#things to remind myself

[theereina]

[creatingnikki]

things to remember in 2023

goodbye emo era, goodbye empath era, goodbye all you eras that have been putting others + emotions at the center of everything. hello self-serving era. self-serving, not selfish. see, more accurate vocabulary can make all the difference. 

choose people who choose you. bare minimum is not impressive. it’s only an indicator that hmmm maybe I can explore what something with this person could lead to. it’s the basic eligibility criteria for opening up your time/schedule to someone, not heart. only time. 

new people don’t need to know life stories and trauma from before 2018. if you want to talk about it just write about it, write it into your book. 

do not listen to your parents. I mean this in the most respectful possible way. you are an adult now, you make your own decisions. because 20 years from now if you are sad and miserable and hating your life and you tell them hey it’s because you made me la la la chances are they are going to turn around and be like nobody forced you, you were an adult, you made your own decisions. so just make your own decisions. and they would be right. like just dodge the emotional manipulation and the drama and the guilt and lack of validation from them for a bit and go ahead and do things you want to in your life. and you already have daddy issues, right? pacify them in bed or something idk. just make your own bloody decisions independent of what your family/others expect of you.

explore more Hindi music. 

channelize certain things you’ve seen in most men around you. channelize compartmentalization. channelize binary problem solving. channelize cutting your losses and exiting at the right time from romantic situations that do not have any future no matter how much you feel for them in the present. 

do not force yourself to write fiction. maybe you don’t want to create stories. maybe you just want to write down what you already know. maybe you just want to write creative non-fiction. why is that a bad thing? don’t you think it’s time to let go of the ideas you have hyper-romanticized and see things for what they really are and then work with them? 

dating apps are not where you will find love. hook-ups, maybe. but drama-free hook-ups? yeah, not quite sure about that either. let’s just go back to how we were before? let’s just focus on our life and believe that love will happen if and when it’s supposed to? 

self-dates must make a return. you found that amazing second-hand bookseller next to your home and your favourite cafe from Bangalore is now in Mumbai and so many new art galleries are opening up around and when was the last time you went to Marine Drive and maybe it’s time to sneak into your college to go have your favourite food again from the canteen and maybe after work you can stay around and explore the popular bars and maybe you can find a post office next to your new apartment so you can start sending letters and packages to your best friend again. I know, I know 2022 was a year of such dramatic highs that gave you such adrenaline rush that coming back to things that were more grounded and brought you joy seems difficult but baby please. you cannot run towards psychosis so soon, okay? come back. 

on that note, let’s find a yoga class around your apartment and also a gurudwara. 

sign up for experiences and invest for the long term but do not invest in material things like furniture. at this point you are the typical mid-20s person who is free to up and leave whenever and wherever and you haven’t found a place you want to call home yet anyway. so keep your money liquid, don’t lock it up in stupid things, but invest for the long-term in equity assets to create wealth. also, go meet your accountant please. and get life insurance. 

do not let family stuff get to you emotionally. deal with it in a logistic, functional, and objective way. as much as possible. 

you really don’t have to respond to people within 24 hours, 48 hours, or even a week. I mean other than very few selected people (family, best friend, and your partner), nobody is owed your immediate attention. and even these inner circle people are owed your immediate attention only in a way where you keep them in the loop to let them know you are alive and doing okay. 

you are a warm person and it’s easy for people to like you wherever you go. but you have such limited time, energy, and brain cells. you cannot scale yourself like a company. which means if you more people want to get to know you, talk to you, etc., you can’t supply them with that because you are not a scalable product. okay? okay. 

earning more money will help only in a limited manner if you do not budget and control your spending. it’s not the person who earns more that is rich but the person who saves and invests and doesn’t take debt for consumption purposes. you can no longer be the ironic financial writer like in the confessions of a shopaholic. you are no longer a kid, you are an adult who has to take care of yourself and soon your dependents and so you cannot keep ranting on about capitalism while falling constant prey to it. instead you have to benefit from it.

figure out what is your choice of poison. for when you wanna just vibe, for when you want to get drunk drunk, for when you wanna be bhand. figure it out. 

think of studying Korean as doing an undergrad degree. so you know you have to stick with this for the next three years. this way you don’t see it as a short-term fancy but as a longer term commitment and reach level 6 of fluency in the language. this way, by the time you are in your late 20s, you will actually be able to read Korean books in Hangul and not the English translation. that’s your goal, isn’t it? and writing poetry in Korean too. 

your high school friend answered the question no doctor was. when you drink alcohol, make sure there is a 3-hour gap between that and your medication. but also keep the drinking in check. I mean honestly, iced coffee and fresh fruit juices for the win. 

you go through people like you go through books. but people are not books. time to pick up actual books again and press pause on people. 

do not commit anything to anybody because you have no sense of stability or certainty in your life right now. that doesn’t make you flighty. that doesn’t make you irresponsible. in fact, it makes you responsible because you aren’t making promises you aren’t sure you are capable of keeping even if you want to keep them. actions > intentions. 

time to have a skincare routine. your sister has written you a whole blog on it - just follow that. 

also oh my god. being twenty five/twenty six does not make you old. you don’t have to look at the younger people you interact with and feel uncool or outdated because then that’s how you’ll always feel. like when you were younger, you would look at the older people and think they are so cool, graceful, smart, and badass. divine, even. then that’s what you are becoming now. not knowing what certain emojis and slang means really has no bearing on how relevant you are. 

this isn’t an exhaustive list, so come back. don’t just write this and forget all about it. come back, review, revise, add. but most importantly, remember. remember this is for you. so that you minimise pain and failure and shitty feelings and maximise peace and success and joy. and you do like optimum utilisation of resources, don’t you? so do that. apply yourself for yourself. that’s where the returns are the highest. 

[feehippielove]

[sawbloopers2004]

i have to survive the next 72 days and it's going to be very hard but i have survived the last 9 years

[sulealone]

23 things to be wary of:

1. perfection

2. smiles

3. role models

4. absolutes

5. gossip

6. mortality

7. sugar

8. power structures

9. patterns

10. excess

11. stigmas

12. what-ifs

13. beauty

14. normality

15. adulation

16. hype

17. impressions

18. titles

19. safety

20. purpose

21. advice

22. correctness

23. guilt

[amarantoo]

And so do you… Thoughts of Dog

[theoldaeroplane]

worried that thing you put in your art or writing or game or music is too self-indulgent, too self-referential, too niche for anyone but yourself? fear not! you can do whatever you want forever. and you should.

[fabulous-student]

My dreams 🌈🌤️

Hi, again! It's me, Likha.

So, it's now 1 am in the morning, and I feel like I want to share this thought with my future self. I have a dream.

What dream? You may ask.

I've been projecting myself to achieve some things that in the past I'm too afraid to say out loud. So I hope this could be my opportunity to say out loud what I really want in this life.

First, I want to be a psychologist.

In order to be a psychologist of course I should've graduated first, yet I am still in senior years because of my mental health. But it's okay, mental health is the most important thing for long-term goals, right?

So, yeah, mental health first but I still have to graduate to continue my journey.

Second, I want to build a library with a study room and cafe.

Why, you asked? It's because there is no proper library with a study room and a cafe in Indonesia. Even if there is, it's not looking aesthetic and comfortable for day-to-day study. It's just my dream to have my own library that really suit my test and I hope other people can enjoy it too! 😊

Third, I want to be a bookstagrammer!

It's clearly because I love books! I really love books so much! I've been going to the library regularly since elementary school because I want to read all of the books there! Even the librarian remembers me! I'm probably the one person that you could always find at the library, hehee. Even in college, I've been rewarded for the Most book borrowers in 2019 by the Library Directorate.

Fourth, I want to be an editor! (and Illustrator hehe)

Well, I know it's really hard to be an editor but It's still a thing that I want to be. I feel like it's too good of a thing to be missed out hehe. I really want to be an editor and probably an illustrator too! Because I love drawing as a child. I don't want to miss any opportunity anymore! I want to live!

So, that's all I wanna do, I probably want to be an HR too, but a psychologist is my biggest dream, so maybe I'll work on both? Let's see in the future!~~

[stupididiotfreak-blog]

But you'd find my dog annoying, because he barks at cats and barks at people when he's laying on their legs and they move.

But you'd find my cat annoying, because he is obsessed with digging into mirrors and glass and it is loud and chaotic.

But you'd find my neighborhood annoying, because it isn't peaceful and the drive would be a lot for you and you hate driving.

But you'd find me annoying, because I'd want to go out and meet people and see friends and be social even if it's for art and poetry.

[theereina]

[iamanartichoke]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but as a creator -

I am fine with "the audience" -

downloading my fics

printing my fics

copy/pasting or screenshotting my fics

sharing your saved copy of my fics with anyone else who might want them in the unlikely but never impossible case that my fics are no longer available on ao3

making a book of my fic(s) and running your fingers across the pages while lovingly whispering my precioussss

doing these things with anything I create for fandom, such as meta, headcanons, au nonsense like 'texts from the brodinsons,' etc

I am not fine with "the audience"

doing any of the above with the purpose/intent of plagiarizing my work or passing it off as their own in any capacity

feeding my work into ai for any reason whatsoever

Save the fandom things. Preserve the fandom things. Respect the fandom things.

Enjoy the fandom things.

[feehippielove]

...brilliance begets madness if left with no construction.

[mxwhore]

i love you lab grown diamonds i love you slavery-free chocolate i love you community gardens i love you fact that the insulin patent was sold for $1 i love you locally produced meat and milk i love you streets turned into walkable parks i love you little reminders that Things Do Not Have To Be This Way and there are people working to build a better world!!

[calware]

[the-jesus-pill]

You’ve got to forgive yourself for being traumatized and needing to learn how to function again. 

Recovery isn’t always nightmares and depression, it’s forgetting to eat, being scared of what others might see as completely normal things, it’s getting random panic attacks, not knowing how to take care of yourself, not knowing how to live like an adult, even if you’re twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, of feeling like you’re failing to function in a world where everyone seems to have their shit together. 

If you need help, ask for it. Go to forums and ask for advice. Take advantage of community resources. Buy pre-sliced veggies and fruits, eat instant meals if you can’t cook for yourself today. Hire someone. Ask a neighbor for a favor. Buy any item you think might make life easier, even if you feel like you aren’t ‘disabled’ enough to have it. 

Some of the depression posts (ie open your windows, take a shower, go outside, call a friend) are really helpful but they’re not always enough. I’ve found advice for spoonies, people with chronic pain or other disabilities have the best tips because they know what it’s like to be bedridden, out of energy, stuck in a brain fog. 

You may never return back to the energy you had when you were younger and you might always need to use crutches to help you through life. It’s the same with medication. 

Trauma is a real thing that happens to you, it physically alters your brain and it’s alright to have lasting scars. 

You’re not broken, your life is not over and you can still be happy. 

It’s not your fault.

[hertheinfluence]

Do you know how powerful you are babygirl? When pigs cast stones yet you never flinch. You are solid gold, don't you ever fold; because you my dear are the commodity.