#would appreciate a few.. mental health been bad :'3

[tiyoin]

pt .3 | 📍pt. 4 | pt. 5

this chapter is disorganized cause i refuse to proofread

there was a festering rot in your heart….

you couldn’t explain it.

you were jealous, you were angry, you were frustrated. most importantly; you were tired.

the days mushed together the more you rotted in bed. your stomach seemed to shrink the less you ate, your eyes began to sag the less you slept.

grim has been a doll, really. always trying to drag you on adventures, always tugging you to go to the monstro with him, or just staying back with you to lay in bed.

the company was much appreciated.

yuu tried to help, they really did… but with being so popular there was only so much screen time the protagonist could give you.

there was some resentment.

and there were the reasoning you told yourself;

why didn’t they invite you out with them?

your social life isn’t their responsibility. they have a life outside of you.

how come they didn’t introduce you to their friends? the only ones you knew were adeuce

they’re allowed to have other friends too, sevens why are you so clingy??

why is it okay for them to do spontaneous plans, yet when you do it it’s a bad time?

they’re a busy bee, just like you’re supposed to be… so they have to work twice as hard when your mental health plummeted.

and yet they do it with a hearty smile a word of understanding. cheering you up momentarily with their kind yet blunt words. telling you to take all the time you mean and that they don’t mind any of the work. truly.

maybe it was guilt that stopping you from asking yuu to introduce you to their friends. i mean, they already do so much and yet here you are. a leech.

sucking off their social life, work life, and home life. maybe you weren’t made to have any friends? maybe you didn’t even deserve to be yuu’s friend.

the muffled sounds of the classroom slowly turned to whispers the more you walked along your brains pathways. the more you discovered more negative things about yourself.

why were you here? there could’ve been anyone else here and yet it was you. if there was someone else here they would be more social, everyone would be having a more fun time, and maybe they could be of use to yuu.

maybe they could’ve played more of a role in the overblots than you, after all you just planned it. the group deciding before hand to not let you in on any of the ‘dangerous missions’ that could get you seriously hurt.

yet that’s how they made friends with each other. if you could make friends that way, you would put the blot in people’s stones yourself.

you sighed, head shaking in silent disagreement.

you looked up at the board a few rows in front of you. it was history class, a class you rather enjoyed. albeit the times and dates weren’t my your favorites. but just hearing about all the events in the past, all the tragic wars, the culture, how people lived in the olden days with magic.

you could only daydream about being some kind of royalty and having lovers fight over your hand with a magical duel.

your imagination slowly started to slip into the chosen daydream.

“y/n!” trein’s face appears- alarm bells sounded through your head as you teared your eyes away from your textbook and resting them on the angry, old man.

“because you love the textbook so much, how about you tell us why kind na’jeri decided to stop the caravans from passing through oasis city for several hundred years after the war of ‘the watering hole’”

trein usual scowling face held a hint of amusement, eyebrow quirked up as the top of his lip started curling.

crap. fuck. you knew this. you knew this. after reading about the handsome king na’jeri you know exactly why he did that.

and yet… the question was wrong, the information was wrong. king na’jeri didn’t not just ban caravans from entering the city, he completely locked the city up. no one could get in or out for several hundred years all because of his paranoia.

yet you froze.

eyes staring back at him in horror as you felt your body heat up. you could physically feel the heat slowly travel along your neck and to your face. where you swore you were turning red with how much you were blushing.

you mouth gaped open a slightly closed, like a fish out of water as your eyes flickered between him and the board. between the board and your textbook.

“ you know this y/n.”

no the fuck you didn’t.

if you did then you wouldn’t be floundering like a fish to get an answer.

and it’s just your luck that the first day you came back to school you would get ambushed by trein. you have gym next and you were surely positive the ghost of vargas was haunting you through the classroom’s window.

YOU KNOW THIS

yet with each passing second more pens stopped and more eyes wandered to you. watching you.

you tightened your fist, suddenly feeling like a monkey in a zoo as all the humans picked and poked at you. laughed and sneered at you.

“u- uhh- uh, king na’jeri.. he ih, decided to close off the city to the car-caravans-“ you cleared your throat a phlegm and took a shallow, yet deep breathe.

deep enough for you to calm your nerves, shallow enough to not make your breathe look obvious.

“he decided to cut off all paths to the kingdom instead of just the kingdom itself. the king was ex-extremely paranoid that the devastation from the war, and another war would happen again if they let outsiders in.” you paused, quick to have your mind catch up.

trein just gave you a nod as the mischief left his face, he opened his mouth to keep going but you weren’t done.

“so-“

“go-

there was an awkward lash of sentence starters.

the boys sitting on either side of you tensed. it was never a good idea to cut off trein. ever. it was never a good idea to talk when he was teaching, let alone talking as that gave you a one way ticket to detention.

you apologized sheepishly, eyes breaking from his as you went to back to mindlessly scanning your textbook. trying to appear busy as you waited for you punishment.

“if you have something to add, then go ahead” looking up, trein gave you a nod as

“s-soo he didn’t just ban caravans from entering the city. in a book i read, they said that he prevented everyone from entering and leaving the city for several hundred years because the paranoia ate at his blood line. there were so many casualties that roughly around 40% of the population was wiped out so to prevent that, the king and the royal family decided to take radical measures..”

“beautifully put y/n.” he smiled, nodding in approval as a spark ignited through your chest, you fought back a giddy smile. you felt so energized. you content...

your smile faltered.

you can’t remember the last time you were so happy.

grabbing your pen, you went to your notepad and started taking notes. started doodling. started doing whatever to distract yourself from the feeling.

“y/n, stay after class for me?” you paused, the grip you had on your thick textbook loosened. curling your fingers against the perked spine, you managed to save it before it crashed down onto your seat.

“ye- yea..” looking back, you shared a look with yuu as adeuce around them started chatting.

waving off the trio, you said you were fine and that they didn’t have to wait. you’d hate for them to miss lunch.

they started walking off the podium, as ace, yuu, and grim all bantering about something you didn’t bother to tune in for.

you weren’t involved in the conversation after all.

“hey y/n” you looked back up, no, down as you saw deuce in front of you. he had an uneasy look on his face as his arms were tightly holding his books against his chest. a little blush adorning his cheeks as he looked up.

“you’re more than welcome to come with us to the cafeteria, you know that right?”

puzzled at where this was coming from, your eyes watched the backs of the redhead and the ravenette as they laughed merrily through the doorway.

you looked back at a now determined deuce, “it get that it’s hard to adjust to a nice environment, believe i know” his smile faltered.

the eyes were the window to the soul as you saw nothing but compassion, understanding in the murky depths of his blue eyes.

the heat came back as you looked to trein. he was sat down at his desk writing. yet this pen seemed to hover too long in the air to be considered ‘writing.’

“i- uh, yeah!” you blurted out, nodding as that was the only thing you could trust yourself doing.

quickly packing up your stuff, you sped down the isle and down the steps and down to deuce.

you should’ve stayed up there, was the first thought you had once you were in front of the fellow freshman.

fixing your hair, you looked back to trein, whose pen was writing a mile a minute, showing no previous signs of stopping.

“ye- yeah! uh, i’ll definitely remember that!” you took another deep breath, finding the courage to once again look him in the eye.

it made everything too… real for you. your body surged uncomfortably as you once again thanked him. “i appreciate it deuce, truly”

the smile on your face felt so natural, so… real that you couldn’t help but look up at the crimson boy.

you could almost chuckle at how the color of his hair contrasted with the red paint on his face. it looks like they missed a rose.

“uh- ye- yeah! no problem! i’m gonna go now” and with that, he ran off.

not before tripping over himself, a loud screech from his sneakers echoing the lecture hall. he looked back bashful, before he sprinted out.

“i’ve never seen a boy in this class get so flustered. and me calling on them unprepared doesn’t count” you brought your attention back to trein.

and yet a horrifying thought bubbled in your head.

you didn’t pass the bechdel test.

i got lazy. plus i have class el oh el

tag list: @xingyunny

[buckyseddie]

mine

pairings — rafe cameron x fem!reader

summary — in which, when rafe attempts to start over, he finds a mysterious girl who leaves him more and more curious about her after they meet. based on the song mine by taylor swift!

word count — 6.6k.

warnings — rafe left home and is more mentally stable and trying to be better, angst, fluff, reader has a bad past and family issues, use of pet-names [princess, baby, angel, sweetheart], hugs from the back, neck kisses, picnic dates, slight hints and mentions of fireworks and fourth of july, forehead kisses, forehead touches, kisses, rafe refers to reader as his girl a few times, reader calls rafe by his last name a few times, mentions of bills, arguments and fights, slight mentions of both of them getting mean in the fight, rain conversations, reader's big abandonment and trust issues are heavily mentioned, the reader and rafe get an unexpected and harsh visit from her parents, big mentions and hints of mental health, mentions and hints of rafe's dad's abuse in the past, reader has an episode and she has one with a panic episode with it, big mentions of reader and rafe visiting the obx and him being on good terms with sarah and the pogues because i wanted peace in this, mentions of rafe going back to college and working at a cafe.

notes — i've been wanting to do this one for a while, so here it is! gif and divider creds to owner!

p.s., feedback is very much encouraged and appreciated <3.

main masterlist

EVERYONE WANTS A FRESH START.

in this case, this means two polar opposites from completely different worlds.

all rafe wanted to do, was leave his life and past in outer banks behind — as far as he was concerned, the old rafe was gone.

after taking consequences for his actions and getting some much needed help, rafe moved out of his dad’s house and went back to college.

"ah-ah, ah-ah. ah-ah, ah-ah."

then, he got his life together and was ready enough for a job.

“you were in college, working part-time, waiting tables. left a small town, never looked back. i was a flight risk with a fear of fallin’, wondering why we bother with love, if it never lasts.”

as great as it was that rafe was finally settled in the old town of charleston, things were about to change.

he was working, and one day, a girl — a very mysterious one, might i add — decided to stop at the cafe for some peace and quiet. 

it wasn’t the first time a girl — or girls, if i’m being completely honest — stopped there.

in fact, loads of girls stopped there daily, most usually only stopping by to fawn over rafe.

but, he didn’t pay any mind to the attention — he was used to getting attention from girls from his experience as a kook back in outer banks.

and honestly? none of the girls that he’d seen stop at the cafe ever intrigued him or left him speechless.

well, at least until he met her.

there was something different about [y/n] — she had a certain distant emptiness to her.

she was reserved and quiet and shy, almost always making sure to do everything right, in fear of everything crashing down on her.

as she walks over to a table and sits down and opens up a book from her bag, rafe glances up and it’s as if time stops when their eyes make contact, despite how cheesy and corny that sounds.

he couldn’t believe his eyes — she was beautiful, of course.

but, she had that kind of side of her that he could tell she didn’t think it herself.

an easy-going smile is thrown her way as he makes his way over to her table, trying to ignore the shocking nerves coming from him.

“hi. would you like something to drink?” he asks in a surprisingly calm tone as he pulls out his notepad and pen, awaiting her answer.

looking up anxiously, she gulps, trying not to let the intimidation of the gorgeous man in front of her get to her.

“could i just get some water?” she murmurs so softly that rafe almost doesn’t even hear her.

he nods, watching her curiously. “sure. will that be all for your order?” he questions, raising a brow at her.

as she notices the way he’s watching her, like he’s seeing right through her ‘i’m fine’ facade and her soul, she nods shakily as a shiver rushes through her spine.

“y—yes. thank you.” she mumbles as he nods and says something about her water being out as soon as possible and puts away his pen and notepad.

but, as he walks back to get her water, he turns around and looks at her once more, this time noticing the scared look in her eyes — it's obvious that there’s more to her than she's revealing.

“i say, ‘can you believe it?’ as we’re lyin’ on the couch. the moment, i could see it. yes, yes, i can see it now.”

with a content sigh, [y/n] moves into rafe’s welcoming arms.

as she lays her head on his chest, his chin resting on top of her head, he wraps his arms around her and a sense of calmness — something neither of them have ever felt in their entire lives — fills their hearts.

it was just them, lying on his couch in the living room of his apartment, relaxing.

it’d been a few weeks, after he’d gotten her number and asked her out on a date — they’d been on countless dates, even though she was a little hesitant to get involved with him because of her past.

and now, they're almost completely comfortable around each other.

although, both rafe and [y/n] still have doubts and hesitance on whether this new and recent relationship will work, or even whether they can let their guards down around and let each other in.

but as they hold each other for a moment longer, a startling thought pops into [y/n]’s head and it causes a shaky breath to leave her lips.

noticing the change in her, rafe moves his chin away from her head and angles his head in a way that helps him see her face completely. he also notices her tearful gaze.

“hey… what’s wrong?” he questions, brushing her hair out of her face.

another sigh later, and she’s shaking her head and waving him off. “i—i’m fine. don’t worry about me.” her voice breaks and trembles, causing him to lift her chin up, in order for her to look at him in the face.

he gives her a pointed look, hoping it’ll coax her into telling him what’s wrong.

with another sigh, she finally voices her thoughts, “i just realized that i’m still scared that you’ll find something wrong with me — that you don’t like — and will either hurt me or leave me… ” she trails off, some of the tears actually escaping her hurt eyes.

realization hits him as his eyes soften. “i’m not going to leave or hurt you, okay? let’s just see how this goes.” he murmurs seriously, rubbing a comforting hand over her arms to soothe the upset mood she's in.

sighing once more, she nods, before snuggling further into his embrace, eyes closing.

“do you remember, we were sitting there by the water? you put your arm around me for the first time. you made a rebel of a careless man’s careful daughter. you are the best thing, that’s ever been mine.”

loud giggles leave her lips as he playfully chases her into the water.

“rafe! n—no! don’t you dare think about doing what i think you’re about to do!” [y/n] exclaims, noticing the mischievous glint in his eyes as she holds a hand up in the air.

he smirks in amusement.

then, he runs toward her — despite, her moving back every time he gets closer — and grabs her, lifting her up and running further into the water, before throwing her into the deeper part of the water.

she goes under for a moment, before eventually coming back up.

“r—rafe!” she exclaims, coughing a bit, since some water went into her nose and mouth when she went under.

she glares at him, shivering and trying to remain upset with him.

but then, he breaks into that smile — you know which one, the one that would make any girl’s heart swell — and her pissed-off resolve starts to fade away.

then, he laughs.

“you’re so cute when you try to act mad.” he murmurs, moving closer to her as she moves to stand up, still shivering.

she groans, a smile trying to desperately make its way onto her face.

“rafeeee! you can’t say stuff like that… ” she mumbles, full-on blushing now.

he chuckles at her reaction, before moving his hands up her arms in a repetitive motion, in order to warm her up better.

then, he moves his arm to put around her shoulder and starts walking closer to the shore with her.

as they finally sit back down on the towel, that’s near the water,          [y/n] snuggles further into rafe’s chest, a content sigh leaving her lips as she begins to feel at peace.

“thank you.”

“for what?” rafe looks down at her, eyebrows furrowing as he becomes confused on what she’s thanking him for.

[y/n] hesitates for a second. “for showing me how to live life without me feeling like i don’t deserve it.” she murmurs quietly, her voice coming out small.

after hearing her statement, realization hits rafe of what she means — she's talking about her old home life, before she moved away from her family.

her father was a workaholic and not the best person in the world, always snapping at her and her mother.

not only that, but her family was always, always fighting.

and she was always the blame when it came to her family defending their actions — she never got to live the life she deserved.

but now, she can. with rafe.

“of course. you deserve to live your life to the fullest and to always be happy, okay?” he murmurs softly before placing a gentle kiss to her forehead.

“flash forward and we’re taking on the world together. and there’s a drawer of my things at your place. you learn my secrets and you figure out why i’m guarded. you say you’ll never make my parents’ mistakes.”

rafe watches in concern as [y/n] struggles to get off of the phone with her family — a family she honestly wants nothing to do with.

with a heavy sigh, she finally hangs up, before making her way over to the kitchen’s table.

“god… ” she mutters, wiping away the fresh tears away from her cheeks.

“angel, what’s going on?” rafe murmurs, moving to sit beside her, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

[y/n] sighs, refusing to look him in the eye — she knows that the second she looks at him, the truth will come tumbling out.

though, rafe doesn’t take offense to this and simply waits for when she’s ready to talk.

and when she does finally look over at him, the tears fall and the stuttering and trembling statements of the truth come out.

rafe’s eyes soften as he calmly and patiently listens to her.

“princess, i hope you know that i would never hurt you like your parents. and i’ll never hurt you the way your dad hurt your mom.” he murmurs seriously, moving his hand to cup one of her cheeks.

“you p—promise?” she trembles, more tears falling.

he nods. “always.”

then, he pulls her in for a hug, allowing her to let everything out.

“but we got bills to pay. we got nothing figured out, when it was hard to take. yes, yes, this is what i thought about.”

she lets out a light giggle when she feels those familiar arms wrapping around her waist as she continues to try to think straight on the numbers she's trying to put together.

"what're you doing?" he murmurs, kissing her neck, before glancing down at the paper that she's holding over the table.

a quick sigh in defeat leaves her lips when he pulls away from her and takes the paper from her and folds it, before putting it in his back pocket.

"you don't need to worry about that right now." he says seriously as she turns around to face him with a stern expression.

he rolls his eyes at her determination and stubbornness. "don't give me that look, sweetheart."

she opens her mouth to defend herself, but he interrupts her, "you don't have to worry about that."

she raises her hands up in the air in clear frustration. "but, i live here! i can't just live here — with you — and not pay for it!"

rafe rolls his eyes — again — at her, becoming frustrated himself. "princess, you don't have to pay for that."

she groans, clenching her eyes shut for a moment, before opening up her eyes and marching over to him.

"yes," she says, tapping his chest with her pointer finger, before continuing on, "i do. i've been living with you for a long while!"

"and," she says, motioning to the living room, where a lot of her stuff is sitting in boxes. "i already have all of my stuff here!"

rafe sighs, knowing that she has a right to feel this way, especially with the way she was raised.

giving her a serious look, he places each of his hands over her shoulders, trying to calm her down and ease her worries. "okay." he simply says.

she knits her eyebrows together in confusion and shock. "okay?"

he nods, chuckling at her shocked reaction. "yes, okay. we'll figure this out. but, for right now, let's just relax and take it one step at a time, okay?"

with a quiet sigh, she nods, letting him lead her into the living room.

"do you remember, we were sitting there by the water? you put your arm around me for the first time. you made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter. you are the best thing that's ever been mine."

it was meant to be a quiet, romantic picnic by the water. but, it becomes something else entirely.

something much more carefree and exciting.

rafe had planned this for the past few days, knowing that despite he'd been trying to get her to relax about the bills, she was going to be stressed no matter what.

but, that didn't mean that he couldn't give her a nice evening to distract her.

it really was meant to be serious, but that's exactly what [y/n] didn't want. because she wanted the distraction too.

and she's not quite sure how it happens, but she finds herself letting her guard down and wanting to live in excitement.

it's hard to explain, but rafe makes her happy and he makes her feel like she can actually live without everything she's been through holding her back.

that's exactly why when rafe hands her a bowl of grapes, she grabs a few and jokingly throws them at him.

she giggles when she sees the shocked look on his face, but then a teasing glint fills his eyes and a mischievous smile forms on his lips.

"oh, you're gonna pay for that one, sweetheart!" he says, getting up and preparing to get to her, causing her to squeal in both excitement and shock.

she giggles as she gets up and runs away from him, an insane amount of happiness and peace filling her at the current situation — it's moments like this with rafe that makes life feel worth living.

as she keeps running through the spacious field with tall grass and weeds, she glances back again, only to not see him.

this causes her to stop in confusion and look around.

only when she looks in front of her, does she see him jokingly running towards her.

"no!" she squeals, moving to run in the opposite direction, but he catches up to her and is able to pull her to his chest by wrapping his arms around her waist.

she giggles, sighing in defeat, before groaning in feigned-sadness.

"you got me, cameron."

he chuckles, leaning closer to kiss her shoulder and inhaling her scent, taking in the moment. "yes, i do."

the love in his voice causes her to turn around in his hold, his hands holding her waist as she cups his face in her hands.

maybe she's just in the moment — she doesn't know, and she doesn't care — but she murmurs those three words in honesty, "i love you."

he's shocked for a moment, before leaning closer to press a kiss to her forehead. "i love you, too."

a smile takes over both of their lips.

"do you remember all the city lights on the water? you saw me start to believe for the first time. you made a rebel out of a careless man's careful daughter. you are the best thing that's ever been mine."

a big smile on her face is what distracts rafe from the booming and bright fireworks.

that big smile, paired with the excited and awed glint in her eyes as she admires how the fireworks shine and reflect through the water makes his heart nearly stop.

he should be enjoying the celebratory fireworks, but he's only focused on her, because seeing her happy is everything he's ever wanted — possibly from the first moment he met her, even when she refused to get to know him in the beginning because of how scared she was to let him in, after everything she's been through.

noticing how quiet he is, [y/n] turns to face him, adorable confusion in her eyes as she knits her eyebrows together in concern.

"rafe? what's wrong?"

he's quiet for a moment, before shaking his head with a happy smile on his lips. "nothing."

"you sure?" she asks, still very much confused and worried.

that excitement that she expressed before is long gone now as she starts to ramble, "if something's wrong, we can go. it's okay if you're not feeling these fireworks anymore."

rafe immediately shakes his head, moving to kiss her forehead. "everything's fine. i promise."

"okay... then, what is it? what's on your mind?" she asks, tilting her head to the side in further confusion.

he chuckles, smiling down at her. "i just like seeing my girl happy."

not expecting this, [y/n]'s mouth falls open for a second, before her face turns red, clearly loving being called his girl.

he smirks at this, fully knowing his effect on her.

she sighs and leans her forehead over his, not caring who sees. "rafe, i hope you know you've changed my life and i'm so much more happier for it — with you in it."

those words bring a big smile to his lips. "good, i'm glad."

"oh-oh, oh."

one thing she loves most about being with rafe is how complete and happy she feels around him.

because despite the fact that she believed that she'd be stuck in her trauma for the rest of her life, he's shown her that there's more to life and that she wants what he's given to her.

"and i remember that fight, 2:30 a.m. as everything was slipping right out of our hands. i ran out crying and you followed me out into the street. braced myself for the goodbye. 'cause it's all i've ever known. then you took me by surprise. you said, 'i'll never leave you alone.' (oh)."

it was over something stupid — some small argument that turned into a screaming match.

it was something that caused the both of them to lose their control and snap at the other — that let them lose their cool.

it started with [y/n] just asking him a question — and of course it was about the bills because she wanted to do what she could to pay for her living with him.

then, he'd gotten frustrated. and what was once bickering, turned into something much more worse.

and it's not like they're angry at each other.

[y/n] just couldn't shake the feeling of being like a burden and rafe just wanted to show her that that's not how he sees or feels about her.

and it just didn't feel good for either of them — the insults and frustrated comments they made towards each other only made things worse.

when rafe opens his mouth to say something else, [y/n] quickly turns around and walks over to the door.

this throws him off, making him gape at her in surprise.

"[y/n], where are you going?" he asks, getting up and starting to step towards her, but he doesn't get close to her when she quickly twists the door knob and pulls the door open.

she runs out, and despite the pouring rain, she races into it, running until her feet hurt, to the other side of the apartment.

with breathless gasps and sobs leaving her body, she stops short and falls to her knees with her hands quickly hiding her face behind them with her shoulders shaking.

all she can think about is that she's probably messed everything up.

she just had to get involved with the bills and bring up — once again, for the millionth time — how she needs to pay her share for staying with him.

all she can think about is that as soon as she goes back into his apartment, he's going to break up with her and kick her out with a broken heart.

footsteps stop from behind her, but she doesn't hear it because she's distracted with the negative thoughts in her head.

then, a touch to her shoulder shakes her out of her own head and causes her to shakily stand up and turn around.

but, she doesn't look at him, she keeps her head downcast, refusing to see that disappointed look that's most likely on his face right now.

"hey, look at me." he murmurs softly, his heart hurting at how upset she is — how upset he's made her.

she still doesn't, however.

with a deep sigh, he lifts her chin up, forcing her to look at him. "i'm sorry, baby. i'm so sorry. i didn't mean to hurt you."

he frowns as she takes a deep breath, the tears spilling onto her cheeks.

a shaky breath leaves his lips and his eyes immediately soften, gently swiping away the tears with a tender expression on his face.

"i love you so much, princess. it was never my intention to get so cruel. please, know that." he murmurs, his face quickly forming with an expression of guilt and regret.

she sighs, finally finding the courage to speak, "it's not your fault, rafe. this is on me. i'm the one that's been bombarding you with letting me help with the bills — i just kept pushing."

he tilts his head slightly to the side in confusion.

when she doesn't say anything else, he shakes his head. "hey, this isn't your fault. i shouldn't have gotten so mad at you."

her bottom lip trembles, hating how upset she's getting around him.

"it is, though. i've messed everything up and our relationship is going to fall apart because i always destroy everything i touch." she whispers this emotional statement, but rafe hears it clearly.

he sighs, stepping closer to her and gently cupping her cheeks in his hands. "baby, when you told me the truth about your family, i told you then that i'd never hurt you like that." he says seriously, causing her to knit her eyebrows together.

"i promised you that. and that includes not leaving you, okay?" he murmurs, frowning when he sees more tears fill her eyes.

"i'm not leaving you — ever. i meant it when i said i loved you, and i still do."

she still doesn't believe it for a second, but when he doesn't say anything else and his face stays with an expression of honesty, she changes her mind — she believes him now.

"you promise that?" she asks quietly, her voice tight.

he nods, his face still filled with honesty, before he pulls her into him and wraps his arms around her body, while her face falls into his chest and her arms go around his back.

"we're going to figure this out, i promise."

shockingly, those words do just enough to comfort her in the moment.

"you said, 'i remember how we felt, sitting by the water. and every time i look at you, it's like the first time. i fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter. she is the best thing that's ever been mine.'"

it was unexpected to say the least.

she didn't even know how they found her — she hadn't told many people from her old town where she'd moved.

but, somehow, they found her.

the only thing she hates most, is that rafe gets dragged into it — she doesn't want this for him.

but, she and rafe had gone out, to go get some breakfast and then get some groceries, since they've been running low on a lot of things.

and on their way home, [y/n] almost trips, causing rafe to immediately catch her in his arms when they both realize that it's because one of her shoes is untied.

as rafe bends down to tie her shoes, she rolls her eyes at his joking manners.

"there you go, my lady!" he says with a joking tone of voice as he stands back up.

she giggles, rolling her eyes at him. "you're so silly right now, rafe cameron."

he smiles, happy to see her smile as he leans in to place a kiss on her forehead.

despite the fact that they're in the middle of the path of the sidewalk, the couple doesn't even take notice of the people walking past them and giving them dirty looks.

"you're so cute." he murmurs, pulling her body into his and wrapping one of his arms around hers, before pressing a tender kiss to her forehead.

this only causes her to giggle in response, a happy smile taking over on her face.

"you really are, though." he says when he pulls away from her.

she shrugs, not quite believing him herself.

he sighs, rolling his eyes at her clear refusal to believe him.

"you are, sweetheart," he says seriously, now moving his hands to hold her face in his hands. "you are quite literally the best thing to ever happen to me."

her mouth falls open in surprise, before her cheeks flush red and a small smile forms on her lips.

"you really mean that?" she asks softly, tilting her head to the side and watching him closely.

he nods quietly, causing a happy glint to fill her eyes and for her smile to turn into something bigger.

"i feel the same about you, cameron."

the both of them find themselves stuck in the moment, but when someone else passes them, they remember where they are.

rafe steps away from her, but not before intertwining their hands together and leading her down the pathway that's near the apartment building.

but, when they finally get there, two people standing outside makes [y/n] freeze in place.

rafe turns to face her with concern on his face. "hey, what's wrong?" he asks, noticing what she's looking at, making him turn to look too.

not knowing who they are, he turns back to face her. "who are they? do you know them?"

she gulps nervously as the unknown couple starts walking towards them.

catching rafe's nervous face, she quietly explains in a tight voice, "they're my parents."

rafe's once concerned face shifts into one of instinctive-protectiveness.

when he turns back around, her parents finally step in front of them.

[y/n] gulps nervously, barely even noticing the way rafe steps in front of her protectively with one of his arms in front of her — she's too distracted.

"you need to leave." rafe says, before either of [y/n]'s parents can speak first.

her mother is startled, whereas her father becomes quickly irritated. "who do you think you are? we're only here to speak to our daughter!"

her mother, despite everything she's put [y/n] through, nervously touches her ex-husband's shoulder to stop him from starting anything, especially in public.

he, however, harshly shrugs her hand off of his shoulder with an angry look in his eyes.

rafe turns to check on his girlfriend, only to notice the scared and nervous look in her eyes.

seeing this only makes him even more irritated — he hates to see her happy mood from before become sour and sad.

"you seriously need to go. you don't get to pop up back into her life after putting her through hell." he tries his best to stay calm.

this only angers [y/n]'s father; he scoffs angrily, motioning to his daughter. "[y/n], tell this idiot to leave and let us talk!"

[y/n]'s mother winces, nervously glancing around them, noticing that people, who're passing by, are stopping to watch.

somehow, though, [y/n] finds the courage to shake her head insistently. "no. he stays."

this only aggravates her father even more.

"are you really going to let him talk to us like this?!"

she flinches, stepping back.

however, seeing this is just enough for rafe. "you guys need to go. [y/n] has moved on from what you guys put her through and she doesn't need this or any more surprise visits. she doesn't owe you anything."

her father goes to say more, but his ex-wife stops him by grabbing his shoulder to hold him back.

rafe turns back to face [y/n], grabbing her hand and holding it in his own gently.

a soft look fills his face as he speaks his next words, "your daughter is an amazing woman, despite how much you've hurt her. and i love her," he says, causing her to smile in appreciation and love, before he turns back to face her parents again. "and she doesn't need this from you."

"so, do her a favor and leave. and don't come back." he says tensely, still holding her back from behind her.

"excuse me?!" [y/n]'s father exclaims angrily, moving to step forward, not scaring rafe one bit, considering he's use to abusive men like his father.

rafe stays standing in front of his girlfriend in a protective stance, but her mother is the one who reacts before her ex-husband can.

a look of defeat fills her face as she struggles to pull him away from his daughter and her boyfriend.

"let's just go. this was a mistake." she says, still struggling to hold him back.

finding the courage, [y/n] says the next thing that — shockingly — convinces him to leave, "dad, please. just go," she anxiously flinches when she sees the angry look in his eyes, after what she says next, "i'm sorry, but i don't want anything to do with either of you. and you both owe it to me to do that for me."

with a shocked expression, he lets his ex-wife pull him away from them.

when they're finally gone, rafe and [y/n] turn to each other, allowing her the final moment to break.

she drops the grocery bags to the ground, beginning to breathe heavily with tears spilling to her cheeks.

rafe sighs, knowing what she needs as he pulls her into his chest, dropping his own bags to the ground gently.

"it's okay, baby. they're gone." he murmurs quietly, finally wrapping his arms around her body and allowing her to feel what she needs to.

"hold on, make it last. hold on, never turn back. (hold on), you made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter. (hold on), you are the best thing that's ever been mine."

it wasn't a good time. not for either of them.

[y/n] knew that getting into a relationship so soon with rafe was bound to cause some issues for her.

especially with how she struggled in the beginning to open up and let him in and to begin to love him because that would mean letting down her guard and getting attached to him, until he'd eventually leave, because that's all that ever happens with her.

but, rafe is different — he promised he'd never leave or hurt her, and he meant that, and he still does.

it was just one of those days with an intense episode and this time, she can't control it.

and rafe having his own experience with mental health is able to see it from a mile away. and he's able to be there for her — and refuses to leave her — despite what she expects.

he walks past the hallway of the apartment, only to find her on the floor, against the couch, in the living room.

she's shaking and her face is practically beat red from crying and her breathing is panicked.

"baby?" he calls, causing her to immediately glance up in surprise.

her mouth falls open, her eyes filled with panic, but she quickly looks down and hides her face behind her hands.

"i'm fine, rafe. just leave me alone." she says, loud enough for him to hear, hoping that he'll listen because there's no way he'll still see her the same if he witnesses any more of this episode that she's clearly having right now.

this doesn't do anything to deter him.

in fact, it only concerns him more as he races over to her in concern.

her breathing only becomes much more heavy and rushed as he kneels in front of her.

"princess, talk to me." he murmurs quietly, internally struggling on how to be there for her without setting her off — he knows too well how it feels to be so consumed with pain, but to snap at anyone because of it.

she doesn't say anything, but her hands shake as she desperately tries to hold in everything she feels, in order to not snap at her boyfriend.

"hey," he murmurs, finally reaching over to gently pull her hands away from her face. "you can talk to me. you don't have to go through this alone." he murmurs, quickly becoming much more worried when he sees the way she's struggling to breathe.

the look in his eyes that are filled with both concern and love gives her the courage to finally talk, "r—rafe, i can't... i can't b—breathe... "

that pressure on her chest becomes incredibly tighter as she clenches her eyes shut in further panic.

he sighs, soothingly running one of his hands over one side of her hair in worry.

"okay... do you know if you're having a panic attack or anxiety attack, or is this an episode?" he asks genuinely, grabbing one of her hands and rubbing his thumb over it soothingly as he waits for her answer.

she shakes her head in more stress, shaking. "i—i don't know... i think... i—it might be b—both."

rafe sighs stressfully, before letting go of her hand to move to sit beside her.

"okay," he says in determination to help her as he grabs her hands to hold gently. "what i want you to do, is breathe with me, okay?"

she breathlessly nods, her eyes following his hand that's taking one of hers to hold over his chest and over his heart.

he counts to three, before nodding along with her as he starts to breathe calmly and deeply.

a shaky breath leaves her lips as she breathes deeply and calmly with him, but it doesn't feel like she's actually breathing on the inside.

noticing this, rafe nods, still very much determined. "okay, this is okay," he murmurs, holding her hand with his over hers that's over his heart. "just keep going, okay? you can do this."

she nods, still struggling to breathe with searing tears falling repetitively.

"it's okay. just close your eyes, and focus on my heartbeat and just try to breathe." he murmurs, trying to ignore how worried he is about her — he needs to be strong for her to get through this.

closing her eyes, she tries to take a deep breath and listens to the calm and normal beating of his heart.

after a while, she begins to calm down with her breaths returning to normal.

taking another deep breath, she sighs in relief and leans into him. "thank you, rafe."

he nods, wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

after a few more minutes, she pulls away from him with an embarrassed expression clear on her face.

"i'm sorry. i hate that you saw me like that." she apologizes, glancing down at her now fidgeting hands, feeling deep in her bones that he'll see her completely different, now that he's seen her in this state.

rafe shakes his head at her, grabbing one of her hands with one of his and lifting her chin up with the other. "hey, don't apologize."

she opens her mouth to say more, but he cuts her off, "you're my girl, baby. when you hurt, i hurt. this is what i'm here for."

his words warm her heart and tears fill her eyes.

"you promise that you don't see me differently now?" she asks in barely a whisper.

moving his hands to her cheeks, he smiles at her with a fond smile. "baby, there's not a single thing in the entire world that could ever make me see you differently other than the girl i'm in love with and love with my whole heart."

a small, audible gasp leaves her lips at hearing that statement — this is the first time he's ever admitted to being in love with her.

i mean, sure, he's told her countless times that he loves her, but he's never told her until now that he's in love with her.

"really?" she asks in a whisper, once again.

he nods, smiling at the happy smile that takes over her face.

with no other words exchanged, [y/n] turns to lean her body against him again, only this time they're cuddling each other and closer to each other more than before.

"do you believe it? (yeah, yeah, yeah). we're gonna make it now, (yeah, yeah, yeah). and i can see it, (yeah, yeah). i can see it now."

"are you sure about this?" rafe asks her, his voice filled with nerves.

she turns around to face him, immediately noticing how nervous he is.

"as long as you are," she says, placing her hands on each side of his neck as he leans his body against the side of his car. "seriously, you tell me right now, if you're having doubts. we can always do this a different time."

she is nothing but supportive, something he notices immediately.

the situation that's stressing him out in question? it's about visiting outer banks, to meet with his sister and her friends.

things have been better with them, after he got the help he needed and helped pay for the actions he committed.

but, being on good terms with them isn't what's worrying him — it's the fact that he's going to have to run into his father at some point.

now, the truth is, rafe told [y/n] the truth about everything that happened in the obx when the two of them started getting really serious — he didn't want to lie to her.

but, another thing he's worried about, is him introducing [y/n] to everyone — he worries that they'll think that he doesn't deserve her.

because if they believe that, then he'll have to believe it too.

but, seeing the lost look in his eyes — which is clearly telling her that he's stuck in his head right now — [y/n] catches his attention by wrapping her arms around his neck.

as he wraps his arms around her waist, she leans closer to him, leaning her forehead over his, before pulling away with an infectious smile.

"it's going to be okay. but, it's your decision," she murmurs seriously. "but, if we do go, just know that i'll be there with you the whole time — you won't have to go through this alone."

her words are what helps him make his decision.

"if you're with me, i think we can go."

"yeah?" she asks, just to make sure.

"yeah." he says, confirming it with a smile.

a big smile spreads over her lips, nodding in clear excitement.

"okay," she says in confirmation. "let's go, then."

with that, she pulls away from him, giving him a look that really does prove that every word she said to him is something that she means completely.

this is all he needs to agree.

before they go, however, he pulls her back towards her to press a sweet kiss to her lips — one that she returns.

she pulls away with a big smile. "i love you, cameron."

he laughs in agreement. "and i love you."

[roosteraloha]

in sickness

jake seresin x reader

wc - 3k

warnings - talks of poor mental health, not looking after yourself, chronic pain discussions, a lot of angst but also a lot of fluff !!

disclaimer - ANY BLANK/AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED!! I also DO NOT give permission for any of my works to be copied, shared, compiled, translated or posted onto other sites!!

a/n - I hope this fic can provide you a bit comfort, whether you experience chronic pain or not!! life is terrible right now and this is my little bit of comfort while I get through this flare up. pls always take care of yourselves <3

comments & reblogs are greatly appreciated!!

You had been feeling off for a while. You couldn’t pinpoint exactly when this feeling started, it just did. And it sucked. Usually a bright and hard working individual, you now felt more like a shell of who you used to be - more than you ever had before.

With no family around, this was the year you’d truly be alone for the holiday season. A welcome change to the fake smile you’d plaster on, anything to avoid more for your family to pick you apart for. Anything to avoid being seen as the family failure even more.

Working part time as a barista while you continued your studies at a new campus, began merely as a way to pay rent and pay the remaining tuition, which failed to be covered by your scholarships. Now, your work was a chance to escape both from your family issues and your school work, a chance to just be.

A few months into living in San Diego, you’d developed a much needed routine; classes in the day, serving regulars at the little café, then studying more when you got home.

There was one regular at the café that always made your smile a bit brighter, a real smile, rather than the fake customer service one that you had perfected.

A tall, blonde aviator.

He arrived like clockwork every single day, ordered the same drink and pastry each day, and something you noticed the longer you worked there, only gave his signature wink and drawl of “Thanks darlin’” to you. A fact that gave you a flutter of butterflies each time he walked through the door.

It had taken you a few months to work up the courage to accept his invitation of a date, ironically he insisted on just going for a coffee (or any drink you'd prefer, as he insisted), which then progressed to him regularly joining you at the café on your late shifts. Jake was the absolute definition of a gentleman, opening and holding doors for you, insisting on walking you home, saying “I couldn’t sleep not knowing if you got home safe darlin’”.

It made your heart flutter to have the attention of such a man. You’d imagined that this type of love would only ever exist in cheesy romance books, but Jake exceeded even those standards and expectations.

Having Jake in your life was a blessing. One that you would never take for granted. Even on your bad days.

It wasn’t that you were intentionally ignoring Jake, it was more the fact that you instinctively knew that as soon as you let him get a proper answer from you, he’d instantly know something was wrong and immediately try and fix it. Something your younger self would crave, but now, you couldn’t find it in you to care. Going from class to class, then to work, picking up extra shifts just to occupy your mind, leaving earlier and earlier, coming home later and later.

It was a good thing you lived alone and hadn’t caved to Jake’s repeated attempts to get you to move in with him, which realistically would be the best idea both for your commute and your relationship, not to mention that you slept over at his place almost daily. However, this flare up of poor moods and anxiety, was clouding your logical view, and you refused each and every plea from your loving boyfriend. You knew he was only looking out for you, but you couldn’t help the irritation that prickled up stronger with each invitation. The insinuation that you couldn’t look after yourself, that you needed someone to take care of you. A snappy comment lodged in your throat, but finding yourself too detached to even voice it.

Living alone provided you with the much needed sanctuary where you could just be. Somewhere you didn’t need to worry about someone seeing just how badly you were suffering on a day to day basis. You knew deep down, that living with Jake would better for you both, but you had particularly stubborn streak that had developed from the constant dismissal of your feeling from your family. Jake, you knew would never be like them, he was far too observant to not notice, and far too caring to let you suffer alone.

It wasn’t until Jake cornered you on your mandatory day off that he finally found the perfect opportunity to get to the bottom of your sudden emotional polarity. He’d cleared the leave with Cyclone, citing a hurried mention of a ‘family emergency’, which to Jake this was, and consequently receiving the next week off without any further explanation.

Knowing your penchant for burying any negative feelings, and faking your way through your days off which aligned with his in the past, Jake followed his normal morning routine. An early wake up call, one which to his growing concern, you were seemingly awake before, a bland breakfast of toast and coffee, then heading to his truck, backing out his truck, then instead of the usual commute to base, Jake parked at the end of the street and waited an hour before heading back.

Jake was greeted by a silent home. If he didn’t know better, he’d think that there was nobody home, but your keys were still by the door, your shoes messily stacked by the coat hooks, everything in the exact place as when he left.

Frowning, he makes his way through the house, scanning every room for any signs that you had moved from your curled position on the bed, the one you hadn’t moved from since you got home the night before.

There was a small crack in the paint of Jake’s bedroom wall.

A minute crack really.

Just to the right of the bedroom door, creeping up from the baseboards. Barely noticeable to anyone else, but you have been so fixated on it, unable to tear your gaze away from it. A quick lick of paint, even one of those tester rollers that Jake kept in his toolbox would do it. But yet again, you couldn’t find it in you to care.

Huffing at nothing in particular, you blink slowly, your eyes drying out from your blank, unwavering stare, the blood vessels shot around your irises, irritated more with each blink.

Jake slowly pushes the bedroom door open, having paused to watch your empty stare, growing more concerned with each passing minute. On your best days, you weren’t known to be the most bubbly and social person, but still made the effort anyway. Now? Now Jake was halfway to calling in reinforcements, in whatever way he could to try and get through to you, even if you hated him afterwards.

His slow pace to your side was an effort to not startle you, he needn’t have worried, you didn’t even flinch, like you normally did, when he pressed a gentle kiss to your exposed shoulder.

Having come from a very complex family, with a concerning lack of physical contact, you often found yourself flinching away from people, getting overwhelmed when people refused to give you space, getting frustrated with your feelings, unable to communicate your desires and needs for physical interaction, romantic or platonic. It was something that Jake had easily picked up on, quickly learning your tells, learning exactly what you craved, without you having to explicitly say anything at all.

Sighing, Jake decided to take a risk, you have been known to lash out in the past, whenever you haven’t been warned about incoming physical contact. Exhaling slowly, praying to whatever he could, Jake slid his hand gently up your arm, getting you used to his touch before pulling you up into a sitting position, crouching before you, directly in your eye line.

Jake nudged you gently, trying to get a response from you. startling from the movement, your gaze darts from the paint crack to Jake’s hand on your knee. Goosebumps erupt across your arms as you focus on the sensation of his large, warm hand on your skin. Feeling your muscles tense under his hand, he rubs his thumb in soothing circles, trying to placate your instinct to flinch away.

Breath hitching in your throat, you instinctively jolt backwards, away from Jake. He exhales loudly, disappointed and slightly hurt that you still have this reaction to him after all this time. Jake has always been the perfect boyfriend, always there to be supportive, even when you often feel that you don’t deserve it.

Having zoned back into reality, you refuse to make eye contact with Jake, instead keeping him in your periphery as you cautiously shuffle back towards him. Jake raises an eyebrow at the sudden change, it was highly unusual for you to even try and instigate physical proximity, where this would normally be a good thing, today, it added to his growing concern that you were not okay. Far from it.

Jake tried and failed to catch your eye line, eyes darting away from him with each attempt. Deciding on a different approach, Jake knelt from his crouched position, “Darlin’ when was the last time you ate?” A halfhearted shrug was the only response, while an improvement, Jake’s heart ached knowing you needed his help and support desperately, but knew you were too nervous and stubborn to ask on a good day, that today he stood no chance of getting a response from you.

Feeling a wave of confidence, you flicked your eyes over to Jake, scanning his features, taking in his clear concern and worry about you. Heart pounding in your chest, you anxiously clench your hand tightly into a fist a few times, before slowly reaching your hand out to Jake, quickly retracting it as you begin to overthink it.

Brows furrowed, Jake moves to sit beside you, leaving a space between you, softly smiling in encouragement as your eyes follow his movements and then slowly turn your body to face him.

“What do you need from me right now?” His voice quiet, yet steady and comforting. Another weak shrug. Registering the increasing frustration in Jake’s expression, you shakily reach out for his hand, intertwining your fingers and taking in all the calluses and faint scars on his hand, finding the simple contact immediately calming, feeling bold enough to express your want.

A gentle tug on his hand, your hand slowing moving up his arm, then round his waist, climbing slowing and shakily into his lap, curling up his strong embrace, nuzzling your head into his chest. Jake stayed still in disbelief, this was everything he dreamed you’d one day be comfortable to ask for, never mind instigate of your own will. Smiling to himself in pride, he readjusts his position on the edge of his bed, a soothing hand in your hair, scratching lightly at your scalp, something that Jake had noticed eaisly helped you relax. After a few moments your muscles slowly began to relax and eyes growing heavy.

The rapid succession of sneezes and soft whimpers that Jake woke to in the afternoon, alerted him to the root cause of your recent lack of responsiveness. A soft grumble was followed by you curling back into Jake’s side, nuzzling into his warmth, finding comfort from him wherever you could.

In the entire span of your relationship, Jake can only recall you being sick a handful of times. Perhaps something to do with your insistence of maintaining your personal space Jake has always thought, but you sick was an experience, one that Jake hated. Thinking back over the past few weeks, the warning signs that you were getting sick, were now glaringly obvious and Jake was mentally kicking himself for not paying close enough attention.

Gathering the various medicines from his bathroom, ones that he had previously taken note of that seemed to help ease your symptoms the best. Jake sets the various bottles and packets on the bedside table, picking one at random to try and convince you to take.

Narrowing your bloodshot eyes at Jake, you shake your head vehemently, an action you quickly regret. Clutching at your head in agony, you whimper quietly, shifting back towards Jake, burying your head in the crook of his neck and clinging to him like a lifeline.

Gently coaxing you out from your comfortable position, Jake’s heart broke knowing he’s asking you to do the opposite of everything you’d been working on together. Eyes glassy with unshed tears, you try to cling to the comfort of his embrace, confused as to why Jake was forcing you away from him. Unable to think logically in your pained state, you took this as a rejection, promptly turning away from Jake, putting as much distance between you both as his king sized bed allowed.

A pill is placed firmly in your hand, a chance to take it yourself, one you instantly refused, tossing the pill over your shoulder, hopefully somewhere in Jake’s direction, you couldn’t really find it in you to care.

A startled yelp leaves your lips as you’re manhandled by Jake, your back now resting against his chest, a firm arm across your waist, keeping you close in his hold. You were too weak to fight him anyway, but Jake took the precaution anyway.

He knows you.

Much to your chagrin, another pill is placed in the palm of your hand. Craning your neck to see Jake’s motives, you’re annoyed to see a blank expression, all he does is gesture to the pill in your hand, and look away from you completely.

Having suffered from chronic pain for years, you despise each pill you have to take, from many years of doctors just giving you pill after pill without listening to your concerns. Now you find yourself avoiding doctors, or any medication wherever you can. Jake knew this, it was something discussed early on in your relationship, not wanting him to feel ignored when you inevitably had a flare up and consequently spent the next week or two in bed recovering, which is why you feel so hurt when he keeps insisting on you taking this medication.

When your equally blank stare at Jake goes on too long, he sighs heavily, pulling you back with him as he leans back against the headboard. Feeling the rumble of his low voice behind you had a surprisingly soothing effect, “Darlin’. Please just let me take care of you.”

When that didn’t produce a response, “C’mon darlin’, it’s breaking my heart to see you in so much pain.”

Turning in his hold, cupping his cheek with your hand momentarily, causing him to flinch at how cold you felt, slowly sitting, reaching for the pill and quickly swallowing the bitterness with the glass of water that jake insisted you keep by the bed whenever you’d stay over. Several kisses are pressed across your hairline and forehead, soft mumblings of praise continue as you settle back in his arms.

“I know how much you hate taking them, but you have to in order to get better darlin’.” Scoffing in disapproval, and resentment of your boyfriend yet again being right, results in Jake wrapping his arms even tighter around you, careful of any known sensitive areas, pressing more gentle kisses to the top of your head.

“Before you get too comfortable, we’ve got to get you something to eat. God knows when you last ate a proper meal.”

You swallowed cautiously, “That time you cooked your grandmother’s recipe.”

Silence.

You felt him tense behind you, sitting up straighter, gentle fingers at your chin in an effort for you to look at him.

“Sweetheart… That was almost a week ago.”

Shrugging, you try a nonchalant approach, knowing Jake would not like the answer, “I eat stuff at the café and in between classes when I can. I just don’t have time to cook a full meal anymore Jake.”

Exasperated, Jake pulls you to stand, wrapping a blanket around your shoulders, then taking your hand gently and leading downstairs to the kitchen. He busies himself, after seating you on the counter, checking cupboards and the fridge to see what he could pull together for you both. Settling on something basic, he gets to cooking, something he enjoys. Not that Jake liked to openly share this with his fellow aviators, in case of any ribbing and teasing, yet another reason he had been overly cautious as to not introduce you to the group already.

The delectable scents wafting in your direction results in several rumbles from your stomach, a light blush stains your cheeks when Jake glanced in your direction with a teasing smile. Shrugging playfully in response brings a bright grin to Jake’s face, the one that always has you smiling along with him, because how could you be sad when he looked at you like that, with that much love in his eyes just for you?

One lovingly home cooked meal later, you’re yet again tucked into Jake’s side in his bed, considerably more relaxed than when Jake left in the morning. With the self-reflection that you’d both started to keep your relationship healthy, you knew you weren’t the best at looking after yourself, which only got worse during a flare up or sickness. Jake however, was your constant. A strong caring and protective streak, you would never suffer alone again.

“I missed this. I missed you. Can we stay like this for just a bit longer?” You murmur quietly into his chest, arms tightening around his waist.

“Of course darlin’,” Jake places a soft kiss on the crown of your head.

“You don’t even need to ask.”

While there were some days that you felt so isolated and a burden, those days were notably fewer now that you had Jake in your life.

You just didn’t know that Jake vowed from the day you confessed your struggles that he would always be there to look after you.

In sickness and in health.

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[winterchimez]

Heart's Detour | Kim Sunwoo

SUMMARY: there has been a rise in kidnapping cases in town, and your brother feared for your safety and decided to send someone who would keep you safe in the meantime. what you least expected was that the biker gang's leader was the one your brother had gotten for you, thinking that this could probably be the biggest mistake you'll ever make in your life.

PAIRING: biker!Sunwoo x afab!reader (feat. lieutenant!Jacob)

GENRE: biker au, angst, crime, fluff, thriller, slight suggestive

WARNINGS: nc-17, first and foremost Sunwoo is very flirty and delulu here 😃👍, slow-burn, pet names (sweetheart, princess, kitten), violence, action scenes (certain parts may contain slight bit of gory content), mentions of weaponary (guns), minor characters death, blood, betrayal, mentions of crime (kidnapping and human trafficking), slight mention about sex, traumatic backstories, mentions about mental well-being/health, Sunwoo is shirtless at one point 👀, kissing, making out, yn also flirts back but it's only to keep Sunwoo in place 🫡

WORD COUNT: 22,779 (what in the world.)

A/N: 1/3 of the fics for this christmas season is out!! @itsbeeble @kimsohn for the both of you 😚 maya consider this my early birthday gift to you ❤️ also a huge shoutout to @justalildumpling @from-izzy for beta reading this whole chunk of bad boy ily both sm i appreciate you always 💕💕💕

“Oh my god, you look like my next big mistake.” 

That was the first thing that escaped right out of your mouth as the familiar figure pulled into the driveway. You already knew who it was—that black leather jacket, the black helmet that covered his breathtaking look (as much as you didn’t want to admit it), and the slightly worn-out boots he always wore. 

It was the moment he took his helmet off and shook his hair to clear his vision so that he would always look straight at you and smile before you decided to ruin the mood. 

“Now that’s just rude. I was nice enough to accept your brother’s request to come pick you up.” 

“What makes you think I’d go with you, Sunwoo? You’re one of our district's most dangerous human beings,” you deadpanned. 

“Look sweetheart, it’s either you hop on, or I’ll leave you behind. For your information, I would still drag your ass to ride my baby because I would not want to be fed to the hound dogs by your brother.” 

With his reply, you quickly glanced around the area you were in to find that it was dead silent and empty and that it was already going to be midnight as you glanced at your watch. Knowing that you didn’t have a choice, you reluctantly grabbed the helmet Sunwoo was extending to you and placed it over your head. 

He smirked at your reaction, knowing very well how he was the only option to get back home. Before he did the same, he hopped back into his vehicle. 

“Grab on.” That was the last thing he said before covering down his face shield as he started the engine. As you gently wrapped your arms around his wrist, he gave the throttle a few twists. Instantly, the bike propelled forward, and you were both on the road. 

It wasn’t unusual for your brother Jacob to cancel on you and be unable to pick you up from your job location on the city's outskirts. You knew deep down that he was always busy with his job back at the station. He was one of the lieutenants of the Seoul Metropolitan Police Department, after all. When duty calls, he has to stay behind and arrange transport for you instead.

You have repeatedly reassured him that you could take the bus back home or figure out how to deal with matters like this on your own. However, your brother insisted that you were not to take the public transport back as there has been a sudden rise in crimes in the city. 

Additionally, the town you resided in was infamous for the biker gangs, the one that the man in front of you was part of. Nobody dared to come close to them, fearing for their lives as they were capable of doing the worst possible things you could’ve imagined. But it was part of their persona that they always kept up with, as it helped them stay safe from potential dangers or threats against them. 

Hence, you have never understood why your brother, who is part of the police force, would associate with a man like Kim Sunwoo. As far as you and the public knew, he was the leader of the biker gang in Seoul. As soon as his name was mentioned, the public would keep a distance and fear the man himself. But because of how often you have interacted with the man, you find him to be the complete opposite of the image he painted towards the public. 

In reality, he was a goofy guy and not as terrifying nor harmful as the public had determined him to be. He was careless at times, getting all ahead of himself, which completely paints the picture of him being delusional. At times, you would tease him about something, and that was when you realised he gets scared easily. Talk to him about a ghost story, and you can guarantee that he was going to piss his pants even before you even reached the climax of your story. 

In other words, he always looked out for you in your brother’s absence, and he would lurk behind the shadows somewhere, ensuring you would be all alright. You were pretty sure that he probably signed some sort of deal or contract with your brother to do so because who were they to spend most of their life looking out for a young adult like you? 

You were definitely grateful for that, as much as you would never admit it straight up to Sunwoo’s face; you just couldn’t understand why a biker leader like him would associate with you and your brother. 

As you both rode for a bit, you eventually found yourselves back in the heart of Seoul. There was something about riding a bike as you took in the breathtaking view as the wind rushed past your tousling hair, sending this thrilling sensation down your spine. 

If you were with a complete stranger, it would have set off so many alarms in your mind because of the multiple biker stories you have heard from the news and your brother. 

But somehow, for some reason, riding with Sunwoo has always made you feel comfortable and safe. 

Perhaps it was why you decided to hop on with him in the first place. It was your first time riding his bike with him, yet you weren’t too mad about the idea. In fact, you were kind of grateful that your brother set up such arrangements. 

It didn’t take you both long enough before Sunwoo eventually dropped you off right at your doorstep. You got off the bike with ease and handed the helmet back to him as you walked up to your front door porch. Right before you decided to turn the doorknob to open the door, you turned your head back to see that Sunwoo was still there looking at you.

“You’re not going to kidnap me, aren’t you?” 

“Come on, you actually think that I’m a pervert? What makes you think so, sweetheart?” 

“Many reasons,” you spat.  

“Rude.” 

“I’ll take that.” 

“Well, now that you’re back home safe and sound, I’ll finally take my leave. Let your brother know about it.” 

With one final glance, he lifted his feet on the ground back up to his bike before twisting the throttle again to give his motorcycle an immediate surge of power, and he sped quickly out from your neighbourhood. 

As you got into the comforts of your home, you made yourself comfortable before sending your brother Jacob a text to tell him that you were safe and sound before tucking yourself into bed. 

Throughout the night, you just couldn’t help but ponder why the biker’s leader would actually care or even listen to the law enforcement to escort you back home. He couldn’t have cared less and certainly had much more pressing matters than dealing with a young adult like you. 

As you tossed and turned in your bed, that question remained in your mind, keeping you wide awake all night. 

Kim Sunwoo, just who or what exactly are you?

“So you’re my personal babysitter now?” 

You were chilling at your local coffee shop, rushing up your remaining assignments due the following week. You were still a university student before your part-time job, and had no choice but to sacrifice most of your sleep and free time to deal with pressing matters. 

Just as you were typing away on your laptop, a familiar figure suddenly approached you with two cups of iced macchiato in both hands before he plopped down on the seat right across you and handed you one of the drinks. You raised an eyebrow at him, making him stop sipping his coffee away. 

“Brother’s orders,” he replied.

You had no idea why exactly Jacob was doing all of this. In fact, he hasn’t been coming home much for the past week as he had been caught up with work at his station, which is also where you assumed he was sleeping for the time being. During his absence, the infamous biker leader who was sitting in front of you has been personally coming to pick you up from work every single day. 

You thought that since you were off to focus on your studies this whole week, you would finally take a break from the delusional man himself. It turns out you were wrong, and he was here with you in the coffee shop you once called your comfort place. 

You didn’t entirely hate this guy, though; it was more of questioning why he was associating with you more often now as one of the town’s most feared individuals. Naturally, that also caused the people around you to give you the side-eye or just avoid you like the plague, all thanks to the one and only Kim Sunwoo. 

There was a moment of silence between you two as you continued typing away on your laptop. It wasn’t long before the male bent over to peek at your laptop screen to see what you were working with. 

“Don’t even bother helping me.” You replied bluntly. 

“You never know I might be an expert in your field of work.” 

You sighed. “Kim Sunwoo. It’s literature.” 

“Well, I wouldn’t be the biker gang leader for no reason. I’ve got great communication skills, after all.” 

“For your information, it’s about writing a 2000 essay review on William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet.” 

Upon hearing the novel's name, he immediately grinned widely before scooting his chair closer to you, giving you this puppy look that he was now very intrigued by your work. 

“Oh my god, Romeo and Juliet is my absolute favourite! Mark my words when I tell you I am a huge fan of romance novels or TV shows!” 

You sighed in defeat when he began reading the essay that you have written so far; you could tell that he was the type not to let go of something that piqued his interest. He was even reading it very diligently, and you couldn’t help but chuckle at that sight. 

“Hey, don’t look down on me. Just so you know, I aced all of my tests back in school and was a model student.” 

“Hmm, questionable, but I will take that.” 

Just like that, the time seemed to pass as quickly as possible, and you were even surprised by how much knowledge he had about the classic novella itself. It was intriguing to find out that he got invested in the topic and was able to help you brainstorm specific ideas that you could add on to make your essay much more sophisticated. 

Right when you were about to type away to finish up the final parts of your essay, you suddenly felt a little tap on your shoulders, which made you turn your head back to see who it was. Once you laid your eyes upon them, you quickly shot up from your chair and gave them a big hug. 

“Kisa! Where exactly have you been? Everyone at work has missed you so badly.” You hugged your former co-worker tightly, rubbing your cheeks together even as it had been months since you had last seen each other. 

“I know. Things have been rough recently, and I had no choice but to take a short leave.” 

“You could have at least told us what was going on, Kisa. Weren’t we all your closest buds around town?” 

She chuckled. “I guess.” 

There was a little awkward moment of silence between you two, which you thought was a bit odd as Kisa used to be an excellent talker who would always have a topic ready up her sleeves. You quickly examined the look in her eyes, and you could tell that something was off; it almost felt as if she was trying to tell you something, but she couldn’t for some reason.

Hence, you decided to ask her. “Hey Kisa, is everything alright—”

“You know, Y/N! There is this new cafe right towards the end of the street where we could go that serves your favourite croffles. It’s been a while, so why don’t we catch up for a bit?” Kisa asked rather hastily. 

You could sense that something was off from her tone of voice and speech, and you desperately wanted to find out at this point. 

“Yeah, of course! Let’s head off—”

“I’m sorry, but she won’t be able to join you today.” 

Immediately, Sunwoo grabbed your wrist, pulled you back towards him and wrapped his hands around your shoulders. 

“You see, Y/N is actually on a date with me today. Perhaps the both of you could do it some other time? I apologise for that, miss.” Sunwoo replied with a smile on his face, and that immediately made Kisa back off. 

“Y-Yeah, of course! I’m so sorry to have bothered you, Y/N. I’ll see you sometime again soon!” 

Instantly, Kisa turned her heel and dashed towards the front door. Just like that, your co-worker you haven’t seen for months disappeared into thin air once again. You quickly darted your face back to Sunwoo, trying to interrogate him as to why on earth he had done what he did. 

“Kim Sunwoo, I knew you were delusional, but that doesn’t mean you could do that to me—”

“Let’s get out of here.” 

Sunwoo immediately cut you off and quickly helped take all your belongings for you as he pushed you towards the front door, right towards his bike. Once you both had strapped on, Sunwoo immediately took speed and quickly drove away. During the entire ride home, it was obvious that he knew or saw something, as you felt his whole body was all tense up as you wrapped your arms around him. 

He was awfully quiet too, not even sparring a glance back at you during the journey, and that alone was weird enough for you since he would always joke around and shout aloud amidst the busy traffic to make sure that you were still able to converse with him. 

But no, not this time. 

Once he dropped you off at your front porch, he kept scanning the area around your house and wouldn’t even try to speak with you. When you finally removed the helmet and handed it back to him, he quickly grabbed your wrist again, and his grip tightened against yours. 

“Whatever you do, stay at home for now. Do not leave unless it is me or your brother who answers the door,” he spoke firmly, making sure you get that through your head before he finally let go of your grip.

This was the infamous biker leader you grew up listening to rumours about how he was cold in reality, and as to why so many people were terrified of him. There was this aura around this man, and that whatever came out from his mouth, he meant business, and he wasn’t the type to joke around when he set his mind on something. It was also the deathly cold stare he gave that scared so many people, including you right now as you witness them firsthand in person. 

Giving him a little nod, he lets go of your grip so you can finally head up to open your locked front door. Once you had turned the doorknob and taken your first step in, you glanced behind again to see that he was still giving you that cold death stare. To be honest, it terrified you a little, and you knew that you couldn’t ask what the whole fiasco happened back at the cafe, at least not for now. 

With that, you walked right into the comforts of your house and closed the door shut, eyes still glued towards that cold death stare from the biker leader. You tried your best to distract yourself by cleaning up the house a little and getting yourself all cosy and ready for bed while sparing a few glances at your windows to see that Sunwoo was still there, staring directly at your house, or rather, at you. 

It wasn’t until the clock finally struck midnight that Sunwoo decided it was time to leave you alone as he drove off and disappeared.

Whatever happened today was enough for you to finally conclude that something was up, and you needed to know. It surely must not have just been a pure coincidence that Sunwoo has been popping up in your life just like that out of the blue, and how your brother actually trusted him and asked that he took care of you in his place, and with what happened today at the cafe with Kisa. 

Something was definitely up, and you needed answers. 

Immediately.

You couldn’t care less if you were to be scolded by your big brother. When you woke up this morning, you quickly called for a taxi to take you to your brother’s station. It took a while to convince the ones at the reception that your brother was one of the lieutenants, so they had to call Jacob and make him personally come down to escort you. 

Jacob's eyes widened upon seeing you, but the moment he saw your face, he knew that you came here for a good reason and that you weren’t just here for a visit. 

After passing through the multiple securities, you finally ended up in his office on one of the top floors. Luckily, things weren’t too busy, so your brother had some time to spare with you. 

“Hey sis, I’m sorry I haven’t been able to come home lately nor pick you up from work. It’s just that I have had so many cases to deal with—”

“Jacob, I need answers.” You cut him off. 

It was the look that you had in your eyes that made it absolutely clear to Jacob that you weren’t leaving until you had the answers that you desperately wanted. It has always been like this for you, even when you were a child. You were persistent and would do anything to get whatever you wanted. With you seated on the couch in his office, you leaned back slightly and crossed your arms and legs, indirectly telling your brother to do the same.

Jacob let out a deep sigh before he finally got himself comfortable and placed a hot cup of freshly brewed tea he had made just for you right onto the table, pushing it towards you before he finally sat down across the couch from you.

It took a moment for him to rub his palms together before lifting up his face to look directly at you. 

“Y/N, please know that I’m doing everything I can to keep you safe at all times—”

“Not that, Jacob. Just cut to the chase, please.” 

“It’s…well, long story short, there have been multiple cases of young girls who have been going missing for the past couple of weeks. And we have been searching high and low for clues but to no avail.” He furrowed his eyebrows as he finally spat out what had been bugging him for weeks. 

“Okay? And what does that have to do with you sending the infamous Kim Sunwoo to care for me?” 

“You’ll be needing him, Y/N. I promise he will surely be looking out for you, no matter what.”

“Well, that’s reassuring to know. But why, Jacob? Since when have you ever associated yourself with a dangerous man like him?” You questioned. 

This time, you could tell that your brother was slightly hesitant in his next words and struggled to come up with possible answers that would please your curiosity. 

“That’s…something I can’t say for now. But you will eventually find out yourself soon.” 

You scoffed before standing up and raising your voice towards your brother. “Jacob, I came all the way out here to hear answers from you, my own brother. The fact that what happened at the cafe last night was odd enough, to the point that Sunwoo even gave me this death stare warning me as if I may be in danger or something. I have no idea what exactly you both are planning, but you better tell me everything from the beginning for God’s sake, right this second.” 

There was this apologetic look in his eyes as he stared right back at your now-turning-red face, standing up and placing both hands on your shoulders, trying to calm you down. It was then, all of a sudden, that there was a knock on his door, and he instructed whoever it was to come in. It was one of his subordinates, and he was summoned to the chief’s office to discuss the missing cases further. 

Before Jacob left the room, he turned back to grab his jacket quickly and hastily put it on while speaking to you for one last time. 

“Stay here, Y/N. I’ll drop you back home after I’m done with this meeting. I’ll try my best to return as soon as possible.” 

Within seconds, Jacob and his subordinate rushed out of the room and closed the door shut. Now that your brother was gone, there was no way that you would just sit back and relax, knowing that there have been cases of young girls going missing around town. You needed to learn more about this, even if your brother isn’t willing to tell you anything more about it. 

You decided to salvage through his work desk, opening up each cabinet to see if you could find anything useful regarding the case. Scanning through the multiple files that he had kept away nicely, it seemed as if your brother might have taken the file that contained potential evidence or information about the missing girls, so you were left with nothing that could give you a bit of an insight to what exactly was going around in town.

That was until you discovered a little slip of paper peeking through one of the files. 

You quickly took it out from the folder, and a smirk began to form on your face as you read through the information on that little piece of paper. 

“If you’re not going to tell me, Jacob, I’ll figure all this out myself then.”

With the last remaining pocket money you had , you managed to hail a taxi to bring you to the specified location that was written on that little piece of paper. However, you gave the driver a slightly different route than the one from the paper, for you knew that no ordinary citizen would ever step foot within the infamous territory.

The moment you stepped out of the vehicle, you assumed that you would be walking for about a good ten minutes before you were able to arrive at the exact location. You didn’t mind that in the slightest bit; you just needed to find the right person to ask the questions that have been gruelling in the back of your mind. 

The walk towards the location wasn’t exactly smooth as you had to pass through the woods to get there undetected. It was already dark out then, so you had to rely on your handy-dandy torchlight from your phone to guide you through the woods. It felt eerie, and the crackling sounds as you stepped on the branches scattered across the ground didn’t help in the slightest bit.

But you had to remind yourself that you came here constantly for a purpose: no matter what, you weren’t going home empty-handed. With the best of your abilities, you pushed through and eventually, arrived after almost an hour of walking, where, in reality, it would’ve taken you ten minutes if you didn’t spend most of the time getting lost in the woods. 

What mattered was that you were finally at the location, and upon first inspection, it was a vast empty parking lot filled with motorcycles from one end to another. Thankfully, there were multiple huge metal transport boxes that filled the area, so you sneakily stepped out from the woods and ran to the closest one to hide. 

You decided to sneak your head out a little and peek through the corners of the box, and as expected, you were able to spot several individuals towards the far end of the parking lot. Some of them were leaning against their bikes as they drank to their heart’s content while chatting away, while others were ultimately passed out and fast asleep in the empty garage at the centre. 

Judging from the location you were at now, it was nearly impossible to hear precisely what those individuals were talking about. If you want to get your hands on concrete evidence, you have got to move closer. 

With a quick dash, you ran towards box by box while trying your best to be undetected. Each time you managed to get from one box to another, you always gave yourself a quiet sigh of relief and tried your best to calm your beating heart down. 

Okay, just a few more boxes to go. I can do this—

Instantly, someone came up from behind to cup your mouth with their hands while the other was wrapped around your chest, trying to calm your muffling sounds down. 

“What in God’s mind were you even thinking of stepping foot in this place?”

That voice. It belonged to the person you have been longing to find in the first place. 

“S-Sunwoo,” you muffled as his hands still cupped your mouth. 

At that moment, both of you heard footsteps coming closer to where you were and knew you were about to be cornered. There was no reason for an outsider like you to be present in the biker gang’s territory, and you would pretty much be skinned alive if you were to be found.

Time was ticking, and you needed to think of a way to get out of here undetected. 

But thankfully, it seemed as if Sunwoo had everything under control. 

Or so you thought. 

Just when the few bikers came around the corner, a loud gasp came from them as they witnessed the sight beyond them. Never in a million years would they have caught their boss making out with some random stranger in their base.

“U-Uh, boss? What exactly is going on?” One of the bikers stammered, hoping that the question asked wouldn’t get him into trouble. 

It took a few seconds for Sunwoo to turn his head to look at them with his face looking like a mess as if he had just had a steamy kissing session with whoever he was with, as he was also trying his best to protect your identity by pushing your head down towards the crook of his neck. 

The bikers gulped at the sight, but Sunwoo quickly gave them a plausible answer for now. 

“You see, this little one has gotten some valuable information from us, and I’m just doing a favour to get them cough up whatever shit that they know and to ruin them a little bit for some fun.” He smirked. 

That was enough to shut the bikers up, and then they quickly brushed it off, telling their boss that they would get a quick smoke to loosen up a bit. As they finally walked away and the coast was clear, Sunwoo immediately lifted your head to get you to face him directly. He could tell you were beyond speechless and there was this unreadable emotion on your face. 

Confused? Mad? Upset? Maybe all of it at once. 

But that didn’t stop him from dragging you out of that place as he quickly brought you back into the woods, going through the dark passageway once again until you both ended up back on the road you originally came from. 

That was when you finally freed yourself from his grasp, and you began raising your voice at him, even if you didn’t mean to. 

You didn’t know what you were feeling at this point either; one thing for sure is that you definitely felt overwhelmed by everything that was happening. As much as you tried to open your mouth, the words wouldn’t come straight out. With that, Sunwoo decided to help you finish your sentence instead.

“Admit it, you liked my kiss.” 

Your eyes widened. “What the actual bullshit, Kim Sunwoo.”

“So now you can talk.” 

God, this was starting to get to your head badly, and there was just so much vulgar language that you wanted to throw at the man in front of you. But it seems that Sunwoo was once a step ahead of you. 

“You’re up to no good, princess.” 

“What do you even know, Sunwoo-”

“I have a pretty good guess that you came without telling your brother, or rather, against his orders.” 

You absolutely hated that Sunwoo knew precisely what was going on in your mind and how he could read you perfectly. It was as if you were just plain as day; your discreet movements or actions you’ve tried to keep secret will always be revealed quickly against your own will. 

Eventually, you decided to give in. “Fine. I did.” 

“Now, someone is not being a good sibling, aren’t they? Might have to report back to big brother Jacob, and someone’s going to get some timeout—”

Before Sunwoo could finish his sentence, you quickly stomped towards him and grabbed his collar, seemingly shutting him up for a moment.

“You’re going to tell me everything. Every single detail, Kim Sunwoo.” 

Sunwoo already had a good guess as to why you were here in the first place. You came to find him and took the risk of visiting his hideout written on the piece of paper you found in Jacob’s office. Mentally, he was throwing curses at your brother for not spilling the details because now he was the one who was going to do it instead. 

Jacob Bae, I sincerely hope that your microwave is going to break down so that you will be having cold meals for a period of time and that you will get your ass kicked by your CEO for not having much progress in the missing cases. 

From your not-so-nice friend, Kim Sunwoo. 

As much as you almost exerted this fiery aura, Sunwoo did not flinch in the slightest. He was used to things like this anyway; he was the biker gang’s leader after all. Instead, he grinned back at you.

“You clearly have lost your mind thinking that you can manipulate the biker leader to spill out the deeds for you. It seems that you have not experienced why exactly the public fear about us, Y/N.” 

This time, he slowly takes a step forward little by little, and you slowly begin to back off while your hands remain on the collar of his shirt. 

“Let me tell you a little something, Y/N. The moment when you stepped within our territory, you were just as good as dead meat.” Sunwoo continued. 

Another step forward.

“Do you know why the public fear us, Y/N? We are predators. And predators hunt for prey who messes with us.” 

Another step forward. 

“And you little innocent citizens of Seoul have officially become our prey because no one messes with us. I mean, no one. You have chosen death when you decided even to come close to us.” 

Another step forward. 

“So you might as well say your last words before I devour you up, hmm?” Sunwoo then stops at his track as he leans forward so that both of your faces are mere inches away, and he closes his eyes while giving you the biggest smile you have seen just yet. 

That alone was enough to shake you to your core. 

It was just as portrayed in books and TV shows, on how smiles make the villains ten times worse than they are. When a villain smiles, you drop everything and run for it. 

If only that were what exactly you did. 

You straighten your posture before you spit back at him. “You won’t have the guts to do that to me, Kim Sunwoo.” 

“And what makes you think that, sweetheart?” 

“Because you love me,” you spat. 

Upon hearing those words, the smile immediately fell from his face, and a shocked expression replaced it. Sunwoo quickly backed off and took a few steps back away from you. 

Bingo. 

“N-No, I don’t.” Sunwoo chuckled. 

“Jokes on you, young man; you were literally head over heels for me, that’s why you agreed to babysit me in the first place.” 

You instantly noticed how flushed his face was getting as he quickly cupped both sides of his face with his hands, trying to calm the heat down. But that did not stop you from moving towards him now as you continued taunting him. 

“You know, I think your fellow bikers would be delighted to hear that their boss was in love with a commoner like me, don’t you think? I’m sure the biker community loves to hear romance since you boys have been angsty all year.” 

“No no no! Not the biker community! I’m supposed to be a cool leader everyone looks up to and worship goddamit!” He was now covering his ears like a little child. 

Oh, Kim Sunwoo, you indeed are such a sucker for romance. 

Finally, you took the final steps and stood before him, placing both hands upon his shoulders, and you returned a devilish smile. 

“I think someone’s got a good explanation to do before I feed him to my brother’s hound dogs back at the station.”

“Y/N Bae, I absolutely would love to ruin your makeup right now.” 

“Kim Sunwoo, I absolutely would love to throw you straight into the river right now.” 

After that confrontation on the empty road, you both decided to take this whole conversation elsewhere before any of the bikers made their way out to confront you two again. 

So you hopped back onto Sunwoo’s bike and drove a little to the well-known spot in Seoul, Han River. 

Since Sunwoo had barely recovered from your counterattack before, he was clearly distracted as he droved through the city, constantly putting out this pout and sulky expression on his face, making you want to tease him more. Occasionally, you would purposely snake your hands up to his abdomen to his chest, which made the male squirm and his body tense upon the contact, making him cry out loud, for God’s sake, and somehow apologise throughout the entire ride. 

The moment you both got to the river, Sunwoo immediately asked you to get out of his vehicle while trying to calm his pounding chest down. Unfortunately, you were nowhere near done wrecking the bike leader, so you snaked your arms around him as you dragged him out from his bike, taking them down to one of the stairs facing the river. 

Sunwoo was not in the right mind and was trying his best to counterattack, which at one point he did. But thanks to the taekwondo classes you took back in the day, you quickly turned the tables around.

So now Kim Sunwoo was the one pinned to the ground while you were hovering above him, pinning both his hands above his head while your legs kept his in place, leaving him no room to move around. 

“If only being delusional wasn’t my weakness, I swear Y/N…”

“Tell that to the ones who created you.they were the ones to cast this spell upon you.” 

“What do I get if I tell you the truth?”

You paused for a moment. What were you going to repay him exactly? 

But since you were already keeping up with this facade a couple of hours ago, you might as well continue the seeds that you have planted.

“A kiss from me to you.” 

Upon hearing those words, the male smirked before finally closing his eyes and let loose his body slightly. 

“Fine, Y/N. You win.” 

With that, you also did the same by slowly releasing your grip on his arms, knowing well how he wouldn’t be counterattacking you soon. 

“What I am about to tell you, Y/N… I’m not exactly sure if you’re able to stomach it all, to be honest.” 

“Nothing as bad as the cases that my brother has done, I bet.” 

“Fair. Your brother deals with brutal homicide cases, after all.” 

Sunwoo then propped himself up, and you decided to give him some space by getting off him and sitting crossed-legged at his side. It took Sunwoo a moment to gather his thoughts before finally telling you the whole story. 

“Y/N, did you realise why I dragged you away on that day you met that co-worker of yours?” 

“You meant Kisa?” 

“Did you notice anything strange about her?”

“Well, yeah I kind of did. Her demeanour was setting off many red flags in my mind for sure,” you replied. The thought about Kisa once again made you frown; you have been constantly worrying about her since that day.

“I’ll tell you right now that she is one of the girls who had gone missing for the past couple of months.” 

Missing? Is she related to the missing person cases that your brother was dealing with then? 

“The fact that she has reappeared all of a sudden was strange enough, and luckily, I noticed a barcode tattooed right behind her ear.” 

Barcode? What exactly was going on? 

Sunwoo noticed how perplexed you were with the whole situation and sighed before continuing with his words. 

“Y/N, I think you do know what happens when someone is tattooed with a barcode on different parts of their body, don’t you?” 

No. It can’t be. You knew exactly what it meant, but you wouldn’t have expected it to happen to someone close to you, let alone to one who has suddenly disappeared from your radar, only for them to reappear out of the blue. 

“No, you don’t mean it.” 

“Come on, Y/N. You know exactly how crime works in Seoul, especially in our district; it’s corrupted, and plenty of cases like this go unnoticed because the culprits can often get away undetected.” 

That can’t be true; you absolutely can’t accept the fact that Kisa was a victim of human trafficking. 

You slowly began to stammer in your speech. “S-So, you basically saved my life back there and then.” 

“If you want to put it that way, I guess I did.” 

This time, Sunwoo decided to scooch a little bit closer to you, and the tone in his voice dropped as if he was now whispering what crucial detail he was about to say next. 

“Y/N, why did you think your brother made a deal with me to follow you wherever you go?” 

You decided to break the tension in the air slightly by making a little joke. “I’d like to think it was your idea instead because you have committed to being my stalker.” 

“Calling me a stalker is flat-out rude, Y/N. Especially after all that I have done for you,” he sulked.

You were glad Sunwoo could still joke around with you slightly to ease the tension. 

“Fine, to keep me safe then.” 

“That’s one for sure, but also because we made a pact to crack these cold cases together without the superiors in the station knowing a thing about this.” 

Huh. “So you’re a biker detective now?” 

“Yeah, a very cool one at that too. I saved your life not once but twice. Jacob should give me a pay raise, let’s be honest.” 

“What do you mean you actually suck at your job. You have to have someone’s consent first before you start making out with them, especially in public.” You slightly blushed at that comment. You certainly weren't going to tell him that he took your first kiss away, and you hoped that your surroundings were dark enough so that Sunwoo wasn’t able to see clearly that your ears were beginning to look bright red as a tomato right now.

Unfortunately for you, he was a romance fanatic, so obviously, he could tell that you were embarrassed to say all of that. It was his sign to strike back now.

“Oh honey, that kiss was a little extra from your care package that your brother signed you up for. You should be grateful that you get an extra treatment from me.” He took a string of your hair and started twirling around his fingers. 

“….shut up.” You muttered.

Oh god, how much he was enjoying this whole moment right there.

The next thing that happened was that he moved closer again and cupped both of your cheeks with his hands before leaning his forward against yours. 

“What in the world are you even thinking of doing—”

“Y/N, listen to me closely about what I am about to say next, and I will only say it once.” 

That made all of the embarrassment from earlier die down. Judging from the look in his eyes, you knew things were about to get serious next.

“Another reason why your brother personally asked for me to care for you for the time being was because he knew that something bad was going to happen real soon.” 

“Something bad?” 

“You see, we have been working together on this case for months now. With our thorough investigations, it’s clear that whoever was the mastermind behind all of this may actually be someone we are acquainted with.” 

“Someone much closer to us, that is.”

Your eyes widened upon that last sentence, and you knew this case was far worse than you thought. It was a life-and-death situation if either of you let your guard down. If that was the case, it also meant that you weren’t the only one in danger. 

Bracing yourself, you slowly and reluctantly asked Sunwoo something that you hoped it was just yourself thinking way further ahead than you should. 

“J-Jacob isn't going to die, isn’t he?”

Sunwoo didn’t reply, but he stared straight into your eyes. With that, your eyes became teary, and you were on the verge of crying out silently. You knew that Jacob’s job always evolved around dangerous criminals, and there’s no guarantee that he might come home each day in one piece; he had accepted his fate ever since he took on the badge in the first place. 

But now, with the recent events and how he had placed you under Sunwoo’s care, you knew that this was far worse than any of you had encountered before. 

Tears began dripping down your face, and Sunwoo lightly brushed his fingers against your cheek to wipe them away. 

“Y/N, from now on, I’m afraid you should stay as far away from your brother as possible. In other words, you’ll be stuck with me for now.” 

“That doesn’t mean that I won’t be seeing him anymore, isn’t it?” You sobbed. 

Sunwoo smiled. “Of course not. It is so that both of us can conduct our investigation much more smoothly without outsiders intruding on our plan. I promise you, I won’t let your brother die. That would also mean that the lives of both you siblings are at my outermost top priority now.”

“Why Sunwoo? Why would a biker leader like you even associate with us law enforcement? Didn’t you and your people hate us for decades?”

He chuckled before placing a kiss on the top of your forehead. 

“Jacob Bae saved me and gave me another chance at life. And I am going to return the favour.”

It has been ten minutes since the both of you were back on the road again. You were trying to take in all of Seoul’s beautiful night views, as you might not see them for a while. 

After calming yourself down at Han River, Sunwoo filled you in with everything you needed to know before you both took off back on the road. Based on what your brother and Sunwoo have been able to investigate so far, they decided that it was safe to conclude that the mastermind was either someone within the biker community or one of the higher-ups from the police agency. That was precisely why your brother was in a tight situation and was at risk of falling into the hands of the enemy since he was one of the lieutenants and had no control over his superiors. 

It was precisely why Jacob decided it was best for you to keep a distance from him at the moment, for the fear that you might fall into the hands of the enemy. Hence, giving you to Sunwoo for now would mean that you had a higher chance of survival—being a biker meant that Sunwoo was able to move around much more freely compared to a detective who was bound by rules that he had to abide by at all times. 

In the meantime, Sunwoo has also been on the go trying to figure out who the traitor within the biker’s community was who started all of this. According to the male, he guessed that someone from the detective agency was manipulating and might even be paying the traitor within the biker gang a large sum of money to traffick these young ladies out of the country. Since the bikers usually hunt out late at night, there was no doubt that the victims would have been vulnerable against them and quickly fell into their hands. 

In order to keep you safe, and since Sunwoo has practically told you the entire plan, he has no choice but to bring you along on his investigations; as much as he hated that idea and he would much prefer locking you away somewhere where you could lay down low until the whole crime spree is over. 

However, he knew that you would be much safer if you were within his sight range, and he would feel much more comfortable knowing that you were always near him.

He has learnt it the hard way before anyway. 

As you both ride through the night and out away from Seoul, there is this anxious feeling rotten deep within your gut—you are terrified, knowing now that you have finally fallen victim to the dark, corrupted crime world in Seoul. 

With that, your arms wrapped around Sunwoo’s waist tightened, and you gently laid your cheeks against his back. You just wished this ride with Sunwoo could have happened at a much better time and under better circumstances.

“Damn, Kim Sunwoo. Who knew you’d have a hideout in the middle of nowhere?” 

You were astounded with the entire place. It was located outside of town, and it took the both of you about a two-hour ride to get to this place, which was eventually in the middle of the wilderness. You thought building a simple cabin here was a genius idea because chances of survival were much higher, especially for Sunwoo, who lives a dangerous life each day. 

As Sunwoo guided and led you up to the steps of his front door, he inserted a key and unlocked the front door within seconds, and your jaw dropped the moment he turned on the lights that lit up the entire cabin. 

“Welcome to my safe space, Y/N.” 

Upon further inspection, you could tell that the entire cabin was built meticulously—from the sturdy timber that formed the walls, the simple yet captivating decor that filled the entire place, and the cosy fireplace that stood right at one of the corners of the living space. The entire place just felt comforting; even a stranger would agree when they stepped into this place in the woods. 

Sunwoo noticed you had been slowly moving around the cabin, taking in all its glory. He decided that he wouldn’t be ruining this little moment you have and went straight into the pantry to whip up some hot cocoa for the two of you. 

It all felt too good to be true. You have only seen or read places like this in books or films; never in a million years would you have thought that you would get a chance to reside, let alone step into a place like this at all. It was as if you were living in a dream, and you just wished you could shut off the outside world for a while and relax in this place for as long as possible. 

As you slowly reach the fireplace, you notice how a picture frame sits at the top, depicting a young boy and a girl riding a swing at a park. You could immediately tell how it was Sunwoo in that picture, but you had no idea if the young female was his sibling or, perhaps, his past lover, if he ever had one. 

Before you could examine further, you heard a little thump from behind you, and you turned to see Sunwoo was back with two warm mugs of freshly made hot cocoa topped with whipped cream and marshmallows. He gently placed them onto the round wooden table he had before moving to the fireplace and threw some chopped wood in before lighting it up with the lighter he kept behind his back pocket. 

You slowly sit on the couch to make yourself comfortable, take one of the mugs, and sip the freshly made drink. It didn’t take long for Sunwoo to join you as he sat on the couch on your left.

“I’d like to think I’m such a great host, don’t you think? I expect you to be writing a five-star review of this Airbnb on booking.com after your stay,” he smugged before bringing his mug to his lips. 

“I never knew a biker gang leader like you would have a soft spot for ambience like this.” 

“Hey, bikers aren’t all angsty and dark. You’d think I live for the colour black and own everything in that specific colour?” 

“Don’t look at me like that. Blame the media for painting you guys exactly the way you are.” 

Well, you had a point there. Ever since you met Sunwoo, you realised that not all of them seemed as terrible as the public had painted them to be. Even the biker leader is the same as many young adults: desperate to find love and obsessed with shoujo mangas. 

As you took another sip of the cocoa, you gulped the liquid down slowly before enjoying your little silence, listening to the crackling sound from the fireplace as you slowly started to feel your eyelids become heavy. 

It has been a long day; after all, you started by storming into Jacob’s office at the beginning of the day, trekking through the woods and finding out about the biker’s hideout, going to Han River and eventually here in Sunwoo’s cabin. 

From the corners of your eyes, you could see how it would be early morning now—the first tendrils of light painting the sky in hues of a mixture of lavender and indigo, indicating that it would be dawn now. It was probably about five to six in the morning, and that was the last thing you could think of before you eventually fell to your slumber. 

It took Sunwoo a few seconds to realise you had fallen asleep as he admired the skies from his cabin window just like you were. When he finally turned to look at your head, bending down with your eyes closed, the mug of now warm cocoa still nestled within your grasp. 

Sunwoo smiled at the sight of you resting comfortably like that. It reminded him so much about her. It almost felt bittersweet then, but Sunwoo tried his best to get rid of those feelings before things started to get too deep again.

He slowly got up, gently opened up your fingers surrounding the mug, and took it off your hands to place it on the table. He then swooped his hands around your shoulders and under your legs before picking you up bridal style. Trying his best not to make a noise, he slowly brought you into his only bedroom in the cabin, gently laying you down on the comforts of his bed and tucking you into bed with his cosy duvet. 

When he was about to get up from the bed, he felt something wrapping around his pinky before turning to see that it was from you. He couldn’t tell if you had a dream or if it was just by reflex as you wrapped your fingers around his pinky and tugged them close to you. 

Sunwoo smiled at the sight of you doing so, and he sat down on the bed again, gently caressing your hair as you fell deeper into your dreamland. 

Y/N. I promise I will protect you at all costs and avoid making the same mistake as before.

The chirping noises were what woke you up from your slumber. You squint your eyes as you slowly open them to reveal the sunlight shining directly into the cabin. You also heard clanking noises coming beyond the closed doors, and you decided it was time to get up to check out whatever it was. 

As you opened the door, your eyes widened, and your jaw dropped as you approached the dining table. It seemed as if Sunwoo had made you an entire breakfast meal that looked identical to what you would get from the local diners in town. The man even took the extra step to brew you some hot coffee and placed two little jars filled with white and brown sugar so you could adjust your drink to your desired taste. 

You slowly pulled the chair and sat down before Sunwoo turned around from the stovetop, placing a freshly made fried sunny-side egg onto your plate, and that was when you took in what Sunwoo was wearing before you eventually burst out into laughter. 

“What was that about? I went the extra mile to make you breakfast.” Sunwoo pouted. 

“N-No, it’s not that. I never thought you were a frilly pink floral aprons type of guy.” You had to cover your mouth and fan yourself because you were laughing so hard that breathing was hard by the second. 

“You stop it right there. Someone special made this apron; I will not let you disrespect it.” Sunwoo was now pointing at you with his spatula, threatening that he would take your breakfast and eat it himself. 

As you calmed yourself down and apologised, he finally sat beside you while still sulking because of your comment before and started cutting up his bread and sausages on the plate. When Sunwoo saw that you had taken your first bite, he couldn’t help but make a sarcastic remark to lighten the mood once again.

“Hurry up and tell me that my cooking skills are top-notch.” He lifted his head high as if he was already praising himself before you even said anything. 

Frankly, it tasted much better than what you had in mind. Who would’ve thought the most feared person in town was also a good cook? The fact that he was able to build this cabin on his own, cared for you, and made you a delicious meal was a bummer that he was still single at this point. 

But since you have teased Sunwoo since the beginning, there was no way you would tell him that and continue feeding his delusions. 

“I’m surprised that I did not puke nor have an upset stomach with the initial first bite, to be honest.” 

He narrowed his eyes at you. “You ungrateful little brat.” 

“Thank you, I’ll take that.” You grinned widely at him, making him return you with disgust. 

Surprisingly, breakfast then went by reasonably quickly, and you offered to help clean up the kitchen even when the male insisted that you were his guest and weren’t supposed to do anything while you were there. 

After a little bit of squabbling about cleaning the cabin up, Sunwoo heads out the front door, signalling for you to come with him. 

“There’s this place that I think you’ll love, Y/N. Care to hop on for another ride with me?”

“Kim Sunwoo, give me your keys to your cabin right now I’m officially moving in.” 

He giggled as you said that hurriedly before running down to the designated spot he brought you to. As you hopped back onto Sunwoo’s bike, he took you along for another drive that only took about five minutes away from his cabin. As you both parked the bike somewhere safe, he guided you to take a step deeper into the woods, where, eventually, you both ended up at a beautiful creek.

A crystal-clear stream burbles along the riverbed, bubbling over the surrounding rocks and branches. There were a couple of stepping stones that scattered across the stream, giving whoever chose to visit to have the opportunity to walk across from one end to the other. A couple of flowers blossomed at the sides of the river, giving the creek a little pop of colour. 

It was a sight to behold. Who would have thought that there was such a place near where Sunwoo lived? At this point, you swore that you would label this entire outskirt as paradise, and you wouldn’t mind spending the rest of your life here, away from the capital's bustling streets. 

You slowly made your way to the river, where you stuck one of your hands into the waters, letting the streams of water hit the back of your hand. Sunwoo then made his way towards you before bending down to pick up one of the pebbles on the ground, before tossing it across the waters to see it bounce on top of the surface before eventually sinking into the waters. 

“Is there anything that you can’t do, Kim Sunwoo?” You asked as you saw how he was a master at skipping stones, way better than most people could do. 

“I’ve been doing this for decades, Y/N. Of course, I am the master of stone skipping.” He proudly acclaimed before picking another pebble and tossing it across the waters again. 

You couldn’t help but smile at that remark. “So that means you come here often, then?” 

“Used to.” He corrected you. “I haven’t been here in a very long time.” 

“Well, then, I’m grateful that you decided not to gatekeep such a place from me,” you replied, sincerely thanking the man for taking you out of the cabin to come to such a place to relax.

“You’re going to be staying with me for a while; obviously, I have to keep you occupied before you start complaining out of boredom in the cabin.” He stuck out his tongue at you before tossing another pebble. 

“I’m not a kid, Sunwoo. I know how to keep myself occupied.” This time, it was your turn to give him a pout. 

“I’m gonna bet on 10,000 korean won that you will be screaming out of frustration by the third day if you were stuck all day in that cabin of mine.” 

“Then I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but I can literally find anything to do to keep myself occupied at all places.” You were now standing up and stood right in front of the man, staring at him as if you were going to start a battle of who would be the first to back down from their words. 

Sunwoo smirked at that sight, and it turns him on whenever you get all worked up because of his words. He wasn’t going to back down quickly, so he straightened his posture before firing back at you. 

“Princess, you better buckle up because you have just turned me on, and I want to ruin your ego right now.” 

“Try me then, Kim Sunwoo,” you huffed. 

“Say, can you swim?” 

You snorted. “Of course I can swim, what the hell—”

Before you could even finish your sentence, Sunwoo pushed you on your shoulders, and you fell straight into the waters. It took a few seconds before you eventually returned to the surface, wiping off the excess water dripping down your face. 

“Kim Sunwoo! What the actual—”

You were screaming at the top of your lungs, ready to yell and curse your heart out towards the male before you eventually stopped. Your eyes widened at the sight of him taking off his shirt that he was wearing, revealing a well-toned body and rock-solid abs as well as a tattoo that was situated right above his ribcage on his left. 

He grinned before jumping into the waters and swam right up to you. 

“I knew you would like what you saw with your eyes. I have been waiting for the right time to do it anyway,” he smirked before moving his fingers close to you to pinch your cheeks. 

You quickly slapped his hands away before turning your back towards him, trying to calm your fast heart beating chest down. Instantly, you felt a surge of warmth slowly crawling up to your ears and cheeks, and you quickly rested both your palms on your cheeks, knowing very well that you were now blushing hard.

What is wrong with you, Y/N? 

Before you could even process your thoughts further, you felt a pair of hands resting on your waist before turning your back towards the opposite direction. You have now come face-to-face with the man you were dreading to see, and you quickly turn your head towards the side and face the streaming waters instead. 

You could clearly hear Sunwoo’s low chuckle before he rested his fingers underneath your chin, gently turning your face back towards his direction. 

“I found your weakness, princess.”

“Shut up.” 

Your now red-flushed face was making Sunwoo laugh while you were slowly losing your mind. All you could think of at the moment was how exactly you would get yourself out of this situation you were in. 

Suddenly, you were brought back to reality as you felt Sunwoo’s thumb swipe past your lips slowly, his eyes now focusing on your smudged lips as if he was hungry for it, wanting so desperately to press his lips onto them as he slowly leaned down towards them.

Oh no. Oh no. 

You started to panic; you had no idea what you were supposed to do. Sure, it wasn’t the first time you kissed Sunwoo, but your situation was much more different than the first. 

Brace yourselves, Y/N. Just do it. 

That was all that you could think of before closing your eyes tightly. It was now or never, and you surely have no escape. As you slowly waited for his warm, plump lips to land on yours again, it never came as you expected. When you slowly opened your eyelids, you saw Sunwoo paused exactly an inch before both lips met. 

Was he in a dilemma? Whether he should do it or not? 

In the end, Sunwoo broke off the tension and gave in to wrap his arms around you instead, giving you a tight hug as he rested his head under the crook of your neck. 

What was going on? 

“S-Sunwoo…what are you—”

“Let me just stay like this for a while, Y/N.”

As he took in a couple of seconds to relax his body over yours, you slowly snaked your arms around his back and caressed his back slowly, as if that was the right thing that you thought you could do at the moment.

With your touch, he tugged you tighter before eventually speaking his first words since he turned you around to face him. 

“Thank you, Y/N, for trusting me. I promise that I won’t let you down. We’ll catch whoever this mastermind is and place him behind bars for good.” 

You felt reassured, knowing that you will be in good hands for now before reuniting with your brother once the cases have been resolved. 

“Thank you too, Sunwoo, for looking out for me and making me feel safe.” 

“You slept in an upright position on the couch throughout the whole night?” You questioned the male, thinking that you might have heard something wrong. 

“For the hundredth time, yes I did, Y/N Bae. I have no idea why you are making such a big fuss out of this,” Sunwoo rubbed the back of his neck as he closed his eyes in annoyance as if he was tired of going through this whole topic with you again. 

“Well then, I suggest we swap for tonight then. It’s not fair that you have to make yourself suffer especially when you’re the owner of this cabin,” you stated clearly. 

“Have you ever heard of hospitality, Y/N? There’s no way I’m letting my guests sleep uncomfortably while they’re here. I might get a rotten review on booking.com the next day, that’s for sure.” 

However, you weren’t backing down so quickly. “Fine then. Why don't we share the bed for tonight, then?” 

That question made Sunwoo spit out the glass of water that he was drinking. He had to cough a few times to ensure the liquid flowed smoothly into his throat. 

“Are you insane? There’s no way I’m sleeping with someone that’s the opposite sex,” he muttered as he continued to pound his chest while seemingly trying to stop the cough.

“Well unfortunately, I insist. I would drag you onto the bed myself if I had to. It’s not like I’m asking you to try anything funny; if you are, you wouldn’t be seeing the light of day anyways,” you stated clearly before pointing into the bedroom.

Sunwoo could only let out a deep sigh before caving into your words, knowing that if you both went on and on about this, the sun would rise before any of you would get a proper good night's rest. 

As you both cleaned up and got ready for bed, Sunwoo watched as you climbed into the sheets and got yourself comfy before turning towards your left to sleep on your side and face the cabin wall. When he sees that you have stopped squirming, he gently lifts the sheets before doing the same, but facing towards his right so that he is facing the door instead. 

It took him a while to fall asleep, unlike you, who fell into a deep slumber within seconds. He was not used to this after all, having to share a bed with someone; it has been a long time since he has done so, especially when the last person he did this was years ago with her. 

Additionally, what happened down at the creek earlier in the day? Sunwoo had no idea why exactly he decided to do what he did, and eventually, he couldn’t bring himself to plant a kiss on your lips and went in for a hug instead. 

Deep down, Sunwoo knew something was happening between you two, but he was afraid to commit or even think about the possibilities. After what happened years ago, he promised that he wouldn’t get too close to anyone unless they were the ones who saved his life big time; in this case, it was your brother, Jacob. 

But now, it seems that Jacob’s little sibling was also slowly marking a spot in that enclosed heart of his. 

Before Sunwoo could even think of anything further, Sunwoo slowly drifted off into his own dreamland and fell into a deep sleep like you did. 

Hours had passed, and you both were sleeping peacefully until Sunwoo began hearing voices in his head. 

Big brother…big brother…please save me… save me from all of this…please don’t let them take me away…

Big brother…Sunwoo…SUNWOO OPPA!!

Immediately, Sunwoo shot up from his deep slumber and broke out in sweats. Sure, it wasn’t out of the ordinary for him to get nightmares from the past; it was something he was still working on anyway. But it has been a long time since he had the exact scenario played in his mind; it was a curse to him now. 

Sunwoo then brought up his fingers to rub his temples, trying his best to calm himself down without waking you, who was still peacefully sleeping on the side. 

All of a sudden, Sunwoo’s phone lit up from the nightstand, and he grabbed it lazily while rubbing his eyes to adjust his vision so that he could see clearly what exactly the notification that he had just gotten.

It was as if the nightmare wasn’t enough to ruin his night; the notification was far worse than whatever he had just dreamt of. 

Something that he dreaded would even occur at all throughout this whole investigation process. 

Jacob Bae: This will be the last time I will be able to contact you for now. Please keep Y/N safe at all costs, and we’ll be in touch as soon as I can.

Jacob’s POV

It had been two days since you had left the building without Jacob’s permission. Unfortunately, the meeting lasted way longer than expected, five hours to be exact. Hence, by the time he got back into his dark office where the only source of light was the one ray of moonlight shining through the windows, his heart dropped when he noticed how you were nowhere to be seen. 

Frantically, he skimmed through his entire office to see if you had left any clues behind, for the fear that you had been kidnapped, especially since you were considered to be vulnerable in the mastermind’s eyes, and how both Jacob and Sunwoo suspected that it could be someone from the biker gang or the law enforcement themselves. 

After minutes of scouring the entire room, he eventually made his way to his cabinet beneath his desk, where he could tell that one of them was pulled open and the little note that he stuck out slightly on purpose every time was gone. 

With that, he knew it could only mean one thing: you found the details of Sunwoo’s biker gang’s hideout and went there personally to confront the biker leader himself. Swiftly, he took his phone out before hastily sending Sunwoo a text. 

Jacob Bae: My sibling is headed towards your biker’s hideout. Please get there and make sure Y/N is safe at all costs. 

The moment he saw that Sunwoo had read his message, he finally fell back onto his chair, letting out a deep sigh of relief. As much as he was afraid that you had ventured into the predators' lair, he knew that as long as you were with Sunwoo, you would be safe from any harm or danger, even if he was the biker gang leader himself. 

Hence, while you were under Sunwoo’s care for the time being, Jacob was able to focus on his job and tried cracking all of the clues and codes he had received so far for the missing person’s cases, all while he tried his best maintaining contact with Sunwoo to keep each other updated on the case as well as your safety through texting one another. 

Things were going fairly smoothly until another missing person’s case was reported to the station just the night before. When he got to the registered location along with his subordinates, his stomach sank when he realised who had gone missing: your neighbour. 

Jacob began to panic as it only meant one thing: there was a high possibility that you would be the next target. 

Since that day, Jacob had worked tirelessly for hours without sleep or proper food. Your life is at stake right now, and he was determined that he was done playing this cat-and-mouse game with the mastermind. With that, Jacob tried searching for as many clues as possible, even the tiniest detail possible, and he went back to the crime scene himself to thoroughly search through the area once again on his own. 

As if it was a miracle, he eventually discovered a strand of hair near one of the flowerpots on your neighbour’s front porch. He quickly took the evidence he had found and ran straight back towards the lab to get the designated ones in charge to do a quick DNA test from the database to find out who it might be.

After hours of extracting the possible information, it had been concluded that it was impossible to narrow it down to a single person as too many chemicals were found on that single strand of hair follicle. But that did not stop Jacob from finding the exact match for who it might be. 

Hence, Jacob went through all of the case files once again, starting from the first case to the most recent, as he laid all of the details out onto his board in his office, writing down all of the necessary information paired along with red strings to help him connect the dots better. He was also going back and forth towards his desktop located on his desk, trying his best to find the right person from the database.

That was when he realised he had limited access to the station’s database. He had never had such issues before, so why had he been blocked? 

At that moment, he knew that his instinct was right and that the law enforcement was hiding something dark from the detectives themselves; perhaps that was why they had an excruciating time trying to gather practically limited information.

Unfortunately for the mastermind who did all of this, Jacob was actually an expert in computer hacking. Before being promoted to lieutenant, he was a renowned hacker in his division before rising to where he is now. The codes were a little harder to crack, but that doesn't mean it was nearly impossible. 

It took Jacob about ten minutes to finally hack into the actual database, and he wasted no time trying to match the hair follicle to a concrete DNA from the database itself. Once the system concluded that there was a match, he wasted no time clicking the download button to get the information down and reveal who it was.

Sadly, he wasn’t able to record down who it was as one of the detectives came barging into his office, pointing his loaded gun at him. Jacob was cornered, and he couldn’t do anything before the detective came over to completely shut off his desktop by pulling out the cords. Instantly, he shoved his gun towards Jacob’s back and guided him out of his office, guiding him to the actual mastermind of this whole crime spree. 

Before this happened, Jacob had typed out a message scheduled to be sent to Sunwoo if anything were to happen to him. It turns out his instinct was right, and he was slowly counting down the seconds in his heart before the time was up, and he felt his mobile vibrate in his back pocket, signalling that the message had been sent. 

As he stepped into the elevator with the detective, still pointing his gun at his back, he turned around before smiling. 

It’s up to you now, Sunwoo.

Sunwoo’s POV 

“Report what exactly you have found so far, lads.” 

“Certainly, boss!” The young man cleared his throat before setting up the live footage on the laptop and turning it towards his boss’s directions. “It was pretty faint, but you could see the unknown person in the camera drugging the female worker before bagging her up and dragging her body away and out from the factory.” 

Sunwoo narrowed his eyes as he leaned forward to try his best to make out who was on the screen, but since the crime occurred late at night. There wasn’t enough light penetrating through the facility; it was merely impossible to identify clearly who the hooded criminal was. 

But Sunwoo wouldn’t give up quickly, so he leaned backwards on his chair before clasping his hands and bringing them close to his face. 

“Judging from the victims from the recent cases, it seemed as if they have been targeting this specific factory more often as of late. There has to be a pattern going on here,” Sunwoo suggested. 

Upon hearing those words from the biker’s leader, the gang member scratched his head before responding. “With that, boss, what are you trying to propose…?” 

“I’m saying that they will strike there again, that’s for sure.” 

“O-Oh, of course! Well, I will go get the rest of the lads ready—”

“No, you stay put till I give you boys further instructions,” Sunwoo firmly decided. 

“B-But, boss, what are you planning to do?”

“I’m going to check the place on my own first before letting any of you step in there. I’m not going to risk all of your lives like that.” 

The young lad knew how dangerous the whole situation was at hand. Quite frankly, he was one of the lads who often kept Sunwoo updated with all of the security footage that was happening around town since he was one of the bikers who had a talent for hacking into all of Seoul’s security systems without having the law enforcement notice his doing, of course. 

But he knew that the boss was risking his own life by heading towards the location alone. In the worst-case scenario, Sunwoo could even get seriously injured or worse. But he knew that Sunwoo’s words were absolute, and no one had ever been able to change his mind once he made a decision. 

With that, the hacker placed his hands together in front of him, slightly bending his head down before obeying Sunwoo’s orders. “Very well, boss. We will await your next instructions then.”

As Sunwoo picked up his speed and rode his bike back to the cabin, the only thing that lingered in his mind was how he would explain the change of plans to you. He would’ve never thought that he might have to intervene and head towards the location himself to gather information this soon, or rather, he was hoping that Jacob could do it since he was a detective, after all. 

But now that Jacob is out of reach, Sunwoo had no choice but to take up the job to prevent anyone, especially his comrades, from getting hurt or potentially losing their lives in that targetted location without getting a green flag from someone higher up first. 

Another reason that he was a bit stressed out about the current situation was that it was time for him to talk to you about it; it was time for you both to make a move, and he knew that he couldn’t keep you in the dark forever, as much as he just wanted to tuck you away in this cabin of his and just stayed put and safe there while he and your brother resolved all of this messed up crime spree that was happening in the district. 

It was also because that was the exact factory that you worked at. That could only mean that the chances that you may or may not be the next target were higher than they had expected. 

After those train of thoughts, he finally arrived back at the cabin, and he tried his best to maintain his composure before turning the doorknob to open up the doors and calling out loud for you. 

That was only until you didn’t respond that he began to panic. 

“Y/N? Y/N, are you there?”

Sunwoo tried his best to maintain his calm while going from room to room, calling out for you. When he had finally searched the entire cabin and that you were nowhere to be found, that was when he felt a sink in his stomach, and he was about to go insane any moment now. 

He was now screaming at the top of his lungs for you while running around frantically, even as he stepped out of the cabin and walked down the steps to circle the woods nearby. 

“Y/N! Y/N! Please respond to me! Where are you?!”

His heartbeat was pounding much louder and faster with each second, and he was close to shitting his pants at the moment. An instant regret filled his guts, and he wished he could’ve turned by time so that it would’ve knocked some sense into him that he shouldn’t have left you alone in the cabin, especially when both of your lives were at stake. 

He wasn’t going to repeat the same mistake as he had done before. There was no way he would let history repeat itself, not under his watch.

Y/N! Y/N! WHERE ARE YOU!!!!

Suddenly, he heard a faint grunt from a distance, a little bit towards his left. An unexpected fog clouded the air, making it hard for him to see whoever was slowly coming in his direction. 

With his instinct, Sunwoo quickly pulled out his handgun that he tucked away beneath his leather jacket, quickly loaded the gun and aimed it towards the shadow approaching him. 

Just as he was about to pull the trigger, the shadow emerged from the fog, and that was when he finally made out that it was the person he had been longing to find. 

“Sunwoo! You’re back!” You smiled while carrying a box filled with freshly picked fruits in your arms. 

Sunwoo then slowly lowered down the gun and stared at you blankly. To ease the tension and awkwardness, you decided to speak up whatever was on your mind for now.

“O-Oh! Sorry, I know I should’ve stayed put, but like I said, I know how to keep myself occupied. I decided to go for a little walk around, and that’s when I saw this little peach tree growing near the little creak you brought me to the other day. I just so remembered this one peach dessert I used to make when I was a kid, and I thought we could use some desserts—”

Before you could finish your sentence, Sunwoo wrapped his arms around you tightly, making you drop the box of fruits towards the ground. You were stunned by his sudden actions as he said nothing, and you could hear him sobbing for once as he buried his neck into the crook of your neck. 

Sunwoo knew that things were starting to get into his head, and he needed to tell you the truth now, especially with the events that have happened within the past 24 hours, and how he needed to tell you about his recent findings. 

And also about the nightmare he had last night.

There was no point in hiding anymore. Eventually, you would have to know anyways.

Y/N’s POV

“You look like a stray raccoon, Mr Kim,” you teased half-jokingly, but the other half was also concerned about his appearance. It was how he sat across from you, slumped onto his couch, and looked defeated. It was obvious that something had been bothering him, especially when you knew he had a nightmare last night, but you weren’t going to say anything unless he would tell you all about it himself. 

But given the current situation, the way he looked for you so frantically, and hell, even aimed a gun at you (not on purpose, of course), something has gone wrong, and you needed to know. 

You gently stood up and walked over to sit cross-legged on the ground, gently placing one of your hands onto his that was resting on his thigh, slowly caressing them to help ease the frown on his face. 

“Sunwoo, talk to me about it. I promise your secrets are safe with me,” you gently reassured him, hoping he would finally speak out about whatever had been hindering his mind since the day before. 

With that, he slowly opened his eyes to look down at you; he could tell that you were desperate to get answers, and this time, you wouldn’t take a single loophole in your books. Slowly, he sat back up and leaned forward as he stared at you, giving you his full attention.

“There have been some major updates in the missing person cases, Y/N.” 

“Okay, so we’ll go from there—”

“But before that, I think you need to know about my past, especially why I said your brother has given me another chance in life and why I took on this offer in the first place.” 

You gulped upon hearing that. It was finally time for you to know precisely what the pact they made behind your back was, and you could finally learn more about Sunwoo and your brother's secret life. 

“Remember when you walked into my cabin on the first day? You went straight ahead to the fireplace and had a little good look at the picture frame situated above it?”

“Y-Yeah? Was that your childhood friend or something?” 

“That was…” He paused for a moment before finishing up his sentence. “My little sister.” 

Now, that was something new to you. Nobody has ever heard that the biker gang leader would have a younger sibling or sibling. Most people have assumed that he had only been an only child and was probably abandoned from a young age due to his upbringing and reputation in the district. 

But Sunwoo was here to tell you the truth and to turn those assumptions down. “Regardless of how the public sees who I am, I had a pretty happy childhood. We were a family of four; our days were filled with happiness as we resided in a small village out of town. It wasn’t until my father received a promotion at his job that he decided to bring all of us up to Seoul, hoping for a better life.” 

Sunwoo cleared his throat before he continued with his story. “It was a miracle when my father came home one day telling us he was offered a job at the local police station; neither of us could’ve believed it then. It started off simple: he was just an ordinary security guard at the huge facility until he showed his superiors that he was far more capable than that, and he eventually rose to the ranks of becoming an actual detective.” 

“In other words, your father was my brother’s senior then,” you added, making Sunwoo return to you with a smile.

“Precisely. Years passed, and my sister followed his footsteps, eventually joining the academy and becoming a rookie detective under my father’s supervision. Meanwhile, I’ve decided to stay back and help my mother at her local pastry shop down the road from the station since she needed some assistance anyway. At the same time, I started building this wooden cabin, with the thought of creating a little place where we family could escape to during our free time.” 

You scooched closer, and your hands around his tightened slightly, trying to find the right words to ask the main question. “W-What happened then?” 

His eyes immediately fell to the floor, and his tone suddenly went down an octave, indicating that whatever he would say next would be pretty heavy to register. “My father was sent abroad on a mission, but he unfortunately lost his life in the line. Upon hearing that, my mother died with a broken heart.” 

“Sunwoo, my deepest condolences…” you mumbled. 

“You want to know what’s even crazier, Y/N? That wasn’t the worst thing I’ve ever had to go through. It was my sister.” 

You could see that his eyes began to water, and he was trying his best to hold back any outburst of emotions that he might have. Naturally, his hands found yours and held them tight, and you return the favour by placing another hand of yours on top of his. 

“There’s only a sole purpose for me in joining the biker gang: to keep my family safe.”

“In what way, Sunwoo?” You questioned, not really linking on how a biker member could help the detectives when both occupations are the total opposite. 

“I’m pretty sure you know by now about how dark and corrupted the crimes in Seoul are behind the scenes, and there are certain places that are off-limits no matter how far up the ranks you are.” 

“So that’s when you come in then.” 

“Exactly. Even if it’s the smallest thing I can do for them, I would take it.”

“Huh. Very contradicting to your biker image that the public is aware of.” 

“Hey, I need to look good for everyone okay. You never know. I’m pretty sure I have a fanbase somewhere in town admiring my good looks,” he smugged while lifting his head up high. You were glad he could still joke around and was still the Sunwoo you had known despite all the recent hardships. 

“God, I hope your fanbase will have enough to fund themselves. Supporting someone when they do not get anything in return is sad.” 

Sunwoo was annoyed at your teasing and immediately pinched your cheeks and pulled them slightly. “You take that back, I will have you know that I am one of the most good-looking people the district has ever seen in years.” 

“I will have you know that you are wrong because my brother Jacob is a hundred times better than you!” You spat back while holding the hand, almost breaking your cheeks apart. 

The pinching then slowly died down as Sunwoo slowly regained his composure. “Speaking about Jacob, that’s where the next story comes in.”  

As Sunwoo slowly pulled his hand away, you cupped that side of your cheek with your hands, mentally cursing the guy and saying that you would surely get back to him once this whole storytelling session was over. 

“I’m sure you are aware of the infamous case that one of the detectives from the station was the mastermind behind a series of kidnapping cases that happened in our district five years ago?” 

Oh, that. 

It was one of the cases that truly shook the nation down to its core; who would’ve thought that one of the detectives, especially from the elite squad, would have been monitoring and kidnapping young children around the area? What was more unpleasant about the case was that he had a few subordinates to help fulfill his fantasies, and they so happened to be a handful of the detectives themselves as well; some even used to be close buddies with your brother. 

It truly was a traumatising event that happened in your district’s history, and nobody wished such a case would ever happen again. 

“Y-Yeah…it was something my brother wished he could erase from his memory for good. It has impacted him in the worst way possible. Frankly, I wouldn’t want to see him go through such times ever again,” you commented. 

“Well, Y/N. I feel the same way, too. Just like how badly it has played a part in your brother’s life, it also did for me.” 

“How exactly did you even drag yourself into the situation?” 

He sighed. “Not by my own will, Y/N. It was because of my sister,” he squeezed your hands, and he chose his words carefully next, perhaps needing a bit of your strength to finally touch on the topic he has been avoiding for the longest time. 

“My sister was part of the cold case squad at the time, and it just so happened that she was the only female detective in the team. She would work tirelessly day and night, trying her best to dig through each possible available data, even the ones that were off-limits to most detectives. Little did she know that the mastermind himself was closely monitoring every movement that she had made, and she became a victim herself.” 

“Sunwoo…” you slowly caressed his hand, wanting to take him into your embrace right now. 

“Fast forward to the day when she finally emerged from the shadows, Jacob and I found ourselves in a standoff against the mastermind, holding my sister hostage on the rooftops of the police station. And god, Y/N. No words could describe how I felt the moment I laid my eyes upon my sister then, of how dishevelled and disoriented she had become.” 

A single tear drop fell from the corners of his eyes unto your hands, and your heart broke at that sight. Sunwoo had always portrayed how tough he was as if nothing in this world could ruin him to the point of breaking down, at least not in front of someone. He must’ve carried on this trauma for a long time, one that would continue to haunt him for the rest of his life. 

“Your brother did not have the guts to shoot at his supervisor, so I did the favour for him instead. The bullet penetrated through his skull, and it was an instant death for him. My sister then lay on the ground, screaming at the top of her lungs, pushing and kicking everyone that came close to her. Not even I could do anything to help save her then,” he sobbed and choked on his own words. 

“So, my brother came to your rescue then?” You quietly asked. 

He sniffled. “He did. Killing a police officer is a huge crime, and naturally, I was placed behind bars. But your brother fought relentlessly, and I was pardoned and eventually released from prison.” 

“That’s my brother for you.” You smiled, thankful he was still the same brother you had grown to love and admire despite the recent events between you two. 

“But it came with a price, Y/N.” 

“And what was it?” 

“In return for getting me out of prison, Jacob would take my sister’s wellbeing into his own hands. So he placed her under a facility that would care and possibly help her recover, but I was not to know about the location and to ever meet with her ever again.” 

Your heart sank upon hearing that. It would kill you to know that you have to be separated from your sibling for good, and you don’t think you could ever live the same way as you’ve done before knowing that. 

Immediately, you jumped into Sunwoo’s arms, giving him a tight embrace while tears streamed down your face. 

“I’m so sorry, Sunwoo. I’m so sorry that we detectives have failed you. We should’ve been the ones protecting the civilians, not breaking them apart physically and mentally.” You sunk your cheek into his neck; you wished there was something that you could’ve done to ease his pain or even bring his only happiness back to him. 

Sunwoo said nothing but return the embrace to you. He did the same by resting his chin upon your shoulders, slowly moving to the point you felt his lips slightly brushed against your neck as he took in all of your scent. 

Neither of you said anything for at least a good ten minutes, and you both were fine staying that way. You knew that it had taken a massive leap of faith for Sunwoo to address his biggest and darkest nightmare finally, and you were grateful that he had decided to trust you enough to talk to you about all of this. 

Eventually, you found yourselves both snuggled on the couch, just admiring the fireplace while cuddling one another. Sunwoo lay gently on your chest while you constantly ran your fingers through his soft black hair, making him slowly drift off into dreamland. It was obvious that Sunwoo hadn’t had the best of sleep lately because he easily slept within your arms for a couple of hours, not to be awakened so easily. 

And that was fine by you. You have begun to feel that you both were more than just acquaintances. However, you weren’t sure if Sunwoo returned the same feelings for you, but your subconsciousness tells you that whatever happened back at the creek, he must’ve felt something, too. It doesn’t matter if it was the same way as you did; you were more than glad that you had found a place within him.

As you slowly admired his sleeping face, you were now more than determined to put an end to this nightmare the district had been struggling with for months. 

This time, let me return the favour, Sunwoo. 

The strong wind was constantly hitting your face as you grabbed Sunwoo tightly while he sped on his bike. It had been a few days since, and you finally had Sunwoo to fill you in with the latest news he had when he finally regained himself. 

To say that you were beyond shock was an understatement when you found out that the mastermind was targeting the young ladies at the factory you worked at, and that was how Kisa disappeared and became a pawn in their twisted games. 

But that also meant one thing: you’re the next target, and they have had their eyes on you for a while now. 

You were terrified, that was for sure, but you decided that you wouldn’t tell them to do as they please anymore. As long as you both stick together, you know that you will crack the case open and put a stop to this spree of kidnappings. 

It’s all for the victims and Jacob.

Even for you, Kim Sunwoo. 

As you finally made your way towards the factory, you quickly armed yourselves before stepping into the facility, all while Sunwoo held you close next to him.

It was eerily quiet, and no sign of a human being was in sight. It was unusual how abnormal the whole situation felt; it was as if the entire building had been abandoned. 

Or was it?

In the distance, you quietly alerted Sunwoo of how a faint light had caught your attention, and you could tell it had led to the systems room. Someone was in there, and you have a good guess that they might have been using the building to communicate for a while now. 

Giving each other a nod, you both slowly crept towards the room; that was when you felt a metal object pressed onto your skull. You finally came to a halt while Sunwoo slowly disappeared down the hallway, not noticing that you had left his side.

“Now that’s a good little kitten, don’t you think? You have saved me the trouble of looking for you, Y/N Bae.” 

God, he knew your name. 

You chuckled. “What do you want from us? What do you possibly gain from kidnapping these young ladies?” 

“Oh sweetheart, don’t you know that money is everything in this day and age? Given how we have lived in poverty for so long, it wouldn’t hurt to earn that extra cash and big bucks, no matter how dangerous the situation can be, don’t you think?” 

“You have no sense of morals, then. Treating these young ladies as objects and pawns to your games,” you fired back. 

The man then slowly pushed the metal object that was situated on your skull further deeper as he slowly loaded it, to which you knew that you were now held at gunpoint. 

“Now sweetheart, let me tell you a little something about us. We are predators, and we hunt for prey like you.” 

Now, this seems awfully familiar. 

“I’m afraid that once predators have gotten our eyes on a target, we will not let them go that easily. We are slowly going to devour you up, leaving no traces behind. If you think you could stop us, then I’m afraid you’re wrong, princess. We’re experts in our field of work; we are not to be found that easily even if you were the best of the best detectives in town because that is our nature.” 

That phrase, it’s similar to Sunwoo’s—

“Never in a million years would I have known that you’ve stooped so low, Seunghak.” 

That voice! 

Immediately, the both of you noticed how a badly beaten up individual was thrown in front of you, and your eyes widened upon what you have seen. Slowly, an individual emerged from the shadows, and it was Sunwoo, walking towards you both while aiming the gun at the person behind you.

“Why, hello, dear boss. Or should I say, former boss,” he taunted, smacking his lips as if things had just gotten far more interesting now. 

“Damn, Seunghak. I didn’t know you were the type to switch lanes that quickly. It seems like the biker life wasn’t good enough for you, then,” Sunwoo smiled dauntingly, and you gulped upon that sight. He was back to being the biker gang leader that the entire district was afraid of; you could even tell how the man behind you flinched a little as he began to shiver slightly with the gun still placed on your skull. 

“Can you blame me, though? When you get a plate full of gold in front of you, I’ll do whatever it takes if that means I will have more than enough to spend the rest of my life at ease,” he fired back while beginning to laugh menacingly.

“Besides, what do we do with these ladies in captivity? Oh god, I have been having the best of my life rather than being stuck in the biker's den.”

Instantly, Sunwoo's face darkened upon hearing what Seunghak said, and you could feel as if he was shooting daggers through his eyes at his former comrade.

“You are absolutely sick in the head.” 

“And what if I am? I am living the best life possible, and there’s nothing you can do to convince me to return!” He screamed before pushing the gun to the point that you felt that the metal was going to pierce through your skull any moment now. 

Slowly, Sunwoo started taking a few steps closer while he elicited a low chuckle. “You think you have a place left in my biker gang? You are much better off dead rather than coming back, Seunghak.” 

Immediately, a loud clatter was heard coming from both sides, accompanied by a volume of grunts, before the male began panicking. 

“W-What’s going on?” 

Finally, Sunwoo stopped right merely inched away from you both, and he aimed the gun towards his former comrade’s face. 

“If you think I’ve come unprepared, then that means you are a hundred years too early even to accept the dirty ass pot of gold that was placed so easily in front of your plate.”

Instantly, Sunwoo pulled the trigger, and the bullet penetrated the man’s abdomen, causing him to let out an ear-splitting scream as he tumbled and fell onto the ground, pressing onto his wound to ease the bleeding. 

Unfortunately, Sunwoo wasn’t going to let him off so quickly, as he fired another bullet into his arms, causing the male to lay down helplessly. At the same time, Sunwoo hovered above him, resting his gun upon Seunghak’s cheeks. 

“You’re going to be a dear and tell me who exactly employed you and your boys before I shoot another bullet into your skull, which would kill you off instantly, young man.”

It seemed that the male wouldn’t give up easily as he spat back onto Sunwoo’s face. 

“As if I would tell you easily who is the mastermind behind all of this…no matter what happens to us…not of us are going to tell a single soul about it…our lips are sealed shut—”

A loud bang was heard throughout the entire facility, and you slowly opened your eyes to see that the male was long gone now, having a bullet penetrated his skull. 

Sunwoo slowly got up from the male, dusting his knees while he was at it. 

“You scumbags have no reason to live in this world then.” 

As he turned to face you again, you couldn’t help but slowly take a few steps back, as if you weren’t sure if you would want to deal with the current state Sunwoo was in. Sure, you trusted him, but it was truly the first time you had seen him like this.

Far worse than how he confronted you back at his base. 

This was the true so-called “devil” that people were terrified of, and this was what Sunwoo was truly capable of. 

Sunwoo didn’t say a word as he walked towards you before muttering a few words. 

“Let’s get going and continue to search the place for clues.” 

“O-Okay…” you replied. 

As you both made your way down past the hallways, Sunwoo occasionally stopped giving his subordinates further orders or even asking about the current situation throughout the facility. He had given them instructions way beforehand, and the whole place was now under the bikers' control. 

Since you knew it probably wouldn’t be a good time to disturb nor provoke Sunwoo in his current state, you figured it would’ve been a good time to check out the control room situated just a little bit towards your right. 

You slowly turned your head to see that Sunwoo was engaged in the conversation before you slowly crept away and headed straight towards the room while leaving the door open so that that was an indirect way of letting him know that you were here and doing fine on your own. 

You quickly took in the sight upon you as you took in the dozens of computer screens that hovered above you and how multiple files and USB drives were plugged into the systems, meaning that whoever was here before had been lurking in this place for a while. 

Since your brother was an expert hacker, you naturally followed his footsteps as you got him to teach you all about computers when you were young. In other words, you could consider yourself a little computer geek, and you knew your way around the codes and the systems. 

As you sat down on the chair and began typing away, you could easily hack into the system to find out the dozens of confidential information stored there. Sure enough, you were able to dig through the files and find valuable information about the kidnappings—who the victims were, their way of communication to pass around information, and who was the sole mastermind that commanded Seunghak and his team. 

However, it seemed that it wouldn’t be as easy to determine who exactly was the accurate mastermind as they used an untraceable ID and alias; or rather, they actually communicated through ciphertexts. 

You mentally cursed at yourself for not taking an interest in this particular method of communication back then when your brother taught you briefly. You have always brushed it off, saying you were not made to understand this specific method and always preferred a more accessible way out. 

You were then back to square one again. To find out who was behind that so-called alias and ID, you needed to crack the algorithm and ciphertext to move on. 

Just as all hope is lost, a new message suddenly appears on the screen, and you squint your eyes as you try to read what exactly it holds. When you finally understood what was written, your eyes widened, leaving you stunned for a minute. 

This…this is—

“Y/N!!! GET OUT OF THERE!!!”

Before you were able to make sense of the whole situation, Sunwoo immediately jumped in front of you before you eventually heard a gunshot resonate in the air and eventually a siren followed as you tried your best to catch hold of Sunwoo in your arms, followed by a swarm of bikers filling the control room.

Sunwoo had no idea how long he had been passed out since then, and he was slowly trying his best to open up his eyelids tightly glued shut together as the light shone through his vision. 

When he finally did, he realised that he was back in this cabin and was lying down on the couch he tried his best to sit up before he felt an excruciating pain that sent shockwaves throughout his whole body.

“I wouldn’t move if I were you.” 

Sunwoo jerked his head to the side to see that you had returned with a first aid box and a bowl of water with a cloth draped before you slowly sat on the couch with him. You took the fabric into your hands before dipping it into the bowl of water, squeezing off the excess liquid before you started wiping off any dirt or blood that was left on his bare chest. 

Neither of you said a word, or rather, none of you knew the right words to say at the moment. Sunwoo noticed how red and puffy your eyes were, and he knew immediately that you must’ve been crying for god knows how long. 

He definitely felt partly guilty for that, but another part of him didn’t know why he did just that, jumping in front of you to save you from the henchmen instead of taking him out with his gun from behind. 

His thoughts were a mess; he no longer knew what he felt. As he quietly observed the way you took care of him, his heart began to ache, and he couldn’t help but gently place one of his hands on your cheeks, rubbing the little area where he saw that there was a slit mark; you probably have gotten injured yourself while he was out. 

That gesture stopped you as you lifted your head to look at him straight in the eyes. Unlike back at the factory, his eyes were filled with mystery again, not the dark, scary one he portrayed as the biker’s gang leader. It felt as if the scene back during the creak was repeating itself. 

“S-Sunwoo…I…” you stammered before you eventually felt his soft lips against yours. 

The kiss was gentle and bittersweet, and Sunwoo did not hesitate to slowly move his lips against yours, showering you with plenty of kisses and savouring the taste of your lips. Your body immediately shut down from that, and you finally eased yourself to return the favour, moving yours against his as you both kissed each other breathlessly. 

His kiss sent shockwaves to your entire body, making you want this moment to last for as long as possible. He gently lifted your face slightly with the hand resting on your cheek, intending to kiss you deeper. That was when you decided to close your eyes and let him take full control of the situation. 

As you both finally broke apart to take a few deep breaths, Sunwoo rested his forehead against yours, just like he did before at the creak. 

It was time, you figured, to finally ask him what you both truly are. 

“Sunwoo…what…what made you finally do it?” You panted. 

He paused briefly before giving you an answer you did not expect. “Do I have you say more than that? I’m pretty sure it’s what you have in mind, Y/N.” 

You were now trying your best to hold back the tears forming at the corners of your eyes. “W-What made you finally feel that way, Sunwoo?”

“I…I don’t even know myself, Y/N. In the beginning, I’ve only seen you as a little sibling that I would protect at all costs because I do not want to repeat the same mistake as I have done to my biological sister. But as we spent more time together, there was just something that I felt within me that made me realise that maybe you’re more than just a sibling to me now.” 

Sunwoo gently lifted your head once more before giving you a little peck on the lips again. “One thing is for sure now: I would protect you at all costs, even if it means I must sacrifice myself. I’m not doing this as a favour to your brother anymore; I’m doing this because you mean a lot to me.” 

With those words, you couldn’t help but smile for the first time in a while before responding to the man himself. “Well, you’re going to have to do a lot of explaining to my brother, then.” 

“Yeah. Frankly, I hate the thought of having to go through that phase. But if it’s you, I’d do anything to get that approval from Mr Bae himself.” He winked. 

“Ew. Gross.” 

“Admit it, you like the thought of us being together and a thing in the near future.” 

“You better hold your horses before I shove this fabric down your throat.” 

“Wow, aren’t you a scary one?” 

You both broke into laughter with that conversation. It has been a while since you both have bickered like that, and you missed this mischievous side of him.

“Well, mister. We’ll have to wait a couple of days for you to be completed healed before we hit the road again.” You announced as you finally stood up from the couch.

“Give me a day to rest up, and then we’ll leave.” 

“Kim Sunwoo, there’s no way you’re healing up within a day with that bullet wound in your abdomen.” 

“If I say one day, it means one day,” he deadpanned. 

“You can’t be serious,” you argued back. 

“One day.”

“No.”

“Yes.” 

You sighed. “We will determine that after 24 hours, then.” 

Sunwoo smiled as he laid back down on the couch. “Well, now that’s settled, we could go through the strategy planning tomorrow. For now, I think it’s time for us to get into bed together—”

“You’re not touching me in my sleep.”

“Oh come on, we kissed, so what’s the matter?” He pouted. 

“We’re not at that stage yet.” 

“Pretty please with a cherry on top?” He begged.

“Absolutely not.”

Miraculously, it took only a day for Sunwoo to be entirely healed as he drove down the streets, heading back to the capital. You swore that this man was built differently from all of you, and he was a monster at that, able to heal so quickly with a wound that would typically take at least a week or two. 

He was definitely feeling a lot better after a good night's rest, and you guided him into the fireplace before telling him the details you had found back in the systems room. Sunwoo’s eyes widened as he heard about your findings, and never would he have thought that you both would be able to receive that critical information to finally pinpoint who was the exact mastermind behind all of this. 

After hearing your thoughts and suggestions, the both of you quickly took off to one of his nearest hideouts, where he would often meet up with his closer subordinates to inform them about the current plan. After a whole night of planning, all of you were now on the road heading back into the city.

When you finally catch a glimpse of the police station from afar, bittersweet feelings immediately form within you as you know that there would be the last destination to be able to crack the cold case open. You hope that Jacob is somewhere hidden within the facility since you last saw him. 

As all the bikes began pulling up nearby, Sunwoo gave the lads further instructions on infiltrating the building without being detected by the guards. Their mission was to find out where exactly the victims were kept away and to avoid conflict with any detectives that came their way. 

Based on the information you found at the factory, you insisted that it would be best to confront the mastermind since you have gotten a pretty good hunch on who they are and where they might be residing too. But Sunwoo insisted that he was going to stay close to you as much as he could, and he was not going to risk your life once more. 

It took a bit of convincing back and forth, but you finally managed to persuade him to stay nearby but undetected, fearing that the mastermind might flee if they had a sense that you did not come alone to meet them.

So here you were, pressing the exact button that would eventually lead you to the top floor of the building, staring straight into the screen above the lift that indicated that you were slowly going up each second. Your hands began shaking against your own will, fearing that you were finally going to meet your worst nightmare, one that has kept you awake and separated from your own family and friends for weeks. 

As you shut your eyes to take a deep breath, you were instantly cut off from your train of thoughts when you felt someone grab onto your hands and intertwine their fingers with yours. When you opened your eyes and turned your head to the side, you could see that Sunwoo was just as nervous as you were, linking his hands with yours. 

It must’ve been hard for Sunwoo as well; he was also dealing with his struggles when he was with you. But he has never failed to let it get to them to the point that it made him lose all hope and sanity. Perhaps it must have been fate that you were there with him, and you were able to give him a bit of strength and company to deal with all of this. 

Your grip tightened against his, and you looked into his eyes. “Sunwoo…”

“It’ll be over soon, Y/N. I’m sure of it. No civilians should ever experience this nightmare ever again. We’re going to break the chain of history and not let it repeat itself once again,” Sunwoo said confidently, and he was determined that it was time to make a change in Seoul’s dark history of crimes and corruption. 

As the doors to the lift opened, you slowly stepped out of the lift and let go of Sunwoo’s grip and looked at him once more before walking to where you were supposed to be headed. For the last time, you both communicated by looking into each other’s eyes; Sunwoo promised you that he would be nearby and that you didn’t have to worry as he would keep you safe. 

With a nod from you, the doors to the lift eventually began to close, and you constantly kept your eyes glued on Sunwoo before the doors were glued shut. 

Turning your heel towards the opposite direction, you slowly walked along the corridors, passing by multiple rooms before reaching the one at the furthest end. You read the door sign carefully before confirming that you were at the right place. 

Slowly, you lifted up your hands to gently knock on the door before it slowly opened on its own. With a gulp, you stepped in and peered your head through the room. It was dark, and the only light shining into the room was the moonlight from the windows. 

When you were fully physically in the room, the doors behind you suddenly slammed shut again, sending a sense of nervousness throughout your entire body. You had to remind yourself constantly that as long as you can get through this last spurt, everything will finally be revealed, and it will be a chapter closed. 

You could sense that you weren’t alone in this room and that someone was lurking in the shadows. Taking this as your chance to confront them, you finally gathered the courage to speak up to whoever was in here with you. 

“It seems that your time of reign has abruptly ended. It wasn’t easy trying to track you down for months; given your position, it must’ve been really easy to get hold of the young ladies into your care. You surely are a brave individual who was willing to take the risk,” you announced aloud but were again met with silence. 

But you didn’t come here to give up quickly, so you decided to press on. “Say, haven’t you stooped down so low, using your detective position to claim these young women for your benefit? Wasn’t your wife good enough for you? Why resort to kidnapping and eventually trafficking these young ladies for your good?”

Come on, Y/N. Just a little bit more. 

“You even went to seek help from the biker gang. Are you that desperate? Especially when you have sworn that you hate them to the core and would never associate with the likes of them.” 

“Don’t you think so, Uncle Bae?” 

With that last sentence, the room felt much more silent than it already was before you eventually heard footsteps coming before you, finally revealing to the man that you have been trying your best to get him out of the shadows. 

“I’m beyond impressed, Y/N. You are just as smart as your brother; you could easily pull off as a detective for the station.” 

It has been a while since you have seen your uncle. He was the deputy chief of the Seoul Metropolitan Police Department and was often away to deal with heavy and pressing matters requiring him to stay stuck in this office all day or even fly out of the country to do so.

He also took your brother in and gave him a chance as a detective after seeing his extraordinary talent with computers and hacking. After your parents passed, he was the one who has been raising you both just as his children, and he was finally able to let loose a bit once you both entered adulthood. 

He often visits during celebrations as much as he can despite his busy schedule, and you both have always admired him for what he has done to serve the country. He was considered the nation’s hero, after all.

But it seems that not all good things last for long, especially when you receive that concrete evidence and message back in the systems room from your very own brother, revealing who the mastermind is. Why exactly did he choose to do all of this? Your very own uncle, the nation’s hero, to be behind all of the kidnappings that have happened for the past several months. It would be impossible to convince the public that this was the reality that everyone has been living in; that is why it is up to you now to publicly reveal and gain concrete evidence to stop his spree of crimes.

“My dear little Y/N, how exactly did you even crack the code? I was certain that you couldn’t decrypt ciphertexts.” 

So, that was why he used it as a primary method of communicating with the bikers. 

“Well, I’m afraid you have made a fatal mistake. I may not be able to read ciphertexts, but I sure can read morse code.” 

“What?” 

You chuckled. “You may have kept my brother hidden away somewhere, but so long as he is within the facility and was one of the top hackers in the station, he would certainly find a way to hack through the systems throughout the district and even out of town, keeping in a close contact with us.” 

“Just as expected from my nephew, I shouldn’t have underestimated what you both were capable of,” he laughed. 

Unbeknownst to you, you eventually balled your fists up, and you were on the verge of wanting to throw a punch straight into his face despite being family by blood. However, you tried your best to hold yourself back, you have to get concrete evidence first and foremost. 

“Why, Uncle Bae? Why would a successful detective like you do such a thing? Why live a double life?” You asked and pleaded a little to see if he had any sense of remorse left in him. 

But your efforts were wasted. 

“Oh, Y/N. You have no idea how cruel our world can truly be. It doesn’t matter how high your status can be; the city of Seoul will forever remain dark and corrupt behind the scenes, whether you like it or not. In this world that we will live in, it’s like a tug-of-war, Y/N. If you don’t take a step further, then the younger and weaklings will eventually catch up, and we don’t want that to happen, do we?” 

Your uncle then stepped closer to you and began slowly circling around you. 

“There are only two groups of people in the world; either you choose to be strong or stay behind with the weak. It’s a cruel world that we live in, Y/N. When the opportunity comes, take it even if there’s the slightest opening to becoming the strong elite. Take it and do not spare a glance back, even if it means you must ditch your old life behind. You might even need to sacrifice some things or people to realise those goals.” 

“B-But that doesn’t imply why you would turn to crime to achieve those goals, Uncle Bae,” you commented. 

He sighed. “I’m afraid you are still too young to realise it then. Those girls should be lucky that they are still alive. I haven’t even gotten to the good part yet.” 

Your blood was now boiling, and you were on the verge of genuinely slapping or hitting some sense into your uncle, even though you knew that it would probably be effortless. You just needed to hurt him, make him suffer for all that he has done to all of those young women, even to your friend, Kisa. 

Before you finally shut your eyes, you had to ask him one last question before you were going to reach behind your back pocket for the knife that you had stored away.

“Let me then ask you this, Uncle Bae. What happened five years ago when a detective was responsible for kidnapping young children across the district. Was that your doing as well?” 

In your gut, you already knew what the actual answer would be. But at least you still needed to hear it directly from his mouth. 

“Ah, Minhwan? It was truly a tragedy that he lost his life easily then. He was just a step closer to kidnapping his tenth victim.” 

God, you felt sick to the stomach. He truly was a heartless individual; all of the years of putting up a favourable face in front of his family eventually broke down, revealing who he truly is in front of you now. 

You couldn’t care less if he was your uncle anymore; all you knew was that he was going to hell, and you so desperately wanted to end his life here and then—

“So it was you who made my sister suffer the way she did.” 

That voice! Sunwoo!

You quickly jerked your head behind to see that Sunwoo was now aiming his gun directly at your uncle, but before you could even process further, you were immediately pulled into your uncle’s embrace. He immediately took out his gun from his holster and rested it on your temple. 

“My, if it isn’t the biker gang leader himself! You surely have grown since the last time I’ve seen you.” 

“Never in a million years would I have thought that the chief detective would have been monitoring and guiding the underworld for several years. It would surely be a huge hit in the newspapers and eventually across the globe,” Sunwoo taunted. 

“That would be nice, but I’m afraid you both won’t live through the next sunrise to see it happen because I will be eliminating you both right here and now, starting with Y/N,” he pushed the gun further to the point that it began to hurt. You could tell that one wrong move from either of you would result in a bullet within the two of you. 

You both have to think quickly and strategically before executing the next move. 

“What makes you think you can outsmart me, young man? You’re from the biker gang, for goodness sake!” Your uncle began raising his voice and was now engaged in the conversation with Sunwoo. 

That was when you looked into Sunwoo’s eyes, and you could tell he was trying to tell you something. 

It was as if he meant…

Trust me, Y/N. 

“It is because I’m the biker gang’s leader, Mr Chief. Hence, I can and will outsmart you here right now.” 

With that one last word, Sunwoo loaded his gun and pulled the trigger, aiming straight at your legs. The bullet barely grazed through your skin, and you immediately fell onto your knees, which made your uncle stunned. 

“Hey! Hey! Y/N! Get up! Get up now!”

In the midst of his panic, Sunwoo quickly stepped in and took his hand onto his back before propelling his body forward, slamming him onto the ground. He quickly used his knee to keep him in place. He used his hands to push the chief’s head to the ground while the other held both hands towards his back. 

“Y-You think you’re going to get away with this? You’re a hundred years too fast…” the chief grunted. 

“Actually, I think you might as well start digging your grave now, dear uncle.” 

Immediately, all of you looked towards the front door entrance where the voice was coming from, and your eyes widened upon who you had just seen. 

“Jacob!!!” You screamed out loud; tears might even start falling from the corners of your eyes. 

“Hello, uncle. Missed me?” 

“H-How did you get out from there? There’s absolutely no way—”

“Well, I have my ways. And unfortunately for you, I hacked into the station system, so your computer right there on your desk was recording everything that you said towards both my sibling and the biker gang’s leader; I may have also shared the recording with the local radio stations, so everyone heard it live and in real timing too,” Jacob announced as he was twirling the USB drive in his hands. 

“Why you little scumbag!!” He screamed before Sunwoo gathered his strength to push him down again. 

“I think the scumbag here is you, dear uncle. I’m sure the FBI would be delighted to interrogate the heck out of you and give you the rightful punishment you need.”

“What? The FBI?” He questioned. 

“You actually think I came here unprepared? The FBI has officially raided the entire building, taking the hostages to safety and caught your little gremlins, escorting them to prison at this very moment as we speak.” 

Jacob took a few steps closer before eventually bending down to face his uncle.

“I’m sorry, but your reign of terror ends here and now.”

It had been a year since that fateful incident. Getting things back to normal surely took a lot of time and effort. 

Thanks to Jacob and the FBI, they have taken your uncle away and placed him behind bars, even at a high security one at that. Throughout the gruelling interrogation that they have had, it seems that your uncle was part of more twisted crimes than what the public was aware of, and he was sentenced to life imprisonment at that, with no chance of parole. 

As for the victims, they were all returned safely to their own families after recovering at the hospital for a while. Thanks to the staff's generosity, the victims were given more than enough care and treatment for them to eventually return to their usual selves.

The Seoul Metropolitan Police Department needed some time to regain the public's trust. To tackle that issue, the officials elected your brother Jacob to take over the chief position and oversee the whole process of rebuilding the entire police department. It definitely wasn’t an easy task and was undoubtedly a huge burden for Jacob, but he did not complain and rather took on the role easily. 

The factory that you used to work in was abolished as the police themselves continued to dig through more uncovered dark secrets that lay below the factory grounds. For the safety and well-being of the public, all authorities have agreed that it would be best to tear the place down, leaving behind a chapter. 

But that did not mean that all workers there met a bad fate. Through the help from the public and the authorities, everyone was given a chance to work at a much better and safer workplace. 

As weeks passed, you scored through all your exams and eventually graduated from university. You were now on the road to becoming a full-fledged journalist, currently undergoing probation under the famous company The Seoul Daily Magazine. You have been enjoying your time here, meeting amazing colleagues and having a healthier work-life balance. 

As for Sunwoo, he decided to return to his biker gang, further leading the upcoming lads to take over the higher positions within their hierarchy. However, it was thanks to the latest kidnapping cases that the public realised that the bikers themselves weren’t rebellious nor posed a threat to society. They have begun to put their trust in the bikers themselves, and they would often be seen hanging out together in town daily. 

Jacob has granted a special position for Sunwoo in the police department, encouraging the male to join forces as their previous one worked out splendidly. According to your brother, Sunwoo just smiled and turned down the offer, saying that the bikers are one big family and would stick by them until the end. 

You smiled as you remembered all of those moments of how Sunwoo had always shared about his lads from the gang, and naturally, you decided to visit them often whenever you got to hop onto Sunwoo’s bike; you both were finally a couple now anyway. 

It wasn’t until the digital clock that was situated right on your table started to go off that you realised that it was finally time for you to get off work. You quickly jumped up from your chair, giving yourself a little stretch before packing your things away hurriedly. 

“Oh, someone’s leaving early today, huh?” One of your co-workers peeked through your cubicle and teased. 

“Someone’s got a dinner date tonight, a very romantic one at that, too,” another one chimed in. 

“It’s nothing, you guys, we’re just having a normal dinner,” you reassured, but clearly your co-workers didn’t believe you in the slightest bit. 

“I bet they’re going to finally do it tonight.”

“What?! How can you say that?! I bet they’re going to propose instead.” 

“Nothing is going to happen, okay? Now, I’m off. I’ll see you next Monday!” 

You quickly clocked out before running down the steps down to the lobby. You were too excited and couldn’t wait for the elevator to reach your floor. Once you finally saw your boyfriend leaning against one of the pillars outside your company, you quickly dashed towards the automatic doors before finally stopping right in front of him.

He was in his usual black leather jacket and cargo pants, but his hair was much longer now, so it covered his eyes if he decided not to part them. But you loved this new look on him, much better when his hair was shorter a year ago.

“Like what you see, sweetheart?” 

“Hmph, don’t get too full of yourself. You barely did just the minimum,” you commented before linking your arms with his as you both walked towards the restaurant that Sunwoo had booked for the night. 

“Come on, I styled myself just for tonight. You might as well give me some compliments,” he whined. 

“I’ll consider it if you order something that I have been craving to eat for a while,” you stuck your tongue out at him. 

“How should I know what you’re craving for the day?” 

“You’re the boyfriend; you should’ve done your research.” 

“Mean.” 

“I spit the facts.” 

You both burst out into laughter after that; you truly enjoyed every moment with this guy, even if you were just bickering over the tiniest detail possible. It was when you both went silent for a while, admiring the Christmas lights and decorations that lit up the entire city. You both finally stopped at the huge Christmas tree in the middle of town, admiring its beauty for a while before heading to the restaurant just a little bit behind the decor. 

“Say, didn’t you mention that I would be your biggest mistake when I first picked you up back at the factory?” 

“Oh…that.” 

“Yeah, that. What am I to you now, princess?” He looked at you with pleading eyes; he was back at trying to get your compliments since he failed the last one.

You sighed before tilting your head towards his direction before planting a soft peck on his lips. 

“You were the best mistake that has ever happened to me.”

A/N: this was not supposed to be 20k+ i swear i have no idea what in God's name happened. 🤓

masterlist

taglist: @deoboyznet @kflixnet @k-films @flwoie @zzoguri @kyusqult @tinkerbell460 @cheonsafics @sulkygyu @jaerisdiction @lngwayup @itsbeeble @kimsohn (join my permanent taglist here!)

[star1ight0]

Shouta Aizawa, Hizashi Yamada x PLATONIC KID!!

I crave comfort so here

Tw : Ed /sh

Not many people were aware of your relationship with your homeroom teacher and English teacher known as Mr. Aizawa and his loud husband Mic but they were your dad's. In the beginning of the year they both made it clear no special treatment would be given and you appreciated it a lot.

This also came with its ups and downs trying to fight the urge to hug you dad in front of class after villain attacks ect, as much as they'd both fight it they also struggled to accessively check on you when you all moved to dorms.

Having grown up always close to him after they adopted you from a abusive home. had its drags on you all You weren't entirely sure when this overwhelming feeling of despair started but it felt so shitty, you had no reason to feel this way you had a good life. Loving dads, a nice school and a few friends you hold dear to you. It was so long ago why was this still bothering you.

You remembered a conversation you had with your dad, Mic recalling how Aizawa was struggling with mental health and how it wasn't an effect of things around him but rather his brain chemistry. You looked at your phone debating on calling your family group chat to ask them for help but managed to talk yourself out of it resorting to crying on your closet floor.

After a few minutes of crying you managed to pull yourself together grabbing some clothes and deciding this was all in your head and you had no reason to feel so shitty. Heading out your room you feel a tap on your shoulder "it's past curfew kid" you turn around to see you father Hizashi looking around you you look back at him eyes still puffy "Sorry dad, just needed a shower" you say attempting to walk away when you feel a hand in you wrist "were you crying little listener?" You flinch at the childhood nickname your dad had given you "No, sorry just tired" you say pulling away "either your high or you were crying which one is it kid" He says pointing to your eyes "its nothing dad please just let me shower"

You pull away walking away leaving your dad in the hall alone. You took a long shower, trying to scrub off the memories of your past home. You get out the shower and go back to your dorm laying down on the floor ignoring the fact your bed was no more than 3 feet away. You look at your phone to see Aizawa texted you

You okay kiddo?

Yeah sorry for worrying y'all just a bad day

Are you sure

Yeah

If you say so, me and Hizashi are here if you need us. Now go to bed it's late

The conversation was short and to the point but you still felt the need to want to call him and tell him these awful feelings you were having.

A few days passed when you got an email from an all too familiar name, it was your biological mom. The very same woman who had given you physical and mental problems along with nonstop nightmares for 2 years. You had changed everything phone number homes socal midea accounts anything that she could you to find you. Yet her name is in your inbox with a paragraph calling you names and threatening you. Everything felt so out of control like nothing you did to get away from her was enough. But she knew now, she knew what school you went to. 1-A had been on TV after all, you should have known it was only a matter of time. You looked at your phone blankly feeling your body shake and tears fall from your face. You reached for your pocket knife making a cut on your thigh it felt good like you finally had control over how you felt like you had control over something when everything around you was so chaotic. This was bad you knew that but it felt too good to want to care.

Overtime the threatening emails from your mother piled up only feeding the fear she'd find you and harm you, in turn causing more scars to be formed on your legs. You dads had quickly talked notice to you change in dimanar and talked it over amongst themselves and tried to reach out to you but it was all brushed off as a bad week of a bad day.

This began to escalate more than your lack of interest in food came about you seemed so tired too tired to even eat. This is where they drew the line. No kid of theirs would be passing out in training. They just couldn't figure out how to talk to you about this without you shutting down and shutting them out.

Monday morning training came about and you felt exhausted like your whole body was about to give out. This was only further proven when you passed out before training with Todoroki without him even activating either of his quirks. Both Hizashi and Aizawa rushed to your side as another student ran to get recovery girl. You woke up in the nurses office with both your dad's next to you looking worried out their minds.

"Recovery girl said you'd be fine.. as long as you ate and drank probably." There was a silence filled with worry and a bit of anger

"I'm sorry dad-" you were cut off by Hizashi hugging you, "please don't scare me like that kid" he said holding you as if you were gonna disappear. "Talk to us if you need to kiddo. You know we'll listen. "

You hugged him back going back to your dorm early as you were excused from all classes for the day, sitting on your floor you checked your phone to see another email this time from your biological father. Your mom texting you was one thing you knew in some way she didn't have the gut to actually hurt you but your dad, he'd hunt you down and kill you, metaphorically and literally. You felt a wave of fear washing over you and you sobbed standing up hands on your head pacing around your room crying and shaking. You reach for your knife once more sliding down the wall making a cut in an almost fully healed scar feeling that feeling of control comes back. You made a few more before stopping, taking a deep breath grabbing your first aid kit sitting in the same spot of the floor. Yeah you felt stupid but not stupid enough to not clean this kind of thing. As you were cleaning up you heard a knock at your door

"Kid? It's us can we talk?"

Aizawa says still waiting at the door "Y-yeah give me a minute please!!" You shout rushing to put the first aid kit away and some sweatpants and throw your knife under the bed you wipe your face, and open the door

"Kid are you okay you look a little.. worse than earlier "

"yeah I'm fine just not in a great mood" you said looking at your phone placed in the far end of the bed. They both came Into your room and sat on your bed and attempted to talk to you about what had been bothering you. The conversation went in circles before you placed your head in Aizawa's lap and your legs. Your dad Hizashi standing at the foot of your bed about to leave seeing as it seemed to have been handled was stopped by a blood stain on the floor.

"Shouta, I think we should stay till she wakes up"

"hm. I mean I'm not against it but why ?"

He points at the blood spot on the floor and Shoutas eyes widen.

"they are knocked out right now so can you look for whatever is being used ?"

He nods looking around your room eyes landing on a pocked knife shining under your bed.

"here, I'll put it in our room" he says showing Shouta before closing it and placing it in his pocket, as he was above to leave his stopped by the light of your phone along with a name he recognized followed by a scowl.

"Shouta I'm gonna check their phone for something"

He gives Hizashi a confused look but unable to move because of your sleeping form he allows him to do so, you trusted them enough to let them know your passwords but they had never not trusted you enough to go through your phone. He opens the email, reading it the existing and seeing y'all the others. He made a face of pure disgust and walked toward Shouta showing him the inbox along with one of the emails it had.

Both had decided to stay in your room till morning planning in talking to you about this night of rather unfortunate events. But this was cut short by the feeling of you hyperventilating in Shoutas lap. Hizashi gently shakes him awake and they both attempt to comfort you untimatly failing as you wake you shaking tears forming in your eyes. An all too familiar scene for your dad's to witness.

"it's okay kid, your okay" Hizashi whispered patting your head as Aizawa rubbed your shoulder.

"sorry i-"

"No apologies. We know everything so there's no need to hide anything from us anymore"

Shouta says looking up at his husband

"you could have really hurt yourself kid"

"i know I just - " you were cut off my a knot in your throat as you scrambled to find the words "everything feels so out of control and I can control this you know?" Shouta nooding in agreement.

"why did you come to is kiddo?

"i- I didn't want you to worry you. You guys had enough going on.."

You said your voice is still shaking between sobs.

"you'd never be a bother to us. It's our job as you parents to check on you and worry for you"

You all had a long talk about possible coping strategies and ways to communicate you wanted to talk about something without feeling bothersome. A few relapses were bound to happen and they both knew this but did everything they could to ensure it didn't. Even if it meant letting the whole class know you were their kid so you could go in the teachers wing of the dorms. You began slowly getting better with set backs here and there, but by setting up and new email and talking more about what your depression episodes felt like, both your dad were able to help you through it

Yes it's messy I wrote 75% of this in one go and the other half after my shower. And it's like 12:58am

Requests are open but slow

Please reach out if you need to to!!

[lokislittlemidgardian]

Mommy’s comfort

Content - age regression, mother issues (manipulation, narcissism), flashbacks, swearing, cg!natasha, sfw!!breastfeeding, cuddles, comfort, major angst, fluff, not proofread, don’t like don’t read.

Summary - when you get flashbacks of your mother your cg takes care of you through them.

Authors note - this one touches on mother and daughter issues so please don’t read if it’s a trigger for you and if it gets to much please click off and read something else your mental health is very important to me my darlings, reblogs are greatly appreciated, I hope you enjoy <3

Your mind wouldn’t leave you alone.

The flashbacks of your mother weren’t going easy on you today, you hated her.

She was always horrible to you, she was a manipulative, narcissistic cow.

Every reason you hated yourself she was the one who brought it out in you, she would downgrade your self confidence and then when you retaliated with swearing you were the bad guy.

And you never had your side taken by anyone, your father was an arsehole as well, there was one time he defended you against her and he changed his mind and said you were both to blame the second your mother told a lie.

You wished you could have confided in your brother but he was much to young at the time.

So you were left to deal with it yourself, that was until you found Natasha.

You had met when you worked at a cafe near avengers tower and you had been together ever since.

You were currently sat in the corner of your living room soft toys beside you and a colouring in book in front of you.

You were incredibly comfortable, until the television switched to an older show with lots of shouting.

The shouting and arguments all came flooding back to you and you started to cry loudly.

Natasha heard your loud sobbing from the kitchen where she was cutting up vegetables for your dinner and immediately made her way towards you.

“Baby?” She questioned worriedly “oh little one what’s wrong?” She gasped rushing over and kneeling down beside you.

“She’s so horrible” you hiccuped reaching out for her, Natasha instantly knew what this was about.

“Come here my love” the sighed picking you up and bringing you to sit on the sofa in her lap, quickly reaching over to grab the remote he turned the channel back to the children’s shows and turned down the volume slightly.

“I know sweetie, I know” she whispered soothing you by stroking your hair “your safe now my baby, your safe and everything’s okay.”

“Your in our home, our home. Your nowhere near her and she can’t get to you, it’s okay everything’s okay” Nat whispered pressing her lips against your hairline shushing you lightly.

After a few minutes of Natasha whispering sweet nothings to you you started to calm down. “Mommy” you sighed hugging her hand.

“Are you alright now sweet girl?” She asked you gently smiled down stroking stray tears away from your eyes.

“Mhm” you mumbled slightly kicking your legs and nuzzling into her chest “aww you’re really little aren’t you” she chuckled carefully placing her hands on your kicking legs so you wouldn’t hurt your ankle.

“Mama” you whispered slightly weighing to move up to her further “yes baby?” “Can I have some milk?” “Of course you can sweetheart, do you wanna come with mommy to get your bottle or-“ “can I have some of mommy’s milk?” You whispered shyly.

Natasha had recently gone on a new pain medication prescribed by doctor banner and one of the side effects was lactation much to your appreciation when you were this little.

Chuckling lightly Natasha undid a few buttons on her shirt and helped you latch onto her “of course you can sweetheart” she whispered gently to you.

As you drank down the milk you felt your eyes fall slightly the exhaustion creeping up on you “have a sleep my darling, I’ll be here when you wake up”

You may not have a nice mother, but at least you have an incredible mommy.

───── ⋆⋅◇⋅⋆ ─────

Taglist - @bootlegmothman420 @littlephia @whippedforhongjoong @youngstarfishdinosaur @patchesofwork @buggyateabug @folklorefairie @friendlyneighborhoodkillerbunny @sparklybuck @2-gay-possums-in-a-trench-coat @hopelesswritergall @stuckysgirl27 @sleepyprinc3ss @chaotic-little-witch @looksthatkilledd @teddybearsgrr @fluffyblanketgecko

[buggywiththefolkmagic]

Appalachian Witchcraft for Beginners: Review

This is: Appalachian Witchcraft for Beginners: The History, Remedies, and Spells of a Rich Folk Magic Tradition by Auburn Lily

Rating: 2/10

Pros: Some information presented is correct, like the information on “ingredients” isn’t too bad if not a super small amount of them, she mentioned red clay which a lot of books seem to forget exists. And this book’s aesthetics? 10/10 for the illustration work, colors, fonts! I also appreciated the insistence that you help the land as much as possible, as well as the land’s original inhabitants and to give Indigenous voices space. 

Cons: There is so much I was so disappointed by. First off let’s get this out of the way: The author in her bio on her own website auburnlily.com claims she is a starseed. I have a LOT of personal feelings about the Starseed movement and how it damages the progress of mental health and getting help and medication for said mental disorders. But this should have been the first major red flag that this book would not be what it says on the cover.

A lot of my problems are as follows:

Most folk workers don’t use the same three or four ingredients…in this case:

Peppermint. Rose. Essential Oils. Crystals, usually citrine or black tourmaline. 

Actually we tend to not use crystals at all unless we’ve adapted them into our practice ourselves…the old folk didn’t have pretty rocks to use they got at the New Age store in the town square, alright? 

A LOT of this information is definitely tinged in a new age and modern light. The correspondences for the days of the week mentions “The Goddess” which we don’t…deal with??? At all??

Another example:

Grannies used to use the bible and ‘faith healing’ to avoid persecution from their community.

Absolutely not! She mentioned the witch trials a minimum of 6 times, which (ahaha good pun) almost made me roll my eyes into the back of my head, then I read the bible to avoid persecution part and almost burned the book on the spot.

Faith healing is NOT a cop out. 

It was the way things WERE. Were there hexers? Yes. Were they given a wide berth sometimes? Also yes. But they also had their place in the community! The hexer in my family, Flossie, was respected with some fear, but she was also the person who scorned lovers and cheated on spouses went to. When the police were hounding moonshiners a few came to her for cop go away works. 

The author also insinuates that Yarb Doctors were held in higher regard because they didn’t use faith/and or gender may have had a point in that. I dunno what yarb doctors and grannies she talked to but men were not allowed in the birthing room, that was a Granny’s responsibility and by god they did it well. You never backtalked a Granny, they were and are the backbones of their communities. 

Now that I’m off that soapbox, the author also seems to believe that meditation, third eyes, astrology in a modern way, and crystals are critical for Appalachian witchcraft which is stupidly incorrect. Her recipe for floor wash is hogwash and far too simple and small, her candle color correspondences are laughable…especially that little line on Orange: “Helps with menstrual cramps.” If that was the case no straight woman in Tennessee would get cramps because they all wear orange at least once a week for their team. 

She only uses Hoodoo like…3 times which is better than most authors so I supposed that’s progress? But the author also hates baneful work and makes mention of that fact numerous times.

The author also has quite a few love spells mentioned, and weirdly enough…a lot of her ingredients in OTHER spells are also the same ingredients in her love spells. How strange. 

My final and most damning gripe, the author seems to believe that stereotypes make for amazing offerings to the ancestors. In particular…the Irish would appreciate offerings of potatoes. You have to be kidding me.

Overall: Yet another new age witch trying to make folk magic look far more complicated and fluffy than it is. I hated this so much. I didn't even touch the "Open the healing channel" and "Reparative Visualization" "SPELLS" she includes which sounds like absolute woowoo.

Proof of some of these claims are below: 

[tulipsie-art]

today marks one year since i left full-time art behind to work as a computer person and i think i can say for sure now that it was the right decision for me

it pains me to admit it because i fought against the idea for so long and was so dead-set on being a career artist but, i'm a lot happier now, not because i'm drawing less (trust me, i'd love to draw and work on stuff i'm passionate about all day), but purely because my work is so much less stressful. i had people telling me that because i'd got 25k or 30k followers on twitter that i'd "made it", that i'd hit the holy grail and could now easily make a living from my artwork, but that was so, so far from the truth lol

i was barely scraping by off commissions with a tiny stipend from patreon, and i would have new artists coming to me asking for advice on how to "make it", how to turn their art into their career, and like, how do you turn around to these bright-eyed artists who are making great work, who see you as their goal and say "i put years of hard work into building this following, got a few huge lucky breaks and i'm earning less than £400 a month from doing it full-time", that fucking sucks man

i don't write this to say "don't follow your dreams!" or "don't bother", i love making and posting art and i've met some of the most wonderful people doing it, but i think my thoughts mirror a lot of youtubers you see who give advice to new youtubers and say "for the love of god do not make this your career" - the unfortunate truth is the whole "social media artist as a living" thing, except for a very select lucky few, is a very rocky business model at best, and if i haven't already mentioned, can be extremely bad for one's mental health for a whole bunch of reasons

it's a career path i see glorified a fair bit and a lot of people aspire to it, but having tried to walk that path and been ostensibly "successful", god damn is it tough, if not impossible

i guess my other point, if there is any, is that artists on the whole have it really fucking tough, and if you have an artist you love and it is within your means to support them, please do so. i guarantee they're struggling out there - most artists with similar or even bigger followings that i've spoken to have had experiences that pretty much mirror my own, so i don't think i'm an isolated case

thanks for reading if you did, and i do want to say, i really, really appreciate you all <3 i don't get to draw much these days, but i do get to draw whatever i want, and to post it here and still get such wonderful positive reactions makes me very happy :)

[letteredlettered]

Hi!! Have you ever struggled with burnout, depression, or overwork? Currently in my first job post college and it’s been very intense as we are currently like 3 people doing the work of a team designed for 7 people (two roles they are working to fill and two people are out on leave -> one is out on vacation and the other on parental leave). Have spent many ours on overtime (around two days a week I usually sleep five or six hours and spend a few more hours working —> other days I work a bit less but still some overtime) for the last few months. It’s really hard to decompress and stop thinking about work as I work remotely. I need to get better at setting limits and advocating for myself but I think one issue I’ve been dealing with is getting caught in a cycle of having a lot so having not a lot of time to do an analysis of like what needs to change and this is my bandwidth. Also it’s hard to predict bandwidth sometimes because I’m still very new to this industry and department, so I’m still learning how much coordination is necessary to get something done. Another problem is that everyone is stretched to their limit and extremely busy, so I feel kind of bad rejecting projects. I think an issue is that I also have relatively low self-esteem and confidence but a deep desire to be “good” from like an academic perspective and a work perspective, and the main leader of my team is someone who I like a lot and appreciates what I do, so I keep trying to do more or at least meet expectations. I also receive assignments from different people (five people total, usually), so people generally don’t have visibility as to my bandwidth unless I speak up. One person in particular gave me a lot of assignments with a good deal of time pressure and was the person that I was working the closest with —> still trying to catch up to some of the more evergreen projects I had with him because the other projects I’ve had in the last two months have even way too intense to do anything else. I’m really grateful for this job and I like a lot of the people I work with, but I’m kind of struggling.

I mention all of this because I really respect the way you are able to commit to creative projects and create incredible works and really focus on making something. I’ve never really had an ability to stick to a creative project or hobby for an extended period of time —> frequently I disappoint myself in my lack of consistency or follow-through for a lot of my personal goals. I also really appreciate the way that you engage with certain themes in your work and value your perspective. So just kind of curious if you’ve been through this before or have any thoughts about this sort of thing

I've thought a lot about what to tell you here.

What anyone would recommend is that you set boundaries and take care of yourself. They'd say that your well-being is more important than your work. If they read your ask carefully they'd realize that maybe your performance in this job is connected to your well-being in your mind. If they're looking at the strings that control the system they're going to tell you capitalism has brainwashed us into thinking that we should sacrifice our health for the sake of production, and then they'll tell you you should do what you can to break out of the capitalist mentality. If they're not excited about seizing the means of production then their in-universe advice (in-the-capitalist-universe advice) is going to point out that you cannot produce more for the capitalist machine if you're burnt out (I'd call these people the neoliberals of tumblr but I'm not sure that exists; I haven't seen it).

But none of that is really addressing the problem here, because you already know all of that, or if you don't know it, knowing that isn't going to help you. You don't need to be told to set boundaries. You know you accept too many projects; you know that you haven't been clear with your colleagues about your bandwidth. You know you're trying too hard to please others and that part of the reason is you have a low self-esteem.

Something that people don't talk about enough is how bad it feels to set boundaries. When people advise others to "set boundaries" it's always as if it's never occurred to anyone else to stand up for themselves. The problem is that it usually has occurred to us, but it's hard to do and feels bad. Hearing "stand up for yourself!" repeatedly can sometimes help us feel like we did the right thing when we do manage to stand up for ourselves, but it can just as often make you feel even worse when you can't stand up for yourself. You're being overworked and you're not doing the thing that everyone tells you you should do.

And another thing that people do not talk about enough is that most workplaces do not like employees who set boundaries for themselves. They like people who say yes. You often won't get in trouble for setting reasonable limits for yourself, but you won't advance. The ones who work late and work on weekends and take on every project and say nothing about bandwidth are usually the ones who get promoted. I'm not saying this because it's right or okay. It's another flaw in the capitalist system. But it is very often true, and I've been a little frustrated that in all these glorious discussions about boundary-setting, this is not something that gets talked about more.

So what to do, when you know the answers, but it doesn't feel great, and might not get you where you want to go?

Spend time with your feelings. A lot of time with your feelings. Imagine ways to communicate your bandwidth. Imagine how you would feel in each scenario. Pick scenarios that feel more comfortable and less intimidating for you. Imagine saying no to a new project. Imagine how you would feel doing that. Pick a way of doing it that feels the most manageable.

Think about your colleagues, what you like about them and why. Imagine how they would feel if they knew that you were struggling. Imagine having an honest conversation with them about how hard this is for you. Would they listen open and compassionately? Would they try to make changes that could help you? Or would they say, "We're all going through it," and "there's nothing to be done?" Imagine saying to them, "I know we're all going through this, because of the staffing challenges we're facing," and "I know there's not much to be done about this, but this is how I'm feeling." Would they accept your vulnerability? Would it make you feel bad to be vulnerable in that way? Would it make you feel worse to be vulnerable in that way or to say nothing?

That's not a leading question. Saying nothing is okay. There have been many times where I am facing a problem and I realized that doing nothing was the thing that made me feel best. There were other times when I really didn't want to do something and I knew it would be incredibly hard, but I knew I would feel much better having done it.

Think about your self-esteem and confidence. Why don't you feel confident? When you imagine saying no, and it feels bad, what makes it feel so bad? Is it because other people don't say no? Are you measuring yourself against those other people? How can you stop doing that? Or is it because you feel like a good worker always says yes? Where did you get that idea? Was it an idea communicated to you by people who love you? By society? Are there people who haven't made you feel that your worth as a person was predicated on how much you were able to accomplish? When is the last time you spent time with them? What makes you feel good about yourself? When is the last time you did it? Are there things you can do outside of work to boost your confidence? What are they? Can you do them? Why not? If work is holding you back from doing them, is it worth it?

It's okay if work feels worth it. I'm not endorsing the capitalist machine when I say that it is okay to do something that is really difficult or unpleasant for a certain amount of time to get where you are going. But if that's what you're going to do, then develop a plan of escape. Ask yourself how long you're willing to put up with this. Ask yourself what the next step in your career or life journey is. Ask yourself what you will put up with to get there and what is unacceptable. Write it down if you have to, then try to abide by that, and if you are unable to bear your plan six months down the line, make a new one.

I am fortunate in that these kinds of questions come really naturally to me, and I think they must not come so naturally for a lot of other people. Definitely, there are blocks in my mind; I'm not always able to understand myself or my own feelings; I don't know what's best for myself or how to make myself do things I want. But this kind of thinking is not going to give you immediate answers. Instead, it's going to build the skill of getting to know yourself.

The ultimate question you should be asking is "What will make me happy?" It sounds like a simple question, but it is in fact the most difficult of all. It is the question we struggle with every day, and every book that was ever written, every song that was ever sung, every painting that was ever painted is about that, in the end. The answer to that question is the meaning of life. Most people never find it, but the search is worth it.

It's definitely worth it.

[pralinesims]

Uhm, hi. Hello?

First of all, I am sorry for worrying some of you guys so much. I truly can't express how grateful I am to everyone sending me messages, trying to get in touch with me, supporting me, etc... I read all of your messages, I will try to reply to them piece by piece. I am so sorry that I can't do that immediately, but currently I am not in the capacity for that. Please forgive me, and know that your words reached my heart, I seriously mean it.

How should I start? Recent months were... Rough. Damn rough. Mentally, I've been the lowest I've ever been in my life. Even lower than usual. Bottom-pit low. It's uncomfortable talking about it, but it was... hazardous, if you understand. Won't say more about it. Around christmas holidays, my depression started getting more extreme. Main catalysts were probably the feelings of abandonment, issues with myself, loneliness + social disappointments, family deaths that happened, experienced sicknesses, world events, etc. All this stuff kept piling up with time, bad things never seemed to end, day by day I felt more awful and wanted to disappear. I also deleted all social media from my phone, plus I changed my phone number. I just was sick of everything.

After a few months of feeling like shit, I thought I would get a little bit better. Nope. Covid had to strike 2 of my immediate family members, and me. Worsening my mental health again, plus physical health after thinking I maybe recovered a bit. This put a real blow to my mental health once more, after desperately attempting for years to not catch it. And it still got me, while being 99% only at home. FML.

That virus lasted 3 around weeks, it was horrid. Had all kinds of different symptoms in a limbo, when thinking it would get better, it got worse again. Coughed like a madman, and still do. Some symptoms don't seem to disappear yet, even after testing negative for weeks now. My asthma got worse aswell, breathing is way harder and I get dizzy real fast.

I still don't feel good mentally at this moment, but at least not as severe, and a bit better to allow myself to go online a bit and interact here a little. Baby steps, right? I can't promise I will be online now all the time, but it's been first for me now since a few months. I realize I have to adjust to this again. Feels nice, and a bit scary too if I'm being honest. Kinda unfamiliar to do social stuff again. I really missed being here, but not being online also felt good. It was what I needed, everything else would have overwhelmed me.

Not everything was completely negative though, during my abstinence, I got into some new interests while trying to stay sane and keep myself distracted & occupied (or you could say, reawakened some old hobbies): I've really gotten into fragrances, baking, collecting dolls, decorating with flowers, and drinking tea. Yes, me. Some might remember my rants about tea tasting like warm water. During covid, after losing my taste and smell senses, I learned to appreciate softer taste profiles. I'm consuming almost every day something that contains tea leaves. Call that growth.

Anyways, thank you for reading this. I don't know how to end this, and this text just doesn't need to be longer. I'm so happy for you having interest in me as a person, and not only as a CC creator and Sims player. Much love to you 🤍

[frownyalfred]

I was sorry to see you dealing with so many critical comments in Borderline recently, mostly because I love that fic and I love seeing characters in complex situations making bad choices sometimes. But I ALSO wanted to say that the way you're handling it is very classy. I have been dealing with some terrible comments on my own fics lately, and I find myself going to your page to learn how to handle it in a way that's fair, without being overly reactive or targeting anyone. Sometimes I can't tell whether to delete a comment or not, or whether to respond to a criticism or not, especially when my own hurt feelings get in the way. It really helps to see how someone else deals with it in a wise and experienced fashion. So thank you for that. If you have any further tips, too, I'd love to hear them!

Thank you so much anon! And I'm really, truly sorry that you're also dealing with hurtful comments. Nobody deserves that, especially authors working for free to put content out there.

I appreciate this ask a lot since there have been many times in the last few months where I have blown up privately, been upset, considered nuking everything, and generally reacted very poorly to negative, condescending, backhanded, or downright abusive comments. I was not handling it well! I was feeling hurt, and definitely not wise!

I have some wise, wise writing friends though. And generally, after venting (quite understandably) I think most authors know, in their gut, how they want to respond to these kinds of comments.

My advice is as follows, and it's been what I've pieced together from friends and my own experiences in the last few weeks:

Stand by your fic and your choices. It's great to slightly alter your plot when people respond really positively to a character, for example, but don't let a crowd of angry commenters force your hand on any decision, whether it's small or large. Would you have removed that character if there hadn't been three comments about it?

Try to be the adult in the room. Even if you're not older than your commenters or readers, the rule still stands. Try not to sink to their level (barring some necessary cases) and get in the mud. You're the author and you have all the power! Mute them, block them, lock down your comments -- the only power they have is through commenting, and getting into your head. That's power you can give them, or take away from them.

Be honest about how the comments make you feel. A lot of times, I think authors layer their hurt in other, more acceptable reasons. It's okay to be hurt by a backhanded, but well-intentioned comment. Saying "I appreciate this comment but the way you phrased it hurt me for x reason" is a totally mature and realistic way to respond to comments like that. Or telling readers something like "Please don't yell at each other/the characters in my comments, it stresses me out and makes me feel like you're upset with the story and/or me" is what I ended up doing.

Don't get caught in the weeds. Delete the comments that make you upset. Really. You don't need to respond to every comment (I have several rants about this already) and if you do, you definitely don't need to respond to ones that make you sad, upset, etc. If deleting that weird comment or skipping over a reply will make you feel better, do it! I'm sure your readers would prefer you skip a response over you getting hung up on a mean comment and not writing.

Know when to walk away. I took a break from writing borderline because it was stressing me out. Like, my already-high blood pressure was getting higher. I took a month off and wrote other things, and when I was ready to put up a new chapter, the words came really quickly and I was inspired again <3 It's also 100% okay if you never come back to that fic or series again -- your mental health is always -- always -- more important.

6. (bonus) sometimes saying "fuck you" is better than anything else. Sometimes, the pettiness wins, and you're not the adult in the room. I get it. I've ranted a lot on here and posted a lot about (anonymized) comments I've received. So yeah, fuck you, random assholes commenting awful things to me about sexual assault -- one day I hope to find a way to block my fics from ever being read by you again.

Sorry this was a bit of a rant. If you ever want to talk, anon, my inbox/DMs are always open. I'm sorry again that you're receiving hateful comments -- you don't deserve it, and your work deserves to flourish on its own. I hope you keep repeating that to yourself <3

[keiththecat]

Admissible (Part Twelve)

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Female Reader (You)

Summary: You've always hunted alone. That is, until Bobby sends you on a hunt near the Winchester brothers. How will things change when they come to help?

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: 18+, series typical violence and monsters, weapons, cursing, groping/ almost sexual assault, self-doubt/ self-esteem issues, character death, injuries, hurt/comfort

Author's Note: Hi friends! Hope you're still with me. Updates have been sporadic (I'm so sorry!), but life has been kicking my behind. I haven't forgotten our story, I promise! It's still coming, just a bit slower than I would like. I appreciate you all so much for continuing to read! Let me know if you have any questions or anything! You can also find me on tumblr under the same name. Thanks so much for reading <3

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, or any of the related characters. The Supernatural series is created by Eric Kripke and owned by The CW Network. This work of fan fiction is for entertainment only. I am not making a profit of any kind from this story. All rights of the original Supernatural series belong to The CW Network.

Part One

AO3 link here

After a little more than 14 hours of Sam driving, following the Impala and only stopping for gas and snacks when necessary, you all stop in a small town in Ohio for the night. You slept for most of the drive, with Sam waking you at the stops to make sure you ate and took your pain medications when due. Dean pays for two rooms at the motel, one for the brothers and one for you. You stubbornly insist that you can take care of yourself for the night, but you leave your spare room key with the brothers just in case. Dean heads out for food for the three of you, muttering under his breath about “freakin’ health nuts with their rabbit food” when you told him just to get you whatever Sam orders.

You decide now is as good a time as any to attempt a shower. Or, as much of a shower as you are allowed to do since you shouldn’t use your right arm and can’t get your left thigh wet because of the stitches. You manage to get the sling off of your arm and the bandage off of your thigh when you realize that you can’t get your shirt off without help. You debate just cutting your shirt off, but even that will be incredibly difficult with only one hand. Sighing and admitting defeat, you grab your phone and dial Sam, who answers almost immediately.

“Y/N? You okay?,” Sam asks quickly, and you can hear running water in the background. He must have been in the shower himself.

“Yeah, I’m okay. I just- well-,” you take a deep breath, “this is embarrassing but I kind of need help getting undressed for a shower?” You ask, mentally crossing your fingers that this won’t be weird. Why would it be weird? Not like you’re asking the world’s hottest hunter to help you get naked or anything. You dumbass, Y/N, of course it’s going to be weird.

There are a few moments of silence from Sam on the other end of the phone, and you scramble to fix the awkward tension you’ve created. “You know what, I’m sorry, I can just do without. Or I can ask Dean-”

“No!” Sam cuts you off quickly. “No, don’t ask Dean. Just- I’ll help. Give me a minute and I’ll be over.”

“Thanks, Sam,” you say, hanging up the phone. You go through your duffel bag, grabbing a shirt, underwear, and a comfy pair of pants for after. You figure wrestling a shirt with your bad arm will be tough enough, let alone trying to wrestle with a bra, too. Plus, the thought of a bra squeezing your broken ribs gives you chills. 

As you’re making sure your shower supplies are where you’ll be able to reach them with your good hand, Sam knocks at your door and opens it. “Y/N? It’s me,” he says as he closes the door behind him. You exit the bathroom, finding him standing there in a tee and sweatpants, hair still wet, and he’s holding one of his plaid button-ups. “Thought a button-up shirt might be easier for you to get on after,” he explains, laying the shirt on the edge of your bed. 

How is he so thoughtful all the time? “Thank you, Sam,” you say. He rewards you with an adorably shy smile, dimples coming out of hiding.

“So- uh- how do you want to-,” he stumbles out, gesturing vaguely. 

“Right,” you clear your throat, snapping out of the hypnotic state his smile always seems to put you in. “Honestly if you can just cut this shirt down the back, I think I can manage from there. I don’t really want to lift my arms if I can avoid it.”

“Yeah, sure, I can do that,” he says. You turn around, giving him your back and you hear him open his switchblade. “Is it okay if I put my hand in your shirt?” he asks. You nod, feeling touched that he is still asking permission, even while doing you a huge favor. He pulls your shirt away from your back gently, sliding his hand with the knife up your shirt. You feel his knuckles skim down your back as he carefully cuts your shirt from top to bottom, blade facing away from you. You hear his breath catch as he reaches the end. “Damn,” he says under his breath.

“That bad, huh?” you ask, knowing that your back is likely more bruise than skin at this point.

“I don’t know how you managed to sit in the car for so long, let alone sleep,” he says forlornly. “Are you sure you’ll be able to shower?”

“I mean, I have one arm,” you say.

“And only one leg on top of a bunch of broken ribs,” Sam argues. “Not to mention, your face is so swollen, I’m surprised you can see. I wouldn’t mind helping you if you need it.”

You turn around, still holding the cut shirt against you. You search his eyes for a moment to see if he’s serious. There’s not a doubt in your mind that Sam would be respectful and only help with what you give explicit permission for him to do. “Only if you really don’t mind. Help would be nice,” you admit.

He nods and gives you a small smile, “alright then. Lead the way.”

You walk into the bathroom, Sam keeping a respectable distance behind you. Looking behind you, you see him turn to face the door, giving you as much privacy as he can while still being there to help. You turn on the water, undress as carefully as you can, and gently get into the shower. Being very mindful to keep your sutured wound out of the stream of water, you muddle through washing yourself, Sam filling the silence by talking about his journey following you across the country and pausing to check on you every few minutes. 

With your face and body clean, your hair is the only battle left to tackle. Turning so you’re facing away from the water, you interrupt Sam to ask if he would wash it for you. He agrees, asking if you’re ready and if you want him to use conditioner in your hair after the shampoo. With your permission, he moves the shower curtain just enough so that he can reach in with both hands. You verbally walk him through your normal hair routine, which he follows diligently, taking extra time to gently massage your head with his fingers and run them through your hair. Once your hair is cleaned, conditioned, and rinsed, he turns the water off. He politely wraps a towel around you before using another to dry your hair. You give Sam your thanks, and he steps out of the bathroom so you can get dressed, pulling the door shut behind him. With some struggling, you get your underwear and pants on. When you try to get your right arm into Sam’s extremely soft button-up, you wince and suck a breath in through your teeth, finding your muscles stiff and painful.

Gritting your teeth and treating it like ripping off a bandaid, you quickly get your right arm through the sleeve and then pull your arm back against your chest. You cradle it there with your good hand, bending over and breathing roughly through the pain radiating through your shoulder and ribs.

“Y/N? You okay?” Sam asks through the door, but you can hear his hand come to rest on the handle, ready to come in at a moment’s notice.

“Yeah,” you respond through your teeth. “Just having some trouble with the shirt. Give me a minute please.” 

You hear a knock at the room’s door, and you hear the muffled sounds of Sam talking to Dean. You focus on breathing as deeply and slowly as you can without increasing the pain, blinking tears away from your eyes. After several moments, you straighten up, getting your good arm into the shirt’s other sleeve and pulling the sides of the shirt together in the front. Dean is gone by the time you open the bathroom door, and Sam is setting two salads on the table, one for you and one for him. 

Registering you entering the room, Sam looks up and gives you a smile. “Food’s here,” he says, then you see him realize that you’re holding the shirt closed. “Need help with the buttons?” he asks.

“Please,” you nod, grateful that he is so attentive and caring.

He steps closer, buttoning the shirt from top to bottom and then helping you get your right arm into your sling. He guides you to one of the chairs at the table, telling you to eat, and he starts combing through your hair with his fingers. As you eat your salad, Sam continues playing with your hair, humming a song by The Smiths under his breath. By the time you are finished with your food, your hair is in a neat braid and secured with a band from around his wrist. You gently sit back in your chair, wincing when your back initially touches but settling into it regardless, as Sam comes around you to sit in the other chair and eat his salad.

“Where’d you learn how to braid?” you ask.

He shrugs, “I like when my hair is played with, so I used to play with Jess’ hair in college. Just kind of taught myself. I used to braid her hair while I studied.”

“That’s really cute, Sam,” you admit. He smiles, looking a little shy while he takes another bite of food.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, you ask “so still no word from Castiel?” He shakes his head no. “Does he disappear often? Should we be worried?”

“He has done this before,” Sam admits. “Sometimes it’s bad and sometimes he’s just off doing his own thing. We’ll go back to the bunker, see if he left a note or something.” 

You nod, humming. “I’m sure he’ll be okay.”

Finishing his food, Sam stands and throws away all of the trash from both of your meals. “I’m sure he will be. And I know it might be selfish, but I just wish he could be here to heal you so you weren’t in so much pain.”

“How in the world is that selfish, Sam? You’re wishing something for my sake,” you argue.

“Well- but- if he’s in trouble or hurt-”

“Sam,” you stop him, standing and coming to stand in front of him, placing your left hand on his cheek so he will look at you, “that is the complete opposite of selfish. You are not a selfish person for wishing for something that will benefit someone else. You are so sweet and helpful and completely selfless, and I wish you could see that like I do.”

A moment passes, you and Sam looking into each other’s eyes. You notice his eyes bounce down to your lips, and you gently guide him to lean down to you. Your lips meet, his hands coming to rest on your hips lightly. He pulls away slightly, you both still breathing in the same air. “I don’t want to hurt you any more than you already are, Y/N,” he quietly admits. You nod, understanding. He straightens, giving your hips a very gentle squeeze before pulling his hands away, and you drop your hand back to your side. “Will you be okay tonight?” he asks.

“Honestly, if you don’t mind, I’ll feel safer if you stayed,” you admit.

His shoulders seem to relax, as if he was holding tension there at the thought of leaving you, even if he would only be next door. He agrees to stay, helping you get into bed and making sure to fluff the pillows around you to support you. He sends a text to Dean, letting him know he’s staying in your room, before he turns out the light and crawls into bed beside you. Feeling his warmth beside you and trusting that you are as safe as you could possibly be at the moment, you fall asleep almost immediately.

[buckyseddie]

made for each other

pairings — jj maybank x fem!kook!reader, featuring bff!kiara carrera x bff!fem!kook!reader and bff!sarah cameron x bff!fem!kook!reader

summary — in which, they don't like each other until they learn about each other's trauma and they become something else entirely.

word count — 3.9k words.

warnings — enemies to friends to lovers trope, kie and sarah are her best friends, use of pet-names [sweetheart, baby], bickering, angst, fluff, reader is a kook but she lives at kie's house with her, reader isn't in her parents life but jj doesn't know this, reader is really nice and genuine, jj's really mean in this sorry, abusive parents, jj calls reader a bitch, love confession from jj, both of them being in denial of their feelings, john b is the leader of their relationship, reader has self-image and self-confidence issues, reader calls jj by his last name a few times, cuddles, forehead kisses, the reader kisses jj but it's like a peck, everyone's super supportive, small mentions of mental health.

notes — hey guys!! i'm rewatching obx, so i decided to write out one of the jj requests i got, so here it is. quick thing, i know it was requested that the reader is a pogue, but i changed her to be a kook so that it works with the storyline i'm writing for this fic! also, i know it was requested that none of the pogues like the reader, but i changed that a little. i hope this is okay because i felt that it would make more sense. i hope you enjoy it and sorry about the minor changes! gif and divider creds to owner!

p.s., feedback is very much encouraged and appreciated <3.

main masterlist

SOMETIMES, SHE REALLY HATED HIM.

like right now.

she didn't know what she did to make him hate her so much.

[y/n] is probably one of the sweetest people anyone could ever meet — despite everything she's been through.

and [y/n] has done nothing to him — she's been so genuinely sweet to him the entire time, ever since they met.

but, since they've met, jj has only been cruel to her.

she'd been hanging out with the pogues, like she always has.

although, today was the first time that jj was around — anytime she was around, jj would make up an excuse to not hang out with his friends.

but, this time, john b was forcing him to hang out with her around.

john b didn't say a word about having to be nice, though.

and the second [y/n] said something that he could make a comment about, he did.

and boy, did it do more than hurt her feelings.

he made some messed up comment about her using kiara, for staying at her house.

[y/n] scoffs with tears in her eyes, before she stands up to walk away.

"wait, [y/n]!" kiara calls before she can leave.

she shakes her head. "no, i'm not fucking taking this shit anymore. i've tried to be nice, even though he's an ass every damn time," she says angrily, motioning to jj, who's shrugging and smirking. "i'm done trying to prove myself to him."

and with that, she walks off.

she refuses to let him see her reaction to his comment, so she hurries to grab her stuff from the house, before she gets into her car and starts it and gets the hell out of there.

once she's gone, everyone turns to jj.

"what?" jj asks in defense, rolling his eyes at the frustrated look in kiara's eyes.

"why in the hell did you do that?!" she exclaims, walking over to him and smacking him on the head.

jj doesn't say anything, he just shrugs.

sarah scoffs. "you know, if you really knew her and what she's been through, you wouldn't hate her so much."

"so? she's a kook!" jj yells, raising his hands up in the air.

john b rolls his eyes. "yeah, and so is kie and sarah! but, they're nothing like those other asshole supremacists."

jj just shakes his head, refusing to accept that she's different, or to feel bad for being such a jerk.

—————

IT'S BEEN A FEW WEEKS, since the situation with jj.

and [y/n] hasn't spoken to anyone since.

although, one part of the reason why she wasn't hanging out with anyone wasn't just because of the fact that she was angry at jj — it was also because of her parents.

[y/n] was running low on a lot of things she needed.

and she already felt bad enough as it is, for borrowing some of kiara's things — she offered anything she needed without any hesitation.

so, she really had no choice.

it would be easy — kiara's parents were out and kiara herself was out with the pogues, and she'd only be there for a few minutes.

and of course she wasn't going to walk through the front door — that'd be stupid.

there's a built in ladder on the side of the house near her window.

so, when she got there — she walked, to not bring attention to herself — she sneaked over to said-ladder and quietly climbed up the ladder.

when she was near her window, she leaned against the ladder and tried with all of her might to quietly open her window.

when she did, she clumsily climbed inside, accidentally falling loudly onto the floor.

there wasn't enough time to gather her stuff and get out of there before her parents could find her.

panic filled her when her door creaked open and in walked in her father.

needless to say, things got really bad after that.

when she got back to the carrera's house, she locked herself inside the guest room — where she's been sleeping in.

she's currently leaning her back against the room's door, panicking with her hands shaking, while she tries to figure out how she's going to hide this.

the worst part is that she couldn't even get more stuff — she had to get out of there before anything else happened.

but, a loud knock and some yells at the front door shakes her out of her scared and stressed daze.

after realizing that no one else is home to answer, [y/n] shakily rushes over to the door, anxiety filling her.

"come on! open up!"

that voice makes her even more anxious — it's jj.

after [y/n] started ignoring everyone, kiara lectured him and told him that he needed to go apologize to her — he didn't dare say no because there's nothing more scary than the carrera girl when she's angry.

knowing that he's not going to stop until she listens, she takes in a deep breath, before she opens the door.

jj is shocked, to say the least, when he sees her face filled with bruises.

"what the fuck? where did you get those?"

[y/n] scoffs. "why? don't tell me you care." she sneers, crossing her arms over her chest.

"i may not like you, but that doesn't mean i'm heartless."

[y/n] ignores his words, leaning against the doorway. "why are you even here, jj? did you come back for a fight?" she questions angrily.

"no. kie wanted me to apologize." his voice is small and his eyes are cast to the ground.

"okay?" she says, laughing in frustration. "just tell her you did it and go."

he scoffs, shaking his head and looking away. "why are you being such a bitch?"

she snorts in disbelief. "why am i being one? seriously, jj?"

[y/n] scoffs when he shakes his head in clear confusion. "i've been nice, jj!" she exclaims, shaking her head at him with tears filling her eyes.

she clears her throat and shakes her head, tilting her head back and shutting her eyes to rid them of the tears.

then, she opens her eyes again and takes a deep breath.

"jj... " she trails off, gulping. "i have tried to be nice, okay? i have been nothing but nice. and you've just been cruel to me from the moment we met — every single chance you got."

guilt fills jj — he never really thought about the consequences of his actions.

in the past, jj never cared about the kooks. and he had no problem voicing that. especially spoiled and snotty ones.

but, now? well, it's been extremely hard, trying to tell the difference between the kooks that are just trying to live and can't help who they are and the ones that see themselves as more superior than anyone else.

a shaky sigh leaves his lips. "i'm sorry, okay? i... shouldn't have said those things to you. and especially what i said about you using kie — that was wrong."

"whatever, jj." she mumbles, not looking at him.

she backs away, moving to shut the door in his face. "just go, jj."

"wait!" he calls, stepping forward.

"no, jj. just... tell kie that you apologized and we can lie our asses off, saying that we're good, okay?" she mutters and backs further into the room, before shutting the door.

jj stands on the porch for a straight ten minutes, speechless and trying to figure out what the hell just happened.

—————

SHE SPENT DAYS LOCKED INSIDE the guest room.

but eventually, things got too complicated.

despite the fact that jj spends most of his time at the chateau, [y/n] moves out of the carrera's house and to john b's place.

jj was sleeping in the chateau, while [y/n] had just been sleeping on the hammock, outside.

and boy, were things tense and awkward between them.

[y/n] was doing everything she could to avoid jj, and jj was filled with guilt and trying to figure out what to do to fix things.

because despite how much he acted like he hates her, it was a lie.

maybe in the past, he could've lied and said that it was because of her being a kook.

but, that's not true — not anymore.

now, it's clear as day that he hated her because of how he feels about her.

"dude, are you going to talk to her?" john b asks, lightly tapping his leg in order to try to get his attention.

jj and john b had been sitting outside, quietly talking, but jj had been watching the quiet kook the entire time.

john b shakes his shoulder.

"huh? what?" jj asks confusedly, turning to face his best friend.

john b chuckles, rolling his eyes at him. "dude. you can't lie any longer — not to us and not to yourself."

"what are you talking about?" jj knits his eyebrows together in confusion.

"look, the only reason we let this fighting between the two of you go on for as long as it did is because everyone can see it." john b says, shrugging his shoulder.

"what the hell are you even talking about, bro?" jj questions, shoving him.

"the connection, jj! no matter how much you wanna deny it, there's something going on between you two."

"excuse me?" he asks, beginning to stand up.

john b stands up with him and grabs his shoulder.

"look, i'm not trying to, like, gang up on you or anything," he says, before nodding over to [y/n], who's staring numbly at the sun and nature. "but, you gotta be honest with yourself — and with her."

jj follows his nod, noticing the lonely girl sitting on the hammock.

"you've hurt her enough. be better — for her. if you don't want to admit your feelings, that's fine. but, she deserves a genuine apology from you and not that bullshit one you pulled at kie's last week."

jj sighs quietly, but nods.

john b claps him on the shoulder, before backing up towards the door. "just do right by her, alright, buddy?"

[y/n] quickly notices how quiet it is now — she could tell before that the boys were outside from the quiet talking coming from them.

she looks up and notices jj walking over to her.

her eyes widen and her mouth falls open in surprise and anxiety as she quickly turns away, mentally freaking out.

what did he want now? hasn't he done enough?

"hey." he says, sitting down on the opposite side of her on the hammock.

rolling her eyes, she looks up at him and asks, "what do you want, jj?"

a dumbfounded look forms on his face. "w—what do you mean? i don't want anything," he stutters as he awkwardly pats the part of the hammock that's under his hand. "i just wanna lie down on this cool-ass hammock with you."

she scoffs.

"cut the bullshit, jj." she says tightly, her stare going so straight through him from her trying to figure out what he wants.

they share a moment of tense eye contact, until jj finally breaks first.

he sighs, and glances down at his now fidgeting hands. "i... just want to fix all of this tension between us."

jj's gaze stays on his hands, while [y/n] sits and watches him for a straight minute.

"i don't believe you." she says, not daring to look away as he looks back up at her.

something in his eyes startles her — she can't quite place her finger on what it is, but it feels like it could bring her entire world crumbling down.

"it's the truth! i swear." he says in response, his voice almost defensive.

she ignores the pleading tone of his voice and bites her bottom lip, not quite sure to believe him.

"seriously, jj. i... " she trails off, ignoring the tears and trying to push down anything that could expose her real feelings. "i'm sick of this, okay?"

regret fills jj's eyes as he quietly listens, hands still shaking.

"this drama between us? all because of my kook status? i can't deal with it — i refuse to."

she takes a deep breath. "so, let's just call this good. we're good and you don't have to feel bad for me anymore — you can tell the rest of the group that you did what they asked."

something about her words bothers jj.

i mean, sure he's been cruel to her.

but, more than anything, it was to hide and ignore the hidden feelings that were growing and eating away at him.

"no." he says sharply.

[y/n]'s eyebrows knit together in confusion and surprise. "no?"

"no," he confirms and moves to stand up, leaving her by herself on the hammock. "we're not doing this."

she scoffs, moving to stand up too. "what do you mean no? doing what?"

he motions between the both of them. "this. this fucking back and forth of acting like there's nothing wrong."

she rolls her eyes. "jj, seriously—"

he holds up his hand again, and this time, she listens.

with that, she crosses her arms over her chest and waits for him to continue.

jj scoffs. "and it turns out, john b was right."

"what? right about what?" she asks in confusion as she watches him pace.

"jj, seriously," she calls out to him and steps forward, touching one of his shoulders with one of her hands. "what is this about?"

he stops and turns to her and takes a deep breath.

"it's about the fact that you think that i hate you."

she furrows her eyebrows together and drops her hand from his shoulder.

jj takes notice of the removed feeling of her hand on his shoulder.

"but, you do hate me." she states, as if it's the obvious, matter-of-fact answer.

he scoffs, running his hands through his hair roughly. "no, i don't."

"what?" she scoffs, shaking her head at him.

"i don't know what you're trying to say, or what fucked up game you're trying to play right now, but i'm not interested in being a part of it anymore." she mumbles, starting to walk past him.

but, just before she can, he turns and gently grabs her arm and stops her from walking any further away.

"don't go, yet, alright?" he says quietly, waiting for her to turn around.

she holds her breath, staring ahead, but frozen in her place.

"just... let me talk and say this, okay?" he asks, holding his breath in stress.

sighing in defeat, she turns around and stares at him pointedly.

"okay," she says, raising her hands up when he lets go of her arm. "talk then, maybank."

he nods quietly, for a moment, before he decidedly leads her over to the deck.

when they're sat down and he's been silent for too long, she rolls her eyes and says, "you wanna tell me what this is about now?"

"right!" he says in realization as he turns to face her.

"i don't hate you, okay?" he says seriously, causing her to open her mouth to argue.

he holds a hand up. "let me explain first."

with another defeated sigh, [y/n] nods and motions for him to continue.

"john b just helped me realize this, but i... never hated you — i don't think i ever could."

his words shock her, causing her to look up at him with tears in her eyes.

"so... you made me think that you hated me?" she asks in defense, scoffing.

he opens his mouth to explain, but she cuts him off and stands up, "do you have any idea what you've put me through?" she exclaims, laughing in disbelief when he stands up to stop her from continuing.

"i thought that i did something wrong to make you hate me! do you even know how many sleepless and restless nights i stayed up with sarah and kie? how many nights i cried and cried because i didn't know what i did that was so wrong that i deserved how you treated me?!"

jj sighs in defeat, deflating a little bit.

"so? why did you treat me like that?" she questions, too calm, even with the anger she was just displaying — a clear, tell-tale sign that she must be really mad.

jj's breathless. "i didn't realize it until now," he starts, keeping his eyes downcast.

"but... " he looks up at her this time and slowly and cautiously walks over to her.

slowly, he lifts his shaking hands up to her hands and holds them.

[y/n] slowly drags her eyes down to their connected hands.

"jj... " she gulps, before her eyes look back up at his nervous ones.

"i never hated you, [y/n]. it was the opposite."

she takes a deep breath. "you... you can't be possibly saying what i think you are."

he nods quietly.

"i am," he confirms, walking even closer to her, until there's not that much space between them anymore. "i tried to bury my feelings — i wanted to convince everyone and myself that what i felt for you was just blind hatred."

"but, that's not true."

tears fill her eyes and she shakes her head, not wanting to believe it for even a second.

"no," she shakes her head even more. "no, no, no." she mutters, backing away and pulling her hands out of and away from his.

the tears fall to her cheeks. "no, jj. this... " she points between them. "this is cruel — this is a whole other level of cruel that i didn't think that you'd do to me."

she shakes her head again as jj steps forward.

"sweetheart, i swear this isn't a game. it's nothing like that." he says, stepping forward as she tries to ignore the butterflies in her stomach after hearing that pet-name he just used to address her.

"then, what is it? because i know there's no way someone good like you could ever love or like someone like me!" she exclaims, the tears blinding her vision.

jj stops short, his heart stopping for a brief moment from the second he heard those words come out of her mouth.

"what?" he asks in shock, eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

she scoffs again. "you heard me correctly, maybank." she says tightly, frowning as she looks down and away from him.

"do you have any idea what you mean to me, [y/n]?" he asks softly as he walks over to her and lifts her chin up with his fingers.

her mouth falls open as she looks at him. "what are you talking about, jj? what do i mean to you? who am i to you?" she asks in a murmur, but he hears her clearly.

he speaks with no hesitation, even if it sounds cheesy and corny and he'd never say it to anyone else, "you're the girl i love."

a quiet gasp sounds from her lips, causing him to chuckle softly.

"you can't really mean that." she says tightly, still in shock.

"i do. i swear i'm not lying — this isn't a game to me." he says seriously, moving his hands to hold her face in his hands.

a shaky breath leaves her lips, before she finds the courage to speak, "jj, if you really mean that — and i mean, really mean it — there's no going back, if we go through with any of this."

he nods. "i know."

"and... " she trails off, preparing for what she's about to say next. "and you really mean all of this?"

he nods again.

another shaky breath leaves her lips and the tears spill as she nods herself.

"okay."

"okay?" he asks, confused and fully expecting her to reject him.

she nods in acknowledgement. "i can't promise that things will be easy with me. i have issues, just like you, and i won't change myself for anyone."

he chuckles. "i'm not going to ask you to do that."

"okay." she nods, moving one of her hands up to one of his and anxiously intertwines them together.

"let's do this then, yeah?" he asks breathlessly and pulls her towards him gently, leading her to walk away from the chateau and to god knows where.

—————

JJ CHUCKLES IN AMUSEMENT AS he notices the girl's obvious, anxious nerves.

"you're going to be fine." he says, soothing her by rubbing her arms gently.

[y/n] groans, clenching her eyes shut in further stress.

"i just don't think they're going to react well to this news, jj!" she whines, turning to face him and letting her head fall into his chest as her groans of distress quickly become muffled.

he laughs and gently lifts her head up and cups her cheeks, a soft glint in his eyes. "it's going to be fine, baby, okay?"

she sighs, pouting for a straight minute as he smiles down at her.

"if they make any comments, i'll make them regret it." he says seriously, causing her to raise her eyebrows at him.

"they're our friends. i kind of find that hard to believe." she says seriously, laughing at his reaction.

he rolls his eyes and kisses her forehead.

"just trust me, alright?" he murmurs when he pulls away from her.

she sighs in defeat. "fine."

she frowns as he leads her inside the chateau.

he leads her into the living room, where everyone else is hanging out in.

the conversation stops immediately as they stop in the room, all of their eyes immediately landing on their joined hands.

john b doesn't look shocked at all as he smirks in approval.

"so, you finally did it, huh?" he asks, getting up and clapping his best friend on the shoulder.

jj laughs as [y/n] turns to face him with a shocked look on her face.

"what does that mean?" she asks with suspicion clear in her voice.

john b chuckles. "last week, before jj came over to talk to you, i finally got jj realize how he really feels about you."

her face fills with realization as she nods, but doesn't say anything.

she turns back around to look at everyone else.

cleo and pope look at her with a look of nonchalance, almost as if they expected this to happen, sooner or later.

sarah and kiara share a look, both smirking at each other.

then, they both get up and run over to their friend, throwing their arms over her body and jumping and giggling in excitement.

"i knew it!" kiara exclaims excitedly, with a big smile.

sarah laughs and agrees.

[y/n] rolls her eyes.

"so, you guys really don't care?" she asks, glancing at all of them.

pope snorts. "why would we? we've been waiting for this moment for too long."

cleo nods, gently poking pope. "it's about time y'all got together."

jj simply laughs, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and pulling her to one of the empty couches to cuddle on.

"see? you had no reason to be nervous." he murmurs into her ear, kissing her cheek as she makes herself comfortable in his embrace.

she rolls her eyes at him and turns to kiss him lightly, before pulling away and lying her head on his chest. "fine. you were right."

his chest rumbles with prideful laughs, but before he can say anything, she interrupts him, "don't even say it. you're lucky i like you."

he laughs again. "well, you're lucky that i like you."

she ignores the cheers and teasing comments from their friends as they all settle back into their seats and observe them, just appreciating the moment with her boyfriend.

[araedi]

I promised an update on my life/activity and stuff, so here it is! I’ll stuff it all under the cut but the tldr is I’m still here just on a super slow. I’m always down for chats and interactions as long as you’re cool with that!

I’m quite private about myself online so gonna keep this brief (lol watch me do anything but), but I feel like I keep circling back to apologising every few months for not being here enough then punishing myself over it when I’m not magically active again. It’s ultimately a hobby but I still feel bad that people writing with me could be feeling let down/ignored, so I wanted to drop this rather than keep on cycling the same apology until it feels hollow.

Life’s a Lot right now: I’m currently juggling two part time jobs, pretty much full household responsibilities for three people, night-school with essays, and an emotionally intensive placement as part of my training which also involves paperwork. Home life is also less than ideal (won’t go into details). On top of this, I have chronic health problems alongside chronic pain so most days I’m just crabby and exhausted; my mental health could be better but rn it just feels like I’m treading water to get to a place where I’ll have fewer commitments.

Ultimately rp and writing/creative stuff in general is part of how I unwind so I’ll always be around because this outlet is so rewarding, but as it stands I’m just so mentally and pysically drained that when I do have the time I’d rather just switch my brain off and play a bit of a game and have a sliver of social life than try to force out writing which is gonna be sub-par. I’ve been feeling kinda down about my writing for a bit and just feel like I’m giving the same post over and over, which also isn’t helpful!

As for my activity and where y’all fit: I’m still around and intend to be; still responding to DM’s on Discord or IM’s on here (unreliable though they are -_-) just being ridiculously slow with replies and popping reblogs or replies out just as and when. I’m not the type to up and quit, hell I’ve been on this blog for years so I’m going nowhere, just on the go-slow with the odd spurt of like 3-5 replies.

Of course I 100% understand if this weird unpredictable activity doesn’t fit for you: we all have different needs and expectations with this hobby and if me only showing up now and again isn’t gonna work that’s totally ok and you don’t have to follow or write with me: it’s been a blast knowing you!

If you’re chill to stick around and deal with my slowness, please know I WILL get to replies, even if it’s at glacial pace. I’ll post a shot of my tracker/a list up in the future so I can be 100% on what I owe and know you can always check in with me/hold me accountable for stuff. Please know you can ALWAYS drop stuff in my ask boxes, whether it’s memes or questions for muses or just crack. It always puts a smile on my face <3 if I received it I’ll reply to it, so barring just a few memes I have nothing else waiting!

This all being said I would LOVE to build up more long term/in-depth character relationships and sustained interactions over multiple threads. I love getting to know my rp partners beyond the muses – it’s just that right now it’ll take six times as long to get anywhere. My door’s open for any chats r.e. any muses here or on the multi.

If you need my disco handle just ask/reply here or whatever and I can send it; if you need to get in touch for any reason and can’t seem to get through to me, just send a ping to the bestie Benevolentgodloki c:

If you read all this and are ok with sticking around know that you have my undying love lmao; I know it isn’t easy trying to build anything with someone who only posts once in a blue moon so your patience is appreciated and I’ll always appreciate having people to come back to on here <33

[star1117-archives]

𝐁𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐚 𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐨𝐬𝐚 - 𝐒. 𝐌𝐆

Part of the Mental health comforts series

♕ pairing: song mingi x gn!reader

♕ genre: hurt/comfort (?)

♕ w/c: 697

♕ cw + tw: vomiting, bulimia nervosa, intimacy, crying, profanity

♕ a/n: please DNI if this could possibly be triggering for you <3

MINGI SIGHED AS YOU STOOD UP, WIPING A STRAY BIT OF DROOL FROM YOUR MOUTH BEFORE MOVING TO THE SINK TO WASH YOUR HANDS.

The silence between you two was almost tangible, made even more apparent by your shallow breathing and the running water. Washing your hands and face, you grabbed the mouthwash from the side and gargled it for a second, hoping to wash away the dread setting your heart as well as the bad taste.

It felt wrong to see Mingi this quiet, even if you knew he was watching you intently from the corner of his eye. Unable to bear the feeling, you turned away, taking a towel and patting your face and hands dry. It almost felt as if your throat was closing up. You gritted your teeth and swallowed before putting the towel back.

Just as you were about to leave the bathroom in shame, a strong pair of arms wrapped around you, pulling you into a backhug. Mingi had been careful to not press his hands into your stomach, knowing it would still be sensitive, and pressed a kiss to your shoulder, nestling in it soon after.

“It’s not your fault.”

Chuckling quietly, the sound was devoid of happiness as you pressed a kiss to Mingi’s arm, leaning on it appreciatively as you spoke.

“If it’s not mine, who’s is it then?”

Mingi sighed and turned you around slowly, pushing a hair out of your face and cupping your cheeks. His expression seemed hurt as he responded, as if your pain was his.

“You’re perfect just the way you are, Y/N. I hate them for ever making you think you’re not.”

His tone was serious as he leaned closer, gaze stony as his face tensed. You could already feel the tears stinging your eyes once again.

“I’ll hate them with my every breath until I die, because they made the love of my life feel this way.”

You sniffled at this, tears welling as Mingi stroked his thumbs over your cheeks. He wiped away the first tear that fell, kissing your forehead with a small smile. All you could do was shake uncontrollably in his arms.

“We’re gonna get through this, together. Whatever it takes, I’m gonna be here for you.”

You nodded quietly at his words, letting your face fall into his chest as you sobbed uncontrollably. He held you closer to him, stroking your back and pressing small kisses to your head as you tried to speak through the tears.

“I tried Mingi, I-I really tried.. I just- I can’t f-fucking do it!”

He shook his head and stroked a few hairs out of your ear, pressing a kiss to the lobe before murmuring in it softly.

“I know Angel, and you did so well. Now we’re gonna try, m’kay? And we’re gonna beat this, together.”

♕ SFW Taglist !! ♕

@agustd-essert @hyuckilstan @a-soft-hornytiny @like-a-butterfly1026 @artemis-in-your-area @violetwinters @lynnsqueendom @galaxybam2 @yunhobabygurl @multidreams-and-desires @starlightracha @deja-vux @itbecina @anpanseok @mingitheii @vilavixg @mrcarrots @the-answer-is-love-yrself @effulgentfireflies @ateezbabysitters @meowmeowminnie @soft-teddybear @reaperhwa @a1sh1teruu @fantasy2wonderland @xuxibelle @dazzlingligth @simeonswhore @neocuddlytechnology @greenymar @owjohny @xye-weirdo @jwnghyuns @plutoneu @m4rsluv @anowamij @minkysmilk @softkpopplace @yeosxxx @k1ayla @jinsfavoritedoll @waezennie @juniesfics

Apply for the taglists here -> ♕

[theothernads]

ᶜʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ³: 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐅𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐊𝐘𝐒<𝟑 ʏᴊᴡ

𝘖𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘴 Y.JW. By 𝙙𝙞𝙢𝙡𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩01 (wattpad)

-an 𝙀𝙉𝙃𝙔𝙋𝙀𝙉 fanfic

-𝗦𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀 <3

Yn believed in logic. Jungwon believed in understanding his emotions. Their friends knew they would get into petty arguments. All in all, they desire a successful university life, away from their past and families. However, when murders appear in the premises of their own school, and the past comes back to meet them, they find a link and team up with their logic and emotions to find out the culprit and resume their normal lives. But, no one guaranteed their safety and their feelings for each other.

ʚɞ Pairing: Yang Jungwon × female reader

Ft. Enha, Le Sserafim, Bangtan, TXT, Newjeans

Smau+ written

⚠️𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜: swearing, murder, obsession, mental disorders +health, suicide, family problems, not all members are good, kys jokes, sexual jokes, suggestive lol.

ᵀᵃᵍˡⁱˢᵗ: ᵒᵖᵉⁿ

(just comment/ask)

3.9k words

< m.list >

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

THE THURSDAY MORNING YOU WENT BACK INTO SCHOOL WAS PEACEFUL.

Yunjin was at dance club this early in the morning, so you were walking into campus by yourself. English was in a few minutes, and so you decided to go pick her up from the dance studio.

You tried to drop the idea of the murder circulating on the news and sauntered through the halls whilst you gripped your phone.

Students chattered normally as you checked your phone, seeing an email saying, 'CLUBS'.

Curious, you tapped on it and it ended up saying how sign-ups for the clubs were happening tomorrow. It would allow some extracurricular activities which would 'bedazzle' someone's resumé, and also would help out at the fundraiser happening some point this month.

You sighed, shutting off your phone only to see the same exact message on the main school bulletin board, the poster summarising better than the email.

Perhaps a club wasn't so bad. Maybe it could decorate your skills. You shrugged and sauntered to the busy dance studio.

Music blared from inside, the melody becoming more audible the more you neared the doors. The Thursday sounded much more energetic that what you felt on this school morning.

Not 5 minutes after, the music absfuptly stopped; she came out whilst zipping up her crimson jacket and waving to you with an eye-smile.

"Let's go~," Yunjin sang and pulled you along with her.

"How do you even get energy to dance in the morning?" You sighed. She replied with a chuckle.

"Well, we have no other time where our schedules line up. I know Kazuha has law when we finish English," Yunjin said casually, and she started talking about her dance and the moves they were doing.

You were listening intently, you really were. However, you were pulled away from the course of the conversation when you saw a few intrusive gazes pricking your figure. Not just yours, but also Yunjin.

Glancing around, you then heard the whispers passing by the students and your heart felt a sting of anxiety. What the hell were they looking at?

"Yun?" You snapped her out of her talk, making her glimpse at your concerned expression.

"Call me crazy, but is everyone staring at us?" You asked her quietly, shying away from the gazes of others. With a swift look, she did indeed see that people were glimpsing at you and her, as if to confirm your identity before falling into complete shock.

"Yeah, you're not crazy. It's happening. But why..?" Yunjin replied, voice shrinking down as you listened. You gave a shrug and headed over to English, trying to block out the not-so subtle stares.

At least they could have been more secretive about it- this whole attention caused the type of warmth in your cheeks that came from humiliation. Something you loathed feeling.

Yunjin pretended not to notice as she linked arms with yours, wanting to also move on with the day without her ears tinting pink. You appreciated her comforting touch, and walked towards the English classroom.

Not before you turned a corner and bumped into someone. More like 2 people- ones that made you scowl.

Minhee and Han.

Both of them returned an insipid glare, making you step back from them, and Yunjin rolled her eyes.

"Well, well, well... if it isn't Yn... surprised to see you here," Minhee started, voice dipped in venom in an attempt to intimidate you.

Turns out that even university kids could be absolute pricks with their personalities being more thorny than ever.

With a sigh, you quirked an eyebrow at this sudden statement. "What do you want?"

"Hey- don't get sassy on me, I just wasn't expecting to bump into you and Yunjin."

Yunjin clicked her tongue, grinding her teeth before speaking. "What the fvck is that supposed to mean? Why wouldn't we be in school?"

Minhee and Han give a little face of realisation, fake epiphany as they looked at each other with a secret conversation between their eyes. Han turned to you, to both of you, to reply.

"I mean, after all that, I wonder why the school let you come back." Han smirked a little, causing the confusion to cloud your fraught thoughts.

"What do you mean?" You glared at him again with confusion. What did they even mean by that? What could they possibly be thinking of that made them conclude you wouldn't be allowed back at school?

Minhee chuckled and crossed her arms, brown eyes scanning yours meticulously to see that you were genuinely lost at sea from their words. Sighing, she stopped grinning.

"Don't act dumb. You were at the crime scene, right?" Minhee accused.

Your heart froze a little and Yunjin visibly stilled as if she wasn't breathing. With bewilderment, you just stared at Minhee.

This must be a joke...

"That must mean, yes?"

"How did you even hear-?"

"People talk," Minhee abruptly said, cutting you off. She scoffed. "Like you talked, didn't you?"

Fvck. Your eyes flickered, remembering you told Minji, Chae and Heeseung yesterday. It was the matter of which one actually revealed it. You still stayed silent, and you could feel Yunjin staring at you.

"Who the fvck told you anyway?" You snapped back at her, making her glare momentarily.

"Who? I heard it start in the computer science majors. They seemed hot about the topic, and I just couldn't help but stop by their table. And they mentioned the crime scene."

Now who the fvck was in computer science and how did they attain the information you passed on? The regret bit back at you harshly, gnawing at your brain as you kept your teeth clenched.

"Yn, you told someone?" Yunjin asked softly, not mad, but rather a bit apprehensive.

"I.. I told Minji, Chaewon and...." you stopped talking, and then your fists clenched.

"Heeseung."

For the life of him, Heeseung could never sew his mouth shut- why did you even trust him? He may not tell a throng of people through a megaphone, but he would run his mouth to one of his other mates in the other classes.

The betrayal anchored you a little before feeling your own fingers fiddle with the corroded surface of your green nails.

"I mean, why the school let you in? They haven't even completed the investigation and you're back in school? That's bizarre," Han added on, pondering with insincerity.

The urge to cuss at them shot up exponantially, but you kept your lips shut and now, you just want to get to class without the mass of people throwing their arrows of accusation at you.

"Maybe because we didn't do it?" you retorted to the two. They didn't make sense- at all. Oh gosh, this was everything you didn't want in the week.

Minhee and Han struggle to stop smiling and their grins stay prominent.

"Oh please, you just conveniently found a dead body?" Minhee taunted, stepping forward a little. You're not wavering and you stood your ground with the firm glare.

"Unfortunately so. But we didn't do it. There's no evidence to point to that. Thought you should know that from how much you run your mouth about taking law," you remarked, the bitterness stinging your tone.

Her gaze flashed with plain irritation at your words. "Watch your words with me- what are you? Some psychologist? A poet? I could be the one ruining your life later on."

"From what? Get a grip, Minhee," you muttered back to her, not leaving any stone of your anger unturned. Han and Yunjin watched whilst you and Minhee give verbal rebuttal to each other.

"Watch it, yn. You're getting so mad over the truth," Minhee scoffed, tilting her head. And it did piss you off, your chest tightening with curses and frustration.

"Well guess what? We're not suspects, none of us are."

And you nudge past her shoulder with Yunjin before turning around and saying one more snide remark.

"Oh, and no one likes lawyers anyway."

.

.

.

After that eventful affair of texting, you and Yunjin finally made your way to English. No doubt that people were staring at you, and unfortunately, the twitter post actually blew up.

So, you and Yunjin only attracted whispers and gazes as if you and her were magnets for drama.

Pulling silently on Yunjin's hand, you climbed the steps and went to your designated seat next to Jungwon and Sunoo. With the same bewildered gaze, Jungwon turned to you discreetly.

"So... everyone knows." Jungwon breathed next to you. You felt the tickle in your ear, but you were so anchored by the stress, that sensation was crushed.

"Yeah... I may have told my psychology friends."

"Yn, are you serious?" Jungwon raised an eyebrow, rosy lips in a slight frown.

"But, wait- i told them not to tell anyone," you remarked quietly before he could even let that anger hit you. Jungwon scoffed, looking briefly back at his computer.

"And how did that go because now we're trending on twitter." Jungwon gave a stern side-eye, to which you pursed your lips.

Regretfully.

You sighed before grabbing your laptop and nodding. "Look, I fvcked up because I told Heeseung. On that note, hold on."

You grabbed your phone from your pocket, and your main goal was to hunt down where the heck Heeseung was to have a courteous and firm conversation.

-----

The cafeteria was a nice place to relax after class, and you practically ran to the usual corner to avoid people's stares. It was like the walk of shame going through those hallways, even though you and the others haven't done anything remotely wrong- you guys weren't even suspects.

Even with that reassuring conclusion, your fingers couldn't held pick at your lip, peeling off the dried skin and then eliciting a sting in your flesh. And your nails were eroding from their pretty green colour.

Though, you didn't wince, you simply sat down and melted into the grey couch, and so did the others. Yunjin was next to you, leaning on your shoulder, and the boys were on the opposite side.

"I'm sorry, guys. I shouldn't have told Heeseung..."

Jay kind of snickers and shrugs, whilst Jungwon played with the sleeves of his black hoodie.

"I mean, it was bound to happen. You just catalysed it," Jay said, glancing at you for a moment, a small grin on his face.

Still, even if it was inevitable, your skin crawled with guilt: yesterday, you wanted to fully forget about it, but now it was practically being shoved in your face by other students because of your careless action. Not just you, but to all your friends.

"Not the day i imagined to be having," Yunjin chimed, looking at her phone, seeing that the 'meya' user got about five thousand interactions with her exposing post.

Meaning that five thousand (and more) saw you tell Minhee to kill herself.

You groaned into your hands, body slipping and slouching down the couch in pure embarrassment. The others chuckled.

"I mean, if you're worried about Minhee, she's a bitch anyway. That tweet was pretty deserved to her," Jay said, looking at his phone and snickering at the screen.

"Yeah, I know she is, but I acted out of impulse." You sighed, uncovering your face. Jungwon peered at you, mischief sparkling in his eyes.

"For once," Jungwon scoffed, giving a small smirk at you. Raising an eyebrow, you glared at him.

"What's that supposed to mean? You find it funny?"

"I mean yeah- you never go off on people like that. But this time you did, it's actually amusing."

Yunjin and Jay rolled their eyes at this arising bicker, already sensing the series of pointless insults about to be thrown.

"Are you saying I'm not funny right now?" You sat up in your seat, crossing your arms, to which Jungwon tilted his head, hid black locks sweeping over his head. And it made you want to grab his hair-.

Woah- that's another impulsive thought. Your neck crept with an unfamiliar heat.

"You said it, not me. You're kind of stuck-up, robotic, if you ask me," Jungwon remarked, the smug smile never leaving his festures even thought it was small. With a scowl, you glared more.

"Robotic? Bruh, I'm logical. There's a difference."

"Yet they sound the same coming from you," Jungwon retorted, challenging your word. If you weren't infuriated before, you were now. You saw him cross his arms, tipping his chin up at you in confidence.

As if he dared you to even talk back to him.

Before you could even throw another insult, Yunjin held you back. "Have you guys heard about the clubs?"

"Ah right, I mean it doesn't matter to us. We have dance," Jay said, finally remembering the email sent to everyone this morning.

You glanced at Jay and Yunjin, envious that they did have something to call their hobby.

"I want to join a club, but I don't know which one? It helps us look better," You said, giving one last glare to Jungwon as he rolled his eyes.

"I can help you find out tomorrow once the sign-up begins," Yunjin suggested, lifting her eyes to meet yours. Giving a smile, you nodded.

Whilst that talk went on with what clubs to even take, your phone vibrated in your pocket.

You excused yourself and stood up, taking your phone along and stood in a much quieter corner of the cafeteria and saw the screen before answering it.

"Hi, Abba." You chimed into the phone, already having a hint of what was about to happen.

"Hm- yn? Can you hear me?"

"Yes, I can hear you." you chuckled softly. He clearly wasn't used to the call system on his phone. Your dad hummed in response, but he didn't laugh back.

"I called you because I heard that there was a really bad murder around the area? Are you okay- what happened?" Your dad asked repeatedly, bombarding you with questions, his worry becoming evident.

"Oh, you do know?"

"How would I not? It's all over the news, yn." Your dad sighed over the phone, already sensing his prickling stress.

"Okay, yeah there was a murder around," you breathed, and you bit back your tongue on telling that you and your friends were the ones to actually find the body.

If he found out that you discovered the body, he wouldn't hesitate to talk your ear off and coddle you with his protection; you know he would mean well, but that meant going back home instead of staying at your apartment with Yunjin.

"Why do you sound so casual. Apparantly he worked at your university- do you know how dangerous that is?" You heard him ramble on anxiously.

"Abba, I know. But the police are investigating it, okay? Nothing bad will happen to me," You reassured him, talking softly. Though you could sense your father's lingering worry over you.

"I know, but I don't want you to get hurt, okay?"

"Hm, I know. I won't get hurt," you said, smiling into the phone.

"Well, keep me updated. You know how much I care for your wellbeing," he said, voice soft and it pulled at your heartstrings.

"I promise to keep you updated."

"Okay... have a good day at school," your father said before ending the call.

With your shoulders deflating, you relaxed; that went much better than you expected. It wasn't as histrionic as you thought it would be and he took it well. At least.

Walking back to the others, Yunjin quirked an eyebrow. "Who was that?"

"My dad. He found out, about the whole incident" You answered her, plopping to the couch again and sighing.

"Does he know you and Jungwon found it?" Jay looked at you. Everyone glanced, and you only shook your head slightly.

"I know he would freak if he knew so I just told him there's nothing to worry about." You saw them fall silent a little. Yunjin lifted her gaze to you again.

"You sure? What if he finds out but not from you?" She uttered, leaning onto your arm again. It was a possible option, but you blocked that thought out your head.

"I hope not. And I'll keep it that way."

.

.

.

When you arrived to the cafe, it was quite busy since customers were scattered everywhere.You thought you would get a break just before starting, but that didn't happen.

Briskly walking to the back, you waved to Jimin and Taehyung, who gave a brief wave whilst arguing, and you went into the staff room to collect your brown apron.

When you tied back your hair, Mia, the general manager of the cafe was gathering her stuff, putting her apron off as she sent a smile.

"I'm off. Good luck with the two idiots," Mia said, referring to the two men arguing at the counter.

"Yeah, thanks, Mia." You sighed and walked out with her to the front counter where Taehyung was mumbling something and Jimin whirled around from where he was making coffee, and pointed a finger at him.

"Say that to my face, Taehyung, because you're shit at whispering," Jimin sneered, causing Taehyung to scowl before going to the till and taking someone's order.

You waved bye to Mia and then walked to the two.

"Good afternoon, you two," you said, walking to the bunch of papers at the corner of the counter. Jimin and Taehyung stopped fighting and bowed slightly with sudden cheerful looks.

"'Afternoon, manager," Jimin chimed as he cleaned the counter from some spilt coffee. You scoffed.

"Don't call me manager, makes me sound serious."

"Well you are, you just check on the face quality over our lovely café." Taehyung smiled.

The two were older than you, bickered a lot more, but they took care of you so much. You don't know why the two of them rejected the front of house manager position, but since they rejected it, you gladly took it as a way for extra money.

However, that meant having to work on late evenings on weekdays, which always left a little cloud of sadness over your head at the end of the day.

"Yeah, but it's not much. Anyway, when is Eunchae getting here? I was going to train her," you said, lifting your gaze from the papers and tapping your pen repeatedly on the surface.

Jimin looked around, and then his eyes lit up as he pointed towards the door, seeing a girl with black hair, doe eyes and a shy smile on her face.

You perked up, sending a smile to Eunchae. Another fun thing of possessing the 'manager' title, you get to train the new baristas or waitresses that signed up for it.

The 3 of you at front introduced yourself to her and she was just as polite. With her in your supervision, the day quickly moved on, the sky tainted a dark blue already, the sun long gone past the buildings as the street lamps shimmered.

Taehyung and Jimin were talking as they cleaned the coffee machines, whilst you were crouching in the floor, checking the stock and pots.

Eunchae brought a ladder, perching it next to you as she climbed up to get to the jars on the higher shelves.

"Thanks, Eunchae, just refill them for me," you said without looking, too busy in the pots beneath the counter.

Sighing to yourself, you kept looking at your phone, wondering when Yunjin would come and accompany you to the route home.

All the while, you continued shuffling the pots on the floor, and you felt all was peaceful.

Though, within a second, you gasped when a soft, grainy shower of powder floated onto your head. Out of instinct, you braced yourself, covering your hair, but feeling your nose tickle from the sudden substance submerging your whole face.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, Yn!" Eunchae gasped from above you, stepping down the ladder.

Briskly, you wiped your eyes and face, standing up slowly and turning with a dismissive wave of your hand. Raking a hand through your hair, you tried to blink.

"It's fine," you uttered, smiling weakly and tasting chunks of flour on your lips. But you could see Eunchae clearly distressed.

What you didn't expect to hear was Yunjin's shrill laughter along with someone else echoing through the empty café.

Instantly, you turned and your heart dropped when you saw Jungwon and Yunjin bursting into laughter, doubling over as they held their stomachs. The embarrassment flooded your cheeks as you quickly bent down behind the counter to conceal the shame that was your newly-white face.

And you're pretty sure Taehyung and Jimin were laughing to their heart's core, but you were utterly shocked.

"Shut up!" You snapped at all of them. They ignored you as Yunjin looked over the counter.

"I'm so glad you asked me to come today," she said, giggling. Jungwon saw you over the counter, bringing his phone in your face.

"Don't you dare take a photo of me!" You yelled, covering your face with your hands, aware that there was still some flour all over your face.

Though it was too late when the sound of the camera shutter went off, and you were horrified, immediately standing and trying to tackle for Jungwon's phone over the counter. In defense, he stepped back, still chuckling and showing the photo to Yunjin.

"Oh my gosh, Jungwon, delete it!" You exclaimed, exasperated at this. Your friends laughing at you after a long day of work was not something you needed.

Eunchae crept up to you again, bowing a full ninety degree angle and profusely apologising with red embarrassment across her cheeks.

"I'm so sorry," she meekly said, and you smiled at her with a face of white, and shook your head in another dismissal, even if you wanted to climb over the counters and whack your friends with a mug.

Yunjin and Jungwon finally stopped laughing, their gaze stuck on his phone before breaking into a fit of giggles. Sending a glare to them, you heard your phone vibrate, and a furious shudder runs along your body.

You're going to kill both of them.

✄┈┈┈┈₊˚⊹♡

A/n: finally a regular update. Also, wasn't feeling great writing this chapter but we move 🫶🏽 anyways, thanks for the notes on my last chapter 🥺🎀 see you in chapter 4 :)

ᵀᵃᵍˡⁱˢᵗ: @ilovejungwonandhaechan