#all things brown

[emperor-neo]

I sometimes wonder if Two-Face ever drops his coins when flipping it, sure he isn’t infallible especially with a effed up left side face. I bet when it does the batfamily helps him and treats him with patience after all that’s their father’s former bestfriend

Two-Face: Nightwing, your fate shall be decided by my coi— ah shit I dropped it.

Red Hood: for fucks sake, get on with it already!

Tied up Nightwing: …

Robin: it rolled over there *points at the couch*

Two-Face: *bending down and struggling to reach underneath the couch*

Red Robin: here let me help you harvey

Robin: here I found it *gives a cent*

Two-Face: No! That’s just a regular cent mine was customized I had to pay hundreds of dollars for it to have skulls and—

Red Robin: wait is it one of those coins from youtube that has like cool art that has secrets you can do like press small buttons and open up a compartment?

Spoiler: that’s awesome, does yours do that? then I’ll help look for it

Two-Face: No—

Red Hood: you got scammed dude

[ditzybat]

tim drake is the type of guy to drop random lore then walk away.

tim: ugh i hate baseball, it’s like, when you have to play it in order to save a whole planet once, every game after seem boring

dick: that’s not…

tim: only downside to that was how we almost totaled barts brand new spaceship

dick: what spaceship??

—

tim: oh, hi mom

shiva: hello timothy, how are you? still keeping up with your training i take it?

bruce: mother? she’s not your —

shiva: let’s spar then timothy, let’s leave it strictly non lasting injuries, i don’t rather feel like dying by your hand again today

tim: of course!! ^-^

bruce: again?

—

tim: man i forgot to take my meds again

duke: your meds for what?

tim: i have no spleen, so i have to take probiotics, it really is manageable but i dont know where those pills went

duke: i’m almost scared to ask, tim, how did you lose your spleen?

tim: weird spider dude, it was a whole thing

—

tim: you talk a lot of shit for someone who got replaced as heir to your immortal grandfathers empire by me

damian: you what!?

tim: i regularly beat his ass at online chess every week too, and i don’t think you’ve seen him since he stole your corpse

—

tim: here

jason: what’s this?

tim: a box of all the photos i took when i obsessively stalked you for your entire tenure as robin

jason: thanks?

tim: you’re welcome, bye!

jason: … creepy ass kid…

—

steph: so how did you to get together?

bernard: well —

tim: i saved him from a getting cut open by chaos monster cult members

bernard: yep, i was rescued from being a vessel for a greek god, and we just really clicked afterwards

steph: well, it’s better than the brick

[lildoodlenoodle]

Have we talked about the Miguel Burger yet?

I just wanna know if it was his idea, if he authorized it, or do the other spiders just think it’s rlly fucking funny and do it to annoy the guy?

I need to know WHY

[violent138]

Duke: "Bad news guys, he managed to give me the slip."

Tim: "How? Okay, who's got eyes on him?"

Damian: "He's just... gone."

Tim: "Hood?"

Jason, eating takeout: "Stop hacking my comms for this, I'm not even there!" *leaves the channel*

Steph: "Negative from me, I've been tailing some whole other guy."

Tim: "Nightwing?"

Dick, in a whole other city, on the computer, barely listening: "I already told Alfred I left the keys in the--"

Tim: "Thanks anyways. Orphan?"

Cass:

Tim: "Well shit. Everyone, we need to find him now."

Kate, spotting Bruce holding someone's black-haired baby at the Gala and immediately taking the baby from him: "No."

Kate, pressing a hand to her earpiece: "I got him just in time. Don't give me those puppy dog eyes Bruce, you can't even keep all your kids' names straight anymore."

Tim: "Phew, crisis averted everyone, good work. But remain vigilant."

Jason: "Tim, I swear to God--"

[neptunezo]

The idea of the batkids scaring Bruce with “a new grandchild” to only show an animal is so funny to me, because imagine Bruce is so used to it that when Jason wants to introduce him to his new grandchild Bruce almost falls out of his chair when there’s an ACTUAL KID!

Dick: You’re a granddaddy now Brucie!!!

Bruce: WHAT?!? Who?? When??? How??? Actually don’t tell me how. Who is she??? When did she give birth???

Dick: What? No, meet my kid *holds up a cat* her name is biscuit and shes the love of my life!

—

Steph: Cass and I are adopting…

Bruce: Holy shit, actually???

Cass: Yes, it was a tough choice, but we want to adopt

Bruce: Do you need any help with paperwork and stuff? It’s kinda my thing. Also consider the fact that you might be too young.

Steph: Too young…?

Bruce: Yes, I mean you’re only in your 20’s, are you sure you can handle a kid?

Cass: Too young for an iguana?

—

Damian: It happened again, I have a kid.

Bruce: What do you mean AGAIN?!?

Damian: This is my second kid, duh

Bruce: Are you talking about goats?

Damian: Of course I am father

—

Tim: BRUCE YOU’RE GOING TO BE A GRANDFATHER!!!

Bruce: Tim I didn’t think I was going to have to tell you this again after the whole thing with Stephanie, but just kissing someone doesn’t get them pregnant

Tim:

Bruce: Is it a dog?

Tim: No it’s a tiger

—

Jason: I have something to tell you

Bruce(not looking up from his paperwork): Okay, what’s up?

Jason: I have a kid, I want you to meet your granddaughter

Bruce: I can’t possibly imagine what type of animal you’ve gotten, but I’d love to meet her

Jason: What the hell are you talking about?

Bruce (looking up to see an actual child): You actually have a kid????

Jason: Yeah, Roy and I thought it was time I adopted Lian

Lian: Hi Grandpa!!!

Bruce: I’m going to faint, grab me some ice will you?

[mocking-the-bird]

If Tim and Steph decide that 7am is time for sibling bonding activities, it'll be so, even if the sibling they're bonding with is trying to get some goddamn sleep

[puppetmaster13u]

Hear me out: Demon Batfam but Bruce gets them as babies because people won't stop trying to sacrifice their children and he is So Tired

And it is semi-early Batman Bruce too.

[rang-lo]

Ranglo! Jaamyo kalindiri ne ghaat

Joghada Tara!

Ore jogida Tara!

Rangde ne jove raari vaat ranglo

oooh i just googled and found out this is a garba song. i've never heard of it till now, it sounds beautiful!!

(anon i'm assuming you sent me this because of my handle but it's actually based on a different song by shankar tucker and vidya vox hehe. thank you for sharing regardless! i'm gonna try to find a version of this garba song on spotify)

[tubbytarchia]

got an urge to design ponies oops

[hinamie]

quick lmhs itafushi because god help me i have Not been able to get the concept of yuuji smiling/laughing into kisses out of my head

jjk atla!au with @philosophiums

[muirann]

all comic fans know how to do is: develop superiority complexes based on their personal perceptions of a character, eat hot chip, and lie

[daydreamerwonderkid]

I'm in a constant state of switching back and forth from "wanting the Batkids to get along and bond over their shared experiences/traumas" to "parking my ratty lawn chair in front of Wayne Manor with an iced tea and shades so I can have a front row seat to the literal warzone that no amount of professional or divine intervention could ever hope to bring to an end, not in this lifetime or the next."

[batobbsession]

Now lets remember that Tim has three different blond friends-Steph,Cassie and Cissie. Two of them have super similar names too.

Bruce can not tell them apart at first. He assumes they're all the same person and doesn't even give it a second thought. They're all a little confused why he keeps telling them things they know nothing about but they aren't about to argue with batman.

Then one day Tim calls over all his friends only for Bruce to have the realization that there was 3 different people all along. Bonus points if Greta's there since she's also technically blond.

Not to mention that Cassie and Greta have powers and Cissie and Stephanie don't. Bruce isn't even sure if this friend is a meta for all this time.

[fanaticalthings]

ANIMATED STEPHANIE BROWN MY BELOVED ❤️

[phoenixcatch7]

I get that calling white lotus lbh a sticky little 'sheep' is a canon translation and stuck in the fandom now anyway, but I do feel the intended spirit of the original word wasn't the sheeple/dumb herd animal that's more common in the western world, but instead something actually conveying sweetness, innocence, purity and youth - lamb.

Famous for being utterly adorable and following around their mothers, gambolling in sunny meadows, curly white wool shining.

And NOW we can talk about black sheep/wolf in sheep's clothing metaphors.

[feyburner]

🥹 maybe some Steph and Timmmy next? Steph giving Tim a piggy back ride for example?

Stephanie “He said he wanted to come along, it’s not MY job to say no” Brown