#but genuinely Bruce wtf

[im-a-lil-bitch-boi]

EDIT: after bein explaimed to the affects lobotomy can have on someone, ill have to amend this post by sayin i would not lobotomize the joker. i would srill do SMTH, jus not like. . . this. makin this edit as i still agree w alot here aside from the lobotomy and vegetable comment(which have neen explained to me as ableist). also another reason for this edit is so others can see this w out me havin to take this down but also so i dont have to do major edits whilst half asleep 👍

ngl of i was Batman i woulda lobotomized the joker i,f he kill my son. fuck him, and fuck Superman! that mfer aint finna srop me

Supes: u cant kill the joker

me: ik that y ima lobotomize him, he killed my son. u think ima let him get away w that?

tbh i woulda lobotomized him the 2nd time he commited mass murder ngl, i ain fuckin round w thqt shit. Barbaras not gonna become disabled bc of him, Tim aint gonna become joker jr, amd Jason sure as hell aint finna die bc the jokers gonna become a fuckin vegetable when Dick is still Robin

ALSO i woulda gotten therapy the moment i realized i was fuckin up Dicks n i's relationship. i woulda offered him to join me in some family therapy n not do wut emotionally constipated Bruce "I am Vengence" Wayne did tf

[mikakuna]

just saw a batfam art and dick was pointing at jason being like "it's not that he's evil. it's just that he lacks empathy"

JASON LACKS EMPATHY?!? JASON????? LACKING EMPATHY?????????????????? EMPATHY????????

does this person know a single thing about jason because his entire character revolves around him having basically too much empathy to know what to do with

[ormymarius]

if Orm wasn’t already an Aquaman villain, he’d be a Batman villain bc he’s such a Batman hater

[i-yap]

Fights between bruce and y/n

bro is so paranoid, he knows everything about you . Everything , and when u find out he extensively stalked you, it prolly didn't sit well. with tim he stalks cuz he loves you. bruce has really serious trust issues and he stalked you to make sure u wont uh lets say steal his sperm and train your kid in the league of shadows .

he sucks at communication . like he will not explain why he does what he does and struggles to talk. Especially in like aggressive confrontations , he'll just go silent and batman persona like . so once you both calm down and sit in a secluded but calm place all alone he will prolly explain his pov. just be gentle with this giant please

hates nonsensical activities, sorry but its facts. he will give you his card take your friends for shopping but bruce has to run a company and the justice league and ( his kids if its batdad au) whats the point of trailing behind you while you look through clothes like? he isn't into fashion, he thinks you look pretty in everything. you guys get to spend no quality time why not just spend those 2-3 hrs taking you out for dinner after ur done shopping?

doesn't really get how expensive gifts can make someone uncomfortable. he is sort of used to gold diggers or rich women. so when you refuse diamond necklace cuz it isn't even a special occasion wtf brucie, I cant just take that , he wont get it. He prolly wont stop either. Will for sure end the argument with" this necklace has now belonged to you and no other woman deserves to wear. so throw it out if you don't want it but I am not taking it "back to the store" or whatever that means"

he is so smart, sometimes forgets that everyone else is not. he thinks its cute when u get super confused but you feel dumb and it'll take a genuine conversation where he tells you that he thinks your the smartest, kindest and most interesting person he has met and IQ or hacking skills or whatever has nothing to do with it.

getting him to retire.

[aangelinakii]

DATING BRUCE WAYNE.

note : this has been in my drafts for AGES and i finished it in like 5 mins enjoy hopefully !!

genuinely will get you anything you want

but he may get a bit insecure or shy about his wealth, because he may think you're in it just for the money

and, well, he's known for just having meaningless flings with supermodels who were just in it for the money

you may think he was just going to be like that with you too, like just a flip and dip 💀 even if you didn't actually flip at all

so he'll try find ways to prove his kindness and affection

may struggle with words of affirmation, but he's trying !!

he'll probably even ask his kids for advice

because he's a dad

he's struggling to settle down

bruce wayne is batman, but he is adamant on not opening up about that too soon, but he's just so.. secretive

at some point you begin to think he's cheating

so he has to reveal it, for the sake of your relationship, and he really cares about that

he invites you round for dinner at the manor, feeling nervous ??? becquse wtf since when did bruce wayne ever feel nervous ??? ever ???? hoping to tell you the truth

obviously it isn't like you believed him at first

hello ?? this guy is NOT batman like..

but he brings you down into the cave and well

once the whole batman thing is out the way, and you both devise a way to be able to spend time together, like what best works for your schedules

it actually becomes easier ?

film nights, him coming round yours and you cook him dinner

he enjoys being taught how to cook

i think although he can make some things, he actually relies more on his kids and alfred and dory to cook 😭😭

but it creates for fun bonding experiences and him almost burning down your home a couple times but it's okay you laurv him

getting to know his family and friends

if you and bruce ever get married, dick WILL call you mum/dad as well and you almost cry every time

having to be taught (if you dont' already know how) to patch bruce up during times he can't do it himself

trust is truly so important to bruce, so once he trusts you, believe me that man is never letting you go

you are his person

[mikeluciraphgabe]

A certain Batman fic I desperately want written is so heartbreaking I don’t even know if I should tell y’all…

I’m going to anyway but still

Some anti-hero needs to kill Bruce in order to save the world in X days

Bruce, obviously, is all “ya sure”

His only condition? He gets a week or so to say goodbye to his children

Bruce isn’t Batman at all for this - wanting the birds to remember him as Bruce

Bruce takes Dick out to the first diner they ate at together when Dick was like 8. Bruce, before taking him back home to Wally, goes on this teary rant about how much he loves him/how proud he is.

Dick gets “wtf, are you ok??”

Bruce tells him he just had a bad dream (bc it’s the only excuse he could think of) and invites him over to the manor over the weekend for a family movie

He does this with all his children - something different for each

All of them are a bit off footed by it, but don’t ask too many questions bc Bruce is just Weird sometimes

(Bruce wanted his kid’s last memory with him a happy one)

With the movie started, all of Bruce’s kids in one spot, genuinely happy, Bruce settles a bit - ready

He dies during the night - the anti-hero was nice about it

The birds find out what happened - of course they do - and the gut twisting cries that leave their mouths cause anyone with super hearing to pause, listen, and panic once they recognize who was crying

[k4txlulzz]

abusive bruce wayne troupe makes me violent

and so does the "dicks friends/titans hate bruce" troupe because i genuinely believe that parent-child relationship problems are private and the child's or the parent's business ONLY and NO ONE ELSE has the right to overstep that boundary. ever

not to say people cant give advice they absolutely can but only if explicitly asked

oh and uh. abusive bruce troupe does a huge disservice to bruce's character because wtf AND im a firm believer that bruce should be allowed to move on from his unhealthy behavioral patterns

let that man be free PLEASE i myself love the idea of bruce being a flawed parent due to his own issues but he has to be free from that shit at some point??? its more than possible to change and grow as a person and its never too late to do better so limiting bruce to the angst inherently pushes the idea that people like bruce indeed cant move on ever

i definitely think bruce would have a harder time letting his past go but at some point he would try to heal and grow mostly due to the batfam helping with that(mainly dick)

JASON'S DEATH WOULD HAVE BEEN A WAKE UP CALL !! he would have stopped right then and there. THAT would make him realize that the way he treats his kids isn't good to say the least

[homarcide-aest]

I'm SO here for your Balkan Dick Grayson takes! I was wondering how you feel about how DC writes or fleshes out Dick's Roma heritage. Are there particularly great moments of representation or particularly flop ones?

*starts shaking*

i honestly hate most of the writing. not only because they arent romani, i mean you can get some basic info about rom culture if you talk to romano people and i understand its a pretty closed culture (like fuck even though im part romani i still dont know most shit, although tbf rom people in turkey is p assimilated) so getting info might be hard, but FUCK dude they look at rom culture in an american pov and its like?????? why.

most rom people resides in balkans, and like bro even if you took some balkani culture to dickies writing or even in is living space itd make sense, since again, rom culture is p assimilated w the country they resides in. like even small things would be enough. a heavy velvety blanket w a tiger or a rose?? him sniffing bottles before drinking??? thats like the universel balkanian experience.

and weirdly enough i prefer the old stuff. like yes they were racist dont get me wrong but at least i was likr "aaah they are talking about it and dick is getting angry about the assumptions" aka that one god awful panel where bruce is like "ye ur kind is hot headed lmao" and dick is like "wtf" (i explain things great i know)

but now??? its used in an awful one-liner. and never referenced again. like what the actual fuck does "beautiful romani smile" means. thats. thats worse???????? thats so much worse than hotheaded cuz its used like "haha guys look i remembered dick is romani haha i know romani culture" and im like no????? shut the fuck up????

at least when people say rom people are hot headed i can be like "ye lmao we do start fights out of nowhere" and again ITS UNIVERSEL BALKAN EXPERIENCE. all balkanians have anger issues. we love chaos. but when its like "haha dick has a beautiful romani smile" im like "oh fuck off" cuz again, its such a narrow minded look at romani people.

i was gonna end it there but fuck it im not done.

rom people are stereotyped as "happy go lucky, have no worries even though the world burning, cant do shit unless a white person is guiding them, hot headed and potty mouthed". besides the last point this is the exact character assasination dickie got. they turned him into a romani stereotype because haha one trick pony robin. he used to be so much more but noo the writers cant actually handle a complex character so lets turn him into this rom stereotype, and say hes romani with a fetishizing ass line!!! i hate dc so much

sorry for long rant lmao im just. genuinely angry at this lmao

anw dick is balkanian now. i can handle mischaracterization of dickie but i will not handle americanization and frenchification of dickie

[slugbuggy]

How does flux get along with the other brozone bros(plus viva and poppy)?

John Dory: flux would initially have mixed feelings about this guy. he’d know of all Floyd’s brothers before he meets them bc Floyd would’ve told him, and from what he’s heard of JD…his feelings towards him are not necessarily great. So when he meets JD, he’d be like. Hm. You’re….at least trying to be a better person so I guess we can be chill. Def think JD also made a comment about how now he has two brothers with giant partners and flux would be like mind ya business

Bruce: he’d probs like Bruce the second best out of the brothers (first best is branch lmao). hed think he was chill, they’d def get high together lmao he’d think it’s cool that he’s also in a size difference relationship so him and Brandy would bond over that lol flux also loves kids so he’d love having a bunch of nephews and niece to play with 🥺

Clay: Flux would think Clay is intimidating but cool cuz the guy is really smart about legal stuff. He’d joke about clay doing taxes for him. He’d admit to Clay that he hasn’t read a book in 15 years.

Branch: flux’s favorite bro!!! obviously biased because Floyd would have gone on and on about his baby brother.. he’d know Floyd really wants to make it up to branch so after the events of the movie flux and Floyd would stay in pop village for a while. Flux would have his RV on the outskirts of the village and he’d hang with branch and Floyd together most days, so he’d get the closest with branch out of all the brothers.

Viva: he’d think she’s cool!! he’d wanna make music with her cuz he’d like her voice. they probably wouldn’t interact too often tho!

Poppy: flux would grow to love poppy but initially be unsettled by how nice she is. He’s not used to people just genuinely being nice so he’d be like. Is she real. She’s so sweet. Wtf. She would be the one to convince him to try and see his parents again who he hasn’t seen in 15 years.

[frownyalfred]

ALFRED AND BRUCE…. healing me for real. I am genuinely going insane over this fic like I saw you updated and tucked my ass into bed ready for story time and it didn’t disappoint. I am losing it. I need Jason and Clark and Lex to meet and I need it to go so badly but also so well

I am totally normal about one (1) stubborn omega realizing his poor butler has been trying to pack bond with him for years and he’s been inadvertently shutting that part of their relationship off because of his own issues.

It’s definitely going to be something when Lex and Clark and Jason all get in one room. Luckily, Clark is pack alpha and maybe seeing him be calm and assertive and still earn Lex’s submission will help Jason realize he might be wrong about this whole alpha dominance thing.

(I just imagine Jason staring at Lex like wtf you’re actually submitting to this random hick??? and not me?? and Lex is just like sucks to suck, kiddo)

[clownprince]

Joker's motivations in Joker War

Now idk if I was the only one initially confused by wtf Joker's actual intentions were in Joker War. Maybe I'm just a bit schewpid and everyone else got it but regardless here's my attempt to piece together what's going on in his weird little mind.

Imho, the first lines we get about Joker's underlying intentions are here:

It's extremely important that he was aware of Bruce's intentions to redesign the city. That was definitely the catalyst for the whole thing.

Speaking of Bruce's plans to redesign the city:

He mentions multiple times that his goal is to build a city that doesn't need a Batman.

Regardless of whether he actually mentioned something like this at a press conference or something, I'm sure Joker would be able to pick up on it anyway.

And it's very well-established that Joker needs Batman. The Best Man arc has this whole beautiful monologue about it:

Joker NEEDS Batman. A city without Batman is a city with no place for Joker.

The whole Best Man arc takes during the same year (year 17) as Joker War (prior to it, obviously).

The Batcat engagement took place in year 16. (In which Batman also had Joker locked up in his basement. And he deliberately tracked down amnesiac!Joker and made him Normal Joker again so he could get information. Yowza! Not cool, Bats.)

Additionally, the events of Endgame took place on year 15 and Death of the Family in year 14.

Joker reveals more of his motivations in the final fight scene between him and Batman:

Very interesting that Joker initially chooses to stab Batman in the back. Hmm I wonder if that has any deeper meaning or reveals anything about Joker's own feelings in this situation /sar.

Also very, very, very significant that Joker chooses to battle Batman in that particular suit, after he essentially desecrates it:

So, by now, it's apparent that Joker's direct intention with Joker War was to essentially destroy the possibility of Bruce's vision of Gotham:

He even directly says that all of this was about them.

Hm... I don't think he's just talking about the city, here...

And then we have this:

There's been a recurring theme since Death of the Family, that Bruce isn't being the Batman that Joker wants him to be.

To me, this line feels like "okay, Batman is ruined irreparably, let's just destroy him and start over from scratch."

Then we have this panel. Whew. I think this might be one of the most revealing panels in the entirety of Joker War, largely because of how Joker is depicted in it.

He doesn't look angry, he looks genuinely distraught.

And I didn't notice this until someone else pointed it out but if you zoom in, it definitely looks like he's crying.

I don't think this is just an artistic thing, largely because of this panel from a few issues back:

So those are definitely tears of laughter. But it looks roughly the same. Except based on the context and his expression, I don't think those are tears of laughter in Joker War. At the very least, he's hysterical.

Somewhat of a tangent but it's important to tie everything together: Joker War reminds me very much of DOTF and Endgame in that Joker is depicted (or tries to portray himself) as this terrifying, ruthless, inhuman thing, but if you actually look into his motivations, he's being driven by his emotions, particularly his feelings about Batman, which are almost inarguably the most human part of him.

In DOTF he talks about how Batman isn't being the Batman he wants him to be and yadda yadda, but then in the tie-ins, we have this section, which I think does a beautiful job of explaining his real motivations:

It's jealousy. Jealousy and fear. He's terrified of losing Batman.

And then there's a similar thing in Endgame.

Initially, he says this:

"Haha yeah I'm just bored of you lol."

But then in the final scene we get this:

He's not bored, he's heartbroken. He's genuinely hurt by Batman (in his perception) rejecting him, and he's lashing out in a major way.

I think it's definitely similar in Joker War, except he's not as afraid of losing Batman to the Batfam, more so he's afraid that Bruce's new design for the city will eliminate the need for a Batman, although the Batcat almost-wedding and Bruce's growing family definitely play a role in his motivations.

I think that might be where his whole idea of making Batman start over with nothing came from. Because when Bruce started, he didn't really have anyone except for Alfred, and later Dick.

I think that Joker could tolerate him having a few allies but he can't handle the idea of Batman having an actual family. Both because he doesn't want to share Batman's attention, and because he doesn't have a family, so why does Batman get to have one? Why does Batman get to connect with people when the only person he's truly connected to is Batman? He wants Bats to be as dependent on him as he is on Bats.

So, that's just my Hot Take (read: mediocre interpretation) of Joker War. I wasn't too fond of the storyline until I kinda pieced everything together and it's still not my favorite arc but I definitely like it better than I did initially.

[just-an-enby-lemon]

I was thinking and I got the conclusion that stalker!Tim works as an AU not because Tim is (while not a stalker) canonically a weirdo (he is) but because Bruce is canonically even more of a weirdo.

We know that just like his reaction to the fake uncle shit, after dealing with the shock that this kid figured out his identity and bonding more with his new Robin, Bruce would just compliment Tim stalker abilities and give him new ones.

And that's to say I need more of stalker Bruce creeping people up. We already have him knowing all JLA secret identities without them telling him. But we need more. I want him knowing Hal Jordan's favorite ice cream flavour or Diana's birthday or Dinah's food alergies without no one telling him. He figures Ollies favorite fucking arrow and Zatanna's favorite Barbie movie, he discovered Arthur favorite snack and how exactally Martha Kent made her fried chesse to give a perfect copy to Clark when he was missing Smallvile during a space mission. He discovered Barry's competitive pokemon team! Everyone on the JLA is freaked. They think he has a secret mind reading/guessing superpower he might not even know about but is just stalkish paranoia. The only person he can't figure things out (and it keeps he awake some nights) is Captain Marvel (he is still the first to discover Billy is a kid). Martian Manhunter is the only one that knows Bruce is just weird but he knows he has good intencions so he doesn't care.

And it isn't only with the League. He makes extensive background checks in all his kids friends. The Teen Titans (both Dick's and Damian's) are freaked out by it. The YJ is actually fine 'cause they are used to Tim and it makes sense Bruce would be like that. The Outsiders (both Jason's but also Cass and Duke's) make their personal quest to mislead him. Not to mention the civilian friends. He is less obvious about it but the kids know and it freaks them up. Steph has a serius discussion over bondaries the day Bruce asks about Crystal's dentist visit and Babs is annoyed af when he just knows things about Alysia. And not only the kids all the other batfam members! The Birds of Prey straight up told him to stop multiple times. Helena once asked Sage's help to trick Bruce, Kate just used Alfred to order him to stop. Barbara interceded in name of Montoya as if she wasn't even in the paranoid stalker game with Bruce and Tim (Babs is worse than Bruce actually). Jim Gordon thinks is cool actually. But Lucious Fox is just "kid, I love you, but Alfred needs to teach you bondaries" and "how did you know Tam's baby tooth was starting to fall before me??" (Yes Bruce does this stalker thing since he was a kid/teen)

He also does it with the Rogues. At first they don't notice it because it's normal that their oponent knows things about them but starts to get weird. Selina freaks out when Bruce tells her to say happy birthday for her cat n12 (Dollie, he called it by name) when she hadn't even introduced him to her cats yet. Riddler had a genuine breakdown when Bruce just gave him the exact perfect copy of his glasses prescrition and all to replace his broken ones during an interrogation (he needed Riddler's help against a copycat). Harley punched Bruce in the face after he correctly pointed out she had just started her period and offered heater packs for her cramps, a chocolate ice cream and some snacks while driving her to Arkham, Penguin stopped doing crime for a whole week after he had almost fainted (being a crime lord is hard) for not eating the whole day and having high blood pressure for stress reason and Bruce just gave him a snack, a bottle of water and his meds (except it wasn't his meds, Batman just had a pill of Penguin's prescription in hand and wtf), Scarecrow recomended him therapy when he somehow figure out Jon's favorite candy bar and tried to use it as a bargain for information, Joker felt very flaterred that Bruce not only knew that he made his own dye using two pre existing dye products and a mix of chemicals but had the formula including the recomended brands for everyhing.

The only person who had no reaction was Clark. Clark sees Bruce being a weird stalker as just a fact of life and no one knows how to deal with it. (It's better than Tim "I wanna be like that" and Babs "cool but I'm better " aproaches at least). Talia Al Ghul used to consider it impressive and have a flirty competition to see if Batman could figure details about her. After they stopped being an item they respected each other enough that he just stalks Talia if is related to Ra, crimes, Damian or the League.

[ofc-vi-writes-too]

In honor of me being black and loving being black and thinking everyone should love black people, here are a list of characters I believe love black women with everny bone in their bodies:

• Starting off strong: Steve Rogers. I can’t explain it but trust me please. If you get it you get it if you dont you dont.

• Jason todd. Like c’mon. Look at him. Tell me he doesn’t want to wake up next to a brownskin queen every morning. Look me in my eyes.

• MCU Bucky Barnes. I love to say it, Wakanda changed him. Stepping foot in that country was like seeing the light for the first time. He was basically reborn. I said it before and I’ll say it again. Look at how he looked at Sarah. SAME LITERALLY EXPLICITLY TOLD HIM NIT TO FLIRT WITH HER BEFORE THEY EVEN GOT THERE.

• Gojo, Itadori, nanami, and Toji from JJK. i dont think i need to eloborate here.

• Haley from Stardew Valley. She is not only a fellow girl kisser, but she would genuinely have a real tweak if the farmer was a black woman. Haley needs a 6 ft nonchalant butch dreadhead in her life it would literally solve all her provlems. She has written in her diary about this, and Alex hasnt heard the end of it.

• Fear from Inside out. Just believe me, please.

• This might be controversial but Squidward.

• Bruce Wayne. Literally thinks about eating drywall every time Selina Kyle is even mentioned. “Alfred why hasn’t God hand delivered me what i CRAVE and what i NEED *loud dramatic sigh*” hes also accidentally a perpatrator of hard wig soft life lmao. He donates ridiculous sums of money to black charities like 100 black men, and the black youth helpline. He’s an advocate for his girl’s community and we love to see it.

• Barry Allen. also thinks about eating drywall whenever he sees Iris. She’s just so sigh. And he loves her so much and he’s so glad that he married that beautiful amazing strong and powerful woman.

• Ellanore Shellstrop. After she died she had real clarity about the truths of the universe. If soulmates didnt really exist then wtf were her and Chidi im so deadass.

• Woody from Toy Story. Please do not at me. I will not be taking questions comments or concerns on that one. And for anyone saying “but what about bo peep ?!” Shes albino. Look at those 3B curls and tell me to my face that I’m lying. I dare you.

• lightning Mcqueen. Hear me out here! In universe there have to be like… black cars. He’s def the type to go for a UK baddie ykwim.

————————————————————————

a/n: guys please im just being silly they are fictional characters please dont argue about how much these FAKE characters like black people 😞. also if you try and argue i feel like that makes you a liiiiiiiittle bit racist but like thats a convo for another time. Anyway, sorry to all my sistas out there who’s fav character I forgot. Ur probably right and they probably do belong on this list, I just might have forgotten they exist! Dont be scared to comment them tho. I need to know what yall think too.

[chekov-in-a-dress]

I saw a post and now I’m like, do you ever think about how Jason is the only robin that Bruce willingly chose?

OKAY OKAY OKAY WAIT

I need to properly think about this. So with Dick I can see it because Bruce felt like responsible for his parents' death? Tim, yeah he kinda decided he was gonna be Robin and semi-blackmailed Bruce into it. (no hate don't flame me I love Tim as much as all of us do ok)

Steph kinda just happened I guess? If we're talking pre-52 at least. Since she kinda sorta stepped in for Tim (I'm afraid to say I don't know enough about her canon to be 100% sure here)

Carrie literally just yeeted herself at Bruce and went 'I'm Robin now' and Bruce was like wtf ok (I love her so much ok)

Damian and Helena are Bruce's kids, which I guess he didn't have that much of a choice in letting them join the family business. Especially considering Damian would've possibly turned into a murder gremlin otherwise.

Which leaves Jason. Now let's ignore pre-crisis blond baby Jason who was just a carbon copy of Dick with his parents having been killed by Killer Croc at the circus they worked for.

But post-crisis Jason, little street rat who thought calling Batman a big boob and whacking him with a tire iron was an excellent life decision. Then refused to play along with Ma Gunn's schemes...

I do see what you mean. Bruce seeing Jason's potential and righteousness despite his circumstances and then deciding to pick him up for this reason rather than being more or less pushed into it.

And genuinely I don't see how anyone paints him as 'the violent Robin' or anything like that because he was a literal fucking sunshine?? Selfless to a fault, willing to throw himself in front of Bruce, to protect civilians with his life... fucking baby who drinks milk with prostitutes, who only got 'violent' with people who decidedly deserve it. (Hell, it's literally not even confirmed that the dude didn't slip rather than being pushed by Jason)

And then still trying to save his biological mother from the Joker after being sold out by her... Bruce was so right when he looked at that skinny little baby in that alleyway and went 'this one is PERFECT for Robin'.

I'm sorry, I'm rambling lmao this is what happens when you talk to me about my precious firstborn son ok let Jason thrive ok yes good thank you

[hellishere7980]

Begin Again Chapter 5 (sequel to IMW)

"What are your current policies on metahumans and magical users in Gotham?"

"Someone you know?" questioned Bruce, his voice carrying a mix of curiosity and intrigue.

"Yep," Pixie chirped back, her eyes twinkling with mischief.

Bruce began with his obnoxious voice, "We are not as strict as they used to be."

Pixie, muttered something suspiciously that sounded like a curse but not in the language of earth as Alfred would have said something. Sure he was fond of Pixie but nothing stopped the old-ever-vigilant butler from reprimanding on improper language.

Bruce, in response, raised his stupidly perfectly arched eyebrows that he attended salon sessions for and continued, "But we should know about them, and they should have their powers under check. It is also helpful if we know exactly how dangerous their powers can be."

"Hmm," Pixie hummed thoughtfully, a mischievous glint in her eyes as she glanced around the room.

She turned to Demonspawn and asked, "Got your camera ready, Damian?"

Jason, along with his brothers, quickly pulled out their cameras, and Jason swore he saw Alfred tap his phone, which was sitting on a stand by the countertop. Bruce, to his credit, managed to look both confused and slightly intrigued at the same time.

Pixie hummed a catchy little tune, and to Jason's astonishment, he saw Bruce making a funny expression. His sentiment was clearly shared by everyone else at the table, except for Bruce and Pixie.

Bruce then turned to Damien and, with a solemn voice, said, "My son, I know I don't say this often enough, but I have always been proud of you."

Jason raised an eyebrow in disbelief while the Demonspawn looked genuinely concerned. "Father, are you feeling well?"

Bruce, seemingly ignoring the question, turned to Timers, who was still trying to recover from his previous statement and said, "Tim, you saved me from my worst and are the reason Wayne Enterprises is flourishing. Thank you."

Timers, still trying to regain his composure, couldn't help but spit out the coffee he was unholy worshiping moments back. Then, Bruce turned to Jason and said, "Jason, I am sorry I never avenged you. After breakfast, we'll start on the plan to physically harm Joker to ensure he doesn't carry out his villainous activities anymore."

Jason blurted out, "WTF". Even Alfred was too astonished to reprimand him.

Bruce, undeterred, turned to Dickhead and said, "Thank you, Dick, for being the level-headed one when I was a dick."

The level of surprise and amusement reached new heights, surpassing even some of the frankly weird stuff they had encountered as a family of vigilantes.

Finally, Bruce turned to Alfred and said, "Thank you, Alfred, for putting up with me. I always saw you as my mentor."

Jason felt the amount of things in the world that could surprise him reduce very, very notably, as he watched the family's breakfast unfold in all its bizarre glory.

He saw Bruce's face slide off his neck? Only to see another Bruce's face behind it. The first face floated beside the second face for a while before going PooF!... and so did any semblance of civility they had.

Chaos reigned before Pixie shouted. "OK! SHUT IT!"

As the chattering abruptly closed Pixie continued.

"You saw I have magic."

He would have never believed that Bruce did a handstand and a split at the same time had he not seen it with his own eyes. Tim laughed out a strangled laugh which was borderline maniac. Did he see Bruce 2? Whatever that was, go poof.

"Talk amongst yourselves. Whatever questions you have get them printed out on a nice sheet of proper paper. I'll be back for dinner and answer them. Spoiler Alert most of the answers will be classified. So bye !"

With that Pixie poofed out leaving them dumb-struck.

He swore that nothing would have stopped the broody bat from typing off a list but today was a compulsory Justice League training session required to attend by all members, honorary or not and associates. He could feel his headache coming on with Bruce .

They placed on their uniforms with a slightly excited aura which was dampened by... honestly... all the variables in the situation.

They arrived at the Watchtower via Zeta Beam only to find it brimming with heroes... some who were anti heroes at times including himself.

Heading towards the training room, they could hear sounds of intense combat, indicating that many were getting their butts handed to them in sparring sessions.

As the whole bat clan stepped in expecting to see maybe Wonder Woman or Black Canary only to see a black clad figure dancing out using martial arts, honestly he didn't think anyone in the Bat Clan knew judging by their... frankly vibrant expressions.

As soon as they were noticed, Boy Scout Sr. stopped pounding Green Lantern's shield sparring and let out a whistle.

"As we always do we request anyone to share a particular skill that most of the people here can learn."

Lady Miracle raised her hand. "I can do that. How many people here can survive in space and want to smash stuff?" he announced.

He thought it was concerning the significant number of hands and at what speed they shot up. but with all the emotional baggage that comes with being a hero, breaking stuff is honestly the least destructive wait they can go forward.

Lady Miracle gave a cheshire grin.

"Everyone suit up! really are going to Noirdya Galaxy!"

Green Lantern raised an eyebrow.

"The abandoned clearly 2 million light years away Galaxy?"

"I can portal, you know.” Lady Miracle responded. “And the fact that it's abandoned makes it perfect for smashing ."

Green Lantern shrugged his shoulders "Fair enough."

As they all suited up and those who couldn't breathe into space stepped into a shield bubble made by Green Lantern. Lady Miracle turned to one of her gods? Cosmic beings? right. Kwamis.

"You'll see I'm gonna break my record."

"What exactly is this record?" Superman asked.

“How long I can survive without a suit. based solely on the dragon's powers which I have outside of suit. I often use this Galaxy for magical experimental purposes."

no one wanted to question her after all they all had their... quirks.

As they passed through the portal Lady Miracle had opened they came across a vast space filled with smaller than earth planets.

He saw Lady Miracle say something by her lip movement, saw her flashing a bit before she stood in a T-shirt and some cargo pants similar to what Superboy once more although she did have a domino mask like the bats and the arrows'. and then she flew and... hugged the planet? To everyone's astonishment the planet slowly turned into ash. Then she flew to another planet and he saw… some purple sparkles? around her hands and then she punched another planet and broke it into big pieces. How powerful was this girl? Honestly this was her out of suit being what he assumed passively charged by these gods.

She looked towards everyone. "What are you waiting for?"

He saw people readying themselves to join in the celestial smashing, embracing the opportunity.

[bodyfrmabalcony]

actually sorry to be back at this again but i did have slightly more to say about tim and jason (see last post i reblogged)

that post does a lot of analysis that i enjoyed re: their read on what tim is dream hallucinating jason saying re: his own death and i had a couple thoughts i wanted 2 add to that. tldr they r saying that this is wayy more about tim than it is about jason and i super agree. i said something about jason's line saying he killed himself in my tim post from last week, but it was kinda reductive, where i said basically yeah that sure sounds like like a way bruce might describe it!! but i don't really think that's the whole story - my more genuine nuanced take on that is a little more like: it sounds an awful lot like what a scared kid might imagine that bruce saying about what happened to a robin who fucks up, i.e., not something bruce said about jason but something tim is afraid bruce would say (or think) about tim if tim went the same way as jason

being a martyr and a cautionary tale and a failure - his own or bruce's - are all stacked up on top of each other w/ jason, and tim just kind of. has all that. to deal with. the linked post gets way into how tim is reacting to his mom's death, which is so so interesting to me, bc tim is clearly soo scared of his grief disqualifying him from everything else he wants and feels like he needs to do. he's scared he won't be able to be robin bc bruce sees him compromised by his grief, so he's got to grieve Just Right, at the same time that he's basically trying to take on bruce's grief for jason. the kid is in the poster house for Grief Alters Your Life In Ways You Can't Control and he's still trying to grieve correctly. oof.

and back to tim's relationship to jason post-jason's death, it's so interesting in every direction, but specifically a big thing to me is that on some level jason is not real. like he is, obviously, but tim didn't meet him and he's never going to. he's not dick, a man tim can remember as a child and whose apartment he can break into as a slightly older child. he's not bruce, a guy whose basement tim can end up standing in if he tries hard enough. he doesn't! exist! you don't get to meet dead men! jason doesn't need to be pinned down as tim's hero or tim's fear or tim's resentment, bc the most important thing is that he's just a story. he's just an idea.

and then, of course, what do u do when the idea puts a knife to your throat. or puts on bright yellow tights to beat u up in front of your friends. things get really silly!! quoting my own tags on the first linked post just to have them here as well:

#i think constantly constantly about the car crash disaster of #all the things ppl did in their grief after jason died and then #jason comes back. and sees things he was never meant to see #and it's specifically sooo interesting for the ppl who got caught up in the grief but never even met jason #tim looking at the memorial case #cass sitting at jason's grave on his birthday with bruce #like wtf is jason supposed to do w all that grief from ppl he doesnt know for a person he only sort of was #and on the flip side! wtf r the ppl who grieved a story supposed to do when the story walks up to them! #and in some cases. walks up to them holding a knife. #anyway just thinkin