#depending on if Bernard is there then him too

[luffyrose]

ok, so a prompt for you to possibly expand on if you happen to see this. dp x dc the ‘this is mah grave. wand me to make you one too?’ scene from the owl house.

Ooo! I actually really really like this prompt! Thank you for the idea (*｀ ▽ ´)_旦~~

I see this as Danny(obviously) trying to prevent himself from breaking down. Like, his trauma response has fully gone to "make jokes and don't show others anything". So somehow, his parents find out and are not very happy to learn their son is a ghost, even if only a half one. Except, he never told them, they FINALLY pieced it together after years, so Maddie started to form a plan.

With a seemingly impromptu vacation, which already has Danny suspicious because his usually carefree parents temporarily closed the portal for it, they end up in some nowhere location. Jazz is trying to be hopeful and everything, but on the third night of camping, everything hits the fan.

His parents waited until he was asleep to get him, and he barely managed to get away hours later once Jazz woke up and saw what they were doing. So he's injured, lost, and only just realizing that he has no way back to the Ghost Zone unless he goes to Vlad. And going to Vlad is a big no since he's barely able to fly right now.

Coincidentally, part of Tim's YJL team is on a mission in that area, and it has gone very poorly. Their communication within the past three days has completely bugged out as well (I wonder why *cough cough* ghost kid *cough*). Either way, his team is stranded and currently separated.

Tim and Kon, because I say he went with the team out of boredom and is kinda glad he did even if he's weakened due to some kryptonite the enemy had, are the ones to stumble upon Danny. He'd collapsed after running for a good while, then to keep his mind from thinking about everything that happened, had started to just dig, just do something with his hands.

Looking at the heavily injured, definitely meta, teen before them, Tim cautiously asks if he's alright and what he's doing. (Cue this is mah grave scene). Both other heroes are even more worried and take Danny with them after patching him up. Danny was gonna fight it since they'd been in danger but hey, they literally swept him off his feet and he was tired!

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 297

“I feel like we should be concerned about Tim.” 

“Honestly we should always be concerned about him, but what made you realize it this time?” 

“Have you seen his search history- wait no you haven’t you haven’t been in the cave all day, look at this-”

“...'Is it legal to adopt the ghost of a kid? Can someone call CPS on a family’s ghost? How to take care of ghosts 101? How do you get a ghost of a child to not be scared? What to do if you find ghost children in your home? What the fuck…?” 

“Exactly, I think he needs an intervention.” 

Or in other words, after getting thrown into another dimension thanks to the GIW destroying most of Amity, a trio of ghost children decide to crash in this seemingly abandoned apartment building. No one seems to live here anyway… Tim Drake on the other hand, gets a notification that there’s someone in his main safehouse that he might’ve slightly forgotten about thanks to having his house-boat now, and sees a trio of starved looking ghost kids

[ditzybat]

i love the headcannon that both tim and cass look scarily alike, to the point they could be twins.

like they both share the same general lithe build, they’re the same short height, cass has a short bob while tim has his baby mullet, their training is similar due to their backgrounds with lady shiva and the loa, and (depending on your headcanon) both waisan- so i can definitely see instances where they’re confused for each other or where they mess with everyone around them.

cass on patrol in red robin gear so tim can go on a date with bernard:

random thugs seconds away from being one hit k.o’d: yo since when did red robin start melting into the shadows like an eldritch horror?

jason: hey tim -

cass: wrong.

jason: no, im pretty sure you’re tim, i gave you that scar right there in your neck

cass: nu-uh, this is from cain

jason:

cass:

jason: well this got awkward…

steph hugging tim from behind: hey babe

tim: wrong wayne

steph: ew, i should’ve known, your ass isnt nearly as —

tim walking away with his fingers in his ears: lalalalala im not listening to you

damian: i think you’re the only one in this family i respect

tim who has been silently hanging out with him for the past 3 hours: aw thanks damian, i’ve come to love you like a brother too

damian: drake? i thought you were cassandra, my apologies, i retract my previous statement

tim: don’t care, you love me, don’t try to deny it

lady shiva hugging both tim and cass: my beautiful twins, such well trained weapons, unfortunate that you both ended up with cain

bruce pulling his children back: tim isnt yours…

shiva: well that cant be right, he’s s the spitting image of my sister carolyn, and that birth was far too painful to only produce one small child

tim: woah full circle, my drag-sona is called caroline, maybe you are my mom, i wouldn’t put it past janet drake to adopt

bruce: tim no, you’re not even the same type of asian

cass: too late, we’re blood

shiva: see!

[im-sleepdeprived]

Can you write something about co-workers to friends to lovers?

fix you up

pairing: peter parker x reader

a/n: i won’t lie to y’all idk how i feel abt this one. its cute dgmw but i hope you guys like it !!! ive had this request for an EMBARRASSINGLY long time, anon if you’re upset, i totally understand

warnings: mentions of injuries, burns, rude customers, bandaging some wounds n stuff, fluff and pining !!! (disclaimer: I’ve never been a barista so forgive me if this is a lil off)

masterlist, requests are open !!

Working in a rustic-vintage-corner-campus-cafe was definitely not how you saw your college years going. Your teen self would’ve killed to work at a place like this but when you grew up, you realized just how different the workload is between a high school student and a uni one such as yourself. 

You weren’t complaining of course. The pay was adequate, your manager was a simple old lady who never had much to say other than making sure all the equipment was clean, you got along with your coworkers pretty well for the most part and the customers were tolerable. 

But every once in a while, you’d get an entitled shithead who seemed to make it their life’s mission to ruin someone else’s day. And the problem with working a social job such as you did, is that you were an easy target. 

It started off as a fairly simple day, you clocked in and put on your apron ready to start your shift for the day. You preferred late morning shifts, leaving afternoons for classes (and the rouge 8am lecture every now and then) and nights for going out or studying. 

“Oh, Y/N! Thank god you're here,” Your co-worker, Vanessa, exclaimed.

Vanessa was a few years older than you. She actually wasn’t a student, she’d given college a try and it wasn’t her thing. Apparently, all it did was “try to undermine unstoppable greatness.” She was chatty, but you actually liked that about her. She could keep up a conversation with a statue. When you first started off here she’d been the one to show you the ropes and ever since then, you’d had a specific bond with her that you couldn’t really put a name to.

You gave her a small smile, “Yeah well, I do prefer to show up when promised. Especially when my paycheck depends on it,” you let out a small laugh.

“Yes! See, that's what I love about you,” she made a disgusted face, “Unlike Peter. Honestly, I don't understand how he hasn’t been fired yet! He shows up at least half an hour late to every shift yet Miss Hannigan still keeps him around.”

“Oh,” you stuttered, raising your hands a little in defense, “I didn't mean it as a jab at Peter, I swear.”

She tossed a curled blonde lock of hair over her shoulders while waving her other hand in dismissal, “Honey, don’t worry about it. I know you would never, you’re far too sweet for that. But I wouldn’t blame you if you did, you know, having to work more than half your shift alone? I swear if Bernard did that to me,” she made a big show of gesturing to herself, "I would not deal with it.”

While what she was saying wasn’t necessarily wrong, it didn’t feel right talking about Peter like that. Sure, he was late most of the time, leaving you to do most of the work while you waited for him to show up (somehow when he started working you two got the same shift together and it’s just been that way ever since) and while you, also, normally wouldn’t put up with this, there was something different about Peter. You never felt like he was taking advantage of you, and purposefully made you pick up extra slack. It was quite the opposite actually, he always apologized profusely and never slacked when he was on the clock. He always seemed so rushed and out of breath, you were pretty sure the poor boy just needed to learn how to manage time better. Plus, he always took it upon himself to unpack the orders because of all the heavy lifting required (you couldn’t tell just by looking at him, with all the sweaters he wore, but man was he ripped.)

“He’s actually really sweet.” You’re not sure why exactly you’re so keen on defending Peter. You two barely spoke, outside of work of course, and you don’t know much about him. But something inside you didn’t like anyone assuming anything bad about him. 

“Yea, well, he’d be a ton sweeter if he clocked in on time,” she laughed as she untied her apron, getting ready to leave. You faked a laugh as well, not wanting the conversation to progress any further. 

“Alrighty, well,” she heaved a breath, “I'm off, have a good rest of your day Y/N.”

You smiled once again and sent a wave her way before settling down in front of the register. It was slow today, not many people in the shop. A fellow student you only recognized from work sat in a corner booth with their headphones locked in and was working on what seemed to be some kind of essay. 

There was an older woman, however, looking incredibly irritated at the table closest to you. You’d never seen her before but that wasn’t too strange. It was a near-campus cafe, after all, lots of people passing through. She looked to be typing on her phone until, suddenly, she shut it off and made direct eye contact with you. 

If looks could kill, you would’ve dropped dead behind the counter, which wouldn’t be all that ideal considering you couldn’t remember the last time anyone mopped that side of the store. 

She stood up and walked towards you and you already dreaded the conversation to come.

“I have an order,” she spit out, as if she were disgusted to even be talking to you at the moment. 

No greeting or anything, wow. Someone wasn’t raised right. 

Nonetheless, you put on your well-rehearsed customer service smile and gave in. “Sure, I’d be happy to help with that. Can you just give me the order?”

She rolled her eyes dramatically. “I shouldn’t have to, I called in and placed it and it should be ready by now. I'm going to be late!”

You froze for a moment, not quite sure what to do, “I’m so sorry for the inconvenience ma’am, but I just got here and I haven’t heard anything,” you glance at the little whiteboard kept on the counter for these exact situations only to find it empty, “and I don’t see anything here about a phone-placed order. Are you sure you have the right store?”

Her face was so red and steam was practically blowing out of her ears, “Of course, I have the right store! Do you think I'm stupid or something?”

“No! Of course not, I'm so sorry,” you start to blabber off, not wanting to make her any angrier than she already was, “I’ll get things ready for you right away ma’am.”

You turned around and tried to make yourself not freak out as badly as you wanted to. It was so humiliating getting yelled at like this in public! And yeah, maybe if you had such a problem with unpleasant interactions like this, you shouldn't have taken a social job such as this one, but honestly, you thought people would have enough manners not to act up like this. Apparently not. 

It slipped your mind for a moment because of how scrambled you got when the lady flipped her lid, but Vanessa has been known to do this, forget to write down orders and leave you to fend for yourself (quite literally since your coworker was never really around) and you’re pretty sure that’s what happened here. Other customers were usually more understanding than this woman bordering on Kathy-Bates-movie-character-insanity over a drink order. 

You reached into your back pocket, deciding you’d try to send her a hurried text about any phone calls she might remember. That just seemed to anger your customer more.

“Excuse me?! I'm sitting here waiting for my order and you're too busy chatting away on your phone?”

You lose yourself for a moment and you can’t feel your face anymore. 

“I am so sorry ma’am,” you repeat, which seems to be your mantra since you started working today, “I was just checking to see if-,”

“I don't care what you were checking, or what you need to see! Give me what I paid for,” her hand started smacking against the counter loud enough for the only other person in the store to look up, broken from their reverie. They merely shot you an apologetic look before getting back to their work, leaving you to fend for yourself.

“You have terrible customer service, honestly. I come here every Tuesday with my book club, but never again. If I don’t get exactly what I asked for in the next five minutes, I'm calling your boss and not leaving until I'm sure you’re fired.” 

You shake your head, “There’s no need to do that ma’am, I'll get everything ready for you.”

You turned around once again, this time, heading towards the cappuccino machine. You’re not sure why you said that considering you have no clue what ‘everything’ is that has to get ready. 

In all honesty, there’s a low chance that a suburban-white-soccer-mom type would have any real effect on your employment. Miss Hannigan would surely not fire you just because some order forgot to be written down and some customer got pissed. Right?

But you really didn’t want to find out. 

So, you started up the machine and turned to grab a cup. Today, apparently, was just doomed from the start. As you turned to grab one of the cups placed on the shelf over the machine, your hand hit the button that turned on the steam wand. Which was aimed directly at your other hand. 

You bit down the yelp that threatened to escape and jumped back, the back of your hand now searing with pain. Instinctively, your other hand came to cup your injured one, which only made it worse. You fought back tears as you moved to turn the steam back off. 

Inhaling deeply, you took a moment to try to get your mind working again. “Hello?!” Of course. You turned your head and gave her the fakest smile you’ve ever mustered in your whole life. “One minute ma’am.”

You could hear her going off about how she doesn’t have a minute to spare, but you ignored her, trying to think of what the hell you could give her to just get her out of your face. You’d have to guess her order since I wasn’t actually taken. You’d started playing a game with yourself since you worked here, guessing people's drink orders, and you’d say you’ve gotten pretty good. 

You peeked a look back at her. You’d had customers around her age come in before and order, for the most part, the same thing. A plain cappuccino. Seemed like a safe bet.

Swallowing down the pain as best you could, you approached the machine again. This time, taking out the portafilter. It must’ve not been put in correctly because it clattered to the ground, coffee grinds falling around the floor. 

You wanted to cry. Your hand hurt like hell, there was a new mess to deal with, and that lady hadn’t stopped complaining since you stepped in. 

Frozen, you began to panic a little, breaths coming out sporadically. You’d leave the sweeping for later, but you had to clean the filter so you could use it because it was the only one. And the slightest brush of air made your hand burn even more. You had no clue how to go about this. Maybe if you-

Like an angel, Peter rushed in through the side door. Tying his apron around his waist, he looked towards you. Your hand flew up to your mouth at his perfect timing and you saw his expression grow more concerned. 

He rushed towards you. “What happened?” And for a second, you forget everything that was stressing you out just a few moments before. He grabbed your hand so gently, you forgot every ounce of pain. 

“I cannot believe this!” She wasn’t giving up and you shut your eyes in frustration, turning to reply to her again. But before you can open your mouth, Peter steps in. “Hold on, can’t you clearly see she’s hurt?”

She scoffed and crossed her arms, “That’s her fault. If she knew how to do her job, it wouldn’t have happened.”

You could feel the anger rolling off him in waves. His expression hardened and his mouth opened to shoot something back at her, but this time, you cut him off. You placed your non-injured hand on his shoulder and gave him a look. 

He stared at you for a few seconds before finally giving in, blowing out some air in a frustrated huff. “Go wait for me inside,” he told you, nodding his head toward the employees-only backroom. 

“What?” You asked confused. You didn’t wanna leave him alone. 

“You’re not working right now, there’s no way I’m letting you. I’ll deal with her. Go, I’ll be right there,” he said, shoving you away gently.

Once you heard that he’d be following you, you were more willing. You walked through the door and took a seat at the table usually used for meal breaks. The ‘break room’ was a small room positioned in the back of the store. You can’t remember what this place used to be (a diner maybe?) but this specific room was used as an office, but Miss Hannigan claimed she had no use for an office so it was used for employee breaks. 

Every ounce of you was grateful for Peter’s Superman moment back there. He came in today earlier than usual and he’d totally saved your ass. You were going to make sure to tell him. 

You weren’t waiting long before the door opened again and Peter walked in, holding a backpack you hadn’t seen on him before. In his other hand, he held a drink. He placed the drink on the table before he grabbed one of the chairs, bringing it close to yours, and you turned your body to face him. 

He picked up your hand again, just as gently as before. “Alright,” he let out a breath of relief, “it’s not as bad as I thought, but, it’s still gonna take a while to heal. Wait,” he leaned over, unzipping his bag and taking supplies out while you just stared at him.

“I thought you majored in biochemistry.” You blurted out. Your face heated up a little when he looked at you curiously.

“I- I saw your textbooks once when you left your bag open. And I’ve seen you around campus, near the science-y buildings…and stuff.” You shrugged and he chuckled. 

“I do,” he nodded, “any medical stuff is self-taught. I get into a lot of…accidents.”

“Oh.” You nodded at him. What kind of accidents would he get into? You’d never seen him hurt, but what did you know. 

“I take it you don’t major in anything science-y,” he said, grinning at you.

You shook your head, “No, I don’t. But I have a chemistry class I have to take for credit. Which makes no sense because chemistry has nothing to do with what I want to learn.”

He laughed and set his bag back down, everything he needed was now laid out on the table. “Okay,” he picked up a white tube with red lettering on it. “This is gonna help with pain and scarring. I’m going to spread some of this, then wrap it up for you.” You looked at the table and saw he’d also taken out some white gauze. What kind of ‘accidents’ did he get into?

You nodded, at a complete loss for words. You had no idea Peter knew so much about injuries and you were so thankful he was helping you out. You didn’t hate each other, but you weren’t close either.

He applied a small amount to the back of your hand, asking you constantly if you were okay as he rubbed it on softly. Honestly, even if it did hurt, you wouldn’t have the heart to tell him.

He finished up with the cream and moved onto the gauze, expertly wrapping it up to lightly cover your wound. When he was finished with that, he carefully tied it off, making sure not to tie it too tight.

“There,” he leaned back and smiled at you, causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach. “All fixed up.”

 “Thank you, Peter, really.” You reluctantly pulled your hand back into your lap, missing the warmth of his fingers wrapped around it.

“You don’t need to thank me Y/N, it’s the least I could do. I’m just glad I got here earlier than usual.”

You nodded and looked down. “Well thanks anyway, you saved my ass back there. Seriously, I have no idea what’s wrong with me today but I kept fucking everything up.”

“Hey,” he said softly, making you look up and meet his gaze. “You didn’t fuck anything up. Okay? You made a few mistakes, but that's not your fault. She shouldn’t have been treating you like that, especially when you’d hurt yourself.” He looked away and scoffed as he remembered the terrible customer that had ruined your morning. You would’ve felt extremely touched by his care if it weren’t for his next words.

“All that for a plain fucking cappuccino.” He mumbled.

“A plain cappuccino? Really?” You asked excitedly, forgetting about everything, and grinning at him wildly. 

“Um, yeah…why?” He asked you, confusion was written all over his face, but he couldn’t help his own smile slightly growing when he noticed your enthusiasm.

“Nothing,” you shook your head quickly, smile never fading, “I just…well, I play this game with myself where I guess people's drink orders. And I think I’m getting pretty good because that’s exactly what I was going to make her before you walked in.”

He laughed out loud and you joined in. “What’s my order?” He asked. 

You paused for a moment. “A caramel macchiato with extra caramel.”

He looked at you for a bit, “Close,” he admitted. “It used to be.”

“So are you gonna tell me what it is now?”

Shaking his head, he leaned over the table and dragged the drink he’d brought in earlier in front of you. “Here,” he changed the subject, “I made you this.”

You’d completely forgotten about it, and when you took a closer look, you realized it was your coffee order. 

Your mouth fell open, “How’d you know?”

He just shrugged, smiling slightly. He knew it was your favorite, but the confirmation was still nice. “I've seen you make it for yourself. Educated guess.”

“Oh my god,” you said, voice soft. It was a simple thing really, you had one most days at the end of your shift. But the fact that he’d noticed… It just meant a lot. “Thank you so much, Peter.”

He just waved you off, his smile growing when he noticed your reaction to the drink. He couldn’t believe he got a chance to speak to you. Truly speak to you. He was always too awkward or embarrassed or trying to avoid embarrassment. But now, while he didn’t like the circumstances that led you both here, he was actually talking to you. And it was nice.

“So,” he started, not wanting this to end just yet, “you said you’ve got a chemistry class?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, picking up your drink and taking a sip. “The one with Professor Hall. I actually have a class after this shift. I totally suck though, and he hates me. I just don’t get it, and he doesn’t explain it well!”

Peter nodded, completely understanding what you meant. It was a tough subject to begin with, and he knew not everyone was as into science as he was, add onto that a teacher who doesn’t really teach, it’s a recipe for disaster. 

“I actually had that class. Last year. I can help you, sometimes. If you’d like me to, that is!” He rushed out. Great, he thought, now I’m getting awkward. 

You looked up at him, eyes wide. “Really? Do you mean that?”

“Of course. I think I’ve still got my notes too, if you want ‘em.” He shrugged nonchalantly as if he wasn’t saving your ass again. 

“Oh my god Peter,” you placed your non-injured hand on his knee, not noticing the way his body stiffened and he gulped. “That would help so much. There’s a huge exam coming up, and it's a huge part of my grade so I have to pass. I started cramming earlier but—”

“I’ll help,” he reassured you, “I enjoy science anyway, so it’ll be fun for me.”

“Thank you,” you repeated. Staring at him so close, you realized you’d never noticed how handsome he was. Sure there were times you thought he was cute, from afar, but now…you could see the different shades of brown in his eyes, the way one of his eyebrows was slightly curlier than the other, unwilling to sit straight. You couldn’t help but stare-

“Oh my god,” you repeated, except this time, you had remembered something. “If we’re both in here, who’s outside?”

“What? Oh, um,” he scratched the back of his neck, still reeling from having you so close to him. “Freddy’s out there?”

“Freddy?” You asked confused. 

He nodded. “The guy writing on his laptop, he’s friends with my roommate, throws the craziest parties. He’s chill, I told him to keep an eye out if someone else walks in. But it’s been slow, so I think we’re good.”

“Oh, okay.” You said, standing up. “We should probably still go though.”

He stood up beside you, frowning. “I don’t think you should work with your hand hurt. I don’t want you accidentally making it worse.”

Your heart warmed at his concern. “That's really sweet Peter, but I’ll be fine. I don’t know what happened before, I never do stuff like that, even accidentally.”

He still didn’t look convinced. “Why don’t you just go home? I can take it for today.”

You shook your head quickly, “I’m not leaving. I have a class later and it would just be a waste of time going back and forth anyway.”

You walked towards the door, opened it, and exited before he had a chance to argue anymore. You stepped behind the counter while Peter rushed out behind you. You watched Freddy give him a thumbs up and Peter nodded at him before he followed right after you. 

“Are you sure you should go to class today? I can walk you home so you can take the day off,” he offered, and he looked so genuine you almost accepted. 

“Peter,” you laughed and he decided no matter what your response was, it wouldn’t matter because hearing you say his name like that was enough. “I’ll be fine, I didn’t break both my legs, it's just a small burn.”

He stared at you for a bit as you smiled at him, trying to get him to ease up. “Fine,” he gave in reluctantly. “But no going towards the cappuccino machine,” he waved a finger at you, “or the ovens. Or anything hot!”

“Fine,” you shot back, grinning wide and he couldn’t help but return it.

The rest of the morning had gone by easily and you thought maybe you didn’t have totally shit luck. Peter was way more fun than you ever thought he’d be and you wondered why you didn’t start talking to each other sooner. 

It used to be silently working together but after those few moments in the break room, you guys were laughing your whole shift. He meant what he said, and he kept you away from anything that produced heat (which you told him was an insane boundary to set in a cafe) so you had extra time to make quips here and there.

You started playing your order-guessing game with him, teaching him certain traits that gave someone away:

“Side part, beanie, and a crossbody? Oh, he’s getting a tall, dark, americano for sure.”

“She’s getting tea. No coffee, just tea. Maybe with a little lemon wedge.”

And he started to get the hang of it. 

“She looks like she drinks matchas right?” He said to you when a girl around your age walked in. He’d been right and you both laughed about it afterwards. 

When your work shift ended, you were actually upset. 

“I’ve got a class to get to,” you told him, lifting your bag onto your shoulder. You’d both cleaned up and gotten yourselves ready, now standing in front of the door. Something in you didn’t want to leave just yet, enjoying your time together far too much to end it so soon. 

“Yeah…” he trailed off, you waited for him to continue but he hesitated. 

“What is it?” You crossed your arms and smiled slightly, shifting your weight onto your other foot. He brought a hand up to scratch the back of his neck, “I just…well, I was just wondering—if it's okay with you of course!” He rushed out, quickly bringing his hands up. “That I could walk you to class?”

You laughed, “I’d love that Pete, thank you.” You turned to open the door to let you both out but he quickly moved forward, holding it open for you and motioning for you to move forward. 

Looking back at him, you smiled and noticed his cheeks were a little red. How had you never noticed how adorable he was?

The walk back to campus wasn’t long but you learned a lot. He told you where he went to high school, his friends he still kept in touch with, his Aunt May, some funny moments from parties he’d been forced to attend by his roommate, and you laughed together.

You told him about the book you were currently reading, your life back home and your family, and why you chose to go to this college. He went along with your jokes, which made it all the more better for you. “I mean if you think about it,” you'd said, “it is so much easier to romanticize your life  when your school campus is as pretty as this one, and that’s real motivation!”

The conversation flowed naturally between you two and it felt like you’d been friends for ages. He dropped you off outside of your class building with the promise of picking you up afterward so you two could study together. 

“So I’ll be back here in an hour right,” he asked. 

“Right,” you smiled at him. “And thanks again Pete, for everything.” You held up your bandaged hand, shaking it a little before setting it back down. 

He shook his head quickly, “Don’t thank me for that. Really.”

You stared at him with a warm expression. “Bye Peter,” you waved as you turned to walk into your class.

“Bye Y/N,” he returned. He watched you walk through the doors, shooting him one last smile before you disappeared from view, before blowing out a breath of air. 

He’d finally gotten a chance to talk to the girl he’d been crushing on for months, and he got to walk her to class! And they were meeting up afterward. After working so close to you and never having the guts to initiate a conversation, he’d settled for just admiring you from afar. But after today, there was nothing that could keep him away. 

You were not having a good day. 

You’d just found out that your chemistry exam was being bumped up to two days from now. Even with the early studying you’d done before, there was no way you could catch up with everything that fast. You were so overwhelmed you had completely forgotten Peter was waiting for you outside. 

You walked out, your bottom lip stuck between your teeth, and you practically jumped out of your skin when someone placed a hand on your shoulder. 

“Hey, don’t worry,” he said, his voice soft yet full of concern. Peter. “It's just me. What happened?”

The second he saw you walk out, he could tell something was off. He could literally sense the anxiety rolling off of you in waves. He had waited for you to look up and stop when you saw him, but you were just about to walk past him before he stopped you. Now, you were looking at him with distress coating every feature on your face. Your brows were pinched, your lip red from biting it, and your eyes wide and distant like you couldn’t even see him and he was standing right in front of you. Something had gone wrong and he wanted nothing more than to fix it. 

“What is it? What’s wrong? He asked frantically. 

“Oh my god,” you whispered, hands flying up to the sides of your head and gripping your hair. You weren’t looking at him anymore, “Oh my god.”

“Ok Y/N,” he said nervously, “you’re starting to scare me.”

“Two days Peter!” You looked at him wildly. “Two days! I can’t go over everything in two days, is he fucking insane? I didn’t even know he could do something like that, I mean, can he do something like that? I feel like that shouldn’t be allowed it should—”

You cut yourself off and started pacing back and forth in front of him. “Oh my god, I’m gonna bomb this. And if I fail, it’ll bring my whole grade down! I can’t afford that I—”

“Hey,” he repeated, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder again. “I said I’m gonna help you, and I meant it. So we’re gonna get through this together, even if we have to stay up all night.”

You stared at him, trying to wonder what you’d done in your life to deserve such an angel. 

You shook your head quickly, “I really appreciate that Peter, but I’m serious. There’s no way I can learn everything I need to know that fast.”

You tried to smile at him but it didn’t reach your eyes. 

He grinned, his expression the total opposite of yours. “Well, you’ve clearly never studied with me, so don’t sound too sure yet.”

Another thing you’d come to realize was just how smart Peter was. 

You really should’ve known when he told you he’d taken that advanced chemistry class a year ago. And passed. 

Looking through his notes, you could see his attention to detail. He really wasn’t a slacker in the classroom because everything was clearly laid out here. 

You’d spent that night going over everything and you’d actually started to feel hopeful about it. Peter was a way better teacher than Professor Hall, and it didn’t hurt that he was so cute. He was understanding with everything and was willing to go over any part for as long as it took for you to fully grasp it. 

At the end of the night, he’d undone the wrappings around your hand, reapplied the cream for you, and wrapped it up again.

“It’s doing okay,” he reassured you. “Like I said, it’s gonna take a while, but if it starts hurting or anything, take some medicine. Then find me.”

You were sure you’d just melted into his hands at that moment.

The next day, you couldn’t wait to get through everything and see him again, even if you were going to be talking about chemistry. 

You weren’t scheduled to work at the cafe today, so you’d only get to meet up after both of your classes. 

Lectures were a blur, nothing really catching your attention and you spent most of the time with your phone tucked in your hand texting back and forth with Peter, barely concealing your laughter when he sent you memes. 

It was like that all day, until, finally, you made your way over to his small apartment he shared with one of his friends. 

its very quaint 🤌

(totally NOT what we say to make ourselves feel better about this shoebox)

He’d told you over text, making you laugh out loud as you made your way over there. 

dw🫡 I was one of those kids who used to live in their play tents and hid in random corners and spaces

im totally ready for this

ok but be warned, we do not have a pet!!! they are not allowed per our lease!!! ignore the cat when you come in!!! tell no one!!!

what cat ??

good girl ;)

Your face flushed as you made your way up the steps to his door. You knocked three times and barely had to wait a second before Peter stood before you, holding the door open. 

“Hi,” he said, smiling at you. 

“Hi,” you grinned back. You heard a small ‘meow’ come from behind him and he quickly held up a finger to his lips. You covered your mouth, stifling a laugh as you nodded at him. 

“Come on in,” he said, stepping out of the way to lead you through the door. You stepped in and kicked off your shoes before looking around. It was plain, but that was to be expected really. 

There was a large poster hanging next to their TV, however, that caught your eye. “Big fan?” You asked him, shoving your thumb in the direction of the Star Wars poster. 

He shrugged nonchalantly, “Kind of.”

“Oh. Well, I was just asking because I love those movies. My little brother used to watch them and I got really into it.”

“Oh. I mean—I don’t know what I was saying before I love them too.” He rushed out, making you giggle.

He stayed staring at you for a bit, his eyes rounding out and his mouth gaping a little bit. 

You gave him a small smile, “Okay, well we should-” You let out a small yelp, hands flying to your mouth as you jumped back. 

The living room was small. The only things occupying it were the TV mounted to the wall, and in front of it, was a sofa. And on the sofa, was an unconscious body that you hadn’t noticed until it let out a low groan. You really weren’t sure how you missed it, there wasn’t much else to look at, but they had just been so still. 

Heart beating erratically, you turned towards Peter again, who was looking at you with all the amusement in the world written all over his face. “Was he always there,” you whispered, eyes wide.

He opened his arms, “Well, angel, I really don’t know. Did you see anyone come in?”

“Oh shut up,” you grumbled. “He looks familiar…is that..”

“Freddy.” He finished for you. Right. The dude from the cafe. 

“He crashes here sometimes.” He added.

You nodded. “Alright.”

“Shall we?” He opened a door beside him and looked at you. 

“Right. Yeah, of course.” You walked past him and into his room. You stopped after you entered, taking a moment to look around. His room was simple, with just his bed, a desk and chair, and a dresser perched next to another door you assumed was his closet. 

What really caught your attention, however, were the photos scattered all over the walls. The room was practically engulfed in Peter Parker’s memories, and you really liked it. Without thinking, you approached one wall, walking through them and taking each one in. 

There were some with large groups of people, those looked like school trips. Most of the photos were of the same two people, and based on what he’d told you, you assumed those were his friends. Ned and MJ. 

A lot of the photos contained an older woman, who looked stunning. That had to be his Aunt May. You were shocked by how many photos he had with the Tony Stark. He’d told you he had an internship at Stark Industries, but really, you sorta thought he just went on coffee runs all day. 

And then, you saw a couple shots of Spider-Man. It wasn’t unusual, you knew a lot of people snapped photos of the masked hero when they spotted him around the city. What was unusual, was the quality of the photos. You didn’t know if you’d ever seen such clear photos of him, even on the news, as he was always swinging and in motion. In these, Peter seemed to have caught him at just the right time. You wondered how long it took him to capture the photos.

“Big fan?” You smirked over at him from your spot by one of the Spider-Man photos as you repeated your words from earlier. 

Peter leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed, content with watching go over the details of his life. He felt a little naked, like he was bared out in front of you. But…it felt good too. He liked knowing you were learning new things about him, and curious to know more. It filled him with an anxious sort of giddiness.

“You first,” he said slyly.

Laughing, you said, “Well, I don’t see how anyone can hate on the guy. He literally runs around saving lives”

He laughed as he approached you, standing by your side. You’d be surprised. “True I guess.”

“We should get to studying,” you said, breezing past him, your hand brushing his bicep as you did. He sucked in a breath, his entire body feeling electrocuted after that one touch. He wondered how you seemed so normal, laying out your books and papers on the floor beside his bed. 

This was gonna be a long night. 

He cleared his throat and moved to sit across from you, hoping he didn’t look as flushed as he felt. 

After a few moments of him watching you get settled, you heard him start laughing. Looking up you asked, “What’s so funny?”

That only made him laugh harder. “Just thinking about how scared you got before. Did you really not see him?”

You felt your face go hot. “I didn’t! I had no clue he was there, and next thing I know he’s making lawn mower nosies!”

Peter was red in the face now. “The way you flew back,” he said between fits of laughter, “I thought you’d give yourself whiplash.”

“Shut up,” you grumbled at him, picking up one of your pens and throwing it at him. It bounced off without him even flinching. 

You looked down, avoiding his gaze by busying yourself with your papers. 

“Okay I’m ready to be serious now,” he said. The laughter was gone but amusement twinkled in his voice. 

“Great! Welcome back Pete, now hand me that pen, I’m gonna need it.”

Two hours later, you were both sprawled across the floor tossing Chess-Its at one another. 

“Come on!” You threw your arms up in defeat when you threw another cracker at him just for him to catch it again. 

Peter chuckled, “Sorry angel, I’ve just got killer reflexes.”

“Alright whatever,” You rolled your eyes. “Come on, throw some at me.”

You opened your mouth, ready to finally win one round of this nonsense…just for a Cheez-It to hit your cheek and fall to the ground with the rest of your tries. 

Peter laughed while you sat up, reached to grab the box of crackers, and poured some into your hand before putting it back down. 

“Okay, I’m done. I actually want to eat them now.” You said, munching on a cracker and sitting against the side of his bed. 

“Oh come on, don’t be a quitter Y/N/N,” he grinned, leaning over and pinching your cheek. 

You swatted his hand away with your empty one. “M’not.”

He smiled at you before sitting up. “Hit me,” he said, opening his mouth and pointing at it. 

You grabbed a Cheez-It from the palm of your hand and made a big show of trying to get your aim right. Squinting one eye, you stared at him, moving your hand back and forth before tossing it slightly more to the right. On purpose. 

That didn’t stop him from leaning over and catching it in his mouth. 

“I don’t like this game,” you said, narrowing your eyes at him. 

“Don’t act like I don’t know what you did,” he said back, munching on his Cheez-it. 

“Sue me,” you told him, brushing him off with a wave of your hand. 

He laughed before he settled down. “How’s your hand feeling by the way.” His voice was considerably softer now, making you smile softly at him. 

“It’s doing great, thank you again, Peter. I would’ve been totally fucked if it weren’t for you,” you told him honestly. 

He shook his head, “Don’t thank me at all Y/N. Hate seeing you hurt,” he mumbled, less to you and more to himself and he stayed staring at your wrapped-up hand. 

“Well don’t worry about that, it doesn’t hurt at all.”

“Yeah?” He looked at you suddenly, like he needed to know you meant it. 

“Yeah,” you nodded at him. 

“That’s good,” he breathed out and your heart squeezed at how much he seemed to care. 

“What's your plan? Y’know, for after school?” You didn’t want to leave just yet, even with your studying done. And you wanted to know more about him. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t taken a certain liking to him lately. 

“Well after I get my degree, I’m going move up a little further in Stark Industries. I’m still undecided on grad school, I think I’ve got everything I need and I’m probably just gonna start saving up to pay off student loans instead of adding on them.”

You nodded at him, “So the Stark internship is going well? No offense, I sort of thought you were their coffee mule.” You grinned at him before popping a Cheez-It in your mouth. 

He scoffed, “No, I’m not. I mean, it did take a while to get them to take me seriously, but I got there!”

You laughed, “Well, very proud of you Pete. That’s super impressive.”

He grinned at you, his face heating up at your words. He wondered if you knew how much it affected him every time you called him Pete. Probably not, but he never wanted you to stop. 

You two stayed like that for another hour or so, time passing by without you noticing at all. You talked about your futures, where you say yourselves after school, and after that. Your admiration for him only grew as you got to know him more. You could talk to him all night and never get bored honestly, you-

Shit. 

A random notification lit up your phone, which lay beside you on the floor, making you take notice of the time. 

You sat up quickly, spitting out curses as you started gathering your belongings and shoving them into your bag. 

Peter sat up as well, helping you get your things together but in a calmer manner than yourself. 

“Relax Y/N,” he said in a soothing voice. 

“Pete I can’t do it.” You turned to him suddenly, dropping everything in your hands. 

“Do what, angel?”

“The exam is tomorrow. I’m not ready! I’m gonna fail, and that one grade, that one stupid grade, is gonna hold me back and ruin everything-”

“Sweetheart look at me,” he said, placing a hand on your shoulder. His grip was warm and reassuring. “You are not going to fail. And I know this because I’ve spent the last few hours studying with you, and I saw how smart you are, and how quick you caught on. You’re gonna walk in there tomorrow and ace that test, I know you are!

“And if for some reason you don’t,” he continued, “you gave it your best. You tried your hardest and you learned something, which is all that matters in the end. So breathe, stop stressing, and let me walk you home.”

“All that talk as an excuse to ask to take me home?” You snorted, “Peter you shouldn’t have.” Despite your jokes, you took his advice and took a deep breath. He was right, you’d studied your hardest, both with and without his help. All you could do was take the exam and hope for the best now.

He laughed and stood up, holding out a hand once he saw you all packed and ready. “Caught me. So is that a yes?”

You took his hand and pulled yourself up but didn’t let go right away. “If I fail, do we have to stop hanging out? Y’know, with you being a science prodigy and all.”

He laughed again and placed both his hands on your shoulder, staring straight into your eyes. “Never.”

“Ok, well, just making sure. I wouldn’t wanna give you a bad rep in the science community or something-”

You were suddenly cut off from your babbling when he pressed his lips to yours. You froze for a second, unsure what to do, but it didn’t take long for you to catch up and kiss him back. 

He pulled away after a few moments, “Done with the jokes?” His voice was soft and teasing.

“Uh huh,” you mumbled, eyes still closed. “But I think you might need to do that again, just to be sure.”

He chuckled murmuring something that sounded like ‘too cute’ but you couldn’t be bothered to hear when you felt his lips on yours again, this time, expecting them. 

You threw your arms around his neck, pulling him closer and canting your head slightly for better access. He groaned, one arm wrapping around your middle, the other settling on your waist.

You might have pictured kissing him before, just maybe. But none of your daydreaming could’ve prepared you for the real thing. The way his bottom lip covered your top one, the soft breaths exchanged between the two of you, the way he pressed himself further into you when you tugged his hair a little harder. This definitely beat all of your daydreams. 

You could’ve stayed that way forever, and you probably would’ve if Peter hadn’t taken one for the team and pulled away first. 

Or tried to, at least. 

“We should-” kiss. 

“You-” kiss. 

“I need to walk,” kiss, “-you home angel.” He murmured against your lips.

“Okay,” you whispered back but you didn’t move to pull away, and he didn’t push you. The two of you stayed stuck, foreheads pressed together, eyes closed, taking in the atmosphere of each other. 

“I should probably go now,” you said softly. Peter hummed in agreement, leaning in to peck your lips gently. 

“It’s getting late,” but your voice is more of a sigh. You don’t know what he’s laced his lips with but each kiss makes you weak in the knees and woozier than the last one.

“God, d’yknow I’ve had the biggest crush on you.” He said, completely disregarding your previous statement. 

That stops you. “What?” You asked him in disbelief. Peter had a crush on you? No way, you would’ve known. 

“Yeah,” he chuckled lightly, “don’t act so shocked. I was always a stuttering mess at work whenever you so much as looked at me.”

True. But you’d just thought he was a bit more on the shy side. 

“I’d seen you around campus before and I thought you were the prettiest girl I’d ever seen, and I still do, but I thought I had no shot in hell with you. And when I got the job at the cafe and saw I’d be working with you? I almost lost my fucking mind sweetheart.” You both laughed a little and you couldn’t help the way your cheeks flamed up because of his words. Did he have any clue what he was doing to you right now?

“So I just sorta kept my distance, y’know? Admired you from afar ‘cause I was too scared you’d reject me. Sadly, it only took you nearly burning your hand off,” he gave you a look and you burst into giggles, him doing you and slightly pinching your waist, “for me to get over myself and actually keep up a conversation with you. But now I’ve got you in my room, kissing me.”

“Hmm,” you hummed, “lucky you.” You joked as leaned in to press another kiss to his lips. 

“Lucky me indeed,” he murmured before pulling you in even deeper. He dipped you, making you squeal into the kiss. Then he pulled you up, unable to keep the kiss going any longer with how hard he was grinning.

“Oh my god,” you said, laughing breathlessly. 

“A lot more where that came from,” he smirked at you. 

“You know,” you moved to pick up your bag, “for someone who was so scared to talk to me for so long, you sure found the confidence now.”

“What can I say? You make it easy. Once I started I couldn’t stop.” You smiled at him as he gently placed a hand on your arm leading you to the door. The living room was empty now, no one to be found on the couch or otherwise and you wondered where their cat had wandered off to.

You bent over to put on your shoes, Peter doing the same. He stepped forward and opened the door for you, letting you step out before following you and locking the door. 

As soon as he was done with that, you reached over and grabbed his hand. “Hey Petey?” You said lightly. Oh, he was going to melt. From now on, he only wanted you to call him that.

“Hm?”

“I’m glad you finally decided to talk to me.” 

He leaned down and kissed the top of your head. “Yeah? Me too angel.”

The next morning, you awoke in the brightest mood, considering you had a chemistry exam later that day. All you could think about was Peter. You were going to see him later at the cafe and you couldn’t wait. 

You leaned over in bed to pick up your phone. Speak of the devil. 

GOOD MORNINGGGGG❤️

hope you slept well angel, can’t wait to see you today. and you’re gonna totally ace that exam!🥰

seriously you’re going to kick chemistry’s butt

A huge smile bloomed on your face, almost hurting from how wide it was. Usually, you'd stay in bed for a while, scrolling through Instagram or just going through messages or something. Not today, you couldn’t wait to get to work. Maybe Peter was a good influence on you. 

After getting ready for the day, you made your way to the cafe with a little bounce in your steps. The bell jingled above you as you opened the door and for the first time since you’d started working together, Peter was here before you. 

“Hey,” he smiled, holding up your usual drink order and waving it at you. 

“Hi Pete,” you approached his, leaning up to press a kiss to his lips. As you pulled away, you could see how quickly his cheeks pinked, making you grin. 

“No ‘Petey’?”

“Didn’t know you had a preference,” you said, grabbing his hand and pulling it towards you as you took a sip from the drink and then moved to get dressed for your shift. 

“Yeah,” he scratched the back of his neck, wishing he could feel your hand on his for just a little longer, “neither did I.”

You laughed lightly as you tied your apron, the sound hitting him like the greatest melody in the world. 

“Okay then,” you walked towards him, stopping right in front of him, “let’s start over. Hi Petey.”

“Hi angel,” he gave you a dopey grin and you returned it. 

“Great, now that we’ve got that figured out.” You patted his chest lightly before taking the drink from his hands and moving away. 

“Hey wait! Where’s my kiss?” He pouted at you and he looked so adorable, you just wanted to pinch his cheeks and kiss him till he begged you to stop.

“We’re at work, we’ve gotta be professional.” You said matter-of-factly. 

He rolled his eyes, leaned against the counter, and crossed his arms. “Professional my ass, no one is even in here-,”

Before he could even close his mouth, the bell jingled, and in stepped a boy about your age. The boy moved to one of the chairs, not moving to order just yet, giving you the chance to smirk at Peter, who just rolled his eyes again. 

“What do you he’s gonna order,” he asked you.

“Hmm…a cookie, probably.” You moved lean against the counter across from him and took a sip of your drink as you smiled. 

“Hey wait, you never told me what your drink order is.”

“Hmm…” he hummed in consideration before he moved towards you, grabbing your hand with the drink and bringing it up to his lips to steal a sip, maintaining eye contact the whole time. 

“I’ve got to say,” he said in a low voice, “this one has really grown on me.”

You couldn’t look away, all you could do was stare. And stare, and stare, and stare…

A stranger’s voice, and then, “Hey, can I get one of those double chocolate chip cookies?”

You were just on cloud nine today. 

You had taken your exam and for the first time ever in that class, you had felt confident in your work. 

And to top it all off, after you’d handed in your paper and packed your things to leave, Professor Hall had given you a ‘well done’ nod. You! He’d never noticed you positively before. You were going to need to drown Peter in thank-you kisses for his help. 

Speaking of Peter, you couldn’t wait to see him. He told you he’d be waiting for you after your class but when you stepped outside, there was no sign of him. You decided to sit on the building steps and wait. He was probably just running a little late, no biggie. 

Big biggie. After 40 minutes of waiting for him, during which you’d sent him a little text and he hadn’t responded, you decided to head over to his place. 

The walk was short and your little buzz had worn off after not getting to share it with Peter. After all, you kind of owed him most of the credit. You arrived at his apartment door, and when you knocked, it wasn't Peter who answered. 

It's Freddy. 

You throw on a smile. “Hi Freddy, is Peter home?”

He returned your smile as he said, “‘Sup Y/N.” He held out his fist and you stared at it for a while before you got the hint and bumped it with your own. “Pete’s not home right now, but you can totally come in and wait for him.”

You found it funny that someone who didn’t live there was inviting you in to stay, but you accepted anyway. You also had no clue how he knew your name. 

You knew little about Freddy, but you knew he was sort of a campus celebrity. Every raging party there was, everyone knew Freddy was behind it. 

“So,” you said as you walked in, “what year are you in Freddy?”

“Ah nah, I’m done with that shit. I took the bar,” he said casually, waving a hand and moving to sit on the couch. He kicked his feet up on the large Amazon box being used as a coffee table and picked up the open beer sitting atop it. 

You stood in your place, clutching your bag. He was in grad school?

“Oh that’s awesome dude, did you not pass or something.”

“Uh uh,” he shook his head, taking a swig of beer, “got a 350.”

Your eyes widened. What. You didn’t know much about law school but you knew getting a score like that on the bar was not an easy thing. 

“Wait when’d you take it?” You asked confused. The bar exam wasn’t scheduled for a few months from now. 

“Last year.”

“Do you like…work at a firm or something?” It was insane to you that the party animal of this school had already graduated, and with an amazing score nonetheless. 

He shook his head, “Workin' on my music right now, and if that doesn’t work out,” he gave you a wicked grin, “well I’ve always got my law degree.”

You nodded, stunned. “That’s sick dude. Good luck,” you told him, waving as you moved to wait in Peter’s room. 

“Keep the door cracked kids,” he shouted towards you and you huffed a laugh as you entered the room and closed the door (leaving it open just an inch) before you sat at the foot of his bed. 

You looked around for a second, taking it all in. It’s amazing how he managed to take this small space and make it so him. 

After a few moments, you took out your phone to shoot him another text. 

But before you could finish typing it out, the window beside you started opening and you watched as the Spider-Man fell onto the bed, not noticing you gaping right next to him. 

You stayed silent, unsure of what to do or say until he moved to take his mask off. That got you moving and talking. 

“Holy fuck!” You basically shout, moving away, hands flying to your mouth. 

He seemed to be just as shocked as you were because he scrambled up from his lying position. And staring back at you was Peter Parker. 

“What are you doing here?” He asked you, eyes wide. It wasn’t till then that you noticed the paleness of his features, his face lacking that usually healthy glow it held, the waver in his voice, and the hand clutching his bloody side. 

“Holy fuck,” you repeated, voice lower, and for a whole different reason this time. “Shit Peter, you’re hurt.” You moved closer to him, temporarily forgetting everything else as your hand reached to gently remove his so you could take in the extent of his injuries. 

“It’s nothing,” he said but made no move to shove you away or stop you. You moved his hand and winced at the sight that greeted you, “Looks like a whole lot more than nothing babe.”

“I’ve had worse.”

You look up at him, frowning slightly, “Not exactly reassuring Petey.”

“I feel all better now,” he said, shooting you a charming grin as soon as he heard the nickname leave your mouth. “Add a kiss in the mix, and I’ll be good as new.”

You huffed a laugh, shoving his knee slightly, “Shut up Peter. I’m serious. I’m sure you’ve got some experience with stuff like this,” you wave a hand towards his suit and injury for emphasis and he gives you a quick nod. 

“Over there,” he pointed toward his dresser, “top shelf, under the blue sweater.”

You rushed over there, opening the drawer and spotting the sweater he mentioned. “I’m totally stealing that from you someday, this is your heads up,” you told him as you grabbed the large box and completely closed the door before you moved back to his side. 

“You can have anything of mine, Angel. I’m sure you’d look better in it anyway.” His words made you blush, but you tried to ignore them so you could focus on the task at hand. 

Peter, however, found that he really liked watching your cheeks pink up. And he wanted more. 

“Lean against the headboard, now.” You said, trying to be serious again. 

“God, at least buy me dinner first sweetheart.” He gave you the dorkiest smirk you’d ever seen. You just glared at him. “On the other hand,” he said as he moved backward to lean against his headboard, “I don’t need dinner, I’m all yours baby girl.”

This got you to laugh, “Peter, be serious! You’re bleeding out!” You moved to his side, “take this off by the way.” You gestured to his suit. 

He hit the middle emblem of a spider and you watched as it loosened up and fell off his shoulders. You had started pulling it the rest of the way down, gulping when you realized he wasn’t wearing anything else, when he mumbled, “Not a terrible way to go.”

You refused to look up and meet his eyes but he knew he got you. Thank god he was wearing underwear, you realized, and you threw the suit to the side after you’d completely shredded him of it. He was definitely going to need a new one. 

Now completely facing the damage, your stomach churned, and you were hit with the hard truth. “I…I don’t know what to do,” you whispered to him. You wanted to help him, more than anything. This man who’s been risking his life, probably since he was a teenager you realized, as you did the math silently in your head, was hurt and right in front of you, needing your help. And you needed to help him, but you didn’t know the first thing about how to approach a situation like this. You were surprised you could stare at the wound for so long. 

“Don’t worry, I can do it,” he said gently, his bloody hand reaching for the huge first aid kit. 

“No!” You rushed out, grabbing his hand to stop him, “No way am I letting you do that! Just…just tell me what to do and I’ll do it.

Feeling more confident, you grabbed the kit and opened it. Shock coursed you as you realized just how much he went through and your confidence fell right back down where it sprouted from. The bag was full of all the medical tools and supplies you could think of, most of them completely foreign to you, and you realized how privileged you must be to not recognize any of these things. You can’t imagine the ‘worse’ he talked about having earlier. This must be those accidents he was talking about.

“I don’t usually have to use them,” his voice was soft, almost like he was reassuring you, “usually just water and a towel does the trick. Maybe a little numbing cream. And these,” he looked down at his wounds, “some bandages, sure, but I won’t need stitches or anything.”

You let out a breath of relief, you weren’t sure you could’ve handled that. You didn’t trust yourself.

“Okay,” you said, grabbing some wipes. You were going to do this. Based on what he’d told you, he was always stitching himself back up, just to hit the streets again the next day. This time, though, was different. This time you were here to help him, and you weren’t going chicken out of this. Even a little help was better than nothing at all. 

You started slowly, cleaning around his wounds so you could bandage them properly. “You sure you’re okay with this?” He asked you gently. “I totally understand if you need me to do it, angel, it’s a lot if you’re not used to it.”

“No,” you shook your head, your voice steady, “No way. It’s my turn to fix you up.” You told him, looking up to meet his eyes and smiling at him. 

He returned it and you went back to work. 

“So….Spider-Man, huh?” You peeked up quickly in question. 

“Yeah,” he took a deep breath, “it’s a long story. Basically, I was bit by some spider, that shit was powerful,” you laughed a little, making him smile. “And I got some. Of its powers I mean.”

“So you get bit by a spider, that spider gives you powers, and you decide to become a New York vigilante?”

“Pretty much, yeah,” he nodded, and you laughed again. 

“You’re a hell of a guy Peter Parker.” You said, shaking your head slightly. 

“Thank you, I try,” he smirked at you and you laughed again. 

“Okay,” you said, pulling away from his side. He almost whined in protest. Honestly, he wasn’t feeling any pain, not since you’d started worrying about him, and insisting you help him. Peter wasn’t used to that, he was always alone when it came to this part of the job. He’d never minded that before, just one of the things he had to deal with as a superhero, but now that someone else was taking care of him…it felt nice. Really nice. Especially when it was you. 

“Peter?” You looked at him questioningly. Shit. You’d asked him something.  

“Huh? I'm sorry, I didn’t hear you.” He said with wide eyes. He’d gotten too wrapped up in the feeling of being taken care of, not that anyone could blame him though, the girl he’d been crushing on forever was here, in his room, helping bandage him up! It's more than he could’ve dreamed of. 

“It’s okay sweetie,” you said, waving him off assuming he was in pain or something. Really, now he had something new to obsess over. Sweetie? While he was practically naked (albeit injured, but he wasn’t thinking of that right now) in bed with you? God, he could just melt.

“I was just wondering which bandages,” you said, holding up the different ones you’d found in his bag. 

“Oh,” he said lamely, “these ones.” He grabbed a few from you and opened them. 

“Look,” he said, leaning over himself to see his wounds properly, “you’ve got to bring together both sides of the wound, then secure the bandage so that it’s holding it closed.” He talked as he placed the first bandage with you watching and listening with intent. 

“Okay, I think I’ve got it,” you said as you took the rest of the bandages from him. You steadied yourself, straddling his thigh as you started placing the bandages down his wound. The biggest gash took about five, your elbow resting on his abdomen as you got lower…and lower. 

Conveniently, you missed the quiver in his breath, too focused on the work at hand, but you didn’t miss the small gasp he let out when your forearm reached right between his thighs. 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” You said as you pulled away quickly, thinking you’d hurt him. “Did I pinch too hard?”

“No, no angel, you’re fine. Doing a great job actually.” He replied, trying to collect himself. He could not let himself think of that right now. There were more important things at hand. 

“You sure?” You asked him, not looking convinced.

“Positive.” He replied, grabbing your arm and pulling you back in (but making sure to keep you at a healthy distance from his dick). 

You added a few more bandages, most of the cuts only needing one or two, before pulling away again to rummage through his bag. “What do you use on your bruises?”

“This one,” he said, leaning over you and grabbing a tube from the kit. You turned, your lips almost brushing over each other with how close you were. 

“Hi,” you whispered, all thoughts completely flying out of your head as you realized just how badly you wanted to kiss him. 

“Hi angel,” he said smiling softly at you. 

Seeing you debate it in your head, Peter decided it would be easier for the both of you if he did it first. Leaning in, he closed the distance and smoothly took your lips in his. You melted into the kiss right away, feeling like you’d been craving this your whole life when really, you’d just kissed his a few hours ago before you’d left work. 

Your hands were on his bare chest, you could feel every muscle, every move when-

“Wait, you’re hurt!” You pulled away, leaving a pouting Peter in your wake. 

“My lips work just fine angel,” he said, trying to steal another kiss while you tried to avoid him. 

“But..let me finish at least,” you mumbled against his lips, barely getting a chance to pull away after he’d caught you. 

“You can finish, just lemme do this first,” he responded before kissing you again.

“Hey,” you mumbled against his lips. 

He hummed in response, moving to kiss your cheek, your jawline. If he kept this up you might not try to stop him. 

“Did you know Freddy took the bar exam? And passed?”

That got him to pull away. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, looking at you confusedly, “I’m kissing you and you decide this a good time to bring up Freddy?”

“Well, y’know,” you shrugged, “figured it was as good a time as any.”

He scoffed, “Unbelievable.”

You giggled, “I win.” You pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, pulling away before he could catch you and turn it into more.

“Now lay down, lemme do this,” you said waving the cream at him. 

He moved grumpily and you thought grumpy Peter was the cutest thing ever. The furrow of his brows, the slight pout of his lips. You could just kiss him. And you would’ve if you hadn’t known where it would lead you. 

You unscrewed the cap to the cream and started applying it gently. “So Fred’s a lawyer huh?” Peter spoke up. 

“He is!” You whispered excitedly, glad he was just as shocked as you were. 

“And you learned this how?” He asked, giving you a look. 

You shrugged. “He let me in and I talked to him, asked him a few questions to get to know him better since I see him everywhere.” 

“Wait, he’s here right now?”

“Yeah,” you said slowly, “I thought you knew?”

“No I didn’t-,” he let out a sigh, “whatever it's basically his apartment too at this point I guess.”

You laughed, “And you’re okay with that?”

He shrugged with his good side. “He buys the good beer.”

You laughed again. “He scored a 350 on the bar exam!”

Peter’s brows shot up. “Oh shit.”

“I know! The only thing I knew about him was that he blacked out in that frat house’s pool all night and the cops were called cause someone thought he was dead.”

“Yeah, he’s super lucky he was on his back. Just floated around the pool like a leaf.”

You shook your head, screwing the cap back on the tube of cream, “Crazy. But anyway, I’m done. And on the plus side,” you grinned at him, “if you ever get in legal trouble, you know someone!”

He laughed out loud, and you watched as his face scrunched up and he clutched his side in pain. Apologizing for the joke, you gave him a kiss on the cheek to make up for it. 

“Enough about crazy Freddy,” he let out a sigh, “I’m gonna go put some clothes on, and then I wanna cuddle with my girl.”

Your heart skipped a beat at his words and all you could do was smile as he stood up, giving you a kiss on the side of your head before he moved to pick out some clothes.

You watched him get dressed, biting your lip as you watched how his muscles rippled with each of his movements. You always knew he was strong but seeing him like that, was a completely different story. 

“Like what you see?” He asked, smirking at you before he lifted his shirt, holding it up between his teeth as he tied his sweatpants. 

Your mouth fell open. At being caught and also at…how absolutely hot he looked right now. If he wasn’t injured, you would be all. over. him. 

“S’alright angel,” he said as he stalked towards you. He was enjoying this, a lot. “I’m sure I’d be the same if the roles were reversed.”

That did not help. Now you were thinking about being naked in front of Peter and-

He laughed, kissed the side of your head again, and laid down, pulling next to him. 

“Careful Peter, you’re still hurt!” You chastised him. 

He shook his head, “You made me feel a hundred times better. Thank you, angel.”

“Of course Petey.” He smiled at you as he wrapped his arms around you, hugging you tight. 

“So, you came to see me right? Y’know, before the whole finding out I’m Spider-Man thing. What’s up?”

“Oh I almost forgot,” you perked up, tilting your head up so you could see his face, “I think I totally aced that chemistry exam!”

“Angel! I’m so proud of you!” He started attacking you with kisses, kissing you anywhere his lips could reach. 

You giggled, “Thank you sweetie, but seriously I owe you most of the credit, I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“Nonsense,” he shook his head, “that was all you. I barely helped, you learned everything and then took that quiz, and aced it.”

“Well I haven’t gotten my grade back yet, I just have a really good feeling, so don’t sound too are there's a chance I didn’t do as well as I thought.”

“Nope,” he said, popping the p. “I have a sense, a spidey sense. And my spidey sense is telling me that you totally aced that thing. No questions asked.”

You laughed loudly. “Spidey sense?”

“No questions,” he repeated as he nuzzled his nose into your hair. 

“Fine then,” you snuggled up further into him. “No questions.”

[inkpotsprite]

Out of curiosity, what are some of your favorite personal headcanons that you haven't been able to add from "I'll Die When I'm Dead"? (that don't spoil anything, of course)

Hope you're having a great day, as well!!!

This is a great question, I've got so many personal headcanons for this story, but these ones are my favourites.

One is that Tim has met all of Death’s favored at least once by now. He's particularly close to Yewa, Anansi, and Loki. But Anubis is the one he's closest to. He's started to view her as an older sister, kind of like the sibling Dick could never really be for Tim due to his dependency on him.

Tim and Cass are the closest out of everyone in the batfamily. Mainly because they have this shared understanding with one another. Cass can see things that Tim hides, and Tim will take the time to understand what Cass needs instead of assuming. They were joined at the hip before Cass moved to Hong Kong and even though they've grown apart due to the distance, they're still close in all the ways that matter.

Once, back when Cass had first joined the family, Bruce and Alfred got her dressed up for her first gala hosted at the manor. Cass felt uncomfortable in the dress but didn't know how to articulate it. Tim was the only one to notice. So, before they went downstairs, Tim and Cass switched outfits. Cass felt a lot more secure in a tux, and Tim rocked the dress, mostly just because it made Cass happy. Bruce was confused but happy enough to leave them be.

After the fear gas incident, Jason started carrying around a spare rebreather so that he'd always have one on hand for Tim if things went sideways again.

Tim and Bernard were childhood best friends from the age of seven onwards. Sebastian and Darla joined their group when they were nine.

Jason used to call Tim pipsqueak when they were kids, only because he found it hilarious when Tim would get so indignant about it.

Damian feels more at home at the penthouse than the Manor because that's where he spent most of his time with Dick when Bruce was gone. Some of his best memories so far took place there.

The favored group chat is called 'The Pretty Dead People Club', and Death is utterly exasperated by it.

And those are my favourite headcanons. Thank you for asking! I probably never would have gotten to share these otherwise 😊 Hope you're having an amazing day too!

[neo404]

Reader and nick are on there first date while matt and chris are wearing disguises at another table Trying to make sure their brother is okay

Surprise.

I can only imagine Chris and Matt wearing a top hat, with fake mustaches and beards on, also Matt probably has fake glasses on. And Chris did the goofy ‘holes on the newspaper’ thing like on the cartoons.

Summary: you and Nick go out for a casual dinner date at a local restaurant, without knowing that the table next to you was booked by a couple of weird guys.

Chris pov.

‘’This won’t work.’’ Matt says.

‘’It WILL. Look at you Matt, I don’t recognize you, you are Mister Bernard right there.’’ I look at myself in the mirror and I take a couple of pictures. ‘’Come on, it will be fun. Plus, we are watching over our Nick.’’

‘’But he doesn’t seem like a bad guy, plus, I’m sure Nick can beat him up.’’

‘’It’s not about beating him up Matt, it’s about feelings, you can’t beat up someone with a broken heart.’’

‘’I’d say you’d be more likely to beat them up harder with a broken heart, but whatever.’’

We drive to the restaurant we dropped Nick at, we reserved a table placed strategically NEXT to them. The perfect spot to spy… I mean, watch over Nick.

‘’This is silly.’’ Matt mutters.

‘’The reservation to what name is places?’’ the waiter looks at us.

‘’Bernard.’’ I smile widely.

‘’You have to be kidding me.’’ Matt whispers.

‘’All right. Sir Bernard, is placed outside, follow me, I’ll show you your table.’’ We go to our table, right next to them. I sit and pull out my newspaper and put it into the table. Looking over at Nick and then to Matt, trying my best to not laugh.

Nicks pov

‘’Are you serious?’’ I say under my breath as I see Chris and Matt walk in the restaurant with the silliest, wort disguise in human history. They look straight out of an asylum.

‘’Everything okay?’’ my crush, the boy I like, the boy I am in love with, sitting right in front of me, on this amazing date that we have been planning for weeks, doesn’t know about the presence of my two stupid brother right beside us.

‘’Yeah, all good. Do you like the place I choose?’’ I smile at him, trying to ignore Chris’ annoying voice.

‘’Yes, it’s very pretty. I love the string lights they have here.’’ God, he’s so cute. Why do they hate to ruin my night? They’ll never hear the end of this.

‘’Yes, that’s one of the reasons I chose it, it has an amazing decoration. Do you want some desert, I heard the sweets here are amazing, or if you like, we can go have ice cream at another place.’’ He smiles widely.

‘’Yeah, I’d love that, there’s a store a few blocks from here that sells ice cream and you can add like 3 to 5 topping, depending on how much you pay.’’

‘’That sounds amazing. I can’t wait to go there.’’ I can’t wait to get out of here, I don’t want to be near Chris and Matt.

‘’I really liked the food here, again, thanks for the invitation.’’

‘’It’s nothing, since I asked you out, I just thought it would make sense that dinner was on me.’’

‘’I thought it would make sense that dinner was on me, what a dork.’’ I hear from the table besides us and I clench my jaw.

‘’Haha, still, thanks Nick. Next date it’s on me.’’

‘’Next date?’’

‘’Shh Matt, you are talking to loud.’’

‘’Whatever, Mr. quiet.’’

I let out a sigh, grabbing the change and de receipt from the check-holder. ‘’Ready to go to eat ice cream.’’

‘’Yes, I’m so excited. You are gonna love the place. It has this animal plushies on shelves and the music is so relaxing.’’ He says smiling as he stands up and slides his chair into the table.

‘’Oh, excuse me young man.’’ Chris says to him in a bad faked southern accent. ‘’can you please take a photo of me and my pal here?’’

‘’Ah, yeah. Of course.’’ He smiles at them, he’s too kind for his own good. He takes the phone from Chris’ hands and takes pictures of them. ‘’There you go sir.’’ He hands the phone back after a few pictures.

‘’All right, let’s go, before it gets late and the ice cream shop closes.’’

‘’Right, right. Well, bye Chris, bye Matt, see you guys later.’’

‘’What? I don’t know ho you are talking about. We are Mr. Bernard and Mr… Pepso. Yes, Mr. Pepso from Alabama.’’ Chris tries to hold his laugh in, but fails and burst out laughing.

‘’How did you know?’’ I look at him. God, this is so embarrassing, I cover my face with one hand. ‘’I’m so sorry, I didn’t know they were doing this.’’

‘’It’s all right, it was funny seeing them dressed like this.’’ He laughs a bit. ‘’You guys need to work on your southern accent. Anyways, enjoy your meal. Will Mr. Bernard and Mr. Pepso from Alabama join us for dessert?’’

‘’God, don’t indulge these kids more.’’

‘’We’ll catch up with you. Plus, I’m the one driving Nick home. So, yeah, we’ll see you at the ice cream shop.’’ Matt says drinking what appears to be lemonade.

‘’All right. See you later guys.’’ He waves at them and walks smiling out of the restaurant.

‘’You better come up with a good explanation by the time we arrive home, or you’ll fucking regret this.’’ I threaten them in a low voice.

‘’Come on, he was having fun.’’

‘’MY date. Stay out kids.’’ I glare at them, walking outside the restaurant with him.

‘’So… Mr. Pepso and Bernard…’’

‘’Don’t… please, let’s just have fun the two of us.’’ He smiles warmly at me, grabbing my hand we start walking to the ice cream shop while talking about nothing and everything.

[lorena12me]

Hey, what if Darla accepted Bernard as her minion when she became Laura…

OK, so some context for this silly AU I just came up with the Minion AU.

Then Darla died and came back as Laura, traumatized and mentally unstable, not knowing if she wants to do good or bad. She looks for Bernard to ask him about Tim and as she gives him her villainy talk, Bernard sees that she is really alone and scared and asks to be her minion.

It brings back to Laura memories of Bernard's superhero nonsense, such a harmless part of her past life that she can't help but say yes.

She gives him an amulet that allows him to use some of her powers so he can keep up and Bernard helps her with her plans as she decides what she wants to do with her powers and her new life.

Bernard helps her to process her feelings about her death (they both have a connection to that, as she died in Bernard's arms).

They both realize that someone is missing from their newly formed group of potential villains.

so both friends decide to find Tim to offer him to join them. (none of them know that he is Robin)

Tim decides join them that he is to try to help them get on the right track.

I thought that since Steph "died", Tim would not want to go back to being Robin for now (in this AU) and decides to go with them to gradually convince them to seek help with the titans and other junior heroes.

Tim would be that tired man holding two children on leashes at the airport. Bernard and Darla are new to powers and heroism/villainy (depends on how Darla is feeling that day) and everything is fresh and entertaining (obviously they deal with trauma too), while Tim, a hardened vigilantism boy sees reflected in them his first moments as Robin.

oh, and now that Tim and Bernard are together more time each day, he starts to have feelings for each other as Darla watches what a mess her friends are. (She quickly gets over her crush on Tim.)

Batman would be horrified that his Robin would turn villainous and try to stop him at all costs while Young Justice cheers on Tim from the stands, knowing he is trying to help his friends.

then the Red Hood comes to town and learns that his replacement chose villainy.

He dares to steal that too! ??

[nicomoon69]

How would a Robin & a Spiderman Bernard team up go? Also are there any other ideas you have for this au that you could share?

(sorry in advance for the messiness, I have many thoughts but little brain cells)

I am still super in the brainstorm and planning phase, so nothing is set in stone yet BUT I do have a few possible ideas depending on how I exactly want the story to go. So here’s a few of the possibilities:

1. instead of Bernard going to rescue Tim at the end of TD:R it will be as Spider-Man instead of civilian Bernard and he’ll be looking to rescue Robin instead of Tim. this would be more so be a batfam + spiderman team up rather than robin and spiderman, but I’m including it cause the potential for a moment between the two is there

2. they team up when a large scale attack is going on in Gotham, I think someone like Ivy would fit (though I’m not super sure where she is in canon so that might change). up to that point Bernard will mostly have been dealing with smaller crime (robberies, mugging etc.) so he’s mostly busy rescuing civilians until his spidey senses tell him there’s someone in danger. said someone being Red Robin, who’s facing Ivy alone and not doing too well. the rest of the Bats are nowhere to be seen so Bernard helps out

3. Bernard is webbing up some people so they can’t get away until the GCPD arrives when RR approaches him about working together to bust a drug ring since it’s on what people started considering Spider-Man’s area. Bernard agrees, excited to be working together with Tim as equals in the field

all of these have something I like, so it’s really going to be a matter of figuring out what works best and also what makes the most sense since esp scenario 1 could bring some difficulties

as for ideas I can share there’s not honestly that much yet :”)

I am working on exactly how I want Bernard’s spider powers to work and what they change abt him. ofc there’s gonna be the basics like spidey senses, the sticking to walls, enhanced healing etc and since Bernard is also a science guy I can justify him having his webshooters. outside of that I think a quirk in his powers fitting for Gotham would be great, though I’m not sure what exactly. He does already have little spider fangs, but I didn’t add them for practical use so I’m not counting them as special powers quirk

[dovand]

i am as always thinking about 14 and the nobles... specifically 14 & shaun. CRIMINAL lack of 14 & shaun content . excuse me that is my emotional support deranged lovers-in-law prongs of a queerplatonic throuple V. that is my little scrinkly wet cat and his chill saint bernard friend. that is my symbiotic relationship weirdos who sleep back-to-back to 14 can a) leech his body heat b) cuddle donna c) not fall off the bed. that is my favourite “both wake up early but one of them is being clung to like they are a teddy bear and it is Not Shaun, who is making ‘too bad’ faces at 14 and tiptoeing away” dynamic.

(14 either ends up dozing again after he wakes up early or just lays there curled up thinking—but, either way, when shaun shows up with breakfast in bed every sunday, he is treated to the beautiful sight of the two huge autism creature eyes peering up at him from behind the most bedraggled mop of hair ever seen. whether there are any thoughts behind those eyes depends on whether their owner has been napping or Pondering)

(yes this is all made up in my head!!! yes i am dismayed by there only being FOUR FICS (4!!) using it as a tag and none of them (afaict) doing it in a qpr way. where is my deranged weirdplatonic polycule!!!)

further insanity under the cut pleasseee please please read. please i need to be insane about this with people

(also btw this post is about queerplatonic doctordonna, doctordonna shippers i love you and you are welcome to contribute but it is a Little squicky for me so if tag ur additions (so i have a heads-up) that would be so lovely and i would adore you forever <3)

shaun likes listening to people ramble and 14 likes rambling so it is a regular occurrence to find the two of them like. standing in the kitchen holding cups of tea except one of them is actually drinking the tea and one of them is talking too rapidly about equivalent exchange to remember to blink, let alone have a sip of earl gray that has veered violently past lukewarm and is headed straight for room temperature

if 14 is in a not-wordy mood tho… thru shaun’s expert tutelage he has mastered the art of the Dad Nod. he passes shaun in the hall and gives him a little nod. shaun gives him one back. 0 words are spoken but they understand each other on a deeper level than if there had been.

they go on a Family Outing to a thrift store. rose and donna disappear to the dressier sections. shaun creeps along the racks of trousers, solemnly comparing seemingly identical pairs of jeans. 14 follows him and stares for a while, then silently hands him a loudly patterned pair of shorts. shaun takes them without question and adds them to his basket & sylvia loses her mind just a little bit when she sees him wearing them

(^ this inspired by going thrifting w my friend and looking @ everything and then finding her dad looking thru the racks of shorts comparing two beige ones, and my friend handing him a pair of pink shorts with penguins on and him buying them. because he has some . i think plaid shorts? at home and when he wore them his wife said he looked gay. so he’s trying to do it More) (it's an incredible family dynamic there. i have no idea what is going on)

god jesus. 14 learns how to cook so he can be the housething (as opposed to housewife or househusband. he is just a weirdgenderthing. little creature). someone buys him a nice apron and he wears it with so much delight. chases everyone else out of the kitchen so he can concoct something lovely. runs out into the garden to stick something into an oven in the tardis kitchen because “i am not working with enough ovens, here, people!”. organises the pantry and gets this crazed look if anyone tries to stop him. “how will i know where things a—” “it will be LABELLED.” brandishes a label maker that DEFINITELY is not from modern-day earth given that it seems to take dictation as input and can print in colour and has not needed a refill of paper even though he has extensively labelled EVERY PLASTIC BOX of stuff in the pantry

sometimes he gets into Moods where he needs to solve a problem before it makes his head explode and that used to be a like. tinkering in the tardis thing. where he’d have himself and whatever poor companion he was with just floating in the time vortex for a week while he tries to make this bit of the tardis do what he wants it to. now it’s a day or two spent almost entirely in the kitchen trying to find the scientifically optimal method by which to make meringues. he starts gesturing dramatically with a spatula forgetting it is not a sonic screwdriver. makes a sonic spatula. realises he doesn’t often need to like. scan a pancake for malware. sadly puts the sonic spatula away

he is absolutely a nightmare to watch movies with btw bc a) can’t sit still b) so tall. either he is bouncing his leg and shaking the whole couch or he is stretched out across the entire sofa. no in between. donna buys a thick rug so he can just lay on the floor. the rug is TOO comfortable and he starts just spending time laying on the floor which would be fine if he thought to turn the lights on because people keep almost stepping on him while he’s having 4am Floor Time (on the nights he's not drooling all over donna's pillow)

if anyone else has thoughts about Them PLEASe share i will love you so much and forever. doctor~donna/shaun weirdcule is the only thing in my head

[sonicfanthenightfury5099]

Random things Michael would do being with you

Author's note: Just random headcannon for a tamed Michael (78)

Would be napping on the couch or in the shared bed

Just watch something on the TV or see the birds out the window

Randomly will find and hold you as his form of love

His love language is sweets

Bit rough but can be gentle with you

At first, he was acting like a feral animal, and over time, he grew warm towards ypu

Would touch foreheads as his other form of love language

Hunts sometimes

If you live away from Haddonfield (Michael must have walked away from his hometown) and no one those who he is, it's possible to have date nights in the town/city you living

Michael snores softly one day and loud the next

Sleeps on his back or stomach in the bed or on the couch, spoons with you to be close

Kissing Michael would be a challenge depending on if he's wearing his mask or if he is avoiding one to be a difficult challenge

If you have a Cat, he's bonding with them as he please. (Finds Orange cats Stupid due to their one brain cell)

If you have a Dog (A XXL breed), He's going to have to get used to being with one (he's not a dog person). Example: Great Pyrenees would lay on him when he's on the couch. St Bernard takes up most of his space in the bed like a wall, eventually him falling off the bed. Newfoundland Slobby kisses on his face that he's going to have to clean afterwards. Alaskan Malamute, Hairs everywhere, and a dopey face to look at. Mastiff, chills with him when napping

If you have a Bird, he's going to be shocked when the Bird calls his name

If you have fish, he's going to be wondering if you're raising them as food or what? Example Exotic Fish, in awe of the Koi you own

Bathing habits are not regular. You may need to get him into the shower or tub with you

Other love language of his, light bitting, tracing hearts and words on your skin, hugs of his way (a bear hug), and butterfly kiss your lips

Didn't know what Chamomile tea was till you gave him a cup in the afternoon, then burning his lips on it. But letting it cool before he sipped it, afterward, he started to feel sleepy and then plodded in bed

Kissing every inch of you and giving tongue even when love making

If you ask him if you could kiss for an hour without breaking the contract, he'll try, and after the hour is up, he wants more

He didn't know that he was good at making love until his first time with you. He blown his own mind and yours in the process

Much prefer a quiet night in than out in the club (Too much for him)

Mimics things you do around the house, cleaning and laundry and not trying to break anything in the process

One too many beers, he's sick the next morning (he's a lightweight)

===============================

First HC Post of 2024, and it's with my hubby Michael

[synergysilhouette]

Changes I'd make to Tim Drake (Warning: may be controversial)

As my favorite Robin, I've needed to make this post for a long time. I know my opinions may not be agreed upon, but I hope my dedication is still appreciated, nonetheless.

He isn't dragged for his superhero goals--Any poor mistake that DC makes, they decide to pin it on him having poor judgement, which is really unfair. As many things that get ignored/retconned (even if they arguably shouldn't be, depending on the subject), it feels bizarre to drag Tim for things like his ill-fated "Drake" costume and era, especially when it was walked back on so quickly. On top of this, people seem to look down on him for genuinely enjoying being Robin. Robin wasn't always a "move on" position, per se; Dick had been Robin for consecutive decades before deciding he wanted something different, while Jason was murdered and became someone else as a reflection of this. Tim became Robin because he saw that Batman NEEDED him, and deduced Batman and the previous Robin's identities on his own. If he wants to do stop being Batman's partner (or sidekick, depending on perspective), it should be his own choice, not everyone else saying "this was a temp job and you're out."

He has his own unique color, costume, and maybe even codename--Even if he remains by Batman's side, Tim deserves to be distinct; his codename and color scheme are shared with all his brothers, and it doesn't do much for him. I'd definitely prefer a cowless take on his Savior costume (unsure about the codename; it feels a bit too on-the-nose, but it also feels like it represents his need to help others) or bring back his N52 Red Robin suit WITH the wings as well as making him the brother in purple, which goes well with the Batfamily's aesthetic as well as signifying his romance with Stephanie and friendship with Bunker.

He's going for a psyche major--I feel like this fits so well with his motivations. It's weird that the Batfamily doesn't put more stock in studying psychology outside of Harley (who rarely uses this skill, much to my chagrin). Tim wants what's best for everyone, and became a hero in order to help people. He isn't simply trying to stop problems, but prevent them and make Gotham a better place for everyone. While he can still go for a cyber-related degree (I don't remember his exact major), I'd prefer he also go for a degree that furthers his desire to understand and improve others, plus it's good to help him better understand himself as well. Definitely would've made this something he furthered in "Heroes in Crisis" (which I should make an post about another time).

He isn't bi--Hate me if you must. I'm a gay guy, and I just didn't vibe with this reveal. During the mid-2000s, it was stated by one of his artists that he and the writers kind of already saw Tim as bi, though DC never made this canon until 2021. As far as I know (as a 2010s comic person), it never seemed like DC was keen to lean into LGBT sexuality for Tim, and given that they've been treating him poorly post-N52, it feels like this was a random "let's find a way to make Tim as popular as his brothers" by making him stand out in a way that they didn't. I know this is a bold claim, but this is a feeling I've had for a while now, especially since his personal life now mainly revolves around Bernard (personal bias, but I'm usually not a fan of heroes dating non-heroes; I'd prefer him with Bunker--or Connor, if he's romantically into guys). And they haven't done him many favors since; DC infamously described him as the "always-online bisexual" in a now deleted tweet that embodies my concern that they're just defining him by his sexuality now, as well as a solo comic with horrendous art for most of the run. If Jason or Damian were depicted as bi (with the latter being the least controversial choice, imo, given his younger tenure in comics and romantic life not as fleshed out), I'm almost sure they'd be better handled, probably because they've been better handled as characters in recent years. Overall, I found Tim's retcon of sexuality unnecessary (yet we have bi characters such as Ghostmaker who were LGBT from the get-go and don't get nearly as much attention) and overall used as a metaphor for his "indecisiveness" at making decisions that DC forced onto him.

He still has a (biological) family and life--A big problem with writers and artists is that they sometimes have a problem with trying to make the 4 Robins identical in appearance and lives. Unlike Jason and Dick, Tim wasn't an orphan adopted by Bruce, not originally anyway. He had his own life and chose to be part of Bruce's world, and the need to make him an orphan with pretty much nothing going on in his civilian life was disrespectful (is he still an Olympic-level gymnast? Kinda love the idea that he takes time off for "me time" here and there and that's when Damian or another Batfam member jumps in). Let him have friends and family as Tim Drake, not just as Robin. Let Bruce be his dad without killing off his biological one. Let Tim have autonomy and individuality!

More A-list connections--This is being petty, but most of his friends are next-gen heroes with no major stuff going on for themselves, just like him. Surrounding yourself with important people can help you become important, too. I'm not telling friends to drop his friend groups (him and Conner have one of the best male homosocial relationships in comics and it sucks how they got overshadowed by Damian and Jon), but giving him more relationships with well-known characters could help his status. Plus maybe involve him in more teams outside of Teen Titans and the Batfamily; it's not good that he jumps between being an underrated member amongst iconic characters and a leader of underrated people. Just make sure he's not trading positions to become another hero's apprentice--there was once plans for him to be the next Blue Beetle as well as a temporary Nightwing, neither of which would be good for him, tbh. I have similar feelings for Starfire (we need more of her friendship and Superman; plus I'd love another underrated TT team led by Tim, perhaps with Ryand'r).

Never lose sight of who he is--The idea with Tim (at least from what I've absorbed) is that he's the most optimistic, maybe even naive, version of Dick, committed to wanting to help people and support them, and not one to brush them off of devalue them. He's got a heart, not just a brain, and I like to consider him one of the glue sticks that holds the family together. He doesn't need to be edgy or cool in the way that Damian and Jason are, nor should he be reduced to a sex object like Dick (which is another post entirely).

[masha-nikita]

How strong is his Mars?- Erwin Rommel

This is a episode 3 of my series on the Wehrmacht- “How strong is his Mars?” to test a theory in Astrology community- you’ve got to have a strong Mars to be competent in the military.

Let’s see how Rommel fares.

It is a very artistic-minded chart, and because of that, he's a beautiful mess. Let’s get Rommel’s Mars out of the way first, because the whirlwind of sparks and troubles appears with his Mercury.

Mars is in detriment under Libra. Libras are known to be peacemakers, hence this sign clashes HARD with Mars’ nature; the net result is that its natives are very passive-aggressive—our Fox wants to fight his colleagues, but not really. This Mars likes to prove itself right among peers, spends too much energy on what path is the right path, where consequences should matter most.

It is either a score 3 lousy Mars or 10/10 best thing ever; this Mars is very difficult to rate. It receives beneficial influences from the Neptune-Pluto aspect, but the influence is softer compared to Walter Model’s. A Libra Mars seeks inner balance from fundamentally imbalance strong forward thrusts. Libra Mars are not peace-loving folks.

Rommel’s Mars placement is in his 8th house, this HOUSE OF DEATH AND SEX doesn’t mitigate anything at all. He may act almost suicidal on the field, but in truth, his Mars seeks unattainable balances like living through death while not really dying, and love in enemies while this love is not possible.

Manstein’s Sun opposite Neptune may blow his self-evaluations out of proportions, but when Mercury opposite Neptune, our little fox is quite good at finding rhetorics to lie to himself, in short, a master rationalizer.

True, Neptune endows magical touches for these generals, but I would choose Model’s Neptune sextile Mars over Rommel’s Neptune opposite Mercury.

Because this Mercury is a Russian roulette with a huge lottery prize attached to it— Rommel’s mind could rationalize situations in such awesome way that dumbfounds his colleagues. When his rationalization works, his enemy just fucks off and never recovers from his attacks. But maybe 1/3 of a time it is his rationalization for the sake of it and thus he’s bullshitting himself. Thankfully a well-aspected Saturn somewhat tone down the bullshit part of it.

It is very hard to tell how his Venus influences his Mercury in terms of military prowess, but Venus-Mercury conjunct natives are IG models, very eager to appear pretty. Rommel has a tendency to regard his operations as his artistic handiwork and likes to take souvenirs from them.

Yeah, that one in the middle is Rommel (circa 1912)

and yeah, that is pretty. I don't know what to tell you.

Astrologers hold the opinion that Venus-Mercury native are generally refined and well-mannered, on the ground that these natives love art; but historians comment that Rommel took advice very roughly, and would rather go straight to Hitler for what he wanted. Rommel’s Venus is not that hard to understand, like—NO ARTIST ON TUMBLR LIKES TO TAKE UNWARRANTED ART ADVICE FROM RANDOS.

Diametrically different from Model, who is a war-realist, Rommel is a war-artist. Shove him under Gerd Von Rundstedt, he would under-perform; but give him a Bernard Montgomery, he does that immensely lovely and mesmerizing dance upon the ocean of sand. Much like an artist, Rommel’s performance depends on what enemy he gets. Around 1944, Von Rundstedt justifiably complained that Rommel is perpetually stuck in the mindset of a small commander and never really “grows up” to be a general.

Rommel is either too overrated or wildly underrated; modern historians support the idea that the British had their own post-war agenda to prop up a German Virgin Mary of some sort, so Rommel’s good image was an exaggeration.

Well, Manstein could bluff here and there with his Lost Victory, and Liddell Hart bluffs with him, but Erich’s accomplishments (and blunders) are still visible. The problem with Rommel is that you simply can’t rate an artwork.

Rommel heavily relies on this Mercury for artistic expression; a Sagittarius Mercury is fanciful and likes to touch every little gadget under the sun, gets distracted by mechanical toys easily. Rommel would probably get a broken cattle equipment from a nomad goat herder at the desert, then tries to figure out if this piece of garbage could stop tanks.

But an oppositional Pluto would make this Mercury too suspicious, secretive and sensitive. His commanders would hear him clinking-clunking away with garbage in his tent, but Rommel wouldn’t tell them what the hell this is- he certainly doesn’t like to be told “but marshal, we don’t have time for garbage.”

In conclusion, instead of worshiping the God of War for masculine killing power, our little hot-headed desert fox prayed to the fairy godmother—and it turned out well. His power lies in beauty, and he is truly, immensely powerful.

[highlysusceptibletodisaster]

Tim Drake x Bernard Dowd — Identity Reveal.

Tim and Bernard had to talk. Now that the things were calm, and they were done with the cult of the Chaos Monster, there were things that needed to be resolved, they both knew it, and they were both afraid of it.

Tim texted Bernard, saying "we need to talk", which he saw and didn't reply. The truth is, they haven't really talked since Bernard showed up with all the batfamily and the marina to save Tim, or Robin. Tim took care of Bernard until he was sure he was okay, and Bernard did the same for him, but after that, the situation got awkward, and they both knew they were delaying the inevitable.

Tim was in his boat, wearing an old t-shirt that was probably Dick's, walking back and forth waiting for an answer from Bernard when he heard something coming from outside the boat. When he went to see what it was, he found Bernard entering his room. Sometimes Tim forgot that he gave a copy of his key to Bernard, saying he could use it when he needed to, if the situation got tough. He had to fight an urge to hug his boyfriend, at that point Tim had already become dependent on Bernard's touch. He never really liked physical touch, but it was different with his boyfriend, not touching him was so hard.

"Hey" Bernard said "I was nearby and I saw that you wanted to talk" it was a lie, he was already on his way to Tim's boat when he saw the message.

"Yeah" Tim replied, not knowing how to go on.

Even though he knew what he needed to talk, he had no idea how to start a conversation like that. He was so scared, he was afraid of how Bernard would react, and was so afraid of losing him. Bernard had already become an important part of Tim's life, a bigger part than he was willing to admit, and he wasn't the only one who notice it, his siblings and his friends talked about how happy he looked, and that they hadn't seen Tim this way in a long time. That's why he was so afraid of telling the truth, because that meant change, and change scared him.

Thinking rationally, Tim knew that Bernard liked Robin, his Robin, but liking him and dating him were two different things, and an irrational part of his brain kept telling him that being Robin would make him lose Bernard, as it has made him love everything else.

Bernard pulled him out of his thoughts.

"Listen, Tim" he said, trying to stay calm "I really didn't mean to find out. I had no idea when we started going out."

Tim could see the pleading in his eyes.

"I wanted to tell you" he let the words slip out, staring at the floor "but it was too dangerous, I couldn't risk it, not again" he said, looking at his boyfriend.

Bernard was silent for a while. He knew Tim was scared, but he wasn't the only one. Bernard was afraid Tim would get mad at him for finding out or for not telling him what he knew.

He knew Tim wasn't like that, not his Tim, but there was a voice in his head that kept saying "he'll leave you like everyone else, like he's left you before, you always screw up", and it was hard to ignore this voice.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you when I found out" his voice was choked, and he felt tears forming in his eyes. He was trying to be rational, but he was so used to letting people down and being punished for it that it was hard to imagine any other scenario "I was afraid of what might happen."

Tim stared at him, he really wanted to hug him, but he didn't know if Bernard wanted to. Tim has never been good at showing affection, and he never quite knew how to handle it.

"I…" when Bernard looked at him, Tim released that feeling he had trapped in his chest, not knowing what to do with it "I'm relieved that you know" he said, feeling like a huge weight had been lifted from his lungs "every time I had to lie to you, I wanted to tell you the truth. I was afraid you would think the problem was you, and that if you knew the truth, I would lose you."

Bernard had to hold back a laugh. The idea of Tim losing him was almost comical. It was something much more likely that he would lose Tim, but he wouldn't say that.

"If It makes you feel better" he said, wiping his eyes "your excuses weren't exactly the best" he smiled.

"I usually lie better than that" he replied, smiling over the teary eyes he didn't even notice he had.

"So you're not really mad at me?" Bernard asked, he needed to be sure.

"No, of course not" Tim reassured him "I was just surprised, I though you would be pissed that I didn't tell you" he said guiltily.

"I figured you had your reasons, and you'd tell me at some point, but I didn't think I would have to tell you first" Bernard couldn't contain his smile of relief.

"When did you find out?" Tim asked.

"I had my suspicions, but I was sure when I tried to cook on your boat and accidentally opened a giant computer with the Robin symbol" he replied, to which Tim looked away, embarrassed at his inability to keep his secret "but you know I wouldn't tell anyone, right?" he asked, taking Tim's hands.

"I trust you, Bernard"

"I trust you too, my boy wonder" he replied, kissing Tim.

They kissed for a while, and neither of them could say when they ended up on the couch.

"By the way," Bernard said, between kisses, "Pie told me they saw Robin here the other night," he chuckled between sentences, "they're sure you're cheating on me."

"And what did you do?" Tim asked, snuggling into Bernard's lap.

"I said that we are a threesome."

"You what?"

Ok so this was supposed to be posted on monday but I only managed to finish today. Sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language and I just quickly revised it. But I hope you liked it!!

[lady0ctavia]

Hetalia Kiss Headcanons (2p!Nordics)

(Minus Iceland. See the pinned post for the reason why).

Headcanons on how the 2p!Hetalia characters would kiss their S/O, as well as who I think would initiate your first kiss as a couple.

2p!Denmark: Markell tends to be more quiet and reserved than his 1p! counterpart, and his kisses reflect this. Kisses from Markell are usually slow and soft, allowing you to be lightly scratched from the stubble on his chin. I can also see him being the kind of guy to lazily press a kiss to your cheek to say good morning, as well as good night. These kisses aren't rare, but they don't happen too often either. It really depends on his mood. But if you want to kiss him on your own, he's not gonna complain. It's probably you who initiates your first kiss as a couple.

2p!Sweden: Bernard's kisses can either be sweet and affectionate or possessive and dominating. There is no in-between. This man's a yandere, so his kisses will entirely depend on his mood and where he personally thinks your relationship is at. If he thinks your relationship is going well and you're not spending time with other guys (or whatever genders you're attracted to), his kisses will be oh-so affectionate. But if he happens to find you hanging around other guys, or he feels you may leave him, he'll grab you by the arms and pull you forward, slamming his lips upon yours, maybe even biting your lip. Given how affectionate he is, he'd be the one to initiate the first kiss between you two.

2p!Norway: Kisses from Loki are warm, intense, and leave you feeling as if your soul's on fire. He'd like to hold your hands as you kiss before peppering your face with little kisses along your cheeks and nose. He can be pretty impulsive, so understand that he'll be giving you surprise kisses throughout the day. He also likes to give you a small kiss on the ear, thoroughly enjoying the way you shudder as his breath hits your skin. Between the two of you, he'd be the one initiating that first kiss.

2p!Finland: Kisses with Thurston are so rare they may as well be nonexistent. He seems to permanently be in a bad mood. Many of his kisses seem to be reluctant, only happening when you kiss him first. However, this doesn't mean that he never kisses you. On the exceptionally rare occasion, he does kiss you, it's a very quick peck on the lips. But he can become more affectionate when drunk, landing a sloppy, lazy kiss on your lips before resting a head on your shoulder. Because of his stubborn nature, you'd have to be the one to initiate that first kiss.

[secondbeatsongs]

iCarly Meta, Part 5: Socko, Nominative Determinism, and How I Spend My Free Time

so, you may remember that I've made four separate iCarly posts before, because I am just way too into this dorky, ridiculous children's show.

well, over a year ago, I wrote this fifth one. and after some introspection, some really deep self-evaluation about what I want and where I'm going in life, I've decided that it's time to share it with the world at large

so...let's talk about Socko's family!

to catch you up: Socko is Spencer's best friend, who designs all of the fun socks that Spencer wears! he's first mentioned in s01e07 (iScream on Halloween), though some of his socks are shown as early as s01e02 (iWant More Viewers).

(technical note: production-wise, s01e09 is listed before s01e07, and I think that was intended to be Socko's introduction, and it would make sense, considering how Spencer describes him in that ep. but I can't prove this, and so we move on.)

while Socko is mentioned consistently throughout the show, he's never fully shown on screen. but, he does technically appear in an episode, because you can see part of his arm in s04e11-s04e13 (iParty with Victorious) when he hands Spencer the keys to his van.

Spencer and Socko have known each other since at least 1999 (as mentioned in s02e12, iRocked the Vote) when Spencer would have been 17 or 18. and despite Socko almost never being shown, it's clear that he spends a lot of time with Spencer, and that they're close. if Spencer needs something, Socko is always willing to call in a favor from one of his family members.

and boy, does Socko have a lot of very interesting family members.

let's go over some of them real quick:

Bernie is a welder, Otto is a used car salesman, Tyler designs neckties, Taylor is a tailor, Rob is a thief, Arty is an artist, Isaac is an optometrist, and Ryder is a motorcycle enthusiast.

are we noticing a pattern here?

every single one of these is an aptronym – a personal name that is aptly or peculiarly suited to its owner. and since all of these people are in some way related, this is fascinating to me.

it seems like Socko's family is really into nominative determinism – the idea that people tend to gravitate towards areas of work that fit their names. whether or not this is true of people in real life is unclear, but in the universe of iCarly, this is something that Socko's family is all about.

when did it start, I wonder? who was the first in the family to have a job or hobby that related directly to their name? and who continued that pattern? because someone named Bernard going by "Bernie" and taking up welding is one thing, but an entire family of people going into fields that have to do with their names is unsettling.

is this on purpose, now? do the parents in Socko's family choose names for their children based on what they want them to be? is there an expectation that each child will have to choose a profession based on what their parents name them?

I think there is. and I think it's fucked up.

imagine growing up knowing that your name would control your future career options. that no matter how you felt about your name, choosing a career or hobby that matched it is what would make your parents happy. that at least some portion of your parents' love is tied to the idea that you will be what they named you.

and depending on the name, the kids aren't always left with a lot of options! someone named Bernie could be a welder, a woodburning artist, a firefighter, etc...but for Taylor, there's really only one path to take.

what if a kid is trans? I just have to wonder, would they be judged more for not identifying with their assigned sex at birth, or for changing their name?

and one of Socko's cousins is named Mary. think about that with me for a second – Mary.

imagine that the only dream your parents have for you is that you get married. and not just fall in love! no, you were given this name because their express purpose, their biggest hope for you is that you get legally married.

what if Mary had been gay? what if she grew up with fear in her heart, knowing that the only thing her parents had ever wanted from her wasn't possible, was actually illegal, because of who she was?

or what if she had been aro, or ace, or just otherwise not interested in relationships? or what if she was interested in relationships, but not the serious, legal commitment of marriage?

my hope here (my one fragile hope) is that Rob, Mary, and Josh are siblings, and that their parents were trying to escape this part of the family legacy. maybe they named their kids Robert, Marian, and Joshua, and tried to steer clear of any obvious career choices – but then their sons started going by "Josh" and "Rob" and causing trouble, and "Mary" started talking about her upcoming wedding, and they knew that they would never be free of the family curse.

'cause it's gotta be a curse, right? I feel like at this point, it has to be.

but hey, worry not! because I think there are some loopholes.

Penny, for example, had a lot of choices – she could have minted coins, or built fences, or designed ball-point pens, or been a cashier (etc, etc). but she didn't do any of those things! she started a t-shirt company, and made shirts with fun phrases on them like "church pants" and "parole baby" and "chest words" (all shirts I would wear for real).

her job didn't have anything to do with her name – but she still followed the family pattern. she named her t-shirt company "Penny-Tees", and sewed a single penny into each of her shirts. instead of finding a name-based occupation, she made her own.

I really think it's brilliant – she got to do what she wanted, and her parents couldn't complain, because it still suited her name! and if this pattern is curse-based, she found a way around it by following it to the letter (but not exactly the spirit), and because of this, she got to make her own choices.

and speaking of jobs that may or may not suit one's name: let's talk about Socko.

early in the show when we're introduced to him, we know three things about him:

he knows where to find huge pumpkins

he sells Spencer all of his wacky socks

his name is Socko

but, thinking about that third point…is it?

like, is his name actually Socko?

let's look at Socko's family tree for a moment:

(ID in alt text)

(yes, I made this. it took over two days. I skimmed through many episodes, looked through a large amount of the old iCarly website on the Wayback Machine, and as far as I know, this is canon accurate.)

(shhh, this was absolutely a valuable use of my time. don't worry about it.)

look at his family. look at the names.

almost all of them are, well…normal names. names that could belong to any acquaintance, friend, or relative in your own everyday life.

the only real exceptions here are Freight Dog, Boomer, and Dr. Paxil – but if we're being real? "Freight Dog" is almost definitely a nickname, "Paxil" isn't that strange-sounding of a surname, and I have actually seen people named "Boomer".

so that just leaves…Socko.

"Socko" is not a people name. it sounds mean, but I don't know how else to word that – it's just not a name for a human person.

it would be a great name for a cat or a dog (especially if they had paws that were a different color from their body – man, that'd be so cute!), but it is not a name that many parents would willingly give to a human child. especially when all of the other siblings in the family have relatively normal names.

my theory, my hottest take: I don't think "Socko" is his legal name.

think about it: Socko and every single one of his siblings went into the fashion industry. even accounting for the fact that they probably wanted Penny to have a different career, would Socko's parents really want all three of their other children going into the same industry, especially one as tumultuous and challenging as fashion design?

I think not. I think they gave Socko a different name, one that they believed would lead him down a completely distinct career path. and then, like Penny, Socko found his own true calling – but instead of changing his occupation to match his name? he changed his name to match his occupation.

it is my belief that Socko's birth name…the name his parents gave him…

(drumroll please)

…was "Socrates".

now hold on, just stay with me here. because I swear that this does make sense, really!

so, back at the beginning of this post I mentioned nominative determinism, but that term wasn't actually used until 1994. before then, it was called "onomastic determinism" or "die verpflichtung des namens" ("the obligation of the name"), but it wasn't really…a thing? it wasn't something that people really studied, and when they did, nobody could seem to come to a solid conclusion about whether or not your name does actually influence your career choice.

I think that in some way, Socko's parents wanted an answer. they wanted an explanation as to why their family tree reads like a joke book. and by naming their kid "Socrates", they were sending that question out into the world, hoping for a response.

because there were really two options here – either Socko would grow up to be a philosopher, someone who could search for meaning in the pattern of family job-finding, or he wouldn't. and if he didn't, if he threw off the shackles of his name and did something else entirely, then that in itself would be an answer.

and sure, maybe his parents should have thought about how "Socrates" might be abbreviated. maybe they should have considered that he could grow up to design socks. but hindsight is 20/20, and I don't know if that's something any parent would expect of their child, so I won't hold that against them.

I will however, judge them for naming two of their kids "Taylor" and "Tyler" – like, my god. can you imagine how often people got them mixed up? it's inhumane.

even worse if they were twins! though actually, that would make some kind of twisted sense – to give twins names that not only match, but that would lead them to careers in the same industry. maybe they wanted them to go into business together? hoo boy.

anyway, sorry, I've gone off-topic. back to Socko – or should I say, Socrates.

"Socrates" is a pretty fun name. two parts of it are σῶς (sôs, “safe and sound”) and κράτος (krátos, “power”), which is an interesting name meaning for a dude who was executed for corrupting the youth.

(I'm talking about the philosopher here – as far as I know, Socko from iCarly was not executed for corrupting the youth. at least, not yet.)

and if we keep thinking about Socrates (the philosopher), I think there's another reason that this name fits: we know fuck-all about Socrates.

sure, he's well-known – lots of people know about his ideas, and the Socratic method – but…he never actually wrote anything. everything we think we know about him, we learned from somebody else.

all of Socrates' interests, his skills, his beliefs? they were all things we learned from Plato, Xenophon, or (I guess) Aristophanes. we have no idea what the dude was actually like, outside of that.

just like we have no idea what Socko is like, outside of what Spencer says.

Socrates is a vital figure in the history of western philosophy, but all of the things we know about him are altered by the opinions of other people, filtered through the lenses of their perception.

and Socko is a vital character in the show iCarly, but all of the things we know about him – his hobbies, his opinions, his wants – are things we've heard second-hand from Spencer.

(you're laughing. Spencer Shay is a stand-in for Plato, and you're laughing.)

so in a very fun way, Socko (Socrates) did live up to his name…by being unknown to us, the audience.

us, watching this TV show the way chained prisoners watch shadows dance on the wall of a cave.

continuing down this rabbit hole…does this mean that one of the iCarly crew is Aristotle?

no…perhaps that's taking it too far.

(it'd be Gibby)

final notes:

I haven't seen all of the iCarly reboot yet (I'm on episode 3! I have mixed feelings, but I think one of the writers ships the thing that I ship, so that's fun), so if it mentions something about Socko lore, I unfortunately do not know about it.

fun fact: the ancient Greeks did often have names that were meant to have sway on their lives! for example: Hedistē ("most delightful"), Demotimos ("honored among the people"), Hippodamas ("horse-tamer"), Nikomachē ("victorious in battle").

additional fun fact: I asked one of the mods of the iCarly wiki, and they said I could put the family tree I made on the page for Socko's Family! :D

look! it's my thing! the thing that I made! how cool is that?!

(I'll be real; I am way too proud of this)

yes, two of Socko's family members have inaptronyms instead of aptronyms: Harry (bald) and Jean (allergic to denim). but in my mind, they still count – the names are still weirdly suited to their specific lives.

since I'm pretty sure "Freight Dog" is a nickname, I also took a crack at what I think his legal name might be. my theory? "Aaron".

(get it? Aaron? because he's in the air? okay, I'll see myself out.)

anyway, my new hobby is coming up with more family members for Socko to have. descend with me into the deepest reaches of The Headcanon Zone, and behold:

Lisa: She's a landlord (she leases apartments). Socko hates her.

Barry: A big ol' bear of a man. Or he could work for Gund or Build-a-Bear or something. That could be fun!

Mike: Audio technician

Amy: Sharpshooter

Summer: Camp counselor

Tony: Orthopedist. (toe-knee)

Marty: Owns and operates a supermarket

and because it's fun, my friend @wonderbound joined in and came up with these super great ones:

Drew: Illustrator

Cody: Programmer or hacker

Pete: Bryologist (he studies moss!)

Norm: He's just a guy

Flo: Plumber – or maybe, an expert in fluid dynamics

Hattie: Milliner (she makes hats)

Howl: Werewolf (or perhaps, the owner of a moving castle 👀)

Will: Estate planning attorney (he writes wills)

anyway, I think that's about it. thanks for coming with me on this adventure! I hope it was as much of a rollercoaster to read as it was to write, because yeah, it was a weird one over here.

I mean, it started out normal? but then the next thing I knew, I had gotten invested, made nine edits to the iCarly wiki, and designed that whole family tree. so I think maybe I went a little overboard with this one. xD

tune in next time, for…I dunno. I think my brain needs a break after that. but, eventually I would love to write more meta! just…maybe not all for iCarly? I have some things to say about Gravity Falls that I think are gonna blow your minds.

(not really; I just think it's great)

[mothxmoons]

More soulmate au pls

I fucking love soulmate aus!!!

Personally, I adore the red string of fate, the constant reminder that you have a soulmate out there, and some are brave enough to chase the string down. Wesker doesn’t seem like that kind of person, he knows he has one, it’s his only way of knowing he was born and not manufactured. A small source of comfort. Whether or not he chases his soulmate down, since he pretty much can if he wanted to, entirely depends on which era is chasing you down. Or with Leon who’s chasing down the string constantly….hah…

I also love first words to on the wrist, that one sentence, letting you know that you’re going to meet your soulmate one way or another. It’s really funny in RE! Wesker looking at his wrist every now and again, with the words imprinted on his skin, “Ok, matrix ripoff, let’s calm down.” He doesn’t even know what the matrix is.

Or writing and drawing on your skin also appears on your soulmate’s skin. Love that one too. He wakes up to new doodles or notes everyday on his hand or arm. They range from, “Punch Bernard in the face,” “Pick up cat from vet,” or “You better be drinking water I swear to god,” just notes to either yourself or him. Including your number if he ever wants it.

Alternatively soulmate scars! I can’t imagine the scars you’d get with Wesker as your soulmate. Or the ones he’d get from you too. You won’t get the pain from them, but at least you got some badass scars! He will feel a little guilty about them though, although it is hot to see them, he must admit.