#a is for ace aro agender

[some---weirdo]

If this post gets:

100 notes I'll explain my gender to my friends and tell them my pronouns

500 notes I'll explain my romantic orientation to my friends (they think I'm aroace, I just identify as ace) ✓

1000 notes I'll come out to my sibling (they're agender, I know they'll support me)

10 000 notes I'll come out to my sister (she has pronouns in her discord bio, it'll be fine)

100 000 notes I'll tell my best friend I love her

1 000 000 notes I'll come out to my homophobic, transphobic conservative Christan family that I live with (they still talk to my agender sibling, so it'll just be very awkward for the next few years...)

[yourlocalgaymafia]

The A in LGBTQIA+ stands for aromantic, asexual and agender. It will never stand for ally. Being an ally should be basic human decency. You don’t get a gold star for being one.

[neptune-scythe]

Petition for Agender and aroace tags to have the flag colours thanks

[guyonrye]

STOP posting SEXUAL THINGS with THE ASEXUAL TAG

look, I'm very sex favorable. I even engage in the devils tango as an asexual. however, I get nauseous seeing so many naked bodies, and they are plastered all over the asexual tag. seriously. I get that people are just tossing every lgbt tag on their sexy posts for traction but maybe leave off the one literally about not feeling sexual attraction.

Just a thought. :)

[aaa-battery-not-rechargeable]

A does not stand for ally, it stands for ASPECS. aros and aces and agenders and aplatonics and ASPECS damn it.

i will fucking swallow a motherfucker whole if I hear that argument again.

[forrestlurker]

Every time someone talks about how it's our "purpose" or how we're "meant to" to reproduce, I want to tear my reproductive organs out and slam them down on the table.

[aroace-menace]

Yeah I’m aromantic, asexual, and agender, but you know what else I am? I’m aerodynamic. Anxious. Angular. Aromatic. Alien. Aimless. Aching. Ancient. I’m not a triple A battery, I’m an elevenfold A battery and counting.

[anotherqueersnailowner]

hey here's a friendly warning

If I hear anyone of you claim that the A in LGBTQIA+ is for allies and you don't mention the Actual Fucking Queer Identities it actually stands for I will teleport into your room and beat the shit out of you

[romancerepulsed]

aspec terms for beginners!

since it's trending right now, i feel like it might be helpful to clear up some basic aspec (but particularly aromantic, as we are the center of attention currently) terms. if you have absolutely any questions, i would be happy to answer, either in the replies, dms, or my inbox!

★・・・・・・★

the split attraction model (SAM): a model of human behavior that posits that, for some people, romantic and sexual attraction are not the same.

[most often this will come in the form of someone being aspec on one axis and allo (not aspec) on another. for example, a biromantic asexual may be romantically attracted to two or more genders, but sexually attracted to none. some people may even use SAM for allo identities– a bisexual lesbian may be sexually attracted to multiple genders, but only romantically attracted to women (note that this is not the only way that someone can be an mspec lesbian, just one way!). the SAM does not apply to everybody, not even all aspecs! there are non-SAM aros, for instance, who do not differentiate their aromanticism from their sexuality.]

aspec: a collection of queer spectrums centered around the lack of a certain attraction or identity. the most common spectrums under the aspec umbrella are asexual, aromantic, agender, and aplatonic, though there are many other ways to be aspec.

asexual: experiencing little to no sexual attraction.

[aces can still have sex– whether its because they experience some amount of sexual attraction or they just want to participate in sex because they find the act appealing in some other way. that being said, there are still plenty of aces who have not and will never have sex. it is a spectrum.]

aromantic: experiencing little to no romantic attraction.

[aros can still have romantic partners– whether its because they experience some amount of romantic attraction or they just find relationships appealing in some other way. that being said, there are still plenty of aros who have not and will never be in a romantic relationship. it is a spectrum.]

agender: having no gender or little relation to any gender.

aplatonic: experiencing little to no platonic attraction.

[similarly to aros and aces, apls can still form friendships if they so desire– whether its because they experience some amount of platonic attraction or they find friendships appealing in some other way.]

aroallo: combination of aromantic and allosexual– allosexual being someone who fully experiences sexual attraction. an aroallo, then, is someone who is aromantic but not asexual. aroallos often do not have a standard relationship with sex due to its romantic connotations and the stigma against loveless sex. someone having sex with someone else they do not love does not inherently make them aroallo, much in the same way that having a nonsexual relationship with a partner doesn't inherently make either participant asexual.

aroace: someone who is both aromantic and asexual. because aro and ace are both spectrums, an aroace may still experience some amount of attraction on either or both of those spectrums, or they may experience attraction of some other kind (platonic, tertiary, etc.), and that attraction may be only for a certain gender or genders– these are known as oriented aroaces.

queerplatonic relationship: a type of relationship that is defined only by the people within it. i have a post dedicated to explaining this in larger detail.

partnering: an aspec (usually aromantic) person who has and/or desires to have a partnership or multiple partnerships– romantic, queerplatonic, or otherwise.

non-partnering: an aspec (usually aromantic) person who has no desire to form a partnership of any kind.

romance/sex/plato favorable: an aspec who desires or would not reject a romantic, sexual, or platonic relationship. they are also generally not particularly bothered by seeing these relationships in their day-to-day.

romance/sex/plato repulsed: an aspec who does not desire a romantic, sexual, or platonic relationship and generally does not like seeing those relationships in their day-to-day. [x] repulsed people are not necessarily judgemental towards people who desire or participate in those relationships, they just do not desire them for themselves. repulsion often takes the form of discomfort or annoyance. [x] repulsed people are not necessarily cruel sticks-in-the-mud– they are perfectly capable of being respectful, and they very often are. repulsion does not always stem from trauma, though it certainly can.

romance/sex/plato positive: not to be confused with favorability, [x] positivity is the belief that romance, sex, and platonic relationships are human rights that should be supported and uplifted. someone can be [x] repulsed and [x] positive at the same time, because favorability/repulsion revolves around the self, and positivity/negativity extends to others.

sex/romance/plato negative: not to be confused with repulsion, [x] negativity is an inherently judgemental and harmful ideology. most commonly in the form of sex negativity, these ideologies are centered around the opposition to or personal judgement of people who engage in romance, sex, or platonic relationships. sex negativity in particular is embedded in western white supremacist societies and it is important for aspecs not to play into that.

those are the basics, but i have more information below the cut!

★・・・・・・★

> how are aspecs queer?

aspecs are queer because "queer" does not only mean LGBT. queer theory is about far more than just LGBT people– though they are undeniably a large part of it– queerness is any subversion of the traditional cisheteronormative standard. this includes things that cishets may take part in/identify with, because you do not have to be LGBT to subvert those standards. cishets who are gender-nonconforming are queer, for example. a good rule of thumb is that if you have to explain what you whole deal is to cishets, you're queer. queer does mean strange, after all.

traditional cisheteronormative conceptions of attraction, gender, and relationships do not account for aspecs. it is expected that everyone will one day form a traditional partnership with one other person, and that relationship will include sex (even if only for procreation, under some dogmas). virginity past a certain age is seen as a point of shame and something indicative of a larger problem in someone– in men, a red flag even. people past 30 without a relationship are pitied. our economic structure is build for couples and families– it's near impossible for someone to live comfortably alone. romance, friendship, and love are placed on a pedestal, treated as the meaning of life, the best thing anyone could ever experience. "love is the point of everything," as many posts on this site like to claim. people who reject these ideas are undeniably queer.

> i can get behind aros and aces, but the whole "aplatonic" thing feels like a stretch to me. how is not having friends queer? "platonic attraction" isn't even real.

aplatonicism is more than just "not having friends," and many apls have friends anyway, much in the same way that aros can date and aces can have sex. someone who does not have friends is not inherently aplatonic, they only are if they identify that little-to-no platonic attraction in themselves and choose to label themselves that way (just like how virgins aren't inherently asexual). still, apls who don't have friends exist, and they are all queer. what is a greater subversion of traditional cisheteronormative relationship structures than an outright rejection of what's seen as the most basic, fundamental relationship our culture has to offer?

you may not feel that platonic attraction is a distinct phenomenon in your own experience, and that's fine! ultimately, a lot of aspec terms exist for the utility and comfort of aspecs themselves. the SAM isn't for everyone, and platonic attraction isn't for everyone either. you do not have the authority to tell people what their own experiences are, nor should you care.

> i think it's sad that you're limiting yourself with these labels. you'll find someone one day!

for the broad majority of aspecs, our identities are not self-disciplinary, nor are they necessarily permanent. all queer people are capable of misunderstanding their identity or having a fluid identity– it is not a problem unique to being aspec. that being said, a lot of us may always be aspec and completely happy with it. being aspec is not a tragedy. the only thing i don't like about being aromantic is the judgement i receive from other people about it. non-partnering aspecs are not "missing out" on anything, because we don't even want the things we're rejecting in the first place. many of us are romance/sex/plato repulsed and are far more happy engaging with the world and with other people in different ways, because there is so, so much more to life than relationships, and it's wrong to presume that relationships are universally fit for everybody. telling an aspec that they'll find "the right person" one day is no different from telling a lesbian she'll find "the right man" one day. there is no "right person" for an aspec just as there's no "right man" for a lesbian. a lesbian is not "missing out" on a heterosexual relationship just because it's culturally perceived as superior and more fulfilling.

[disclaimer before anyone tries to do a "gotcha," i'm talking about a lesbian who is fully not attracted to men in any way. it's not like homophobes know the intricacies of gender identity and nonconformity as it pertains to homosexuality anyways.]

lastly, i wanna give a special shout out to the loveless aros and the relationship anarchists.

loveless aros are those who either feel little-to-no love as they understand it, or they are someone who supports the de-centering of love. they're worthy of a whole post of their own, but in summary: the loveless experience is all about finding joy in yourself and the countless things our world has to offer that are not dependent on the vague idea of love.

relationship anarchy is another concept worthy of its own post, but in essence it's an ideology aimed at abolishing the standard hierarchy of relationships (in the USA, depending on who you ask, its typically friendship < family < romantic partnership or friendship < romantic partnership < family) and allowing everyone the autonomy to define their relationships for themselves.

if i made any mistakes, let me know! and of course i'm willing to answer any questions anyone may have. :-3 thanks for reading my long ass post!

[touratoura]

I would like to make a probably invisible poll for the LGBTQ people of Tumblr. Sorry you can’t do multiple, just try and choose the one most important to you! Gray-anything fits here too.

[mothras-in-my-belly]

My sexual, romantic, and gender identities could all be honestly summarised as "absolutely not, but maybe, in this very extremely specific way that barely makes sense to anyone"

[vaspider]

So I literally woke up and came downstairs to make this set of patches. @urbanprole is in the middle of like 3 other projects so these will get test-stitched and photographed when she has a hot minute, but like.

They're about 3" x 3" so you can stack up flags on your arm, backpack, w/e.

(The colors look a little wonky bc it's just a mockup for the embroidery machine, and the way it displays colors has only a passing resemblance to how those colors will look stitched out.)

[genderqueerdykes]

btw that "slippery slope" bullshit argument being used when talking about accepting asexual, aromantic & agender people into the queer community is the exact same logic that was applied to scare people out of accepting gay men in early 1900s america. it's a bad argument, you do not have to silence other queers so you can be heard. let us have a voice, too. thanks

[alienxbonezz]

MORE SHOUTOUTS!!

shout out to aspec people (who are):

aroallo

alloace

aroace

afamilial

aplatonic

feel 0 sexual attraction

feel 0 romantic attraction

feel 0 romantic and sexual attraction

feel 0 platonic attraction

feel 0 familial attraction

feel 0 platonic, familial, romantic, and sexual attraction

feel a mix of these

identify as aspec but still feel a certain type of attraction

use many labels despite being aro/ace

use ‘contradicting’ labels

cupioromantic

caedsexual/romantic

idemromantic/sexual

quoisexual/romantic

heterosexual aro/aces

lesbian aro/aces

gay aro/aces

trans aro/aces

agender aro/aces

transmasc aro/aces

transfem aro/aces

transneutral aro/aces

demigender aro/aces

genderfuck aro/aces

aro/aces that are poc

fat aro/aces

disabled aro/aces

caedfamilial

caedplatonic

SHOUT OUT TO ALL YOU PEOPLE!!

🚨 TERFs, radfem, homophobes, transphobes, ableist, etc. DNI 🚨

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

yeah aspec people are queer.

[bravelikejames]

Don't mind me I'm just getting emotional over the lego store in times square (USA) having an aro flag included in their pride display T-T

ID: a display of various pride flags made out of legos, including the bi, trans, agender, intersex, polysexual, lesbian, leather, nonbinary, demisexual, pan, aromantic, genderfluid, asexual, maverique, genderqueer, rainbow, and men loving men flags. The progress pride flag forms a border around the other flags. End ID.