#and why they're salty too

[nyaskitten]

Shoutout to the Hagemans for being head writers on two different action CGI franchises and giving them MASSIVE sexism problems, and ending a hot mess installment with "and everything went back to before but a bit different"! :D

[waywardsalt]

my grievances with botw

Breath of the Wild is... undeniably a fantastic game, but it is very genuinely not the kind of game I like, and since I started playing it I’ve been enjoying it less and less so... I have a pair of problems with it that I’d figure I’d go into, as well as some stuff that, while weak in botw, were executed better in past loz games.

(small shoutout to @zeldanamikaze for encouraging this and having some points that i agree with and had some examples that i hadn’t thought about much initially)

Again, Breath of the Wild is an objectively impressive game, and I’m not trying to sit here and convince you that it’s a bad game. I’m just trying to point out things that detracted from my enjoyment of it, especially compared to my enjoyment of other Zelda games.

Before I get into the big stuff, I’ll just shoot off some quick little things that I think could’ve been improved:

- The dungeons generally felt like glorified shrines, and while they had cool mechanics and ways to access them, they were short and more or less pretty simple and all have similar visual and musical identities.

- Side quests and their rewards didn’t feel worth doing half of the time. I barely remember any notable ones off the top of my head and the longer ones just gave mostly generic rewards, which I suppose makes sense considering the limited amount of truly unique items in botw.

- Seeing the same enemies over and over again made the combat feel more like a chore than something to really engage with, not to mention that there is hardly any difficulty scaling beyond just making the enemies more durable.

- The story is fine, but in my experience, even seeing people go into more detail about the meanings of events, I never really cared for the events or the characters presented, since you don’t actually have to directly interact with any of that to play the game. Hell, you don’t even need to interact with the story at all to beat it, so the focus certainly doesn’t feel like it’s on the story.

- It would be a lie to call the soundtrack bad, but it’s sparse usage makes it hard to truly appreciate and the fact that most of it is meant to be more atmospheric generally makes them a bit less interesting to listen to on their own, though I will admit there are some fantastic tracks in botw, usually being some of the boss themes.

- While the Sheikah slate runes are cool, they feel very bland after a while, especially compared to the varied items seen in previous games. They’re good tools for an open world, but not much fun otherwise (the bombs were good though, since they had a variety of uses).

And that’s the quick stuff- again, mostly courtesy of @zeldanamikaze, since these are the examples I’ve seen her mention.

I have two big points that kind of encapsulate why I dislike this game and still adore the older games, that being: the minigames and the items and their relationships to dungeons.

Breath of the Wild is a very different game than what came past it, and I am very aware that it is a vast departure from those other games for a reason. However, this leads me to view it not only simply as a game not up my alley, but also as kind of inferior in some aspect to those previous Zelda games. Breath of the World is first and foremost an open world game, seemingly putting a focus on gameplay enjoyment above all else (not to imply that the ‘else’ is bad because of this, but I do think that the ‘else’ suffers in comparison to other Zelda titles.)

It may also be worth mentioning that the other Zelda games I have played is the following: LoZ NES, Link’s Awakening (Original and Remake), Ocarina of Time, Majora’s Mask, Phantom Hourlgass, Skyward Sword, A Link Between Worlds, and Triforce Heroes. I have also played both hyrule warriors games as well as loz 2, wind waker, and minish cap, none of the latter 3 i have finished or currently have access to.

1: The Minigames

Minigames are common in Zelda games, so of course botw has a few scattered around it’s world. Botw’s minigames are very different than the minigames seen in past Zelda games, mostly due in part to the limited array of items and unique gameplay gimmicks available in botw. Botw’s minigames usually focus on different forms of archery, gliding, or rune usage: all things integral to normal gameplay. At best you get rupees or cosmetic items from most minigames.

Botw’s minigames are just slightly altered situations of normal gameplay. The bowling is just using stasis except this time the game has a special little arena for it. Pretty much all of the archery games are either just counting how many deer you can kill or if you can just hit some targets on horseback. There’s one race I can think of and one gliding activity I can think of.

This makes sense, considering that there are a handful of other non-minigame activities to engage in, but these minigames feel... hollow. None of the minigames feature gameplay exclusive to those minigames or feature gameplay only used in certain parts of the game. They all make use of readily available mechanics in botw, so they’re like tests of skill- but otherwise not really any worth giving a second-thought unless you want to see how good of a glider or archer you are or grab some extra rupees.

But they aren’t very... worth it or generally fun within the context of botw. It’s just another way to do something that is available to you pretty much all game. They don’t feel unique, they just feel like a task.

Previous Zelda games (obviously) have archery minigames and allow you to use archery when you get the bow and from that point onward. And yet the archery minigames are made unique from the rest of the archery in the game; ocarina of time’s archery minigame is simply just shooting at targets, but the possible rewards and the simple fact that not often are you going to be continuously shooting arrows at enemies make it a bit of a novel experience within oot. The minigames in past zelda games take advantage of the items and area-specific mechanics: they usually include item-exclusive mechanics like bombchu games, or take advantage of more specific mechanics, like the minecarts in skyward sword, the masks in majora’s mask, or being able to control gongoron in phantom hourglass.

They also gave genuine rewards- empty bottles, quest items, ship parts, new masks, heart containers or pieces, kinds of stuff that are hard to get and very valuable. They’re worth doing for reasons outside of just a little activity. The minigames in other Zelda games do really enhance the experience by taking advantage of situational mechanics or giving a unique usage for some items.

You can probably get every item in botw without playing all of the minigames. They have little actual purpose. But in other zelda games, they have a purpose in the greater game and provide novel experiences within the game.

2: Items and their relationships with the dungeons

Obviously, compared to past games, botw’s ‘dungeons’ kind of sucked. They’re fine in a vacuum, with interesting gimmicks and the like, but they’re really little more than glorified shrines with four different-but-similar bosses at the end.

In my opinion, one of reasons why the divine beasts just... fell flat compared to other zelda dungeons is the lack of unique items in general. The runes in botw are cool and useful but you get them at the start of the game and never get anything new. You are give every tool you need to beat all of the dungeons the moment you finish the tutorial.

Older zelda games’ dungeons being tied to their respective items is a big part- to me- of what makes those dungeons so good.

Obviously, the theming, musical themes, and larger layouts and more varied puzzles make them objectively better experiences, but the way they interact with item acquisition makes the whole thing even better. 

Even in a link between worlds, where you can get every item whenever you want from Ravio, each dungeon is still tied to one of those items, and one of those items is needed to successfully complete that dungeon.

The dungeons in past Zelda games are practically complex tutorials on how you can use your new items. They are where those items shine and they are designed so that those items are used to their fullest potential within. And then you must then use that item to defeat that dungeon’s boss, and you usually have no chance of beating that boss if you don’t make use of the dungeon’s associated item. It’s like a final test for the item, seeing if you know how it works enough to complete the dungeon and use it against a boss’s weaknesses.

The most recent example, and probably one of the best, is needing to use the whip to tear off koloktos’ arms in the ancient cistern, but the classic scenario of the bombs for king dodongo works well enough, and the bosses of majora’s mask requiring you to understand how the transformation masks work. There are definitely some bosses that require no use of dungeon items (moldorm in the tower of hera, either ghirahim fights), but the item’s usage is still showcased prominently in their dungeons.

Outside of the dungeons, too, the progressive acquisition of items makes more areas and secrets available to you, giving a much more palpable sense of progression through those games’ worlds.

In botw, you get every tool the moment you are released into the rest of hyrule, so while figuring out what to do with those tools can be fun, the sense of progression is dampened by having every item from the start and nothing you gain beyond that being needed for anything aside from a nice little ability to make things easier.

I’m not really too sure exactly why I never found botw fun the way everyone else does, but I think lackluster minigames and the general lack of items that aid a sense of progression are parts of it.

[weedle-testaburger]

one kinda controversial take i have about media criticism is i don't think 'it was rushed' is as damning or even important a critique as most people do. i'd rather have a really interesting idea done quickly than a really boring idea dragged out for a long time, not to mention how often it gets applied to media where the powers that be had it shortened for stupid reasons

[reginrokkr]

🔥 about dainsleif himself!

This is more related to a fandom conception rather than Dain himself (thus far he's doing great, I have nothing bad to say about him that I don't like which is a rare thing, truly), it's about what I read some saying that Khaenri'ahn people have tendencies to lie yet I have yet to see a moment when Dain lied.

Windblume opened my eyes about this in Rosaria's letter actually where she talked about how she isn't one to never lie and she proceeded to write a small musing about what saying the truth means means: to not deceive or to not have ill intent when lying.

Which made me think about Dain once again and I thought about what the portion of the fandom that says that he lies refer to when they say he lies, which is that he never said that he knew Aether's sister. But the truth is that even though he knew that Aether was looking for her, there was never a conversation sparking more in depth that would require him to reveal that he knew her, actually. Part of me thinks that this is siding with Aether because of this self-insert syndrome (HYV doesn't help much on that as they always refer to us directly as the ones viewing the story and we do through Aether) and how they would feel if Dain pulled the same on them.

But yes, that. Dain is someone who withholds information, yes. But so far he never lied at least as far as I'm concerned.

Send me a “ 🔥 + a topic “ for an unpopular opinion → Still accepting || @maquiscursed ✦

[sxcret-garden-archive]

,

[aria0fgold]

Freed from hsr trailblaze quest finally and just whooooaaaa... Can Shaoji keep writing for other worlds too please? He's so good with it.

[thetwelfthcrow]

.

[a-god-in-ruins-rises]

sorry but if you think the pythia was just some woman high on natural gas you're ngmi

[lvlyghost]

Remnants

PAIRINGS: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x F!Reader

SUMMARY: You got hurt and Simon finds out.

WORD COUNT: 1.0k

TW: bruises, slight angst. reader missing simon. also fluff think that's it. lmk if i missed any. also poorly edited and not proofread. mind the english!🤭✨🤍

A/N: this is so self indulgent. embarrassing how much time it took to get out because i've had this idea for two weeks now. anyway enjoy!💛

Masterlist✨

Laying in bed until it was late was part of your daily routine when Simon was off on deployment. Too tired to even get up when he wasn't around to wake you at 7:00 a.m.

He was a morning person unlike you.

You remember the days he would drag you against him by the waist mumbling something about being too late to be in bed, to which you had groggily bit back and slapped his arm in a playful manner. Then he would be gone for months, leaving nothing but an empty bed and the absence of his deep voice to fill your ears. Feeling that made your eyes well with tears and your heart ache. What if I don't see him again? What if that was the last time I ever felt his touch?

Shaking your head you pull yourself out of the comfort of your shared bed, taking a quick bath before preparing yourself a nice breakfast.

Winter is starting to settle in and your favorite thing to wear is his black hoodie. The one that swallows you entirely. It smells like him, it's almost like being embraced by him.

"Come on don't cry now." rubbing your eyes with the hem of the sleeves. Traitorous, salty droplets spilling down. "Jesus." Taking a deep breath you calm yourself and the ache gradually stops.

The kitchen is somewhat cold despite the heater turned on. You watch as the coffee brews —the one he dislikes— you smile again although small. Barely a quirk of your lips at the thought of him looking intently at you as you take a sip and offer him one.

'Bloody incorrigible.' He had muttered.

But you had seen him smiling that day as well, as different as you both were from one another, the love you two held couldn't be denied, nor broken.

That's why when the front door creaks open your eyes widen, legs moving faster than your brain can register. Socked feet dragging across the wooden floor nearly slipping. Simon stands stall, the door closing behind him as he lowers the black duffel bag on the floor.

"Are you really back?" Your lower lip trembles, the emotion too heavy to hold it back.

"Come here, love." You lunge forward, collapsing against his body. Simon's quick to catch you with strong arms holding you. Bodies pressed together. He can finally let himself breathe. The smell of your home, the smell of that awful coffee you love, the aroma of your shampoo and perfume that drives him absolutely crazy. He pulls his mask off and his mouth is soon against your soft lips. Oh how he missed you. He missed this, his girl softly caressing his face standing on your tiptoes. Simon grumbled, when he feels the air shift and you pull back, his brown eyes glimmer with devotion.

"Don't worry there's tea for you. Plenty. I made sure of that for when you returned." He inhales deeply, kissing you once again on the forehead. Taking his hand you lead him to the kitchen to serve both the breakfast you've been working on. "How are the boys?" You ask taking two mugs out of the top cabinet.

"A bit more scarred than before but they're good." He comes behind you lingering close —too close— to your back. "Price wants a reunion. Told him I'd let you decide."

"You already know I'll say yes." He hums watching you pour some water in the kettle and waiting for it to boil. "Black or chamomile?"

"Black." You try to move around as much as you can with him caging you from behind. Giggling when he once again kisses you on the temple. "Alright, let me see you again..."

Simon grabs you by the forearm it's not hard, it's gentle but firm. Firm enough to hurt your neglected limb. You shriek, a loud 'no' leaves your lips as you stumble back and away from him, soothing the place where he had touched you. It hurt so much but you quickly regret your reaction knowing it'd spark something within him.

Simon's eyes go wide, then his brows furrow so hard you can see the small line that could leave a permanent mark on his forehead.

"What was that?" He growled. The distance you put between you and him is cut off by his long strides.

"It's nothing, I- I swear." You trail off, searching for an explanation. But he's smart and he won't let this pass.

Few things could make him lose his temper, you lying about your wellbeing was one of the top on the list.

"Show me." He demands and the way his eyes pierce through every part of you leaves no room for discussion.

Rolling up your sleeves you hold out your forearms. Simon's jaw clenches so hard you're certain he's cracked some of his teeth. Eyes set on your damaged limb; red and purple bruises on your skin. They're so fucking big and he has to remember how to breathe and control his emotions. "How?" His eyes shot back to yours, awaiting.

"I promise it's not what you're thinking Simon."

"Don't give me that. I asked you a question." he takes one of them careful not to press too hard as he brushes his thumb over one of them. Fucking hell. It's swollen.

"Just work Simon. I had to carry big boxes and you know I'm not that strong, that's it. So stop thinking the worst, yeah?"

Sighing he lets go of your arm, the anger slowly ebbs and he feels fucking tired. He thought the worst. No one could blame him, it was in his DNA.

"Next time let me know beforehand, bloody hell love."

You give him a quick hug.

"I still might have to have a talk with your cunt boss."

You snort.

"No you won't." You declare, motioning for him to follow back. "Tea's ready."

Oh, but he would definitely pay him a visit.

[spacedace]

Love the idea that Red Robin (the restaurant) doesn't exist in the DC universe, but *does* exist in the Pham's home universe.

Just a constant ongoing thing of someone saying Tim's hero name and whatever member(s) of the Pham are there say "Yum" without hesitation.

Everyone in the DC verse thinking that Tim - as Red Robin specifically - is some kind of Adonis to folks on the Ghost/Liminal Spectrum.

It's causing problems. Members of his family that are romantically interested in Pham members are salty. Bruce keeps trying to give him The Talk (the "how to let a group of people all interested in fucking you down gently and professionally" talk, and the "how to form a healthy polycule" talk, Bruce is nothing but thorough). The Younge Justice crew will *not* let him live it down. Dick is going all protective big brother on him, saying that if it makes him uncomfortable just let Dick know and he'll Take Care of It.

He's also deeply confused as to why they all sorta *sing* his hero name before they say Yum?? Is it some kind of call and response ghostly courting thing??

The Pham, notably, are entirely unaware of the chaos they are causing with this. For a long time they don't even know Red Robin (the restaurant) doesn't exist in this universe. They aren't even fully aware that they're doing the Yum thing. It's just too ingrained in them to fully realize it.

[thefandomthings]

Zuko x reader

"That's not what I meant, and you know it."

Betrayal

Hurt prompt #11: "That's not what I meant, and you know it."

Pairing: Zuko x Gn!reader

Warnings: Angst, No comfort, Established relationship, !!SPOILERS¡¡, Takes place in Book 2. Ep. 18

Notes: Oh boy, I have so many avatar requests, it's amazing. Thank you guys for participating in my event it makes me so happy! Tell me if y'all want a part 2.

Prompt Event

All you felt was pain, deep inside your chest. Watching your boyfriend take sides against the avatar once again was brutal. What made it even worse was Iroh was to be imprisoned, you would hold the same fate if you were captured.

You stood next to Katara and Aang, Azula and Zuko on the opposite side of the cave. Azula held the same malicious grin on her face, watching the three of you with smugness.

"My, my Y/n. You seem so down, how sad." She mocks you with a slight chuckle. Zuko gives her a glare, his eyes wandering back to you. They are full of guilt, pleading for forgiveness from you. Practically begging you to understand why he did it, to come with him.

"Leave Y/n alone, Azula." Zuko grunts, getting in a fighting stance with his sister. Azula clicks her tongue and rolls her eyes at her brother.

"They're the enemy now, Zuzu. Can't protect them forever." Azula laughs, blue fire erupting from her fists.

The blue flurries of fire woosh past you fastly. Katara quickly blocks the fire with her water. Using her octopus arms she slashes and whips at Azula, both going back and forth. The ground beneath the five of you shakes and cracks.

Aang and Zuko are going at it hand to hand. You watch out of the corner of your eye as Zuko takes a hit by Aangs wind, sending him flying back into one of the crystal pillars. Your heart stops, skipping a beat as Zuko groans.

You curse under your breath and run towards him, Aang is calling your name frantically. You slid against the rock surface and get the few rocks that landed on Zuko off. He lets out a huff of air, the weight of the rock off of his chest allowing him to breath.

He's quick to sit up, using his hands, he does a walk over away from you. Your heart felt like it was stabbed, watching as he gets in a protective stance. He knows you'd never hurt him on purpose, and he'd never hurt you.

"Why are you doing this, Zuko? Why are you so desperate to gain your honor back?" Your voice is meek, tears gathering at your waterline, blurring his figure.

"You know why I have to, Y/n. This is my chance to prove to my father I am worthy."

Zukos heart physically aches, seeing your tears making him question everything. He never wanted to hurt you, never wanted to put strain on your relationship. You're his everything, you've been with him since the beginning along with Iroh. Loving him even when he didn't love himself.

"But Zuko, when you get home and see your father, will he even except you? What if he hurts you again, or what if he tries to kill you?" You plead, knowing this isn't him. He's just confused and fighting himself.

Zuko stays quiet, thinking over your words carefully. You have a point. His father could easily do all of those things, Azula to. Does he really want to go through with this? Having Uncle imprisoned, possibly you too?

He closes his eyes tightly, fists clenched at his side. He lets out a long breath, salty tears slide down his cheeks as he looks back up at you again.

"He won't. I'm sorry Y/n. You can't change my mind. I'm going home." He lifts his fists back into a defensive stance, hands trembling.

"Please...Please forgive me."

You let out a strangled sob at his words, heart clenching and shattering. Zuko grits his teeth, holding back his own cries.

"Get out of here, before Azula realizes I haven't killed you." Without realizing it, Zuko was beside you. Taking you into his arms, he holds you as close as he can. His lips pressing multiple kisses to your head. His nose buried in your hair, taking in your shampoo scent one last time.

"Does this mean you don't love me anymore? Since you're leaving?" You asked, face hidden in his neck, tears hitting his skin like rain. Zuko squeezes you softly, kissing the apples of your cheeks.

"That not what I meant, Y/n. And you know it." He pulls away from you, taking a few steps back to create distance.

Water then wraps around his waist sending him flying. You scream his name as Katara takes you in her arms. You sob holding onto Katara as she sees you down.

"It'll be alright, Y/n. I promise." She hugs you tightly, the sound of wind echos in the cave as Aang enters the avatar state. Suddenly lighting cracks, blue electricity shoots towards Aang. Shooting into his back like a spear.

"AANG!" You and Katara race towards him, watching as he falls, his body is lifeless. Katara catches him, tears falling from her eyes. You use your bending to keep the three of you protected as Katara holds Aang and bends up the waterfall.

Zuko watches as the love of his life disappears. He lets out a sob, his fist pounding the ground.

He's sorry. So, so sorry. He never wanted to hurt you, cause you this much pain. Yet he has, and he might never, ever be able to fix it.

He hopes you're safe, and he'll come and find you when the time is right before it's to late.

[lubilli]

𝗸𝗻𝘆 𝗵𝗰𝘀 ➠ "cutie!"

synopsis: the hashira men when you call them cute/a cutie

ft. rengoku, giyu, sanemi, obanai, muichiro, tengen

warnings: they're all softies here 💔

r. kyojuro

• he was training while you were watching

• "you're doing so well, kyojuro!"

• he was all blushy cuz u complimented him

• he's used to compliments but it just felt different when you did it

• maybe bc you never really compliment anyone

• and maybe bc he has a praise kink

• "awww, kyojuro, you're such a cutie!" you squealed when you saw the pink dusted all over his cheeks

• his brain almost short circuited

• not even joking

• he's been complimented on his looks before.

• he's been called handsome, good looking, but...cutie? that was a new one

• "kyojuro? are you okay?"

• "yes, y/n! i am completely fine!"

• he said that while his cheeks literally looked like tomatoes

t. giyu

• you just got back from a mission looking half dead

• when giyu saw you, his face literally looked like this -> 😨

• how tf did you even manage to hurt yourself this bad..

• he DEMANDS to patch up ur wounds

• that brings you to your current situation, sitting on giyu's bed while he tends to the wounds

• you winced when he got to a certain cut on your thigh, he glares at you

• "you wouldn't be in this situation if you weren't so reckless, y/n." he scolds you

• you just laugh, "you're cute, giyu."

• it takes him a while before he realizes what you said.

• "did you call me..cute?" he furrows his brows

• "yes..because you are cute."

• continues tending to your wound even though he's literally dying inside

s. sanemi

• he's so aggressive its so hard to find him in a vulnerable state

• ur literally the first hashira to see him all calm

• when he's not screaming and yelling, he's actually really cute

• he loves cooking for you

• he's doing that rn

• "is it good?" he asks

• "it's a little salty..."

• "why can't i ever get this recipe right?!"

• he's so frustrated

• he's tried to cook this one recipe 5 times now but there's always a little too much of a certain ingredient

• you chuckle at his reaction & ruffle his hair

• "you're really cute, y'know?"

• wtf did u just say

• did u just call him cute...

• "WHAT'D YOU JUST CALL ME?!"

• those manic eyes found their way back onto his face

• he's yelling at you but you can see the pink dusted all over his cheeks

• you started calling him cute more often

• acts like he hates it but he literally loves it sm

i. obanai

• you started getting close to him recently

• you found out he actually really likes poetry

• you'll just be sitting under/on a tree and he'll be reading his lil poetry books while you're just dreaming

• you think its so cute when he shows you lil poems he really likes

• "this one reminds me of you" he points to a poem on a page

• you shift your attention from the clouds to his book

• it reads, "A faint clap of thunder,

Even if rain comes or not,

I will stay here,

Together with you."

• bro.

• you died

• why is he so cute sometimes

• scratch that, he's always cute bro

• you smiled so big, "you're really cute, obanai."

• you moved a strand of his long hair and tucked his behind his ears, seeing his beautiful heterochromatic eyes.

• he looked at you with so much love bro

• "cute?" he tilted his head

• "yes, so cute."

• he's a mess but he just nods and continues his reading

• although he literally can't focus bc ur now the only thing on his mind

t. muichiro

• you don't know how you even got close to him

• but he will NOT go cloud-watching without you now

• takes you to his favorite spot

• he just talks abt the clouds while you mess around with his hair

• sometimes braiding it, sometimes doing pigtails or ponytails

• "woah," he stares into the sky with awe

• "what happened?" you ask

• "that cloud looks like a turtle." he pointed

• you looked at it and it really did look like a turtle

• "oh and look, that one looks like a heart." he pointed somewhere else

• wtf hes so cute

• "so cute," you squish his cheeks

• he looks at you dumbfounded

• takes him 4-5 business days to process what you just said

• when he realizes his cheeks flushed pink

• he's literally never felt this before

• wtf type of witchcraft did u put on him

• you tilt your head, "what's wrong, muichiro?"

• "i don't know, but my cheeks and ears feel really warm."

• you laugh, "you really are cute, muichiro." you ruffle his hair.

u. tengen

• you and tengen are close friends

• his estate is like your second house

• started getting close to u bc ur flashy in his eyes

• then he got sent on a few missions with you and your bond grew even more

• anyways you were in tengen's estate rn

• "tengen," you frown

• "hm?"

• "my stomach hurts."

• he frowns, "should i get you a heating pad? do you want water? medicine? chocolate? massage?"

• you smile, "its fine. no need."

• "yes need. i'm not gonna let you endure your pain, y/n. that's very unflashy." he crosses his arms

• "you're such a cutie, tengen."

• he lifts a brow, "cutie? yes, i suppose being a cutie is very flashy." he nods. "now, tell me what you want—heating pad, chocolate, medicine, water, or massage?"

• "you're so stubborn." you shake your head, "but a chocolate sounds nice."

• "done deal. stay here and i'll get you some."

• he came back w some delicious ass chocolate

• "call me that more often. its very flashy."

• "call you what?"

• "cutie."

• you smile, "your wish is my command." you took a bite of the chocolate.

• he pat your head, "get well soon."

[kisses4lao]

Guess who's suffering from writers block!!! No but fr I wanna write SO BAD but I just can't 😭😭 so take some twst pp hcs until I decide to work on commissions again

Not proofread idc shank me

♧CW!!! Fem reader! twst dick hcs duh, every NRC student EXCLUDING ortho, might have some other hcs too

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♧♧~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Riddle:

Its... cute? Idk how to explain it

He is VERY sensitive

5.5 inches

Slight curve downward

The tip is a really deep red

Cum is watery, tastes like rosewater(this is a fantasy world i can make cum taste like anything i want)

Balls aren't all that heavy, very soft and squishy tho

Likes rimming. No further comments

Trey:

EEK MY BOY

I'm gonna try not to be biased

Hes BIG tho

I know you've seen him. Let's be honest, we all know he's PACKING

So I'm gonna say a solid 7-8 inches with a nice amount of girth

No curve, but very veiny

Heavy balls. Like, HEAVY. Bros got a whole bakery in there

Soft pink tip

Cum is the normal consistency, he takes care of himself

If you're sucking him off he'll change the flavor of his cock and his cum to whatever you want (thank god for doodle suit)

Cater:

Easy 7 inches

Not too sensitive, it takes a while for him to cum

His cum is pretty thick, its all the spicy ramen he eats

Curve upward, huge thick vein going from his balls to the tip

Cum tastes salty, but not overwhelming

Will have his clones fuck you silly

Deuce:

Another small boy

I'll say 6 inches, no curve

Hes sensitive too, but not as much as riddle

He really like getting his balls sucked more than his cock itself

Cum is watery too, but it tastes good

Like sweet in a way

Tip is a light blue dont ask why

Ace:

Another small boy 😭

He is CLUELESS

Poor man is a one pump chump

5.6 inches, curve to the left

SENSETIVE. pussy got this boy on his knees

Balls squishy, balls soft?

Yes to both

His rip is red, like a blush red

Azul:

A good 6ish inches with a curve downward

Not as sensitive as you may think

I think it would be funny if the bottom of his cock had like little suckers or some shit

Tip is dark purple and he has some veins, not many tho

Heavy balls, no squish :(

Cum is thick and black bc octopus

Tastes like what watered down hand sanitizer smells like

Jade:

😨

Its slimy.

No further comment on that

No but its like wet, a lot

So is floyds but we aren't there yet

Its like lube 🥺

Okay but he's LONG

8.5 AT LEAST

He also enjoys rimming

Tip is dark cyan

Cum is slimy too

Add some borax water and sell it on etsy

Floyd:

Basically the same as Jade

Hes smaller tho

Hes 6 inches but has SO much girth

His cum is more watery than slimy and the tip is a light blue

Lots of veins too

Kalim:

6 inches

So sensitive

He begs.

Loves blow jobs but would NEVER ask for them

Heavy soft balls

A dark brown tip and there's lil red swirlies

Cum is thick

Tastes like coconut toothpaste

Jamil:

mmmmmmmmMMMMMMM

BIG

So big

Destroy me PLEASE

7.8 inches and a big curve upwards

Likes fingers in his ass, just like Kanye west

Doesn't like blow jobs he cums too quick :(

Gets overstimulated easily and when he does hes highly submissive

Cum a lil thick (its all the curry he eats)

Its yummy tho

Tastes salty and a lil sweet

Like a pretzel

Tip is a redish-brownish

Vil:

Hes a very odd case

Hes big, dont get me wrong

But mans does NOT have sex 😭

He complains it ruins his makeup

7.4 inches with a few veins

Oh yeah hes unclipped too idk why but he is

Tip is a pinky purple color

Balls got some weight, they're not sensitive

Rook:

Hes an even weirder case

Hes very big but almost NEVER penetrates you

Hed much rather be in between your legs for hours on end

Making you cum on his face gives him so much pleasure

He doesn't touch himself either

When he's eating you out he has one hand thrusting fingers into your pussy, the other hand thrusting fingers into your ass(hes an ass man I know he is) while he sucks on your clit the whole time

He cums on the sheets whenever you do bc he knows how good you feel

Hes 8.5 inches with a curve down, large vein going upward

A creme colored tip

Cum normal consistency, you don't know what it tastes like because he never let's you suck him off :(

Epel:

Small boy

Whimpers

A lot

Hes 6 inches with a curve to the left

Light purple tip bc I said so

Light balls, but no squish :(

Cum is watery and tastes like lavender oil

Idia:

Oh god

Contrary to popular belief he has a lot of stamina

He doesn't have ANY experience tho

Played a lot of hentai games but thats the extent of his experience

I think it would be really funny if instead of whispering dirty talk or praise during sex he tells you the fnaf lore

Like he'll be blowing your back out and he'll just be like "so the crying child was actually william aftons son-" and then he cums

After hes done and doing aftercare he'll quiz you on the fnaf lore

If you get any of the questions wrong he'll fuck you until you can't walk as a punishment

If you get them all right he'll eat you out for hours until you also can't walk

Win win honestly

8 inches

TIP IS BLUUUEEEEEE

Cum is thick and salty, he doesn't take care of himself

Heavy, HEAVY balls. Very sensitive

He loves blow jobs too

Leona:

8.8 inches, but if we're being real to how ACTUAL lion anatomy is hes closer to 3 inches but yall aren't ready for that convo

Not sensitive at all, it takes so long for him to cum

But when he does hes so sweet, whispering praise after praise to you and lots of kisses

Cum is normal consistency, a lil on the thicker end

Its a bit bitter with a sweet aftertaste

Hes also unclipped and I will not elaborate

Idk if lions have them but if they do then he has a knot, not as big as jacks tho

Heavy balls, they're sensitive

Brown tip, like, dark brown tip

Ruggie:

7ish inches with a curve down

Also likes eating you out

Doesn't like having his balls touched

They're cute and squishy tho

Cum is also thick and doesn't taste like anything

Tip is a light brown and has a vein going through it

Jack:

8 inches.

Has a huge knot. Physically cannot pull out when it comes to it

Cum tastes like strawberries

Doesn't let you suck him off often bc he doesn't wanna knot in your mouth

Also gets pleasure from eating you out

Tip is grey and sensitive

Malleus:

Hes also like rook in the way he'd eat you out for hours if you'd let him

But he does penetrate you

Our big dragon boy loves the feeling of being inside your tight cunt

Will probably cum if you praise him

He has 2.

One on top one on the bottom

The one on top is longer, 9 inches while the one on the bottom is 7ish, the bottom one is a lot thicker tho

He'll be so slow easing them in and almost never goes fast when it comes to sex

He sees it as love making

They both have a black tip and the cum is normal consistency, tastes like... eggs? Hardboiled don't ask

Oh yeah his cum glows in the dark

Lilia:

Idc what you guys say this man is SO EXPERIENCED

He knows how to have sex properly and can make you cum in seconds if he feels like it

7 inches, his dick is where all his height went

Because he's so experienced he doesn't cum easily

PINK TIP PINK TIP

His cum is normal consistency, a little watery maybe

Tastes like citrus

Silver:

Loves when you ride him

Likes missionary too tho

7 inches too

His tip is grey

Very sensitive and gets overstimulated easily

Hes also just very submissive in general

Cum is watery and tastes like what a new car smells like

Sebek:

LOUD

SO LOUD

CANT TAKE THIS BITCH ANYWHERE

Cries during sex

Loves when you pull his hair

Does he have horns? If he does they're very sensitive

Cums if you touch them

Hes a crocodile right

Nah he has horns

8 inches no other comments

GREEN TIP

Cum is thick and bitter

We love him tho

Balls squishy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♧♧~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/n: im so fuckibg tired god help me

[allfearstofallto]

C, H, I, L, D, E for Childe 😋😋!! (Keeping up with the theme of Childe lovers in ur ask box)

YOU CHILDE FANS MAKE ME SICK!!

Anyways, this was so fucking fun to write, thanks you!!

TW: finishing inside, breeding, public sex, oral (m. receiving), cum eating, prostitution (??) (kinda?? spoilers he fucks for information)

ABSOLUTELY 18+ MINORS DNI

C um - Anything to do with cum, basically

His seed is precious. It's what he'll use to make children with you soon, so why shouldn't it be deep inside you? Your tight hole swallows him so much, it's able to take a little more. No matter what position he fucks you in, whether it's on your back with your legs up, or bent over whatever piece of furniture is the closest, he finishes inside you. He holds steady with his hips pressed against yours until every drop of him is inside you. His favorite part is pulling out and watching his cum dribble out, happy to have bred you with it.

H air - How well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes?

Orange is his hair color across his whole body, including down below. Coming from Snezhnaya, where the cold is constant, he isn't partial to shaving any of it. Childe makes sure it's well groomed, trimming it if it ever gets too long or uncomfortable, but he prefers his pubic hairs longer.

The sight of you with your lips around his cock is already outstanding, but when he forces your head down, making you take him all the way to base, he hisses in delight. Your nose pressed against his long patch of pubes, drool and slobber leaking down onto it messily, makes him never want to cut it.

I ntimacy - How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect

He can fuck you until you're weak in the knees, unable to stand the next morning and he does like it better this way. But he also is able to be slow and sensual as well. If you're good to him, he's good to you, bringing you to the point of multiple orgasms with his fingers and tongue.

Even he can't stand a slow pace for too long though and eventually he'll start fucking into you roughly against, his dick aching for relief. But he'll still kiss you all over, praising you for taking him so well.

L ocation - Favorite places to do the do

Childe prefers places that are semi public. Places where he could get caught, but most likely won't. Places where even if a person were to walk by, the act could be covered quickly and with ease.

His favorite is the living room of his manor, with all the large windows open. You'd still be wearing your long dress, just with your panties pulled to the side and with his cock was pulled from his pants. Your bounce up and down on his dick, the fabric of your dress being enough to cover the scene. If anyone were to see, they'd think you were just too lovers, cuddling together on the couch. Little did they know he was actively creaming your insides as they walked past.

D irty secret - Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs

As much as he doesn't like to admit it, he doesn't let his cum go to waste. If you're not there to swallow it down in your mouth or pussy, then he'll drink it himself. He cums into his hand and laps it up, letting the salty liquid flow into his mouth.

Originally he did it out of what felt like obligation, but as time went on, he started to enjoy it. A part of him secretly got off on swallowing it himself, his cock growing hard as he remembered the taste.

E xperience - How experienced are they? Do they know what they're doing?

He's just about as experienced as you'd expect from someone with a face as pretty as his. Women fall at his feet constantly, so of course he's had his fair share of tastes. His perceptiveness is what really sells him though. His ability to tell slight differences in moans, or even feeling which spots make you tighten more than others.

His skills are used for more than one off flings though. While he prefers to do things the brute force way, he knows that not all missions can be solved with fists. The best way to get information out of someone, is to give them what they want, and usually that thing is his body. He'll blow their mind in bed for the right price, a deal is a deal, after all.

[musical-chick-13]

Having complicated feelings about the MCU in this Chili’s tonight.

[singingcicadas]

Megatron's Opposite Day

"I free slaves"

This is Soundwave binding Ratbat but seeing as Megatron did the same thing to Pentius by putting his spark into Trypticon and reformatted Rumble and Frenzy into cassettes against their will I think he approves a lot of this practice

Megatron on Optimus and humans, after his defeat in All Hail Megatron ⬇️

he really salty

"I implant ideology" aka brainwashing

Decepticon cause = Megatron. nuff said.

"I liberate cities" says the person who let Nyon burn to make a point

Cities are too small, think bigger

Holding New York hostage.

"Like Autobots, they believe in the sanctity of life" which he doesn't. Kudos for being honest.

Allowing troops to do free-rein massacre is a reward for conquest. Nothing like some easy murder for de-stressing.

The Simanzi massacre which halved the Cybertronian population is off-screen so it doesn't deserve its own pic

"The revolution"

"We only feel good when we stand with a blade in one hand and a throat in another" "Let's make the entire face of the planet into our new gladiator arena"

What nice, confidence-inspiring revolutionaries. I'm sure they'll rule the population with benevolence after they've killed all the Necessary People with Necessary Violence. Final interpretation of what constitutes as Necessary is reserved for the sole discretion of Megatron, ofc.

Good goals.

Sentinel might be an absolute asshole but at least he's got one thing right: they're literally a gang of thugs who gets high off murder.

"The people are my utmost concern"

'The people': ................

"Battling for freedom"

Freedom of what? Function? Autonomy?

Religion?

the ability to choose whether to fight? on which side to fight?

Idk why they used the word "pogrom" for this, it's way too specific

Anyways it doesn't matter, they won't be missed.

Good for Bumblebee for calling him out. Screenshotted this just to appreciate Megatron's bitchy face ⬇️

Other urban legends:

"Megatron loves Cybertron" let's just burrrrn it

He did fight to save Cybertron in Chaos Theory but also made it pretty clear why he did it. It's not out of the goodness of his heart or any sentimental reasons like that. It's an ego/dominance thing.

Plus his wording when he's trying to convince Optimus to let him go with the Lost Light: "I broke the planet. And that, Optimus, is why I owe it to you - to everyone - to find a replacement."

Replacement.

In other words: I made a mess and can't be bothered to clean it up, so I want to get away from it and find somewhere new to start clean.

I don't think Optimus appreciates the favour.

"Megatron tore down a corrupt government" which is true, just too bad that he's worse

He's also, um, a closeted Zeta admirer?

"Megatron advocates equality" ???

Megatron x dictatorship is literally his OTP. They were inseparable for four million years. A lot of people died trying.

"Megatron cares about the Decepticons" no he doesn't. Not his troops nor its cause.

Like for one thing he treats them with complete scorn

Admits that the most useful thing about keeping Starscream around is that he can bully underlings into line

Wants to use the humans' nuke to get rid of his troops and reformat them into peaceful drones after they outlive their use because they were "too ruthless" for his perfect peaceful society

Has zero scruples about fighting Deceptigod, just affronted that his own soldiers are being used against him

And basically just drops the Decepticons like a bag of vermin after he surrenders. He never once mentions them of his own accord, other than to insist he has nothing to do with them. Even his surrender speech is something Optimus makes him do as exchange b/c he wants to go on parole. He wasn't planning on making a public address otherwise, he was just going to leave them hanging.

Looking at the publication timeline, Megatron started out as an established Evil McEvilson-type villain similar to how he is in G1 and it's not until Chaos Theory in 2011 that JRo really gave him a sympathetic backstory that drew his characterization away from the bloodthirsty pugno ergo sum warlord into someone who once held ideals about societal reform and remains convinced of his own moral supremacy throughout the 4 mill years of death and war, adding worldbuilding such as Functionism/oppression/government corruption as justification for the beginning of the Decepticon movement. But because the start of the Decepticons was already written in Megatron Origins and every evil thing he'd done up till Chaos Theory can't be retracted and they had to keep Megatron as a villain until his story was no longer central to the Autobot-Decepticon war line, and JRo didn't try to downplay the atrocities he'd committed (some of the most sadistically disturbing things Megatron did were exclusively in MTMTE flashbacks), but rather tried to distance him from them and placed the focus on the juxtapositions to emphasize change, this as a whole just resulted in Evil McEvilson getting turned into Hyper McHypocrite.