#ah lets hope for a better 2024!

[runefells]

waves a little

i know its been a fairly inactive year for me and i apologize..! This past fall i was completing my undergrad but now I am officially graduated o/. I hope to post more and get back into the swing of things in 2024(maybe open commissions? once im back in the saddle that is)

thank you all for sticking around anyway :)

[forzalando]

Seeing Someone

Lando Norris x friend!reader (female reader)

summary: Lando is finally ready to tell you how he feels when he overhears you say that you've started seeing someone - but overheard conversations aren't always what they seem. wc: 5.5k author's note: a few disclaimers: 1. let's all pretend that everyone has to spend a few weeks at MTC before the start of the season and they commute to/from London. 2. therapy and mental health help are so important - i purposefully left some things vague because people go to therapy for a variety of reasons and it should be normalized! i also didn't want things to get too heavy or potentially upset anyone by choosing to elaborate on something they relate to/hits a little too close to home. 3. this was inspired by a post i saw on my dash that said "when you said you were seeing someone i was hoping you meant a therapist". this originally started out more light-hearted, but the angst came out and i couldn't stop. feeling a little insecure about this one - thoughts and feelings in the comments/reblogs/my inbox would be so cherished and appreciated :) once again, special shoutout to @sof1shticated for being my beta reader. couldn't do this without you, Mel! warnings: mentions of reader going to therapy, mentions of reader drinking, a few curse words (i think), and angst! but there is a happy ending (even if it's a little open-ended)

Lando had searched the entirety of McLaren HQ at this point and started to worry – you were quite literally nowhere to be found. Usually, this wouldn’t phase him, since you were notorious for getting distracted or caught up in conversation with everyone you came across. You especially found ways to delay leaving MTC when you had to be there physically – the commute from HQ back to London each day was objectively the worst part of everyone coming together in the weeks leading up to each new season.

Today, however, the two of you had plans to get dinner at your favorite restaurant in London and you would never miss a chance to devour your favorite scallop risotto, cheese garlic bread, several glasses of wine, and a heaping mound of tiramisu for dessert.

He stopped speed-walking abruptly when he saw a familiar head of brown hair out of the corner of his eye.

“OSCAR,” Lando shouted, his speed-walk turning into a run. “Oscar, have you seen Y/N? She told me to meet at her office at 5:00pm but it’s 5:30pm and she is literally missing. She better have a good excuse, I hate being late.”

“Missing? Are you sure she’s not just caught up in a meeting? I saw her heading to Zak’s office around 4:45pm, did you check there?”

“Zak’s office, of course! The one place I didn’t check. Thanks, Osc, you’re the man.”

Oscar rolled his eyes – “Anytime, Lan. What are you running late for? Hot date?”

Lando didn’t miss the wiggle of Oscar’s eyebrows and slight smirk. It wasn’t a secret to the Australian that Lando had a crush on Y/N – although Lando had never confirmed or denied it, it was pretty obvious to anyone who spent more than 30 seconds around them.

“Ah, something like that,” Lando said nonchalantly, a bashful blush making its way to his cheeks.

“Good luck, mate!” Oscar threw a wave over his shoulder as he heard the retreating sound of Lando’s trainers smacking against the floor.

In truth, although you and Lando were just friends and Lando was terrified he may ruin that, he had plans to tell you about his feelings for you that night at dinner. It had been almost a year since you started working for McLaren, and almost a year of Lando pining after you in secret. He spent most days trying to convince himself he was content just being your friend, but he was determined to make 2024 his year. His first win, hopefully of many, maybe even WDC contender material, and finally plucking up the courage to be honest with you.

As Lando hurriedly approached Zak’s office, he could see that the door was slightly ajar and heard your voice trailing through the opening.

“I really appreciate you taking the time to talk to me, Zak. And a massive thank you for approving the time off on such late notice.”

“Anytime, Y/N, you know you’re like family to me and everyone here. You sure you’re ok?”

“Yes, I’m seeing someone. It’s still new so I’m not set on him yet but I have a really good feeling about it, I’m really starting to wish I had called him sooner. He actually suggested the days off, I’m seeing him on Tuesday and hopefully things continue to go well.”

Lando’s heart dropped to his stomach – all week he had been thinking about tonight. How to tell you, how you might react, how nervous he was, and each day he grew even more anxious. He was panicking – what was he supposed to do? How could he sit across from you all night knowing that he’d missed his chance?

“That’s so good to hear,” Zak said earnestly. “Keep me updated and enjoy your days off.”

Lando could hear chairs scraping and scrambled to leave the scene before you walked out of Zak’s office to find him eavesdropping. He got about 50 feet down the hallway before he heard your voice from behind.

“Lan,” you shouted. “I’m so sorry, I’m totally late but I had to meet with Zak about something and his last meeting went way over.”

You jogged a little to catch up to him – a bright smile on your face that made his heart rate skyrocket and his palms grow sweaty. He couldn’t see you feeling like this. Not tonight, not when he could barely keep himself from telling you that he would be a much better boyfriend than whoever you were dating.

“We still on for dinner? I grabbed everything I needed from my office before I met with Zak so if we leave right this second and ignore the speed limit, they may seat us,” you bumped his shoulder as you joked.

Unable to help himself, only thinking about how hurt he was even though you’d done nothing wrong, Lando blurted out an excuse. “Actually, I was trying to find you to tell you I can’t make it.”

He tried not to react when he saw your face fall a little, but he told himself it was because you were disappointed about the last-minute change in plans and not that he wasn’t going.

“You should still go though,” he offered quickly. “I’m sure you have someone you could take with you!”

Your eyes spotted Oscar across the hallway and you smiled slightly – it had been a while since you had spent time with him and you knew he was having a rough week.

“Yeah, I have someone in mind,” you mused, focusing your eyes back on Lando. “Is everything ok? Are you not feeling well?”

“No, I’m fine, I just forgot I have plans.”

“Well, we had plans. You scheduled over me?”

“It’s a last-minute thing. Date thing. Last-minute date thing.”

“Oh,” you gasped. “Oh, that’s great!” You plastered a fake smile on your face – hoping that he was just as oblivious now as he apparently is to your feelings. “I hope you have a great time, she’s a lucky girl! I’ll see you on Wednesday, I’m taking a couple days off!”

Before he had a chance to say anything else, you sped off in search of Oscar to bribe him to accompany you to dinner. While you set off across the room, Lando smacked himself in the forehead and groaned.

“Why did you tell her it was a date, you idiot,” he mumbled to himself. Now, it was his turn to speed walk through McLaren HQ, but if he had turned around just for a moment, he would have caught you stopped in your tracks staring at him longingly as he walked away.

You shook your head and sighed, continuing your quest to find the younger McLaren driver and rope him into an evening filled with good food and, if you were being honest with yourself, probably a few tears.

A few moments later, you spotted floppy brown hair bouncing as Oscar walked toward the employee parking lot.

“Oscar!” You yelled after him, increasing your pace to catch up to him.

“Hey,” he said, confusion evident on his face, “I thought you were going out with Lando?”

“He’s got a date,” you blurted. “He has a date and he canceled on me and it’s fine. I am fine. But I want my scallop risotto and tiramisu so you’re coming with me.”

“Sure, Y/N, lead the way.”

Oscar was, to put it extremely lightly, confused. Lando was completely enamored by you – anyone with eyes could see it. Oscar was wholly convinced that Lando was going to officially ask you out at dinner tonight, especially after the brief conversation they had while you were late to meet up with him.

Yet, here he was, sat across from you in a dimly lit room as you sipped on your third glass of wine and, with all the subtlety of a neon sign, wiped a tear from your lower lash line.

“It’s not that I’m not happy for him, I’m so happy for him. But canceling last minute is a dick move, right? It’s a dick move. I know I’m just his friend, sometimes I feel like just a colleague, but I’m not being dramatic, right?”

Oscar stared at you blankly – his eyes wide and a look of pure fear on his face. He considered himself good at most things, great at quite a few, but comforting a crying woman was bottom of the list of Oscar Piastri’s skills.

“It’s totally a dick move,” he nodded his head eagerly in agreement. “I just don’t get it – when I saw him earlier he was frantic trying to find you. I think he’d scoured the entirety of MTC, he was out of breath when I found him.”

“Well, at least he had the decency to find me and tell me in person that he planned on ditching me.”

“Yeah, but that’s just it, it didn’t seem like he was trying to find you to tell you that. He complained about being late and when I asked him if he had a hot date, he blushed.”

“He is literally on a hot date.”

“Ok, well, when I asked him I meant did he have a hot date specifically with you.”

You scoffed and set your glass down – as much as you loved Oscar and you knew he’d never judge you, if you had any more wine you’d end up sobbing and not just wiping stray tears away.

“As if! Lando has never once made a move on me even though I flirt, or at least try to flirt, with him any chance I get.”

“You flirt with Lando?”

“I made him a personalized Spotify playlist, had Stroopwafels overnighted to him from The Netherlands after Vegas, bought him a sweater for his birthday with a card that said ‘to match your eyes’, and I compliment him every time I see him.”

“That’s your idea of flirting?”

“Well, yes.”

“Y/N, that’s just being nice to people. You’re nice to everyone. Lando is not going to understand that you’re a little extra nice to him and that means you’re trying to woo him.”

You huffed and slumped in your seat, crossing your arms over your chest. “Ok, well, how would you flirt with Lando?”

“Did you seriously just ask me that question?”

“Yes because apparently you know all about flirting! And by the way, Logan thought I was coming onto him when I was just being nice so some people would consider my actions flirtatious.”

“That doesn’t count, Logan thinks Uber drivers are flirting with him when they say ‘have a nice day’.”

You and Oscar shared a laugh at the mention of your mutual friend – somehow an even more hopeless case than you in the world of romance.

Your laughs turned to giggles and eventually died down completely. A sigh climbed its way out of your throat, the sudden change in your mood evident to Oscar.

“It doesn’t matter anyway – he’s seeing someone so no more trying, and according to you failing, to flirt.”

“You don’t know how serious it is, maybe this was a first date and it’ll go horribly. He definitely doesn’t have a girlfriend if that’s what you’re worried about, he was just saying the other day that Lily and I make him feel painfully single. We can ask him about it on Monday!”

You frowned a bit and tried to recover, but Oscar noticed the way your face fell slightly. “I’m actually taking a few days off, I need some personal time. I won’t be back at MTC until Wednesday.”

“Is everything ok? You don’t have to tell me but if you need anything, you know I’m there for you, right?”

You smiled at Oscar – it was a rare thing to find such great friends in the people you worked with, but you got so incredibly lucky with the McLaren team, especially Lando and Oscar. “I know that, Osc. You’re a gem.”

With a nod of understanding, Oscar changed the subject to something more pleasant, and you enjoyed the rest of your evening with your friend.

When Wednesday morning rolled around, you felt like your stomach might explode from nerves. You had resisted texting Lando over the past few days to ask about his date, you didn’t want to seem too eager and hoped it would come up naturally in conversation during the day. You hadn’t talked to Oscar much, though he’d texted you a few times to check in, but you wondered if he had talked to Lando at all and if he had details on how well Lando’s date went.

You arrived at MTC fairly early, hoping to get a head start on your day. Winter break was nearly over, and you were swamped with finalizing everything for the start of the 2024 season. It wasn’t until lunch that you saw Lando at all and he just so happened to be waiting in your office, sitting comfortably in your chair, while you were walking back from your latest meeting.

“Lando! What are you doing here?”

“I, uh,” he scrambled. “I was just…I don’t know really. I guess I wanted to see you, we haven’t talked in a few days since you’ve been out.”

“Well, we’ve both been busy. You could’ve texted me. How was your date?”

“It was good. Great. How about yours?”

You smiled remembering your evening with Oscar, assuming he had told Lando at some point that he had accompanied you. “Honestly so fun, we had the best time. I hope we get to do it again soon.”

Lando cringed – jealousy rearing its ugly head as he looked down at his feet before answering. “Same, I’ll probably go out with her again this weekend.”

“Good for you,” you gritted. “I’m glad you had fun. I actually have a million things to do so if there’s nothing important…”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry. Just wanted to see you. I guess we’ll catch up soon? Hope you enjoyed your days off.”

Mustering up a fake smile, you told him definitely, awkwardly standing as he rose from your desk and left your office. As soon as he was far enough away that he couldn’t hear you, you groaned. The tension between you and Lando was unbearable, though you didn’t understand why it seemed to mostly be coming from him. Before you had a chance to think any further, you could hear your phone buzzing from inside your bag and begrudgingly pulled it out to see a text from Oscar.

did you go on a date over the weekend?

no? why are you asking me that?

well then why did lando just sit across from me and say ‘did Y/N tell you anything about her date?’

he was just in my office, I asked him how his date went and he asked about ‘mine’. i assumed he was talking about Friday and that you told him i brought you?

i never told him, i guess he thought you brought a real date?

You paused before responding to Oscar, confusion evident on your face and in your lack of response. Before you could type out a reply, two more texts came in.

ok something is up because i just told him that i went with you on friday and he said “i know, i saw you in her insta story in the reflection of a wine glass, i’m talking about yesterday”

insane that he looked close enough to see me in your wine glass but not the point

i literally haven’t been on a date in two years

let me figure this out

You slid your phone back into your bag and pulled out your laptop – your Lando problems would have to wait until you were at least somewhat caught up after missing two days so close to the start of the season.

Meanwhile, at a conference room table in MTC, Oscar was confused. Which, as of late, was a common occurrence when it came to you and Lando.

“Mate,” Oscar addressed Lando, “if you’re not talking about Friday, what date did you ask Y/N about? She hasn’t been on a date in forever.”

“Well then he must have canceled on her because she was supposed to have plans yesterday, it’s why she took days off.”

“I don’t know the exact reason why she took days off but she told me on Friday that she was and didn’t seem too happy about it. Said it was personal reasons.”

“Going on a date is personal.”

“Not ‘take two days off of work’ personal! Where are you even getting this information?”

Lando looked away sheepishly, afraid to admit to Oscar that he had eavesdropped on a private conversation between you and Zak. With Oscar looking at him expectantly, and a bit like a pissed-off Mum, he blurted it out.

“I heard her talking to Zak! Last week on Friday, when I was looking for her, she was in his office and the door was cracked. She had asked him for a couple days off and talked about how she recently started seeing someone and was seeing him again on Tuesday aka yesterday.”

Now Oscar was really confused. You had cried over Lando publicly on Friday, and he knew you fairly well, which meant there was no way you would be crying over Lando and going out with someone else four days later.

“I think you need to just talk to her because I promise you, she is not seeing someone. Also, what do you care? You ditched her for a date on Friday.”

Oscar had a sinking feeling in his stomach as he watched Lando’s face fall.

“Lando, tell me you didn’t.”

“I might have.”

“Jesus, Lando, you heard 30 seconds of a conversation and decided to lie to her? Because what, your ego took a blow? Some caveman instinct?”

“No, I don’t know, honestly. It just slipped out! I had planned to ask her out for real and when I heard her say ‘I’m seeing someone’, I just didn’t know how to be around her. I couldn’t be around her that night.”

“You need to go talk to her. Apologize. Preferably, immediately.”

Lando jumped up from his seat and sighed. “You’re right. She might kill me, and she has every right to, but I have to talk to her and apologize to her. Wish me luck!”

Before Oscar could do what Lando had asked, Lando raced off towards your office, barely stopping himself from tripping over his own two feet.

Across MTC, you had just settled your mind and gotten into a groove of catching up on emails and making progress on deadlines. As soon as you thought to yourself that the day was going better than expected, your office door flung open and Lando Norris was standing stiff in your doorway.

“Lan, I told you that I’m busy. What is going on?” Annoyance was evident in your voice and Lando cringed knowing that this conversation was probably not going to be very pleasant.

“Why did you take time off?”

Your body straightened in shock, of all the things he could have asked you after bombarding you in your office, you wouldn’t have guessed he would pry into your personal life.

“That’s none of your business, Lando. If you were worried about me, you could have reached out, but I haven’t heard from you since you ditched me on Friday.”

Lando could see the hurt on your face, he could see it evident in your body language. He thought back to how you had looked upset immediately when he told you on Friday that he couldn’t go with you – when he told himself it had nothing to do with you wanting to spend time with him.

“I’m sorry,” he breathed. “I’m sorry for that, it wasn’t – I mean I didn’t, I didn’t want to not go. I just didn’t know what to do.”

“Ok, I’m totally lost. You didn’t know what to do about what, Lando?”

He steeled himself for your reaction – something he had learned by being your friend for the past year was that you held trust and truth in high regard. You didn’t like being lied to, and you didn’t like people trying to dig into your life or get information you weren’t willing to share.

“I heard you in Zak’s office. I wasn’t eavesdropping on purpose, I swear, I was looking for you because you were late meeting me. Oscar told me you might be with Zak so I went there and the door was open. And I heard you. So I lied and told you that I couldn’t go to dinner, I don’t know why I said I had a date. All I could focus on was how hurt I was, I just couldn’t be around you and then I felt so stupid and terrible for lying so that’s why I didn’t text you at all.”

You were completely and utterly perplexed – you couldn’t even react with anger at the thought of Lando listening to a private conversation and outright lying to you. What could he have overheard that he was so upset about?

“Lando, I’m still confused. What did you hear? How did I hurt you?”

“No, no, you didn’t hurt me. You have no idea how I feel about you – I was going to tell you that night.” Lando was word-vomiting at this point, he never wanted you to find out this way but he couldn’t stop rambling. “I have had feelings for you for so long, and I finally decided that I was going to tell you even if I was convinced you don’t feel the same. And now I know you don’t because you’re seeing someone and – ”

You interrupted him sternly, allowing the anger you were feeling to come forth and shoving down your confusion. “I’m not dating anyone? Is that why you asked Oscar about my ‘date’? Where did you get that idea?”

“You told Zak that you’re seeing someone and that it’s new but things are going good. I heard you say you were seeing him again on Tuesday.”

Your eyes doubled in size – if you weren’t so pissed off, you might have found humor in this, but you felt heat rising to your cheeks and your stomach churned at the thought of divulging your personal struggles.

“Lando, I’m seeing a therapist,” you hissed.

He froze for a moment, then scrambled to shut your door which was still ajar from him barging in.

“A therapist? Are you okay? What’s going on, why didn’t you tell me that you’ve been struggling?”

“No, no, you don’t get to do this right now. You don’t get to make me less angry by being kind and caring.”

“I’m not doing it to make you less angry, Y/N, I genuinely – ”

“I don’t care, Lando! You eavesdropped on my private conversation, misunderstood the context of that conversation, and then you lied to me. You hurt me. And now, because you got your feelings hurt and did things you shouldn’t have done, I have to share something I wasn’t comfortable sharing with you just yet.”

Lando was speechless – you could see the remorse on his face, the tears threatening to spill from his eyes, but in that moment you wanted him to feel even worse than you were.

“And you want to know the worst part,” you cried. “I feel the same way about you. I cried to Oscar at dinner because I thought you were with someone else, that you would have rather been at dinner with a different girl.”

“Y/N, I’m so sorry. Can we please just go somewhere and talk? Really talk this out? I know I messed up, but this doesn’t have to change things or how we feel about each other.”

You wanted to, god, did you want to – you knew Lando hadn’t done any of this on purpose. You knew he didn’t have malicious intent and you knew how hurt he probably felt at the idea of you being with someone – it was exactly the way you felt when you thought the same about him.

“I think you should go, Lan”. Despite every part of you wanting to sit and talk, you knew that you needed some time to settle down.

“Ok,” he whispered. “When you’re ready,” he paused, swallowing the lump in his throat, “if you’re ever ready, you know where to find me.”

His posture made you feel sick as he left your office – Lando was always confident, shoulders back and head held high, but as you watched him through the glass walls surrounding you, he was hunched over. Dejected. You’d only ever seen him that way a few times – after he was torn apart by the media or after making a mistake during a race.

It hurt you to see him that way. But, he had also hurt you, and you needed time.

It had been two weeks since “the incident” with Lando – that’s what Oscar started calling it and it stuck. Fight felt too strong, disagreement felt too weak, so it became something nameless. Undefined. Indeterminate. Exactly like what existed now between you and Lando.

Oscar and Lando were set to leave for Sakhir in a week and you wouldn’t see them again until you joined the team for the Australian GP. If you didn’t work things out with Lando before they left for testing, it would be well over a month without a resolution.

The thought made your eyes burn with tears – you were still upset but more than that you missed Lando. You didn’t even have to wonder if he felt the same because you’d seen him around MTC. He looked just as awful as you, if not worse, yet you couldn’t bring yourself to start a conversation.

You began packing up your things to leave the office, grateful beyond belief that it was a Friday and you’d have two days without seeing Lando’s familiar curls everywhere you turned. At least at home, you would only see them behind closed eyes and wouldn’t have to blink back tears.

A knock at your door startled you, but you assumed it was your team lead looking for your latest analytics report. At least there was one thing you could be happy about – the car data was phenomenal and all signs were pointing to an amazing season for McLaren.

You told whoever was knocking to come in, not looking up from your bag as you rifled through your files. “So sorry, Tom, I meant to bring this to you earlier but I – ”

A throat clearing cut you off, and you looked up to see Lando standing in your doorway with a bouquet of your favorite flowers and one of those cheesy “I’m sorry” balloons in his left hand. You almost giggled, but then you looked at his face and your heart dropped. Dark circles under red-rimmed eyes - he looked awful. 

“I know you said you’d reach out when you’re ready to talk, and I wanted to respect that and give you all the space you need. But, we’re both miserable. At least I think you’re miserable, I know I am. I miss you terribly. I miss my friend. And if that’s all you’ll ever be to me, I can respect that and I will cherish it because the past week has been the worst week of my life.”

“Lando, I – ”

“Please, please let me get all of this out. Please let me apologize.”

You smiled slightly, nodding your head for him to continue.

“I’m sorry for invading your privacy. It wasn’t on purpose but I should have left as soon as I heard you talking because I know how important trust is to you. I violated yours and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for lying to you. It doesn’t matter if I was hurt, I could’ve just said I wasn’t feeling well or asked you about what I overheard immediately. After apologizing for overhearing, of course. I’m sorry that it took Oscar talking sense into me for me to come to you in the first place. I’m sorry that I hurt you and I’m sorry that I behaved like a child instead of talking to you about my feelings. My actions made you feel forced to tell me something personal that you weren’t ready to share. I’m so sorry, and I hope you know that I’m here for you always.”

He let out a deep breath and you watched his shoulders relax slightly for the first time in two weeks. You knew he was sorry – you’d known how sorry he was immediately when he started explaining and apologizing the first time around, but you just weren’t ready to hear it yet.

“Thank you, Lan,” you whispered as you walked towards him and took his free hand in your own. “I know you’re sorry and I know that this was all a misunderstanding that just got out of hand.”

“I am also sorry for springing my feelings on you. I wanted to tell you properly, ask you out properly, but I couldn’t explain myself without telling you. I ruined everything, it was woefully unromantic.”

“Yeah, that was a bit shit, I didn’t get my big grand gesture or anything.”

Lando’s eyes grew wide, a hopeful gleam in them. “I mean, would you – is that something you would still want? I don’t want to pressure you and I don’t want to assume that you still feel the same.”

“I do,” you said softly. “But, I think we should work on really moving past this before we officially jump into anything more.”

“I completely agree. However, I do have a reservation for two in about forty minutes to make up for ditching you, if you’d like to join me? Otherwise, I’ll have to bring Oscar. He won’t stop talking about the cheese garlic bread.”

“No, Lando, you don’t understand. He ordered three baskets. I went home and typed an apology email to Zak for ruining his diet.”

You both erupted in giggles, leaning into each other for support and out of habit. It felt so good to laugh, the weight and stress of the past two weeks rolling off in waves as Lando’s shoulder bumped yours and you heard the unmistakable laughter that you’d come to love so much.

“Maybe we should bring him anyway,” you pondered. “He’s been an exceptionally good friend to us both the past couple of weeks.”

“He can come next time, I’d like you to myself for the evening. If that’s ok?”

“More than ok, Lan. I’ve really missed you.”

He leaned in quickly, kissing your cheek gently and then nuzzling his nose against your neck, inhaling the scent of the perfume he’d gifted you for your last birthday. “Not as much as I’ve missed you,” he objected, his eyes glimmering slightly. Wet eyelashes fluttered against your neck as he stayed tucked into your side for a few more moments.

“We’re going to be late,” you whispered, with a sincere lack of urgency.

“Can we go back to my hotel room instead? Watch a movie and order in? Jus’ wanna hold you.”

Your heart constricted – as much as you wanted to tease him and say he owed you a night out and your favorite meal, you wanted nothing more than to spend the night in Lando’s arms.

“Of course, Lan. I think I need that too.”

On the way to Lando’s car, you passed Oscar who gave you both a knowing smile and a short wave. If you asked him if he had been waiting for you guys to leave, he would deny it. He would deny being so invested in your reconciliation that he waited close to an hour after he could leave for the day to make sure you were both ok. He would also deny that he tracked both of you and when it dawned on him that you were skipping your dinner, he sped to that little Italian place and stole your reservation for an order (or two) of cheese garlic bread.

He couldn’t resist sending a poorly taken picture to the group chat with the three of you and you burst out laughing when you opened it.

“Lan, Oscar somehow stole our dinner res,” you giggled, turning your phone to show Lando an unmistakable basket of bread and a follow-up text with several heart emojis.

Lando held his phone up to snap a quick selfie of you two cuddled up in bed, him leaning in for the second time that evening to place a gentle kiss on your cheek. Almost immediately after it delivered, your phones lit up with another text from Oscar.

HOT DATE FR THIS TIME?

You and Lando looked at each other and smiled, the mutual understanding of where you stood with your feelings evident.

not quite yet, but soon :)

[suiana]

need more killer harem and organ seller

(yandere! killer harem x gn! organ seller reader) (first fic of 2024 oh em gee 😋😋)

"it's going to be 2024."

"yeah."

you reply to his statement as you stand motionlessly, staring up at the night sky as your provider for the day stands beside you. you tug at your turtleneck sweater nervously, avoiding his gaze as you attempt to ignore how he inches closer to you with each passing second.

you two remain silent after that, him staring affectionately at you and you standing awkwardly beside him. you nervously eye the railing you leaned against, watching as the crowd below you engages in merry discussion. gulping awkwardly, you play with your hands as you mentally curse yourself for deciding to accept his offer of watching the new year's fireworks with him. you should've known better than to accept one of your lovesick admirers hand in something so romantic.

plus, it's not like you did anything like this for any of your other partners. sure, you kissed a few, held some tenderly, indulged multiple on dates, maybe even fucked one or two... but you've never agreed to watch fireworks like lovers do! speaking of which...

it's almost creepy how each and every one of your business partners turn out infatuated with you one way or another. was it the air? was it because they were all mentally insane? you don't know and you couldn't bother to care. because the more you know, the deeper you fall into the rabbit hole of their lives.

so you don't know why you've decided to indulge this organ provider for today. especially since... he looks more deranged than the rest.

"hey, can i ask something?"

he asks, staring at you with that same creepy smile that sends chills up your spine. yet, you nod in response to his question. he simply laughs at that, turning to look at the night sky before mumbling softly.

"would you choose me out of everyone else?"

you pause, looking at him with narrowed eyes before shaking your head. you're not going to entertain any nonsense. you knew you should've left earlier-

"mn... that's too bad. i would've chosen you in a crowd of others. it hurts me to know you wouldn't do the same."

he holds your wrist tightly, mumbling in faux hurt as he smiles eerily at you. you freeze, not moving as you glare at your business partner. damn, you can't believe you actually agreed to be here with him in the first place.

"let go."

"nah. i like holding you."

you grit your teeth, but do nothing to break free as you continue to stare at him. he merely hums in response, smiling as he looks across the city skyline.

all of a sudden, he pins you to the railing, face way too close for comfort.

"mn... you're so cute like this... can i kiss you?"

you squirm under his grip, heart beating loudly as all you can focus on is his eager face.

"g-get off!"

you huff, pushing at his chest as you sweat nervously. shit, he could easily push you over the railing and you'd be mush like some of his victims- that's when you felt his lips brush against yours, kissing your cheek as his hands go to the back of your neck.

you stop in place, looking up as he pulls away only to realize that it was a new year. your fingers gently touch your cheek as you eye him. he didn't kiss you on the lips? what was he up to?

"haha! how silly you are. i just wanted to give you a new year's present. don't be so tense."

he gestures to the necklace around your neck. ah... so that's what he did...

"and there was ice cream on your face from just now. didn't tell you cause i thought you'd notice but you're much more clumsier than i thought! don't worry, i cleaned it for ya. free of charge~"

he winks at you before grinning.

"happy new year. i hope you'll make the right choice when the time comes."

he then waves at you before turning around, leaving you alone to you thoughts as the sound of the fireworks takes your attention. right choice huh... was this a sign that your business partners were planning something? you sure hope not...

you wouldn't want to have to make such a difficult choice. especially since choosing just one would mean you'd make enemies out of the rest. you sigh out, rubbing your temples before leaning against the railing again. oh well, you'll just enjoy the pretty display for now. after all, that's what you came for. you'll deal with the problems later.

"...happy new year, i guess."

yeah, what a happy new year this year will be :)

[myseungsunglove]

More than Willing | Ksm

Pairing: Seungmin x reader 

Warnings: Smut, piv sex, no protection (Wrap it before you tap it and all that advice) friends to lovers, language 

Word Count: 3.5k

𖠫Summary: Seungmin has been your constant since the moment you joined JYP Entertainment. He’s been your safe haven and your biggest supporter. When you became the 9th addition to Stray Kids in 2020, it only brought the two of you closer, but over the years there has been an unspeakable tension boiling at the surface, just waiting for a weak spot to break through and rear it's tempting head. 

✎A/N✎: This has been in rolling around in my head for a few weeks now. I think I’ve played it out enough that it’s time to put one to paper. Hope you enjoy. 

◠ ◡ ◠᭚ιαᵕ̈

「© February 28, 2024 by myseungsunglove」

XMDNIX

“Oh. My. God.” you sigh dramatically as you plop onto the king size bed in your NYC hotel room. “I can’t believe that just happened!” you giggle and groan all in one breath. “God I’m sore,” you grumble, throwing your arms to the side of you so that you look like a starfish on display in the bed. 

“Pff,” Seungmin scoffs playfully as he knees the foot that is dangling off the edge of the bed. “Welcome to life on tour,” he smiles down at you. “I can give you one of my famous massages later,” he teases, winking at you. “How does it feel to have your first performance in the US as a member of Stray Kids behind you?” 

You smile and sigh happily, reaching out a hand so he can help you up. He takes it gladly, moving to help you sit up, but instead he finds himself being pulled onto the bed, toppling not so gracefully on top of you with an exasperated laugh. You grunt at the weight of his body landing on you, but can’t help the laugh that escapes you. 

“It feels like I’m on cloud 9 with a 120 pound weight on my chest,” you tease, looking up into his eyes as he remains where he landed. 

“God, sorry,” he giggles, pushing himself off of you and rolling to lay beside you. “There really isn’t anything quite like that post concert high, is there?” He smiles wide, looking at you and a laugh tumbles from him. The cadence of his laugh sounds like a song. It’s beautiful and contagious and before you know it, you’re both giggling for absolutely no reason other than the sheer joy of the occasion.

 After the laughing fit has passed, you let your arm fall across Sungmin's chest. It lands with a dramatic thud and a low umph is punched from his lungs. You chuckle again and work hard to keep another giggling fit at bay.

“The only thing that makes it better is that I get to spend it with my best friend,” you sigh, running your hand along his chest over the Maniac hoodie he is still wearing. “But fuck my muscles hurt like a bitch,” you laugh again as you smack his chest playfully and sit up with an exhausted sigh. “I really need a shower,” you add, pushing your hair out of your face. It’s late June in New York, and it’s a hot one. 

“Yeah you do,” Seungmin smirks beside you. “You kinda smell,” he teases, sniffing the air and pulling a disgusted face. “Dibs on the shower first!” He laughs, jumping up from the bed and darting into the huge bathroom.

“Ya! Kim Seungmin you little shit!” you yell after him, hot on his tail only to have the door slam in your face. The last thing you see is a braces filled smile gleaming at you followed by maniacal laughter from behind the door. “Ah fuck you!” 

“You wish!” he sing songs as he turns on the shower. You do a 180 and stomp dramatically into the living area, throwing yourself on the couch. Your head thuds against the back of it and you are starkly reminded just how sore your muscles are. This is your first world tour with the boys, having joined them right at the start of Covid and you didn’t realize just how demanding “regular” idol life could be. All you had known was life as a “Covid idol” as you liked to joke. It was still busy, but this was a whole new level of busy. Not to mention you were already prepping for a comeback in October. 

You grabbed your phone from the coffee table and turned on your playlist. Seungmin’s voice from his Hometown Cha Cha Cha OST rings out and you can’t help but laugh. His voice is your favorite in the whole world. You still can’t believe he is your best friend. You look around the room and sigh happily. The two of you always share a room when traveling, even when the company gets everyone else their own room. Seungmin always insists that he be with you, for safety reasons, he claims. 

Sure you do feel a little more at ease with him in the same room when you are far from the safety of your dorms, but Seungmin knows you can handle yourself. The company initially forced you to room with someone, putting you with staff the first times you traveled. While you love each of them dearly, it hadn’t been the kind of experience you wanted or wanted to continue while traveling with SKZ and Seungmin had made sure that he was the one you roomed with from that point on. 

You breathe deeply and gradually your breaths slow and you drift into a light sleep. 

You’re eventually  stirred by a quiet albeit dramatic sigh. 

“I was gonna give you one of my famous massages,” Seungmin laments. You can hear his arms lift from his side and slap back down against his hips dramatically. 

“I’m awake,” you start, opening your eyes and blinking a few times as Seungmin’s figure comes into view. 

“That’s what I thought,” he laughs. You rub your eyes and when you open them again, you're surprised by the view. Seungmin has a towel still draped over his hips, his hair still wet. Usually he’d already be donning a white oversized T-shirt and a black pair of basketball shorts. 

You lift a scrutinizing eyebrow at him, and can’t help but let your eyes roam his body. His shoulders are broad and his chest wide. He hides it under all his oversized clothes, but he has a well built torso despite not spending a lot of time in the gym. He is dedicated to perfecting dances, and that’s evident in his build. He’s slim and toned, defined without excess. Solid. Steady.  His waist is tiny, smaller than yours, and his thighs are surprisingly thick though you can’t see them for the towel, but you know. 

Seungmin clears his throat and laughs. 

“Ya! My eyes are up here, perv,” he teases. 

A blush pulls onto your face and you stand quickly. A satisfied smirk creeps onto Seungmin’s face and the unspoken tension that’s been dancing between the two of you for the better part of a year has manifested itself right into the room with you. 

“Bought damn time,” you huff, standing and heading for the bathroom. “And you better not have been lying about that massage,” you add, your hand grazing Seungmin’s bare chest as you walk by him. He shakes his shoulders a little at your touch and tossels his wet hair around. You know goosebumps have pricked up on his skin. You don’t look back at him but you hear him clear his throat and sigh loudly as he falls against the couch with a chuckle. You can’t help but smile yourself as you step into the bathroom and close the door. 

You’re not sure how long you spend in there, but the room is full of steam and hot as hell when you finally step out and grab a towel, wrapping it around your torso. You use another towel to dry your hair so that it isn’t soaking wet and pull open the bathroom door, steam billowing out into the room, announcing your departure from the bathroom. 

“Fuck it’s hot out here too,” you complain, looking around for Seungmin. 

“You know I don’t turn down the air if I can help it,” Seungmin says. He is lying on the couch where you left him, with a towel still draped over his hips. 

“It’s not good for…”

“Not good for our voices, I know,” you interrupt him with a laugh. “Why are you still half naked?” you ask as you move into the bedroom and plop onto the bed again, holding the towel close to you so it doesn't fall. 

Seungmin isn’t far behind you and laughs at you sprawled across the bed. “Cause it’s hot as balls,” he says as he walks over to his suitcase and pulls out a pair of black shorts. He tugs them on and pulls the towel off. “You’re still half naked,” he notes, walking into the bathroom to hang it up.

“How bout that massage?” you joke as he returns to the room, still bare chested, his hands pushing his hair out of his face only to have it fall back onto his forehead, his efforts fruitless.

“Promise is a promise,” he shrugs, walking back into the bathroom. 

“You didn’t exactly promise, but if you’re willing I’m not complaining,” you sigh and pull a pillow under your head and shuffle around getting comfortable. 

“I’m more than willing,” he chuckles as he returns from the bathroom, your favorite lotion in hand. 

More than willing. You try not to let that phrase stick in your brain too much, but you can’t help but wonder what he means by it. 

“You trust me, yeah?” he asks, a serious demeanor overtaking him suddenly. His eyes meet yours and there is something there you don’t recognize. 

“Of course I do Seung,” you smile, a little nervously. 

He squeezes some lotion onto his hand, rubbing his large hands together as he keeps his eyes on you. He reaches down and grabs your foot, massaging gently as he asks his next question. 

“If you want me to stop, you’ll tell me?” He presses his thumb into the arch of your foot and a small moan escapes you. 

“Yes,” you breathe out as he sets one foot down and gives the other the same treatment. 

“Yes what?” he asks, and there is a teasing lilt to his voice now but a sense of command there as well. 

“Yes, I’ll tell you to stop if that’s what I want,” you sigh as his hands move up to your calf and knead into them. You take a deep breath when both his hands slide over your knees and squeeze earnestly at your thighs. You don’t mean for the quiet moan to escape you, but Seungmin’s hands have always been good at this. However, he has never touched you quite like this. There is something different about the way his hands move up and down your thighs, your skin on fire as he moves his long fingers to the outside of your thighs and up along where your leg and hip meet. 

You realize the towel has ridden up and remember you are still completely naked underneath. 

Seungmin seems to notice your embarrassment and digs deeper into your hips and chuckles when you moan louder, your hands flying up to your face. 

“I won’t look if you don’t want me to,” he says, his hands not leaving your body as they move up your sides and under the towel. “Though, this would be easier without the towel,” he says quietly, his hands dancing along your sides lightly. 

You’re not sure what comes over you, but you open the towel and let it fall to your sides, completely naked before him. 

He shoots up suddenly, his hands off you in seconds as he turns around quickly. He runs his hands through his hair and his head falls forward as his long fingers dig into his neck, his elbows resting against his knees. You can’t help but watch the way his back ripples with his movements and you have to stop yourself from reaching out and running your hands over his shoulders.  

“God, y/n, warn a guy first,” he chuckles nervously. 

“You said it’d be easier,” you reply, reaching out and running your hand along his arm, pulling at it to get him to look at your face. “And maybe I want you to look,” you add when his big brown boba eyes meet yours. His tongue darts out and wets his bottom lip as his eyes dart down briefly at your mouth and back up to your eyes. His stare is intense and you feel like your body is on fire from the inside out from his look alone, and he hasn’t even really looked at you, but the thought  propels you forward. 

You take his hand and place it on your ribs, your hand resting gently over his. His fingers splay across your skin slowly and then squeeze at your sides, causing you to arch into his touch. He turns around then his knees back on the bed as his other hand lands on your ribs. He squeezes them, his hands slowly sliding up under your breast and back down again, causing you to let out a breath that you don’t realize you are holding. 

You can’t take the tension anymore. You feel like you’re going to burst if you don’t do something. 

“Kiss me,” the words fall desperately from your lips as your chest heaves tremulously under Seungmin’s gaze and touch. 

His mouth gapes slightly, but when you reach out and touch his neck, his brain catches up and he lets you pull him down to your face. 

“You want me to kiss you?” he asks, his eyes roaming your face as his hands stay firmly on your sides. 

“God yes,” you breathe out and that seems to be all the permission he needs. His hands tuck under your back and he pulls your body flush against him as his lips find yours. You’d been watching Seungmin sing for years, but nothing prepared you for how soft his lips are. Your chests are pressed against each other as your mouths open to each other, his tongue slipping between your lips and tasting you in earnest. You cling to him as he rolls you to lay on top of him, his hands roaming your back as he kisses you breathless. 

When your lungs are on fire and your skin ablaze and flushed, he pulls away, your name a whisper on Seungmin’s mouth. His lips are swollen and puffy and he looks  more beautiful than you have ever seen him, his skin flushed and his hair a disheveled mess. 

“Holy shit,” he breathes with a laugh as you kiss along his jaw and down his neck. “Fuck,” he moans when you nip at his pulse point then lave your tongue over it to smooth the ache. “Are we really doing this?” he asks, his hands settling on your hips.

“I can’t even tell you how long I’ve wanted you like this Seungmin,” you admit as you roll over beside him and hide behind your hands, suddenly starkly aware of the situation at hand, of the position you now find yourself in. 

Seungmin quickly moves on top of you, his hips settling against yours, his covered erection evident against your cunt as he rolls his hips into you. He moves your hands away from your face before he speaks. 

“Then have me,” he breathes out desperately, his lips locking with yours. He kisses you hard and deep and you can feel his braces against you as he moves against your lips. Your hands run down his back and over his hips as you desperately push his shorts past his ass. He lifts off you slightly, not wanting to break the kiss and pulls the shorts off completely, kicking them off as he settles back between your legs, his hard cock now running through your folds and your sweaty bodies moving slowly against one another.

 His hands are everywhere at once as he takes his opportunity to  move his kisses across your jaw and down the column of your neck. His lips trail across your collarbone and he sucks several marks onto your skin as you moan desperately and arch into his mouth. When his lips find your hardened nipple, his tongue swirling around it before sucking it into your mouth, a broken sob shakes your body. 

Seungmin lavishes your body with attention before trailing his way back up to your mouth. He kisses you slowly, his hips canting against yours as he confesses. 

“I can’t believe you want me too,” he breathes against your lips, his hand softly holding your face as his thumb swipes across your cheek. “My beautiful best friend. My y/n,” he sighs and kisses you again. “I love you,” he pants against your mouth. 

“Then show me how much,” you respond, your legs falling open more. 

He reaches between your bodies and grasps his dick in hand, running it through your folds before lining himself up with your wet entrance. “You're sure?” he asks, the head of his cock breaching you slowly.

You arch into him, your hands running down his back and settling on his ass as you help him ease into you. 

“I’ve never been more sure of anything, Minnie,” you let out your airy confession. “I love you so fucking much.” 

His lips find yours again, his hand on the side of your face and in that moment, you think you could lie there and kiss him forever and be completely satisfied. It’s only when he pulls out of you and slowly slides back in, his hips meeting yours and pressing hard against your body, that a moan falls from you and your brought back to the reality that you’re fucking your best friend. No, you're making love to your best friend. 

His hips find a slow and steady rhythm as he pulls away from your lips just enough to look into your eyes as he pushes in and pulls out of you. Your mouth falls open, small puffs of air cascading out of you with each press of his hips, his cock reaching that spot inside of you that sets you on fire in a whole new way. 

Your hands roam his back and move up to his shoulder, his pace slowly picking up as you squeeze around him, your head thrown back in pure ecstasy. 

“Fuck,” you moan, moving your body to meet his as you start to feel that coil tighten in your abdomen. 

“Fuck,” Seungmin echos, as your bodies slap together, his stomach tightening, that blissful release eminent. “Y/n, I’m gonna come,” he warns.

Your legs wrap around his hips, holding him to you as he drives into you, his rhythm now erratic. He reaches between you and starts to rub circles around your clit. 

“Seungmin,” you moan and arch into his touch, your walls squeezing around him. That’s all it takes for him to spill into you, his pace briefly quickening when his climax hits him. That’s what pulls you over the edge, his hands moving to your hips once he feels you flutter around him, his seed warm as it overflows from your pussy and drips down over his balls and down your ass as you quiver beneath him.

Your hands reach out for his face, pulling him into a kiss once more. 

“I love you, Kim Seungmin,” you whisper against his lips as he settles against your body, his hand running up and down your sides lovingly as he kisses you slowly again. 

“I’m so in love with you,” he confesses, looking into your eyes. “I’ve wanted you for so long,” his cheeks blush and you place your hands on both sides of his face. 

“You have me now,” you tell him, pulling him in again to kiss him hard. 

Suddenly he is laughing against your kiss and pulls away from you. 

“I don’t think this probably helped with your muscle soreness,” he jokes, pulling out of you and moving to get up from the bed. 

You laugh out loud, slapping his chest as he pulls away from you, his hand reaching out to pull you up. 

“Definitely made it worse,” you agree with a playful laugh. “Not that I mind,” you add as he pulls you up from the bed. 

“Shower,” he says as he tugs you toward the bathroom. “This time I won’t lock you out,” he winks as you step into the bathroom and he moves to turn on the shower. “You’ll  really get that massage now,” he smiles mischievously, pulling you into the shower with him. 

Your laughter is muffled by a teasing kiss and you can’t help but think what a wonderful tour this is going to turn out to be. 

[mysteryshoptls]

2024-2025 Player Birthday Login Message Lines

These are all the messages that you get from the boys when you log in on the birthday that you set in-game from 18 Mar 2024 to 17 Mar 2025! For those that want to hear them, you can find them in the Archive, under the tab その他　→　監督生バースデー④. (This will not be in your game archives until the birthday you set passes.)

You can find the 2021-2022 Birthday Login Message Lines here! You can find the 2022-2023 Birthday Login Message Lines here! You can find the 2023-2024 Birthday Login Message Lines here!

HEARTSLABYUL

Riddle

Happy Birthday, [Yuu]. Thanks for always looking out for those two dorm students of mine. Actually, we're planning on hosting a reception this weekend at our dorm. I would like to invite you, as part of your birthday celebration. Heh. My apologies. Looks like that has caused you a little anxiety. No worries, I'll be beside you teaching you the proper manners the whole time.

Ace

Yo, [Yuu]. Happy Birthday― Mmkay, so let's get started on the birthday party. I'm just gonna pop on over to this one restaurant in town and nab some tasty-lookin' stuff! Just chill and wait here at Ramshackle... Hey, c'mon, I ain't tryin' to pull anything over on ya. Sometimes I just want to have a normal celebration too, y'know!

Deuce

[Yuu], Happy Birthday! Let me take you to go buy a prese... Eh? You're saying that I've already given you a present because I fixed the broken lights in Ramshackle the other day...? No way, you don't gotta hold back like that! I want to go all out for my pal's special day. That's what makes me happy.

Cater

[Yuu]-chan, Happy Birthday―☆ Did ya post on Magicam that it's your birthday? Oh, not yet? Then, let Cay-kun here with all his power and wisdom write a post for you! We'll attach a cool photo and some slammin' hashtags... Whaddya think? A perfect gift from me, or what?

Trey

Happy Birthday. So, about your present... I do have one. It's just... I was asking around for what to gift you and in the end, I couldn't really figure out what I should get... So in the end, after being at a loss, I ended up getting you this shirt. I look at it now and wonder what possessed me to pick this pattern... Yeah, I know, it's just laughable.

SAVANACLAW

Leona

Yeah, yeah. Your birthday's come 'round again, hooray. ...What're you doing, setting up a chessboard on the floor like that? You practiced just to win a game against me? Oho, so you're challenging me, then. Look at the pluck on this herbivore. So, what're you willing to bet, then? No way you're gettin' away with just a simple game after throwin' down the gauntlet at me like this.

Jack

So, it's your birthday today. Have you set up any new goals yet? What, you're going to surpass me in our classes? Heh, that's a hilarious joke. You really think you can beat me? But I'll take you on. If you get a better score on our next test, I'll get you some kind of present.

Ruggie

Happy Birthday―! 'N that means, I got you somethin' that's fittin' comin' from an upperclassman like me. Ta-da! A homemade fishing rod～ ...Ah, you totally just thought it's a cheap gift, didn'tcha! But this totally works! I know what it's like to go hungry too, y'know～ You're probably always goin' through things, so if you're ever in a pinch, make sure you use this!

OCTAVINELLE

Azul

A very Happy Birthday to you. Have you thought of a gift you'd like to get for yourself? Please, allow me to procure it for you... ...Oho, you have a keen eye to request something of that caliber. It may be considerably difficult to just anyone to acquire. HOW-EV-ER! If I were to handle it, that is a different situation altogether. I shall definitely make sure to retrieve it for you. Please wait expectantly.

Jade

Happy tidings for your birthday. I do hope this year will be another fruitful year for you. By the way, [Yuu]-san. Have you eaten yet? Oh, not yet, how wonderful. As a matter of fact, I thought I would treat you to something in my own little way. I only offer this with the best of intentions, of course. Fufu.

Floyd

Oh hey, Shrimpy-chan. It's your birthday today, huh. Mmkay, then I'll give you some snacks. I got these strange tastin' gummies, these wicked hard cookies, and some squishy jerky. Awesome, right? I got a ton, but all of them expire today, so. These are my presents to you, so you better eat them all without wastin' any, 'kay?

SCARABIA

Kalim

[Yuu], Happy Birthday! Here's your present, from me to you. Ahaha, did that surprise you? I tried making a pop up birthday card just for you. I also tried making a ton of paper flowers that we use during celebrations back in the Scalding Sands. Don'tcha think they came out real pretty?

Jamil

Happy Birthday, [Yuu]. It isn't much, but here's your present. Ramshackle is a fairly old building. I'm sure there are bugs that will find their way in and try to settle down here. However, if you use this, you can rid yourself of all of them in an instant. I can vouch for its effectiveness. Use it as soon as you can.

POMEFIORE

Vil

Happy Birthday, [Yuu]. ...You wish for me to come to your party here, at Ramshackle? And to top it all off, you've prepared a healthy menu just for me... Heh, how considerate of you. Very well. I suppose I can make an appearance out of respect for your enthusiasm. I do hope you're honored that I'll be there to celebrate with you.

Epel

Happy Birthday! I put in a lot of thought picking out a present for you. Here ya go, fingerless gloves! Nice design, right? Makes using your phone a lot easier, too. It'll make you look super cool, and the more you use it, the more comfy it'll feel. I hope you use it tons!

Rook

I've been waiting, Trickster. Waiting, that is, to celebrate your birthday with you. A spectacular day requires a spectacular memory. That is why I've come up with a wonderful plan of my own. First, we watch two back-to-back theater performances, then attend a poetry reading, and finally, watch a movie in the evening. There will be no time to rest. Come, we must quickly fly towards the theater!

IGNIHYDE

Idia

Kk, time to pretend we all get along and celebrate a birthday again... Eep!? D-Did you hear that just now...? Uh, so... Happy B-day, I guess... Soz, I don't have a present for you. Didn't even know it was your birthday... What, you're seriously just happy hearing me wish you a happy b-day? [siiigh] Nah, I'll order something small online and have it shipped to Ramshackle sometime later.

Ortho

Happy Birthday! Here's your present. Go ahead and open it! Hehe, you see what I did? I used a laser to engrave a birthday message on a glass tumbler for you. It was a little difficult fine tuning the power adjustment for the more detailed parts, but it came out pretty good, don't you think? I really hope you like it!

DIASOMNIA

Malleus

Child of Man, I see today is your birthday. ...Hm? What's the matter? You look a tad glum. Ah, I see, you are struggling to carry all your presents. Well, allow me to deliver them to Ramshackle with magic in your stead. No need to protest, this is an effortless task for someone like me. You should enjoy your special day to the utmost.

Silver

Happy Birthday. You're curious about this braided cord? It is your present. Lilia-senpai explained it to me thusly... If a string wrapped around your wrist or ankle snaps off on its own, then your wish will be granted. I strung this cord together in hopes that you may have your wishes come true. It may be a tad ill-shaped, but if it pleases you, it is yours.

Sebek

As I recall, today is your birthday... Hm? You want me to come to your birthday party? What poor semblance of a joke. I don't have the spare time to waltz into some human gathering like... WHAT!? MY LIEGE HIMSELF WILL ALSO BE THERE!? THEN SAY THAT FIRST! For goodness' sake, humans like you are just... so thoroughly thoughtless. Hurry and provide me the location and commencement time!

Lilia

Ooh, nice. So today's your birthday. Just look at how big you're getting. ...Khee hee hee. Don't look so downtrodden. It's just me pretending to be a doting gramps. The other guys in my dorm don't ever let me joke with them like that. And so, I have a present for you. Here, a CD of my performances, specially made! Take this and enjoy my raging screamo music with your whole heart and body.

OTHERS

Crowley and Rollo do not have new lines. Theirs are repeated from last year's.

Grim

Today's your birthday, huh. Happy Birthday to you! ...Huh? Do I got a gift for ya? What're ya even saying? Shouldn't ya be happy enough that you're my number one favorite henchie? Fiiine. Guess I can use my paws to pad you a massage sometime. Wouldn't want to hafta sit in a hard and uncomfy lap, after all!

Requested by Anonymous.

[amourdivine]

୨ ♡ ୧︰ WHOSE MIND ARE YOU ON?   ઉ   PAC.

Hello, angels! I hope you're doing well! Today, I bring to you one of my favorite reading topics. Let's get curious and see whose mind are you on, shall we? If you liked this reading, please consider tipping me at @ amourdivinetarot@gmail.com via paypal! xo ♡

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HOW TO CHOOSE YOUR PILE.  take a few deep breaths and look at each picture separately. see which one brings you to a feeling, a place or a memory. take your time and feel free to come back to it later!

amourdivine. 2021 - 2024 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.

୨୧ PILE ONE

ace of pentacles ✧ the tower ✧ two of wands

Oh, this is someone whom you've had a huge falling out with. The aftermath has left both of you scarred, the foundation of your connection has crumbled, but both of you still check up on one another. For one half of this pile, this is purely platonic, like an ex friend or co-worker. For the other half, this was a friends with benefit situation... feelings made things even messier and the two of you got caught up in a thunderstorm.

Regardless, this person holds so much love and so much hatred inside their heart. They're so angry, but they miss you so much. They look at your old photos, reminisce on old memories. I just saw a best friend necklace in my mind's eye. They want to talk to you, but in that exact same second, they are reminded that things aren't that way anymore. It pains them, it ails them.

They likely write about you in the form of poetry, maybe journaling. They listen to songs about you, maybe even watch or read tarot readings in the hopes of finding closure. I genuinely don't think this person means any harm towards you, you're just both incredibly hurt by one another and I think distance has done you well so far. The waters need to calm down before the two of you can talk again, feelings need to be addressed and processed before you can cross paths.

This person misses you so badly, but I think the thought of this connection still brings up a lot of triggers to the surface. You may have some harsh aspects in synastry that create this tension or perhaps the two of you are fire signs. Sort of like a harsh Mars and Pluto aspect, but take it how it resonates. For your sake, it's important you address the feelings you have for this person (be it rage, hatred or love) so you don't feel trapped by this situation.

channeled messages and signs: best friend, betrayal, 10 of swords, "how could you?", "i stay up thinking of you", pinky promises, bikes, red sweater, october, insecure, competitive, jealous, leo, pick me, saturn, 333, 7, "you were mine".

୨୧ PILE TWO

the world ✧ the sun ✧ three of cups

Ah, this is someone who's away from you physically, but not emotionally. They love you so much. It's possible they have traveled for work or study temporarily, but they can't wait to come home to you, to be in your arms. It feels a mix of platonic and romantic energy, so please take it how it resonates. It could be someone who hasn't confessed their feelings to you verbally, but I think it's pretty darn obvious.

Either way, you make this person so happy, so giddy, so full of hope and love. You remind them that there are better times ahead and I think there's something about your smell, your embrace or smile that this person adores. You inspire them in so many ways, there's literally no one like you in this world. You're their favorite - and I think it's a mutual feeling here.

If this is someone whom you've met online, they're so eager to meet you. They probably daydream about it, they're taking active steps towards it too. They hope for ice cream-filled days under the sun and walking with you in the park. I feel very idyllic, it's wholesome and adventurous at the same time.

You bring a sense of courage and strength in this person, I think you're their "energy booster" in a way, either through your words or just who you are in general. You give this person a bit of a sweet, but fun adrenaline rush. They're so excited by the thought of you.

channeled messages and signs: cottagecore, wifey, strawberries, hot pink, neon green, astronomy, lauv, riding shotgun, roadtrip, plane flights, concert tickets, airports, "baby blue", kpop, "bestie", "bae".

୨୧ PILE THREE

ten of cups ✧ six of pentacles ✧ seven of swords (clarified by the two of cups)

This is someone well established and hardworking, someone who seems quite happy on the surface. They live in a shiny world, a perfect world. At least that's what it looks like on the surface.

This person is married and may have children already. You work with them, or under them. However happy or well-meaning this person may seem towards you, they are secretly very, very attracted to you. They want something more than professional or platonic with you, but they're keeping it under wraps right now.

I can't help but feel icky, like this person wants to have it all and that means going behind their partner's back in order to have you. I don't think they would ever come right and clean about this to anyone in this situation. You're like a shiny object this person wants to collect for themselves, but it's not like they'd care for you in any capacity. I Want it All by Arctic Monkeys started playing in my head. I think this is probably this person's view towards the world.

The Eight of Cups is at the back of the deck - be sure to not engage with this person emotionally, or any more than you already have. They're not honest about their feelings or intentions and it shows in the way they're sneaking around, while their partner's blissfully ignorant about it. Cheater, fuckboy energy!

channeled messages and signs: black and white, indie pop, millenial, 1989, 1990, power dynamics, chief, corporate nightmare, suits, fanfiction, beard, "don't look back", the fray, melancholia.

୨୧ PILE FOUR

five of cups ✧ seven of wands ✧ knight of swords

Whoever this is, I feel a more childish, impulsive energy. I don't know if this person is still in your life, but chances are they regret something they did or said to you. They're mourning your connection for the time being. I think you pulled away from them over a boundary they crossed or you stood your ground and they weren't expecting it. The friction here may not have been grand, but it was enough to make them feel guilty, regretful and even ashamed.

They're looking back on their actions and they're wishing they had a do-over. For some reason, I feel like this person is younger than you or just less experienced. They have a "younger sibling" feel to them, someone who's still a page. You were a source of stability and comfort to them, I think they still look up to you in some way, because I feel that they're ashamed over disappointing you.

However, as sad as it is, it doesn't seem like the end of your connection, for most of you. If this is a family member, like a cousin or sibling, chances are you'll both need to let this "marinate" and come back to talk about it later. They want to talk it out with you regardless, so it's not as definite as it may have seemed before. Even if you do have your guard up towards this person and vice-versa, give this connection a chance. I honestly feel like there's still a lot of love and admiration left between the two of you.

channeled messages and signs: "i wish you were here", victory, number 7, stubborn, "i'm the older one!", nitpicky, play-fighting, gossip, lullabies, bedtime stories, "i was trying to protect you", defensiveness, muddy waters, family portraits, petty, blocked.

୨୧ PILE FIVE

queen of pentacles ✧ the star ✧ five of pentacles ✧ three of wands

This is a motherly person. They could be an actual mother, an aunt, a grandma, or simply someone who embodies these nurturing traits, almost to the point of being a little overbearing. It can also be a "mom friend", someone who cares for others by giving them gifts. They're well established and might give unsolicited advice in regards to career, finances or relationships, but they mean well.

The reason why you're on this person's mind is because they're wishing you well. Maybe you suffered a loss recently, or you've been depressed and this person is hoping you can recover soon. I think you may have distanced yourself from others, but this person wants to help you. Still, they're waiting on you to reach out to them.

It's possible they've sent you flowers or "get well soon" texts and cards. I don't know why I get the feeling you were or are sick, struggling in some type of visible way and that's why they're worried. Maybe to you it doesn't seem like a big deal, but since this person is more experienced, they know how to deal with certain things and they really want to help you.

They might have offered you to stay at their place, or maybe have cooked you soup. I get very lovely, nurturing feelings from this pile. They wish you well and hope you can cheer up soon! For some, this is a person from your home country? You may be studying or working abroad and this mother figure wants you to take care of yourself. Aw!

channeled messages and signs: south korea, china, "i'm fine! i promise", subway, skip and loafer, exam season, 555, big city, hometown, missing the train, "i'm running late", overprotective, homemade meals, flu season, childhood movies, growing up, middle age crisis.

୨୧ PILE SIX

eight of cups ✧ eight of wands ✧ ten of swords ✧ the sun

This is such a back and forth energy, pile six. I won't lie, it feels difficult but exciting... but also really difficult? This person has been in and out of your life multiple times. You fight and then get back to each other. Then you fight again, going round and round.

It's interesting because The Sun is here, so you do make each other very happy, but you also make each other very miserable. I think this dynamic moved very fast unexpectedly. There's lots of attraction, but also lots of heartbreak. It could be a friends with benefits situation, maybe an ex you can't get over. I also heard "sneaky link" and the messages feel quite 18+, if you get what I mean.

You see, you enjoy this person's presence very much. Even when they tease you. And you've hurt each other many times, but I think you can't stop coming back to one another. There's this strange, unbreakable bond, but it's also a connection that triggers the both of you a lot and could've turned quite toxic.

This is the only pile where I had to pull more than four cards to channel the messages and I got the Queen of Wands. I think both of you are drawn to each other like moths to a flame, but there's some maturing needed if this connection is meant to progress. I didn't include advice in the previous pile, but the High Priestess came out for you as advice. So make sure to tune in to your emotions, your needs and how this person is engaging with you. Is this something truly fulfilling for you? How are you being called to step up your boundaries, your words and your actions? Connect to what you truly desire for yourself.

channeled messages and signs: "in my feels", drake songs, coquette aesthetic, water by tyla, pink hat, y2k, black girl magic, it girl, jennie kim, long hair, neon lights, freeze, nail art, "know your worth", boss, "cheer up buttercup", "you're so high maintenance", work crush, toxic by britney spears.

DISCLAIMER. Tarot is a divination tool, it’s not a substitute for medical and professional advice, nor is it meant to be taken as such. I don’t take responsibility for any choices made by you or others regarding my readings. Be mindful ♡

[judesmoonbeauty]

2024 Villain’s Festival: Jude Jazza Bonus Story Part 1 ♛

Fan translation only. Not 100% accurate. Please expect grammatical errors. Cybird owns everything. Feel free to re-blog, but please do NOT post my translations elsewhere. Please note, I will translate what I am able to obtain during the event. This is a two-part story with part two only available to those who rank. I can not guarantee I will receive part two. Part 2 was achieved.

Translation notes are marked with *** Alternate translation is marked with///

Kate: Haa…

(Yesterday, Victor's momentum got me nodding my head…..)

(It's a lot of responsibility to decide where all that money goes.)

Starting today, I’m sure they’ll go after my heart any way they can for the bonus.

(But, I don't think I can stand the thought of being targeted for a while….)

I think I understand a little better now how the criminals targeted by the Crown feel.

I'd like to hide myself at least for the morning to prepare my mind.

(Okay, I got out of there without anyone finding me….!)

(Let's just stay out here and kill some time and go back in this afternoon.)

???: Where are you going out so early in the morning, Princess?

(This voice is…?)

Kate: Jude…?

I slowly turned around and saw Jude standing at the gate under the dazzling morning sun.

(I knew it was Jude. But there was something wrong with the way he just spoke.)

Jude: What’s wrong? You’re making a strange face.

Kate: What's wrong with…..the way your talking?

Jude: You’re curious?

Jude: I wondered if this way of speaking will make you like me more.…..

Kate: Huh? Like?

Jude: Ah...I almost forgot. I bought this because I thought you would like it.

He hands me a paper bag, manipulating his beautiful Queen's English even though he is not at work.***(See T/L at the bottom).

It was a paper bag from my favorite bakery. The bag was warm and smelled good, as if it was freshly baked.

Kate: I can have this?

Jude: Of course. I bought it for you.

Jude: I just think it's a bit much for one person to eat.

Jude: I'm hoping we can have breakfast together…..what do you think? 

Kate: “What do I think”?!

(I can't believe you asked me for my opinion…..!? Who is this, could it be prank ......!?)

It was almost as if Victor would jump out and say something like, "Yeah! It was a huge success!

Jude is being totally strange right now.

Kate: Um, have you been working too much? Or did you hit your head?

Jude: What makes you think that?

Kate: Because you’re acting too strange! I think you should see Roger!

Jude: Am I sick? There's nothing wrong with me……but if so, I hope you’ll take care of me, Kate.

Jude scooped up my hand in a flowing gesture and dropped a kiss on its fingertips.

Kate: Eek….!!

Jude: …….

I thought I saw a vein on Jude's temple rise when he saw me scream.

I may have seen it wrong, though, because it disappeared in an instant.

Jude: I've only recently fallen for you by accident, so it's no wonder that you’re surprised.

Jude: What do you think? What if we went on a date for the day, and I let you know how I feel about you?

(Oh, he stared acting strange since today...... perhaps, without a doubt.)

Kate: Jude, did you do something elaborate like this just to collect all the bonuses?!

Jude: No way….

Kate: Because, even if heaven and earth were to topple over, there’s no way that you would fall in love with me, Jude. 

Jude: ……..

Kate: See, I knew it!

Kate: If you can get money just by spoiling me, you’d think it’s worth the money! 

Jude: Haa…..***(See T/L note at the bottom)

With a sigh, the mask of the pasted-on smile crumbled.

Jude: Ya know exactly what I’m doin’….If ya know that much, then give me what I want.

The sweet atmosphere from earlier has completely changed. Jude shoots me a sharp look.

I felt a little relieved because his eyes, which held a dangerous light, were the same as usual.

Kate: Give it…..

Jude: The winner's necklace. Ya wear it, don'tcha?

Kate: I will not give it to you!

Kate: This is my very heart and I will not give it when threatened. Because those are the rules. 

Jude: Tsk, how annoyin’. If you're gonna talk about rules, whaddaboutcha, who tried to escape from the review?

Kate: I’m not trying to escape….

Jude: If ya weren't gonna run away, where were ya goin’ to go out so early in the morning?

Kate: That’s…

Jude: Oh, I remember now. Ya were gonna go out with me, weren'tcha?

Kate: What? I didn’t promise that….

Jude: Is there any other reason why ya left the castle so early in the mornin’ other than your plans with me?

Jude: I can't imagine. Why don't we ask some of the other guys?

Kate: Is that...a threat that if I don't go out with you, you'll reveal that I tried to run away?

Jude: If that's whatcha think, then that's whatcha think.

Jude: So, whaddya doin’ today?

Kate: …….

Kate: I'm going out with you Jude.….

As I gave up and accepted the proposal, Jude smiled wryly, as if convinced of victory.

***Queen’s English. This is a literal translation. According to Cambridge Dictionary: the English language as it is spoken in the south of England, considered by some people as a standard of good English. Essentially, Jude is speaking proper, well-educated English when trying to woo Kate. 

***I believe it's self-explanatory, but I went all out on his informal speech just to contrast it with his proper English that was described as beautiful by Kate.

[Next] [Master List]

[bakerstreethound]

To Another Year

Relationship: Sherlock x lestrade!sibling reader

Warnings: mentions of fireworks, alcohol, Molly makes the briefest appearance, slight hints of jealousy, and Sherlock is a little grumpy

Summary: When the party for the new year begins at 221B, you reflect upon your year and the many blessings it's given you - that one of a new family, both blood and chosen.

All writings belong to me @bakerstreethound​ (Do NOT copy, repost, claim, or translate my works to other sites. I only publish here and on A03 under the same username) 

Word Count: 1.09k+

A/N: Happy 2024 everyone! Let's hope it's a good one. University has had me in a whirlwind this past semester and up to this winter course I'm on the tail end of. I hope to continue writing and posting more stories about our beloved detective. I know this is a few days, almost a week short of the new year, but it is Sherlock's birthday, so this works as a two-for-one gift. I sincerely hope you enjoy it. As always comments & reblogs are greatly appreciated. Huge shoutout to @strangelockd for beta reading and helping with the title! Graphic by @firefly-graphics

Mrs. Hudson rushed into the room, a bottle of champagne in one hand, the other holding a tray of sweets balanced precariously on the platter. You smiled, making your way over to help before John shoved you aside, taking the platter from her in stride. 

“Let me get that for you, Mrs. Hudson, ah yes these look swell!” John grinned, and you rolled your eyes, joining him as he popped a brownie in his mouth. 

You chuckled, biting into one as well, letting the warmth coat your tongue and suddenly you felt like a child again. “Oh, Mrs. Hudson you’ve outdone yourself truly. These are fantastic!” 

She chuckled while pulling out the glasses, clearing the table in the kitchen from the remnants of Sherlock’s experiments you’d cleared away, but somehow mysteriously popped up again.

You groaned in exasperation. You couldn’t remember the last time the kitchen, or the table for that matter had been clear of experiments or Sherlock’s current fixations. 

“Say, where is Sherlock?” John asked, taking another brownie from the tray. 

You shrugged, taking a sip from the champagne Mrs. Hudson handed you. “I haven’t the faintest idea. If he had any plans he didn't tell me.”

“Since when does he ever have plans other than dragging us along on cases?” John nudged you playfully and you sighed. 

“Sherlock always likes to go off and run around without regard to us,” Mrs. Hudson pipped in, taking a sip from her glass.” But that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun without him. Surely he’s bound to show up.” 

“Oh, I’m sure he will, he’s been on a few holiday cases up in Cardiff, from what Greg has told me,” you smiled. Speaking of the devil your phone buzzed and you moved with John and Mrs. Hudson to the living room where you promptly seated yourself in Sherlock’s chair, John following suit in his own while Mrs. Hudson sat on the couch you’d pulled closer to the chairs. 

You pulled open the text from your brother, your smile widening. Greg’s message was a selfie of him hauling a grocery bag, likely offerings for the party accompanied by an “on my way!” and a profuse apology for being late as Scotland Yard refused to close at a decent hour.

Well, a decent hour for Greg would be five, so he could sleep earlier and be to work at an even earlier time. Between the both of you, you’re more the night owl.

You take another sip of your drink, watching as John set up festive music on the telly, and opening the curtains where you were met with a rich dark sky littered with stars, the moon glowing softly. You admire the sight and you can’t imagine anything better than this or anywhere you’d rather be. 

Your phone buzzed again, met with another text from Greg. Make sure to keep Sherlock in line. 

Thanks, Greg, you think. If you had any idea where he was you would be sure to do so as he was your significant other. Yet communication on large cases tended to hinder his whereabouts. 

Pretty sure John will do a fine job once we find out where the hell Sherlock went, you shot back. 

“What’s this Grantham wants?” Sherlock burst through the door in all his glory, his beautiful Belstaff billowing around him as he fiddled with his phone. Joh chuckled, rolling his eyes at the absurdity and you huffed in amusement. 

“Wonderful to see you too my dear. Welcome home!” You rise to greet Sherlock but he’s over next to you in an instant pulling you in for a hug.

You fall into him, sure that Mrs. Hudson is giggling in a corner sending a meaningful look to John. You don’t care in the slightest, not anymore. Sherlock was always yours and you are his, despite the doubts you had from time to time through the years. 

“Oi, come on you two lovebirds is this a party or what?” Greg beamed, patting John on the shoulder, raising a glass to Mrs. Hudson. It didn’t take him long to find the drinks, you chuckled to yourself, pecking Sherlock’s cheek. “Also, my brother's name is not Grantham. You should know this by now.”

“Smart girl that one is,” Greg said, “yet she gets herself involved with the likes of Sherlock. I’ll never understand it. The Lestrades like danger over stability it seems.” 

“Oh knock it off you all,” Mrs. Hudson admonished. “At least take a few more drinks and at least eat. I bet you all haven’t eaten since lunch, and likely skipped breakfast as well.” 

You cast her a look, for she knew you all too well. “Of course, Mrs. Hudson,” you pulled yourself from Sherlock’s embrace even though it was agony to do so, your mind screaming for you to pull yourself up against him and drown in his kisses and warmth.

You quickly give your brother a hug and Greg grinned good-naturedly as you squeezed him tight. It’d been weeks since you’d seen him given the business of the holidays.

It was nice to finally settle down without the impeding stress of work and other responsibilities, relinquishing yourself to the relaxation amongst friends and family. It was why you cherished moments such as these and when you hugged Sherlock again, ruffling his curls, as he grumped, but you knew deep down he enjoyed it. 

******

Soon enough you’re all full of champagne, a filling meal, and in generally good spirits. Molly made a chance to stop by, too, and you pulled her into a warm embrace. She blushed in the dim light, not expecting it from you. You couldn’t blame her for having a crush on Sherlock all those years, but your mutual jealousy between you had faded with time and you’d come to enjoy her company.

You hand her a glass, eyes shining in mirth and at that moment you know you’ll be alright. With your found family and kin in the room, all felt right. 

Perhaps the year would be a good one after all. 

You found Sherlock in his chair observing the quieter atmosphere as everyone settled, talking quietly. You noted the way his fingers tapped on the chair impatiently and you carefully situated yourself in his lap, setting your half-empty glass on the side table.

From the window, fireworks light the sky in all their glory and soft cheers ring through 221B. You brush your lips against Sherlock’s, and he welcomes you into the dawn of what hopefully will be one of the best years in your memory.

******

[uyuforu]

Hii ^^ if you had to make new year resolutions based off on your solar revolution chart, what goals would you have? I hope it made sense 😅 Happy new year!

Solar Return Analysis (Uyu's SRC) + New Year Resolutions based off the chart

「 ✦ Hello! Happy New Year to you too! Ah, before saying any new resolutions, I thought it would be an amazing opportunity to make a Solar Return Chart analysis and then I'll post my resolutions :) ✦ 」

Here is my Solar Return for the year 2023 to 2024! Since my birthday is in august, my solar return started on the day of my birthday 2023 and it will last until my birthday 2024.

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ This SR, my sun is in 12H, meaning spirituality is very important for me this year, usually when your sun is out there, there is either a spiritual awakening, or you will have to work on your spiritual side. The 12H is also making me having a more lonely year, I'm gonna find myself alone most of the times this year because I have to work on myself a lot.

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ I also noticed that a personal planet in the 12H, if you live abroad, means coming back home, and I did come back home from South Korea 2 months before this solar return!

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ The 13° (Aries) over my Sun in 12H, I think it would mean an ego death.

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ Noticed also how my sun is alone in the 12H? Yes, def a year of focusing on my spiritual evolution! More alone times.

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ I have Leo Rising this year, and having Leo rising in a SRC means having a glow up. Which is funny to me because I have Pluto over the 6H, which means getting weight! Usually Pluto in the 6H means gaining weight but also working on your health because it can cause some problems. So, I did actually take a bit of weight this year, mostly due to coming home and reuniting with the food of my country lol, but also eating too much chocolate for the end of the year (lol). But I feel this urge to actually do a lot of sport and eating healthy? So the glow up could happen after? lol

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ But in general, I felt more pretty recently , and I got more compliment over my appearance than before (Leo Rising). Leo Rising makes you more popular too.

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ Venus in 1H means I could get a lot of compliments over my appearance, or some people could have a crush on me based on how I look like. I could look better physically, it's also an indicator of a glow up. With the degree (24°= Pisces) I could look more angelic? Or this is the way people will see me. I could become way more romantic this year, and be more expressive with my feelings too. It's also a sign to be more popular!

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ With Mercury in 1H, it will be a year where I talk about myself more, or I will just rely more on my opinion than others. I will stand with my ideas and opinions more, and be more true to myself. This is also an indicator to speak in my own voice, and give advices based on my own experiences.

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ Mars in 2H= more ambition related to money and stability!

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ Vertex in the 5H. I want to see more people adding Vertex in their SRC, it's so important!!! Vertex helps you see the big and the significant changes that will marks you. Vertex in the 5H is a sign or break-up, pregnancy, new love coming. Now, let's not lie, I will not be pregnant this year (NO). But a break-up or a new love, new relationship could happen. And it will be significant since this is vertex!

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ Saturn in my 7H: something serious will happen in my serious relationships this year. Groom conjunct saturn there, and I know who is my FS. So this could be limits with my FS, like hard times in a way. But Saturn also represent seriousness, so this could be the start with something serious with him, or the relationship will feel more long-lasting? Something like that. But limits will def be there.

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ Neptune 8H: S3xual dreams ;-; Could also be having spiritual dreams (also pisces is here too, so it could def happen more)

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ 9H stellium with Moon, Chiron, North Node and Jupiter: There us a huge part of this year that will play around my spiritual side. I will need to reevaluate my spirituality and my beliefs. Things will happen to me this year in order to make me grow spiritually. It can hurt sometimes (ego death with chiron in Aries) but it's part of this year's destiny for sure. North Node is there. I will also want to travel more this year but it will be hard sometimes (chiron), but opportunities to travel will def be more present (Jupiter). The fact that Jupiter is here makes me relief because it means that despite hard times, Jupiter will still bring me luck and good stuff.

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ Uranus in 10H: Big changements career wise!! The kind of changements that will be hard because not everyone will accept it. It's already happening since I'm going to do my own astrology and tarot company this year, and I'm not 100% comfortable to share it with people, I'm scared they will be closed minded, judgmental. Even with my family it was hard, but fortunately, my parents are very supportive of what I do <3 It's also a sign of lifestyle changes! My reputation could change too. Uranus in the 10H is also a sign of freelancing... lol

Uyu's New Year Resolutions

This year, I want to exercise more and lose weight! I want to indeed have a glow up and feel more attractive! I want to focus hard on my business and hope I can live with that one day! I also want to work on my spirituality, I feel that I have reached a point where I have to make some changes. I also want to travel and meet new people, new friends! And I want to make progress with my TF!

Wishing everyone an excellent year!! Happy 2024 ( ๑ ˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و ♡

Thank you for reading!

back to index ; ask ; request ; rules

[archivalofsins]

Oh yeah the funniest shit ever-

Mahiru being entirely disinterested in Shidou-

2023/10/24 Shidou's birthday

Mahiru: Shidou-san, you have a family...right? Having family, having children, how does it feel...?

Shidou: ...Yes, it's a wonderful thing. Children are... Well, they're hope itself. When you have children, growing older becomes enjoyable. The more you age, the more your children grow.

Mahiru: Ah...how wonderful. It was my dream to become a bride. It may be a little old-fashioned but, I wanted to make it come true...

Shidou: It's not too late. I will keep you alive, Shiina-kun. Let's get out of here and make that dream come true. ...You still have your whole life ahead of you.

Meanwhile, with Futa-

2024/01/17, Mahiru's birthday

Futa: ......Hey, Mahiru. Are you...doing alright? Isn't there any way you can get better...?

Mahiru: What's wrong, Futa-kun? Yeah, I'm not feeling great... But Shidou-san has been taking care of me all this time. I'm sure if I keep getting treatment like this, I'll get better...

Futa: I see. Continue the treatment, huh... How can you truly be saved, I wonder?

Mahiru: Saved...?? Are you worried about me? ……That's nice of you, Futa-kun. Just thinking that way... Mahiru feels saved already.

Despite Shidou constantly helping her- She has a more positive response to Futa showing concern for her. When he tries to give encouraging words with an undertone of flirting. Since he said let's get out here and make that dream cone true crickets. Again probably because he's not her type and she's stayed this.

20/06/08

Mahiru: Shidou-san…… you’re really good-looking. Personally, I think you’d be better if you ate a bit more, but you’re slim and tall and well put together to boot…… You must’ve been super popular up until now, right?

Shidou: ……yeah, that’s true…… I did my share of fooling around in the past.

Mahiru: Oh~? That’s not the sort of answer I’d expect from you. I’ve got it! Somebody told you that if you replied like that people wouldn’t resent you so much, right?

Shidou: Haha, I’m surprised you guessed. ……it seems that no matter what guise I put on, it’s meaningless against a woman’s insight.

You know who's good with kids reportedly liked by Amane? Mahiru. You know who is a good communicator and on good terms with most in the prison? Mahiru. You know who was able to guess that what Shidou said was due to advice from his wife that helped him because he's usually careless when it comes to personal matters- Mahiru!

"Let's get out of here and make that dream come true."

Meanwhike despite that clear come on when Futa shows comcern someone whom she complained about as no good for being a bully. Well, she started really giving-

"I’m going to start relying on you if you’re kind to me, so please forgive me, thanks!"

Energy if I'm being honest.

"That's nice of you, Futa-kun. Just thinking that way... Mahiru feels saved already."

Meanwhile, Shidou proposing to start a new family like there's still time. Their are lives that need saving mine. I've accepted I can't bring back the dead but maybe I could just start a new family. Meanwhile, Mahiru is just here like "Sorry, I like reciprocity. I want to receive too. So, no... You're still too thin for me on top of that. Meaning I'm just going to politely ignore your advances." And going I already feel saved just from your concern alone to Futa.

These timelines have so many funny implications.

[the-literal-kj]

CASCADES

Good Omens fanfiction. Complete. 3k words. Rated M. Read it on A03.

Summary: Two angels find excuses to “work” together and end up iterating on Eden. They end up inventing a few things...

Written for @goodomensafterdark and smurfadurf for the 2024 My Smutty Valentine Exchange! Stylings on hair pulling, long hair, soft dom, and wings.

CW: Astrology, hair pulling, outdoor sex, and let’s be honest: a little bratting. :) Crowley says "Gottem" and my beta readers all agreed to keep it in.

Speaking of! Thank you to @ines2925 @springofviolets @finlands-world @azeutreciathewicked & @playdohangel for beta reading! As always, this piece is better for your involvement! <3

Excerpt:

That familiar flash of red hair falling over a shoulder, bright against the backdrop of feathers, brought more comfort to him than the archangels ever had. His consort seemed to always know how to get out of a scrape. “Yes, hello! I was just coming to fetch you.” Aziraphale exhaled slowly, giving the other a look, hoping he would catch on.   “Ah, is it that time already?” The Dominion picked up the hint and ran, flippantly waving a hand and turning on the charm. “Semi-frequent human-astronomy design team sync. You know how it is. Standard consult. Gotta discuss how the stars influence… ah… personalities.”

Read the rest on A03.

💚

And if you're interested in more of "Before the Beginning," I've assembled my angelic one-shots into a series called Ascendant. Check it out here on AO3!

[midnight-moth]

Mushy May 2024

Animals - Copia/Aurora

Ft. Dew, Swiss, Phantom and Mountain

Thank you to @forlorn-crows for organizing Mushy May for the second year in a row!

Divider by @ghuleh-recs

No major CWs - unless you’re afraid of rats

1924 words below the cut (ao3 soon)

The following is based on true events. Though it was only one of my rats that escaped and made her way into the kitchen cupboard. Although my rats are gone, I still have the carrier with the giant hole. Along with the hole in my heart now that they’re all gone. Also this is rambling and boring and sorry. I don’t have the brain power to make it better.

It was with unexpected enthusiasm that Copia had agreed to allow for two of his precious rats to be cared for by the ghouls.

Aurora assumed that when she widened her gait to catch up to Papa as he hastened through the hallways.

“I’m sorry dear, I don’t have much time to confab with you today. The big release and all.”

Aurora swallowed hard, trying to steel her nerves to both ask the question. And to imagine what it’ll be like seeing herself up on a giant screen. She loved to perform, but she wasn’t so sure she liked to watch herself perform.

He was already getting away as she became trapped in that anxious thought for just a few seconds. Running to catch up with him, and maybe a little out of breath, she thought now or never.

“Papa I was just thinking, and only if you think it’s a good idea, and I promise I’ll take such good care of them, and only if you think they would be okay with it, and - and -“

Copia finally slowed down and came to a stop, resting his hands on her shoulders, to reassure her and to maybe get her to slow down so he could make sense of what she was saying.

“Aurora, I’m sure whatever you’re going to ask does not require this much preemptive reassurance. What is it?”

“Well,” she digs her toe into the stone floor and looks up at him, the way her eyes truly sparkle, she must be doing that on purpose.

“I was thinking that while we’re on break, you might consider letting me take care of one of your rats.”

“Oh, dear, you had me so very worried for a moment. I thought you were going to ask me for something truly insane. Like when Delta asked my brother if they could add Egyptian crocodiles to the lake. As much as I’m sure he’d enjoy communing with them, I think we all want to enjoy a summer dip with our limbs intact.”

“So?” Her voice carried the upward inflection of hope, and Copia met her with a crinkly eyed smile.

“Yes, of course.”

She wanted to jump up and down and shake him by his robes but she settled for a light hug.

“I promise I won’t let you down! I’ve been reading all about their care for weeks! I’ll make sure they have a safe exercise area, and plenty of enrichment in their cage, and I’ll make them a healthy snack every single day!”

“I believe you, just coordinate with that sibling who helps me with uh - you know.”

“Your administrative assistant, David, who’s been your assistant for the last 6 years?”

“Ah yes! Tricky, that name. David.”

Aurora just shook her head, “Will do! Thanks Papa!”

Impatient as ever, Aurora charged straight over to Copia’s quarters to gather supplies.

“Yes, he told me you were coming.” His flat affect had nothing to do with his mood, she was told. She assumed that is what happens when you put up with the chaos of a silly satanic pope for 6 years straight.

Aurora gathered the supplies first, David thoughtfully offered her a wagon to drag most of it back, at least the massive cage was on wheels.

She returned a few hours later, after masterfully setting up the cage with hammocks and tunnels and hides, litter boxes, food bowls and water.

She stood back to admire her work as Phantom walked past. “I’m kinda jealous, Rory.”

“You can spend time with the rats too?”

“Nah I mean the cage. I wish I could live in there. Looks so cozy.”

She gave him a playful shove and went to collect the final and most important thing, the rats.

She peered inside the plastic carrier and found two sisters sleeping around each other like a yin yang, one dark grey and the other white with brown spots.

“They are sisters, Madonna and Magdalene.” David need not bother to tell her to take good care of them, she had already assured him that she would about 800 times in between trips back to the ghoul wing.”

She walked slowly, trying not to jostle them while they slept. Beyond ecstatic that she had not one but two to care for.

“They don’t like to live alone. Pack creatures. Like you ghouls.” Aurora quirked her eyebrow at that. Normally the siblings who could be trusted to know still didn’t say it out loud. But then again. David was a strange one.

She then sat patiently on the sofa waiting for them to wake up so she could introduce them to their new home. She made sure to put some of the items in from their last cage so it would smell familiar. Including a half-shredded tissue box that they apparently were quite fond of.

She was beginning to doze off herself when she heard some movement in the carrier on her lap.

She held it up at eye level just in time to see Magdalene, the white and brown rat, stretch out her little front legs and yawn.

“So freaking cute.” She mumbled at her new friends. “I’m going to call you Maggie and Mads for short!”

She carried them over to their new home and unlatched the door to both the cage and the carrier and let them wander in at their own pace.

She decided that she would leave them be for the night to get used to their new surroundings. She found them asleep in their fleece hammock when she brought them their evening snack, snap peas and cucumber and a small piece of banana.

She couldn’t help herself, arranging it on a tiny saucer like dinner at a 5 star restaurant.

“I don’t think that’s going fill you up.”

She spun around and smacked into Swiss, who was looking over her shoulder.

“It’s not for me!”

“I know, doll, just kidding.”

The next day, she decided to check if they were interested in meeting her. Wearing one of Mountain’s stolen hoodies, she held her arm inside the cage. They both sniffed her curiously.

“It’s okay.” She whispered. “We have all the time in the world to become friends.”

But to her surprise, they both climbed up onto her arm and onto her shoulder. Soon she was in a fit of giggles as they tangled themselves up in her hair, and tickled her skin with their whiskers.

It was safe to say from then on, that if Aurora was awake precluding certain activities, she would likely have a pair of rats traveling in the hood of her sweater, up her sleeve, or in the front pouch of her overalls.

It finally came time to clean their cage, so she deposited them back into the plastic carrier they arrived in. She began the tedious process of removing all of the soft fabric items to wash, so she could wipe down the hard surfaces with the enzyme cleaner - which was nowhere to be found.

“I’ll be right back, don’t go anywhere”! They pressed their little noses up to the metal grid of the door as if to say how could we?

She returned some 20 minutes later after being redirected to several different locations until it ended with a supply closet on the opposite side of the grounds.

A logical place she supposed as it was near the exit to the very micro farm that Ivy had insisted upon. She imagined he was out there now, communing with his chickens or milking a goat.

She finally finished scrubbing down the cage and placing all of the toys and hides back inside after what seemed like hours. “Actually broke a sweat doing that. What do you say ladies? Incoerce one of the boys into doing this for me next time?”

She lifted the carrier to release them, but when the pair didn’t come scurrying out she flipped the carrier around to look inside. That's when she noticed the giant hole chewed into the side of the carrier.

“Oh - oh fuck.”

Aurora began looking inside the cage, around the cage, the book shelf, media stand, sofa, and every other nook and crevice in the common room.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

The Abbey was massive, the walls had cracks in them, there were doors they could easily slip under, staircases to hop down. They could be anywhere. It only took a few seconds for panic to dig its claws in and not let go.

And this is how Dew found her, sitting in the middle of the common room floor, couch cushions in disarray, the coffee table emptied, drawers open, pillows tossed everywhere.

“Rory?”

“He’s gonna kill me, Dew!”

“No one is killing anyone. What happened?”

Aurora recounted the events leading up to this moment in rapid fire succession, but Dew understood the most important part. Maggie and Mads were missing.

Dew’s mind was reeling in a similar fashion, the Abbey’s endless rooms, sprawling passageways. Parts deep beneath the ground he’d never been brave enough to venture to.

However, rather than upset Aurora further - if possible - as she was already sobbing on his shoulder - he decided to try and be the calm presence she needed.

“Don’t worry Rory, we’ll find ‘em. You know how smart they are. They’ll probably come right back to their home when they’re ready.”

Aurora garbled something into his shoulder he couldn’t make out, but he was pretty sure she was disagreeing with him.

When Dew finally dislodged the panicked ghoul from around his neck he decided to make use of the group chat that he normally had muted.

Soon enough the rest of them emerged to help look for the missing rodents.

Trouble is they weren’t really sure where they could look that Aurora had not already.

After many hours of searching, and coming up empty handed, they moved back to the common room and sat in collective silence.

Rather than make empty promises, Mountain offered to make Aurora’s favorite cookies. A small concession, but he needed to do something. The anxiety of not being able to fix the problem was beginning to drive him mad.

Aurora nodded weakly, imagining with horror the look of disappointment, or quite possibly anger Copia would have when she told him.

The room was silent save the sound of cupboards opening and ingredients being laid out on the counter.

Suddenly Mountain yelped, causing each last one of them to jump out of their seats.

They all gathered in the doorway, they were already on edge and him sounding the alarm bells did nothing to soothe their collective frayed nerves.

“Mount, what is it?”

Standing there with the pantry door open, a bag of oats in his hands.

“I found your friends Aurora.”

He handed her the bag, two sets of beady eyes peered back up at her as they stuffed their faces with rolled out flakes.

“You little fuckers! I can’t even be mad, cause you’re so cute!” Aurora carried the bag back to their cage and deposited them along with a small pile of oats.

“Shouldn’t be getting treats, you were bad ratties!” Aurora wagged her finger at them but they paid no mind, digging into the pile of flakes.

Mountain looked between the rats in the cage enjoying their spoils, and the big bag of oats with a hole chewed in the side.

“Well, I can’t make your favorite anymore. Would you settle for regular chocolate chip cookies? Minus the oats?”

“Deal.” The usual cheer returned to Aurora’s voice. “I’ll help.”

[thecurrentevents]

Russia and China vetoed a resolution for a ceasefire proposed by the United States

…I don’t even know how to feel about this anymore. ah, well. thecurrentevents, at your service.

on March 22, 2024, a United States-proposed resolution to a ceasefire in the Israel-Hamas conflict failed in the United Nations Security Council. Russia and China, two out of five countries with absolute veto power, vetoed the resolution.

this is the first time there United States is backing a resolution with mentions of a “ceasefire” in it, showing the US’ toughened stance on Israel’s genocide in Gaza. but don’t let this fool you — Biden is losing votes among pro-Palestinian voters, and he’s doing everything he can to get these votes on his side. the GOP isn’t much better though.

according to the United States’ ambassador, this veto was probably a combination of reasons — they don’t like the United States (obvious), and they refuse to condemn Hamas for their actions.

according to the Russian ambassador, the resolution was written with the United States’ political agenda in mind, and the resolution did not go far enough to promise peace for the Palestinians.

according to the Chinese ambassador, the resolution does not clearly condemn Israel’s military campaign in Rafah that can lead to “severe consequences” (Russia, China veto).

considering how the United States vetoed three ceasefire resolutions before, stating it’ll disrupt hostage negotiations and Israel’s “self-defense” against Hamas, political agenda is likely in the resolution. this also shows that US-Russia/China relations are at an all time low. it’s a bad political era to be alive, I guess?

still. I hope a ceasefire attempt goes through soon. whenever that is.

sources underneath the cut:

US call for Gaza ceasefire runs into Russia-China veto at UN - New York Times

Russia, China veto US-led UN resolution on Gaza ceasefire - Reuters

[aszles]

csm chapter 120 but in toki pona (first 10 pages)

alright hellooo!!!! this is my first published translation in 2024 i guess!

of course i'm marketing this towards english speakers since i'm not sure if there actually is a part of the csm fandom that speaks toki pona... i hope you'll stick around to see something a little fun and different!

so if you don't know what toki pona is, allow me to explain! ☝️🤓 toki pona is a conlang created by Sonja Lang where the main draw of it is that it has less than 200 words! it sounds like it may be tricky to speak with so few words, but it's surprisingly easy and very fun! i always recommend it to anyone who has a bit of time on their hands and wants to try something new.

here i was mostly trying out gimp for comic translations, and so i translated the first 10 pages of chapter 120! i chose this because... it's silly! also fun fact, the start of this chapter was one of the things that pushed me to read chainsaw man!

ok that's enough preface rambling, let's get on with it!

i think typically the first page should be full sized if it has to, but nayuta peace sign is just so cute..!

alright, if you wanna feel like you're on a date with asa then keep reading to find an english translation and translator's notes! if not... feel free to leave, i hope you eat something nice today! (omekapo!)

semi-literal translation:

yoru: woof! woof! woof!!

nayuta: HAHAHAHAHAHA!! yoru: woof woof! wooof!! denji: Nayuta! what did you do?! nayuta: i turned her into an animal. denji: why?!?! nayuta: because she [kissed] my thing! (here she basically says that yoru interacted with nayuta's thing using her mouth. it's a very vague statement)

denji: i'm not your thing! turn her into a human now!! nayuta: want food! can't! (technically she says "food desire! no ability!") nuh uh! denji: ah?! i'll make food. when you eat turn her into a human!! nayuta: 'kay!

denji: eat and turn her into a human. i'm not joking. nayuta: hey! this is my food! bad! bad!! nayuta: hey... do you really want her humanity? (sounds very weird in english but i'm not sure a better way to put it) denji: what?

nayuta: Denji. every woman tries to kill you, right? why is this animal different? denji: why...? i have a feeling. nayuta: hmmmm.... good. (this is being used as an affirmation similar to "alright" or "very well then") you won't die. okay. i'll turn her into a human.

nayuta: but, two things. if they're not good to you, then she'll be an animal forever. denji: what are they?! nayuta: number one. i can eat ice cream (cold sweet) all the time. denji: i want (it) too. nayuta: number two.

nayuta: don't be nice to her. denji: are you joking?! nayuta: uh, i'm (being) real. this is the best. she's bad to my nose. denji: your nose?

denji: is she like a wet animal? nayuta: weirdo, wet animals are good! anyways, don't be nice to her! i'll change her knowledge... so that to her you didn't come (today)! denji: you'll what?! then she'll hate me!

nayuta: not important. you won't talk to her. denji: ahhh...

denji: you're number one, nayuta...

tadaaaa! there we have it! now time for some translator notes, of which there are actually not a ton.

toki pona is surprisingly difficult to adapt for different kinds of characters. due to having no register, it's hard to make characters seem more punky or polite than normal, and to distinguish between adult and child characters. here particularly we have the issue that, while Nayuta is a child, she's also super smart! so making grammatical mistakes doesn't really seem in line for her character. the main action i took was doubling up "la" with her. this isn't incorrect, but there are more optimal ways to say things to avoid ambiguity. i thought that perhaps a kid wouldn't think ahead with their words as much as an adult would, and may end up with this quirk in their speech.

related to the last note, one possible way of making a character seem younger or less proper is having them use nimisin ("unofficial" community made words). it's a fun idea, but it's kinda inaccessible and also... i don't really know nimisin! guess i'm not hip enough >_<

the name Nayuta luckily fits with toki pona phonetics (with the y changed to a j)! Denji doesn't quite, so i opted for Tensi. this is the most direct tokiponisation of his name. it sounds a bit like tenshi! (angel in japanese)

just a little something. i went with humans being "jan" and devils "monsuta" (hybrids and fiends may be jan monsuta and monsuta jan respectively, or they could have nimisin) so.. why are these two using jan? well for Denji that's an easier question, as he is basically human-first and also had the name before he became a hybrid. (also there's no need to be so descriptive with a headnoun) as for Nayuta, she uses jan because she's sort of undercover. depending on the circumstances, or when referring to her with her real name (like saying Control Devil in english) she would be monsuta. some devils who gave themself a name use jan, while others such as Power use monsuta (because why would she call herself a human when devils are clearly superior?!)

suwi lete or lete suwi? that is the question. here i decided to go with suwi lete because i think the most appealing aspect to Nayuta is likely the sweetness!

i hope this was at least somewhat enjoyable! i wonder what i'll find to translate next >w> thank you so much for reading if you did! sina lukin la mi pilin pona a!

[mysteryshoptls]

2023-2024 Player Birthday Login Message Lines

These are all the messages that you get from the boys when you log in on the birthday that you set in-game from 18 Mar 2023 to 17 Mar 2024! For those that want to hear them, you can find them in the Archive, under the tab その他　→　監督生バースデー③. (This will not be in your game archives until the birthday you set passes.)

You can find the 2021-2022 Birthday Login Message Lines here! You can find the 2022-2023 Birthday Login Message Lines here!

HEARTSLABYUL

Riddle

Happy Birthday, [Yuu]. I have arranged for there to be a birthday party in your honor after classes finish for the day. Be sure to finish all your homework before it begins. Of course, that includes your going over what was taught in class. ...You cannot finish in time? I suppose it cannot be helped. I'll help you with whatever you don't understand. However, just know that my instruction is quite strict.

Ace

Hey, [Yuu], Happy Birthday! Must be nice, being the center of attention today. Wanna trade places with me? I'm kidding, c'mon. Like, yeah, I love it when everyone fawns over me on my own birthday, but I'm not against celebrating others either. Guess I should go all out once in a while. You better be ready for it!

Deuce

Today is your birthday, right? Happy Birthday. Here's a face towel as your present. Hm? ...Oh, you don't need to hesitate or nothing. Isn't it normal to want to celebrate your bud's birthday? And 'sides... it's just between you and me. I'm happy for you to take it!

Cater

Happy Birthday, [Yuu]-chan! It's time for your birthday party, huh. Once we get to the venue, let's snap a pic with everyone! We gotta take tons that looks super lively and worth a memory! Ah, and obvi I gotta get me a pic with the two of us! I def don't wanna miss out on grabbing that selfie with the star of the day ♪

Trey

Happy Birthday, [Yuu]. I decided to get you a ball-point pen and a notebook for your birthday. I even looked into a few of the more popular brands, but none of them really called out to me. Sorry it's not anything cool. But I did my best to pick something out for you. I hope you can use it for your studies.

SAVANACLAW

Leona

Yo, [Yuu]. Today's your birthday, right? Good for you. Huh? A present? Yeah, I don't have anything like that for you, why would I? Just be satisfied that I even said anything. I came all this way just to wish you a happy birthday. That should be enough to get your tail wagging, all happy, don'tcha think?

Jack

Oh, I found you. I was looking for you, [Yuu]. Ah, I mean, it's not like it's something super important or anything... But, it's your birthday today, right? Happy Birthday. Here, this is your present, some running shoes. What? You wanna know if that's why I was searching for you? Wh-Why does that matter...? Uh, bye!

Ruggie

[Yuu]-kun, it's your birthday today, right? Shishishi, Happy Birthday! Felicitations and whatnot! You look so much more glam today than you usually do. You've definitely grown. I hardly recognize you～ Amazing! Just the best! Eh? You want more than just words? Well, I can give you a gift, I guess, but... You better give me at least 10 times the amount back～

OCTAVINELLE

Azul

Happy Birthday. Your gift is this board game here. How about a game? If you were to win, I will gift you one more object. Books, clothes, whatever you wish. If you lose... Fufufu, I wonder what I should have you do for me. Think of this thrilling little competition as part of your present as well.

Jade

[Yuu]-san, Happy Birthday. I have prepared a tea press as your present. Do you know how to use it? First, pour boiling water to warm it up, then add the tea leaves and steep. Then pour it from about this high... Perhaps it would be better if I showed it to you. Allow me to prepare you a cup of tea after this.

Floyd

Today's your birthday, right, Koebi-chan? Happy Birthday～ Here ya go, here's your present. What's inside? Well, if I told you, that'd be no fun. 'Sides, you'd be happy with whatever I gave you, right? Lucky you, Koebi-chan. Ahahah!

SCARABIA

Kalim

[Yuu]! Happy Birthday! I'm gonna throw a huge party for you today. I'm getting the venue ready right now, so just wait a bit, okay? But, I guess it'd be kind of boring just waiting around doing nothing. Oh yeah! How about we go for a magic carpet ride? Let's go soaring through the skies together before the party starts!

Jamil

So, today's your birthday. Happy Birthday. Here's a cutlery set as your gift. There's one for cutting meat, fish, and even dessert... There may be many different types, but it might not be bad to learn how to use them all. I'll give you a quick lesson on them later at the party. It'll probably be easier to learn while eating.

POMEFIORE

Vil

[Yuu], Happy Birthday. I've prepared a gift that you could only receive from me. I'll use this carefully selected item and give you a proper lecture on make-up. I wonder just how much of a transformation we'll see. ...Even though this may be your present, I am starting to get excited as well.

Epel

[Yuu]-san, Happy Birthday! I got a super special gift for you. Here ya go, a jacket that's got a rising golden dragon embroidered on it! The inner lining's got a tiger on it! Isn't it cool? U-Uh. Oh, maybe it's not to your liking...? Don't worry about it, I bet it'll totally look rad on you!

Rook

Greetings, Trickster! Happy Birthday! Fufu, as you can see, I was lying in wait for you. I knew that you would be alone at this time, at this very place. How...? Fufu, let's just say it was instinct. Now, please accept my birthday greetings!

IGNIHYDE

Idia

...H-Happy Birthday...　I-I tried to follow in the footsteps of them normies and got you a present IRL... It-It's all the volumes of my number one favorite manga and light novel set. Fuheehee. Spreading the word and bringing in new fans is the best way for those of us in the fandom to thrive! Check it― ......Uh, yeah, if you, uh, get time, please take a look...

Ortho

Based on my data, today's your birthday, right? Happy Birthday, [Yuu]-san! Ah, there's been a change in your vital signs. Your pulse rate and body temperature just increased. Ehe, were you happy that I'm here to celebrate you? It makes me feel so great to see you so happy. Birthday are really nice, aren't they?

DIASOMNIA

Malleus

[Yuu], Happy Birthday. As your gift, I shall play you something on the violin. Which song would you care for? Oh, you would allow me to pick? Hm, which one should it be... If I were to select something that would be adequate for your birthday... I suppose a cheerful song may be in order. It isn't a genre I play often, but I will take this opportunity to give it a try.

Silver

So, today is your Birthday. Of course, I will be attending your birthday party. To make certain I will not fall asleep during the party, I went to sleep early last night. I also took a nap this afternoon, and I've prepared ice to help me stay awake. However, just in case, allow me to say the most important thing up first. [Yuu], Happy Birthday.

Sebek

Hey, human! ...I'm talking to you, [Yuu]! I will give you the honor of my birthday wishes. Your present is a book. Only, I realized that I did not know your favorite genre. So we will go now to select it together. Tell me what kind of books that you ordinarily read.

Lilia

[Yuu], Happy Birthday. We have your party coming up after this, huh. The feast has been well prepared. Of course I didn't hold anything back. I put all of my efforts into making everything. Kufufu, you better be looking forward to it!

OTHERS

Crowley

Ta-daaa! What do you suppose this could be? That's correct, it's an exchange coupon for use at the Mystery Shop! You have been a consistent helping hand, so... This is a special gift for you. Happy Birthday. Incidentally, that is only worth 500 madol (5 Thaumarks). It cannot be exchanged for something pricier than that. Please don't hold it against me.

Grim

[Yuu]! Happy Birthday! I'll let you have me celebrate it together with you! We gotta chow down on all the tasty stuff! Then we'll sing, and dance, and play games... Nyahahaha! This is gonna be the best day ever! Let's hurry and get to the party venue already!

Rollo

Whatever is the matter, [Yuu]-kun? There is a strange glimmer in your eyes... Ah, I see. Today is your birthday. A present? Hmph. I hardly think that it should be something you request of others... But no matter. Indeed, birthdays should be treasured. However, what would be an acceptable gift...? I am afraid I'm rather unaccustomed to this. I would hope I do not disappoint you with a poor gift choice.

Requested by Anonymous.

[moonlit-positivity]

Preparing for a Crisis Situation

[Disclaimer: I am not a therapist. I am just some rando on the internet with way too much time on her hands (😭). Contrary to what I've written, the advice in this post is not a substitute for real crisis support. If you are feeling actively suicidal and unsafe, please contact your local crisis unit and take your health & safety seriously.]

This is going to be a long post. Heads up for that.

So you're having a real bad panic attack & contemplating suicide. Your body is activated, your head is spinning, you're gonna reach for the knife. What can you do to make it better? Let's talk options outside of crisis support.

But first, let's talk about why there is a need to address options outside of crisis support in the first place, and why I feel the need to write something like this to begin with. Because yeah, ultimately, this is such a tricky topic to talk about and it's not something to be fooled around with. But for some of us who are actively fighting these types of thoughts on a daily basis, I hope this post can give you a sense of how to imitate a safety zone for when it goes from bad to worse and you feel like there's no one to call.

Suicide awareness is the issue of how to cope with stress. How to cope with the panic and anxiety and hopelessness of when it gets too big to handle by yourself.

The issue with crisis support, is that there is such a huge problem around institutionalization that forces people into a situation with unsafe mental health professionals and abusive staff. And it's incredibly dehumanizing to be forced into the equivalent of an adult time out in a facility that may or may not treat you like you're an actual human being in a safe, clean, and humane facility.

Lets not pretend that people arent still being forced into hospitalization as a form of control and punishment and abuse and subjected to abuse and unsanitary conditions. It still happens. Yes. Even in 2024, this is still an every day occurrence.

So when the panic hits, let's talk about what you can do to plan & prepare for a real crisis situation.

Preparing for Crisis: Safety Plan

Ah yes, the grippy sock vacation ole' reliable. The safety plan.

It may feel dumb & stupid to fill this out, but the purpose is to become aware of what triggers your panic and anxiety, and also what helps vs what makes it worse. That way you can counteract it with your favorite soothing methods. This helps so you can also gauge it on a scale of "yeah I can coast this out by myself" vs "nah fam I need help".

Here is an example of mine:

I feel unsafe when: My alters are too loud, I'm being talked over, not being listened to, the neighbor is outside yelling, I'm having flashbacks, anxiety, triggered, being looked at by others, breathing too hard, breathing too fast, body feels heavy, body feels frozen, can't move, can't breathe, crying a lot, body convulsing, racing thoughts, paranoid thoughts, fearful, heart beating too fast, etc

My triggers are: talking too loud, talking too soft, talking at all (I am nonverbal sometimes), flashbacks, anxiety, yelling, emotional abuse, personal space, privacy, being told what to do, loud noises, can't control my environment, being looked at

What would help: space to be alone, throwing a tantrum, coloring, ripping up a cardboard box, puzzles, activities, video games, teddy bears, comfort items, talking w my therapist, looking out a window, daydreaming, singing, humming, music, warm blanket, juice box, snacks

What would not help: looking at me, direct eye contact, yelling, screaming, accusatory language, demeaning me, being mean to me, hurting me, physical touch, comfort

Who can I call: my therapist, my cat, my teddy bear, my case manager, my neighbors, warm line, etc. Talk to your favorite fictional characters. They are there for you.

Where can I go: outside, the park, local burger joint, my kitchen, the bathroom, the spare bedroom, etc.

Preparing for Crisis: Remove The Weapons

Quarantine any and all unsafe items. Knives, guns, medicines, needles, extension cords, etc. Throw them out, lock them up, or give them to someone safe to hold onto. Remove them from the house entirely.

We can go deeper with this. Kitchen knives got you feeling stabby? Replace them with plastic kitchenware. Razor blades & meds? Disposable razors & medisets.

Spend some time considering what changes you can make around the house. Make your home feel safe.

Warning Signs: Change Your Environment

The quickest way to ground and self soothe is to make an immediate change in your environment. If the room is dark, turn on the lights. Open the windows. Open the doors. Step outside. Step into a different room. If there's no sound, turn on the TV. Put on a podcast. YouTube white noise and soundscapes.

This can work in other ways too. Grab the headphones. Grab a peppermint or a lemon drop or something spicy/sour. Grab something to drink. Grab a stim. Slime, play doh, something with texture, something you can fidget.

Take some time to think about what you'd like to use. You can put together a lil box full of trinkets and odds and ends for quick access. Control your environment to simulate what you'd imagine your ideal safe space to look like.

Warning Signs: Reconnect with Reality

Stand outside. Seriously, just do it. It helps. Open a window. Get some fresh air. Just do it. 5 minutes. Just 5 minutes.

Take deep breaths and ground yourself. Focus on something around you. Anything. What is it? What color is it? How big or small is it? Can you touch it? Is it cold? Is it warm? Can you squeeze it?

Warning Signs: Disconnect From The Stress

Put the phone down and get into an activity. Play a video game. Make some art. Draw your feelings. Color. Crochet. Anything hands on. Step away from the situation and do something relaxing or fun or otherwise stimulating for ur hands and brain to focus on.

This sucks. Yeah. But you're gonna make it worse by continually interacting and engaging with whatever it is that's stressing you out so big and hard that you're spiraling.

Even just 5 minutes will help. But it's a good idea to try for longer. Do you ever really consider how much stress you take in from other people's bullshit on the internet? Think about it.

Crisis Mode: Shut Down & Nest

One way to coast through a massive panic attack is to bunker down somewhere safe and sweat it out. So make a nesting space for you to crawl to while your body cries it out.

This can look like crawling in bed with the lights ON so you can still see and ground yourself through it, or laying on the couch with the lights ON and other comforts around.

Nesting is also good for recovery as a whole. Nesting can give us that sense of safety, that sense of comfort we're missing out on. It's a good idea to consider what areas of your home feel safest for you, and how you can make a lil nesting hole for you to run to. Make it safe, make it private, make it all your own.

Crisis Mode: Human Interaction

It's important to know when you can't coast it out on your own. Seek a human interaction. Any human will do. Neighbors, friends, family, warm lines, support groups, etc. Call someone. Inbox someone. Talk it out. Take a walk. Look at humans. Be human and be around humans.

If none of those apply, here's a really niche thing to try: Podcasts, let's plays, and YouTube videos are seriously goated for the friendly and warm atmosphere of having a conversation with someone.

But please remember if that is not enough then you should really consider reaching out to someone who knows you exist.

Crisis Mode: Where To Find Support

National suicide hotline: call or text 988

Reddit: r/adultsurvivors, r/C-PTSD, r/traumatoolbox

Discord: Trauma Survivors

NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness)

Aftermath: Self Care

Look, nobody likes this okay and that's fine. Shower, or take a sink wash up. Baby wipes. No clean clothes? Go naked. There are no rules. You deserve to feel human again.

Do one good soul cleansing thing for yourself. This can be anything. Even just saying it out loud, "damn that was rough. I'm glad I made it." Self care is a mindset. It doesn't have to be big. Take some care for your self, however you need it.

Aftermath: Emotional Regulation

Take a deep breath. Soothe your nervous system. Roll your shoulders, wiggle your body, and breathe. Yes, there is actual science behind this shit. I have a longer & more in depth post about it here.

Final thoughts

Please remember that none of this is actually acredited or liscenced or anything at all. These are just things I've personally gone through that have helped me coast out massive panic attacks that had me spiraling into unsafe territory.

Hope this helps 🌸