sweet-as-petrichor

[sweet-as-petrichor]

Selina: What are you reading?

Bruce: A book of things I love.

Selina: That is a photo album of your kids.

[sweet-as-petrichor]

It is a truth universally acknowledged that Batman isn’t the only one fiercely protective of his Robins.

Jason’s death led to the Rogues turning against the Joker—especially Harley. By then, she had already realized the extent of his abuse and had left him. So when she learned that her favorite Robin—a tough Crime Alley kid—had been beaten to death by her ex the first time she wasn’t around, she went ballistic.

Once, a newcomer held Nightwing at gunpoint and tried to unmask him on live television. When Harvey Dent saw how close this was to his own hideout, he knew he couldn’t let it slide. He wasn’t blind or foolish—he knew exactly who Nightwing was. The first Robin. A ray of sunshine—badass yet kind. Harvey took only a second to recall how that same little Robin had once helped him through a dissociative episode, choosing to assist rather than arrest him. And that was enough. The newcomer was never seen again.

As much as Damian disliked how close Catwoman was to his father, Selina adored the little kitten. He was honest, fierce, and compassionate in his own way. She loved that he shared her fondness for cats and animals. So when the shelter Damian volunteered at was attacked by Black Mask’s goons, Selina made sure that by the end of the month, Roman wouldn’t have a single piece of art left in his collection.

Eddie could hardly deny that his favorite Robin was the third one. After all, that particular little bird not only respected him as the Riddler but could also solve all his riddles effortlessly. So when a few goons rudely barged into their monthly riddle session, Eddie was not amused. He made sure they knew it.

Consider this your warning: Do not harm the Robins. Unless, of course, you fancy some trouble with the Rogues.

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Alfred felt as though it was incredibly inappropriate for a butler to accompany his young master to any sort of gala or gathering so Bruce had to get used to being by himself very quickly at a young age

Due to being left all alone when he would usually be with his parents, Bruce was put in increasingly unsafe situations over and over. Most of the time, there was no safe adult for him to feel comfortable enough telling. And if there was, how would he know they were safe?

He could tell Alfred, but what good would that do? Alfred has told him time and time again that he is his employee, nothing more and nothing less. Alfred cannot help him. Alfred cannot save him

Alfred doesn’t want to

I believe that at a very early age, due to how most of the socialites and rich people are in Gotham, Bruce had to get used to unwanted stares, touches, and advances

And he’s so pretty. He’s been so pretty ever since he was small, even with his parents alive they had to work hard to keep him safe. To keep others away. To draw a hard line in the sand for what is acceptable and what is not. But now they’re gone and he’s trying to keep himself safe. But people always want to touch, take, possess, and destroy pretty things

But all of his children are pretty too.

With all of his kids he makes sure that they’re as safe as can be, unlike how it was with him

The first time that he brings Dick to a gala, he holds the boy the entire time. Dick’s face is mostly tucking into Bruce’s suit jacket, shielding him from the flashes of the paparazzi and unwanted stares. Especially with his ‘exotic’ heritage of being Romani… it’s a recipe for disaster in Gotham

Bruce refuses to let a single person touch Dick, even socialites that he trusts. He knows how quickly someone you trust can turn on you once they realize you’re vulnerable.

He keeps Jason by his side as well. Gotham high society hates anyone who didn’t grow up rich. Is he’s not by Jason’s side, he makes sure Dick is. Dick can now fend for himself, but Bruce always makes sure they’re in his line of sight.

Tim has been to these parties before, and considering how negligent his parents were… Bruce makes sure to tell Tim that he would never be mad at him for anything that happened and he is not to blame. That adults should have protected him and saved him. He tells Tim all the things he wished someone had told him when he was younger. They hug and cry about it.

He’s always so thankful that Stephanie never wanted to go to galas as mean as it makes him sound. She never had to be subjected to the cruelties of adults who had no business leering after young girls. Now that she’s older and sometimes pops in if Tim’s going, Bruce knows that they’ll protect each other.

Cass is strong and smart, but she’s also very very new to this life and more vulnerable than the rest of his kids. Bruce wishes he could give her a sense of normalcy. It’s just another thing that’s he failed at.

He knows that if push came to shove, like the rest of his children, she would not hesitate to defend herself. But there should be no shove. She shouldn’t have to. Bruce dances with her all through the night every time she decides to grace a gala with her magnificent presence. It keeps her happy, it keeps her away from harm

His youngest baby is a fire cracker, ready to take on anyone and anything that could possibly be perceived as a threat to him and his family. As much as his other babies joke that he keeps Damian nearby to stop him from stabbing people, he doesn’t want anyone to look at Damian.

Damian is barely older than he was when he returned back to Gotham high society. The only difference is that Damian now has him and all of his siblings. It’s still hard to let go, even if he knows his children are there to keep an eye on everything

Duke is very similar to Jason in more ways than one, epically since he was also born on the ‘poorer’ side of Gotham that most elites loathe unjustly. He’s seen it before, even with high standing black families. Being suddenly accused of stealing a watch or pickpocketing an expensive pearl necklace. Lives ruined simply because of the color of their skin

Nothing like that will ever happen to Duke in his presence. Bruce knows he can’t protect Duke from all the racism in the world, but man if he doesn’t want to try

Bruce has never let his family deal with his issues. He believes he’s simply not worth the trouble. So whenever he gets hit on at galas in ways that make him uncomfortable he just fakes a smile. When he feels unfamiliar hands touching him and grabbing at his body, he fakes more smiles and leans into if there are too many people watching.

Just as he’s about to make an excuse, any kind of excuse to finally get away and take a breather, Dick suddenly pops up in front of him while he feels Jason and Duke slide up behind him, pushing away the elites that had circled him

Bruce makes a soft confused sound, trying to figure out what was happening, but then Damian’s tugging on his sleeve and he already has his baby in his arms. The whirlwind that is Tim and Steph together sweep him away from the confused group of elites.

The group makes their way back over to where Cassandra is smiling expectantly, giggling softly at the confused expression on Bruce’s face.

“Dance with me?” She requested softly, knowing that Bruce would never refuse her. Bruce squeezes Damian to his chest before handing him over to Tim, which Damian surprisingly doesn’t protest

Bruce takes Cassandra’s hand and they dance around the ballroom floor with ease, over and over one of Bruce’s children came and swept him away before anyone else could get the chance

“Don’t worry, we got you Dad.” Dick smiled softly as Bruce spun him around before being passed over to Stephanie and Damian.

“I know.” Bruce chuckled, feeling so safe for the first time in a long time. “I know.”

[sweet-as-petrichor]

I think about a very important part of Bruce’s dynamic with all his gaggle of adopted children is he doesn't care if they see him as their father. They're his children.

Barbara and Steph don't see him as their father. But those are Bruce’s daughters, and he'll take care of them.

Tim and Dick didn't see him as a dad for a good while after their parents' deaths because they were grieving and didn't want to replace them. Bruce saw them as his sons even when they couldn't see him as their dad, and he saw them as his sons when they could.

Duke still has a father and mother, even if they're lost at the moment. Bruce is NOT his father. He has a father, and he's going to get better if Duke has anything to say about it, goddammit. That's Bruce’s baby and he'll protect him no matter what.

Jason can scream from the rooftops that Bruce isn't his father, and Bruce might even agree with him verbally in a fit of anger. But that's his son, that's his baby. And he'll protect him.

I truly believe that Bruce's love is unconditional. He doesn't expect his children to see him as a father, and he doesn't want them to feel like they have to leave behind their real parents. But those are his children, even if he's not their father.

[sweet-as-petrichor]

I've been documented saying that I think it's an essential Bruce Wayne personality trait for him to love his kids. I think this is so true. Love should make him silly because he has so much of it towards his brood.

But also, another thing that I think people forget is that Bruce also has to love humanity and people. Like I'm totally on board for social awkward Bruce, he can hardly look people in the eyes, but he has to absolutely adore people and be so interested in them. Like even if he's not the biggest talker, he has a favourite barista that knows his name, he gossips with Charles the bodega guy, he will ask questions about your work and listen patiently as you go into more detail than necessary.

Because like protecting Gotham is protecting her people and that's a hella lot more tolerable when you adore her people. Like I don't think that man is letting himself be punched to smithereens each night if he doesn't have love at his core.

[sweet-as-petrichor]

Bruce and Jason, who accidentally fix their relationship in a relative secret and distance from the rest of the family (Alfred excluded, of course), and decide to keep this fact as a secret from the rest of the family, just for fun. Because, let's be honest, Bruce is no less a brat than Jason is, he is just better at hiding it the older he gets.

Dick, sighing: Listen, I am about to invite Jason to this family dinner. And I don't care if you want it or not! And if you try to sabotage this day by your moral code lectures, I'll have a word with you! Bruce, indifferent, while messaging Jason at the same time: Mhm.

(On the other part of Manor) Tim: Honestly, I am not giving you a choice here. You will come to this dinner, Jason. Just... just ignore Bruce, alright? Jason, dramatically huffing, while liking Bruce's messages: Yeah, yeah, WHATEVER! Alfred: ...My circus. My monkey. I shall stay collected, nevertheless.

Damian: Father had been disappearing after patrols lately. I can't track him... What do we think is going on? Is he found himself a new child he plans to adopt soon? We can't get another sibling. Tim: Relax. He is probably into a new woman. Or a man. Whatever. Dick, worried: Guys, what if it is another villain or rogue? Jason, with whom Bruce spends time after patrol by munching fast food on the skirts of town: ...Lol Damian: That's not funny, Todd. Barbara, who knows everything: ...It is funny. Dick: Babs!

Tim: You know, Jason had been surprisingly chill lately. I knew he was doing better, but he stopped avoiding Manor that much. Bruce, arching his eyebrows: Alright? Tim: Do you think... maybe you two can finally talk? And fix your mess? Bruce, who just came to the cave after reading session with Jason, hiding his smile behind a sad face: I don't know, chump. It is complicated.

Dick, calling Jason randomly: Urgh, B is such a bitch! Jason, gasping: Right? Tell me about it! Bruce, sighing from his side of the couch as Jason puts The Crown show on his television: ...

[sweet-as-petrichor]

Just the BatFam forgetting that Damian has a grandfather who was not obsessed with him on Bruce's side of the family.

Alfred: Everytime I see Master Damian, he always reminds me of his grandfather.

Dick, scowling: Ra's?

Alfred: ...You do know Master Wayne existed, right?

——————

Alfred, after knowing about Damian volunteering at hospitals: Master Damian really takes after his grandfather. Maybe one day he'll be a doctor too.

Jason, sputtering: Since when does the Demon Head Ra's al Ghul care about healthcare?

Alfred: I don't know, but I do know Thomas Wayne did.

——————

Alfred: Master Damian once mentioned he wanted to become like his grandfather.

Cass: ...Didn't he talk about how much he hated Ra's before?

Alfred: Sighs.

——————

Alfred: What do you think of Master Damian entering the healthcare industry like his grandfather?

Tim, screeching: NO!

Alfred: ...

——————

Alfred: Master Damian has his grandfather's face, doesn't he?

Bruce, squinting: Ra's...? No... not really. Well, not to me.

Alfred: I meant your father, Master Bruce. Have you forgotten that Master Damian is your biological son?

Bruce: ...Oh shit.

[sweet-as-petrichor]

fake batman: shoot him, im the real batman! jason: the fact that you even said that means you didn't study for this stunt well *shoots fake batman* bruce: why the fuck would you kill him?!?! no guns allowed! jason: *gesturing to bruce while talking to the body* see? that's more what you should have gone for.

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Clark, to himself, to his parents, to anyone he can be genuine with: the thought of being examined and studied as an inhuman being really perturbs me.

Bruce: Clark, stand on this balance, stay still so I can X-Ray you, and then I'm using this kryptonite needle I made to get a blood sample.

Clark: Alright Bruce 🥰🥰🥰

Superbat my beloved 💜

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Flash: I have a confession to make... I think I’m in love with two people, and I feel so guilty about it.

Green Lantern: Don’t feel guilty. You love who you love.

Flash: Wait, are you in love with more than one person too?

Green Lantern: Hell no! I value my life. Good luck, buddy. [pats his shoulder and walks away]

Flash: [sighs] No one understands me.

Superman: I can empathize with you, Flash. I, too, am secretly in love with two men!

Flash: Really? Wow, that actually makes me feel a lot better. Looks like I’m not the only one struggling with a huge secret.

Batman: I’m Bruce Wayne.

Superman: I am secretly in love with one man!

[sweet-as-petrichor]

Every time another joke about Batman/Bruce Wayne passes by me, I can't help but imagine that the whole rumour about these two dating was originally (and probably accidentally) created by Bruce himself.

Just imagine, a teen Bruce, still only starting with his vigilante career, makes a crucial mistake - he pays with his own credit card in front of people, while being Batman. A stupid, absolutely instinctive mistake, but in his defence he wasn't sleeping normally for a week, and had an open wound in his stomach that day, so. Whoops.

And then someone asks Bruce Wayne about it, in front of a thousand cameras. And he blurts out the first thing that comes to his mind.

Reporter: So, mister Wayne, recently citizens had reported that they saw Batman paying for the damage in the city... with your credit card. Care to explain details behind this?

Bruce, smiling stupidly: Oh, he is my ex. I sometimes sponsor him.

The crowd: (goes wild)

Alfred, starting at the interview back in the Batcave: ...We are never going to get rid of this, are we?

And guess what? They don't!

Bruce thinks that with time passing, with his love interests switching and new rumours spawning in the world, they might forget about it. He was young, he was stupid - he fucked up, alright?

But decades pass. He has a whole football team of kids. Everyone still ship Bruce and Batman.

And when this stupid video accidentally gets resurfaced on the internet again, his family goes insane. They start creating even more stupid rumours on galas.

Reporter: Mister Wayne... For years now, the crowds are speculating... Who is exactly your mother, and where is she now?

Damian, sighing pitifully: My father and my mother don't enjoy contacting each other, sadly. My mom says that their relationship was just a rebound; father desperately tries to forget Batman... Still, to this day.

Bruce, gripping the glass of champagne: ...

Talia, watching this interview with Ra's: Now, that's my son right there.

Dick: Oh, why I was screaming at Batman in the middle of the street a few days ago? Oh, this bastard- I mean, this respectable vigilante, he dared to get in the argument with Bruce. He can't really leave him alone, really! They are so insane about each other... So toxic, but so, uh, captivating... But you know, Bruce! He has such a fragile heart...

Gotham: Aw-w, poor mister Wayne!

Bruce, sighing: Jesus Christ.

Tim, shaking his head to the camera: I hate Red Robin, really. Did you know that his existence is just a direct offence to my father? Yeah, actually, Batman took this kid under his wing with another man - I am not going to tell who - to make dad jealous. This is disgusting!

Jason, who returned from the death by pretending that all this time he was under the child protection system after becoming an accidental witness of the second Robin's death: Oh, yeah, it was tough... Poor kid exploded in front of my eyes! Reporter: But, mister Todd-Wayne, what were you doing in that warehouse?

Jason, wiping fake tears: They were like my divorced parents, you know... Batman and Bruce. Batman really tried to mend things with dad back then, and wanted me to like him... We just wanted to spend some time together with him, and that Robin kid... God, it was terrible... Batman refuses to contact me now. I miss my second dad...

Bruce, back in the Batcave, watching as Batman's reputation goes lower and lower: ........................... Alfred: Well, master Bruce... Bruce: Not a word. Al. Please.

[sweet-as-petrichor]

Do you think when Damian first arrived at Gotham and to the Wayne Manor, he got an ick because Americans wear shoes indoors? Imagine him automatically starting to take off his shoes, searching for slippers, and realising that everyone just... walk around in their boots... without a care in the world?

Dick, jumping on the coach with his converses, straight from the street: So, watcha doing?

Damian, with his eye twitching: ...Why would you do that.

Damian, entering Tim's room to announce that the dinner is ready: Drake, Alfred had-

Tim, laying on his bed in his shoes peacefully:

Damian, through his gritted teeth: Unbecoming.

Tim: I JUST BREATHED

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Damian: Want to help me commit a felony?

Jason: What the hell??

Damian: Sorry, my bad.

Damian, whispering: Want to help me commit a felony?

Jason, whispering: Of course dude, what do you need?

[sweet-as-petrichor]

I have a Superbat headcanon that’s very much inspired by the "cat my dad said he didn’t want" meme. But Damian’s version.

So, in this universe, Superbat has been established for a couple of years by the time Damian joins the family. All of Bruce's other kids adore Clark — they think he’s the best thing that ever happened to Bruce. But Damian? He refuses to accept “the alien” as his father’s partner. For the first month, he’s adamant about it, making it very clear he does not approve, and being very antagonistic towards Clark.

But one night, Bruce comes home late from patrol, and as he’s walking through the house, he passes the living room. There, on the sofa, is Clark fast asleep — and Damian, sound asleep on his chest. Bruce, of course, takes a picture and immediately sends it to the Batfam group chat.

Dick wastes no time replying with the quote: “The dad Damian said he didn’t want.”

And honestly? I think that’s adorable. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[sweet-as-petrichor]

Batman and Superman haven't revealed their identities to the league yet, but they know each other's. One day during a meeting Superman suddenly says one of his kids is sick and he has to leave. The rest of the JL are surprised he has a kid (multiple?!) and haven't mentioned them until now. Meanwhile Bruce is trying not to panic because he knows it's one of HIS kids that are sick, but it'll raise suspicion if he leaves as well.

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Jason, post kidnapping: So, what test did you have?

Tim: English. We're doing Hamlet, I think.

Jason, with a disconcerting grin: Buckle up, motherfucker. You've got some learning to do.

red hood's phone: *rings*

jason: who the f*ck is calling me ... and how'd they get this number?

jason: *clicks answer*

tim: hi.

jason: what do you want?

tim: can you kidnap me please?

jason: ... I beg your f*cking pardon???

tim: please? I have a test that I completely forgot about and I only got like three hours of sleep last night from patrolling and I think I have a concussion from falling off the side of that one building—

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The only one who is allowed to kill you is me

Tim is typing furiously at his laptop when Damian walks in, holding a katana.

Damian: Drake, do you know what time it is?

Tim: not looking up Uh, noon?

Damian: Wrong. It’s time for you to perish.

Tim: still typing Can it wait until I finish this report for Bruce?

Damian: pauses …Very well. But know that your doom is imminent.

Five minutes later, Damian returns with snacks and silently places them next to Tim.

Tim: smirks Thanks for the snacks, future executioner.

Damian: huffs I refuse to let you die of starvation before I defeat you.