaashi's eyes, cheer on Kenma and the Nekoma team, wave a greeting to Bokuto-

but the look of Kuroo's absolutely broken stare was not within the scope of your expectations.

Among the feelings Kuroo Tetsurou was learning how to feel again,

Panic was not one of them.

Panic is all he knows as the whistle blows in his ears, the game calling for someone to serve the first ball.

--

"Y/N."

"Kuroo." You say his name so easily, as if you're not the same person you were that day in the volleyball practice that never existed.

The one where he took your heart and completely discarded it.

"Where are the others-?"

"Washing up after the game." Kuroo can't meet your eyes, his head swimming with the things he rehearsed for hours on end, yet unable to communicate them.

"Oh." You say softly, and Kuroo hates it. He hates how you grow awkward and uncomfortable, like he wasn't the one kissing down your neck as you giggled for him to quit teasing. Like he wasn't your first love.

Like he didn't mean anything to you anymore.

"Y/N." Panic. Panic is what paints his voice as he steps closer to you, reaching an arm out to tug you into his chest, pretending like he doesn't feel you grow rigid at his touch. "Please."

"Let go, Kuroo." Your voice lost it's soft edge, void of emotion-

just like he used to be. You love him right?

"Say it."

"What-?"

"Won't you lie to me? Say that you love me, please say it."

False hope. He recognizes the next feeling when you shakily put your arms around him as well, your tears beginning to soak through his shirt.

Please say it.

"T-Tetsu." Your trembling in his hold. "I..I love you."

Confusion is next. He feels it when you break out of his hold, pushing him back abruptly with an ocean of emotions across your face, the feeling of holding him simply wrong.

Kuroo doesn't even know he's crying, not until your placing a careful hand on his cheek to swipe at his tears messily before laughing a little at the situation.

"Tetsu, let's put us in the past." Your voice is quiet, the air freezing as your warmth creates a slight puff from the contrast. "It's over for us now, don't you see? There's too much hurt-"

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Don't go to him. Please, I love-"

"I won't lie to you again." The tone in your voice is gentle, Kuroo's breath stuck in his throat again as his eyes well up with fresh tears. "I don't feel the same anymore, you broke my heart first...why do I have to take responsibility for yours?"

Kuroo says nothing, another familiar feeling inching towards his chest.

"But look-" You point up at the sky, snow falling down almost mockingly for the first time this season, a sad smile on your lips and wet tears down your cheeks. "It's the first snowfall."

You've never looked more beautiful, with snow in your hair and warmth in your lips.

"You kept your promise."

You turn around after that, continuing to cry as you walk off to go find Akaashi to apologize for the lie you let stain your tongue as Kuroo falls to his knees, his skin numb from the cold-

but his chest isn't numb.

No, he knows this feeling. He knows this feeling a bit too well, the snow seeming to shower at his expense in a rueful manner as he stares at the dark swirl of the sky above.

Heartbreak.

--

[unknownmystery22]

ONE OF YOUR GIRLS -Charles Leclerc

Summary: Where he loved the idea of her love not her. Warning: Angst pure angst, toxic relationship, asshole charles

A/N: inspired by One of The Girls By THE WEEKEND

Charles Leclerc the man he was, his charming smile and the gorgeous eyes that no one can resist. And you are no exception. Inspite of knowing his playboy ways and his lack of comitment you found yourself attracted to him.

You being a part of media knew each driver well and were close with most of them due to your genuine questions and how you always refrained from asking about their personal life. The drivers all had taken a liking to you and all looked forward to do interviews with you, inspite of you being a recent joinee.

Lewis Hamilton your idol and your grid family was the first notice your attraction towards the Monagasque "Careful there Y/N, dont go and fall in love with him now" he said laughing but also being concerned. You just shook your head.

Charles Leclerc himself didn't make it any easier for you always complimenting you and doing small gestures which others would consider as friendly but your naive crush took it to heart. The way he would bring your favourite coffeee each time you interview him or the way he ensures you have a ride home or the way his eyes light up whenever speaking to you.

You really thought you had a chance and he did nothing to deny that or make you question your thinking about him. You just wanted him in your life if not possible as a significant other, at least as a friend. You were friends and Charles always confided in you always. Charles always made you feel like the most special girl he made you feel like you were his everything.

Max and Lando well aware of your feelings towards him. Always motivated you to tell him your actual feelings

"C'mon Y/N he never speaks to a girl more than a week if he isn't intrested in them" Lando said

"Atleast you would not keep having expectations, schatje. Just tell him" Max said

How wrong they were !

One fine evening you and Charles were hanging out in his house were you came to the topic of how you prefer your significant other to be. You thought this was it this the only shot you have. You did just that you confessed how much you like him. As soon as you confessed Charles kissed you. It was the best fucking kiss of your life. It was everything and all you ever asked for.

Everything was perfect for a while. Him hugging you, holding your hands, cuddling and going on dates. Few drivers noted the changes and were all happy for you. you too were glowing. You should have known NOTHING LASTS FOREVER.

Soon you noticed how he was never affectionate towards you in public but you brushed it off thinking he wanted to keep it private, that didn't bother you much. But when he randomly going out or partying without you knowing, flirting with other girls it made you question what you really had.

You confronted Charles about this and what his answer just made you more confused.

"What are you my girlfriend ? we are just trying thing out Y/N. I am not in space to commit right now just give me some time".

That must have been it but no, you loved him way too much to let him go easily. You stayed with him hoping things would get better and you will be a happy couple.

Things just got worse from there, he was not as open as before he slowly started ignoring you but you still held on to tiny hope you found here and there.

Others weren't oblivious to the situation though you tried not to let it show. They all noticed how you seem so down always and have fake smile on.

Lewis and Max confront you one day. You break down in front of them and for the first time you let your feeling out. You told them everything about how insecure you feel, how you feel like you are the problem, maybe if you were better or that you are being overdramatic.

"You are the strongest person I know, love. He does not deserve your love I know it is not easy to let go of him right now, but you need to he is slowly sucking the life out of you. It is better to be alone than in bad company." Lewis explained.

"You deserve to be in relationships that make you feel seen, heard, and valued. You dont have put up with his shit, schatje" Max added on. "We will be with you every step of it".

It took you time but soon enough you were done you had no more tears to cry or fucks to give him. You just said to him that you are done with him but he didnt take it seriously cause this was the cycle falling out and him convincing you and you falling right back.

"Dont I too deserve to be loved by someone ?" you asked

"I love you, Y/N. I will start taking you seriously" he tried.

You shook your head "You dont love me Charles you just love the idea of me being in love with you. You love the idea of a person living solely for you. You love that you could pick me at your worst and drop me at your best"

With that you walked out and cried for him yet in the end it hit you that all you will be is

.........ONE OF HIS GIRLS.

[megumishousewife]

yunho with a chubby girl just sounds right

A/N: Me tryna distract yall from Megs x Chubby Youtuber Part 2. It will be here I PROMISE, but for now enjoy this lil Yunho smut...And there's the smut warning too👍🏽 Also momma hwa being some what of a cock block

Ever since you started college, you decided that you wanted to explore new horizons and meet new people. With your first year of college almost under your belt, you manage to make a pretty big friend group and get out your comfort zone. As a plus size girl, these things tend to be harder to do, but your friends encourage you along the way. It's the end of the year and everyone in your group wanted to hang out after finals and before everyone headed off to their own homes for the next three months.

Your friend group along with your 8 guy friends decided there's no better place to go than the beach and stay at a hotel for the weekend there. Upon arriving to the hotel, everyone began to move all their luggage to their respective rooms. After that, everyone began to get dressed for the beach. You were kind of nervous about wearing a bikini in front of the boys but the ever so supportive San was already boasting the girls up.

"And don't forget ladies, YOUR BODIES ARE BEAUTIFUL! WEARING THAT TWO PIECE GODDAMIT!!"

Seonghwa just groans as he places his oversized hat on his head, "San, hush...you sound like a perv"

San just looked at his friend in shock but Yunho came up to you with a smile on his face

"I bet you'll look as beautiful as ever YN," Yunho said.

You blushed lightly, "Oh Yunho, thank you but I might just decide to wear a shirt and some short."

Yunho looked at you slightly taken a back, "Hm, if that's fine with you. I bet you'll look amazing in a two piece though."

You watched as Yunho walked back to his room and that's when your best friend shrieked behind you.

"GIRL?!? YUNHO JUST CALLED YOU BEAUTIFUL AND YOU WANNA WEAR A BASIC OUTFIT TO THE BEACH?! GET IT TOGETHER, Y/N!"

She dragged you into yalls shared room and got you in a (your favorite color) two piece. She examined you a little but and fixed your hair in a cute style.

She smiled at you, "I'm finna get you a man whether you like it or not."

The girls arrived to the beach later than the boys and they were obviously doing their own thing. Seonghwa was by the shore, fighting the wind, Mingi and Jongho were arguing about beach volleyball, Woo and San were renting a few surf boards while Hongjoong was asleep in between Yunho and Yeosang. Yunho did a double take when he saw you, almost snapping his neck. He lower his glasses to see you.

Yeosang was already on his case

though, "Calm down Casanova- You've been plotting on this girl all year. Play it cool."

Seonghwa walked over and joined Yeosang, "As much as I want to agree with you Yeosang, she's about to see why we call him a golden retriever."

"Yunho, just-"

Before Yeosang could finish what he was saying Yunho was already happily making his way to Y/N. Yunho came up to her confidently but seemed to be a little distracted by your boobs.

"H-hey, wanna play beach volleyball with the boys? We can split the girls and the boys so there's an even portion of us."

Yunho literally wanted to vomit because why did he sound like a little boy trying to talk to the girl he likes? This isn't like him at all. However, you didn't pay any mind to this at all.

"Sure," you smiled.

Mingi and Jongho was already gathering everyone to divide the team, 4 girls and 4 boys on one team. Team one consisted of Yeosang, Wooyoung, Jongho and San while group two was Seonghwa, Hongjoong, Yunho and Mingi. You and your best friend went with team Jongho and Yunho almost went to your side of the net but Seonghwa pulled him back.

Seonghwa said, "Stop following her like a lost puppy."

The match started and it was intense to the T. San was your team's main spiker while Yunho and Mingi acted as blockers on the other team. This was slightly challenging because of how nerve racking it was to get the ball over the net for San. But finally, the score was 24-24 for the last point of the last match. Both teams had each won a set, but this determined who was the declared winner. And what was on the line here: Ice cream...the loser buys ice cream for the winning team. Mingi serves for this team and it goes over the net to your side. The ball came in hard but Jongho was able to quickly shag the ball from it hitting the ground, you ended up popping the ball up high enough to get it at spiking level, and San did his approach and-

SMACK-

Little did you know, Yunho was watching you the entire time of the play. Just looking at your body and how the fat just adds an extra jiggle to what you did. He was even turned on by the way your breast pushed together to hit the ball and-

The ball ended up hitting Yunho square in the face. You rushed over and asked Yunho if he was okay and all he saw was just an angel that was supposed to be taking him to heaven. Luckly, Jongho dumped a bucket of water to take him out of LaLa Land. Yunho jolted up.

"I'm fine, Y/N! Let me treat you to ice cream."

You nodded as Seonghwa gasped.

Seonghwa said, "THAT BITCH IS SO EXCITED TO SPEND MONEY!"

Hongjoong side eyed his best friend, "This makes me question how much you ACTUALLY spent here."

Yunho ended up walking behind you to the ice cream stand, watching the way your hip swayed and jiggled from behind. Yunho tried to compress his thoughts about how good backshots would be with you as he gripped your love handles to force your hips harder on his-

"Yunho, your ice cream is melting, " you said to him, leading him out of his thoughts.

He excuses himself and begins to eat and talk to you more. As yall walked the shoreline together, you two heard a shout from the other end where all your friends are. It was Wooyoung."

"IT'S ABOUT TO RAIN! EVERYONE TAKE COVER SOMEWHERE!"

Yunho grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you into a nearby cabana just as the thunder started booming outside. The area was known to have random rainshowers but you could have sworn you checked the forecast earlier. Other than that, the feeling of being in a cabana with Yunho seemed a bit claustrophobic. Not because of him but because of the tension in the air. Yunho found the change of beach clothes that you guys brought. He hands you your bag.

"I can turn around while you change because I know you don't want to lay down on the daybed and you're wet," Yunho said.

You thanked him and he began to light the candles in the corner of the cabana. It's actually bigger and fancier thar he expected. Seonghwa picked this beach so he expected it to have some high quality service to it but a cabana that could go for a one bedroom house wasn't it.

"I'm finished Yunho! You can change now."

He turned his back and saw you in a tank top and basketball shorts. A TANK TOP WITH NO BRA?!? Yunho almost passed out but he just silently nodded and changed his shorts. The two of you laid in the bed with each other and Yunho felt nervous being so close to you. He had that feeling that he was about to throw up. Being close enough to you that he could feel your body heat and smell your scent almost made him want to explore your body. You interrupted his thoughts once again.

"You've been staring at me all day," you said with smirk.

Yunho flipped towards you to try and explain himself but his eyes ended up dropping to your cleavage anyways. Knowing this, you decided for the first time to be bold with a guy you liked.

"If you want me, come fuck me," you said.

Yunho didn't even try to question what you were saying, he instantly went to licking your neck while massaging your boobs. He wedges himself in between your thighs, grinding his bulge against your clit, causing you to moan. He went to kissing you while getting the two of you undressed until he had you completely unclothed. You blushed as you tried to cover yourself but Yunho lifted your arms above your head with one hand.

"Lemme see that body, pretty girl," he said as he made his way to sucking your nipple.

While he was sucking on your left breast, one of his hands managed to snake its way to your pussy. Yunho massaged you clit and fingered you, eating your moans as if it was just encouraging him to go harder. He stopped sucking on your tits and went down to your entrance.

"Yunho, I can't take it anymore," you whined as you pushed his head away from you.

He laughed, "Just give me one and we'll be done. Let me take care of you."

Yunho began sucking on your clit while fingering you. You moaned his name like a mantra, closing your thick thighs around his head. The way he ate you out was like he was having his last meal. Like a thirsty dog. He grinded his dick onto the daybed while giving you what you want. He looked into your eyes and saw that you were about to reach your peak, making his fingers thrust deeper and harder into you. You pulled his hair while letting out a loud cry and you gushed all over Yunho's face. Your body started shaking as Yunho licked up the mess he left behind. He didn't even notice that he had cummed himself. He kissed you softly on your forehead and grabbed a blanket to put over you. The two of you laid in each other's embrace while listening to the soft pitter patter of rain hitting the cabana.

"YUNHO WHAT THE FUCK?!?"

You and Yunho were woken up by Seonghwa and his oversized beach hat. He stood in the door way the cabana with the most disappointed look on his face.

"Both of you, get dressed. I will talk to you two in 5 minutes."

He shut the door behind him and all you and Yunho could do is laugh at how he acts like he's a mom.

"Yunho, I hope you don't think I was nothing but a hook up because I genuinely like you," you said as you looked down at your feet.

Yunho just smiled at you, "After this, I'm not going anywhere. You had me hooked the first day I met you. I just hate how you're constantly talking about how you look. To me, you're the most beautiful woman to walk this earth."

You kissed Yunho and the two of you got dressed and got scolded by Seonghwa. San and Woo just looked at Yunho and saw the him staring at you the whole time.

San and Woo's convo

San: My boy is a turned simp

Woo: What do you expect? He was practically foaming at the mouth when he first met Y/N

San: If they did something in that cabana...she probably saw why we call him a dog

The two of them gave Yunho a thumbs up from a distance, but he wasn't even paying attention to them. He was too busy following behind his pretty girlfriend.

[blackopals-world]

Riddle: Trey...you have to fix this.

Trey: ...

Riddle: This isn't like you. Why would you pick a fight with them? I appreciate you standing up for me but...you went too far.

Trey: I...just saw myself in her. I wanted to give them a wake up call. She was going to end up making the same mistake.

Riddle: I understand......but the situation is very different. She is defensive to protect someone she loves from getting hurt again.

Trey: That's not different at all. I was doing the same...oh...when did you get so insightful?

Riddle: No, time for that. You better make up with her quickly. I want to still be in a relationship after all this.

-Elsewhere-

Maid!Yuu: Are you sure you don't want to apologize?

Onsen!Yuu: I'd rather remove my own eyes with a chopstick then apologize to a non paying customer let alone a man.

Maid!Yuu: I'm sick of this. You can't blame every man for what happened!

Onsen!Yuu: IT WAS NEVER JUST ONE MAN! Everything I've ever done was for us! For us to survive! I know better than you what men are really like, what they will do to you!

Maid!Yuu: I do though. I'm the one that lost a leg. But I don't take my own self loathing out on other people to cover up for my failures.

Onsen!Yuu:(tearing up) Is that what you think? That I failed you.

Maid!Yuu: I-I didn't mean it like that. I just-

Onsen!Yuu: No...y-our right. It was my fault.

Maid!Yuu: Wait sis! I'm sorry!

Onsen!Yuu:(leaves crying)

[bunnygirllover45]

Long ass rant under the cut I apologize in advance.

I don't get why people interact with media they don't like, it's not only bad for your own mental health, people should let other people mind their business if they're not actively hurting nobody or spreading some hateful ideologies, I don't know if this is a hot take or not, but I think if you find any content you don't like in any social media, isn't better to just block people instead of leaving stupid comments that annoy the creator? Why is it my responsibility to block you when you can do it yourself?

I don't really like talking about these topics, but I always took the approach of just blocking people who send hate instead of replying to them with an equally bitter response, I don't want to lower myself to their level, I'm not here to interact with person or media I don't like, I come here to share what I enjoy. If I see someone I don't like in real life I don't go to them and attack them, I just simply ignore them, why shouldn't I do the same to people on the internet?

It's a little tricky to speak about these things because I don't upload the most morally correct content and my art is focused on dark yandere content, I'm aware that people will criticize that. I'll still approach the hate the same way I always do, because I think is the healthiest thing for both people, both me and the other end, I don't attack them back, and they don't see my content ever again.

Hopefully, this isn't too controversial, I don't want this to become a rant or anything, I just wanted to share my thoughts because I've been getting some nasty comments/asks lately, probably because my audience is growing and people from outside my usual followers are finding my content, or who knows. If anyone would like to share an opinion on this matter feel free to do so.

Is it okay to flag posts that romanticize bad stuff or push dangerous ideas to other people? yes, of course, you should totally do that, but I'm not here to spread any of that with my art, I just draw what I enjoy in fiction, I'm an adult trying to be responsible with the audience I have.

[valerieisunavailable]

Simon x Inexperienced!Reader

cw: age difference, age play, overstim, mentions of oral s*x and v*ginal s*x, v*brator, older rough dom simon w/ inexperienced reader.

🔞 MDNI 🔞

Yes, Simon was a little bit older than you, around 20 years older than you. He was pessimistic, gloomy, sarcastic, made dark jokes, and overall just a bit of an asshole at first glance. The average person wouldn't ever think of him. Especially not wanting to get involved with his military life.

But, you had to admit, that he was better than your so called peers, who were immature and only ever thought of sex as the only benefit of a woman. Not to mention how inexperienced they were at... Well, everything.

But since Simon was older, he had more experience and generally more respect towards women. He says that he hasn't really ever dated much, which you believe. I mean, the average person probably wouldn't touch him with a six foot pole. But that still didn't explain how he was so good at eating you out. Maybe his tactical experience? Simon was very technical and literal with his tactics. Whatever it was, it always felt incredible. Being with him was the first time yet not the last that you've been overstimulated.

"That's right, push my face deeper into this wet cunt. Show me how good it feels." He would muffle in between mouthfuls. The way he would skillfully hit all the right places with his tongue, sucking and licking continuously, with kisses to your clit and down your nether lips. All the while curling his fingers inside of you, gradually entering a second and sometimes a third finger that would perfectly hit that spongy cervix of yours. The way he would groan as he heard you coming undone before him, with you screaming his name. But he wouldn't stop there. He doesn't stop until you're a whimpering and mewling mess for him. Not until you're able to feel this for days to come.

When he would fuck you with his absolutely thick and large cock of his, he'd always have your legs at a 90 degree angle. "Better be ready for me, love." He would say, before rolling his hips and absolutely pounding so pleasurably deep into you. You could always see the outline of his cock through your stomach. Simon would then push down on that imprint on your stomach, somehow managing to fuck you even deeper. When you came undone before him, he would only roll his hips and pump into you even faster. It was as if it was a competition for him. Even when he would feel his own climax hitting him, he wouldn't stop. He had the endurance to go for five rounds before breaking a sweat. But he still wouldn't stop. Not until you could feel this for days to come. He knows this will make up for when he's on deployments, only for him to fuck You again when he returns.

Simon's a bit of an old fashioned person, so he doesn't want you using any toys. "This dick is the only thing you'll ever need." He would growl. The first time he found one of your vibrators, he put it on your clit while he fucked you. Sometimes he'll do it for fun because he knows that it makes you absolutely squeal and writhe with pleasure. He might be a bit stern, but at least he isn't like your peers. And oh does he know a way to a woman's pussy.

[etherfabric]

How the Universe provides for you + Songs

Choose a pile by which picture you resonate with the most.

If your mind is too busy to clearly decide, take a few deep breaths, and use the finger of your non-dominant hand to hover over the images. One will give off the most subtle yet prominent signals, like tingles, a magnetic pull, or temperature. This is your pile. Multiples are also possible.

Pile 1

Strength, 3 of Pentacles

You have loyal allies in your challenges. A lot of unforeseen inconveniences you can't seem to avoid are in your energy, but this time, you feel the support - be it physical incarnations of kindred spirits, or those from the other realm connected to you. Yes, your heart is pounding and your knees are shaking, and these instances definitely aren't what you would've put on your wish list in a million years - but you surprise yourself with your bravery amidst it all. You thrive in collaboration with likeminded people, even in the face of your antagonists. The Universe is sending you storms so you can see how well you build your structure, and feel like the badass boundary expert your past self dreamed they could be.

This was a test, and you passed with flying colors. All your hard inner work is tangibly paying off, and you feel elated and proud - rightfully so.

Pile 2

Queen of Pentacles, The Fool

You finally stopped caring so much. You figured out where (or with whom) you lose the energy you so desperately missed all this time, and despite the struggles of letting go, you are now light as a feather. But in contrast to the past, where you were simply too scared to attach fully, so what else is there to do but float... you can now fall back on and draw from the deep roots you grew in fertile ground. Nourishment tailored to your needs is in constant supply, and plenty of opportunities to extend that generosity onto are emerging on the horizon. But this time, you know what to look for to have it reciprocated.

There might be people you still deem generally lovable you had to leave behind, and trust that hearing their criticism or seeing the effect of your absence on them will never truly stop hurting - but you know your worth and needs better than ever, and are determined to ultimately look ahead to the promising future. The Universe provides for all, and not just through you.

Pile 3

7 of Wands, 7 of Pentacles

The Universe is fueling your fierce protector side. You respect your own time more than ever, and see the value of patience with yourself. Your vulnerability is no longer a source of shame, it has become your most precious inspiration. Outside disturbances can't faze you out of your serenity with your true self. You worked hard for where you are, and you are not letting anyone counterproductive get close to it. Take the various toxic coping mechanisms projected onto you as the compliments that they are - you trusted in your balance, followed what felt right, and are reaping the rewards, while others still cling to the very same mindset that starts itching once you are around.

You understand the delicate relationship between healthy aggression and egotistical overkill, and are a role model for those wanting to follow you. The blessings you have already received are shining brighter than ever, and it's only the beginning. Isn't it so worth it being seen as the bad guy? Your people love you for what you are doing for them. No one can take this away from you, because you know how to keep it - becoming more authentic every chance you get.

Pile 4

2 of Swords, The Hermit

I can imagine you clicking on this particular reading with a kind of scoff. "Oh yeah? Providing for me? I see fuck all." Dare I recommend to expand your understanding in which ways one can receive...? I see you clinging onto promises you kind of already know aren't very, well, promising. But for some reason you only want it that way, almost to try to prove a point no one even challenged you on. Your idea of what you need and what you want have no space for differences inbetween. This might not sound pretty or comforting - I feel awfully confrontational saying this to you actually, and my Cancer Mars is shaking like a leaf - but I see the Universe providing you with an ultimatum.

Drop the rope if you truly want happiness (and not just validation for how great all of your ideas are), or be stuck in the frustration eating away at you. Look at what you already have. Yes, it's not the ultimate dream, but you have to first step inside of you to be able to receive. Because inside of you is where you will feel the love that's on its way to you - not craning your neck out as far as you can, desperate for a crumb to roll by.

[theredcuyo]

Huh

You know those AU/fics where the kids met earlier?, like, Dick is just old enough for Damian to be a baby kind of situation and somehow they all met and get adopted within no time from each other and all that

Well, i think the perfect dynamic for a fic will be this one:

Dick

He wasn't happy at first. At all. He went from a life of a single child to older brother of like 4 or 5 now?? In like, less than a year.

He didn't even have time to adjust to Jason before he found little Tim following him around in patrol. Not time to get around that little stalker child before Jason found a lost girl in need of help who couldn't talk. No time to even get a hold of signs when Talia came to drop a baby on Bruce.

The worst part? While he can't get around it, because he's still dealing with his grief, and anger, and why does it seem like B gets tired of his last child every week, where does that leave me, And why do this kids that i barely know look at me with eyes that say they'll follow me to hell and back-

That's the thing, his new sibblings follow him like newborn duckies, they observe and copy, and do everything he does except to leave him alone. And he's not sure how to feel about it.

He's overwhelmed with all the attention, with how this house that used to be silent has become anything but that.

And also, he can't go up to the chandeliers now. The babys try to follow behind him and he knows that non experienced people shouldn't do that. That also sucks.

Wally is making fun of him. That's one sibbling for every time you complained about not having any, he says.

He gets used to them as time goes on tho, he couldn't imagine a day without Jason coming to his room to tell him an over the top sight into the book he mentioned to have to read for class.

He can't imagine not to see tiny Tim bright up every time they see each other in the hallway.

He even forgets to actually talk sometimes instead of signs because Cass just wants to spend so much time with him and they both practice the signs a lot.

Damian is the weirdest baby ever, but he's the only member in the family who doesn't complain about being hugged for long times, at least not yet, so that's cool.

Jason

He's just happy to be here.

He didn't knew what exactly a family was, and when he found out there was another kid there, he felt a bit more safe, they could team up if it was necessary to protect themselves against the adults.

The closest thing he had to sibblings before where other kids in the streets that helped each other out, the older kids got jobs at convenience stores and sometimes they'll leave out food for them, you had to protect the youngest.

He was happy to have an older brother, and Dick clearly knew what he was doing, so everything was good.

And then he found Tim inside a trash can when he was allowed in a recon mission. He was so, so tiny, like the other kids he had met, and he knew the little thing needed protection from the world. He also had a camera with pictures of B and Robin, and that was probably important.

But whatever, two sibblings instead of none now had to be a jackpot! He did feel bad sometimes about B getting tired of him because of Tim, but, at the same time, he loved that little gremlin so much he could forget about it.

Until he wasn't so sure when Tim found a lost girl wandering around town. (He isn't Even allowed to go out alone, whats wrong with him?) don't take him wrong, Cass is great, she joins them in pranks and in spying on Dick, but she also doesn't let him forget that she's older than him (just a few months damn it!) but it's just-

She's just so much better than him too. She can't read, he has her on that, but that's all. She's stronger than him (she beated his ass in training at least twice now), she's faster, she doesn't cause problems, She's smarter than him for fucks sake.

So, why-

Why would B still want him around with this kind of upgrade?

It's not like he can ask tho, B is been very busy since that lady came to give him a baby. Literally.

And, sure, Damian is a weird ass baby, the only one he's seen that doesn't cry for most things. But he likes the little guy, he just hopes he'll still be here by the time he learns how to walk.

Tim

Tim didn't expect to be caught. He also didn't expect for it to be the new kid who found him, and as if there was anything else to surprise him with, said child auto proclamed himself as his big brother from now on.

He didn't knew if his parents will like that, because the didn't like children, not even him sometimes, but when they came back the next week and the police arrested them for working with black mask and tax evasion they didn't even ask to see him, or tried to when he reached out, so he couldn't ask.

Jason did become his brother tho, when Mr. Wayne adopted him after that, the same Mr. Wayne he knew was Batman. Huh.

Well, anything was better than an empty house, and now Robin was his-

OH GOD ROBIN IS HIS OLDER BROTHER NOW.

FUCK HIS PARENTS. HE LIVES WITH HIS HERO NOW. HE WILL OUT AS MANY CRIMES OF THEM AS NECESSARY.

Tim was overjoyed to know this. Everything was nice, Dick was cool, he didn't talk much with them, but he's Robin, nothing's cooler than that.

And Jason does spend time with him, he loves beating his ass in maro kart.

And then he found Cass when he went out to buy a new camera, he wasn't allowed to go out alone, but it wouldn't be for long, they wouldn't notice surely.

They did notice, but the good thing was that it saved him from taking Cass home on his own.

She's nice too. He never had a sister (or brother too) before, but he likes her, she helps him find hide spots around the manor.

Who he doesn't like a bit is the baby. That Demon spawn.

First he appears out of nowhere. Second, he only seems to cry when someone is talking to Tim.

What is wrong with that thing.

He also follows him around for some reason, and grabs his shirt, but if Tim tries to look at him or hold him he cries. Really, what's wrong with this baby?

Like, sure, Bruce did have him by accident, and so did Tim's parents, but the fact that Damian's did want to keep him around and pay attention to him didn't give him any right to be like this.

It's not like he's better than them, B adopted them all out of a sense of duty.

Cass

Suddenly, communicating is a thing.

If she has something to say it's that she's happy. She got a baby brother, two actually. And a Big brother. And then a very baby brother.

And a Dad that loves her. And a granpa that feeds her anything she wants except for burgers. But dad buys her a burger in the secret if she tells him.

She likes spying on Big brother. She likes learning to read with baby brother big, and to hide with baby brother tiny.

She likes to stare at very baby brother. He stares back.

So everything is good.

She's happy.

Damian

Baby Damian tolerates his family. He let's Dick hug him, and Jason carry him around talking about who knows what until he falls sleep.

And gets into staring contests with Cass.

But the one he really likes is Tim. He likes to have his attention, and he doesn't like when he doesn't have it.

But he also doesn't like to fully have it, he gets overwhelmed.

Basically, baby Damian wants Tim's attention but not too much.

The family also makes a bet on who will make Damian laugh first.

They all lose when it's Tim, even Tim loses because he had all his money on Dick.

Because apparently, his presence comforts him when he misses Talia.

[squoxle]

✏ TNAIT 003: Do. Not. Get. Attached l.at fanfic

✰ pairing: nerdy!bandboy!anton x cheerleader!fem!reader| ✰ wc: 2.9k | ✰ cw: profanity, angst, sexual themes, kissing | ✰ plot: your friends catch on to the fact that you might actually be falling for this nerd, but their reaction to it sends you on a wild mission to try and convince them otherwise... [Series Masterlist]

"So...how'd everything go with Ponytail?" Dongmin asked Chanyoung at the cafe, after his shift.

"It actually went alright. That cheerleader isn't too bad," he shrugged as he sat in the chair across from him.

"Did you make any progress?"

"With her assignments? Not really. We had a little incident and just ended up hanging out for a bit after that."

"Well, don't get too cozy, alright."

"What do you mean? You're the one who got me hooked up with her in the first place."

"I know man, but just be careful. Remember that we're a part of different worlds."

"So what? Are you trying to say she's out of my league?"

"I-I just don't want you to get your heart broken again..."

"What are you talking about. We literally just met."

"I know but--"

"You're acting like I proposed to her. We're just friends. Relax," he said before taking a bite of pizza. He picked some up for the two of them to eat here.

For the next few weeks, you continued to see him. First, it was only 3 days out of the week, but by now it had escalated to 5 days. Your feelings for him grew, but you had to keep your little crush a secret, at least for now.

"I'm telling you right now. Do. Not. Get. Attached," Xoey said. She decided to join you at the cafe today. "I can see it in your eyes that you like him more than you're letting on."

"Let's just say I do like him. Is it really that big of a deal?"

"Are you insane? You're literally just using him to get your grades up. Any type of romance is out of the question," Xoey snapped.

"Can you believe she hasn't given him anything to help her?" Abigail chimed in.

"Nothing?" her eyes widened. "Hmm...interesting. Do you think he likes her back?"

"Eww. He better fucking not," Abigail rolled her eyes. "I swear if these two ever start dating, I'd actually vomit..."

"He's really not that bad," you shrugged.

"They have so many hot guys on the football team that you could easily pull. Don't settle for that dork," Abigail spat. You knew very well that she meant every word she said.

"Relax! I don't even like him like that. I already told you, I'm just being his friend so he can pull my grades up," you spat.

"Wait, wait, wait! So let me get one thing straight," Xoey interjected. "You two have just been buddy-buddy this whole time? You've never slept with him? Not even once?"

"Nope."

"Anything sexual at all? Maybe even a kiss?"

"She hasn't opened anything but her laptop for that geek," Abigail sighed as you shook your head.

"Okay, well if you really don't like him and it's all about the grades how about you prove it to us by kissing Nicholas," Xoey smirked.

"Omg, he is so fine," Abigail nearly moaned at the meer thought of him.

"Yeah, I know. And a little birdie told me that he's been looking at our girl. So this is gonna be a piece of cake," she grinned folding her hands together.

"Oh and to make it even better, you have to tell him that you've liked him forever," Abigail added.

"In front of sweet little Channie," Xoey spat.

"Girls, this is ridiculous," you wailed. "I already said I don't like him. I'm just using him for my grades. I seriously only see him as a friend," you lied.

"Do it and we won't hunt down your fanboy and tell him that you couldn't care less about him," Xoey raised an eyebrow as she leaned over the table, lowering her voice.

"And that you're just using him for the semester," Abigail added. "You've already told us how you're just gonna drop him anyway. So why not rip off the band-aid now?"

"Fine, fine! I'll do it," you exclaimed. "But not in front of him...that'll be too awkward."

Maybe it was the peer pressure of wanting to be accepted that influenced your decision. But whatever it was, there was some damage control you had to do first.

"So, what are we working on today," Chanyoung smiled as you sat down next to him.

"Hmm... well I finished writing one of my English assignments last night. Maybe you could just look over it for me first and then we can work on something else."

"Alright," he nodded as you slid your computer over to him and began scrolling through the contents of your essay.

“Umm…Chanyoung?”

“You can just call me Chan. It sounds less…formal,” he smiled.

“Okay. Well, do you have anything planned this weekend?”

“No, not really. Why?” He asked, turning away from the screen to look at you.

“I was wondering if maybe…you wanted to go out with me. N-not like a date or anything,” you chuckled. “Just as friends.”

“Yeah sure. It’s not like I’m doing anything anyway.”

“Great!” You smiled. “How do you feel about a movie at…I don’t know…6?”

“Yeah, 6 sounds good,” he laughed, admiring how sweet you were with him. Even though you said this would be a friendly date, you wanted to be more than that with him.

So what if your friends don’t like him. They’ll just have to get over it. After all, you just had to kiss Nicholas one time. It's not like you were signing yourself over in marriage, right?

"Well, umm...let's get back to studying and maybe we can hang out before you go to practice," he said, returning to the screen.

After cheer practice, Abigail dropped you off at home as usual. You waved to your parents and went straight to your room to clean yourself up for the night.

"Honey," your mom's voice called when you were in the bathroom. "When you're finished, your father and I would like to have a talk with you."

"Okay, I'm almost finished," you replied, before you heard her footsteps trail down the hall.

You had a very good feeling about what this conversation would be about. Lucky for you, you had the right answer.

"How are your grades looking?" your father asked as you sat on the couch.

"I'm actually doing a lot better," you nodded.

"Can you go get your laptop so I can see how they've improved?" he asked.

"Sure," you said before leaving the room. This conversation was just about as stale as you expected it to be. "Here it is," you turned the laptop to him, revealing your grades.

Politics — 85.97%

English — 94.81%

Math — 78.12%

Geography — 89.54%

"I have a few more assignments due this week that should bring my grades up even more," you smiled.

"This is great!" you mother chimed.

"I know we put a lot of pressure on you, but it's because we want you to succeed. I'm just glad to see that you're taking action on your own," your father began. "Without a tutor," he added.

You knew that wasn't completely true, but it's the lie you had to tell to keep everyone happy.

"Thanks," you said, closing the computer.

"Oh, before you go I wanted to address an issue," your father said as you were about to walk away. "I'm sure you've noticed by now that I froze your cards. Well, since you're obviously doing better I think you've earned that privilege back."

"Wow...I've never seen my dad so proud of me," you thought to yourself. "Then again, I've never let my grades drop like this."

"Goodnight, honey and keep up the good work," your parents smiled before you walked back to your room.

You wished that Chan was in your room right now so you could hug him. He's taken so much pressure off that you've even completed some of the assignments on your own. Meeting up with him has forced you to delegate time to your studies and giving him your login information was one of the best choices you made.

The next day at practice, you walked in to see one of your cheer mates in tears.

"What's going on?" you whispered to Janice. Abigail and the other girls were busy trying to console her.

"Word got out that Reina had been sleeping with another student to help her pass classes. Which is obviously a breach of the student code of conduct," she sighed leaning against one of the red lockers.

"So what's gonna happen to her?"

"Well, she's being suspended for the rest of the semester and will have a zero in all her courses, effective immediately. On top of that, she'll be on academic probation. Meaning, she'll be kicked from the cheer squad until she can complete a semester on her own with a GPA of 2.5 or higher."

You thought about the situation you were in right now. "That could've easily been me," you thought to yourself as you looked down at your feet. "If my parents ever found out about my little rendevous with Chanyoung they'd never trust me again..."

"Chanyoung," you gasped as you bumped into him in the halls.

"Heh, I didn't expect to see you here," he smiled.

"Well, it was nice seeing you Ponytail. But we kinda got somewhere to be," Dongmin spat as he grabbed onto Chanyoung's arm.

"Oh sorry, I wasn't trying to hold you up," you replied.

"No, it's alright. We were just going to grab something to eat before heading over to my place," Chanyoung said, turning back to you. "You can join us if you want."

"No, she can't," Dongmin interjected. "I'm sure she has something else to do."

"Dude--"

"No, he's right," you smiled, cutting him off. "I was just on my way to meet up with the girls. But maybe next time?"

"Yeah, definitely," he smiled, which just made Dongmin roll his eyes. "Oh, we're still on for this weekend right?"

"Yeah, totally," you chimed before jogging off to catch up with your friends.

"Eh hm? This weekend? What are you doing with her this weekend?"

"None of your business," Chan teased.

"What do you mean none of my business? You wouldn't even be talking to her if it weren't for me."

"Okay? I don't even see how that matters right now," Chan scoffed.

"Because you're falling for Ponytail and I can tell. I thought you didn't like cheerleaders. I guess everything's different now that you're holding hands with one?"

"Pft, what!?"

"Don't start playing dumb. It's written all over your stupid ass face. Every time she comes around and every time you talk about her you have that dumbass grin."

"Okay? So, what?"

"So you admit it? You do like her?"

"Yeah, I do. What's wrong with that?"

"She's so out of your league it isn't even funny."

"We're not in high school anymore. We can date whoever we want. Cliques don't exist here."

"Yes, they fucking do, but ever since you've been working for that high-strung cheering ditz you haven't been able to think straight."

"This is so fucking stupid. I'm not doing this with you, okay."

"The old you would've never been so blind."

"What are you talking about?"

"That bitch is two-faced as fuck," Dongmin spat.

"Whatever, man. You're just saying that because you're jealous."

"Jealous? God, you sound so much like those cock sucking sluts," Dongmin shook his head. "Wait, I just remembered that you're not even getting that from her, huh?" he chuckled. "She's just using you. She can't even bring herself to have romantic feelings for you. She's just pretending to be your friend so you can keep being her lovestruck slave."

"If you're gonna keep acting like that, I'd rather you just shut the fuck up."

"What? You don't believe me?"

"Fuck no and I'm honestly tired of hearing you bitch."

"Fine, you can go back to living out your little fantasy, but don't come crying to me when you find out I'm right."

"I think I'm gonna go home on my own tonight," Chan shook his head before walking off, leaving Dongmin behind. "See ya tomorrow, man."

"Yeah...later..."

Remembering the dare from yesterday you decided to go find Nicholas and "confess" to him. This really just meant setting up a situation where a kiss wouldn't seem so awkward. You just weren't really the type to randomly put your lips on someone.

"Hey, Nick," you smiled as you approached him in the hallway.

"Yeah? What's up?"

"Well...I heard from someone that you've been looking at me," he smirked as he anticipated the next thing you were gonna say. "So..."

"So?"

"So, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go out this weekend?"

"Umm lemme just check my schedule real quick," he chuckled, pulling out his phone to swipe his thumb across the screen. "Yep, this weekend sounds perfect. I'll pick you up at 5, okay."

"5?"

"Yeah, I have football practice until 3:45 and I still gotta shower and stuff."

"Oh...okay. Well, 5 sounds good," you smiled feinly.

"Alright, well I'll have to catch up with you later. I think you already have my number so if you wanna talk tonight we can," he smirked before pulling you in for a hug.

"Okay, I'll try to call you tonight if I'm not too busy," you said as he hugged you one more time before jogging to high-five the group of boys that waited at the other end of the hall.

As much as you wanted to see Chanyoung today, he was busy taking care of something with his brother. This gave you a little more time to bond with Nicholas...or Nick as you liked to call him.

"Hey, ____," Nicholas waved as he walked into the courtyard. "I got out of practice early today. If you're not busy did you wanna catch up a bit now?"

"Yeah, sure," you smiled.

One thing your friends didn't know was that you had a past with Nicholas. The two of you went to school together from Pre-K to 5th grade--middle school is when you both went your separate ways.

Though you never moved, Nicholas' father was stationed outside of the country. Fate had it that the two of you reconnected.

You thought back to the time he gave you a candy ring for your "wedding" in 1st grade. Even though you were just kids, it still felt so special.

It really sucked when he moved away that summer, but he made sure to send you a card on your birthday every year.

"Okay, so I have one question," he began as he walked beside you.

"What's that?"

"Did you really wanna go out with me? Or is this part of some master plan?"

"Uhh, why would you think that?" you scoffed.

"Come on, ____. I'm not stupid. I know when someone's trying to jerk me around."

"He always was quick," you thought to yourself. "Okay, fine."

"Yup, I knew it," he chuckled. "So what was it? A dare? A competition?"

"It was a dare...some of the girls from my squad think I like this guy--"

"Well are they right?"

"Yeah, but they don't really approve of him."

"So what? If you like him and he's a great guy who cares what your friends think?"

"Hmm...yeah I guess you're right."

"Ooooof course I am."

"Well, I still gotta do the dare...I already agreed to it."

"Okay," he laughed. "But what exactly do you have to do?"

"You're not gonna like this...."

"Just tell me."

"I have to kiss you..."

"That's it?"

"And tell you that I've liked you forever," though you were dared to say this, at one point (before you got to know Chanyoung) that was true.

"Easy-peasy," he smiled before pulling your in by your waist for a kiss.

"Nick!" you exclaimed as he burst out into laughter.

"Relax, I just wanted to get a reaction out of you," he smiled. "Here, I'll do it properly this time," he leaned in before gently placing a kiss on your lips. "How's that," he asked.

"Much better, but you can do it on my cheek next time," you tapped the plush of your cheek.

"Like this?" he playfully pecked your cheek.

"Yes!" you laughed. "You're enjoying the hell out of this and I know it," you smiled as he wrapped his arm around you.

"I'll drop you off at home tonight."

"Hmm? Why?"

"Well I kinda wanna go raid the gas station and I think I'd like you to be my partner in crime. I mean it's only fair. After all you're just using me to complete a dare."

"Hmm, okay. Well, let's get started now," you smiled as he walked you to his car.

"Hey," Chanyoung said dryly.

"Look, I know you don't wanna hear this, but there's something you gotta know about Ponytail."

"What is it now," he sighed.

"Earlier today, I saw her getting all gushy over this jock. And I don't mean some silly conversation. I saw them kissing. She's duping you, man."

Chanyoung sat in silence for a short while before finally speaking again. "You're not gonna stop, are you?"

"What are you talking about, Chan? I just gave you proof."

"No, what you gave me was some more bullshit stories you sat around concocting all day."

"Dude, I--"

"I don't wanna argue about this again, okay. Just drop it already."

"Chan..."

"Forget it...I'm going to sleep."

Later that night, after Nicholas dropped you off, you laid across your bed, staring up at the ceiling as you though to yourself...

"How the hell am I gonna be in two places at once?"

Thanks for reading the second episode of my series. [Series Masterlist]

Click this link to go to my main masterlist and stay tuned for the next episodes.

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[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Called to Duty 4

Warnings: non/dubcon, pregnancy, abandonment, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Characters: Captain Syverson

Summary: You struggle to move on from the biggest mistake of your life but find it hard to forget among the whispers of a small town.

Part of the Backwoods AU

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

The bank is as ever anxiety inducing. On pay day, you go down to cash your check then give most of it right back, parsing it out for your various expenses. At the end of it, you have even less than the month before. You don't get it. Thing's only seem to get worse; not just money, but your body. Every day you wake up, you feel even more crummy than the last. 

Your hopes of a treat at the cafe are dashed. You give a longing look as you walk by and peer through the window. You can smell cinnamon and coffee. You're strict non-caffeinated, doctor's orders, but a decaf would be amazing with one of those cinnamon buns. Ugh, damn, why are you torturing yourself? 

You turn to continue down the street but barely dodge out of the way of another pedestrian. He makes sure you can't pass as he mirrors you, sidestepping to block your way. You sigh as you step back and look Sy in the face. For a big man, he sure can sneak up on you. 

"Hey," he flips up his dark sunglasses, "how're you feeling?" 

You stare up at him defiantly, not quite bold enough to glare. He hasn't done anything wrong, he's just persistent. It isn't his fault he reminds you of that spoiled deadbeat. Or that your emotions are volatile, one moment teary eyed, the next blazing hot with rage. 

"Fine, thanks for asking," you shrug, "Sy, I gotta--" 

"I owe you a cookie," he points to the cafe window at his shoulder. 

You blink. You remember the cracked shortbread. You forgot about that. The mention of the sugary treat makes your stomach growl and your mouth water. 

"No, you don't--" 

"I do," he insists, "I don't like to carry 'round debts. Let me buy you one." 

"I got it free," you say, "it's not a big deal." 

"It is to me," he counters, "I was heading in anyway." 

You stare at him. You really don't get this man. You're no longer so sure that Thor sent him to check up on you, not since your last interaction. In fact, the wingman seemed more spiteful of him than you. You look across the steeet to the pharmacy then back at him. The aromas wafting out with each swing of the door have you ravenous.  

"I can't stay long, I gotta work," you say. 

His cheeks twitch, as if he tamps back a smile before it can bloom, "after you." 

He gesture behind you to the door. You turn and lead the way. He reaches past you to open the door before you can and you enter ahead of him. The din within is lively and the air is warm from the crowd and the employees steaming out orders behind the counter. 

"Wanna find a seat?" He suggests, "you should rest." 

You open your mouth to argue but think better of it. You'd rather not stand in the clustered line. You nod and head off to claim the table by the window. There isn't much left. 

You pull out the chair and brace your back as you sit with a sigh. You glance over and find Sy watching you as he stands in the queue. His gaze makes you want to wilt, instead you turn your attention out the window. 

Not even Thor looked at you like that. Don't be silly. Sy is just being a dutiful guy, helping out the town slut in her time of need. You won't be duped. Not when you can hear your name being twisted on tongues at that very moment. 

You sit and wait, wring the strap of your small purse. You watch the street. If it wasn't for the people, Hammer Ford would be serene. 

A plate clinks in front of you and a porcelain mug as well. It isn't a cookie and you can smell the herbal tea's rosy flavour. You peer up at Sy as he gives an apologetic look. 

"Cookies are still baking so I got you a cinnamon bun," he says. 

"And tea?" You add. 

"Can't have one without the other," he says, "no coffee for you." 

"Yeah, I... I know." 

You could laugh. He suggested before he's been reading things about pregnancy. You just can't picture him with a copy of What To Expect When You're Expecting.  

"Thank you," you smile as best you can. 

"Gotta get mine, be back," he excuses himself and marches back to the counter. 

You look down at the gooey iced draped spiral. You really shouldn't. Not only accept his misspent generosity but indulge in the excess sugar. Yet your hormones won't let you resist. You can at least wait until he's sitting down. 

He returns with a black coffee and a rather colourful donut. They don't match. Bitter and sweet all at once. He sits and takes off his hat and sunglasses. 

You put your purse to the edge of the table and rest your hand on your stomach, doing your best to resist the animalistic need to tear apart the dessert. His eyes follow the movement and you quickly drop your arm. You don't even think when you do it, it's just a habit. 

"You-" he begins. 

"Wh--" you find your voice at the same time. 

You both stop, hesitant. He nods and gestures to you, lifting his cup as he watches you intently. That's new too. Thor never listened much, only talked a lot. Besides, you weren't exactly together for the conversation. 

"Sy," you clear your throat and sit forward as much as you can, "why are you following me around?" 

His brows form a vee, "I'm... it's not... I'm tryna help." 

"Okay, but why?" 

His eyes flick up to the ceiling and his cheek ticks as he gives the question genuine thought. When he looks at you again, his face is set, "because I want to." 

"You want to?" 

"Yes, I'd like to take care of you. And the little one, if you'll let me." 

You can't help your snort, "we hardly know each other." 

"Isn't for lack of trying," he taps his fingers on his mug. "Aren't ya gonna try the bun?" 

"I will," you assure him. He's trying to distract you and it's close to working. The cinnamon is driving you mad. "A baby is a lot of work and... I'm not your responsibility. I know Thor is your friend." 

"Was," he interjects.  

"Sure," you accept his decisive declaration, "but that doesn't mean you have to worry about his mistakes." 

"Mistakes? I don't think so," he says. 

"Well, it's not exactly planned," you scoff, "Sy, really I don't feel right about you doing so much." 

"Wouldn't feel right not doing it," he shrugs his burly shoulders. 

“But why?” You nearly exclaim. You just want to know why he cares so much, about you? 

He leans forward, elbows on the table, “they talk about me too, ya know? Since I got back from... serving. They say I’m f—crazy, or whatever. It wasn’t easy or nothin’ over there but I’m not nuts. Not like they say. Just like you’re not some slut, forgive me for saying it out loud.” 

You look down at the table and exhale. So he hears as much as anyone else about you. At least he’s honest. At least he isn’t joining them. You purse your lips and reach for the cinnamon bun, unable to restrain yourself any longer. 

“For what it’s worth,” you raise your eyes to meet his, “I never thought you were... unwell, or whatever they say.” 

His cheeks pinch, another suppressed smile, and he tilts his head, “I’m only happy to hear you think of me.” 

[gynandromorph]

another NofNA style emulation comic, flashback style. this comic takes place 1 or 2 seasons after this comic. this one was to show Legend's first experience fighting and why she eventually came to start taking classes. she is a very stubborn character and i imagine without anyone telling her to do something else, she would have continued pursuing markscraftsmanship indefinitely. it was supposed to show a little bit of how she thinks in fights, but i think i could have done that part better.

you can see that she's walking home with a classmate who isn't a rodent. based on her dialogue, it seems like she was carrying supplies home herself instead of walking home with a rodent classmate until she befriended BY.

BY is a chacma baboon. he has a few unpleasant qualities, like cowardice and a lack of sensitivity toward Legend's insecurities, but from his perspective, he's just encouraging a friend who isn't confident in her talents and believes she's stuck trying to be a markscraft. there is a reason that he is studying to be a markscraft instead of going into fighting or a more important occupation like law or medicine; he wants a peaceful occupation where he supports other people who have to deal with the stressful stuff. they are sort of just past acquaintanceship -- they don't know each other very well. BY lives within escarpment south, like MK.

Legend lives in the same burrow, but the paperbark thorn is currently a smaller sapling, and there's less grass. the tree the leopard jumps from is a mountain hard pear (olinia emarginata). the shrub that BY hides under is a cancer bush (lessertia frutescens).

it bothered me as a kid (annoyed is maybe a better word) when predators who would chase the protagonists in shows and movies were sort of mindless killing machines, once i learned that they are somewhat selective and often risk-averse, because injury can be a death sentence for them, moreso than herbivores. a herbivore may be able to hide from predators until it heals; a predator can't hide from its need for food. i tried to give the leopard a richer... inner life than that. as Legend mentioned, she is deep past the wild-society border that's patrolled to keep wild predators like her at bay. she is aware of this. the expansion that BY mentioned is an expansion made primarily for an additional educational facility. i mentioned in the linked comic that i think markscraft classes are probably VERY populated, overflowing with students that faculty can't keep up with. the newer facility aimed to help ease the burden of educating a necessary labor force en masse. consequently, the area that the leopard is camping in is a footpath that connects the new writing college campus to a residential traffic junction which is used almost entirely by people who have no training in martial arts -- markscrafts. because the border is newer, there is probably more focus on patrolling the literal border around the campus than the paths connected to it. she is also aware of these things. in my head, she has observed many areas of their society for long periods of time (some more than others; no need to hang around an embassy to be noticed by the juiced guys with kill magic going in and out). she's absolutely picked people off here or there without the path, but she is rather desperate to be predating on largely rodents under half a pound when the consequences could be dire. when she sees two larger citizens on the path without the scent of rationale she has no hesitation. she jumped on the ratel instead of the baboon because the baboon had things stacked on his neck, and she wasn't sure how stiff they were or if she could bite through them right away. i don't know if she's ever hunted a ratel before, or if she simply knows their reputation secondhand, and thought it probably wouldn't be a problem with one coddled by society. i think she's under the belief that, unlike a smaller predator like a ratel, she is not diminutive enough to be welcome in society. it makes sense up front -- who wants to embrace the guy who ate grandma's face or dragged their baby off into the night? there is some powerful insecurity about feeling weaker than a collective group against her, and about the suggestion that there is something wrong with her way of living. i think she probably avoided them until food outside of the border became more scarce. i think wilds are shown as... "not knowing better"; in the addendum of secretary, it's put as "not thinking about the options they might have" -- but we are shown many wilds who know about society. they all seem to at least KNOW about it. they know that there is technically a way to enter it. so they DO know it's an option. it's just an option that's less palatable than killing people. and i wanted to write this leopard like that. i didn't really want her to be a hapless ignorant animal looking for food. food is absolutely part of it, but leopards in particular are very adaptable. she could just as well hunt other predators or pets and livestock near human society, but she has beef (not pun intended). i mentioned that Legend's parents raised her to be sympathetic to wilds, so here she is under the belief that this leopard would not eat people if she simply had Enough Information. who's to say? but she certainly doesn't lack ALL information about it. wilds seem to have a belief that being eaten by an opponent stronger than oneself allows you to become part of the stronger force. NOT eating someone is a grave insult (to predators, anyway, idk how prey species feel about that), and i think sparing her altogether is probably just rubbing salt in the wound about her insecurities wrt society being "better than her."

[jasperxkuromi]

Regressors that are (bodily) older, please interact!

Later 20s, 30s, maybe even older? I would love to hear from you and maybe even your stories if you don't mind sharing!

I want to meet more people like me and also show others that age regression doesn't just suddenly "stop" at a certain age

Some of us:

Didn't discover regressing/didn't understand their involuntary regression until they were older

Wasn't in a safe space mentally and/or physically to be able to regress the way we want to

Didnt "grow out" of regressing. I think a lot of people outside the community assume we will all grow out of wanting to regress at some point. Maybe some of us will, but some of us won't. Regressing can be a safe and healthy coping mechanism, no matter your bodily age!

And probably many other reasons I can't think of at the moment lol

I would love to get to talk to older regressors, or if there are any groups/discords, I would like to know those too :3

I'm gonna talk about my story a little under the cut, but I don't exactly recommend reading it if you are little right now! I am going to be talking about s3xualization of agere and children's media unfortunately.

I started age dreamer/involuntarily regressing when I was in high school without really knowing what it was. I was really into MLP FiM during its height popularity. I watched the show, collected and played with the toys, did coloring books, took my MLP blanket to school ever day. You get the idea.

I discovered regression here in Tumblr, but this was yeeeeaaars ago, like back when nsfw was still allowed. The line between ddlg and agere wasn't as solid as it is now. Or maybe it was just because I was a kid and couldn't understand better? Either way ... i ended up getting wrong ideas of what agere had to be and ended up scaring myself off. I also had adult roleplayers leaving really inappropriate comments on my posts that made me feel icky. I thought agere had to be s3xual and scared myself off.

We also unfortunately probably know the uhhh .. types of fan art that was popular of MLP. And it just ended up making me lose interest in the series. The stuff was everywhere and it was hard to avoid even if you were vigilant.

I never got a real chance to understand what healthy, voluntary regression was. I still was an age dreamer, but most times when I involuntarily regress it is out of extreme stress and it isn't fun or pretty.

I had a lot of bad things that happened to me last year and in turn I am having more health issues. Chronic conditions I already had getting worse, and new ones popping up. My mom (the one who birthed me) has been helping me a bit, but it has still been a lot of playing adult. Making phone calls back and forth, filling out paperwork, figuring out disability leave, paying bills, etc etc. I started age dreaming more and more often to cope with the stress. Like I randomly one day bought a DVD player and sets of Winnie the Pooh and Scooby Doo DVDs lmfao.

I also never stopped collecting stuffed animals and came back to collecting dolls again last year. It helps that I have friends IRL who I don't think are regressors, but still enjoy collecting with me. (my friends don't know yet, but I think they would be accepting if I told them, or they might already assume I regress tbh)

I have kinda had age regression on the back of my mind for several months, but was scared to look back into it. I was scared of going through the same thing I did back in high school. But also denying I am a regressor and that I still need to heal my childhood wounds was getting heavier and heavier on me. I am sooooo thankful I finally felt safe to begin exploring regression again ♥️😁

Side note: while I absolutely don't care if people do ddlg and similar stuff as a kink/fetish, I am thankful that the distinction between that and agere is more distinct now. It is important we protect minors and other vulnerable people from having the same sorts of things that happened to me (or worse) from happening to them.

[eventidesworld]

This is kind of a long post/rant so... you don't have to read it.

Anyway, so I've heard some people over the years of Grishaverse time claiming Kanej and Helnik as toxic couples or Kaz and Matthias as bad, unacceptable people.

First of all, this makes me very, very sad. Second, I will address my defence for each couple.

Helnik

The main complaint for this one is that 'he tried to kill her.' Now hear me out. Matthias had spent a long time in Hellgate and he recently killed three wolves, which are sacred animals to Fjerda. From his point of view, it looked like Nina had betrayed him, he didn't know about her ulterior motivation, so obviously, when he woke up, his first instinct wasn't going to be a huge hug or a kiss, it was rage. He was driven mad because of his prison. He wasn't the Honourable Fjerdan Matthias Helvar we all know and love, he was a rabid animal made out of a horrible fate that involved lots of killing and violence.

And then his prejudice against Grisha.

You heard me right... ✨PREJUDICE✨

Propaganda, rumours, brainwashing. Things that have been going on and on for years and years. And when a person is brainwashed for that long, it's hard to let go of those thoughts. But isn't that the whole purpose of Matthias's journey? A redemption arc that allows him to see the errors of his ways and change his perspective. Even Nina didn't actually accept Matthias until he proved that he could be a better person, she didn't run to him until he saved her from those Grisha prisons at the Ice Court. And by the time CK came around, Matthias was back to his normal self. The one that is kind, mature, brave, honourable, strong, despises violence and loves Nina with all his heart. In fact, he was one of the biggest reasons why Nina managed to overcome her drug addiction.

I have also seen a lot of the older readers of SOC saying that 16 and 17-year-olds turn blind eyes to the character's behaviours for the sake of the ship. THEY DON'T!!!! They know perfectly well what's happening and whether it's right or wrong. And they certainly don't tolerate Matthias's behaviour, they're not stupid. But Matthias is forgiven because he changes.

And one more thing... what part of ENEMIES TO LOVERS or FICTIONAL COUPLE went over your head?

Kanej

And now this one, which hurts me more because they're my all time favourite ship.

Kaz was far from the best lover in the beginning. He was wrong to claim that she was replaceable, nobody tolerates that. We may joke about it, but we never romanticize it. We know he's stupid.

But you want to know what makes this NOT toxic? Kaz and Inej's awareness of the situation as proved by these quotes...

"He needed to tell her what? That she was lovely and brave and better than anything he deserved. That he was crooked, twisted, and wrong but not so broken that he couldn't pull himself into some semblance of a man for her. That without meaning to, he'd begun to lean on her, to look for her, to need her near. He needed to that her for his new hat."

"I will have you without armour, Kaz Brekker, or I will not have you at all"

They are both perfectly aware. Kaz knows he doesn't deserve Inej and Inej also knows that she deserves better than him. If Kaz wants to be with her, he has to pull his shit together first. And he does just that. When he saves her from Van Eck, when he tells her that he would crawl for her even if she was of no use to him, when he makes her use the net despite the risks, when he sells every asset he ever owned to pay off her contract, when he bandages her wounds and kisses her neck, when he helps her up at the Emerald Palace, when he gives away some of his precious kruge to buy her an entire war ship, when he holds her hand without any barrier of leather, when he reunites her with her parents, when he braces his body around hers to hold her up when she's about to fall from pure euphoria despite his touch problem, and when he lets her go because he'd rather see her freely pursue her dreams than behold her to him, even if it meant that she'd would be far away from him.

Kaz never started perfect, but throughout the story, he shows both Inej and the reader that he can change. And he does more for Inej that he had to. It's even been hinted several times that he and Inej had known each other for years. They had each others' backs, looked out for one another, protected each other, sat in his office and solved murder mysteries and schemed for hours and hours, spent entire nights beside each other rushing from one place to the next and spying while lying on their bellies and looking through a long glass, fought together and comforted each other and he carried her... they did everything. And while doing that, they forged this deep emotional bond, this undying steel loyalty, this unspeakable trust, this hidden language that they could speak with simple eye contact.

"He had been so much of her world for so long" (This quote broke me btw)

Beloved Grishaverse, none of the Crow couples were ever toxic 😭

Yes, they have had their ups and downs, but hey, that's the whole point of a story, is it not? It's meant to be messy and twisty with immense struggle because the more angst, the better. You can't seriously expect Leigh to write these book couples completely perfect, could you?

Those of you who read all this, you are the best people on this planet!

[rabbitsrants]

PROOF THAT SHINRAN IS ONE OF THE MOST BRILLIANTLY WRITTEN ROMANCES OF ALL TIME - PART 4

symbolism

disclaimer: gosho's imagery is subtle and therefore often overlooked, so in order to highlight it, i'll be referencing the work of suzanne collins, an author who tends to spell out her metaphors more

sharks

chapter 882-884

how the case begins:

how it progresses:

this isn't gosho's first time exploring the theme of sharks in the manga:

chapter 311

both shinichi and haibara relate to sharks, they're self-admittedly drawn to blood and darkness. but why?

haibara was born into it, she didn't have a choice... and even though she's no longer a part of the black organization, she still carries the past with her.

shinichi on the other hand? he seeks it out. he directly confronts it, because he wants to defeat it. his unfaltering idealism is what pushes him to be a shark.

ran is very idealistic too, which i talk about here. so why doesn't she act like a shark?

"Finnick knows then what Haymitch and I know. About Peeta. Being truly, deep-down better than the rest of us." - Suzanne Collins, Catching Fire Chapter 19

the closest that gosho comes to spelling it out like this, is haibara's line about ran "i'm up against dolphin, one of the most loveable creatures in the ocean"

ran's defined by more than her virtuous nature, she's also unbelievably compassionate and sensitive. that's what makes her a dolphin.

her unmatched kindness is constantly displayed throughout the whole manga.

sometimes it irks shinichi:

chapter 787

sometimes it hurts him:

but most of the time it baffles and touches him:

chapter 258

now i'm going to say something that might be controversial: from what i've gathered, shinichi doesn't just appreciate ran's tender heart... he depends on it.

and i'm not saying that lightly, i'm aware that ran's caring nature affects a lot of dcmk characters - it's the reason why vermouth calls her an angel, why haibara refers to her as a dolphin and sees her as a sister figure, hell, it's the reason why kogoro's able to function most of the time.

but i'd still argue that nobody relies on it the way shinichi does, which brings me to the next symbol i want to analyze:

cherry blossom

flowers can represent a variety of concepts, depending on your source and in what context you use them for your writing. the same rule applies to cherry blossoms.

gosho's used it as symbol for justice in the past:

chapter 687

it's interesting to look at it through that lense, but i don't think that's what the cherry blossom represents for shinichi.

after doing some research, i came to the realization that cherry blossoms are widely believed to symbolize hope and the beginning of spring.

i think that interpretation makes a lot more sense for shinran. especially if we examine their first interaction:

chapter 924

shinichi shows ran his deduction skills to impress her... ironically he ends up impressing everyone but her. shinichi's condescension leads to a full-blown argument:

but then something completely unexpected happens... despite the fact that they don't know each other, despite the fact that shinichi insults ran, despite the fact that ran's completely put off by his arrogance, despite all of that... she offers him a cherry blossom and along with it the kindest smile he's ever seen:

and i just can't help feeling like ran's cherry blossom is symbolically very similar to suzanne's dandelion:

"I found him staring at me  from across the school yard. Our eyes met for only a second, then he turned his head away. I dropped my gaze, embarrassed, and that’s when I saw it. The first dandelion of the  year. A bell went off in my head. I thought of the hours spent  in the woods with my father and I knew how we were going to  survive.  To this day, I can never shake the connection between this  boy, Peeta Mellark, and the bread that gave me hope, and the  dandelion that reminded me that I was not doomed. And more  than once, I have turned in the school hallway and caught his  eyes trained on me, only to quickly flit away." - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games Chapter 3

"What I need to survive is not Gale’s fire, kindled with rage and hatred. I have plenty of fire myself. What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again. And only Peeta can give me that." Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay Chapter 27

and clearly, only ran can give that to shinichi...

let me further elaborate by revisiting the shark analogy:

the most beautiful dolphin in the sea sees a shark like him, calls him out on his bluff and instead of avoiding him, she actually welcomes him. ran shows him genuine affection, despite having so many reasons not to. how could he not fall for her?

for someone like shinichi, a cool shark who's able to recognize other predators in the sea from such a young age, seeing the innocence and warmth of a dolphin is pivotal for him, because it reminds him that there's so much more to life than constantly familiarizing himself with other sharks (in his childhood by reading and later by investigating them)... there's good too.

to summarize... shinichi sees a delicate cherry blossom, a gentle dolphin and holds on to her for dear life. he desperately clings to the promise of hope and spring, he depends on her affection and warmth. he needs ran, because without her winter would never end, he'd never escape to coldness of the sea, he'd freeze.

which explains why

a) he's so protective of her

b) ran's smile serves as a compass for shinichi throughout the whole story - while his mind is busy chasing sharks, shinichi's soul is persistently searching for the same smile that strummed his heartstrings all these years ago. which is why he immediately notices when ran's not okay (even though she's very skilled at concealing her pain) and why he always tries to make her feel better

and that's ultimately why

a) shinichi's keeping his identity a secret

b) he's so focused on getting his old body back

without ran, shinichi wouldn't have a constant inner conflict as conan, without her, he'd lack purpose and as a result, detective conan would be empty and lifeless.

ran's not just a love interest y'all...

she's the heart of the entire manga.

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