#the top bit is based on this one comic i seriously can’t fucking stop thinking abt. cuz i was thinking abt rick listening to breakcore

[marsbotz]

happy rick and morty episode day. anyone else feel the fear of god

[fear-and-delight-l]

GENDERSWAPPED!LOSERS

HERE WE GO 

JILLIAN DENBROUGH 

-Jill is very avid about getting her sister, Georgia back. Well, at least the killer anyways. 

-Jill has never finished any of her writing, until she is an adult. 

-aRTiSt??

-Jill gives hugs hugs hugs!!!

-everyone wants her hugs. 

-ok, Jill is very sexually confused. Bradley Marsh is good looking...but so is McKenna Hanlon with her pink lipstick and her always good looking pigtails....then there is Sarah Uris, who is so cute with her blonde/brown curls and her little cheerleading outfit. 

-suffers from stuttering simp disorder 

-simp simp simp

-simp? Yes. 

-ok but I think she would like Plastic Hearts by Miley Cyrus lmao

-FLANNEL GODDESS!!! Has flannels in so many colors. 

-”R-R-Riley, stop m-making fun of m-my j-j-jorts.” 

-oh yeah. She is rocking the jean shorts. They either go to around her knees or near the middle of her thighs. 

-shoulder length brown hair. Screams bisexual. 

RILEY TOZIER

-just gonna put this out there, take it as you will, but her glasses make her look like a fish. Her eyes are HUGE 

-goddess or (what is a non-binary god? Godthem?) of dad jokes. But not the corny kind. The kind of dad jokes that include sleeping with him and “riding him like a horse.” 

-”so not fucking funny.” -Edith Kaspbrak, who’s dad isn’t even present in her life.  -yeah, bisexual.  -sexual for Edith Kaspbrak.  -And Sarah Uris

-And Bradley Marsh

-and Jill Denbrough 

-and Brenna Hanscom

-and Patrick Hockstetter (she regrets this. But when Patrick isn’t chasing her with Bowers and Criss and Huggins, she likes to notice that Patrick is definitely good looking)

-crazy wavy hair. Seriously, she wears it in a pixie cut, and it is CRAZY. But she help Bradley cut away his mullet. 

-the friendship dynamic between Riley Tozier and Bradley Marsh is UNSTOPPABLE!

-plays softball with Jill. She is pitcher, and damn is she good. (Jill plays third base, for reference)

-the girls on the softball team sort of like her, sort of not. She’s a loser, and they don’t like her because everyone thinks she’s queer.  -still a trash mouth 

-still a smartass 

-Rildeth? Edithley? Redith?

BRADLEY MARSH

-all right, here we go. 

-POWER BISEXUAL

-He came out to Riley, and Riley came out to him. 

-daddy issues  

-daddy issues

-daddy issues

-anyways, Bradley had a mullet that his dad made him wear, and when Riley helped him cut it....freedom!

-when he and the other losers are going to the quarry, he likes to help McKenna pick flowers so Sarah will have some to turn into flower crowns  

-is totally charmed by Jill  Denbrough. He is a simp for how charming she is. Bravery, art...

-Bradley also likes to draw. 

-Brenna may be totally smitten with him....

-Bradley is the same age as all the other losers, but the losers all see him as older. 

-hates his father, feels weak around him. 

-he and Riley often share cigarettes. (I love the friendship dynamic here.)

-Bradley has little freckles, and when he and Brenna get together as adults, Brenna likes to kiss all of them. 

-Bradley loves to hang with Sarah, and she is such a sweetie. She gets annoyed, but when she is around Bradley, she is calm. 

-Bradley likes to put his arm around Sarah, ALWAYS

-I’m in love

SARAH URIS 

-WE LOVE OUR JEWISH CHEERLEADER LESBIAN

-yes, Sarah Uris is cheer captain. The other cheerleaders are skeptical of her, but treat her ok nonetheless. 

-Sarah Uris is a softie who will tell you to fuck off. 

-bridwatcher. Sarah loves her birds. She likes to sit with Jill. Jill draws birds while Sarah quietly talk about the birds. 

-Brenna loves to play with her curls, braiding them and doing fun styles with them with the help from McKenna. 

-sundresses one day, shorts and a shirt the next. 

-her hair is so nice! Think...classic curls. Google for reference. 

-the cheerleaders don’t go to track meets or softball games. So, since Brenna and Edith are both in track and Jill and Riley are softball players, she goes in her own cheerleading outfit, and even snags one for McKenna, (who isn’t a cheerleader.) and they both cheer at track and softball. 

-must I remind you that Jill is a simp for BOTH OF THEM. AND BRADLEY?? HE CHEERS THEM ON TOO.

-one time Bradley actually got into a cheerleading skirt??!!

-anyways, back to Sarah.  -she loves to give everyone kisses before leaving. Here’s how she gives them:

Jill: cheek kiss, runs a hand through her hair.  Edith: takes Edith’s face in her hands and kisses her nose. Edith sometimes backs up a little when she feels a little panicky about germs, but always accepts Sarah’s kiss.  Bradley: forehead. She ruffles his hair, and sometimes, Bradley kisses her chin as she is kissing his forehead.  McKenna: near her lips. Like, the corner of her mouth. 🥺 Brenna: cheek kiss. She holds brenna’s chin while kissing her.  Riley: straight on the lips. Or the forehead if you song ship stozier. -ok, I am a huge fan of Sarah+Riley....but then there is Edith. Poly??? Possibly 

-anyways, Sarah loves to make flower crowns and put them in bradley’s hair. 

-she and Brenna are very close. If Sarah isn’t next to Bradley, or has Riley’s arm around her shoulders, she is with Brenna, either holding her hand or showing her stuff about plants or birds. She gives Brenna constant praise about the barrens 

-very grumpy a lot.

BRENNA HANSCOM

ok, Brenna is straight. I didn’t change that.  -Brenna thinks constructively, and is a visual learner. Constantly thinks about the future. 

-ok, she is so so so sweet. Likes to wear this cute pink skirt, but only around the losers. 

-POETRY

-She loves to read and wrote poetry. It’s so cute I just can’t aaaah-

-ok, so she’s on the track team. Edith convinces her in 10th grade. 

-HAIR CLIPS! she has them in her hair, and tons extra in her backpack. 

-Bradley loves it when Brenna plays with his hair and puts clips in it. 

-she and Bradley are very good friends. 

-she may be straight, but isn’t uncomfortable when Sarah holds her hand or Riley talks about her gay situation or when Jill tells her she’s pretty. She just isn’t gay but she loves and supports her gay friends. She even kissed McKenna in a game of spin the bottle

-poor baby has body insecurities...

-ugh, she hates Henry Bowers. But she loves ice cream! She likes vanilla because it’s sweet and plain. 

-when they have sleepovers, everyone always has a disc of New Kids on the Block to play for her (AAA!)

-Riley literally swore to protect her. Even though Riley’s sarcasm can be demeaning, she trusts her. 

-Brenna Hanscom, a sweetie that will fight for you.

McKenna Hanlon, the badass vegan who definitely has WAP. 

-ok, I didn’t change her race, she is still black. 

-McKenna is a sign of hope. Everyone feels so uplifted around her. 

-she has this signature pink lipstick she wears everyday the Greta Bowie makes fun of, but she still wears it. 

-she loves bubblegum. McKenna has it ALL THE TIME. 

-inspiration? Yes. She is a goddess. 

-ok, she is so nice, but that gun she has? Pennywise doesn’t stand a chance. McKenna is a fighter. 

-McKenna has these cute little pig tails that she wears with purple ribbons. Jill loves to listen to her talk. 

-definitely the least insane of all the losers, but girl knows how to have fun!

-not a huge smoker, but occasionally will share one with Bradley. 

-the friendship between McKenna and Bradley is impeccable. They are a badass duo. 

-I don’t know what her sexuality is. She definitely doesn’t. Although she and Jill got caught making out in a closet. They said it was no strings attached....suspicious.

-she is indeed vegan. She just has a special love for animals and can’t bring herself to eat them. She isn’t protesting everyone to go vegan, she just eats how she wants. She occasionally slips and goes for ice cream though😉

-at the rock war, after she recovered a little from Bowers, SHE BEAT HIS ASS!

-my queen, gosh I love her!

-she is so much fun to be around. One time, in the barrens, she installed a swing so she could sit in somethin because Riley and Edith and Sarah are always in the hammock together. (It’s bound to break). 

-need a therapist? She’s ya girl. 

EDITH!!

-ok, so this looks very soft girl, but Edith is fiery!  -her mom makes her worry a lot about disease and what not, but her anxiety about what her mom may do is worse. 

-seriously, she is scared of her mother. She doesn’t even know if her sickness are real. 

-anyways, don’t fuck with her. She will bite you. 

-no seriously, she will bite you. One time in a fight with Hockstetter, she bit him. She was worried she might have gotten something in her mouth, but Sarah calmed her down.  -she may bicker with Riley, but really, she loves her. Her and her stupid glasses, 

-anyways, she is a sweetie. She runs track, but as long as Riley is waiting on the sidelines with her inhaler at the end, she is alright. 

-someone give this girl a hug. 

-internalized homophobia towards herself. 

-she and Bradley are good, they just aren’t as close. Edith is closest with Jill. 

-Edith looks up to Jill, big time. 

-Edith hates her mom very very much. 

-she wears cute little tops with shorts or skirts. Occasionally she will wear overalls. 

-fuck greta Bowie campaign? Yeah, Edith started it.

-Fanny pack! She has an extra pair of glasses for Riley, Bobby pins for Sarah, an extra pen or pencil for Jill, a mini stick of Bradley’ favorite deodorant, hair clips for Brenna, and McKenna’s favorite bubblegum. 

-Riley calls her Eds. She hates it because it sounds like a boy name. She hates it even more when Riley calls her Eddie. 

-kisses tears away. Crying? She will kiss your cheeks and wipe those tears away. She did that when Brenna got cut by Bowers. 

-inhaler? Yes. It’s her little beacon of safety. 

-ice cream and comic books with Riley, bird watching and flower crowns with Sarah are her favorites! 

-doesn’t know her sexual preference, she’s just not straight. 

-butterflies always land on her when she’s outside. One landed on her nose once and Riley and Sarah started rock-paper-scissoring for who got her. (That was long forgotten since Riley is a sore loser.)

-my baby has long hair is very slight waves. It goes down to her breasts. 

-likes to wear Jill’s Flannels. 

-OK SHE IS SO CUTE IN A PAIR OF BAGGY JEANS AND A TANK TOP, WEARING SOMEONE’S JACKET OMG

-Edith is cold? Never. She always has someone’s something, whether it’s McKenna’s iconic leather jacket or Jill’s flannels

................................................................................................................................

Ok! Those are my headcanons. Feel free to repost, I don’t give a damn. If you want drawings or more headcanons of them, I am always open. I had this posted on my old account but that got taken down....I was previously coffeeandweasleys

@im-a-rocketman​, @nate-isnt-great​ @imreddieimreddieimreddie​ @ur-not-reddie​

[haworthiaace]

Magic Misfits AU

Ok so basically we made an au based off of the fact that Scar kept calling his village the village for magical misfits. Scar finds out that he somehow ended up on a server for magical misfits, and now he’s created a sort of safe haven within the server, so naturally they flock to it. Some hermits don’t surprise him, the ones that don’t really bother making an effort to hide their magic, or the ones who can’t hide it. But some hermits deeply confuse him. Chaos ensues. 

TLDR Scar becomes a magical therapist for the hermits

Scar is a wizard, he doesn’t really specialize in anything besides his crystals, which is why he’s able to help with a variety of magical issues. He ends up becoming the one entrusted with everyone’s secrets and problems, which makes him Stressed, but he enjoys helping his friends.

Both Xisuma and Evil Xisuma are shapeshifters, with the ability to change their appearance, but not their size. X keeps his appearance hidden from the hermits, which of course inspires wild theories ranging from eldritch abomination to biblical angels, but X won’t reveal if any theories are true. The only ones that know are Hypno (explained later) and Scar. Scar found out when Xisuma showed up hurt at his doorstep, without enough energy to keep another form. Scar was sworn to secrecy afterwards, and he deeply enjoys listening to other hermits pester him for answers. X actually just looks startlingly average, to the point that he’s unwilling to reveal himself solely because people expect him to be something a little more intimidating, and especially now with the ridiculous rumours the hermits have started.

EX doesn’t hide his true form (which is identical to X’s), but of course the hermits don’t believe him, thinking that it’s just another disguise, and EX won’t confirm or deny because he thinks it makes them more afraid of him. (It doesn’t) He’ll also frequently try to impersonate hermits to destroy the server from the inside out, but he is a terrible actor (so is X) and rarely gets far in his plans.

Mumbo and Grian are fairies, but they’re originally from different communities (courts? I really don’t know much about fairies) so they don’t know the other is a fairy until Grian’s hermit challenges initiation. They can shrink into a smaller form that has wings, but it takes quite a bit of effort to switch between forms. (also fun fact: if mumbo is a fairy that means hermit challenges is a magically binding contract)

Iskall is just. Completely human. His prosthetic eye is powered by magic, (and maintained by Scar!) but other than that he’s just a dude. However, he has very strange things happen to him all the time because he’s befriended not one, but two fairies, and he hasn’t noticed either one. He finds that he often has abnormally good luck, and his lost objects will mysteriously turn up as soon as he complains to his best friends about it. He asks Scar if he knows anything, but Scar, not wanting to break Mumbo or Grian’s trust, has to play dumb while also helping Iskall with his ‘problem’.

Now this might come as a shock but. Ren is a werewolf. It may not be unique but it is fitting. One full moon near the beginning of season 7, Ren showed up at the village around sunset, and frantically insisted that Scar let him stay the night in an unoccupied house. So Scar let him stay, and the next morning Ren explained his Situation. So now Scar helps Ren be as comfortable as possible on the night of his transformation and the day after they just chill together.

Stress has her potion brewery, and she’s the first one on the list to fall into the category of Not Having Frequent Magical Emergencies; she just goes to the village to hang out because hey why not? It’s cozy, plus Scar helps her brainstorm potion recipes over cookies and hot chocolate. Scar comes to her often needing a potion (usually of the healing variety) because someone Fucked Up.

Tango is also human, but at some point he was cursed, and his vision started to literally turn red until it was all he could see. The curse was halted thanks to Zed and Impulse, but the red eyes still remain. (Though thankfully his vision returned) They aren’t sure what the curse would have done if it wasn’t stopped, and they’d be happy to never find out.

Zed is an elf, and while he does have a little bit of magic, it wasn’t enough to stop whatever was afflicting Tango, so he turned to more demonic methods. When Tango’s sight got really bad, he summoned a demon (Impulse) and offered his soul in exchange for a cure to the curse. Impulse did the best he could, restoring Tango’s vision but leaving the red eyes, and then left with his price. Zed’s health slowly started declining: he had basically no energy or life due to the separation from his soul. So Tango summoned Impulse back and asked for Zed’s soul back, but it couldn’t be returned without reversing the deal, and Zed wasn’t willing to do that. So Tango ‘asked’ Impulse to stay with them for a while so Tango could convince Zed to back out of the deal. It turns out that being near his soul (kept by Impulse) returned Zed’s energy, and Impulse decided he liked these two so they became a trio, and joined hermitcraft soon after.

Quite often 2 members of team ZIT will wake up Scar in the middle of the night because they accidentally did something to the missing member (banished Impulse, sent Tango to the shadow realm, etc.) and they don’t know what to do. Scar has a ZIT protocol. It’s used far too often. They also constantly try to figure out what the more human looking hermits are. They do not often succeed.

At night, Bdubs turns into a sleep paralysis demon looking creature, and he (unwillingly) curses people to sleep for a completely random amount of time. After an Incident with Wels in season 6, (that’s the reason for his ‘nap’) he makes sure to sleep as early as possible every night. He thankfully isn’t affected by this while in the End or Nether.

Alright lads here’s the angsty one. Beef has the midas touch, meaning everything he touches turns to gold. It works much slower on living creatures than on inanimate objects, but it still works on living things so that’s Not Good. He makes sure to wear special enchanted gloves that block his curse while wearing them. At some point he goes to Scar in a panic because he accidentally touched Etho with his bare hands, (Etho handles this surprisingly well) and Scar helps him fix Etho. (It’s minecraft rules. They just cut his arm off and it comes back.) After that they put a curse of binding enchantment on Beef’s gloves.

Cleo is still a zombie, and she sometimes gets Scar to help her with Zombie Problems when Joe isn’t available. The first time she showed up outside Larry with her (severed) arm held in one hand Scar nearly jumped out of his robes, but he’s pretty used to it by now and will just go inside to grab a needle and thread.

Joe certainly is something! Nobody is quite sure, even Scar. All Scar knows is that Joe knows way too much about everything, and yet he keeps asking Scar to help him translate Galactic. (Joe is secretly trying to teach Scar the language because he feels that it’s important for magic users to know, especially ones so versatile like Scar) Joe is some kind of oracle who receives visions of the past, present, and future, which is why he knows so much, and he’s also at least dabbled in almost every kind of magic there is. He’s a bit of a cryptid.

The local mad scientist is Cub, who does all sorts of weird experiments, and makes inventions that combine magic and technology in disturbing yet wonderful ways. He also got cursed by his pyramid, so now he has comically bad luck. It doesn’t usually cause any serious harm, just shenanigans. He of course embraces this and finds it funny as hell.

On top of Doc’s regular strangeness, (creeper hybrid, cyborg, goat whisperer?) he also for some reason attracts a frankly unreasonable amount of kitsunes. Nobody knows why, but he can be seen in the shopping district being trailed by no less than two foxes with varying amounts of tails. It’s really very cute, and the mystery of it infuriates the more investigative hermits. (Cub and team ZIT mostly)

Etho is a demigod, although nobody knows what god he’s descended from. (including Etho) He has the fun ability to grant others’ wishes, but because of his personality he chooses to twist these wishes and turn them into fun little pranks that technically give the person what they want, but not without annoying them first. He also doesn’t reveal this ability to the others, leaving them even more confused whenever he uses it, which isn’t often because it does drain him quite a bit.

False, being the badass she is, is a valkyrie. She towers over most of the hermits, and between her height, wings, and blazing sword she’s quite intimidating. Despite this, she’s still very sweet, and would never seriously hurt her friends on purpose, but enemies are a whole different story.

Hypno at first seems totally human, but he actually comes from a world full of magic, each person having their own individual ability. Hypno’s ability is to absorb/ cancel out magic, which means that no magic can affect him, and he can also choose to stop any magic by touching the target of the magic. This got him exiled from his world, but he found a new family in the hermits. Because he isn’t affected by magic, he can see through Xisuma’s disguise, but he just assumes that he sees the same thing as everyone else. He hangs out with Beef when he needs comfort because he knows Beef can’t accidentally hurt him.

Jevin is,, slime. Not a minecraft slime, he’s just a pile of sentient slime held together by magic. (Necromancy? probably) Hypno likes to mess with him by touching small parts of him and disrupting the magic so a chunk of his arm falls off. Scar then has to fix it, but it’s still funny.

Keralis has the power of hypnotizing people by looking into his eyes. (Nothing but his eyes) He of course uses this power for mischief, although nothing actually bad. Usually uses it to ‘convince’ people to buy a book or seven. He also sometimes does it on accident, in which case he drops them off at Scar’s until they snap out of it. Team ZIT keeps asking him to hypnotize X so he’ll reveal his true form, but Keralis doesn’t want to force him to reveal that, plus he finds their attempts at figuring it out entertaining.

XB is an unfortunately forgetful selkie, and most of his visits to Scar are because he lost his coat in one of his shulker boxes again. On one memorable occasion he arrived in a panic after losing his coat again, and Scar had to spend about 5 minutes trying to suppress his laughter enough to tell XB that it was on him.

TFC doesn’t have magical crises, much to Scar’s relief. He’s just a humble earthbender living in the mines, occasionally coming out to the village to ask Scar for a crystal to help his back pain, or to give the poor man an afternoon of peace. In fact, Scar turns the tables by asking TFC for magical help with terraforming, which he’s glad to offer in exchange for all that Scar does for everyone.

Wels is a bard, which makes his sea shanties even more powerful than they already are. When Hermitgang came out, a hole was blown in the G team base, much to the surprise of everyone inside at that moment. Hels is also a bard, but he prefers rock music over sea shanties. Diabolical was an actual magical duel, and it probably looked sick as hell.

Bonus: Jellie is secretly a powerful eldritch being, and is the only one with magic that can affect Hypno. It’s a good thing she’s interested in getting pets and treats rather than destroying the server, because she probably could. She casually hops between worlds whenever Scar isn’t around, going on delightful little adventures. Scar takes quite a while to figure this out, and loses his shit when he does. When she got struck by lightning, she just turned up totally fine the next day and Scar didn’t question it too much.

I’d like to thank the discord for helping with ideas, ya’ll are so creative and i appreciate you all <3 ( @skywillsometimeswrite @bigbadantianti @justletmeplayminecraft @badtimeswithscar @aceacebaby12345 @litabattoir @icewolfstar @burntmagicc @dicerxll @dioritegang @cut-the-string @anntonka @shadeswift99

[harrysgoldenline]

Can’t Help but Love Him - Part 2

Hi!!! I’m so glad you all liked the first part of this story! Here is the second :) Sorry if it’s kinda messy, I didn’t fully proof read because I just really really wanted to get it out to you guys! Let me know what you think! <3

Part 1

Tags: @harriemelonsugar 

WORD COUNT: 4,235 

“How was staying at Harry’s last night?” Sarah teased once Y/N sat down across from her in the booth of the tiny cafe, “Did you guys cuddle?”

“Shut up.” Y/N groaned, rolling her eyes, “this whole getting over him thing is not working, the party should have made it easier but then he took me home instead of that girl, and to answer your question, no we didn’t. He slept on the couch.”

Sarah let out a long coo, causing Y/N’s cheeks to turn bright red covering her face with her hands, her friends hands coming across the table and playfully hitting them away, giggling as she sees Y/N’s rosy cheeks.

Sarah was the only person who knew about her crush on Harry, of course not on purpose. Sarah found it on her own, after seeing the two interact she thought that something was already happening between the two after closing observing their behavior when she came to visit Harry on tour. Sarah would always see the two laughing, Harry leaning into her ear and whispering different jokes and stories, as well as the two messing around on the stage together before and after the show.

Harry and Y/N met awhile back, running into each other in the studio back when Y/N was just starting her own career as a singer. She of course, then and now, still has not reached his level of fame, but she was currently in the works of planning her first solo world tour, something Harry has really helped with and supported, which she of course really appreciated, but she often felt guilty by. With his high profile reputation, just going out with Sarah can cause headlines and she never wants any of them to feel like she is using them for her own benefit, which leads them to this moment of going to small hole in the wall places. Y/N, also like Harry, preferred to be more private, working around personal interview questions and posting any kind of photos having to do relationships.  

“You two are the cutest.” Sarah giggles, both of them thanking the waitress as she comes by and drops off their drinks and takes their orders, “Seriously though, I wouldn’t worry about that girl from the party. It was random and like you said, he took you home and took care of you. Clearly cares about you a lot more.”

“He just felt guilty” Y/N laughed, “that girl literally dragged him away right in front of me and he ignored me all night until Nick showed up.”

“Oh yeah! He was so cute!” Sarah exclaimed, the thought also being a forgotten memory from that blurry night of too many drinks, “like really, REALLY cute. Mitch said you guys exchanged numbers, have you texted him?”

“No, I’m so embarrassed.” Y/N grumbled, covering her face with her hands again, “he came up to me because he saw me sitting alone, blankly staring at Harry as that girl was practically on top of him, he profanely just felt bad for me.”

“Oh stop.” Sarah demanded, slapping her friends wrist, “why are so convinced that no guy could actually like you? You’re hot, you’re sweet, you’re talented, you’re the whole package!”

Y/N shakes her head, staring down at her drink, swirling the straw around her cup, watching the ice spin, “I just… I don’t know. I mean… Nobody’s ever liked me before.”

“Oh c’mon, that’s not true.”

“It is, Sarah…” She softly admitted, shyly looking up at her older friend, her fingers still stirring the ice with her straw, “I’ve never been in a relationship, like ever.”

“What? But what about Be-“

“Nope… nothing happened… just can this stay between us? It’s so embarrassing.”

“That is nothing to be embarrassed about, sweetheart.” She frowned, reaching across the table and squeezing her friends hand, “And yes of course! Does Harry not know? I thought you told each other everything?”

“He doesn’t know this and the… more obvious secret.”

“Of course, but please don’t feel bad about this how about you and I-“ Sarah explains, stopping once her phone goes off, pulling out and talking a bit before putting back and her purse and smirking at her, leaning closer to her friend, “Let’s text Nick.”

***

“Fuck, that was really good. Can we run that again?” Harry asks, standing in the middle of the studio with Mitch, whom he gets a chuckle and a nod from, starting the new song from scratch.  

The sounds of Mitch’s guitar fills the room, Harry closing his eyes as he drums away on his lap, humming a tune to himself, scribbling some words messily onto the notepad in front of him.

The two have been working on a new song, Harry calling him to get over to the studio as soon as possible after Harry had a sudden spark of inspiration, so for the past few hours they have been working on that.

“I’m hoping they go just as crazy for this one as they did for Medicine.” He smirks, loving how crazy he can make his fans go. He knows just how to mess with them, loving to rile them up by preforming unreleased songs.

“Based on these lyrics” Mitch chuckled, looking over the explicit lyrics and setting the instrument next to him and slowly rising, going to the mini fridge in the studio, “They’re gonna lose their minds.”

Harry arrogantly smirks, catching the water bottle Mitch throws at him and giving him a quick thank you, taking a quick drink before scribbling more on the paper, crossing things out, drawing arrows, trying to make his vision clear as it all comes together. When Harry starts writing, all he can think about is writing and hardly anything can pull him out of his trance as he transforms himself into a new word. So much that Harry didn’t even his phone ring, Mitch watching comically as it rang out, neither of them reaching for it and the mystery person being eventually being sent to voicemail as Harry never sets down his pen, his other hand rubbing at his bottom lip and pinching it together as he sat in focus.

So focused in fact, he doesn’t notice the phone ringing again, only after a few brief moments of silence. Harry still scribbles away, pulling back and rubbing at his temple as his eyes scan the contexts of his paper and Mitch things he notices the ring as he looks away and to the side, only to grab the water and take a quick drink, scribbling away for a few more moments, the phone going back off as the mystery person is sent to voicemail, causing Mitch to let out a laugh.

“Wha’ you laughing at me for?” Harry chuckled, throwing one of his pencils at Mitch who quickly swats it away.

“Your phone rang twice, Rockstar. Didn’t even flinch. Whose calling you up?” Mitch taunted, trying to peak over at the screen and see the name, “Is it that girl from last night? Mallory?”

Harry looks over at his phone, clicking the side button and the screen light up and he reads the name, “Yes, actually.” He nods, raising the phone to his ear and listening to the voicemails she had left for him, hearing her request for the two to meet up tonight.

Mitch sits quietly, observing his friends behavior and he tries to carefully listen in to what the message the girl left behind. Mitch was also torn, of course wanting Harry to find the person of his dreams. Yet, he wanted Y/N to be with Harry. He didn’t know ‘officially’ about Y/N’s feelings for Harry, but he caught on quickly, not needing a word from her or Sarah… but he had listened in to some of their conversations when Y/N had come over to their place, thanking the stars he had never been caught, yet he sometimes (all the times), wishes he could be invited into girl talk… just once.

He watched as Harry takes the phone away from his ear and back down into his hands, typing away for a few moments before he set the phone back down, his focus going directly back to his pad of paper, a pen going between the man’s pink lips as he stares at the page blankly, his focus seeming to have evaporated and Mitch isn’t sure which of his friends that reaction is better for.

“What’s going on with you two?” Mitch asks, trying to act casual by picking up his guitar and strumming at random chords, “You two like a thing?”

“Hm? Oh, uh… Not sure, what we are right now.” He shrugs, “asked me if I wanted to get together tonight.”

“Well? Are you going to?”

“Just texted her if you and Sarah could come, make it a lil double date” He shrugged, making eye contact with Mitch as he sits across from them, “if you want of course, just casual. We could just hang out at my place.”

“Sounds fun, I can call Sarah right now. She’s with Y/N- You wanna ask if Y/N wants to come?” Mitch suggested, already digging through his phone and going to favorite contacts, ready to press on Sarah’s number.

“That would be really fun…” Harry nodded, scratching the back of his neck, “I just don’t want her to feel left out, ya know?”

“She could ask that Nick guy if he wants to come. She got his number, right? Before you swept her away from him back to your place.” Mitch teased, throwing his pencil back to him and hitting Harry square in the chest.

“She needed to get home, she drank too much, anymore and she would’ve been puking all night. I was just taking care of her.” He nonchalantly explained, “Needed to make sure she got home safe.”

“How’d Mallory feel about that? You two disappeared for a while.” Mitch smirked, raising his eyebrows at Harry, causing him to laugh, “What were you youngsters up to?

“Shut up.” Harry spoke, cheeks turning a bit red, “Don’t worry about it, can we finish up this last verse please?”

“Alright, alright.” Mitch laughed, “Let me call Sarah first and then we can, when should they come to your place?”

***

“Thanks again for coming, sorry it was kinda last minute.” Y/N started, smiling up at Nick as they both walked into Harry’s house, “And once again, I am so sorry about the other night. You made some really good drinks and I guess you I didn’t eat enough.”

“Don’t worry about, Y/N.” He laughed, his arm resting on her hip as they walked in the front door, “I have seen a lot worse, trust me. You’re not even a bad drunk, just a good dancer.”

“Oh god!” She giggled, covering her face with her hands, which he quickly pried away, “That is so embarrassing, I am so sorry you had to see that.”

“I enjoyed it.” He teased, “but to make it up to you… I will show you my dance moves tonight if you want me to.”

“Yes please!”

The pair laughed, entering the living room seeing the other couples sitting around laughing together. Sarah and Mitch sitting next to each other on the loveseat as Harry and Mallory sitting across from them on an armrest, Mallory wearing a tight black dress as she sat on Harry’s lap, an arm around his neck and making her feel extremely underdressed, even though she was the only one dressed for the occasion. Everyone else wearing a variation of jeans or joggers and different graphic tees and band shirts.

“Y/N!” Sarah smiled, seeing the pair walk in the room, kicking the couch next to her and signaling them to sit, “Hi Nick! What’s up guys?”

Harry looks up, squirming a bit in his seat and moving Mallory to the side and he quickly stands, walking over to his friend and pulling her into a tight hug, “Y/N, I’m so glad you could make it!” He smiles pulling back before looking over at Nick holding his hand out to him which Nick takes, “Nice to see you again Nick, thanks for coming, would you two like a drink?”

“Thanks for having me!” Nick smiles saying his hellos to the others, “and yeah that’d be great!”

Y/N agrees, both of them giving their orders to Harry and he nods, giving them their orders before he gives them a thumbs up, going back to the kitchen, “Can I have another, babe?” Mallory calls for him, “Same thing please!”

“Sure thing!” He calls out, and she smirks towards the kitchen, her plump, deep red bottom lip between her perfectly white teeth, “anyways, hi you two! We were just talking about Harry’s album and tour!”

Sarah hides behind Mitch’s back, making eye contact with Y/N and rolling her eyes before taking a long drink before turning back toward Mallory. Both her and Nick notice and they giggle to themselves, his arm going around her shoulder as they both relax into the couch, his other hand softly resting on her knee.

He leans into her, using his arm around her shoulder to pull her closer, “Was I supposed to dress black tie?” He chuckled softly into her ear, and she blushes playfully slapping his arm and gigging, her eyes widening after hearing a throat clear above her.

“Oh sorry.” Y/N blushed, “thank you for the drinks.” She added, looking up at Harry and giving him a soft smile, Nick also giving him a quick thank you.

He nods and smiles, walking back over and sliding back onto the armchair, Mallory crawling quickly back into his lap and pressing a kiss onto his cheek, arms going back around him as she continued to talk about Harry’s tour and all the places going to be, telling stories of some places that stuck out to her from previous modeling shoots.

He smiled and laughed along, nodding when she would turn to look at him, but then he would turn his attention back to Y/N, watching as he sat diagonally from him as she looked up at Nick laughing at a story he was telling her and he could almost see the star in her eyes, but he couldn’t help but feel the looks coming from across him. Sarah was staring deep at Y/N watching her friend and now being invited into the conversation with her and Nick. Mitch, although was staring at Harry, pretending also to listen to the conversation as he gave Harry a weird look, trying to read his friends mind.

“So, Nick! Tell us about yourself!” Harry explained the second Mallory paused, his eyes glued on Nicks hand who he swore was an inch or two higher on her leg then it was now, “You bartend right?”

“Yep!” Nick smiles, “Bartender at night and an actor during the day, mainly doing commercials and smaller TV roles right now, nothing as exciting as a world tour.”

He adds, subtly making fun of Mallory causing everyone to let out a laugh, except for Mallory who she thought was praising her and Harry, and Harry who also didn’t laugh, trying more to analyze his every word.

“No, that is exciting!” Sarah encourages, wanting the new man of the group to feel more comfortable, especially after noticing Harry’s intense stare, “Really cool actually, I think acting is so cool, you get to be so many people! Do you have a favorite kind of role?

She looked up at him as he explained, a smile covering her face and her heart skips a beat, a feeling she hasn’t felt in a while with someone other than Harry and she looks down at her lap, biting her lip and trying to hold back her smile as she sees his hand on her thigh. She slowly looks up, being met with Sarah’s wide smirk and wiggling eyebrows and Y/N rolls her eyes back at her before continuing to listen to Nick explain.

Conversation goes on from there, bouncing from person to person as each start sharing different stories and experiences that they’ve all gained throughout knowing each other, trying to get Mallory and Nick more familiar with their dates friends.

“Harry, baby, can you help me get another drink please?” Mallory smiles, batting her eyelashes up at him, thumb running over his cheek.

“Sure thing, let’s go.” Harry nodded, soon standing and she quickly grabs his hand, intertwining their fingers and giggling as she begins dragging him through the door and into the kitchen.  

The pair soon disappear and the remaining four all release a sigh of relief, the room feeling much more light now and the four begin a much more casual conversation, feeling much more comfortable as they start telling funny stories and jokes, being able to poke fun at one another, soon turning up the music in the room as they all begin messing around.

“Can I see those dance moves now?” Y/N smirked as they both stood up, downing their drinks and giggling, “please please?”

“I guess.” He chuckled, hands falling on her hips before moving a hair out of her face, “Just because you’re cute.”

Her face turned bright red, heart rate picking up as he leaned in a bit, winking before pulling back pressing a kiss in her cheek before jumping backwards and suddenly dancing wildly. Y/N, Sarah and Mitch all laughed, watching the man jump around and do a very over dramatic air guitar, Mitch jumping in and doing the same.

“C’mere!” Nick shouted over the loud music, reaching out his hand and quickly grabbing Y/N’s quickly spinning her into him and rocking them back and forth before spinning out again, “Don’t worry, I know I’m very advanced, just follow my lead.” He joked, doing childlike dance moves as he finished the last drink of his beer.

“You want another? I’m out too, I’ll grab us both another and then you can teach me some moves.” She giggled, grabbing her empty cup along with is bottle, “Be right back.”

“You sure Harry won’t mind? Feel bad taking all of his alcohol.”

“He’ll be fine.” She giggled, “Be right back.”

She blushed as she flashed him a smile, turning back and giggling as she watches Mitch and Sarah start copying his moves, her heartwarming at the idea of the four of them hanging out again. She forces herself to turn away, and ignore her heartbeat picking up speed as she wonders where this night will all take her with Nick, especially considering they’ve only known each other a couple of days at this point but she really thinks she’s starting to really like him.

She smiles to herself, looking at the floor as she pushes the door into the kitchen, opening a garage door and recycling Nicks bottle before going back to the bar area, taking her cup with her to refill. She quickly pushes the door open, turning up the dimmed lights and squinting as her eyes adjust, not expecting her heart having to.

She lets out a gasp, seeing before her Harry sitting on the couch in lounge, Mallory straddling him as she can practically see her tongue going down his throat as she grinded her hips into him, her dress seeming to ride up farther, before both of them adjust to the light. The pair jumps, Mallory quickly trying to fix her hair before sending an innocent, yet devious smile towards Y/N as Harry clears his throat, sliding the model off his lap.

“I-I’m sorry I didn’t mean to, um I didn’t know you guys were-“ Y/N stuttered, both her heart and mind going a million miles a minute, “I didn’t mean to intrude, I was just t-trying to get Nick and I another drink.”

“It’s okay, sweetheart!” Mallory smiled at her, “Would you mind making me a rum and coke?”

“Sure” Y/N replies, scurrying off to the bar behind them, letting out a quiet shaky breath that thankfully was drowned out by the sound of Mallory telling Harry another story.

Y/N tried to ignore, staring at the back of her head and making awkward eye contact with Harry as he kept staring back at her, the uncomfortable tension filling the air that only 2 out of the 3 people in the room could feel.

That’s when she hears Harry stop her, asking if they could rejoin the party outside as he was going to help make more drinks, feeling bad that they left everyone. She lets out a whine before agreeing, giving him another hard, long kiss, making Y/N grimace and force her eyes away, looking down at the drink she was making herself causing nausea to fill her.  She soon hears Mallory’s heels click away and soon she felt the strong presence beside her, Harry standing shyly off to the side as he watches Y/N grab another beer and a can of coke.

“Here let me.” He muttered, taking the coke from her hand causing they’re fingers to brush, making the drink for Mallory himself, “I’m sorry, Y/N, I didn’t mean to um... sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize for kissing your girlfriend.” Y/N deadpans, avoiding eye contact focusing on making a drink for Sarah she knows she will want, “I’m sorry I walked in, I figured you went upstairs.”

“Are we still on for tomorrow?” He softly asks, referring to the studio session they’ve had planned together.

Y/N and Harry have always loved writing and recording together. Of course, they’ve never released a song together, but they have always found a great deal of comfort of having the other person there when recording on a new project, especially Y/N. She felt like Harry had been there for her throughout so much of her career, helping her record, write, with interviews, red carpets, everything. Harry taught her everything she needed to know, he was the one that helped her learn how to come into her sound and truly become the artist she has always dreamed she would be.

“I don’t know…” She started, trying hard to think of an excuse, “I might go see that new movie with Nick.”

“Are you serious?” Harry bitterly chuckles, “You’ve known me for how long and you’re just going to ditch me for this random guy you hardly know?’

“That’s awfully rich coming from you, Harry.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Y/N slammed down the cup, a few drops spilling on the counter and she finally looked up at him. She could feel her hands shaking and she clenched her jaw tight, squeezing her eyes shut to hold back from releasing too much emotion.

“I came here to New York on my time off to hang out with you and the first thing you do is-“ She started; each word spoken more bitterly then before.

“You love New York.” He interrupts, his face softening, “I thought you would want to come and explore with me like we used to me.”

“Let me finish!” She desperately cries out, “Please… And the first thing you do is talk to me for 5 minutes before you literally let her drag you away from me. I met Nick because I was sitting all alone at that party, if it wasn’t for him, I would’ve been alone all night. So, don’t talk to me about ditching a friend.”

“Y/N, please. I’m sorry-“

“I think I’m going to go home.” She whispers, setting the drinks down on the counter and sniffling a bit, forcing herself to keep it together as he was still around.

Harry quickly stops her, grabbing her arm and turning her to look back at him, “Y/N please, I am so sorry. I just got so caught up in the moment and the party… Please, how can I make it up to you? Do you want me to tell everyone to leave? We can order a pizza and I got Disney Plus because I knew you would want to watch it… It can be just us if you want.”

All she wanted to do was say yes.

In her wildest dreams she would on him, pressing kisses all over his face and tell Mallory to leave, tell Nick she’s sorry and tell Sarah how much she really, really likes Harry and how excited she was to spend the night with just him. Just the two of them.

But she couldn’t.

If this did happen, he would tell everyone to go, making her feel guilty. Then they would stay up just the two of them and she knows, although nothing was going to happen between the two of them, that she would cherish every single moment and think about it as she lays awake at night. How she would call Sarah the next day and tell her everything, and then they could go to the studio together and write a beautiful song.

But all of these things will only get her worse. She would only fall in love with him more, ruining her for any kind of future relationship will come her way. She knew Harry was just being friendly, not asking her to stay because he was interested, but because he felt guilty for what he did and since he was such a people pleaser, there was no way he wouldn’t offer.

So, she knows what she has to do.

“Goodnight, Harry.”

[radramblog]

Frog Pokémon ranked

Froggos are easily among the top tier of animals, and so surely the Pokémon based on them are going to be largely good, right?

Well, at least some of them are?

Despite a lot of my opinions differing between evolutionary stages in a family, I’m going to keep them all together for simplicity’s sake. With that in mind,

The Frogs

5. Froakie/Frogadier/Greninja

Easily the most comically overrated set of Pokémon in the franchise, even over Charizard if you ask me. Of course, I actually like Charizard, so that opinion probably isn’t surprising.

The amount of love this line gets both from the fanbase and franchise is kind of gross. Froakie is a weak design, with the way those giant eyes bulge out of its head and the blank expression not really working with the theme. Greninja, aside from being vaguely generic, is kind of disgusting- that “scarf” is its tongue btw- and it being stupid good in competitive doesn’t help the way me, a hipster, feels about it.

It’s not all bad though. I actually do like Frogadier’s design, and while I’m loathe to admit it Greninja is fun to play in Smash.

(sidebar, I’m currently doing a nuzlocke where I started with this line, and it’s the first time ive ever actually used it, and boy does its natural learnset suck)

(second sidebar, i still can’t believe that Ash-Greninja is a real thing that actually exists. they did that! they made that a thing! you can play with it! why???) 

4. Tympole/Palpitoad/Seismitoad

It’s pretty clear that the design of these is going for that “ugly cute” look, and I don’t really think it works. They’re not the ugliest mons around (hi ambipom) but the vibe doesn’t really work. Speaking of Vibes though, the animation Palpitoad and Seismitoad have in their debut generation where they vibrate their heads is pretty fun, but unfortunately it wasn’t carried over into the 3D era where they look completely godawful.

It probably doesn’t help that they were the 4th iteration of the Water/Ground line in just as many generations, a series containing fan favourites Wooper and Mudkip and the criminally underrated Gastrodon.

(tympole is fuckin cute tho to be fair)

3. Croagunk/Toxicroak

The ace Pokemon of the Team Galactic Admin everyone forgets about. I actually do quite like Croagunk and Toxicroak. The only things on this list that aren’t Water type, which is nice, the pair pull off the “frog ninja” much more interestingly than Greninja. They have a unique typing in Poison/Fighting, solid stats, and Croagunk does have a fairly memorable bit in the anime (constantly sending Brock to horny jail, in the form of poison-induced unconsciousness).

The main reason they aren’t higher, though, is that I swear I have a curse where every single time I get one of these it ends up being complete garbage. I’ve never had a good one! Ever. So there’s a bit of a grudge there.

 2. Poliwag/Poliwhirl/Poliwrath/Politoed

Fun fact, Poliwhirl is series’ creator Satoshi Tajiri’s favourite Pokemon, hence why Red in Pokemon Adventures has it as his first partner. Poliwag and Poliwhirl are extremely baby, with simple designs that use their origin (glass frogs, whom you can see the intestines of through their translucent skin) and take it one step further (since the pattern looks like a spiral, they get to do hypnosis things!). Politoed is both extremely cute and extremely good, being one of the better users of the extremely rare Drizzle ability, making it a defining feature of several generations of competitive.

Also, Poliwrath is there. Hi Poliwrath! Why are you literally just buff Poliwhirl? At least it had a unique type combination for a while. Actually, it’s still just Poliwrath and a couple legendaries that are Water/Fighting, and those two can get fucked, so.

 1. Bulbasaur/Ivysaur/Venusaur

Yes, they’re clearly frogs. Have you seen Venusaur’s squat? Unquestionably froggish.

Bulbasaur is the best boi, they’re number 1 in the Pokedex and in a lot of people’s hearts. Ivysaur takes one of the better “awkward middle stage” steps by being just a bigger version of the base, with some slight changes but still being rather cute. And Venusaur is a big friendly chungus who’s been incredible recently in VGC seriously I can’t stop running Venusaur teams it’s becoming a problem.

Bulbasaur is not my favourite of the Kanto starters (#SquirtleSquad), but it’s a pretty close race, and turtles are also extremely good animals so its probably fine. I will say that Venusaur’s art often does not do it justice, but I’d also argue that the high quality of its Mega and Gmax forms makes up for that.

[bazypitchandsimonsnow]

Fic Writer Interview!

Thank you to the amazing @carryonsimoncarryonbaz and @bazzybelle for tagging me, you peeps are awesome!

Name: Theo [ridiculously Irish last name]

Fandoms: Carry On, obviously haha. Rn I’m very invested in MDZS/The Untamed, been reading fics nonstop! In general, I like Raven Cycle, Red, White and Royal Blue, DC comics, Locke & Key, and A LOT of web comics. Seriously, it’s a comical amount.

Where you post: Here on the Hellsite and on AO3. I used to post on FF but I stopped using that account a long time ago. The web design is garbage and the small text made my eyes hurt. No thank you!

Most popular one-shot: To my legit surprise, it’s “Love, Snow”! It’s not that this fic is bad, I actually really like it, but I though it would be “Just a Friend Date” or the Watford Cove sequel. Love, Snow was a weird af idea I had that I didn’t expect to get attention, but apparently people like it! So yay!

Most popular multi-chapter: Oh, definitely “Straight Boy.” I was also kinda surprised by how popular that one ended up being. I legit wrote it on a whim cause I thought a reddit post was funny, and in my self critical opinion, it’s not that well written, but people really liked it so yay again!

Fic you were nervous to post: Every. Single. One. I shit you not, I go through multiple rounds of anxiety before I post anything. Then afterwards I’m filled with even MORE anxiety and constantly read fics over to make sure I don’t have huge spelling/grammatical errors. I’m happy to put my work out there but it is def very nerve wracking every time.

How do you choose your titles: Usually I just think of them or I use song lyrics. If I’m completely stumped, I usually ask @carryonmylovelies for help, and she always has great ideas. (Btw none of my writing would exist without her. She usually gives me at least one suggestion for all my stories. There’s a reason I thank her in almost every fic.lol)

Do you outline: Hahahahaha fuck no! I’m a chaotic probably ADHD mess, I don’t have the patience for outlines. I do have a sort of vague idea when I start out, and I usually rant about it/run it by @carryonmylovelies before I actually write it. The middle is usually the most vague and I figure that out as I go then edit it later. It can take longer but if I write it out of order I rarely finish it.

Do you take prompts: I used to do a lot of prompts! Early followers might remember me doing an insane number of requests over the summer. The majority of my fics are from requests. However, as my health has declined, I’ve had to stop taking any prompts and sadly give up on the ones I had left. TL;DR I had two nervous breakdowns in less than a year and went on psychiatric meds. (Been on them for over a year now, I’m okay, dw.) Good part: I’m not in a constant state of crippling anxiety anymore! Bad part: I don’t have the insane energy I used to. Add that to my chronic migraines getting worse, and I can’t think of ideas or churn out fics as quickly as before, which makes prompts too stressful. Now I just do what I want when I can, which means my stuff isn’t as popular anymore as I don’t post very often. It’s a bit of ego stomp lol but imo it’s better for my health to take things slow. Huge apology to all the people whose prompts I never did btw, I’m really really sorry! Unfortunately my shitty body will not cooperate anymore. I hope you’ll still want to read anything else I put out in the future!

Complete: All my Carry On fics are complete. I write the entire thing in advance because I’m a perfectionist when it comes to continuity and plot. Spelling, grammar, and punctuation tho? Not so much lol

In progress: Rn I’m seriously working on an AU based on the old crime drama show “Medium.” Essentially you’ve got Simon, a slightly short fused psychic who ends up having to deal with problems, both from the living and the dead. And you’ve got Baz, his intelligent, fascinated, supportive but more practical normal bf who sometimes helps with psychic shit. Hijinks ensue!

Idk who to tag but here are the people I can think of off the top of my head!

@carryonmylovelies @the-lincyclopedia @annabellelux @vkelleyart @basic-banshee (sorry sorry my brain is fried I can’t think of anyone else! if you wanna do it, then do it!)

[popculturebuffet]

Top 10 Regular Show Episodes

Close Enough is Close! 2 more days and a show i’ve waited without hyperbole years for will finally land offically. While i’ve seen three episodes preelease, one because of a french film festival the other two because HBO made an oopsie, and it’s more than likely i’ll be seeing those episodes again thursday, it dosen’t make it any less special, as with an offical release comes the fandom finally becoming a thing and the ablility to watch the episodes over and over again.. on computer till HBO gets it’s shit together but still. IT’s a great time.  And my hype for the show made me revisit it’s big brother: Regular Show. Created by what would happen if you condesned california into a person, JG Quintel, Regular Show, as you all damn well know but I like doing anyway so as rigby would say, STOP TALKING, was about two slackers and best bros: Laidback hipster and hurricane when it came to talking to women, Mordecai and Rigby a high strung, idiotic, impulsive, and frequently angry racoon who worked, when they absolutley had to, at a park. Joining them at the park were their coworkers and later closest friends: Benson, their constnatly angry boss who constnatly belts out empty threats to fire them and has a rather sad personal life, Skips, a centuries old yeti whose literally seen it all and despenses advice for the duo and is voiced by everyone’s faviorite grandpa/jedi/murder clown Mark Hamill, Muscle Man, a grotesque blob of a man who likes  “My mom” jokes and breaking things, Hi Five Ghost, Muscle Man’s sidekick who got like.. one episode focusing on him alone over 8 seasons moving on, and Pops, an odd but unfailingly sweet and kind vicotrian era gentleman whose also basically immortal and is Bensons’ boss in name only.  The Park Crew spend their days working, or in our main duo’s case trying to get out of work to do anything else,  while dealing with every day issues that would quickly ballon into insanity. Getting pops a birthday present of Fuzzy Dice from a local pizza place ended up with the crew having to fight a bunch of anamatonic animals that were stashing diamonds in there. Trying to get concert tickets involved getting caffine from the nipples of a giant sentient coffee bean in order to stay awake long enough to do the extra work. And Mordecai trying to delete an embrarassing message off his crush Margret’s voice mail lead to him and rigby getting hauled in front of a bunch of a message guardians, one of which is a sentient smoke signal that wanted to burn them while the other replied with “we’ree not going to burn them when have we ever burned anybody”... I love and miss those guys. Oh and it’s resolved by having to playt he embarassing song he sang while said message beings groove to it then ask him to colaberate with them on their album. THis show was on all the drugs and I am all the hear for it. I could go all day obviously but this section is long enough as is, let’s move on. 

Regular Show came at JUST the right time for Cartoon Netowork: Similar to how the 80s doom patrol comic started off really bland and cookie cutter and not at all doom patrol and then grant morrison came in, had hte previous writer kill almost everything, then rebuilt it from scratch with crazy, CN had few shows left and was coming off a really terrible attempt at competeing with NIck and Disney Channel’s live action dommance with a bunch of dude broy reality shows and other ill conceved ideas. The network had a few shows, Total Drama, The Clone Wars which got better and I need to watch those better seasons at some point, but they weren’t enough to make the network thrive again.  SO enter adventure time and regular show: BOth were creative, funny , a bit rough around the ages, and kind of nuts, but both were massive hits: The shows hit almost every demographics sweet spots: Kids like the bright colors, fun designs, and insanity, teens loved the edgy bits of the humor and also the insanity and 20 somethings and older both found refrences they got and loved, and well.. insanity. I mean being fucking nuts but also wonderful is kind of the watchword for most animation nowadays. While in the past in my own head i’ve played down Regular Show’s part in things, after all it came second and had a rough patch I told myself.. but I was wrong. Both shows had a lot of the same elements; insane stuff, great voice acting and good humor especially as they evolved.. but both also evolved in largely the same way and that way helped change animation for the next decade: Both, despite being comeidies, regular show keeping to it a bit more than adventure time did as they evolved, had the characters grow, something a lot of animated comedies didn’t do as much ast the time, even the good ones. THey had season long arcs, things that are now standard features in most cartoons for good reason were MADE standard by these shows. It’s just regular show’s legacy got diluted by shows that TRIED to copy it but both failed to see that it grew past season one or that it’s being okay for kids but really based in adult life and problems meant copycats like fanboy and chum chum, sanjay and craig and breadwinners, all thankfully long dead, eventually sputtered out and died. That and Nick is REALLY shitty at maintaing shows or treating creators with anything resembling respect. Somehow Teen Titans Go is still alive despite having similar failings but you can’t win everything. It didn’t help gravity falls came along right after and proceded to be even more influentail than both of these shows. Hmmm I just realized I haven’t done any gravity falls reviews here.. I gotta get on that. But while the show got eclipsed in quality and popularity I do still think it holds up for the most part as funny, charming and with , for the most part, good character arcs, it’s just that a bit of incosntientcy, some abrubtly done actions and a REALLY fucking terrible arc in season 6 dull the show a bit in comparison to what came after, but I do realize now it’s still worht watching, remembering and laughing at. It may of not been the greatest, but damn it was good.  So with my nostaliga for the show popping up, my faith in it restored, and it’s sucessor showing up in a few days, I decided to do a little something for the ocassion. I WAS going to do a full on review, but had troulbe finding an episode as some of my faviorites are part of a larger arc that was hurt by a later arc, and the show ping ponged between slice of life and utter insanity enought hat it was hard to peg down to jus tone or two episodes. So while I WILL review the show eventually, it has both good and bad episodes needing it, I decided instead to dig out something I hadn’t done in far too long: a top whatver lists! Now while I do get these things are clickbaity, because they are, I.. honestly just love making them. Even if i’ts not for any specific purpose I just love ranking, the stress, even if I normally hate stress given my anxiety, of trying to narrow them down, and the satisfaction of taking a ton of episodes and melting htem down into the best of them. And with a show as long and varied as regular show, If igured this was the best way to show it off before I dived into it eventually. I’ll obviously be doing more top, and bottom lists in the future, but for now this seemd like a godo place to get back to it. As  Now a few more things before we finally get started. Yes I know i’ve gone on for a few years now but i’m almost done. This list is obviously, my opinon. If you disagree fine, and feel free to comment or shoot me an ask about it but I stand by my list and what I choose. I had to boil down over 60 episodes I picked to possibly  be on the list and even after it was down to 40 cuts were really difficult, .. Also just as a quick note there are no episodes from seasons 1, 6, 7 and 8, and that’s not on purpose, as the last two seasons are really good, it just fell out that way and i’m sorry about it. So with that out of the way grabs some sodas and wings, get out your maxi gloves, and bring out your best sentient earworms wearing sunglassses, after the cut I count down the top 10 Regular Show episodes. OOOOOOOOO!

10. I Like You, Hi (Season 5, Episode 26) As you’ll be able to tell by the rest of this list Season 5 is my faviorite, and it’s where I feel the series hit it’s peak before next season lead to it’s valley. It’s got a ton of great episodes, as this list will attest, some great character development, and was still really damn funny.  But what put it over the top for me was the Mordecai and CJ arc. At the end of the last season as you probably know the show wrote out Margret, having her finally get into college like she’d wanted since she got an actual character back in “Camping Be Cool” instead of just being “that hot girl mordecai really likes but is too scared to persue”, and another fantastic episode we’ll be getting to, Mordecai was in position to move on.  Re-Enter CJ. CJ was introduced earlier in the season 3 ep “Yes Dude Yes” which itself is really good, where Mordecai thought margret was engaged and with Rigby’s encouragment, ended up meeting CJ, stands for Cloudy Jay if your curious, a sentient cloud voiced by the wonderful LInda Cardenelli, aka wendy from gravity falls and currently co star of the equally wonderful show Dead to Me. Seriously go check it out on netflix, it’s really good. It naturally went pearshaped since Margret wasn’t engaged, he tried going out with both, she turned into a thunderstorm out of rage... as you do.. it’s like the season 6 plot but less infurating and more understandable.  But the two remeet, and had a kiss on new years while not knowing it’s the other person under am ask.. and then CJ ran and both thought the other was upset: MOrdecai for him being MOrdecai, and CJ for running out on him and agreed to be friends. That didn’t last, though it did give us another classic on this list, as while exes can be friends and all, the two still had something between them. Thus came this one. And it was a hard one as it barely inched out the finale of their relationship arc, Real Date, which had the ceo of a dating company try to break them up and be really damny funny but it’s ulitmatley this one being just as hilarious while being a great character piece that gets it the rub.  As the episode opens Mordecai and CJ have been spending a LOT of time together and i’ts clear there’s a spark there.. but Mordecai insists it’s platonic. And yes there is a bad habit of animation being unable to accept females and males who are into the oppistie sex can’t be friends without being attracted to each other. It’s being cleared up more lately, but as Star Vs showed it still happens sometimes. But it works here: The two STARTED with dating, made out on new years, and are attracted to each other it’s just clear both were in denial about it. It’s not saying “well they have chemstiry so fuck their partners’ like star vs or “if you loved someone once those feelings will return and destroy yoru current relationship” like next season.... season 6′s arc is a tirefire burn it.  But the issue is forced when, while texting about an extreme baking show together while CJ’s at her job at a sports bar, it autocrrects from Yuji, the show’s host, to you hi, sending the title message “I like you, hi”. Mordecai, being even less adept with his feelings and anxiety towards women than me and trust me that’s saying something, spirals and we do get the episodes best scene, narrowly beating out it’s climax, where Mordecai summons a war council.. aka the rest of the main cast minus benson but plus Thomas, the intern who I wish stuck around longer even after he turned out to be a russian spy because they ran out of ideas for him, voiced by Roger Craig Smith and distractingly using his future sonic voice. 

I just.. love everything about the scnee. From the term pulling a mordecai, to Rigby joining in, deservedly as he’s had front row seats for a lot of this bollocks, to everyone’s suggestions especially Muscle Man’s half assed one that somehow, but unsuprisngly, works for him and Starla.  Naturally Mordecai comes up with what Rigby HIMSELF admits is a Rigby level half assed scheme to get an actual photo with Yuji rather than just admit the truth. Yuji himself is an utter delight, having had his star not rise as fast as he’d like thanks to autocorrect and being entirely on board, and when it backfires as MOrdecai ends up autocorrected and sends the message thrice and gets sucked into the phone again, admits i’ts “pretty extreme’. I love the guy and i’m prety sure he showed up again, to my delight. 

In the phone Mordecai meets some old friends, the message guardians who I mentioned in the “insane shit this show has done” bit earlier: old forms of messaging who police texting, all voiced by Rich Fulcher of the Mighty Boosh and Snuffbox Fame. 

I love Rich and wish these guys could show up in close enough. Maybe they can, I don’t know how rights issues with turner properties work when it comes to two diffrent audiences entirely. Anyways what really makes the episode, besides the great callbacks in this scene, is when confronted with everything going on, Mordecai.. tries to run into the void, with Rigby, The Message Recorder and the Smoke Signal all encouraging him to come back. “There’s nothing out there for you, literally it’s just a blank void”. With the leading tape recorder pointing out from their text history not only how great CJ is but how much he seems to like her with Mordecai finally coming back and admitting the obvious: He does like her.. he’s just scared of beefing it again. Which he does but that’s not the point. Rigby, who as part of his character development helps Mordecai quite a bit with this stuff by being a neutral party, though he also likes CJ better than Margret which is a mood even though I don’t care which one you ship mordecai with frankly, you do you, I have my prefrences. And with that Mordecai finally texts her and asks her out, with her accepting via winky face.. with an added text to clarify it for his neuotic ass.. which is also a mood as my neuortic ass could use that a lot. Overall just a wonderful , hilarious and good bit of character growth.. that season 6 throws in the oven, but that’s a long rant for another day. On it’s own, “I LIke you, hi” is a good character piece for mordecai whlie still being really damn funny. 

9. Thanksgiving Special (Season 5, Episode 15)

Regular Show was really damn great at holliday specials. Their terror tales from the park every halloween were always a nice treat and a good replacement for Simpsons “Treehouse of Horror” which still exists, it’s just no one cares at this point, and their christmas and new years episodes are both really damn good, the first Christmas Episode being in contention for this list even. But to me the best of the best was easily Season 5′s  thanksgiving episode. 

The premise is simple: Mordecai and Rigby accidnetly destroy thanksgiving dinner, which the park crew is having for everyone and their famllies and, refusing to take Benson trying to dismiss their attempts to help fix their mistake, end up joining a songwriting contest to try and win a Turducken.. a natural one that’s born every 1000 Years because this is regular show. To do this they have to beat a parody of everyone’s least faviorite president Donald Trump, Rich Buckner.  The fact that trump was basically the main villian of a holliday special a year before he became president is not lost on me and  is one of the most accurate depections of the man i’ve ever seen. The fact Rich steals the prize despite our boys winning from his blimp with a grappling hook is peak trump. The fact Trump has’nt stolen more things with a grappling hook in real life is only because his hands are too small to use one. 

Getting past our president for my own sanity, the episode also has really great subplots: Muscle Man and Fives go to  a sports bar to get sides and end up pissing off a former football player and getting into a touchdown dance comppetition, sadly not set to the super bowl shuffle, while Benson, Pops and Skips go to get a turkey and end up fighting over it with men dressed up like a piligrim, a first thanksgiving era native american and a turkey, to which they don’t even really give an explination for.. granted most explinatoins on this show are insane but even by regular show standards, this gets none. And I love it for it.  While as you can tell the episode is really damn funny, what really sells it is the emotional core: For once while they do fear for their jobs a bit Mordecai and Rigby’s main motivation in this messup is genuine guilt and wanting to fix their mistake, and they work hard at it, even giving a genuine and awesome heartfelt song that notches itself up with other thanksgiving classics “That thankstiginv themed soul sketch on snl” and adam sandler’s turkey song also from snl. Not a high bar but it’s really good regardless

The episodes’ real strength though is it’s emotional core: For once instead of saving their own asses or understadnably wanting to get one over on the cranky and in the worse written episodes obnoxiously overbearing benson, they simply feel terrible about possibly runing the meal for their arriving parents and everyone elses parents and families and their friends and work to right the wrong. It’s not the first time they worked to do something genuinely good with no benefit to themselves, but it’s probably the best and Benson’s I forgive you, while hilarious is also really sweet. And speaking of sweet

It ends on a really sweet and touching note, as Mordecai and Rigby, after escaping a blimp via a wish on a golden wishbone because of course, make it home to find the various weirdos the park crew met have brought them thanksgiving, and their parents will be there and we get a nice touching ending as the main duo get a well earned toast from Benson. Just an out and out amazing thanksgiving special and a good reminder of what the holiday means.

8. Trucker Hall of Fame (Season 3, Episode 37)

Moving on from Season 5 for a second, Season 3 was where the show really started to hit it’s stride to me. While Season 2 was a nice increase in quality from the sometimes choppy and heavy on “everyone is an asshole” comedy season 1, Season 3 was where the increased focus on the rest of the cast outside of our main duo balloned and what seeds of character were planted in season 2 beautifully bloomed. And this episode is one of the best examples of that.  This one focuses on Muscle Man, who earlier on was basically the main duo’s rival alongside his buddy high five ghost, and kind of a dick. While “Kind of a dick” never left any discription of Mitch Sorenstein, this and previous episode muscle woman showed there was more to the goblin man than we thought. It’s also one of regular show’s few early mostly serious episodes and unlike the benson ones, again this list was tough don’t come at me with a machete, and realy showed why muscle man is the human tire fire he is. The episode introduces, and quickly kills off, muscle dad, mitch’s dad who gave him a love of pranks and was a truck driver who died as he live: mistaking a fake bear for a real one during a prank. Muscle Man being not the most stable person on a GOOD day, spirals, as seen above, and Benson tasks mordecai and rigby, since Fives isn’t good with death ironically and isn’t holding up much better, and as a much later episode shows the two became besties in high school so he probably knew muscle dad for a good ten years so he’s probably not in a great place either, nice stuff, to go with him to put his dad’s ashes in the trucker hall of fame.  What follows is a sweet and damn sad episode. While Mitch’s frequent breakkdowns can be hilarous their also really sad and having lost my grandpa since this episode aired, I can relate to being fine one minute and a total shrieking wreck the next over the smallest thing. But it also shows that Mitch genuinely thinks of our main duo as his friends, and that beneath his testorrone positned exterior he’s a decent guy, being genuinely greatful. Of course being regular show the 3 end up squaring off with some truckers, while Mitch also grappels with the revelation his dad wasn’t one but a forklift opperator who faked being a trucker for his son’s benifit and dleft a tender note in his picture, figuring correctly his son would break it open when he found out... oh and because this show is still nuts his ghost ends up saving them at the end which is really sweet , as mitch decides trucker or no his ashes deserve to be there. Also his ghost shows up again at thanksgiving so apparently he can just come back once in a while, which is nice but dosen’t demnish the bittersweet feeling of this ep. And as I said the show has a good grasp on continuity as this ep marked a turning point for our main duo and muscle man: while the’yve bonded before after this, aside from mitch’s habit of christmas pranks and his faking his death, they really don’t nearly get as annoyed by him ever again. i’ts a sweet touching ride tha’ts uncharacristic of the show’s usual chaos but really works. 

7. A Bunch of Full Grown Geese (Season 4, Episode 19) After a few episodes that were more sentimental on this list, it’s good to get back to some good old regular show madness for this one, which was also the series 100th in production order and is a worthy milestone episode. Season 4 was really good building on the good will from Season 3 and FINALLY having payoff to the margret and mordecai thing, more on that in a bit. Not as much to say as seasons 3 or 5, but it was still spectacular.  The sequel to another ep, fittingly given it’s #100, full grown geese has our duo tasked with removing a bunch of obnoxious geese, with Benson in dick mode refusing to give the two more help, though it does lead to one of the show’s best scenes when he gives his usual your fried threat.. and fitting a milestone episode, Rigby calls him on never going through with it and the threat being as empty as my dreams. Benson responds by going nuts and angrishing them out of his office.. really funny. But yeah with the geese attacking them and , in their first attacking, poor pops, and no way to combat them, the two turn to the baby ducks, a bunch of baby ducks from the episode titled that who show up to help.. and this being the 100th episode of an already grant morrison level nuts show, it turns out the geese seek to conquer earth, voiced by david warner of course and have laser eyes.. and can combine. And the ducks do so again, mecha style, and add in our heroes and a bunch of call backs in one of the series best and most batshit sequences> The ending is also throughly satisfying as while our heroes win, Benson chews them out for tearing up the park in the process.. only for the ducks mom to call him out for not only yelling at the ducks, who are just kids, but at mordecai and rigby after they just saved the park from being a smoldering crater and not just trashed and he backs off. Just a fun episode where the crew just went nuts and the results speak for themselves. 

6. This is My Jam (Season 2, Episode 13)

Now this one I couldn’t NOT include. This is one of the series best even after it’s immense growth, and a beloved classic for a reason. And like the above it’s a good classic case of regular show hyjinks while also being relatable this time: Rigby gets a brainless but catchy pop song from the 90′s stuck in his head and despite growing to hate it, and Mordecai hating it because this episode establishes him as a hipster, and seemingly exercises it.. only for it to manifest as a GIANT CASETTE WEARING SUNGLASSES THAT PLAYS THE SONG JUST BY EXISTING AND DANCES CONSTANTLY. it’s utterly glorious and used to great effect, also annoying benson because he’s constnatly annoyed. To beat it the main duo get the rest of the park’s help at Skips suggestion to form a band and craft an even BIGGER earworm to cast it out. Oh and there’s a great scene where Pops is forced to awkwardly dance with the incarnation of the 90′s “But I won’t use my best moves”.  The climax also has one of Benson’s best moments as, after he’s irritated all episode, he comes in hot, with both the cast and audience expecting him to chew out mordecai and rigby.. only he’s mad because they forgot drums are key to an earworm and saves the day with his drumwork. It’s a great subversion and one of the first times Benson was more than just the angry but understandable, at times, dickhead boss. Just an utter standout and one of the show’s most memorable episodes for a reason. Also the line “you can’t touch music but music can touch you’ is great. 

5. Meteor Moves ( Season 4, Episode 28)

This one was a long time coming and to me is a great example of writers taking their own shortcomings and making something awesome out of them. I prefer that: instead of just retconning away bad writing use it as a tool.. I try to do that myself when possible. See early in the show as you all probably know, Mordecai’s crush on Margret was just a plot device: he had a crush on the cute waitress at the coffee shop so they used it to get him to do things. A gratioutis shot of her in bike shorts got him to bet all computer rights for life that sort of thing. The show.. wasn’t great with female characters till season 3 and even as it grew, as season 6 and just.. forgetting to give CJ a proper ending as a character shows, still grappled with it. It took writer Kat Morris saying “no no stop go to jail” to them wanting ot make CJ a difficult woman type, whatever horrifying thing that is. I don’t want to know, let’s move on. The point is it wasn’t till season 3 that Margret and her best friends, and Rigby’s future wife, Eileen got fleshed out a bit: Eileen got smarter and turned out to be good at wilderness stuff while Margret was chill, nice, if annoyed by the chaos around mordecai, and funloving, while also having a clear goal in stark contrast to her future boyfriend: going to college. Even after coming back it was botha fter finsihing college and to start a career. It wasn’t incredibly deep, but it made me not be ehhh to her mere existance like before. The show also started developing her and Mordecai’s relationship seriously with the two bonding and the previously shown Butt Dial showing for the first time, after previously having a terrible taste in men and then just not noticing his crush, that she was receptive to how mordecai felt. And the two had several moments and two dates even, it just.. never went anywhere for some reason.

And this was INFURATING to me: See back then shows had a tendency to just pop in love intrests SOLEY for plot fuel like margret with no intention of following through with things either through rejection or a relationsihp upgrade and by then I was sick of it. The whole spike and rarity thing in MLP (which to be clear I wanted her to just reject him but nope, even after I stopped watching she never did. ), Isabella and Phineas. I was fed up so I went from being “eh” about it to annoyed supremely.. but the thing is the writers realized this.. and course corrected. The first step was picking up Margret, where Mordecai agrees to pick her up to get her to the airport for a college interview and we get a nice deconstruction of things as Margret is anticpatiing things going wrong, and wrongly blames Mordecai for it.. I mean it is his fault sometimes but half the time weird shit just follows him. However she’s won over by him working past it, getting her there in time and kisses him.  That blew me away and made me think well it’s finally here.. and it was.. ALMOST. However the creators wisely, if frustratingly to past me, took one more episode to iron it out: Metor Moves has the two growing closer, and semi-going out, but Rigby pops mordecai’s bubble pointing out he never actually made a boyfriend girlfriend move and her move could’ve gone either way. So Mordecai , after seasons of being wishy washy and awkward, finally decides to go for it as he, rigby, eileen and margret go to a metor shower.  Being Regular Show it dosen’t go as planned as his attempted kiss is blocked by the guardians of the friend zone.. which is a real, phantom zone esque place here and that’s just fantastic. And it’s also clearly mocking the hell out of the concept, which is dumb. if you want to ask someone out just do it, I learned that the hard way. And if you really are friends, if she says no then you’ll accept it and keep a friend anyway as I have. But it’s clearly parodying it and Mordecai get sreplayed all the times he ALMOST made a move but didn’t but refuses to accept this clusterfuck, realizes he was a screwup when it came to this.. and kisses her.. and this time the two enter a relationship> Granted it barely lasted but still, it was nice while it did and this ep is just great for it. While not the funniest, it’s up this high because it took somethign the show did wrong.. and turned it on it’s head and into a character flaw and had mordecai grow past it, with a genuinely romantic moment on top as well as an utterly funny and batshit concept. It also had some Rigleen, as by this point rigby stopped being a hateful wastebasket to her and warmed up to her, and I regret there’s no reigleen episodes on this list. Their the shows best couple and utterly adorable. Just wanted to mention that at least once this list. 

4. Laundry Woes (Season 5, Episode 1) From the begining to the end. While sadly Morderet didn’t last too long in canon, which blows, it did give us some great episodes while it lasted, as with the above entry and their breakup in Steak Me Amedeus. As mentioned before Margret left for college, which while abrupt feeling did pave the way for great stories: The Mordejay arc mentioned above and that will pop up again very soon, This was one of them: the ep while lacking on laughs is a good emotional rollercoaster and starts with an amazing montage that catches us up from the end of season 4: Mordecai is miserable, as you’d expect and wallowing in it with Benson, of all people, letting him. And given Benson seems to have a heart attack any time Mordecai and Rigby aren’t working, that’s huge. But eventually his friends refuse to let it go on and in a really touching montage help him through it, taking him out places, giving him good times and eventually.. the fog starts to lift and he starts to enjoy himself and by the end.. he’s himself again. It’s one of the series best sequences, told with no dialouge and showing just how far the rest of the cast had come: Benson actually wants to comfort mordecai but is encouraged not to at first, underfstandably as it probably woudlnt’ help, and a crew that were once, aside from Pops who much like Krillin is everyone’s friend, just coworkers who barely tolerated each other, and are now close as family and help their own in need.  But Grief isn’t a straight line and just as Mordecai’s recovering he’s sent spiraling when he finds Margret’s sweater and uses ita s a flimsy excuse to go return it. It’s here I also get to talk about Rigby, who grew from an impatient idiot who hated Mordecai’s romantic endevors and actively sabtoaged them at times, to an understandting wing man who, while understandably frustrated with his best friend’s own idiocy with women, turned out to know more and be the wise council he needed, triggering both is relationships and only bailing out during the season 6 clusterfuck and even then was there to comfort him after it was all over and go to his aid to pull him out of another misery hole. And here he gives Mordecai the hard truth: He shoudln’t do this, it’s just going to tear both him and margret up again and he just put himself back together. He’s not going to let his best friend do this to himself. And while there is a supernatural elment, the sweater comes to life and tries to get Mordecai to force margret back with him and give up college, likely voicing his darkest wants that he hates himself for wanting, but it feels more like a manfiestation of Mordecai’s own issues than the usual madness. Like “Trucker hall of Fame”, a rare senntence, it’s a less funny packed more grounded episode. And in the end it’s mordecai himself, after rejecting the ghost sweater and seeing his ex truly happy , that gets him to NOT talk to her and just.. let it go. IT’s a good emotional episode and SHOULD HAVE BEEN the end of their relationship... but i’ve ranted about the cheating storyarc enough here, moving right along. 

3. Portable Toilet (Season 5, Episode 16) Back to the Mordejay arc. And yes this arc is my faviorite and while I didn’t make it clear at the time I really shipped the two, even before it became canon. I had nothing against morderet, these two simply had more chemistry and these episodes built CJ up as more of a character than Margret was at the time. It’s why that later arc sucks so much to me: it destroys a perfectly good relationship and story arc for dumb reasons and never really did enough with it to justify doing so. I’ll get to it some day, or if someone comissions it soone rthan some day, but as you can tell i’m still sore over it and great eps like this are part of the reason why. It’s the same reason i’m sore on how Tom was handled on star vs. But as you can also tell as bitter and lemon scented as I am.. these eps are still objectivley great and thus took up a third of the list basically.  Case in point Portable Toilet, which zooms back a bit to when neither would admit they were into each other but were now friends at least. Also Eileen was CJ”s friend now because plot convience. I mean they worked, and it bothers me a lot that the creators claim cj washed her hands of her even though she’s not the one who made out with margret... which come to think of it adding her to rigleen.. not a bad idea. I mean Rigby didn’t really like margret true, but they did almost go out before mordecai killed him and then reset time because Mordecai’s always kinda sucked. I’ll file that away for later. But my new OTP aside, I did like the two bonding and what not.  Anyways with their outside park friend/RIgby’s future girlfriend now friends with Mordeai’s future girlfriend the four have apparently been hanging out which, while i’ve bemoaned off screen stuff at times, works here and regular show uses it better than most shows. While Rigby can clearly see Mordecai and CJ are into each other Mordecai is as we covered in denial and while that dosen’t really progress here, it does lead to one of teh shows finest hours. When talking would you rathers, CJ semi-flirtly dares Mordecai to eat his lunch sandwitch in a portable toilet, which he agrees to and drags a reluctant rigby along for. This being regular show, it goes south fast as the two get stuck, with Rigby’s clautrophiba kicking in leading to an amazing exchange Mordecai; Dude that makes no sense! Rigby: You’s makes no sense! While our dynamic duo try to get mordecai and rigby out the two are carted away and repalced with a new portable toilet, a deluxe one. Also we get another great bit when our dynamic duo find Muscle man, in a robe with choclate’s claming “Eileen, other girl, this isn’t weird” before screaming “This isn’t weird”. Turns out old portable toilets are taken to be blown up by the miltary and we get one of the shows best one off characters in the general, who not only explains it as “toilets being about the same size as the enmy” but when told he should call the president says “the preseident is not my father i’ll blow up as many toilets as I want.”. Spectacular. So now it’s a scramble for one twosome to rescue the other, Rigby lets out a cathartic “THANK YOUUU MORDECAI” over the flirty toilet dare, and the day is saved> This one is another pure comedy one, even if it ties into a plot I really like, and i’ts gold for obvious reasons and manages to take blowing up porta poties, a premise that dosen’t seem that funny, and make it utter comedic gold. Speaking of pure comic episodes that are utterly insane...

2. Cool Bikes (Season 3, Episode 7)

This one feels like regular show boiled down to it’s core: semi-relabtale hyjinks dovetalling into pure madness. And the premise sounds like a shit post i’d make: Mordecai and Rigby want benson to admit their cool and get into progressively weird outfits and tricks to their bycycles to do so, eventually becoming so cool their put on trial by the council of cool , ending up having to make a runner when Benson finally breaks down and admits it.  The premise is utterly stupid in the best way possible, with the conflict being the kind of petty bullshit we all get into from time to time with our aquantinces: not wanting to admit something and loose the argument withthings escalating. And in regular show terms it escalate sperfectly into the entire unvierse being threatned adn our heros being on trial for their lives. There’s not much to say here, it’s just pure comedic gold with a premise that just works. It also has good moments for Benson with his finally admitting they are cool and saving the duo’s lives whne he realized he just gave them a death sentence. Utter fun. And now we come to the finale, my faviorite episode...

1. Dodge This (Season 5, Episode 15) 

Yup this arc again. But this one has more than my ship going for it, and it’s why it soared to the top: It takes the excellent character work of other episodes and weaves it with excellent comedy to create an utter delight and the episode I remember most fondly and most often. It’s just great. The second part of the Mordeijay arc, not counting yes dude yes, the episode is half that and half sports movie: The Park Guys have been taking part in dodgeball as a team bulding thing and it shows how far Benson’s come as he not only praises mordecai, and launches the mordecai and benson ship in the process, but gives his team full wings and his full support, a far cry from his usual self. It’s also the first big instance of him getting hammered on wings and it’s glorious to see drunk flirty benson.  Benson is also genuinely congratulatory to the team’s ace mordecai, and most of them realy for b eing valuable and hopes to win this year.  IN their way are two things: The magical elements, aka the floating baby heads that gave skips his immortality, his friend with sparkly eyes who works for them and death himself whose a recurring character and fucking great and who were their bowling rivals too. The other is CJ is back, and Benson in another good moment actually talks mordecai through it and his nerves over it assuring him. So we get a great sports piece as our heroes work through various callbacks and even beat the magical elements iwth Rigby’s hilarious and rediculous rignado manuver, which is as dumb as it sounds and winged a guy hilaroiusly before with Benson scolding him like a toddler.  Of course it ends up with Mordecai and CJ against each other, both incredibly awkard over things as mentioned before, and both ending up in a stalmate that magical dodgeball guardians have to resolve because, let’s do this one last time. IT’S REGULAR SHOW. We do get a good moment though as the two work through their awkwardness: both thinking the other is rightfully mad: Mordecai for his two timer date with her and Margret and CJ for running out without talking to mordecai after they had a moment on new years. The both work past it, the park strikers loose,benson likely gets hammered again off screen.. it’s a good one and I have no shame in putting it at number one. It’s got heart, really great jokes, and some good charcter stuff, not to the level of other episodes on this list, but it wasn’t a full episode of that like those were and still works to move the plot forward and is still a classic. Just a fun, breezy, well done epsidoe fully rooted in the cast’s characters and getting laughs out of that.. mostly benson.  And with that this giangantic list comes to a close> I hope you enjoyed it, if you liked it follow me for more. I’ll be doing close enough coverage every week, as well as amphibia and owl house among other reviews. Until we meet again, later days. 

[tessatechaitea]

Teen Titans Spotlight #9: Changeling

I feel like this is the first appearance of the Changeling logo.

It's as if General Immortus knew that one day Niles Caulder would be just a head! Or, more probably, Grant Morrison fucking remembered this one panel and thought, "I'll turn The Chief into a disembodied head!" Unless it was Rachel Pollack who did that. What am I? The Doom Patrol wiki?

Cliff Steele has just been on another adventure where his body was torn apart. At least I'm assuming it was because whenever he or Red Tornado are in a super hero battle, they usually get torn to pieces. Somebody's got to be and you can't do it to Batman. But Cliff is tired of it and he's ready to retire to a ranch in California. I wonder why Grant Morrison's run didn't take place there? Cliff and Garfield wind up at the New York Zoo because Garfield wants to fuck the lioness and Cliff wants to buy hot dogs that he can't eat.

Based on the repartee between Robotman and Changeling, I don't think the crowd are the only people to mistake Cliff for Cyborg.

The previous caption was a criticism of the writer, Paul Kupperberg. Was it too subtle? I know it wasn't on the level of Ann Nocenti criticism where I once questioned how she survived the surgery that replaced her brain with Jello pudding but sometimes you need a little subtlety in your life. Like when you want to masturbate but all you have on hand are your sandpaper masturbation gloves. I don't know if that final sentence had anything to do with subtlety. I think it had more to do with me introducing the public to my new invention! It, um, needs some work.

I first read Changeling's line as "You're obviously a fat." Not because I often misread the fuzzy text of old comic books but because I saw the kid in the first panel and my brain began thinking, "How do I make a hilarious and inoffensive fat joke about this kid?"

I just realized I should mention the writers and artists of these old issues since they're not on the cover. The artist is Dan Jurgens and I already mentioned the writer. I don't know what inkers do so I don't remember who the inker was. And the one thing I've always refused to do in my comic book reviews over the last eight years is to mention the letterer! Mostly because I always hated reading letters from fans who praise the writing and drawing and then offer a throw away line about how easy the typeface was to read thanks to Costanza or whoever! Oh, and I actually really forgot about the colorist until just now! That was Adrienne Roy! Who better to color some kid green than good old Adrienne! Cliff walks off in a huff when people begin to actually recognize him. He should have thrown in a few "Booyahs" and offered to show off his white noise cannon. Um, wink, wink! I'm not proficient at flirting. Before Robotman can find a quiet bathroom stall to wish he could cry in, Mister 104 attacks! I know. You're thinking the same thing I'm thinking, right? What happened to Misters 1-103? Oh, and probably, who the fuck is Mister 104?! But then I'd be disappointed if a Doom Patrol villain showed up and I recognized that villain. Their villains should get a "What the fuck?!" reaction at least ninety percent of the time. That's another thing the television show got right! How many scenes have Crazy Jane shouting "What the fuck?" and then Cliff responds with "What the fuck?" and then Crazy Jane is all "No, fucking seriously! What the fuck?" and then Cliff is all "What the fucking fuck fuck fucking fuck?!" The show uses the F-word a lot! Luckily Changeling remembers who Mister 104 is and thinks through Mister 104's entire origin for us. It turns out Mister 104 can turn into every known element on the periodic table. He's only Mister 104 because that's how many elements were on the periodic table in 1965 when he first appeared in Doom Patrol #98. Except when he appeared in that issue, he was Mister 103. So either he hadn't looked at a periodic table since 1961 when he first attacked the Doom Patrol in 1965 or Arnold Drake, the original Doom Patrol writer and co-creator, fucked up. Or maybe there was a plot reason for it in the story, like Mister 103 just despised Helium or maybe Superman paid him to never turn into krypton(ite)? Still, this is 1987! He should be Mister 109! I didn't learn all of that from Changeling's thought bubbles! Some of it I learned because Mister 104 mentions that when he last encountered the Doom Patrol, he was left as "a mass of free floating destabilized atoms" and the editor helpfully noted that took place in Doom Patrol #106. In 1987, I would have just thought, "Oh, okay. Whatever." But in 2019, I can use the Internet to find out all about that issue! Suck it, me in 1987 who didn't learn anything new or helpful in any way and who couldn't pretend like you were super smart and knew all about the periodic table because you didn't have Wikipedia like a stupid idiot! Ha ha! Apparently Mister 104 appeared in other comic books I've read (like The Doom Patrol vs. Suicide Squad Special) but it's understandable that I don't remember him. Partly because he may have been going by Atomic Man or Atomic Master and also because he's just kind of stupid. But stupid in just the right way that Doom Patrol villains should be stupid!

Don't read this text if you're trying to avoid spoilers for Teen Titans Spotlight #9: Changeling!

It looks like Mister 103 first takes on the name Mister 104 here. But what's odd is that he tells Cliff, "You might remember me: Mister 104!" And Changeling thinks, "That's Mister 104!" I guess Paul Kupperberg couldn't abide the fact that Arnold Drake fucked up and he had to correct him. I bet he was fuming for over twenty years! He probably got a job as a comic book writer simply to fix this mistake from his childhood! But then, I suppose everything can be explained away by simply invoking Crisis on Infinite Earths. That probably changed things somehow.

That's your argument for why you'r going to win this fight?

During the battle, Mister 104 turns into a lot of different chemical compounds, proving that he was indeed a molecular engineer. But Robotman manages to thwart each of his different shapes with punches, proving that nerds just can't win in physical combat. Eventually, Mister 104 sets a fire that traps the fat kid from earlier who didn't have enough sense to get the fuck out of the way. Interrupting the battle is a scene where Mento plots the downfall of the Teen Titans with the help of his captive, the star of the next issue of Spotlight, Aqualad! Back to the fight, Changeling saves the kid and drops him off by the hot dog stand. He sees some canisters and the fat kid says, "Those? But that's just soda gas!" Who the fuck calls it soda gas? I lived through 1987 and I don't remember ever saying, "The soda gas in this soda really hits the spot!" Maybe calling it carbonated water or carbon dioxide or carbonation would have given the game away too early! Changeling appears as a giant ape wielding cans of carbon dioxide to smother Mister 104's flaming fury. And this time instead of transforming into some other element, he's knocked out cold! Way to go, soda gas! Teen Titans Spotlight #9: Changeling Rating: C+. The entire point of the story was to show that Robotman's estimation of Garfield Logan has grown and that he now sees him as a real hero. I guess the reader is suppose to think, "Yeah! If Robotman can admit that Garfield is now a real hero and not some jerk off jokester who causes more problems than he solves, I should probably think that too!" And since I'm a totally average comic book reader, I'm totally a Garfield Logan fan now! He isn't obnoxious and annoying at all in the way I thought! He's a real hero! Not as big a hero as soda gas but still pretty great!

[mockky]

A sad story how Russo bros reminded us about the crappy world we live in

Disclaimer (kinda). Preventing the arguments like “read the comic-book to understand the movie”. First of all I've never read the comics and never will. I shouldn't do that to watch a movie. It's the director's job to tell me a story. It can be changed a bit, but it still has to have a logic. This is author's priority.

I guess there's no need to run through the movie again and get to details, it's too many of them. Just a few big ones. Firstly, the time travel idea is pretty lame by itself. Every time-travel-movie does the same mistakes – PARADOXES, no one managed to escape it. So if you can solve your problem only by time travel – please don't do the movie, this job is not for you.

It's like the creators don't know the rules of their own universe. Nebula translates her thoughts to Past-Nebula, they're connected somehow even being far from each other, killing Past-Nebula literally doesn't do anything. How does it work? All this plan just fucked up the previous movies. And then some random rat actually saves the universe? Seriously? I don't know but I think it’s called “lazy writing”.

OK, there's no movie without a sin. But what's really important is the screwed up characters. No one did or got anything what one was supposed to.

Loki. His extremely stupid, reckless and suicidal lunge actually was extremely stupid, reckless and suicidal. The God of Guile threw himself with a toothpick against titan and dropped dead. Bravo!

Thor. I never really was a fan of him. But this is officially the worst comic-relief ever. Why he should be like some sort of that whiny drunk dumbass, especially after him being so cool and strong in Infinity war? Gods saved us from fart-jokes and slow-mo-food-fight. Thor lost his parents, lost his brother and Asgard. He's broken and crushed, and Marvel just points finger at him and laughs. Very mature.

Doctor Strange showed up to show us a very important finger.

Captain Marvel is a whole new level of pain in the ass. Skip the Boring-IMBP-part. Though it's hard to forget how they just shoved her in fan's throats, and expected them to have the same empathy for her as for Tony or Cap. But we know them for 10 damn years! The biggest problem that she's not a person, she is God ex machine with magic GPS in her head, invincible, strong-independent-woman and all. With that cockish face of hers, kicked Thanos's ass, but when it comes to the gauntlet, it's up to Hulk and Tony. What da hell? All that power, it's the only thing she could help with. And don't give me that "it's a big universe, not only you've got problems" crap. Thanos's snap affected THE WHOLE universe. Isn't he the main threat here and now?

And what really pissed me of is the ending and the way it fucked up the most interesting and deep part of it all – Steve and Bucky.

Allow me to remind you few points.

CATFA

We see Steve as this tiny subtle guy with heart of gold and strong will, he is hero inside. I can do this all day. He wanted to go to war, he took the serum, he's like walking embodiment of self-sacrifice and heroism. But he became “the chorus girl”, this empty symbol, a fake. Actual soldiers don't believe and don't respect him, cuz he’s never been in real fight. He does not respect himself anymore. But when his friend got in danger in the blink of an eye Steve transforms into this Rambo, alone against the world, flipped like a switch. He dashed headlong to the enemy's base just for tiny possibility his friend might be alive. At that very moment Steve becomes what he meant to be – the real Captain America.

CATWS

Steve managed to get through 70 years of brainwashing with only one phrase, and refused to fight Winter soldier hoping that there was still Bucky somewhere. The entire movie revolves around two of them.

CATCW

Some fans said that Cap and Tony should switch sides on this one, but it doesn't feel right for me. Cap's got a point. What if there's somewhere we need to go, and they don't let us. Obviously it is CATFA reference, where he goes against orders to save Bucky. And he's afraid cuz he knows that it could cost lives. And now he's running around the city protecting Bucky from the government and T'Chala. He fights Tony, bloodily, everything to protect Bucky.

What a lovely deep drama! It's a comic-book story here we’re talking about. I bet in CATFA no one really noticed sweet little Bucky. But the Winter soldier just stole the movie and fan's hearts. Steve and Bucky have this strong almost cosmic bonds, it's stronger than brotherhood or friendship, it was so since 40s. After all this freezing thing they became totally unique for each other. You can smash vibranium shield with that bonds (which Cap actually does symbolically when gives up the shield TWICE, both times for Bucky). It's unbelievable that after all he did for Bucky Cap could ditch Bucky for anyone or anything. Creators teased the fans and encouraged that bromance. It was openly a queer-baiting, it was a canon, and you can't stop the shippers.

Three movies were built up on this relationship. It was work of art if you ask me – so many details, so much depth, and the amaizing acting, I mean you can watch it over and over, and every time you find something new in their eyes or words. And they not just talk, they actually do anything to proof their devotion to each other. It's absolutely beautiful. And it's Bucky who made Steve interesting and alive as a movie character and a real hero as a person.

And what we get in the end? Bucky turned into dust in front of Steve, but on the group meeting Steve talks about... Peggy? Where did it come from? He doesn't mention Bucky the whole movie. Steve goes to return the Infinity stones and comes back an old man. For us, for Bucky, it was 5 sec, but for Steve it was 70+ years. He left Bucky and lived 70+ years without him. Besides he never said Bucky about his plan (or just desire or whatever), didn't say a proper goodbye, didn't consider it as a betrayal. He just decided to live for himself. By the way Bucky reacted as if it was a big surprise for him and even bigger disappointment. He was anxious during that scene when Steve suddenly didn't show up on the platform. And if you wanna say “Bucky knew it was gonna happen and was happy for his friend” then it's the great time to keep your mouth shut. He obviously wasn't happy with it, and he didn't know. Post-movie interviews don’t count! Don’t tell me that it was off-screen. It’s a MOVIE! If something is important – it’s on the screen and it becomes a canon. Stupid scene in a cafe with selfie and kids IS on the screen, apparently it’s important af and it’s a canon. Fat greasy-haired Thor yells at some gamer in chat – that’s VERY important and it’s a canon. But a talk between best friends when one of them decided to leave the other for good and go to the past doesn’t deserve screen time. Are you sure you set your priorities right? By the way Sebastian asked Russo about this. He thought there would be some dialogue between Steve and Bucky, but director said No, you already had that conversation.

No wonder Bucky didn't approach to Steve and only looked from distance. What can you possibly say to the man who claimed himself your best friend and then easily abandoned you just like that, lived without you for 70+ years and apparently was OK with it.

Steve just goes to Peggy. Because that's how it must be, that's natural, that's happiness. This cliché stuck so deep in the people minds, so they can't see anything behind it. I'm sure that not so many people knows what it actually means, but they believe that it's the right thing.

I might blow few minds now. Here it goes – the closest person is the one who shares with you your life experience, not the bed. NO WAY! I'm not saying than your partner can't be your friend. Spouses are not always the closest friends and the closest friends are not always spouses. You just can't screw up all Steve's emotional baggage that related to Bucky just for Peggy, which was in Steve's life, what, like 15 minutes? Steve knows Bucky since childhood, they were best friends, they supported each other, lived together, protected and saved each other many times. They share the same fate (war, serum, man out of time), there's no one who can be closer. “He loves her so much!” arguments can't erase too much of a history. It just doesn't work that way! You can't exchange one for another. A loved one can't replace your best friend, cuz of damn emotional baggage! You can have both, you can have none, but you can't trade it!

And what about Peggy? CATFA-Peggy was not a good person actually. She's whimsical and eccentric damsel. For example she shoots 1) at the experimental read not properly tested shield 2) with a chance to kill someone by ricochet 3) in enclosed space without ears protection for her or everyone else; she punches a soldier for an inappropriate commentary. And the scene in the bar shows Peggy as a simply impolite person – she ignores the soldier who just got back from captivity, it's very rude, especially when Bucky was polite with her. And on top of this I think she picked interest in Steve only after the serum. I bet Pre-serum-Steve was friendzoned for the rest of his life.

In TV-series though she appears to have a strong personality. She is an interesting character and not just love interest for Steve. She founded the S.H.I.E.L.D., had a happy fulfilled life. She let Steve go. And when she died, Steve let her go. I don't believe for a one second she is the love of his life. Staring at the photo is NOT a depiction of love. Not in my book. It's just a woman Steve once kissed.

So what went wrong? They made such a great Steve's character development, they put so much in his relationship with Bucky. Countless details, shades and layers. Every scene, every dialogue. An all of it just... puff... vanished.

Actually it wasn't so sudden as it seems. First signs of it appeared in Civil war. Did you noticed how the creators put the distance between Bucky and Steve? It's like “Hey guys! You know this whole story gets kinda pansy. We stand for cliché, for heteronormativity and happy ends! Every man got a girl! You can't have best friend, not the same sex, only hetero! So quit with the hugs end eye-fucking, more masculinity! Sebastian, you must get as thick as you can, so nobody could say you're gay. And Steve's gonna make out with a girl, just to be safe”. And this kissing scene is the most awkward I've ever seen. This weird kiss out of the blue, the fact that Sam and Bucky are watching (BTW how often do you stare at your friends kissing? Please, share at the comment section). Even actors call this scene awkward and weird, they basically hate it. And in fact that this scene wasn't it the script, it was added much later.

Then the forced friendship between Bucky and Sam. Moreover, they tried to replace Steve'n'Bucky's friendship with it. Sam rather has a chemistry with Steve, not Bucky. And the way Mackie and Stan here and there together on comic-cons where Mackie acts like he's Stan's BBF and Stan's just embarrassed. This whole all of a sudden friendship thing feels so unnatural and stretched. It's not like I don't wanna Bucky has friends and all, adaptation and stuff, But it doesn't mean Bucky doesn't need Steve, no one can replace him. And it all was only to make their friendship NO HOMO. But the way I see it, there wasn't anything gay about them (BTW I'm not a shipper and not homophobic), just some people have dead opossum's emotional range. In their head the man wants either bang you or kill you, nothing in between. I'm sure nobody took seriously the idea that they make them gay, or that they look like gay. It's just bromance. But noooooooo. They must've done this to them, cuz Happily ever after.

Eventually we got what we got. In Endgame Steve and Bucky are barely shares the screen together, even if they actually next to each other, they don't hug, don't talk, don't even look. Even after Bucky got back from the dust. It's like they never cared for each other.

Steve considered Bucky recovered after being tortured and brainwashed for 70 (it still blows my mind how long it is!) years, he's OK. No one said he's OK though, even Bucky himself. He's still the same wrecked man lost in time and his own head with tremendous weight of guilt and torn apart personality. It's not the same Bucky from 40es, and he never will be. Steve’s the only one who could break through to him, for Bucky Steve is like the ground he stands, the only guide light in this chaos that left of his life. According to Stan – Steve is the only thing that keeps Bucky alive. Well, Bucky, sorry pal, gun or rope?

Steve is an asshole. He thinks he's so special and good enough to rewrite Peggy's life (which was good for Peggy without Steve) just because he wants it. Abandons Bucky, who has nothing but Steve, abandons the world he fought for and called his home, and the friends called family. All this for the woman, who was almost nothing to him especially compared with Bucky and the others. All the things Peggy said in a hospital, all the character development and his words about the man died in the ice, new home and new family – all of it was fucked up, buried under that shit. You need to move on. Until you get a time machine. Then you can go back. So what is it? Maybe Steve never was a hero and hence he doesn't deserve our respect. Or, what is the most likely, creators think we are idiots.

Steve gives the shield to Sam. And I wouldn't mind. Why not. This job definitely is not for Bucky. He's tired, he's semi-stable 100 years old man, he had enough of war for two lifetimes. It's too much for him, it would be cruel for Bucky. Symbolism is a cool thing, but life doesn't work that way. Pep-talks don't heal. Get real, OK? Sam is a new Cap, fine, it's logical. But it's always about the How, not What.

From the moment Bucky sees the old man on the bench til the end of the movie Bucky didn't even think about to approach Steve, he sent Sam instead. They didn't talk, Steve didn't even look at him. This entire scene Bucky has this endless sadness in his eyes. There's a glimpse of a smile when he looks at Sam, but in the moment it's gone. And then it's pain and sorrow on his face again. I don't really see happy Bucky. 

Just look at his eyes and tell me you look the same when you’re happy

And actually Steve doesn't sparkle with joy either. He kinda lived his “happy life”, but there's no sign of it, especially that he refused to talk about her. 

But it's confirmed information – Peggy's mysterious husband IS Steve Rogers.In the end Bucky got this last slap on his face. Bucky asked himself if he worth all of it. NO. No, Bucky, fuck you.

I find it funny (seriously I don't) that it's the same directors and screenwriters, who did Winter soldier and Civil war. How could they screw it up? One might say “Cuz there's TV-series Falcon and Winter soldier coming, it needs to be this way”.

A few little ideas for ending that wouldn't do any harm.

Behold!

1.  If they want Steve out of it, why don't kill him? Canonic, right?

1.1 In final battle Steve is dying. He tried to shield Bucky and dying on his arms. He can give the shield to Bucky, so his broken and lost friend could have purpose in life that helps him to move on. Or he can just die and Bucky takes the shield as something in memory of Steve. And then Bucky gives the shield to Sam, like saying “I've lost it all, I've lost my friend, but you're a good guy and maybe we can become friends sometime”. If it happened like this I could in time accept Sam as a new Cap and Bucky's friend.

1.2 Or perhaps Steve, still dying, gives the shield to Sam.

2. This one is not so good idea, but OK. Steve goes to the past, his a douche. But if you want a TV-series he can’t take Bucky with him. And it's still the same – Steve gives the shield, doesn't matter who would it be (pick anyone you like). But Steve can’t leave without saying goodbye.

Oh my god! It's two of it and we still got the TV show! Fascinating! And there is more of it.

3. Oh that's the good one. The one with the Steve we know and love. Steve stays. Steve goes to the past to return the infinity stones. Steve could allow himself just a moment to be selfish and have that dance with Peggy, or stay for not so long, a year maybe. And then he must go back, knowing that there are people who need him more, than Peggy. Of course if Steve is young, fit and tight, he won't retire. But Sam and Bucky are still with us, they're cool enough to have a TV-show.      

4. And what if like this? Shuri did the research to find a way to clear Bucky's head from the Hydra's code. What if she did? Or what if with Hydra's code some memories are gone too? Maybe Bucky could be an antagonist.

And just for me. We don't care about the money, and give Steve and Bucky the final they deserve.

1. Bucky and Steve dying fighting together. The most obvious and sad final. Till the end of the line

2. Bucky dies. It's tragic for Steve and he could say “I've lost it all”, and goes to Peggy. A little OOC, but not so bad.

3. What if we go back to that brain-cleaning option? Steve dies, but Bucky's so broken he can't stand it, and he goes to Shuri so she could wipe up his memory. Tragically and symbolically, cuz first time he was forced to forget Steve's alive, and now he does it voluntarily to forget Steve's dead.

I'm not a screenwriter, and my head's not crowded with ideas. But this is still better than what we've got in the Endgame. I could step on my own throat and accept the Endgame only if Bucky says that Steve is a traitor and he hates him. I'm not saying that Steve doesn't deserve this dance or happy ending. He does. Everybody Does. Everybody've suffered enough. But Steve doesn't deserve to become such an asshole. Bucky doesn't deserve to be forsaken in such a way. 

Honestly, I don't care about forced bromance with Sam, or Sharon, even love interest for Bucky (it would be kinda specific I guess). They could do anything, but they can't throw away Bucky and Steve. These characters are alive, their world is real. Sometimes happy ending is impossible. And if you force it, you can ruin everything. And this is what they actually did.

And it just bugs me – why, why did they do this? Maybe it's too much pressure and they screwed up. Or maybe it's Big studio' bosses. You know maybe if they just shut up about it.. time heals you know. But it gets worse. On the interview directors says one thing and screenwriters say the other, they all can't string sentense together. And only Bucky's face speaks for himself. I mean did you see this fresh Sebastian's panel at London comic-con? I’ll show you few moments, but you've got to watch the whole thing (https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=5&v=-KQpzG49exM). When he asks the audience did they like the movie, many people say “No!”, when he approves the final of Endgame one shout “Liar!”. Look at the body language. You'll see how he sincerely and emotionally talks about anything.  As soon as it comes to Endgame, he is immediately clamped, his leg begins to twitch.

The previous question was that he was interested in - what kind of heroes he wants to play. Therefore, he sits on the edge of the couch, leaning over to the public. The next question about the final and Steve going to Peggy. He immediately moves and leans back, he covers his belly with hand. The question is unpleasant to him.

Then the speech becomes confused, although before that it flowed freely, he literally gasps as if he doesn't know what to say, his micro-mimic denies his words.

He says he agrees with the final, Bucky is happy, Steve deserves it. But his body screams just the opposite - a sharp wave of his hand and chin say "no"

And this is the worst one. On the words “He (Bucky) was happy,” his whole pose just screams “NO!”. This insincere smile, this tilt of the head and a slight denying swaying. All this says more than any words

It's so obvious that he so tired of it. I bet that under the contract, he has no right to scold the movie and must promote the policy of the studio. But when he said that “Bucky was happy for Steve” .... This is the most forced smile I've ever seen. This is the most unconvincing lie in my memory. You can see just right through it, it's like an open book. But he has to do it, because crossing with the Big Studio Boss when your career just went uphill is not the best idea. The truth is important, but the dream is too. He started the career since the age of 15, which is quite long, considering this is not such a brilliant career, but he definitely worked so hard for it. So he caught between the hammer and an anvil now. On the one hand, acting career is the only thing for him, on the other hand studio bosses who can bury the dream, and on top of it the fans who are looking for his support. So "Steve is happy, Bucky is happy, awesome film, kill me, please!". By the way where is his best buddy Mackie? Why Seb's cleaning this mess all by himself? Seeing him like this just breaks my heart

And I honestly do not understand the people who liked it. How can you not see all this?? And there are those who claim that we didn’t like Endgame because we didn’t see any movies at all and didn’t read comic-books. There are Stucky fans who liked Endgame. Are the clichés so strong that people just don’t see all this... The story of Bucky and Steve was way too deep. Bucky is too tragic and well-developed character for a superhero comic-book story. All this deserved so much more. And the creators simply could not finish the job; mass cinema is simple and flat and it's made that way on purpose. They pull the most primitive triggers, so that people do not have to think. The most simple patterns help to reach more people. In other words, they are doing everything to raise more money. And it works. Thus we’ll get more of it in the future. No doubt about that.

For me, Endgame marked the victory of the corporate moneymaking machine over creativity. And the box office speaks for itself. It's an awful world to live in...

[asiryn]

tagged by @primrose-path-of-dalliance (!!!!!! thanks!!! (lmao, it’s been so long since i’ve been tagged in anything XDD))

Rules: Name your top 10 favourite characters from 10 different fandoms, then tag 10 people!

i’m putting this behind a cut, bc i rambled on for quite a while XDD these won’t be in any particular order, and the fandoms will be chosen based off of what i’m currently most into/whichever ones i think of first XD

1. Maleficent [Disney]

okay, i lied a little.....she is clearly my #1 favorite character of all time, so of course she’s first (the rest of the list won’t be in any particular order :P). but....yeah, i love her forever and for all time and eternity, i love her class and elegance, my hunt for all merchandise of her that i can get my hands on is legendary and knows no bounds, she’s my forever girl, etc, etc. if you know only one fact about me, it’s probably that i love maleficent. there’s nothing i can say here that i haven’t probably already said a million times over, so i’ll move on XD

(moana has risen to be a pretty close second, tho)

2. Anthony J. Crowley [Good Omens]

i read the book from a library over a decade ago, and i liked it well enough, but it like....wasn’t an instant new fave that i had to immediately buy for myself (tho it is on a list of books that i wouldn’t mind owning...but maybe it’s finally time, who knows). i’m halfway through the show, and i’ve finally fallen in love with it (i think it finally being a #confirmed love story between our favorite ineffable idiots finally gave it the push it needed XD). it’s still a bit early for me to have a solid, definite fave, but lbr, if i know myself at all, it’s gonna be crowley XD i love this dumb demon (who’s rivaled in his idiocy only by his equally dumb angel husband), i love how he’s so soft even as he tries desperately to convince himself and everyone else that he isn’t, that he loves so many things and humanity and an angel even as he tries to say that he isn’t capable of it, that he never stopped questioning even after it had made him Fall. also, i am so thankful that the fandom has really embraced the potential for the shenanigans of crowley’s snake form.👍

(second place is probably aziraphale, but i also really love anathema too)

3. Namine [Kingdom Hearts]

another one that probably comes as no surprise, if you know me. i love this girl to the ends of the universe. i love the way she reclaimed her agency, her selflessness and determination, her empathy and kindness, how she went from a damsel in distress to pretty much saving everyone, over and over and over again. she deserves only happiness and the best things from now on. and please, for the love of god, give her some new clothes, nomura. >_>

(second fave is roxas, tho really, i love 98% of all the characters in this series ;;;)

4. Aerith Gainsborough [Final Fantasy VII]

my precious sunshine girl 💖 i prefer her in the original game, where she was sweet and optimistic, yes, but she was also sassy and fierce and took shit from no one. i love the girl that decided she wanted to wear a sexy red dress just for the hell of it, and threatened to rip off a mafia don’s balls. i love the girl that was confident and flirty with cloud, but never let any kind of bullshit ‘rivalry’ get in the way of being friends with tifa. i love that she always called cloud out on his bullshit, that she never let tragedy and oppressive shinra forces grind out her optimism, that she never stopped dreaming of a better future. i love that she was exposed to the worst of human nature, and yet still believed that they were worth saving. i love all versions of aerith, obvs, but they’ve definitely smoothed out her edges over the years, and i think that’s a shame. so here’s hoping that she’ll be more like her original self in the remake. 

also, can’t wait to see aerith die again :)))))))

(my second fave tends to flip between cloud and sephiroth)

5. Ling Yao / Greed [Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood]

look. listen. i can’t choose between them, i just can’t. and hey....technically they sort of combine into one entity, so it’s totally fine to count them together, right?? XDD so yeah, it’s really fucking hard to pick a fave out of this cast, bc there’s only like....3 characters?? that i don’t love. but ultimately, it had to be these two. every single second they’re on screen, they totally steal the show, and they have a lot of the best scenes and moments in the series. i love ling, how he seems like a total goofball and comic relief at first, but fairly quickly you come to see just how fucking seriously he takes his duties and responsibilities, how selfless and devoted he is to his people, how he would walk through hellfire for the people he loves. he’s just....he just loves, so fiercely and intensely, that he moves even greed into loving him and the people he cares about without even trying. 

and then there’s greed, who even from the beginning, you can’t help but be charmed by, with his sarcastic slow claps and laidback attitude. but over time, you see that he’s just like ling, really, in that he can’t help but get attached to these humans, that he loves them just as fiercely and intensely, even as he desperately tries to play it off. i love the way his character serves as a means for the story to have a really thought-provoking rumination on the nature of sins and desires, and on humanity (as do all of the other homunculi). i could go on forever about these two, and about the show in general, bc it’s just so deep and incredibly layered and complex, so i’ll stop here. 

(next fave after them is winry)

6. Bucky Barnes [MCU]

it’s hard for me to talk about bucky without just dissolving into endless sobbing, but i’ll try my best. he’s just.....he’s someone who has ended up suffering so fucking much, who has every reason in the world to be angry and bitter and resentful and if this was the villain origin story, you’d probably find it hard to blame him. (also, i refuse to say that bucky was ever a villain, bc he never willingly chose to be with hydra, he’s a victim goddamn it--) and yet....he still chooses to be good. to be kind. he could have chosen to go on an endless revenge tour against hydra, but instead he focuses on his own recovery. and always, always, always, he puts other people first. he chooses to goddamn freeze himself, possibly forever, so that he doesn’t hurt people again. he’s truly an inspiration to me, because even after everything he’s been through, he still doesn’t give up. ......and if you’ll excuse me, i need to resume crying about bucky barnes for the rest of eternity 😭😭😭

(next faves are sam and steve. what can i say, i love my caps XP)

7. Keladry of Mindelan [Tortall]

speaking of inspirations, few (if any) characters inspire me more than kel does. unlike every other tortall protagonist, she has absolutely no magic at all, and she starts her story with more odds stacked against her than any of the others. the system and institution are against her, and most people actively, viciously hate her and want to see her fail, all for being a girl and daring to openly step outside of her gender roles. and yet, kel never gives up, and wins through pure will and determination. more than that, she never stops fighting any oppression that she sees, and is always looking out for the abused and marginalized of society. she is fair and just and righteous, and full of a quiet, immovable strength that i, frankly, envy. she’s a fucking mountain; you haven’t a hope of ever tearing her down. 

(other faves....george, raoul, and dom. it’s really fucking hard to choose between them, i can’t even)

8. Oree Shoth [Inheritance trilogy, by N. K. Jemison]

oree is pretty much single-handedly responsible for me loving this trilogy, and is the reason why The Broken Kingdoms (the second book, of which she is the protagonist) is in my top 3 favorite books of all time. she is....just so fucking radiant. she’s a blind artist, and is flung so far out of her depth in the story, and yet she holds her own. in this world of gods, she brings this incredibly human element, and is celebrated because of her humanity. she’s angry and flawed, but also full of love, compassion, kindness, and mercy. she teaches gods the meaning of forgiveness. she takes shit from no one. just....do yourself a favor, and read this series, even if it’s only so that you can read this book. 

(second fave....it’s probably shiny, lbr XD)

9. Sirius Black [Harry Potter]

ahhh, a classic fave. but yeah, i still love him, even after all these years. yes, he’s incredibly flawed, but at his core, he’s just so loyal, and he loves so fiercely, and he tries his absolute best to be there for harry, that i can’t help but love him. also, i have a Thing, for characters who suffer so tremendously, but who don’t give up, and still try their best to be good people anyway. also, wolfstar was the foundation of a very formative part of my life, and put me onto the road of accepting my queer identity, so i’ll always have a soft spot in my heart for the characters who were a part of that. 🤷‍♀️

(other faves are luna and harry, always)

10. Gladion [Pokemon]

mostly his anime incarnation, tho i do like him in the games as well. i love this soft goth boy with all of my heart. he’s so gentle and kind and loving, and i can’t even with him. 

(other faves are lillie, n, zoey, and kukui)

if you guys want to do it, i’ll tag... @dabiden, @green-piggy, @seasbelow, @theroyalweekend, @toomanyfeelings5, @ashetrashe, @neddea.....i can’t think of anyone else, and i’m running out of steam, so if you want to do it, then consider yourself tagged! :)

[franeridart]

dude your recent demon & angel kiribaku art reminds me a little bit of aziraphale and crowley from good omens!! like aziraphale would be angrier as baku obvs but still i thought of it and it made me happy lol

A lot of people have mentioned that in the tags/under the post and that makes me!!! super happy!!!! Good Omens is one of my fav books and Crowley one of my fav characters, so the comment feels nice! I wasn’t specifically thinking about them when drawing it, but possibly a bit I was influenced anyway!! I wonder if what made everyone think about them was Kiri’s sunglasses? It’s not noticeable but I did give him glowing eyes too after all haha

Anon said:Have you ever thought about how op a TodoBakuDeku fusion would be? (if they could stay together that is lol!)

Never thought of it tbh, but at this point I’m pretty sure with a lot of work on Baku’s part they’d be able to stick together long enough! He wouldn’t find it comfortable but they’d def be one of the strongest three-people-fusions in the class - not the strongest, tho, since they all have the same sort of straightforward offensive power when it comes to their quirks, I think I could find three people who’d make a stronger fusion... Baku Kiri and Momo, for example, would be even more impressive imho! Since all their quirks cover a different field, and their minds/personalities mesh well enough to have the right amount of planning and instinctive reaction/self-preservation and safety of others/pride and self-doubt/lawfulness and chaotic acting and so on. Even just as a team, without counting them as a fusion, I think they’d make one of the most balanced ones! Compared to that putting Todo Deku and Baku in the same place is just a recipe for disaster more often than not haha

Anon said:no, i move slow, I wanna stop time, I'll sit here til I find the,, inspiration to draw,,,,,,

LMAO it’s a song about art block after all, I feel every word in it a whole damn lot hahaha

Anon said:Art block or no art block, I love everything you come up with 💜

AW HECK ANON you’re so sweet!!! Thank you so much!!!!! ;O;

Anon said:Mixing thei hero names? So uuuh King Riot?

We still don’t know Baku’s hero name, so anything might be, really! It’s why I didn’t outright have Kiri mention any idea, I got no clue myself where he was going with it haha it’d be cool if his hero name were Ground Zero, because it’d mix well with Red Riot imho (Red Zero or Ground Riot or Red Ground, they all sound nice!) but what if Baku’s hero name ends up just being Katsuki, after all? How do you mix that with Red Riot? (the answer is Red Victory, or Akatsu!! from akai (red) + katsu !! ngl I’ve thought about this a lot lmao) anyway so many possibilities so little known facts!

Anon said:I love the details on Kiri and Baku's skin. Great job!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!

Anon said:!!!!!!!!!! fran oh my god your zine piece is so beautiful!!!!!!!

Sob thank youuu!!!! I’m glad you liked it!!!! ;O;

Anon said:i just got my zine and the art and writing was so lovely, i loved your comic at the end. an amazing way to end the zine♡

THANK YOU!!!! I’m jelly, I still haven’t gotten mine ;O; I hope the comic was easy to read even in printed form, I’ve been worried about that for months hahaha rip at least there’s the pdf

Anon said: i’m in love with your kiri bday art!!!! with the colorless art like that, are we allowed to color it? of course no posting it, but just for fun.

If you promise not to post it, I’m cool with it! Thank you for liking it enough to want to do that!!! Seriously tho don’t post it if you do

Anon said:Can you draw more kamisero? g u d q u a l i t y s h i p ma' dude.

Maybe? Currently it really isn’t between my top priorities but who knows

Anon said:FRANNNNN!!!! Your comic for the Take My Hand zine!!!! I'm gonna cry! It's so beautiful and the boys are so perfect! Your art is so amazing, I was so thrilled to see your piece. Not to mention the detail you put in. Their hands killed me! With Bakugou's palms and Kiri's arms! Ugh, I just can't, I love it so much.

I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKED THE HANDS it’s weird bc that one panel is probably my fav in the comic and I was so sure no one was gonna really notice it but!! So many people did!!!!! It makes me so happy oh man ;O;

Anon said:Hey coulda maybe make a traitor Kaminari comic?

Nope! No traitor arts here, sorry! SInce I don’t believe any of the theories to the point of finding them outright laughable, any art I could ever make about it would just come out looking either fake or ridiculous and no one wants to see that lmao

Anon said:your take my hand comic!!! it's so good!! thank you for doing the boys so well ;;;

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOUUUU!!!!!!!!

Anon said:I don't know if you remember, but a couple months ago I asked if it'd be okay for me to write something based on a few of your art pieces. Would that still be alright? Your art is gorgeous and makes my brain think and brings joy to me all the time ^^ would absolutely link to the art and credit you. that's not even a question :)

That still depends on which art you’re specifically talking about! And thank you so much for the compliment!!

Anon said:I don’t know if you read fan fiction, but I have one to suggest to you! It’s called, “It’s Obvious When You Lie”. Only three chapters are out so far, but it’s really good!

I’ll add it to my marked for later list then!! Thank you so much for the rec, I don’t easily try out ongoing fics so this was very nice of u!!!

Anon said:In the body switch AU Todoroki sees how fucked up Midoriya feels around Bakugou('s body?) and realizes wow fuck this guy has traumatized my bf. I wonder what I can do to fuck w/ him so the day before they switch back (So Bakugou can't do much in retaliation) he takes Bakugou's body and does the stupidest bullshit ever as revenge

HECK anon sorry but nothing like this would happen ever as long as I’m the one writing the AU! For three main reasons! One, I don’t think Deku is traumatized at all! His relationship with Baku at the moment is actually pretty damn neat and on equal footing, you go you two, growing so much!! Two, Baku and Todo are friends!!! And Todo would never be a dick to Baku instead of just talking to him, if he had a problem with him!! Three, even if one and two weren’t true, Deku has no need for knights in shining armor fighting his battles for him!! He’s a strong independent boy and if he hasn’t fought Baku over this it’s probs cause he doesn’t want anyone to fight him over it!!! Also in this specific AU Todo and Deku aren’t dating, so the scenario doesn’t work for me! Sorry!

Anon said:Have you ever thought about krbk wedding?

I have! And I’ve talked about it on here a few times too! Lately I’ve been thinking about it again tho, from a designs point of view, because!! There’s that very neat post going around tumblr about that wedding photos in which one of the two grooms has a white tux with a cape, and I’ve been thinking about a variation of it for Kirishima’s wedding suit :0 something red instead of white, but generally similar! It’s a lot of effort to draw it so I still haven’t, but yeh!!

Anon said:Hello! I read this fic about your cat comics and the author said to send you some love in their end notes so here is some well-deserved love: your art is beautiful! It's why I became interested in BakuShima and I would not have loved these characters as much if it weren't for you. You also seem to be a very nice person, your mind is beautiful and I am glad you exist

G O DS this is such a nice ask!!!! thank you so so much!!!! ;O;

Anon said:Non chiedo una risposta a questo messaggio, anzi. Volevo solo dirti che trovo la tua arte FANTASTICA, e non sai quanto i tuoi comic e tutto il tuo lavoro mi ha strappato più di un sorriso in brutti momenti. Sapere che sei italiana mi ha fatto totalmente impazzire. Continua così, hai del talento vero. E grazie!

NUHHHH GRAZIE A TE PER ESSERE COSI’ GENTILE OMFG !!!!!!!!!! ;A;

Anon said:Okay okay okay! I adore your art! Could you maybe... draw some KiriBaku fantasy? If it’s not too much to ask! It can be as simple as can be! Your art is just really cute!

Yes I can and yes I will!!! Definitely and in the near future, did you know one of the app games JUST revealed a fantasy wolf Baku as a special halloween chara?? It’s just fantasy Baku with wolf ears and tail, but he’s adorable and I’ve been wanting to draw him since I saw him this morning ;O; so cute!

Anon said:Pssst. Singer Baku, Guitarist Kami, and Drummer Kiri. A good hc if I do say so myself.

It IS a great thought!! Drummer Kiri and Singer Baku have always been a weakness of mine too, so heck!! What a good image! If we put Jirou on bass and vocals too and sero on keyboard and mina on guitar, you make my fav band right then and there hahaha

Anon said:I'm not in the BNHA fandom at the moment but your art still continues to give me the warm fuzzies

GODS ISN’T THIS A NICE ASK!! I’m happy I can make you enjoy even characters you’re not specifically into! Thank you so much for sticking around!!!! ;O;

Anon said:i just got into bnha and fell in love with your art, started going through your sketch tag, and then realize that youre the person who made a bunch of haikyuu comics i loved a while ago so im! very glad to rediscover your stuff!!

HOLY GODS THAT’S NEAT!!! Welcome back!!!! ;O;

Anon said:I love it when you draw kiri with his hair down 💕💕💕 so good, so pure 💕💕💕💕

Oh boy thank you!! ;O; he’s so much easier to draw with his hair spiked for me, knowing people like the way I draw his hair when down means a whole damn lot!! 

Anon said:Hello! First I love your account and artwork! Second will you ever be drawing Mako and Taiyou again? They are so adorable! Also Bakugou and Kirishima seems like amazing dad's!

Thank you!!! And yes I will! I have another ask around here asking about them, so maybe soon! Just gotta find the right idea to draw, I got a bunch but they’re all way too long for my curret attenton span level sadly hahaha rip

Anon said:lmaaaaooo my boi kaminari be having an emotional awakening

Kaminari is like, he’s always somewhere subconsciously known that Baku’s objectively pretty, but since he knows him so well and he’s always around him and most of the times they’re bickering and making fun of each other he’s never actually realized, so now he’s like oh, NOW I see it hahaha

Anon said:hi u probably get this enough but I wanted to give u all my appreciation for ur art thank u for sharing it with us I love everything u post ♡♡♡

THANK YOU!!!! It might be greedy of me but this sorta asks are never enough for me, so seriously thank you for taking your time to drop by and be so nice!!!

Anon said:Could you please draw more of the body swap au? Or what if a different pair of students were to switch?

I’m not gonna draw any other switch with other students, because before settling on Baku and Todo I went through a lot of possibilities and came to the conclusion that nothing would be as funny as Baku and Todo switched are (or at least nothing Horikoshi hasn’t already done himself lmao) so there’s that. I might draw more of them switched, but to be honest with you the only idea with that concept I have right now is Bakugou forgetting he’s suddenly taller and continuously walking into things around the dorms, so there’s that as well hahaha

[theambivalent]

Q & A

Recently I asked people in my IG story to submit Questions for a blog post. I had some interesting questions regarding veganism, comics and shows. 

Here are my answers 🙂  

Why are your IG stories getting more ‘vegan aggressive’?

So, before I went vegan, I used to hate vegans who were vocal, although I was never confronted personally by them... which, looking back now, I think was unfair. The mere notion of veganism was annoying because why? Because people were spreading memes about vegans who constantly announce they’re vegan? Even though I personally never witnessed that? Or... maybe because that was the thing that everyone does – single out the one that is different... I mean, I made absolutely no sense.  

I told myself when I first made the decision to go vegan, I'm not going to be the one everyone makes fun of. I hid my diet from my co-workers, and intentionally tried my hardest to NOT be vocal about it. And you know what? The second anyone found out about it, I was still criticized. ...STILL.

I didn’t realize how much vegans get criticized until I became one and people noticed it.  

I was constantly told...

If I happened to be tired one day –It's because I’m vegan, rather than my lack of caffeine

If my head ached – it's because I’m vegan, rather than being dehydrated

When I noticed a gray hair –because I'm vegan –like age has nothing to do with it?

So finally, I decided to not only confront those people who were putting me down because of my lifestyle, I started standing against them. I’m not picking fights with random people. I always show respect to those who respect me. However, when people are trying to back me into a corner, I will fight back, as anyone else would.  

I'm defending myself from those who criticize my life, and that’s something that I've never been confident enough to do until recently, because I've just always had social anxiety.  

In some occasions, I speak out against influencers who are making it seem like veganism is unhealthy for their own benefit – not to start drama – but because I feel it’s really hurting the movement and that could be disastrous for animal liberation. I really don’t draw my claws out unless I sense hostility.  

Otherwise, I'm a humble person, who understands that not everyone can see past the constant advertisements, posters, magazine ads and billboards that glorify the meat & dairy industry, and are shoved in our faces on a daily basis... after all, they are literally every-fucking-where … and I was once under that thrall myself because of that. So, I can sympathize.  

Do you prefer Beyond Burger or Impossible Burger?

Without hesitation I would choose Beyond Burger.

When I first tried both burger patties, I got a bit weirded out, because their texture, taste, and even the way it ‘bleeds’ just tastes and feels like real meat- it's kind of scary... for that reason, I don’t eat burgers too often.  

But overall, I love the thickness of the patty, taste and texture of Beyond Burgers way better.

I don’t really consider Impossible Burger to be vegan - I only consider it plant-based.  

Now, what the hell does that mean?  

It is Plant based because there are no animal products in it... But I don’t consider them cruelty free, or vegan, because they do test on animals when there’s absolutely no need to. Animal testing = Animal torture. They have verbally stated that they’re catering to the meat-eating population and have served actual dairy based cheeses with their product while lying about it. [see link here for details: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zoibL0mtkk ]

I do believe that [Impossible Foods] are trying to do a genuinely good thing by introducing a plant-based food to meat eaters, I just can’t take a bite out of an impossible burger now, without the thought in the back of my head of lab rats being exploited just so I can eat this. I have no problem with those who eat their products, that’s just how I personally feel.

That being said, even before Impossible foods changed their policy to include animal testing, I still considered Beyond Burger to be the better of the two, again due to the patty thickness and overall taste.

As a possible alternative, I hear the brand LIGHTLIFE is introducing burger patties too, so that’s another option for people who like the ‘realistic’ burger patties.

How do you feel about the comment that pesticides/herbicides and the plant harvesting machines kill small animals and therefore a plant-based diet still kills animals?

So, the thing about veganism is that less animals die as a result of that lifestyle change. So, allow me to yeild the question...What’s worse? Your standard American diet that contributes to billions upon billions of animals being raped, slaughtered, skinned & exploited for our fashion and taste buds...? ...or a plant based vegan diet where a few small animals and insects might be harmed by pesticides?  On the other hand a large percentage of the crops being grown are meant to feed the animals being sent to slaughter, so I really don’t see how this evens the odds here.

Of course, if there were a way to do this without harming even a fly, any vegan would opt for that option – and should that option arise, trust me, I –and most vegans- will make that change. But I personally think that using that to ‘refute’ the lifestyle- which some people do- is ridiculous & idiotic.

I’ve recently started growing my own strawberries, broccoli, limes, peppers and asparagus to take those items off my grocery list, and imo, they taste way better, and are not treated with pesticides. That only knocks a tiny percentage off my menu items list though...

Since my yard size is quaint & small, it’s not practical for me to create an entire home farm to feed myself when I can just go to the grocery store.  

How do you feel about the “ex-vegan" youtubers?

I think it’s very upsetting to have viewers being lied to by their influencers- some of whom stopped being vegan a long time ago, and lied about it for financial gain. It is disrupting the growth in the movement.

Most of these ‘ex-vegans’ have similar things in common:  

raw diets -a dangerous practice-  

Vegan for extreme weight-loss

alkaline water every single day

Juice detoxes for unreasonable amount of time

Did not take medication for gut health, then blamed said ailment on veganism

Water fasting for weeks at a time – with no food at all

Didn't consume enough calories

NONE of their videos talk about doing it for Animals

Over-restricted themselves, often only eating one thing, like papaya for example, for days at a time

The main issue here, is they weren’t eating well, and as a result got sick.  

To be clear... you can get sick from ANY DIET if you’re not getting the nutrients you need.  

Meat eaters, vegans, vegetarians, ... seriously whatever your diet may be– make sure you get the nutrients you need!

But the issue here is that they didn’t take responsibility for spreading the ‘weight-loss propaganda’ and pseudo medicine practices that got them sick in the first place, lied about not feeling well for the sake of their businesses, then proceeded to take money from people buying their programs... while they were feeling sick and potentially making other people sick! ...And none of them have given any refunds for their “meal plans”.

From the veganism movement point of view, the fact that they’re blaming everything on veganism, rather than their dangerous nutrient-lacking practices, is turning every one they’ve influenced away from veganism.  

Most of their influencers who genuinely wanted to go vegan for animals who could have gotten sick from these disgusting practices, are not only having failing health, but also feel helpless that they couldn’t do what they intended for animal liberation... and that’s very disappointing and makes me sad.

Vegan zombie made a video that shares my sentiments.  

See it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sK_pySNNFK0

Adding to that, how do you feel about the Raw Alignment Interview video?

So, the funny thing about this video is that she got caught in a lie... and she used this interview to sort of justify that lie, and then proceeds to reveal that she was lying some more.  

check these comments below:

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First, she says she stopped being plant-based 3 months prior, then 7 months (September). Another youtuber actually has proof that she messaged her asking about doing less vegan videos on her channel 2 years ago....??? Which she actually denies in this interview. Huh?  ...and then she admits she lied to a fellow vegan because she wasn’t ready to be ‘outed’? ..what?

I still feel left in the dark, and there are way too many contradictions in this video.  What she wanted to be a ‘redemption’ video turned into a sloppy attempt to hide more lies.

On top of that - the guy conducting the interview, claims to be a moderator, and yet is also an ex-vegan who believes that all vegans have digestive issues and are masking it to promote the movement.... um... huh? it’s completely one-sided.

The problem I have with this, is she’s justifying the practice of lying to her audience. IMO, that’s not fair to her audience, whether it has to do with veganism or not, because thousands of her followers were following her advice of only eating avocado with chips for a week straight or water fasting... she’s making people sick... and getting paid for it. It is very upsetting... I hate it when people lie, even more so when the health of other people are at risk.  

See interview video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcV4rUhitPI&t=1052s

What would you tell people who are afraid of going plant-based because of this “ex-vegan" drama?

I would say, do your research! Don’t follow just anyone on YouTube and blindly do as they say. You'll notice most of these fake influencers will tell you to eat one way because it ‘feels good’ rather than saying, ‘hey, this study from world health org proved this is good for you’.

I would also say, don’t be afraid! It's been proven so many times that plant-based foods are healthier and promote optimum health. The CDC, and the WHO have consistently found that meat, dairy and eggs contribute to high cholesterol, diabetes, & heart disease. Meanwhile, a vegan diet includes zero cholesterol, and has been shown to reverse heart disease!

I think a great YouTube channel to look out for is Gojiman because he’s got the nutrition education to give advice and is great at explaining why’s and the how’s. See his channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8zKmTVcs5s3IIR2DVlxfzA/videos

Also, when keeping in mind which influencers to follow – pay attention to the ones who talk about the animals. The ones that aren’t vegan mainly for health/weight-loss, tend to promote a way of eating that contains more daily nutrients and calorie intake. It's just a trend I’ve noticed.

Also, I have a lovely playlist of reactions, recipes, and detailed information on the lifestyle you can check out here:  

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLcJhPHQwnc_pcg0yQn2rMKPxAMcRLx4BR

Do you have family/friends who aren’t vegan? And how do you deal with them?

Yes! Lots! Haha; and I don’t really ‘deal with them’ in any way.  

They are aware that my husband and I are vegan, and they do joke about it.  

We take no offense, and usually they lay off when we don’t give a reaction.  

I have had talks with my parents about introducing more plants into their diets because they’re getting older and are trying to be healthier, but I don’t over-impose anything on them. I take vegan foods and they at least try them, which is awesome! They’re my family and I'll always care about them no matter what they eat.

When we have parties with friends, I usually bring something vegan, and they’ll try it and most of the time will love it and go back for seconds.  

It's actually not uncommon for vegans to have family and friends who are not vegan.  

So long as there is mutual respect for one another (at least vocally lol), we all get along quite nicely.  

I honestly don’t think I've met a real vegan who doesn’t genuinely care about someone who eats meat.

We're really not a judgmental bunch - I think that’s one of the things people assume about vegans, and it’s completely untrue.  

What is your favorite healthy meal???

Healthy meal... I love Buddha bowls! They're so easy to make and you can make several variations.

My fave Buddha bowl would consist of roasted Sweet potato wedges, quinoa with lime & hot sauce, sautéed edamame, and grilled kale with avocado ….and a sh*t ton of sriracha.  

It’s super filling and is a good source of iron, protein, potassium, magnesium, niacin, folate, lutein, beta-carotene, B vitamins, Vitamin A, B6, E, C, K, Calcium, riboflavin, phosphorus, and Omega 3 fatty acids.  

No joke- it contains all those nutrients, I just looked it up! 

The best thing is that you can make so many different versions of the Buddha Bowl, and I change it up every time!

I never opt for organic foods or gluten free... I just don’t really feel it making a difference in my body, or taste, so why not go for the more affordable items?

What is your favorite vegan junk food?

Pizza – hands down! Although I could order that in, I still love making it from scratch at home - I just love knowing exactly how much of what is going into it.  

We usually do plain cheese using ‘Follow Your Heart’ Parmesan, which melts really well, but every so often, I'll endulge and get some vegan pepperoni from the market.

My husband loves sweets, and I love savory... so, while my fave junk foods include vegan burgers, pizza, corn dogs, hot dogs, tamales, veg jerky.... his favorites include vegan donuts, cinnamon rolls, cakes, and pan dulce.

Do you miss any food since going vegan?

There is honestly a vegan version of anything these days... I'd have to say there isn’t anything I miss.

I've had vegan tamales, pozole, tacos, birria, bolillos, pan dulce, elotes and so much more (yes, I'm mexican- can you tell?).

The only thing I was missing for a while were hot cheetos, but last year I discovered a brand called ‘peatos’ which doesn’t exclusively make vegan chips, but their fiery hot flavor is vegan and fill the void it my heart that cheetos left …. so no. I'm not missing anything at all.

What’s your all-time favorite batman comic story arc?

Okay, so this is a complicated question... one of my top faves is ‘The Long Halloween’ because of the ending.  

Who knew Barbara Gordon could be so evil at a time when the Gotham series wasn’t out yet? That twist gets me everytime I re-read it!

I could easily say I love Crisis on Infinite Earths, Batman Hush, Death in the family, Superman Red Son, Under the Red Hood.... seriously my list is pretty long... but, I have to be completely me honest and some might hate me for saying this, but I actually do love the Flashpoint story arc. 

Flashpoint is kind of a touchy subject because it brought about the new 52 issues that divided some fans.  

But when you isolate the story of Flashpoint, it really gets insane, I mean, it wasn’t just thrown together for the sake of rebooting the universe. Barry Allen had a reason to try to change the past – his love for his mother.  

It sets off a course of events that creates an alternate reality where Bruce Wayne actually dies in the alley with his Mother and His Father, Thomas Wayne was the sole survivor of the mugging, leaving him to be an older, vengeful, blood-thirsty, gun-slinging Batman... and it’s just a nice contrast to the Batman we’ve always seen.  

Sure, take the costume away, and he’s basically the Punisher, but what makes this different, is that we don’t see Batman under that light very often.

Tie in the Amazon war against Atlantis and ...omg, does the drama ensue!  

Plus, that touching letter that Thomas writes to his son, that Bruce gets to read at the end …*cry* it’s so sweet! 

How are you liking the Titans & Doom Patrol series?  

So just so you know, DC Universe online is SO WORTH IT if you are into classic shows/movies and love to read comics – they have a huge collection you can read at your leisure. And the new series that they’re producing are all looking amazing!  

Okay, back to the shows....

I’m going to jump on Titans first...

BEAST BOY

OMG, they mention veganism with Beast Boy! Way to represent! Beast Boy has been a favorite of mine ever since the original teen titans animated series ...I’m going to be honest and admit here that I haven’t read any of the Titans comics before watching that series.  

I love his inclusion in the Doom Patrol. He is well written, with the exception of only being able to turn into a tiger for some reason? I’m hoping that in later seasons, he’ll somehow harness the power to change into tons of other animals as he does in every other incarnation of the character. It’s also weird that he’s not always green...? But appearance isn’t as important as his development. We see his struggles with his powers, especially when he kills someone as a tiger, and how he copes with that. His relationship with Raven feels authentic and for some reason not at all creepy, even though she looks like she’s 10 years younger than him. 

RAVEN

Raven is a bit of a different story, she dwelled further from the comics than usual... not knowing that she is part demon or who her father is, and not having the knowledge of where she’s from is different than the Raven stories that we’re used to... so it takes a while to get used to that idea – not to say that the show fails... but it’s a bit difficult to retrain your brain with these things sometimes. She seems exceedingly whiny at first, until I realized she’s just a teenager, and teenagers, let’s just face, can be very whiny indeed. We’re so used to seeing her as a ‘hardened’ persona; monotone and serious. This show, it feels like they just grabbed a normal girl and put makeup and a wig on her ...and- voila! She's Raven. It’s out of character, but for the sake of the storyline, it actually somehow works. 

ROBIN

Robin shows a fairly dark side that I think we’ve only seen in comics thus far; he is trying to prove himself capable of going solo and as a result tries to disassociate himself from Batman, stating that he doesn’t want to get to the tipping point that he believes Bruce has. I love his history with Dove and the struggle to strive to the best while keeping his head down. I like that he gets to see vigilantes from the cops’ point of views when they put down the idea of Robin coming into their neighborhood. He's a lot more well-rounded here with a bit more history, too. Not only are the Flying Graysons part of his story, but his love life and relationship with Batman play a vital role in his development.  

STARFIRE

At first glance of Star Fire, I had mixed reactions... “I hate that costume”, “why is she wearing fur?”, “why is her skin not orange?” ...and yes, some of that still kinda-sorta bothers me, but little by little, they’re bringing more of her backstory to light as the season progresses, and she ended up being one of my favorite characters.

I still think she should be able to fly, and I do miss how disconnected she is with human culture in other renditions of the character. But once again, this show makes it work, and I love it! 

Also, it looks like next season will give us a more comic-book inspired look to Starfire - so I can’t wait to see how that will turn out.

CYBORG

Why TF isn’t Cyborg in this?!

Oh... he’s in Doom Patrol?! 

So DOOM PATROL, is an interesting series... it’s weird, and just so random, and I actually really love it!

Anything that brings more of the lesser known comic characters will always be something I'd be interested in.

But the fact that this show is just as ridiculous as the comics, I think, is amazing.  

I mean, they gave us a donkey is being used as a portal...  go in the donkey’s mouth, and out his butt?  

A bunch of bad guys made of  dead skin and letters that were never sent...

Using beads dipped in sriracha for a protection spell...

You can’t get more ridiculous that that! This is typically something you only see in comic books and I love that it’s something that they don’t worry about making more realistic on this show, and that’s something that most show runners don’t take a risk in doing.

I can’t really dwell too much on this because I am not completely caught up with the show... but I definitely will be soon!

TITANS & DOOM PATROL – both great shows worth watching!

How excited are you for the JOKER movie?

I don’t think I could possibly be more excited. Joaquin Phoenix is an amazing actor (and vegan)!  

From the trailer it looks like they might be going with the Joker origin story from ‘The Killing Joke’?

However, I think it will purely be based on the development of the joker because it doesn’t look like they’re going to fast forward to the future where he shoots batgirl (and maybe rapes her?) and kidnaps Jim Gordon, and tries to make him break down.... at least nothing relating to that appeared on the trailer, but I guess we’ll have to wait until October to see.

What shows are you watching right now?

Other than Doom Patrol?

On HBO, I watch Veep & Barry and  ...in about a week, I'll be watching Game of Thrones – the anticipation is KILLING me!

On Netflix... I’ve seen part one of the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina ...I love the satanic visuals- so cool! Will be watching Part 2 soon.  

I also love the Punisher series, but we all know that’s not renewed – but it’s fun to re-watch.  

LOVE DEATH & ROBOTS is a great one that has beautiful animation and well, written short stories. 

I often go and re-watch ‘the office’ and the series ‘you’ as well.

Spanish shows I like include ‘Club de Cuervos’ & ‘Diablero’ 

Any new comics recommendations?

Border Town! Omg, I love it!  

Not going to explain... just go read it! ...you’ll see!  

I love writing reactions and answers to questions.

Thanks to those who contributed their questions on IG  

~Ambivalent Thought

[lumikinetic]

It's me, back with another DC Headcanon

This time, imagine an AU where, when all the heroes and villains are old, they retire and go legit but in their respective fields. If people aren’t on here, I either couldn’t think of something for them or I don’t like them.

Batman: Bruce uses Wayne Enterprises to open a whole bunch of stuff he used to become Batman. Opens a gym, yoga and meditation classes, funds criminology, psychology and chemistry courses at Gotham U, everything.

Nightwing: With funding from Bruce, he opens an acrobatics class and all the new students flip their shit at this like 70 year old man swinging from a trapeze 50 feet up with the grace of a swan and balance of a flamingo.

Oracle: I’m not really sure what Barbara would do once she’s retired to be honest, there’s so much. I quite like the idea of her being a college professor who teaches Sociology, but I think she might also teach martial arts for girls of all ages, perhaps co-run with Dinah. Or maybe join the GCPD where she eventually works her way up to Commissioner. One of those, I like college professor the most.

Red Hood: Jason, on his own, opens a gun store but with Bruce Funding, also purchases and renovates Ma Gunn’s Home For Wayward Boys. He’s also a part-time public speaker who goes around elementary schools giving lectures on gun violence.

Red Robin: Franchises with Starbucks then uses the money to open his own coffee shop and also a mattress store. DC, I’m begging you, let my trash son sleep, he needs it.

Spoiler: Stephanie starts her own fashion line called Purple Rain (yes, like the Prince song). It sells a bit of everything but the main focus is fitness clothing.

Robin: Obviously Damian opens a zoo. Did you expect anything less?

Black Bat: So I’m imagining all the Batkids are in their late 50s to early 70s so I think by this point Cassandra would have learned a few languages and she teaches kids all over the world how to speak as well as opening ballet classes in Gotham.

Signal: I don’t know a whole lot about Duke but I think he would have become a stand-up comedian, I could see him on a bar stage, telling just absolute brilliant jokes. And like, he'd reveal his identity to the public and just tell hilarious stories about working with the Batfamily

Catwoman: She'd sell all the jewellery she's stolen over the years and use the money to buy a beachfront mansion, and live out the rest of her days under the sun. Imagine John Mulaney pointing at Selina's retired life and going "this is the height of luxury!"

Alfred: I should like to think Alfred bought a plot of land and turned it into a park. It's got a big hill and he put a bench on top of it and he sat there twice a day - once to watch the sunrise and once to watch the sunset. Poison Ivy visited him sometimes and they talked about tending to plants. Alfred managed to live to 102 before passing away peacefully in his sleep.

Batwoman: Kate and Bruce were one of the last ones to retire from hero work before passing their mantles to younger generations. When she settled down, similar to Bruce, she used her wealth to open various chains and stuff, but instead of things people could use to become the next Batwoman, her franchises were more leisure focused. A string of gay nightclubs, restaurants, clothing stores where she sells Stephanie’s fashion line, things like that.

Huntress: I don’t know what Helena would do. Something religious based would be an obvious choice but I feel like she could do more. Open a restaurant maybe?

Julia: Julia moves back to London and opens a bat-themed bar.

Joker: The realisation kind of dawns on him that the end is fast approaching as he sees Batman and his kids get older and older, and it offers him just a touch of clarity. He lives the rest of his years killing Nazis as a sort of atonement and he dies in his 90s alone, but not quite as unloved as he would have been 60 years ago.

Scarecrow: Jonathan changes his identity and gets plastic surgery, taking up a professor position teaching psychology.

Bane: Bane opens up a gym and you bet he is absolutely a White Goodman type character. “Motivating” all his patrons through yelling at them via video on TVs all over the place.

Poison Ivy: Well of course she opens a flower shop! She builds a reputation as “nice old plant lady down the street” and everyone knows she’s the BEST for wedding flower arrangements. Occasionally she’ll give a tulip or a bluebell to a little girl who came into the shop that day.

Harley Quinn: Harley opens a kids’ party store right across the street from Ivy’s flower shop, and she’s just an absolute joy with the children, if a little inappropriate at times. They smile at each other through their shop windows from time to time.

Deathstroke and Deadshot: Open a military store together where all new recruits can buy basic supplies such as apparel, equipment, sewing kits (for the badges) and stuff. Deathstroke also runs a support group for vets and a advice group for rookies.

Ravager: Rose gets a job as a bartender at one of Kate’s nightclubs, eventually ending up running the place.

Riddler: Opens a store that sells all kinds on brain trivia stuff. Scrabble, Sudoku notepads, math books and equipment for school, puzzle based videogames, just everything.

Mr. Freeze, Captain Cold and Killer Frost: They buy Ace Chemicals, clean it out, clear everything, renovate it, get new equipment and turn it into an ice cream factory.

Superman and Lois: I think it’d be nice if they open a bookstore/coffee shop together.

Supergirl: I’m super into the idea that Kara is a fucking amazing cook and she comes onto the culinary scene and she does n o t stop. She’s always coming up with these crazy dishes and she actually has two houses, one where she lives and one that is basically just a kitchen where she experiments with food.

Superboy: Comic artist. You can’t change my mind.

Green Arrow: Archery store.

Black Canary: Record store.

Hawkman and Hawkgirl: They’d open a store that sells flight supplies. Parachutes, paragliders, hang gliders, hot air balloon rentals, stuff like that.

Aquaman: Water park

Aqualad: Kaldur would open a recreation centre for LGBT youths who are treated poorly in their home, so they have a place to stay for a little while at least. He’s joined with Jason’s orphanage so that he can call the police on the kids’ parents and give them a place to stay.

Starfire: Beach resort hotel

Condiment King: Diner

Wonder Woman: It’s always been a favourite headcanon of mine that Diana is secretly a MASSIVE nerd, and she opens a Forbidden Planet/D&D/LARPing store, and she takes it sooooo seriously. She crafts all the cosplay weapons herself and recommends good starter campaign books for tabletop games and she makes custom dice, gives GM tips, and holds and participates in various D&D nights for all the new heroes who are fighting crime these days (she is absolutely a gnome druid, fight me) and it’s the best.

Artemis: She also opens a bookstore, but it is specifically aimed at Egyptian and Greek mythology. Her usual patrons are college kids with their History and Ancient Civilisations papers, and when parents come in with their little kids, she tells stories about the gods and she absolutely relishes that little twinkle in their eyes.

Maggie Sawyer: After retiring as Commissioner, she trains the new police recruits. Every time new recruits come in at least 3 go, “heyyyyy, aren’t you married to that Kane lady?”

Every time.

That’s the best I can do. Tack on any more you can think of.

[crystalelemental]

FE Fates Replay - Part 4

Fun facts: I remembered having a difficult time with Chapter 8 when I first played this game, so I went in scared.  My initial attempt, I was severely over-leveled, and it wound up being hysterically easy.  So I tried again with a normal amount of leveling, and it still wasn’t too bad.  I’m not sure what past me was having such a difficult time with?  If I had to guess, I was really salty about not getting all the towns or something.  Flora being able to Freeze your units is rough, but Corrin with her Dragonstone was just so tanky she could take the upper path almost alone, while the rest of the team went straight across the lake.  Anyway, I bring that up because I started over from the decision point and got back here in like half an hour, so that was nice.  On to actual plot.

Chapter 7!  Having betrayed your birth family like the intelligent being you are, you now realize you failed to account for something really important: that your dad is fucking insane.  Garon immediately distrusts you, because you’ve been with the Hoshidans, so obviously you know the truth are consider them enemies.  Honestly, this isn’t too far out of left field yet.  Iago, however, is a putz.  “Ooh, I bet she’s a spy for the Hoshidans!”  Moron, what kind of spy for the enemy side waltzes in to the fucking throne room to chat up the king after knowingly conspiring with said enemy?  Garon’s also a moron though, so he kinda believes Iago, but doesn’t really push the issue.  At least, until Corrin decides to ask about the exploding sword thing.  Garon says he had no idea what it would do, which...okay, the obvious answer is he actually didn’t, but like...I have played this game before.  I know about Revelations, and about the soldiers from Valla, and that guy that exploded the sword seemed to be an invisible soldier from Valla.  So...maybe Garon’s not actually lying here?  We see in a moment that he’s kinda just following orders of his own, so maybe he’s not as on top of events as he lets on.

Anyway, when Corrin presses the issue, Iago goes on about his spy nonsense, and Garon falls for it entirely, ordering Xander to kill Corrin.  Yeah, that’ll go over great.  Xander, of course, refuses.  Everyone starts getting heated, until Garon announces that he’ll ask the great Anankos for guidance on this situation.  Anankos being some ancient dragon that the king apparently communes with, but no one, not even Xander or Iago, seem to know what the hell he’s on about.  Thankfully, Anankos states that Corrin may live, if she proves herself with a test.  She must suppress the Ice Tribe rebellion, and she must do it alone.  Everyone is fearful for Corrin, as a solo mission against an armed rebellion surely can’t go that well, but honestly?  I’m a dragon.  What are they gonna do?  Unless they’ve got Wyrmslayers, their asses are toast.

In order to reach the Ice Tribe, first we must go through the Forest of the Forlorn.  Which is apparently filled with Faceless.  Go figure.  Corrin gets herself immediately surrounded, and announces a problem with the Dragon transformation.  It apparently takes time to transform.  Which is why, you know, you can shift in and out of that form during combat.  It’s fine, don’t worry about it.  Jakob shows up, saves your ass, but is immediately reminded that she had to do this alone or it doesn’t count.  Of course, immediately after this, Garon does his bad guy thing of loudly soliloquizing about how he doesn’t trust Corrin and just wants her to suffer, so Xander, having some ounce of sense within him, takes matters into his own hands and arranges for Corrin to have back-up, in the form of four new units!

Silas is the first, and he’s your childhood friend you initially have no recollection of.  Corrin does eventually remember he exists, but nothing else.  I am really hoping support conversations explain how the hell this happened.  Elise also arrives, which is great because we can pretty much stop here.  For those who don’t know, when I first played the game, I was so sick of it by Revelations that I basically pumped Elise full of stat-enhancing items, turned her into a Dark Flier, gave her a high crit tome, and had her solo the game.  She’s really good, both as a unit, and as a character.  She’s your little ball of sunshine, and she’s hysterical.  Her retainers, Arthur and Effie, also arrive.  I remember not caring about these two first time through, but honestly?  They’re alright.  Arthur’s a bit clownshoes, but he’s a good guy and can be entertaining.  He mostly works by virtue of those around him, though.  Elise worshiping him as her idol makes a lot of sense, given her youth.  His interactions with Effie provide the knowledge that he takes his role seriously, but puts his duty to the common folk before his duty as a retainer.  Supports really drew out the interesting tidbits for him.  Effie, by contrast...is kind of exactly as “okay” as I remember?  I don’t have anything to dislike her by, she’s just not that interesting.  Comically strong and fiercely devoted to Elise, but that’s all she’s got going for her right now.

The chapter is really easy, but more unfortunate, there’s no boss on a throne so there’s no way to level grind yet.  Worse, the boss moves toward you, so you can’t mess around either.  I don’t remember a ton about the different routes, but I remember Conquest getting tough after a bit, so that’s not ideal.

I then went out of my way to get Mozu.  Her paralogue involves a small town being attacked by Faceless.  Everyone buy Mozu in the village is killed, and she’s hiding out in the woods, until Corrin hears the screams and comes running to the rescue.  Jakob advises that the town’s already gone and they shouldn’t waste time, but Corrin’s insistent on looking for survivors, so let’s get the map started.  Based on having only 6 units allowed in Chapter 8, but having 8 allowed in the Paralogue, I’m guessing you’re supposed to get Mozu after Chapter 8, but that’s dumb.  The paralogue is really easy, even with only six characters.  Effie and Arthur are more than capable of plugging the northern bridge, while Silas and Corrin decimate the path to Mozu.  The only difficult part of the map is getting Mozu any experience.  Fortunately, my Corrin was built with Dragon in mind, and dealt just shy of a clean OHKO on the Faceless enemies.  When paired up with Silas, Mozu was just strong enough to get the KO, allowing her to get some surprisingly decent levels.  Aptitude is such a nice skill.  Thank god for cheaters giving that skill out on everyone else, I tell ya.  After clearing out the Faceless, Mozu joins up because really, the hell else is she gonna do?  Everyone’s dead.  So, hooray for new recruits!

Now, Chapter 8.  A chapter that I remembered having an awful, awful time with.  Corrin and Co press forward, into the snowy north where the Ice Tribe is.  Jakob and Elise run ahead because they’re goobers (but they’re our goobers), leaving Silas and Corrin behind.  Corrin presses forward, but inevitably collapses.  She awakens in a bed, with the head of the Ice Tribe tending to her.  Apparently they have a strict “no trespassing” rule and were going to let her die, but they saw her sword and thought hey, that seems important, we should save her.  So, here you are.  Corrin almost spills the beans on her identity, but Silas successfully plays defense, reminding Corrin that there’s a rebellion going on, and they might not take too kindly to Nohrian royalty in their village.  Enter the rest of your bumblefuck party, as well as Flora, who obviously recognizes you instantly.  Elise...dear, sweet, stupid Elise...announced they’re here to suppress a rebellion, commenting that she thought suppress meant to sit down and have a nice meal and talk things over.  Naturally, the Ice Tribe immediately gets ready to throw down, and you’re treated to a pretty interesting, but fairly difficult, map.

The map is a frozen lake in the center, and five houses around it.  The soldiers for the Ice Tribe will be going to the villages, and announcing that there are Nohrians present.  If the spear soldiers reach the villages first, more enemies appear.  If you reach them first, no enemies appear.  Now, ordinarily, I’m all about the delicious, delicious experience, but you’re given a free warning about rewards for getting to more houses than they do.  If you get to three of the five, you get the most rewards.  I think it’s three out of five because that’s realistically all you can get to without serious power-leveling through DLC.  One of them is outright impossible.  You can’t cover enough distance, and the soldier is right there, as a demonstration of what happens.  That said, it’s still kind of a high pressure map.  The soldiers that escape the first village they contact are set up in such a way that the soldier is well defended, so you have to be tough enough to punch your way through, or be able to go around and handle everyone that comes after you next turn.  But keep in mind, the other side of the lake has two of the villages as well, and a separate soldier slowly making his way there.  Your force needs to be divided in two: one faction heading north to handle the first guard before he reaches the northern village, and one heading directly west to intercept the far west village before the other solider.

Thankfully, you get two more allies to help!  Niles, who...ugh.  UGH.  And Odin!  Those of you who played Awakening may know Odin better as Owain, Lissa’s son!  How the hell did he get here?  Deeprealms.  No, we would not care to elaborate further.  Odin is a bit more...ridiculous, than he was as Owain.  Like, they’re still very much the same, but there’s some difference I can’t quite put my finger on.  Maybe as I get supports with him I’ll figure it out.  Niles, though?  He annoys me.  Very little is going to sway me out of that.  While Odin’s a goon who wants to show off his power and the usual melodrama he produces, Niles seems actively cruel.  Corrin orders them not to kill anyone, and Niles’ interpretation of that is “So I can hurt them as much as I want, but can’t kill.  That’s a neat challenge.”  He just seems mean-spirited overall.

Now, the map effectively has two bosses.  Flora’s here.  She doesn’t move, but she has the Freeze staff, which locks a unit in place.  So, let’s suppose, for a moment, that Silas tries to run straight to the west village.  As soon as he’s in staff range, Flora locks him down.  Now, you can still beat the soldier to the village, but the problem is...he gets to the one above you as you arrive.  So now Silas is alone, and surrounded.  Odin and Niles help a lot here.  Honestly, I think the reason I had a hard time the first time I played was not using the pair up system correctly.  See, in Awakening, you got all the benefits in one through Pair Up.  But in Fates, they actually did a smart thing and broke it into two types of pair up: offensive, where you occupy adjacent spaces, and defensive where you occupy the same space.  Defensive allows for the stat increases of the main unit, and a gauge fills that allows a guaranteed block from the unit in the back.  Offensive allows for follow-up attacks, guaranteed, as long as the attacking party isn’t defensively paired.  If you have a defensive backup, you can’t get another unit adjacent to you to also attack.  So there’s a give and take.  Knowing me, I probably wanted to be defensive to not immediately die, and defensively paired them up, which led to too little damage in a short amount of time.  Offensive is much better, especially since Niles has surprisingly nice resistance.  In combat, Flora’s fairly tough, but Effie and Corrin, and even Arthur if he’s doing good with levels can handle her easy.  I had Corrin do it.

The boss of the map, though?  He’s what we’ve been waiting for: a fairly frail map on an auto-healing throne, also with a tome that heals him.  Glory be, I thought this day might never come!  Time to farm out those levels, team!  Elise got some excellent levels because she’s a good girl who’s done nothing wrong.  Niles, Effie, Arthur, and Silas got some okay ones, while Odin is basically dead to us now!  Everyone’s level 10 or above, which means it’s go-time.  Really, the boss isn’t hard to handle.  Niles with a pair-up that gives any form of resistance means the boss can’t even hurt him.  So if you need cheese, there you go.

Once suppressed, Corrin tells Elise to go heal up the wounded on both sides.  The Ice Tribe leader, impressed by Corrin’s kindness, agrees to halt the rebellion for the time being, believing that she will be the one to put an end to the hostilities and give the Ice Tribe their autonomy back.  Flora also comments that she would like to renew her vows of servitude to Corrin.  There are hints that Flora never really liked Corrin, and had always planned on some kind of betrayal, but she’s been won over by Corrin’s honest display.  Personally, I think it’s bullshit that Flora doesn’t just join you here, but I guess we have to make My Castle relevant somehow.  The townspeople also thank you for warning them of the conflict, helping to keep them save, and give you what is probably their lifetime earnings in the form of 10,000 gold!  See, everything worked out great!  The Ice Tribe rebellion is over, everyone’s alive and happy, and nothing bad happened at all.  “Garon told you to do it alone and you didn’t so he’s gonna be pissed when you get back.”  AT ALL!

With that, we await the next part where we face Garon’s wrath.  If he’s lucid, anyway.  Hard to tell with that guy.  So far, I’m still not having much to complain about with the game.  The story can be a little heavy-handed.  Mostly I’m talking about Garon and Iago, who are just so transparently evil, and aren’t even really trying to make sense about it.  I can get Garon being suspicious of Corrin coming back after learning the truth, but their explanation for not trusting her and then his insistence on just wanting to make her suffer is just silly for anyone that’s meant to be taken seriously as a villain.  They’re just a bit too ridiculous.  I will mention that the Conquest maps, thus far, are pretty decent.  Chapter 7 and Paralogue 1 are pretty standard “Clear the map” ones, but Chapter 8 is sufficiently inventive.  I actually like how it’s designed to have you not just clear the map, but have little sub-objectives built in that can make the map easier or harder for you.  We’ll see how things keep up.

[killer-barnes]

Helpless

Peter Parker x Reader

Request: Yes

Summary: Peter meets the Reader at Homecoming and things ensue from there. 

Word Count: 3723

Warnings: language, puppy love Peter, kissing (on le cheek), this is just a major load of fluff (you have been warned), love at first sight (aka rushed).

A/N: Allllright, I feel so bad that it has taken me THIS long to post something. It’s been a messy last couple of weeks, so thanks for staying with me! I hope you enjoy anon, and I hope I did the song justice! *Also if this is close to anyone else’s fic, that wasn’t my intention. Forgive me pls (you can ask me to change/take it down if need be). (P.S. Y’ALL THIS GIF PART OF THE MOVIE THO) Enjoy!

Based on the song ‘Helpless’ from Hamilton (upon request).

Listen to the song here

High school is one of those things you either hate or enjoy. It’s not that Peter necessarily “hated” high school, he just had troubles of fitting in the right crowd, talking to girls, and never failing any class he’s taken throughout his high school career, so far. In a way, it’s like college. In order to get the full experience and get yourself out there, people always say to join clubs, take interesting classes, and go to events. Peter, however, being the shy, awkward teenager he is, never really felt like putting himself out there as much as he should of. Yeah, he was apart of a few clubs, but after a while, he wasn’t as interested as he was when he joined.

He had joined them merely because Ned forced him to be apart of something, even if it was beyond nerdy. Peter was glad Ned gave him a little nudge, but at the same time, he just wanted to go home with Aunt May and play some stupid video game or update the latest computer he’s been working on.

But the worst thing of all to him is not just fitting in, or being ignored by his crush. It’s school dances that terrify him. One in particular was creeping up the corner and it’s one that everyone goes to.

Homecoming.

Ned of all people know about Peter’s inevitable fear of going to school dances. They’ve been to plenty in middle school and each have had their fair share of horrible experiences, Peter’s definitely outweighing Ned’s by a long shot. He knows it’s ridiculous to be “afraid” of dances, but everyone has their weird fears, right? Peter knew that Ned would talk about this year’s Homecoming, but wouldn’t pressure Peter into going if he wasn’t comfortable with it.

Walking out of calculus with his backpack hanging loosely off his shoulder, Peter heads towards his locker to grab some extra books before heading to the cafeteria for lunch. Keeping his head low and trying to avoid any lurking bullies, Peter makes it through the line in the cafeteria and heads to his usual table where Ned is already there, intently reading some random comic book he keeps stashed in his backpack.

“You’re seriously reading that again, dude? What’s that, like, the 12th time now?” Peter questioned as he took a seat across from his best friend.

Ned scoffs, “excuse you, the Spiderman comics are beyond genius. You’re just jealous of his smoothness and agility.”

Rolling his eyes, Peter takes a bit of his food, but quickly chokes as he sees Liz set up the Homecoming sign in his direction. Sensing Peter’s staring and gawking, Ned directs his attention towards Peter’s.

“So… Homecoming?” Ned asks, with amusement in his voice.

For the past few high school dances, the both of them usually hang at each other’s place and play random video games or rebuild different lego Star Wars sets until they can’t stay awake any longer.

Whipping his head back, Peter widens his eyes, “w-what? N-No! I was looking at Liz. I-Is that a new top? I think it’s a new top…”

Ned turns his gaze towards Liz, “hmm, no. I think she’s worn it before. I remember the pattern… Hey! You should ask her to Homecoming!”

With that, Peter stares back at Ned with flying emotions, he think he might faint.

“Are you serious, Ned? No way in hell am I ever going to be able to do that! Who do you think I am, some sort of smooth-talking Spiderman?!”

“Eh, it was worth a shot,” Ned chuckles.

Walking out of their last period, Ned and Peter head towards their lockers to pack up for the end of the day and grab the necessary books they need for homework. Peter couldn’t wait to get home and relax. He barely got any sleep last night due to his constant building of tech and rambling of unnecessary thoughts. A slam of a locker next to him brought Peter out of his head as he and Ned begin the trek to his apartment to work on some homework and possibly bust out a new video game they’ve been dying to play.

As Ned and Peter make their way towards Peter’s apartment, they stop by the Deli-Grocery on the corner a few steps away from his place. After ordering themselves their specialty sandwiches, they grab a few packets of candy. Once they’ve paid, they continue on their way until they arrive at Peter’s.

“Aunt May! I’m home and have Ned with me,” Peter shouted, while throwing his backpack on the empty couch.

Hearing nothing in return, he assumed she was out shopping for dinner tonight. Ned followed Peter as they made their way towards his room. It’s nothing too big, just a quaint room with a window, desk, and bunk bed. Peter didn’t need much to have fun.

“Alright, dude. I know we’ve been waiting, like, forever to build the Death Star, so guess what I brought…” Ned sang, as he slowly pulled out the container from his backpack.

Peter gasped. “Dude, what?! No way! Your mom let you get it? Hell yeah. Wanna build it now?”

“Well, YEAH. Let’s do it!” Ned exclaimed, opening the package quickly.

After about a few hours of geeking out over the Death Star and finishing almost all the packets of sweets, Peter and Ned completed the Lego set. Both utterly content with the time spent. As they were talking about which ship is better in the movies, the front door opened.

“Peter! I’m home, but I didn’t have time to get dinner, so want to go to that Thai restaurant inste-”

Aunt May stopped as she approached Peter’s door, realizing Ned and him were hanging out. Opening it, she saw a completed lego set and a few scattered candy packages.

“Oh, hey May!” Ned smiled.

“I should’ve expected you to be over here! Would you like to join Peter and I for some Thai?” Aunt May asked, glancing towards Peter.

“A-Actually Ned has a project to do, so he can’t stay, right Ned?” Peter quickly replied, glaring at Ned’s stare towards his aunt.

“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow at school. Bye May!” Ned sighed, as he left the apartment.  

“Alright, Pete. Let’s go get some dinner,” Aunt May sighed, picking up her purse from the kitchen counter.

“So, how’s school going? How’s that academic decathlon?” Aunt May inquired, taking a bite from her Thai.

She is met with silence as she see’s a tired Peter moving his fork around in his food. He’s too inside his own head to hear her questions.

“Peter.”

Snapping his eyes up, he looks at Aunt May who is giving him a concerned look.

“W-What? Sorry.”

Sighing, she glances towards her plate. “Are you doing okay? I just wanted to know how school was going.”

Rubbing a hand across his face, he mumbles, “yeah, everything’s fine. Just been lacking some sleep lately. A lot is going on at school right now.”

“Hmm, I see. Remember to take care of yourself Pete. You shouldn’t work yourself too hard, okay?”

With a nod of his head, they fall back into a silence for a few minutes.

“Hey, isn’t Homecoming this weekend?” Aunt May questioned.

With a groan and roll of his eyes, Peter grunted a low ‘yes’.

‘Well, are you going to go?”

“Uh, n-no. I don’t really fee-”

“What?! No. You have to go, Peter! It’s a blast. Bring Ned with you!” Aunt May exclaimed, slightly angry he doesn’t want to go. “Be one with the teens!” she added.

Covering his face with his hands, he groans at her humorous enthusiasm.

“Great, first Ned. Now, you? I definitely can’t get out of this one,” Peter mumbled.

“You’ve got that right. Don’t worry, I’ll take you to go get a nice suit, okay?”

Sighing, he nods, “alright, but I don’t expect to have any fun.”

Chucking, Aunt May rolls her eyes.

“You know I larb you, right?”

“Maaaay.”  

A few days later, Aunt May and Peter went out to get a suit like she had promised. It was just a simple black suit, but made him look clean and out of this world gorgeous. He was definitely going to save it for other important events. It’s too fancy to get rid of! Peter had called Ned the night Aunt May had forced him to go to Homecoming, to join him so he wouldn’t be a loner or make a fool of himself. Of course, Ned was ecstatic. He’s been wanting to go to a Homecoming dance since freshman year, even though it wasn’t allowed. However, being Juniors, they were able to attend. Last year, they never went because apparently a Star Wars marathon was much more important, no matter how many times they’ve seen them. So, it’s Ned’s time to shine this Homecoming and he is desperate to make sure Peter has enough fun to want to attend next year as well. Hell, maybe even attend prom? Who knows.

“Isn’t it stupid to go to a dance without a date? This is lame, Ned,” Peter complained, as he closed his locker for the last time today.

“C’mon, Pete. We don’t need dates! We can ride solo together, alright? Please, just go this time with me. I didn’t get to go last year because of you,” Ned accused.

“Y-You said you didn’t want to! What the hell, man?”

“Hey, I just didn’t want you to feel bad. I knew you’d be sitting at home probably watching a sappy romance movie by yourself. You’re lucky I didn’t let that happen,” Ned shot back defensively.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Peter waved, turning around to exit the front of the school.

This is going to be a fucking nightmare.

As Peter is putting the last finishing touches to his slicked back hair, he hears a knock at the door, it probably being Ned.

“Don’t you look handsome, Ned! C’mon in, Peter is almost ready… Right, Peter?!” Aunt May yells to get his attention.

“Coming!” He grudgingly replies.

He exits his room, seeing Ned and Aunt May having a conversation on the couch. However, once Ned see’s you, he perks up from the couch and heads in your direction. Wearing a suit that definitely fits his personality, Peter grins at his friend’s confidence.

“You look great, dude! I dig the tie,” Ned complemented, taking Peter’s tie in his hand.

“Same to you, Ned. Definitely not afraid to try something extravagant,” Peter chuckles.

“Alright, you two. Picture time!” Aunt May sings, swinging a camera in her hands.

Taking a look at each other, Ned and Peter groan loudly.

After being at the dance for a few hours, Ned is off with a couple of other people, Michelle included, dancing on the gym floor. Peter, however, stood there awkwardly for the past few songs, getting glaring looks from Ned. He was an awkward dancer no matter what he did. So instead of making Ned even more frustrated, he decided to go get some punch. As he arrived to the punch table, he saw an array of different foods. As he finishes filling up his punch, he grabs a plate and picks up a few random snacks so he has something to do. Once he’s content with his choices, he finds an empty table to sit at.

Well, this is better than I expected.

I guess…

He thinks, taking a bite of the chocolate loaded brownie.

About 20 minutes later, his plate is empty and he is still sitting at the same table, but this time he’s playing some random game on his phone to kill time. Ned is still kicking it out on the dance floor. Since he feels bad for making Ned go through his struggle with dances, Peter doesn’t push to disturb him.

As you enter into the gym wearing the outfit you’ve been dying to wear all week, you are hit with the smell of sweaty teenagers and the sound of stereotypical school dance music.

These things never change.

You think, with a roll of your eyes.

However, out of the corner of your eye, you see a boy sitting by himself on his phone, probably bored out of his mind. You knew that would probably be you in a few hours, so you felt what this guy was feeling. You wanted to go talk to him, but knowing you, you couldn’t do it. Even just going to this dance was an effort. You’ve never been one to do these sort of things, so getting out of your comfort zone was new to you. As of now, you didn’t like it. You just wanted to go home and snuggle up on the couch, binging a show you’re too far behind on.

Hearing one of your friends try and gain your attention, you realize you’ve been staring at this guy for way too long. Good thing he didn’t look up from his phone. How embarrassing would that be, oh god. Your friend follows your stare, smirking to see your heart eyes at Peter Parker.

“C’mon, let’s go dance!”

Peter’s phone eventually died from playing on it too long, causing him to let out a long, depressing sigh. Ned had stopped by a few times to make sure he was okay and asked if he would come dance, but Peter being himself, declined, knowing that Ned was fully aware of his horrid dance skills. Ned just wants him to have fun, but this is anything but a fun time for Peter.

Getting tired of sitting alone and doing nothing, Peter looks through the crowd to see if he can spot Ned. However, instead of seeing Ned, Peter sees the most beautiful person he’s ever laid eyes on. He swears he stopped breathing for a few seconds. He’s never seen them before…

Look at those eyes…

Man, they’re leaving me helpless at the sight!

Who are they?

He thinks, totally forgetting about finding Ned, instead too entranced by this mysterious person.

Your feet started to ache after a couple of songs, mostly due to your inability to dance. Your friend started to notice you lagging on enthusiasm, so they decided to make a food and drink run with you to boost your momentum. When you both arrived at the table, you were surrounded by several different foods. The desserts grabbed your attention the most as you stacked a few brownies and cookies on top of each other. While you did this, your friend was smirking towards Peter, who has been gazing at you ever since you arrived to the food table. Your friend could sense his longing to talk to you, but was hesitant to do so. They knew Peter and what he was like since they had most of their classes with him. So, your friend decided to do you both a favor.

“Hey, Y/N? I’ll be right back, okay? Load up on some cookies for me!” they exclaimed with a huge smile on their face.

Looking back at them with a stuffed brownie in your mouth, you mumble an ‘okay’ as you see them walk towards the boy you’ve been eyeing all night. Panic suddenly erupts inside of you.

Oh god.

What are they going to do?!

Fuck…

After a couple minutes of anxiously waiting for your friend to return, you down some punch to calm your nerves, which only made them worse as you saw Peter and your friend walk their way to you.

Oh, no no no.

I think I’m going to puke, he’s so cute the closer he gets!

How is that POSSIBLE?!

Please don’t make a fool of yourself, Y/N, please.

Peter tries to control himself, but he can’t. You’re just too cute! 

Oh, god.

They looks so cute stuffing their face with food.

How can that be cute?!

Peter’s thoughts are cut off as he see’s your friend make their way towards him with a wide, bright smile on their face.

He recognized your friend since he literally had every class with them, but neither of them had the chance to talk to each other.

“Hey, Peter! How’s it goin’?” they asked, cheerfully.

“O-Oh, uh- it’s going good. How are you?” Peter stutters, confused as to why they are talking to him.

“That’s good, that’s good… I’m doing great! Wanna come with me for a second?” they begin, pulling Peter away from his table before he even has a chance to speak a word.

As Peter and your friend reach the table where you’re at, he begins to gaze at you in even more shock of viewing you up close. He cannot believe he’s never seen you before! If he did, he would never forget your face, that’s for sure.  

“Alright, Peter, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is Peter. Now, you both have been eyeing each other all night. So, I’m going to leave you two alone. Get to know each other, bye!” they explained, giving Peter and you the biggest smirk as they walked away.

Looking nervously towards you, Peter rubbed the back on his neck, unsure of what to say.

“S-So, uh- would, would y-you like to dance, t-to dance o-or something?” he stuttered, blushing madly since he knew he would make a fool of himself. But he didn’t know what else to do!

You blushed, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear, “u-uh, I’m not really much of a dancer. W-Would you maybe want to go hang out s-somewhere?”

Taking a big sigh of relief, Peter nervously smiles, “o-of course. I-I think the library is closed, b-but maybe we can sneak in? Is that okay?”

Seeing your nod of approval, Peter grabs your hand and directs the way to the secret library adventure. Peter couldn’t believe he was doing this with you. Like, holy shit? He just met you and you were already taking his breath away, literally. His heart was beating so loud he thought anyone several miles away could hear it. He didn’t want to fuck this up.

Oh, shit.

I can’t believe this is happening!

He’s so sweet…

I wonder if he can hear my heart beating a million miles a minute?

God, I’m so nervous.

Your thoughts are interrupted by Peter opening the locked library door, surprisingly easy. You both made your way in, making sure to keep the lights off in case anyone came walking by. There was a little light peeking through anyways from the homecoming dance lights. After picking a random aisle to sit down in, you both take a cookie from the monstrous pile you brought along.

“So…” Peter began.

“So…”

Fast forward a few hours later, you and Peter are still in the library talking up a storm about random things. He discovered that you are just of a nerd as he is and you found out how much you both have in common. It was amazing to find someone like him. It’s leaving you helpless at the thought of not being with him. You cannot believe the impact this boy has had on you for the past few hours you’ve known him.

Checking the time, your eyes widen.

“Oh, fuck! It’s almost 1 AM? I need to get home. I’m sorry, Peter,” you apologize, looking at him with nervous eyes.

“O-Oh, right, uh- c-could I maybe, y’know, walk you home?” Peter stutters, adorably.

Blushing madly, you give a nod and a smile.

What is this boy doing to me?!

Walking out of Midtown High, Peter and you walk side by side as you both venture to your apartment only a few blocks away. Out of the corner of his eye, Peter see’s you shivering a bit due to the crisp night air. Slouching the suit jacket off, he gently places it on your shoulders, seeing you instantly cuddle into it. He smiles at the thought of you snuggled up into his arms, absorbing his warmth and comfort.

After a few random, humorous conversations, you both are only a few blocks away from your apartment. You honestly do not want the night to end. It’s been one of the greatest nights you’ve had in a very long time. It’s the same for Peter, too. He’s been a hermit at his apartment with Aunt May for god knows how long. He just never felt like going out. He really only hung out with Ned.

Walking up towards your door, Peter grabs your hand gently.

You look back at him confused. He looks at you nervously before opening and closing his mouth a couple of times.

Taking a big breath, he begins, “I-I just wanted to let you know– let you know that I had a lot of f-fun with you t-tonight. A-And I would love to do it again, if y-you uh– if you want to, that is,” he closes his eyes for a brief moment before continuing, “I-I know I’m not the most athletic, richest, o-or y’know, most attractive guy a-around, but I just think that y-you’re amazing a-and beautiful and a blast to be– to be around. Oh, god. I’m rambling. I-”

Both you and Peter are confronted by your father, who unexpectedly opened the front door.

“Oh, there you are, Y/N. I was just about to ca– who’s this?” your dad questions, looking towards Peter with that intense “dad” stare.

“T-This is Peter, Dad. He walked me home from the dance since it was late…” you replied, glaring at your dad.

“H-Hi, sir. P-Peter, Peter Parker, sir. I-I was just taking Y/N home. Uh-”

“Ah, no worries, kid. Thank you for bringing Y/N home safely. I’ll leave you both to it, alright? But remember, I’m right behind this door,” your Dad warned.

Covering your face with your hands, you groan.

“Alright, thanks. You can leave now!”

Chuckling, he shuts the door behind him, leaving you and Peter in an awkward blushing silence.

‘So…”

“So…”

“Oh, god. Not this again,” Peter says.

Giggling at this awkwardness, you reply, “thank you for tonight, Peter. It really was a dream come true and I’m so glad I met you.”

Taking a bold move at the last second, Peter leans in to peck your cheek ever so softly, bringing a rosy red tint to the both of your cheeks instantly.

“You are the dream, Y/N and I’m helpless without you.”

A/N: I know the POV may be confusing, so I’m sorry about that. I just hate putting “Y/N’s POV,” etc. If it’s hard to understand, let me know. Also I’ve been having a really bad writer’s block, so hopefully this is at least a 3/10 ?? Crossing my fingers *nervous laughter*.