#writing it out

[azukilynn]

[dock-san]

The universe is an interesting place. Ever since I’ve met you. I have never felt so alive and also so alone. It is hard to live like this. But I will still submit myself to you time and time again. I would give my soul away for you and I’ve only known you for a month. You are not even fully mine. you wander through the arms of various lovers and yet I still strive to call you mine. Grasping at something that cannot be held down. It scares my soul to live like this. I’ve always held on so tightly to anything I thought I could call my own. It was never really real. I was Just trying to hold on to something or someone in this life. I can feel that I am trying to hold on to you with everything I am. Will I be able to withstand the heavy currents that are going to come my way?…

woke up at 3am, these thoughts wandering through my head.

-Ace

[lightpost]

Forgive me?

Will you forgive me? I tried searching for you, for wanting to feel. For wanting to feel a voice I tried wanting a better life a healthy way to be. I fought the darkness and the demons won. I tried. for 3,455 days I battled and lost all alone by myself trusted no one and got abused the damage done will take lifetimes to heal I'm in a place I don't belong will you forgive me? Do you forgive me? All I wanted was your voice, hearing it over the phone or in the next room, I just wanted to be around you, wanted to feel a voice and I wanted it to be yours, I wanted to give you all of me, every dark spot every lightening rod every thunder and every calm shore, I wanted it to be you. Will you please forgive me? I tried going to headquarters seeking you that was a mistake I tried denying and lying to myself that destroyed me more I tried moving on and I tried staying calm I tried writing and I've tried forgetting I've tried moving and the wrong guys I tried sleep for days and months on end. I've tried seeking and prayers and I've tried sleepless nights.. What more can I do? What more? How much more can I take? What will become? I've tried.. now this person is threatening to lock me away so I can't reach you or be with you

I'm trying so hard my brain hurts

Please forgive me.

[monsoon-of-art]

[sing-you-fools]

me: this is a background character who's in one scene, has two lines, and is completely irrelevant to the rest of the story. i am going to stop obsessing over what to name him and use the random name generator on behindthename.com. i am going to accept the first thing it gives me and move the fuck on.

behindthename.com:

[angelsdean]

me whenever i see /pos and /hj: why are you calling me a piece of shit and what do handjobs have to do with any of this :/

[misscrazyfangirl321]

Ship trope I'd love to see more of: "Are we in love? I mean, yeah, probably, but that's a problem for future us. Right now we're just trying to make it through the Plot."

[emptyjunior]

Enough random notes that have a written story on them as environmental storytelling, explore the space, get crazier with it.

You move into a house and aw cute, it has the kids height on the walls but you notice there's a three foot difference in height between measurements, you check the date, they're a month apart. The final measurement is on the ceiling. It's dated two days ago.

You're part of a recovery team that have finally found a stranded ship, they were found too late and have all passed a long time ago. They all died of starvation. You enter their storeroom, it's filled with food. In the dining hall you find the tables laden with perfectly fine looking breads, cakes, cured meats, jams, candies. Your medic says all the people sitting at the table didn't eat a Thing.

You wake up in an apocalypse. You can't find anyone at all as you wander the streets but you do hear faint music playing from somewhere. You stumble into a supermarket, to see all the aisles still full, except for the shelf that was full of ear plugs, which look to be the only thing that was looted.

Like there's light, sound, props. Having a street where every house is decimated except for One. Landing on a planet known for having No Water and a plant is growing and you don't know where it could have possibly gotten moisture from but you can't find the citizens Anywhere.

I'm sorry, I'm just kinda over the "graffiti on the wall to show the bad guy is around". That's not environmental storytelling that's just normal story. Show me I'm in the villains territory by the rain suddenly cutting out above me as I'm driving, even though it's meant to be raining all night. I park the car and step out, and realise the constellations are Wrong, until I see they're Not constellations, they're the blinking lights of a massive ship-

I Will stop now because everytime I go to write a sentence it devolves into another prompt but I'm just saying we have a Lot of senses, engage them, show me the Environment in environmental storytelling.

[azukilynn]

on valentine's day

~

i walked at a brisk pace

through the breezy blueness

around the rippling lake

~

from the asphalt path

i strayed, a time

or two

or three

into swards of fresh-cut grass

between gnarly roots

on top of crunchy leaves

~

i kept company

with purple flowers

and spindly cypress trees

i saw an empty park bench

but did not linger there

~

i thought of you and smiled

remembering how we sat

side by side

on that old bench

watching the bright water

~

blackbirds singing at sunset

amidst the dancing reeds

~

azuki lynn

[pixellangel]

"boop war" this and "tumblr pvp" that. are we not all bonding? have you not met people you would have never heard of? do you not look at the url of the stranger who booped you and think wow, i just met someone who thought of me, even if its just for a boop, before hitting the boop button on them as well? do you not gain joy from this? even in the heat of battle, our humanity shows itself. we glance into the eyes of an opponent who holds our gaze ever so slightly too long for someone who's supposed to be an unfeeling soldier and we think to ourselves i'll miss you, stranger before we inflict a killing blow. the boops show us we're human

[xxxmasterkali]

Delusional

Am I delusional? Am I crazy? Have I been through something so traumatic that everything in my head is made up? Everything I believe is wrong? I strongly believe things so much, that most people don’t & I have to wonder… is it me that’s crazy? Do my friends even like me…? Or do they just tolerate me? Are they sick of me? Do I disappoint my family because I believe so highly in not following traditional societal norms & marching to the beat of my own drum? Finding my own path. Did the person I love ever actually feel that way towards me… or did I just make it up in my head? I don’t know anymore.

I do know one thing. I don’t belong here. Maybe, that’s why I smoke so much. Because I could never do that. But at least this way, it’ll hopefully shorten my existence. Hopefully, it’ll take me outta here quicker. Because I don’t belong here. I don’t want to be here. I feel so trapped still. Why the fuck am I even HERE!?!?

I have to wonder if I went through something so traumatic & I was just lead to believe it made me stronger & a better person but what if… it actually made me crazy? I thought the experience opened my eyes but I’m not always so sure. Am I just so stuck in a fantasy now because reality is so hard to cope with? I always say, “I’m not depressed.” But maybe I am, & I just push it away so hard & force myself to be optimistic & positive.

Take me back. Take me back to when I felt normal again. When I didn’t have to question everything around me. Though, I never felt like I belonged, it was at least bearable back then.

I always believed that things were bigger than we could see. That there were things happening all around us & we just couldn’t see it because we were so consumed in our daily lives. I never looked at things on a surface level. But sometimes, I have to wonder… is the world really just as bleak & dull as we see it to be? Or am I one of the few people that believe it’s magical, & are right about that? Everything happens for a reason… right? Or is that wrong & things just happen? Do I even matter? Do I make as much of a difference as I think I do…. As I WANT to do?

I feel like I’ve worked so hard to become a better person. I’ve changed. But… I feel like it’s been for nothing. I wonder if I just drowned myself in my fantasy world because I couldn’t handle the horrors in my life thus far. I see nothing in my outer world has changed much. But on the inside, I’m completely flipped. Does that still mean anything? If it does, then why aren’t my wishes coming true? Why is there no progress? Am I doing something wrong? Am I just not working hard enough? Why do these toxic ass people keep appearing back into my life!? I just want to keep my good friends & get my old friends back! But I feel like no matter how hard I try, they keep slipping through my fingers. & the people I’ve pushed out of my life keep reappearing! WHY!? I sometimes scream to the world or God, whoever is up there… if there is anyone, “TELL ME WHAT I AM SUPPOSED TO DO.”

I always believed following my heart was enough & started to do that… but I still don’t see anything changing. I don’t see things getting better. So I have to wonder…

Am I lost in my fantasy? Am I delusional?

Do you ever feel like breakin' down?

Do you ever feel out of place?

Like somehow you just don't belong

& no one understands you

Do you ever wanna run away?

Do you lock yourself in your room

With the radio on turned up so loud

That no one hears you screaming?

No, you don't know what it's like

When nothin' feels alright

You don't know what it's like to be like me

To be hurt, to feel lost

To be left out in the dark

To be kicked when you're down

To feel like you've been pushed around

To be on the edge of breakin' down

& no one's there to save you

No, you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

woke up and someone spilled vanilla extract all over my dash, so as punishment you strange little beasties are getting all the VANILLA FACTS i know:

vanilla is the 2nd most expensive spice in the world (2nd to saffron)

which is why more than 99% of what we call "vanilla extract" is actually vanillin (vanilla's dominant flavor compound) and is not extracted from real vanilla.

luckily, even professionals struggle to tell the difference when it comes to things like baked goods. but there is a distinct difference in non-heat treated products like vanilla ice cream. real vanilla has a more complex, individualized flavor profile.

why is vanilla so expensive? because it is a ridiculously delicate & demanding crop. complete primadonna.

vanilla beans come from vanilla orchids. these crazy flowers bloom for A SINGLE DAY and have to be HAND-POLLINATED in a process that is exhausting, delicate, and requires specialist knowledge passed down over generations.

then, if you're lucky, you get vanilla beans.

which then require months of further specialized treatment.

the entire process takes about a year and can go wrong at any stage

vanilla has been cultivated for over 800 years (possibly much longer). the first known cultivators are the Totonac, an indigenous people of Mexico.

the Aztecs used it as a sweetener to balance out the bitter taste of cocoa. it was popular in a drink called xocolatl--the precursor to modern hot chocolate!

it is only pollinated by a very specific orchid bee!!!

which is why no fruit could be grown outside of Mexico until the 1800s

Edmond Albius, born into slavery, invented the pollination method we still use today--launching a global industry when he was just 12 years old.

today, the majority of the world's vanilla is grown in Madagascar

if you want real vanilla, read the labels carefully--it's harder to find than you think!

in conclusion, those tiny black specks you see in fancy vanilla ice cream? those are vanilla bean seeds! itty bitty orchid seeds!!! they are delicious and also a PRISSY BITCH!

(src)

[littlelightfish]

This... this is a whole different kind of psychic damage here. When nightmares got Marcille, we get to knew that her's biggest fear is outliving her friends. This isn't even canon probably, but look at this. This isn't a "I don't want my friends to die" kind of dream. This is a "I'm terrified of loosing my daughters, of something killing them, and being incapable of stopping it" kind of dream. It's so simple yet it explains perfectly the whole of chilchucks character. He loves, he cares, deeply. But he, or doesn't acknowledges, or doesn't know what to do with that knowledge.

Besides that. Someone had to wake him up after this. Imagine the devastation in this man after he wakes up. He just saw his three little babys murdered corpses (or maybe he saw them die, wich isn't better). He would possibly not talk about it, and that would worry the hell out of the party, because we'll, they see him all down and only one of them knows what he saw. Imagine being the one to pull him from that nightmare. Seeing this man, usually so composed, fuking staring with tears and terror in his eyes to the composes of what you can only assume are his daughters. It would be heartwrenching.

Idk, I love this man so much...

[skellydun]

absolutely love reading such a well-written story and falling a bit in love with the author based solely on the way they write. like baby the way you italicize words makes my heartbeat quicken.

[bahoreal]

kids these days who are fans of fall out boy and can just read the lyrics on spotify or whatever. do you know how lucky you are. when i was a lad you listened to an illegally burnt cd, heard a nonsensical string of syllables, and listened to it 100 times until you thought you know what was said. and then you got ahold of an album sleeve with lyrics and read the lyrics. and realise you were absolutely nowhere close.

[greenteaandtattoos]

A traditional "knight saves the princess" story except at the end, the princess sighs and goes, "I suppose you want my hand in marriage as a reward" and the knight goes, "Oh, no, I'm just new in town and wanted to make friends but I've got really bad social anxiety" and the princess is like, "Rad, because I was never gonna fall in love with you" and they live happily ever after as besties (they're both aroace).