#they still get fucking banned from entering the country

[vanishingpals]

going insane at this entire thread everyone in this thread is literally hating on asians??? i’m also going insane knowing that people STILL don’t think asians experience racism in america

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Apple fucked us on right to repair (again)

Today (September 22), I'm (virtually) presenting at the DIG Festival in Modena, Italy. Tonight, I'll be in person at LA's Book Soup for the launch of Justin C Key's "The World Wasn’t Ready for You." On September 27, I'll be at Chevalier's Books in Los Angeles with Brian Merchant for a joint launch for my new book The Internet Con and his new book, Blood in the Machine.

Right to repair has no cannier, more dedicated adversary than Apple, a company whose most innovative work is dreaming up new ways to sneakily sabotage electronics repair while claiming to be a caring environmental steward, a lie that covers up the mountains of e-waste that Apple dooms our descendants to wade through.

Why does Apple hate repair so much? It's not that they want to poison our water and bodies with microplastics; it's not that they want to hasten the day our coastal cities drown; it's not that they relish the human misery that accompanies every gram of conflict mineral. They aren't sadists. They're merely sociopathically greedy.

Tim Cook laid it out for his investors: when people can repair their devices, they don't buy new ones. When people don't buy new devices, Apple doesn't sell them new devices. It's that's simple:

https://www.inverse.com/article/52189-tim-cook-says-apple-faces-2-key-problems-in-surprising-shareholder-letter

So Apple does everything it can to monopolize repair. Not just because this lets the company gouge you on routine service, but because it lets them decide when your phone is beyond repair, so they can offer you a trade-in, ensuring both that you buy a new device and that the device you buy is another Apple.

There are so many tactics Apple gets to use to sabotage repair. For example, Apple engraves microscopic Apple logos on the subassemblies in its devices. This allows the company to enlist US Customs to seize and destroy refurbished parts that are harvested from dead phones by workers in the Pacific Rim:

https://repair.eu/news/apple-uses-trademark-law-to-strengthen-its-monopoly-on-repair/

Of course, the easiest way to prevent harvested components from entering the parts stream is to destroy as many old devices as possible. That's why Apple's so-called "recycling" program shreds any devices you turn over to them. When you trade in your old iPhone at an Apple Store, it is converted into immortal e-waste (no other major recycling program does this). The logic is straightforward: no parts, no repairs:

https://www.vice.com/en/article/yp73jw/apple-recycling-iphones-macbooks

Shredding parts and cooking up bogus trademark claims is just for starters, though. For Apple, the true anti-repair innovation comes from the most pernicious US tech law: Section 1201 of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA).

DMCA 1201 is an "anti-circumvention" law. It bans the distribution of any tool that bypasses "an effective means of access control." That's all very abstract, but here's what it means: if a manufacturer sticks some Digital Rights Management (DRM) in its device, then anything you want to do that involves removing that DRM is now illegal – even if the thing itself is perfectly legal.

When Congress passed this stupid law in 1998, it had a very limited blast radius. Computers were still pretty expensive and DRM use was limited to a few narrow categories. In 1998, DMCA 1201 was mostly used to prevent you from de-regionalizing your DVD player to watch discs that had been released overseas but not in your own country.

But as we warned back then, computers were only going to get smaller and cheaper, and eventually, it would only cost manufacturers pennies to wrap their products – or even subassemblies in their products – in DRM. Congress was putting a gun on the mantelpiece in Act I, and it was bound to go off in Act III.

Welcome to Act III.

Today, it costs about a quarter to add a system-on-a-chip to even the tiniest parts. These SOCs can run DRM. Here's how that DRM works: when you put a new part in a device, the SOC and the device's main controller communicate with one another. They perform a cryptographic protocol: the part says, "Here's my serial number," and then the main controller prompts the user to enter a manufacturer-supplied secret code, and the master controller sends a signed version of this to the part, and the part and the system then recognize each other.

This process has many names, but because it was first used in the automotive sector, it's widely known as VIN-Locking (VIN stands for "vehicle identification number," the unique number given to every car by its manufacturer). VIN-locking is used by automakers to block independent mechanics from repairing your car; even if they use the manufacturer's own parts, the parts and the engine will refuse to work together until the manufacturer's rep keys in the unlock code:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/24/rent-to-pwn/#kitt-is-a-demon

VIN locking is everywhere. It's how John Deere stops farmers from fixing their own tractors – something farmers have done literally since tractors were invented:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/05/08/about-those-kill-switched-ukrainian-tractors/

It's in ventilators. Like mobile phones, ventilators are a grotesquely monopolized sector, controlled by a single company Medtronic, whose biggest claim to fame is effecting the world's largest tax inversion in order to manufacture the appearance that it is an Irish company and therefore largely untaxable. Medtronic used the resulting windfall to gobble up most of its competitors.

During lockdown, as hospitals scrambled to keep their desperately needed supply of ventilators running, Medtronic's VIN-locking became a lethal impediment. Med-techs who used donor parts from one ventilator to keep another running – say, transplanting a screen – couldn't get the device to recognize the part because all the world's civilian aircraft were grounded, meaning Medtronic's technicians couldn't swan into their hospitals to type in the unlock code and charge them hundreds of dollars.

The saving grace was an anonymous, former Medtronic repair tech, who built pirate boxes to generate unlock codes, using any housing they could lay hands on to use as a case: guitar pedals, clock radios, etc. This tech shipped these gadgets around the world, observing strict anonymity, because Article 6 of the EUCD also bans circumvention:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/07/10/flintstone-delano-roosevelt/#medtronic-again

Of course, Apple is a huge fan of VIN-locking. In phones, VIN-locking is usually called "serializing" or "parts-pairing," but it's the same thing: a tiny subassembly gets its own microcontroller whose sole purpose is to prevent independent repair technicians from fixing your gadget. Parts-pairing lets Apple block repairs even when the technician uses new, Apple parts – but it also lets Apple block refurb parts and third party parts.

For many years, Apple was the senior partner and leading voice in blocking state Right to Repair bills, which it killed by the dozen, leading a coalition of monopolists, from Wahl (who boobytrap their hair-clippers with springs that cause their heads irreversibly decompose if you try to sharpen them at home) to John Deere (who reinvented tenant farming by making farmers tenants of their tractors, rather than their land).

But Apple's opposition to repair eventually became a problem for the company. It's bad optics, and both Apple customers and Apple employees are volubly displeased with the company's ecocidal conduct. But of course, Apple's management and shareholders hate repair and want to block it as much as possible.

But Apple knows how to Think Differently. It came up with a way to eat its cake and have it, too. The company embarked on a program of visibly support right to repair, while working behind the scenes to sabotage it.

Last year, Apple announced a repair program. It was hilarious. If you wanted to swap your phone's battery, all you had to do was let Apple put a $1200 hold on your credit card, and then wait while the company shipped you 80 pounds' worth of specialized tools, packed in two special Pelican cases:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/05/22/apples-cement-overshoes/

Then, you swapped your battery, but you weren't done! After your battery was installed, you had to conference in an authorized Apple tech who would tell you what code to type into a laptop you tethered to the phone in order to pair it with your phone. Then all you had to do was lug those two 40-pound Pelican cases to a shipping depot and wait for Apple to take the hold off your card (less the $120 in parts and fees).

By contrast, independent repair outfits like iFixit will sell you all the tools you need to do your own battery swap – including the battery! for $32. The whole kit fits in a padded envelope:

https://www.ifixit.com/products/iphone-x-replacement-battery

But while Apple was able to make a showy announcement of its repair program and then hide the malicious compliance inside those giant Pelican cases, sabotaging right to repair legislation is a lot harder.

Not that they didn't try. When New York State passed the first general electronics right-to-repair bill in the country, someone convinced New York Governor Kathy Hochul to neuter it with last-minute modifications:

https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2022/12/weakened-right-to-repair-bill-is-signed-into-law-by-new-yorks-governor/

But that kind of trick only works once. When California's right to repair bill was introduced, it was clear that it was gonna pass. Rather than get run over by that train, Apple got on board, supporting the legislation, which passed unanimously:

https://www.ifixit.com/News/79902/apples-u-turn-tech-giant-finally-backs-repair-in-california

But Apple got the last laugh. Because while California's bill contains many useful clauses for the independent repair shops that keep your gadgets out of a landfill, it's a state law, and DMCA 1201 is federal. A state law can't simply legalize the conduct federal law prohibits. California's right to repair bill is a banger, but it has a weak spot: parts-pairing, the scourge of repair techs:

https://www.ifixit.com/News/69320/how-parts-pairing-kills-independent-repair

Every generation of Apple devices does more parts-pairing than the previous one, and the current models are so infested with paired parts as to be effectively unrepairable, except by Apple. It's so bad that iFixit has dropped its repairability score for the iPhone 14 from a 7 ("recommend") to a 4 (do not recommend):

https://www.ifixit.com/News/82493/we-are-retroactively-dropping-the-iphones-repairability-score-en

Parts-pairing is bullshit, and Apple are scum for using it, but they're hardly unique. Parts-pairing is at the core of the fuckery of inkjet printer companies, who use it to fence out third-party ink, so they can charge $9,600/gallon for ink that pennies to make:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2020/11/ink-stained-wretches-battle-soul-digital-freedom-taking-place-inside-your-printer

Parts-pairing is also rampant in powered wheelchairs, a heavily monopolized sector whose predatory conduct is jaw-droppingly depraved:

https://uspirgedfund.org/reports/usp/stranded

But if turning phones into e-waste to eke out another billion-dollar stock buyback is indefensible, stranding people with disabilities for months at a time while they await repairs is so obviously wicked that the conscience recoils. That's why it was so great when Colorado passed the nation's first wheelchair right to repair bill last year:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2022/06/when-drm-comes-your-wheelchair

California actually just passed two right to repair bills; the other one was SB-271, which mirrors Colorado's HB22-1031:

https://leginfo.legislature.ca.gov/faces/billNavClient.xhtml?bill_id=202320240SB271

This is big! It's momentum! It's a start!

But it can't be the end. When Bill Clinton signed DMCA 1201 into law 25 years ago, he loaded a gun and put it on the nation's mantlepiece and now it's Act III and we're all getting sprayed with bullets. Everything from ovens to insulin pumps, thermostats to lightbulbs, has used DMCA 1201 to limit repair, modification and improvement.

Congress needs to rid us of this scourge, to let us bring back all the benefits of interoperability. I explain how this all came to be – and what we should do about it – in my new Verso Books title, The Internet Con: How to Seize the Means of Computation.

https://www.versobooks.com/products/3035-the-internet-con

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/22/vin-locking/#thought-differently

Image: Mitch Barrie (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Daytona_Skeleton_AR-15_completed_rifle_%2817551907724%29.jpg

CC BY-SA 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/deed.en

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kambanji (modified) https://www.flickr.com/photos/kambanji/4135216486/

CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

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Rawpixel (modified) https://www.rawpixel.com/image/12438797/png-white-background

[incorrectbatfam]

Could you please do some headcanons about Batmans cooking disasters over the years?

Age 5: Bruce puts tinfoil in the microwave. Alfred shakes his head and laughs

Age 6: He decorates a cookie so badly another kid cries until they throw up

Age 7: He tries to make a PB&J and the countertop is sticky for a week

Age 8: He tries to make Martha's chicken noodle soup but ends up crying on the kitchen floor surrounded by half-chopped vegetables

Age 9: He tries to impress a houseguest by recreating Thomas's mixology tricks (sans alcohol). There's still a stain on the ceiling to this day

Age 10: He makes green eggs. It's not on purpose. He's never even read the book

Age 11: He makes lava in the school cafeteria

Age 12: He tries to make cheese bread by drilling holes into a baguette and filling it with melted nacho cheese

Age 13: He melts a cutting board in the oven

Age 14: He folds a Pop Tart

Age 15: The chocolate-covered bananas he makes for the school bake sale come out looking very very wrong

Age 16: He's asked to drop a home economics class after mistaking refried beans for pumpkin puree in a pie

Age 17: He boils eggs in the carton

Age 18: He makes his entire freshman dorm evacuate after burning his ramen to ash

Age 19: He sculpts a severed hand out of meatloaf and is sent to the university psychologist

Age 20: He tries to bake a cake but doesn't have a cake pan, so he pours the batter right in the oven

Age 21: He tries Thomas's mixology tricks again, this time with alcohol. One of the tricks is flipping it over his head. He ends up losing part of his vision for 3 days

Age 22: He burns water. Harley Quinn is there. She still holds it over his head

Age 23: He packs his first patrol snack as Batman. It's a chocolate bar wrapped in a tortilla. The chocolate melts onto his gloves and he drops the tortilla down a sewer grate

Age 24: He makes an ice cream cookie sandwich to eat while he and Batgirl work on a case, but he's so engrossed in the work that he doesn't notice it melt until Babs points it out

Age 25: He enters the first annual Justice League cook-off and immediately gets banned from ever entering again

Age 26: He tries to comfort little Dickie Grayson by making fried cornbread from a book of Roma comfort recipes. It turns out about as well as you'd expect when you give Bruce Wayne hot oil. Bruce is genuinely bummed out, but Dick says it's the thought that counts

Age 27: Clark delivers a huge hunk of beef from the farm. Instead of waiting for Alfred to come back, Bruce and Dick try to break it down with a power saw

Age 28: Bruce and Dick's latkes are burned so badly they can play floor hockey with them

Age 29: He makes stuffed mushrooms. Badly. Like imagine the worst way you can fuck up a mushroom. It still won't compare to what Bruce did. And it's for a potluck with the West-Allens that Barry won't let him live down

Age 30: Bruce sees Dick struggling to make ravioli and he's like "Let me show you how it's done" before proceeding to make it infinitely worse

Age 31: Bruce sees a hungry Jason Todd and the first thing he does when they return to the manor is make a double-decker bread sandwich. That's bread with two more slices of bread in between

Age 32: Bruce packs Dick and Jason's lunchboxes when Alfred is out of town. They're supposed to include a salad. Instead, Dick gets a whole head of lettuce and Jason's is just a bottle of ranch

Age 33: He makes hot chocolate after patrol... but forgets the chocolate

Age 34: The Manor is too cold, so Bruce tries to warm it up by making Jason's favorite soup. His hands shake the whole time. Suddenly, he's eight years old again, sitting on the kitchen floor surrounded by scraps reminding him of his failure

Age 35: Jack and Janet Drake are out of the country again, leaving young Timmy by himself. Bruce decides to bring some dinner over. It's baked perfectly, but it's full of things that shouldn't be anywhere near a casserole dish. They end up ordering takeout and watching old detective movies together

Age 36: Steph walks through how to make waffles. Bruce is standing there, watching closely and taking notes. They still come out looking radioactive

Age 37: Cass asks if they can get smoothies. Bruce says he can make them at home. She gives him a warning look but that's not enough to stop him. Cue Bruce forgetting to put the lid on the blender

Age 38: Jason's first night back at home, Bruce tries to make that soup. It shoots out like a geyser and hits the lights. He's panicking until he hears Jason laugh, and then the soup doesn't matter

Age 39: Damian screws up hummus and he desperately tries to hide it so people won't see him as inadequate at something so basic. Instead of getting upset, Bruce assures him it's okay and offers to fix it. (He doesn't fix it, he just makes it worse)

Age 40: Bruce's birthday happens while he's fake-dead and away from home. He grabs a convenience store cupcake and sticks a single candle on it. Then he closes his eyes, pretends his family is around him, and makes a wish. (The candle droops and sets the hotel sheets on fire)

Age 41: Back at the Manor, he attempts to make lemonade on a particularly hot day. Selina offers to help, but Bruce declines, saying, "How hard can it be?" (Spoiler alert: it's not supposed to be full of seeds)

Age 42: Kate shows him a video of Canadians pouring maple syrup into the snow to make candy, so he gets her to boil the syrup so they can do it together. The problem comes when they can't control the pour and end up with a glob the size of Damian

Age 43: As part of a school project, Bruce and Duke try to deduce the Coca-Cola secret formula. Duke's teacher takes a point off because at the beginning he told her he'd taste the results, but there's no way he's doing that now

Age 44: The family gets together to make a full English breakfast Alfred's birthday. Each person takes a part—Dick has eggs, Jason has the grilled tomatoes, Tim has mushrooms, Duke has the bacon, Steph and Cass are tag-teaming the sausages, Damian just has to open a can of beans, and Bruce needs to put bread in the toaster. It goes South immediately when Damian reaches for his katana instead of the can opener

Age 45: Bruce puts tinfoil in the microwave. Alfred shakes his head and laughs

[runnning-outof-time]

Congratulations once again K! I am forever grateful that we started chatting. You are such a sweet soul, I know your kindness and enthusiasm reaches every single follower you have! Can't wait to celebrate your next milestone 🎁🎉💐

1K gif 😘

Stop it, Cia...you’re making me blush!! 🥺🥺 you’re seriously the sweetest. I can’t thank you enough for all of your kind words ... and it was your lovely surprises that gave me this idea, so thank you so much for that!!! ☺️💕

Note: This was supposed to be posted yesterday, but I completely lost the desire to write after learning about some of the current events happening in my country that affected me pretty deeply, so yeah....I’m sorry about that and I’m hoping to get a few written and posted today! 😊

*I’m Celebrating 1K Followers...thanks for the love!

Well, What About the Dog?

Warnings: language

So this takes place in Arrow House. Tommy’s in his office, as usual, and his wife is the type of woman who just loves animals. I’m sure you know where this one’s going already.

Tommy’s working on some export logs when he hears the sound of the floorboards in the hallway squeaking.

“Tom,” (Y/N)’s voice comes quietly from the doorway of his office, but he hears it clearly.

“Yes, love?” Tommy calls back to his wife, his eyes still fixed on his papers.

“Can I come in?” she asks, her voice still soft like before.

Tommy chuckles when he hears what her question is. “Yes, love,” he repeats his previous response, but now it’s a statement rather than a question. He drops his glasses on top of the pile of papers and watches his wife enter the room slowly. “Uh...” he voices his confusion when he realizes that she’s got something in her hands.

“I found him on the side of the road; walking around in circles, Tom...” (Y/N) trails off as she walks to his desk, “he looked lost, and I thought that you could use someone to keep you company.”

“That’s a fucking dog, (Y/N)...what company is it going to give me?” Tommy asks his question in an incredulous manner, his eyebrows raised as he stared at the small ball of fluff in his wife’s arms. He wasn’t mad at her, he was just...confused.

“Well I just figured since you banned me from sitting in here with you...” (Y/N) trails off with a huff, a displeased expression gracing her features.

“That’s because you wouldn’t stop talking,” Tommy points out, “I love you, darling, but I couldn’t focus on my work.”

“The good thing about this pup here is that he won’t talk to you,” (Y/N) smiles as she then carefully sits the sleepy dog down on one of the armchairs that face Tommy’s desk. Tommy purses his lips and shakes his head, trying not to let his grin become evident.

(Y/N) was always surprising him with the most outlandish things. On multiple occasions now, she’d brought home animals that she’d found and thought needed a home. Arrow House had become like a safe haven for several furry critters now.

“He seemed pretty tuckered out from all his wandering and should just stay here and sleep for most of the time,” (Y/N) gives him the rundown and, at this point, Tommy’s still doesn’t know what to say. “I’ve named him Midnight,” she then informs him as she begins moving back to the door of the office.

“Where’re you going, (Y/N)?” Tommy questions with furrowed eyebrows as he watches her grab the handle to the door.

“To play with the kids,” she answers nonchalantly, like she hasn’t just placed a dog onto one of his chairs. She sends him a smile as she opens the door and exits the room.

Tommy looks between the dog and the slightly ajar door, trying to wrap his brain around what’s just happened. “You gonna look after this dog?!” he calls after her then, hoping she hadn’t gotten to far from his office.

“No. That’s your dog now, love!” she calls back to him as he once again hears footsteps on the hardwood, this time going away from the office.

Tommy sighs and looks to the small, black sleeping ball of fur. She said he would sleep for the entire time; he thinks as he focuses on the dog’s steady breathing for a few moments longer. He shakes his head then as his eyes drop back to the paperwork he needs to finish. He figures that he should accept what’s just happened and move on with what he was doing because there was no way that he had the heart to tell his wife ‘no’ on this.

[lgbthequarry]

Okay this is for @lost-at-hacketts-quarry cuz you are so smart and so right about the Hacketteers being neighbors/living together.

Like they get out of jail/cleared of all charges and then... what? They're just supposedly to move on with their lives like normal people? Yeah fuck that.

Or well maybe they try to, at least, at first. Everyone kinda just splits up, criss-crosses all over the country, pretending like their life plans before still mean something. But then its the nightmares keeping them up and then the phone calls start going out, making sure that everyones okay, everyones still alive. And its the feeling like they need to be together, to protect each other, comfort each other in a way the skype calls and the group chat just cant.

And Emma's rich (or her parents are but they don't care what she does) so she buys like three or four condos side by side in a nice quiet neighborhood. Or maybe its just a ginormous house where they all have their own suites or mini apartments

And even tho they have plenty of space, they end up in each others more often than not.

Dylan and Ryan each have a room for themselves but they always sleep together and alternate between the two.

Emma has something of hers in everyone else's bathroom (but most of her daily routine products reside in Abi's).

Abi is the clothing thief. Somehow she's always wearing something of someone elses but no one is bothered by it cuz she looks absolutely adorable in clothes two sizes too big for her.

Kaitlyn might have a room in the house, somewhere, but she spends so much time in other peoples rooms she's forgotten where it actually is.

Nick commands the master kitchen and rarely lets anyone else use it (save for ryan cuz at least he wont explode the microwave Dylan, Emma, Jacob!)

Jacob was the last to move in. He said it was cuz he wanted to be there for his little sisters but really he felt like he didn't deserve to be with all the people he could've gotten killed bcuz of his stupid stunt. But Kaitlyn eventually physically drags his ass into the house with all his things and surprise! they've put together a "welcome home jacob" party just for him and the poor dude spends 10 minutes crying into a sloce of cake as they all watch Gilmore Girls in the living room.

Every full moon they have a group slumber party and usually camp out in the living room or whoever offers up their room for the night. And of course they build massive blanket/pillow forts. Its usually just a massive cuddle puddle on the floor or a few separate sleeping bags with a few people sharing for snuggles.

Wednesdays are for family dinners and Fridays are for game night (monopoly and uno are both BANNED from the house forevermore).

Laura and Max get a place for themselves either right next door or across the street bcuz they're getting married soon and they've been talking about kids and they still need a place just for them sometimes. BUT they're always over for family dinners and game night and full moons cuz they've essentially adopted seven teenagers and like it or not, they're all family now.

Sidenote. House rules: Everyone does their chores, respect and open communication are key, and for the love of GOD knock! Please just knock before you enter a room! And then knock again for good measure! (They're trauma-bonded teenagers sure, but still hormonal horny teenagers all the same)

[pheita]

AU Tag Game

So, a long time ago @catharticallysarcastic tagged my and now @whimsyqueen and since my Lyran/Ari brainrot starts to create AU worlds.. here we are Tagging @ashen-crest and @stormbrightwriter, you know why ^^

AU Title: The Crystal Queen Setting: Semi-modern fantasy country ruled by a queen. Aesthetic: old halls filled with modern things, tradition vs modern, wind softly blowing, whispers in the sun, light in dark old halls, murmurs of water, faint melodies of times long gone Concept: Arritit is the heiress to the crystal throne and would rather be someone else. A country stuck between the old traditions and the modern technology her urge to learn is stronger than her sense of duty to her country, so she does the only sensible thing a young woman could think of: she ran away from home and became a student at the best university her country has to offer and study alchemy under the guise of a different name. Everything goes well until the family finds her and makes her come home to take the throne and marry the young nobleman she had been betrothed to as a toddler. Her surprise is huge when she meets him the first time and realizes it’s Lyran, the young history student she had been dating. Together they tackle the live as married couple, ruling a country and the schemes of the old folks who try to manipulate her into keeping traditions alive and ban the modern technology. Tiny Scene: “These motherfuckers of idiots!” Arritit entered the room with banging doors. Lyran looked up from his research with an aloof smirk. “Which one this time?” “All of them. I want to strangle them.” She growled frustrated. “Oh no, better, hang them from the main tower, head first. This would be fun.” Agitated, she ran around and gestured with her hands, emphasizing how much she would like to get physical. When she stopped, Lyran had a bad feeling. The big smile and the light up gaze told him, she had an idea that will bring both of them into trouble. He got up and went to take her hands in his, guiding her fingertips to his mouth. “Talk to me, my love.” The wicked smile didn’t falter under the shiver his breath in her fingertips caused in her. Arritit leaned in and kissed him. “What do you think, how long will an elderly man survive to be nailed on a wall, just dangling on his wrinkly little dick?” He chuckled softly. A soft kiss in her lips followed to calm her. “I am afraid, this will count as torture.” “Fuck, I was already planning how to get it done.” Her snicker gave away, it was just a theoretical thing, for now, but she was still furious. “So, what got you worked up in the not so sexy, steamy and loveable way?” A sigh from the deepest depths of her being was the answer. “The same old. Bring back the old traditions. Make the kingdom great again. Old man bullshit who didn’t learn they are way past their time.” “Well, I have an idea.” “So?” She quirked an eyebrow at him, while he lead her to the reclaimer and sat her down softly. The moment both sat, Arritit sneaked in his lap and curled herself around him. “There was once the tradition for the queen to have a harem. If they want the old ways back, why not have some fun with it?” The silent laughter went through her whole body. “You are unbelievable.” “Am I?” “Well, maybe a bit. I like the idea.” “Yeah, never mess with a historian.” She leaned her head back with a smile on her face, the anger gone now and replaced by amusement. “I’ll keep this in mind. You know what is also a tradition?” “No?”, Lyran laughed softly. “Making babies.” “Ah, yeah. I think we need to train for this, don’t you think?” “A lot”, Arritit whispered against his neck as she moved in to place kisses on the little skin, that laid exposed. “An awful lot. What a burden.” His whisper only a little louder than hers. Knowing her for years now, Lyran knew he would better let her lead and just held her, waiting for her actions. “Why don’t you shut up and put your mouth to use?” She changed her position and sat down properly on his lap, straddling him with minimal moves of her hips. “As my queen wishes.” “Oh, I wish a lot, my love.”

[brudick-summerexchange]

MORE BRUDICK FIC RECS

Daddy by MLFuder

Summary: Occasionally, Dick got the courage to ask why Bruce remained single; why Brucie hadn’t picked up Vicki again or Silver. He teased Bruce about joining Lois and Clark, suggesting neither would mind. Bruce, the bastard, simply looked at him calmly and turned the question around on him with a raised eyebrow. Dick had no answer that wasn’t something along the lines of I’ve been in love with you for more than half my life you fucking idiot and so shrugged and left the man alone.

Casino Royale by ChancellorGriffin

Summary: Boravia’s grand casino, once a hotbed of European crime, has reopened with a high-stakes poker tournament Bruce Wayne suspects may be the work of Roulette. In a country where superheroes are banned, the only way to foil a criminal conspiracy is to enter the tournament as himself, and play his way up to the top. But not just any card-playing billionaire can get his name on the list. The real price of admission is a lot higher than the two million dollar buy-in. You also need a secret to offer up as your stake. A dirty one. The kind a man like Bruce Wayne would pay dearly to keep quiet. Enter Dick Grayson. Though he agrees to accompany Bruce to the tournament in the guise of his illicit lover, to help him fake a blackmail-worthy secret besides the one with masks and capes, Dick's not wild about spending so much time with his old friend in flirtatious playboy mode; but somehow it's harder than expected to watch Bruce direct that legendary charisma at other people, and Dick doesn't quite know why. Over the course of four days, what began as a straightforward undercover job devolves into a messy emotional tangle which forces both men to confront truths they’ve kept hidden for years . . . even from themselves.

When You Say Nothing, You Really Mean Everything by victoriousscraf

Summary: Dick stood in the batcave, watching Bruce hunched over the computer. “So,” he said, because since the night before Bruce hadn't said a word to him. “Are we gonna talk about it?”

“Talk about what?” Bruce asked, and his voice was hoarse from screaming.

The Case of the Missing Son by FleetSparrow

Summary: Dick Grayson is a P.I. working in Gotham after a successful clean up of the 'Haven. Unfortunately, Gotham's a bit more corrupt. Still, when Bruce Wayne gives him a case, Dick is determined to solve it, not just for the money, but for Bruce's affections, too. But this case may turn out bigger than he had ever anticipated.

Breathe Gotham by purplefox

Summary: The years change and Dick still loves Gotham and Bruce

Old Dog, New Tricks by McKat

Summary: Dick Grayson somehow ends up in the Batman Beyond world, and he and Bruce come to terms with some things.

Terry is there for moral support, and to help push things along.

Pistols for Two by Antiquity

Summary: Regency AUs inspired by and fused with selected short stories written by Georgette Heyer, as compiled in her book "Pistols for Two".

Gray Areas by Rawrbin

Summary: "There were a lot of gray areas when it came to the law."

Bruce muses on these supposed "gray areas" as he takes on another crime and then celebrates a job well done.

[bobelblogger]

more grimdark setting with jenkel hyde/jack the ripper vibes

Fucking Futa's by Jack Bertram Graham

How it always starts, a well meaning dumb cunt gets other dumb cunts to hatch a dumb cunt plan to make the world a better place, squat and shat out a monster who made more turning females into breeders and males in bitch boys, took over their homeland, the neighboring countries, hopped the channel and took Albion, they just do as they please now, wipe their asses with our flag, appropriate vice dens for their personal use, banned men from voting or decently paid work, seized any male property and force them to 'resettle', fucking burnt down all tea and tobacco shoppes.

I've already been witness to oppression twice, of my father for nationality, of my fancy for skirts, thrice won't be for my sex by some puff buff tited shemen pissing on my patch, a blow will be struck for the humiliation heaped on us.

A curfew in place of six to seven for women and seven to six for men, futastein's didn't have one, I nicked wardrobes from a foreclosed theatre to obtain disguises, assumed the identity of a librarian and rumoured occasional hog boinker, cover for a natural skin ailment hence her smell they turned up their noses at the scent as I gathered reports on troop movement and depots of munitions during the allotted hours then smuggled it to the resistance holdings through the wider underground.

I wanted to get more then even, they fuck everything that moves on two legs, maybe even blow eachother, but they haven't ever been fucked by a real man, I'd be the one to do it.

My acquired target of seven fresh off the barge with an older Futastein as their CO, not regular Hingmact grunts but field nurses from the Medikorps, going by the crossed Helix in blue on white armbands, I switched from incensed revenge to an almost dutiful fervor, teach these haughty bitchs an anatomy analogy lesson.

A wolf in sheep's clothing laying in wait for sheep thinking themselves wolves, my night will come.

Plowing their way inland through homeguards with pitchforks didn't waste time surrounding the capital, began pillaging and assaulting the populace as soon as they entered, anyone that ran was chased down and pulled from their refuge kicking, fitted with collars and tags to be shipped off while compliants were registered, let go to return home.

Took over the city police headquarters after publicly stripping and unmanning the boys in blue with their own truncheons and manacle cuffs left wearing their custodian helmets, atleast two hundred black clad futasteins made it their berth, having to get through all of them for only seven wouldn't be worth it, risk reward ratio wise.

Wait for the sheep to graze afield and take them unawares, gives me some time to clean up for the occasion.

Having only two nice dresses and wigs for my prowl, gathered my fake breasts bra, false cameltoe lacy panties, matched bonnie blue stockings and heel slippers and silk gloves, on my head a very pompadourish blond curly wig some face powdering, ruby lipstick, fake eyelashes and beauty mark, Betty Butte stepped into the evening with a head tossed cackle.

Making my way along the Thames by an estuary, past the dubbed Hellcell station by the firmly gripped subjects of Lunduin for if taken in, came out never the same if they ever did.

Maybe two thirds of the way to the bar a Hingmact patrol stopped two pedestrians as a poonhund sniffed their persons, I looked up to check Big Bess' clock face saw it was five twenty, too early for blitz hour, they must've set up extra search posts for a special occasion or visitor.

'Don't draw attention to the plot, they won't strip search me, it's still within curfew, I've gotten through before, I'll give them the dumb blond schtick, if a ragdoll gained life.'

"State your name, business and present subject v card, step aside to be patted down, no exceptions."

A burly double d racked futastein ordered a young lady and her friend. "You're were the mayor's little frau nein?"

"I am Edwina Teed, my husband was resettled, I am returning with my lover to my home from a bank deposit trip."

"Well it says here your box hasn't been packed since may sixth, your rear requires a cavity check for clearance."

Getting closer to her held by the neck bent her backwards in an embrace and tongue kissing her quite roughly.

The futastein's gloved hand slipped down her side over her hip under her skirt sunk into her anus with three beefy fingers.

"Mhhhmm!" Was all the petite prissy prey could murmur as she stood clamped in the predators claws and jaws.

Getting turned on myself I looked out at the evening skyline of Lunduin and it's changing shape with dozens of phallic towers being constructed with free male labour, use of which was given solely to first class citizens.

Lady Teed's plumper companion sheepishly popped open her bodice and pulled down her bra to show intent then knelt with a forced look of eager hunger, the slightly shorter futastein handler of the sniffer walked up and ordered the mutt to sit, then patted the kneeling damsel and motioned to her gray trousers.

Nodding she grasped the hem zipper and pulled down, out of the toothed maw a massive beefy cock of monstrous girth and length and two jawbreaker balls, its pungent musk having an effect her on as the woman attempted a amateurish hand and tit fuck with her flustered theatrical panting and moaning.

"A Vagetarian I see, only munches muffins, time to introduce a more protein rich meal to your palate." Taking a wide stance with hands on her head as the futastein mused in reaction to the dithering damsels uncoordinated efforts, taking a fistful of her brown hair brought her mouth to the bulbous helmet and watched her suck on it like a teat.

Thinking of his last paid buggering, a nervous rental with red hair cut short, pulled down trousers bent over and took it like a champ, left a handkerchief for a prize, come to realize the bugger left my pay.

Finally, the frisking futastein let Lady Teed go as her friend was doused in a cowl of spunk, helped her to stand then stamped their cards and waved them along, breathing slow Betty strode up to the checkpoint.

"Betty 'Amoursau' Butte, librarian, numerals five two eight zero, last analyzing, may tenth." As I held my card.

"Du reichst like shitezen when you walk by, did you hear of the bath, I ought to dunk you in that river there."

"Oink Oink, hog love and case of fever left rashes, water and perfume aggravates my pores." Betty beamed.

Quickly curtsied and began walking past as the poonhund wrinkled it's nose in distaste for my scent.

"Not yet, come here you ditzy broad." The busty bitch ordered cracking her knuckles. "Cavity search, spread 'em."

Prepared for that outcome used a vice to gap my asshole and applied my own sploge for further proof.

Given my stench and generally annoying airs, the not enthusiastic futa plied and gropped my rectum and fauxclit.

Waved me through with a grimace as I sauntered with a dervish skip and continued into the evening merrily.

Der Tip, a dive only permitted to first and second classes during daylight, after dark a rarity for third class if they paid a oral toll as a reminder entertainment was for their betters free of charge.

Outside parked one dozen sidecar conjoined motorcycles, the guns normally mounted on them were absent.

These especially predatory Hingmact troops raced over the countryside night and day keeping watch, they tipped the monotonous invading spear that wounded Albions heart of Lunduin, riding around the streets chasing anyone until they came to the police station, sodomizing jailed and jailor alike before looting then torching every tobacco and tea shoppe before dumping it in the Thames, banners of the futareich hung from parliament, the clock struck noon as ashen rain poured down.

For my kindred and kinks, I entered the establishment with a slight jilt to accentuate my tipsy flair.

Inside raucous laughter mixed with fumes of liquor and boiled leathery sweat wafting around the place.

A bunch of Trikers and their property of vested bitches danced and felt up each other to oompa music.

Get a glass, then sit and wait for the sheep to come and drink, maybe twenty minutes maybe be thirty.

"Shirley cider, half a lime shaken not stirred, on the rocks." Muttered in farce cheer as the woman barkeep turned.

"We nicht do cocktails, Kopftmester, Vise, Cooze, Buch, Pierless, Schwanzhonig ein pint und Ich not Shirley."

In a forced Vemaran accent, eyes seemly dead with nothing behind them, a barmaid dress and red braids her visage.

"Regrets madam, pint of Pierless with foam aplenty please, when does the stand up start?" Asked in a bratty tone.

"Der stand up is after your curfew und the mic is broken so nein this nacht." She scoffed sliding the pint to her.

Such as she had resisted temptation to chug it in one go, drank and watched the futasteins joust cocks and spank their spousal slaves in pace with the musical tempo on poles and rope swings topless and bottomless and loving it.

Eye to the entrance and lavatory, both men's and ladies had extra signs allowing futa's to use either, perfect.

"Mistress Berdina, mind bar tending I'm due for a drain." To a curtained alcove whence stepped a tall buff Futastein.

Betty felt the menacing exhale stream from its nose down onto her face as its pint glass dwarfing fist took a checkered rag and began wiping down the bar, garbed in a black turtleneck and white apron with words across it.

Kiss Der Cock

"Fe fi fo fum, I smell cum from a freshly plowed bum." Berdina stiffed the air and smiled darkly at Betty.

A few seconds in feint timid repose Betty replied. "Well with a buffet of dick how could I resist." Sipping her pint.

"You smell like a prostitute after rounds on the docks, why das feck haven't you bathed?" Her nose wrinkled.

"Sores and rashes prevent me from fully cleaning my body, I make herbs and scent oil to treat it." Betty supplied.

"Very quant reason, that drink will be ten Futans, it's nearly to curfew so you better finish and leave before then."

'No pound anymore, now minted with the value on one side and FR on the other as the new currency.'

"Jah ma'am habinsky vermhoeven kibbensme comfurdle, stupf." Betty took a long swig and hopped from the stool.

Digging in her rack for her coin purse, placed the amount on the bar and curtsied the tender before wobbling off.

If this was to work her targets should be in here about now, surveying booths and dance floor didn't see them.

Just as the clock rung quarter to seven, just as she despaired of her quest from the door stepped in seven futastein's.

Medikorps insignia and berets, slender build framed by brutish shoulders and legs, wide bulges in the trousers.

Two looked older, even a few gray streaks in their brown and black manes, the rest bob blond or hazel locks.

Quite the flock to maul and she had until six to do it how droll, a short lavatory detour and Betty would be ready.

Entering the ladies loo noticed the wall of plaster casted cocks on the walls.

Looking around the stall on the ends door was closed, two shadows of shoes peeked from under as she closed in.

Walked to and briskly tapped on it. "Taken mutterficker, use another." A forced accent voice responded.

"I just want you to know I know your secret, so open it or I let it be known to all, choose now." She gambled.

A few tense seconds with inaudible self musings and a resigned exhale followed by a click the door swung out.

Betty rushed in and closed the door before the lass could stand or pull up her panties, flustered and vulnerable.

"What's your name barista." Betty spoke running a gloved hand down the quaking lady from temple to chin.

What's that matter to you, plan to blackmail me with exposure or turning me over to those filthy beasts?"

"Surely they drink, just slip the seven medics it and watch them drink it, curfew is near so make it snappy."

Pulling a paper packet of small size from her bra and waved it over the woman's head while gesturing a faux de pas.

"I'm not Shirley, I am Veronique, formerly of Frankia, four familial relations suffered for aiding my flight."

"That tattoo upon your wrist, a lass lovin member of the league of lesbians." Betty recited from ballot memory.

"Legion Of Lesbos, I am, my mother and grand mother were, its outlawed." Veronique replied with grim curtness.

"A land of ladies only in cycle with nature, no pricks no problems." She continued before Betty could speak.

'You fled because you despise dick and your family took the heat, sounds like you and I are in similar situations.'

"I have no where else to go, this place was my friends who got resettled and I ran it until the futa's took over."

"You should fight back, if you truly want a future or freedom in a new age you have to help forge it." Betty replied.

"How, they are stronger and faster and smarter, the city's in lockdown with patrols and turncoats all over---"

"Just shush up and kiss me." Betty bent down puckered up and smooched Veronique's full pouty lips with gusto aplenty, audible muwahs and coos with a hand at her cheek and other by feel disturbed her bodice claspes.

She fought the kiss at first with feeble shoves and neck jerks, unsure if this was what she desired at the moment.

Before letting it happen and kissed back still seated on the marble throne with her skirt and panties at her waist.

Betty held her hands in Veronique's while squatting as she moved from mouth to neck to breasts and then belly.

Humming as she did lightly nipping while a hand grabbed the flush chain and the other her rosebush twat.

"Veronique, have your oral obligations been met, allow me to fulfil them with my fingers and tongue." Betty quipped.

With a tacit shiver and nod V spread her legs and leaned back, B slipped her pointer and thumb inward probing the crevice with the touch of a velvet drill etching out the width as she sunk more digits increased pace moaning softly through pursed lips with hurried breath, delved deeper with nearly her whole fist tickling and pinching, Veronique turned her affections to playing with her breasts to her hearts desire as she stifled an urge to get it over and done then drowned it in neurotic seas of lustful bliss.

Betty withdrew her fingers and craned her neck began lapping and exploring with the tentative tip at first then sunk into the gaping of her gap with a muffled slurp and mutter of "delicious." Wholly suckled her clit clam for the pearl.

Veronique braced a foot against the door and draped the other over her questing companions shoulder, head tossed mouth agape with her cave being splunked could hardly suppress her breathy gasp of utter fulfilment.

A fresh breath of air wasn't forthcoming to Betty's mouth so inhaled through her schnozz as warm clear spray hit her tongue with tingling sweetly bitter salty mixture. Arose from fruitful forage in the bush licked her lips lurringly.

"Ok V, do your part for Lesbos, leave the rest to me and make haste out of Lunduin." Betty gave up the pill packet.

V steadied her legs, stood pressed her barmaid skirt and apron into place nodded, took it, washed up and left.

Quickly wiping her face reapplied her lipstick and powder then exited the stall to choose her weapon.

On the wall hung plaster cast futa cocks, next to it's length and owners name, Betty took a veiny girthy mold.

Good and snug in her ass under the dress, the clock hit seven with a grin as she sauntered out the door.

The bar was loaded with trikers and at a booth the squad of Medikorpers, ordering drinks from Veronique.

Could've been but with the street lamps turning on and a slow trickle of males wearily shuffling into the bar,

At seven nineteen the first of the flock swaggered out the bar whistling as unmanned males knelt as it passed by, from the outline Betty swiftly pulled out the futa cast girded with her garter straps over her own knob, a wicked thrill shivered up her spine stepping in time with her prey.

Just shy of an unlit alley saw the futastein slow and then stop with a sway before it undid the belt and zipper unsheathed its monster and began to urinate against a shope door it was then Betty struck.

A brush previously used for pasting posters was procured and used to smear paste over the futastein's face.

It's eyes and mouth were shut and steered mostly by prods into the alley and pushed over a crate.

Hiking up her dress Betty pulled off the futas unbuckled belt wrapped it around the futa's wrists while the trousers fell to its ankles, scooted the thong aside and placed the cast cockhead against the rectum then said.

"No lubricant, no foreplay, I'm going in dry so brace for a long hard rogering, as the first of many to learn this night."

Islena vaguely shook her head in reply and tried to talk, of course that was unable to happen so Betty began.

Each thrust produced a muffled groan and buck from the

Islena with dildo, reamed

Angrid with cum bucket, pranked

Prinza with flagpole, hoisted

Jofinne with fountain, bathed

Helga with statue, posed

Merthe with pillory. spanked

A front the scaffold in old Trafalgar square crowds of submissive city folk were herded onto the green as Betty stood manacled and slightly chilled in the crisp dawn air, a hemp rope hung in front of her gaze between two VERY pissed futastein guards, a long pause as the silent air

Jack stood nude and completely exposed

[cparti-mkiki]

i know you all must be tired of my misanthropic tirades but i genuinely don’t understand why so many people on trips go to museums when it is clear they don’t care about nor particularly like anything they’re seeing, that they aren’t having a good time here, and that they would probably find anything else more interesting and enjoyable. like having a few beers in the town center or going on a bike sightseeing trip? there’s so many things to do in a city. and especially there’s so many things to do in places that don’t get easily crowded, and where the presence of many people does not negatively affect everyone’s experience. certain famous museums are booked months in advance and then almost fucking impracticable when you get there from the amount of people crammed inside, but it’s not people who want to see anything that’s there. it’s people who are on a guided tour going through the motions, and it’s people who think going to that museum is “what you do” when you’re in X city, and it’s people who want to check out the gioconda and leave when they don’t see anything else that’s “famous” and all that

quintus, who made you the fucking gate keeper? do you think you’re the only one who can go to museums? and the only one who’s doing it the right way? that’s why you feel entitled to have empty halls for your enjoyment? people don’t deserve to have access to art because you don’t think they’re appreciating it “the way they should”? you think art galleries should be reserved for a cultural elite? etc etc. these criticism are all valid in some form: i know i’m being unpleasant and unreasonable. but god, i hate massified tourism.

there are galleries that have astounding collections and are relatively empty all year long because they don’t have a super marketable poster child artwork, and they don’t appear first thing on tripadvisor, and their names are not household names. i’m thankful for that and they should keep it that way. i’m just saying that if the louvre put the mona in a shed outside and charged a different ticket to go inside the shed only, they could decrease crowds in the main halls by a good 50% (conservative estimate). the vatican museums already have a de facto fast track to the sistine chapel… just go one step beyond? of course they won’t do that because they might be one of the few art museums in the world who are actually making bank but. as a suggestion. one day the louvre will be forced to clean the damn thing when the filth starts gaining life of its own and eating at the painting and it will be a devastating financial blow to the institution. i don’t even know what point im making— in any case, if i were the evil dictator of the world, my first order would be to ban all guided tours. my second would be to ban advertising for big art galleries, and to make it as byzantine as possible to obtain tickets (some countries have already mastered this art though. wink wink). i would make all the famous museums change their name so that you cannot brag about visiting them— because your friends won’t even know what you’re talking about. you would have to answer these riddles three to enter. imagine the scene: uffizi with only the people who actually want to go. i think it’d still be pretty full all the time, but it would be, like, livable, you know?

[mariolandavid]

Stop 2 : Penang! I didn't know much to anything about this island off the coast of Malaysia before entering the country. A bit of cursory Wikipedia research labelled this part of town as The Silicon Valley of the East, but simultaneously a backpackers paradise of unspoilt old town and charm filled cheap cafes. Like if Starbucks moved in but was best pals with your local neighbourhood cake shops instead of mercilessly grinding them to dust. I was excited for this; sounded like a vibe.

Arriving we've been greeted much more by the latter old town sort of thing, given we are staying in that part of town. This is the only kinda place where i've seen the "people on bikes" graffiti genre veer as far one way as Bansky and as far the other way as "just put mr Bean on the bike and more people will stay at the hotel". It's a beautiful place. Slow. Feels almost too quiet right now but this is a world only just post COVID. There's some way to go before what's 'normal' is back I guess. Places like this got hit bad by having to close their business for 3 years. It shows, there's a lot of shut up places. Man, it's not even just Covid, you can see the effects of the 2004 Tsunami out by the beaches. It's dumb to expect recovery from this stuff quickly and I'm glad they're open up again and the money comes back to rebuild. I'm kinda grateful to be here at all.

One thing I am not grateful for. Durian. I once left a bag of potatoes in a cupboard over a kettle for close to a year in a student flat. Over time the steam liquidised the potatoes as they gradually putrefied naturally. The smell at the end of it was close to something between death and a deep wet mould. Durian is the only thing close to that smell, and it is everywhere. It's actually banned in many public places yet appears so delicious inside that despite these things being on every street corner, & this making you appreciate how bad the whole world must smell in the Walking Dead, everyone love the taste too much to choose not to have corpse stench lightly permeate the air at all times. Good for them. I admire that mental strength. I hate durians.

We did domestic duties early on arrival. Getting the washing done, scouting around and sitting down at Tek Sen for some really good Chinese food. The adaptation from Singapore dollars to Malaysian Ringitt has taken some brain adjustments that's hard to demonstrate without reconverting everything into pounds and realising a beer now costs £1.80, not £7. A meal £2.82, not £20+. The budget might be ok after all. It's taken a lot of work and heart rending "oh god, we need a cheap day tomorrow, this is going to tip is past our average" before realising that a 90 ringitt meal is £16 and no, it's fine, you probably spend that on an aperol Spritz on a bad day back home. Chill.

Day 2 was eventful. We took the bus out to the national park via a breakfast stop off at the Toh Soon cafe. Toh Soon was a lovely little spot, but with a hell of a queue early in the morning. I felt a pang of home-sickness in that queue when the Malaysian man in front of us shouted "FUCKS SAKE" all of a sudden, apropos of nothing. It's a curiously English phrase when I think about it. I don't think i've ever heard it in another accent before.

We got a portion each of Nasi Lemak and Kaya Toast on a couple of different breads, washing everything down with the customary condensed milk laden coffee that I still can't shake the feeling is going to give me diabetes by the end of this trip. All excellent, still not a bad meal here. Because South East Asia is possibly situated next to some great cosmic steam vent, I immediately needed more fluids before the hour long bus ride so we dropped into 7/11. The door played what, on first listen might sound to the corporate morons who decreed this inflicted punishment on the poor staff who have to listen to this song everyday, to be a 'cheerful welcoming melody'. I heard this cheerful welcoming melody 6 times while in the shop buying one drink for something like 5 minutes. Some quick sums; and the poor man working behind the counter is probably there for a minimum of 8 hours a day. He must have heard that welcome jingle a minimum of 576 times in a day. If he works all week, even if it's a 5 day week, he will hear that jingle 2880 times. The suicide rate is remarkably low when considering this.

We hurtled onwards to Penang park after this interlude at 800 mph on the public bus. Seeing corners only as challenges to travel faster. When arriving, we geared up for a big hike (1 hour 15!!) to Turtle Beach, or Pentai Kerachut. We booked a return boat trip, because we're all allowed our little luxuries (and they take you to see the monkeys, come on). Walking through the jungle, you're hit by a wall of humidity and ants. You experience that true sweat that is only reserved for humid climes. The kind where things like your lip and the top of your arms even start sweating when you forgot they could. It's a lovely hike all things considered though, not too strenuous and some gorgeous beach and jungle scenery before you reach the meromictic lake where freshwater meets salt and the two are too different in density to mix. The colours are gorgeous and if you're lucky you'll see them form whirlpools twirling, ever twirling towards freedom.

We got out past the lake onto the beach and played our new favourite beach game "why can't I swim here", is it something that can kill me? Raw sewage? Perhaps lethal waves or a small undersea cliff? Well today it was multiple of these, so we stayed out of the water and continued on to the turtle sanctuary, seeing and reading about the egg laying cycles of the giant turtles on these beaches who need utter quiet, calm and peace, without any bright light to lay their eggs, or they'll simply turn back around and return to the see if they're disturbed. If you lived 100+ years, you'd think time was on your side too.

One of the things I have noticed dating a Spaniard, is that, there's a hell of a lot of Spaniards. I have found them as far aflung as the Premier Inn near Birmingham International, Westminster, local bakers in small english towns, and now here, on a boat in the middle of Malaysia, a group of 5 Catalonians became immediate best friends with Mariola because this is what Spaniards do. They were great company on the way to Monkey beach. Much friendlier than the second boat where I was nearly turfed off by a lady who insisted she had booked the entire boat privately for her family. Ah well. If Brits can do anything well, it's obstinately stand your ground when a small piece of official paper tells you you're in the right. So we stayed on that damn boat.

We had however spent all of our bus money on crisps on Monkey beach. This was a mistake & one I do not encourage. We needed to walk 5km to various hotels imploring people to try and call us cabs and furiously refreshing Grab. After multiple tries, an argument with 2 bus drivers eating dinner and a short rest in a 5 star hotel car park, we were saved by the lovely valet staff of the hotel Ansanga who managed to find us a cab home. This was 10x more expensive than the bus. Please learn from our mistakes and resist those island crisps. Keep some cash handy at all times!

We rounded off the day once we got back and showered with a late dinner at Tem Xim (Penang surprisingly has pretty limited food options past 9pm.. the local population prefers rising early and eating earlier.. look to eat between 6-8pm for the best options!)

The woman who owns Tem Xim, a thai charcoal bbq joint, is likely on some sort of wall somewhere alongside Mother Theresa, Marie Curie & Florence Nightingale. The woman's an artist at hospitality. She saw two floundering hangry westerners staring at chili sauce in beffudlement as to whether it would blow our face off or not and took pity. She was particularly informative and nice in helping us around the menu and it's one of the better dining experiences I think we'll have all trip not just for the quality of food, but also how genuinely kind everyone was. You can tell she does this a lot by the fact she's racked up 300+ 5* Google reviews, most of which mention her explicitly. Good on ya love, you've got one more from me. Hit up Tem Xim anyone reading this and visiting Georgetown.

Our last full day took us from our original plans to go to Penang Hill onto the Kek Lok Si temple instead because, oh boy, when it rains here, it rains. We had a pretty fantastic trip around all things considered and it's a stunning temple, only recently built in the 19th century, but built to impress with grand enormous 70ft tall statues, 7 story pagodas and seals of approval from Beijing about its status amongst Chinese temples. It's well worth a visit and if you want to you could combined it with a trip to Penang Hill to get the views quite easily for a jam packed day. We then did the customary 'eat absolutely everything' food tour, hitting up all the local favourites of Wanton Mee, Char Kaoy Teow, Apom, Lok Lok and Cendol because we are those people, and try and keep me away from weird novelty food. I will eat you.

It's been hard to get away from a fact that Penang doesn't feel quite recovered yet. There's people here, but it feels a bit stunted. Like the energy is yet to return fullly as the place isn't quite full. It's wonderful for a bit of pece and the lack of crowds is something we should be happy about but Georgetown is definitely somewhere I could feel like you could appear, without a purpose, without a clear sense of anything, and have a wicked time simply being. Come for 2 weeks, forget about everything, eat like a king for £3 and forget life happens outside this island. It's back to city life in Kuala Lumpur after this, but i've liked this sleepy little town and recommend it to anyone.

Signing off - DW

[userkay]

Can I just

aaaaaaaaa

i need to stop going back

just in my head so i vent here

[every trigger warning in the book]

lets go

Uk was great

I started to become a person

Not a gnarled up robot

Was admin for Christian Union for a year

turned out they were weirdly sexist

Left

Marched in pride

Figured out what i thought i wanted to do

Kinda didn’t totally hate myself

Well sometimes shit sucked

Wrecked my ankle in the first week

cobblestones are a safety hazard

they really need ankle insurance

went to the gp

they don’t have xrays

went to a&e

(oh btw with £100 in my pocket down fast on taxis)

supposedly not broken but like

Purple

Got strep the next day

Back to the gp

Sick for two weeks and the flat started

calling me ghost

That was a time

And third year when mushrooms started

growing on the ceiling in the bathroom

Had to move out

House hunted by myself

Housemates were out of town

House offer fell through

Got really sick

Don’t breathe in mushroom spores

obviously

Got into our new place

A couple weeks before hand in

So

Ya that didn’t go well

And then

idk when

post move

pre quarantine

Let’s go with

I got taken advantage of by a “friend”

Got turned down on a job opportunity

Hooked up with someone to “erase it”

Boom, covid

Like, immediately, that’s why that hookup ghosted

Oh well

Supposed to stay in the uk for my Masters Degree

Had that ripped out from under me

By the university

That i WORKED for

Two weeks before my lease let up

Packed up my shit

Found a storage unit

Organised international shipping

thank God for local friends

Fled the country lol jk not really but basically

(one plus, travel ban let up in time 🤦‍♀️)

Enter: Kentucky

Enter: My parents

Could be worse

Survived them before, right?

Ya well try in a red state

Where I know ✨no one✨

Other than their friends

So

Isolated

And burnt out

Decided to stay through the holidays

jobs weren’t moving anyway

Christmas passes

Mid January mom nopes out

Didn’t leave

Thought my dad was gonna go next

He was drinking into disaster

it was scary

So i stayed

He was drunk through my birthday

Still stayed

But threw all the alcohol away

Then my aderall prescription got yeeted

yote?

whatever

lost my SHIT

Last person i was vaguely irritated at took full force

yikes

i

ya

anyway

Got out of Kentucky for a while

Started to recover

Had to go back to Kentucky

Worked for a little

That was a hot mess

Not my fault, management made zero sense

Bad timing

Back at home

Dad was sober

Minus grass and nicotine

Same

Coping

So i didn’t say anything to him about it

But it was a lot

Got back on aderall

kinda

tried

i mean

I tried

But i had no one

Except him

And i was exhausted

Am exhausted

So then he starts to loose it

Get to be impossible

So i lost it a couple times

Not crazy lost it

Not like with the soot stuff

But screamed

Yelled

Slammed a couple doors

broke a wall

(That was an accident, thing hanging on the door handle flung off and hit the wall 😞)

Then he lost it worse

So i slept with that bat

Lights on

Door locked

Then the cops came

So he was gone for 72 hours

So i packed fast

Got the pets handled

Got my route plotted

Left before he could get me

Not that he was angry yet

Still manic

Got to California

Cats hq falls through because im not boosted

So i had to find a new place for her

Then the internet thinks im a racist

When honestly

I was just in fight or flight mode

and ya i didn’t hear myself

or think through what the fuck i was saying

nearly enough

But i was terrified

And exhausted

And used to fighting really really hard

So

it was hard to turn that off

but they accused me of doing nothing?

where’ve i been?

why haven’t i done a hundred things more?

it’s not that i didn’t care

i was just busy trying to survive

am, i guess

fuck im reading through this and im still missing stuff

Oh btw went to the ER on the 28th with a kidney infection ✌️😜

30/05/2022

[alex51324]

VOTE in US election November 2nd!

A reminder to all US citizens over 18:  there is an election happening this year, and you should vote in it!  This being an odd-numbered year, the elections are for various offices in local government, including things like mayors, city councils, school boards, and judges.  (In my state, they’re doing some races for state-level judges, as well as local ones.)  

Why You Should Care

These offices are extremely important.  Did you hear about that school where they banned books about racism?  That was the next school district over from the one I attended as a kid, and the story is actually worse than the headlines make it sound.  The School Board didn’t come up with the list of books to ban on their own, or even get it from Faux and Friends:  some teachers in the district developed an antiracism reading list, and when they shared it with the school board, the board straight-up banned everything on it.  

After receiving national attention for this move--as well as pushback from students and local residents--the board has since reversed the decision, but, the reason they did such a jaw-droppingly outrageous thing to begin with, is that conservatives--and especially Evangelical conservatives--routinely turn out for local elections, when other people don’t.  As a result, they can pack school boards--and city councils, local judicial benches, and other local offices--with people whose extreme views do not represent the community.  

And, through those local offices, they can have a tremendous--and often unseen--effect on day-to-day life in your local area.  Such as, for instance, deciding whether or not teachers in your community are allowed to tell pupils that racism is bad.  

This has been going on for a long time, all over the country--hence that one school board in my area being as bold as they were--but you can help push back against it by voting in your local election.  Voter turnouts are usually low in these off-off year elections, so, in a way, your vote actually has a bigger impact than in a Presidential election year.  

How To Get Informed

You may not have heard much--or anything!--about candidates up for election this year, or even what offices are being elected.  There’s still time to find out!

There are multiple websites where you can enter your address and get personalized information about what will be on your ballot (as well as where to vote, how to check your registration, etc.).  These three each have some degree of coverage for the local elections happening this year:

BallotReady.org:  This was the one that had the most detailed sample ballot for my address, including the municipal races like mayor, city council, school board, etc. 

Vote411 by the League of Women Voters. Very easy to use, but didn’t have all of my municipal races.

Ballotpedia only had statewide races for my area; their municipal coverage is limited to the 100 biggest cities in the US.  For the races it did cover, it had more detailed information about the candidates than the others did.

All three of these sites are nonpartisan in nature; when they show information about a candidate’s platform or positions, it is the information that the candidate (or their campaign) provided.  

In addition to these nationwide resources, there may also be local resources that will go more in-depth on the local races.  Try Googling “voter’s guide YourTown.”  

To Sum Up

Don’t forget to vote this year, folks, even though it’s an off-off year.  The people running for office this year will make decisions that affect daily life where you live; skip it, and you could end up with, like, a guy in charge of trash collection who thinks that germ theory is a liberal plot and we’d all be healthier if we wallowed in our own filth*.  

(*Please note that this is a hyperbolic example not based on any real-life instance of which I am aware.  However, I do live in a place where my local government decided, in early summer of 2020, to opt out of the statewide pandemic mitigation plan.  I would not be fucking surprised, is what I’m saying.)

[hualianff]

How To Piss Off Your Boss

Chef HC AU

A few months ago, by some miracle, Hai Ye successfully earned a position at Crimson Embers–a lavish dining establishment serving an array of traditional dishes from different regions. It has outstanding reviews praising the exquisite interior, seasonally rotating menu, and delicious food.

It’s been HY's goal since entering culinary school to work in a kitchen with other professionals who have the same visions as him when it comes to cooking. After completing his studies and working in a small restaurant in his hometown for five years, HY finally gets to pursue his dream in the big city.

Crimson Embers opens at 3 p.m. and closes at 10 p.m. Only seven hours of business, and yet, it’s one of the most popular upscale restaurants in the region. Reservations line up months ahead of time; walk-ins are still encouraged too because of how spacious the establishment is. Those seven hours are one of the most stressful shifts HY has had the experience of working in. He’s very proud of the work he does, as a cook and as a collective whole with the kitchen too.

On a regular Monday, everyone arrives for their shift three hours ahead of opening to prepare the fresh ingredients, sauces, meats, drinks, etc. The sight of the CEO of Crimson Embers, Hua Cheng, cleaning the already spotless counters greets them when they arrive in the kitchens. Apparently, HC has decided to not only visit this particular branch for the week but also take on the head chef’s duties and monitor the workers himself. 

All the cooks rush to throw on their aprons, tie back their hair, and wash their hands. HY follows his colleagues, blood pounding in his ears as his nerves threaten to get the best of him. Everyone naturally forms a line in front of the longest counter to stand at attention as HC waits expectantly at the front of the kitchen. 

“Everyone, it’s been a while since my last visit. I see some familiar faces-“ HC’s eye flickers down the line, landing on HY, whose posture is as straight as a rod. “-and some new faces. Regardless, I welcome you guys to another day of hard work, teamwork, and top-notch cooking. Every single one of you is here for a reason. This team may be smaller than others, however, you guys are just as capable of serving the best foods in the country and ensuring excellent customer service.”

HC shrugs off his maple-red long coat to reveal a chef’s shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his forearms. HY spots a hint of tattoos peeking underneath the sleeves, intrigued. HC doesn’t exactly portray the image of a CEO in the restaurant industry. He’s relatively young, long hair swept back into a braid, inked up, and with an eyepatch to top the look. HY has nothing but admiration for him.

“Let’s do a great job today. Let’s do our best,” HC says resolutely. He slams his palm down onto the counter with a loud thud! “Begin.”

“Understood!” Every cook shouts in unison, then scrambles to their stations to rapidly food prep for the night shift.

The hours leading up to the restaurant’s opening are a bit maddening. Everyone is on their best behavior, zoned in on their work under their CEO’s watchful gaze. As soon as customers start filtering in, the impending shitshow is set to begin. All the employees have arrived, including the servers who zip in and out of the kitchen doors like a hoard of worker bees. 

HC is very firm and direct with his orders. His voice, though not the loudest, holds the most power, which he wields as an experienced leader to run things smoothly. Unfortunately, when it gets extremely busy during the night, the head server requests HY to leave the kitchen to seat people because the other servers are busy, and HY has almost a decade of serving knowledge under his belt.

When HY walks to the entrance, there’s a man at the front of the line, dressed in plain black jeans and a white, long-sleeved turtleneck. His long hair is neatly tied back into a low ponytail, black-rimmed glasses perched on his nose. His outfit is simple in style, but he pulls it off exquisitely. HY swallows nervously before asking if the man has a reservation.

“No, I don’t. Though I was hoping I could get a table for two?” The stranger asks with kind eyes. The glasses don’t do anything to obscure how vibrant they shine in the bold lighting of the restaurant. 

“O-of course. Right away, sir,” HY replies. The man in white smiles warmly and HY’s heart skips a beat. He gestures for the stranger to follow him, leading the guest to a quiet corner near the window. Luckily, since it’s only the man and whoever he’s dining with tonight, a small table was readily available. 

“Can I get you started with anything to drink?” HY politely asks. The handsome man quickly looks over the drinks menu. The strands of hair too short to be contained by the hairband fall to frame the man’s face. He quickly tucks them behind his ear, then points to one of the cheapest options. 

“I think the Makgeolli will do. It’s my partner’s favorite,” the man orders. HY enthusiastically nods. 

“I’ll have that out right away, sir.”

“By the way, is the owner free? Hua Cheng?” The man inquires. He crosses his legs in an elegant display that shows off their muscles and length, straining against the jeans’ fabric. HY tries not to stare as the man’s glasses slide down his nose a bit, to which he pushes them back up with a flick of his slender fingers.

“Hua Cheng is here, yes. But he's very busy,” HY informs apologetically. “I’m not sure he has time at the moment.”

The man tilts his head, looking slightly puzzled. For a brief second, he looks as if he’s analyzing HY’s appearance. After an understanding nod, the man relents his question.

“No worries. Thank you for seating me,” the man says, maintaining his mellow tone. HY bends at his waist in a half-bow, then heads back into the kitchens. He has to go back to his station to add the finishing seasonings on the meats–not before informing a server of a guest who requires Makgeolli.

“A full bottle,” HY adds. Just to be generous. No one thinks anything of it.

Ten minutes pass as the kitchen is bustling with bodies moving in all directions and the chopping of knives on cutting boards. That is, until the head server bursts through the doors with an ultra-panicked expression on her face.

“Why did nobody tell me Xie-xiansheng is here!?”

The chaos in the kitchen comes to a dead stop: mid-slice, mid-fry, mid-mix, mid-squeeze. Everyone stares blankly at the head server, who waves her arms towards the dining area with wild eyes.

“Xie-xiansheng is out there right now, sitting ALONE, and just ordered the special meal he and Hua Lao Ban always share,” she frantically rushes out. This snaps several workers out of their shock. 

“Oh shit-“

“Xie-xiansheng has been here the entire time and we didn’t know-!?”

“Someone get Hua Lao Ban-“

“NO! Don’t get him yet, otherwise he’ll skin our asses alive!”

“Fuck, put the special at the top of the list- go go GO!”

HY’s mind spins with the casual conversations he overheard about HC’s partner. He doesn't know much besides how many find HC’s husband to be exceptionally kind and beautiful. HY hasn’t even had the chance to look at a picture of XL, much less meet him since HY has started working at Crimson Embers.

Wait a damn minute.

Was that man he seated…HC’s husband?

HY feels like throwing up upon realizing he had unknowingly signed his death wish. 

“Why the hell is no one working? Do you not see the crowd of guests out there waiting for their food?” An authoritative voice barks, entering from the back of the kitchen, holding up three plates of exquisite, garnished roasted duck. HC walks through the kitchen with his shoulders set back in confidence, his tall height bearing over the other cooks. “Everyone, get back to work! NOW!”

Before anyone can stop him, HC exits through the kitchen doors to the dining lobby, serving the dishes to the guests himself. The employees look at each other with fearful expressions. Their hearts have nearly stopped beating in their chests, HY’s heart skipping a beat for a whole other reason now. 

They are so screwed.

《II》

[azuremallone]

COVID-19 and YOU!

A unique perspective brought to you by Azure Mallone, an alien shapeshifting would-be-Empress marooned on Earth surrounded by monkeys (all you motherfuckers), who is responsible for the deaths of the dinosaurs during a drug and sex addled romp through space and time.

We open this evening by addressing the elephant in the room.

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s speak frankly about COVID-19 restrictions and guidelines. We all know that there’s all of these things that Government has decried as a must for everyone to follow. The problem is, none of it is legal. No laws have been approved by the people. No special powers have been granted to the Government to take away our freedoms. There’s science to be done.

Masking, double masking: Does it work?

No. The masks don’t protect you from COVID-19 or anything, really. They’re intended to prevent you from infecting others. You cough, sneeze, etc., and it’ll be caught by the panty that you now happily wear upon your face.

These are not respirators. They do nothing for filtrating the air you breathe. And with any of the true science that’s been performed, they further restrict the oxygen flow to your blood and brain. You can still get COVID-19 by touching a doorknob that someone touched after sneezing into their palm.

You can also catch the following things from doorknobs:

Norovirus

Flu

Pink eye

Salmonellosis

Mononucleosis

Hand-foot-and-mouth disease

Cytomegalovirus

Staph

RSV

Hepatitis A

Strep throat

Giardiasis

E. coli

Common cold

Genital and Oral Herpes

Human Papillomavirus (HPV)

Syphilis

Molluscum Contagiosum

However, you don’t need to declare your proof of vaccination for HPV, Hepatitis A, the Flu, or Mono. Furthermore, if you have HIV, you also don’t need to wear a mask despite the presence of the virus in saliva or other bodily fluids. You don’t need to test yourself before going on a plane to prove you don’t have the Flu or the Cold, HPV, Hepatitis A, Mono, or HIV.

Banned from entry unless vaccinated.

There is no legal precedent for a customer or worker who is infected with the Flu, a Cold, Mono, or HPV having successfully sued any workplace or business establishment on the suspicion that they caught said disease from said location. However, there are legal precedents for Hepatitis A infections where an establishment knowingly allowed an infected worker to handle food. The reason is that Hepatitis A is treatable (now curable) but if left untreated, one will recover from it within a couple of weeks. If a person is immunocompromised, it can cause severe damage to liver and kidneys. Hepatitis B and C are also curable.

However, customers themselves are not banned from eateries if they’re infected with Hepatitis.

Can businesses be sued for letting a COVID-19 infected customer in? Fuck no.

Can businesses be sued by employees for getting infected by another coworker? Nope.

Hepatitis is the only communicable disease where a business can be sued if they knowingly hid a worker’s infection and others got infected because they allowed the worker to continue working. HIV infected workers, who could potentially infect others, don’t have to tell others they’re infected. In fact, they don’t have to tell their employers. Furthermore, they are able to work with food.

This isn’t to say that both are the same, but as food for thought, could you imagine the uproar if everyone had to prove they were not HIV positive every time they entered a business or work? That everyone in the country had to take a test to prove they were not infected?

Why is that?

It’s to get everyone accustomed to being guilty until proven innocent. It’s to get everyone accustomed to being practically strip searched and your personal medical data being shared to everyone. It’s to train you all into being obedient little slaves to the Government.

It’s not about preventing spread. If it were, then who gives a fuck if some jacknut refuses to be vaccinated.

If the vaccine works: You don’t need a mask.

If you’re vaccinated: You don’t need a mask.

It’s that simple.

Yet, the vaccine being capable of reducing the effects or outright protecting from it, COVID-19 is obviously a Chinese biowarfare agent that was accidentally released. All of this hoopla about COVID-19 is to mask the truth. That the very people you all voted into power are the very people who are responsible for it having happened in the first place. They just want to milk it and suck up the power that you give them to protect you from a boogieman of their own creation.

Ever see those stupid ass stories that someone against vaccination ironically died from COVID-19? Almost every single one is, “[Woman/Man] who didn’t believe [vaccine/COVID-19] was real died from it.” How strangely coincidental that it’s always that person. It’s never any Democrat who was fully vaccinated. It’s always someone else.

That’s called propaganda.

Similarly, the flagrant misinformation and outright lies being slung about are so apparent that even Democrats are going...

What do we do, Azzy?

Rebel. Don’t show that vaccination card. Don’t mask up if you’re vaccinated.

Look, you’re going to say, “But I want to protect others! I want to protect myself! I want to protect my family!”

None of us are getting out of this Universe alive. We’re all going to die. There’s no telling when or how. You may think you have control over your own fate and can end yourself, but that doesn’t change the outcome.

You can either live in fear, or you can live in happiness.

You could be that person wearing layers of masks, happily walking down the street one minute... and dead the next from oxygen deprivation making you crash your car into a tree.

https://people.com/human-interest/man-wearing-n95-mask-passes-out-while-driving-car-crashing-into-pole/

[UN]Fortunately, this dumbass survived.

So it’s highly recommended that you folks wake the fuck up and start listening to reason. Masks aren’t about protecting yourself, it’s about protecting others if you’re infected. And if you’re vaccinated, you have little to fear. Even then, you could still die.

You could be the most masked, vaccinated, and healthiest person and you’re more than likely to get murdered by a thug than die of COVID-19.

However, if you’re admitted to the hospital with multiple gunshot wounds, your vaccination may register a false positive and you’ll be listed as a COVID-19 hospitalization and/or related death.

https://www.westernjournal.com/right-experts-confirm-covid-deaths-massively-inflated-actual-numbers-dramatically-lower-official-count/

Live freely my pets.

Now get the fuck back to work, my starship won’t repair itself.

[livvynka]

The Vacation (Kamilah & Amy) - Part 2

Warning: SMUT. I’m not native english speaker, feel free to correct me (i would be actually glad).

1100 + words

Tag list: @fal-carrington @samanthadalton @vonda-b-real @drmmyrs @straightlikewetspaghetti @blaine-hayes @lizielasyd @mrskamilahsayeed @millasayeed @ntoraplayschoices @ilove-kamilah-sayeed @kamilah-is-queen @rhonda-sayeed @queenkamilah @domakir @kwaj115 

Please consider following these people. They are talented and their blogs are great! If you want to be tagged or do not want to be tagged anymore, please, contact me.

And thank you for your support. I appreciate all likes, reblogs, comments. You are all amazing!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own these characters, they are property of PixelBerry studios!

.

.

.

Last part:

Amy:

“And I was always thrilled to make out on airplane… I think I need help with something in toilet… Care to join?”

Amy smirk at Kamilah and slide her hand to Kamilah side. Kamilah raise an eyebrow. Kamilah eyes flash in red for second.

Kamilah:

“Lead the way.”

Amy stand up and pull Kamilah by hand. Amy look in every direction so noone cant see them when they enter the toilet. Kamilah turn to door and lock them.

Amy push Kamilah against the door. Amy’s hand wondering at Kamilah belly.

Kamilah:

“Hmm, my dirty, dirty girl.”

Kamilah tries to escape, but Amy hold her hand above her head.

Amy:

“Shh… This trip is about making you feel good. Starting…”

Amy unbutton Kamilah’s pants and slightly touch her abdomen. Kamilah gasp, lean her forehead to cold material of the door. Try to gain some self-control... Amy turn Kamilah around, so she can face her and kiss her hungrily. By one hand still holding Kamilahs hands above her head and with other…

..

..

..

With other hand squeezing Kamilah’s side. Amy move to Kamilah’s jaw line, continues to Kamilah’s earlobe and bite hard. Kamilah arch to Amy with the growl.

Kamilag:

“When i take my hands to you, you will ... - aaah”¨

Amy tease Kamilah’s center thru her pants, lightly and yet it drives Kamilah crazy.

Amy:

“I very much hope so. But now...”

Amy pulls Kamilah out of her pants and underwear, throw her blazer to ground and rip her shirt in half. Than trace her nails over new revealed skin.

Kamilah shudder and her eyes change to crimson red. And said with shaky voice.

Kamilah:

“Amy just fuck me, I can’t handle this anymore.”

Amy:

“Alright my love”

Amy sink to here knees, pul Kamilah’s legs apart, let one of Kamilah’s leg relax on her shoulder. Then she start workship Kamilah. She suck her, lick her... Circling around Kamilah’s clitoris. With her hand squeezing her butt, another hand press on Kamilah’s stomach to hold her still.

Kamilah moan loudly, Amy stop and look at Kamilah directly.

Amy: “

You need to be quiet, in other way they ban us for next flights.”

Kamilah:

“We’ll see who’s gonna be .. - jeez -us --ss”

Amy enters two finger inside Kamilah and move her mouth to Kamilah’s vulva again. Teasing one of her nipple.

Kamilah start to tremble uncontrollably, pant heavily. Hands on Amy’s shoulders. Hold her firmly, she will leave bruises for sure...

Than Kamilah explode, two times in row... Throw here head back and bite her tongue. Amy uprise and kiss Kamilah. She whispers.

Amy:

“I love you soo much.”

When Kamilah catch here breath again she grabs Amy and lift her to the near sink. Amy let out a surprise moan and pull Kamilah to close the distance, legs tangled by her sides. Kamilah smirk on that move. She doesn’t hesitate and undress Amy completely. Kissing the path of nude skin of Amy’s. Amy grab her by chin and connect their mouth again. Kamilah smile into the kiss and than suck Amy’s bottom lip.

Kamilah: “

So horny and demanding...”

She’s merciful and give Amy what she wants. She slide her two fingers inside Amy. Amy roll her eyes when pleasure begins be hard to take. Kamilah fasten the pace a lick Amy’s nipple. With other hand teasing her clitoris. Amy start to shake and let out moan. 

Kamilah:

“What were you saying about not being loud?

”

She smirk at her wife. It was her lullaby. Watching Amy’s body shaking with the climax coming, hear her moans, when Amy says her name. It thrills her.

She pumps in Amy with unnatural speed. Amy cursed and bite into Kamilah neck with her fang fully out. She feed from Kamilah, but she does not care. She would give her anything.

Kamilah add the third finger when she feels Amy’s gonna fell of the edge any second.

Kamilah:

“Let go my Queen.”

Kamilah’s soft voice was the last string. Amy’s vision went blur and she shout hers wife name.

Amy: “Ka- Kamilah!”

Amy fell in Kamilah’s arms and giggle.

Amy:

“You are going to be dead of me. I love you more btw.”

Kamilah gives Amy sweet kiss and help her wife get dressed again. They go back to their seats.

Kamilah:

“That was something else. I need to say I start liking to fly in economy class.”

Amy:

“I wonder the reason behind it...”

She smiles at Kamilah teasingly.

Kamilah:

“You are right, we need this. And I do everything in my power so we enjoy this time. I want you to show you some places in Prague too. Maybe we can even extend our vacation.”

Amy:

“That would be perfect, I don’t really care where we go, I just want to be with you.”

Kamilah tangle their fingers and lean against Amy’s shoulder. Amy pets her head gently.

Amy:

“Maybe not everywhere. I don’t like Japan or ´Island of Death´.”

Kamilah chuckle.

Kamilah:

“Nor Japan or ´Island of death´ stop me to try to make you happy every second of our life.”

Amy: “

You know I will do everything in my power to make you happy too? You are the dearest person to me, and I’m nothing without you.”

Kamilah:

“For me you are everything...”

They both fall asleep when one of the fly attendant come and wake up Amy.

Fly attendant:

“Miss, pardon me, for waking you up, would you like to eat something? Here is the menu, we have some Czech and American possibilities for food. We will come in few minutes to take your order.”

Amy:

“Thank you, we will let you know.”

Amy:

“Kami, baby. Wake up.”

Amy kiss Kamilah’s nose and brush her fingers across her cheeks. Kamilah open her eyes slowly.

Kamilah:

“What's the matter? I was enjoying my sleep.”

Amy:

“We can try our first Czech food together, look.”

She handle the menu to Kamilah. Kamilah still leaning against Amy. Kamilah looks at the menu with reluctance

Kamilah:

“Do we need to eat this? We can eat when we land.”

Amy stomach rumbles. Kamilah sigh.

Kamilah :

”Alright let's have. Ermm. What is this? Ghulagshdsad soap”

Amy chuckle. And say with humor in her voice.

Amy:

“It’s now actually not bad food. And you can pronounce it ´Goo - laash´. Well, with consideration we are on airplane and the food in economy class is far away matching the real Goulash from country local restaurant...”

Kamilah:

“Fine, let’s have it.”

Soon, after they order it with Czech beer, Goulash arrive. Kamilah look at the soap with caution.

Amy:

“Do not worry. It’s stew of meat, almost everytime from beef or veal and vegetables, flavoured with paprika spice. Try it.”

Amy practically shove the spoon in Kamilah mouth. Kamilah eyebrow quirk and she look at her wife with annoyance. She let Amy feed her. She eventually like the ´Ghoulash´ food or whatever is that.

Kamilah:

“It’s spicy but acceptable.”

She took a spoon from Amy and eat almost whole bowl. Amy rise a eyebrow at her and giggle.

Amy:

“So its ´acceptable´ you say. Let me buy you real Ghoulash when we are in center.”

Kamilah with full mouth.

Kamilah:

“Uhm, yes please.”

After another 7 hours airplane land in Prague. It was night already. Amy hide yawn behind her hand.

Amy:

“Hmm, let’s get to our apartment to freshen up, and we can go for short walk.”

Kamilah take Amy’s hand and kiss her forehead.

Kamilah:

“Sure my love.”

...

...

...

PART 1

[dreamteamfanblog]

Obligatory I haven't kept up with Season Three at all and everything I talk about is pre Tommy dying, pre Niki joining the syndicate, pre Red Banquet, pre Los Navadas, pre Wilbur Revival, and pre Tommy/Ranboo marriage. To the point where I don't actually know functionally anything about any of the events I just mentioned except that they are the names of things that have gone down that y'all may know about so you can figure out when I stopped watching and what the most recent events at the time were. Pretty much everything I bring up in any of my posts will be primarily based in season one or season two discourse/events and I cannot promise anything is accounted for past the season two finale.

SO ONTO THE ACTUAL POST.

Hey why is it that the Techno Apologists never latch onto any examples of L'manburg actually being fucked up?

Like, it's always whining about how Techno was Betrayed when Pogtopia did literally exactly what they had been openly planning to do since the beginning, or about how The Butcher Army was supposedly so Mean and Bad for trying to execute Techno, or about how....idk man, L'manburg being awful solely because they were involved in so much conflict?

Which I mean not only are all of these arguments very weirdly untrue.

They're also super hypocritical.

Like it's so consistently argued that Techno didn't betray Pogtopia since he made his intentions clear from the start, but that also debunks their point that Techno was betrayed on account of the fact that Pogtopia made their intentions clear from the start too. People cheered and loudly passionately agreed and supported Techno's "And those that treat me with injustice — that use me, that hunt me down, that hurt my friends — I shall repay that injustice a thousand times over!" thing and yet this adamant support of such brutal retribution during a conflict in which Techno himself had landed the first blow....actively contradicts the narrative that the Butcher Army are bad and evil and had no right to do what they did? I mean Techno literally canonically both hunted Quackity down and hurt his friends and the case that Techno was used at all is only about as strong as the case that he used the others so either both of em' were or neither were, and in either case, there's no leg to stand on when Techno apologists happily support Techno destroying an entire nation including the lives and homes of people who had nothing to do with The Butcher Army yet also scoff at the very idea that executing a war criminal for murder and terrorism against them could possibly be anything other than horrifically evil and corrupt! Not to mention that again, "L'manburg are filled with such Violent Troublemakers who cause so much Chaos and Conflict", is a really weird and hypocritical thing to claim when you're defending mister Blood For The Blood God over here who literally jumped in the second he heard the word Revolution because he was just that fucking ready to fight then canonically took the lives of multiple members of L'manburg and blew up their whole city while explicitly talking about his desire for Chaos in a "Dog Eat Dog World"????

Like not only is it pretty easy to argue all these points on a "that's like factually incorrect?" basis alone but even completely refusing to touch that angle, literally nothing L'manburg did that's brought up by Techno Apologists as a gotcha can stand as an actual argument in his favour because every single fucking bit of it is stuff that Techno himself holds as part of his Oh So Righteous Ideology and it really doesn't work to say "Retribution is bad, but Retribution For Retribution! THAT I can get behind!" or "Conflict is bad, except when the bloodshed is For The Blood God of course" or "Pogtopia still Used and Betrayed him even though they were upfront from the start and the alliance was a mutual agreement initiated by Techno actually but Techno didn't use or betray anyone, he was upfront from the start and the alliance was a mutual agreement, how could he have betrayed them?"

Which is actually Painful lately because THERE ARE ACTUAL POINTS YA'LL COULD BE MAKING THAT AREN'T COMPLETELY FALSE OR HYPOCRITICAL ACTUALLY!

I don't support c!Techno by any means, in large part because I don't think he believes what he says and even if he did he hurts the people in his attempts to 'help'. But i'd like to point out very easy arguments to make in favour of the ideology and stance many Techno apologists seem keen on arguing he has.

For example, what about the L'manburg election? Two of the parties committed voter fraud which actively put the liberty/freedom of the people at risk. There was literally One decent party who's entire reason for joining was literally "Hey that's really fucked up that you just tried to ensure your own governmental power through unfair means at the expense of the people's agency?" with a side point of "Also while we're at it maybe you shouldn't ban a whole group of people from your country entirely all because like Two people who happen to be part of that group hurt you, that's kinda messed up too" and then there was a fourth party who literally Opened their campaign by swinging at other people and manically declaring their power. In the end the guys who literally tried to rig the election and honestly should have been banned outright from running because of the blatant act of corruption still won popular vote and in a desperate attempt to mediate how Bad of a decision the people had made there the one halfway decent candidate pooled votes with the only dude who didn't commit voter fraud but then the people still suffered because the coalition was quickly completely overpowered by the more corrupt/violent party and literally no amount of attempts to make things better through begging him to listen or going behind his back to free people who'd been unfairly imprisoned or anything else along those lines could change the fact that "I'm the president here, not you~". This situation was really fucked up. Behind door number one we've got the Hamilton Cosplay Tyrants who keep talking about the Glory Days or the War Effort or whatever and won't let anyone who doesn't have a similar enough accent to them into the country. Door number two are the Baked Goods Tyrants who are using this election to promote their cookies and stick it to the candidates dad that he's cooler than him or whatever, they literally hack the voter count and are Known for dragging other people into petty conflict (and not like "fighting your oppressors is so unnecessary" anti-l'manburg bad take levels of supposed "petty conflict", i mean like, actual petty conflict, case in point the damn pet wars). Then with door number three there's the Alcoholism-Is-Cool Tyrant man who at least didn't fudge any votes but also has never not been drunk and literally hunted the other candidates for sport when he first showed up so I mean in what world is this guy a stable candidate for anything at all, much less for a position of authority over people as influential as president. Now, behind door number four, there's actually a...pretty decent option? The entire reason he joined to begin with is because he was absolutely enraged by the corrupt bs the others were pulling with their little "run a single party election" stunt. The other party's spread blatantly false quotes supposedly from him to make him look bad. The other parties go out of their way to burn down his builds. He's honestly relatively cordial in comparison but still hits hard during debates, mainly because he's got some points. "There's good in everyone", i've been told he'd insisted, trying his best to talk to one of the other candidates and get to know him only to be shut down entirely. There were three AWFUL candidates and one honestly good one. And yet the way the system was set up meant there was pretty much no chance of winning. Meant the people were screwed no matter what. The people trying to commit ballot fraud and slandering the competition were the ones who set the terms of the election, two complete randos who didn't bother signing up initially showed up drunk or trying to prove something to their dad and also just all around being Awful and they were still allowed to enter. Which all kinda fucked Quackity over, actually. And then he was forced to either let Wilbur have full control knowing how corrupt and manipulative he was or pool votes with the violent drunk and maybe swerve their shared administration into something good. The entire setup from the word go completely fucked over Quackity and that

completely fucked over the innocent people of L'manburg. And even going into their shared administration, Quackity was so powerless! Schlatt did horrible corrupt things to everyone and Quackity was there at every juncture trying his absolute best to mediate that. But there was so little he could do from his position that he had to resort to very non legal methods like breaking Niki out of jail behind Schlatt's back, standing in the blast radius while he tried to convince Schlatt not to go through with Tubbo's execution because they can't just take the shot with him standing in the line of fire trying to talk them out of it surely, and even eventually firing an arrow into Schlatt and being the only person to canonically have the guts to not only walk out of Manburg of their own free will openly spiting Schlatt, but the only person who had the guts to purposefully take a life from him as well. And. Well. THIS IS ALL A HUGE FUCKING ISSUE. There was no good reason someone corrupt had to win that election, there was even a decent candidate running! And genuinely for no other reason than because the alternatives were Really Fucked Up as well! Then the fact that Quackity, even as vice president, had so little say in anything that he wasn't even legally allowed to protect good people from wrongful imprisonment or stop Schlatt from tearing down priceless monuments that meant a LOT to people? That's so much worse. Corrupt people designing the system specifically to facilitate their corruption and lend an unreasonable amount of power to a select few people to the extent where the goddamn vice president, another member of the government, can't do anything legally to stop the president from doing horrific things. That's bad. That is actually really bad. And even beyond the bullshit of the election and how little Quackity could do about any of this despite literally doing everything he was supposed to and was legally capable of doing, there's the added layer of how little agency the people of L'manburg had in all of this! Schlatt's main political rivals were immediately exiled- and not even for the corruption scandal, literally just because they were Schlatt's political rivals- and he literally threw his dissenters in jail not to mention executing a kid and tearing down important history. I mean, he had an approval rate of Literally Nobody and was actively hurting/oppressing his people. And there seemed to be literally no impeachment process at all in place and when the people he was meant to lead unanimously took up arms against him THEY were criticized and labeled as villainous usurpers as the vague ideal of ~Legality~ was placed as more important than actual real life people. trying to live without a dictator hanging constantly over them! Schlatt's technical legal position is regularly cited as a mark against the Pogtopia revolution, because apparently Schlatt's right to sit upon a blood coated throne drinking his life away ruling a ghost town where nobody felt they could safely live was somehow more important than the rights of every single person who lived in and loved that nation to stay alive and feel secure in their own homes! In this case the government did fail. In this case corrupt people set up a corrupt system that boosted other corrupt people with no reasonable way for any single good politician to negate nor any way for the people themselves to change this. Not without going outside of the law and being deemed immoral for impeding on the rule of their rightful leader. This IS a situation in which the government systematically hurt and failed the people in ways that were near impossible to change or escape. THIS IS L'MANBURG HAVING A CORRUPT GOVERNMENT.

Look no further than mister Dreamwastaken for more examples of governmental corruption! I mean, sure, Dream never technically held an office, but his lack of title does nothing to change his position as the ruler of the Smp. Dream is the one who names and dethrones kings, Dream is the one who chooses which nations to legitimize and which to destroy, Dream is the decider of the laws of this land and he can add or remove them as he pleases down to exerting his permission to break even the most sacred laws of the server such as killing within the holy lands. It doesn't matter if Dream had a specific title, he was, by definition, Government. Government is "the governing body of a nation, state, or community", a governing body is the person/people with authority to conduct the policy, actions, and affairs of a state, organization, or people. Dream. Was. Government. Corrupt government! From the very beginning of the server exerting his supreme god given control over people who didn't want it! Lying, cheating, stealing, killing, forcing his will onto others, hurting the people constantly. Dream was an honest to god tyrant, even moreso than any other villain on the server had ever been! And if you look back at every other awful thing that happened in the series it links back almost without fail to him. To his control. I mean need I remind everyone that one of the primary reasons Schlatt wasn't forcefully overthrown sooner was because Dream was standing in support of his rule? Need I remind everyone that the entire reason L'manburg ever had to exist anyway was because unionizing and protesting and standing as a united front was the only way the people of the server could hope to escape Dream's unwanted and oppressive government? Dream stood behind the actions of damn near every terrible government official we ever saw as well with the one exception being maybe Badboyhalo. Dream was government and he was extremely corrupt. Like. BLATANTLY so.

And god, i'm still shocked by how little I saw Techno apologists talk about the fucking exile. I mean dear god. That was the accumulation of like Every shitty government problem in the whole server. I mean first off enter Dream being unreasonable and Awful again, obviously, I mean Tommy burned a few blocks, who cares, it was fixed in like five seconds and George didn't even care that much. But Dream used his position as, y'know, the governing body of the Smp, to blow it out of proportion and demand Tommy be unfairly and disproportionately punished. Not only did Dream's governing position enable him to do this, he took advantage of George's and Tommy's own positions as a means to twist the narrative in his favour. Dream blatantly exploited his government position, George's government position, Tommy's government position, and then worst of all Tubbo's. Quackity and Fundy desperately urged Tubbo not to go through with the exile, Ranboo swiftly snapped to Tommy's defense and called out that this whole thing was completely unfair, Tommy himself was completely dismayed and insisted this wasn't right. And it wasn't! Anyone could see that, this whole situation was a blatant abuse of government power in like ten different ways from Dream and the only thing to do was to shut him down! It would be a betrayal to everything they stood for, to their personal relationships, to the duty they had to protect innocent people, to general morality and basic principles, to go through with the exile, and the majority of people felt this very strongly. Wanted to protect Tommy and themselves from Dream's governmental abuse. But Tubbo did it anyway. This was the decision of two people and two people alone. Dreamwastaken and Tubbounderscore. But their opinions were the only ones that mattered, because they're the leaders. They're the heads of government. And if they spoke the command, to see that Tommyinnit were out of their territories where he would be tortured and abused for months? Then so be it. Then their word is law. Fundy and Quackity were struck with complete horror, they screamed, they pushed, they were in complete and utter disarray, and there was nothing they could do as long as Tubbo held to his decision because as we established back during Schlatt's reign, not even a good politician desperate for things to be better holds a candle to the decision of the president, and there's nothing that can be done, because he's president and they're not. Within much of the fandom Quackity and Fundy were criticized for "disrespecting" Tubbo's choice. Because what right did they have to speak out against the choice of the president? Tubbo was in charge, and it was their job to shut up and facilitate his decisions. That was an implication I saw often at the time. That because Tubbo was president, because of his title, his governmental position, his opinion was inherently more important and was absolutely not subject to scrutiny from those 'below' him. That the anger and hurt and fear of Quackity and Fundy, of real people, for their livelihoods and their safety and their friend, were less important than Tubbo's decision. This placement of Tubbo as 'above' the others and the implication that they are obligated to bite their tongues for the sake of 'respect' towards their president and his authority? It was complete and total bullshit. And I fully expected the Techno apologists to come out of the woodwork to affirm this! I fully expected to be able to agree with the Techno apologists for once, maybe not on every level, but at the very least on the level that this situation oozed governmental abuse from every pore and the idea that real people who felt hurt and scared and betrayed and angry because of Tubbo and Dream's little political nightmare were somehow out of line in their intense feelings because Tubbo's word is law and they need to show some respect to their government? I thought immediately that there was NO way in HELL this wouldn't be picked up immediately by the anti government Techno apologists!

But the thing is. It wasn't.

None of these were.

Techno apologists rarely acknowledge any of these actual examples of the government being really fucked up in favour of exhaustingly see through and hypocritical non examples to justify Techno's anti-government stance.

And, well, I highly suspect the reason for this is exactly the reason I can't support the perspective of c!Techno to begin with despite how I just went on my own rant about government corruption.

And that reason is because Techno, and by association the people who argue for his world view, don't actually care.

I mean, let me ask you a question. Just really, truly, honestly. In all of these examples of real honest to god government corruption issues from Wilbur to Schlatt to Dream.....who were the victims?

The people.

The people of L'manburg.

Tubbo, Niki, Fundy, Tommyinnit, Quackity. I mean they Kinda played parts in Some of these issues but usually under direst distress/manipulation from Wilbur or Schlatt or Dream.

The people who suffered, the people who's lives were effected, the people who were disproportionally hurt by all of the real governmental issues on the server are the people of L'manburg. The people who suffered under Schlatt's leadership, the child executed unfairly, the woman thrown in prison, the one politician who fought to make things right but was overpowered at every step, the people who lost their homes, the people who lost their friends, the other child exiled and abused for months for no good reason, the two who begged and pleaded and did everything to stop it only to be left powerless to protect him, even the young president himself cornered into this decision by fear and trauma and threats from somebody intent on exploiting the governmental dynamics to hurt people. Those are the fucking victims!

And nobody defending a Techno perspective can afford to acknowledge a situation in which the people of L'manburg are the victims!

It's a question nobody seems to know how to answer, really. The argument is made and even taken for granted as true that Techno things governments are corrupt and oppressive, he did what he did to protect the people this oppression would hurt. But who exactly are these people Techno protected? Where are these livelihoods defended? These lives saved? These homes maintained? These happy people Techno saved from the oppressive government?

The truth is that they're not real.

And the only people Techno ever managed to hurt were the victims he claims to be defending from the corruption of governments.

Now, the sources of corruption were Wilbur, Schlatt, Dream, and their policies. The way the elections were set up, the unfair power dynamic established by the corrupt first two presidents of the nation, and the control/abuse Dream exerted from his own governmental position. So naturally anybody who wants to actually tackle government corruption in the Smp needs to take care of them first and foremost. Get Wilbur and Schlatt out of power at least, get rid of Dream period, and then start reforming and limiting governmental controls. If not completely dismantling the government at least establishing things within L'manburg like actually effective checks and balances within the governmental body, setting up an impeachment process, putting harder vigilance onto what a president can or can't do, upheaving and adding more restrictions/rules/protections within the election system, etc. Outside of L'manburg would be trickier, however it likely wouldn't be too difficult to at least significantly alter/water-down the roles of Eret or George or whoever the king is at this point, again, if not entirely abolishing the role. The Badlands are a weird situation and honestly especially with the whole egg thing they'd for sure still be an Issue and a lot harder to reform but I mean to be fair their whole schtick is literally just being a corrupt government and trying to take as much land as possible and rule the world so what you wanna do there is use the same force you used with Wilbur, Schlatt, and Dream to disband The Badlands.

"Woah Woah Woah, you talk about that like it's so easy, that wouldn't be possib-"

yes it would be.

Schlatt died of alcohol poisoning before we could even touch him, Wilbur threw himself onto a sword with gusto, and Dream for all his bravado literally did not put up any fight once people got off their asses for two seconds to take care of him, okay? And again, The Badlands are a more worrying situation with The Egg and the amount of land they own and Sam's jurisdiction over the prison and all, but I mean from what i've heard via word of mouth pretty much everyone's canonically sick of their shit and are fairing pretty well thus far all things considered.

"Okay, fine, Beating People Up is easy enough, but what about the real work of government reforms?!? All these people are so Greedy and Powerhungry they'd neve-"

That's the whole thing, though, isn't it? They're NOT. Quackity spent literally the first two seasons at least as an active part of the government and he did fuck all for himself, he spent the whole time trying to stop Wilbur's corruption after finding out about his voter fraud or trying to stop Schlatt's corruption from hurting people or trying to stop Dream's corruption or trying to make sure his friends aren't abused/killed/jailed for no good reason or trying to keep their homes from being blown up again and the only reason he even got involved in politics at all was literally specifically because Wilbur was trying to run a one party election and SOMEONE had to put their foot down there, Quackity's always been very about Power To The People and preserving the rights/history of the people generally and has a history of stepping back into a less commanding role when he's secure in the knowledge that he doesn't Need to be taking charge or everyone might suffer/die/lose-their-homes-again. Tommy outright refused to be president when he was given the chance and has really consistently moreso cheered for the people he loves when they land in some sort of office rather than persuing leadership himself, and while he's been very willing to take up a leadership role when it's needed and people are in danger/in need of someone to step up and rally them, Tommy would really rather just listen to his music discs and spend time with his friends and pull a few relatively harmless pranks here and there and make big ugly (/lh/pos) cobble towers that he's so proud of anyway and doesn't seem to get why everyone else exasperatedly roll their eyes at them because he just thinks they're so neat! Tubbo is much the same, he took on a leadership position when it didn't seem there was any other choice but to do so but he's been content to play support for the most part other than that and really truly just wants to live a peaceful life with his bees and his best friend. Fundy and Niki actively chased the presidency at one point, of course, and I used their campaign as an example of corrupt bs as well, but honestly they were just dumb rebellious teens who didn't seem to get the weight of the election and just kinda like handed out pastries then lost miserably, so I mean, more than forgivable on their part, really, and for the large majority of L'manburg's history they followed in everyone else's pattern of stepping in when people need to be protected but otherwise just trying to live happy peaceful normal lives. This little group spent the large majority of their time in L'manburg just trying to defend themselves and their homes and each other from corruption and oppression so that maybe just maybe they could finally get to rest knowing that nobody's in any danger. If the danger went away, so would their need to step in. Quackity would go do some dumb (/lh/pos) bit where he puts on a ridiculous skin and sings even more ridiculous songs, Niki would be baking cookies and sharing them with her best buddy Fundy and anyone else who wanted to drop by, Tubbo and Tommy would be in a field somewhere watching the bees and listening to Mellohi while they giggle to themselves waiting for someone to find the big goofy posters they put up everywhere as a prank. That's who they were for the large majority of their arcs throughout L'manburg's existence. On the other side of things neither George nor Eret really care too deeply about the crown either. George only ever wanted a crown after he lost it, not because of the power, but because he was hurt by Dream's lack of regard for him. Eret on the other hand has a precedent of putting aside his crown for the wellbeing of other people and has long since resolved himself to be better than the person he used to be. None of them would be opposed to heavy reformation or even absolution of government powers. The entire reason L'manburg even exists is because of the fear and trauma and pain that came from the oppressive government force that is Dream and the people's desire to cling together for a chance at personal

freedom, with the threats gone they don't need to hold on quite so hard. These were never powerhungry monsters, these were victims of oppression and abuse and violence that spent their entire lives trying to defend themselves and their homes so they could just be happy and free.

These are the measures Techno SHOULD have taken! These are the people he SHOULD have been protecting! If he stands by his ideology that governments are oppressive and hurt people and if he truly did want to protect people from that oppression then why DIDN'T he?!?

Why didn't his morals and principals and desire to take down oppressors kick in during the festival when he was ordered by a tyrant to kill a child and did it instead of standing up and protecting the victims of tyranny?!? Why didn't he take Wilbur down when he realized how full of greed envy Wilbur was and that he planned to hurt people?!? Why did he, multiple times, work with Dream, the epitome of government oppression on the server?!? Why is it that the only people Techno consistently targets are the VICTIMS of the actual governmental oppression that Techno largely ignores?!?

And THAT is exactly why you don't see Techno apologists going on and on about how unfair the election was because of Wilbur or how the presidency in L'manburg was set up to where despite people trying desperately to push back Schlatt could not be opposed legally or how Dream is literally the most horrifically oppressive tyrant who is a prime example of how governments can be extremely corrupt. You never see Techno apologists going on about any of these ACTUAL issues because when you talk about Wilbur and Schlatt and Dream a bit too in detail a little bit of focus ends up on who exactly their victims were and there doesn't seem to be a good explanation regarding Techno's extreme actions only extending to victims of governmental abuse often in only minor roles of power if even that out of necessity to protect against the real oppressors. Why Techno's extreme actions frequently involved working alongside these actual oppressive forces against a group of people who literally want to be left alone and are only part of/live under a government like the one they do because they're in constant danger and this is the only way to maybe protect yourself and others against someone like Dream.

Tommy, Tubbo, Quackity, Fundy, and Niki shouldn't have been Techno's enemies. They shouldn't have been his targets! THEY hate oppressive government just as much as he does! They don't want anything to do with this bullshit anymore than he does! The side you see Techno Apologists claim he's on is literally THEIR SIDE. If he truly believes what he says and wants to fight tyranny then these are his allies! These are the victims he's so invested in looking out for! And yet these are the people he's slaughtering and bombing and aiding in the oppression of!

Techno apologism, by its very nature, requires you to see these citizens of L'manburg as oppressive. Requires you to see at least Tommy and Quackity as powergrabbing foolish tyrants who care more about the government then people. I heavily suspect this is the primary reason most Techno apologists aren't keen on looking at actual examples of this government corruption Techno talks so much about.

I mean, if you bring up the election in too much detail as an example, stressful little details like Wilbur's voter fraud and the fact that Quackity's entire motive for ever running for an office was to prevent government corruption. Which is a sticky scenario because Techno helps Wilbur in the end and seriously hurt Quackity in specific a Lot throughout this arc. Techno apologism relies a biiitttt too much at speeding by Wilbur real quick and hoping nobody points out that Wilbur wasn't motivated by a desire to get rid of governments but rather by a sense of envy and entitlement that if he can't have it noone can as well as relying on the ability to swiftly and decisively assert Quackity's motives as powergrabbing from the election onwards. Examining the corruption in the election itself throws that off. A Lot. When you have to look head on at Wilbur's corruption the fact that his "If I can't have it noone can" thing was a corrupt government official hurting the people out of envy and pride, and Wilbur's main source of contention being Quackity very quickly comes into focus as everyone suddenly remembers that hey, wasn't Quackity the only one who didn't commit fraud, and didn't he run in the first place to fight government corruption? And then Techno's role in all of this looks significantly odder and less in line with the claims that he's heroically opposing corruption. Furthermore examining the power dynamics of the tyranny within Schlatt's reign, you see a president with too much power enabled by Wilbur's shotty election system and Dream's vocal support, something outwardly opposed by the people beneath them; Tommy, Tubbo, Niki, Fundy, Quackity, who are all hurt by this abuse of government power more than anybody else is. Similarly the exile decision. Examining Dream as a tyrant is in of itself a sore spot on account of Techno's fairly frequent alliances with him. But even worse is what happens when you acknowledge the extent of Tubbo's power as president and the idea that his decision is inherently more important than the feeling of his people who he hurt, which is a good point towards the corruption of the government, but intensely highlights Fundy and Quackity's responses as valid or even correct, something that Techno apologists really can't do for obvious reasons.

Techno's perspective and actually defending it relies heavily on the villainization of victims and the understatement of real sources of corruption. It's a trade off, it seems. There are many points that can be made to form a very strong case against the government dynamics on the smp, something that would do wonders in strengthening the Techno Apologist claim that Government Bad, Anarchy Right, however this comes at the tradeoff of making it clear that the oppressive government forces come from people like Dream or Wilbur and not people like Quackity or Tommy who are the victims of said oppressive government, something that you REALLY cannot afford to imply if you're trying to argue that Techno was right and was working from a desire to prevent oppression when he worked with Dream and Wilbur to hurt Quackity and Tommy. I doubt this is intentional obviously because who the fuck takes a stance in discourse that they Know For A Fact Is False, lol, but if you believe Techno's right then you also have to believe the people of L'manburg are power hungry or tyrannical which means doing these mental gymnastics often without realizing it.

So we see these debates stick to examples like The Butcher Army, things that are significantly flimsier but also aren't liable to literally cripple their claim if examined too closely.

But the truth continues to be that Techno has irreparably hurt and traumatized the victims of the very kind of governmental abuse that it's so often claimed he's protecting people from. When he should have been fighting people like Dream, Wilbur, and Schlatt, and helping the people of L'manburg recover and reform their community, he instead attacked and destroyed and killed these people, often fighting alongside real tyrants in doing so.

I mean, hell, if Techno really was super against oppressive governments and wanted to fight/destroy them and help the victims? He and Quackity would be best friends. Quackity stood up against Wilbur's corruption at every turn and was the first person to do so, and if Techno actually fought corruption half as much as he claims to, he would have been right there with Quack rather than colluding with Wilbur to destroy innocent people's land. During the festival execution Quackity was trying his absolute best to put a stop to it and even stood in the blast radius while doing so, if Techno had cared half as much as he claims he does about tyranny then he wouldn't have taken the fucking shot, not with Quackity in the line of fire, not at Tubbo to begin with. Quackity realized that they needed to shake Dream off once and for all or they'd never truly be free from abuse of power from those above them, and if Techno really truly had a vested interest in freeing victims from governments that hurt them then he would have been right there at Quackity's side throughout season two. And yet not once, through the two seasons I watched of screentime with them, not once was there a moment in which they were working towards the same thing. At the festival, Techno had the chance to run or refuse or realign his shot to take out Schlatt instead and very likely would have made it out alright, meanwhile Quackity was actively putting his life at risk by standing where he was and making the attempts he was to make Schlatt see reason even though Quackity was pretty much unarmed, had a rocket pointed near him, and his entire life was in L'manburg, it was Quackity who had more to lose and Techno who had the chance to run, and yet it was Quackity alone who stood against the orders of a tyrant and voiced that this shouldn't be happening, and it was Techno who took not only Quackity's life but the life of a child as well when he took the shot anyway. As soon as he'd joined Pogtopia, Quackity was opposing Wilbur, standing besides Tommy in the button room and putting his own life on the line as well while they tried desperately to convince Wilbur not to ruin innocent people's lives, and yet Techno not only never put himself at risk to stop Wilbur, he actively collaborated with Wilbur, with a corrupt politician, as he planned to selfishly steal the happiness of the people just because he lost his own power. That's not even to speak of Doomsday, in which Techno, with actual corrupt politicians all around him, aimed weapons of mass destruction towards their victims, towards Quackity and everyone he loved. And of course, Techno wasn't there to help fight Dream, the L'manburg cabinet even suspected he may help, he's meant to be against tyranny after all, but of course, Techno wasn't there, and in fact allied himself with Dream yet again throughout the season. If Techno ACTUALLY followed through with his supposed principals, the people of L'manburg would have loved him, especially Quackity, who is very much similar to what Techno claims to be (someone who's fierce in his defense against corruption and who will fight almost without fail for victims of oppression and against harmful systems even if he's not always particularly palatable and nice and malleable in his regard towards tyrants), and the fact that they specifically have been played against each other at literally every single turn to the point where Techno, after having associated himself with helping fuckers like Schlatt, Wilbur, or Dream for so long, joined them on Quackity's list of people who've treated him with injustice, hunted him down, hurt his friends, and needs to be repaid- oh huh sounds familiar. Like Quackity is in a lot of ways what Techno would be if his ideology actually lined up with the heroic freedom fighter against tyranny ideology that's subscribed to him way too often despite the fact that he's either so weirdly out of touch he completely misread ALL the dynamics on this server or he genuinely honest to god doesn't actually believe in or care about his whole I Fight The

Immorality Of Government Corruption thing.

Hell, beyond literally Quackity actually, just look to Puffy for the actually honest and good aligned alternatives for people who say they want to fiercely fight against corruption and actually do it.

Idk man, it's just weird to me. I didn't even plan the ending of this post like at all, the premise was just supposed to be pointing out the actual government corruption and asking why Techno Apologists weren't on that but then the whole 'okay but if you pay attention to all that then techno's literally been targeting the victims of the corruption he claims to hate instead of helping them fight it' realization hit and I was like, Yep, His Whole Anti Government Ideology Still Doesn't Check Out.