#ted lasso source

[batfamgalore]

*After Jason and Bruce get into a huge fight*

Dick: What did you do?

Jason: What do you think I did?

Dick: Punched him. Headbutted him.

Jason: Keep going.

Dick: Did you murder him?

Jason: No. Worse. I fucking forgave him. It’s disgusting, isn’t it?

[incorrect-spiderverse]

Miguel: "What the fuck is your problem?"

The rest of the spider-gang : *Awkward silence*

Pavitr, out of nowhere : "Oh! wait, I know this one! It’s you!"

Hobie:*high fives Pavitr*

[trentcrimmisgay]

i’ve been clearing out old screenshots in my camera roll but i have ted lasso brain rot so you all have to see what they made me think of (part one. more posts)

[milfloverobisanya]

isaac: where's coach beard?

roy: oh, who knows? i don't even know where he lives.

jamie: he doesn't live at ted’s?

colin: i’ve always pictured him in a lighthouse

[incorrecthatchetfield]

Charlotte: could you tell them to stop yelling at the football game?

Emma: football? they're watching last night's bakeoff.

Ted: look at that sponge!

Bill: that's rubbish!

Paul: temper your chocolate!

[atorionsbelt]

🩷🩷🩷ROYJAMIE BIKE SHARING🩷🩷🩷

[team-iceflower]

Oscar: Everything okay Ruby?

Ruby: Uh yeah, Weiss just texted me. Apparently um, Snow got bullied at school this morning.

Yang: *deep inhale and looks at her watch* If we leave RIGHT now we and take the connecting flight through Haven, we can be in Vale by noon and that PUNKS HOUSE WILL BE IN ASHES BY 12:30!!

Blake: No no, the best thing you can do with bullies is ignore them. Then, you sneak into their house at four a.m. which statistically speaking, is the hour which people are least prepared to defend themselves.

Yang: Correct.

Blake: Once you're standing over them, as they sleep in their bed, you start to beat them. With a thick. Heavy. Rope. Soaked in red paint, pummeling them over and over and over until they wake, confusing the paint for their own blood. When they beg you to stop, you laugh, as loud as you can for as long as you can. And then, you start to beat them again.

Oscar: *drops his mug*

Ruby: Hm... yeah. *looks at Yang* Yeah I might just wait until I get the details from Weiss and see what actually happened.

Blake: Oh alright, fair enough.

[incorrectafcrichmond]

Ted: Okay, give me your hair dryer.

Keeley: What?

Roy: What are you talking about?

Ted: Don't you carry one in your purse?

Roy: Have you ever met a human woman?

Ted, on the phone: Hey, do you carry a hairdryer in your purse?

Rebecca: Of course. I'm not an animal.

[caslutz]

Jamie: I think I'm dating Roy.

Keeley: What?

Jamie: I'm not sure. It's just a possibility. I could be wrong.

Keeley: But how? When?

Jamie: Well, we spent the entirety of Ted and Trent’s wedding together and it was really nice and we had a really good time. We laughed a lot and we ate and then we danced.

Keeley: Danced? How? Was it a fast dance? Slow dance?

Jamie: It was a slow dance, a waltz. Roy can waltz.

Keeley: Roy can waltz?

Jamie: Roy can waltz. 😏

Keeley: …Look how you just said 'Roy can waltz.’

Jamie: What? I'm just saying, I'm surprised that Roy can waltz.

Keeley: That sounded more like 'I'm surprised I still have my clothes on.’

[lunar-years]

Ted Lasso won the GLAAD award specifically because of the Trent & Colin conversation in Sunflowers, btw.

[batfamgalore]

Jason: And then, at the gala Tim told Bruce that I was the one who broke the vase.

Dick: And he’s still alive?

Jason: Yeah. Instead of beating him to death, I fucking forgave him. I’m still fucking furious about it.

[incorrect-spiderverse]

Peter B Parker: "Okay, Miguel, you won’t like this, but at the moment, Hobie is actually being the more mature one"

Miguel: (growls scowls angrily)

Hobie: "Yeah I’m being super mature you big, dumb, hairy, baby twat!"

[its-a-show-stoppin-number]

Inej: Kaz, if you die, do you want to be buried or cremated? Like, if you were hit by a wagon today, what do I do?

Kaz: Go after the wagon driver and make him pay for what he did to me.

Kaz: Avenge me, Inej. Avenge me!

Inej: I found this company, and they bury you in a biodegradable sack. So when your body decomposes, it fertilizes the seeds of a fruit tree.

Inej: That's what I want. Because then you and all the people that love me can eat the fruit from my tree.

Kaz: That is fucking mental

Inej: Coming from the guy that wants me to ruin a wagon driver's life just 'cause he killed you swerving to avoid a child.

Kaz: I didn't know about the fucking child.

[military-newsboys]

Slider: What would you say motivates Mav? Ice: Blowjobs. Slider: …Is there a second option?

[milfloverobisanya]

ted lasso + headlines

[fuckmewithyourtoespj]

jamie tartt in ted lasso 3x03, “4-5-1″