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apollos-olives · 28 days

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before october 7th this blog was a meme page btw.

#don't you think it's so odd how so many palestinians on tumblr were just minding their own business and having fun #and all of a sudden the genocide started and we started dedicating all our time #to helping and start educating people #only for people to start questioning us and harassing us in the most parasocial ways #and now about half of us are deciding not to share about our personal lives or our interests anymore #because we can't be granted the opportunity to actually have personalities outside of our suffering.#a look into our personal lives is a privilege and all of you abused it #all of this is due to the fact that none of you consider us as actual human beings #even if you're “allies” to the palestinian cause. you still dehumanize us to hell and back #i wish you all could see me as someone who is just like you.

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beeturtlle · 2 months

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Maizula nation please where r u

#maizula #azula #mai atla #they r so.#i think we as a fandom ignore how obsessed azula actually is with mai and all the boiling rock situation #my god when she find out abt mai's new boyfrriend and she just WHOS THIS IMBECILE.#IJUST HTINK THEY R PPERFECT TOXIC YURI AND YOU ALL SLEEP ON IT #Mai its like #imagine the worst person you ever meet it's now crying like a child demanding you answers #what do you even say in here

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akanemnon · 3 months

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So many questions... so little answers

FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT

MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)

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giantkillerjack · 1 year

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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unpretty · 5 months

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earlier today andrew was like, "hey, check this out" and turned their phone around to show me an image of a pair of dreamworks eyebrow sunglasses before swiping to show me another image of the sunglasses and bask in my horror

but the pictures were on tumblr and they accidentally swiped the wrong direction in the image viewer

so from my perspective what happened was that andrew was like, "hey, check this out" and turned their phone around to show me an image of a pair of dreamworks eyebrow sunglasses before swiping dramatically to reveal an unrelated image of stuart little, watching me expectantly for a reaction that never came

#original #it was not until they turned their phone around with a #WHAT THE FUCK HOW DID YOU GET HERE #that we realized what happened #and it became the funniest shit ever to me and me only #even now writing this i made myself laugh again #and then my partner who is in bed with me yelled #STOP THINKING ABOUT STUART LITTLE. IT'S NOT RELEVANT.#and that made me laugh harder

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cruelsister-moved2 · 2 years

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for real! (from kadji amin)

[Image description: Screenshot of text:

What I've realized is that I believe that the matter of gender is practical and relational. It's not about who you are inside, it's more about how you would feel most comfortable in the world. It's not 'Who are you?' but 'How do you want to live?'

Had that been the discourse when I was coming up, I would have breathed a sigh of relief. I don't have to figure out who I am on the inside, I just have to figure out how I want to live.

end of ID]

#and I kind of felt really sad when they were talking about how like they feel in some ways figuring yourself out is way harder now #bc there is this pressure to like figure out who u Really Are Inside #and instead of being like well maybe my identity goes far beyond gender and like i don't need to find some microlabel #in order to like define who is Me #it's become very fixated on like categorising ur gender rejection in a way that ends up just. making even more genders to constrain u #it's hard to summarise it was like v wordy but I thought this part was so true #for sexuality as well not to tack it on but we have really gotten into the same mindset w sexuality now as well #THANK U @VAKAVANHASAATANA for the ID it wont let me @ you in the text </33

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kittykalliarts · 7 months

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For decades, the blank vision that Iudex Neuvillette wears near his heart has been subject to much discussion in Fontaine. Nobody remembers who it had once belonged to or why the ancient dragon protected it so jealously. It is said that if the Chief Justice would to stare at it for a long while, it would be sure to rain right after. Oh, how beloved that person must've been.

#genshin impact #genshin fanart #neuvillette #visions #wriolette #wriollette #neuvithesley #myart #sorry for the short drabble?#kasndkansd i have emotions over a simple thought i had #the tragedy for someone eternal to fall for someone who's here for only a brief moment eats away at me hhhh #it started with a funny thought of IF neuvillette needs to carry a fake vision for some reason after laughing at the archons for it #and then i remembered how people like kazuha would hold onto their loved one's masterless vision after they died #one thing led to another and now we have some wriolette angst with neuvillette cherishing wrio's masterless vision #after his inevitable passing #and idk if its just the traveller or if its even canon #but i like to think that neuv being a sovereign he would be able to hear the ambition of one's vision and maybe just maybe #he can use wrio's masterless vision to listen to his voice albeit ever so softly

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aeide-thea · 2 years

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on principle opposed to describing art i dislike as 'masturbatory' because even though it's an alluringly contemptuous word to sneer it's impossible to reconcile with my pro-masturbation stance

#it's such an ugly word but like. self-pleasure is good‚ actually #it's good to know yourself and what you like and lovingly treat yourself to it!#like similarly 'meretricious' is extremely tempting if you ignore the underlying metaphor #but. hard to.#language #and quite frankly i think people who whip out 'masturbatory' in this sneering sort of way #are leveraging‚ if we're honest with ourselves‚ a particular framing of it as a gross thing that boys do #because like. when have you ever heard a *woman's* self-indulgent art described as masturbatory #like don't get me wrong we absolutely still dismiss it! but we dismiss it in other ways #that are usually about how embarrassing her *yearning* is #and so even our sneering is reinforcing an idea that men Act whereas women Feel #anyway this was prompted by some things but i shoved it in the queue so now i forget what lol #so here you are getting some contextless thoughts on the use of 'masturbatory' as sneering dismissive assessment!#just what you were hoping for i'm sure :)

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prismatoxic · 3 months

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"chilchuck isn't a twink, he's a DILF!" now i get why you're saying that but i feel like you've maybe forgotten what chilchuck tims canonically looks like

i'm sorry but this man is a twink. also DILF isn't a body type it's a status (and technically, an opinion) so he can be both

"but he's middle-aged!" look at him. look with your eyeballs. his age has nothing to do with the fact that he Looks Like That. he's a twink. the sooner you accept this the less angry his fandom will make you

edit bc this post has become the bane of my existence:

FAQ

Q: wtf do you mean he's a dad? he looks like a kid. A: he is 29 years old, and a half-foot. half-foots are dungeon meshi's halflings, or hobbits, or whatever you want to call them.

Q: wait, if he's 29, why the fuck are you calling him middle-aged? A: half-foots have an average lifespan of 50 years. chilchuck was originally drawn with grey hairs (you can see that in the manga fullbody) but the mangaka gave up on that over time. he's middle-aged for his race.

Q: hey, doesn't that look like a little angry face on his boot in the manga drawing? A: yea kinda

#as a proud member of the chilfucker fandom i think we should all accept his canon appearance even if we draw him way different #if you can only love him if he looks like a hobbit do you really love him at all?#by all means draw and think of him however sparks joy for you. but this is who he is in the manga and anime and you need to accept that #i love all chilchucks but i just love him in general. ideal man #chilchuck tims #tox.txt #edits made because the tags on this post are my villain origin story #i have now muted notifs!

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twinstxrs · 3 months

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so much happened in this whole episode but i’m still on fig infiltrating ruben’s dream, making it look like the place where his friend was murdered, and then disguising herself as kipperlilly & repeatedly saying different variants of “somebody needs to take the fall for this, and it’s not going to be me. it’s going to be you.” while adaine as the elven oracle shows up next to her. can you imagine waking up from that, the idea of a horrible truth being pinned on you by your friend to save her own skin while the personification of fate and destiny stands there, almost as a promise that this is GOING to happen to you. we don’t even know if this kid is guilty. my god.