#q's journal

[quuma]

i feel like everyone and their mother has spoken about this before but james potter is 100% the biggest puppy bf i've ever witnessed in literature !! like bro has MAXIMUM puppy dog stats

he's the kind of bf to INSIST UPON carrying your textbooks/bags for you and escort you to your classes class,,, like he would literally REFUSE to not do either of them,,, he gets so worked up about it that it's actually kind of pathetic (in a cute way),,,

you wouldnt even be able to carry them for 5 mins in his presence before he's scooping them out of your arms ("james i quite obviously have two perfectly functioning hands just let me hold my books pls" and his completely serious response would be "but im your bf??? and my hands are also free rn??? it's literally my job to hold your books just stfu and let me")

continuing the escorting headcanon he always ends up having to sprint to off to try and make it to his own class in time BDAHBFDH as soon as you retreive your books and walk into the classroom you try to look back and thank him,,, but there's literally just a cartoonish cloud of smoke where he stood not even 5 seconds prior (he insists that it's a good warmup for his quiddich practice)

he's also the kinda bf to literally SHOVE himself in front of you to beat you to the door, just so he can open it, dramatically wave his hand, bow, and say something cringey like "for you, my lady/liege" (BARF THATS SO CUTE IM LITERALLY GOING TO THROW UP)

OMG ALSO HE'S JUST INSANELY OBSERVANT WHEN IT COMES TO YOU????? to the point where it would be considered creepy if it wasnt james,, yknow?? there was definitely a time where upon meeting you at the door of the potions class you just finished (yes he is flushed, out of breath and sweating,,, no, he isnt going to admit that he sprinted from his C.F.M.C class 5mins early to make sure he met you at the door in time) and he does a double take and looks genuinely concerned before saying "???? pookie??? what happened to your hair???? did you do something different?? it looks different from when i saw you this morning !! D:" queue you responding with "?? wtf? i cut off a singular strand of hair for one of the potions how the actual fuck did you notice that??"

he is so babygirl i love it

i swear im not even a james stan but i can't help but ramble abt his bbygirlness

hes such a puppy dog bf

he just has the biggest heart eyes for you bro ( -3-) follows you around like a lost puppyyyyy

you dont just have him wrapped around your finger - you have him tattooed and superglued onto you istg

[mailb0xbunii]

beach day with abuelito and chayanne ^_^ !!!!

[soracities]

Nothing is real except the present, and already, I feel the weight of centuries smothering me. Some girl a hundred years ago once lived as I do. And she is dead. I am the present, but I know I, too, will pass. The high moment, the burning flash, come and are gone, continuous quicksand.

Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals Of Sylvia Plath: 1950-1962 (ed. Karen V. Kukil)  

[honeytearays]

3/1/2024

A colorful day in Tokyo 🌿

My Instagram

[externalmemorycomic]

Thanks @mrrrl !!!

[la-la-lavandee]

lunararthouse

[Image ID: two gifs of a person showing a handmade leather journal. On the front is a decoration of a crescent moon in front of the sun with an eye in the center on a blue backdrop with golden circles and stars. On the back is a sun shaped opening that also shows a blue background and a crescent moon on the same pattern of golden circles. The sun on the front of the journal can be slid upwards, revealing a compartment that hides the key to unlock the journal. End ID.]

[femmefatalevibe]

i feel like i don't have an ideal self

any tips?

Hi love! Sharing some resources below:

Cultivate your personal brand (Start HERE) and try out this exercise

Learn how to communicate effectively (Start with my Communication Playbook and guide to master your written communication skills)

Put yourself first (Create healthy habits like the ones I suggest HERE, establish and uphold your boundaries, make your expectations known, set goals and create a realistic plan of action to achieve them, and engage in regular self-care activities/rituals)

Practice self-regard in every aspect of life (here's my cheatsheet)

Educate yourself on topics you're interested in, pertaining to your career field/industry, current events, and other subjects that would be intriguing to others at dinner parties

Decide that you're worth it and make it your mission to cultivate unshakable confidence

Invest in your appearance (style, skincare, hair, nails, makeup routine, diet/exercise)

Make an effort to make peace with your past, see how it influences your present, and reflect on how these data points can help you set your future self up to win

Consider every interaction (written, verbal, self-reflecting, interpersonal, etc.) as a practice in the art of seduction

Sharing some reflective journal prompts HERE.

[uldahstreetrat]

someone needs to bully me into writing tomorrow afternoon if you see me getting on xiv throw a rock at me

[tinyq]

This year's bullet journal theme is Bells Hells. Here's what I have so far. :)

[quuma]

『 (ℕ𝕆𝕋 𝕊𝕆) 𝕌ℕℝ𝔼ℚ𝕌𝕀𝕋𝔼𝔻 𝕃𝕆𝕍𝔼 : 』

𝘪𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘶𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭, 𝘺𝘦𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘳𝘦𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥, 𝘯𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘴𝘶𝘣𝘵𝘭𝘦.

𝘾𝙒: 𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙗𝙡𝙮 𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙊𝙊𝘾, 𝙡𝙤𝙩𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙨𝙩 (𝙚𝙭𝙘𝙚𝙥𝙩 𝘿𝙚𝙪𝙘𝙚’𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙗𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙮 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙝𝙪𝙧𝙩/𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙩 𝙡𝙢𝙖𝙤 𝙞 𝙘𝙖𝙣’𝙩 𝙝𝙪𝙧𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙤𝙪𝙨 𝙗𝙤𝙮 𝙩𝙤𝙤 𝙢𝙪𝙘𝙝).

𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨; 𝘫𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭, 𝘢𝘤𝘦, 𝘥𝘦𝘶𝘤𝘦, + 𝘬𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘮 !!

[PART 2; 𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨; 𝘫𝘢𝘥𝘦, 𝘫𝘢𝘤𝘬, 𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘷𝘦𝘳 !!]

˜”*°• ˜”*°• ♥ 𝙉𝙊𝙏𝙀; 𝙤𝙢𝙜 𝙬𝙤𝙬 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩’𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨??? 𝙏𝙪𝙢𝙗𝙡𝙧 𝙪𝙨𝙚𝙧 𝙦𝙪𝙪𝙢𝙖 𝙞𝙨 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙖𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙖 𝙢𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙝 𝙤𝙛 𝙧𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙤 𝙨𝙞𝙡𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚 (𝙗𝙚𝙨𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙩 𝙡𝙢𝙖𝙤)?? 𝙮𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙧 𝙮𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙧 >:) 𝙖𝙡𝙨𝙤 𝙝𝙖𝙝𝙖 𝙣𝙤 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙞 𝙩𝙤𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙙𝙣’𝙩 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙞𝙙 𝙙𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖 𝙨𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙤𝙡 𝙛𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙡𝙚 𝙬𝙙𝙮𝙢- ♥•°*”˜.•°*”˜

oh also this is unedited to don’t expect good grammar lolol

♥---------------------------------------------------------------------------♥

The one to reject you harshly, stating how he sees you as nothing more than a fellow student - an acquaintance at most. You’re mere companions, how could he ever feel for you more? Yes, he’s grateful for your assistance with the various overblots rampaging one after another within the school, but there’s nothing deeper than that to it. 

But when he turns away from you, oh how his heart aches and his tongue burns from the lies that had spilled from his lips. He has always been told that he has a venomous tongue, and now his mouth foams with swallowed poison. 

Oh, how he does feel for you. The love he feels runs deep in his bones, has crawled through the thick layers of his skin and nestled itself into the corner of his heart and soul, forever watching over him, forever a part of him. That part of him yearns for your touch, for your embrace, for your time. But he knows that it cannot be his. He is far too unworthy, far too tainted to be able to fully wrap himself in the holy embrace of your affection. 

He has already gorged himself on the affection of your gaze alone for far too long - he cannot do so for any longer. He will never truly be full, but the sin of gluttony is not one that he has been granted permission to embrace. So, instead, he will simply allow the threads of your relationship to unravel themselves, until he and your heart are no longer intertwined. (And yet, why can’t he help but yearn for a chance to hold onto this selfishness - to grab the threads, and twist them around his neck until he can no longer breathe; until the air in his lungs is replaced with you?)

JAMIL.

The one to never outright admit to knowing, but you can still tell. You can tell by the way he begins to pull away - the way he no longer finds reasons to do the little things with you. He no longer barges into Ramshackle Dorm when he’s upset with Riddle, he no longer throws eraser residue at the side of your face to grab your attention during class. Eventually, he’s just never there - a mere wisp of shadows every time you turn to look at him. But, honestly, what did you even expect? He’s notorious for his ghosting abilities, so why would you ever stop to think that you would be treated any different? Yet, you still can’t help but yearn to gaze upon him once more.

But he never truly meant to pull away from you. He’s a runner - he runs from anything that he can avoid; including his feelings. How could he ever accept the idea of falling in love with anyone - let alone one of his best friends? He doesn’t understand his feelings, nor does he want to. So, he runs, and runs, and runs, until he’s no longer around you; until he no longer feels that disgusting tingling sensation that ran through his body whenever you were near. But now, as he lies on his bed, surrounded only by the sound of Deuce obnoxiously snoring from the other side of their dorm room, he can’t help but let his mind run wild. Amongst his rapid thoughts - one stands out most; “Why does his skin feel so wrong without the tingling he once despised?”

ACE.

The one to subtly let you down. Not because he doesn’t love you, no - because he doesn’t believe that he is good enough for you. Yes, you know of his past, and you’ve been a first hand witness to the immense efforts that he’s put into improving, but he can’t help but think you’d be better off with another. Or, at least better off until he’s finally become a man that he's proud of - until he becomes a man worthy of your affection. (If only he could have realised that he was already worthy of all the love the world could ever offer.) Nights spent on calls with his mother always end with him rambling about you, you, you. She always interrogates him in regards to why the two of you aren’t dating already, and he has no answer besides the fact that both of you are still too busy with studies (and overblots - but he doesn’t dare to tell his mother about that. He couldn’t bear to make her worry for him any more than she already does.) These calls are always followed by hours spent staring at his ceiling, fantacising about what life with you could be like with you, what it would be like to hold you in his arms as lovers, and - if he allows himself to get too deep into his fantasies - what it would be like to take you on a date, to hold your hand, and to kiss you. With the encouragement from his mother, he decides that he will one day ask you to be his - but only once he’s ready. He just selfishly hopes that you don’t move on before he has the chance to. 

DEUCE.

The one to not even realise his feelings until it’s too late. He can’t even begin to comprehend the notion of you holding feelings for him - or he for you - until you’ve pulled away from him completely; until you’re entirely gone. Those weeks, months that you spent subtly leaving him - letting him touch you less, ending conversations quicker, always talking about how you need to go study with Grimm - none of that was noticed until you were no longer there, until the only indication that you were ever there was the lingering scent of you. Now all he’s left with is the fantasies that run throughout his mind every night; fantasies of what could have been, of what he was too blinded by other extravagant events to see, of what he’s never going to get back. On most nights, he isn’t even plagued by dreams - instead, it’s questions. Questions that haunt him for weeks on end. Questions that all end up surrounding one topic; you. “What could I have done? How could I have not noticed sooner? Why did it all go wrong? Why is this effecting me so much?” It’s on one of those nights that he realises why, and his heart breaks in response; he loves you. He loves you, and he’s never going to get you back.

KALIM.

♥---------------------------------------------------------------------------♥

𝘞𝘖𝘞 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘳𝘢𝘮𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘴𝘥𝘥𝘫𝘥𝘬𝘴𝘥𝘫

𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘨𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘑𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭’𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 - 𝘩𝘦’𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘣𝘣𝘺𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭 𝘴𝘰 𝘪 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘴𝘫𝘴𝘫𝘥𝘬𝘴𝘥𝘫

𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘸𝘢𝘺 !! 𝘐 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘦𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘵 !!

𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨/𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 !!

[thejournallo]

It's me who just asked the "I can't enter the void state again" question :)

Nothing new at the moment, but it was the void state, sorry! And it was july 24th :'( - here's an account I took from the time, if it helps <3

"I entered the void! I saw this post, where the anon stated that a problem for them was waiting until they got symptoms to really affirm, and I realized that I did that. I would count forever and often end up falling asleep, or getting symptoms and then not doing anything about it. I decided to change my method. I laid down, put a sub on, and just affirmed. I didn't get any symptoms or anything, but my body went numb so quickly that I didn't even realize it. I had a sudden, seamless transition into the void. One moment I was lying down, affirming, focusing on the backs of my eyelids, and suddenly I was aware I was in the void. I was aware that I was in but I wasn't completely, if that makes sense, like when you're in a dream and you're like "Oh, this is a dream" and conscious but you still can't control yourself. I affirmed for something said something, but I was so out of it inside the void that I have no memory of whatever it was. "

I had one more close call on August 28th, when I nearly entered, and after that until now? Absolutely nothing, not even waking up in it 🤷‍♀️

With this message, you made me remember something!

Someday ago, I was just trying to sleep, so I put brown noises as a background, but I wasn't affirming or visualizing. I was just listening to the brown noises, and I felt my body go numb and my mind relax. The longer I remained in that state, the more I felt like floating. It all ended when I moved because I thought that I was having a sleep paralysis.

All this is to suggest that you, maybe, try listening to void-state subliminals with brown or pink noises and try to feel your body. If the body is the first to relax as quickly as possible, the mind will have a lot more time to go into the void state.

and I think that is normal to not remember; it is like a dream; you have to learn to remember your dreams. (like keeping a log)

Again, I hope I helped, and if you need me, I will be here!

[soracities]

I feel self-repressed again. The old fall disease. Where is my will-power? The Idea of a life gets in the way of my life.

Sylvia Plath, from The Unabridged Journals Of Sylvia Plath: 1950-1962 (ed. Karen V. Kukil)

[honeytearays]

2/12/2024

Ume (梅) blossoms - also known as plum blossoms - in Kyoto, Japan 💮

[externalmemorycomic]

i know you and mouse call each other cat and mouse, but is there more reason why you decided to draw yourself and them as animals? :0

[caitibugzz]

CAITI what's ur book abt can u give us a little sneak peek or hint

my book is going to be super laid back, a mix of my diary and the poetry i write (not the cringe 3am middle school petry) it will be different lessons ive learned through my life growing up as well as unanswered feelings ive felt during times in hopes for people to realize they arent strange for how they feel i hope people will like it! and if not it will just be fun for me to get my thoughts into the world. in the future, i may even look into writing actual stories and novels.. ive only ever written short stories but ive gotten much praise on them!

[femmefatalevibe]

How do you get over someone you haven’t dated?

I’ve found the most productive way to get over someone you’ve never dated is to turn the experience into a self-discovery exercise. Take out a pen and paper or open up a fresh Word document on your computer to journal about the following:

What qualities initially drew you to this person? What about your interactions or observations in their presence made them alluring? 

How do this person’s character, mannerisms, and actions align with the traits you’re looking for in a partner/relationship? Did you uncover new attributes that you never knew you were looking for before when interacting with this person? Write these down and add them to your dating criteria. Refine and elevate your standards. 

Reflect on why you didn’t end up dating – was it a logistical inconvenience, incompatibility in your lifestyle, perspectives, interests, or personalities? Understanding why it didn’t work out can help you better identify your deal breakers and help you mind-map interactions or plan dates/conversation starters in the future. 

Indulge in the fantasy fully in a productive way. Use this practice to satisfy yourself emotionally and enable self-growth from the experience. 

Hope this helps xx