#bisexual heteromantic

[xxcalicofemmexx]

bi straight wallpapers!

Bi Straight: Someone who identifies as bi and straight. An intentionally vague term, for a broad umbrella that community can gather under. Mostly used by multigender, genderfluid, and otherwise nonbinary individuals, though it is not a closed label. Also known as bi het.

[coye]

I'd argue that a lot of straight people actually engage in what you could call "heteronormative bisexuality." Hear me out: It’s not necessarily because they have romantic feelings, but more so because they find the taboo nature of it exciting and thrilling, or they just love fucking, period. It's not internalized homophobia or shame about their sexuality. They're just really into the sexual aspect of it. They don't have emotional or romantic feelings towards the same gender. To some people, sex is just sex. There’s nothing deep about it.

I’d also argue that straight people are queerplatonic too. Straight people have close, intimate friendships with members of the same gender. But that doesn't necessarily mean there are any romantic or sexual feelings involved. It's about deep emotional intimacy and understanding. They click with their same sex friends in a way that feels special and almost queer coded, even if the relationship is strictly platonic.

So in both cases, I think there's this gray area where straight people are exhibiting behaviors that might seem a little bit queer, but it's not rooted in any kind of internal struggle or identity crisis. It's just people exploring different aspects of intimacy and sexuality. You can still firmly identify as straight/heterosexual.

[fleursfairies]

bisexual homosexual heteromantic asexual

[b4rk1ng-l0t]

🏳‍🌈 for TMC!!!

(Cw)

So glad you asked. /gen

🏳️‍🌈: Which character who is commonly headcanoned as queer doesn't seem queer to you?

Thatcher, Ruth, and Dave (<- closeted aroace who's convinced hes straight)

BPS is the pride parade, MCP3 is the "idk what the fuck a genderqueer is but I support you, kiddo"

"Back in my day, queer was an insult, but if anyone bullies you, tell me and I'll turn them into a missing poster talk to them😃"

Eve teaches Dave a lot, frequently leaves him confused like "what do you mean gender, sex, presentation, and pronouns are all different things and can have nothing to do with each other? AND a romantic label doesnt have to be the same as the sexuality label (ex. You can be heteroromantic but bisexual)?"

Personally, Dave is a closeted aroace. Like him and Eve were talking while decorating for pride month and he was like "I just feel like romance is over rated. I think the right person for me is taken and that's okay. All I need in life is you, Thatch, Ruth, and Turkey."

She blinks, "...Dave are you aromantic?"

And his brows knit together as he asks, "is that a type of bird?"

Tl;dr: They are ignorant but supportive💖

[snonkerdoodlefizzy221b]

ok so this is a very personal post but I've thought about it for a few months now and I'm pretty**** sure this is true.

****although it could change in the future. Don't take it at face value unless I haven't denied it for a long time.

I think I'm heteromantic bisexual. I only see myself in a romantic relationship with men, but I can see myself having sex with men and women. I'm not sure about people outside the gender binary, but I don't think I'd be actively inclined to pursue sex but not overly turned off either. Just. Neutral.

And I'm a little stressed because I'm pretty sure there is a very real possibility that I'm just blowing this out of proportion--that I'm NOT actually bisexual, I'm thinking about it for attention or "jumping on the bandwagon". (That's what my dad said anyway when I tried to approach him.) I'm scared that I might have to take this back in a few years because I was wrong and I AM just straight. Or that it might not be valid to experience this kind of attraction.

I'm not sure how irl people would react--I am absolutely assured that my friends would be supportive. I wouldn't have to come out to teachers or anything. But my family, extended family, and mentor figures...I'm not sure about them. My dad might not believe me, my mom would probably go ballistic, my extended family might not love me very much anymore (but I don't know, because I've never really talked to them either--its complicated). My mentor figures are conservative and I'm scared that they could be homophobic towards me. Although I hope that love transcends all for them, I think realistically that's not possible and frankly I do not want to fuck around and find out.

So if anybody has any advice that would be greatly appreciated...otherwise I hope you all have an amazing day/night.

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

Guys I need you to know about my weird ass dream:

Bart and Wally were hanging out. Everything was a pinkish-purple and slightly distorted, like I was watching them through a wall of rock candy.

Wally leaned over to Bart and said "I like men, I think. I'm bi. I always have been, I've just never said it out loud. It changes nothing in my life and it changes nothing about me but I think it's good to be myself. It's good to be honest about myself."

Now at this point I was shocked. Elated but completely bamboozled. I wasn't aware that this was a dream so I was F R E A K I N G out. I remember thinking "Holy shit, did DC just say that Wally is bi??? And have it just be a casual thing that changes nothing??? Without it disrupting his relationship with his wife or family?!?!"

My mind was running wild, which is why it took me a few minutes to process when Bart said "Oh cool. Me too."

Guys.

People.

I was ready to explode.

Then the pinkish-purple crystal wall they were in changed from sorta bi colors to just straight up the bi flag.

Which was weird because neither one had acknowledged the strange setting before this but suddenly Bart seemed to notice and he was incredibly confused.

Wally laughed. Like a cartoony villain laugh. And said "I knew it!"

Then he turned into Mirror Master.

I was sent reeling as I realized a) Goddammit, Wally isn't canonically bi, that was just Mirror Master apparently b) Oh holy, shit they've been inside a crystal/crystal dimension this entire time and c) Mirror Master's evil plan was apparently tricking Bart into coming out??

Anyway, I woke up after that but... what.

What the fuck.

[theatrefanatic27]

6teen LGBT headcanons:

Caitlin - Ally

Jen - Ally

Nikki - Bisexual

Jude - Pansexual

Jonesy - Questioning Bisexual

Wyatt - Asexual Heteromantic

[gissyfanime]

I made a twitter post about about this but for pride month I do want to show off my M/F pairs that aren't exactly 100% Straight. As because I have a fair amount for my fanimes (past and future), I've decided to share these specifically (hence why I'm talking about them in this blog)

Names of the pairs (and series their from/going to be in.)

Bisexual Demiromantic Couple: Nemomia x Aoshi (Nemomia the Chaotic Hero)

Ace Hetero Couple: Mokoko x Hirtemio (Carrot Fluffs.)

Queerplatonic Pairing: Vivimi + Senforion (Moon Mansion Solitary)

[isopod-chan]

A silly little icon of my sona Helya, featuring my* flags.

(*I designed none of these flags.)

Sometimes I desperately scroll tumblr to find any new positive posts featuring my identity, only to be disappointed or even saddened by the lack or negativity.

But I thought, "Hey... I'm an artist... I can just make something myself! Who cares what people think, I love my labels AND my flags!

So I made this fancy Helya icon (while listening to celestial breakcore) to make myself happy. And it did make me happy!

Flags in order: (from our left/right, not Helya's left/right)

Blue flower: male. (Duaric flag)

pink flower: female. (Duaric flag)

blue flower leaf: transgender. Represents my boyfriend

pink flower leaf: cisgender woman. That's me!

Left ear: julietian. Woman loving men.

Right ear: bennetian. Hetero attraction to men.

hair: jupiteric. Mspec straight.

left eye: heteromantic bisexual.

right eye: autosexual. Sexually attracted to oneself.

lineart: fictosexual. Sexually attracted to fictional characters either exclusively or stronger than the average person.

lineart on the side hairs: self shipper.

White background version in case it's hard to see the flags:

P.s.: if you identify with any of these, you're valid, you're seen, and you're awesome!

[liuwithheadcanons]

All the Peter Parker’s from the live action spider man movies are bi, change my mind oh wait ya can’t 

[buysomecheese]

It would be So Easy for me to be a gay man but alas I am a straight bisexual man. Maybe I won’t be after I take testosterone and get surgeries and become comfortable in my visage as a man idk. Lou Sullivan is my favorite historical figure rn and I’m really good at flirting with men who perceive me as men but none of the girls I like see me as a man and if they do then it’s one girl and she’s never gonna be interested in romance and also we’d be a really shitty couple (I can say that she’s one of my best friends) and also my current hyperfixation in my brain is my Boy Meets World self-insert who is a bisexual in gay love with Shawn Hunter and I binge read Long Exposure on Webtoon yesterday I am anxiously awaiting the new update. This sounds like I’m trying to convince myself I’m gay but I’m not I’m very comfortable in my sexuality I just think it’s funny.

[justkenz]

This is probably a stupid question but is being bisexual but heteromantic aloud? Or like a thing? I'm attracted to both men and women but I would never want to date a women? (I'm female btw) I'm not sure if that's a thing or what?

That's not a stupid question! And yeah that's a thing! :)

[rouge-the-bat]

people tend to be like "lol this guy is sooo in denial" if a straight person has sex with someone of the same gender, but actually. they really might not be.

people can have sex with others without being attracted to them, and they just want to have fun having sex.

or hell, they could just have the occasional exception of gay attraction, but its rare enough that theyd find it inaccurate/misleading to tell others theyre bi (and dont have interests in microlabels). them going on a dating site and saying theyre bi would expand the dating pool to a lot more people they would just have no interest in.

or, they may be bisexual but heteromantic, and when looking for relationships, they want to persue both romance and sex, so theyll just use straight to make it easier.

sexuality labels are used different from person to person, some use it to describe action, others use it to describe attraction, or a mix, or otherwise, or even use it just as a "close enough" to get whatever they want about themselves across to others simply.

i know "straight man who has sex with a man" and "straight woman who has sex with a woman" may initially come across as contradictory, or that theyre bi or gay in denial, but identities and their applications/uses are more complex than just a few set labels.

and i think we should trust what a stranger decides to identify themselves as, they know themselves better than others would. you can talk it over with them if you suspect they truly ARE in denial, but if they dont want to or still end up saying theyre straight, just accept it and move on.

and of course, this also applies to gay men who have sex with a woman or lesbians who have sex with a man. its not just "internalized biphobia" as the answer every time, and saying that its always that is very assumptive of people you dont even know.

other peoples lives and experiences can always be different than youd expect, and may even not make sense to you, but its THEIR life and identity to define. you can give them advice, but you cant force it on them, and certainly cant say what their identity TRULY is. only the person themselves can have a say in that.

[friend-of-a-cat]

So... I'm doing research for a piece of creative non-fiction (a personal essay) I'm writing for one of my uni assignments about the fact that I'm asexual and demiromantic and think that we, as a wider society, have gotten the concepts of love and attraction all wrong, and I've been researching more into the split attraction model because, well, I see it as something that's important and relevant, and this came up in my Google search:

The initial red flag of this article is the fact that it's on BetterHelp. I didn't see this at first, and did a double take.

Anyway, the first thing I would like to ask is: what are these 'cons'? As far as I'm concerned, there are none. I understand that, for many people, romantic and sexual attraction are intrinsically linked, but, for many, they're not, and the split attraction model existing doesn't harm the former - it helps the latter. The latter includes people who are on the asexual and/or aromantic spectrums, as well as people who are, for example, heteromantic and bisexual, panromantic and homosexual, biromantic and heterosexual, etc. - basically anyone whose experiences differ between their romantic and sexual attraction.

I do find it a bit annoying that, when many people talk about both of these kinds of attraction, they lump them into one 'label', which is mostly [something]sexual (e.g. heterosexual, homosexual, etc.). But, for them, the two are linked, so referring to themselves as [something]sexual to cover both seems fine and dandy. Which... it is. However, I find it wild that people don't realise that, despite the fact that the two may seem linked to them, they are actually two different experiences. People who are both alloromantic and allosexual should be able to see this, right? They can think someone is sexually attractive yet not be romantically attracted to or want to date them. That is a thing that can happen.

Anyway, I decided to read through the article. It isn't bad, per se - much of the information is useful, and it seemed to be quite positive. Until I got to the 'cons':

Now, I'm not really into the discourse surrounding the split attraction model - in fact, I didn't realise there was discourse surrounding it. This is because I tend to, either accidently or on purpose, avoid discourse in general. But... 'oversexualisation'? In what context? If anything, not using the split attraction model would be considered 'oversexualisation' (even though I don't think that that is, either - I honestly don't know why this word has been brought up here) due to the fact that many people focus on sexual attraction over any kind of attraction and use it to cover romantic attraction, too, when they talk about it. I genuinely have no idea what they are referring to here.

In regard to the second point: what? Attraction is complex. That's the whole thing. The split attraction model makes it less complex for many people. It allows people to figure out who they are and have the terminology to be able to voice it. Attraction is a spectrum and so is gender. Of course both of them are going to be complex. Society made both of them rigid in the first place, so breaking out of those rigidities is going to be confusing for everyone. The split attraction model helps people understand themselves, and I would like to think it helps them understand others. Everyone benefits.

I don't know if I can speak much on the third point, as I'm not familiar with the discourse, as I previously mentioned, and don't really know what it entails. Though, in saying this... what do they mean? When has asexuality - or aromanticism, for that matter - ever been prioritised over other queer identities? There's a severe lack of discussion and education surrounding both of them. That's just a fact. People who are asexual and/or aromantic are oftentimes even shunned by the wider queer community they are a part of. I don't really have much more to add on this point because I'm so confused by it. By the way, this article barely talks about aromanticism, despite the fact that it's an important part of this model, too.

The last point is just a rehash of the second point. If I was told about any of this stuff growing up, I would have realised I was ace and demiromantic from the start. Instead, I realised I was ace a few years ago after watching Jaiden Animations' video about the fact that she's aroace (I don't want to use the term 'coming out' here because, frankly, I hate it - I'll save that rant for another time). I only realised I was demiromantic in the past month after... realising that people getting romantic crushes on and/or falling in love with someone when they barely know them is actually a thing that happens and isn't fake. These two terms fit me best at the moment, and explain everything. If I had've known these terms as a teenager, that would have been great. The split attraction model helped me so much in breaking down myself and my identity, and offered me the foundation I needed to ask myself questions. Yeah, attraction and gender are confusing - I said it before, and I'll say it again. But why would you cast something so helpful aside? That will only hinder people - both those who are struggling with their own identity and those who are trying to understand the identities of others. Education surrounding the complexities and spectrums of attraction and gender are so important, and this model will help people teach other people about attraction.

I also read a bunch of hate comments, as one does whenever they go on Reddit or Twitter or literally any social media platform ever, regarding the split attraction model. This didn't surprise me. These specific people seem to hate this model because... well, I don't really know. They were mostly spewing aphobia. I don't think a single one had a constructive point. Also, most of the search results for 'split attraction model' on Google are actually critiques of it, or articles talking about critiques of it and being on the fence. Come on, people. Do better.

Anyway, the split attraction model is important. Education is important. Allowing people to figure out who they are and express it is important. This should all go without saying.

That is all.

[bispunoutperv]

There progression of being bisexual and heteromantic for Tay to full on gay for Tay.

[timmydraker]

My orientation headcannons for BatFam!:

Bruce:

Cis (He/Him) - primarily masculine

Pansexual - Demi romantic

Dick:

He/they - doesnt sit still on the masc to femme slider

Pansexual and romantic

Barbara:

Cis (She/Her)

Pansexual and romantic

Jason:

Cis (He/Him) - did question it when Dick told him about pronouns but decided he preferred he for himself - Masculine

Asexual - Biromantic

Tim:

DemiBoy (he/they) - masculine leaning

Bisexual - Biromantic

Stephanie:

Cis (she/her) - feminine

Doesn’t like a title but leans more toward woman both romantically and sexually

Damian:

Says Cis (He/Him) but doesn’t mind They/Them

Demisexual - demiromantic

Cass:

She/they - prefers They but still likes She - feminine

Lesbian

Duke:

Trans Male (He/Him) - masculine

Heterosexual - Heteromantic

Kate:

Cis (She/Her) - feminine

Doesn’t like titles either and will just like who she likes

Harper Row:

Cis (She/Her) - more masculine

Lesbian

Selina:

Cis She/Her - femme queen

Changes preference like she changes clothes (moronsexual)

Alfred:

Cis (He/Him) - masculine (but like soft)

Homosexual