#FUCK the joker

[call-me-strega]

Dc x Dp Prompt #21: Petition to the King

I haven’t done one of these in a while so here we go:

AU where Thomas and Martha Wayne live in the Ghost Zone version of Gotham and have been collecting signatures from the other ghosts there for a few years now. Since the Ghost Prince Phantom has finally come of age and is now able to hold court/assemblies they approach him with their official petition and beseech him: Please allow them avenge their grandson and countless other souls, who’ve signed agreeing to the petition, to haunt and torment the Joker for the rest of his living days. May he never find peace even in sleep, even in death.

Danny being the gracious prince he is agrees. Even going as far as to take the names of literally everyone on the list and create a haunting rotation, for who gets to torment the Joker on which days, with Thomas and Martha having first dibs.

The grandson in question is a revenant and thus also eligible to be put on the haunting rotation so Danny decides to reach out and go to Gotham himself and ask if he wants to haunt the Joker with his grandparents. Thomas and Martha tag along bc they wanna visit their grand-babies, their son, and their partner who raised him.

Jason isn’t sure what to make of his doting ghostly grandparents, the beautiful interdimensional king, or the apparent laundry list of people ready to mess with the Joker’s mind, but hey! If he can’t kill the Joker, eternal torment isn’t a bad deal to swing!

[beesarekindaswag]

Jazz says fuck the Joker

“To conclude, your honour, the defendant shows clear understanding of their crimes and the consequences of them as well as, no remorse coupled with a severe lack of empathy. Overall, I would conclude that the complex nature of the crimes committed along with behaviors displays suggest that the defendant is not psychotic and thus, capable of standing trial and facing the verdict.”

The red head delivered her analysis with devastating confidence, the glint in her eyes unwavering - a woman who knows she’s right and by god, you will know it too.

When was the last time anyone actually attempted to legally charge the Joker with his crimes? Honestly, most had forgotten it was even a possibility. The grandiose schemes and fights with the bats had elevated him beyond a mere criminal, more than a man and yet, that’s all he was - a man. A man who had been forcibly dragged back to reality by a determined Jasmine Fenton - budding psychologist and one of the newest idols for young Gothamites (the other being her brother who had been videod absolutely bodying the Joker on the street just a week prior - Joker was still nursing his wounds)

The deliberation of the court was unsurprisingly short - Miss Fenton had been clear with the facts and people were more than happy to utilize and opportunity to FINALLY punish the Joker. Joker’s lawyers couldn’t do much to stop the inevitable after all that the clown had done.

“The defendant is hereby found… guilty of all accused crimes & as such, sentenced to execution by the state.”

Gotham was free.

———

Based off of the idea that the Joker is only escaping proper legal punishment by being declared not guilty by reason of insanity. Jazz would not stand for that.

[timblrdrake]

i think all of our lives would be worse if the joker was still a comedian

i would take joker gas over a netflix special any day because at least then i’d laugh

[gothamundernightlight]

Incorrect Batfam Quotes

Bruce: That's an interesting shirt. Who's on it?

Harley: *wearing a tee shirt that says “Fuck the Joker”

Harley: No idea.

Bruce: Oh. Where's it from?

Harley: I don't know, I stole it.

Bruce: I’m begging you, please tell me before I find a shipment of them on my front porch from my son.

Jason: *appearing from nowhere

Jason: Too late.

[officialk15]

Is it named Gotham because they’re goth or are they goth because it’s named Gotham

[batmans-shark-repellent]

“What’s cooking your bitchlessness?!”

[im-a-lil-bitch-boi]

EDIT: after bein explaimed to the affects lobotomy can have on someone, ill have to amend this post by sayin i would not lobotomize the joker. i would srill do SMTH, jus not like. . . this. makin this edit as i still agree w alot here aside from the lobotomy and vegetable comment(which have neen explained to me as ableist). also another reason for this edit is so others can see this w out me havin to take this down but also so i dont have to do major edits whilst half asleep 👍

ngl of i was Batman i woulda lobotomized the joker i,f he kill my son. fuck him, and fuck Superman! that mfer aint finna srop me

Supes: u cant kill the joker

me: ik that y ima lobotomize him, he killed my son. u think ima let him get away w that?

tbh i woulda lobotomized him the 2nd time he commited mass murder ngl, i ain fuckin round w thqt shit. Barbaras not gonna become disabled bc of him, Tim aint gonna become joker jr, amd Jason sure as hell aint finna die bc the jokers gonna become a fuckin vegetable when Dick is still Robin

ALSO i woulda gotten therapy the moment i realized i was fuckin up Dicks n i's relationship. i woulda offered him to join me in some family therapy n not do wut emotionally constipated Bruce "I am Vengence" Wayne did tf

[a-lemon-boy]

people from amity park are feral

I fucking love fics when people from amity park go to Gotham 'crime fucking central' City, and they are the craziness thing to happen.

A joker attack? They just collectively beat the shit out of him and his goons. They don't even fight them in like an actual fight. It just chaos. Fucking lightsavers, tackling, kicking the shins, biting. Their's no dignity left for the joker and his men.

The riddler? Someone just punchs him to hard and he's down for the count. That mans dead.

Scarecrow? They just goesn't breath in the fear gas and hits him with a pan or something.

they are the menaces of Gotham now. Danny doesn't even be phantom in Gotham, he's just a normal guy to these people. It just danny and his classmates. The villains have never known peace since. And the poor bats or trying to find this feral group of children, who seem to have no safe for themselves.

[xxxjasontoddxxx]

Opinions on crowbars? -🦝

I mean. I currently use them to beat the shit out of drug lords who sell to kids, but I was also beaten to death with one, so. Net neutral, I guess.

[j4zzyh4nds]

I need the producers of MAWS to make a pseudo-spin-off of MAWS but with the batfamily. Give us silly adventures a la Wayne Fanily Adventures and tons of flashback episodes of Bruce adopting all his kids. 3 seasons, each Robin given a character arc in the order of their adoption, main villain be like idfk the League of Assassins or Court of Owls not the Joker bc he’s an ass. Also bc MAWS didn’t have Luthor as the main antagonist, they had Waller and Braniac. And because everyone’s sick of the goddamn Joker just kill him or something

[the-person-on-the-bridge]

Jason Todd goes to bed imagining the most brutal, painful and bloody ways to kill the Joker

[call-me-strega]

Dc x Dp Prompt #18: What’s Waiting On the Other Side

Ancient of Space/Reality and member of the High Council, Phantom, unleashes the souls of his victims onto the Joker and they drag him into hell “Princess and the Frog”-style like Dr. Facilier.

[ijustthinkhesneat]

I am about to be so real.

I fucking hate DC comics.

Like have they given us Dick Graysons butt? Yes. Jason Todd’s thunder thighs? Yes. Damian being teeny tiny? Yes. Tim being a bi gremlin? Yes.

But you know the fuck what. I simply cannot get over their aversion to men having problems and like dealing with it in a healthy way. Why is modern Bruce literally the worst person ever?

And I don’t mean in WFA or fanfic or cute little cartoons. Why in the Batman Comic series is Bruce one of the worst people ever? Bruce “I care about kids who were hurt like me and want to try and give them a better life” Wayne has fully morphed into Bruce “Teehee I beat my children and blame them when sociopaths that I enable hurt them” Wayne.

Like literally fuck off. It’s not even just that. The whole Red Robin arc when Dick is just “wow my brother is having a really hard time. I’m gonna call him crazy, take away the thing that’s been helping him to stabilize and give it to someone who tried to kill him multiple times and is consistently verbally abusive towards him. That will be really good for him.”

Literally what the fuck. Don’t even get me started about tarantula or Damian dying or any interaction between Bruce and Jason.

Like I’m just so fucking tired of this company peddling media about how it’s normal and right to forgive people who habitually abuse you. How it normalizes unsafe and unstable relationships between men.

And a huge part of this is because they just write this shit for shock value. Like what horrible thing can we run these characters through and never talk about ever again just so people will talk about it. Remember that like 3 comic long shit show of Dick getting brainwashed by the fucking Joker? Like it’s literally Dick beating the shit out of his brothers and being like I don’t know you and I don’t care and then it’s just like haha back to normal everything is great now.

I fucking hate it. It’s bad writing, it’s an irresponsible narrative about how trauma effects men and I’m just tired.

I really do like the fandom too. I think DC fans have created a lot of safe spaces for queer people, people of color and people with disabilities. But so much of what the fandom runs on is just so far from canon. I know tons of people irl who have never read a release post new 52. And I know some people who have never read a DC comic period cause they saw a glimpse of the toxic waste in there and noped out.

Like I know I’m just some guy on the internet but seriously if your canon comic material is so bad that a very large portion of you fanbase feel they can’t read it or would rather write there own story that just completely changed your characters you need to take a long look at what you are producing. Dick maybe being bi in Gotham Knights is cool. The rep for a character that has been coded as queer for a very long time is cool. But representation is in fact second to writing a good story and having good characters and DC is failing spectacularly at both right now.

[yeetus-feetus]

the only one who can defeat the joker is another joker.

Batman's efforts against joker are pointless because he's playing into exactly what joker wants and expects from him. Joker sets up elaborate unpredictable traps and Batman always comes in dark and brooding and serious- and that's just it. Batman's playing the game, he's falling for it everytime. The push and pull, the theatrical dramatics.

But if another joker were to go against joker, well. Jokers is unpredictable, not even the joker can predict what he'll do next. And it would certainly bum him out and piss him off to be faced with a mirror version of himself. It would throw him off his game. There is no game anymore, only chaos. And we'll, joker's not against using guns is he? So the more prepared Joker, the mirror version, would win.

I can't see them teaming up, though they might try. They would get on each other's nerves quickly, because Joker thinks he's the best at what he does and the competition would drive him to want to get rid of his double. He can't have anyone outdoing him can he?

And obviously there's only room for one Joker when it comes to his dear Batsy. He'd get jealous real fast.

Boom. Joker's dead, outplayed and smeared across Gotham's streets, and you can send the mirror version back to his dimension.

Then, without Joker, Batman can finally retire and we can finally finally start focusing on the new generation of vigilantes and heroes.

Batman can't be around forever, and it's time for people like Cassandra and Damian to get the spotlight.

I mean, Batman's not even really Batman anymore. He's not what he used to be. We all know that.

[not-timdrake]

im gonna kill the joker I’m so sick of this fucking fake clown

just because you have makeup on doesn’t make you a clown literally jump off a bridge before I push you off one

[kristinbayleigh]

I never realized how much Jason looks like Bruce in the old comics.

If I were to see them standing side by side in public I would think they are biological father and son.

Also I don’t care what anyone says Bruce genuinely cares for these kids,and he can’t help if the writers do him dirty. Just look how proud he looks of Jaybird.

Also as an added little bonus!

And on that note all I can say is disrespectfully fuck the joker and fuck sheila for letting her son get beaten half to death with a crowbar