#or they just don’t ever acknowledge us and pretend like we don’t exist

[musclesandhammering]

Perpetually annoyed by the attitude straight women have about gay men and the gay men who encourage it 😒

[childrenofcain-if]

Hiii, I hope you have a nice day. I just want to tell you that since I found your story I haven't stopped thinking about it and the characters. The way you write is amazing and I can tell you know what you are doing. As someone who writes in her spare time I must say I am in love with your writing. ✨

But seriously, you write very well, I hope the universe gives you health and lots of motivation to continue with your projects.

Now, C is the most popular Ro and I get it, it's mine too, but I want to know more about the others too. Hahaha

I don't know if you've answered this yet, from what I've read you haven't, and that's fine if you don't feel like answering or don't have time.

What would you say is the Ro's way of dealing with jealousy?

Will there be any characters who are jealous of other Ro's?

And also, what kind of voice would you describe for them? How do you imagine their voices?

Oh oh, and will there be some difference in the way Ro's interact with different MC's?

Thanks for reading and for sharing your talent with us, and sorry for talking so much and asking so many questions. Hahaha

Pd: soooo we already have amazing Ro's but is there a possibility of having you as one of them? pls 👉👈🌸

i’ve gotten so many asks about my writing and ngl, i was very surprised because imposter syndrome is a bitch and i have a hard time being happy with anything i write. y’all have made me so much more motivated and confident in my writing and i can’t thank you enough. this is to let you know that i’ve read all the sweet and supportive asked you’ve sent me and i’m eternally grateful for everybody who have faith in me and this story 🫶🏻

okay, sappy axel aside, let’s dive into the questions:

what would you say is the ROs’ way of dealing with jealousy?

C LACROIX

C’s jealousy is a quiet, smoldering thing, more akin to a slow-burning ember than a raging fire. it begins as a mere flicker, an unsettling gnawing at the edges of their mind, something easily brushed aside in the beginning. but it grows, consuming them in small, imperceptible increments.

they don’t lash out; that would be too obvious, the action of someone too insecure. instead, their jealousy manifests in control—sharp, calculated moves to reassert their dominance, their superiority. a barbed comment here, a subtle maneuver there, each action designed to tighten their grip on what they perceives as theirs.

C cloaks their jealousy in a façade of indifference, even as the venom coils tighter around their heart. the game, after all, is not about emotions—it’s about winning. and C Lacroix does not like losing.

V NÆSHOLM

V’s jealousy is a battle of wills, fought not just with the outside world but within themselves. raised on the virtues of patience and self-restraint, they resist the initial sting, the impulse to confront. V does not crumble at the sight of competition; rather, they internalize it, turning their attention inward, wrestling with the dichotomy nature of their feelings.

they pray, of course—they always pray—seeking strength to overcome what they see as a personal failing, a momentary lapse in their otherwise steadfast faith. but jealousy lingers, seeping into their thoughts like a persistent shadow.

it is a test, they tell themself, one they must pass without faltering. and so, V watches, waits, and suffers in silence, until the day when they can either forgive or be forgiven.

W OSTENDORF

W’s jealousy takes the form of a timid, creeping thing, a quiet dread that blooms slowly and without warning. it unsettles them, making them feel small, insignificant. they know what it is but can’t quite bring themself to acknowledge it. it’s easier, safer, to pretend it doesn’t exist, to bury it beneath layers of strained politeness and mild-mannered smiles.

when jealousy takes hold, W retreats into themself, seeking solace in routine and familiarity, as if by doing so, they can keep their ever-growing at bay. they avoid confrontation, preferring to suffer in silence rather than expose this chink in their armour.

they convince themself that it’s nothing, just a passing feeling, that they’re above such negative and petty emotions. but deep down, they know that their jealousy is simply fear dressed in a different guise—the fear of being overlooked, of never being enough for anyone, much less you.

D DIACONU

D’s jealousy rears its head as a raw, visceral thing, a sudden and overwhelming force that they’ve never quite learned to control. it ignites quickly, like a match struck in the dark, flaring up in an instant and consuming all rational thought. they feel it in their chest, hot and suffocating, and their first instinct is always to fight—to claim what they believe is rightfully theirs.

but D is also scared, terrified of the depth of their own emotions, and so they pull back, lashes out in unexpected ways, the anger masking a deeper fear. they’re torn between the desire to protect what they love and the dread of being inevitably hurt again.

in the end, D’s jealousy is as much a reflection of their insecurity as it is their passion—a volatile mix that will leave anyone restless, yearning, and perpetually on edge.

M WHITLOCK-SINGH

M’s jealousy is a cold, calculated affair, more of an intellectual exercise than an emotional response. they analyze it from all angles, as if it were a puzzle to be solved rather than a feeling to be experienced. they don’t let it show; that would be beneath them, unbecoming of the “paragon of styx.”

instead, M channels their jealousy into ambition, using it to fuel their drive, their need to prove that they are, indeed, the best. it’s not that they don’t feel it—they do, acutely so—but they refuse to be ruled by it. jealousy, in M’s eyes, is a weakness to be mastered, a flaw to be overcome.

and so they play the long game, biding their time, waiting for the moment when they can subtly, almost imperceptibly, reclaim their rightful place without ever lowering themself to the level of those low-level thugs who provoke it.

will there be any characters who are jealous of other ROs’?

i didn’t understand this question fully, but i’m guessing you mean amongst the ROs? if so, C would be more jealous of D if they ended up dating the MC and vice-versa. W is jealous of any ROs who date MC lmao, but they’ll try their best to temper it down.

and also, what kind of voice would you describe for them? how do you imagine their voices?

C LACROIX: silky and husky, with a slightly cold, detached quality.

cédric’s voiceclaim would be tom hiddleston, while céline’s would be ella purnell.

V NÆSHOLM: gentle, warm, and steady, with a soft, almost lyrical cadence.

vance’s voiceclaim would be jordan fisher and for vanessa, it’s the same as her faceclaim, taylor russell.

W OSTENDORF: soft and slightly breathy and raspy, with almost a drawl that surprisingly makes them sound sincere most of the time.

for wilhelm, i’d say andrew garfield comes to mind. wilhelmine definitely has gracie abrams as her voice.

D DIACONU: deep, rough, and slightly smokey. there is also a gritty edge that comes out when their emotions are getting intense.

dumitru’s voiceclaim is definitely jacob elordi, while imma have to give dumitra to sophie thatcher.

M WHITLOCK-SINGH: polished, refined, and posh, very articulate with a natural commanding tone.

maxwell’s voiceclaim would probably be a mixture of benedict cumberbatch and dev patel. i knew from the conception of maxine as a character that i wanted simone ashley to be her voiceclaim.

and will there be some difference in the way ROs interact with different MCs?

ooh definitely. it largely depends on your character’s personality and choices tbh, but don’t worry, there’s no weird stat system for that. you don’t have to kiss their asses all the time for them to treat you nicely, however, you shouldn’t be overly rude either because that’s going to lose friendship/romance points.

i guess what i’m trying to say is that your MC doesn’t have to be a complete doormat to progress with their platonic/romantic relationship with the ROs. some of them, like C and M, might even start softening up if the MC is more of a gentle/shy type.

[idk-maybe-i-did-it]

This is for the survivors

TW: PTSD, sexual assault and trauma

nobody talks about the rougher side of PTSD.

like how your trauma could be ‘not as bad as someone elses’ even though everyone’s trauma is different and nobody needs to compare because it’s unhealthy even though a lot of survivors do anyways (me) and that’s not the rougher side im talking about

im talking about how maybe it wasn’t as bad and maybe ‘nothing actually happened’ because its ’not as bad’, im talking about how that’s what we tell ourselves and that’s why we pretend we don’t feel any symptoms and that’s why we mask

im talking about how, yeah no penetration actually happened, but the physical memories still exist all over my body. im talking about how even though ‘nothing actually happened’ and i dont get nightmares about the actual event, i get the physical memories.

I am talking about how nobody talks about the fact that when assholes are invalidating us, they fail to notice that even though ‘nothing actually happened’ we can still feel EVERYTHING, we can still remember EVERYTHING THROUGH OUR BODIES, we might forget in our brains but the PHYSICAL PAIN AND THE PHYSICAL TOUCH IS STILL LIKE A WHISPER ON MY SKIN

I am talking about the rougher side of PTSD where it’s the most invisible side ever that you can’t explain, where even though ‘nothing actually happened’ it doesn’t stop my mind from imagining everything actually happening with random ass people in my life.

nobody talks about the terror, the absolute Terror that grips your heart when you can feel the memories on your skin. Nobody talks about the terror when you think about some random person on the street taking advantage, nobody talks about the unhinged thoughts of Something happening again with Anyone you See.

nobody talks about the pain.

this post is for the people who invalidate themselves and say ‘nothing actually happened’, ‘I don’t get nightmares’, and ‘it’s not that important’ because I want you to know that I fucking see you. I can see through all the lies and all the faking it.

You are hurting.

It is okay.

Please do not downplay your symptoms, maybe not everyone can understand but there will always be someone who wants to help.

please just tell that little person inside you that it is okay to acknowledge how you are feeling. please tell them it is okay.

[marlynnofmany]

What’s a Minor Heart Attack Between Friends?

It’s never a good look to be visibly startled by your coworker’s existence. Especially when you’re the only human on a spaceship, and you’ve surprised more than one shorter alien by turning a corner too quickly. I should have known better after tripping over Mur’s tentacles that one time; blind corners are risky. Anything could come around them. And the rest of that little courier ship’s crew ran the range of appearances. None of them should have given me much of a shock at that point.

But dang, Trrili looked scary. I couldn’t help flinching every time she appeared when I wasn’t expecting it.

Picture this: I was talking to Coals, the burly little Heatseeker with deep red scales and a quiet demeanor. We were outside the office-type room where some of the crew did translation work to bring us extra money. He was telling me about a random poem that someone had broadcast through space; I was thinking about whether his full name fit on paperwork; his name is Glowing Coals (Which Create the Heat We All Love) — that’s not important, but the point is, I didn’t expect Trrili to step out of the doorway, and I jumped.

Shiny black and red, bug eyes and mandibles, taller than me, pincher arms, and far more stealth than should honestly be allowed. Seriously, Zhee was the same species, and he clicked when he walked, but Trrili was a master of stepping silently. And while Zhee was colored in gaudy purples, Trrili just looked evil.

I did not say so out loud. I know better than that. But the flinching was an instinct, and there wasn’t much I could do about it.

Except laugh it off and apologize, of course.

“Woah, didn’t see you there!” I laughed awkwardly. “Sorry. Has anyone ever told you that you’re very quiet?”

“Yesss,” Trrili said with a completely unnecessary hiss. “It has been said.” I was still learning Mesmer facial expressions, but I was pretty sure that her antenna angle meant amusement. She was smirking at me.

“Don’t encourage her,” said Coals, pulling my attention back down to hip height. He was short for a Heatseeker, with stocky proportions that made him look like a lizard-turned-teddy-bear when standing next to the hulking terror that was just another person, dang it, no matter how creepy.

“Encourrrrage?” Trrili purred with an unsettling crackle to her voice, crouching to loom over Coal’s shoulder.

He didn’t bat an eye, still gazing placidly up at me. “Some of us take unseemly pleasure in predatory games.”

Trrili flexed a pincher ominously, sliding back into the shadows. “Sssssome of us are good at it.”

“Like I said,” Coals told me as she disappeared. “Don’t encourage her. She’s very proud of herself.”

“Well, isn’t that Mesmers in a nutshell?” I asked, trying for a smile. “Mesmerizing and magnificent and ready for everyone to acknowledge it?”

Whatever Coals was about to say was lost as Trrili sprang out to land with half her bug legs climbing the wall, filling the corridor with black-and-red nightmares, hissing.

I jerked in place. “Ngah!”

Trrili’s hissing laughter merged with a long-suffering sigh from Coals.

“Welcome to Trrili’s favorite game,” he said. “The captain made her promise to stop scaring Paint, after one too many breakable things got dropped.”

Trrili gathered her limbs into a more civilized configuration. “Paint is too easy to startle,” she said, without a trace of a hiss. (Ha! Knew she was doing that on purpose.) “Hardly a challenge.”

I tried to pretend that I wasn’t 50% adrenaline at the moment. “How many times have you gotten smacked in the face on reflex?”

Trrili spread her arms. “My trrrrack record is exssssellent.”

I didn’t point out the inconsistent hissing. “Anybody ever try to scare you back?”

“None successsssfully,” she said with a tilt to her head that I chose to interpret as arrogant.

I shifted my weight onto one food, aiming for casual as my heart rate calmed back to nearly normal. “And are you the type to snap somebody’s head off as a startle reflex, or would you take that well?”

Another hissing laugh. “We may never know!”

“She’d just flare at you,” Coals said. When I looked down at him, he raised his arms in a loose approximation of a Mesmer threat display. “‘Oh no, a scary thing! I’d better show it I’m scarier!’”

A frightening face appeared to glare at him from up close, but he ignored it with the ease of long practice.

“Good to know,” I said. “Well, I should get going, to do the things I was going to do. Some things. Right, check the supply list! It’s been nice talking to you!”

I waved and left, nerves still singing that I could get jumped at any moment. Thankfully only goodbyes followed me to a more populated part of the ship. I had a supply list to check, and now also a careful prank to consider.

I found Zhee in the supply room.

“Question for you,” I said by way of greeting. “Well, several. Do you and Trrili come from the same planet, or are there Mesmers everywhere? I don’t actually know.”

He stopped counting soup cans or whatever and quirked one purple antenna in a fair approximation of a raised eyebrow. “Several planets and three dozen moons have been graced with Mesmer populations,” he told me. “I have no idea which population center she hatched in. Somewhere fond of malicious cackling.”

“Ah,” I said. “Yup, she does seem to like that.” Since he was still looking at me (from a reasonable height, which was nice), I continued. “Are you familiar with snakes?”

“That’s an animal from your homeworld, isn’t it?” Zhee asked. “Something with scales?”

I nodded vigorously. “Picture a small Heatseeker without arms or legs, just a long body that wriggles across the ground.” I made vague gestures. “Like a head on top of a tail.”

“Why?” was his only answer.

I shrugged. “They eat little animals that live in holes in the dirt. Being long and narrow makes it easier for them to find prey.”

“Oh, well, obviously,” Zhee said with a wave of one pincher arm. “Can’t argue with that.”

I couldn’t tell if he was kidding or not. “Some of them are venomous, with a bite that can kill a much bigger animal.”

Zhee rested his pinchers on the box of soup cans, and rotated his head at an uncomfortable angle. “And why are you asking if I’m familiar with them?”

I went for honesty. “I want to startle her back.”

“Ah! Well, then.” Zhee turned away from the box, his many legs tapping quietly as he gave me his full attention. “That I would like to see. What is your plan?”

“Still rough at this point,” I admitted. “But there’s a classic prank where I’m from called a snake-in-a-can…”

* * *

In the end, I went a slightly different route, and had to wait until after our next supply run. That was a long wait. Trrili made two more surprise appearances, laughing at the way I twitched both times. At least I kept in my yelps of surprise. I found myself glad that she was so big, simply because it limited the dark corners she could jump out of.

Finally my chance came. It was a casual mealtime with most of the crew coming and going from the kitchen and lounge, enjoying their favorite foodstuffs after the recent restocking. I’d made a point of getting an over-hyped box of “Earth Foods For Humans,” and sat down at a table right next to the hallway.

Paint came over to eat with me, all splotchy orange scales and a sunny disposition. I showed her some of the many things in the box, just waiting for the inevitable.

A shadow fell over the table. Paint meeped quietly, her mouth full of fish.

I turned to find shiny black mandibles spread wide, mere inches from my face.

“Oh, hi Trrili.”

She closed up her face. “You arrrre becoming no fun,” she hissed.

“Nonsense, I’m lots of fun,” I said, digging through the box. “Hey, while you’re here, I’ve been meaning to ask Zhee: can you guys actually smell ripe fruit? Since you don’t eat it?” I pulled out a bruised orange and removed a chunk of peel, holding it up for her to sniff.

“It smells like a plant,” Trrili replied. “Somewhat sharp and unpleasant.”

“Huh. I guess that’s the citric acid,” I said, setting it down and digging some more. “You’re missing out; it smells delicious to me. Oh hey, look at this!” I pulled out the stiff paper envelope I’d hidden in the box earlier.

Both of them were watching. So was Zhee from the next table over, but he was doing a good job of pretending he wasn’t.

“These are such a delicacy,” I said, flipping the envelope over but not opening it. The front held a picture of a snake. I waved at Zhee. “Hey, remember those venomous animals I was talking about? The ones with the rattle on their tails? I got some of their eggs!”

“You are welcome to them,” Zhee said.

“I think you guys would probably like these,” I said with a glance up at Trrili. “They’re really pretty; they seem like the kind of thing a Mesmer would appreciate. Here, have a look.” I handed her the envelope while I made a show of digging around some more to see what else was in the jumble of potatoes, beef jerky, and triple-bagged stinky cheese.

Trrili took the envelope, gentle with those little wrist fingers that let her manipulate things with pincher arms. I deliberately didn’t watch, instead keeping my eyes on Paint, who was opening her mouth to ask a question.

When I heard the loud rattle, I whipped my head up in time to see Trrili toss the envelope away and flare her pinchers in a hissing threat display that was every bit as dramatic as I’d imagined.

Paint shrieked.

Zhee laughed the hardest I’d ever heard him.

“It’s okay,” I said, grinning to split my face as I picked up the envelope from the floor. Other people were asking questions, though Zhee’s obvious amusement kept them from getting too worried. “It’s not real.”

While Trrili hissed quietly, I upended the envelope over my hand. The contraption that fell out was the most low-tech of pranks: a bent wire, a rubber band, and a metal washer that had rattled against the paper when the envelope was opened, releasing pressure. I’d wound it up just before leaving my quarters. And it had worked beautifully.

“What is that?” Paint asked, still leaning away from the table.

“Karma,” I said, holding it up and spinning the washer, still grinning. “What do you think, Trrili? Mesmer approved?”

Trrili folded her arms tight against her body and angled her antennae into a fierce glare. She left without a word, stomping instead of moving silently.

Zhee was still chuckling. “Mesmer approved,” he declared. “That was excellent.”

“Oh good,” I said.

Paint settled gingerly back into her seat. “Where are the eggs?” she asked.

“There aren’t any,” I said, tucking the gadget away and picking up the orange again to resume peeling. “Rattlesnakes don’t even lay eggs; they have live birth.”

“Oh,” Paint said.

“But Trrili didn’t know that.” I separated a slice of orange and popped it into my mouth. “Think she’ll lay off the startling?”

“Hm. Probably not; she really likes it.”

“Then I may just have to come up with a few more surprises for her,” I said, smiling with all of my human teeth. “My people have an entire industry for things like this, and I have a childhood full of ideas.”

~~~

Further adventures in backstory for this book. More to come!

[sleepygremlin11]

The reactions to Miquella as a character is honestly so telling about the broader souls gaming community. I mostly mean on Reddit because I am like 90% straight cis Reddit guys couldn’t analyze a evil character with any sort of benefit of the doubt. TLDR at the bottom because I’m a hoe who loved to ramble…

I’m not gonna pretend that I have a perfect grasp on Elden ring lore, so if anyone notices anything like crazy wrong with this feel free to let me know. But, from what I have seen on YouTube and Reddit people are desperate to make miquella out to be the most evil mf to ever exist in a video game. In all of the analysis I’ve seen of him as a character. People don’t seem to want to acknowledge that he’s probably mentally stunted from his curse. Like be so for real 10-year-olds are the most evil motherfuckers to ever exist, being stuck like that for hundreds of years, would drive anyone to a little bit of mass genocide. People also don’t want to see that he had majority positive intentions, and if you’re looking at it in a way that acknowledges that he’s probably despite his actual age only thinking with the mental capacity of a young child, the sort of black-and-white morality that he used in his campaign is completely fitting for a kid of that age. I think dudes on Reddit just are all not allowed within 60 feet of school so they’ve never interacted with children before, but I think if I asked my cousins that are that age they would solve a corrupt world they would say they would force everyone to be nice if given the opportunity.

Also, please take a second to consider the situation he was raised in before you make judgments on him just being a completely morally black character. Marika is absolutely insane from what we know of her, and wouldn’t you know it? So much of what Miquella does is similar to his mom. But he also leads with intentions to be better than her and a more positive force broadly. anyone who has played Elden Ring can and should tell you that the setting of the game is absolutely grim dark. Most of the characters you meet want you dead and if they don’t want you dead, they will probably end up dying by the end of the game. Even in the games happiest endings, the end is still bittersweet and nothing is really fixed. particularly because that’s just what the souls like genre goes for in it’s messaging.

I don’t want to make baseless accusations of homophobia to an entire group of people and a fandom that is admittedly accepting for websites that tend to be cesspits of homophobia and transphobia. But I feel like despite They being similar intentions and results Rahni does not get as harsh of a reaction as Miquella does. I firmly believe that this is because he is one of the few queer characters that we see in any soul games. It’s of course not great that the one aspect of queer representation is an incest pairing where one of them is getting molested. But I would still categorize him as a queer character. I think with a het pairing people would be more willing to make the relationship seem less predatory, but because it’s a queer relationship and Miquella is admittedly a bad character, people don’t look at their relationship with any sort of nuance. Radahn and Miquella are not the only examples of incest in Elden ring, and I think it’s also very common for stories based on pantheons to have incest. That sure is weird as hell, not a good thing, and it’s weird as fuck in my opinion. But it’s common in these stories. This could just be me being naïve, but I have never seen such a harsh reaction to a couple in media even when discussing other similarly, toxic and abusive pairings within media.

Idk if anyone’s willing to share their thoughts on this, I am more than happy to talk in the comments, so please let me know what you think 🥺

TLDR: Miquella is an evil but well written character and his actions make sense in the story. Fandom should not regard him as harshly as they do. Especially on sites like YouTube and Reddit, which are adorably dominated by straight cis men. I think part of the reason fandom reguards him so harshly in these communities is because he is a canon queer character. It’s also two in the morning right now when I’m writing this so this probably makes no sense and I’ll delete it tomorrow. 





[milogreer]

the thing about morgan and obscura is that i want obscura to feel like the most treasured person on earth and i know he would treat them that way. because for all that morgan is guiding them through learning how to live with their sight, obscura is the one leading the dance - they choose the time/place, they set the pace, and he meets them exactly where they're comfortable. a real slow burn with them would be so rewarding and i want it so badlyyy

i've talked before about the intimacy of "time is a song" and i am not an essay writer, i am a rambler, so if this is repeating points from that post, that's life! i just wanna talk about them again, more so this time in the context of "consulting with a seer" and how morgan sets the tone for their following relationship right off the bat

You don’t have to answer any of my questions, you don’t have to ask any of your own, this meeting is what you want it to be. But—you’re the one who reached out to the Department. Not the other way around. Clearly you wanted… something. No one’s keeping you here, you can leave at any time, you can tell the Department to go kick rocks and never speak to them again. But you’re the one who asked to meet with another Seer. And now you’re saying… nothing. Is it me? The Department asked that I be the one to speak with you given that we’re the only two Seer Obscura in existence right now, but if anything about me personally is offputting, I’ll gladly ask that a different Seer be the one to help you. Getting you whatever support you’re looking for is the only goal of all this. If someone else would do that better, then that’s what I want for you.

the consistent reassurance that obscura can dip whenever they want to. like from minute one his top priority is making sure they're as comfortable as possible because he knows the anxiety that comes with being a seer obscura

To be Obscura is incredibly rare. To be a Seer Obscura is unheard of. The chance of you or I existing at all is infinitesimal. The chance of us existing at the same time is unfathomable. But we're here.

it's hard to even find the words for how this makes me feel LMFAO it's .... it's the inherent soulmateism of being the only two people alive experiencing the same thing. and the fact that it involves someone who maybe not even necessarily believes in "fate" if i'm understanding ?? like he hates the term "Known Outcome" because he doesn't believe the future is fixed and totally knowable, but he acknowledges how insane it is that they've been brought together despite the chance of it being literally unheard of. ykwim. am i talking nonsense

You and I have a unique circumstance that we face. One that no one else can really understand. [...] It’s just you and me. That said, nothing about that fact is an obligation. Being the only two Seer Obscura doesn’t mean we need to be friends, or even have a relationship at all. It’s your life to live as you choose. If you want guidance, understanding of a shared experience, maybe even friendship eventually from me… then I would like to get to know you. To help you where I can. But if you don’t want those things, if you came here for an answer, and you got it, and you want to go back to what you know, I completely understand. You don’t owe anyone anything by virtue of being who you are.

and back to the gentle insistence that nothing is expected of them - if obscura wants to turn and run, pretend this never happened and continue suppressing their sight, they can. it's entirely their choice. but he's also giving them the reassurance that they aren't alone if they don't want to be.

like. i think what really gets me about all of this is that it's so genuinely selfless of him? because imagine meeting the one person who could truly understand you on a level no one else ever will, someone who by all accounts should not even exist in the same space as you, and then completely sincerely telling them that if they have no interest in sticking around, that's okay. you know? like i imagine the majority of us would at least try convincing them to stay. but he doesn't. he puts all the cards in their hands and lets them choose how to proceed, and he doesn't hound them when they vanish for a while after this meeting. everything happens on obscura's time; there's no pushing them towards anything they don't want

i think obscura is ... fragile, perhaps? and i think they need careful hands and a patient heart and morgan could be everything they need. i want them falling asleep on his couch after a late night talking and i want him to gaze at them fondly before putting a blanket over them. i want brief hand touches when they pass him something and to hear his breath catch in his throat at the contact. i want more instances of that tense pause before "...i want to know you." i want him to make silly jokes just to make them laugh and then to get starry-eyed when it works, and when they try to cover their mouth to hide their smile, i want him to tell them they have a beautiful smile (without telling them not to hide it). i want them to almost kiss but be interrupted by someone's phone going off or otherwise interrupted so they turn away, flushed and awkward, and they don't talk about it again. i want them to kiss in the rain, soaked and shivering but not caring about anything but the way they feel on each other.

sigh. where the hell was i going with this. i don't know. i just think they have so much potential for a life changing slow burn. i cannot believe they make me feel so strongly when they've only had three audios

[adayladoorwalt]

This is a bit of a rant. Something that feels so wrong to me on twitter is the fact that people genuinely think that the end of the dsmp meant the end of anything related to the series, when the dsmp ended people left because of their own personal issues and feelings. The fans moved on and then the stories that could have happened were lost. Think about the stories that because of the fandom’s response to even seeing dsmp, were lost. I think back to how when Ponk expressed interest in doing projects on the dsmp, her fans fucking freaked, thusly they stopped any mention of a new dsmp project.

The DSMP isn’t lost media because of lost streams or lack of content, it’s lost media because the streamers never came back to something that they enjoyed doing.

I think of the creators who actually credit their time in the dsmp as a way to grow their audience and now don’t mention it because it’s not a project that is still happening. I think of Eret just occasionally talking about the fun they had on the server, what their plans for their story and them actually acknowledge the existence of their time on the dsmp. Fundy had an interview a few months back and he fully acknowledged that he used clickbait to make it in the mcyt bubble. There are former dsmp creators who acknowledge, express admiration for being on the project and then leave it be. They are few and far between.

More and more I see creators who were in the space are stupidly trying to get the high of 2020-2022. Trying to get to those extreme heights and now they figure that dissing the dsmp as it’s no longer ‘cool’ and ‘popular’ to have any positive thoughts on it. Philza in particular is the one that comes to mind with the ‘i’d rather gauge my eyes out then ever go back the dsmp’ comment which he later went back on like ‘oh I actually had a good time’. I never have appreciated any of the comments considering my favorite person from the dsmp often talked about how much he enjoyed playing on it. How he died not thinking he wouldn’t be able to finish his storyline but he did. The storyline he started became buried in the sands of the dsmp.

Techno’s legacy as a member of the dsmp is one that had a great impact on so many people who now don’t even have that. The creators who decided clout was worth more than being able to be able to communicate with each other.

Complain all you want about Dream’s ‘lack of communication’ but it seems now knowing about the fuck show that has been about any fucking drama that has happened in the past year, everyone of these fuckers can’t fucking communicate.

Now creator want come back pretending to have enjoyed the project and now their fans are being annoying about how much they thought it ‘could have been so much better if x,y,z’ and really it’s their creator’s fault. It’s their own fault for not just realizing that they may have not actually enjoyed the dsmp. The fans are the reason the dsmp was dead. Because to dteam+munchymc fans we desperately miss the dsmp. Techno fans do too. The fans of the dsmp are not the ones that are coming back, it’s the ones that stayed.

I just am having so many issues with the current ‘dsmp discourse’ and it stems from idiots being idiots.

[jaskierx]

[CW for discussion of severe mental illness (PTSD) and suicide]

I want to add my perspective to the conversation about canyon people picking and choosing which disability rep is worth telling. It’s really offensive to me because I’m mentally disabled so it feels like these people are glossing over the mental illness rep in the show.

I hesitate because i do not want to seem like I’m chastising people for acknowledging the physical disability rep. OFMD has better physical disability rep than any show I’ve seen, while I’ve seen many shows with mentally ill characters. I also do not want to give credit where credit is not due, because ultimately these characters don’t have any diagnosed mental disabilities. However, I don’t think that that subtracts from the representation because 1)the show obviously takes place before many mental health diagnoses that we have now did,2) even if those diagnoses did exist, the crew would not be able to access them, and 3) I think the show is clearly trying to tell us that characters are suffering from PTSD, or at the very least struggling to process a traumatic event, they just don’t have the words to describe it as such.

Many characters exhibit what would today be classified as symptoms of a psychiatric disorder. In this fandom we often joke about that, especially Ed’s (which is more than okay), but I also want to appreciate the way that season 2 deals with the trauma of the kraken era. They freak out and have flashbacks over blindfolds and birthday cakes because of what they’ve been through. They have interpersonal conflicts due to differing ways of processing the trauma and not seeing eye to eye on each others own unique experience (Lucius and Pete come to mind). Lucius takes up smoking to cope with the pain. Ed dissociates (I think, because he doesn’t remember wanting to have a talent show) and is literally suicidal, first passively (“you mean curl up into a ball and die?”) and then actively (the whole storm thing). He also turns to using drugs to self medicate.

Anyway sorry for the novel I just wanted to add my perspective because this show means a lot to me as someone who’s mentally disabled and I want to know if anyone else with a mental disability feels the same/differently.

no don't apologise this is a really good point!

i've posted about it a few times and so has glam and several other people whose links i don't have to hand but the depiction of ed's mental illness and his suicidality is fucking spot on and the show absolutely deserves all the praise it gets for that

especially because it's quite possibly the first show i've ever seen that depicts suicidality in a way that manages to be accurate without being pitying and manages to be hopeful without romanticising the issue. the show brings ed to his lowest point and then shows him being helped to come back from that by people who love him. it tells us that there's always a way for things to get better and that you can get there by yourself but it's easier if you have help, and it tells us that this help is available because there is always going to be someone waiting for you even if you doubt that. it never shows ed as 'cured'. it never shows stede being angry with ed for his symptoms. when lucius suggests that ed might just be 'broken', stede very quickly shuts him down and the show makes it clear that the narrative is on stede's side here.

and all of this just doesn't get brought up by izzy stans. discussion of mental illness portrayal tends to be one of the following:

ignoring ed's arc altogether to focus on izzy's suicide attempt and his 'i want to go' line while he's on his deathbed (and in a massively different place to where he was in s2e2) and using this to pretend that the show's message is 'disabled queer people deserve to die' (yes unfortunately this is a take i have seen with my own two eyes)

writing ed's arc off as an example of 'magic dick' and using this to pretend that he was fine as soon as he got stede back

ignoring ed's arc completely and instead insisting that he's a violent serial killer and abuser with anger issues who traumatised the crew and will inevitably physically abuse stede and kill all their inn's customers

ignoring all portrayals of mental illness completely because they will deliberately downplay the disability of every other disabled character in order to centre izzy

the canyon will bend over backwards to centre izzy and to view the entire show through a lens where he is their longsuffering protagonist who can do no wrong and it's led them to ignore so much of what makes the show great

[lemotmo]

https://x.com/buddieonair/status/1799875538519003370

What do you think about this ?

I…kinda have to agree. Like I’m already a little iffy going into season 8 because I honestly felt like if nothing massive happened in season 7 then it probably wasn’t going to happen since they had new network, new audience, it was the time to weed out any of the old (old as in everyone who watched it on fox) audience who would have an issue with buddie, get the new audience on board with it etc. Which Bi Buck helped but then nothing else really happened. Are there threads? Yes. But the shows more known for having threads and then just pretending they never existed.

So if after season 8 it’s still not happening then I really do think it’s time for the fandom to accept it’s not going to. Because at this point, the shooting and then breakdown were the perfect set ups for it. And it was such a baffling concept to learn it was shut down and then for us to have to sit here and think how are they going to reach the same level of the shooting and breakdown aftermaths to make it happen again. And they have hit it now with what is probably the only realistic way with what happened by the end of season 7 with the Kim of it all and the Chris of it all. So if they don’t do it now? I really and truly do not think they plan to because there really won’t be any other way to reach those levels for Eddie to look deeper and accept and acknowledge etc.

Hey Nonny! I had already seen this on Twitter and I fully agree with it. The time is now. If they don't start Eddie's journey and eventually Buddie's journey in season 8? I don't think it will ever happen and ABC will have wasted the biggest chance of making history.

A lot of people will be disappointed if that happens and I won't lie, so would I. 6 years of shipping, only for one half of the ship to end up in a lackluster, unsatisfactory and boring relationship and the other half probably shoved into a new nothing relationship again? No, not for me. Thank you. I would retreat to fanon-land where Buddie are happily in love and together.

However, I feel like we have seen plenty in season 7 that is highly promising for season 8. So I really don't think my retirement into fanon-land will be happening anytime soon. :) I have a good feeling about season 8.

It's obvious that they were planning to go all in with Buddie when they thought they would only get one season. The promo was insane. But then they got that renewal and I think they decided right there and then to push Eddie's storyline to season 8, giving them time to prepare it properly. Since we now know that they are already writing season 8, I think they have a chance to really do the storyline justice.

The thing is, when Buck was outed as being bisexual it was a big shock to the general audience. Not to any of us, because we have seen this coming for years now. Buck was always queer-coded and so was Eddie by the way. Even more than Buck in my opinion.

However, Eddie having some sort of queer awakening in the same season? I really think ABC wanted to slow the pace a little. See how the general audience would react with Buck, which didn't turn out to be such a big problem after all. 911 is still leading strongly in viewership.

Another perk of pushing the Eddie storyline to season 8? It gives the story room to breathe and percolate. It will only make the payoff even more satisfactory.

The reason why Tommy was used to out Buck is obvious as well. He's an easy choice. Nobody remembered Tommy from season 1 and there is no emotional attachment to the character. He came into season 7 as an established gay character. When eventually Buck and Tommy break up, not a lot of people of the general audience will actually care about it, because there is no emotional connection to Tommy. He is just a new character they brought in as a narrative device. He will eventually disappear again, maybe showing up once in a while as a friend to Buck.

If they had gone for Eddie, the stakes would have been so much higher, because he is a beloved main character. It was safer to start with Tommy.

Besides, Eddie has so many canon issues with his previous relationships that his story needs more time. With the Vertigo arc (which I hated by the way) he is now in a perfect place to take a good look at himself and his past relationships. He might start comparing all these relationships to what he has with Buck.

Who knows how they are planning this? I just know it has the potential to be so good and satisfying after 6 years of shipping. And the fact that this show will now have a canon queer slow burn? Epic! Something ABC wouldn't want to drop. It's dream promo for a network.

Also, the reason why they never went through with the original storylines was because of FOX. Seeing as ABC has shows like 'Grey's anatomy' which has had many popular queer characters, I really don't think they have told 911 to cut the storyline. I just think it's all about pacing and getting the general audience on board.

Now, all that being said, if season 8 ends up giving us nothing? Sorry for being wrong about this. I humbly apologise. :b

But I don't think I'm wrong though. And a lot of people in this fandom share that conviction.

So yeah, who knows? Buddie season 8? Yep, it's highly possible at this point.

[howlsofbloodhounds]

Can we please get more of canonish Killer & Nightmare in fanfics? Fanon is okay but it’s so overdone and kinda boring now.

Fanon Killermare rarely has anything interesting done about it. The dynamic is just “tsundere Boss Nightmare” and “simp Killer.” Killer never feels like his own character, just there to simp (and I suspect Nightmare simps just use him as a sorta self insert so they can simp for Nightmare through him or something).

Only Nightmare’s trauma is actually acknowledged and never Killer’s. Nor how Nightmare plays a role in it.

The power dynamics inherently baked into their relationship is ignored. And if not ignored, it’s romanticized.

Like, no it is not a good thing that Nightmare falls “in love” with a man who’s soul he can use to physically, mentally, and emotionally control whenever and however he pleases. No Killer will not appreciate that.

No Killer does not like being under Nightmare especially after he worked so hard to get out from under Chara. Nightmare Is Not His King.

Like, can we please acknowledge in fanfics how Nightmare literally took away Killer’s choice to live or not? Can we acknowledge in fanfics how Killer, up until meeting Color, is only alive because Nightmare is forcing him to be?

Can we acknowledge how hopeless he feels under Nightmare? And how Nightmare knows this and doesn’t care?

Can we acknowledge how a part of Killer—stage 1—does not want to be with Nightmare, let alone want to be alive?

I don’t want Killer being in love with Nightmare first. I want Nightmare falling in love with Killer, and Killer not being able to trust that at all.

I want Stage 1 fearing that he’s trying to manipulate him. I want Stage 1 spending this whole “courtship” in disbelief because he legitimately can’t tell if it’s real or not.

I want it to be acknowledged that Nightmare forcing Killer into Stage 2 & staying in it isn’t gonna give him what he wants and will only subconsciously push him further away.

I want Nightmare working to fix himself and his mistakes and actually make it up to Killer. Even if that includes letting Killer go.

Killer deserves to be the one treated with love and care in the Killermare ship for once. He shouldn’t have to be the one who always puts in the work.

Nightmare needs to earn Killer’s loyalty. Not just take it and force it however and whenever he wants.

—-

I’m aware that my version is still toxic, but it doesn’t even have to be something like this. I just want Killer to be his own complex character in fanon Killermare the way Nightmare is allowed to be.

Not only is fanon Killermare boring and repetitive, it never acknowledges Killer as his own person. It never acknowledges his backstory or how he was created, nor his emotionlessness.

Nightmare is allowed to not know what a healthy romantic relationship is, but Killer is somehow expected to know these things even though he spent years being tortured until he broke and was created into something new—and that new something was used to kill people—his friends and family—for years and years?

Stop pretending Nightmare is Killer’s King. He isn’t nor would Killer ever accept him as that. He worked so hard to gain some autonomy over his existence and y’all want to shove him under Nightmare and pretend like he’ll willingly accept it? Why is Killer never allowed to explore his existence and found out who he is as a person?

It’s just simp, simp, simp, loyal, loyal, flirt, flirt, with y’all.

No hate on those who ship this, but fanon Killermare can be a lot more than what it is now and I hate that it isn’t.

[itssmean]

𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 (𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒂) 𝒕𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓

track 18 ; does the plan goes well? (750 words)

SYNOPSIS new upcoming app called ‘love alarm’ will be launched ! but it need to be tested before the official launching date, so what ifs the well known enemies— lee chanyoung and park y/n are the one that gonna be the app beta users? does the love between them gonna ring?

“Hanni asked us to go to her practice room later. She said she wants to show us something. Do you actually have any plans later on?” Yuna beamed while interlinking her arms with Y/N’s.

Both of them wander around the campus to unwind themselves after the 3-hours lectures which obviously no one actually pays attention to— well, it’s also almost the time for Yuna to take action according to their plan! All of them are also betting on what kind of scenario will happen after the victims (Anton and Y/N) meet each other in the clubroom—which almost costs 60 bucks each. (definitely not sunoo’s idea!)

Without Y/N knowing, Yuna leads her to the campus community club building without making it obvious. On the other hand, Y/N hummed for a while before answering, “Well Taesan asked me to meet him for a bit after this. I think I can go there later on after meeting him.”

Yuna pouted at the answer and swayed her arms, “You can go to meet him after we go to Hanni first. Can you ask him to meet you later then? Please,,” Y/N contemplated for a while but then just nodded. “I will text him later then. Well, I don’t think I am ready to meet him after I kinda figured out that he likes me.”

“Hmm, are you afraid that he will confess to you? Well you can just straight up say you like someone else.” suggests Yuna and the other girl seems disgruntled. “I am also afraid of getting rejected. How can I reject someone? What if he also has the same disease as me?”

Yuna hummed and suddenly she frowned while clutching into her stomach. “Wait Y/N, nature is calling me. Wait for me a bit will you? I need to go! IT’S FUCKING EMERGENCY.” Without further explanation, Yuna went into the bathroom to do her.. deeds!

Y/N stared for a while at the wall where Yuna was leaning at that moment before THE nature called her— and she’d shrugged while unlocking her phone to send a message to Taesan to acknowledge him about her delayed arrival. Suddenly, her phone rang which made her frowned— who’s here?

“Oh, Y/N what are you doing there?”

“Taesan..? I’m just about to text you that I will be late.” She looked up to the tall boy who’s smiling while running towards her. “Oh, then how about I’ll settle down right now?” He suggests. Nah, this is the thing she’s scared of the most. She contemplated for a while before responding to the boy. Shortly after that, her phone suddenly rang again.

“Y/N…?”

Then there’s Seunghan and the boy that she also did not expect the most to be there— Lee Chanyoung. The latter boy looked confused as ever while looking through his phone which also rang— the same as her. The girl who figured out that the boy’s phone rang because of her cursed internally at the sight of her sister’s boyfriend wiggling his eyebrows watching both of them.

Taesan, who's also there watching both Y/N and Chanyoung look at each other without saying anything, makes him connect the dots— he smiles bitterly at the sight. “Well Y/N, I think—“

“Uhm, Taesan! Before you say anything, I want to say that— my heart rang towards someone. Which I think you can kinda figure out since we are the beta users of the app? I really adore you as a good friend and I hope you will find your match later on. The red strings of fate exist, you know? See you tomorrow in the class then.” she cuts him off with her heaving heart watching Taesan just fake smiling and nodded. “I kinda figured it out. See you tomorrow Y/N.”

She sighed after seeing Taesan walked away pretended nothing happened there. Anton who’s just processed what actually happened blushing at the thought that Y/N actually likes him. the love alarm rang? she said her heart rang towards someone? is it actually me? oh my—

Without them knowing, Yuna who’s just finished her business gagged after seeing the drama that just happened— how many chapters that she missed? On the other hand, Seunghan squealed internally when Y/N came towards him and Anton. Anton’s eyes widened as the girl kept motioning forwards to him until both of them are eye to eye.

“Now let’s be a man, shall you Lee Chanyoung? Do you have anything to say after everything that just happened?”

track 17 / track 18 / track 19

an | most likely this series will be finished by next week (hope so..?)

taglist is open!

@kyusqult @babigriin @brachioswrld @dinosluver @rksbae @ilovejungwonandhaechan @bunni @kcharlyy @planethyuka @leehanascent @dodot04lover

[jewish-vents]

Just left r/Jewish because everyone there decided to get pissy that non-Ashkenazi Jews have a word to describe the intracommunity problems we face. The Columbia definition is bullshit, it fetishises non-Ashkenazim and demonises Ashkenazim and twists the idea of ashkenormativity into some sort of racism thing rather than what it really is— the neglect and looking down of on non-Ashkenazi Jews and Judaism (especially in Israel where we’ve been fucked over for decades, I love my family’s country but it’s still terrible). Yeah, that’s fucking gross and I hate it too, probably more than these people. But I’m just so fucking tired of so many Ashkenazim acting like non-Ashkenazim have always had it so amazing and there’s never been any problems ever with us not being treated well

‘Stop trying to divide the community! We’re all Jews after all, right?’ Well if you motherfuckers actually saw us as equal Jews, and if you didn’t try to divide the community by neglecting and looking down on us, then we wouldn’t be trying to have this conversation

‘Well it’s just natural for this to happen in countries like America. Ashkenazim are obviously going to be centred when they’re the majority!’ Okay, so Jews are just under 0.2% of the world— this clearly means that we should be completely ignored, until we’re brought up for the sole purpose of being mocked. Oh wait, that already happens, and every Jew is fucking angry about it! But we shouldn’t be, because the non-Jews are just the majority, it’s natural for them to be centred. And ashkenormativity isn’t just about Ashkenazi stuff being centred— it’s Ashkenazi stuff being centred at the expense of non-Ashkenazim

‘Well I’ve never seen ashkenormativity before!’ YEAH WELL THAT’S BECAUSE YOU STICK YOUR FINGERS IN YOUR EARS AND SHOUT ‘BUT WE’RE ALL JUST JEWS’ EVERY TIME WE TRY TO BRING ATTENTION TO IT

At the very best we get our history completely ignored. At the worst they tell us it was actually amazing, and ‘no, Dhimmi status was good actually’. At the very best we get shut out whenever ‘Jewish culture’ is brought up. At the worst our customs, languages, and way of Judaism is completely mocked. At the very fucking best our existence gets completely ignored, and at the worst we’re told that we’re not actual fucking Jews

If you can acknowledge that the Samech Tet were incredibly discriminatory to Ashkenazim (well, they looked down on all Jewish groups, but were fucking AWFUL to Ashkenazim), then you should be able to acknowledge Ashkenormativity is a real thing. But no, all these people ever do is shut it out and pretend that we’re trying to cause trouble by bringing it up

I’m so tired. Everyone hates us already, I don’t have the energy for my own fucking people pulling this bullshit. All I want to do is sleep now honestly

I'm half Ashkenazi and half Mizrahi, and I see ashkenormativity all the time, from both sides of my family actually.

this is something I've seen time and time again in different communities, actually. a minority that is being oppressed as a sub-minority that's oppressed by both the majority and the second half of the minority, and asks for respect from their peers only to be told they're dividing the community by not pretending to be a unified wholesome family because the oppressors will use it as an excuse to call the entire minority evil.

the more privileged of the minority are scared that if the oppressors see any problems in their community, they'd point their finger and call them evil, so they want to pretend like they're perfect little angels and that nothing is wrong, and silences their own minority to not speak of their struggles living in the community. Columbia's definition of Ashkenormativity is treated as a "white supremacy but Jewish" and used to demonize ashkenazi jews as if the term is proof that all Jews are white oppressors and the poc Jews are suffering under their iron fist and never had any form of rights, when in reality, Ashkenazim are the privileged group the same way every country has a privileged group, and it's important to address and combat it.

we should always talk about problems inside our community, even if goyim will try to take it and twist it to justify their hate.

- 🐬

[chuuya-fan-page]

yeeeaaaah, the minute I saw that tiktok was referring to sigma as “she/her” I knew it was going to be full of takes based on a bastardization of canon. like no shade or disrespect to anyone who does use those pronouns for sigma, i don’t get why but that’s not my business, but the facts are that if you’re dealing explicitly and unbiasedly with what actually is canon, which this tiktok pretends it is, then the facts are that that’s just not canon. acting like it is, tells me that this person has their own idea of what canon is and it’s not an accurate picture

Headcanons are all well and good, I am fully for any and all pronouns for Sigma honestly, but like you said, that user is merging their headcanons with canon, they are not stepping back to view Sigma without the lens they have imposed on him. And we see that their interpretation is suffering because of this.

BSD is something that has to be viewed without bias sometimes, because if you ignore the characters you hate or dismiss relationships because you prefer other ones, you are not going to get the full picture.

Some examples of this is that the BSD fandom hates Mori so much, which comes from a fair place of disgust at his actions, but it's to the point that they ignore him entirely, and refuse to acknowledge his existence, which is a terrible decision given that he is one of the smartest, most powerful (in terms of status) and knowledgeable character in BSD.

Another example is that some Soukoku shippers will prioritise Dazai and Chuuya's relationships with one another over other's that are just as important, such as Chuuya and the Flags, or Dazai and Odasaku, which leads to an interpretation of them that makes them seem codependent and isolated from others. Even the inverse happens, where Soukoku antis will refuse to admit that Dazai and Chuuya have a canon, platonic partnership based on trust and years of working together, a bond that is deeply important for both of their characters.

I've found I enjoy BSD more when I look at it from an unbiased lens. Of course you can have favourites and characters you hate, god knows I do (Ace you slimy motherfucker, I'm coming for you and your hairline), but you should allow yourself to explore the entire world, investigate the characters you dislike; you might find yourself liking what's below the surface, acknowledge the relationships that aren't romantic but are still important. Look at the entirety of BSD, because Asagiri is frankly a genius, and his worldbuilding and character development are some of the best and most beautifully crafted examples I've ever seen.

-T

[animentality]

Can I just say as a lesbian with a lesbian Durge - when it comes to Gortash I imagine that she and him were absolutely inseparable besties. They absolutely meant the world to each other and loved each other, but platonically. I still love them and the insane ride or die bestfriendship dynamic I imagine for them. And then I also have a gay dude Durge, the default dragonborn, and I ship him with Gortash. So, two Durges, two timelines, two perfectly valid interpretations of the relationship based on in-game evidence, and zero issues. It is really not that difficult!

(People might as well complain “what about my lesbian Tav” in response to all the Astarion/Tav shipping like. Lol. So I don’t understand how anyone is trying to make the relative popularity of Durgetash amongst people with gay or bi Durges a point of general contention tbh. More likely someone is just annoyed by the ship but couldn’t just say that and had to make up discourse about it.)

Anyway, the elephant in the room is this. Won’t someone PLEASE think of the poor straight man Durges? Forced into homosexuality with Gortash, by all 10 Durgetash shippers on the internet??? How will they ever recover?????

ANON, you hit the nail on the head.

They just don't like Gortash. And I don't CARE. I know most people DON'T.

None of my friends get it at ALL. But they're still my friends.

I think Dark Urge fans are just in smaller supply than regular Tavs, so you take Dark Urge content wherever you can...and it just so happens, that Durgetash fans are highly active.

And they're just disgruntled because they want us to obsess with THEIR OCs, like bro, come on now.

We all get to play with our own OCs here. The Dark Urge is just an origin.

No one said your lesbian Durge had to do anything. No one ever put a gun to your head and said, love Enver.

Imagine your OC kissing him.

Ugh. I hate Twitter discourse.

It's a bunch of "unpopular take but-" and then followed by the most popular take in existence.

No one but a small fringe group of lunatics likes Gortash.

Just leave us alone and chill the fuck out.

Go attack Astarion girlies for making tav a straight woman every time.

Also, anon, about your lesbian durge...that's the beauty of durgetash.

It's subtle in the game, so if you want to pretend they weren't hooking up...then they weren't hooking up.

It's literally so subtle, most people just don't notice it.

All you have to acknowledge is, they once worked together.

You don't have to imagine them banging if you don't want to.

They could, simply be, simply roommates.

So I don't get the hand wringing and the pearl clutching.

The game is soooo milquetoast on confirming canon behaviors from both the dark urge and tav anyway, that you could straight up headcanon just about anything, and have it make sense.

in fact, i wish durgetash WAS more prominent, so as you said, the majority straight male audience of bg3 who plays the dark urge would be forced to confront their character being a little bicurious, lmao.

[mihai-florescu]

i think i feel pretty similar to you in that the world is terrible, depressing, it sucks. that’s it’s natural state and we will always return there. but i thank that even though it hurts there are ideals unhampered by reality, stories we can create where that cycle ends for a moment in a happier direction. it isnt our job or duty as there isnt any grand purpose like that, but there is an opportunity out there to create a story with our lives. whether it’s a well known story or lost by the wayside, those who acknowledge the layer beneath the cheery “reality” that is peddled can be writers of their own. i might be delusional and there really is no hope but i hope to create stories for people to enjoy that elusive dream in if only for a temporary respite and cant give up until i well and truly fail. i don’t know if any of my thoughts speak to you in any meaningful way, but i felt compelled to share as while i think we share beliefs we seem to have come to rather different conclusions. i want to give my life to a story, an art, that will hold ideals the real world can never truly embody and thus cannot really give up as every taste of the real reality only strengthens my resolve. is there something like that for you? i’ve read your blog for a while and in my mind (which is an inexperienced mind so I apologize for sharing its fallible perceptions) you seemed like a fascinating person who holds ideals the world refuses to embody and is slowly sinking under that weight. i know it’s not really my place, so i apologize for my audacity, but i believe that you are the sort of person who can create a true happiness for yourself eventually. well, i mean i kind of have to if i believe that for myself. i have more to say, but it seems this is become a ridiculously long message. i apologize, my words likely have crossed between ideas and lost sense at times. i hope they help, or at least don’t harm. i hope you find loveliness loveliness in your day as you deserve it.

I've been journaling about this yesterday... my entire outlook on life i guess? I know i used to be creative and make projects that i found fun, but i cant find this drive in me anymore, i'm more than ready to give up (if only upset at the way it ended so im pressuring myself to make a good Last Project, but nothing is good anymore. It's all so...plain. useless. banal. there's no wit or multilayer to anything i can come up with anymore. I cant develop an idea anymore. There are enough stories, enough artworks, plenty of them bad, theres no need for me to add to it). Im sure it's just burnout stacked on top of depression and general worsening misanthropy and paranoia, but i don't think i will ever feel more hopeful again.

However i do think art, literature, games, even just stories from other people are keeping me grounded. They're also humanity's only redeeming quality - imagination will save our souls... but my position isn't to be an artist anymore, i cant spare the energy and i dont see a point in it either. I cant do a single basic living thing anymore that others seem to be able to do? I very much feel like an npc trying to do my most necessary tasks as best i can, failing more often than not. I hate getting asked what i'll do on a day off (it used to be often at my internship. I dont even want to imagine what they thought about me, that's another can of worms that still haunts me and contributed to why i became like this). The answer is quite literally Pretend I Dont Exist. I will not do anything. I cant do anything. I stop existing the second you stop seeing me, im just in bed dreading the next time i have to be human. I think when other people say they didnt do anything it's a hyperbole, but i can go weeks, and i have gone months even, without leaving the house, if i wasnt expected to.

Part of me wants to think, hope, i could maybe even get interested in making things again if there was no expectation for me to be a person for a few years, completely disappear off the grid (the expectation to be a person that just doesnt come natural to me anymore... and a specific one at that - achieving goals and moving forward, working, with ambitions or any sort of drive, young and energetic, an only child with a good education earning a living... i despise the idea of making money. I despise consumerism too. I want to fund artists, family owned restaurants, bookshops, cafes, and i do, i spend so much money without realising, but i'm really worried i'll run out and not be able to make any to survive once im older and wont get funds from my parents anymore. So i try to save and fail... My family friends, same age or even younger, are buying their own cars and apartments, successfully working multiple well paying jobs at the same time, with plans for the future...? Id like to know both how and why. How do you have the energy and why do you care. But even if they tell me the answers it doesnt change how i feel in my own life)

But this also has skewed my perception of other people... it connects to how i dont actually understand friendships anymore, im sure i mentioned it recently. Like with being an artist, there was a time i did understand and had deep friendships, i think, but it's quite alien to me now? In the way im not real until i have to interact with someone else, and even then, debatable, theyre not real to me either. Like i know this isnt a good mindset to have but it's either everything is real and i genuinely believe we need to disappear, to put an end to this sad species soon, or nothing is real and everyone's just playing a role in a story i get to watch. In a way taking away people's humanity and making them characters in my head is out of kindness, im being delusionally optimistic and quite frankly parasocial even with "friends", but it keeps me floating, stable. Ish. Still kind of empty but entertained enough. But then actually having a conversation outside my head with them is scary, unpredictable... on good days that can be fun too. My roommate always says i end up on side quests a lot if i leave the house, i think im just open to witnessing new stories... just on good, no, great days though, i cant stress that part enough. Great days are getting rarer and rarer. Most days pass by while im in bed and in my head trying to process anything, where i can barely have a coherent thought, and i wait for the day to end. Today was good for example but i still didnt manage to do anything to earn me the title of person, yet it was good because i 1. Ate, and 2. Didnt cry.

The part of your ask that hit me the most was when you said i seemed like a fascinating person, past tense. Im sure i was, but nowadays im very little even a person. Cant be helped. I hope i managed to explain how and why. If you ever want to share your art, my dms are open, i can maybe tell you about my gallery of failure wips i cant stand to look at anymore. I saw the followup ask with your personal info but im not quite sure what else to say... even this ask took too long to answer and now i need a nappp

[finitevoid]

The problem is that it’s entirely metatextual. uma, the character, does not share any dialogue with carlos, the character. I’m not sure they ever even really acknowledge each others existence, beyond the fact that they are aware of each other. uma is an antagonist and carlos is, ultimately, a side character of minor note. the only reason uma was chosen for this scene is because china ann mcclain is, quite literally, one of 3 returning actors. of the returning actors, she is the best choice to manufacture a connection between her and carlos. I think it’s indicative of something that they are so bereft of connection to the prior movies that they have to go out of their way to hallucinate an understanding between uma and carlos that didn’t exist. All of the people who played characters who loved carlos have pointedly abstained from even acknowledging that this movie exists. so we just get to watch china ann mcclain pretend to cry while stock music swells in the background

Ok, so who is this for? the children watching this movie, ages 7-12, probably do not know who cameron boyce was. the teens watching this movie might, but with the last descendants film having come out a quick 5 years ago, it’s not fresh in their minds. people who were teens when d3 came out are now adults. what is this scene serving, exactly? What is it adding? How is it relevant, to anyone? I mean, it’s relevant to me, and more generally to us, but how much is the average viewer of this movie going to know about cameron boyce & his art?

so in a movie that has so little connection to its franchise’s prior installments that it has an entirely new cast, completely rewrites the canon, fucks indiscriminately with the lore, and pointedly doesn’t reference the events of the prior movies at all… still makes a point to reference a character who’s absence would not be felt. not by its audience, not by its characters, and not by its worldbuilding…

Its metatext. It exists to satisfy an arbitrary real world grief requirement. put an awkward photo of carlos de vil in a gaudy picture frame, hang it on the wall and play sad music. one of cameron boyce’s last roles dies with him.

I don’t know. I’m sympathetic to the fact that there’s no winning here. Don’t reference carlos, people get mad. Reference him being alive, people get mad. Reference him being dead, people (me) get mad (weird on my tumblr blog). it’s just such a jagged portrayal. In a movie so desperate for personal identity that it scrubs itself of its previous canon, it grinds itself backwards to make a cursory nod to a real life loss of life. I find it more vexing than anything.

at the same time, like, this didn’t have to be a descendants movie. Just call it something else. We can have more weird crossover shit involving stupid disney heroes having offspring. It’s fine. It would’ve been fine. would’ve run the risk of selling less merchandise, maybe, but it wouldn’t have been a movie with identity problems worse than my closeted gender situation. And it wouldn’t have had the unfortunate baggage of one of the most beloved rising acting stars passing away just after finishing the last movie.

I think it’s indicative, somewhat, of the motivations of the people making this movie that the main cast’s wishes for the franchise to be over have been summarily ignored. Cameron Boyce’s wish to move on from descendants into more adult work will never be fulfilled, so I guess it’s a twisted kind of irony that disney has insisted on making the last franchise he worked on a shambling reanimated corpse.

I have never personally mourned this man, because I didn’t know him, but somehow it all just feels. Strange. Maybe we should let his legacy live on, as it was when he passed? Maybe we should let the art he graced us with, in life, speak for itself as in memoriam of him. or I guess we can watch china ann mcclain stiffly cry while stock music swells. Whatever