#Watch me put on the clown make up

[princessamericachavez]

Considering the only truly domestic Buckley-Diaz scene we got during season 6a was the whole couch conversation, I still think that it’s absolutely UNHINGED that they ended the season with a shot of Eddie sleeping on his couch after getting Buck’s donor news

Immediately followed by a shot of Buck chasing that very domestic bliss in the wrong ways, no less.

[violetscanfly]

How to care for your scientist - a visual guide

[skitskatdacat63]

"Bring on The Dancing Horses"(x) - Echo and The Bunnymen × Ferrari Drivers

[wave-nine]

Who does Honey prefer to hangout with for a longer time period, Doggy or Money?

GASP you can't just ask that!! The 3 of them are boyfriends!!!!!!!!!!!! tsk tsk

[insanesonofabitch]

I just had a dream about spn s16 (spnwin s2???) and it was so good and they were like almost entirely leaning towards destiel even though Dean hasn’t been with Cas yet like he’s been searching for him (for apparently 90 years in heaven time now?) and there’s like a Jess cameo and another insane samjess-deancas parallel and they DID somehow become a part of THEE (spn-canon) Bible (like The Winchester gospel) so there were hints of Chuck won truthing in there and it was so so insane it got me sent to a mental hospital.

[almond-tofu-chan]

Guys I love y’all’s Welcome Home OCs but it is clear you have no idea how puppetry works because DEAR GOD would these things be impossible to work on camera /lh

[grumpyfaceurn]

Wait who did I just send that pretty out of context Carbonara infodump to if it wasn't Tess?

[meezer]

gale nation you've got to see this.

>be me >attempt to publicly humiliate my boyfriend. and yes, this is sexual for me (jk) >he hits me with the

[real-life-cloud]

I went to an amusement park last night!!! With a bunch of actors trying to scare ppl and haunted houses and stuff :3 very fun

[versias]

The Joker is Dead (and always has been)

Danny is attending Gotham U and gets caught up in a Joker escapade and realizes the clown is, in fact, a ghost.

Suddenly everything makes an insane amount of sense: the fact that no one has killed a psycho with seemingly human-normal abilities yet, that Arkham can’t keep him for more than a week, the obsessive behavior, the appearance.

Honestly, Danny should have clocked this before he even met the spook.

And Danny doesn’t want to step on any toes, really. The Bat and the Joker have A Thing going on. But, the Batman just isn’t equipped to really put a ghost away. No wonder there’s a breakout from Arkham every couple of months. How many other Gotham rogues are obsessive ghosts haunting the city?

Joker doesn’t display any of the usual ghost powers he associates with his own “rogues”—who’ve really become more like unwanted relatives over the years what with their dropping in uninvited, making a mess, and then ditching before they had to help clean.

It strikes Danny, as he’s being tied up by the clown-costumed goons, that maybe the Joker doesn’t know.

Huh.

How does he broach the topic in a sensitive way?

“Hey, uh. Not to be rude but… You know you’re dead, right?”

Danny winces. Not like that, probably.

The Clown Prince of Crime stops in front of him, the crazed light in his eyes dimmed slightly by confusion. He glances back and forth between Danny and the students around him who are shying away from their insane classmate. (Which is. Fair.)

A menacing giggle warbles from the specter’s throat. He leans into Danny’s bubble, that eerie grin stretching somehow wider.

“Ohhhh really?” The clown draws it out and Danny can hear the crackle of static in the high notes. Honestly. How did no one figure this out before? “And are you gonna kill me, hmm? Have I got a widdle hero in my bait tank?”

“No, no, I mean, it’s not… you’re not… like? You’re not alive,” Danny rambles, trying to clarify and failing utterly. “You’re already dead.”

The Joker tilts his head, eyes dilating and glowing toxic green. He considers what Danny said, then throws his head back and cackles like a hyena.

The ghost doubles over, even, laughing so hard it sounds like he’s gonna bust something. He puts a white-gloved hand on Danny’s shoulder for support and squeezes, just shy of hurting.

After an uncomfortably long moment, the ghost wipes imaginary tears out of his eyes and pats Danny on the back so hard he stumbles and falls to his knee.

“You’re a riot, kid! If I didn’t have a date already planned…”

He trails off and ambles away, still chuckling and muttering to himself. “And they say I’m crazy! Wait til Bats hears about this!”

Danny watches him go, despondent.

It’s always harder when they don’t know.

This is gonna be a mess.

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC "Pick Me Up"

The stream goes live on the first day of the school year. It's the usual song and dance - mad laughing, threats, poor jokes, terror, and about thirty kids huddled together in a classroom behind Joker's back. Tim recognizes it as one of the Gotham Academy classrooms. Dick can't imagine the horror those kids' parents must be feeling right now. Jason jokes about middle school traumatic experiences. Damian is feeling very justified for skipping classes today.

Bruce, all suited up in his Batman garb, is making his way to the Academy as fast as he possibly can. Those are kids.

Gotham is once again anxiously kept on the edge of their seats, watching as Joker decides to interview the kids on their learning experience so far. Something about leaving a good first impression on the new generation or some other bullshit. Most kids stutter over their words - it's true that Gothamites are way more composed when facing life-threatening events, but those kids are only fourteen or fifteen for the most part. They are not old enough to keep their cool in the face of a murder clown.

That is, until Joker points his camera at one of the girls. Black hair in a high ponytail, blue eyes without a trace of fear, a slightly displeased, even bored expression on her face. She looks straight into the camera, not even waiting for the laughing madman to finish his question, and deadpans:

"I don't think I like school. Pick me up, please."

Joker sputters.

"Not so scared, I see," he sneers, and, in the next moment, a comically large gun painted in purples and greens is pointed to the girl's forehead, "How about now?"

The girl scrunches her nose and makes a so-so gesture.

"It's kinda meh," she admits, "Like, yeah, points for style, but you know, size doesn't matter. It's all in the technique."

Dick snorts over the comms. It's a bad time for laughing, sure, but the phrase caught him off-guard. This is not what you'd expect to hear from a teen, and definitely not something you'd expect anyone to say to the Joker. Jason's comms are muted, but Barbara knows he also laughed a little.

"Technique, you say?" Joker hisses, pressing the gun closer to the girl's head, and she winces, leaning away from it, almost as if she is disgusted by the touch.

"Yeah, I mean, guns are not that scary anyway. What are you gonna do with them, blast my brains all over the floor? Been there, done that," the girl shrugs, "Kinda nasty, but overall, it's just like slime, only sticky." She pauses and looks to the side, seemingly lost in thought, "Huh, maybe we should have added Borax to it. Or was it baking soda?.."

"Listen here, you little brat," Joker's fingers catch the girl's chin, and his voice becomes sickeningly menacing. Bruce is almost there, just two more minutes. Tim is already grappling onto the wall.

But none of them get to finish.

"Put your dirty fingers away from my sister," a low, cold, and even in a way that speaks of barely contained fury, voice comes from out of the screen.

The camera spins, like whoever is holding it turned really fast, and everyone watching the stream sees a fairly normal guy standing by the window - a turtleneck and ripped jeans, same black hair as the girl, same blue eyes... Wait, they are not blue.

And that's not a guy.

The camera falls down to the floor, and there are a lot of panicked screams coming from the broadcast now, but none of them sound like children's voices. It's the screams of adults, of grown-ass men, and later, someone even claimed they heard Joker's scream among them, too. The picture on camera glitches a few times, and the angle is awkward, but everyone still gets to see how shadows in the room morph into eyes, wide open and green, and how the darkness grows sharp teeth, countless grinning mouths that don't belong to any faces.

Screams turn into gargling and then to quiet whispers, filling the ears of all those listening with countless words in languages they don't know.

Red Robin turns off the recording and looks to that same guy from the levestream, sitting across him on the couch. The guy - Daniel, or Danny, as he introduced himself - looks him in the eyes and raises an eyebrow.

"Okay, and?"

"How did you do it?" Tim asks for the third time this evening. Danny blinks.

"Did what?" He asks, completely incomprehending. Tim groans. He's been trying to get his answers, any answers at this point, from the guy for thirty fucking minutes already. So far, he's got nothing. Danny, whoever the fuck he is, proves to be the most annoying human being on Earth.

"Seven people in a coma, including Joker himself, with no physical injuries and none of the children remember a thing! How?!" He demands, and a girl's face peeks from around the corner:

"I remember!"

Tim snaps his head at her, "What do you remember?"

The girl pauses, blinks, and looks to Danny. Then shrugs, "My brother picked me up from school."

Tim drops his head down and breathes out in frustration. He can't force the information out of civilians, he is a vigilante, not a mafia.

"Would it make you feel better if I promise not to do it again?" Danny asks, and his voice is way too innocent for Tim to believe him. He raises his head to look the guy in his shameless, amused eyes.

"I hate you."

"Thanks," Danny grins.

[thewispsings]

queen shit | max verstappen

pairing: max verstappen x pageant queen! reader

summary: max verstappen mets you, his long term celebrity crush at a charity event.

notes; someone request this but i accidentally posted it before i finished and had to delete it…i hope this finds you anon

liked by rupaulofficial, maxverstappen, mclaren, and 913,047 others!

yoursername: very successful event tonight, many thank you's to all those who attended and donated, much love 💜

view comments below!

user1: by very successful she means that she just raised over 20 million dollars for family's in need. 20 million dollars. TWENTY MILLION DOLLARS.

user2: QUEEN. SHIT.

user3: i love rich people actually putting their money and status to work

user4: my goat 💪💪

user5: there were SO MANY different celebrities there

user6: and she definitely did NOT know all of them!

user7: probably just invited them so more money could be donated 😭

user8: was the most random people too, like kim kardiashian?? mitski??? f1 drivers??? hockey players??

user9: no seriously. because why was i watching the livestream only to see george russell dancing in the background. very horribly may i add

georegrussel|63: thank you for the invite! i had the time of my life!

yoursername: of course george! thank you for the donating :) <3

user10: they’re friends???

user11: some of yall are FAKE FANS. yn and george have been friends for YEARS. he even posted her when she won miss universe and many times after

user12: i wasn't even alive when she won miss universe...

user13: PAUSE.

user14: WHAT ARE YOU ON SOCIAL MEDIA? THIS IS NOT A SAFE PLACE FOR YOU

user15: YOURE SIX?? AND CAN SPELL??

user16: are we all going to pretend like max didn't just meet his celebrity crush?

user17: most people here don't know who he is 😭

user18: "meet" is a STRETCH, he stood behind her all night just staring...

user19: yeah it was actually kinda sad

user20: f1twt is CLOWNING HIM SO HARD RN

user23: 3x world champion and he's too scared to go up to his celebrity crush

user24: OKAY GUYYYSSS BUTTT this is his first time seeing her in person! ofc he was shocked, maybe next time he'll actually go up to her?

landonorris: thanks for the invite!

georgerussell63: you were my plus one?

landonorris: SHHHH

georgerussell63: in fact, everyone on the grid got personally invited, except you?

landonorris: STOP AIRING OUT MY BUSINESS

user27: yn definitely didn't invite him directly just so lando could be embarrassed like this

alex_albon: best thai food ever (other then my moms) thank you for the invite!

user25: yeah we saw they way your scarfed that shit down

user26: acting like it was the last fucking supper

yourusername: thank you for coming alex! (and for taking home the leftovers)

user28: HE TOOK HOME THE LEFT OVERS?

maxverstappen1: hi

georgerussell63: oh no

landonorris: no way he does it

charles_leclerc: i believe in you max

carlossainz55: don't hype him up! max don't do it. don't embarrass yourself like this

oscarpiastri: i say go for it max

yourusername: hi max :)

georgerussell63: omg omg OMG

maxverstappen1: would you like to go on a date with me?

landonorris: oh he did it...

carlossainz55: NOOO

charles_leclerc: yay max!

user29: it's been 10 hours and still no response...

liked by georgerussell63, and 762,091 others!

yourusername: pretty sunset 🌅

view comments below!

user30: is that…a man?

user31: this makes max being rejected so much more humiliating

user32: SHE HAS A WHOLE BOYFRIEND?? 😓

user33: max found sobbing into his pillow

user34: *not clickbait*

georgerussell63: i laughed

user35: GEORGE???

user36: he’s funny for this

user37: max most definitely doesn’t think it’s funny

user38: yns first time soft launching and it’s right after max publicly asks her out…hm!

user39: she was waiting for the funniest moment to do this

user40: QUEEN SHIT

user41: ok but who is this man 🤨

user42: don’t call me delusional…but that hand kinda looks like max

user43: okay granny let’s get you back to the nursing home…

user44: thankful i’m not this delusional

user45: free yn from the max fans…

user46: @/user42 DONT LET THEM SILENCE YOU

landonorris: he cried

yourusername: i cried

landonorris; we crode

user47: okay it’s definitely max

user48: lando knows something

user49: MAX ISNT IN THE LIKES??

user50: it really isn’t him…hes been flirting with her through the likes for years

user51: rip max being the first to like yns post..gone but never forgotten 🕊️

charles_leclerc: hehehe…hehehe…hehe

user52: WHAT DO TOU KNOW CHARLES

user53: don’t fuck with me charles. i am not in the mood.

user54: you can’t convince me that man is not max when all his friends are in the comments section like this

user55: charles istg

alex_albon: i know something 😏

user56: ok. it’s definitely max.

user57: i still don’t think it is…we can’t see his face

user58: but what are the chances she soft launches after max asks her out

user59: she probably did it to be funny?

user60: and it worked! she’s too funny

liked by alex_albon, carlossainz, and 914,058 others!

maxverstappen1: matching sunglasses 🕶️

view comments below!

user61: QUICK, WHOS FEET DO THOSE LOOK LIKE

user62: oh max…

user63: okay so! it’s either max and yn DID go on that date, or yn has a bf and max posted this to save himself

user64: i realllyyy hope max and yn did go on that date because if max posted this just to save himself the embarrassment….

user65: what if this isn’t even a girl, and it’s one of max’s friend pretending to be a girl 😭

user66: i can see charles pretending to be the girl

user67: HE SO WOULD

charles_leclerc: those are NOT my toes 🤕

user68: okay but no one on the grid has skinny little girl hands like this

user68: logan does

logansargent: ?

user68: well this is awkward

georgerussell63: well well well

user69: THIS CAN MEAN MANY THINGS GEORGE!! IS THIS YN OR NOT

user70: i don’t think it’s yn. she’s too pretty for max.

comment liked by georgerussell63

user70: GEORGE LIKED??

user71: so it’s NOT yn?

user72: but he could mean it in a “they are dating but she’s too pretty for him” way

user73: GRRRR

carlossainz55: i can’t believe it

user74: WHAT. WHAT CANT YOU BELIVE CARLOS

user75: you can’t believe that yn and max actually went out?? or you can’t believe max got a another girl after being publicly rejected??

user76: they’re like giving us hints but at the same time they’re not??

user77: THEYRE PLAYING WITH US

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 802,520 others!

maxverstappen1: i’m dating a pageant queen and you’re not! 

view comments below!

user78: FINALLY!

user79: could’ve just said this earlier..

user80: could’ve saved us the trouble 😒

carlossainz55: i still can’t believe it

user81: SO HE DID MEAN IT IN A “can’t believe you actually got her” WAY

maxverstappen1: you have no faith in me :(

carlossainz55: correct!

charles_leclerc: i believed in you max!

maxverstappen1: thank you charles 😄

carlossainz55: he’s lying, he bet €50 you wouldn’t get a text back

maxverstappen1: THAT BASTARD

charles_leclerc: IT DIDNT SEEM LIKE YOU WERE GOING TO GET A REPLY! I THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD TIME TO WIN €50 AND I WOULD’VE GIVEN YOU HALF?

user83: i could be dating a pageant queen, you don’t know me

user84: are you?

user83: am i what?

user84: dating a pageant queen?

user83: no

user84: what is wrong with you

user85: i love how nobody was hating, we all just wanted to know if max x yn was happening

user86: max has gotten his dream girl…WE CHEERED

user87: years later and lot of instagram likes, we DID IT 👏

user88: we?

user89: i was there almost 8 years ago when max put his first like on yns post, so yes! WE

user90: thank god for that charity event

liked by maxverstappen1

yourusername: former pageant queen

maxverstappen1: you’ll always be a pageant queen in my eyes 🥰

landonorris; simp

maxverstappen1: mad you don’t have a girlfriend?

user91: WOAH GIRLFRIEND?

user92: girl what did you think was going on here

user91: I DIDDNT KNOW THEY MADE IT OFFICIAL

liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo, and 715,047 others!

yourusername: i’m dating a 3x wdc and you’re not!

view comments below!

user92: please don’t rub it in

user93: i’m soooo happy for you guys (sarcasm)

user93: yes i’m jealous

danielricciardo: actually i am dating a 3x wdc and his name is max verstappen

yourusername; really? because max verstappen is is laying on me right now

danielricciardo: that’s a clone. the REAL max verstappen is laying to my right.

yourusername: this is what we call schizophrenia 🥰

user94: you guys are so cute! (i’m jealous, i’m so fucking jealous)

user95: max started dating his celebrity crush of 8 years in 8 days! we did it joe! we did it

user96: they won’t last. they’re moving to fast.

user97: they’re both grown adults who know what they want 🤷‍♀️

maxverstappen1: that’s me!

yourusername; that’s you!

georgerussell63: yeah max we have EYES.

maxverstappen1: don’t be pissy because yn likes me more now

georgerussell63: she does NOT

maxverstappen1: you keep thinking that 😇

charles_leclerc: i always knew he could do it!

maxverstappen1: no you didn’t. stop lying to me.

charles_leclerc: IM SORRY. I WAS GOING TO SHARE THE €50 WITH YOUUU.

maxverstappen1: I DONT CARE @/oscarpiastri is the ONLY know who truly believed in me

oscarpiastri: i bet €100 against you

maxverstappen1: I CANT TRUST ANYONE

alex_albon: does this mean we’ll be invited to more charity events?

user98: you’re just thinking of the food 😐

alex_albon: …yeah

maxverstappen1: 😁🥰👊😏🔥💕🤗

user99: bro starts dating his celebrity crush and forgets how to act

user100: me if i was dating oscar

. . .

notes: thank you for the request! (even though i accidentally deleted it)

[anyaharveyii]

someone pLEASE WRITE A FANFIC ABOUT THE BATFAM WATCHING THE LEGO BATMAN MOVIE IT'S NOT A WANT ITS A NEED I'M DEAD SERIOUS!!!

give me bruce barely holding his shit together when his kids start belting "CAUSE I'M A BILLIONAAAAAREEE" every time he walks into a room.

give me alfred sighing and shaking his head each time someone mutters "alfred-da-butt-ler" under their breath while passing him in the kitchen.

give me dick taking the RELENTLESS teasing for how his character was portrayed like the unbothered king he is and agreeing to wear a pair of googly-eye goggles on patrol for a week.

give me jason subconsciously healing some of his own trauma after watching the most ridiculous, unthreatening version of the joker to ever exist (no, bruce, it's not a solution, but it's a start).

give me barbara and bruce refusing to even look each other in the eyes for a solid week, because seriously WTF WAS THAT, and everyone finding their discomfort absolutely hilarious.

give me the batkids making a meme out of bruce by doing shit like hissing every time someone turns on the lights or working snake clown references into the most random conversations, and bruce getting up and exiting the room every. damn. time.

give me bruce pretending to hate the movie but secretly loving whenever one of his kids begs him to put it on during movie night, because it reminds him that in every universe (no matter how outrageous or ridiculous) he loves and is loved by his family.

[morgluvsconnie]

BOUND, c.springer

chap.2 | drinking, smoking, mild controlling | chap.1

“girllll. if youn get over him.”

sasha blurted out with a huff. mikasa was sitting on the other side of you, sipping her drink and shaking her head at sasha.

“nobody can get over somebody they actually liked that easy. ion know why you liked him anyway i mean… he’s… ugly.” she rested her elbow on the counter.

“he’s reiner, of course he ugly.” sasha took her shot before waving over the bouncer.

“you talk too damn much.” mikasa pointed at sasha, making her hold her hand up in defense before paying for her next drink. then she looked at you. “look, just go find somebody else. like…” she looked around the club.

“his homeboy.” sasha raised her eyebrows with a grin.

you smiled with an idea but shook your head. “ian that dirty.” you reapplied your lipgloss with a small mirror, rubbing your lips together.

“shit you better than me…”

“sasha.” mikasa shook her head and rolled her eyes. “just go out and find somebody-”

“you got his name covered up?” sasha smiled and grabbed your arm. “for real?” mikasa raised her brows while sipping her drink, looking at your arm. right beneath your elbow was two roses with details around them.

“oh yeah.” you looked at your arm and tilted your head.

“ion even remember who did it. or when it happened. at all.” you lightly laughed.

“girl what the hell was you doin last week?” mikasa frowned.

“told reiner to drop me off, ain’t even go to my house and all i remember is walking to the shop.” you shook your head. as the bouncer passed by, you waved at him.

“three shots.”

“of?”

“your choice.” you smiled.

he nodded. “i’ll be right back.”

that’s when you felt someone put their arm across your shoulder. “long time no see.” someone said in your ear. never thought you’d hear that voice again.

“reiner, what you want?” you squinted and shook your head.

“i can’t be nice?” he frowned, tapping your shoulder a little.

“she obviously don’t wanna talk to you.” sasha raised her eyebrow, turning towards you two. reiner glanced at sasha, then mikasa, who was giving him the same look.

“let’s just… talk alone.” he stood back a little. “please.”

you slowly inhaled, held it, and then exhaled. when the bouncer handed you your shots, you downed two, paused, then took the last one.

“okay.” you tapped the counter with the cup, signaling sasha and mikasa to keep your watch, them clearing their throats as an okay.

you hopped off the counter and let his lead you to a corner of the club. “so you got my name covered up.” he scoffed and stuffed his hands in his pockets. you stared up at him with bored eyes. “what you really want?”

“to see why you ain’t been answering my messages. or calls. tryna see why you act like youn know nobody.” he tilted his head at you.

you crossed your arms while continuing to stare at him. “did that other woman know you had a girlfriend when she was feelin on you?” you tilted your head back at him.

“you act like that was cheating. it wasn’t. you just bein dramatic at this point.”

“oh, outta all the dumb shit you done said, that’s the worst.”

“i’m tryna make things right and you bein stubborn. you wonder why we can’t talk things out.” reiner looked to the side in annoyance.

“maybe ion wanna talk things out because there’s nothing to talk out. cheating ain’t justified so ain’t no reason in wasting yo breath tryna make me forgive you.” you shrugged, arms still crossed.

one thing you’d never do is give in to somebody asking for forgiveness for something they knew was wrong. and when is cheating an accident? reiners rarely drunk, and you don’t have a twin sister.

“maybe you just insecure. her rubbing on my arm isn’t justified as cheating.”

you paused for a moment, processing what dumb shit he said to you this time.

“insecure?” you scoffed and shook your head, looking around as if there was a crowd watching this act. and he was the damn clown.

“man, lemme tell you sum. you’ll never catch me bein insecure about myself bout another bitch. i promise. another thing, ion wanna talk nothing out with you because ain’t shit to talk about. now you can sit here and lie to yo damn self if you want to, but at the end of the day, no is no. ion wanna be wit you. ion wanna talk to you. we done. stop texting me and stop calling me, i won’t answer. point blank.” you looked him in his eyes to let him know you were dead serious about everything you just said.

for him to even assume you’re insecure of another bitch. crazy work. you never showed a sign of it, you never even showed jealousy, so how the fuck could you be labeled as insecure?

all because you didn’t wanna forgive him for something he did— something he caused. crazy work.

you felt yourself getting drunker by the second, so you had no choice but to go back to where sasha and mikasa was.

“can we-“

“finallyyy. how’d the talk go?” sasha questioned as soon as you made it back. “a buncha bullshit.” you pursed your lips together and glanced around.

“girl-“ mikasa started before her phone dinged. “oh. eren want us to come over there.” she smiled at her phone.

sasha fake gagged. “you one simp ass girl.” she raised her lip in a disgusted way.

“oh but when it’s about niccolo…” mikasa tilted her head. “alright.” sasha rolled her eyes playfully and hopped off the stool.

the three of you made your way over to where the rest of the group was. “what i was sayin, reiner don’t know what the hell he be talkin bout half of the time. so… to be honest, block him. and move on to the next. mikasa shrugged while making her way through the crowd.

“i’m not finna be worried bout his ass nomo. ion got time.” you mumbled as she finally found where the rest of the group was.

you didn’t really hang around the rest of the group, other than eren and armin. since two groups came together to make one, and you were originally apart of eren, mikasa, and armin. you didn’t really know the rest.

“hey.” you spoke to everyone with a friendly wave.

so awkward of you.

everybody spoke back. mikasa sat beside eren who put his arm around her. sasha sat by jean, who started picking with her at soon as she touched the couch.

you looked around for somewhere to sit, but the groups so damn big, there wasn’t even really space for you.

that’s when you saw someone slide over and glance at you while rolling a blunt. he looked so familiar, but you couldn’t get the picture on who he was in your head.

that buzzcut. and the ear piercing that you didn’t even notice until now.

whatever.

you sat between him and someone else. ony, yeah, that’s his name. or his nickname. “thank you.” you mumbled, putting your hands in your lap and rubbing your lipgloss in, having nothing else to do or talk about.

“you good.”

his voice was so familiar.

“i get so tired of y’all mu’fuckas. i mean every day y’all be hugged up. don’t nobody wanna see that shit.” jean squinted at mikasa and eren.

“shut the fuck up you just mad don’t nobody want yo ass.” eren held his finger up at jean. everybody laughed and jean smacked his lips. “man connie where my blunt? befo i do sum to all these rats.” jean frowned and leaned back.

connie…

connie…?

“where my money?” connie glanced up at jean, dabbing the blunt with his tongue.

“yeen even ask for it!”

“what you asked me before?” connie glanced up again, flicking his lighter.

“where my blunt man.” jean groaned.

“yeen even ask for it.” connie put the blunt to his lips, lighting it, while sitting the weed tray on the table.

connie…

that name repeated in your mind for about three whole minutes, you getting lost in space tryna remember where the hell you know him from.

while those three minutes passed, the whole group talked, connie scrolling on his phone. he glanced at you for a second before taking the blunt from his lips.

“wanna hit?” he exhaled.

you snapped out of your daydreaming and looked up at him for a few seconds. the stare held as you examined his face, too drunk to realize you were even staring. “mhm.” you nodded.

he was tryna pass you the blunt, but you being wasted, didn’t even realize it. you just kept looking at his face.

and his tattoos.

that’s when he put his phone down and held the blunt to where you could hit it from his hand.

you closed your eyes and inhaled deeply, holding it for a minute before exhaling. all while looking in his eyes.

“you like that?” he slowly started to smile, looking at your lips as you smiled you nodded.

“you want it?” he bit his lip. you nodded again, grabbing the blunt and hitting it again.

good shit.

you almost forgot all about the name.

oh, the name.

“that tattoo look good. who did it?” armin leaned up to see your tattoo more.

“connie.” you answered mindlessly. you didn’t even know what you were talking about at this point.

connie looked at you and laughed a little.

chap.3

[notyourhetloki]

sharing is caring (Logan x Reader x Wade)

Reader: they/them (gender neutral)

/NSFW Logan x Reader x Wade/

A/N: Hey I'm back in my Marvel era!!! Just a quickie "porn without much plot" fic because I'm obsessed with these men… they don't kiss in this one but I'm already working on a sequel ;) anyway, hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Use of (y/n), oral sex (m! receiving).

Word Count: 2k

—

Being Deadpool and Wolverine's neighbor was much more peaceful than you'd imagined... aside from the constant bickering you could hear from the walls, of course.

You met Wade first when you had just moved in, boxes splayed across the hall as you moved them into your apartment one by one. He offered a hand, and you gladly accepted it. "Let me help you with that, gorgeous."

On that same night, you almost bumped into Logan as he strutted his way to his door. He held you by the shoulders and gave you a smug look, examining you up and down. "Careful there, sugar."

From then on you managed to build quite a friendly relationship with them, hanging out together whenever you had the chance. You would chat with Logan and laugh at Wade's jokes, spend quality time with them, and even cook them some food if you felt like it.

All of it was greatly appreciated, even the building tension between the three of you. It was clear from the beginning that they were interested in something more, from the looks they would give you to the pet names they called you... it was exciting to play along.

For example, you didn't lose an opportunity to touch them. Even if the touches were brief, like a pat on the back or a slight squeeze on the arm/shoulder... all 'innocent' gestures until they reciprocated, arms around your neck or pulling at your waist. It was then that the fun actually began.

They would fight over you, eyeing each other angrily whenever you were around the both of them, seeing who could make you smile more or who could get closer to you. It was a competition for them, and you were rooting for them both.

Wade had that clown energy that was hilarious and irresistible, while Logan was stoic, serious and captivating. You found them to be so different yet so alike... they were perfect for each other, perfect for you.

One night, Wade sent you a text inviting you to come over to watch some TV. You decided to go in your pajamas (short shorts and a baggy T-shirt) only to see his reaction, and it paid off. He greeted you at the door, looking at your body and giving you a smile that told you he was up to no good. "Hey there, gorgeous."

You sat on the sofa and Wade plopped himself way closer than necessary. As you were deciding on what to watch, Logan appeared from the bathroom, shirtless and hair wet... heat traveled to your belly at the sight. "Gosh, Wolvie! Have some decency, (y/n) is here!" Wade exclaimed.

Logan quickly put on the white tank top he always wore and went to greet you. "Hi, sugar. Sorry about that." You smiled at him and he grinned back, accommodating himself next to you on the sofa. "What are you watching?"

You were sandwiched between them then, nerves started to get the best of you as you settled for a random TV show to watch. The three of you were in silence before you noticed a certain commotion between them. Wade wanted to put his arm behind your neck but Logan had the same idea, so they were silently wrestling to see who was going to win... no one did.

After they gave up, Logan slowly moved his hand over your thigh and left it there. You gave him another smile as you covered his hand with yours.

Wade bit his lower lip in frustration, moving his own hand onto your other thigh and giving it a gentle squeeze. You looked at him and also smiled, mimicking the same action you did for Logan and putting your other hand on top of his.

They looked at each other, bragging with their eyes. It was then that Wade had another idea, one you couldn't resist. "(y/n), do you know I really like you? Like, a lot." You couldn't see it, but Logan was not amused at that... but he quickly recovered, bold enough to speak his own mind. "I... like you as well, (y/n). You truly are something special."

"Just remember I said it first." Wade retorted with a wink, leaving Logan fuming. "What does it matter?!" He said.

Before they could start an argument, you got up from the sofa and turned to look at them, leaving them confused. With a sweet voice, you decided to confess. "And I like the both of you... equally. Or would you like to make me choose?"

They looked at each other, then back at you before Wade finally spoke. "But how much exactly do you like us?"

It was exactly the invitation you needed, you smiled slyly as you demanded. "Get up."

They both rose from their seats in an instant, almost comically. You inched closer, pointing a finger as you eeny meeny miney moe'd between them, choosing your next target. The finger ended up pointing at Logan, so you moved your hand to rest on his chest and whispered. "You first."

Before any of them could understand what was happening, you closed the gap between you and kissed Logan on the lips. The kiss was chaste at first, but soon deepened as he pulled you by the waist and brushed his tongue on yours. All you could hear was Wade speaking to himself in the background. "Holy fucking shit."

You kissed for a few moments before you pulled back, Logan’s pupils blown wide and mouth parted open. He followed your movements as you got closer to Wade, caressing his cheek. “Thank you for being patient, love.” You said before kissing him as well.

Wade hummed on your lips as he ran his fingers through your hair, pulling you even closer. The two of you kissed passionately until you felt another set of hands on your waist, Logan was directly behind you and guiding you to turn towards him. "My turn again." He said in a gruff.

You smiled as you turned to kiss Logan further, but this time he aimed for your jaw, then neck... started to mark your skin with hickeys and bites while taking the opportunity to grab your ass. You gasped and moaned gently while Wade simply commented on everything. "Naughty Wolvie... so rough! Hungry, aren't we?"

"Shut up." Logan simply answered, coming back to ravish your mouth. After a moment you felt Wade's hands grabbing at your hips, turning you around. "Sharing is caring, friend." He said at Logan, who not-so-willingly let you go.

As you kissed Wade, he also grabbed your ass and caressed your hips and waist. When he decided to kiss your neck, he whispered compliments into your ear. "Gosh, you're so soft..."

It was then that you felt it, Logan's erection was poking at your bum as he drew closer and closer to you, pulling you towards his chest while Wade's own erection grew and grazed at your thigh.

You hummed in approval, turning enough to face the both of them. You looked down and confirmed that the two were rock-hard in their pants, so you stared at their faces and playfully said. "Oh my... looks like you are ready for some fun."

You gently palmed their bulges, making sweet purrs escape from their mouths. Their eyes were dark as they looked at you and then at themselves, incredulous at what was happening. Logan was first to break the eye contact, finally looking at you and asking. "And what did you have in mind, sugar?"

Simply lowering yourself to your knees, you began to plant kisses on their respective bulges one at a time before looking up at them and demanding. "Take them out."

Wade excitedly obeyed, his dick springing out of his trousers as he slid them down. He was big and ready for action, and you gladly started to kiss and lick along his shaft.

Logan stared longingly before taking his own pants off, giving his girthy member a few good strokes as he praised you. "Yeah, take his cock in your mouth, baby..."

"Oh, Wolvie! You're so generous..." Wade teased as you finally started sucking his dick. It was sloppy, spit ran down your chin as you bobbed your head along with your strokes. You took your time and looked up at them eventually, pausing to lick and kiss at the base and at his balls.

"Fuuuck, (y/n). You're a fucking pro at this." Wade moaned with your every move, and Logan just stared and stroked himself leisurely.

They both caressed your hair when you heard Logan's voice fill the room again. "My turn now, hm?"

You and Wade agreed, so you turned slightly to capture Logan in your mouth. You continued masturbating Wade as you licked Logan's dick from the base to the tip, coating him in your saliva. "Such a pretty mouth, so good for us." He groaned.

As you sucked on his cock, Logan grabbed lightly at your hair guiding you into a rhythm. It was faster than Wade's, rougher, but you followed along willingly as you moaned around him. He groaned and cursed and all of it went straight to your sex, already aching with all the stimuli.

You were so turned on you couldn't help but whine when Logan pulled you by your hair away from his dick, looking at your eyes. "Open your mouth."

Wade looked in confusion as you opened wide, and Logan took the opportunity to spit on your tongue. "Good bunny." He praised.

"Jesus Christ." Wade exclaimed. "I'm so turned on right now."

After swallowing Logan's spit, you continued stroking them both while looking up at their expressions. Wade was breathing through his parted mouth, moaning and speaking to himself. "Oh wow, what a sight... you're so fucking gorgeous." While Logan silently observed your face and your hands in action, groaning from time to time.

You were getting hot then, so you decided to take your T-shirt off, leaving you with a bare chest. They both admired your body as you stroked their dicks, spitting on them occasionally. "Look at you..." Logan said, followed by Wade. "Fuck, I'm close, baby."

"Fuck... yeah, bub... cum all over their face." Logan gruffed out as Wade held his shoulder for dear life, Logan's free hand around Wade's waist.

Opening your mouth obscenely and darting your tongue out, you looked at Wade in the eyes. He soon came with a moan, spilling his seed all over your tongue and chin.

Logan followed right after, his cum shooting at your mouth and running down your cheek. He groaned and continued to hold you by the hair with one of his hands, caressing your scalp after his orgasm had passed.

"Damn, Wolvie... I think you will have to take the biscuit this time." Said a breathless Wade, leaning into Logan as he too caressed your hair and face.

You swallowed what you could, tasting both men in your mouth... they tasted bitter but delicious, just like you'd imagined. Logan then took his thumb and gathered some cum from your chin before taking the digit to his mouth, tasting... whoever's cum was that. He looked at Wade who was already staring at his mouth. "What?" Logan demanded.

"That was really fucking hot of you." Wade answered. You smiled at them both, getting up and promptly putting your arms around them.

You kissed Wade first that time, pulling him closer while Logan watched patiently. The both of you moaned against each other, feeling each other's tongues in your mouths.

After a few moments, you parted and turned to Logan who was yearning for your kiss. You joined lips and his tongue soon met yours, swirling around in tandem as he felt and grabbed your soft body.

When the kiss was done, you stopped to look at the both of them. You couldn't help but giggle, and they reciprocated soon after. "So... what does that make of us?" Wade half-jokingly said.

Logan rolled his eyes, a smile stamped on his face as you gently answered. "Whatever you want it to be..."

—

[findmeinforks]

Stay - Paul Lahote X Fem!Reader

Happy 2024! I honestly didn't know what to call this, but I just kept writing and now I'll probably need a part 2 🙃 enjoy 💕 2.8K words

"You have no idea how excited I am. I mean just how long have I been begging you to come live with me?" Emily grinned into the phone that was tucked between her shoulder and ear. She paced the kitchen while whisking a bowl of brownie mix, mindlessly chatting away.

"I must warn you though that the house does get chaotic. But the boys are pretty good about keeping up after themselves," she said while swatting away Embry's hand that almost made a dip in the bowl. He put his hands up in self defense as she rolled her eyes.

"Sounds great. Sam will pick you up at the airport tomorrow at noon. Let me know if you need anything else, and have a safe flight. I love you!" She she set the bowl on the counter, hanging up the phone.

"Was that Y/N? She's moving in tomorrow?" Quil questioned from the table with a mouth full of chips.

"Yes, and I trust that you boys will be on your best behavior in welcoming her..." Emily raised her eyebrow as she pointed a dripping whisk of batter at all the men now surrounding the kitchen.

"Depends, is she hot?" Embry snickered as he sat down.

"Oh....she is." Quil emphasized with wide eyes.

"Get it Embry!" Paul snorted as he clapped him on the back, reaching over into Quil's bag of chips.

"They WILL be on their best behavior. And no one will be 'getting' shit." The booming voice of Sam emerged behind Emily, wrapping his arms around her torso.

He reached his head over her shoulder as she let him lick what was left on the whisk, earning a disgusted "Seriously?" from Quil.

"Hey, but what if she's my imprint??" Embry held his up his finger to argue.

"You know that would be a different story...but we know already she isn't Quil's" Sam smirked at the youngest pack members now disappointed face.

"You guys are kidding right? I've seen pictures. Shes insanely out of all your leagues." Jacob quipped as he strolled to the living room.

"Anything is better than my crushes newborn infant..." Embry muttered under his breath, making all the boys cower in laughter.

"Oh yeah? You wanna say that again?" Jacob challenged.

Sam walked around in between them, looking from side to side at them both.

"THIS is what Emily is talking about. Keep the fights outside boys. I mean it. Just because Y/N knows about the pack doesn't mean she won't get scared if you clowns nearly phase in the kitchen. Are we clear?"

The two reluctantly nodded, Jacob sulking away to the living room.

"But come on, that was kinda funny.." Embry whispered, making the other boys giggle.

Paul shook his head with a smile at his little brother, leaving the room to shower before dinner.

-

There was something about the conversation that stuck with Paul throughout the night. Since Sam had met Emily, all of his brothers wanted imprints. They all saw what it was like to have one up close, and craved it desperately. He grimaced at the thought. The idea of a "soulmate" sounded ridiculous to Paul.

The problem wasn't that he didn't believe in it. Anybody could see the intense love that imprints had for one another, their bond growing with them until old age.

But Paul was not familiar with the term love. He never did get to see the love between his father and mother. She had been his imprint, but passed long before Paul could remember much about her. He watched his father struggle emotionally, never being able to get through the grief of her loss. Sure, he raised Paul as best he could, but deep down it was his mother that would have filled the void in their quiet house.

Things did get a little brighter when Paul joined the pack. For the first time he truly felt like he was part of a real family. He came home to hot meals, genuine laughter, and lively conversation. Not only had he gained a group of brothers, but ones with unwavering loyalty. None of them ever strayed away when Paul lost control of his temper, and were the first ones to help him learn to control it.

Maybe that was the reason he never looked for anything serious when it came to women. What was the point? One little outburst and they were out the door quicker than they had come in. He didn't allow himself to feel anything for them, because they'd end up leaving, and he was saving himself the heart break anyways.

Paul lay awake that night certain about one thing, he didn't need an imprint.

-

You inhaled the crisp fall air. Smiling wide as you looked up the steps to the new home awaiting you, the patio adorned in different flowers and cutesy outdoor decor.

"Oh Em it's just how I remember. You always make it look so cozy," you said as you squeezed the arm of your cousin beside you.

She returned your same smile.

"You're too sweet. I just can't believe you're really here. Come on, I'll introduce you to the boys."

You followed her up the steps, walking through the door to the warm smell of baked goods, no doubt that Emily had been up all night. You chuckled to yourself as you remember how she would go overboard on food whenever she was excited about something and couldn't sleep.

What you weren't used to, however, was being greeted by the several shirtless men. All incredibly in shape with tattoos on their arms, you might have been intimidated if it weren't for their cheesy smiles.

Emily gestured to each of them,

"You remember Quil, and that's Embry, Jacob, Seth, andddd well," she looked around puzzled for a moment. "I guess I'll introduce you to Paul whenever he comes around."

You waved at Quil and shook the other's hands.

There must have been some sort of inside joke, because as you finished with introductions you saw Sam laugh while they collectively let out a small sigh.

You don't think you were meant to hear it, but you caught Sam whisper at Embry,

"Better luck next time kid."

Emily didn't make a big deal of whatever it was, guiding you to your room.

After you got settled in, you found yourself strolling the hallway, looking over all the framed pictures on the wall. You had been over the moon when Emily had found Sam. You've never seen her so happy before, and you could tell he looked at her in the exact same way.

Not paying attention when the bathroom door opened, you collided with a large bare chest that stepped into the hall.

You gasped as two strong arms to match caught you before you fell, luckily, and you embarrassingly faced the one man you of course had no former introduction with.

"I am so, so sorry. I-"

"No no it's fine, are you-"

Both of you started and stopped mid sentence. Your attention had been captured when you two locked eyes. It was like you had been anchored to the floor by them. This warm, fuzzy energy had your entire body buzzing. It was so silent that you could hear your own blood flow in your ears. You furrowed your eyebrows in the haze. What the hell...

"ARE YOU SHITTING ME??"

A loud voice cut through the trance and you flinched at the abrupt sound. The man held you slightly tighter for a moment, as if he was about to protect you from whatever had interrupted you both in this hypnotic state.

Turning around so you both could see that the voice had been Embry, the man looked back and quickly dropped his arms, as if he just realized he had been holding you that whole time.

An unfamiliar emptiness lingered when he let go. He quickly averted his gaze, mumbling another apology before brushing past you, into a room, shutting the door.

-

His imprint. Right there. In the hallway of his own home.

Paul couldn't breathe.

He sat on the edge of his bed, nervously running his hands through his hair in a panic.

You were beautiful.

Breathtaking.

Your smell was intoxicating and your skin was so, so very soft. Your voice sounded like an angel. Your hair-

No.

No, he couldn't let himself think like this. He didn't need an imprint. Didn't even want one in the first place.

Was this some kind of sick joke the universe was playing on him? This girl could have anyone she wants. Why him?

Emily's call for dinner had him taking deep breaths. He could do this. They could live amongst eachother and not have to talk. There's ton of people in this house, it would be rare that the two of them would ever be alone. Right? Right. He could do this.

He walked into the bathroom, splashing cold water on his face. Wake up. It's just some girl. No different than the many that he had been with. Hell, if he could have sex with someone and never think of them again, he could do it. They had barely exchanged a sentence. Barely touched. He would be fine.

-

You sat down at the table, trying to behave as normal as possible. What happened in the hall was nothing. Whiplash. Yes, it was probably the whiplash from running into him. The poor guy seemed shy, and he was most likely just as shook up as you. It was a small accident and nothing more. He certainly didn't seem angry or upset, just caught off guard.

But wow....was he handsome. Certainly more attractive than any lousy guy you'd ever been with. He had this aroma of sandalwood and forest that was enchanting.

Okay, slow down Y/N. Let's not walk in on the first day and jump on some guy. After all, you two are going to be living together. Maybe don't make him uncomfortable in his own home. You shook your head to yourself. Just forget about the whole thing and it will be fine.

Luckily, Emily had started conversations around the table, easily able to take your mind elsewhere.

That was, until he came in the room. There was a beat of silence when he entered, the other boys seeming to look at him like they were anticipating something. When he didn't make a sound or even look up to anyone, slumping at the table and taking a plate, the conversations arose again.

Dinner was excellent as usual for Emily's cooking, and besides your beating heart constantly begging you to look at the man near the end of the table, it was almost normal.

It was when Emily put delicious brownies on the table, that it took a turn for the worse.

"I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU AGAIN. SHUT THE FUCK ALONE ABOUT IT" Everyone's head turned to the angry voice. It was him. He was so visibly upset that he was shaking, staring daggers at Embry beside him. Slamming his fists on the table as he stood up, you let an audible gasp slip.

That's when he looked at you for the second time that night. It was a far reach, but somehow you saw his eyes soften. The crinkles of anger in his eyebrows vanished, and he swallowed, before bolting out the door. Sam immediately followed, and Emily sighed, reaching out to touch your arm.

"I'm sorry about Paul. He's very.....expressive sometimes."

Paul.

-

"Leave me alone Sam."

Paul sighed through the mind link, his large wolf racing through the trees.

He didn't mean it. He never means it. But Embry would simply not stop talking. First it was meaningless. He asked what imprinting felt like. Paul had shrugged it off as nothing crazy, hoping he'd drop it there. Then, he had asked him if he planned on pursuing the imprint. Of course he told him he wasn't. He didn't need a soulmate. No matter what his instincts told him. But then, Embry had smiled and thanked him, telling him that you were now "fair game".

That had been when he lost it.

He stopped on the edge of a cliff, breathing in the fresh water air. Sam slowly approached his side.

"Embry only said that to get a rise out of you, you know."

Paul scoffed.

"He can do whatever he wants. I don't care about her."

"Oh you don't?" Sam didn't sound so convinced.

"Even if I did, she wouldn't want me. Did you....did you see the look on her face when I yelled?" Paul replayed it over and over. You had looked absolutely frightened.

"There is a reason she was chosen to be your imprint Paul. You don't know Y/N. She is patient, and most of all understanding. If you talked to her-"

"I don't need to talk to her. I am perfectly fine alone. I don't need a woman, and I definitely don't need an imprint."

Sam sighed.

"Paul. You can do what you want. I'm not the type of alpha to force you to love someone. But believe me when I say that I had a dark past. I was also comfortable with being alone. Emily is the best thing that could have ever happened to me. Having a conversation with her doesn't mean there will be wedding bells tomorrow. All I'm saying is you don't know unless you try."

Paul nodded, and Sam left him with his thoughts.

-

You stared at the numbers on your phone screen. 2:00am. You huffed in frustration. Your mind had been a constant replay of the events today, your mind spiraling. You had settled on the fact things around here were weird, when you had visited Emily and accidentally caught sight of Sam in wolf form. But this energy couldn't have anything to do with that. Could it?

You decided to make yourself some tea to try and relax. Knowing Emily you knew there had to be some in the kitchen. You tip toed in the dark, your body stiffening as you recognized a familiar muscular back that sat at the kitchen table in a dim light.

You were ready to retreat back to your room when he turned his head around to look at you.

Damn, wolves must have good hearing.

"I was just....going to make some tea.." you pointed to the cabinet awkwardly.

He nodded, looking back down at what appeared to be a cup of coffee.

He couldn't sleep either?

You mindlessly tapped your fingers against the counter as you awaited the kettle, praying that if you stared at it long enough, it would speed up the process.

-

Fuck, was this torture. You were like a goddess, standing there in your pajamas, hair astray and up in a haphazard bun. He imagined walking up behind you, wrapping his arms around you, soaking in your warmth while he pressed gentle kisses on your neck. He wondered what it sounded like to hear you laugh...

STOP STARING. Say something. Anything. Just. Try.

He cleared his throat. It must have startled you because you quickly turned to face him.

"I'm...sorry. About what you saw earlier. That's not like me. I-Embry, he can get under my skin sometimes," he rubbed the back of his head.

"But that's no excuse. I'm-um, Im Paul, by the way."

He lifted his hand up in an almost wave. Why was he so awkward? He was never this way with women.

You giggled, and suddenly, he felt like he was in heaven.

"Y/N. And no worries at all, Emily said you can be....'expressive' sometimes."

He chuckled.

"That's one word for it. But I just don't want to scare you off..."

"Well. I think if knowing that you can all turn into a large creatures who can rip me apart and that doesn't scare me away, I think you were okay." You smiled. He could look at that smile forever.

-

He was actually talking to you. Man, was his laugh so perfect. You could talk with him forever.

The kettle screeched, and you reluctantly made your tea.

"Well....I guess I'll see you around, Paul." You took your mug and headed for your room.

-

His name on her tongue. He wanted her to say it again.

"You can stay. If-if you want. I, uh, I don't...know much about you."

You smiled.

"I'd like that."

To be continued......