#she created a swear jar for everyone

[penultimatestalematewithdeath]

I like to think that Holly tries not to swear around the others because she doesn’t believe in swearing at her place of work.

This would of course lead to a wonderful moment when Holly screeches “Lucy, contain your FUCKING ghost, I swear to god!” At the top of her lungs one morning when the Skull is being particularly dreadful appearance wise in an unusual location, shocking her into spilling hot tea over herself. George, Lucy, and Lockwood proceed to absolutely lose their shit.

[mllenugget]

Hello I mcyt fandom-ified la Team du Lundi members and wrote a shit ton of text about it

After exhausting myself on trying to catch up on the current QSMP lore I got a sudden craving for a more familiar and fast paced kind of minecraft content and ended up rewatching all the Team du Lundi's SMP best of's I could find

And while doing so with my brain still hazed in fandom brainrot, I started picking up on minor details or info the players casually dropped, and drew parallels to the French speakers' QSMP counterparts This is going to be a long wordy post I don't even know what I am rambling about and for. Three things you need to be aware of about la Team du Lundi before reading :

Baghera, Antoine and Etoiles are the only QSMP players that are part of la Team du Lundi

As far as I remember the only two elements that suggest that la Team du Lundi's SMP could be canon to QSMP are Antoine being pressured into building another Tower of Shit, and Baghera's infamous fountain being mentioned when she was asked if her character remembers anything from her past before the island

La Team du Lundi's SMP was NOT a roleplaying server, it was just a private survival server for a small circle of friends casually playing together. So whenever I quote someone in this specific post, it is the streamer : there is no character other than the persona the streamer is usually showing on stream, but I just thought it would be fun to interpret certain situations while keeping in mind the QSMP lore. And here goes :

Baghera claims that when she was a kid she strongly believed that she could breathe underwater. The others joke about her having fins

Antoine jokingly tells Baghera he doesn’t need oxygen at all

Antoine claims he will still be alive thousands of years forwards

Antoine’s voice shifts when he wants to appear creepy

Baghera built an aquarium at her place, then helped Antoine build one at his tower, then built a giant swimming pool, then a fountain, then a waterslide- do you see a theme ?

Baghera knows that her skin is actually that of a chick and not a duckling, and calls it so here

Chat said that Baghera has a middle child syndrome, justifying that she bullies Angle Droit because Etoiles bullies her in the first place (Etoiles has also called her « little sister » in a derogatory way)

Etoiles has repeatedly asked people to play Valorant with him at least once

Here's a clip of Etoiles getting languaged in french and owing "a gifted sub in the swear jar"

Unrelated random clip of Etoiles because it creates happy hormones in me brain

Etoiles is regularly refered to as "the warrior"

Etoiles guided the whole group during an expedition to the End and he was literally glowing doing so (enchanted arrows effect) Everyone called him "the guide"

Baghera was the one who gave the final blow to the Enderdragon (and died from magic right after)

Etoiles spent most of his time adventuring in order to bring stuff and gear back to everyone for their builds

Etoiles asked Aypierre for help in order to design a redstone door for his cave which could only open upon solving a puzzle (which was egg & arrow related) (Aypierre was not a member of the server)

Etoiles built a nightclub with the walls and ceiling covered in wardenblocks making it look like a starry sky. He also rehomed Allays holding golden apples inside claiming them to be the souls working for him and that they lived there peacefuly

Etoiles jokingly talks about Antoine acting jealous and violent towards him because Etoiles told him he wanted to go and visit Kameto (who also was not a member of the server)

Baghera (along with Horty) had a rivalry with Joueur du Grenier (host of the server with admin powers) after he decided to build a massive parking lot right next to their house. They countered by covering the whole thing with dirt, followed by JDG building a factory and the two parties went back and forth. Baghera argued that it was stupid because they didnt even have cars to begin with (which is a sentence she reused when talking about Forever's roads) Also she tells JDG that he could've built a seaport instead, which makes JDG contemplate the thought of building an airport (and though he ended up never building it, I am side eyeing the French's plane crash)

At some point JDG wonders about what a roleplaying minecraft server would look like (RPZ 2), to which Baghera replies that she has a hard time picturing the thing "We'd all just build things you see ? I don't think we'd create stories, we would all just be like "I'm a builder, ah you too ? Well awesome, builders, cool"" and I find this to be hilariously ironic (fun fact : Baghera had no idea that QSMP was a roleplaying server when she first joined and often claims she would've taken a different approach with her character had she known right off the gate)

As I was finishing to write this down, these fuckers (/lh) decided to host a closure night for the server as they've never really officially did it, everyone just sort of deserted the server after a while. Baghera, Etoiles and Antoine kept referring to QSMP throughout the night, mostly talking about how weird it felt without mods. Among other meta commentary things

They mentionned Cellbit and Bad multiple times as the group was trying to solve enigmas. Antoine talked about "the cultural sharing" between communities as he taught insults to each others with Mike, Roier and Maximus in their respective languages Multiple more players were namedropped (including eggs) while Antoine was talking about how the server functions

Yes, Baghera and Etoiles kept their QSMP skins. Etoiles with his code corrupted purgatory one, and Baghera with her fading pink disheveled hair (with the addition of her cubito wearing Horty's merch)

Baghera admits that going back to this small familiar vanilla server feels like coming back home to your family during the holidays

Team du Lundi's cameos in QSMP :

Though Pomme has never canonically met JDG (even though most of her parents have talked about him to her at least once), she occasionaly breaks the 4th wall to refer to him. She once compared one of BBH's "vacation" flower shirts with his, and when Foolish and Bad asked her to elaborate (obviously not getting the reference) she proceeded to play JDG's music theme with the flute instead (Also I really feel the need to once more point out how mindblowing it is for your average french speaking viewer to have JDG's intro theme being added to the mod they use in the QSMP because of how anchored it is within french internet pop culture. Like this shit has been existing for 14 fucking years, it's part of the childhood of a lot of us, so to find a clip of British hardcore player Philza peacefuly listening to Mexican egg admin Tallulah play this theme on her flute feels like a multiverse fever dream)

Horty has been on Quesadilla Island through cc!Baghera's account, but neither of them really wanted to justify it RP wise. Baghera just wanted to give her best friend a tour of the island. Horty only got to meet Richarlyson who gave her a tour of Cellbit's castle and made her pick a room (she chose Chaos). She also chatted with Etoiles who tagged along for a bit and (this is obviously justified by it being a one-shot out of roleplay filler episode kind of night) they both already knew each other and were on friendly enough terms to bicker with one another Also she was part of the French speakers Quackity reached out to to invite on the server, but she had to decline because she was very busy at that time (and also not interested) Also also she was Baghera's teammate for that Formula 4 event, and Baghera has discussed it and showed pictures to a couple of islanders, including Richas who was very hyped about it

Another player the viewers were hoping to see on Quackity's server is Mynthos. He exists within the server with the picture of him that hangs in Pomme's art gallery, the cursed animation video that used to play in La France, as well as with Aypierre's health potion factory that bears his name

Angle Droit and Zerator are sometimes namedropped when the French speakers talk with their chat. Angle Droit frequently raids Baghera's and Antoine's streams, and though it has never been confirmed, a lot of viewers theorized that she was the +1 player Baghera and Etoiles wanted to invite on the server had they won the elections.

As for Zera, Etoiles went AFK on QSMP a couple of times in order to test some of Zerator's TrackMania maps (which he later discussed with Pac). I also remember a very trivial conversation Etoiles had with Mouse and Aypierre where he laughed about hurting his back very badly after carrying a fellow streamer during a caritative event, said event was hosted by Zerator (he's also the one judging them with concern from his desk)

I'm done.

Bonus alternative design for Angle Droit because at first I thought she was a fox then it turned out she was a corgi but then she changed it again to a fox and woop

[incorrectbatfam]

favorite pair of bat siblings and their favorite thing to do together

Not a pair but I'm always a fan of the Tim+Steph+Cass+Duke quartet

Alfred sends them grocery shopping. Steph and Cass race shopping carts, Duke gets a $500 parmesan wheel the size of a bike tire, and Tim negotiates his way into buying a lottery ticket underaged. They're no longer allowed to go unsupervised

They once pretended they were making each other's death row meals. Steph made a rotisserie chicken, Cass baked a Happy Death Day cake, Duke blended a smoothie bowl 'cause the girls were taking up all the stove space, and Tim opened a can of Arkham-brand slop and called it a day

The first time they meet Duke's girlfriend, Izzy, the girls hit it off instantly and within 15 minutes get all of his embarrassing We Are Robin stories. Tim takes notes. Very very detailed notes

Steph's New Year's resolution is to finish a TV show before anyone can spoil it. Tim, Cass, and Duke's resolution is to watch everything before her. Duke puts everything on 2x speed, Cass screenshots major moments, and Tim hacks Netflix to get new episodes early

Steph used to work retail and they won't let her live down the time she, as a customer, used her customer service voice on a cashier

Tim's phone doesn't have a QR reader. If he needs to access one in public, the other three will do a thing where one scans it while the rest two pretend to and they make him guess

Cass is really passionate about making tiny ballet slippers for rats so they get an equal chance to learn it and ropes the other three into her sewing circle. Damian sometimes helps too

They get an underwater speaker for the sole purpose of playing the Jaws theme while Bruce is in the pool

Alfred creates a swear jar for each kid. Everyone expects Jason to fill it first, but it's actually Duke after he stubs his toe. Second is Steph, then Cass in sign language, and finally Tim when his coffee ran out

Alfred collects the money and gives it to Selina for safekeeping, who wires it back to Tim who adds a new living room to the house. Duke blueprints, Steph and Cass pick the furniture, and they slowly build it whenever they get a break. It's not hidden or anything, but somehow no one noticed an entire room that wasn't there before

They have a shared Spotify account. Some of their playlists: POV it's 1998 and you're terrified of growing up, Songs for when you wanna bite styrofoam, How to use a stapler, and Holy Fucking Bingle

[coopigeoncoo]

Meat Cute, Chapter 9

Chapter Links: First, Previous <- Chapter 9 ->Next

Pairing: Alastor x Fem!Reader

Rating: Mature (rating may change)

Tags: Canon-typical violence, Cannibalism, Reader is a cannibal, Fake/pretend relationship, Puns, Raccoon Reader, Tags may change, Swearing

---

In a bid to appear more approachable to the denizens of the Hazbin Hotel, Alastor enlists the help of his favorite butcher to step into the roll of an (after)lifetime: pretending to be his paramour!

---

“You can't deny we have so much in common,” Alastor's grinned, his smile somehow, impossibly, widening even farther as he leaned down on the counter on a single elbow; his nose nearly touching yours as you stood frozen in place. “I'm somewhat of a Butcher myself, you know.”

–--

A story where one thing is certain: the steaks are never bigger than when love is on the line.

---

Continue reading below, or follow the link to A03!

The remaining partygoers had dispersed pretty quickly once the fighting had ceased and the participants scattered to different areas of the hotel to cool off. 

“The hour grows late, my dear,” Alastor remarked, checking the time on his pocket watch before deftly snapping the cover shut and sliding it into a pocket in his inner vest.  “Best to get you home before you turn into a pumpkin.”

“Gourd big or go home, huh?” you joke, quickly tossing back the last bit of your drink.  “Alright, we can leave.  But I'd like to thank our hostess before we set out.”

“Of course,” Alastor nodded, lifting his arm and pointing down a dimly lit corridor.  “I believe our wayward Princess went that thataway.”

“You aren't coming?”

“I'm afraid not.  Lucifer is at the door bidding our fine guests adieu,” Alastor said as he needlessly straightened his pristine bow tie. “And I would hate for that to be their final impression of our establishment.”

“Best to get out there then, so the event can end on a high note.”

“Precisely!” Alastor chortled. “How could I possibly deny our potential donors the chance to spend more time in my illustrious company?  I'm sadistic, not cruel.”

There was obviously some underlying tension between Alastor and the King of Hell that you weren't privy to, but without further context you simply said a temporary farewell to your compulsory companion and set off to find Princess Charlotte.

She wasn't very difficult to track down.

You simply followed the pitiful wails that echoed off the dark paneled walls, eventually spotting her curled up towards the bottom of a winding spiral staircase.  A large glass jar sat next to her, empty, with an obviously vandalized label reading “just the Tips” scrawled on it in two very different penmanship styles.  

“Ms. Charlie?” You say quietly, not wanting to startle and upset the poor woman more than she already was.  “Are you- will you be alright?”

“Yeah,” Charlie sniffs miserably, swallowing back a thick glob of snot before rubbing her eyes along her jacket sleeve to quickly wipe away her tears.  “I'll be okay.  I'm just- I don't know? Embarrassed, mostly.”

“About the, ah, naming debacle?”

“A bit,” she admits with a sullen shrug, staring down into the empty jar beside her.  “It's one thing to have a bunch of guys joke that they have ‘Huge loads’ they want to donate if they actually follow through on it.  But to just be laughed at for no reason?  That doesn't feel too great.”

“I see,” you murmured thoughtfully, easily coming to a decision as you opened up your small clutch and dug around inside.  “If it makes you feel any better, I had a wonderful time tonight.”

“You did? ” Charlie gasped, a tiny glimmer of joy appearing in her otherwise disheartened gaze.  

“I did.  The flowers were truly lovely and I enjoyed seeing how everyone created their own individual spaces.”

“Even Niffty's garden of insect suffering?”

“That was the most memorable part, honestly.  It'll probably feature prominently in my nightmares for the rest of my afterlife.”

Finally, you were able to solicit a laugh from the downtrodden Princess; a joyous, if not mucousy, sound.  

“I know this isn't anywhere close to the amount you were hoping for, but- well, this is all I really have,” you admit, opening up your coin purse and shaking it over the empty donation jar; trying to ignore the sour tang of humiliation when only a couple of dollars in change and a coupon for 15% off a tooth sharpening service fall out.  

“The uh- the coupon expires next week,” you mutter, trying to fill the uncomfortable silence as Charlie stared at your paltry offering; the coins rattling sadly at the bottom of the jar.  “So you should…keep that in mind, I suppose.”

"This is-”

“Not a lot, I know,” you cringed, eyes burning as you did your best to hold back shameful tears.  Ms. Rosie did a great job polishing you up, but the fact of the matter was that Charlie's life- an existence of privilege and having ; was so distant from the desperation and wanting that had been clawing at your insides for as long as you could remember.  

With your eyes closed, not wanting to face the full extent of her pity; you had no way of anticipating the crushing force of Charlie's hug as she flung herself at you. 

“No,” Charlie whispered fiercely into your shoulder. “It's more than enough.  It's everything.”

If Alastor noticed the puffy skin around your eyes he was polite enough to not mention it or simply didn't care.  Either way, the stroll back to Cannibal Town arm-in-arm with him was a pleasant way to end the evening.  The humidity of the day had died down enough where it no longer felt like you were drinking the air, and the terrified screams of unlucky sinners were distant enough that they faded into the background of whatever moody jazz tune Alastor had selected to play as you strolled.  

The blood wine had dispersed quickly from your empty belly, muddling your thoughts and filling you with a reckless sort of bravery.

“Alastor, Sir?” You say quickly, not giving yourself the opportunity to back down.  “May we speak candidly?”

“Can-did, you say? That's something we certainly can-do, ” Alastor jested, the ambient music lowering slightly in volume to allow for an easier flow of conversation.  

Being the focus of Alastor's attention was always a stressful sort of experience; like having the full force of a spotlight turned onto you.  

“I'm just, well, a bit curious, ” you manage to stammer out.  “About your intentions.”

“My intentions? ” Alastor echoed with an uncomprehending blink.  

“I know that you…don't really care for me. Not in the way you want others to believe, anyway,” you quietly admit.  

“True,” Alastor readily agrees.  The fact that his rejection came so swiftly, as though you weren't even worthy of a passing moment of consideration, ached in a way you hadn't ever felt before.  It was like a spindle tightening in your gut, spooling you inwards, making you feel even smaller and more insignificant than you normally did.  

Swallowing thickly, you press on; determined to find some crumb of meaning in your pain.   

“So I suppose my question is why?  Why carry out this facade?  Why choose me to assist you with it?”

Alastor was slow to respond, not out of need to compose his answer, but out of an irrepressible need to draw out the theatricality of every possible moment.  

“Recently, I have found myself saddled with what one might call a bit of an unwanted reputation,” Alastor admitted with a weary sigh.  “I wouldn't usually bother with such trifling matters, but it's becoming an increasingly burdensome issue.”

“I'm still not entirely sure how I factor into all of this.”

“More often than not, the simplest solution to a problem is best.  And you, my dear, have proven yourself to be quite simple.”

“Gee, thanks,” you bristled, doing your best to tamp down your irritation at his backhanded compliment.  

“Quite welcome,” Alastor said cheerily, tucking his cane into the crook of his arm so he could pat the top of your hands, both wrapped snugly around his forearm, firmly.  

You hadn't been aware that a touch could feel condescending until this precise moment in time.    

“So, I'm accompanying you for what purpose, exactly?  To improve your image?”

Alastor's nose crinkled in distaste, tongue tsking at you in reprimand.  “I assure you there is nothing about my person that you could possibly improve upon.”

“Of course.  How silly of me to imply otherwise,” you respond placatingly, patting his hand just as he had yours moments before.  Based on the nearly imperceptible ticking of his eyebrow, Alastor found the gesture just as infuriating as you did.  

Good.  

“As for why I chose you, well, think of it this way; why should a fox bother hunting when the chicken coop's unlocked?”

You weren't sure what you hated more, the idea that Alastor viewed you with a chicken happily waiting to be slaughtered or the fact that his comparison fit so well. 

Tag List:

@wendds @matpatsstuff @qardasngan @polytheatrix @sirens-and-moonflowers  @venusdandy

[mossstep]

ghost sagau!

Part one… you’re here Part two part 3

characters: Hu Tao

tw/cws: genshin sagau, swearing, minor ooc (idk how to write hu tao)

note: I am a minor, don’t be weird in my tags please!

Waking up in teyvat was certainly not on your bingo card for this year. You had only been playing genshin seriously for about a year or so. You had played before that, but had gotten bored after the Monstadt archon quest, because of the steep ar requirements for the Liyue archon quest.

So waking up in Liyue, specifically wuwang hill was,  jarring to say the least. You had recognized the area immediately. You had basically lived in the crimson witch domain farming for your Hu Tao. Not that you had Hu Tao yet, having lost your 50/50 on each of her reruns. (Seriously! Talk about bad luck!)

As you get up you notice a vague feeling weightlessness, looking down, you noticed that you were partially see-through? What?

You had barely been able regain your composure when you here a familiar song. You recognized it anywhere, seeing as it from was one of the most iconic idles in the game. 

As the director of the Wanshengn funeral parlor sang her song, she suddenly paused, staring directly at you.

“Hello!” She says with a grin walking towards you, “you’re different from the other ghosts that hang around here,” she said with a smile.

“I-“ you opened your mouth to speak, but what were you supposed to say in this situation? ‘Yeah you’re right, I’m from a world where this is all a game and you’re a fictional character lol’ like, you can’t just say that! That’d give Hu Tao an existential crisis! 

…actually maybe it wouldn’t considering her personality, but thats besides the point. 

“…yeah,” you say, “you’re Hu Tao, correct?” You don’t need the clarification considering how much time you’ve spent on this game, but it doesn’t really matter.

Hu Tao laughed, “I’m sure you don’t need need me to confirm, your grace, considering-“

“IM SORRY?” You blurt out before thinking, “what- what the fuck did you just call me?”

“Oh” Hu Tao stared at you for a moment. “You’re the creator right? Everyone here knows we wouldn’t exist without you creating an account!”

“What?” Is the only thing you can’t think about to say, “you- oh my god?” The people here know they’re in a video game? Wait hold on- creator? The fuck?

Hu Tao stared at you for a moment, before a mischievous look washed across her face, “you should come to liyue harbor! I’m sure everyone would be happy to see you!”

“Okay?” You say, and Hu Tao ran off. “Hey- wait!” You didnt know your way to liyue harbor from here, always taking advantage of the waypoints, you go to run after her, but suddenly the world shifted. 

You would’ve felt a wave of nausea if it weren’t for your ghostly form, but one moment you’re at wuwang hill, and the next you’re standing by the waypoint overlooking Liyue harbor.

This was going to be a long day, wasn’t it?

[saurons-pr-department]

WIP Sunday!

Thanks for the tag @jaz-the-bard! I know you tagged my main, but since it'll be a Tolkien WIP I decided to put it on the Tolkine blog.

Since I update my writing so rarely, I'll give ye snippets of two WIPs! (to prove they exist 😅)

1)

She shifted position slightly and a glint of light drew Aulë's attention to something in her hand.  “Oh, it’s just some peaches that a nice young Vanya gave me. You know them and their offerings.”   She held up the jar for him to see. It was packed full of peaches, peeled and halved, preserved with something syrupy. They looked delicious. Pity he was going to have to dump them the first chance he got.   “A jar! Perfect! I shall hold on to that for you while we go have a look at what marvels everyone is creating!”  Without waiting for an answer Aulë took the jar in one hand and with the other ushered his very confused wife down the corridor towards the main forge. Whether or not he would be able to successfully scoop the escaped dark lord back into a jar without Yavanna seeing was a worry he was leaving for when the time came to it. For now he was busy trying to convince her that, according to the incarnates, powerwalking is much better for your health than strolling. No really. Many of them swear by it. 

2)

To Olórin’s right, at the feet of Lady Nienna, sat Maeglin. He had only been convinced to leave the lady’s halls by the promise that the council would be held at night so that he could more easily move in secret. Not that there was much of a difference between night and day these days. He sat straight and proud, head unbowed, but Olórin could see how tightly his fists were balled in his lap, how tensely his jaw was set. It occurred to Olórin that this would probably be the first time that Maeglin would have been in the presence of so many people in thousands of years. All things considered, he appeared to be handling it quite well.

Tagging: @foxindarkness @elennalore and @chrissystriped As always, no pressure, just if you felt like posting something.

[ritzcrackee]

may tbr post yayy

rereads are marked by a ☆, new reads are marked by a ♡, and new acquisitions are bolded

physical tbr: 15

more letters from a nut - ted l. nancy ♡

fahrenheit 451 - ray bradbury ♡

little (grrl) lost - charles de lint ♡

dracula - bram stoker ♡

dune - frank herbert ♡

dune messiah - frank herbert ♡

frankenstein - mary shelley ♡

juilet takes a breath - gabby rivera ♡

sense and sensibility - jane austen ♡

stories of people and civilization, greek ancient

origins - lindsay powell, j. k. jackson ♡

the silent stars go by - dan abbet ♡

touched by an angel - johnathan morris ♡

the handmaids tale - margaret atwood ✩

the testaments - margaret atwood ♡

aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the

universe - benjamin alire sáenz ✩

digital tbr: 4

pandora's jar: women in the greek myths - natalie haynes ♡

providence girls - morgan dante ♡

cemetery boys - aiden thomas ♡

if you could see the sun - ann liang ♡

read: 11

an education in malice - s. t. gibson - 3.5/5

i have,,, conflicted feelings on this book. it was good, the action was interesting, the characters were complex, the vibes were impeccable, but,,,,, idkkk.... i can't even verbalize it but there was something about this that just made it a slog to get through.

i can't help myself from comparing it to a dowry of blood, which i feel had a much cleaner execution of very similar themes. dracula felt charasmatic, he felt gravitational, he felt like a person you would give up humanity for. de lafontaine felt,,,, like a mean professor. carmilla and laura constantly wax on about how brilliant and intoxicating she is, but i never felt that. s.t. gibson can write an obsessive, imbalanced, interesting relationship! they can write it very well! so i don't understand why this fell flat for me.

overall, i think this book was disjointed. it felt like a collection of vibey scenes and quotes to put on your instagram. (which, to be fair, the quotes are banger. and the vibes are so so vibes.) i liked it, but i don't know how long it'll stay on my shelf.

maneater - emily antoinette - 2.5/5

tbh i don't have much to say abt this 👍 it was an ok book 👍

hot button issue - catrina bell - 2.5/5

i liked seeing more of this world! the couple wasn't really my thing but thats more of a me issue (get it? no? ok) i do wish there was a little more roller derbying but overall this was cool.

wild is the witch - rachel griffin - dnf

cool concept but the writing style was too repetitive for my taste 👍

luxuria - colette rhodes - dnf

i didn't like this book whoopsies. i wanted to actually try fantasy romance instead dismissing the entire genre but ummm. yeah no i don't like fantasy romance. not my thing. paranormal besties please take me back ill never stray again 🙏

garron park - nordika night - 1/5

ok so. well. where do i even start with this book. extremely silly to, at 25 years of age, call someone your enemy. are you five? are you five years old? everyone certainly swears like a five year old. tiny baby writing tip: maybe keep the word fuck to, like, once a paragraph.

additionally, you can create tension without violence sometimes! if your main characters have confessed their undying love to each other, probably they can talk to eachother for four seconds! probably they don't need to punch eachother as much! probably, a change in their actions and words would show the audience how much their relationship has grown.

i also wasn't super into how many times the main characters brothers brought up how sexy they were? kind of a weird move. certainly not something i would choose to say about my own brother, nor my best friends brother! maybe thats just me though who knows

it was genuinely just edgy k-pop wattpad poverty-porn yaoi but? i did read 300 pages in one sitting so? points for that? you get 1 point for that.

rebel girls - elizabeth keenan - 2.5/5

second pro-choice book i've read this month so thats cool! guess we have a theme going. tbh i don't have much to say about this. the characters were interesting, if lacking in depth. the plot was fine, if lacking in depth. the messaging was good, if lacking in depth. i guess this book was overall, lacking in depth. i'm sure my local free little library will appreciate it. 👍

undergrounders - j. e. glass - 2.5/5

this is just the month of the perfectly average books huh? everybody's getting 2.5 stars skdisjdj.

anyways, i wanted to see if my issue with luxuria was actually its genre, or if it was the overwhelming hetero of it all. so i read a queer fantasy romance! with all of the tropes i like! and i still didn't enjoy it :(. i am glad that i tried this, but i can say with absolute certainty now that fantasy romance is not for me.

the main couple was sooooo cutes though and the side characters were sooooo cutes and the worldbuilding was v v v cool! if you like sapphic fantasy romance? absolutely reccomend this book!

the ballad of songbirds and snakes - suzanne collins - 3/5

girl this is why u reread books bcus i used to tell people that this was my favorite book ever. it is not. idk why i thought that.

ANYWAYS this was alright. i liked how easy the themes were to pick up on, the ambiguous ending, and listening to coriolanus justify his weird evil behavior. that was cool. i didn't like um lucy gray. not because she was bad, but because she felt like a non-character yk? i thought she had some pretty cool characterization in the beginning, especially surrounding her being a performer (being a parallel to coriolanus) but then she kind of fell off and just became a stock Trusting Girlfriend. which was meh. i'm excited to watch the movie, snow lands on top or whatever 👍

cultish: the language of fanaticism - amanda montell - 4/5

this was very cool to learn about and easy to digest 👍. not a full 5/5 because it was nonfiction so i wasn't obsessed with it, but definitely more engaging than most other nonfiction books I've read.

fox court - nora sakavic - 1/5

started reading this because i heard that it was like,,, bad but addictive? like full wattpad nonesense but u look up and you've finished the whole series in one sitting yk? it was,,, not that way for me. i thought it was boring, confusing, and the characters were sooo unlikable. ik this has a pretty big fandom on here please don't come for me sowwyy um. yeah

last months goal: finish a reread

WOO HOO i did it this time! gold star for me, best reader in the whole world. this was really easy, because i genuinely couldn't remember a single thing about a ballad of songbirds and snakes, so it felt like i was reading a brand new book. i also said that i wanted to carve away a more sizable chunk of my tbr this month, which i kind of did? i only read 3 physical books, but i got rid of almost an entire shelfs worth because my family was having a yard sale! so yk. vibes.

this months goal: ... finish dune

LOOK LOOOK STOP THROWING TOMATOES AT ME LOOK ok. last time this was a lofty goal filled with folly and big dreams and it was stupid. THIS TIME i literally only have 257 pages left. which is actually so reasonable. if i read 50 pages a night before bed that's only 5 days of reading. i can straight up do this one this time I PROMISE.

[spacefinch]

Magic School Bus incorrect quotes

Carlos: Hey I wonder what happens if I put powdered milk into carbonated water.

A FEW MOMENTS LATER

Carlos: My cereal is loud and it’s demanding to know why I would sin against both nature and god so thoughtlessly.

Phoebe: How does it taste?

Carlos: Bad.

Dorothy Ann: The fizz comes from carbonic acid in the water splitting into CO2 and H2O over time. And carbonic acid is— as an acid— sour. By adding milk to sour water, you’ve created a very convincing emulation of spoiled milk, so I’ll believe in a heartbeat that the taste is not great.

Carlos: I have mastered the potion “Instant Spoiled Milk” earning me the rank of shittiest alchemist currently alive.

Ralphie: It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s free: pouring river water in your socks!

Keesha: Why would I do that?

Ralphie: It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s free!

Izzy (my OC): So basically I

Mikey: rimce 🍚

Izzy: Does nothing matter to you?

Mikey: rimce 🍚

Phoebe: She was poetry, he couldn’t read

Ralphie: his name was jarred, he’s nineteen

Carlos: When his parents built a very strange machine

Dorothy Ann: Watch that scene dig in the dancing queen

Tim: Eyyyyy Macarena

Keesha: Horrible job everyone

Phoebe: My talent is identifying birds.

Wanda: Okay, what’s this one?

Phoebe: Yep. It’s definitely a bird.

Carlos: Have you heard of Murphy’s law?

Phoebe: Yep

Carlos: Have you heard of Cole’s law?

Phoebe: I haven’t

Carlos: It is thinly sliced cabbage

Phoebe: How dare you

Carlos: “The Walking Dad” but it’s just a guy walking around the house turning off lights and muttering that he’s “not made of money.”

Mr. Ramon: CARLOS!! You left your bedroom light on again! I told you, I’m not made of money!

Phoebe: Why does anyone try to fight a goose?

Tim: Sometimes the goose gives you no option.

Tim: 🎵 The head bone’s connected to the neck bone🎵

Keesha: 🎵The neck bone’s connected to the neck bone

Carlos: 🎵 The neck bone’s connected to the neck bone

Dorothy Ann: There are seven cervical vertebrae

Ralphie: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Keesha: Why are you guys reblogging this in December?

Phoebe: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Wanda: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Keesha: It is February, you ANIMALS

Carlos: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Mikey: Oh sorry, I fell asleep while I was waiting on you to make me a sandwich.

Carlos: Go back to sleep AND STARVE.

Arnold: Being alive is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sauté. But then there are also the horrors.

Carlos: Not all math puns are bad.

Carlos: Just sum of them.

Mikey: Dad, what’s for dinner?

Carlos: Dad, we’re hungry!

Izzy: Dad, what’s for dinner?

Carlos: Dad, we’re HUNGRY!

Mr. Ramon, trying to cook: *screams*

Carlos: Party time!

Carlos: *enters room*

Carlos: Eyyyyy! Everybody clap your hands!

Everyone: *clap clap clap clap clap*

Wanda; My DNA test results came back positive. I definitely have DNA.

Tim: Quit bragging.

Carlos: I’m glad to report that Hot Dr. Pepper was a success at my family’s Christmas dinner.

Carlos: Might be because I told everyone it was tea at first, except Mikey, who saw me pouring a bottle of Dr. Pepper into a hot pan and just immediately went “Woah can I have some of that?”

Keesha: *filming*

*camera pans over*

Keesha: Hi!

Arnold: … Okay.

Tim: I swear, the next one of you to say “weird flex, but okay” is going to regret it.

Carlos: …

Phoebe: …

Keesha: …

Dorothy Ann: Preposterous boast, but alas.

Tim: *sigh*

Wanda: If you have knees, you are valid.

Tim: Homophobes have knees, too.

Wanda: Not for long.

Ralphie: What means “I hate you” in dinosaur?

Carlos: No. Dinosaur is the language of love.

[setsuraposting]

I Think I Understand Seimei Now

I just finished rereading the Nura manga, and I have some thoughts about quite a few things, but here I want to talk about the main villain Abe no Seimei.

I’ve long considered Seimei to be possibly the worst-written character in the series, largely as a result of his transition from “I love my mom so very much” to “I’m casting my mom to Hell” feeling jarring, nonsensical, and unearned, with him not getting the opportunity for much more characterization afterwards, which leaves him feeling like a generic final boss whose motivations don’t even really make sense.

This seems to a pretty common sentiment, too; one of the TV Tropes pages on the series echoes a similar feeling, and in the 2nd popularity poll he ranked abysmally low, in 56th place tied with Nuregarasu, Karasu-Tengu’s wife who only showed up for one chapter (Seimei didn’t exist yet at the time of the 1st poll, and the 3rd only gave us the top ten results). So I think it’s fair to say that Seimei is not a very well-received antagonist.

And while I absolutely understand why, and still don’t think he’s a good character persay, I’ve started to understand what I think the author was trying to go for, and how it could’ve been effective if things had been more fleshed out. While talking to Hagoromo-Gitsune before the final battle, he says something along the lines of “I must stay strong, and for that you had to die”, and then it all clicked. He didn’t send her to Hell because he didn’t care anymore; it’s precisely *because* he cared so much that she couldn’t be allowed to exist anymore.

Seimei’s whole ideal is that for harmony to exist, he must absolutely rule over everything, and that means *everything*. If he ages and dies, the perfect world he creates will wither away, so he must conquer death through reincarnation and later the Gokadoin longevity technique. If there are factions not loyal to him, they can disrupt the peace, so he’ll eradicate all the humans and youkai who don’t swear allegiance and then preside over the society that remains after.

And, if his beloved mother is still with him, that means he has a glaring weakness, an exploitable flaw in his otherwise impenetrable being. Her death is what caused him to have a mental breakdown and start down the path of darkness in the first place, and more than anything he wants to prevent that from happening again, because that would make him an imperfect and vulnerable leader. Just as with conquering death and eliminating everyone not loyal to him, Seimei’s passion for his Hagoromo-Gitsune is another “weakness” or volatile element that he feels need to be purged in order to ensure his eternal rule can never be interrupted again.

This is actually quite an interesting idea (at least compared to my previous conception of the character), but unfortunately it’s barely fleshed out at all, to the point where I only realized it on my second read-through. A lot more could’ve been done with this, and maybe it was supposed to be and the final arc getting rushed by the higher-ups just prevented that. If things had been been allowed to play out the author originally intended, Seimei probably could’ve ended up feeling more than a stoic genocidal bad guy, but that just never got the chance to happen.

[lordofhunger47]

Twins Vs Triplets

Stanley was in the hospital, and Wendy just gave birth to triplets to the surprise of everyone, having twins was a tradition in the Pines family but Triplets? That’s another story.

 

Currently, The infant boy which got named Tyrone was in Dipper’s hands and the father looked like he was going to faint any moment, with the girl named Anna in Mabel’s hand who was ecstatic beyond words and the other named Avalon in the hands of the sat down Wendy on the bed.

 

“Yo Stan! Come and say hi to your Great-Nephew’s daughter!” the mother urged her Grunkle-in-law to come, once Ley hesitantly got the baby something happened which made his pupils grow big.

 

“ Guug-gaa.” the babe uttered, causing a storm of wholesomeness to take over Stanley looking at her with almost sparky eyes, for minutes he kept the baby in his hands as if he was afraid she would fall from his hands and crack to a million pieces like a glass jar.

 

“Stanley? It’s my time now.” His brother stepped in and gestured to him to give him the baby.

 

“NO!” he moved her to his chest in a protective hug “get your own infant to corrupt!” he hissed.

 

“It’s my time now Stanley! Fair and square!” Ford pressured his brother to give him the baby.

 

“Catch me if you can, nerd!” Stanley ran with the baby from the running Stanford, and just like that the history rhymes itself with the running Stanley with a baby away from another elder Pines just like when he first time saw Dipper and Mabel when they were infants and didn’t let Sherman to hold them because he was greedy as the wife and husband rolled their eyes with the aunt giggled at seeing the Grunkles making a fool out of themselves.

________________________________________

 

Years later…

 

‘ What was I thinking?’ The same thought came into Stan and Ford’s minds, maybe agreeing to babysit Dipper and Mabel’s triplets wasn’t a very good idea, don’t get me wrong both elder twins loved the young Triplets; however, they as they learned can be a handful.

 

 __________________________________________

 

“Look Grunkle! It’s my new pet!” Avalon said cheerfully with a collared angry Mongolian sandworm that was on her head and trying to swallow her with half of her head from up.

 

Stanford nearly suffered a heart attack as he looked in horror, nearly fulfilling Bil’s prophecy about his cause of death.

 

___________________________________________

 

* BOOOOOOOM! *

 

“AAAAAAAAAH!” Stan wakes up from his bed screaming.

 

“Happy April’s fools old dinosaur! Have you scammed someone today?” Anna with a bugle greeted a woke-up Stanley.

 

“I’m both annoyed and proud at the same time,” he said, annoyed.

 

___________________________________________

 

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Tyron in a white coat and black experiment goggles laughed maniacally because he used necromancy and forbidden science to bring the life to a dead frog with metallic antennas, patched body parts of various animals such as a chicken leg for its right leg, a crab arm for its left arm and bat wings and it currently was flying all over the living room. “I HAVE CREATED LIFE!”.

 

Older Pines twins were using a chair and a table to shield themselves from the rabid bat frog that was attacking them to give them vampire-zombies rabies.

 

___________________________________________

Is it any wonder every time Wendy and Dipper weren’t in the house they hired or convinced someone to babysit the kids of their chaotic nature? The Stan twins came to this conclusion as they tried to find the young triplets in the garden.

 

“I swear these sassy kids will be the end of us.” Ford’s twin grumbled.

 

“I wonder if this is karmic justice for us Pines being a bunch of sassy trouble-seekers.” Stan’s twin wondered.

 

“Our family does have a trend of bringing trouble seekers, but these knuckleheads are even more of a rascal than any member of the Pines family in the history of our family tree!” The conman uttered in exasperation.

 

“Perhaps this is a genetic quirk which is only amplified thanks to the addition of the Corduroy genes.” The scientist hypothesized as he looked over a bush for the hidden rascals.

 

“Over here!” The duo looked over and saw smug girls up in a tree. “Oh, you little brats are soooo grounded for making us try to find you for an hour!” Ley pointed in accusation toward them who didn’t look even a bit intimidated.

 

“Stanley, wait, there are only the girls, where’s Tyrone?” Stanley’s brother was puzzled, before any of them had the chance to register the girls leaped from the top of the tree on the ground and started racing.

 

“Catch us if you can, old man!” a running Ava taunted.

 

“Don’t sass me young lady!” a chasing con artist responded to the sassy girl.

 

While the hustler was pursuing the puffed-haired child, the six-fingered man ran after the other Pines kid who pranced into a bush, The man of science now was left to solve the puzzle which is finding his target who kept showing her head out of the plant and goad him in grabbing him.

 

“Here!” from Left.

 

“Here!” from Right.

 

“Here!” from Middle.

 

“Here!” Right.

 

Annable kept popping her head from the bush and disappeared repeatedly with Ford trying to snatch her each time "Oh in the name of-" he was becoming tired so he just jumped into the bush only for the redhead girl to then jump out of the bush and ran away.

 

“Too slow!”

 

The multiversal traveler sighs deeply and comes out of the bush to follow her.

 

While Ford was busy running toward the pink shirt kid, Stan trying to look for the goggled girl with a withered hat, he stumbled upon a shadow behind a tree which prompted him to grin. “Oh, I wonder where that little twerp went? Maybe I should check the basement and- AHA!” He quickly moved behind the tree only to see a dummy made in a crude fashion of her with a note that said “‘I Outscammed ya!? No one out-scammed the scamp-scap-scar…!

 

"It's scammer." Ford corrected him as he was chasing.

 

"No one asked you for literature lessons!" He takes the note and violently smashes it in his fist in outrage and pride over the fact that he got out conned by the Pines kid.

 

“Nice sprinting, I just got warmed up!” Annable blew a raspberry at the now tired elder who kept chasing her circles. “My * breath* body * breaths* is not * breath * what it used to be…” the panting dimension hopper vocalized, years haven’t been kind to the elder Pines much on their body and stamina even though they used paranormal means to extent their lives.

 

“We just got started!” Avalon came and joined her partner in crime and went inside the house.

 

As the author of the journals was busy collecting himself, his sibling came and joined in. “Not any better chances huh?” he questioned breathing, “Oh this time they are not going to fool us!”- he clapped his hands together -”Come Poindexter! they are now inside the house, we will find them, come!” he gestured his twin to follow him to the inside of the home, there were no lights and everything was suspiciously dark.

 

“Now where is the switch to turn on the-” without any warning, every light in the house got lit up.

 

"SURPRISE!" The entire set of triplets greeted the startled Old men with glitters flying all over.

 

“What in tarnation…” once the ex-Mr Mystery’s eyes adjusted and left his hands away from his face, he saw a big sign from the roof which said ‘SURPRISE!’ in numerous colors with the trio in the living room welcoming him.

 

“What’s this now?” He looked confused.

 

“Isn't it obvious? It’s a surprise! Otherwise, why do you think we kept trying to keep you out of the house?” Ty informed them.

 

“But, our birthday is not today,” Fordsy noted.

 

“So what? That doesn’t mean we can’t do something nice for our favorite Great uncles!” Ava counteracted his point.

 

“Here, we made this together!” Anna responded and then gave them a present warped in red colors and white dolts with a golden ribbon. Stan and Ford at first looked suspicious, thinking this is just another prank until they opened the cover and found out that it was genuine, what they saw was a brown diary with glitters and labels written ‘Stanley and Stanford Pines: Our Heroes’ when they see inside of it they found images and pictures of them but younger from when they were kids, their older versions spending time with Mabel and Dipper across the years from when they were 12 years old till their graduation and their marriage to their respective spouses and finally it was them hanging out with the triplets and then a series of blankets which said 'Make new memories with us' in first of all blanket papers , the nostalgic hit the Old Pines hard and were touched by this gift with Stan, in particular, was in the verge of crying.

 

“Are you crying?” Tyrone teased.

 

“NO! I’m allergic to all your sasses!” Stanley immediately wiped his tears and shouted out at the chuckling kid, Ford couldn’t help but smile ‘ These kids are going to grow into fine individuals.’ he thought warmly.

[soul-dwelling]

Do you think Okhubo having Shinra revive everyone and it being a happy end is a direct response to the non ending of the soul eater manga which left many things uresolved or just returned to the status qou?

Oh, I'm going to be awhile with this...

(*sets out green tea to power me through this long reply...and sets out a swear jar*)

Short answer:

No, I don't think it was a direct response. If anything, it was Ohkubo doing the same kind of ending, in which things are rushed, little is explained, story potential is left unspent because it's the finale and we have no more time, rather than using Fire Force to answer stuff not answered in Soul Eater it raises more questions that are more about how this undermines the mission statement of each series.

And I debate whether we should even call this a "happy ending."

And yet, even as this is a return to a status quo of having these characters still alive, it is an ending that drastically changes their world, their abilities, and their relationships--but as it is the end of the series, that again is left hanging for whatever future story Ohkubo tells or, better yet, what fans end up making for themselves (...including just ignoring Fire Force as a prequel and making better Soul Eater fics explaining this shit).

Long answer:

I didn't think of Shinra reviving everyone and it being a happy ending are a direct response to Soul Eater leaving things unresolved.

(I also don't think of it as a happy ending anyway, but I'll get to that.)

If anything, the ending of Fire Force, with Shinra reviving everyone, seemed like yet another way Ohkubo trolls the fans:

"Oh, you're upset about the lack of answers as to how Lord Death got here, the 800 years between Asura's defeat and now, and the larger societal structure of the Witches? Well, screw that, and screw you, too: I'm going to give you the most unsatisfying origin story for Lord Death, skip the 800 years stuff, and just make up some crap about how witches were created without actually delving into their society! So there! Ha!"

(*groans* Some of us just wanted a spinoff that would address these questions; instead, we got a prequel no one asked for--and I don't mean Soul Eater NOT.)

Also, if anything, Shinra reviving everyone also seemed like a way for Ohkubo to wrap up Fire Force in a way similar to how he wrapped up Soul Eater: deus ex machina to wrap up the story, not let people die.

Spirit, Marie, et al are about to be trapped on the Moon? Eh, just have Maba do a last-minute teleportation. It's not unbelievable, and it at least matches the power set Maba had all along--except, that means she likely could have done that at any point. Hell, Kid was separated from the Moon and had to race back to get there--why didn't Maba teleport him? "Maybe Maba has to recharge each time? I mean, Free wasn't very good at doing the teleportation spell, either." Fine, sure, go with that. "Maybe she can't keep teleporting people when they need to be there to keep fighting the Clowns and Asura?" Okay, fine. At least with Soul Eater, you could come up with excuses.

But Fire Force? Oh, no, it is just straight-up a literal deus ex machina, as if rubbing it into readers' faces that this story that keeps debasing religion as bad storytelling will itself weaponize bad storytelling to just end this series on a dissatisfying note.

Like, I appreciate Ohkubo putting in the setup: Shinra saw Akitaru and Vulcan and Kurono's skull motifs and used that for Lord Death; his understanding of the pre-Cataclysm world is vague so of course things look more cartoony when he tries to remake that world.

But it is also so hamfisted. Why would Shinra be inspired specifically by the skull stuff and not Akitaru's more paternal qualities, and why would he use his tormentor Kurono as a basis? How the hell does Shinra's actions somehow end up to the exact reformation of the world's nations as they were before, 800 years after Shinra dies, and how the hell does that lead to 800 years later Al Capone, JFK, Rasputin, Jack the Ripper, and Lupin all being alive in this world, again, 800 years after Shinra dies?

So, less "a direct response to the non-ending" and more "return to the status quo--because screw you, this is the end, let's wrap this up."

I know I hate on Fire Force--a lot. And it's not like a Doctor Who "everybody lives" ending can't be good. But that ending didn't work for me in Fire Force.

The ending clashed with what I thought was the message this manga was going for. It is not as if the series did not start with a focus on death--but instead of accepting that death is a part of real life, it did a pointless reset.

Like, Shinra brought back everyone, even people who died 250+ years ago (...including some bad dudes which, no, sorry, fuck those people, they can stay dead, Inka can stay fucking dead). But just because they are now treating Death himself as more cute and cuddly (...except they didn't: that is still his Old Death design, so even that didn't work--this is still the same Old Death who is going to end up cursing up a storm at Arachne while hunting her down to slaughter her), they are still going to die.

"But now they won't feel so bad about dying!" Then who fucking cares about resurrecting them? What, so they can die in peace? Are we then implying this is for their own mental health? But they're dead, why would their mental health matter now? Or, is this implying they get to rest in peace, hence have an afterlife? But we just established that God didn't exist until Shinra made Lord Death, so, again, what afterlife? Or, are we suggesting there is a separation between a concept of "God" and an afterlife?

(See why I can't stand Ohkubo's writing? This isn't "the art is beautiful because it leads to more questions that thereby make the writing better"; it's "the writing is vague, there are no answers, whatever answers you get will contradict other messages in the story; this is all a mess, the writer didn't care, the editor didn't care, so I guess you can just enjoy the pretty images and stick to fan works.")

These characters will all die eventually. Hell, even Lord Death died. Why should I care that Shinra brought them back to life just to die again? At least their living again is to let them do something better in this world--except, again, Shinra even resurrected some bad people, and thanks to him saving Inka her bullshit is going to start up again, and there are those fan theories that the White Hoods he resurrected led to Kishin worshippers and Medusa and other baddies, so, again, why bother resurrecting these people except for "Shinra wanted it that way, he is a flawed person like anyone, that's all, move on"?

I understand Fire Force was trying to say something about despair--and instead of facing realities, it said, "Fine, we'll change the laws of physics itself and escape this nonsense." In any other story, maybe that works, if you leaned even more into the idea that this is a work of fiction, the characters know it (as Viktor and Tamaki toyed with in...that abysmal "underage Tamaki is the universal symbol of sex," which, fuck, Ohkubo can fuck off), and so we are showing that art can create realities that show us the world we can have, more than the world we are stuck with.

But that still seems like such a violation of the initial mission statement of Fire Force (protect lives, tend to the survivors and their survivors' guilt) and how it ended ("This was all a Soul Eater prequel, death doesn't matter [unless you're Joe Buttataki, Granny, Lord Death, Justin, Medusa...]"). Maybe I need to accept that I misread the mission statement to Fire Force: after all, it wasn't just "protect lives," it was a message from Akitaru to Shinra that Shinra took to its most extreme (extremist? fundamentalist?) level, that being to not just protect life but to resurrect it...until people die anyway, so... *shrug* they didn't have to die in fires, so that is better to die in a cool and exciting way by some dragon or other beast that Ogun sees before looking back at Shinra and saying, "You really thought this entire frightening world was a better alternative?!"

As for whether the Fire Force ending was a return to a status quo: I mean, not quite?

Sure, everyone who died in the entire series, even in flashbacks, is back--but they aren't the same. That means it's not a return of the status quo: it's the return of these characters, only they are different, as are their interactions with each other (more on Maki and Takehisa, and Shinra, Iris, and Inca, in a moment).

If anything, that is more disappointing, albeit a problem with the endings to a lot of series: untapped potential. Fire Force in that regard did end on a high: we are curious where things go next...sort of. Like, there are great pieces of setup there for the 800+ years between Fire Force and Soul Eater to see how witch society develops, whether people mutated by their resurrection such as Huang lead to new species of people, how on earth this planet goes from looking like the Fire Force world to looking pretty much like our current world (only with Death City now existing).

But then you think, "Wait, we know what comes next: Soul Eater. So who cares?" I know that a lot can happen in 800+ years--but we already know what does happen. And that somehow still doesn't answer those questions I asked earlier, such as what witch society is actually like. We're teased that Inka is a start of that witch society--but that doesn't make sense, one person doesn't start a society, one person is there, then meets other people, then all of those people start a society. Show that story. But, no, _that_ is the status quo: Ohkubo still won't explain shit.

As for the other status quo change: character relationships. Shinra and Arthur are now more respectful of each other...but who cares, that relationship is now done. We hint that Maki and Takehisa are now an item--but who cares, Maki is off shopping with Lisa or something, that's just an empty throwaway line. Good for Maki getting to go shopping, why the fuck aren't we still seeing her honoring her commitments to protect the world along with her colleagues? Okay, fine, Tamaki and Juggernaut get to enjoy a date--but the world is still fucked, how come they lose their powers and don't get to help out?

And of course the inane Shinra / Iris / Inka love triangle bullshit for the sake of a dumb harem gag and the series just making Inka the fucking worst. It's an ending that says things are different--then doesn't answer how. When more readers wasted their time on the last chapter asking whether those two people were Shinra's kids or Arthur's kid or Inka's kid, who gives a fuck?

Maybe the anime will answer that, depending on how they color their hair or re-do the designs or just, I don't know, toss in words in dialogue or on screen identifying who those people are.

But I have zero confidence that will help: this is still a fandom that thinks "X character from Fire Force has a similar design to Y character from Soul Eater--must be related!" These are the same people who still think Kid and Shinra look alike because the story said so--when, no, they fucking don't.

(And yes, I did suggest certain Fire Force characters may have been ancestors to Medusa, Maba, etc--that is more about the thematics coinciding with the visual imagery, not "Ogun and Kilik look alike," which, no, stop that.)

[im-just-a-br0adway-baby]

I posted 4,695 times in 2022

That's 4,683 more posts than 2021!

80 posts created (2%)

4,615 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@spongebobssquarepants

@inthishousewestanencanto

@segasister

@barclaysbianca

@emberkyrlee

I tagged 107 of my posts in 2022

#encanto - 80 posts

#la familia madrigal - 76 posts

#disney's encanto - 62 posts

#pepa madrigal - 56 posts

#disney - 47 posts

#felix madrigal - 47 posts

#julieta madrigal - 42 posts

#agustin madrigal - 35 posts

#bruno madrigal - 34 posts

#incorrect encanto quotes - 32 posts

Longest Tag: 110 characters

#not mentioned: pepa snickering at the fact someone in the family is using the swear jar more than her for once

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Encanto Headcanons Part 4

Julieta and Pepa have the exact same laugh to an extent. You can tell who's who when they're just giggling, but when they full-out cackle you cannot tell the two apart.

Isabela and Mirabel's laughs are the exact same way.

Agustin had a habit of peeing himself when he's nervous when he was younger. He was often called "chico meado" (piss boy) by his peers as early as elementary school. This stopped by the time he graduated from high school.

Remember that headcanon about Pepa having a lisp when she was younger? Well, Bruno also had a speech impediment when he was younger, but he had trouble pronouncing his "R" sounds. He overcame this by the time he was thirteen.

Bruno was just as much of a problem child as Pepa was. While Pepa was more explosive, Bruno was more argumentative.

Everyone in the family knows sign language. Alma taught the triplets first, then Julieta and Pepa taught their husbands and children.

Agustin, Pepa, Dolores, Luisa, and Mirabel were hyperlexic. They learned how to read around age three or four.

All five of them were also able to write their own names around this time.

Everyone in the family knows how to play at least one instrument (we know this is canon with Mirabel and Agustin, and with the concept art, Dolores and Felix) except for Antonio, only because he's still young.

He does want to learn how to play the accordion because of how much he looks up to Mirabel, and to play guitar because he looks up to his father as much as Dolores does.

Bruno used to always do that thing where he talks through the babies and moves their mouths when the grandkids were babies. Agustin and Felix always found it hilarious, but it took a bit of time for it to grow on Julieta and Pepa.

Mirabel's filter was non-existent for the longest time. When Pepa announced she was pregnant with Antonio, the first thing Mirabel said was "You're having another baby? But you're so old!" Julieta had to explain to her that we don't say that kind of stuff to anyone, even to your own families.

This obviously embarrassed Pepa, only to remind herself that she was the same way and always called Alma "old" when she was ten and Alma got her first grey hair.

Mirabel and Agustin were victims of the classic "four eyes" taunt as kids. This made them insecure about their glasses at the time.

Julieta was the one to reassure Agustin that it was nothing to be ashamed of, and both Julieta and Agustin reassured Mirabel once she was being teased.

Julieta and Pepa used to dress Isabela and Dolores in matching outfits when they were toddlers.

They would later do the same thing with Camilo and Mirabel.

Camilo and Mirabel would sit on their mothers' laps whenever they got the chance. While Julieta and Pepa don't mind snuggling with their children, it still takes a toll on them because of how big they are now.

138 notes - Posted July 8, 2022

#4

Felix: Say "papa"

Baby Camilo: Mama

Felix: No; "papa"

Camilo: Mama

Felix: FUCK!

Camilo: Fuck

Felix: ...

*later*

Pepa: I'm home!

Camilo: Fuck

(Pepa drops her bags and forms a cloud)

Pepa: Who taught you that!?

Camilo: Papa

198 notes - Posted May 30, 2022

#3

Encanto Headcanons Because I’m Bored

Luisa weighed a whopping eleven pounds when she was born. When Julieta tells the story of Luisa’s birth, she would always say it felt like giving birth to three bowling balls.

Julieta’s pregnancies were pretty easy. Luisa was the only exception.

Pepa, on the other hand, all three of her pregnancies were absolute HELL.

The entire village had to create a shelter for every time Alma announced any of Pepa’s pregnancies because of this.

When the triplets were younger, Pepa often talked with a lisp because of her tooth gap. She overcame it by the time she was seventeen.

Every single person in that house snores, A LOT. Casita made note of that and would accommodate Dolores every night so she can sleep.

When Julieta and Agustin were fifteen years old, there was a time they were climbing a tree together. At one point, the branch Agustin was sitting on broke and he broke his arm. It was so serious that Julieta’s arepas couldn’t heal it, so his broken arm took several weeks to heal, cast and all.

The exact same thing happened to Mirabel when she was playing with Antonio and climbing the tree in his room. When Julieta couldn’t heal her with her arepas, she told her the story of when it happened to Agustin. This was when Mirabel realized she was more of a carbon copy of her father than she thought.

When Bruno returned, he asked all six of his nieces and nephews to be his production team for his rat telenovelas. Isabela would be the costume designer, Dolores would help write the scripts and music, Luisa did set design, Camilo would be Bruno’s assistant director, Mirabel would often rotate between costume design with Isabela and songwriting with Dolores, and Antonio would translate and make subtitles.

Watching Bruno’s rat telenovelas became a new family tradition every Saturday night.

Speaking of family traditions, one tradition the Madrigals had since the triplets were little was that everyone would gather in the living room and each family member would rotate every night reading out loud to everyone else.

Camilo and Mirabel would put on backyard plays for the rest of the family all the time and would ask Bruno to help them.

Felix had the hardest time getting Camilo to say “dada” when he was learning how to talk. Every time he tried to get him to say it, Camilo would just say “mama”. This confused him because it was the opposite when Dolores was learning how to talk.

When the kids were little, Agustin and Felix loved to teach them all songs and rhythm games, but Dolores and Mirabel were the only ones that asked them constantly to play a rhythm game with them.

The four of them still sing some from time to time, and Dolores and Mirabel would later teach their own children the same songs and rhythm games.

Agustin and Felix are the MASTERS at tickle fights. Whenever their wives or kids are upset, they immediately get a visit from the tickle-monsters until they can’t breathe.

NSFW WARNING: Julieta and Agustin lost their virginities to each other, but Pepa and Felix had several sexual encounters before they began dating each other. Felix was the first (and only) man to make Pepa orgasm, though.

Pepa ALWAYS used Bruno’s head as an armrest ever since they were little just to annoy him. It’s shown in all their Christmas cards since their gift ceremonies.

Alma was so annoyed with Pepa goofing off the first fifty times taking that first Christmas card and eventually gave up and kept it in. The pose was obviously absent during the ten years of Bruno’s disappearance, but when Bruno came back, so did Pepa’s little Christmas card tradition.

224 notes - Posted March 13, 2022

#2

Encanto Headcanons Part 2

Remember that one headcanon about Agustin and Felix doing tickle fights with everyone all the time? Well, Julieta and Pepa are just as prone to tickling their kids and get their revenge on their husbands whenever they can.

The triplets often fought over one pacifier when they were babies. Alma would purposely give them one pacifier because she found it so entertaining.

Speaking of the pacifier, the reason why Pepa has a tooth gap and Julieta and Bruno don’t is because she was the last of the triplets to give up the pacifier. Alma indulged in this habit for longer than needed just to keep Pepa quiet due to her constant crying. She stopped using it during the day at three, but continued using it for sleep until she was four.

Pepa has told Felix about this when embarrassing childhood stories came up, and he once asked her if she still had her pacifier as a joke. He almost got zapped by lightning that day.

Isabela would put her cacti in other people’s chairs just to mess with them. Camilo found this hilarious and wanted to join in the fun.

The rest of the family became weary after the first ten times and checked their chairs before sitting down every time.

Everyone loves to talk about how Bruno was super close with his sisters and spent so much one-on-one time with each of them, but what about Julieta and Pepa? Well, those girls were just as inseparable, maybe even more. They did EVERYTHING together.

Julieta and Pepa even told each other about their crushes on Agustin and Felix respectively before they told Bruno.

The reason why they’re so close is because they balance each other out so well. Julieta helps Pepa keep composure and helps her stay mature when needed, while Pepa brings out Julieta’s inner child and helps her loosen up, be silly, and have fun.

Since we know that Isabela and Dolores are only a couple weeks apart in age, Julieta and Pepa planned to have their first pregnancies together so they can help each other through it and neither one has to be alone during the process. They even picked out baby names together.

Baby Mirabel was Luisa’s go-to vent buddy when it came to venting about her day or if she needed someone to cry to about being pushed on the playground. You’d be surprised how good of a listener baby Mirabel was.

Everyone loves mama’s boy Camilo, daddy’s girl Dolores, and daddy’s girl Luisa, but honestly, daddy’s girl Mirabel! It explains why they have the exact same klutzy and adorkable personality. Plus, them being the glasses-duo makes it even cuter.

To further expand on that, it’s been a pattern within the Madrigal grandkids that they have a closer bond with the parent of the opposite sex.

Julieta noticed this and felt bad. So, she would take some time out of her day a few nights a week to bond with and get to know her daughters better and suggested Pepa to do the same with Dolores and Felix with Camilo and Antonio.

This eventually led to weekly "girl's nights" and "guy's nights" within the family.

Agustin and Felix were the most frequent guests at their daughters’ tea parties, because we all know they are A+ dads like that.

Camilo is just as bad at keeping secrets as his sister. Remember that Disney Cruise Line commercial with the line "but mommy calls him a little souvenir"? Well, that was ten-year-old Camilo talking about baby Antonio one time at a town cook-out before Pepa and Felix could stop him ("This is my baby brother. His name is Antonio, but Mami calls him a happy little accident").

All the Madrigal grandkids would wrestle Bruno to the ground constantly when they were toddlers. When Bruno came back, they continued this so Antonio can join in the fun too. Bruno doesn’t mind, though, because he knows it means he’s still loved.

322 notes - Posted April 12, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

(Young Julieta and Pepa are going for a walk in the Encanto as they walk past Young Agustin.)

Julieta: Hola, Agustin!

(Agustin babbles unintelligibly. Julieta smiles and Pepa rolls her eyes as they continue walking.)

Pepa: ...You really have a crush on him, hermana? He can barely speak when he sees you. He can get a few lessons from me. I know how to keep my cool in these kinds of situations.

(Young Felix walks by Julieta and Pepa.)

Felix: Hola, Pepa and Julieta!

Julieta: Oh, hola, Felix!

(Pepa lets out the same unintelligible babbling while her weather is out of control. Julieta moves Pepa before she strikes herself with lightning.)

Felix: ...Okay, I'll see you girls later.

(Felix smiles at Pepa and continues walking. Julieta and Pepa stare at each other and Pepa blushes.)

Julieta: (sarcastically) Way to keep it cool.

327 notes - Posted April 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[pagesoflauren]

Seeing Blind Ch. 5

Colin Shea x pregnant!reader

Summary: After a one-night stand, you find yourself pregnant. While navigating your pregnancy, the father of your baby seems to have another task at hand.

Warnings: angst, swearing, jealousy, eventual smut, slowish burn, in-depth descriptions/discussions of pregnancy, descriptions of mafia dynamics, Colin is a little shit

A/N: It’s been a minute since I've written; been going through a lot of mental health issues. I'm still working through them. I hope the next few installments of fics I post can make up for the delays. Thanks @eightcevanscentral.

Main Masterlist

Series Masterlist

The park is crowded, teeming with people having picnics, walking their dogs, and letting their children run loose along the grass and walkways. 

Everyone here seems to be more intimately involved. They hold hands or have their arms slung around their partners in one way or another. If they’re not attached physically, they walk in close proximity to each other. 

It makes Colin and Aly stick out. They look like an awkward pair, staying about half an arm’s length from one another as they search for the picnic area where Aly’s next ex is meant to be entertaining a seven-year-old’s party. 

“There it is,” Colin points out.

It’s the classic picnic-in-the-park birthday party with bright foil balloons, food everywhere, and kids running amuck with water guns and silly string. Parents are day drinking out in the open, not paying attention to whatever havoc their little monsters were creating. 

Colin gulps when he realizes this is in his future. Over-the-top birthday parties for kids who probably won’t remember a single second of it, stupid presents, and mingling with actual adults who know what they’re doing. 

He’s way out of his depth. He should’ve known he was punching out of his weight taking you back to his apartment; you were the only woman smart enough to leave before he woke up. His usual targets are the girls who have only a fraction more desperation than he has. It’s why they stay in the morning hoping for something more and what’s led him to running around Boston tracking down his neighbor’s exes.

“Well, there he is,” Aly’s voice comes, jarring him from his thoughts.

He spots a little wooden theater where two homemade farm animal puppets appear to be arguing. The kids burst into laughter while Colin and Aly exchange a look. 

As the show comes to a close, it doesn’t get any stranger, but it gives Aly an opportunity to say hello while the kids get cake and watch the birthday celebrant open presents.

To avoid looking like a strange man lingering around a child’s birthday party, Colin makes his way to a tree and sits among the roots. He contemplates his impending fatherhood while people watching from his vantage point. 

It’s not just stupidly expensive birthday parties coming. He watches a dad catch his kid mid-fall–it’s that too. He sees another lugging a diaper bag in one hand while his baby flails in his grip, but his hold never falters.

Colin looks at his hands. Can I do that?

At the birthday party, a man mediates a situation between two boys. One boy says something, he looks at the other one. On and on, until the man speaks once more and the boys hug before playing together again. 

Will anyone teach him how to do this? 

He thinks about his own father; Chief of Police in Salem, a well-respected man who produced two sons who have made a name for themselves in their own rights. 

And a third who had no part of his life together, trying to usher a baby into the world with a woman he had a one night stand with. 

“Well, that was a disaster,” Aly’s voice jars him from his thoughts, the ideas rattling in his brain before dissipating like smoke. 

“Huh?”

“Didn’t get much out of that encounter other than the fact that I remember why we broke up.” 

“And…?”

“His puppets creeped me out. Anyway,” Aly pauses as she opens her purse and digs through it. “Here is…twenty, forty, sixty, seventy.” 

She hands him the cash and it crumples in his hands. 

“You wanna grab a taxi back to the building? I need some wine.” 

Colin shakes his head. “No, I’m just gonna head a few blocks that way before I head back.”

“What’s over at ‘a few blocks that way’?”

“Just gotta pick up some stuff,” he says as he shoves the bills in his pocket. “I’ll see ya around.” 

She nods and walks on her way to the western entrance of the park. 

Putting his hands in his pockets, Colin stands up and begins to walk down the path when a male voice catches his attention.

“Hey, Free Licks.” 

Looking up, he finds Mateo, donned in all black with shades perched on his nose. Colin can’t help but note the difference between the two of them again; he was wearing stained jeans and a faded t-shirt.

Colin greets him with a nod. “Detective.”

“What brings you to the park today?” 

“Oh, you know, the sunshine, the fresh air.” Colin inhales through his nose obnoxiously.

Mateo raises an eyebrow. “I see. Well, I was here on business from Y/N, but…when I see suspicious activity, I have to follow up on it, you know?” 

Colin shakes his head, a little incredulous. “What? She’s got you spying on me?”

“Not you, but a point person. BPD business. There was a drop that was meant to happen. You know anything about that?” 

Pursing his lips and raising his brows, Colin gestures “no” again. “Nothing that I’ve seen.”

Mateo reaches into his pocket and hands him his card. “Well, if you see anything, you’ll let me know, right?”

Taking it between his thumb and forefinger, the card nearly falls in his weak grip. Colin doesn’t know what to do with it or why Mateo is giving it to him. “Sure…?”

“Good. See you around, Free Licks.” 

- - - - - 

“I wasn’t expecting you to actually show up,” you scoff with a smile. “But, while you’re here, you can push the cart.” 

You let go and the cart still moves, wheels squeaking as it glides down the aisle and Colin scrambles to get a grip on the handle. When he eventually gets it, he cranes his neck to find you studying the different boxes lining the shelves. 

“What are we looking at?” 

“Changing tables.”

“Like the ones in ladies’ bathrooms?”

“Not quite, but same idea. Just a space where you can store everything for changing a diaper and keep the baby safe while you’re grabbing stuff.” 

“You make it sound like it’s a whole process,” Colin snorts.

You look at him. “You’ve never changed a diaper before in your life, have you?” 

He scoffs, lying through his teeth. “Psh, what are you talking about? Of course, I have.” 

“It’s okay if you haven’t, you know that right?” 

How are you able to see right through him?

It seems his face shows his bewilderment, and you respond to it, “Colin, like I said, I didn’t expect you to do any of this. I still don’t expect a lot from you–not that I don’t welcome this, but because I can do this on my own if I need to.” 

He doesn’t reply. Looking at his face, his cheeks look particularly round like a child’s, casting a sort of innocence on him that doesn’t reflect the person you know him as. He’s goofy and charming, things that attracted you to him in the first place that fateful night when all of this started. Along with that, he’s experienced, but you can see there’s a thought rattling in his mind that his mouth won’t say. 

“Look, whatever your decisions are for doing this—if you’re trying to prove yourself to someone or if you’re putting expectations on yourself–you can’t let that bother you. I don’t know the extent of what I’m getting myself into. This kid could be like me, or they could be like you. But however they turn out, I’m gonna do my best to make sure they live happily. And that’s all you can do: your best.” 

He nods, but you don’t think it’s really getting to him. 

“Maybe I can sign us up for a parent coaching class. I’m sure we’d hardly be the first unusual pair of parents a teacher has seen.” 

His cheeks turn red first, then his ears. He smiles and nods again. “Yeah…yeah, I think that’s a great idea.” 

“It’s a deal.” 

You grab his hand and hook your pinky with his. 

“Now, while we’re here, can you do me a favor and put that box in the cart?” you ask, pointing to the one you want. 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

As he does what you request, you bite your lip and blink slowly. 

You can feel your non-expectations–the ones you still hold on Colin where he’s welcome to do as he pleases–slowly metamorphosize. There’s a flash of him bathed in the morning sunlight, smiling up at a giggling baby he’s lifting over his head. 

“Anything else from this aisle?” 

The image is gone in a puff of smoke, trailing in the air before disappearing completely. 

You shake your head. “No, but I need to go to the next aisle and look at rocking chairs.” 

- - - 

Hauling everything to the cashier for check out, your items are ringed up and bagged while you reach for your wallet. 

“Oh, here…I have this.”

Colin shoves his hand in his pocket, pulling out some crumpled up bills and awkwardly setting them on the counter. Just by looking at it and the grand total of the items on the counter, you know it’s not enough. 

“Colin…it’s okay,” you say, pulling out your card and handing it to the cashier. 

As he gathers up the money, you ask where he got it.

“I did a favor for a friend.”

“And they paid you that much money for a favor?”

Grabbing the last bill, he puts it back into his pocket. “Well, she owes me.” 

You don’t have time to wonder too much about why he’s being so vague, not with the cashier asking for your signature for the payment and asking if you want to join the store’s rewards program. 

With all the items bagged, you and Colin hail a taxi to go back to your apartment. Every once in a while, you consider pressing further, your suspicion a by-product of the analytical mind that got you the position you work in. 

Deciding against it, you send Colin on his way and prepare for work tomorrow. 

- - - - -

You yawn as you exit your apartment, pivoting back to lock the door behind you. 

A flash of blue stuck on your door as it closes behind you catches your eye. When you look at it, you realize it’s a note, probably from one of your neighbors. 

The words become clearer as you reach for the note, peeling it off the surface and reading it.

If you know what’s good for you, you’ll stop.

You huff. Rolling your eyes, you stuff it into your canvas bag–your newly-designated lunch bag ever since your appetite grew so that you could “eat for two.” 

And prevent yourself from rage-quitting your job out of hunger-fueled anger.

Figuring it’s just the young kid on the second floor playing a prank, you head out to work. 

- - - 

“Bebitaaaa,” Mateo sings as he enters your cave of computer monitors. 

He places a hand on your shoulder to straighten your spine. 

“You need to work on your posture,” he remarks.

You scoff. “And you need to pack your own snacks and stop taking from a pregnant lady,” you speak, but are certain he couldn’t hear you over the sound of wrappers crinkling. 

“Speaking of you being pregnant, I ran into Colin at the park yesterday..." he trails off. "What’s this?” 

“Hmm?”

Your chair swivels as you look at him, finding the note from your door in his hand. “Bebita…where’d you find this?”

“Oh,” you exhale dismissively, “that’s nothing. I found it on my door this morning.” 

“And you didn’t think to tell me?”

“Tell you about what? It’s a note. Probably from the little boy upstairs.”

Mateo’s eyes narrow. “How old is that kid?”

“I dunno,” you shrug. “Fourteen?” 

“I don’t think fourteen-year-olds play tricks like this.”

“Just because you didn’t because you were a damn genius who went to college at sixteen doesn’t mean other fourteen-year-olds don’t.” 

“Bebita, I don’t think you understand this. ‘If you know what’s good for you’? That’s a threat.”

“Mateo, come on, after that it says ‘you’ll stop.’ Stop what? If this is a threat, it’s a pretty empty one.”

“We’re in a dangerous line of work, did you even consider that maybe this is a guy from the mob? Or maybe one of them put the kid up to writing the note to try and hide their scent?”

You roll your eyes, “Knock it off, Mateo. There’s no way they know who I am, much less where I live–”

“You don’t know that, you don’t know what they’re capable of–”

“I know what I’m capable of, and I’m pretty sure my work is completely untraceable.”

He’s quiet for a moment, then grabs your phone from the desk. Unlocking it, he swipes through and taps before showing you the screen. It’s Colin’s contact information. His thumb hovers over the call button.

“Don’t make me do this.” 

“Oh my god,” you roll your eyes again, your head lolling back in annoyance as your arms cross. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” 

He taps the button and he brings the phone to his ear as the call begins.

You hear Colin on the other line. “Hello?”

“Hey, Free Licks.”

“Oh, it’s you.”

You snort and Mateo’s eyes drift up in exasperation. “Yeah, it’s me. I’m calling though because Y/N found a threatening note on her door but doesn’t think it’s a big deal.” 

“Wait, what?!”

“Yeah, it said, ‘if you know what’s good for you, you’ll stop.’ I think the mob knows where she lives.” 

“You really think they would?” Colin’s concern comes clearly through the speaker. 

“I think anything’s possible,” Mateo says pointedly, throwing you a look. “But like I said, she’s pretty confident in her ability to be untraceable.”

“But if the note was on her door…”

Mateo nods slowly, smugly. “You get it.” 

“Is she there?”

“Right in front of me.”

“Can I talk to her?”

You take the phone, sticking your tongue out before you speak, “Hey Colin.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about the note when we were texting earlier?”

“Same thing I told Mateo,” you sigh, getting really irritated that you keep having to repeat yourself. “It’s not a big deal, it’s probably nothing.” 

“But it was on your door.”

“I’m sure a lot of people find notes on their doors.”

“Not threatening ones!” Colin says into the receiver as Mateo nearly shouts the same thing in front of you.

“God, how do I turn off the surround sound in here?”

“Bebita, you might take this lightly, but I’m not.”

“Yeah…yeah, and neither am I!” Colin tacks on.

“A woman’s life is most endangered when she’s pregnant because that’s the time she’s most likely to get killed.” 

You’re shocked Mateo would bring that up to you now, placing a hand on your lower stomach. 

“I’m not taking any chances with you, especially with Riona Maher’s arrest at Logan happening earlier this week.”

You swallow, pushing your pride down as you look away from Mateo. You feel like a teenager getting lectured by her father. 

“Promise me if you see anything else like this, you’ll tell me right away.” 

You don’t reply immediately.

“Promise him,” Colin pleads from the phone. 

“Fine, I promise. But only because I’m still pretty sure this is nothing.” 

“I’ll take it,” Mateo sighs. “And Colin’s a witness.” 

“Thanks for including me.” 

Mateo says, “You’re welcome,” as you say goodbye and end the call. 

“I’m gonna take this down to forensics and see if they can pull up anything.”

“You’d be wasting time,” you taunt as you turn back to your computer.

“And I’m driving you home tonight and picking you up in the morning.”

“Mateo–”

“Nothing you can do about it, my mind’s made up.” 

He shuts the door behind him, leaving you typing away as you shake your head. 

I’m the pregnant one, your mind gripes, I should be the one who overreacts to things, not them. 

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Seeing Blind Taglist: @dbnightingale24 @twittytelly @chase-your-dreams-away  @phoenixhalliwell @starlightcrystalline @chalametet @evanswife1918

[dreamwritesimagines]

Burn The Witch 14 - Haunt [Bucky Barnes x Reader]

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful support and feedback my loves ! ❤ Here’s the next chapter, I hope you like it as well and please let me know what you think! ❤ Thank you! ❤❤❤

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: Enemies to lovers, fake dating, mentions of blood, sex, violence, death, manipulation, language, guns, knives.

Summary: It’s always difficult to keep secrets.

Series Masterlist

Well then.

Apparently this was how civilians dated.

You couldn’t exactly say you were very familiar with it. Your line of work didn’t exactly allow you to date and do normal couple stuff, let alone with a civilian. Spies were easier, you didn’t trust them and you knew they didn’t trust you.

Except for missions, you didn’t have any date nights unless they included going after targets.

That was why posing as a civilian was almost a relief. It was simpler, more fun, more peaceful-

Even happier.

“What do you mean you can’t give me a clue?” you asked, “It’s date night, you’re supposed to give me a clue. Those are the rules.”

“I don’t remember any rule like that.”

You slurped on the milkshake, dangling your legs back and forth on the high seat you were perched on.

“Well, how am I supposed to know what to wear then?”

Bucky tilted his head, eyeing your uniform with a grin on his face and you slapped at his arm playfully.

“Are you serious?”

He held up his hands, gesturing surrender. “I said nothing.”

“I refuse to believe you find this uniform hot.”

“Why?”

“Bucky, just look at this!”

“Believe it or not I’ve been looking at it for some time now.”

You rolled your eyes, “You’re so full of it.”

“Oh trust me darling, I’m completely sincere.”

You raised your brows, “How?”

He heaved a sigh and looked like he was considering whether he should tell you or not while you waited patiently.

“When we were—“ he licked his lips, “When—uh, back in the 40s, one of my buddies, he had this poster on the wall of the barrack we were staying in.”

You gawked at him, “A poster of…?”

“A pin up.”

“In this uniform?”

“Almost the same, yeah.”

You let out a clear laugh, “Oh my God, that’s why you reacted like that when you first saw me in this?”

The tips of his ears went pink before he dragged his gaze from yours and you awwed.

“Then it’s only fair if I ask you to return the favor and dress up from 40s.”

“As if you know any—“

“Clark Gable.” You cut him off and scrunched up your face, “Was that too quick?”

“A little, yeah,” he said, “Do you want to try again?”

“….Yes please.”

“As if you know anyone from those times.”

You cleared your throat, trying to play it cool, “I’m just pulling this idea out of thin air, but Clark Gable.”

“I don’t think I can pull off that mustache, Y/N.”

“I mean have you tried?” you asked, narrowing your eyes and he shook his head.

“Stop imagining me with that mustache.”

“You would look good!” you insisted, grinning mischievously and he heaved a sigh.

“Clark Gable? Seriously?”

“Bucky, I’m the one who’s dressed up like a pin up your buddies used to fantasize about, so I feel like you should give me some credit here.”

“Fair enough.”

“Why thank you,” you pointed out, “So? Where are we going?”

“You can ask as much as you want,” Bucky grinned, “It’s not going to work.”

You threw your head back, letting out a whine. “But I want to know!” you said, “Okay, is it inside or outside?”

“Outside.”

“A concert!”

“Not a concert.”

You pursed your lips, deep in thought, “…Flea market. You’re taking me to the flea market.”

He pulled his brows together, confusion written all over his face, “You think we used to go to flea markets on a date?”

“Picnic!”

“In the evening?” he asked and you pouted.

“It would be a romantic evening picnic.”

“Do you want to have a romantic evening picnic?”

You shook your head fervently, “I want whatever you have planned!”

“Nah, I’m putting romantic evening picnic on the list.”

“You have a list?” you asked and he nodded.

“Yep.”

“Can I see it?”

“No.”

You huffed out, making him laugh, “Aw, you’re adorable when you’re frustrated.”

“Bucky!” you whined again, making his smile bigger.

“Yes darling?”

“It’s not fair,” you insisted but before you could say anything else, you heard Tara’s voice.

“Hey lovebirds,” she said, “I hate to interrupt because you two make a beautiful couple, but your break is almost over and I’m going to need some help at the freezer.”

Bucky’s body tensed up beside yours but only for a second, and you pressed your lips together.

Right. Freezer probably didn’t bring up good memories.

“I can help if you want?” Bucky said slowly and you shook your head.

“Nope. Company policy, only staff can go in.” You leaned in to peck him on the lips, “What time will you pick me up?”

“Around 8:30.” He stole another kiss from you and stood up, “I’ll see you tonight.”

“See you tonight!”

“Have a nice day Tara.”

“You too Romeo,” Tara said as he left the shop and you followed her to the freezer.

“He is so whipped,” she commented, making you grin, “And so are you.”

Your jaw dropped, “Hey!” you said as you helped her with the chocolate milkshake container, “Not nice!”

“I can already picture how cute your children will be.”

You almost dropped the container at the mention but managed to catch it and pull yourself together.

“Oh I don’t think…” you trailed off, trying to ignore the pang at the pit of your stomach, “I don’t think he wants—um, I don’t think we—“

“Aw you really are cute,” Tara said, “Come on now. Are you telling me you never thought about a future with him?”

The image that flashed in front of your eyes was almost taunting you but you bit inside your cheek, then shook your head.

“My last relationship ended really badly,” you explained, “And Bucky has had a rough couple of….”

Decades.

“Years,” you said, “And everything is pretty complicated, I don’t think that’s possible.”

“Well, do you want it to be possible?”

You pushed your hair back and grabbed the nearest set of jars to put them on the shelf one by one, just so you could keep yourself busy.

“It doesn’t really matter what I want,” you heard yourself say, “It won’t make any difference in the future either.”

                                         ***

“A funfair,” Chloe looked up with a bright smile on her face as soon as you jumped up to sit on her desk. “He’s taking you to a funfair.”

“Wait, really?” you let out a laugh, “Oh that’s cute.”

“Who knew The Winter Soldier could be romantic?” she said, “I’d probably swoon if someone took me to a funfair.”

You could swear Keith appeared out of thin air behind you, “What?”

“Holy shit!” you exclaimed and pressed a hand over your chest, “Don’t sneak up on me like that!”

“Who’s swooning?”

“Barnes is taking Y/N to a funfair,” Chloe said, “Isn’t that romantic?”

“You find funfairs romantic?”

“Yeah!”

“Keith,” you raised your brows, “Aren’t you busy?”

“Nope, General is talking to Julian so I’m not busy at all.”

You heaved a sigh, “My meeting with him lasted like an hour, how did he let you go so fast?”

“Easy. I’m not the team leader.”

You sipped your coffee, crossing your legs and Keith grinned.

“So, did you tell her yet?”

Chloe frowned, “Did she tell me what yet?”

“Why Barnes stayed over at your place until midnight last night?”

“Y/N!” Chloe gasped, “You promised we would go lingerie shopping before you slept with him!”

“First of all, I didn’t sleep with him, and second of all, Keith nosey neighbor much?”

“It’s literally my job Y/N.”

“What happened?” Chloe asked, barely able to sit straight as Julian walked past you three to check his laptop on an empty desk near Chloe’s. You gritted your teeth, and turned to Chloe.

“Hm?”

“You have to tell us!” she said and Keith laughed.

“At least give us a base.”

“Second base?” Chloe offered and out of the corner of your eye, you could see Julian clenching his jaw.

“Nah no way,” Keith said, “The guy hasn’t been getting laid since what? 40s? Third base.”

No bases. None at all, Bucky was a gentleman and seeing that you were quite shaken up last night, he had just held you while you two watched that ridiculous action movie until you could calm down a little.

He hadn’t even asked any questions.

“Do you think he—“

“Y/N,” Julian’s voice cut through Chloe’s, “Can I talk to you for a moment? Alone?”

You pulled your brows together, “About what?”

“The mission.”

You eyed him up and down, then shrugged your shoulders and made your way to the nearest empty room, which happened to be a meeting room. He followed you inside and closed the door behind him as you turned around to look at him, already dreading this conversation.

“So?”

“So General agrees with me.”

Your head shot up, “I beg your pardon?”

“He agrees that it was quick thinking on my part when Barnes walked in on us arguing,” he said, making you grit your teeth, “Granted it wasn’t idea, but we can turn it around to work on our advantage—“

“Bullshit,” you cut him off, “Are you serious?”

“To repeat, an ex-boyfriend creates an environment of competition,” he said, making you scrunch up your nose in distaste.

“Unbelievable,” you said, “You know, just because General doesn’t see through this whole façade doesn’t mean you fool everyone else in here.”

“What façade?”

“Oh give me a break!” you let out a humorless laugh, “This whole teammate trying to be helpful bullshit. You don’t think anyone but yourself, you’ve proven you can’t be trusted and you want to take over this mission.”

“I couldn’t take over this mission if I tried,” he pointed out “I’m not Barnes’ type.”

You rolled your eyes, “Oh look at you, you got jokes now.”

“Just saying, I wouldn’t look as cute in that uniform.”

“Fuck you.”

“Y/N—“

“You’re not taking over my mission.”

“I’m not trying to take over your mission,” he explained patiently, “I’m trying to help you, is that so hard to believe?”

“I think we both know you couldn’t care less about me,” you said, “As that last mission proved.”

The amused, taunting light in his eyes was dimmed in a second as he gawked at you, brows pulled together in confusion.

“What?” he asked after a beat, “You think I don’t care about you?”

You let out a laugh, “I’m sorry, is that a trick question?” you asked, “You sure as hell didn’t care back then.”

He ran a hand over his face, “I think you and I remember that last mission quite differently,” he said, “I did what I had to do—“

“Uh huh.”

“I thought you would do the same,” he insisted, “Y/N, I was trying to get us out of there, just because I beat you to it—“

“I would never!” you snapped at him and he shook his head.

“Have you ever thought maybe that’s a problem?”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Why do you think the General put me into this mission?” he asked and you shrugged your shoulders.

“Are we going to pretend you’re here to do something else other than spying on me and reporting it back?”

“No, that’s not my mission,” he said, “I’m here to make sure you don’t do what you always do.”

“What, nailing the mission?”

“Running headfirst into danger,” he said, “You ran into world’s most dangerous assassin whom you’re playing the honeypot for, and any other spy would get the fuck out of there but what did you do? You taunted him. Twice.”

“Well I hate to break it to you, but I know Bucky better than you or the General—“

“You mean the Winter Soldier?”

“…Yeah,” you corrected yourself, “Yeah I know the Winter Soldier better than you two do. Better than anyone here.”

“It doesn’t matter,” he said, “I don’t know who told you otherwise, but not your every decision is right on missions. You keep taking unnecessary risks because you think it’s fun.”

“Maybe. But hey, at least I don’t leave people to die.”

A muscle in his jaw ticked and he closed his eyes for a moment as if it was way too difficult for him to hear and opened them again.

“I didn’t leave you to die, Y/N.”

You scoffed, “Alright,” you said, walking to the door, “We’re done here—“

“Are you sleeping with him?”

Your hand on the doorknob froze and you looked over your shoulder, “I’m sorry?”

“Are you sleeping with Barnes?”

“Who wants to know?” you asked, “You or the General?”

“Does it matter?”

“Yeah. If it’s you, I can ask why it’s any of your business.”

He shifted his weight, suddenly dragging his gaze from yours.

“I just…” he murmured, “I don’t like it.”

You paused for a moment, trying to wrap your head around the idea before you clicked your tongue.

“Well that’s a relief,” you stated, “I don’t give a fuck what you like.”

With that, you swung open the door and left the meeting room, not even looking back once.

                                    ***

In your defense, when you went to bed for a nap you didn’t think that 15 minute nap would turn into a whole two hours. You were still groggy by the time you woke up and your hair was a mess and you still had no idea what to wear and—

You were starving and way too thirsty.

You stretched out as you walked to the kitchen, still trying to pull yourself together but it was already dark outside so it was making things even worse. You flipped the switch and opened the fridge to grab the water bottle, uncapping it and taking big gulps. After you were done, you took out two slices of bread and peanut butter and jam, then quickly made a sandwich to take a bite. Leaning back, you let out a sigh and eyed the gun on the table.

You had a feeling the General would send you on another night mission soon.

You took another bite of your sandwich but your head shot up when you heard the doorbell ring and you almost dropped the water bottle but caught it mid-air.

“Shit…” you whispered and grabbed the gun to put it in the kitchen cabinet, and placed the sandwich on the plate, then made your way to the door to open it.

A fond smile pulled at Bucky’s lips as soon as he took in your disheveled appearance, “Hello there Dracula.”

“I’m so sorry,” you tried to fix your hair, “I…I was taking a nap and then I didn’t hear my alarm and—“

“Don’t worry about it darling,” he said, “You look beautiful.”

“I look like a mess,” you corrected him, scrunching up your nose and stepped aside so that he could walk in. He pulled you closer to peck you on the lips.

“Hi.”

“Hi back,” you smiled up at him and made your way to the kitchen with him following you suit.

“I’m just going to finish this and then I’ll get ready in like ten minutes, promise!”

“Not a problem,” he said as you jumped up to sit on the counter, dangling your legs, “If you want to stay in tonight—“

“No no!” you interrupted him, “I want to go to…um, wherever it is we’re going. Do you want some?” you held up the sandwich, “I could make you one too.”

Bucky stepped closer to you to take a bite of your sandwich, making you giggle.

“I mean do you want your own?”

“You’re not good with sharing?”

“Nope,” you shook your head, still smiling as he put his palms on the counter either side of your legs, caging you in.

“No?”

“Nuh uh.” You said, then leaned in to peck him on the lips again before you pulled back to take a bite out of your sandwich.

“How was your day?” you asked, and he heaved a sigh.

“Mm, uneventful.”

“Uneventful can be a nice change.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah I mean…at least your ex doesn’t show up out of nowhere,” you paused for a moment, “Or in your case, doesn’t escape from nursing home.”

He chuckled, his thumbs caressing the soft skin of your legs, making you distracted for a moment as the warmth filled you again.

“Did he visit you again?”

You tried to focus and looked up at him, “Hm?”

“Julian.”

“Oh,” you made a face and shook your head, “No. No but something tells me that wasn’t the last time I saw him.”

“Really?” he said, “I still feel like the next time he shows up you should let me know so that I can—“

“I already know what you’re going to say, and no.”

“What was I going to say?”

“Some macho showdown nonsense,” you said with a laugh, “Seriously. I can take care of myself.”

“I know you can,” he said with a sigh, “But the guy said and I quote, he would take you away from me, so forgive me if I want to have a talk with him.”

You rolled your eyes, “No one is taking anyone from anyone,” you said, “Number one, we don’t live in Stone Age. Number two, I’m quite happy with who I am dating now.”

A small smile curled his lips, “Are you?”

“I mean,” you heaved a dramatic sigh, “I would be happier if my date told me where we’re going but can’t win ‘em all.”

You pressed a kiss on his cheek and jumped down.

“Okay, I’ll be ready in a couple of minutes, knock yourself out,” you said, “There’s beer in the fridge if you want.”

“Thanks,” he said and you walked to your bedroom to open your closet, then grabbed a dress and put it on. After quickly doing your make up, you found the lipstick you were looking for and started applying it.

“Darling do you have a bottle opener?”

“Yes, it’s in the kitchen cabinet!” you called out and checked your reflection in the mirror before your mind caught up to what you had just said. Panic crashed into you, knocking the breath out of you and you dropped the lipstick to rush to the kitchen.

“Bucky wait—“ you started but as soon as you saw the open cabinet, your stomach dropped. He looked at you over his shoulder with a frown on his face, then turned around and held up your gun, making you swallow thickly.

“So,” he said, his gaze pinning you to your spot. “Anything you would like to tell me?”

Chapter 15

[flashflashhundredyarddash]

batkids and their relationships with their siblings headcanons. under read more because this got fucking LONGGG

dick

dick is the eldest so he doesnt want to bog down his younger siblings with his problems, but if he DOES, he tends to talk to jason about it

dick and cass start to really begin to bond when Cass shows up to dicks gymnastics class for 3rd-6th graders and then cass shows up all the sixth graders and they get frozen yogurt after lmao

dick and tim are Very much thick as thieves. tim is very much like bruce on the Emotional Suppression scale, so dick just really wants to make sure his little brother is safe and happy ALL the time

Duke and Damian are the only two really permanently at the manor anymore, so when dick drops by he tries to do something with both of them. duke frantically zoom calls dick every other week to help him with his his trig homework. dick shows up to dukes high school graduation with literally the BIGGEST SIGN

everyone insists damian is dicks favorite but he does actually genuinely love all his siblings equally, his relationship with damian is just Very different from the others because of the age gap and being dami's primary caretaker for a year. dick babies dami every chance he gets

jason

would sell Dick to satan for One corn chip

him and cass don't have the greatest start to their relationship because cass is very much Against Killing so it takes a while for jason to warm up to her and earn her trust. now, though, jason is competing with steph by showing cass all the classic American Teenager things she missed out on. steph is currently winning but jason is like 98% positive a crunch wrap from taco bell is going to push him over the edge

tim and jason are currently competing over who can solve the most cases in a month. tim is winning. that won't last long.

jason Loves to Big Brother duke its so embarrassing. duke will get out of school and go to his car and jason is SITTING IN THE FRONT SEAT FRANTICALLY WAVING TO GET DUKES ATTENTION. JASON THAT IS MY CAR. signal has one (1) mission with arsenal and arsenal goes hey did you ask that girl to homecoming yet and duke is like I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU.

Damian is proof that Actually, Little Brothers are Pests. Jason fully believes that he was brought back from the dead PURELY to torment damian and he will fulfill this mission at any cost

cassandra

it actually really upset her when Dick didn't accept her at first. she knows her other siblings really adore dick so his lack of trust was really disheartening. it takes dick a while but once he Actually Accepts that cass is going to be a permanent part of their life and oh, wow, dick you really hurt her feelings he really hyperfocuses on bonding with cass for a couple of months which definitely improves their relationship

she really likes jason!! their relationship doesn't start well but because he's close with steph and tim who are cass's top two favorite people to exist ever, cass is like well i GUESS ill hang out with him more. jason is fun to talk to because he always tries his best to explain jokes and give context to what people are talking about (also tim took her to taco bell already but she didn't tell jason she just wanted to hang out)

cass LOVES tim. they just click okay. tim always seems to know when to give her space and when to push and come closer. Tim's "guest room" is just her room lets be real. tim and cass occasionally get mistaken for twins and Cass Loves it.

duke makes cass listen to metal once and cass loses. her. damn. mind. they bond over music a lot because they both Love Music to a degree the others in their family don't.

damian!! damian is her little brother!!! dami isn't As Hostile to cass at first because he is 100% aware cass has the edge in fighting and respects her. cass likes all of his instagram posts and they have a snapchat streak going

tim

tim Loves dick, dick was his first sibling!! he had Very strong hero worship when he first met dick but it mellowed out when tim got older because wow 17 is really not that cool and mature lol. tim has an open invitation to dick's apartment which he does occasionally take advantage of. tim has more than once scared the shit out of wally when wally comes over and wally is convinced they're being robbed (HA) for half a second. i mean. he's not wrong.

listen. tim understands that forgiving the guy who tried to kill you would be a Struggle for some people and it was! definitely! but also at least he can trust jason to, uh, be open about if he doesn't like tim. which is not an assurance he has with other people. so if the guy who tried to kill him tells him tim is cool now then like. maybe tim isn't that bad or annoying a person? also jason arrested a whole gang and won the cases competition but then it created a power vacuum that the whole batfam had to clean up the rest of the month. thanks, jason.

tim LOVES cass. you know how most of the time theres this empty feeling inside you and you just kind of ignore it because you don't know what will fix it or if you do, you know you can't fix it? cass makes that empty feeling feel a little less empty. they just click. tim always tries to travel with cass whenever she leaves gotham.

tim and duke. Tim is actually the sibling who duke goes to whenever he has questions he doesn't want to ask bruce or alfred about, like, life or vigilante-ing or school or college or whatever and Tim is always like yes!! i love Giving Advice and Solving Problems!! tim and duke and jason fill out their college applications together.

tim and damian. LMAO. ROUGH START THAT'S ALL ILL SAY. at some point alfred goes like fuck it. family therapy. and tim and dami are PISSED. tim and damian get along best when they have a common enemy to work against. their relationship gets much better when damian is older and they actually talk about their feelings like emotionally stunted bats. despite how bad their relationship was, tim will ALWAYS protect damian

duke

very much intimidated by dick at first. dick is so much older and has his own job and friends and life and is very much AN ADULT. dick likes to take duke out to do lots of cool stuff (paintball, lasertag, tech exhibitions, concerts, etc). also, dick PERSONALLY introduced duke to superman and is dating THE FLASH. 10/10 awesome big brother.

was intimidated by jason for 0.5 seconds before jason actually opened his mouth and started speaking. jason is literally. So Embarrassing. which is weird because nobody else really seems to feel that way about jason but duke knows he's 100% in the right here. like yeah jason is also An Adult and does Adult Stuff but he's also at the manor like every other weekend???? and he always complains about bruce but always seems to be in the same room bruce is in????? like okay jason. they bond over literature!! jason and duke and alfred will spend literal hours talking about books and duke loves it. duke is the only one who doesn't think jason is funny and jason gets so upset about it lmao.

cass has this one week where she gets really into photography and by virtue of being nearby (and also not nocturnal), duke becomes her victim subject. duke prints out all the pictures and hangs them up in his room (his favorite is one he took when he stole the camera and took a really bad selfie of them together).

tim is closest in age to duke so duke tends to hang around with him a lot. tim introduced duke to his young justice friends and duke is like yes!!! meta-friends!!!! tim really helps duke out with his powers because tim is always like wow i wonder if your powers would work if we did This? can you see farther than other people? is your visible spectrum of light different than other humans? Bruce does the same thing but bruce is boring about it lol.

damian and duke live in the same house and will be in the same room and just send each other social media posts back and forth. they follow each other on instagram and will, OCCASIONALLY, make tik toks together because they're tik tok fiends. each of his siblings have visited his parents once or twice but damian routinely comes with him.

damian

damian gets a special bullet point to say that it took him. forever to come around to the idea of having siblings. he very much believed that he was Bruce's Blood Son and everyone else were just tagalongs or allies. it took him ages to acknowledge that dick, jason, tim, and cass were his siblings, so when duke came and like a week later damian was like Ah, Yes, this is my brother Thomas everyone else was like dude wtf

listen. LISTEN. Obviously. Richard is very highly skilled. and also Father values him highly. and also Richard will listen to Damian complain about his schoolmates. and also Richard is much more patient with Damian than other members of his family. listen....,,, (all this to say damian kind of fucking adores dick lmaooooo this kid).

Todd is kind of unbearable but damian has been informed this is both a normal feeling when it comes to Todd and also big brothers. damian was an only child for ten years so yes, Father, if Todd attempts to tickle me I WILL break his fucking nose. yes i WILL put money in the swear jar but I want you to know i don't regret it. they always try to sneak up on each other but mostly fail.

DRAKE!!! but no lol once damian grows up and is like I Apologize for attempting to murder you it was wrong and you are just as much a son to Father as I am tim is like UGH i guess its cool since ur being so emotionally mature and all. also im 2 for 5 on siblings trying to murder me so im definitely going to win trauma bingo and damian is like i take it back you are insufferable. When Will My Older Siblings Stop Joking About Their Trauma.

CASS!!! listen. cass is cool. Cass Gets It. They have a special Bond. also damian really likes it whenever cass is home because 1) he gets to hang out and do something cool with cass and 2) he feels significantly safer with cass in the house because Nobody will be able to hurt any of their family if Cass is there. ALSO he tries to call her cain but everyone is like DONT DO THAT and he doesn't want to call her wayne bcus theyre ALL wayne (dick adds it on as a middle name but also Richard John Wayne West-Grayson is just. the lamest name ever so dick needs to reconsider it before his upcoming nuptials)((dick will not reconsider it except maybe whether grayson-west would work better)) and so he tries cassandra but cass is like :) call me cass and damian is like cassandra is more formal and respectful and cass is like :) and finally damian just has to give in.

Duke! him and duke actually live together so they get the Most Bonding Time and have a bunch of inside jokes as a result. (is it bad i wanted to laugh because inside jokes... joker... i'll see myself out). they're eating breakfast together (and also alfred sits with them IM NOT A MONSTER ALFIE'S LIKE 70 NOW OKAY) and duke laughs and bruce is like what are you laughing at, son? and duke is like oh damian just showed me this funny meme and then he shows the phone to bruce and bruce grabs it (both the boys groan) and after WAY TOO LONG is like "i don't get it" and so now duke and damian have to try and explain the comedic intricacy of bob's burgers

[moxfirefly]

I have to thank @southernblossoms for this one, she got evil!Leo in my brain and he hasn’t left ever since.

TW: Violence, Gore, Blood, NSFW content below

Rated Explicit (18+ years)

“She said I'm looking like a bad man, smooth criminal

She said my spirit doesn't move like it did before

She said that I don't look like me no more, no more

I said I'm just tired”

Leonardo always knew there was an inch inside of him that was darkness.

If left alone and unchecked, it would spread. Fester like some disease and he feared that someday he’d allow it to course through his body so freely.

And let it win.

It seemed today would be that unfortunate day. A night like any other, just more bloodshed than necessary. But hey, who said they should go and kill his father? Torture him to such an extent and string up his body for his brothers and him to find.

In that very moment that inch had grown in his soul to a degree that it blinded him. All he knew was to destroy, to hurt and erase those who had done this. He felt so cold, hands cupping his fathers motionless bloodied feet, the gentle tapping of blood and the cries of his brothers echoing in his ears.

So when Leo stood, bloodied (not bathed in his own), holding the head of the monster responsible, how could he regain peace? This had only brought a momentary second of reprieve and it was so fleeting. He looked into Shredder’s lifeless eyes, numbness spreading but a need that had started out as an inch. A need to kill everyone who had been part of this, directly or indirectly.

They all deserved so much worse.

They all deserved death.

Slow and torturous.

He had disappeared after that night. His brothers knew that this was the end of their leader, of their beloved brother who wanted to believe that good in this world could prevail.

For them they never imagined that Leo would just let the darkness take hold of him, nestle him with such a loving embrace. For him to embrace it right back felt justified, for his brothers it painted the gory picture of things to come.

They never expected to meet him in the opposition. To view him as foe and not family. Leonardo had quickly taken hold of the scum of the earth. He had molded the darkness to serve him.

Raphael thought Shredder was their worst enemy.

He never expected to have Leo claim that spot in a matter of months.

The Foot had fallen under his ruling, and he wasted no time in setting examples, and the bloody path those examples left behind never seized to churn the brothers stomachs.

There was no means of bringing him back, and perhaps it’s for the better.

Because whatever has eaten away inside of Leonardo cannot simply be flushed out of his body, nor ripped from his very soul. The body counts too high by now as he strays further and further away from what he was taught.

From what his father taught him...

_______________

You run with the unsavories. An eat or be eaten mentality that has caused you to survive years and years of gang wars and mutant freaks. Not like you’d throw about that last bit, much less when you’re standing single file, close to pissing yourself because he’s there.

And Christ he’s a sight to behold.

A rumor, a legend, a monster.

You tell him you’ve got valuable info, you know where to follow the trail that’ll lead to success. Even when your partner tries to push his chin up in front of Leonardo, you’re already wincing at what his demise will be shaped in.

Leo really loves cutting heads off.

A strong emphasis on loves.

You swallow, eyes flying anywhere but the rapidly growing puddle of blood that approaches your feet. Even then, your eyes stray towards the newest leader of the Foot, Leo punctures his katana into the head, a crude skewer as he lifts it and examines the severed body part as if answers lie in the gush of blood that falls. Those dark blue eyes move on you, you swallow.

He walks over to you, blade in hand, blood tap tapping onto the ground “Your information” Leo’s voice is weightless, bored almost. You motion towards your pocket, the crumpled up note with a poorly drawn map the key to your salvation. Leo reaches his hand in and you’re still, stiff and frightened by the intrusive touch and his proximity.

He pulls the note out and examines, the ghastly expression of horror on the decapitated head so close you can smell the coppery scent. “Can you get more of this? The coordinantes?” You crane your neck to look at him, his stature imposing. “Yeah, I’m your girl for that shit, swear on it” He flicks the blade and the sound of the head rolling makes your stomach flip flop along with it.

You feel the tip of a bloodied katana on your chin.

“Don’t make me cut off such a pretty head, hm?” You want to nod but the blade digs and Leo’s mouth twitches in something akin to a smirk. The small cut to your chin stings, but you wonder why other parts of you vibrate.

The danger, the adrenaline, Leonardo.

_____________

Your next meeting doesn’t quell your nervousness. Leonardo is an impressive sight as always and it’s imposible to ignore that maybe you won’t make it out alive every time you both meet. Unless proven useful, which you take to heart. You bring all sorts of information, names, rumors, possible gangs wanting to take him on, the police. Any word you heard in regards to him.

“It’s possible they might try to meet you half way, catch you off guard” The warehouse is chilly, that fall weather starting to hit but Leo’s unfazed, the black tails of his mask move with the gust of winds. “Stupid of them to assume that” The second floor of the warehouse seems to be his own, leaving the rest of the crew bellow. He sits on the windowsill, cloth running up his katana, it had been bloody when you were brought in.

“I’m just repeating what I heard, I’m sure you’re more than adept to take them on” You stick your hands in the pockets of your jacket, you’d been frisked not like you were stupid enough to bring a weapon to this.

But then again, the more he polished that sword, the more you wished you had something.

“What else have you heard? Any word on Karai?” The woman in question had appeared to have disappeared into thin air after Shredder’s death and Leo taking command of the Foot soldiers. Wether she planned to reclaim what was hers or if she had simply quit was beyond you and anybody else. “Nothing on her, she might’ve skipped town or the country” You offered, eyes following the sword as Leo placed it on a nearby table.

“She strike you as the type? A coward?” He walked over towards you, his expression so eerily unreadable.

Yet, your eyes wandered over him. Over muscle and scales. Overs scars and bruises. That illogical part of your brain making you wonder and fantasize, because fear could be exciting.

There was something exciting about Leonardo.

“Well?” He was in front of you, looking down at you. It hits you how minuscule you must look to him.

“Probably plotting? You did murder her dad” You find his eyes, you swallow.

“Well he murdered mine. Eye for an eye...” He spoke gently almost.

“Makes the whole world go blind” You finished for him, and maybe that was stepping on a line but you noticed the corner of his mouth twitch up. For a brief second you catch his eyes scan yours, move across your face and settle at your lips.

Passed your neck, towards your breasts.

He turns around and grabs his sword.

“One week, find more info on her, your pay is downstairs” You’re dismissed and before you process anything a Foot soldier is ushering you downstairs and shoving an envelope in your hands.

That night you dream about what your lips might feel like against reptilian scales.

—————————

Karai’s whereabouts are practically unheard off. If there was a trail it had run cold months back and judging from the word of mouth being passed around there wasn’t anything sustainable. You dig up anything and everybody. Every dirt bag with an agenda, ex Foot soldiers, opposing gangs, the mob and just about anybody you have in your radar.

It yields nothing.

You can’t return to Leo with nothing.

Rubbing a hand across your tired face, you make your way through the back alleys of the city. Your one week was coming up and all you had were weak possibilities and baseless assumptions. In your line of business enough information to create doubt can go a long way, but this was conspiracy levels bad.

So you thought and you thought quick.

Pulling out your phone you called him first. Perhaps a dumb move but at the same time you figured it showed that you were trying. You asked if the two of you could meet, the line briefly went quiet before your text tone startled you. He hung up and you were met with the address of a building in Brooklyn and to go up to the roof.

To say you were scared was to put it lightly.

You were shitting yourself.

The roof of the building had a green house which seemed unused but it looked like it was being kept up with the vegetation still green and alive. Your hand made for the door knob but something you could only name as a sixth sense made you freeze.

Leo was there, the shift in the atmosphere was impossible to deny. Your turned and blinked.

Wherever he had been, it must’ve been worse. There was blood on him, a fresh gash by his arm and the steady drip drip of blood hitting the concrete. “Jesus are you...?” You knew he was ok, but whomever had been on the receiving end of this had it by far much worse.

“Inside, go inside” He motioned for the green house and you did. Your eyes scanned around hoping to find something to help with. There was a nest of sorts in a corner, several blankets and cushions, a table and a chair amidst the plants. You found what you were looking for near the bonsais, a shelf with a box of first aid. Leo went towards a counter with a basin and a jar of water, he went about cleaning the gash on his arm.

You approached him with the box of first aid, blue eyes were cautious as you took out antiseptic and gauze. Leo had turned to face you, giving you more room to work on his arm as you bandaged it. “You alright?” Your voice held hesitation, Leo’s questioning gaze turned to amusement. “I’m fine, what I want to know is why you wanted to meet” You finished bandaging him and took a step back.

Pick your words wisely, you thought with a slight shutter.

“Listen I’ve spoken with any and everyone who might have any clue but Karai is off the radar”Swallowing a lump in your throat you shrugged off your jacket, worry manifesting in heat. “I know this isn’t what you wanted and I’m really fucking good at my job but this bitch is either underground or who knows! Dead for all I know!” The exasperation and worry was clear as day, he either took this the right way or the wrong way.

Wrong way being you end up pushed off this very building, at best ironically enough.

Leo swallowed the information, clearly bouncing it around his head. The dry specks of blood scattered across his green flesh. An odd silence fell amongst you both and even when he rose in all his imposing glory you kept your eyes focused on him. Getting a read on that cold calculated gaze of his was hard enough.

Your throat feels painfully dry once he has you backed up against the wall. Something about dying alone with not even an audience to witness it didn’t sit too right with you.

But then again, Leo’s large hand gripped your neck, nothing too tight but enough to alert you to its presence. Those blue eyes looked haunted but just beneath that laid something you couldn’t just place your finger on. The tips of his fingers lightly caressed you, one of them fascinated with your quickened pulse. You can’t blink, unsure what may happen and when he dips down your adrenaline makes you flinch.

Leo halts his movement, his blood feels like it’s pumping loudly enough for you to hear. Wide eyed you lean up instead and ghost your lips against his, Leo sighs through his nostrils and it stays that way. A pull but not enough of a push because there’s still fear in your blood and a hesitation that you can’t put a name to from Leonardo.

Your phone going off startles you, nearly making you jump out of your skin and to a fraction of your dismay Leo takes a step away. One of your contacts name flashed on the screen which meant there could still be some good news. Your turned away to speak, pulling a marker from your pocket you write down some information on your forearm. It’s a quick conversation and once done you turn to see Leo putting together his gear again.

You bit your lip, whatever was about to happen would just have to take a back seat. ‘Fucking coward’ you can’t help but think about yourself.

“One of my guys says he might have it on good authority that Karai is still here” You watch him turn his head to listen, even if he’s got his back/shell to you. “Well?” He pushes while adjusting his swords.

“He says she might’ve just met up with...with one of your brothers” Tense doesn’t even begin to explain what his body did, the mear mention of his family was a sore subject and you had been warned to not even attempt to open that can of worms. Swallowing and feeling your throat stick from how dry it felt you see him pull out a key and toss it to you. “Send me that address, you’ll get your money at the warehouse” You barely manage to catch the key to the greenhouse, but still you raise a brow at the offering.

“Come back here when you’re ready” Is all he says about it, confusion is painted on your face but when he moved to leave he takes a moment to hold your chin. “Don’t make me regret this” He says and before you can attempt to ask he’s gone.

You stay there, twenty minutes or so in nothing but your thoughts and his words swimming around your mind.

Feeling heat between your legs and a lick of frustration consuming you.

_____________

Two weeks you contemplate the key in your pocket.

Two weeks you let your thumb hover over his number but never press down.

For two weeks you find your pillow between your legs, trying to reach the sensation he managed with just his body close to yours.

But nothing.

It’s not enough.

New York is covered in rain as you make your way through the sea of people. Regardless of the many umbrellas you still get soaked and by the time you’re up on that roof, hand digging out the key to the green house you’re drenched.

Inside you shake off the excess and remove your jacket. The cold hits you and you can’t help but feel silly that you’re here, maybe this is his way of taking you out, you’re not needed anymore by now you assume.

You turn on the few lanterns that are scattered through the room. Kicking off your boots you rub your arms and shiver, flesh breaking out into goosebumps as the door creaks open once more.

Leo’s equally drenched when he steps through, the black tails of his mask sticking to him. The two of you just stare at one another, steady drips of water and the rain outside picking up more strengh.

Carefully you watch him begin take apart his gear, leaving his katanas by the door. He’s trying to keep your apprehension at low levels, his steps slow and soft. You let your arms fall to your sides and as your heart tries to hammer out of your chest you don’t flinch this time, even as his hands go for the hem of your long sleeve. You take a deep breath as his eyes wander across your now exposed flesh. The fascination goes straight to your core, feeling yourself warm up as his hands rest on your stomach.

With trembling hands you unbutton your jeans and step out of them and the inhale Leo takes as he closes his eyes makes you reach for him. He holds you against him and sighs, large frame shuddering at the feel of your skin against his reptilian one. He buries his snout against your neck, breathing harder as his hands run all over your back and rear. Leo grips and kneads the flesh and a groan escapes against your ear that makes your wrap your arms around his neck. He feels the softness of your breasts against his chest, he’d be a liar if he said he hadn’t been dreaming about them for months now.

You can’t wrap your head around it but he feels just as you fantasized about him. The roughness of his flesh, the edges of his shell and god his teeth nip at your neck with a growl. Wiggling out of his hold you start to undo whatever else needs to be taken off and Leo can’t help but smirk at your frenzied movements. He allows you to undress him, he’s gutted when your hands land on his waist as you start to kneel before him.

“No, no, kiss me first” He cups your face and presses his mouth against yours and that’s it, you’re done for, you’re hooked and can’t go back now. His kiss is possessive, forceful and it drowns every thought in your brain.

You pressed against one of the tables with the many Bonsais when Leo’a tongue slithers into your awaiting mouth. He sits you down on the table and nudges your legs apart to fit himself in between them, you crane your neck up losing yourself in his kiss. He can taste rain water, feels the sweat and rain mingle on your skin. God he wants to run his tongue all over you, eat you whole if he could.

It feels like forever when he pulls away, reluctance in his body. Blue eyes search into your e/c eyes, he wants to see something maybe your fear so he denies himself falling into this rabbit hole. Your hands press against his plastron and gently you run your nails down the hard plates, you shake your head fascinated by the texture. He’s rough but strong, a marvel of a species.

With some difficulty you managed to push your underwear off and spread yourself again for his viewing pleasure. “I want you,” You nodded, eyes falling to the hard length between his legs. Leo wraps a large hand around it and pumps slowly, body shivering at the sensation. “God I fucking want you so bad” You feel him come back to you, mouth on yours in yet another harsh kiss.

The tip of his cock nudges against your wet heat and he bites your lip at the sensation. Leo pushes into you so frustratingly slow, even as his girth stretches you to a point you’ve never been before. You want him inside of you now, and Leo couldn’t agree more. He bottoms out inside of you with a lengthy groan, head thrown back in ecstasy. “You feel... so fucking good” He growls out through gritted teeth, hips picking up speed as you wantonly take him in. You press your lips to his chest and moan with each slow but pronounced thrust of his hips.

His hand finds itself at the back of your head, grabbing fistfuls of your hair to keep your gaze on his. The slight tug burns so good and you can’t help but keep your pleasure filled gaze on his own. Lips parted you let him rock into you steadily until his thrust start to slam into you. The sensation spreads all over your body, little shocks of pleasure rocking your body.

“Mine, you’re going to be mine and only mine” He voices lowly, a threat laced in his passion. You’re too far gone to speak, nodding aimlessly at his every word, moans falling from your lips. “Nobody will own you like I do, nobody will touch you, Y/N? You understand? I’m making you mine” He pressed his forehead to yours, lost in this feeling.

“Fuck yes, yours, I’m gonna be all yours” You lick his lips and when he reaches a hand between both your bodies your mind goes blank. A vicious shudder overtakes you as you muffle a scream against his jaw. He fills you up so good and so warm with a strange vibration that sounds like an endless growl. Each rope he pumps into you making his eyes roll back. You’re shattered against, limp and raw throat from the scream that leaves your mouth.

He watches your come down, hand against your cheek, thumb running across your lips. When he pulls out just enough to watch his essence cascade out of your pretty little hole, he pumps himself back into you. His eyes say it all, from here on out whatever your life was up to this point is over and done with. Leo nuzzles you still lazily pumping himself in you, blissful to the little tremors your cunt produces around his member making him harden once again. Picking you up, bodies still joined, he makes his way to the nest of blankets on the floor.

You hold onto him, all you can do is hold onto him.

____________

It’s rather odd to be in this position. With an entire year that’s passed it never seems to feel normal, not that you’re complaining though.

Being in a position of power by proxy has its fucking fun rewards.

For example nobody in this city will ever contemplate taking you out. Unless they want a very pissed off Foot Leader to set fire to the city and maybe even the world. From opposite points to now standing at his side. No one is to address you as below them, or touch you or let alone breath the same air you do.

You can still hear the bones that were cracked when one particularly unruly Foot soldier made snide comment about you. Each crack of the mans arm being slowly twisted until his arm broke still rang in your ears to this day. Leo hadn’t flinched, hadn’t even scowled even as the twist turned to pulling the limb off.

He did in fact fuck you hard against the glass windows of the hotel suite he had you both in. The copper scent lingering on his scales, but enraptured with the heat enveloping his cock.

With the city at war everyone had began to run amok to do their own barbaric things. Each part of the city divided between gangs, mobs, mutants, police and civilians. You were out on active Foot duties, you were still free to do as you pleased but with protection and Leo demanded your whereabouts on the hour due to possibilities of abduction.

He knew you were a weakness.

But did he give a shit? Of course not. Let them try, he hasn’t needed an excuse for his tyrannical acts thus far, but if harm did ever befall you, you only wished you could witness what his methods would be to exact his revenge.

And he was so familiar with revenge after all.

You admire yourself in the full length mirror, examining the body that training under Leo has provided you. The mutant terrapin in question comes up from behind you and wraps his strong sculpted arms around your waist. You can’t help but smirk as he rest his chin a top your head. “We’re heading out in half an hour” He mumbles against your hair, enjoying the scent. You watch through the mirror as his hands rub up and cup your breast, with a sigh you rest against his strong build. “What’s on the agenda tonight? Purple dragons?” You feel him shake his head, fingers dipping inside the cups of your bra. “Mob,” Is his sole reply.

You bite your lip, gripping his wrists. “We’ll be late” You try to muffle a moan as he tweaks a nipple, he grinds against your backside. “I’m killing them regardless, and I much rather have the scent of your cunt on my hands while I listen to their boring excuses for parley” Your knees buckled when you felt his hand slither inside your underwear, finger already parting your lips and humming as he feels how wet you already are.

You feel his other hand wrap around your neck, keeping you upright and your gaze on the mirror as his finger dips into your welcoming heat.

He engulfs your every thought, every sensation; and what’s the fate of the world when you’ve got him? He chose you just as much as you chose him. You’ve never considered yourself good, scumbag street rat who just happened to make a living amongst the other scumbags. But this? With Leonardo and the trail of bloodied heads he’s left behind, it’s hard not to be excited to see gasoline be poured on the city. He trails his lips to the shell of your ear and you can’t help but grin.

“Mine” He says.

Burn everything.