#BAMF!Alfred

[deadsetobsessions]

Damian Wayne was like a duckling. A violent, stab-happy, danger-prone duckling, yes, but a duckling all the same. Which means when Danny almost got stabbed by a sleepy, instinct driven Damian, he was able to wave it off with a laugh. Damian, on the other hand, stared in horror at the butter knife firmly lodged in Danny’s arm.

“PENNYWORTH!” Danny jerked back at Damian’s scream. “RICHARD! FATHER!”

God damn, the kid had a pair of lungs on him. Danny’s wince was interpreted as pain to Damian, who gently grabbed his injured arm and started to pull him towards the kitchen’s marble island.

Danny blinked, non plussed as his hearing picked up a thundering of feet as the present family members scrambled towards Damian’s distress call.

“Wait, Damian, I’m fine. It’s-”

“You have been impaled, you imbecile! Had it been any of the other simpletons, they would have-!”

“Ouch.” Danny put his other hand in mock hurt over his slow-beating heart. He literally doesn’t care about the butter knife. He’s just impressed there was enough force in there to impale him. “Are you calling me names now? After- gasp- stabbing me?”

Before Damian could reply, the beginnings of regret, remorse, and guilt on his face, Alfred, Dick, and Bruce burst into the kitchen.

“What happened?!”

“My word, master Danny!”

“What is it?!”

“I’m fine. It’s like a small stab. Not even a big stab. I’m good.”

Dick paled, seeing Danny’s arm clutched in Damian’s hand.

“That’s- that’s a knife. In your arm. How is that ‘fine’?!”

“What happened.” Bruce asked Damian, gently removing Danny’s arm from Damian’s death clutch.

“I- I did not mean to,” Damian starts, guilt coloring his voice.

“He didn’t,” Danny cuts in. “I startled him and got stabbed for being dumb. I won’t fault him for having a defense mechanism like that, ancient knows what I might do if you guys startled me.”

The awkward silence that settled at his words made Danny twitch awkwardly.

“Uh, so, can I add this knife to my collection? Even if I didn’t get mugged?”

“Danny.”

“Bruce.” Danny stared stubbornly back. With his uninsured hand, he patted Damian on the head. He was going to enjoy the fluffiness before Damian’s guilt was no longer enough to hold him back from snapping at Danny’s hand like a grumpy alligator. Bruce loses, obviously. He’s a teenager who was also an ex-vigilante. Batman’s got nothing on a determined halfa.

“Master Danny, I must insist you refrain from getting stabbed. There is only so much gauze and antiseptic cream in the house.” Alfred returned- huh, when did he leave?- with a med kit.

Danny called bullshit because he knows there’s a whole ass medical bay beneath the manor.

“Sorry.”

“No need to apologize.” Alfred said, promptly beginning the extraction of the butter knife.

“Are you okay?” Dick asked, hovering worriedly. “He- are you…?”

Damian was allowing Danny to ruffle his hair, so…

“Yep, I’m good. This isn’t even on my top thirty most painful stabbings,” and it really wasn’t. That honor was given to the GIW and that one time Jazz accidentally stabbed him with her earrings. “That was pretty impressive, actually. It’s like, a butter knife. The other ones had pointy ends.”

“Do not clump me with those pathetic wastes of spaces. I am naturally superior and would… would never harm you on purpose.” Damian said, getting quiet at the end like he was trying to plead to Danny to believe him.

“Of course not. But- if you want help me keep the knife, you can hit me with a mug, it would technically be a mugging.”

The pun got the desired effect. Damian leaned away with a disgruntled look and Dick stopped hovering as close in order to let out a small cackle.

“Done.”

“You should go get changed, kiddo. We’re going to see Tim’s photography at the Gotham Gallery today.”

“Oh, for real?” Danny patted Damian’s fluffy hair one last time, pushing away from the counter. “Oh, I’ll clean up here first and-”

“That will not be necessary,” Alfred scolded, a mop somehow already in his hands. “Please see to it you are prepared for the day.”

“Thanks, Alfred. Can I keep the knife.”

“Very well.”

“Sweet. See you guys later?” Danny pranced off after seeing the nods.

——

“He’s… he got stabbed a lot. Before us, I mean.” Dick tapped a furious rhythm onto the counter. “Not that we’ve stabbed him until now but even once is concerning for a civilian.”

“He was used to it.” Bruce replied.

“Perhaps we should join Todd in his endeavor and ensure that his worthless tormentors are permanently out of the picture.”

“God, he said top thirty. He was counting.”

Damian silently withdrew a kitchen knife.

“No murder with my quality chef’s knives, Master Damian.”

“Tt.”

“Master Jason follows the same rules. Now, out of the kitchen. I may be old, but I remember the last time master Bruce and master Dick stepped foot in here and I will not have a repeat.”

[spielzeugkaiser]

[MASTERPOST] The companion piece to the last one! When your witcher husband always stays an excitable bard at his core...

[kettlefire]

Not Always a Villain (DP x DC Prompt)

Alfred Pennyworth is a man who always stands on business. Despite what the world might think, Alfred is truly the scariest man within the Wayne family.

He is a man of morals, that is correct. There are some lines Alfred refuses to cross. Harming kids is one of them. However, some morals become flexible when it comes to his family.

Alfred isn't Batman. Or any of the other vigilantes under Batman's wing. Alfred is simply a butler, and that's all that matters. He loves his family, deeply and truly. If there is a day when no love is shared, that is the day he is dead.

Despite all that, Alfred is detatched from the vigilante work. His job is to be there for the Wayne family. To offer them help in any way he can. And Alfred always delivers.

Even if it goes unnoticed, just how large of a role he plays.

Alfred is content with his role, with his life. He is more than happy keeping his darker traits hidden and tucked away. Unneeded in a family like the Waynes.

That was until a new villain appeared in the scene. A young man who seemed to strick fear in the hearts of everyone who encountered him. With snow white hair and blood red eyes.

Alfred barely spared a thought to it. Barely paid attention to the chatter about this villain. It wasn't his job to. Alfred was simply a butler, and that was all.

That was until the day it happened. Damian Wayne was sent to the hospital. Bloodied and broken. A truly brutal attack.

When Alfred looked down at the young master. Bruised in a hospital bed with a tube helping him to breathe. Bandages hiding most of the damage, but the whole family knew. This was an extremely close call.

In that moment, Alfred Pennyworth snapped.

He pulled some strings and checked in a few long, overdue favors. Before long, Alfred was on his own mission. He didn't breathe a word of it to Bruce or the others.

Alfred knew they would try to stop him. Or worses, they'll try to join in. This was something Alfred needed to do. Despite being an overall kind-hearted man, Alfred still had the heart of a stone cold killer.

He failed when it had been Jason. Alfred wasn't going to fail Damian. Not another Wayne kid will be failed. Not anymore.

Alfred had been so set on doing it. In taking out this villain before things escalated further. This young man was clearly cold-hearted, willing to hurt anyone and anything.

That's what Alfred thought.

What he believed until the moment he was face to face with the young man. It had been so certain. The man was unbelievably cold. Laughing in the face of Alfred's words, only stroking the old man's anger.

That was until Alfred had landed a hit, and everything shifted.

Blood red eyes suddenly shifted to bright lazarus pit green. The cruel look in those eyes suddenly changed to a horrified guilty expression. The man had stopped the fight in an instant.

Pulling away from Alfred. Terror and guilt clear as day as the villain seemed to retreat. In that moment, it all seemed to click in Alfred's mind.

This wasn't a villain. He wasn't a monster only determined to hurt anyone in his path. He wasn't the Joker.

Even when green eyes turned red once again. Even when the young man struggled and fought against him.

Alfred didn't yield.

He slapped special cuffs on the man, removing the powers he had. Dragged the villain all the way back to the cave.

Even when the anger and recognition flooded everyones' expressions. Alfred didn't stand down. He held strong, refusing to let anyone get their hands on the young man.

The young man that seemed too much like a young boy.

Alfred pushed the crusade to help. Laid his case out. Pulled the trust card. The supposed villain wasn't the person Alfred had beef with.

Not after hour long interrogations. Getting as much information as they could. It was a struggle, but it found an end. Alfred had no qualms with this young man.

No, he quickly learned who was to blame. Who was the person who deserved Alfred's anger. Deserved to pay for what was done. Alfred had a name, and soon... Very soon, that person will be in an obituary. A name was all Alfred needed.

Alfred was going to take down this Freakshow. Even if it was the last thing he could do.

[snakeredbirdbatkatana]

Also got a kinda weird one but I love like chaotic possessive borderline insane nightwing when it comes to his brothers. Like cuddling Tim, Damian or Jason and saying my precious while Bruce slowly backs out of the room.

Black Mask breaks Damian's arm and without hesitation he shouts for Dick and out comes Nightwing ready to strike and end this man's whole career.

Dick who refuses to let Tim go find Bruce fuck Bruce you stay here with me and never leave.

He hunts down Jason like a dog with a bone and keeps track of everyone of his movements because his little wing will never go anywhere he doesn't know about.

Bruce who does not dare touch a Robin because big bird while come and Bruce knows nightwing will kill him.

I want nightwing like a very angry guard dog when it comes to his brothers.

I want him to sleep with his brothers surrounding him and he hears a creak in the hall and he is up standing in front of the bed with sticks that are flowing with electricity because no one will touch his brothers.

[mild-and-hammered]

[frownyalfred]

in Injustice, Alfred literally head-butted Superman and shattered his fucking nose but it was still the “Clark Kent, I am so disappointed in you” that broke him

[wildrosesayshigh3]

Alfred is the Grand Prince of the Infinite Realms

Alfred Pennyworth is a redeemed Dan, who is using his time as a butler as a break before he had to be grand prince of the infinite Realms.

[aeturnum-mendacacium]

I was thinking of how battinson or just Bruce wayne I'm general should have a sleeper build till I hate that thought

Alfred should have a sleeper build

He should be a buff grandpa

He should

Please

Do you see the vision?

[ao3statistics]

Date of creation: 12.01.2024

Tim for the win again.

There were no results for Luke Fox.

I assume no guarantee or liability for the completeness, correctness and accuracy of this chart despite my best efforts.

Includes fanfictions in all languages available on Ao3, NOT English only.

More charts will follow. :)

Want to have a chart for different pairings, headcanons etc. in your favourite fandom? Send me an ask!

[brucewaynehater101]

AU: Alfred Pennyworth

TW: death, suicide mention, murder

Alfred is an extremely talented former SIS agent who used to use his theater performances as an alias for undercover work. After the death of his father, he follows the man's wishes to become a butler for the Wayne family. He prides himself on his decorum, trained skills for being a butler, and his weapons handling. His ability to rear a child was... lacking, but Alfred learned how to balance his responsibilities as guardian and employee.

If a few threats to Bruce growing up suddenly disappeared or stopped, surely Alfred would have no knowledge of why. He'd thank the spirits of Martha and Thomas Wayne for their intervention since the butler was too busy with [task] to have been the one to have dealt with it.

Alfred is pained by Bruce's decision to don a bat suit, but he, for the most part, doesn't interfere. He allows Bruce to throw himself into danger despite how it pains Alfred to watch that.

Then Master Bruce brings home a kid from the circus.

To say Alfred was nervous about Master Dick joining the Master Bruce on the streets was an understatement. Still, it was not Alfred's place to interfere.

Then Master Bruce brings home another young lad.

Master Jason joins his family in their fight against crime.

Then they lose him.

Alfred's grief and his refusal to lose his son are the only reasons he doesn't assemble his favored Remington and eradicate the moster who took his grandson. As much as it pained the older gentleman, Bruce needed Alfred to refrain. The butler could not add the dilemma of a family member murdering someone to the younger man's shoulders.

This time, when a young lad wears bright colors to save Gotham, it is not at the behest of Master Bruce. In fact, for the first handful of months, Master Tim continues in spite of Master Bruce's discouragement. This is what saves his son from the suicidal path he was keen on taking.

Alfred, once the family finally seemed to be on the mend, often contemplates whether it's time to finally put the clown down for good. Scared of rocking the boat too much, Alfred once again refrains.

Then Master Jason returns.

It's pure chaos for a bit as the family tries to navigate all of the pain they've caused each other and the tension of their circumstances. It's certainly not an easy task, particularly due to the constant upheavals. The continuous change of people in their life (those who arrive, those who return, and those who leave forever) certainly don't help. Even though the situation is not ideal, Alfred welcomes the new children of Wayne Manor.

Then Alfred loses his son.

The older man will admit he doesn't handle the situation as well as he should have. He knew, after rough patrols and missions, that it was a possibility that his son would leave before him. Still, a part of Alfred had always denied its plausibility. Surely, after the deaths of Martha and Thomas, the world would not be cruel enough to force Alfred to bury his son.

It was.

The remaining family fell into despair, clashed, and then splintered to differing corners of the world. Alfred could only hold onto two of his grandchildren. It was an adjustment, but they managed.

Then Master Tim, in a whirlwind of his own making, brought Bruce back to Alfred once more.

This is where Alfred's restraint crumbles. With all of his family home once more, the older man swears to maintain this status no matter what Master Bruce has to say about his methods.

It's been decades since Alfred was the renowned spy with a penchant for trouble. He maintained some of his contacts but otherwise faded to obscurity. His reputation, or at least his code name, is still whispered by newer and older recruits. He was terrifying, and his success rate was impossible. There's a reason he had to fight for his retirement and that the Royal family holds him in high regard.

Alfred may not be as spry as he once was, but every single limb of his will snap before any member of his family is taken again.

The older man is ready to strike the next threat that appears. While he lies in wait, he'll continue doting on his charges.

Or, I want more Alfred characterization of John Wick and Kingsman combined

[killianthebee]

BAMF Alfred >>>

Him being so protective of his family. If anyone even tries to hurt his family he WILL shoot them and hide the body with no regrets.

Bruce not even being aware how many people Alfred has killed. He explains and talks about his no kill rule and Alfred is just nodding along like, 'yes, Master Bruce.'

Bruce has been kidnapped so many times as a child, before and after his parents death. Each time, after Bruce is home and safe, Alfred sneaks out and finds the captor and kills them point blank. He does not care. All he cares about is his family.

On that note, Alfred should've killed the Joker.

[deadsetobsessions]

Alley Drunk!Danny AU- Part 3

[Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.4]

“Have you considered anger management classes?”

The Batman turned sharply, cape flaring out as he raised his weary fists in preparation for another fight. Only to pause, as he caught sight of a bedraggled man leaning against the pockmarked, water worn, Gotham variety stone of the abandoned post office. Non-hostile. Scent of booze, not strong enough to be fresh, but prominent enough for him to clock the stranger as a habitual drinker. Young. Sympathy softened Batman’s stance. Still, Batman kept his guard up. Good thing Robin was benched, he was off his game today if he hadn’t noticed the young man.

“Nevermind. You run around as a bat. Clearly anger management classes aren’t on your to do list.”

“What do you want.”

He’s young. Not as young as Robin, but… enough that it made Batman gentle his approach. The young man pushed away from his spot, fearlessly slouching towards him. Casual. Unafraid. How curious. Even Gothamites were wary around him, correctly assuming and witnessing his takedowns of Gotham’s Underbelly.

“You do this a lot, don’t you?” The bedraggled young man asked, head tilted neutrally at the bodies strewn around the Batman.

“Hm.”

“Why do you never swing by Crime Alley?”

Batman’s guard faltered at the blunt question, but he regained it quickly.

“I do.”

“You don’t.” The man disagreed amiably. He reached down towards the victims but Batman grabbed his arm in an iron hold before he could rifle through their belongings. The young man laughed and pulled back agreeably. “Is it classism, why you avoid us? The poor isn’t good enough to deserve protection from Gotham’s knight?”

“No. I do this for Gotham. All of Gotham.”

“…Well, there’s always room for improvement, I guess?”

The stranger pulled back and broke Batman’s hold, which had the vigilante sharply focusing onto the man. The stranger was strong, despite how skinny and starved he looked. Few people could casually break his hold and tonight, he added one more to the tally.

“You should tell your sponsor to look into creating job opportunities in Crime Alley. The problem isn’t actually the crooks,” the man told the vigilante, gesturing around them. “That’s just the symptoms. The actual problem is the poverty.”

“I know.”

“And yet, you still avoid Crime Alley.”

“Who are you.”

The man began walking away, throwing a dry “The Crime Alley Drunk, apparently,” behind his shoulder. When Batman took to the roofs to track him, the man had thoroughly slipped away.

“Agent A, did you catch that?”

“Yes, Batman. It appears you’ve gotten the wool pulled over your cowl by a rather mysterious youngster.”

Batman heard a younger snort of laughter. Robin. Who was supposed to be doing homework.

“Please stop making fun of me.” Batman sighed half heartedly.

“Not on your life, B.” Robin chirped.

——

“Ya talked ta Batman?!” Jason crowed at him, excited. Danny had done as promised and met him at the chili dog stand at the correct time, which increased his credibility in Jason’s eyes.

“Sure did. He knocked out like, five guys by himself. It was pretty cool.”

“Fuckin’ woah.”

“Right?” Danny smiled tiredly at the kid. He stayed up all night to pull his shit together, and outright bought an apartment for them to stay in. That safe had a lot of cash, after all. “Come on, kid. We’re heading back to base but before that, we gotta pick up a few things.”

“Like what?” Jason asked suspiciously.

“Like curtains in the color you like, groceries, and blankets and bedding, and general cleaning stuff.” Danny ticked off a finger per item.

“We killin’ someone?”

“What? No!”

“Ya said general cleaning stuff!” Jason defended himself. The raggedy kid peered at Danny cautiously, and brightened when Danny only snorted in amusement.

“Oh my ancients, you Gothamites. No, those are for like, actual cleaning. You know, for the apartment I just got you.”

Danny missed the burn of booze, but when Jason looked at him like the child he’s supposed to be had Gotham’s streets never laid its claim on him, Danny didn’t want to fail the kid.

Even if the kid thought he was buying chemicals to clean up a body. He’s the son of two mad scientists, he knows how to get rid of a body, obviously. As if he’d need chemicals to begin with, honestly. His ghost powers are quite versatile.

“An apartment?”

“Yep. It’s shitty, but it’s got all the utilities and I kind of miss having warm water to shower with.”

Jason straightened and trotted alongside the Alley Drunk with a little more purpose. People avoided them. Danny lead the kid to the apartment, handing him a key and letting him explore the sparsely decorated place.

“So, first thing’s first. You go shower. Then, we’ll go shopping for clothes, register you for school, get your school supplies, and grab some lunch. Not necessarily in that order, but ya know. And cleaning supplies.” Danny grinned.

Jason whipped his head around from where he was closely inspecting the windows for insulation- like Danny would let the actual kid live somewhere with drafty windows- and spluttered. Hope, fear, uncertainty battled across Jason’s face as he tried to say something. Danny watched Jason open and close his mouth several times before he finally managed to whisper something.

“I- I c’n go to school?”

“Yes. You are, in fact, legally required to do so, Jason.”

A pause as the kid grapples with the idea, of something he didn’t think he’d ever get to do. A grin bloomed over his face as he realized Danny’s sincerity.

“Then what are we waitin’ for?!”

“For you to shower. C’mon grubby, the shower’s that way. Towels are in the cabinet, and there’s some extra clothes in here,” Danny tossed Jason the plastic bag of clean kid’s clothes he bought from Gotham’s version of Walmart, a store that somehow had the energy of a Tesco and a Denny’s parking lot.

“Fuc- I mean- yeah! On it!”

——

Clearing out the drafts- feel free to continue ^^

[bardcore-jaskier]

♡ Joey Batey sword fighting ♡

I've been reading witcher!Jaskier fanfics on AO3 lately and I'm one of those people who have a very active imagination so I have no trouble picturing Jaskier fighting with a sword. But I recently came across a TikTok video where someone said that certain people are unable to visualize mental images, it's a condition called aphantasia. So I made the second gif for those who might need a little reference to go off of when reading fanfics. + Even if you don't have aphantasia, it's still a very entertaining concept to feast one's eyes upon!

If you are wondering where I found that clip, it is from a compilation of Joey Batey's scenes in Knightfall on YouTube:

[3twindragons]

Geralt and Jaskier

[snakeredbirdbatkatana]

As much as I hate the new issue I'm sure you are aware of what I might be referencing I do love the fact that Dick is being portrayed as a protective badass.

I see a lot of representation where he is this goofy dumbass and that pisses me off.

Dick Grayson is the original Robin angry pissed off at the world and wanting vengeance. He has had years of experience he has kicked Banes ass practically destroyed Deathstroke but for some reason he is treated like he's weak.

That man is one of, if not the most scary Bat he killed the fucking Joker. Nightwing is who I would want to hide behind and I know his siblings agree.

I imagine the other Birds getting in over their head and running to Dick so they can hide under his wings.

Big brother Nightwing is the definition of fuck around and find out and, you fucking will find out if you touch his fucking Robins.

Which is something else people forgot Robin isn't fucking Batman's that belongs to Dick Grayson each Robin is Dicks family and he won't allow his birds to fall.

[a-prompt-archive]

If The Witcher took place in modern times, Jaskier would win the Eurovision song contest.