#what brother?

[kharmii]

Volo: I'm sorry about that whole deal with accidentally bringing your brother to Hisui. Arceus was supposed to come through that rift, not some train clown and little kid! Anyway, I want to make it up to you. What would it take? *lifts finger* I know! How many blowjobs would I have to give before you stop being mad? *flips hair*

Emmet: There's no amount of......wait a minute! What did I almost just say? I meant to say that you owe me a blowjob for every day my brother was tragically taken from me.

Volo: *shakes finger* Oh you!! I'll try my best. *cheesy smile*

(Busted this out because July is Emmet fanart month on here, and I want my guy to be happy)

[greelin]

blood “loss”? well it’s not lost. i know exactly where it went. right over there.

[idoodlestuffsometimes]

I need to share how the IT guy at work greeted my department on CrowdStrike Blue Screen Friday. Never have I seen a man so shocked by the sight of perfectly functional computers

(They were off during the update)

[noelledeltarune]

EVERY SINGLE DAY there are MILLIONS of characters in their late 20s who get falsely accused of being father figures to teenagers when in reality the description of "weird older cousin" or "step-sibling that moved out before you were born" is 1000000x more apt

[marypsue]

Keep seeing that post where OP starts like 'Thinking about...grieving the undead' and then adds on about like. Real life situations where people have not died but have left your life and you would have reason to grieve them.

All respect, that's an important concept, but that is not what I am thinking about when I read 'grieving the undead'.

[soaked-doors]

it’s that time of year again

[z-mizcellaneous-z]

Fucking CRYING IM USING THAT PHRASE FOR EVERYTHING NOW

[musubiki]

my favorite fields of mistria boys 🥰

[noodles-and-tea]

The way you draw baby Ford for twins in time au is so damn cute I want to hug him </3 he would definitely start infodumping to Stanley the second he realized he wouldn’t get mad at him for it. he’s still a child so full of wonder and awe and excitement for the world around him, and maybe the longer older Stan spends with him the more he starts to see it again too

YES DEFINITELY ABSOLUTELY!!!!

[kharmii]

“I’m angry that people are kink shaming me,” says the kink shamer, proceeding to then kink shame.

Have whatever kinks you want, but I hope next time someone has a reason they don’t want you to steal - oh, sorry, ‘repost’ - their artwork (or a friend’s) and reaches out to you very kindly to ask you to take it down, you’re a decent human being and treat them with respect, instead of having a pity party tantrum about incest and sharing it publicly. Perhaps, in future, you should ask people if you’re able to share their work, since doing so would’ve undoubtedly avoided this entire embarrassing situation.

It’s the least you could do after using their art for your own clout. The bar is so low… and yet…

This whole line of trolling came up because I saw one of the most vile furry fetishists on the trainwreck tag tell someone they weren't a proshipper. Again, what percentage of gross ass shitting dick nipple monster fuckers has that mentality?

Anyway, I've been over this so many times it's like I'm talking in circles, so now I'm going to pitch my new fan fic idea based on this tweet where Emmet happens upon Volo wearing Ingo's jacket.

-So the premise is that it has been four long lonely years since Ingo disappeared without a trace. Emmet is walking down the street in Nimbassa City one day when he sees Ingo just ahead of him. Excited, he runs up and spins him around, only to find out he's an attractive blonde wearing Ingo's jacket.

Volo: I've finally found you! *flips hair* I promised your brother Ingo on his death bed that I'd find you and give you a rough blow job.............and also tell you the story about how I accidentally had him isekai'd 200 years into the past when I was working in collusion with the Dark Lord of Chaos Giratina.

Emmet: *zzzzziiiipppp.....* Fill me in on the rest later.

[miss-americanbi]

was chatting with my brother about gravity falls (again) and i said something like “man, can you believe stan waited and worked for 30 years just for the chance to try and bring his brother back?” to which my brother responded, “yeah, it’s nuts when you think about it. i wonder if stan got trapped in the multiverse instead, if ford would do the same.” HELLO???

[autogynecologist]

Thurston's Orange Peel Theory

[sabertoothwalrus]

based on a real conversation I had with my brother just now. which means you can do the dragon tier list

[starry-bi-sky]

I am loudly pushing the batdad agenda i am loudly pushing the— DPxDC Prompt

“Woah. You look like shit."

Granted, that’s probably not the first thing Danny should be saying to the guy that just bit the curb, but in his defense; he’s not running on 100% right now either.

The man -- tall, towering, and broader than Danny is tall -- whips around on his heel, black frayed cape flaring out impressively. Danny would've whistled in appreciation, but he takes the time instead to wipe the back of his hand across his mouth, smearing the blood running from his nose across his cheek.

"Sorry." He blinks widely, not even flinching as the man with the horns zeroes in on him. "That was rude of me. I have a really bad brain-to-mouth filter; Sam says its what always gets me into trouble."

And she's not wrong either, per say. His smart mouth is what landed him in this situation -- with blood blossom extract running through his veins and cannibalizing the ectoplasm in his bloodstream. Thanks Vlad.

The man grunts at him; a short, curt "hm" that shouldn't make Danny smile, but he does because he's somewhat delirious and probably concussed. The man keeps some kind of distance, sinking towards the shadows of Gotham's alleyway like he dares to melt right into it.

If it's supposed to scare Danny, it doesn't work. Danny's never been afraid of the dark; he's always been able to hide himself in it. He blinks slowly at the mass of shadows.

"You look hurt." The shadows says, blurring together around the edges. Danny squints, and licks his lips to get the blood dripping down his chin off. Ugh, he hates the taste of blood.

"I am." He says, "My godfather poisoned me. M'dying." The agony of the blood blossom eating him from the inside out looped back around to numbing a while ago, so all he feels is half-awake and dazed.

"Hey," Danny stumbles forward towards the man, a bloodied hand reaching out to him. "You-- you're a hero, right? You're not attacking me; which is more than I can say for most costumed people I've met." Maybe it's a poor bar to judge someone at, but he's already established that Danny's not in his right mind.

The man makes no change in expression, but Danny realizes blearily that it's hard to tell with the shadows on his face. He stays still long enough for Danny to latch onto the cape -- stretchy, but almost soft under his fingers.

He looks up blearily into the whites of the man's eyes. "Can you help me? I don't-- I don't wanna die." Again. He doesn't wanna die again. He blinks slow and lizard-like. "I mean- I'll probably get to see mom and dad again, but I told them I'd at least try and make it to adulthood."

There's a clatter down the street, and Danny's ghost sense chills up his spine and leaves a bitter, ashy taste in his mouth. He immediately knows who it belongs to even before the deceptively gentle; "Daniel?" echoes down the way.

"Daniel? Quit your games, badger, Gotham is dangerous for children."

Danny's mouth pulls back, and blood spills against his tongue. "Please." He rasps, and grabs onto the shadow's cape with both hands. "Please. He's going to kill me. Please--"

"Daniel? Is that you?"

His lips part, dragging in air to plead with the darkness again. He doesn't need to, the whites of his eyes narrow, and the cape whirls around him before Danny can blink. Soon swaddled in shadows, the Night lifts him up, and steals him away.

[farshootergotme]

Occasionally I picture Nightwing calling Red Hood "little wing" in front of others and people looking between this huge, 6'0 feet tall man with growing white hair, and then Nightwing, a shorter man who has flawless skin, probably around his 20's, and a fit but not too buff build and they just- don't know what's happening. Is it some kind of inside joke they aren't aware of? Why is Nightwing acting as if he's years older than Red-fucking jacked-Hood?

Nightwing: Little wing, you actually were decent in that fight! I'm impressed.

Hero, who was helping during this fight as well, listening in to the conversation: little...?

Red Hood: Wow, feeling very appreciated right now. Got any other backhanded compliments in there?

Hero: Wait, excuse me-

Nightwing: As a matter of fact-

Red Hood: Nope! I'm outta here. Screw you!

Nightwing: You know you love me!

Red Hood: In your dreams, dickhead!

Nightwing: Hey! We don't use that-

Red Hood: Not listening!

Nightwing: Jeez, kids these days...

Red Hood: I'm an adult and fuck you too!

Nightwing: What? Thought you weren't-

Red Hood: See you never, I'm out.

Hero: ...

Hero: what the actual fuck?

[dieubius]

uhhh. bruce wayne modelling gig. have a good day 🥰