#Batman funny

[robinsleeping]

Dad coded

[ktkat99]

As someone who grew up with siblings, I just can't stop thinking about Nightwing and Red Hood getting into a fight in costume and Nightwing slapping his hand over Red Hood's mouth to get him to shut up, temporarily forgetting that he can still talk through the helmet, and Red Hood retaliating by trying to lick Nightwing's hand and accidentally just licking the inside of his helmet.

[batmanie]

Three moods of Riddler

Scarecrow: what do you want from me, Edward?

Riddler(offended): nothing.

Riddler(furious): everything!

Riddler(desperate): anything at all?

[jonathan-cranes-mistress-of-fear]

[tired-twili]

Listen, this is for the DC TV writers, I need you to listen to me. Nobody cares about the trash you've been putting out, we need a show like keeping up with the Kardashians but it's keeping up with the Wayne's, please and thank you.

[arieschaos]

I had a funny thought and I think I wanna try to animate it…

So in Arkham City and Knight (and origins) you can track down Riddler’s helpers and interrogate them to get riddle/trophy/destructible etc markers on your map. This makes it soooo much easier to find all the riddlers shit and take him down.

What happens in the gameplay is you find a dude who’s glowing green, take out his friends so he’s the last one standing, then hit interrogate. Batman either pins him to a wall, hoists him up by the neck or stands on his head and says something intimidating like “I’m gonna count to 1.. then I get mad.” And the goon will say “this is all I know!” And Batman knocks him out, then you get a few markers unlocked on your map.

While I was playing the other day I thought “I wonder if he loots their bodies for a usb drive of locations or instructions..” but then thought it would be so much funnier if we see the intimidation, the “OH GOD, I’ll talk!!” and then it cuts to the goon with an ice pack on his shoulder talking through all the trophies etc he’s placed and Batman calmly taking notes on a little bat-notebook 😂 I wanna learn how to animate, just so I can animate this.

[prismolovesfanfiction]

Riddler is a good guy bc he used subtitles on his murderous postings

we stan an accessible king

[helluvabossfan1123]

Batman is so hot so i made this bull sh!t

[colourblends]

I don’t know what I’ve created. But I love it. You’re welcome.

[projectbatman193]

So.. it's my birthday today! Hehehe 🦇🎂🎉

[mylifeisfruk4ever]

Tim heard voices.

"…are you sure?"

“Jaybird, it's my job. I know what I'm saying. "

"It's been two days and not ... ah, the sleeping handsome is back among us."

Tim groaned.

He was in a large bedroom, the curtains covered the window, filtering the light into the room.

He made a face.

He was too loud. His head hurt and he wanted to go back to sleep. The pain in his stomach, however, prevented him. He tried to sit up, but he was still too weak. He nearly fell, but steady hands grabbed him.

Jason was holding him as if he were frail, a precious thing and not his missed sacrificial victim. Tim felt his chest claw in terror.

"Are you ... are you here for the contract?"

"What?"

He swallowed, "Will you eat me?"

The demon grimaced, “Urgh, no. I do not do these things. It is disgusting. Then I already said that I didn't have to respect any contract. "

-------------

To save Drake Industries, Jack and Janet try to sell their only son to a demon. The demon don't agree with it.

[robinsleeping]

May I interest the people in ✨Jason Todd✨?

[ktkat99]

Tim: So I overheard something at the coffee shop this morning. These two people were talking and one said that the person you are now is who you would have felt safest with as a kid.

Jason: Huh. Damn. I mean... I do protect the crime alley kids.

Tim: And I am... literally a version of Robin.

Cass: Ballerina. Hero. I love giving hugs. Yeah, makes sense.

Alfred: I never noticed that, but I guess I, too, grew into who I'd needed as a child.

Bruce, walking in wearing the Batsuit, covered in blood and scratches, holding a pissed off Damien under one arm and a kennel with a pissed off raccoon in the other: Someone tell Damien he can't have a new pet, someone else take this thing back to the woods, the rest of you please dismantle Damien's raccoon house, I'll be downstairs giving Dick stitches as he was the one who found that thing.

Damien: No! Father! Please don't get rid of Domino! I can train him to only attack our enemies! Just give me time!

Tim, Jason, Cass, Alfred, all side eyeing Bruce: Hmmm.

[batmanie]

Riddler: I thought, you were nearly blind, Crane. Last time you even asked me to thread a needle for you.

Scarecrow: …so I could repair your favorite shirt.

Riddler: And not to watch me take it off?

[jonathan-cranes-mistress-of-fear]

POV: Batman takes away your toxin

[mindflayer-inc]

Batman AU

Batman tells Gordon that he doesn't kill. Thinking that it's a legality issue, Gordon deputizes Batman and gives him a gun and badge. Batman of course doesn't use the gun and just figures Gordon is stressed.

After Joker kills a Robin, Gordon starts to deputize the Batfam members.

Gordon: Next time you see that clown. Take. The. Shot. Rookie.

Robin (Tim, tiny ass 14 year old holding a 45 magnum): Umm... Yes sir?

Batman (plus all the Rogues, minions, and citizens of Gotham when Robin shows up with a 45 Magnum):