Dead on Main Head Cannon
My favorite head cannon for this ship is that when they're feeling petty and pissed off at each other they'll send the other a purple hyacinth. It hits both of their dead, melodramatic souls perfectly. Flower language for purple hyacinth is "my regrets follow you to the grave" and that just vibes the same as "my condolences for your stupidity" to me at least.
Jason in a meeting as Red Hood with his gang. Flower shop worker guy comes in and says with the monotone of a dead-souled retail worker: "Delivery for Mr. Hood?"
Jason raises his hand with a sardonic head tilt.
Flower shop guy drops a small pot of purple hyacinth in front of him on the table and then reads off a small white card. "For leaving me to meet your dad by myself. Love, Danny." He puts the card back in his pocket. "Enjoy your flowers." He says in a way that makes Jason certain the man has no idea what the word enjoy actually means before shuffling out of the warehouse.
Hood's men all sit there silently for several long moments before one of them finally dares to speak.
"You made them meet the parents by themselves?"
Jason let's out a long heavy sigh.
"Anyone got a couch I can use tonight?"
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Tim buys Danny and his sister each a sandwich, directs him to kiss him somewhere not on the lips in case Jasmine Fenton’s watching from across the street and they need to keep up pretenses. He presses his lips to his forehead, and the point of contact is warm, in comparison to the cool, clammy air around them. It’s just a second, barely that, and it still has Tim melting into it.
Maybe he needs more platonic touch.
Chapter 5 for Better Halves (and other such falsehoods) my fake dating Dead tired fic is up, with more shenanigans, meet cutes, etc.
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it’s insane how quickly your life can just. suddenly improve. i used to be so miserable but now i own 5 swords
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Do you think that the Bat-family has different batarangs to keep track of who caught which villian.
I like the idea that in the early days with batman and (dick) robin they would take down a criminal and batman would leave a batarang like moniker. Batman gets the recongition, but robin is an after thought no one would know it was him if he took down the baddie this time.
Dick wanted to make sure that GCPD knew that it was him that took down the criminal not Batman, and because Bruce has a soft spot for his kids he agrees. Robins birdrangs are born.
Fast Forward years later the whole Bat-fam have their own batarangs and like a mass event brakes out. The Bat kids have a growing bet on who can catch the most baddies, their batarangs are the markers.
Spoiler: 25 plus the Mastermind Boys, read 'em and weep! That has got to be worth extra points.
Nightwing: It doesn't, 30!
Red Robin: 30? Step up your game birdboy I got 45. Sorry Steph it was a game of numbers.
Batgirl (Cass): Tie.
Spoiler: No fair, he should be worth the full total and then some.
Robin *pouting*: Don't pout Brown it's unbecoming.
Red Robin: Oh yeah, little gremlin, and what's your final total?
Robin: 43... you will not best me next time, Drake.
Red Hood: 47! I caught 2 extra who weren't part of the prison break.
Robin: That is cheating Todd and you know it!
Red Hood: Hey! They were looting a store and they were going to with the others anyway.
Batgirl: Then 55. 10 extra found robbing bank on 3rd.
Oracle *chiming in on the comms*: If it matters, I locked up 12 at the Zoo in the lion enclosure.
Spoiler: With the Lions?
Robin: Does it matter?
Red Robin, Spoiler, Nightwing: I think it matters.
Signal *appears in middle of the Bat-kids*: 71!
Red Hood *Screams*: Duke! Stop using your powers in the cave like that man you were 2 seconds from being pumped full of lead.
Signal: Sorry, Jay - too excited. Anyway 71 Did I win?
*Collective groan of the other Bat-kids*
Nightwing: Where did you find 71 convicts?
Batman: He didn't. He replaced some of my batarangs with his.
Signal: *gasp* Batman you believe that I, your most recent and rule following protege would -would cheat, at a game that was according to you- and I quote "This is not a game. I will not partake in this. Round up every last convict you find game or not". Your 83 other Batarangs don't count in this game and all 503 convicts new and old are in holding and are being transported back to prison.
Red Robin: Wait that math's not right.
Bluebird: Nope, 'cause the other 91 convicts were taken out by moi.
Signal: Damn it. I was banking on Batwoman.
Robin: A multi shot taser gun should be considered cheating.
Bluebird: Sorry Damien, Duke, I reign supreme. All hail the Queen.
Batman *sighs*
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