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sailorsoons · 5 months ago

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Vengeance (c.hs)

PAIRING: Vernon x f. reader

SUMMARY: You always knew you were different from a young age. The only person who has ever been able to understand you is Vernon. When things take a turn for the Choi Syndicate, your long-term relationship is put to the test.

WC: 21,528

AU: Mafiaverse, Cyberpunk, Childhood Friends/Exes to Lovers

GENRE: Smut, Heavy Angst

RATING: 18+ Minors are strictly prohibited from engaging in and reading this content. It contains explicit content and any minors discovered reading or engaging with this work will be blocked immediately.

WARNINGS: Because of the nature of this fic, I have placed them under the cut. Please read them carefully before engaging with this fic.

A/N: This fic is a part of my Syndicates Collection. This will the second installment under the Syndicate Universe, but you can always read this fic on its own. I hope everyone enjoys Vernon’s story as much as they enjoyed Hoshi’s!

A/2: Thank you @daechwitatamic for being an amazing beta reader. I love you to the moon.

Warnings: Because I am trying to overwarn due to subject matter, please read these carefully! General violence associated with criminal empires and criminal underground, mentions of murder and depictions of murder, depictions of punishment from parent to child, depictions of attempted murder (reader’s mother to reader via drowning, vernon’s father to vernon via choking), themes of religious trauma, themes of dealing with a parent that experiences undisclosed/ambiguous religious psychosis, mentions of dealing with a parent who is fighting addiction, kids arguing and getting into a fight (it’s honestly kind of funny, not violent at all), depiction of patricide (cool motive, still murder), heavy internal angst for reader/repressed feelings, grieving the loss of a loved one, explicit language, references to drugs and recreational alcohol use, Vernon does drive a motorcycle after drinking - it is implied he’s using a stimulant to combat that, some puppy love scenes/vernon and reader making out and being teenagers, brief interrogation scene where reader/Soonyoung are harming someone (stepping on their fingers) for information, explicit sexual content including oral (f. receiving) mild ass play, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, implied breath play, reader experience something adjacent to subspace post-sex.

GOD DOESN'T LIKE STRANGE GIRLS.

Well, you don’t know what makes you strange and you’re not entirely sure you believe in God. You’re only eight, and even though your mother prays to Him with a reverence reserved only for him, on her knees until they’re bleeding, her body shaking with exhaustion, you don’t think you want to believe in God.

God is the only man your mother loves. For you, it’s your father. You can’t understand how your mother can pledge herself so wholly to someone she can’t see, someone who doesn’t seem to do much for her.

Your father is tangible and real, and he does everything for you. He takes you to school in the mornings, he brushes your hair, he buys you the books you need for class, he protects you from her, when she is screaming that you need to purge your sin for Him, that you should prostrate for Him, that dirty nails offend Him.

Uncooked grains of rice bite into your knees. You try to maintain your balance, not wanting to shift on them any more than you have to. Every time you wobble or try to adjust to lessen the pain, it only gets worse.

Behind you, your mother’s voice comes out in staccato, her murmurs feverish: No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

The sin this time were the honey cakes the neighbor brought over for your birthday. They were perfectly golden, flaky and brown on the edges and moist on the inside, filling your mouth with sweet, honey flavor. They’d left your fingers a little sticky, the corner of your mouth a little flaky.

You’d only eaten two of them when your mother discovered you in the living room, shrieking when she saw you indulging. Coveting. Full of gluttony.

Licking your lips, you shift on the grains of rice. It stings, making your eyes water. Your shoulders ache, neck tight where you hold your hands behind your back. Time moves inexorably as you kneel there, the prayers for your mother’s God washing over you as you pay penance for a sin you don’t understand.

When the front door opens, you nearly weep with relief. Salvation is here, and it isn’t in the form of God shepparading his followers into heaven. Relief comes in the form of your father storming toward where you kneel, picking you up off the ground and asking your mother what she’s doing.

Deliverance comes when he gently wipes the grains of rice from your knees while you sit on the bathroom counter. He rubs a rag softly over the dimpled skin, wiping away a little bit of blood where the grains cut through the flesh. He applies a salve and presses a kiss to your head, apologizing.

“Do you want to open your gifts, Angel?” You nod eagerly, forgetting all about the honey cakes that your mother threw out or the pain in your knees.

Your mother sleeps in the bedroom, muttering feverishly. You and your father creep out to the kitchen where he lets you open the boxes in the privacy of four walls. He leans against the counter as you tear open the crinkling wrapping paper, liking the way it feels beneath your fingers, the way it crackles, like it’s telling you a secret.

Popping the lid to the box, you reveal a beautiful gold necklace. The chain is thin but feels strong. It’s long and on the end, there’s a flattened coin charm with a figure of an angel etched into the face. You rub your thumb on it, mouth opening and grinning.

“Do you like it?” Your dad asks. You nod your head early and he laughs. “Here, let me put it on.”

You hand it over to him and he loops the necklace around your neck, fastening the necklace. When he pulls away, his grin is bright as the sun. “An angel for my Angel. As long as you have it on, I’ll always be with you and it will protect you.”

Your mother has her God, but you have yours. And you’re his messenger, his follower, his angel.

“You are a demon!” Your mother shrieks, her voice raw and cracking. You ignore her as she leaps at you, slamming the door shut and holding it hard. She twists the knob but you hold fast, pulling your weight against the door so she can’t open it. “Demon! Demon! Scourge of the earth! You are the darkness! God will prevail against you! He will rise up in his righteousness-”

“Is this bathroom taken?”

Looking over your shoulder, you see a boy around your age looking at you. He’s standing a few feet away down the hall, fingers twisting together nervously as he looks at you and then the rattling door. He’s pretty, with soft brown hair that hangs in his dark eyes. His face is round and his cheeks are flushed pink from hiking up the stairs.

“Um,” you look at the door as the pounding subsides, followed by wailing. “Yeah, you can’t come in here. I’m sorry.”

“Do you know where there’s another bathroom?”

You shake your head. “I don’t live here. It’s Daddy’s friend's house.”

“Your dad is friends with the Tower too?”

You nod and he smiles. “Me too. I’m Hansol, but everyone calls me Vernon. Only my mom calls me Hansol ‘cause I love her.”

You give him your name and pause before adding, “My dad calls me Angel.”

Vernon grins. “I like it.”

“Thanks.”

He glances at the door. “Do you need help? I can keep you company.”

You blush. “No, I’m okay. Thank you, Vernon.”

Vernon toes the ground for a second, the tip of his shoe creasing the carpet. He tucks his hands in his pocket and chews on his lip before he bows a little and says, “Well I’m going to find another bathroom. It was nice to meet you, Angel.”

“You too, Vernon.”

When he walks back down the stairs, he pauses halfway to look at you. You’re watching him with a grin, butterflies in your stomach when he grins back and waves again before descending the stairs back down to the party - where you’re supposed to be, instead of containing your mother as she cries on the other side of the door.

The party had started off fine with her smiling and having a good time. Somewhere between the first drink and her last, she felt Him again, dragging you to the bathroom to make you choke up the shirley temple you’d had.

Gluttonous. Greedy. Indulgent.

Unfortunately, your father had been busy somewhere with the Tower and some of the other men. He has no idea she dragged you to the bathroom for one of her episodes. But even at nine, you know how to fight her off now. She gives up just as easily as she starts, so if you can trap her long enough, usually she’ll scream herself into exhaustion.

It’s not a good look. Even as a kid you know this. Parties are an important social setting for members of the Choi Syndicate, especially when they’re held at the Tower’s home. The Tower is the most important member of the organization, the boss, the king - that’s how your dad describes it. The Tower is owed loyalty and reverence, and being invited into his family home is very important.

As a Sword, your father owes his loyalty to the Choi family. You don’t know what a Sword really does, other than it’s supposed to be exactly what it sounds like - a weapon. Your dad doesn’t talk much about his work, but on nights like tonight, he’s on duty circulating the party while you and your mother attend as guests.

Well, you were supposed to attend as guests until your mother felt the call of God again. It wears on you, having to constantly be responsible for her. You’ve missed so many parties holding her hostage in a room and away from eyes, trying to protect yourself but most of all, protect your dad. If people knew… you don’t know what would happen, but you feel the need to hide her anyway.

That’s how your dad finds you, leaning against the door and half asleep. He sighs heavily, crouching down as you blink up at him. He touches your cheek lightly and asks, “Ready to go home, Angel?”

You nod and he grins, scooping you up and tucking you against him. Your savior comes at last.

Afternoon sun bakes on the back of your head. You reach up, pressing your palm to your scalp, feeling the warmth. Sweat slicks your back and behind your kneecaps, running down your legs and making you squirm as you look around the yard, uncertain.

The yard is filled with tables, beautiful floral centerpieces in each of them. Flowing ribbons decorate the backs of the chairs with balloons tied to each, their center filled with dancing lights that look like butterflies. Servants move about the party dressed in all white to match the birthday theme, holding silver trays with various confectionaries and fizzy drinks.

Adults filled the yard but there’s a good dozen kids around your age. You only know some of them - specifically the birthday girl, who is the daughter of the Tower. She’s in the far corner of the yard, crouching down near a pond to look at turtles with a round-cheeked boy you don’t know.

Worst of all is the heat. It is sweltering outside and though there are powerful fans circulating cool air around the yard, nothing is enough to reach you through the layers of fabric your mother has stuffed you in, gushing about how you looked like God’s perfect angel, dressed in white and covered to the eyeballs in fabric.

“Hi, Angel.” A soft voice makes you turn and you can’t help but smile when you see Vernon. It’s been a few weeks since you last saw him, but you’re delighted and a little shy when you wave. He looks at your dress and frowns. “You’re very frilly. And… covered.”

That you are. The dress is beyond itchy, the white material reading all the way to the middle of your hands and the collar up to the jaw. You are covered from head to toe in the white, restricting material, the skirts of the dress falling in layers of chiffon to the floor.

You huff and cross your arms, feeling the sweat drip down your neck and back. “My mom made me wear it. I hate it.”

“Do you want different clothes? I have a room here. I bet I have pants and stuff that could fit.”

That makes you brighten. “Really?” He nods. “Yeah, that would be cool. I hate this dress.”

Vernon beckons you toward the main house. There are multiple houses on the Choi property, which has more land than you’ve ever seen. Even the concept of a yard blows you away. The Choi family are the kind of rich that is confusing to you, but you like going over to their house, especially when it’s not busy.

“Why do you have a room here?” You ask Vernon, who opens a door. The security team lets him, ignoring him as he enters the house proper. “I thought it was just the Choi family.”

“It is but sometimes…” He trails off as he leads you through a massive living area toward a foyer with stairs. “Um, it’s hard to explain.”

“That’s okay. That’s cool, though.”

He nods. “Sometimes.”

“Only sometimes?”

On the second floor, Vernon leads you down two different carpeted hallways until he stops at a door, opening it up. It’s a nice room, if not a little simple. It smells like clean linen and there’s an AetherLink in the corner with a paused game.

Vernon walks over to the closet, opening the door. The lights turn on automatically, showing how deep the rows and rows of clothing goes. You raise your brows, trailing behind him. Your house is a decent size - and it’s impressive you live in a house, not an apartment - but this is something else.

Grabbing stuff off the hanger, Vernon hands it over to you. He’s given you white pants and a white flowy shirt to match the rest of the party. You take it tentatively, feeling how soft the fabric is between your fingers.

“Sometimes I fight with Seungcheol,” Vernon admits. “He’s older and thinks he’s the boss. His mom doesn’t like me much.”

“Tell them to shut up.”

Vernon’s mouth twitches, an almost smirk. “Yeah, maybe. The bathroom is there if you want to change.”

The bathroom is just as grand as the rest of the house. You change quickly, folding your dress and tucking it into your arm, coming out to stand hesitantly. He’s leaning against the dresser, hands in his pocket as he stares at the ground. When you come out, he gives you a small smile and holds out his hand for the dress. You give it to him and he puts it on his dresser before turning to you, appraising your outfit.

“Hopefully you won’t sweat to death now.”

Your smile is small. “Thanks.”

“Do you want to see the turtles?” You nod early, pressing your sweaty palms against your pants - Vernon’s pants - to dry them. “Come on.”

Afternoon sun beats down on the back of your neck as you lean over the turtle pond. There are so many of them, their shells have different shapes and sizes with bellies that are different colors and patterns. Your knees press into the dirt, uncaring if you stain them as Vernon does the same.

Vernon knows all about the turtles. He picks up each one delicately, letting it grow accustomed to him before placing them in your palm. He tells you their names, their scientific species name, how old they are, when they came to the Choi Estate, and their likes and dislikes.

It’s like a bubble has formed around you. The party continues onward, but you only have eyes for Vernon, who picks up a small turtle, cradling it in his palm. The turtle is dark green, with thin yellow striating its body and coral red spots blooming on its head. It cranes up to look at Vernon, blinking twice.

“This is Blush,” Vernon says gently. He brings his other finger up and runs it along the back of its shell delicately. It flinches for a second before it extends its neck upward, as though it wants more. He smiles and continues, eyes fixated. “She’s the newest turtle added to the pond. She’s a red-eared slider, which is why she has this red here. Baby named her Blush.”

“I love her blush.”

Vernon smiles. “We’ve had her for a month. She’s part of the emydidae family which has about fifty species. Her scientific name is trachemys scripta elegans and she’s a type of pond turtle like the others. She’s my favorite.”

“I can see why.”

“Do you want to hold her?”

Before you can answer, a shadow falls over you. Both of you look up to see the Tower’s eldest son standing over you, his arms crossed and a frown on his face. Vernon’s reaction is instantaneous as he quickly puts Blush back on her rock and wipes his hands on his pants, making them damp.

“You missed singing happy birthday,” Choi Seungcheol snaps. His voice wavers right between adolescence and that first crack of puberty. “And of course you’re with the fucking turtles.”

“I was showing her… sorry.”

Seungcheol’s eyes go to you. He drinks in your outfit and his frown only increases, making you feel on edge. You don’t like that look on his face, like he’s annoyed with you. He doesn’t even know you.

Turning his attention back to Vernon he says, “Get up. You’re going to have to explain to my mother who kindly bought you those clothes why you let some girl stain them.”

“Alright.”

You look at Vernon, remembering what he had said early about Seungcheol sometimes talking to him like he was the boss. Irritation comes alive in you, thinking of all the times your mother has done exactly that despite her not being the boss of you either.

Turning to Seungcheol you say, “You don’t have to be mean about it.”

“What?”

“Do your ears not work? You don’t have to be mean to him. He was being nice to me and you’re just being rude.”

Seungcheol’s ears go red and he clenches his fists. “I don’t have to be nice to him. I’m the son of the Tower-”

“You’re not the Tower though, and even the Tower is nice. My dad says he’s nice. You’re not.”

“Angel,” Vernon mutters, a warning tone to his voice.

“No,” you tell Vernon. “He’s not being nice to you and you didn’t do anything wrong.” Your mother’s face swims in your vision, the way your knees bleed when she makes you kneel on grains of rice, the sting of a switch against your back when she punishes you. “You’re not supposed to be mean to people who didn’t do anything wrong.”

Something you say makes Seungcheol’s face thunderous. You watch the darkness cloud over him, his eyes darting to Vernon. The older boy sees something there that you do not, because he goes from angry to full of rage in moments as he crouches down to eye level, looking at Vernon who has ducked his head.

“This little bastard knows what he fucking did wrong. He was born.”

Vernon doesn’t move. His breathing is heavy and you see the way his fingers grip his pants, bone white with ferocity. He doesn’t dare look at Seungcheol, who is looking at Vernon like he wants to hit him - like he might hit him. It’s exactly how your mother looks at you for drinking a soda that your dad got you, or how she looks at you when you read a book on the couch.

But Vernon doesn’t deserve it. Vernon who was nice to you in the hallway when other people ignored you. Vernon who gave you a change of clothes because you hated yours. Vernon who knows all of the names of the turtles in the pond because he sees them as friends.

Looking at them, all you see is you kneeled in supplication while your mother’s shadow looms over you, dominating. Final. Hateful.

You barely remember leaping forward to tackle Choi Seungcheol. One minute you’re a shaking, angry mess and the other you’re on top of him screaming at him, hitting him with little closed fists that can’t deliver any real damage.

Seungcheol thrashes under you, several times your size and strength as he manages to knock you off of him. He rolls over on the ground, nose crimson where you landed a single good punch on him. He yells at you but you can barely hear him through the high-pitched ringing in your ears as the rage turns into something all consuming, something you can’t stop, something that makes you want to hit and hit and hit -

Someone knocks you over. There is a high-pitched screaming before you realize that the birthday girl is on top of you, pulling your hair in a rage for attacking her brother. You push back at her, all your rage exploding as the two of you scream like feral cats. You pull anything on her that you can - hair, her dress, earrings - it doesn't matter. You yank and yank until someone is pulling the two of you apart.

The dark-haired boy that was with Seungcheol’s sister earlier is pinning you to the ground. You thrash in his hold but he’s strong, keeping you down until suddenly he topples over as Vernon crashes into him, sending him to the side. Now Vernon is the one yelling, he and the boy rolling over as they fight for dominance like you and the girl moments before.

A booming adult voice startles you as they shout, “Enough!”

Vernon and the other boy scramble to their feet, covered in dirt and grass and blood. Both of them bow deeply at the waist, unmoving as a man approaches. Around him, the adults part like the river at the prow of a boat. He’s dressed in an all white suite with a single, obsidian brooch on his lapel in the shape of a mountain.

The Tower.

Behind him is your father, and another man you don’t recognize but looks identical to the boy Vernon had tackled, all high and round cheekbones with intense eyes glaring down at the miniature version of himself. You assume he’s the boy's dad, and by the way he’s dressed, you know he’s important to the Choi family.

“All of you,” the Tower instructs. “In my office. Now.”

“Yes Tower,” you all echo in unison.

Seungcheol is the first to march after his father, spine stiff. His sister is right on his heels with the other boy right behind her. He looks over his shoulder once to scowl at you, a warning that you don’t understand before he quickens his steps after her.

Vernon sighs heavily, looking after them before he turns to you. “Come on.”

The party goes on without you all and the birthday girl. The strings start again and the adults go back to talking, some of them giggling as they watch your group of stained and bloody kids trekking behind the Tower of the Choi Syndicate into the estate.

Some of the ground floor is familiar to you. You pass through living spaces and darkened hallways with old fashion sconces before you reach a parlor room with two guards standing on the outside. Both of them look at the Choi siblings fondly, one of them leaning over to check Seungcheol’s nose before smiling and patting him on the cheek.

Inside the Tower’s office smells like leather and sweet tobacco. It’s not unpleasant but it’s unfamiliar to the heavy incense and myrrh constantly choking the air of your home. Books line the walls behind a sitting area with big, leather armchairs and an old coffee table made of rich wood.

You kind of like the room, looking around at all the strange gadgets and things unfamiliar to as the Tower clears his throat. He leans on his desk casually, crossing his arms over his chest as the five of you line up, looking at the floor underneath the heavy gaze of the Syndicate leader.

All you know about the Tower is that your dad loves him. He says he’s like family, and that out of all the men in the world who could lead the business to greatness, it’s Choi Moojin. He comes from a long line of powerful men, firm and powerful as the mountain that their name draws its meaning from. Married into the fire and wrath of the Hino family, the Choi’s have been unstoppable since he stepped into his father’s position as Tower.

And now you punched the boy who is supposed to grow into a man and replace him.

It’s a bad look. You know it is, and you don’t know how much trouble you’re in, but you would do it again. Vernon had been so soft-spoken and gentle when showing you the turtles, pointing out every detail he liked about them, listening when you asked questions.

No one listened to you when you asked questions. He did. And Seungcheol had wanted to punish him for no reason, to make Vernon feel small, to make him-

“Explain,” the Tower commands, voice rough. He points to Seungcheol. “You first.”

“That crazy little girl hit me!” he exclaims, pointing at you. “She tackled me like a savage-”

“You were mean to Vernon!” you explode, unable to keep silent. “He was showing me turtles and you were being a jerk and you hurt his feelings!”

Both Seungcheol and his sister start screaming at you, though the third boy and Vernon both stay silent as the grave. The Tower interrupts his children again, raising a hand to silence him. They fall into line immediately, bowing their heads as an apology.

The Tower looks at you and you cower, dropping your eyes. “You’re like your father,” he notes, though he doesn’t sound too angry. “Which is probably a good thing. What did Seungcheol say to Hansol that made you tackle him, hmm?”

“He called him a bastard. And something about not liking that he was born.”

There’s a heavy pause in the air. No one breathes, all of you waiting as the Tower deliberates. Finally, it’s his daughter who murmurs, “What’s a rastard?”

Suddenly, the Tower is laughing. You’re not sure at what but you glance at him from the corner of your eye to see he doesn’t look as imposing as he had earlier. Next to you, you feel Vernon relax. His shoulders drop, less tight and his mouth twitches a little.

“You kids,” the Tower sighs. “All carbon copies of your parents, I’m afraid. Seungcheol, I want you to apologize to Hansol. You know that wasn’t kind, and you’re the son of the Tower. You know better than that.”

Seungcheol nods and turns to Vernon, giving him a full ninety degree bow. “I’m sorry for insulting you and being impolite. I was… angry. It’s no excuse.”

Vernon bows a little. “I accept.”

“Now how,” the Tower says to his daughter and the boy next to her, “did the two of you get involved? Soonyoung?”

The boy next to the Tower’s daughter shifts. “Baby got mad that she,” he spits the word out toward you, “punched Seungcheol. So she started fighting with her and I tried to pull them apart. Then Vernon hit me.”

The Tower looks at Vernon, surprised.

“I was scared he was going to hurt Angel.”

“I see. Angel, is it?”

“That’s what my dad likes to call me.”

The Tower smiles and nods. “Were you just protecting Hansol?”

“Yes. He’s nice and… doesn’t deserve to be punished for being nice.”

“You have good character, Angel. Hansol needs someone to watch over him. I’m glad he has you.”

A flush goes through you, white hot. You don’t really know what he means, but you’re pleased nonetheless. You glance at Vernon to see him fighting a smile, his fingers nervously pulling at the threads of his ripped shirt.

“You all might not know it,” the Tower announces, “but you’re family. Your parents are my closest confidants, my secret-keepers, my best friends. You all will be like us, one day. Sometimes we fight - fighting is good for the spirit. But at the end of the day, we apologize, we make amends, and we move on. It is important to do those things, yes?”

“Yes, Tower.”

“Everyone make amends. You’re bound to one another for life. Start acting like it.”

Vernon cradles a tablet in his lap, the diagrams and charts to his math homework hovering above the screen. He sighs, shaking his head as he uses his fingers to spin the hologram around, watching it intensely. The light turns his face blue, reflecting in his dark brown eyes. It makes his freckles stand out more, the light smattering of them dusting the tops of his cheeks and his nose.

There’s a bruise on his jaw again. It makes you shift uncomfortably. Vernon’s dad doesn’t hit him, but his mad rampages influenced by the number of substances he’s prone to get into every now and again make him difficult to contain. As the only other man of the house, it’s Vernon’s job to do so.

At least, that’s what Vernon says. You’re not so sure, hating each time you find a random bruise on him, another badge of honor at containing his father’s tirades now that he’s too young to hide at the Choi Estate.

You’re supposed to be doing homework alongside Vernon, but you can’t take your eyes off of him. The windows are open to the rain, an occasional blast of wind coming in and misting the room with the smell of lotus blossom and petrichor. It’s nice, the steady drip drip drip of the rain on the roof a pleasant backtrack to your studying session, which feels like it has stretched on forever.

In time with your thoughts, Vernon stretches. You watch the way he reaches his arms upward, sleeves constricting around his biceps which have become corded and strong under Soonyoung and Seungcheol’s careful tutelage at the gym. His shirt pulls up a little with the stretch, revealing a stretch of smooth, pale stomach.

Flustered, you snap your eyes back to your homework. You should be thinking about history, not Vernon’s stupid stomach or his stupid arms. Both of which, at twelve years old, have become insanely distracting for you.

Gone is the little boy who taught you about turtles, replaced by a very cute boy that you cannot stop staring at every time you do homework together.

Thunder rolls in the distance. You look up at the ceiling as though you could see the darkening sky through it. Outside, the wind swells, growing stronger as the full strength of the storm nears. Still, you don’t close the windows. It keeps the room cool in the summer months and you like the scent and feel of the rain.

A bang startles you at the front of the house. You whirl around in your seat, Vernon’s head snapping toward the entryway where your door is open, blasts of rain coming in. Paper goes flying around the house as your mother stands in the door, soaked and shaking. She’s staring right at you and Vernon, her eyes wide, mouth open.

A chill comes over you. It has nothing to do with the rain. You murmur for Vernon to stay exactly where he is as you peel yourself off of the couch and approach her slowly. She’s dressed in her temple clothes, the fabric sticking to her wire-thin frame. Her hair is pasted to her face and she’s panting, nearly frothing at the mouth.

She looks like a wraith coming to take your soul.

“Mom?” you ask, tentative. Her eyes dart to Vernon. Back to you. Your stomach sinks. “It’s just Vernon - you know, the Chwe’s son? He’s just here for homework.”

“Whore,” she hisses, her voice demonic. “Filthy rotten whore, sinning in my house?”

“No, we’re doing-”

Her hand reaches for you. You’re fast, but she’s like an adder, striking your wrist and latching on. You yank your hand back as she storms into the house, ripping you after her. You stumble and Vernon shoots to his feet, throwing his homework to the side.

“Call my dad!” You yell at him as your mother hauls you to the hallway, her hand like an iron claw on your wrist, threatening to break it. Her anger feels like the wrath of god, but you know her god isn’t real. Only yours is, and you need him now. “Please, call him!”

“Whore!” your mother screeches, launching you through the bathroom door. She lets you go as you fall forward, slamming into the bathroom tile. It jars you, pain blooming in your shoulder particularly. You cry out, unable to stop it as she climbs over you. “Whoring in my house! In the presence of God! O forgive me Lord, for she is wretched and foul!”

“Stop it!”

“I will cleanse the sin from this house, I will rid thee of this loathsome woman, who dares to perform filth under your reverent eyes!”

Her fingers tangle in your hair and she pulls. You scream, shoving at her. She is soaking wet with rain, dripping on you and turning the tile slippery as you thrash under her like a fish. Your scalp screams as she yanks you toward the bathtub, strands of your hair coming out with the ferocity.

Your head smacks the side of the tub, making your world spin. For a moment, the ceiling spins on its axis, lights blurry. The pain leaves your scalp for a moment, your mother vanishing from your vision as you get the urge to vomit, trying to roll over and push yourself off the side of the bathtub and get away.

Thunder rolls above you, shaking the foundation of the house. Your hands slide on the tile as you push yourself up, only to be knocked back down again as she shoulders you into the bathtub. A pitiful noise leaves your mouth as you go down hard on your shoulder. You feel the crack, the pain worse than anything you’ve ever experienced before.

Crying, you clutch your shoulder, trying to roll off of it, to do anything. Touching the arm hurts, but trying to move is worse. It is a radiating pain, jarring, searing-

Water floods your mouth. You gasp, choking as you lift your head to see that the faucet is running. With renewed panic, you thrash, nearly blacking out with the pain that explodes from the injured arm. Your mother, who doesn’t seem to notice the break, grabs you by the back of your head and shoves you forward.

The pain incapacitates you. Blots out everything else, your inability to fight back vanishing and replaced with only the knowledge that the pain exists. It increases tenfold. Fifty fold. A hundred fold.

Thunder pounds against the walls of the bathroom. It shakes the door in the frame, it splinters. You can barely register the thunder over the rush of the water filling your ears, but it’s there, accompanied by the rush of water in your mouth.

Panic slams back into you. You can’t breathe, can’t see. You flail, sitting upward for a moment to suck in a sharp, painful breath.

“Have mercy on me, O God,” your mother gasps, her hands on your face, nails biting into your skin. “According to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. I will remove evil from thy house, and embrace your grace and love.”

Water fills the tub. She pushes you back under and you scream in terror, forgetting to take a breath before your world is a dull roar. You thrash, kicking at her, slapping at her, tearing your nails into her wrists. It’s like she can’t feel pain, can’t be convinced to let go.

Your lungs ache, your nose filled with water. Her grip loosens for a second and you wretch yourself upward, choking and coughing, mucus and bile burning the back of your throat as you hack. The water is near the edge of the tub, sloshing as you try to crawl away from her.

“Stop!” You scream as she grabs you by the hair again. “Stop! Mommy, stop! Please!”

Water fills your mouth again. You gag on it, feeling your throat constrict as it fights between needing to wretch and swallow down water. Before your body can figure out which, you’re being hauled out of the water, the world spinning.

You fall over the side of the bathtub onto the floor, a pile of soaking, trembling limbs. Water spills over the sides of the tub like a waterfall as you choke up the water you’ve already swallowed, vomiting it out on the tile.

Someone grabs you and you scream in terror, not wanting to go back into the tub.

“It’s me!” Vernon’s voice wavers, higher-pitched than you’re used to. You get your bearings, lifting your head to see him. He’s next to you, soaked and panicked as he holds his hands out, not touching you. “It’s me.”

Turning away from him, you look where your mother is lying on the tiles. She’s still breathing, but she’s got a knot forming on her forehead. Behind her, the door to the bathroom is in splinters, entirely kicked through and torn apart - Vernon, you realize. It wasn’t thunder, it had been Vernon kicking through the door.

A knot forms in your throat as you swivel back to him. He’s on his knees, water pooling around him as the bathroom floods. His hair is soaked, long strands hanging in his eyes, which are wide with terror. He’s panting and there’s a little bit of blood on his hands, splinters visible.

Vernon, who taught you about turtles and all of their names. Vernon, who always quietly sits next to you at parties so you don’t feel alone. Vernon, who had tackled Soonyoung because he thought you were in danger that time at Baby’s birthday party. Vernon, who liked to sit on your couch with the windows open when it rained because he enjoyed the smell.

Vernon, who pulled you from your mother’s wrath. Who saved you. Not your dad, but Vernon, this time. A new god. A fierce one.

When you start to cry, Vernon doesn’t hesitate. He reaches for you, pulling you into him. You yelp when he touches your shoulder and his touch turns careful. He slides himself against the wall, pulling you between his legs to press your good shoulder against him. His chest is warm, the steady beat of his heart underneath your cheek as you press yourself into him, heaving.

Vernon’s arms come around you, careful not to touch your shoulder. You don’t care if he does. No pain can blot this out, no pain can erase what he’s done for you. He cradles you to him like you mean everything to him, hands pressed to you and mouth against your forehead, murmuring it’s okay. I’ve got you.

Your fingers twist in his shirt as you try to catch your breath, shaking violently. He doesn’t mind, just letting you use him however you need. A constant force, a guardian who requires no penance, no devotion, no alms in return for his protection.

“I’ve got you,” Vernon promises, kissing your temple. He squeezes you tighter. “I’m not letting you go. I’ll never let you go.”

It’s how your father finds you when he skids into the doorway, wrapped in Vernon’s arms and trembling as the bathroom floods around you, mother muttering under her breath about the demon in her home.

His eyes look from your mother to you, and you see it. The realization of what’s happened. Your god turns his vengeful eye on your mother, and you know you will never know her terror again.

Blossom petals fall from the ceiling as your father dips Yoon Minji by the waist to kiss her. Everyone in the pews shoots to their feet, clapping happily as he smiles into the kiss. They don’t overdo it, stepping away to bow a bit to their guests, laughing and happy. You clap from where you stand on the side, one of the few bridesmaids she’s picked for the wedding.

You think you like Yoon Minji. You don’t know much about her beyond knowing that she is from one of the wealthiest families in the Choi Syndicate, and she’s the current Wisdom to Choi Moojin, which makes her the second most powerful person in the room directly after the Tower.

Across from you, her son Jeonghan claps politely, placed among the groomsmen. He’s a little bit older than you in his late teens, a spitting image of his mother with her coquettish smirk and knowing eyes. Jeonghan you do like, though you’re not sure you trust.

Trust is a fickle thing that only two people in the room you’re standing in have earned. One of them is now walking with his new wife back down the aisle from the altar where they said their vows, and the other is sitting stiffly between his mother and father, his dark eyes only on you.

Butterflies erupt in your stomach. You feel warmth spread up your neck to your cheeks as you begin the processional back up the aisle, walking to meet Jeonghan who gives you a raised brow.

“You’re blushing,” he teases, looping your arm with his as he escorts you. “Is it because a certain Chwe is looking this way?”

You roll your eyes at the rhyme. “You just wanted to make a rhyme.”

“I’m also right.”

“If that’s what helps you sleep at night.”

He grins, turning to you, pleased at your rhyming. “I like having you for a sister. I’ll see you later, go see your mister.”

“Ugh, goodbye, Jeonghan.”

Your new step-brother lets go. He grins at you, always looking like the cat that ate the canary. You shake him off, knowing that lying to him about Vernon is pointless. The two of you are usually glued to one another’s side, near inseparable to the point that you asked if you could be a guest instead of a member of the wedding party.

That had earned a hard no from your father, despite how much he likes Vernon.

Now, though, you’re free to do what you want for cocktail hour. Naturally, this means stealing a bottle of wine from behind the bar when the bartenders aren’t looking and slipping out one of the side entrances outside.

Balmy air kisses your skin. The sun has long since faded and crickets chirp as you descend the steps toward the massive gardens on the property. The reception will be held in the east garden, so naturally you head to the west garden, slipping your phone out to message Vernon and tell him where to find you.

A waxing moon hangs in the sky. The entire world looks blue under its light, dark enough to slip away unnoticed but bright enough not to get lost on the cobblestone path, following the tinkling sound of a fountain.

The small courtyard has a massive fountain at its center. The statue centerpiece shows a series of mermaids resting upon rocks, water sprouting around them and showering them with mist. You walk up to the fountain's edge, looking at the glittering coins at the bottom that make the water smell coppery.

Mist cools your skin from the fountain. You study the mermaids while you wait for Vernon, eyeing the details of each scale, each strand of hair. The artist had a good hand, the careful lines and curves of the stone life-like.

Footsteps make you turn around. Vernon enters the yard, his hands tucked in the pocket of his suit pants. He looks at ease, walking in that same loping gait he always does. Now that he’s fourteen, he’s a lot taller than he used to be. Still wire thin, but not gangly like he was as a youth.

Tonight, his hair is gelled back. You feel your heart start to race again as he grins when he sees you, a smile only reserved for you. He looks painfully handsome, his suit fitting him just right and a cluster of white flowers that you’ve never seen before pinned to his jacket.

“Where’d you get that?” He gestures to the bottle of wine as he stands next to you, kicking a foot up on the fountain's edge to lean his elbow on his knee.

“Stole it from behind the bar.”

He shakes his head, laughing and holding his hand out. You give it to him and he turns the label upward, reading it in the moonlight. “This is good shit. They should keep better track of their wine.”

“I’m good at not being seen.”

“Oh, I’m aware.” Vernon peels the foil off the wine bottle, pausing to look you up and down. “I always see you, though.”

As soon as he says it, he drops his eyes. You stare at him, your heartbeat racing as he pulls out a knife to get the cork out the bottle. You don’t ask why he has a knife - you have one too. A beautiful little butterfly knife with a mother of pearl handle and an edge sharp enough to cut a single strand of hair. It had been a gift from Jeonghan, a little welcome to the family.

Vernon is always like this. He says things that make you stare at him, trying to unravel their meaning. You’re both fourteen and you know what flirting is, but you can’t figure out if that’s what he’s doing or not. Sometimes Vernon just says things and doesn’t mean anything secondary. He’s simple like that, very to the point and forward. Other times, you swear there is an inflection there, but you can’t tell if it’s because there is or you want there to be.

This is one of those times. Of course Vernon always sees you - he knows you better than anyone else in the world. From the moment he pulled you out of that tub and cradled you to his chest, you knew that you were his. It doesn’t matter if he knows or not. You’re entirely devoted to him - all because he doesn’t ask for it. Doesn’t expect it.

He doesn’t expect anything from anyone. It’s part of why you like him so much. He believes in keeping to himself and keeping quiet, carefully observing the world around him. Jeonghan thinks it makes Vernon dangerous - the good kind, he had emphasized. The useful kind.

You think it makes him perfect.

Vernon manages to get the cork out the wine bottle, his smile electric as he turns to you, presenting the bottle. You clap happily, taking it from him and bringing it up to your lips to take a hearty swig.

Immediately you cough, making a face as the wine hits your mouth. It’s fruity but it’s dry and tangy, something about it making you shake your head. After a difficult swallow, you take a big breath of air and give it back to him, still coughing.

“Wine is terrible.”

He takes it and tilts it towards you, his own cheers. When he takes a sip, he makes a face but his reaction is far less vile than yours. Smacking his lips together he says, “Yeah, not great.”

Together, you sit on the fountain, sticking your feet in the water. Vernon has rolled up his pants, to the knee, swishing his feet back and forth as you take another sip from the bottle. Your dress is pooled around your thighs, lifting lightly in the breeze.

Even though the wine is disgusting, you drink it anyway. Let it make you dizzy, turning the world softer. It feels good, this little buzz you have. You’ve never been drunk before but it makes you giggle, leaning your head back and closing your eyes as Vernon takes another swig.

When you open your eyes and look at him, you giggle.

“What?” he asks, shy. He puts the bottle down.

“Your mouth and teeth are sooo red.”

“Yours too.” He laughs, leaning toward you a little. You can’t tell if it’s the drink or his proximity that makes you dizzy. His breath fans your face - you hadn’t realized how close he was. “Your lips are red like berries.”

“Really?”

“Mhmm.” His eyes are dark, something flickering in them as they drop to your mouth. “Wonder if they taste like berries too.”

Your breath catches, heart hammering. “Why don’t you find out?”

Vernon doesn’t even hesitate. He presses his lips to yours, a little forceful and awkward. You don’t care, shocked that he’s kissing you. You don’t know what to do, but you close your eyes, letting Vernon slot his mouth against yours.

For a moment, it’s just the two of you and the press of your mouths, the fountain spraying you with water as the wind changes direction. Then, Vernon tentatively parts your lips, his tongue darting out to swipe across your bottom lip and you soar.

He starts to pull back but you make a sound, shifting forward to really kiss him. You know nothing about kissing, but you remember Lin telling you and the other girls about it. Baby had told you a little bit about what it was like to kiss Soonyoung, so you try to replicate her feedback, gently licking Vernon’s mouth open.

Vernon makes a pitiful sound, leaning into you. Your noses bump and you grow eager, bringing a hand up to his neck, holding him there. His hands cradle your face, his mouth eager and hungry. It’s messy and clumsy and you’re not sure either one of you really knows what you’re doing, but it’s Vernon and it’s everything.

When you break away, panting, Vernon presses his forehead against yours, nose nudging you. “Tastes better than berries.”

“What’s it taste like?”

His grin is goofy and he can barely get the joke out when he says, “My girlfriend?”

It’s more like a question but you already have an answer, nodding and whispering, “Your girlfriend.”

“Ah fuck,” Vernon mutters as you walk toward him, his head thudding against the back of the couch. You don’t hear his voice but you can see the look on his face and the shape of the words on his mouth as you storm over, fingers flexing. “I warned you,” you hear Vernon mutter to the girl he’s been pushing off of him the last ten minutes.

Vernon watches, eyes flashing when you grab the girl by the back of the neck and yank backward. The girl’s head snaps up, her eyes wide when she realizes who is grabbing her. Immediately she drops her hands from Vernon’s arms and tries to lean away from you, but you’ve got her in a death grip, nails digging into her skin.

She lets out a sound as you stare down on her, feeling your anger throb in the side of your neck alongside your pulse. The buzz of the alcohol burning through you doesn’t help either, turning your wrath sharp like a knife. Somewhere, you hear Jeonghan collecting bets behind you.

“He told you no,” you growl. You’d watched Vernon several times physically try to get up from the couch and push the girl off but she’d clung to him, ignoring his protests. “And no is a full sentence.”

“I didn’t know he was yours.”

Your nails dig in further and her hands fly up to your wrists, trying to break free as she cries. “The point is he told you no. Now apologize.”

Vernon watches with dull amusement, brows raised as they flicker between you and your victim. He always seems interested in what your nexk move is going to be, happy to go along with whatever your mood brings out, even if it’s violence.

“I’m sorry,” the girl says to you and you shove her forward. Her head snaps down, teeth clacking painfully. “Not to me, idiot. To him. Apologize to him for violating his personal space and not knowing what consent is.”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you.”

Hauling her off the couch is a task. She’s much taller than you, but you’re strong. Seungcheol has started letting you work out with them, and though he still holds a grudge from that time you punched him in the face as kids, he’d rather you be good at fighting than bad at it.

Instead of fighting, you let the girl go. She hits the floor like a ragdoll, scrambling away from you. Your fingers are sticky with her blood, the underneath of your nails black with it. She stumbles to her feet, hand going to the back of her neck where she must feel the broken skin.

“Crazy bitch,” she gasps, looking at you.

You take a single step and she shrieks in fear, running. You want to chase her, but Vernon’s hand is around your wrist and he’s laughing, tugging you toward him on the couch. Collapsing into his lap, you pout at him, stomach fluttering at the way he looks at you - like you’re everything, the only thing.

It doesn’t matter that you’re only fifteen. You know that you’re in love with Vernon and that he’s in love with you. No amount of threats by your father has swayed Vernon and no amount of never trust a man from your stepmother has convinced you that you cannot trust Vernon implicitly.

“Very hot of you,” Vernon assures, his hands sliding from your waist to your ass. He grips you through your jeans, uncaring that you’re in the middle of some gritty ass party in the Lower District. If Baby knew you were here, she’d be so mad you didn’t bring her along. “Kiss me.”

You do. He tastes like gin and lemons, but he smells like fresh rain, all petrichor and vetiver. His mouth is warm and wet against yours, a little clumsy because he’s been drinking, but far more skilled than that awkward kiss you shared the night your father married Minji.

Vernon groans under you and you laugh, cradling his face with your hands as you separate from him, nipping his lower lip a little. “Take me home,” you whisper, thighs squeezing around his. “Please?”

He taps your ass. “Let’s fucking go.”

Outside the world is awash in rain. It’s always raining in the city, turning the streets slick. It smells awful in the Lower District, the water flooding the streets and clogging the drain until it smells like wet decay and piss. A group of men shuffle too close for comfort, making Vernon tug you toward him. His eyes are dark beacons as he watches them pass by, either uninterested in the two of you or deciding you’re not easy targets.

Standing on your tiptoes, you press a messy kiss to Vernon’s jaw. He smirks but his eyes never leave the men until they’re around the corner. Vernon might be quiet and unassuming most of the time, but he’s the son of a Sword, one of the heavies for the Choi Syndicate. Vernon is far more lethal than he looks, and he’s learned how to use it.

Turning to catch your mouth, Vernon presses a messy kiss to your lips. “Come on,” he mumbles, tugging you toward the motorcycle parked near the front of the apartment complex. “Let’s go.”

Vernon slides onto the bike, unhooking a helmet and passes it to you. You swing a leg over, getting on the back and pulling the helmet on. Immediately, the face shield swims with color as it turns on, a mini heads up display projected across the glass.

Underneath you, the bike roars to life. Red lights glow around the rim of the wheels, casting murky light on the sidewalk as Vernon walks the bike backward. You scoot closer to his back, wrapping your arms around the middle to give him a squeeze. One of his hands drops from the handlebars and pats your leg.

“Good?” His voice comes through the comms in the helmet perfectly clear.

“Good. You good?”

“Mhmm.” You hear something click against his teeth. “I’ve got a stim pop.”

The boys love stim pops. Most of them use them when they’re trying to fight a high or being drunk, the mix of sweet candy and methylphenidate serving as a kickstart to the nervous system. All of the workers under the Choi banner use them, especially when pulling late night shifts or just trying to stay awake. Your father even chews them sometimes, popping one in his mouth when he comes home.

You hate the taste, personally. The candies aren’t sweet enough and you can taste the bitter edge of the stimulant as it melts in your mouth. Vernon, however, loves them. He’s always careful not to overuse them, afraid of becoming too reliant on them. With his father’s history, you don’t blame him.

Resting the side of your helmet on Vernon’s back, you watch as the world turns into a blur of color. You love the feeling of being on a motorcycle, the world around you becoming nothing but wind and blurring shapes. This late at night, Vernon has to maneuver around people as he drives through the entertainment districts, but once he hits the highway you’re gone.

Wind rips at your clothes. You can see the speed in the corner of your heads up display as Vernon tops out the bike, shooting across the bridge like a bullet. He’s going way above the speed limit but you don’t care, hugging him closer as he navigates through the night.

Even if city police did want to go after him for speeding, they’d never catch him. Seungkwan had refitted the bike with tons of illegal parts and machinery, making it travel at speeds far above regulations. And even if Vernon did get pulled over, he just needed to tell them who he was - the Choi’s were deep in the infrastructure of law enforcement, near impossible to weed out.

Nights like this with Vernon feel invincible. As children to members of status in the Choi Syndicate, you’re untouchable. Gods.

Well, perhaps Vernon is. You don’t feel so much as a god as you do a shadowy angel at his side, ready to deliver vengeance tenfold to whoever stands in his way. It’s been like that since the day he pulled you out of the bathtub - before, even, when you’d punched Seungcheol for him.

Despite being high-ranking in the Choi Syndicate, Vernon’s family doesn’t live in the luxurious accommodations as some of the other upper echelon. He had lived in an actual home like you when you were kids, but last year had moved to a smaller apartment in the Upper District - still better than most of the population of the city, but strange for someone so close to Choi Moojin.

Sleep is a stranger to the city. Lights burn in the windows of the skyscraper as Vernon pulls into the garage lift. He plants his feet on the ground, a hand dropping to your thigh to squeeze and hold you close as the lift shoots upward. It jolts you a bit and you hug him closer.

“Gonna break my ribs,” he teases.

“Good. I’m the only one allowed.”

“Anything you want.”

It makes you smile. You’d never actually hurt him - you’d rather die than inflict any sort of damage on him. Jeonghan has tried to tell you over and over again that you should have a contingency with Vernon, that if he ever breaks your heart-

You shake your head at the thought. Jeonghan trusts no one and neither do you - but Vernon isn’t no one.

The lights are off in Vernon’s apartment. His mother is nowhere to be found, which isn’t uncommon, and his father blessedly isn’t home. You don’t think Vernon would bring you back if Chwe Jiyeong was home. You don’t have to ask why and Vernon doesn’t have to explain. Like most things between the two of you, you just know.

Vernon pulls you toward him as he walks backward toward his room. You giggle, your feet tangling and tripping as you go. You chase his lips with yours, pleased when he lets you drown him in an all consuming kiss, your hands pulling him closer by the jacket.

Tumbling into his room, you knock something over and he laughs. Pressing your hands against his chest, you send him backward onto his bed. His room is dark, save for the light peeking through the tinted windows. This high up in the sky, the clouds blot out the moon.

Crawling into his lap, you grin down at Vernon. His hands go to your hips, greedy fingers exploring. His eyes shine in the darkness of the room, hungry for you - only you. You are the only thing in the world Vernon ever looks at with a sliver of desire.

Leaning down, you plant your hands on either side of his head, dropping your mouth to kiss him again when something crashing in the living room startles you both. Vernon is fast - faster than you even knew he could move. He has you up and off of him in a second, planting you on the bed as he heads for his bedroom door.

You begin to stand but Vernon holds out a hand, stopping you. “Don’t move,” he whispers. “Stay in here, and do not come out of this room. It’s probably my dad.”

Nodding, you sit back on the bed. You swallow thickly, watching as Vernon places his hand on the knob and stills, turning his head to listen. At first, there’s just eerie silence. Your heart pounds hard enough that you swear he can hear it thundering in your ribcage.

Someone cusses out in the living room. Vernon dips his head, sighing heavily as he white-knuckles the door handle. You watch the change come over him, a stone dropped in a still pond rippling a calm surface. He’s tense now, the desire for you moments ago stomped out by the sound of his father knocking over something else in the house, followed by the yell of his mother’s name.

Vernon turns back to you, eyes hard. “Stay here. I’ll get him back to his room and I’ll take you home.”

You nod. You know better than to be disappointed. His dad has ruined your night, but getting to ravage Vernon isn’t as important as this.

Carefully, Vernon opens the door. A shaft of light falls across his face, showing a moment of fear. Then he’s through the door and it’s closed, leaving you alone as your fingers twist nervously in his sheets.

Straining your hearing, you listen as Vernon’s steps fade down the hall. His soft voice is barely audible through the closed bedroom door. Silence follows for a moment, then you hear his dad, voice raised. The urge to stand up and go to the door is overwhelming but you stay put, knowing it’ll only make things worse.

Jiyeong hates your stepmother, and by extension, you.

Again, Jihyeong’s voice raises in the living room. You cannot make out what he’s saying, but it's obvious he’s angry. He’s always angry, though. Angry he can’t kick his addiction to frostbyte and resin, angry the Tower didn’t save his home from being taken by the bank, angry he’s in this apartment, angry that Vernon is here and his mother isn’t, angry at the world.

Growing up, you’d only seen the angry episodes from Vernon’s father once or twice. Seungcheol’s sister had told you about them, though. How when she was little, she’d be woken up to Vernon being brought upstairs to stay the night while Jiyeong was raving mad downstairs, how the Tower and his Sentinel - Soonyoung’s father - would placate him until morning.

No one placates him anymore. Soonyoung’s father is dead and Vernon is fifteen, old enough to deal with his old man by Syndicate standards.

A crash of sound makes you shoot to your feet. You wring your hands together, staring at the door intensely, wishing you could manifest Vernon to walk back through. Another loud crash followed by a loud shout makes you flinch, your hand flying to the angel charm on your necklace.

For a few beats, there’s only silence.

The silence scares you more than the shouting. Before you know what you’re doing, you’re opening the door and rushing down the hall.

Light spills into the living room from the kitchen. You smell something burning and catch snatches of foils near the stove top where there’s still an open flame. For a second, you think the apartment is empty, but you hear a grunt and something smack against the cabinets.

Rounding the counter top, you scream, reaching for Jiyeong where he sits on top of Vernon, whose feet are sliding against the title as he kicks, hands wrapped around his father’s wrists. Jiyeong’s hands are wrapped around Vernon’s throat, thumbs pressing dangerously into his windpipe.

You don’t even think. You lunge forward, grabbing at Jiyeong to pull him off of his son. He thrashes to the side, throwing you into the counter. Pain explodes in your hip but you don’t care, diving back at Jiyeong to pull him off of Vernon. You succeed in loosening his grip and Vernon gasps for air, his face red and strained as he coughs, spittle flying.

The moment of respite is costly - his dad shoves you back hard, sending you stumbling and falling on your ass. It hurts when you land, a pile of limbs and panic and disorientation. It doesn’t matter. You scramble to your feet again, the world tilting as your panic consumes you.

Jumping on Vernon’s father, you try to pull him off. He’s insanely strong, arms corded and honed to killing perfection, the perfect Sword of a powerful Syndicate. Vernon doesn’t try to fight back - he just pries at his father’s hands, the death grip so strong that he knows it’s his best chance at survival.

Your nails rend down Jiyeong’s face, you pull at his hair, at his head. It doesn’t matter. He is feral and intent on a single thing, and that’s choking the life out of the person you love most in the world - even more than you love your father, your god, your savior.

A set of knives catches your attention on the counter. Without second guessing, you grab one, knocking the block over with your haste. Your hand shakes on the handle and you scream when you bring it down on the juncture between Jiyeong’s neck and shoulder.

He doesn’t stop choking Vernon. Filled with rage and terror, you shriek, gripping the handle as blood spills onto your hand. You rip the blade out and drive it down again and again, ignoring the way blood spurts, covering your face and arm.

Jiyeong finally lets go of Vernon, who starts coughing as he sucks down air. He twists under his father, kicking away to roll over on his stomach and crawl away. He gets a few feet away, where he stops to vomit.

You stop screaming. Vernon chokes, spit flying from his mouth as he hacks, trying to get his windpipe to work again. Jiyeong remains on his knees for a second and you realize he’s also choking. His hands are covering the stab wound in his neck, red spelling between his fingers and running down his arms.

Then, he falls forward.

Shaking, you remain standing where you are, hand trembling violently, knife in your hand. It is covered in red now, nearly indistinguishable. Heaving, Vernon manages to sit on the floor, sliding further away from his father to press himself against the fridge. His throat is already red and bruising.

Vernon’s eyes go from his father, motionless on the floor and in a pool of blood to you. Then back to his father. Then you again, where his gaze stays. You don’t know what to do. All you know is that you’d thought he was going to die and that you had to do something about it. You didn’t-

“I didn’t mean-”

Vernon shakes his head and holds out his hand to you. He says nothing - can’t say anything with his throat - but his hand is outstretched toward you and violently shaking. He’s asking - begging - you to come to him.

You drop the knife and it clatters, loud in the eerily silent apartment. You rush to him, stepping over the body, foot sliding in blood. You careen forward, collapsing to your knees. Pain shoots up your legs but you don’t care, crawling to Vernon, hands slippery against the tile until you’re there and you’re holding his hand and he’s pulling you to his chest.

Vernon is quivering, his entire body vibrating as you press against him. His arms squeeze you tight and he turns both of you away from the mess at the mouth of the kitchen, shielding you from it.

Your hands are on his face, smearing blood and red finger prints across his perfect skin as you inspect him. He shakes his head, as though to say he’s fine. But he’s not fine. His throat is bruised and you don’t know how much damage his dad did and he just watched you plunge a knife into his father over and over again.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean-”

Vernon kisses you. It’s brief and quick, but it stops you from spiralling. He shakes his head again, squeezing you harder. Instead of fighting him, you melt into him. Bury your face in his neck. Cry. Cry like you haven’t since your mother tried to purge this world of your existence. Cry because for a moment, you thought he was gone.

Minutes pass. Maybe hours. When Vernon stops shaking, you finally pull yourself from his neck turning to look at the body. The blood has stopped pooling around it. It’s dark - darker than you remember. Perhaps because it’s drying. Going cold.

Wiping your nose, you look at Vernon. He’s expressionless, eyes wide. “I have to call Minji,” you rasp. “She’ll know what to do.” You nod to yourself, pressing the back of your bloodied hand to your mouth. “Yeah, she’ll know what to do.”

Turns out that Yoon Minji does always know what to do. You sit at her boudoir, back facing the mirror. You don’t feel like facing the mirror right now. You know that your dark under eyes and hollowed out expression will just stare back at you.

Minji comes in with a steaming cup of tea, closing the door gently behind her. She is more poised and regal than you’ll ever be, but you like that about her. She reminds you of the knife that Jeonghan gave you when you became step-siblings: a beautiful, mother of pearl handle with a blade so sharp you could cut paper.

You see that in your stepmother as she hands you the mug of tea. You cup it carefully in your hands, palms leeching the warmth from the cup. It smells like honey and chamomile, perhaps with a hint of yarrow. She’d recently started teaching you the names of herbs and how to smell them out, as well as their properties.

Vernon would like her lessons, you think.

Vernon.

As always, he consumes your thoughts. He is, afterall, the reason why you’re barely able to sleep. Though you’re able to spend all day with him while he recovers from a crushed windpipe and a broken collarbone, you have to let him rest at night, which means him being alone.

You hate it. You know he’s in the careful care of the Choi family’s personal doctor, and Dr. Ymir is wonderful. But you hate being separated from him, and despite screaming and yowling like a feral cat, the Tower had been adamant that you were separated for his recovery.

Vernon hated it too. Nearly set himself back by damaging his throat to scream that he wanted you with him. The Tower had finally compromised and agreed that you could spend all day there if you left for a minimum of eight hours at night to sleep.

Minji sits on the edge of her bed. She smoothes her silk shirt down and crosses one knee over the other. She’s dressed professionally in a beautiful, pearl colored shirt tucked into black cigarette pants, with pearls in her ears and on her fingers, hair tucked neatly in a bun behind her head.

She is worlds more beautiful than your own mother, but perhaps your opinion of your birth mother is a little skewed.

“Drink,” Minji urges, gesturing to the cup. “I’ll help you sleep. If you still can’t sleep, send for me. I’ll get you something stronger.”

Nodding, you sip the tea. Warmth unfolds in your mouth and you do feel yourself relax a little. Your hackles have been raised since leaving Vernon an hour ago, and already you’re looking at the clock to see how long until you can go back.

She notices and laughs. Not meanly, but tiredly, followed by a sigh. “What are we going to do with the two of you?”

“Nothing,” you mutter into a cup. “We were defending ourselves.”

She waves a hand. “Not about that. Chwe Jiyeong is a motherfucker. The fact that he would dare hurt that child is-” She cuts herself off with an angry sound. “No one will miss him.”

“The Tower will.”

Her mouth thins. “Perhaps. Perhaps not.”

Silence stretches between the two of you. You sip your tea, watching her while she watches you. Her eyes don’t miss a thing. As the Wisdom of the Choi Syndicate, it’s her job to be the second-in-command. The know-it-all. The intelligence.

Minji must be grand indeed. Most women in the Syndicate didn’t have roles like that. The Kim and Yong Syndicates only had men in executive roles. It was mostly the same under the Choi banner, but Minji was different. The Fox, some called her.

“Do you know why Chwe Jiyeong tried to murder his son, Angel?” Her question catches you off guard. You hesitate, sipping your tea as you think about how to answer her. She notices, her mouth twitching. “Ah. You do.”

Of course she can see the deliberation in your eyes. Instead of arguing, you ask, “Does it matter that I know?”

“Not really. I’m more interested in how you know. Did the boy tell you?”

“No.”

“Pray tell, then.”

“When we were kids, we all got into a fight.”

She smiles. “I recall. You were very disruptive.”

“It started because Seungcheol was being mean to Vernon. I told him that he shouldn’t be mean because Vernon did nothing wrong, but he called Vernon a bastard and said Vernon had done wrong by being born.”

“I see.”

“Wouldn’t have meant much to me as a kid, but Vernon had mentioned that Seungcheol and Seungcheol’s mom specifically didn’t like him much. As we got older, I wondered why out of all the kids that have family members who work for the Tower, why Vernon was given a space at the Choi Estate.”

Her eyes are glittering now, smile spreading. “And?”

“Soonyoung was given a room because his parents are dead.” You sip your tea. “His dad was the Tower’s closest friend. Vernon’s dad wasn’t though. He had a drug problem and was constantly disappointing the Tower.”

“So why give Vernon a place to stay, then?”

“Because he’s not Jiyeong’s son. He’s the Tower’s.”

When Minji smiles, you see Jeonghan in her. Jeonghan looks so much like his mother that sometimes it makes you do a double take. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree in the Yoon family, and it doesn’t just stop at looks. Jeonghan is the perfect clone of his mother in face, but particularly in mind.

Which is why you wonder what her motive is when she says, “You’re very bright, you know.”

It wasn’t a question but you answer anyway. “Yes.”

“Most fifteen year olds would have been very afraid to kill someone.”

“I was afraid. Just not more afraid of him than I was Vernon was going to die.”

“Good.” She stands, unfolding like a lotus flower blooming. “I’d like to put that mind of yours to use, Angel. Clever girls like you are important. Valuable. Mean something.” She pauses and smiles. “I think Vernon might be good for the job, too.”

Nerves twist your stomach into knots. You wind your fingers in your shirt, following Vernon out of the main house and onto the grounds of the Choi Estate. The bruising on his throat is long gone, but Vernon’s voice has only just started returning.

Not that you’ve heard it, at all. His vocal recovery is reserved strictly for the hours spent with his medical team, going through exercises as he slowly makes progress toward speaking fully again. Thankfully he’s expected to make a full recovery. You remind yourself to ask Minji to give Dr. Ymir a hefty bonus for helping Vernon, especially with how fast his return to health has been.

You are dying to hear his voice. Weeks spent writing notes and curating ways to communicate has lost its novelty, and now you just want to hear him again. You miss his voice more than you’ve missed anything else, and you’re starting to worry that you might forget the sound of it. The pitch. The raspiness.

No.

His voice haunts you in your dreams, brushing along your skin like velvet, coaxing you into a restful sleep. Other times, it twists your nightmares, his scream cut off by the sound of his choking as his father chokes him, face turning blue.

The nightmares only happen when you sleep without him. Now that he’s back to functioning health, you’re allowed to spend however long you want with him - in theory, anyway. Though the adults keep muttering about how improper it is for two teenagers to be having sleepovers, it’s easier to let you have your way than to try and pull you apart.

Everyone remembers Vernon screaming the last time they’d done that.

Plus, there’s no way that the Tower hasn’t noticed Soonyoung occasionally slipping into Baby’s room after waking up from nightmares. Vernon shares a wall with him now, and sometimes Soonyoung’s sharp shouting stirs you from sleep before you hear the soft click of his door and his footsteps fade toward the youngest Choi’s room.

No one says anything, though. It’s like the Tower had told the group of you years ago: you’re bound together for life.

That is certainly true enough for Soonyoung and Seungcheol’s sister, who covet one another like greedy little magpies hoarding treasure. Seungcheol covets no one and nothing, but he’s grown out of the sulky, mean teenager phase and remains a bulwark for the rest of you - especially between you and the adults.

The first hint of autumn air kisses the back of your neck. Vernon’s fingers are linked with yours, leading you toward the gazebo near the retention pond at the south end of the estate. You both pause as you near the small turtle pond, both of you crouching down to say hello.

They swarm to the edge of the pool, stretching their necks up to greet Vernon who smiles brightly, gently petting each and every one of their heads. You recognize Blush when you see her, much larger in size but just as beautiful with her rouge ears and beady eyes.

Giggling, you hold your hand out to her, letting her come up to gently nip at your finger. When she decides you have no snacks for her, she ducks under the water, little legs kicking as she vanishes into the murky bottom.

Satisfied, Vernon stands up and offers you his hand again. You take it, smiling. It occurs to you how genuinely happy you are. It’s one of the few days you have off between school, meetings with Minji, and combat classes led by Old Man Vero and Seungcheol.

The memory of Seungcheol putting you on your ass the first day sours your mood a little. He’d told you it was for that punch all those years ago, and you didn’t blame him. Now, there’s no bad blood between the two of you. As the future Tower, he takes your self defense seriously.

You’re also the only one of your group of five who has murdered a fully grown man.

It’s not something to brag about. There are other teenagers your age in the organization who have killed. Most of them are less fortunate - their parents aren’t high up the rung in the Syndicate or they’ve fallen from grace. Some of the others don’t have parents and are in the Syndicate to survive.

Death isn’t something you want to think about while with Vernon though, so you shove it away as he walks up the steps of the gazebo. Wisteria trees surround the building, the purple leaves draping the railings and stretching through some of the windows. A few yards away, the pond ripples as a family of ducks swims across.

Vernon sits on the bench, tilting his face upward into a ray of sun. You sit close next to him, pivoting so you can face him directly, eyes scanning his face as he closes his eyes to enjoy the warmth.

A smile tugs at your lips. Your entwined hands rest in his lap, his tumb absently rubbing back and forth across the top of your hand. He is so beautiful. He’s regained some of this tan back now that he’s somewhere he can go outside and enjoy the sun. His freckles are a little darker for it, skin a little more flushed and glowing.

Glinting gold catches your eyes. You smile when you see the gold chain peeking from the collar of his shirt. You know the angel that you used to wear is tucked under his shirt, a new talisman for protection. You’d given it to him the night you’d saved him from his father, clasping the chain around his neck with bloody, shaky hands and promising that it would bring him protection.

You reach out toward Vernon with the hand not holding his, fingers brushing the top of his cheek bones. He doesn’t open his eyes but he grins and turns toward you, letting your fingers trace his nose, the shape of his brows, his lips. Your fingers stop at his mouth, pinching his lips together in a pout lightly.

He chuckles but doesn’t laugh - not really. You wish he was able to, aching to hear his voice again.

Vernon’s eyes flutter open. The sun hits him just right, turning his brown irises into molten gold. Your heart beats a little faster as you lean on your palm, watching him. He has the most incredibly eyes, turning from brown to burnished gold in the right light, and-

He interrupts your thoughts and says your name. You blink once. Twice. Not Angel. Not any other nickname. Your name. In his raspy, but deep voice, that is soft as velvet and oh oh oh.

“You-” Your voice catches. “You shouldn’t talk unless you’re able.”

He says your voice again and your hands squeeze his, turning into a vice grip. “I’ve been practicing,” he whispers, and you lean forward, not wanting to miss a word. “I can start talking again. Just wanted you to hear me before anyone else.”

“Are you sure?”

He nods. “I promise.” He pauses. “Are you going to cry?”

“No.”

He laughs - actually laughs - when you turn your face away from him to look at the pond, eyes flowing with tears. He pulls you close to him, leaning into your space. He smells like rain and earth, petrichor and vetiver. Vernon says your name again and you look at him, heart hammering.

“Vernon,” you whisper back, like an answer to the way he says your name.

He shakes his head and you frown, questioning. “Hansol.”

Only my mom gets to call me Hansol and it’s ‘cause I love her.

Now you are definitely crying. It makes him laugh because he knows you hate crying, but he is the only person in the world who can move you to tears. He’s the only person allowed.

“Hansol,” you murmur.

His smile lights up the entire world.

“Hansol!” You screech, tripping over the shoes he left by the door. You kick the boots, sending them flying into the entryway. “You motherfucker, stop leaving your shoes in front of the fucking door!”

No one answers your complaints. Huffing, you toe off your boots, slick with rain. They’re heavy and caked in mud, messing up the rug at the front of the door. Instead of leaving your shoes where anyone walking in can trip over them, you pick them up and put them on the shoe rack like a decent human being.

Simmering, you walk into the house proper. The lights are off but there’s a vetiver candle on the counter in the kitchen, filling the house with a scent that smells exactly like Hansol. It lessens your stormy mood a bit as you get to the stairs, climbing them two at a time to get to the second floor faster.

One of the smaller guest houses on the Choi Estate has been taken over by you and Hansol entirely. There are only two bedrooms on the second floor, but that’s all you need. A single room for the two of you to share, and one room for the egregious amount of weapons and paraphernalia to do your jobs.

The paraphernalia room - or the Pew Pew Place, as Mingyu calls it - is heavily locked with a bioscanner and a digital padlock. You pass it as you walk toward the tiny, spiral staircase in the corner of the hall. You climb it, careful not to tip over the hand railing that is far too low, ducking into an attic turned greenhouse of sorts.

It’s really Hansol’s rain room. There are some plants hanging from the ceiling, their waxy green leaves spilling over the sides and thriving in the sunlight when it pours through the glass ceiling. Now, the ceiling is misty and awash with rain as it taps on the glass.

A record player stands against one of the walls, a massive shelf of nothing but records expanding to the side of it. There’s also a small coffee cart and sitting area for when Seungkwan or Mingyu want to come over.

The object of your ire - and now affection - is lounging on the green chaise by the window, hands behind his head as he stares up at the water sluicing down the roof, his headphones on and making him unaware of you standing in the entryway.

Sighing, your anger immediately melts. Instead of yelling at him for the shoes, you walk toward him, feeling the exhaustion wear you down. Anger and exhaustion are the only two things you seem to feel lately. Even your love for Hansol sometimes seems blotted out by the size of your anger, which has turned into an ancient creature that you’re unsure how to control.

For now, you will it away - beg it to leave. It’s easier to do when you’re sinking into Hansol’s lap, startling him from his reverie. You smile as you lean down, laying on his chest. He wraps one arm around you while the other pulls off his headphones, the music pausing as he does.

Hansol is warm and smells like the rain he’s watching - soothing, making you forget about everything for just a second. Underneath your cheek, you feel the steady rhythm of his heart, one of your favorite sounds.

Instead of saying anything, you both just lie there, you on top of him while he holds you, content to run his hands absently up and down your back. It’s nice. Moments like this lately are few and far between, the world spinning so fast that it’s hard to stop and take a second to just hold him.

As if it can sense your moment of peace, Hansol’s phone starts to ring. You hiss and he groans. You want him to ignore it. He wants to ignore it. But you know that ringtone anywhere, and despite wanting to keep this moment for longer than five minutes, Hansol reaches into his pocket to answer Seungcheol’s phone call.

“Yes, Tower?”

You bury your face in Hansol’s chest, which vibrates when he speaks. “Got it. Yeah.” He sighs, running a hand down his face. “Alright.”

He hangs up the phone. “Tell him no.”

“You tell him no. He’s actually afraid of you.”

“Seungcheol isn’t afraid of anyone.”

Well. That isn’t explicitly true. You wouldn’t say that Seungcheol is afraid of you, but he’s certainly wary. Wary in the way someone might be a bomb that is under their roof. Wary in the way someone’s exotic pet has started to corrode under animal instinct. Wary in the way one might be when one of their prime killers recently lost the only person she ever really considered a mother, setting her on a warpath.

Your jaw works. Yoon Minji had been the last connection you’d had to your father. Somehow, losing her has felt worse.

It wasn’t like your father, who had finally withered away from cancer. Minji had been picture-perfect health, if not a little old and weary from running the Syndicate while Choi Moojin withered away to sickness after his wife’s passing. Minji was built of different stuff. Strong in the face of death. A force to be reckoned with as her friends aged out of life without her, leaving her to be the steadfast Wisdom manning the helm.

Then the Kim and Yong Syndicates had struck like snakes in the night, a move only cowards were capable of. The only reason the Choi Syndicate hadn’t fallen to the treachery of the Kim’s entirely was because of the Tower’s daughter. Her forced marriage to Kim Yujin had ultimately been the Choice Syndicate's saving grace, her call coming only two hours prior to the coordinated attack, a warning that an overthrow was in process.

It had been enough time for most people.

It hadn’t been enough time for you or Jeonghan to get to Minji. Not enough time to figure out why they knew where she was or how to get her. Now, you were both trying to stay adrift in the aftermath of losing your shared anchor - Jeonghan worse than you but you… worse than you expected.

“You okay?” Hansol’s voice brings you back to the present. Only Hansol is able to drag you out of those churning waters where your eldritch anger lurks, waiting. Watching. Hungry. “I gotta go soon but if you’re not good-”

“I’m good.” Lie. “I’m just sleepy.”

“Cheol is working us to death.”

Except it isn’t the Tower working you to death. The Tower isn’t putting you to work at all. He is actually staunchly avoiding you, letting the Wisdom of the Choi Syndicate wield you like a weapon of vengeance instead.

Yoon Jeonghan takes aim at his enemies often these days.

Vengeance. That is what your stepbrother had called it when he started gathering his list of soon-to-be-dead in his office. Vengeance for his mother’s murder, vengeance for trying to take out the Choi Syndicate, vengeance for anyone who had anything to do with any of it.

It isn’t traditionally the Wisdom’s job to dole out punishment and retribution, but Jeonghan is still actively looking for how the Kim family discovered the Yoon family safehouse, something that could have only come from inside.

Which means the Kim family have a Watcher inside the Choi Syndicate, someone with access to the inner circle. Someone you trust someone you know, someone who-

Anger begins to twist your insides again. Hansol sees the change in you, his eyebrows creasing as he looks down at where you lay on his chest. Instead of looking at him directly, you press your cheek to his chest and close your eyes, listening to his heartbeat, trying to let it ground you.

“You know you can talk to me, right?”

No. “Yes.”

You don’t dare look at him because you think Hansol sees right through you. You’ve never hidden anything from him, and you don’t quite know why you do now. Why you pretend that you’re not eroding inside, why you hide the ancient anger that becomes so raw that you can’t stand it.

Shame.

Shame that you cannot get rid of this feeling inside of you. Shame that you’ve never felt like this. Shame that you don’t know how to tell him what you’re feeling how to articulate that you feel wrath so intense that it makes you suffocate, makes you see red, makes you-

“I gotta go,” Hansol says softly. You cling to him a little tighter reflexively. His laugh vibrates through you, followed by a heavy sigh. “We’ll be okay, right?” That makes you look up at him sharply. His face is serious, eyes dark. “We’ve been through shit before. This stuff with the Syndicate war - we’ll be fine?”

“Of course we will.”

It feels like a lie.

Carefully, he extracts you from him. You don’t want to let him go - you never do. But you peel yourself from him anyway, trailing after him as he goes down to the second flood of the house into your padlocked room. You can’t bring yourself to part from him yet, silently handing him a gun over the counter and running your hands along the inseams of his jacket to make sure he has what he needs.

It’s a bit of a ritual. Usually, you’d be doing it together. As Rooks of the Choi Syndicate, you and Hansol have unique jobs. Collecting debts, reminding people of their debts, and applying pressure are the main responsibilities of your positions.

Applying pressure is a gentle way to put it. You find what makes people weak, and then you hurt it until they’re begging you to stop. You salt their wounds, you kick them when they’re down, you make good on their promises. It’s work that requires an inability to feel guilt and a willingness to go however far the Tower needs you to go.

You and Hansol are good at that. Minji had trained you to be good at that, becoming two of the best assets for the Syndicate - especially now that it was a time of Syndicate war where the Chois were facing down the Kim and Yong families simultaneously. Now was the time to apply pressure and to ensure that everyone who had promised to be loyal to the Choi Syndicate was keeping their promises - especially now that Seungcheol had stepped into his father’s role.

Syndicate war makes people unsettled. It’s a time of uncertainty, especially among the city officials and law enforcement trying to assert control over the Syndicate families. While the Syndicates hold no political power in the city, they have wealth, assets and connections, making them very competent and powerful puppeteers.

Ensuring that those who threw in their bets with the Choi family still intended to do so is paramount. As is eliminating anyone who so much as thinks about switching sides, undermining the Tower, or trying to leverage the conflict for their gain.

Hansol stops at the doorway to kiss you goodbye before he leaves. It’s soft and lingering, like he would rather be raked over hot coals than go do whatever errand Seungcheol is sending him on. You don’t blame him. There aren’t that many people in the family that do what the two of you do, and Hansol is the Rook that Seungcheol trusts the most, his brother by bond - and by blood, though most didn’t know that.

“Will you be home tonight?” Hansol mutters the question against your lips, unwilling to part from you just yet. He tastes like vanilla chapstick, lips soft and supple. You shake your head and he sighs. “Alright. Let me know when you leave here.”

“Yeah.”

He kisses you again and steps away. “Love you.”

“Love you too.”

When the door shuts behind Hansol and you’re left to your own devices, the wrath begins to stir again.

Sickly sweet incense hangs in the air as you near the lounge. A beaded curtain separates the main hall from the lounge beyond, parting with a soft, clicking hiss as you slide through the strands. The cloying scent of incense is far more intense in the room, accompanied by the smell of something sweet burning.

Pink, velvet couches crowd around a small table. On the table is a smattering of bottles, a pipe with half burn resin in it, a spilled bag of frosbyte, and a handful of cash. Your boots stain the carpet with mud as you tread to one of the couches, throwing yourself across one as you wait.

“Be with you in a minute,” a soft, feminine voice comes from beyond another beaded curtain.

While you wait, you look around the room. There’s a small personal bar shoved in the corner with miscellaneous brands of liquor. In a room as cheap as this one, there are no holograms or high-tech lights to entrance patrons - just a shitty disco ball that barely refracts the light with some music skipping as the internet goes in and out over the speakers.

At the soft clack of the beaded curtains opening, you drop your gaze to the back of the room where the room’s renter comes through. At first, she enters the room with a coy smile, the silk robe falling off of her shoulder to show milky white skin.

The second she sees you, she tries to turn on her heel and go back to the room.

“Leaving so soon, Rosalind?”

Rosalind stops her retreat immediately. Like the perfectly practiced entertainer she is, she spins and fixes you with a plastic smile. You’re no whore, but you know a whore’s smile when you see one. She approaches you with a lazy gait, appearing at ease, but when she sits, it's a hairsbreadth too far away and there is a slight pinch in her shoulders.

“Nonsense,” she assures you, dropping the soft affectation in her voice to her heavily accented, naturally voice. “I just didn’t wanna wear this fuckin’ wig if its just you.”

Lie.

“You know I love the black hair,” you agree. She has on a silvery wig now, giving her the illusion she’s some sort of moon deity. There’s a shimmer to her skin that makes her ethereal in the right light, but with the shitty disco ball, it looks tawdry. “How’ve you been?”

“Business is slow. You Syndicate-types have everyone up in arms.” Leaning forward, she gestures to the abandoned pipe on the table. “You mind?”

“By all means.”

You watch her as she picks up the pipe. Her hands shake a little, either from the shitty resin she keeps smoking or from the anxiety of seeing you sitting in her lounge. It could be either, it could be both. She lights the end of the pipe and inhales, coughing brutally for a second, the wet sound of her lungs a result of smoking low grade shit.

After a few more tugs and another coughing fit where her eyes water, she puts the resin down, leaning back to spread her arms along the back of the couch. “What can I do for you, Angel girl?”

“Nothing. Just checking in on you.”

“Oh?”

“You’re not officially under the banner of the Choi Syndicate and I’m fine with that. But you’ve helped me in the past - I like to ensure that those who help me stay protected.”

Her mouth twitches upward. “Are you getting sweet on me?”

“I’m always sweet on you.” Your gaze sweeps the room. “If you did want to be under the Choi banner, I could give you better accommodations, you know.”

“I don’t like to be controlled by the Syndicates.”

“So you’ve always said.”

Leaning your head against the back of the couch, you sigh. Looking up at the ceiling, your eyes trace the water and smoke stains. This room really is a piece of shit, but it’s belonged to Rosalind since before you were an official Rook under Choi Moojin, and then Choi Seungcheol.

There used to be a sort of charm to the room. You always thought it looked like one of those cheap collages that Baby put together in her mood boards with white lace, red velvet, plasticky hearts and quotes from all of the romance movies that she liked. It had always felt nostalgic.

Now you see it for what it really is - desperate to be something it's not.

Your fingers drum on the couch. “You’ve always admired your independence,” you eventually say. Rosalind watches you, finally at ease. “I admire that about you. I didn’t have much independence growing up.”

“I don’t think most Choi’s do.”

“I’m not a Choi.”

“You’re practically married to one.” You cut your eyes over to Rosalind and she grins. “Yeah, I know about the boy.”

“Of course you do. You know a lot of shit.”

“That's why you’re so sweet on me.”

“Yeah.” You laugh airly. “It is.”

Silence stretches between the two of you. From down the hall, you can hear the heavy grunt of a man fucking into something. In a proper brothel, you’d never have to hear the sounds of anyone else fucking - unless that thing was specifically requested.

“When did you tell the Kims where Minji’s safehouse was?” You ask, turning to fix your gaze on Rosalind. Her smile drops. “Since I’m so sweet on you I thought you’d be willing to tell me”

“I don’t know where Yoon Minji’s safe house is. I didn’t like the bitch but I’ve never sold her out.”

“Hm.”

You look back up at the ceiling, feeling eerily like you’re at a therapist appointment. You’d started going as a bit of a joke with Jeonghan, wondering what would happen if you told her snatches of your life. You leave out the murder, of course, but you’re pretty sure she knows.

The thing your therapist is most interested in is your relationship with Hansol, asserting that you’re codependent. You’re not entirely interested in what it means or that it’s bad. Of course you’re codependent on Hansol - there is no one else in the world you want or would rather trust.

And yet you’re here, on a rampage that he is unaware of.

“You know, Rosalind,” You say airly. “I would believe you except… I have a really good instinct for this shit. It’s what makes me good at my job, and it’s why you always respected me.”

For a second, she doesn’t answer. Then, she changes her tone of voice, earnest. “I would never sell out Yoon Minji, Angel. I don’t want the Chois as an enemy.”

“There it is again.” You sit up and point at her. “Do you know that when you lie, you take a tiny little breath right before? Like someone might do right before they jump from a cliff.”

“I’m not lyin-”

“Lie again and I will cut off a fucking finger like that bitch Yoon Minji taught me.”

“Angel,” she begs, sliding off the couch to her knees. Her hands are rubbing on her thighs, shaking her head when she looks at you. “I’m telling you, I swear on my life.”

You stare at one another. Sweat gathers on Rosalind’s brow. The synthetic strands of her wig stick to her forehead. Her eyeshadow is smudged, her lipstick not done right, a little bit overlined. You see the glue holding the fake lashes to her waterline, the separation of the body glitter on her skin as she starts to sweat.

Clapping your hands on your thighs and standing, you announce, “I believe you.”

She nearly collapses with relief. “Really?”

“No, but it was funny to see how relieved you are. Soonyoung!”

A series of crashes echoes from the hall. The wall vibrates as someone gets knocked into it, followed by heavy footsteps. Soonyoung comes crashing through the beaded curtain, dragging a young woman by the hair after him. The tape over her mouth keeps most of the screams to muffled grunts as she twists in his hands, her nails wrapped around his wrist where she tries to get him to let go.

Rosalind lets out a sound like a wounded animal but she doesn’t dare move. Soonyoung throws the girl to your feet, sending her tumbling into the coffee table. Things fly off the surface, crashing into the already stained carpet.

Whimpering, the girl crawls away from you toward where Rosalind is kneeling, staring at her with an open mouth and tear-lined eyes. Before the woman can make it far, Soonyoung steps on her fingers, making her wail and thrash.

“Stop!” Rosalind screams, spittal flying. “Stop!”

“This is who the Kims offered to protect, right?” You ask Rosalind as Soonyoung applies more pressure to the woman’s fingers. She goes rigid with tension as the pain wracks her. “This is your daughter? Got into a nice ass school two weeks ago - a boarding school, even. All the way across the world.”

“Please,” Rosalind begs. “Please.”

“I thought to myself, Rosalind has had all this time to ask me to protect her kid. Never once asked the Chois to do it. And then suddenly she’s accepted into something you can’t afford so very far away… and I wondered. Who is this woman’s dad?”

“Angel, please.”

“No daddy on the birth certificate but… she looks so much like Kim Minchan’s niece. They have such pretty eyes in that family.”

Rosalind is openly weeping now, the sobs wracking her body. You stare at her and feel the ancient anger inside of you curl in pleasure, teeth clicking as you get ready to strike. The violent ocean that has manifested as your wrath is ready now, waters churning, waiting, hungry.

Slowly, you crouch down to Rosalind’s level, staring at her across the coffee table. “Who fucking told you where Yoon Minji’s safehouse was, Rosalind?”

She shakes her head. You look up at Soonyoung, who looks like the devil with his white-blonde hair and beady, black eyes. He leans on his foot, crushing the girl’s fingers under the toe of his boot. She screams, thrashing again. Surely they’re broken by now.

“Stop!”

“Tell me,” you coo, nodding sympathetically. “Tell me, Rosalind. Or I’m going to kill her in front of you. Alright? Tell me.”

Rosalind nods. Her makeup streams in black, inky tendrils down her face. She struggles to suck in a breath, coughing through her resin-ruined lungs. You watch with predatory stillness as she manages to suck in a breath, nodding to herself again.

“Jung Lan.”

You frown. “Jung Lan is dead. He was murdered protecting Choi Moojin.”

She shakes her head. “The son. Junior.”

Sucking in a breath, you look up at Soonyoung. His eyes are storming, the churning waters of his violence the same as the thrashing anger inside of you. It is, perhaps, the only time you’ve ever related to Kwon Soonyoung. He glances back to Rosalind, eyes narrowed.

“Tell me what he told you.”

“He didn’t tell me with the purpose of giving it to the Kims. Just ran his mouth while he was here. Said his old man deserved the house she was given, not Minji. Said it was in Cascade. That’s it. I swear that’s it. Please.”

You nod at Soonyoung and he lifts his foot from the young woman’s hand. Her fingers are crushed and bent at odd angles, bruised under the heavy weight of his foot. He looks at you and you give him a curt nod. Expressionless, he pivots and marches from the room, vanishing with a snap of beaded curtains.

Rosalind sags in relief, collapsing inward on herself as she sobs. Her daughter starts to crawl to her and you let her, watching the way she folds herself into her mother’s lap. The way you might fold into Minji’s lap, in another life.

In that life, where you were born to her, maybe, instead of the woman who gave birth to you. In another life where you and Jeonghan still had a fierce figure to lead you through the trenches of this fucked up mess. In another life where she wasn’t dead and you could lay your head in her lap to let her comb your hair.

It doesn’t exist - never existed. Even alive, you don’t think that was in your future for you and your stepmother. But she had made you tea and comforted you, had taught you how to weaponize what little skills you had, turned you into something that could protect Hansol no matter the cost.

“Thank you,” Rosalind whispers, crushing her daughter to her.

“For what?”

“For sparing her.”

When the first electric pulse of a gun being fired and screams come from down the hall, Rosalind looks at you, wide eyed. You grin, the rage taking shape on your face. “I didn’t.”

It’s dark when you get home. The clock floating above the holoscreen stand says it’s just past four in the morning, which is earlier than you thought you would get home. Every part of you is tired and dragging, each step weighed down more than the last.

Dissatisfaction follows you, haunting your every step. You feel the weight of its presence as you try to run away from it to the second floor, shoving it away. You feel no better after ridding the world from the woman who’d traded secrets, along with the entire establishment.

You don’t feel guilty. You’d done it eagerly and with Soonyoung’s help. They had deserved it, not only for betraying the Choi Syndicate, but for having the nerve to pretend to be neutral for all of these years, benefiting from servicing all three of the city’s main syndicates.

The problem with neutrality, though, is there’s no one to save you when death is on your doorstep.

None of it makes you feel better, though. You don’t feel justified. You don’t feel like you did a good job. It doesn’t feel like a box that has been checkmarked. Your anger asks for more, wants more, needs more.

Hansol is asleep in bed when you come in. He doesn’t stir, too heavily knocked out to sense you. Here in your home in the heart of the Choi Estate, there’s no reason to sleep light for fear of intruders. Here, in his home with you, he can be completely at ease.

You stare at him as you change into a sleep shirt, leaving nothing else on. He looks at peace, face completely relieved of the stress of his evening or the constant frown he’s started to wear around you. Hansol looks like his younger self when he sleeps, face swollen where it’s smushed against the pillow, mouth parted as he snores a bit.

When you crawl into bed, he stirs. He blinks those round, gentle eyes at you, immediately recognizing your home. His hands seek you, stretching across silky sheets to grab you by the hips and pull you close, needing your warmth. He smells like vetiver and petrichor, immediately soothing the unsettled feeling nipping at your heels.

It isn’t enough.

As Hansol’s eyes drift shut, planning to go back to sleep now that you’re here, you lean forward and press your mouth to his. You feel the question in the curve of his mouth for only a second before he relents and kisses you back, lips tired and slow, a little lazy.

You tangle your legs with his, hooking your knee behind his to pull him flush to you. He grunts, but goes with the flow, his hand sliding up your thigh to rest on your hip, fingers tentative. You want more of him, need more of him. You want to drown in him until this - this whatever it is eats you alive and leaves nothing less.

Hansol senses your need because of course he does. He knows you better than anyone else in the world, and when your mouth turns desperate, he understands. Instead of asking questions, Hansol comes alive, rising up from sleep to lean over you and push you down into the mattress.

A soft sound leaves your mouth and he drinks it down, gentle mouth turning into bruising hunger.

Yes. It vibrates though you as his teeth scrape your bottom lip as he sucks on it gently. Yes. When he drags his nails up your thighs, scratching. Yes when he leans his weight into your hips, pinning you to the bed underneath.

This is part of why you love Hansol. He’s able to flip the switch he needs to meet you halfway, to offer whatever salve you need to the burn, whatever fire you need to rouse you. It’s an instinct of his, a calling that he answers every time.

You wrap your arms around his neck, keeping him close. His kisses are needy and messy, turning to more tongue and teeth than anything. You thread your fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling slightly. It earns a groan from him, his warm breath ghosting across your slick-bitten lips as he mouths across your jaw.

Hansol grabs your thigh and wraps it around his waist. You squeeze, pinning him to you while he lets go of your leg, hand drifting to your bare ass to squeeze generously. You tug his hair in response and his laughter comes out in a huff of air.

Attaching his mouth to your neck, Hansol slides his hands under your shirt. His palms are warm but you shiver at the feeling of his rough calluses scraping against your soft skin. He drags the tips of his fingers along the curve of your breast, teasing and light.

“Don’t,” you growl, fingers going tight in his hair. “Not tonight.”

He bites you sharply, making you moan and arch into him. His tongue soothes the sting of his teeth and you feel his grin against your skin as his mouth drifts toward your shoulders.

Hansol listens, though. Instead of teasing you with his feather-light touch, he flicks his thumb back and forth over a nipple, making you shiver. Being in his hold feels so good, the violence of the night fading to the background as Hansol’s hands and mouth numb the anger.

After over a decade together, there is nothing he doesn’t know about you. He knows the way you like to be kissed, the way you have a sensitive spot under your ear, attaching his mouth to it and sucking greedily. He knows you like to be scratched and bitten, that you need to feel nothing but him for a moment of peace.

Hansol peels the shirt off of you. You don’t even feel the chill of the room, just the heat of his hands turning you over to press your face down into the mattress, his teeth and lips on the back of your shoulder, his other hand hooking behind your knee to pull it upward and spread you open.

Your fingers dig into the mattress as Hansol sinks down, pressing kisses to your spine. It feels like you can’t stop shaking, only focused on the way his tongue darts out occasionally to taste your burning skin. His hands don’t stop either, squeezing the back of your thighs, skimming upward to gently squeeze your ass.

The ache for him is nearly unbearable by the time you feel the first, soft lick of his tongue on your cunt. You sigh, melting into the mattress as he prods lazily at your entrance before dragging back down to your clit. He knows exactly how to work you, mouth attaching to you and sucking leisurely, like he has all the time in the world to do this.

And he does, doesn't he? You and Hansol have whatever time is fated on this earth to spend together, so why should he rush? Why should he not enjoy the way you shake under the buzz of his mouth as he licks and sucks at you fervently, his hands running up and down the back of your thighs as he drags his nails along your skin.

Reaching back with one of your hands, you sink your fingers into his hair. Hansol hums appreciatively, the buzz of his mouth against your pussy making you moan his name. He’s messy with it, devouring you in a way that makes nothing else in the world matter. You writhe under him, face hidden in pillows, short of breath.

The muscles in your lower stomach start to squeeze and you feel the force of your orgasm coming. Hansol can tell by the sounds you make, his hands turning firm as he keeps you pried open at the thighs, pressing his face further into you.

Your fingers tighten in his hair and you come with gritted teeth, screaming into pillows that smell like him. He continues to mouth at you, eager to work you through the full length of your orgasm. It sends you into overdrive, muscles twitching, legs shaking, lungs barely able to take in a breath.

With a final, messy kiss to your pussy, he peels away, taking under a minute to shed himself of his clothes. Heaving, you lift your face from the pillows, feeling sticky drool on your chin to turn over your shoulder and look at him.

You can barely see him in the darkness of the room, but you can just make out his shape as he shuffles to you on his knees, hands pumping his cock slowly. You make a desperate sound and he huffs - laughter, you know. He slides a hand underneath your thigh again, hitching one knee up high on the bed while the other is pressed flat.

Hansol keeps your leg pinned there, stretching you open, muscles expanding as he presses the head of his cock into your entrance. His name escapes your mouth in a whine, feeling the way your walls spasm around him as he sinks in. The position has him hitting deep. You feel him everywhere, feel the way he invades your senses.

“S’good,” you whisper when you feel his hips press against your ass. Your cunt flutters around him, trying to accommodate for the stretch. “Fuck.”

He hums in response, keeping one hand on your thigh to pry you open and the other on your hip to hold you in place as he retracts, the slide of his cock sending your eyelids fluttering.

Hansol sets a hard pace from the jump, each one of his thrusts targeted and on point. He punches the air from your lungs and you become a panting mess under him, barely able to breathe. He puts his weight into it, leaning over you to stretch your leg higher up on the bed and crush you to the mattress the way you like, the way you need.

It feels safe here, jolting under the weight of him as he fucks into you hard, his grip tightening on you as you whine and clench around him. You dig your fingers into the sheet, twisting and tearing as if it can release the tension coiling inside you, begging to be let out.

For a brief moment, he slows his pace, pulling away from you. Your eyes snap open, ready to fire off a question when you feel him pry you open to spit onto the tight rim of your ass. You suck in a tight breath of air and hear him laugh before he presses the pad of his thumb to the ring of muscles there.

“Oh,” you breathe, melting. He doesn’t press his finger in, just keeps it firm on the seam of your ass, adding pressure and stimulation that sends you into a thoughtless daze.

“Yeah,” he grunts, picking up his pace again, cock hitting deep. “Oh.”

You don’t have a response - know that he’s teasing you, having sensed your brief moment of annoyance in the split second it took him to add another element of pleasure. You know Hansol will never disappoint you here wrapped in sheets that stick to your sweaty skin, sheets that smell like him, but you’ve always been quick to protest, quick to strike first.

It doesn’t bother him. Nothing about you bothers him after this long together. Not you coming home and waking him up, needing to be fucked into the mattress to forget the hate coiling inside you. Not you being utterly useless tonight, letting him do all the work as he brings you to the brink of coming again. Not you reaching back to grab the wrist of the hand he has on your thigh, your nails digging in so hard you make him bleed.

Hansol takes it all. Takes your shaking orgasm, takes the way you moan his name, takes his time as he fucks you through your high before he drops the hold he has on your leg to hold your hips to the bed instead. Takes the breath from your lungs when his thrusts turn from hard to brutal, hips crashing into you, forcing each breath from your lungs.

The world goes blank. There’s just you laying in a bed that smells like petrichor and vetiver, breath coming to a screeching halt as your face presses into the mattress. He keeps you pressed there, a hand sliding to the middle of your back to keep you pinned, the other working the clenching rim of your ass.

If you could make a sound, you might scream. Instead, you shudder under him, coming violently and without air, ears ringing and blood rushing. It’s exactly what you were looking for, a specific high that only Hansol can give you.

Eventually, he rolls you over and you gulp in air. You’re barely aware of anything, floating in the dizzy space between. A hand laces with yours, squeezing your fingers. You squeeze back, letting Hansol’s grip keep you tether as you gain your bearings.

Slowly, you come back to the present. You blink your eyes open, despite how heavy they feel. You could fall asleep any moment, spent and toeing the edge of the nothing sleep always brings. Hansol is looking at you though, a look in his eye that sparks a little life in you.

“What?” you ask, voice barely above a raspy whisper. “What’s wrong?”

Hansol’s hair is damp with sweat, pressed flat to his forehead. His eyes are dark and simmering with something unreadable but intense.

“I should ask you that,” he answers after a pregnant pause. “What’s going on?”

The question sours your efforts to forget immediately. His concern shatters the illusion that you’d let him fuck into you, removes the numbing you’d practically crawled into his lap for. With his worry comes the sharp stab of reality, all the anger and wrath and ugliness that you keep trying to shove down rearing its monstrous head.

“Nothing, Hansol.” Your words crack like a whip and you let go of his hand to roll over, turning your back to him. “I was just stressed.”

“So tell me what you’re stressed about.”

“Maybe you haven’t noticed, but we have stressful jobs.”

“You are not stressed over your job. Don’t sell me that. You have to be honest with me. You said we’d get through this shit together. You gotta talk to me, Angel.”

Your heart starts to pound in your chest. You are suddenly painfully awake, body riddled with the tension Hansol had just gotten rid of minutes ago. Sweat slicks your skin anew, but this time from the anxiety of how close you feel to tipping over.

“Can we just go to sleep?”

He scoffs. “I was asleep until you crawled in here looking at me like you were going to die. Why are you shutting me out?”

“I’m not shutting you out. You were quite literally just inside me.”

“Stop twisting what I’m fucking saying. I’m asking you to be open with me and no amount of you being a bitch is going to make me shut up. I know that’s what you want.”

As always, Hansol is absolutely correct. He doesn’t miss. It’s what makes him such a good Rook, but makes him a good life partner. And he is your life partner. You’ve never said any vows at an alter and there’s no ring on your finger, but Hansol has been your soulmate and your partner since long before he pulled you out of that bathtub.

And here you are hiding from him, crawling to him to beg him to numb you without any reason why, taking but not giving, demanding but not paying him back. Here you are trying to piss him off into silence, being as frustrating as possible to get him to give up and decide he doesn’t feel like fighting this battle.

He knows it. You know it.

A fissure appears on your resolve. Hansol says nothing, his words doing all the work for him as you mull them over. He doesn’t have to press you further - he knows the blow he’s dealt has worked, waiting in heavy silence as the facade you’ve built over the last few weeks starts to crumble to show him the ugly thing you’ve been keeping to yourself.

“I’m angry,” you whisper. It comes out shaky. Scared. He doesn’t dare breath or move, letting you pour through the cracks he’s made. “I’m angry and I don’t know why and it’s like I can’t stop being angry. I feel it like it’s a thing that is alive, like I can’t get rid of it.”

You suck in a shuddering breath, feeling the way you’ve started shaking. You zone out as you speak, vision narrowing to a specific point of darkness in the bedroom. “I feel hate like I’ve never felt before and I swear it’s going to eat me alive. It’s like - it feels corrosive and like I can’t satiate it but the only thing that offers any relief is killing anyone who had to do with Minji’s death.”

Hansol shifts behind you. He doesn’t move closer but you feel his hand move across the bed. He presses his palm flat to the base of your spine. It grounds you, makes it easier for you to continue, “I don’t get it. It’s not like she was my mom. She didn’t - she didn’t give birth to me but she didn’t try to drown me. She didn’t see me as something to be disposed of. She… saw me and embraced me, and thought I was useful. Liked me.”

Clever girls like you are important. Valuable. Mean something.

Minji’s words left an impression on you. You think about them often, letting them replace the bible vowels your mother used to hiss as you. So many of your memories of a motherly figure are Minji teaching you how to read body language, Minij showing you how to look for the subtleties of deception in financial documents, communications, miscellaneous tidbits.

“My dad was my god,” you whisper, voice quaking. “But Minji - she was an entity. She taught me how to fight back and keep what I wanted most protected. And they just… killed her in her bed, Hansol.” You realize you’er crying but now you can’t stop. “They broke into her house and killed her in her bed like she was a fucking dog and not Yoon Minji, the Wisdom of the fucking Choi Syndicate.”

Hansol’s hand drags up and down your spine, slow and hypnotizing. You close your eyes, violently shivering as everything that’s been growing inside of you rushes out in a tide you can’t dam. “All because some stupid fucking kid ran his mouth to the wrong whore. Do you know how angry that makes me? She should have been safe, and a fucking nobody is why she died!”

Instead of comforting you with words, Hansol deems it’s safe enough to grab you. He pulls your back to his chest, hooking his chin on your shoulder to bury his face in your neck. He’s warm and he feels safe, arms wrapping around you as you seethe.

“I hate that I’m angry,” you hiss. “It feels so fucking stupid. People die all the time and I don’t care but this one bothers me and it makes me feel ridiculous. Makes me feel stupid - she was Jeonghan’s mom not mine. But I want anyone who had anything to do with it to die, Hansol. I need them to.”

“Okay,” he murmurs. “Then we’ll kill them.”

Hansol says it so simply. Because of course to him it is simple: you need to feed this desire for revenge or it will kill you, thus it needs to be done. Of course he doesn’t think it’s stupid, doesn’t think you’re being irrational. To Hansol, it doesn’t matter what you want - he wants it too.

To be loved by Hansol is to be loved entirely, without ifs, without buts, without any stipulations. He takes you exactly as you are, and it makes you break in his hold. He’s the only other person in this world who wants you exactly as you’ve been created.

And maybe that’s why you were so afraid of letting him in to see this. You’ll never get rid of that tiny, irrational fear that he’ll decide he’s seen enough. Nothing you’ve both been through has been easy, and loving you comes with so many obstacles that you don’t know how he doesn’t get tired of overcoming them.

“You’ll have whatever vengeance you need,” Hansol promises. He nuzzles to you closer. “I’d do anything for you.”

Once upon a time, your mother thought her god superseded everything. She swore her god was omnipotent, that he would save her and punish the evil around her. He’d never done anything for her, though. Never answered her prayers, never struck down anyone who raised a hand against her, never opened up the skies to cleanse the earth from evil.

Your god answered your prayers. He struck down those who wished you harm, he erased those who stood in your way. He loved you and rewarded you for your love in turn. He cleansed you. Protected you. Allowed no weapon formed against you to prosper.

Hansol was your god, and you were his vengeful angel.

SYNDICATE ROLES

Tower - title for a Syndicate boss Wisdom - title for the second-in-command to a Sydicate boss Sentinel - title for the main military leader of a Syndicate Riots - title for a member of the Syndicate responsible for sowing discord Swords - title for a member of the Syndicate who is a fighter/military role Chariots - members of the Syndicate who make deals/act as business brokers Rooks - members of the Syndicate who collect debts/lead the extortion practices Justices - members of the Syndicate on the legal counsel Hanged Men - members of the Syndicate who betrayed their Syndicate Watchers - members of a Syndicate who are spies/informants Patrons - citizens who pay homage/have an alliance/are under the protection of a Syndicate Vanguard - official members of the Syndicate who don't have specific roles but do work for the Syndicate

TAG LIST

@ddaddunugu @ourkivee @tie-nn @cookiearmy @thesunsfullmoon @stray-bi-kids @ldysmfrst @thepoopdokyeomtouched @eoieopda @onlywon4u @hopeless-foolery @iamawkwardandshy @gyuguys @codeinebelle @Burnt-horizons @ateez-atiny380 @abibliolife @idubiluranghae @bultaereume @yoongznme @kaitieskidmore97 @coffee-addict-kitten @coralpenguinbeard @gyubakeries @archivistworld @hipsdofangirl @asyre @aksweet7 @bunnybeaer @valenhui @fxckinbreathe @agustamygdala7 @kaepjjangiya @fancypeacepersona @beckyloveshannie @SecretFoxBear @babycaratdeul @aiforyuu @imujings

#vernon smut #chwe vernon smut #hansol smut #chwe hansol smut #svt smut #vernon angst #hansol angst #svt fic #vernon fic #vernon x reader #vernon x you #hansol x reader #mafia svt #mafia vernon #svt angst #svt fanfic #svt imagines #svt x reader

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gracieheartspedro · 1 month ago

Text

Lotus Eater | chapter 1 - 3.6k words

my main masterlist - eddie masterlist - series masterlist

find the next chapter here

summary: after a series of unfortunate events, eddie is your only way to school. months of riding in the car with him turns into an unlikely friendship between him, the town freak, and you, the overachieving loser.

warnings: slow burn, 18+ mdni, abusive/shitty parents, mental illnesses (anxiety, ocd, etc.), bullying, reader has a shit friend, eddie is snarky, nicknames (sunshine, sweetheart, etc.), eddie is flirty but reader finds him annoying lol

a/n: hiiii first chapter is here! thank you all for your patience! I don't have a set schedule of posting with this one, but I do have the second chapter written and everything outlined, so maybe twice a month? idk lol! pls leave your thoughts and love <3 if you wanna be added to the tag list, please comment on the series masterlist! also thank u to @pedgito for making the gif headers for me! love u big <3

The hiss of the engine was enough to send you into pure madness.

You are only a month into your senior year. Anxiety is the only emotion you can fester nowadays. When it was not your school work, it was your family, and if it was not that, it was stupid things like this. Your car will not start and you are already running behind your strict schedule. No thanks to your fuck-up of a father, you did not have an alarm clock. The last three days you have been banking on your body just to naturally pull you from sleep. It failed you today.

You sit in your 1970 Vega and simply wish it would explode with you in it.

You would miss the math test that you needed to pass to keep your A with Mr. Davis. The twist in the pit of your stomach was enough to make you retch at the thought of it.

If you had a normal family, you would go back inside your single-wide trailer and ask your Mom or Dad to come out and help you assess the situation. But you did not have that privilege as your Mom was a waitress at Hawkin’s Family Diner in the mornings and your Dad worked at a tile-making company overnight and worked until 9 am. You had no one to come save you.

You cannot accept your fate so you get out of the red junker and pop the hood. You could maybe bang on some metal and spark something to make it come to life.

You prop up the hood, using the thin metal rod to ensure it does not come crashing down on your head. All you see are wires and pipes and things you do not understand. You do not even know where to start. Maybe it was the battery? You push on the tiny parts of the box, smacking it for safe measure. You go back to the front seat and try to start it again, still clicking.

“Fuck…” You whisper to yourself, checking your watch to see if there is enough time to spare if you start sprinting to Hawkin’s High. You would be cutting it close and your heart may stop from exhaustion, but it was very possible.

You decide to give the hood one last try. You grab the ice scraper that you keep in the back seat and carry it to the mess of metal.

And you just wail on everything. It was cathartic, banging plastic against metal as hard as you could. When one part of the scraper flies up and hits the concrete next to you, you turn slightly, catching a person in your immediate peripheral.

“Ain’t gonna start it doin’ that.”

His voice makes the hairs on your neck stand up. You scrunch your face, drop the scraper on the dead grass, and turn to face the guy.

Eddie Munson. Forest Hills Trailer Park’s resident drug dealer. Hawkins High’s freak show and general nuisance.

“Wasn’t tryin’ to, Munson.”

Your voice is smaller than you wanted it to be. You were not nervous around Eddie, per se, but he did have this aura around him always. He is confident and very sure of himself. Very much the opposite of you. You may have been smart, almost at the very top of your class, but you were not popular. You were quiet and reserved around most of your classmates, only surprising them occasionally with snarky comments and slights. Most people did not have much of an opinion of you and you did not reside in one specific clique. You had your best friend, Kacey, and you had your teachers. You did not play into the politics of high school, it truly did not interest you at all. You did your school work and you left. You were only there to get a diploma and skip town.

Eddie Munson loved the politics of high school because it gave him enough ammunition to dismantle those around him. He loved to test the popular kids. He enjoyed messing with teachers and ignoring their instructions. He infuriated you mostly, but on occasion, you would find yourself pretty fascinated with him. He was older than you, only by a year. You had just turned 18 two weeks into senior year, while he was 19 and stuck in his senior year again. You silently wonder if he just wants to stay a kid forever and failing high school was his way to be treated like one.

You could not psycho-analyze him much longer, especially when he’s leaning over you to look inside the bay of your car.

“Looks like your battery is dead. Maybe a bad alternator,” He remarks, his voice raspy. You must be the first person he’s talked to this morning. Or he smoked extra as soon as he woke up.

You did not know what would fix a dead battery, but buying a new one sounded like more than you were able to spend. You had a good eight dollars and fifty cents to your name. You had not picked up a shift at the diner in about two weeks, mainly because that would mean having to interact with your mother.

And your parents were surely not going to help, their money only being theirs.

You were filling your shampoo bottle with water to try to get the last bits of it. You ate pot noodles almost every night. You were in no way able to buy a car battery.

The spiral was written all over your face and Eddie noticed it rather quickly.

“Hey, hey, it’s fine… I can give you a lift to school for today.”

As he’s muttering the words, you are sputtering out a bunch of nonsense, the realization finally hits you. “It’s not fine, I’m gonna miss my math test and I need to fuckin’ pass and this fuckin’ car is all I have and I don’t have the money to spend on getting a fuckin’ battery…”

He grabs your shoulder rather abruptly, staring down at you with his curls falling in his eyes slightly. The touch is enough to shut you up.

“I can drive you to school. Just… come on,” He barks, his tone indicating it is an order. The thought of getting in his van sparks your anxiety further. You have been made aware that he drives like a maniac, riding over curbs on two wheels. And he was going to take you to school?

“Eddie, I-”

He is already walking away, “Grab your backpack, we are gonna be late!”

He was your only hope to get to school. As annoying and nerve-wracking as it was, you knew his offering was your saving grace. You jog to grab your backpack out of your back seat, shutting all your doors. You hear him start up his hunk of metal and rev the engine. You silently curse to yourself as you slam the hood of your car down. Happy Wednesday to you.

Your leg will not stop bouncing. The school was about a 10-minute drive, but at the rate Eddie drove, you would be there in 2 minutes.

The idea of having to fork out an absorbent amount of money to get your car running has you sick. You had just got an oil change not too long ago and that drained all the money you had. You would have to pick up some shifts at the diner. You jokingly think that you could get in on Eddie’s lucrative market and start dealing out your Father’s pain pills. You could bank that money quickly.

“So… a math test?”

You groan in the very back of your throat, trying your best to forget the total meltdown you had in front of Eddie. You did not do that often, only when you feel the world crashing all around you. And God did it feel like it was.

“Yes, a math test,” You lick your lips, not looking over at him, just tapping your fingers on your pant leg.

You can practically feel him staring into the side of your face, a smirk painting across his face, “You get worked up over math like that all the time?”

And this is why you ignored Eddie Munson.

All the times life offered you a conversation with the guy, it only led to bitter banter. For some reason, Eddie was good at getting under your skin. Even when he was not speaking to you, you just had the urge to let him have it. He was painfully sarcastic. He was quick with his replies like he had them all banked in his back pocket.

“I can’t let my GPA slip under 3.8,” You retort, noticing some construction signs ahead. Looks like there is road work on the road that leads straight to the entrance to the school. Perfect. More actual and metaphorical roadblocks in the way.

“They can get that high?”

Your neck practically snaps to look over at the dumbass to your left. “Eddie… what is your GPA?”

“Maybe 2?”

You are not ever stunned into silence, but his response shakes you to your core. You cannot disguise how perplexed you are. You inhale sharply, getting an even larger whiff of the cigarette buds that litter the ashtray right below the shitty radio.

“There’s no way,” You whisper, not hiding your surprise.

The giggle that comes from your left is almost maniacal. He thinks it is funny that he is skating by through life. Well, high school. And maybe his life.

“If there’s a will, there’s a way, sunshine,” He beams, turning down another road to avoid the bright orange cones in the road. “I’m not the top in the class, like you.”

“I’m not, I’m second in the class. And don't call me sunshine. It's weird.”

His scoff makes your skin crawl. You truly just wish the conversation would end. “Well, must suck living in the shadow of our valedictorian.”

It has a bit of bite to it. You did not take Eddie for vicious, especially since he was nice enough to drive you to school.

“I hope you never graduate.”

He smiles.

The school parking lot seems bare, probably due to the traffic coming in. Eddie parks pretty far from the front door, much to your dismay. You pull your backpack into your lap, tossing him a look.

“Uh… thanks,” You clear your throat, trying to find a way to repay him for taking on the responsibility of toting you around.

“No problem. I can take you home today if need be,” He pulls some cigarettes out of his vest pocket, placing the stick between his lips. You pull your eyes away, trying to come up with an excuse not to rely on him again. But you did not have another way home and the bus was just not an option. They usually missed your stop every single time you were forced to be on it. Arguing with the old woman who made you walk a mile home in the rain last year was just not in the cards for you.

You bite your lip, peeling some skin away, “Could you?”

He flicks his lighter a couple of times, sparking the fire and bringing it to the end of the cigarette.

“Yeah, no problem. We can try to figure out your car later, too,” The offer was odd to you. Why was he trying to help you? What was in it for him?

“We?” You press, reaching for the horizontal door handle. He smiles, the tobacco hanging loosely from his lips.

“Yeah, don’t need to watch you bang the engine with that ice scraper again. It was kinda embarrassing.”

Your cheeks heat up, instantly feeling humiliated that he watched you do that. You drive your shoulder into the door, pushing yourself out of his van. “I’ll see you after school.”

You were beginning to hate your best friend. Just another great addition to your Wednesday.

After a grueling time with your math test first period, you were eager to spend quality time with her during your second-period Spanish class. As soon as you entered the classroom, you did not see her in her usual spot in the back right corner with you. Instead, she was sitting in the dead center with her stupid new boyfriend.

You and Kacey had been friends since sixth grade. She had been more popular and outgoing than you, but she always rejected hanging out with the more “in” crowds. That was until last year when she met Gabriel. He went by Gabe, but who the hell cares what he went by? He was a total asshole.

The first day you spoke to him, he told you that your shirt looked like something you would find at the consignment shop in downtown Hawkins. It was not anything special by all means, but it was just a simple gray sweater with a small burn hole in the sleeve. When he said that to you, Kacey said nothing and just cracked a pristine smile at him and giggled. You ignored them for the rest of the lunch period.

Now he’s all she talks about. You used to go to her house after school and work on homework, watch bad TV, and giggle about how pathetic the popular kids were, and now she’s becoming one of them.

You were never going to fit in with that crowd, and frankly, you did not care to. All they cared about were the superficial things. You cared about school and your future while all of them wondered where the next party would be. Who would bring the alcohol? Who would they get to sleep with?

You pout when you see her cuddled up to him, weaving your way through the desks to sit in your usual spot. Your blood runs cold when her boyfriend hands her a small baggie under their desks, a white powder settled at the very bottom. You did own a pair of glasses, but you do not believe you would need them to understand what Gabe was offering her.

You want to jump up and scream her name, stopping her from grabbing the baggie, but your teacher starts to drone on about the topic of the hour.

You cannot peel your eyes away from Kacey as she carefully and methodically pours the powder on the very tip of her finely manicured fingernail and quickly snort it, while Gabe disguises the action with a loud cough.

Your eyes must be deceiving you.

She’s doing drugs in the middle of class and everyone around you is oblivious.

You really try to pay attention to your teacher’s discussion on the Declaration of Independence, but your hand will not stop shaking. Your handwriting is messy and unreadable. You would have to copy someone else’s notes later.

When the bell rings and everyone spills into the hallway to go to lunch, you practically sprint after Kacey.

Whatever drug she took had her eyes half-lidded as her legs practically dragged behind Gabe. She is stumbling into people as you try to make your way through the crowd after her. By the time you reach her, you are in the middle of the cafeteria. You reach out for her hand, tugging her only slightly. It throws her and Gabe completely off balance and you make quick movements to stop her from crumbling to the floor.

“What did you take?”

Your voice is accusatory, which it almost always is to a fault. Her overplucked eyebrows furrow at your question, almost like the gears in her brain do not fully comprehend what the question is hinting at.

She clears her throat, snatching her hand away from yours. “What are you talking about?”

You search her face for any reason. She’s already being abrasive and confrontational, which makes your stomach roll. Gabe tucks his arm around her waist, practically holding her up. He looks pretty gone as well, but you did not give two shits about the state of him.

“I saw what you did in Donaldson’s class. What was it?” You press, trying not to raise your voice. As much as you wanted to scream in her face, you knew causing a scene would only make the situation much worse.

She scoffs, tilting her head back onto Gabe’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. The better question is why the hell did I see you leaving The Freak’s van this morning?”

You swallow, tugging the strap to your fraying backpack. “My car wouldn’t start. He gave me a ride.”

Gabe’s head throws back into a booming laugh, catching the nearby table’s attention.

“You are hangin’ out with The Freak?”

Instead of caving into his stupidity, you roll your eyes and cross your arms tightly over your chest. “Kacey-”

She cuts you off with a wave of her hand in your face. She’s dismissing you and the feeling of rejection settles deeply in your chest. Your mouth snaps shut, knowing this is going nowhere and you would just have to settle with the fact your friend was being dragged away from you. It is like years of friendship dissipates when she shoos you away.

“Go sit with your Freak.”

You know better than to cry. Instead of arguing back, you shift to your other foot and walk out of the cafeteria. You would just eat your granola bar in the library, silent and dismissed.

By the end of the day, you slowly mosy out to Eddie’s van and wait for him to arrive. Your last class of the day is right outside the front door, so you knew you would beat him. He is easy to spot in the crowd of students, much taller with those frizzy untamed curls.

He sees you quickly, too. You try to look as unphased as possible, but you know you are being watched from across the lot by Kacey and her new goons.

Eddie approaches with a couple of his friends. You recognize a couple of them, specifically Gareth. He was a dorky kid who shifted into a metalhead junior year. His mousey curls were always shielding his eyes and his shirts always looked overly distressed, like he took scissors to them. Eddie’s shirts were similar, but you could tell that they were just naturally overworn and abused.

Gareth catches your gaze, smiling a perfectly straight grin. He was always very polite every time you two shared a class. He was your biology partner sophomore year and he always took on dealing with the dissections and gross lab projects. For that, you were in his debt.

“Hey, Gareth,” You say with a nod of your head, “Long time no see.”

He shakes some of the curls out of his vision, “How’s it going?”

It is a loaded question and you know he does not mean it to be. You just shrug, trying your best to not look as stressed as you feel.

“It’s fine.”

You scrunch your nose, looking away as if to avoid your own response. He laughs, smacking Eddie as he lights up a cigarette. “Eddie told me your car is dead.”

You shoot Eddie a look as if to say ‘what the fuck dude?’. You did not really care that people knew about your car troubles. If anything, you are glad some people know so they can rationalize why you are traveling around with Eddie.

You still wanted to give Eddie a piece of your mind.

He raises his eyebrows at you, “What? He wanted to know why I was toting you around all of a sudden. Not every day that you see a popular-adjacent girl hanging out with the Freak.”

Gareth speaks up with a better defense. “Hey, don’t worry about him. If you need some extra help with the car, let me know. I am a bit better with them than Eddie is.”

You cannot stop yourself from smiling at his kindness. Gareth was always pretty genuine and polite. A true gentleman, unlike his counterpart. You did not even begin to understand how these two could possibly be friends.

“Thanks, I appreciate that. I… We have to get home,” Your eyes flicker back to Eddie, whose smirk takes up most of his face.

“That’s right, gotta get sunshine home so she can read her books and actually do homework,” He jests, pulling his cigarette out from between his lips. You watch him ash the end of the bud jokingly near Gareth’s arm, a small smile pulling at his lips. You narrow your eyes at him, trying your best to keep yourself from reprimanding him like a toddler. Gareth swats his arm away, waving to you two as he heads towards his sedan.

You yank open the van’s door handle and climb up inside. Eddie takes a moment at the front end of the van, taking a couple of puffs before he drops the filter on the ground and presses it into the concrete with his sneakers. You watch him get in as you buckle your seatbelt, his lips pursed as he lets out smoke.

“How was your test? Forgot to ask,” His voice is husky, probably from the dryness of his cigarette. You try to think that far back in the day, and honestly, it was the last thing on your mind. Even though this morning was what consumed your entire being, you had bigger issues now.

“I think I passed,” You manage to say, thinking back to the events that happened right after first period. “Let’s hope.”

Eddie watches you from the driver’s side, his hands searching for the keys in his vest’s pocket.

“Good. You probably killed it, you’re a smarty pants,” He finds the key and jams it straight into the ignition, “Do you still want me to help you with the car tonight?”

The thought of having to stand outside with Eddie while it gets dark was the last thing you really wanted to do. But you really wanted your car to work.

“If you can.”

He throws the van into drive, slowly letting his foot off the brake, “Of course I can. What are neighbors for?”

find the next chapter here

ty @saradika-graphics for the dividers!

taglist: @moon-esque @walleloveseve @kellsck @awkward00noodle @person-005 @emxxblog

#welcome to the chaos that is this fucking fic #eddie munson #eddie munson fic #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson angst #eddie stranger things #eddie munson fanfiction #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things #fic: lotus eater #gracieheartspedro #thank u finneas for your contribution to the name of the fic #iykyk

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earthtooz · 10 months ago

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earth i need to catch up on ur ratio fics (i read some of flower one and i ate that shit up omg) because now the thought of seething annoying veritas being all angry whenever you even look at someone else infests my mind like an annoying worm. i hope you know this is what those fics do to me

x : EQUILIBRIUM : *+ﾟ

in which: ratio navigates through the perplexities of pining after you.

warnings: fluff, 1.6k words, intelligentsia guild!gn!reader is kind of a social butterfly and talkative, ratio is so pathetic i love him T^T, alcohol, aventurine feature! my writing isn't the best for this one i apologise :,D

a/n: thank u for the ask mhie!! i wanted to say that you enabled me perfectly because ever since his release, i've only ever thought about this one scenario where he's staring at reader from afar and absolutely seething because he's not the one talking to them xD sorry for taking so long omfg and im sorry for turning this into a fic, i just saw my opportunity and lunged at it like an animal rawr

Jealousy and envy are not familiar concepts to Dr. Ratio.

He knows of them, understands the inner workings and philosophical aptitude of both, knowing that they lead man down irrational paths. Yet, for all his years, he has not felt the bitterness of jealousy and envy squeeze him, cannot fathom why one cannot control their feelings and maintain modesty.

Perhaps, the root of it was whatever Ratio wanted, he received. The only thing he has ever craved is knowledge, and it is available for him with the flick of a page, absorbing even the most complex of theories with ease. Conceptual, mathematical, scientific- not a single school of thought has hidden itself from his vast mind, proven by the many PhDs he has with his name.

Everything fickle that anyone could ever crave has long been his.

Envious over someone else’s wealth? Money comes and goes, and merely serves as a medium of exchange. As long as he has enough to live comfortably, then he is content. Having too much of one thing can often result in a bottomless pit of wanting more, and material good was perhaps the most evil of all.

Jealous over someone else’s beauty? Compliments and adoration are not an unfamiliar concept to him; one glance at what’s under that stone mask will have others fawning over him instantly. He claims the mask is to protect him from idiots, but perhaps it also serves to shield others from the walking sculpture that is the Veritas Ratio, sharp features and toned body, there is nothing undesirable about him.

In conclusion, jealousy and envy are not familiar concepts to Dr. Ratio. Until he met you.

A fellow member of the Intelligentsia Guild but in another department, you too are a favoured delegate of the IPC, frequently attending the same events and trips as him. Thus, it was only natural that you’d become acquainted and that he’d grow to respect you, hearing about your achievements and dedications as an academic. What was unnatural, however, was the palpitations of his heart, weakness in his knees, paired with an overwhelming excitement to see you.

He’s no fool. These sensations were all symptoms of romantic attraction, but you were a variable uncounted for in the distribution of his life, and he was not ready for an outlier so powerful that it completely ‘skewed’ him over.

Now, he laments in the corner of champagne parties meant for socialites. He is no lover of mundane interaction but as his contract with the IPC, he comes as a representative of the Intelligentsia Guild.

These formal events always drained the life out of him, needing him to discard his everyday, flowey, carefree attire for a constraining suit, conforming him into the regular majority.

He raises the glass of champagne to his lips and takes a small sip, the liquor serves as lubricant to the throat. The smooth finish of the drink is exactly what he needs; talking about the same subject again and again becomes exhausting, and even though it is in his role criteria, Ratio cannot wait to leave.

But he won’t, because he hasn’t seen you yet.

Glancing around the room for the upteemth time this evening, you still have not entered his line of sight, and he leans against the bar in disappointment.

“Oh, why the long face, Ratio?” A mischievous voice coos from beside him. “It’s not a good look on you.”

“Spare me your sentiments, gambler,” Ratio spits back.

“As you wish. Not enjoying the party?”

“If you have something you wish to say then please, spare me the pleasantries.”

Aventurine laughs, all boisterous and extravagant, gold jewelry clicking against each other, as if coming alive to match his jovialness. He really is a personified headache. “You’re looking for someone, aren’t you?”

The scholar tenses, muscles tugging at the stiff fabric of his blazer, but that micro action was enough of an answer for Aventurine.

A gloved hand points up to the mezzanine of the grand hall. Ratio spots you, leaning against the railing whilst conversing with another man, one briefly talked to earlier. If he didn’t like him before, then he certainly didn’t now.

Handsome face turning into a small scowl, it’s almost as if you feel the intensity of a certain, golden stare, causing you to turn around and find the source, eyes eventually landing on the figures of a coworker or two. A brief smile graces your face before you turn around again, turning your back on the two onlookers.

Ratio loathes what he sees, and something within him yearns to be the only man you look at, causing an ugly, green sensation to brew within him; a concoction that can only be labelled as ‘jealousy’.

He just cannot figure out what other men have that he doesn’t; what is making him secondary in your heart? Why do you give these... idiots the time of day when you could be with him- talking to him?

It's all too perplexing, you make him perplexed.

“Well, go on, doctor,” Aventurine prompts. “Place your bets before it’s too late.”

The purple-haired sighs, pushing himself off the bar. His feet take him to you, up the velvet-carpeted stairs. His gaze never strays from you, ensuring you stay within his line of sight and eventually, he stops right behind you, acting as a looming shadow.

His gaze is cold, hoping to pierce through your conversation partner so he can finally cower away and make room for Ratio.

“Doctor!” You exclaim, surprised by his sudden appearance. “When did you get here?”

Taking a hint, the stranger finally begins to peel himself away. “It was lovely talking to you, Y/n. I hope this won’t be our last conversation.”

“Likewise, have a lovely evening,” you farewell him with a small smile as the other party turns and eventually disappears from sight.

Finally. Triumph and victory settles in Ratio’s chest when your attention is directed solely at him, but you look up at him with arms crossed and a raised eyebrow.

“I swore I saw you downstairs moments ago, how did you get up here so fast?”

“I simply walked a normal pace, is that so abnormal?”

“I suppose not,” you huff, rolling your eyes. Veritas allows himself a glance over of your outfit, admiring you. “Have you talked to anyone interesting?”

You are by far the most interesting part of the evening, he thinks.

“Hardly,” he murmurs.

“My guess is that you’d prefer to be grading student papers?” You muse, leaning in closer.

His heartbeat spikes. “Well, that is hard to say. Which would you prefer?”

“As much as I love my students, I need a break from the same thesis statements regurgitated in different formats. I’d rather be here.”

“Then that is my answer too.”

You give him a look that says ‘really?’, clearly not believing his aloof statement. Truthfully, he would rather be here because here is where you are, and he’d like a few moments with you before returning to the gloominess of his office. The hour hand is only at 11, what’s the rush?

Then, your eyes flicker to his neckline and they widen briefly, as if finding an issue with his tuxedo. “Hold still,” you command, hands coming up to rest on his sturdy chest.

You’re fixing his tie, he realises, feeling the fabric tighten ever so slightly as you adjust it. When you’re done, you flatten out the material with a satisfied smile, running your hands casually over his chest, and he hopes you cannot feel his heart jump. How do you touch him so easily, as if it means nothing?

“It was crooked,” you explain, “now you are looking as sharp as ever, Doc.”

“Thank you,” is the best thing he can sputter out.

“No problem, we need to have our genius looking proper at all times!”

Ratio is too stunned to speak, he fears that if he tried, whatever leaves his mouth will result in a various garbles and attempts at sentences.

Thankfully, you haven’t run out of words to say. “Oh, I have yet to get a drink! Will you accompany me? I could go for some refreshments right now.”

He nods and extends an arm for you to hold, and you happily accept it, holding onto his bicep as you ramble on about a conversation exchanged earlier in the night. If you were anyone else, he would not have cared in the slightest, but instead, he listens intently, taking slow and measured steps downstairs so you are comfortable.

In this bubble, the esteemed scholar is content. With you so close, it feels as if everything has clicked into place, like the scales of fate have finally balanced and equilibrium has been achieved. He could listen to you forever.

Unfortunately, all good things don’t last, because a face Ratio doesn’t recognise approaches you, hand resting on your shoulder. Judging from the manner of which they address and talk to you, you are close, and you don’t shrug them off. Next thing he knows, you’re ripped away from him, dragged into the sea of people.

You spare him a glance over your shoulder, as if apologising for the sudden disruption.

Still, he sighs, left behind with nothing but fervent symptoms of love clinging to his being, squeezing him for all he is.

#earthtooz: honkai star rail #dr ratio x reader #veritas ratio x reader #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #ratio x reader #dr ratio fluff

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silens-oro · 2 months ago

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Well Enough Alone: Part IX

Not all fics have adult content, but this blog is 18+. Andrew "Pope" Cody x f!Reader (nicknamed Hawk) Prologue Cut the Loss (companion piece) Part I Part II Chicken Hawk (companion piece) Part III Part IV Trespassing (companion piece) Part V Part VI Slowly We Unfurl (companion piece) Hold on to the Thread (companion piece) But I'll Always Remember (pre-WEA companion piece)

Masterlist Pope Cody Playlist GirlDad!Pope Baby AU Masterlist

General Synopsis: Everything comes to a head. Word Count: 5.9k Content Warning: typical animal kingdom warnings, heavy angst, mention of miscarriage, murder, Baz & Hawk straight up beefin'. AN: Don't ask me how I wrote this entire thing today because I do not have an answer for you. Here's a lil Friday treat since you all have been so kind. Also, "treat" is used very loosely here because this one is going to hurt 🤭 please comment & reblog :)

Pope didn’t come home at all that night and Hawk didn’t wait up for him. She set an alarm before falling asleep in the vast emptiness of her bed so she could wake up with enough time to make Lena some breakfast before school, and then promptly passed out at 4:30 that morning. Pope usually handled anything early in the morning since he was up anyway, but in his on and off absence the last couple of weeks, Hawk took the reins just like she did this morning. She fell back into the routine she had with J when he was Lena’s age, and she came to the realization that she truly missed those years.

Nicky helped carry Lena out to the car for Hawk since her ribs were still giving her trouble, and Lena only cracked her eyes open for a moment when Hawk was buckling her into the backseat.

“I get to go with you and Uncle Pope tonight?” Her tiny voice mumbled out.

“Of course you do, sweetpea.” Hawk replied sweetly. “I’m so sorry you had to go through this tonight. To make up for it, how about some pancakes in the morning before school? I’ll even do some with chocolate chips. Sound good?”

“With the smiley faces?”

“Absolutely. Can’t have chocolate chip pancakes without smiley faces. That’s just not right.” Hawk joked with a grin. Lena sleepily smiled back and nodded, her eyes fluttering closed as she lost the uphill battle with the sandman. Hawk gently closed the door before meeting Pope at the driver's side with her arms crossed over her chest.

“Thank you for coming to get her.”

“You know me –someone calls my phone and I answer.”

“Hawk-”

“-It’s just weird how you answered J’s call, but I haven’t been able to get a hold of you all day, Pope.” Hawk was exhausted, mentally and physically and he could see it. Hawk’s eyes burned and her body ached, and that headache she tried to hold off was barreling its way forward behind her eyes every time she blinked. “Apparently you didn’t learn the last time -I’m not doing this again, Andy. I’m tired. I’m exhausted. I’m in pain. This family is driving me up the fucking wall and I can’t worry about when you’ll turn up again when you decide to fall off the face of the fucking Earth while also worrying about Lena.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t need an apology, Pope. I just need you to be present. I have no idea what the hell Baz is doing, but Lena could’ve been killed tonight for his negligence –do you understand that? And he’s bringing Lucy here after Smurf is suddenly arrested?” Hawk shook her head, looking around the trashed driveway. “Something isn’t adding up with any of this, Pope. I don’t know what Baz did to get her locked up, but you, Deran, and Craig need to be careful. He’s never been trustworthy. I know you love him like a brother, but my gut has never been wrong. I may not always listen to it, but it is never wrong. I need you to trust me on that.” He nodded, looking past her through the windshield to Lena’s sleeping figure that was slumped over in the backseat. “Smurf is a lot of things, but she isn’t stupid. We both know that. She does stupid things, but she’s calculated. She didn’t want Lucy in this family’s business for a reason.” Pope stepped forward, hesitating before pulling Hawk to him in a hug. He kissed the crown of her head and her arms draped themselves loosely around his waist. God, he needed her. Her touch, her warmth, her love. Everything about her, he would take and take and take until she refused to give.

Selfish

Selfish, his brain chanted.

“I’ll be home later, after I’m done dealing with this.” He spoke softly into her ear as he let his head fall into the crook of her neck. His lips found their home just behind her ear and he felt her breathe against him.

“Yeah.” Hawk sighed with a subtle shake of her head as she pulled away from Pope before turning to get in the driver’s seat. Pope thought back to the gun he held in his hands right before J called him, and how ready he was to end everything at that lifeguard stand on the beach. All he could think about was Cath, about the conversation he had with that detective, about the fact that she didn’t flip on them. He thought about how he was the source of Hawk’s problems as of late, whether she knew they stemmed from him or not. He ended one woman’s life that he cared about, and was actively ruining another’s that he loved.

And Lena…all of her problems, present and future, were because of a choice he made.

“Hawk,” Pope called out to her, his voice cracking as he looked at her with an infinite sadness that penetrated her heart. He cleared his throat when she held the door open, waiting for him to continue. “I love you. Both of you. Let me know when you get home, alright? So I know you’re safe.” Hawk nodded, albeit reluctantly.

Pope's behavior was off, way more off than his usual scale of what he dealt with -what she was used to. This Pope…this Pope was desolate, starved, trapped. He was drowning in a way she couldn’t recognize nor comprehend, but he refused to let her in for any kind of solace. She knew he needed it, but how can you save someone who didn’t think they deserved to breathe in the first place?

“I love you, too, Andy.” Hawk whispered. “Don’t stay out too late.”

Hawk recalled a conversation she had with Pope about kids of their own, and her chest tightened as she thought about doing all of this while pregnant. The stress alone would probably make her miscarry, and she had to bite her lip to stop from outwardly crying as she mixed the batter for the pancakes she promised Lena. The idea of bringing an infant into this dynamic -a dynamic that was only eroding by the day, made a deep rooted dread pool in the pit of her stomach because while she didn’t deserve to deal with the mess that was happening, and a baby sure as hell didn’t either.

The sound of the front door opening and closing with a click broke Hawk out of her thoughts. She took a deep, shuddering breath as she puttered around the kitchen to keep herself busy. Pope didn’t know what to say to Hawk as he approached the noise coming from the kitchen. He didn’t know what there was to say.

“Can you wake Lena up? I’m about to start some pancakes.” Hawk didn’t look at him as she turned the stove on, grabbing a pan from the drawer underneath the stove.

“J has power of attorney over Smurf’s assets.” Pope muttered as he stood out of Hawk’s way. He saw her brows scrunch together as she ladled small dollops of batter onto the griddle pan. She let them cook for a few moments, letting them start to bubble on top before she added chocolate chips in a smiley face design. “Do you know anything about that?” Pope’s tone wasn’t accusatory. He didn’t think she’d keep something like that from him, but he still had to ask.

And it still irked Hawk that he did.

“Why would I know anything about that? Why would I know anything about Smurf’s business?” She snapped at him, spatula in hand as she turned to face him.

“Baz framed her for killing Javi.” Hawk scoffed, flipping the pancakes over.

“Didn’t she?” Hawk asked sarcastically as she put the pancakes on a plate before adding more batter to the griddle. That whole situation was another mess. Hawk told Pope to let her know when it was done, and she let it rest after that. No questions, no explanations. Done was done.

“Smurf paid Javi’s own guy to do it so she wouldn’t be tied to it. Baz knew where the body was, and tied her to the scene by planting all the evidence and called it in.”

“What did I tell you? What did I tell you.” Hawk said with a shake of her head. “Were any of your brothers in on it?”

“No,” Pope sighed, rubbing his hands over his face. "And neither was J."

“Can’t say I’m surprised he finally bit Smurf in the ass. The whole ‘snake eating itself’ thing -can't say it isn't jingling my jimmies. She was smart to move things over to J before Baz knew what was coming. I’m guessing it happened when you guys pulled your little coup against her because God forbid her darling boys not follow her word as scripture. I’m more surprised that Baz didn’t think he’d be punished for it. Lord knows she’s done worse to you guys for less. I’m sure Baz had a very stable reaction to that news when he found out.”

“He’s pissed, and it put a target on J’s back.” Hawk hummed in response.

“How do you feel about it?”

“I think she was right to take Baz off of the accounts. She’s not just punishing Baz -she’s punishing all of us. She knows J isn’t going to let go of anything without her saying so while she’s locked up. He wanted to sell everything and split it.”

"And you don't?"

"No. If he's lucky, she stays in there until she's dead. But Baz isn't lucky."

"No he is not." Hawk added her two cents. “Baz shouldn’t have crossed mommy dearest.” She said with a shrug. “If J signed those papers, then he’s well aware of the consequences that may pop up -and I’m sure Smurf told him as much. If he thinks he can handle doing the shit you guys do, then I can’t stop him.” Hawk plated the first set of little pancakes along with some cut strawberries for Lena. “Now can you please wake Lena up before her food gets cold?” Pope was thrown by her nonchalance, especially towards J. He watched her move around the kitchen for a moment, but did as she asked, trying to not rock the boat that was slowly taking on water once again.

A couple days had passed and Pope was still tiptoeing around Hawk. She wasn’t unwelcoming or rude, but she let him know loud and clear that she was frustrated with him. She didn’t let it show while Lena was in the room with them, but when it was just the two of them, it was abundantly clear.

Pope wanted to touch her, to hold her, to be held by her. He knew she was still having nightmares, that she wasn’t sleeping at night like she used to. He saw it on her face day in and day out that she was struggling, but she wouldn’t talk to him about it because she felt like she couldn’t talk to him about it. He was emotionally unavailable as of recent and she felt like she was adrift out at sea without so much as a goddamn paddle.

Hawk would busy herself at the shop when she wasn’t with Lena. That was the place she haunted when she would have normally been home because there was nothing there for her while Pope was MIA and Lena was with Baz or at school. Making arrangements and bouquets, re-potting houseplants and getting plants ready in the greenhouse to move up front to the storefront kept her mind and hands busy in a way she desperately craved as an escape from reality.

She’d have to catch herself on days she leaned a little too hard into being mean -not just to Pope either. This funk Hawk had been in was pushing her into a decline she was starting to see for herself and she didn’t like it for a single second, but there was only so much a person could bend before they broke. She gave, and gave, and gave, and gave, but sometimes it felt good to not give -not because she couldn’t, but because she didn’t want to.

Hawk knew she needed to speak with someone about all of this -a therapist preferably, but how could she frame the mess that was her life without giving the real context of what it was?

Pope and Hawk dropped off Lena that morning at school, then headed to Smurf’s. Hawk didn’t have a good feeling about whatever they were going to walk into with this family meeting, but Pope asked her to be there. He knew she didn’t want any involvement in the politics of the family, and she hadn’t been part of a family meeting since Pope got arrested, but he had seen first hand what was going on with Baz -that he was up to something- and he needed her there with him.

Now as she sat on the red sofa in the den next to Pope (purposefully not thinking about what she had seen happen on the cushion she occupied during that house party), his hand rested on her thigh, she would’ve rather not been involved at all. Her eyes caught J’s and she nodded to let him know that she knew. He gave a nod back, his eyes meeting Baz’s when he stepped between them.

“What’s she doing here?” Baz motioned to Nicky.

“Weird question." Hawk spoke up before J could answer. "What’s she doing here?” Hawk gestured to Lucy with an incredulous laugh, who only looked at Hawk with a smug tilt to her lips. Hawk only grew more irritable as the days passed and she had no tolerance for whatever Baz was about to pull.

“I asked her to be here.” Baz replied simply.

“Interesting.” Hawk said, keeping her eyes on Lucy.

“I invited Hawk. I’m sure J invited Nicky.” Pope shrugged as he spoke.

“I did.” J confirmed, silently thanking Pope for speaking up.

“Fine.” Baz paced the den between Hawk and J. “Smurf gave J her power of attorney, so now J controls all the properties, the investments, the bank accounts, this house, the titles to our cars, everything. Everything that we earned that she stole from us.” Hawk’s eyes glanced at Pope, but he was watching J. “She gave it to J because she doesn’t trust us-”

“-She doesn’t trust you.” J spoke up, his words clear. Hawk felt pride when he looked Baz directly in the eye as he spoke without a single stutter. Hawk didn’t miss the look Baz shot at him as he tried to continue to manipulate the situation back in his favor. He was trying to turn the brothers against J, Hawk realized.

“Didn’t trust us to keep it safe for her. She thinks it’s all hers, not ours. What do you plan on doing with it, J? Hm? Everything that we earned —sweated over, bled for— hmm? Planning on selling it, like we all wanna do?”

“Like you want to do.” J corrected Baz. Hawk could see the veins in Baz’s neck starting to bulge with every push back that J gave him, and that his brothers weren’t stepping in didn't help either. Everyone was curious to see how this was going to play out. For all of Deran and Craig's flaws, they weren’t completely stupid -Deran least of all. He could see the forest through the trees, and Hawk could see that he was miffed that Baz didn’t include any of them on this. And if Deran wasn’t on board, then neither was Craig because where one went, the other inevitably followed.

“Oh, is it just me? Am I the only one who wants to sell it?” Baz circled the room. “Pope? Deran? Craig?” Hawk couldn’t stop the snort that escaped her, as hard as she tried. Pope’s hand squeezed her thigh in warning, but the second Baz spun to confront Hawk, she placed a hand on Pope’s flexing forearm.

“Something funny?” Baz directed his irritation to Hawk.

“I mean, yeah.” Hawk outwardly chuckled this time, not holding it in. “I’m laughing because you really thought you out-manipulated the master of manipulation, Baz.” Hawk crossed her arms over her chest as she sat back, her grin never faltering because she knew it would make him unravel. “Smurf will always be five steps ahead of you because she knows you think you’re smarter than you actually are. This dog and pony show-” She motioned with her hand, “-will only get you so far when you’re not looking at the whole picture. Even I know that.” Baz’s eyes turned into slits as he glared at Hawk.

“Were you in on this with them?” Hawk shook her head, her grin fracturing the facade he put up because she knew exactly what to do to get a rise out of him and it seemed that J had picked up on it too in her absence.

“I didn’t need to be. And I also don’t need to be a goddamn genius to know that Smurf is like a roach. Unless you take her out for good, you’ll never ever get a leg up on her." She held her hands up, "But what do I know?”

“You think you’re so goddamn smart, huh?” She shrugged, leaning into Pope’s side as she crossed her legs.

“I’d say I’m smart enough to not put my bloody feet in a piranha tank, yeah, but some people just don’t learn their lesson when it comes to getting bit, do they Baz?” Pope squeezed her leg again, but he still didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to speak for her or defend her honor, they all knew that. She always held her own when she needed to when it came to the boys of this family -it was Smurf who made her shrink back down to size.

“Well you keep finding yourself back in this fucking house, Hawk, so I’d have to agree with you.” Baz spat. He was fuming and everyone in the room could see it. Hawk leaned forward, still smiling at him knowingly.

“Whether I’m inside of this house or not, my life doesn't start or end because of Smurf, Baz. You, as you've just learned, can’t say the same.” Hawk felt Pope pull her back into his side and she let him.

“Why didn’t you tell us about what you were planning to do with Smurf?” Craig broke through their bickering. Hawk was right -they were upset he didn’t include them, but it went deeper than that. If Baz was holding out on something as important as this, then he’d hold out on other things too -that's what it all came down to with them.

“I didn’t think you were strong enough to go through with it.” Baz tried to sound like he cared, that he did it for their own good, but that bit had been thrown out the window. Deran scoffed.

“Strong enough? Screw you, Baz.” He spoke up, picking at the label of the beer bottle he was holding. Hawk could see Baz’s hackles rise as he continued to get pushback from around the room when he was expecting everyone to fall in line.

“Yeah, strong enough.” Hawk couldn’t help but feel vindicated as Baz started to bicker with Deran and Craig. Her knowing look when she caught J’s eyes gave him a boost of confidence that he’d hold onto. “Little Deran running away every time mommy hurts his feelings.” Baz taunted.

“Careful, Baz. Pissing off the only people who were in your corner might not be the way out of this.” Hawk teased, enjoying the show. Lucy watched her with understanding in her eyes as she realized that Hawk had more power with this family than she initially realized. Especially if she had Pope in her corner.

“Enough.” Pope muttered into Hawk’s ear. Her hand met his and she gave the top of it a squeeze.

“And you,” Baz motioned to Craig, still going on his tirade. “Smurf looks at you sideways and you snort ten grand up your nose.”

“Where’s the rest of what I helped you steal from that storage unit?” J spoke up again, pushing Baz further into the proverbial corner. Bingo, Hawk thought with a brow raised. Her eyes darted from J to Baz, with her interest piqued.

This also got the attention of Pope, Deran, and Craig.

Baz you stupid, stupid bastard, she thought.

“It’s safe, don’t worry about it.” Baz tried to play it off, but J wasn't going to let him get away with what he was trying to do.

“But what was in those safes, huh? There were five of them.” Pope, Craig, and Deran were not aware of the other safes and that was very clear on their faces. Oh, J was good, Hawk thought.

“What, you think I’m holding out on you?” Baz scoffed, challenging J to continue. J could feel Hawk’s eyes on him, egging him to keep pushing. J was smart, Hawk already knew this, but he seemed to have picked up the manipulation tactics that Baz thought he had.

“Yeah, I do.” That accusation, especially because it was said in front of everyone, was enough to push Baz over the edge. Baz knew he had lost what little support he had in the room, and if there was one thing he wouldn’t tolerate, it was being outsmarted by a kid.

“Who the hell do you think you are, you little shit,” Baz pushed J and J stood up to confront Baz face to face.

“She didn’t trust you, but she trusted me. And was she wrong? She’s in prison because of you, Baz!” Baz scoffed, then immediately went to hit J. Hawk flew off the sofa, but was quickly wrangled by Pope wrapping his arm around her waist. Her legs were fully off the ground, kicking as he pulled her down onto his lap with a grunt, his other arm caged around hers to keep them down at her sides so she didn’t start swinging.

If Pope let Hawk loose, he knew she’d kill Baz with her bare hands.

“Keep your hands off of him!” Hawk spat at Baz while Deran and Craig got in the middle of J and Baz. “Let go of me!” She shouted back at Pope, but his muscular arms didn’t sway from their purpose.

“Calm down. Now.” He growled in Hawk’s ear. Once Baz was pulled away from J, she settled down in his hold. “Enough!” His voice broke the fight up as everyone caught their breaths. Hawk pushed her way off of Pope and went to check on J as he sat back where he was originally, shouldering Baz on her way over.

“Enough!” Pope repeated as he stood up, eyeing Baz, then landing on Hawk. He walked straight past her and out of the den shaking his head. Hawk touched the top of J’s head before following after Pope.

He stalked through the house and out the front door with Hawk trailing behind him.

“I didn’t ask you to come so you could stir the pot.” Pope fished the keys to his truck out of his pocket, pressing the unlock button as he turned to face Hawk.

“Then why did you ask me to come?” She asked, arms wide.

“Because I knew she’d be here.” Pope’s face held frustration, redness creeping up his neck and over the points of his ears. “Whatever he’s doing, she’s behind it.”

“Well yeah, anyone with two functioning eyeballs can see that much.” Pope just stared at Hawk, his jaw clenching in irritation before he just shook his head and climbed into the truck. Hawk took a deep breath before walking to the passenger side and hoisting herself up.

Hawk awoke the next morning to Pope standing in front of the bedroom slider, naked as the day he was born as he watched the ocean in the early morning hours. He turned to glance over his shoulder when he heard the rustling of the comforter, but turned back when he saw Hawk had no intention of getting out of bed just yet.

“Come back to bed,” She beckoned him, scooting over and lifting the covers so he could slide in front of her. It was an invitation he didn’t think he’d get from her, not after the way he’d acted recently. Still, she was trying. Pope sighed, and his feet were moving before he realized it. He climbed into the bed, rolling over so his back was to Hawk. She wrapped her arm over his torso and his hand grabbed hers. He loved to be held, and she loved to hold him. This was comfort. Their legs tangled together and Hawk laid tender kisses on his neck and shoulder, connecting each freckle together as she went.

“We’re both struggling right now, but we’ll work through it. We always do.” Poe’s eyes clenched shut as Hawk spoke. He bit his lip to stop any sound from coming out as she continued to kiss his bare skin. God, Hawk didn’t know how wrong she was.

The buzzing of Pope’s phone from his bedside table woke the couple up later that morning. They had rotators over to Pope’s side at some point in the morning and Pope was now spooning Hawk. She groaned as he reached over her to pick up the phone, pushing her face into his pillow so she could get a few more minutes of sleep. She could hear the automated call of an inmate that she was all too familiar with and assumed it was Smurf calling.

Hawk felt Pope tense behind her, his words mumbled as he spoke. He ended the call without a goodbye and got out of bed in a hurry.

“What happened?” He went into the closet and threw clothes on. Hawk hopped out of bed, throwing on a t-shirt and a pair of discarded shorts -forgoing a bra or underwear so she didn’t lose track of him as he moved from room to room. “Andy!” All Pope could do was try to get himself out of this house and away from Hawk.

Baz knows, Pope. His entire world was about to crash around him after he heard those three words from Smurf, and he wanted to be as far away from Hawk and this house as he could be so he didn’t leave the mental scars behind that he knew would result in what was about to happen.

“What the hell is going on with you lately?” Pope ignored Hawk’s question, sidestepping her to go back into their bedroom. She followed closely behind him as he went into the closet again, rifling through a duffle bag that he kept on the top shelf in the back of the closet, before he pulled out a pistol. “What the fuck is that and why is it in my house, Andrew?!” Hawk pulled Pope’s shoulder, twisting him around to look at her. His eyes were freaked out, scared, but he kept his mouth clamped shut.

“Don’t do that.” Hawk shook her head. “You promised me you’d talk to me when something happened! What did Smurf say to you?” Pope swallowed, opening and closing his mouth a few times before he got any words out.

“This isn’t something I can talk to you about.” Pope ground out, pushing past Hawk to exit the bedroom. “I need you to trust me on this.”

“All I do is trust you, Andy!” She followed once more, jogging to catch up with him. “If something’s wrong, I need to know!”

“You don’t get it! You will never speak to me again, Hawk. You’ll never look at me again. You’ll never touch me again.” He pushed his feet into his boots, tying the laces quickly, before he grabbed the keys to his truck. He tried to shut the front door between them, but Hawk’s reach was quicker. She ran out of the house barefoot to stop him from leaving.

“Andrew!” He shook his head when Hawk threw herself between him and the door to the truck. “Stop!” She screamed as she put her hands up to his chest, pushing him away from the pickup. His sunglasses were forgotten inside and Hawk saw the absolute anguish and agony that stormed within his eyes as he looked down at her, mouth trembling as he barely held himself together. Her hands cupped his face sternly, not letting him escape without having to physically pry her off.

“I’ve done something.” His chest was heaving and Hawk could see his foundation crumbling before her. “I’ve done something so unforgivable that I don’t even deserve to breathe the same air as you. And now I’m facing the consequences of it -as I should.”

“You’re scaring me.”

“You were always better off without me. Always. I wanted you so bad, Hawk, more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life, but I didn’t want to ruin you. You have to understand that.” His voice was thick with unshed tears and raw emotion that he had been holding back for god knows how long.

“That’s not true. You’re not ruining me-” Hawk reassured him, her voice shaking as she pulled his forehead down to hers. She felt him tremble, losing control of himself in her grasp.

“It is true!” He shouted through clenched teeth. Hawk flinched, but didn’t retreat from him. “Everything I touch turns to poison, Hawk. Everything. You’re not an exception because I was born bad and will always be bad.”

“Stop!” Her eyes looked into his as he tried to pull himself away, but her grasp on him was unrelenting. Her nails left little crescent shapes in his cheek and he only pushed himself further into them because he needed the physical pain to keep him present. “Look at me! You need to tell me what the fuck is happening, Andy. What did you do?” He shook his head, eyes clenched shut.

“I have no right to ask you for anything, Hawk, but if something happens to me-”

“-Andy-”

“-if something happens to me,” He spoke louder, “-will you look after Lena?” His breathing was labored and Hawk feared he was going to pass out if he kept this up.

“Pope-”

“Please!” He shouted again, eyes shifting manically. “Please, I need to hear you say it, Hawk. Will you look after her if something happens to me? We’re all she has…”

“Of-of course I will. You know I will. What is going to happen to you?!” The sound of a vehicle pulling into the driveway broke Pope and Hawk apart. Pope physically shoved her towards the front door, her feet stumbling over each other from the force of it. Hawk looked at Pope like he struck her. Pope never put his hands on her like that and Hawk was almost about to fight back when he turned to her.

“Go inside now!” Pope demanded. “No matter what you hear out here, you don’t open the door, do you understand me?” He was scared, for her or himself she couldn’t tell, but his eyes begged her to not argue and to just listen. “I love you.” His voice cracked. “I’ve always loved you, Hawk. Always.”

“Andy-”

“Get inside. Now.” His voice boomed just as Baz hastily parked his Jeep and jumped out, leaving the door wide open with his sights on Pope, gun pulled out and pointed at him. “Now, Hawk!” Hawk felt like she was going to throw up. Her fight or flight instincts kicked in, but she didn’t know what they were telling her to do. Pope turned his back to Hawk, facing Baz head on.

“Go inside, Hawk!” Baz yelled at her, his dark eyes were clouded with anger and destruction. His gun was at the ready with the intent to kill and Hawk stupidly took slow steps back down the walkway towards Baz and Pope.

“Baz, put it down.” Her voice shook as she held a hand out.

“Did you know?” Baz yelled at her, his eyes narrowed, but never taken off of Pope.

“She doesn’t know.” Pope whispered, shaking his head. “Go inside, Hawk, please.” He begged, looking over his shoulder desperately. Hawk saw the shine of tears that lined his cheek, the red of his bloodshot eye that was visible to her, the way his jaw trembled. “We’ll do this, but not in front of her, Baz. Please.”

“Put the gun down, Baz!” Hawk begged, trying to diffuse the situation.

“He killed Cathy, Hawk.” It felt like the air was knocked out of Hawk. Her jaw fell as she looked between Baz and Pope. Her brain and her heart denied what Baz was saying, but with every second that passed that Pope didn’t deny the accusation, her eyes settled on Pope’s back in horror.

“She didn’t suffer.” Hawk collapsed onto the raised stone barrier that lined her walkway when Pope spoke. She knew Cath was dead, in her heart of hearts she knew she was, but Hawk didn’t think it was because of Pope. She wouldn’t put it past Smurf, but Pope? Her Pope? “We thought she was…talking to the cops.” He explained weakly.

No, no, no, no, Hawk’s ears rang. No, no, no, no-

This man who she knew her whole life, who she let into her home, into her heart and her life -who she would’ve defended to the death in a heartbeat- had betrayed her.

He betrayed Catherine.

He betrayed Baz.

He betrayed Lena.

The pieces of this fucked up puzzle were starting to fall into place as memory after memory punched its way to the forefront of Hawk’s mind. From Pope’s disappearances early on, to pushing her away, to his sudden attachment to Lena. His detachment the last couple of weeks came to mind, and Hawk’s heart shattered as she put the timeline together.

“Pope-” A devastating sound broke free from Hawk, her brain shorting out as it tried to process what was happening. Pope’s chin was tucked into his chest, his eyes clenched shut.

“Cathy didn’t deserve any of this. I cared about her. You knew that and you still took her from me.” Hawk’s heart clenched as she listened even though her mind was telling her, screaming at her to go inside. She had no idea that Pope and Cath were involved in any capacity, but there were long spans of time where she wasn’t present in any of their lives. This happened to be one of them. “You took Cath to punish Smurf because Smurf didn’t want you to have Lucy, but you punished me too! You would’ve taken Hawk if she gave you the time of day because that’s what you do. You never thought about me!” Pope shouted, voice raw. “Not one of you ever thought about me!” Pope turned, pointing to Hawk, “Except for her.” Hawk’s head shook in disbelief, tears cascading down her cheeks.

“Smurf said she was talking to the cops,” Pope sobbed, turning back to Baz. Any fight he had left in him vacated his body in that moment. His confession had taken the weight of the universe off of his shoulders and for the first time in a very long time, he was ready to pay for what he did. “-but she wasn’t. Smurf said she was, but Cath didn’t say anything to them!”

Hawk’s encounter with the cops who came by her shop rammed into the front of her mind like a head on collision. Had Smurf caught wind of that, would she be in the same boat as Cath? Hawk brought a trembling hand over her mouth.

For the first time since Hawk met Pope, she felt fear when she looked at him -at what he was capable of. If Smurf told him back then to get rid of her because she was a danger to them, would he? Hawk didn’t think he’d do it now -not after everything they’ve been through, but back then…her stomach clenched and bile climbed up her throat.

“So do it.” Pope begged Baz. “I want you to do it. Please.” He had given up entirely, the immense amount of guilt he harbored had eaten away at the structure that held him together as a person and he was just done. “Please. I’ve lost everything already.” He whispered. Hawk couldn’t take it anymore. She lifted herself up and stumbled her way to the front door in a daze, chest heaving as she tried to breathe through the agony that wrenched itself around her chest and squeezed. She didn’t make a sound as she shut the door behind her, twisting the deadbolt behind her and sliding down the door on the inside, sobbing for Cath with everything she had.

I'm starting a Baz is a Bastard club if anyone wants to join.

#pope cody #pope cody fic #andrew pope cody #Andrew Pope Cody fic #animal kingdom #animal kingdom fanfiction #animal kingdom fanfic #animal kingdom tnt #animal kingdom imagine #shawn hatosy #well enough alone universe #angst

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solxamber · 9 months ago

Note

Can't wait to request Skully boy, but let's do a part 3 of White Rabbit!Reader since the overblot aftermath is usually somewhat of a positive effect on the overblot person, I want it to do the opposite to White Rabbit!Reader since before their overblot, they were always jumpy, timid and anxious.

Now, I kind of want them to be like this half the time whenever someone bothers them:

Aftermath of White Rabbit! Reader's Overblot

Characters: All NRC + Staff + Rollo, Neige, Che'nya

Original White rabbit! reader ask ; White rabbit! reader overblot ask

thanks for the request <3

Riddle Rosehearts

Riddle is probably the first to notice the difference. While he usually relied on your obedience to the Queen's rules, your newfound bluntness shocks him. He asks you to organize paperwork, expecting the usual nervous compliance, but instead, you sigh and mutter, “Yeah, yeah, I’m getting to it, don’t have a heart attack.” Riddle is speechless for a moment, his face flushing. Though he won’t admit it, he’s at a loss. “What… happened to you?”

Trey Clover

Trey has always been the calm, stable figure in your life, a grounding presence in Heartslabyul. But even he’s taken aback by your sudden shift. “You’re not the same nervous bunny I’m used to,” he remarks when you snap at someone who’d pushed you too far. You sigh, rubbing your temples. “Guess I finally had enough.” Trey offers a small, understanding smile, knowing all too well the pressures of keeping up appearances. “If you need to blow off steam, my kitchen’s always open. Just don’t burn out.”

Cater Diamond

Cater, who usually plays things off with a lighthearted comment or a perfectly timed selfie, can sense the change in your mood. "Whoa, who flipped the switch on you, bunny?" he jokes, holding up his phone for another pic. You barely glance his way, grumbling, "Put that away before I snap." Cater's smile falters briefly, unused to you being so short with him. "Yikes. Someone's in need of a chill day. Maybe a group selfie will help?" He backs off but keeps an eye on you, curious how long this new attitude will last.

Ace Trappola

Ace is taken aback but more intrigued than anything. He used to enjoy teasing you for fun, always expecting a shy or flustered response. Now, you roll your eyes and say, “Do you ever stop running your mouth?” Ace laughs nervously but is secretly impressed by your sass. “Hey, I liked you better when you were jumpy. You were easier to mess with.”

Deuce Spade

Deuce feels bad. He didn’t realize how much the teasing had affected you until now. He approaches cautiously, noticing your new, weary demeanor. When he tries to help, offering to carry something, you grumble, “I’ve got it, I’m not helpless.” Deuce scratches his head, feeling guilty. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just… I’m sorry if we pushed you too hard.”

Leona Kingscholar

Leona finds your transformation amusing at first. As one of the few prey beastmen in the school, he always enjoyed calling you "herbivore." But now, when you meet his taunts with a dry “Yeah, real original, Leona,” he raises an eyebrow, both impressed and a little curious. “Finally got some backbone, huh? Good. Don’t expect me to go easy on you just ‘cause you stopped cowering.”

Ruggie Bucchi

Ruggie is caught off guard by how done you seem with everything. He tries to pass off some chores, as usual, but you just give him a deadpan look. “Do I look like your personal assistant?” Ruggie chuckles nervously. “Whoa, you’ve changed. Guess I’ll just… do it myself, then. Heh.”

Jack Howl

Jack, being the most straightforward, notices something is wrong immediately. He never liked the way people teased you, and now your exhaustion worries him. “You don’t look so good. Is there something I can help with?” When you respond with a tired “Just let me get through the day, Jack,” he frowns, unsure how to handle this new side of you.

Azul Ashengrotto

Azul appreciates how compliant you were before, especially when he needed help with contracts or deals. Now, your indifference makes his eye twitch. “Care to assist with a little… business?” he asks. “Do it yourself, Ashengrotto,” you reply without even looking up. Azul’s smile falters. “How… unfortunate.”

Jade Leech

Jade enjoys your shift in attitude. To him, it’s fascinating to see prey become more assertive. “My, my, you’ve grown quite bold, haven’t you?” he muses. You don’t even glance his way, muttering, “Bold? I’m just tired.” Jade chuckles, intrigued. “I do hope that exhaustion won’t stop you from keeping things interesting.”

Floyd Leech

Floyd used to love squishing you just to see you jump. Now, when he wraps an arm around your shoulders and you groan, “Not now, Floyd,” he pouts. “You’re no fun anymore, Little Rabbit. Bring back the scaredy-cat!” He sulks but also seems weirdly fascinated by your new attitude, poking you to see if he can get a reaction.

Kalim Al-Asim

Kalim’s sunny disposition remains unchanged, but even he notices that something’s off. He invites you to join a party, only for you to respond, “I’m not in the mood.” Kalim blinks, genuinely concerned. “Hey, is everything okay? You always used to come… I didn’t mean to bother you.”

Jamil Viper

Jamil is more analytical about your change. He senses something deeper at play and approaches cautiously. “You’re different now,” he observes. “No kidding,” you mutter, pushing past him. Jamil hums thoughtfully, wondering if there’s something he can learn from your overblot experience—or if it’s just another thing he needs to keep an eye on.

Vil Schoenheit

Vil is used to elegance, control, and composure, so your new bluntness strikes him as unbecoming. “You’re really letting yourself go,” he comments sharply. You simply stare at him, unbothered, and say, “And you care because?” Vil frowns, his perfectly crafted facade slipping for a second. “Honestly, how disappointing.”

Rook Hunt

Rook finds the change in you utterly fascinating. “Ah, the hunted has become a hunter in their own right! Magnifique!” You stare at him with exhausted eyes, muttering, “I’m just trying to get through the day, Rook.” He laughs, completely unfazed by your exhaustion. “Every day with you is an adventure, mon lapin!”

Epel Felmier

Epel, who never liked being underestimated, gets where you’re coming from. He nudges you with a grin. “Bet you’re sick of everyone treating you like you’re fragile, huh?” You shrug tiredly, “Sick of a lot of things.” Epel chuckles. “Yeah, I get that. Don’t let ‘em push you around anymore.”

Idia Shroud

Idia is a little freaked out by your change. You used to be predictable, easy to understand—now? Not so much. He glances at you from behind his tablet and mumbles, “Uh… you okay? You seem… different.” When you snap back, “What do you think?” Idia recoils, instantly regretting his question. “Yikes… never mind…”

Ortho Shroud

Ortho, ever the optimist, immediately notices your shift in behavior and tries to cheer you up in his own enthusiastic way. “I can analyze your stress levels! Maybe we can find a way to relax together!” he offers, his eyes lighting up with data scans. You give him a tired look and sigh, “Thanks, but I just want to be left alone.” Ortho frowns, his usual cheerful energy dimming. “Okay… but remember, I’m always here if you need help!” He can’t quite figure out how to help you, but he makes a mental note to keep monitoring your well-being.

Malleus Draconia

Malleus can feel the weight of your exhaustion and frustration. He’s perceptive and doesn’t need to hear you say much to understand how deeply the overblot has affected you. “You carry a heavy burden now,” he says quietly. You sigh, running a hand through your hair. “Yeah, well, it’s not like I have a choice.” Malleus watches you with a somber gaze. “You do. You always have a choice.”

Lilia Vanrouge

Lilia is concerned but also intrigued by your sudden shift. “My, you’ve grown up in such a short time,” he teases, though his tone carries a hint of seriousness. “Not sure if that’s a good thing,” you mutter. Lilia’s eyes narrow. “Be careful not to lose yourself, young one. This world can be… unforgiving.”

Silver

Silver, ever the calm and observant knight, is probably the least surprised by your change in demeanor. He approaches cautiously, noticing your exhaustion even before you speak. “You’ve been through a lot. Don’t push yourself too hard,” he advises softly. When you sigh and mutter, “I’m just tired, Silver,” he nods, understanding in his quiet way. “If you ever need to rest, I’ll stand guard for you.” He’s not one to pry but offers his silent support.

Sebek Zigvolt

Sebek is offended by your change in attitude, especially since you no longer respond as deferentially as you used to. “What happened to your respect for authority?” he barks. You shoot him an irritated glare. “Respect is earned, not given.” Sebek’s jaw drops, his mind struggling to compute your audacity.

Rollo Flamme

Rollo has always had a certain disdain for the chaotic nature of magic, and as someone who seemed so harmless before, you were never a particular blip on his radar.

But after your overblot, when you return to a more cynical, jaded version of yourself, Rollo is... intrigued. “I see you’ve shed your naïveté,” he comments one day when you cross paths, eyeing your newfound sharpness.

You sigh and rub your temples, muttering, “I’m too tired for whatever lecture you’re about to give me, Rollo.” He raises an eyebrow, slightly amused. “Perhaps you’ve come to realize that order, after all, must be maintained by force. Even for someone like you.” His words are clipped, but there’s almost a sense of kinship as he recognizes the exhaustion that comes from living within strict expectations.

Neige LeBlanche

Neige is disheartened by your exhaustion. He approaches you with genuine concern, his wide, innocent eyes full of sympathy. “I’m sorry if anyone’s been making things harder for you,” he says softly. “You don’t deserve that.” You give him a tired smile, “It’s fine. People just… don’t know when to stop.” Neige nods. “If you ever need to talk, I’m here.”

Che’nya

Che’nya finds your new personality endlessly amusing. “My, my! You’ve finally joined the cynical side of Wonderland!” he teases, popping in and out of view. You roll your eyes, unimpressed. “I’m too tired for your games, Che’nya.” He grins, floating above you. “That’s what makes it so fun, friend.”

Crowley

Crowley had always seen you as one of the more manageable students—timid, hardworking, and, most importantly, someone who didn’t cause him headaches. But after your overblot? Let’s just say he’s... mildly concerned. “My dear White Rabbit, surely you don’t mean to talk to your esteemed headmaster in such a disrespectful tone!” he blusters, feathers metaphorically ruffled when you brush past one of his long-winded speeches with an eye roll and, “Please, for the love of Seven, just get to the point.” Crowley is left gaping, unsure whether he should reprimand you or seek out some sympathy for your newly discovered spine.

Divus Crewel

Crewel is quick to notice your shift in attitude and respects your newfound bluntness—though only to a point. “You’ve finally found some grit,” he comments, his voice sharp as usual. “Good. Just don’t let it cloud your judgment.” You nod wearily, “I’m way past judgment.”

Mozus Trein

Trein raises an eyebrow at your attitude shift but doesn’t comment much. He simply sighs, “I hope you’re not letting stress affect your studies.” You shrug. “Stress is part of the deal, Professor.”

Sam

Sam’s sharp eye notices the change immediately when you stroll into his shop, a bit of a scowl replacing your usual fidgety demeanor. “Well, well, if it isn’t my favorite bunny. What’s got you hoppin’ mad today?” he teases lightly, hoping to bring a smile to your face.

But when you shoot him a tired look and say, “Sam, please, just give me the potion before I scream,” he lets out a low whistle. “Whoa now, partner! You’re wound up tighter than a jack-in-the-box! If anyone knows about stress, it’s me—how ‘bout I toss in some tea on the house?” He’s concerned, but he can’t resist a little ribbing, hoping to ease your frustration.

Masterlist

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junosmindpalace · 1 year ago

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can you make a scenario where saiki accidentally makes his s/o cry so now he literally panicking trying to calm her down? and then out of guilt for the next few weeks he doing all these sweet things for her?

lots of fluff please!

hi there! thank you for your request!

Last week, Saiki was caught up in an incident.

There was just a lot going through his mind, alright? His parents were on his case about errands--particularly his father, exhausting his powers for his own needs--and his friends kept finding ways to drag him along in their endeavors, and he was worn out; both physically and mentally.

The second he thinks he gets a mental break to himself to recover, you come along and try to make conversation with that irritatingly cheerful voice he’s been having to listen to as people tear him from limb to limb trying to get him to do this and that for them.

So he accidentally comes off a little harsh when he tells you with a murderous glare to just leave him alone.

And you know Saiki, and Saiki knows you. You know the stress he’s often under, and he knows you just want to spend some time with him. Neither of you have a problem with either of these things usually, but today, it was just a jumble of emotions and some miscommunication that made it all fall apart.

You try to understand, and you do! But even still, you couldn’t help feeling bad for upsetting him, and are unable to prevent the stray tears that pricked at your eyes from rolling down your cheeks. You immediately wipe them away with the palm of your hand and give him an apologetic smile, but Saiki immediately panics.

He panics a little simply recalling the incident, even a week later when you’ve practically forgotten all about your crying and getting your feelings hurt. Still, Saiki feels bad, and ever since the incident occurred, he’s been trying to dull the guilt and sense of obligation to compensate for his actions in his heart.

But though it doesn't seem like he's doing anything unique to an outsider who may not know him very well, you can tell the small shift in his attitude toward you in the weeks following the incident.

Seeing you splayed out in distress over a desk is a sight Saiki has become accustomed to with all the time you spend studying together. Typically, a couple of "motivating" words from him telling you to just pull yourself together and break down the material is enough to get you to begrudgingly pull yourself up and work. As of late, however, he'll tells you to stop moaning about your work when it gets too difficult to understand or you’re too tired to comprehend any of the material, and to just copy off him. He words it in a way that makes it seem that it's to his benefit, but usually Saiki wasn’t the type to lend you his work, believing that you should put in effort yourself, even when you’re whining about it.

He sacrifices life and limb to help you with your daily tasks. Mundane things he knows you can handle yourself, but now his absolute first instinct is to immediately look for ways he can help you, even if he rolls his eyes and reprimands you at first. Lost something of yours? He’s using clairvoyance to track it down. Forgot something at a certain place when you go out? He’s fighting off traffic, interrogations from his friends, and all the other absurd obstacles he often finds interfering in his everyday life just so he can bring it back to you without raising suspicions of his powers.

And if all those things weren’t obvious enough he’s been trying to atone, he buys you sweets. All of your favorites over the past couple of weeks, paid in full by him whenever the two of you order or stop by a bakery or restaurant. Maybe one found on your desk throughout the school day. He even shares with you his own if you ask or eye them longingly.

All of these seemingly menial acts leave you a little suspicious, especially since it had been days since the event happened, and it hadn't taken much time for you to come around from the incident and continue being yourself. You expected that his offer to listen to your rant would be the extent of his atonement. Could he really still be stuck on it?

Your speculation is pretty much confirmed that these things were all attempts at making up for his poor behavior when he finds him yet again in a similar situation, exhausted and frustrated thanks to all the nuisances in his life. And then you come skipping along happily, greeting him with news of your day. His brows furrow, his eye twitches, and he’s about to open his mouth. And then he meets your gaze and he pauses. Takes a second. Remembers what happened last time, can see a flash of that pained face you made.

You give him a look of confusion as you observe his expression. At that point, he can only sigh and slump back.

"Saiki?”

"Let’s just go home and talk.”

You might catch onto his drained attitude, and offer to take him to one of his favorite dessert places as a treat to refresh and an apology for not recognizing his burden sooner. He’s immediately brightened by this, of course, and you end off with a win-win situation, with Saiki being able to wind down with some treats, and you being able to spill about your day sitting across from him.

#havent written saiki in a bit #been wanting to get back in the habit of posting a piece once a week #so here we go!#kusuo saiki x reader #kusuo saiki fluff #kusuo saiki oneshot #saiki kusuo x reader #saiki kusuo fluff #saiki kusuo oneshot #the disastrous life of saiki k oneshot #the disastrous life of saiki k x reader #the disastrous life of saiki k fluff #tdlosk x reader #tdlosk fluff #tdlosk oneshot #saiki x reader #saiki fluff

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knnichs · 1 year ago

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if you could be mine, if we could be us

— wherein he realizes that he's fallen in love with you.

c. akira, akechi, ryuji, yusuke

t. fluff, gn!reader, reader is a member of the phantom thieves and is a persona user, joker & akira have incredibly opposite personalities (tad bit exaggerated), kamoshida & madarame mention (sorry), yusuke forgives madarame, minor spoilers for akechi & yusuke, no/very little dialogue, wc: 1.5k

The mementos may not be the best time to think about it, but Akira can’t help but blush. He finally noticed that he has feelings for his best friend.

After hearing the rest of the group tease him about having a soft spot for you—you would expect the leader of the Phantom Thieves to be a little smart, but he’s surprisingly unfazed that they realized it before he did.

Recently, you saw how Joker had been more of a show-off during battle. With flashy moves and unnecessary very cliche lines when interrogating a shadow, (which you are very sure he practiced in front of the bathroom mirror in Leblanc) all while having the energy to have a signature finishing move when defeating an opponent. He becomes more chatty, more confident—more cocky. You love seeing Joker enjoying his time, but in all honesty it’s a bit unsettling. The usually quiet-but-snarky leader is suddenly talkative. What happened?

As a joke, you confronted him about it in a teasing manner. “Joker, somethin’ good happen?” You would say. All you will get is a smile as he waves off the question, “Nothing specific happened.”

Unfortunately, as soon as you return to reality, he will continue back to his usual self. It’s as if a shift happened to his entire personality as soon as he had the mask on. The truth is, being in the metaverse does somewhat help with how he is feeling. It gives him the confidence boost he needs to be just the tiniest bit more like a guy you could only read in books. He still acts like a proper gentleman, even in reality, but his metaverse self—Joker, is exactly the kind of person who would unironically steal your heart. Being on television and having fangirls of his own, you would at least expect him to take advantage of his charm just to impress you, no?

Akechi isn’t surprised. Not the slightest bit.

You were always willing to help him with academics—despite him already being smart to handle his studies and detective work. You say it’s so that he doesn’t go home so tired all the time. Each time he smiles and refuses your offer, saying he’s able to perfectly balance his work life with his school curriculars. Though this does lead to him being over exhausted one too many times.

You end up visiting Akechi in his apartment when you find the time, inviting him to a night out to destress. There is a slim chance you will find him in a vulnerable state; Drowsy and tired, heavy eyebags from another night of staying up. Maybe he hasn’t slept at all and has to decline your offer to take time to rest. Sometimes he is in a good mood, having free time after accomplishing another case and telling you about it as he invites you to his room. Other times he is incredibly busy, schedule packed with deadlines racking up. He’s exhausted and doesn’t have enough social battery to hang out with someone for the whole day, and you completely understand that. Being a student, a detective, and a celebrity all at once is overwhelming.

You do your best to show that you care about him with those little gestures. Copying notes he might’ve missed, saving presentations, and making reviewers for him to easily study when finals are near. He’s incredibly thankful for that, and in turn, he shows that he notices those gestures of yours by doing the same thing to you. He’s never had anyone that cared about him this much, and that alone is enough reason for him to slowly fall in love with you. Akechi would pick up little details and your small quirks and keep them in mind—your go-to drink, favorite restaurant, how you act when you’re especially stressed, he takes lots of mental notes on your behavior so he is well prepared to handle your little emotional outbursts.

He finds it easy to charm people with his looks and very outgoing personality, he has used this to try and woo you to like him—maybe your actions towards him had some sort of meaning and that you liked him. Unfortunately, it completely backfired. He ended up catching feelings for you in the process as soon as he saw you as someone who liked him for who he was. For some odd reason, this detective is not exactly good with love.

Ryuji gets nervous around you. Sweaty palms and stuttering sentences—you have this effect on him and he can’t break out of it.

You outshone the sun with your presence alone. He is very much so affected by it, Ryuji has never noticed this before with anyone else he’s been with. You were kind, compassionate, you loved helping people around you. Seeing how you were as eager to take Kamoshida down with him—with the rest of the Thieves—made him think that the two of you were on the same page when it came to thinking.

Ryuji is… Not the best person to rely on for academics, but he surely makes up for it with other things. With his (pretty much) outgoing personality, he does find it easier to invite you out to little “friendly” dates, he’d say. Having Ryuji as your food buddy is a good experience, and having him as a friend is an even better one. When you’re in an especially rough slump, he’s willing to be there by your side as a personal hype man. He would say he delivers the best pep talks and speeches, putting corny jokes into them to lighten the mood, and it’s safe to say that you laugh easier with him too.

He’s good at cheering you up, he doesn’t like seeing you in a tough spot. He loves your company too—so to see or even hear that anything bad happened to you is a no-go for him. It takes a while for it to register that he started having feelings for you, he’s pretty oblivious, even to himself. So you may need to initiate the first move at times. Once it’s hit him, he’ll be a little bit more extra clingy, but a little distant at the same time. He’s a bit overwhelmed with the butterflies you give him, but give it time and he’ll do his best to make a move on you too.

Yusuke wonders if you’re sick of him yet.

He’s constantly asking you to model for his paintings, constantly bugging you to go with him to visit parks and shrines. Museum trips are definitely a must when you meet with him, and you most likely have to pay for the entrance fee as well. And the food, and the little souvenirs they have. (Well, the souvenirs were your choice. You thought he would appreciate the gift.) With him being short on money because of his passion, he understands if you ever stop wanting to respond to his messages. Surprisingly, you do not. You plan some of those hangouts yourself—and Yusuke is, well… Touched, you could say.

He shows his appreciation by being a little more open with you, trusting you with more of his feelings; ranting to you about certain missions you did in the mementos or how Joker is a bad driver, maybe how his art block is eating him alive and it's frustrating how he can’t find the proper inspiration. One topic about Madarame, how he still found the will to forgive him even after all he did to him and his mother. You listened, of course, and you’re glad he openly trusts you with these kinds of things.

Another way he shows that he is appreciative of what you do is with gifts. Traditional boxes of chocolates or handmade letters (made to look like calling cards) for holiday greetings, portraits of you, sketches of you, doodles of you… Suddenly everything about his life has been about you. He doesn’t dare show his sketchbook to everyone, god forbid. But you do notice him excessively asking you to pose in front of a gorgeous scenery in the park as he scribbles on a notepad. Weeks later, you never really see him make a painting of it despite saying so. He says it’s only to gain motivation, or to get himself warmed up to draw again—but truth be told; You just looked as gorgeous as the flowers that bloom in the bushes behind you, the clear, blue lake, and the sunny weather itself. Everything started to remind him of you, and he can’t help but pull up his contacts on his phone and call you again to have an “inspiration” walk.

this was absolutely adorable to write. can you tell who my favorite character is sob... anyway! this is my official debut to being a persona author too,, erm requests are open heart for persona 5! maybe not 3 yet. because i am in the very early stages.. ignore how i tagged this like an ao3 fi

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manias-wordcount · 2 months ago

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Hi, can you do something for jinwoo sung x Reader with a lot of fluff, please (thank you).

Arise and Respite (Jinwoo Sung x Reader)

𝗔/𝗡: 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗴𝗼! 𝗶 𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗲𝗻𝗷𝗼𝘆 𝗵𝗲𝗵𝗲𝗵

𝙒𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚? ⇒ 𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

𝙟𝙤𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘��𝙧𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚𝙧?

𝙗𝙪𝙮 𝙢𝙚 𝙖 𝙘𝙤𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙚?

You think it might have been due to the creaking of the bedroom door.

Jinwoo’s apartment is old. He says his family has been here since forever and the neighborhood is safe and private enough that he’s okay with staying here while he’s still relatively unknown. Besides, it’s spacious, the landlord is understanding and it’s close to Jinah’s school. The apartment practically feels like family. Though you all could do without some of the other signs showing the apartment’s age.

The appliances that feel like they’re always just a couple of uses away from breaking down. The cabinets don’t swing open and close as well as they used to. The old, old stains that just won’t go away no matter how hard you try to scrub them out. And all the little cracks in the walls and the gaps in the windows that let out little peaks of cold wind on the nights you just want nothing more than to lay wrapped up in his blankets and bury yourself in his bed. The apartment practically feels like family, sure. There’s no denying that. But it’s due for an upgrade. The whole family is due for an upgrade. Some place that requires a little less maintenance, you would hope.

But that’s not the point.

The point is that you think it might have been due to the creaking of the bedroom door. It happens whenever you go too close. It just hits a point- a certain angle and suddenly it’s ‘creeaaak!’ before you even know what happened to you. You don’t know just when it started, but you know that you and Jinwoo tried to take it on as a project a couple months ago and only managed to make it worse somehow. Now, it’s louder than it was before. Now, it lasts a little bit longer than it did before. Now, it’s a little bit harder to ignore than before. Even when you sleeping.

Admittedly, it’s not horrible. As bad as it is now, you know it could absolutely be worse. Besides, if you’re careful and paying attention whenever you go to close the door, there’s a neat little trick you can do to make the sound go away almost completely! You discovered it by accident but ended up practicing it enough times that it feels like second nature for you to do. But it’s not second nature for Jinwoo.

That’s why it always wakes you up. That’s why it just woke you up. And you couldn’t have been more glad. Because it means you can stop worrying now. It means you can stop spending your waking hours tossing and turning because it’s been hours since you’ve last heard from him. It means you can finally release the breath you’ve been holding as you wait for news- any news of his whereabouts. It means that things are okay.

“Shit…”

Because he’s finally home.

At his soft curse, you find yourself just barely holding in the soft giggle that slips between your sleepy lips. Your mind still feels a little fuzzy at the moment. And your eyelids have yet to stop feeling heavy. But you still find the strength to turn over on your side and look over at the doorway.

And sure enough, he’s there.

The room is dark, and you barely make out the details of him that you’ve come to know so well. But even with all the shadows covering the room, you can still see that his hair is a mess and his clothes are all askew. You can see little bits of bumps and bruises. You swore you could even see some dried-up blood too. But he’s smiling. He’s smiling at you. So it’s all going to be okay. You’re going to be okay. He’s going to be okay.

And it’s a tired-looking smile. An exhausted-looking smile. That type that tells you that he could drop any minute now. But it’s for you. It’s all for you. So, of course, you had to sit up and return the smile to him. He works so hard to keep everyone safe, after all. It’s the very least you could do for him.

“Jinwoo!” You whisper a cheer to him as he finishes shutting the door behind him. The second he does, he wastes no time making his way over to his bed where you’ve made yourself comfortable, and opens his arms. The second he’s close enough, you throw your own arms around his shoulders as he takes you into his embrace. The covers have fallen off of your shoulders. You’re no longer wrapped in warmth and a scent that’s fading from the fabric. Now, you’re wrapped up in the real thing as Jinwoo sits on the edge of the bed and holds you tightly to his chest. The real, real, thing. “You’re back…”

And you trail off, you go to squeeze Jinwoo a little hard, sensing that it’s something he really needs at the moment. He responds in kind by breathing in a deep, full-bodied sigh, as takes one of his hands and guides your head into his neck. You can’t even imagine what kept him away for so long this time. You know his time as a Hunter has always been more than unpleasant. You’ve been together since a little after he awoke as an E-rank. But it seems like ever since he has reawoken, everything has gotten harder and more dangerous and more scary. Even with the immense amount of new power you know he has.

But you know better than to ask about what happened in whatever dungeon he just came out of. Especially not right now. He wouldn’t be holding you like this if it was an easy story to tell. So you just do what you do best in times like this. You cuddle further up in his arms and somehow find a way to get impossibly closer to him as you pepper the skin of his neck in tiny little kisses, earning you a soft laugh from your boyfriend.

Everything is going to be okay. Everything is okay.

“I’m sorry sweetheart,” He murmurs his apology right next to your ear, keeping his voice nice and slow to accommodate for your sleepy mood. He takes a hand and slips it under your night shirt (which is really one of his old, pre-awakening shirts that he can no longer fit now that he has the body of a god) to trace small patterns against your skin, just above your hip. You shiver and let out a small squeal at the coldness of his hands. But you do ultimately let him continue the second you hear him chuckling at you and your reaction. You’re sure he deserves a good laugh at the moment. And besides… you really don’t want to try to leave his arms right now. You’ve missed him far too much to even properly entertain the thought of him leaving your grip. Not even for a moment. “I woke you up again, didn’t I?”

He did, but in your mind, it’s more than fine. He’s here now and that’s all that matters.

“S’okay,” You tell him with a light hum, nuzzling into his shoulder. You weren’t asleep for long. You don’t remember when you fell asleep. You don’t even remember falling asleep. But the fact that you woke up this time with him immediately bringing you into his arms? That’s something definitely worth waking up to. But you rather avoid feeding his ego at the moment- you’re not exactly in the right state to deal with a smug Jinwoo. Too sleepy for that! So you change the topic to something a little bit more important- recovery. Or rather, dinner. Something you know he didn’t end up having tonight. Something you know both you and him would probably forget about unless you brought it up now. "Jinah and I made dinner. It’s in the fridge.”

At the mention of his sister, Jinwoo nods his head and presses a kiss to the side of your jaw, tickling your skin. He lets out a pleased noise the moment he hears you let out another giggle, and gives the side of your hip an appreciative squeeze with hands that are still a little too cold for your taste.

“Thanks for staying with her tonight.” He tells you with yet another kiss to the side of your jaw, sidestepping the topic of dinner easily without you even noticing. You’re far too busy waving off his words of praise to even fight him on that. You’ve been staying the night at his place for every raid he thinks might drag long for years now. It was only natural that you’d come over tonight too. Someone had to look out for her, and Jinah made for good company. So you don’t need him to thank you for something you always do- something you always look forward to doing. In fact, what you really want is for him to let go of you long enough for you to lift up the covers and help him crawl into bed with you.“How about you go back to sleep? I’ll be there in a moment.”

Which sounds like the exact opposite of what he’s planning to do right now.

You let out a soft whine at his request and wrap your arms around him even tighter than before, not liking the sound of him disappearing once more. Once again, you’re met with the sound of his laughter as he tries to explain to you that he has to leave to take a shower. He’s covered in dirt and sweat and blood and who knows what else, and he really doesn’t want that to bring that to the bed. Especially not with you looking so sweet and comfortable all wrapped up in his sheets.

However, that’s not what you want to hear. You want your boyfriend- the one who had to leave you for far too long and far too often. You want his warmth. You want his arms wrapped around you. You want to feel his heartbeat against your chest and breathe in his scent with every inhale. You want your boyfriend and you want him now. So you just stubbornly shake your head at his words and try to pull him down into bed with you. It’s the price he should pay for leaving you behind extra long (a couple of hours more than he originally promised you) and for waking you up.

But he’s stronger than you, so he resists your tugging and manages to stay upright- even as you put all your weight behind every pull. Admittedly, it’s a little frustrating. Because he’s smiling softly at you the entire time- speaking in a voice so low and comforting that you almost don’t hear his half-hearted protests and warnings about how you’re going to tire yourself out. Almost.

And so, when you find your grip around his shoulders growing more and more lax by the moment, you realize that the little warning of his is all that’s echoing in your mind. And suddenly you do realize with a yawn that yeah, you are a little more tired now. You might have just worn yourself. But just because you’ve laid back down doesn’t mean he’s free to leave. To that, Jinwoo just continues to nod his head and agree with your every word. Promising that he’ll be right there in bed with you- just as soon as you close your eyes. So you do.

And somehow, it doesn’t once occur you to how he might be tricking you right now. In fact, the thought that doesn’t even pass your mind at all. Not until later, of course.

Later, when you wake up sometime later to the sound of the door closing. Later, when you stir and mumble something you don’t even understand as the covers lift just enough to let a cleaner, fresher smelling Jinwoo slip into the space on the bed just behind you. Later, when you find yourself sinking back into a deep, deep sleep now that there’s a pair of arms wrapping around you and holding you tight. Keeping you safe. Keeping you warm.

Only then do you realize that maybe…maybe he did trick you. But by then, it doesn’t matter to you. By then, it’s okay. It’s just fine. Because he’s here. Because he’s right here. And for you?

That’s more than enough.

#jinwoo sung x reader #jinwoo sung #sung jinwoo #sung jinwoo x reader #solo leveling #solo leveling x reader #solo leveling fanfic #solo leveling fanfiction #x reader #xeader #fanfic #fanfiction

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mysteryshoptls · 22 days ago

Text

SSR Deuce Spade - Room Relaxation Vignette

"Happy Birthday"

[Exterior Hallway]

Deuce: Whew… Today was another exhausting day.

Deuce: I couldn't even understand any of the questions they said was super basic… I don't even know if I'll be able to finish up all the homework we got by tonight...

Rook: Oh, my, is that you, Deuce-kun? What has you looking so forlorn?

Deuce: Hunt-senpai! Good afternoon! Umm… I was just coming back from my supplementary Enigmics class.

Deuce: I'm still not really understanding anything even after Crewel-sensei took the time to help me try and figure it out… Urgh, I'm just so lousy.

Rook: Oh là là! That is indeed a predicament. That must be why you seem so unusually tired.

Deuce: Yes... He told me to at least memorize the formula for magical power by tomorrow, so I need to have something to show for it…

Rook: I see… However, they say that joyfulness follows every hardship. I do hope you'll be able to enjoy your birthday tomorrow.

Deuce: Huh, you know my birthday?

Rook: Of course! Make sure to fully enjoy yourself at the party you're throwing in Heartslabyul and mingle with your friends to your heart's content.

Deuce: Thank you very much! No matter what, I need to avoid staying after for supplemental lessons tomorrow.

Deuce: I'm feeling more motivated thanks to your words, Hunt-senpai! I'll definitely focus on my studies tonight!

Rook: Heh, now that is a much better look for you to carry. I'll be cheering you on, Monsieur Spade.

Deuce: Yes, sir! I'll take my leave now, Hunt-senpai!

[Heartslabyul Dorm – Lounge]

Deuce: Alright, we're done taking care of the hedgehogs. Glad I was still able to make it in time to do my assigned duty…

[Heartslabyul student speaks]

Deuce: Eh, what was I doing…? I had to stay after for a supplemental Enigmics lesson.

[Heartslabyul student speaks]

Deuce: You can't think of anything that was confusing? Come on, we're both in the same class. I'm talking about the problem I got hit with today…

Deuce: Eh, you're saying that formula is something that's even taught during middle school? Y-You're joking…!

Deuce: Man… Becoming an honor student is a long and winding road. But I got no time to cry about it.

Deuce: I gotta finish up everything I gotta do and head back to my room. Bye!

[Heartslabyul Dorm – Deuce's Room]

Deuce: Now that I'm outta the shower, it's time to study. I'll pull out the papers that Crewel-sensei prepared for me.

Deuce: Rosehearts-ryōchō said it helps with memorization to vocalize things. I'll try that now!

[Heartslabyul Dorm – Deuce's Room]

Deuce: P = T × S² × X… P = T × S² × X…

[Roommate A speaks]

Deuce: Hm? What am I mumbling about…? Oh, I'm not talking to myself. I'm trying to memorize a formula for Enigmics class.

[Roommate B speaks]

Deuce: So, don't bother me… Huh? What do I want to eat at tomorrow's party? Oh, hmm…

Deuce: …Oh, yeah, I know what I want! A melty omelet, and a fluffy egg cake!

Deuce: Maan, now that I'm thinking about it, I'm starting to feel a bit hungry. I should head to the lounge to find something to eat…

Deuce: Wait… Now's not the time to do that. I need to memorize this formula. I'll write it out again…

[Roommate A speaks]

Deuce: Huh, you're giving this to me!? Thanks. I really was craving these cookies just now.

[Deuce starts eating]

Deuce: Ack, shoot! I stopped writing again. I gotta focus, focus…

[Roommate B speaks]

Deuce: Hm? You're gonna let me be the first to read the comic we've been taking turns reading every week?

[Roommate B speaks]

Deuce: Oh, wow, because it's my birthday tomorrow? Thanks! I was really excited for the next part.

Deuce: Ack, wait, now's not the time for that, I told you already! Augh, I can't remember the formula at all…

Deuce: Hm? What are you guys laughing about? Ah…! Wait, were you doing all that on purpose!?

Deuce: Don't bother me! I absolutely, definitely have to memorize this formula by tomorrow!

Deuce: If you guys keep this up…

「Survey on Quality of Life Improvements for the Student Body」

Deuce: I'm gonna write "There should be even more opportunities for supplemental classes."

[Ace speaks]

Deuce: What, that'd be a problem for me, too? Nope, I'm always super grateful for the extra classes that help me learn things with greater detail. I say bring it on!

Deuce: Besides… I already stay after class a bunch, anyway. Even if that happens more often, it doesn't really change anything for me…

[Ace speaks]

Deuce: …Heh, as long as you get it. Okay then, I'm gonna go back to memorizing the formula… Eh, an Ancient Magic quiz!?

Deuce: Shoot, I need to study for that, too. I can't fail that quiz, either!

Deuce: But I still haven't even memorized the formula for my Enigmics class either, what should I…

Deuce: Oh, right! I should just study for both of them at the same time!

Deuce: I'll write the formula for Enigmics while I repeat the Ancient Magic stuff out loud.

Deuce: P = T × S² × X… P = T × S² × X…

Deuce: The next word means… "to flow."

Deuce: P = T × S² × X… P = T × S² × X…

Deuce: This word means "mountain"… Right. I'm gonna get all the rest of these 40 words to stick in my brain, too…

Deuce: I'll definitely be able to memorize everything if I do this! Now to keep this up all night long!

[Heartslabyul Dorm – Deuce's Room]

[RIIIIIIIING!!!!]

Deuce: Nnnngh…

Deuce: Nnn… P = … The mountain… flows… T ×…

Deuce: EH, IT'S MORNING ALREADY!? NO WAY!!!!

Deuce: I only meant to take a short nap, but I ended up sleeping until morning…

Deuce: What was the formula for Enigmics again…? Urrgh, I can't remember at all.

Deuce: And I've only been able to memorize about 3 of the terms for Ancient Magic. What should I do…?

Deuce: No, I can't give up! I need to head to class early and study. Gotta get ready fast!

Deuce: …Whew, washing my face really feels refreshing. I'll apply some sunscreen after doing some quick skincare…

Deuce: Alright, next is the makeup. I'll start with my eyebrows.

Deuce: I just need to brush it and draw in any hairs where it feels lacking. Finish the ends of the eyebrows with a sharp point up…

Deuce: Cool, that's perfect.

Deuce: There was a time I just shaved off all my eyebrows… But I definitely look more like an honor student when I take care of them like this.

Deuce: After the eyebrows, I gotta draw in the suit… It's my birthday, so should I make it look a little cooler around my eyes?

Deuce: Maybe I could cover it in sparkly glitter just like how a Blastcycle can get all deco'd out…

Deuce: …Nah, I shouldn't. That's not something an honor student would do!

Deuce: My mom always said that the most important thing about making a good impression is looking crisp. If I think of those words, then…

Deuce: I guess the suit mark should just be drawn in simple black. I just gotta draw the line diagonally up, then make a sharp point…

Deuce: Alright, I drew it pretty good! Now all I have to do is fill in the color without any gaps… There, I'm done. Not bad at all.

Deuce: Next, I gotta deal with my hair. I just need to brush everything… Hmm.

Deuce: I did the makeup like I normally do, so maybe I should do something different with my hairstyle?

Deuce: I could use wax to give my hair some lift… Maybe make it a bit wavy, or harden it with a bit of gel?

Deuce: …Nah, I think I'll just comb my bangs to the side and call it a day. This looks the most normal, so.

Deuce: Besides, I can finish getting ready almost instantly when I choose to go with this hairstyle.

Deuce: In the past, I didn't just dye it, but sometimes pinned my hair back, or slicked it back, or had a more shaved look…

Deuce: I'd used to try out so many different hair styles, so it'd take a lot more time to get ready in the mornings. That kinda takes me back.

Deuce: I still kinda feel like something's missing, but… I don't want to come off as intimidating. I think this is the closest I can look to my ideal self!

[Main Street]

Deuce: My appearance looks spot on today. No matter how anyone looks at it, I look just like a serious student.

Deuce: I just gotta work on my insides. First, I gotta memorize the Enigmics formula, and the Ancient Magic terms.

Deuce: I'M GONNA GIVE IT MY ALL! RAAAH!!

Rook: Good morning, Monsieur Spade!

Rook: Not only do you look even more invigorating than usual, but there you go, giving yourself such a rousing inspirational pep talk… How beauté!

Deuce: H-Hunt-senpai!? Good morning. And here I thought no one would be here, 'cause it's so early in the morning…

Rook: Heh, there's nothing to be so embarrassed about. Your passionate declaration struck my heart like a steadfast arrow.

Deuce: Ahaha… I guess that's fine, then…

Rook: Oh, yes, and since we've met here, allow me to extend my heartfelt well wishes.

Rook: Happy Birthday. I wish from the bottom of my heart that this year will bring you nothing but the opportunity to shine on brilliantly.

Rook: As long as you have the will, your dreams will definitely come true. I will be rooting for you from the side.

Deuce: …! Thank you very much, Hunt-senpai… I'm so happy to hear you say that.

Deuce: In order to become who I want to be, I'll do my best today, too!

Requested by @farfalla049.

#twisted wonderland #twst #deuce spade #rook hunt #ace trappola #twst deuce #twst rook #twst ace #twst translation #twst birthday #mention: crewel #mention: riddle

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seumyo · 3 months ago

Note

This is the first time I dare to do something like this, but I saw you were writing for Rook one of my favourite characters. So I was wondering if you could do something with a French!Reader, not necessarily a romantic one but someone who would understand what Rook says perfectly. It would be better if they spoke Japanese since their arrival and he doesn't know they understand him until they surprise him by responding.

ROOK HUNT ✰ UNDERSTANDING YOU

NOTE. This is so sweet, I’m clawing at the walls. Rook, my love (◞ ⸝⸝ ◟ ) Thank you so much for this beautiful request <33 Also forgive me French speakers if the translations are rough/grammatically incorrect—I was fighting for my life against most online translators for this

You’ve always known that Rook had a way with his words. He was convinced no one at Night Raven College could fully appreciate his words, so he freely spoke his mind in his native language.

It became his way of processing emotions and, at times—his frustrations—without anyone understanding his deeper thoughts. Because of this, he was more unfiltered and vulnerable when speaking French, a luxury he thought he alone could enjoy.

That is, until you came into the picture.

You were seated in your usual spot in the library, books spread out in front of you as you studied, when Rook appeared seemingly out of nowhere. How does he do that? You could never truly know.

“Quelle concentration exquise! (What exquisite focus!) A sight you are, [Name],” he smiled, taking a seat next to you and peering over your shoulder to see what textbook you were reading.

You, exhausted from hours of reading and too distracted to think, responded automatically.

“Tu es vraiment bruyant, Rook. (You're really loud, Rook.)”

Pause.

Stop.

Rewind.

Rebooting.

“Ah-ha!” Rook almost cheered in glee, but you were able to stop him from doing so—because you were sure the librarian was keeping a stern eye on you two by now. He chuckled, murmuring this time, “Merveilleux. (Marvelous!) You speak French.”

“I��“

He, however, was already leaning closer, his grin full of delight—as if unable to stop himself from chatting your head off upon this revelation. “Why have you hidden this from me for so long? Ah, quel bonheur. (What joy!) I had thought myself alone in this vast sea of languages, but to know that you too carry the melody of French upon your tongue—it is as though fate has brought us together.”

Caught somewhere between embarrassment and amusement, you duckled your head, resting your head against your propped arms on the table. “Ce n'était pas intentionnel. (It wasn’t intentional.)”

“But why?” Rook pressed, tilting his head. He almost looked like a child—unable to hold his curiosity in one place. “Was it shyness? Or perhaps… a desire to keep your origins a secret? Oh, the mystery only adds to your allure.”

“I just... didn’t see the need to?” You mirrored his head tilt, now pondering why you never spoke much French when you got to this college.

He gasped.

“But why deny yourself the pleasure of our beautiful language?”

“Je ne sais pas, Rook. (I don't know, Rook.) Maybe I just liked keeping it to myself? I’m not really sure.”

Rook studied you for a moment before smiling, softer this time. “Well then, [Name], if I may be so bold… would you indulge me in conversation every now and then? It is rare to find someone who understands the true essence of our mother tongue.”

There was something warm about the way he said it, a genuine happiness beneath his usual theatrical flair. It’s that unfiltered, unparalleled joy of finding that specific connection with someone.

You said yes, of course.

And just like that, things changed.

Where before Rook had simply been another student you occasionally encountered and was in the same dorm as you, he now became a frequent presence at your side, always eager to chat. At first, it was strange—you weren’t used to speaking French so casually in this school, but with Rook, it felt natural.

“Regarde comme le ciel est beau aujourd'hui! (Look at how beautiful the sky is today!)” Rook says as you two walk through the gardens, gesturing delicately.

“Mhm, it’s nice out,” you replied, amused at his enthusiasm.

Or, when you were focused on something, he would suddenly appear beside you, whispering in your ear, “Tu as un esprit si captivant… Que pourrais-tu bien être en train de penser? (You have such a captivating mind… What could you possibly be thinking about?)”

To which you’d flick his forehead and respond, “Que tu es agaçant. (That you're annoying.)” He’d laugh as you continued, “Really, stop creeping up behind me like that—I could’ve elbowed you.”

“Violent, how endearing.”

He, of course, took it all in stride, laughing as if you had just paid him the highest compliment.

Despite his dramatics, you found yourself enjoying his presence more than you expected. There was something comforting about having someone else who understood your language, who could switch between playful teasing and deep, poetic musings without hesitation. It felt like home in a way you hadn’t realized you missed.

A friend that made you feel at home. As you did with him.

One evening, as you sat by the lake, watching the water ripple under the fading sunlight, Rook sighed contentedly.

“Tu sais, (You know),” he said, voice softer than usual, “depuis que je suis ici, je me suis souvent senti comme un étranger dans mon propre monde. (Ever since I arrived here, I’ve often felt like a stranger in my own world.)”

You were surprised by his change of tone.

“Pourquoi? (Why?)”

Rook smiled, but there was a wistfulness in his expression. “Parce que la langue est une chose étrange. (Because language is a strange thing.) It is not just words—it carries culture, memories, the very essence of who we are. And though I love the way words dance in many tongues, there is a loneliness in being the only one to understand a particular melody.”

You had never thought about it that way.

He really had a way with words.

And an even more

You nudged his shoulder lightly. “Tu n’es plus seul maintenant. (You’re not alone anymore.)”

Rook blinked, then beamed at you, warmth radiating from his smile. “Ah, quelle déclaration magnifique! (Ah, what a magnificent declaration!) My dear [Name], you are truly a treasure!”

You laughed, shaking your head.

“Ne sois pas dramatique. (Don’t be dramatic.)”

“But it is my nature!” he declared, throwing an arm around your shoulders.

You sighed quietly but didn’t move away.

You supposed that, just this once, you could let him be as dramatic as he wanted. Because Rook really did feel like he was home whenever he was with you, and that made his heart more contented than anything.

#‹𝟹 𓏲🗒️ꜝֶָ֢ ʾʾ #rook x reader #rook x yuu #rook fluff #rook headcanons #twst x reader #twst fluff #twst drabbles #twst headcanons #twst imagines #twisted wonderland imagines #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland disney #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland rook #rook hunt #twst rook

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noira-l · 7 months ago

Text

𝙱𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛

𝚂𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢: Caught between the echoes of a love that once felt unshakable and the shadow of someone Satoru can’t let go, you’re left wondering if you’ve become invisible to the man you gave everything to. As the cracks in your bond deepen, you question whether love is enough — or if it’s time to let go of what’s already gone. How do you hold on when it feels like he already let go?

𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 — satoru gojo x gn reader (mentioning satosugu)

𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜/𝚝𝚊𝚐𝚜 — heavy angst, relationship problems, lack of communication, fading love (?)

𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝 — 3,8 k

𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚛'𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎 — I don't know if this will appeal to anyone, it's quite bittersweet and not necessarily healthy. It's literally bitter. This short text has been sitting in my archive for a long time so I decided to publish it at last, at most I will delete it. Though I wish to thank everyone who took the time to read it.

𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝 | 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝟸

You don't know what tempted Satoru to offer you a date back then.

You now think he shouldn't have done it.

You can’t remember the last time you felt truly happy. Not fleetingly, not a passing moment of contentment, but deeply, unwaveringly content.

The school lay in hushed stillness at this hour, its usual clamor dissolved into quiet. You sat at the farthest desk in one of the classrooms, one leg folded beneath you, cradling a cup of coffee between your palms. The bitter scent curled into the air, threading itself through the lingering traces of chalk dust and the aged scent of worn wood.

On the blackboard, yesterday’s equations - half-erased, yet unwilling to disappear. Much like the emotions you had tried to brush away, faded but stubborn to dissapear. Your fingers traced the rim of your mug, thoughts drifting as lazily as the steam rising from the dark liquid.

It had been a long time since Suguru left. Back then, everything had felt raw and unbearablethe, sting of betrayal still fresh in the air. And yet, in the aftermath, in the quiet spaces left behind, you and Satoru had grown closer.

It wasn’t something you consciously decided. It wasn’t something you had to think about, figuring out how to approach him. It was as instinctual, as natural as reading the air in a room or sensing the unspoken shifts in someone's mood. With Satoru, though, it was more than just intuition, you could almost say it was understanding. A deep, unspoken bond that had grown stronger with time.

You always seemed to know when to come and talk, even when no one else dared. On those rare days when his usual cocky grin faltered, when the sparkle in his eyes dimmed just enough for someone paying attention to notice, you were there.

Sometimes it was at the vending machines, where he leaned heavily against the metal, his lanky frame somehow looking smaller than usual. You’d saunter up with a casual air, hand already fishing for coins in pockets.

"Need a sponsor for your sugar addiction today?" you’d tease lightly, holding up so his eyes peeked over the rims, something glimmering in the pale blue that spoke of exhaustion he’d never admit to.

"Nah." he’d reply, running a hand through his hair, as if to brush away whatever weight was pressing on him "I’ve got this one. Wouldn’t want you thinking I’m a charity case."

But you’d stay, letting the silence between you stretch just long enough to be comforting, not awkward. You’d watch as he punched in the code for some brightly colored soda. The machine whirring noisily before the can clattered down. Without a word, he’d grab a second one, tossing it to you with an easy grin.

"Payment for standing there and looking cute." he’d say, back to his usual self, but there was gratitude in his tone, unspoken but clear.

There were other times, though, when he needed more than a soda and some banter. Like the evenings after particularly rough missions, when he’d show up at your door unannounced - his hair a mess, tense shoulders and tired grimance. You’d let him in without a word, offering him your couch and a cup of tea, because somehow you just knew that tonight wasn’t the night for jokes.

He’d sit there, cradling the cup in his hands but not drinking, staring blankly at the wall as if he were somewhere else entirely. As if he needed to void out. You’d sit beside him, not too close, but just enough for him to know you were there. And when he finally spoke - his voice low, words heavy - you’d listen. Really listen. You never interrupted, never offered solutions unless he asked. Sometimes he’d talk for hours, sentences disjointed, something like a rambling, and sometimes he’d only manage a few broken phrases before falling silent again.

When he needed rationality and logic, you were ready with facts and plans, gently nudging him back to a place where things felt manageable.

When he needed humor, you’d crack jokes, your timing always impeccable, drawing out a laugh even on the worst days.

And when he needed affection - though he’d never say it outright -you gave it freely. A hand on his shoulder, a hug that lasted just a little longer than usual, a touch that reminded him he wasn’t alone.

So when he offered you a date, you agreed.

And when he asked if you would become his partner, you were on cloud nine.

Back then, he was just Satoru to you. Not the invincible sorcerer everyone else saw, but a boy, with too much energy and a habit of getting powdered sugar all over his shirt when he ate donuts. A boy who, for all his teasing, could lean against a wall and talk about Digimon for hours with an enthusiasm so pure - it made you fall even harder. A boy who, when you had a bad day, would wordlessly pass you a soda with a cartoonish wink, somehow knowing that was all you needed.

First year was magic. Satoru was charming, generous, and, despite his flaws, someone you loved wholly.

He’d take you to convenience stores late at night, pointing out the most absurd snacks with an exaggerated pitch to his voice, pretending to be a food critic. He'd tease you endlessly at vending machines, pressing every button until the machine threatened to short-circuit, just to make you laugh. Once, he'd insisted on racing you through a grocery aisle, your cart stacked precariously high with ramen and energy drinks. You'd lost, of course, but his cackling laughter had made losing feel like winning.

But slowly, the boy you loved had begun to feel more like an idea. A projection. A shadow of something that wasn’t meant for you.

Four years went by.

You remember what it was like to be young.

Set on everything with determination and a willingness to fix thing. Back then you had the ambition to do it, back then you wanted it.

Now that you're older, you don't have the strenght for it.

Obligations, bills, work and life - everything is weighing you down. Nanami was right when he said that small despairs make you an adult.

And you have a relative abundance of them.

It's no longer about the responsibilities themselves, because you're able to handle that easily, but about the fact that things are no longer the way they were.

You squeeze your cup tighter.

You won't last like this for much longer.

Lately, nothing feels the same. There’s a hollowness, like the echo left behind when all the love you poured into something spills out for nothing. Joy has become elusive, a bittersweet phantom haunting you, like the sugary snacks you occasionally buy to share with Satoru. Those treats, so deceptively sweet, leave a bitter aftertaste that lingers on your tongue and in your heart.

You don’t know when it started to fall apart. Maybe it was never whole to begin with - just a beautiful facade waiting to show its true colors.

Satoru has always been a man of revelations, each one peeling back another layer of who he is. Over the years, you’ve seen both his brilliance and his shadows. Yet, in all of his contradictions, there is one constant he’s shown you: his faithfulness.

The tragedy lies in its direction.

Because Satoru’s faithfulness has never been to you.

Not truly.

You can’t compete with the ghost of his best friend - the same best friend who set a village ablaze, who shattered him with his final words, and whom Satoru has never stopped loving.

It wasn’t obvious at first. The truth revealed itself in fragments, like shards of glass glittering in the aftermath of a wreck. It began innocuously, in the quiet of your shared nights. The first time you crossed that invisible line and slept with each other, you heard him murmur a name in his sleep. Suguru. At first, you thought it was a nightmare. Your boyfriend told you he had them often, and you believed him. But then, one night, you heard something different. A whisper, soft and reverent "Love you."

And then, as though to leave no doubt - "Suguru."

He never used that words for you.

You dismissed it, telling yourself that dreams are strange and inexplicable things.

But as the months passed, you began to notice things that your infatuation had blinded you to before.

Satoru, who could talk endlessly about himself, rarely asked you anything of substance. Sure, he might throw out a casual "How was your day?" now and then, but he never delved deeper. Never asked about your thoughts, your passions, your dreams. You told yourself it was just his nature - that he was too talkative to stop and listen. Yet, you remembered how he used to ask Suguru about everything. Suguru’s favorite soda. His opinion on Digimon. Every little thing.

But you? He never bothered to know you like that.

Even his touch, once comforting, felt distant. Satoru was happy to drape an arm around your shoulders or hug you playfully. But the moment you reached for him - tried to touch him with intention - he’d often pull away, as if the intimacy was too much. Once, you rested your head against his shoulder while he scrolled through his phone. He tensed, made an excuse, and shifted just far enough away that the moment dissolved into awkwardness.

Slowly, the cracks grew wider. You began to scrutinize every word, every gesture, every gift. His presents, once a delight, now felt hollow. They lacked thought or care - impersonal trinkets that might as well have been for anyone. When you finally mustered the courage to mention it, his response stunned you.

He shrugged "Suguru would’ve appreciated it."

He thought you hadn’t heard.

You started to wonder if you were a placeholder - a convenient balm for the gaping wound Geto had left behind. A temporary shelter where he could rest and heal, before moving on to something, someone, better.

You sighed, taking a sip of your coffee. Bitter taste filling your senses.

How fitting.

Then there were other signs. The way his conversations always circled back to him - his laugh, his thoughts, his preferences. His hair routine, his clothing choices, his music taste. You remember them all.

But what about you?

You started noticing how little he asked about you. Your opinions, your likes and dislikes, your routines - none of it seemed to interest him the way Geto’s had. You once mentioned your favorite book, and he’d brushed it off saying "Suguru liked that one too."

He didn’t even ask why you loved it.

The bitterness grew, but you pushed it down. You tried harder. You gave more.

Maybe if you just loved him harder, he’d see it. Maybe if you proved yourself enough, he’d understand.

But no matter how much you gave - your patience, your time, your quiet sacrifices - it was never enough. No matter how much there was on your shoulders. He’d just brush it off, as if none of it really mattered. As if you didn’t really matter.

You thought back to that day on the stairs. You’d been carrying too much - boxes of documents stacked high in your arms, the weight pressing down as exhaustion dragged at your limbs. The day had already been endless, your body running on fumes. And then, a misstep. The world tilting. Papers scattering. The sharp sting of impact rattling through you.

Shoko and Utahime had rushed over immediately, their concern written in the furrow of their brows, in the way their hands found your shoulders, steadying, grounding.

And Sator, your dear boyfriend of few years?

He had stood at the top of the stairs, hands in his pockets, that ever-present grin curling at his lips - like it was all some joke, like you weren’t biting back the burn of frustrated tears as the girls helped you up.

"Clumsy as ever, huh?" he’d quipped, the words light, teasing - cutting in a way they hadn’t been meant to.

You’d laughed too, because what else was there to do? A weak, hollow sound that barely scraped the surface of your exhaustion.

Shoko had leaned in, voice low, a quiet tether pulling you back from the edge "He’s an idiot."

And you had nodded, forcing another awkwarda laugh, pretending it didn’t sting. Pretending you weren’t still waiting for something more.

Or the time on the bike trip, when he’d sped ahead without a second thought, leaving you struggling at the back. The wind whipped against your face, your legs burned, and the distance between you stretched farther and farther. He never once glanced back. By the time you finally caught up at the end - breathless, frustrated, fighting the ache in your limbs - he only grinned, ruffling your hair like you were some kid tagging along.

"Took you long enough. You’re so slow - come on!"

Like it hadn’t mattered. Like you hadn’t spent the entire ride cursing under your breath, wondering why he never once thought to wait.

Or that evening outside the archives. You’d been carrying stacks of documents, arms trembling under the weight, your balance precarious with every step. The workload had been heavy that day -too many records to sort, too many reports to file.

And then, just your luck - Satoru happened to be passing by. He stopped, hands tucked into his pockets, watching you struggle with that same insufferable ease.

"Need a hand?" he asked, his lips curling into a lazy, teasing smile.

Relieved, you nodded, expecting him to take some of the load. Instead, he only laughed, stepping back as if the thought had never been serious.

"You’re stronger than you look. You’ve got this!"

And then he walked away.

You stood there for a long moment, the weight in your arms pressing down heavier than before, something inside you sinking just as much. It wasn’t until Ijichi came running up minutes later - breathless, flustered, immediately taking the papers from your arms - that you realized how much the interaction stung. You wanted to cry after that day.

You clenched your jaw at the memory, fingers tightening around the cup.

You couldn’t brush it off as teasing - not anymore. Not after everything. Not after the way each remark, each careless dismissal, began carving into you, deeper and deeper, until the wounds felt too raw to ignore. You knew he didn’t mean to hurt you. Satoru wasn’t cruel to you. But he was careless in a way that cut sharper than deliberate malice ever could.

You tried to talk to him. Over and over again.

You tried to bridge the growing distance, to make him see what his actions did to you. You told him how you felt - how his words made you feel invisible, unloved.

He always listened. Always apologized. Always promised to do better.

"I’m an idiot sometimes." "You know I care about you." "You know I love you, right?"

Did you?

Because sometimes, he did do better. For a little while. But it never lasted.

And the worst part? There were still days when he surprised you - when he remembered the smallest detail about you, something you never expected him to notice. When he wrapped you in an embrace so warm, so achingly genuine, that for a moment, you almost believed things could go back to the way they were.

Those moments used to be sweet.

Now, they were bitter - tainted by the quiet, sinking knowledge that they would never last.

You started to think you were a burden, and a burden to him. To his world, to his perfectly constructed image of his bestfriend who is long gone.

Eventually, you stopped trying.

It wasn't a sudden decision. It was a slow, quiet thing - a gradual erosion of effort, of hope, of whatever was left inside you that still believed things could change.

So you did what you had always done best: you worked harder. You buried yourself in tasks, taking on extra responsibilities, pushing for promotions, negotiating a better salary, securing better insurance - things that had tangible results, things that didn’t depend on someone else’s willingness to care. You spent late nights hunched over papers, your fingers stiff from typing, mind too exhausted to wander to the places it used to. The ones where you still hoped.

You told yourself that if you kept yourself busy, if you filled every moment with something else, the ache in your chest would dull. That if you distanced yourself, if you cared less, it would hurt less.

It didn’t.

You didn’t think Satoru would notice. Not really. He had always been good at missing the things that mattered. But lately, there were signs—small, almost imperceptible shifts that told you someone had gotten through to him.

It wasn’t you.

It was your friends. The ones who saw what you had long since stopped voicing. You knew this because one evening, while passing by an open window, you overheard a conversation that wasn’t meant for you.

"You don’t pay attention to them at all, do you?" Shoko’s voice steady, unimpressed.

"What? That’s not true." Satoru’s response came, lighthearted and quite defensive.

"It is." there was no hesitation in her tone "They stopped trying, and you didn’t even notice, right? You should’ve."

You had stopped walking then, the weight of the words keeping you frozen in place, listening to a conversation you shouldn’t have been hearing.

"I—" he started, then fell silent.

"They never ask anything from you, and you take that for granted. They don’t complain when you don’t have time, they don’t whine when you’re busy, and they never expect you to put them first." a pause, then a quieter, sharper addition: "And you just let them disappear."

You had moved away before you could hear his response. You knew Utahime scolded his as well. Nanami also happend to add a few remarks where he could. It didn’t matter anymore. But still, you're glad they're trying.

You knew Satoru had little time. You had never once faulted him for that. You had never admonished him, never whined or complained -not to him, not to anyone. You weren’t someone who needed constant reassurance, weren’t someone who demanded attention. You understood how much he carried, how much the world expected of him.

And maybe that was the problem.

Maybe you had been so careful not to be a burden that he had forgotten you needed things too. For so long, you had been the one to reach out. The one to bridge the gaps. The one who tried, and tried, and tried - until one day, you realized you didn’t even know how to anymore.

So you've stuck here. Distanced emotionally and physically.

You didn’t start conversations with him anymore. You didn’t go anywhere anymore. If he asked, you refused, always citing work as the reason. It wasn’t even a lie. You had more than enough tasks to keep you occupied - endless stacks of reports, backlogged documents in the archives, additional responsibilities you willingly shouldered just to ensure you had something to do. Something that kept you from dwelling on the widening gap between you and him.

Anything to make you forget about the boy you fell in love with.

Shoko and Utahime noticed. Of course, they did.

"You’ve been busy lately." Utahime had commented once, watching you as you skimmed through paperwork over a cup of tea.

"You okay?" Shoko had asked, her voice quieter, more careful.

You had smiled. "Yeah, just a lot of work." and you got back to it without another word. You never elaborated. Never let on that your workload wasn’t the real reason. But they weren’t fools.

Because everyone saw it.

They saw how your expression shifted whenever Satoru entered the room. How your voice lost some warmth when he spoke to you. They saw the way your posture stiffened, how the exhaustion in your eyes sharpened whenever he draped an arm over your shoulders or tried to inject lightness into the air.

And maybe that was the worst part. That he still tried. That he still threw his arms around you, still cracked his jokes, still playfully nudged you, like nothing had changed.

Did he not see it? Did he truly not notice how the spark of amusement that used to be there had long since flickered out?

Or did he notice, and just pretend not to?

You didn’t know which answer would be worse. But either way, he didn’t stop.

He would still come find you at work, leaning casually against the edge of your desk, rattling off whatever was on his mind - missions, food, something absurd that had happened that day. And you, out of politeness, would respond. Not with the teasing banter you used to return so easily, but with something neutral, something enough. Sometimes you would ask a question - just to avoid silence. Just to make it seem like you weren’t completely closed off.

But you were. And if he noticed the difference, if he felt the weight of the silence growing between you, he never let it show.

So now you’re sitting here, in class, alone. Like every morning.

Coffee sits between your hands, its warmth seeping into your fingers. It’s bitter, too bitter, the way work coffee always is - but you drink it anyway. You’re used to the taste.

These mornings are never quite the same.

Some days, you sit in complete silence, your expression unreadable, your thoughts somewhere far away. Retracing steps, rewinding memories, searching for the moment where it all started to slip - where the warmth faded, where the distance began.

Other days, tears slip down before you can stop them, disappearing into the wood of the desk, vanishing like they were never there at all. On the worst mornings, you sob, quiet and restrained, shoulders shaking under the weight of something too heavy to name.

And then there are mornings like today. Mornings where you smile - bright, convincing, almost effortless. You tell yourself that you’ve accepted it. That this is just how things are. That you tried everything, exhausted every option, and this is simply who he is.

You tell yourself that you can live with it. That it’s fine. That it doesn’t hurt. You pretend. Pretend that everything is okay.

And the kicker?

You’re sure he’s not going to do anything about it. You’ve distanced yourself, drawn the lines, left enough space between you that even he should notice. And yet, you don’t expect him to react. Not really.

Because deep down, you wonder if he even sees it. If he’s aware of what’s slipping away right in front of him. If he even cares.

And maybe - maybe this was always inevitable. Maybe this is just what love turns into. Not the explosion of anger or betrayal you once feared, not a dramatic ending wrapped in sharp words and finality, but something slower. Quieter. A slow erosion of what once was, until all that remains is something unrecognizable.

The door creaked open, and you stiffened, hastily wiping at your eyes before turning away, pretending to focus on the coffee cooling between your hands.

Satoru stepped in, his ever-present grin faltering slightly when he saw you.

"Hey." his voice was light, easy, too easy. Like he was testing the waters "Thought I’d find you here."

You forced a smile, the weight of your mask settling over you like a familiar friend.

"Morning."

He pulled out the chair beside you, sinking into it with that same practiced casualness, legs sprawled, arms draped over the back like he didn’t notice.

"I brought you something." he reached into a small paper bag, placing it on the desk between you.

You opened it to find a box of sweets. The wrong ones. Again.

"Thanks." you murmured, setting the bag aside.

Satoru frowned and hesitated. His fingers drummed against the desk once, twice. His gaze flickered over your face, searching.

"You okay?"

"Yeah." you said still smiliing, the lie slipping out as easily as it always did.

And like always, he accepted it without question.

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