#i am safe nobody pays attention

[wily-one24]

How old were you when you realised you were bi? Who was your first girl crush?

This is actually a really tough question, Nonny.

I will try to answer as honestly as I can and hope that will suffice.

I'm not sure it's a questions of "realising" I was bi, so much as "accepting" it.

I grew up with undiagnosed autism, so I struggled a lot to fit in anywhere, let alone at home. Spent a lot of time being told I was wrong and the things I was doing were wrong. I had to work very hard to fit in, to read the room, and to make myself acceptable to society.

Added to that, I had several chronic conditions that made a lot of extra care necessary for my survival and I was made very aware of how much trouble this caused my family.

I also grew up in a very outwardly homophobic family. They have improved a lot, and nowadays they would claim absolute acceptance, but when I was growing up, that was certainly not the case. There were a lot (A LOT) of hostile comments made about gay people, lesbians, bi people. There was a lot of othering going on.

So, to me, i guess it was never really an option to be different. I never accepted that as something I could do, because it would other me, it would drive a further wedge between me and what was seen as acceptable.

That said, I always kinda knew i was different in that sense. I struggled to ever find attraction to boys or men and trying to fit in with a bunch of teen girls who were asking about crushes was a nightmare.

And yet, if asked, I could rattle of a list of top ten, twenty, fifty female celebrities that I would absolutely "turn" for if I could. Not so many guys.

Looking back, I can name several women and girls that I really, really admired that I would call crushes now.

But that's normal, right? ALL women can rattle of the ladies they'd turn gay for, right? That's just... normal.

I was normal. I was acceptable. I found a boyfriend who was 500% more into me than I was him and it was easy. I settled into a relationship, without needing to really put any effort into it. I married him. I had two children with him. I was 50000000% happier with the children than with him.

By the time I had my second child, we split. He was absolutely feeling the not love, there were some bad times, we split. I was so much happier and comfortable SINGLE than I ever was in a relationship.

And this allowed me to say "you know what? I give up, bisexual it fucking is! I LOVE THE LADIES!"

But it was not a grand realisation. It was not a surprise.

I am still not vocally out in my real life (well, I am to my friends and my ex... which, btw, we have very similar tastes in ladies... not to my family or workplace), but I am not ashamed. One of my favourite tees is the bisexual flag in the shape of a heart that I wear ALL THE TIME. All anyone has to do is pay attention. I am openly and vocal about my acceptance of any and all future partners or gender presentations to my children.

And if I were to get a girlfriend in real life, you can bet that I would tell people. It would be no secret, she would come with me to family dinners and anyone who had a problem with it could go fuck themselves.

There is no point stirring up shit in my family until that happens. Those that matter in my life know the truth.

Everyone else is extraneous.

[patchesproblem]

The monthly Tesla discourse is on my twitter timeline. Yay. /s

[yourfavpasifikacreator]

hii!! could you do clarisse la rue x reader that’s in the aphrodite cabin, where clarisse and the reader of close friends and clarisse is very what’s the word almost like a bit flirty with them kind of! like having her hands on heir waist and hips since the reader is shorter then clarisse and late at night the reader sneaks into the area cabin to spend the night with clarisse and with a little bit of time they confess to eachother while facing eachother on the bed laying down!! (their could be a heated make out sesh if you want, doesn’t really matter!)

A/n: YESSS I LOVE THIS

Warning: fluff short kiss a yeah!

you and Clarisse were very close and everyone knew that you two were close once this new kid came she pushed him onto the ground you were there

"Clarisse? That's a bit mean don't you think?" you said kindly helping the boy up you smiled as Clarisse just sighed

"he was never hurt, sweetheart I don't know why you always get involved," she said looking at you with heart eyes the tip of her finger lifting your chin up everyone just stared at you two and the new kid was just like "What the fuck"

you looked at her feeling the tip of her fingers you quickly took her fingers away and said embarrassed "Ahem, sorry everyone." you turned to look away from her when you looked at her she had this smug smirk you wish you could just wipe that smug smile off her face with your cherry lipgloss.

you two were training you were trying so hard to shoot the bow properly

Clarisse came up to you from behind "Here let me show, you how to hold it properly to shoot, sweetie" she said holding your hand up-right your face felt a light shade of blush was on your face "thanks Clari" Nobody was here but you two most of the kids were out eating lunch at this time so you two always trained together.

at night while everyone was at the campfire you two were in her bed lying next to each other It was easy for you to sneak out

"Clarisse? you awake?" you spoke softly as Clarisse looked at you tiredly as she hugged you from behind. as she inhaled your scent "yeah I am? what do you need?

you sighed "I just wanted to know if you were angry at me?" you said quietly you turned to look at her she sighed she knew you were going to ask about this.

"Now, why would I be mad at someone as pretty as you?" she said paying attention to your face caressing your face softly God. you wish you could just die in her soft hands you felt so weak when she's like this.

"Sorry, maybe I overthink shit" you sighed you wished for as long as you two were friends that she was yours

"You know y/n... I have something confess." you looked oblivious to what she was going say next, you felt anxious this is the first time you've ever felt anxious with her you two were always relaxed.

"Yeah, you can always tell me anything clari I'm always here for you, you know that." you were right for her you were her safe place.

"y/n I like you". the words fell on your ears like clouds you kissed her quickly savouring she you closed your eyes as then she bited your lip softly making you let out a soft moan she smiles then you two broke the kiss. the same smug smirk she had before.

"so, this means we are together?" you said kindly smiling as sun hit your face gracefully like always "of course, princess." she said holding your waist smiling.

[kaalboishakhi]

Men are struggling and fighting for the safety of your nation and yet ungrateful females like you have reasons to believe that you are not safe. R@pe cases are rare in India compared to other countries and many cases are fake. Whenever a man is accused of a false r@pe, nobody pays attention because our pain is not considered a pain. Women show their cleavage, roam at night with their boyfriends, cheats on their partners and believe that they deserve to be treated with respect. A man is not even treated properly if he doesn't bring anything to the table .... Goahead blame men shamelessly but remember you get independence because of men only 😕

78 years of independence. independence from what? what safety?women are in a constant state of vigilance, like a country on terrorist alert. no democracy is a democracy when half its population lives in fear. this cultural agreement that women have little value. which means in turn that girls must be trained to act as if they do not exist, to minimise their presence to survive, to serve men and not inconvenience them. this is how India treats women. the man worshipping is sky rocketing, women crippling other women down is the highest level of patriarchy. no environment, no territory, no generation is spared the violence done to women. from the moment we enter crying to the moment we leave dying, if youre a woman that is your biggest crime. we speak up, they try to shoot us down. we exist, they try to burn us alive. yes i am dehumanizing men, because it wasnt a woman who tore that girl limb from limb left her mouth and eyes bleeding alike. men dont care about other men, men dont care about other women. if you feel offended, you are part of the problem. you need to be locked up or you need to change. yes i am dehumanizing the government because only some kind of monster could overlook hate crimes as such.

not everything is about men. why are you so entitled to raise your voices louder when women raise their voices loud. it's not a competition, if you have issues, raise them. don't you think it's ironical and hypocritical to raise awareness about "internalized misandry" only after a heinous crime such as this has taken place? men dont care about other men or they would be out on the streets demanding the government for justice. if women are misandrists, speak against it. but now is not the time to do that, this is not the time to highlight the faults of women.

[writingforstraykids]

Make some room

Pairing: Chanlix x femReader

Word Count: 604

Summary: After a long day, all you want is to cuddle up with your husband. Until your other husband comes along, wanting the same thing.

Warnings/Tags: fluff, cuddles, husband!chan, husband!felix, domestic stuff

A/N:@miuracha💕

do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works in any way here or on other platforms. ©️writingforstraykids 2024 -

You relax deeper into your husband's arms, smiling as he fondles down your arms and intertwines your hands on your stomach. You can feel his ring against your hand, once more reminded that this is real. You, feeling like a nobody and unworthy of love your whole life, are married to Chan. He plants soft kisses on your hair and shoulder, cuddling you even closer as you both don't really pay attention to the movie but to your shared comfort. 

"Did Lixie say when he'll be back?" you ask curiously. 

"Why am I not enough?" Chan asks, and you can practically hear him pout. 

"Channie, angel," you laugh and roll your eyes playfully. "I'm just wondering. You know how much I love having you both home." 

"I know, I know," he giggles and kisses your cheek fondly. "He said he wouldn't take too long today, whatever that's supposed to mean." 

"Definitely earlier than when you say that," you tease him, and now it's Chan's turn to roll his eyes. 

"Charming, baby girl," he laughs. No matter how much he pretends to be bothered by your teasing, both of your heads shoot up at the sound of the front door opening. 

Felix drags himself into the apartment and beams at the sight of you both. "Look at you two," he smiles and immediately joins you on the floor, practically throwing himself on top of you. 

"Someone's clingy," you giggle. 

"Don't judge me, missed you two," he explains himself tiredly and Chan reaches down to ruffle his hair adoringly. 

"Hey, hubby," he smirks, and Felix hums softly. "Had a good day?"

"Was alright," he mutters and glances up at you. "Make some room? Wanna cuddle too," he pouts. 

You giggle before scooting to the side a little and making space for him. Chan laughs as Felix cuddles right into him, grabbing your hand. "Such a baby." 

"I'm the youngest, fuck off," he grins and pokes your side. 

"No fighting, you two," Chan smirks amused. "You both want cuddles; I have enough love and space for both of you."

Felix giggles and leans over, stealing a kiss from you. "My beautiful Y/nnie," he says and fondles your hair. "You look so cute in my sweater." 

"Thanks," you mumble, blushing heavily at the compliment. You're still so easily flustered with them that it's ridiculous. 

"Look at her blushing," Felix giggles, and Chan glances down at you, cooing at you. 

"It's so easy to make you blush, baby," he giggles delightedly. 

"Fuck off, both of you," you protest half-heartedly, melting on the inside at how excited they get about making you blush. 

"We love you too, cutie," Felix smirks before attacking you with kisses all over your face. 

You try to get away, giggling and yelping in protest as Chan holds you back with a whine. "No leaving, baby girl," he states. "Felix only got here; I still wanna cuddle my babies." 

"Fucks sake, I'm married to two clingy dumbasses," you sigh playfully, annoyed, but cuddle right back into him. You pull Felix into your hug and kiss his fluffy blonde hair. "Glad you're back home." 

"Me too," he smiles. 

Chan kisses both of your heads and squeezes you tightly. "I love you two, but shut up now; I don't wanna miss the movie." 

"As if you paid attention so far," you snort at him but do as he says. 

MASTERLISTS | PROMPT LIST | GUIDELINES

A comfortable silence settles in the room between the three of you, and Felix is soon deep asleep in your arms. You have never felt as safe as you do with them, and you wouldn't trade a second.

Taglist: (Please let me know if you want to be added to/removed from the taglist!)

@kai-lee08 @atinyniki @sona1800 @mal-lunar-28 @aaasia111 @galaxycatdrawz @kthstrawberryshortcake @soullostinspaceandtime @rebecca-johnson-28 @malfoygalaxies@channieaddict

[drapopia]

like a doll's eyes (papa emeritus iv x reader)

pairing: papa emeritus iv x gender neutral reader

warnings: suggestive jokes

summary: After the most exhausting week in a while, you and Copia decide to cuddle up. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, Copia is ravenous.

word count: 1.2k

authors note: first time writing for copia like this! i am a little anxious to post this, but when am i not? anywho, likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated! requests and inbox are also open, so send a message if you feel so inclined! love ya'll <3

--------------

“Can you please pass me the cheese doodles?” 

“Cheese doodles? You mean cheese puffs?” 

“Do not scold me on words, cara/o.” 

You scoff incredulously, smiling to yourself. “Y’know, I get mad when you call yourself old, but you’re really showing your age with the usage of cheese doodle.” You lean over, grabbing the large tub of cheese puffs you had managed to snatch earlier from the dining hall. Usually you had to bring it back to the kitchens by morning, but Copia had some privileges. Such privileges included regular use of Clergy cars, first pick of seating at Black Mass, and apparently all the cheese puffs you wanted. You used to wonder just how he managed to get all of his Juicy Juices. The answer was that nobody had the guts to stop Papa from raiding the snack cabinets.

You hold the tub to your side, popping off the lid and setting in on the coffee table. Copia was currently leaning against you, his head against your tucked in knees. His hand was around your leg, petting it absentmindedly. His hands were degloved, though you couldn’t tell much of a difference through the lounge pants you had on, as well as the throw blanket tossed over your legs. Copia’s room tended to run cold, even during the winter. 

You lean over, turning over to see him lift his head up and look up at you. He had taken off his paints, the only hint of them ever being there was the small amount of black that had collected in the inner points of his eyes. His lips have a faint glossy sheen, the lip balm you had given him as a gift surely working its magic. Your hands dip into the tub and pull one brilliantly crunchy puff, retreating out of the tub and remaining pinned between your pointer finger and thumb. 

Copia looks at you, his head laid against your knee. His mouth opens, his hand leaving your leg and pointing towards his mouth. “Here, please. Thank you.” He says quietly, his tone teasing. 

You pull your hand back away from him slightly, cheese ball still between your fingers. “Didn’t you just brush your teeth before we started the movie?” Right now the two of you are watching Jaws, the heat of summer making you both yearn for a good summer spook. While you have been paying some attention, the both of you had been inclined to spend this time luxuriating in the quiet of Copia’s room. While it hadn’t been the most busy week, the days seemed to move slower than molasses in the blistering heat. Every minute of this week had drug on, leaving you with a deep exhaustion that only a night with your lovely Papa can cure. 

“Yes, I did, but now I am wanting a cheese doodle. I can just brush them again.” He shrugged, a small grin lighting up his face. You can’t help but notice just how deep the circles are under his eyes in the glow of the tv screen. 

You hum, trying to hide the smile desperately attempting to make itself known. “Is it safe to brush your teeth twice in one night? Won’t you get, like, fluoride poisoning?”

He frowns, a contemplative look passing over his eyes. “Hmm, I am not so sure. Maybe if I swallow my toothpaste?” 

You purse your lips questioningly, dangling the cheese ball over him. “And do you do that?” 

He scoffs, his lips turning up into a small smile, clearly satisfied with where this is going. “Nope, I have not done this. Maybe as a kid, I remember the bubblegum one was enjoyable.” 

You chuckle and mercifully decide to take pity on him, and the cheese ball descends, quickly popping into Copia’s mouth with a resounding crunch. He swallows quickly, his body rising from your knee to look at you at face level. “Hm, thank you cara. I am thinking that Papa needs more, will you give me another one please?” 

You giggle, meeting his gaze with an exaggerated look of surprise. “You’re going to turn into a cheese puff yourself at this rate.” 

Copia chuckles, leaning in and pressing a kiss to your cheek, his lips soft and slightly sticky against your skin. While distracted by his sweet gesture, his hands come to grasp around your hips, pulling you towards him on the couch. His kisses continue, pressed slowly against your face. 

“I can be a cheese puff, I do not care about this. Would you eat me?” He whispers softly, his arms finally holding you around your middle. You giggle, no longer being able to ignore the feathery kisses that are quite honestly, starting to tickle you in the most pleasant way. 

“Is this some weird roleplay?” You whisper back, feeling his lips curl into a grin against the skin of your neck. You start to relax into his arms, his skin warm against where your sweatshirt has ridden up. He sighs, hot puffs of warmth into your deliciously soft skin. 

“Eh, maybe. I would not want to be a cheese doodle, maybe an Oreo. The makeup, si?” He says plainly, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. 

You can’t hold in the laugh that bubbles up in your chest, and neither can he. You relax against the shoulder of the couch, Copia falling onto your stomach with a small puff of air. You raise your hands, running them through the brown and silver that captivates you every day. It’s getting a bit long, you notice, and make a note to yourself to ask if he wants to schedule an appointment with his hairstylist. But for now you’ll enjoy the way the softness of it feels against your palms.

Copia sighs, and his shoulders relax at your kind touch. He would not give this up, not for anything. The feeling of your body against his is a balm to his heart, the thing he looks forward to curling up against at the end of the day. He doesn’t want to remember a time before he had heard your jokes, the way you giggle against his neck, the way you say his name so sweetly. 

“You are so soft.” He mumbles, his cheek nestled against your stomach. 

You smile, the feeling of absolute adoration you can never avoid when you’re with him making itself known. “And you’re sweet.” You whisper. You watch his eyes go from half lidded to closed, his eyelids flickering at the lights of the TV screen. Jaws has been long forgotten, Quint is hanging halfway out of the shark's jaws in a lifeless heap as it slides back into the deep. 

Your hands gingerly leave his hair, where they let the tub sit on the ground, not caring about the lid. You can feel yourself slip into the sleep you’ve desperately needed, the warm weight of Copia pulling you away from reality. Your hands return, relocating to his shoulders and resting there. His breath has evened out to nasally snores, soft wheezy rasps that surprisingly have never bothered you, only endeared him further to you. 

“Love you.” You whisper, your eyes slipping closed as the movie continues, Copia does not respond, but the way his arms wrap around your middle so softly and the way his cheek presses further into your tummy only makes your heart clench in a way you’ve only ever felt for him, and will remain so.

[misskuromichan]

Hi! You thought I was finished? Nope, not at all. Here's your reminder that we've reached day 106 of the genocide in Palestine. We should NOT be reaching 100+ days of a LITERAL MASSACRE. Therefore, I'm not going to let y'all live this down, because NOBODY should be okay with what's going on. Once again: Men, women, and children are being brutally tortured, mocked, and massacred by IOF soldiers. Gaza has gone without Internet for a week, and god forbid more are being killed without anyone's knowledge. How can anyone sit here and not be disgusted by the fact that tens of thousands of Palestinians have been killed for existing, yet these colonizing monsters aren't being punished for being inhumane including the US and UK, who are definitely contributors to this?? The occupation NEEDS to stop. No person on this earth deserves to be wiped out so senselessly.

Another thing: If, for some godforsaken reason, the world has the audacity to make this evil genocide go on for 365 days, I will be SO GODDAMN PISSED. I am once again asking for you all to STOP ABANDONING YOUR HUMANITY AND RAISE YOUR VOICES. SCREAM IF YOU HAVE TO. WE NEED TO BE WASPS IN THE EARS OF OUR REPS. ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO LIVE IN COMPLICIT COUNTRIES. I'm sick of seeing people's lives be cut short, all because some can't be bothered to care. I'm standing with Palestine and doing the best I can to help. You should be too, it's your obligation and your right as a human to care about them. No more dead children. No more dead civilians. No more mocking the innocent. No more famine. No more displacement. No more erasure of culture. Free Palestine, Free Palestine, Free Palestine 🇵🇸

P.S.: Pay attention to other genocides as well, like in Sudan and the Congo. Keep your eyes on all the countries that are forced to survive a genocide, because they need their freedom too. Everybody needs and deserves to be freed from oppression. Keep talking about everything! To everyone who's going through these genocides, I love and care about you. I'm proud of you for perservering, and I want y'all to get your land back. Stay safe, be careful, and always know that there are people fighting for you all and your freedom. You shouldn't have to prove that you're worthy of living a life free of occupation and cruelty: you were already worthy the second you were conceived. You are not just numbers and statistics. Your lives, cultures, families, and experiences are just as essential as anyone else's, and deserve to be kept alive and remembered.

Nobody's free until EVERYONE is free.

[oniraki]

Broken into fractures

Pairing : Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader

TW : Mental health, Psych ward, mentions of : self harm, suicide wishes/attempts , severe trauma (both Simon and reader), dark themes , angst, hurt/comfort , swearing , nicotine and psychiatric medication/sedation use - maybe too much tagging but it's better safe than sorry I guess?

AN : inspired by all the fantastic artists and writers here I gathered the courage to try and write something up myself. Hope I don't mess shit up .. please have patience with me for I really don't know what I am doing right now (and English is not my first language..)

"you're in time out Mr.Riley.." his psychiatrist says in a hushed tone, making Simon's head throb painfully. He does not like that bawbag of a man with his silly round glasses and his pathetic attempts to comb his hair in a way, that would hide his growing baldness. Simon tries to focus on Doc.Hershal's words but instead his eyes are glued to a coffee stain on the man's button down.

"Mr.Riley do you even pay attention?" A grunt is the only response that so called doctor gets out of him. The man sighs. "You hurt another patient, Mr.Riley.." he tries again and Simon chuckles hoarsely. "I'm well aware of that. He had it coming for some time .." - "You broke his nose." The doctor states more urgently, observing Simon's features as far as possible, since half of his face is hidden behind a black scarf.

"Fucking hell..should've broken his neck instead." Dr.Hershal shakes his head. "We have talked about this plenty of times, didn't we, Mr.Riley? This is no healthy way of coping with your feelings. This is unacceptable behavior above all of it. Every patient has a right to be here, to heal and to be safe while doing so"

Simon could feel his blood boil, hear it rushing through his whole body. Safety? He was talking about safety after all, that happened earlier that day? "Where was her right of safety when that fucker had his hands all over her...?!" The psychiatrist nods "I have heard about the incident. But that does not justify your aggressive behavior. That was something to be dealt with by the hospitals staff, Mr.Riley."

Incident. The nurses should've handled this. "And still nobody showed up fast enough to put her out of her misery, for fucks sake!"

His heart was beating way too fast, his bruised hands shaking in his lap. Knuckles cut open from that other man's broken teeth. He felt no shame, no regret. He'd do it all over again. Do anything to keep you safe, to protect you from harm. Even if it ment that he had to be locked up here longer than he had anticipated.

He'd do it for you.

Anything..

_______

The light was nearly blinding you as you crossed the threshold of the door, leading to the cage on the hospitals rooftop. You've never been entitled to garden privileges, going out alone and wandering around the paths between old trees and decorative bushes. You couldn't be trusted, the nurses always explained with that sorry, kinda pittying smile on their faces. You'd be a danger to yourself, they'd argue. Couldn't risk you hurting yourself, fulfilling your death wish..

The cage was just a sorry excuse of a garden. An area with fake grass and plants, some benches, secured by a Chain-link fence.. but it was your only escape from the sterile and sad gray walls of the ward, crushing you between them until you couldn't breathe. Closing you in, never letting you go. The flickering of the neon lights, the squeaking of the linoleum floor. Cold,blood sucking fingers that had a hold of you. Everything designed to torture and torment you furthermore.

The only way for you to leave that place was in a body bag. That much you were sure of.

"Hey scare-bear.." you whispered as you let yourself slump down on the fake grass next to Simon. He didn't even flinch or look at you at your sudden intrusion of his space. Not even when your head was leaning against his biceps. No words or sounds left his lips as he fetched a cigarette out of the box, lighting it up on the one he was smoking and then offering it to you. You stayed in comfortable silence for a smoke or two. Simon could feel the tension leaving his body, how his shoulders relaxed more and more with every passing minute. You were here. With him. Not in the observation room with that big window, directly connected to the nurses office. Not sedated and fixated. Not alone.. never alone, as long as he could impede it.

You sneaked your arm around his, your hand engulfing his with featherlight touches. The nurses patched him up properly after his emergency session with Hershal.

"'m sorry, love." You could feel the vibration of Simon's voice. Calming and soothing as a lullaby. He still didn't look at you, instead he kept his gaze on the sundown, throwing another cigarette butt off of the roof. "nothing to be sorry for, Si. It's my fault they relieved you of all of your privileges.." you murmured kinda dejected, petting his hand ever so lovingly.

Simon huffed, shaking his head eagerly, nearly making his hood fall down. "I'd trade every fucking, meaningless privelege if that's what it takes to keep you safe. Stop acting like it was your fault. You didn't ask him to touch you.. should've killed that bastard the second he tried to get close to you the first time."

Your movements stilled for a long moment until you released a breath you didn't know you were holding.

"they all told you to stay away from me, didn't they...?" Your voice was merely anything above a whisper. Simon only grunted in response. "As if that's ever going to happen. Nothing can stop me from being near you, little gremlin."

"but what, if they're right, scare-bear?" You ask, now avoiding his gaze that lingers on your face. "What if.. I'm no good for you? Making your condition worse..?" You thought intensely about it for the last couple of weeks. Simon used to make progress, used to get better.. at least until you came along. Certainly it hast to be your fault. "Is that what they believe or what you believe?" He snapped at you, hating himself for the harshness in his voice immediately.

You heard the night nurses whisper about you and Simon. About you being a liability to him. Stopping his progress, pulling him down into your dark abyss.

Your mind began spiraling again.

"I need words, love. Talk to me.. don't shut me out. Not again.." he demanded softly, freeing his arm out of your grasp. He'd leave you, right ? Because he realized how much of a burden you were.

But instead of getting up and leaving he placed his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into him gently, as if he might break you.

But by now your thoughts and emotions were cutting too deep, pulling you into a kind of headspace where'd you go nonverbal ..

Burden. Threat. Liability. Rotten heart and soul inside a useless, broken body. Not good enough. Not loveable.

Why can't you finally die?

" 'm here, lovie. I got you." He whispered into the crown of your head. "It's okay not to be okay right now. We'll get through it, together."

Oh how you just wanted to believe him..

[suzukiblu]

Day seventeen of fic NaNoWriMo, obligatory sugar daddy Tim/sugar baby Kon AU.

“I think it's pretty normal to give someone a phone when you want to talk to them,” Tim lies. Bruce gives the other Bats burners sometimes, though. And also communicators. And Robin’s loaned plenty of allies communicators before, including Superboy. So it's normal in their circles, whether Kon actually knows they're both in said circles or not. 

“. . . I like the green one,” Kon says after a moment, which is a little bit of a surprise. It's a nice sort of deep, leafy color, Tim guesses, but he would've expected Kon to go for black or red or blue; maybe yellow. 

He wonders how green Hawaii is, come to think of it. 

And how much green Kon regularly sees these days, living underground in a lab. 

“Okay,” he says, then gestures towards the phone case display with his smoothie. “Let's get you a screen protector and a case too, just in case.” 

“You don’t have to,” Kon says. “I mean, I am gonna have my TTK on it.” 

“Yeah, but that only works if nobody knocks it off the table or something when you’re not holding it,” Tim says. “Besides, better safe than sorry, right?” 

“Um, okay,” Kon says. Tim leads him over to the phone cases, and Kon glances them over indecisively, clearly paying more attention to the price tags than personal preference. Tim decides distraction is the better part of valor, in this case. 

“I don’t recommend anything superhero-themed, for the record,” he jokes. Kon snorts. 

“That’s called a feint, thank you very much,” he informs him mock-primly. “Nobody’d think a superhero would actually have the balls to go around with a superhero-themed phone case.” 

“They’d think Superboy would,” Tim says in amusement. 

“. . . okay, fair,” Kon allows, making a face at himself. Tim laughs. 

“How about that one?” he suggests, pointing towards the second-most expensive one on the rack–so Kon will know money isn’t a concern, but also so Kon won’t realize he’s specifically doing it to make sure he knows money isn’t a concern. 

“It looks like a tire tread,” Kon says wryly, which is a fair assessment. It’s one of the heavy-duty cases, so it’s pretty bulky as it is, and the pattern on it is a little tire-like. 

“The ones down here have glitter, if that’s more your thing,” Tim replies in amusement, pointing again. 

“Glitter is more my thing,” Kon says, leaning over to peer down at the indicated row. Tim probably should’ve expected that response, considering, except also he would absolutely never have expected Kon to willingly admit to liking glitter. At least not without being concussed first. “Hmmmmm.” 

“That's a nice one,” Tim says. Kon’s looking at a green and blue case with bright gold glitter swirled all over it in abstract designs; it looks a bit like ocean water, if you look at it the right way. It’s definitely not going to be anywhere near as durable as the tire tread one would, but Tim isn’t particularly concerned about that anyway. He was gonna get accident insurance no matter what. Statistically speaking, Kon will probably go through more than a few of these. He hasn't had the same phone for longer than three months since starting up as Robin. Something always seems to happen to them. Usually a supervillain. 

“Too bad they don’t have anything with a cute little goat on it,” Kon jokes as he straightens back up, regrettably letting go of Tim's hand to take the green and blue glitter-case off the wall. “You know, commemorate our first date and all.” 

“That was not our first date,” Tim says, mildly disgruntled but mostly flustered by the idea. “I'd have planned a date a lot better than those morons planned their dumb heist. And bought you something from the gift shop, if nothing else.” 

“Could've just kept the goat, I guess, but Superman would've made me give it back anyway,” Kon muses idly as he looks over the case in his hand and takes another sip of his smoothie. “This is for the right model, right?” 

“Should be,” Tim says, though he double-checks anyway. “Yeah, no, you're good. Lemme go grab a clerk so we can get the plan set up. We'll just go through my name, I can probably set up autopay for the bill easier that way.” 

“Um, sure,” Kon says, biting his lip for a moment and then glancing sidelong at him. “So is this our first date, then?” 

“No,” Tim says, though technically it probably is. But given how Kon’s been acting about the idea that Tim would actually be interested in dedicating actual time and attention to him–“I'll take you somewhere nice for that.” 

“Somewhere nice?” Kon says, hiding a very unsubtle grin behind the phone case. It'd work better if his stupid pretty eyes weren't sparkling for it, Tim thinks in resigned accusation. Kon doesn’t ask what “somewhere nice” means, but Tim is already trying to figure out what restaurants he knows that might appeal to Kon’s palate. If he likes Hawaiian flavors . . . there’s some Asian influence in that, right? He thinks, anyway. Japanese, at least. Maybe Filipino? Polynesian? Any other influences or parallel cuisines he’d have to look up to figure out, though. 

Tim knows absolutely no Filipino or Polynesian restaurants, much less actually authentic Hawaiian ones. He could definitely do Japanese, though. Japanese would be easy. Just going to a restaurant isn’t much of a date, probably, and he can’t take Kon on patrol or anything like he and Steph used to do, but they could maybe go shopping in a nicer boutique or something? Or go to a museum for actual entertainment instead of just business, if Kon would be interested in something like that. Admittedly, it’s hard to picture him being particularly into museums as a concept, but it might be worth a try. 

Maybe he’d like the aquarium or planetarium more than something involving art or history or science, though. Those are a little cooler than just wandering through a bunch of random exhibits, Tim thinks. Or at least, they might appeal more to Kon. The ocean, or stars and planets, or . . . like, whatever, he guesses. 

He’ll have to do some recon, probably. Light interrogation. Figure out what Kon would be the most interested in. 

Or they could just go to the beach. It’d require a little bit of travel on his part, but likely wouldn’t be a big deal for Kon; he could just fly. Though in retrospect Kon’s probably spent about half his life on a beach, so maybe that’s not interesting enough. And the Jersey Shore probably wouldn’t measure up to Hawaii in his eyes, either. 

Hm. Yeah, Tim's definitely going to have to do some recon. 

Tim is possibly putting in too much effort here, considering Kon is going to lose interest in actually flirting with him in about five minutes. Kon never seems to really properly date anyone, as far as Tim's seen; just flirt around a lot. So he should be prioritizing shopping and apartment hunting, really, before Kon gets bored of the flavor of the week and wanders off. 

Tim Drake is not exactly an exciting date, so . . . yeah, Tim’s not expecting Kon to stay interested for long. He’s just got to take advantage of it for as long as it lasts to leverage Kon into letting him buy him that cul-de-sac and go from there, that’s all. Kon seems to stay friendly with the girls he flirts with even after things fizzle out or fail to go anywhere, so he assumes it won’t be any different with Tim Drake. As long as Kon’ll let him keep paying his way, that’s all that’s going to matter. 

Tim is really going to need to frontload that, though. Establish him paying for Kon as the new status quo very quickly and get Kon used to it before he loses interest in him, so he won’t feel awkward about accepting it by then. Or so Tim will already have signed all the paperwork and it’ll be too late for Kon to protest; whichever. 

He’s definitely going to have to frontload it.

[juicesgf]

Company {C.V}

𝑪𝒂𝒏 𝒘𝒆 𝒃𝒆, 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒘𝒆 𝒃𝒆, 𝒃𝒆 𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒉 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓'𝒔 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒂𝒏𝒚?

⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙ ⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺

Creeper had always been the odd one out. The one who was chosen last, or the one people often forgot was there. He had always pretended it never bothered him but lately he couldn’t pretend anymore. It had been taking a toll on him.

He decided to get out of the clubhouse and just go for a walk, while he was walking he noticed a girl sitting alone in the grass. He found it odd considering it was almost 2 am so he decided to make sure she was okay.

〰️

“Hey..” He spoke walking over but keeping a safe distance. The girl had looked up at him for a moment and he could have sworn he saw tears.

“Hi..” She whispered back

“Are you alright?” He questioned a bit more concerned now.

“I think so.” She responded honestly. She wiped her eyes before looking back up at the man. “Are you alright?”

Confusion flashed over his face for a moment. Nobody had ever asked him that before unless he was hurt. “I think so.”

A small smile formed on her face at his response. She looked around noticing they were the only ones out. “You can sit if you’d like, I promise I’m not a killer.”

He smiled at her words before deciding to sit. They sat in a comfortable silence for a minute before her confession startled him.

“I came out here to get away, my friends they uh, they never really pay much attention to me.”

For once in his life he didn’t feel so alone because of her words. “I know exactly what you mean.”

She turned her head looking over at the man admiring his features for a moment. “Your friends treat you like you’re not there too?”

He nodded his head looking up at the stars “All the time.” He whispered.

She turned her body so she was now facing him before sticking out her hand. “I’m, Y/n.”

A smile appeared on his face again as he turned his body putting his hand in hers. “Creeper.”

“Well, Creeper. Maybe we can be each others company.”

He scanned over her for a moment like she had done to him earlier. “Be eachother’s company.” He smiled

𝑳𝒆𝒕'𝒔 𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒉 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓'𝒔 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔 𝑩𝒆 𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒉 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓'𝒔 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒆

⠂⠁⠈⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠂⠁⠈⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁

I genuinely love Creeper sm and there honestly isn’t enough fics abt him! So if you guys have any requests feel free to lmk<3

[abilouwrites]

HOW YOU GET THE GIRL

Mat Barzal x fem!oc

Series Masterlist

ONE

I only like the bookstore during the night, when it’s slow and nobody’s around. The lights are flickering and the town suddenly goes quiet in contrast with the bustle of the busy mornings and heavy traffic of the day.

I only work here on the weekends for the closing shifts or the opening ones. Something to make a little more money to fall back on besides my adult corporate job. My parents are proud, more my father than my mother that I’ve begun my climb up the corporate ladder.

I don’t hate my job, far from it. Simply the long hours and bossy bosses that make me pull at my fingers and tug at my hair. Especially with my youth and admitted naivety, those at my job can be wary about me either in the break room or being hesitant to invite me out for drinks.

I’ve been told by my therapist that I rushed my childhood, skipping grades and taking collage classes while also taking highschool classes at the same time. I want to fight her on it, claim that I did have a childhood and had dreams but I know that I’m defending something I never had.

Two parents who were always fighting; hated eachother but swore to stay together because of their vows, “Hey Bella” I smile at the older lady standing at the counter as I tuck behind into the back room and set my purse onto the table and wrapping my apron around my body, “slow day?” I ask as I switch from heels to converse.

“Yeah, it’s the middle of the school season so all the kidlets are probably studying” she sighs out rubbing her tired eyes, “ok, I’m off. Be safe. Please” she reminds me as she pats my shoulder, “I’ll need you to come in a bit earlier tomorrow for the opening shift, we’re getting a new shipment of books for the month”

“Uhh, yeah yeah I can do that, so 5:30 instead of six?” I clarify, as I clock myself in on the timetable next to the register.

“Yes, thank you Emma. You’re a doll” She smiles and blows me a kiss exiting the building as the cold wind brushes against her; gently pulling at the greying blonde hair that’s always been tucked into a a little bun.

I turn on some music to keep my mind from straying as I walk around the store. Gently brushing my fingers against the creased spines and occasional leather covered book. Those nice collectors editions are always Romeo and Juliet, or Hamlet.

Personally I’ve thought Romeo and Juliet a bit childish and immature, but I’ve always been told I’m looking at it from a modern perspective. I believe that Romeo and Juliet is the way to not fall in love.

But then again, that’s coming from the girl who watched her parents try and fix an already broken marriage by having an abundance of kids and forcing themselves to stay together even though, everyone’s known they’d be better apart. Even their own kids.

I tidy up the reading corner, setting the old book. Princess and the pea back onto the shelf and searching for the one tomorrow.

My my fingers pull and push against the covers of the kids books, looking for something different. I don’t pay attention when the bell jingles and jangles while I hear a heavy step quickly become softer. I hear them physically relax as they walk the isles.

I eventually decide on a book with a unicorn and a blonde girl. Something I fondly remember of my own childhood.

I stretch up a little and let my hair down from its clip, it falls unevenly against my shoulders but I don’t mind or even care that much. This bookstore is my happy place; where I am safe and content within my own body. Here I will never care what I look like.

I view the man searching in the fiction section, something specific I can tell by his body language. If he needs help I’ll allow him to ask; yet I’m wary of going up to a man and guiding him to the book.

When he finally notices me watching him he turns around and asks, “do you know where I can find ‘The road’ it’s uh. Geez by I think by Cormac McCarthy?” He stumbles out; slowly dragging a hand across his face and brushing his shaggy brown hair out of his eyes.

His face is soft but sharp; his eyes evoke a warm bubbly feeling inside me. Eyes that make me feel comfortable being alone with him, “yes, I believe we only have a few left” I tell him, walking off to a different section of the store, “I know, our shop is set up weird” I explain.

“And why’s that?” He inquires, his pace isnt rushed or faster than mine. But relaxed and nonchalant. As if he has all the time in the world.

“The original owners, she has a special section called ‘Meine Leibe’ which I think translates to ‘My loves’ or ‘my life’ once she passed her daughter kept it the same so this little section would always be here for her. I find it endearing” I know I ramble on a bit but I’ve suddenly grown afraid of having a silence against the two of us

“It is, it’s just a little place with all her favorite books?” He keeps asking, as I turn into the cozy little corner. I thumb through the alphabetical order.

“Yeah, her favorite chair, pillows. Shannon was such a kind lady” I reminisce, “here is The Road, is there anything else I can help you with? Or will that be all for today?”

“Uhh, ha unless you have ‘The deal’ by Elle Kennedy then I’ll take that too” I think he’s being sarcastic but I can’t really tell.

“I think we do, are you a hockey fan?” I ask walking to the romance section.

“I guess you could say that, do you watch?” He asks, “do you need a hand?”

“I watch a bit, just the New Jersey Devils with my dad. Yeah it’s just above there” I point, even on my tip toes the store has ceiling high bookshelves. And because it’s night the ladders been locked up. I move to the side as he grabs the book.

“Are you from Jersey?”

“Yeah, I lived there before I came to New York for a work deal”

“I’m going to assume it’s not this job.. right?” As he makes his way to the register and I slink behind the counter

“Yeah, my uh big girl job as my mom likes to address it as” I hear the roll in my eyes as I scan the bar codes and ring him up, “will that be with cash or card?”

“Card” He pulls his wallet out of the front pocket of his jacket, “thank you”, he checks for my name eyes staring just above but also at my chest.

I poke my eyebrows up at him praying to god this man isn’t looking at my tits directly; not even with the slightest bit of discretion.

“I’m uh looking for your name to thank you— I swear I’m not looking at your uh. You know boobs” he almost whispers out the last bit before continuing, “not that they aren’t nice or anything but uh” the tips of his ears turn pink and his cheeks suddenly become flushed, “I will just pay now” he groans out softly; handing me his card and rubbing his eyes with his hands.

I ring him up and he puts his pin in, “thank you again, you never told me your name” he questions for that piece of information

“Emma”

“Thank you Emma, have a good evening” he purses his lips and grabs his books. Hands shaking as he smiles and starts to leave.

“You too, wait” I lean over the bar slightly, “you never told me your name?”

“Mat”

“Alright then, have a good evening Mat. Come back soon”

The door jingles as he leaves and I watch him through the window, I see him sigh and smack his books against his head. Though I don’t exactly hear what he says; noises muffled through the glass and the music.

“Huh. What a strange guy”

[prince-liest]

Hi! About your staticradio series (which is PHENOMENAL omg😍) - I know you said Vox is kinda falling in love while Al will remain aro. Which is awesome, we love to see rep! But I'm wondering if they will end up as QPPs (who fuck, lol)? Or it'll strictly be FWBs? Gah it's diffifult to describe it bc labels are so subjective and often too limiting, but I guess what I'm asking is whether they'll have an emotional relationship too, however it might look with their orientations? Will Al in particular have any soft feels for Vox & be fond of their unique bond? Even if Vox is in love with him when Al himself isn't? (I worry that would scare Al away😭) An intimate emotional closeness regardless of the specifics?

Thank you so much!! I've been enjoying writing it enormously so it always brings me a lot of joy that other folks are, too. >:D Just a heads up, this post has turned a little long because it got me talking about Alastor and the way he handles his feelings vs his ego in general.

First: I think the answer to this depends fully on how you personally define a queerplatonic partnership! I don't think Alastor would ever go for, like, a committed relationship with Vox in any form, but I also don't think that this would necessarily be a sad state of affairs for Vox, who I obviously write as poly as fuck with his toxic yaoi husband. Maybe it's because I'm aro af, but I feel like from Vox's end, "Yeah, I get to fuck around with the guy I'm obsessed with and he's not, like, nice, but I think I Stockholmed him into giving a shit about me!" is not actually a state of affairs he'd dislike! Especially since it's got that shiny "I'm special!" vibe in the sense that Nobody Else Gets To Get This Far With Alastor.

As for Alastor's side of things...

I think that so much of their dynamic dynamic isn't just set by Alastor being aroace, it's also set by him being a fucking sadist and a narcissist, HAHA. Like, he is very much in the middle of developing feelings about Vox, which (if my favorite interpretation of his little breakdown in the finale is correct) is also where his character arc is heading with regards to the hotel crew in canon, too, but his friendship-and-trust arc is slowburn as all hell and not entirely linear.

Part of the fun in writing Alastor is the process of qualifying all of his feelings with his sense of superiority in a way that is protective of his ego. He is freely and openly fond of people when that fondness doesn't expose any kind of emotional vulnerability in him. For example: He feels a condescending but genuine fondness for Niffty and Mimzy, whom he protects, and that's safe! He's quirky friends with Rosy, who is a benevolent semi-equal who uplifts his ego, and that's safe! He... may or may not have started caring enough about the hotel crew to have put himself at risk for them, and that is not only dangerous to his physical well-being but also massively humiliating, which is arguably worse to someone like Alastor.

He has SO many ego-prioritizing defense mechanisms and it's fun for me to pay attention to because I, too, am someone whose cardinal sin is probably pride. Anything is permissible only as long as it can be framed in a way that doesn't insult his ego.

Anyway, the point is: I don't think "soft feels and fondness for their unique bond" is on the list of ways that Alastor is able to find himself feeling about someone like Vox. The whole reason their whole situation in 666: Live on Air! started is thanks to Alastor's awareness and amusement at how obsessed Vox is with him. He sees himself as above Vox, and knowing that Vox is more emotionally invested than he is is part of the appeal. It's just gone from (derogatory) to (fond). (Which is, guess what? Safe!)

(It also means realizing that Vox is falling madly in love or whatever just nets a reaction somewhere in the region of, "Wait, is that significantly different from what you were already doing?", lol, because the only thing that's changed is the flavor of feeling, not the level of exposed emotional underbelly that he thinks Vox is showing him.)

TL;DR: He likes Vox like a cat likes a favorite mouse.

[dreamypqulson]

— and i know we got some potential, cause that look you gave me was so gentle

summary: cordelia tutors you when you fall behind in your herbal class unbeknownst to her that the reason your so lost is because you can't take your mind off of her.

pairing: cordelia goode x reader

word count: 1200

a/n: i know i haven’t posted in awhile and i have requests that i have to write but this was just a little scrap that i’m deciding to post so nobody forgets about me! :)

It was awful, really. And you felt bad for it. For wasting her time. This is not going to help. If you needed some extra help in your herbal class, then you need assistance from Zoe, or Queenie, or Myrtle, someone who is not this woman.

It was comical, and you almost laughed right in her face when she ask you if you wanted her to tutor you later in the evening. You didn't need help. You were a smart and powerful which. You just needed her out of you head. There was too much of her to even pay attention to the task at hand.

And it hurt too. There was no denying that. With the many obvious signs that she was helplessly in love with you, you ignored them all. She's the supreme for god sakes. She was so close yet felt so out of your reach.

You were just wasting time in this goddamn greenhouse. Every minute with her counts, but right now, you were just staring straight at the wall behind her, daydreaming of what you could be doing instead. What— no, who you could be kissing and showing you truth to.

You hear her snapping and it pulls you out of your deep trances. It's honey brown eyes and hair golden in the moonlight that's shining through the roof window that you notice first. "Are you even listening?" She doesn't sound annoyed, but she's clearly had enough of this. All this. What even is this?

"I'm sorry, Miss Cordelia. I am, I just—"

"You don't have to call me that, ya know." It hurts too much to not call you it. If you call her Cordelia then it seems to real. She's not your mentor, not your supreme, she's Cordelia. And so you stand behind that Miss Cordelia barrier that you build. The one that Cordelia tries so hard to break down.

"I know." As you stare into her eyes so warm that you feel as though your melting, as they soften as they stare back at you, she cups you heated cheeks. You know that she feels how hot they are, you know that she knows what is going on with you, but still, she asks,

"What's really going on? You're one of my strongest witches, sweetie."

You truly want to tell her that she's so distracting because you've unwillingly fell in love with her. Because, then, maybe you'll be able to pay better attention in class. But instead you tell her, "I just haven't been sleeping right," sugarcoating your love for her and letting it melt in your mouth.

It's not a complete lie; because you cannot sleep when she walks by your room to assure that you are safe in bed. You cannot sleep when you've see her only an hour before your rest in a simple pajama slip. Milky silk and see-through if it were any thinner.

"We should make you a sleeping potion then." She knows your lying, but she is not going to force you to be honest. That's not what she is here for. She just wants you to be ready. She would wait forever for you to tell her how you feel.

And then she's gathering the ingredients. Patting around the greenhouse as soft as a spring day, and you have to look to see if she is even walking. Look to see that she's not flying around instead of walking like an angel that you could mistake her to be.

She stands behind you and her arms are locking you in between the table and her body. She's wearing a nightgown like every other night and you can feel her breasts press against your back. Your breath hitches and you think she notices because she asks if you're okay. You nod, because you cannot speak, you cannot do anything besides stand there as if you were built with cement.

Her blonde hair falls against your shoulder and you get a strong whiff of her lavender shampoo. She smells so sweet and you feel like you are being embraced by a fresh pastry.

"Do you remember one of the key ingredients for our sleeping potion?" She tests you, because she knows that the day she taught this, her shirt seemed to be just a little shorter cut than usual. She knows you weren't paying attention to sleep and potions and herbs that day.

"Um...," you feel so pathetic for not knowing. So useless. "No, not really."

She smiles still. You can hear it in her voice, "That's just alright. Chamomile is one of the main ingredients." She speaks softly and begins grinding the chamomile into the mixture. Her freckled arms rub against yours with each movement. Bare skin against bare, and you yearn for more.

These emotions are too strong for your body to handle. They cannot fit as you are too much already filled with Cordelia. You are going to explode if you don't let it out somehow. And so you stand there and permit silent tears to roll down your face.

You assume that Cordelia won't notice, but a warm tear ends up landing on her hand and she cannot stand there and pretend that it didn't happen. She doesn't want to make you uncomfortable, but the only way she knows to make everything better is to be upfront and loving.

She grabs your waist, gently, and turns your body so your facing her now. It's so close; you can feel her soft breath against your face and her legs are practically intertwined with yours. "I don't want you to lie to me anymore," she doesn't sound angry still, just so desperate. And you know you look a mess right now but she thinks you're so pretty.

"I don't think I know how to not do that," more tears fall down. You are so afraid because you know that it's too far this time. There is no going back to what you once were with Cordelia just an hour before this.

"Show me?"

Your trembling hands cup her cheeks this time, smooth beneath your palm. You don't want to pull her forward, you need her to show you that she isn't the supreme right now. You always need her.

"It's okay," she merely whispers, nods, and smiles softly. And you forget about you fears, about the sugarcoated emotions on your tongue. You lean forward and everything's so fuzzy and blurry around you; like a fever dream, but it's oh so real.

She moans into your mouth. She sounds so pretty against you. It's the perfect combination of her vanilla chapstick and your strawberry one to create the sweetest taste.

Her hands are still on your waist and she pulls back, but only her lips so she can rest her forehead against yours. "Not so scary, right?"

"Well i'm scared that I just fucked everything up."

She shakes her head and smiles delicately at you. "You didn't fuck anything up. I would've been out the door by now." Your laugh and hers are a soft melody that echo against the four walls of the greenhouse. She grabs your hands and tangles her slim fingers with yours. "I. love. you."

"Promise me that it's what you want." You still can't believe it. But you can't have it if it's not real.

"It's what I always wanted. What I wanted when I met you. What I want, still, now."

"Then you should know that I always wanted it. I love you too. So much."

taglist: @loverofallthingssarah @goodeday2u @lanawinters-ily @strawberryshorttcakkee @sapphicforsarahh @ahsfan05 @stayevildarling @isle-of-earle @cordithatgurl @mistysswampmud @billiedeansbitch @billiedeanspearls @cigaretteology @favoriteredhead @lovingsarah @cordeliass @citizenoftheworld-stuff-blog @multi-royalty-main

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[goth-pod]

Goth-Pod Ep 2: Dick Grayson

Welcome Back to Goth-Pod with Juda Boone!

(Despite the technical difficulties and change of format, we continue on! Gothamites are stubborn in that way.)

[goth-pod is a fictional in-universe podcast based on the DC comics universe. Juda Boone is an original fictional character, not based on any real person or known comic book character. The mentioned true crime podcast, "Gotham City's Best" is not a real podcast, that I know of.]

Transcript under the cut

Hello everyone and welcome back to Goth-Pod, your Gotham Based podcast! I am your favorite queer-as-in-strange host Juda Boone.

Today we are discussing a hot topic in our city. And I’d like for it to be known that a lesser host would make a “Emphasis on HOT” joke here. 

I come bearing bad news, everyone. We have lost one of our beloved Gotham citizens to the big city in the sky. 

Wait-no, sorry that was a total typo of my script. We lost a beloved citizen to the small city up the river. Don't know how those got mixed up. For those of you in the know, you probably have guessed that I am talking about Dick Grayson-Wayne’s recent move to our other sister city, Bludhaven. 

Dick Grayson is one of those names that any Gothamite paying attention will recognize. But for our non-native listeners, here's a quick run down.

Dick Grayson-Wayne is the adoptive son of Bruce Wayne. And if you don’t know who Bruce Wayne is, I’m sorry I can't help you. I don't- I don’t even know how you found this podcast if that’s the case. 

Now, I hear the word “nepotism” thrown around a lot when talking about Wayne’s Ward. But let us not forget that Grayson is a trained aerialist performer. He’s been doing insane stunts since he was a kid. Grayson was a talented, hard working kid who grew up into a talented adult. Though he does seem to be following Wayne footsteps in being something of a pretty playboy. And you know what? Good for him. 

If you’re curious about how Grayson came to the care of Bruce Wayne, feel free to check out my colleagues and close friends at Gotham City’s Best: A True Crime Podcast.

No matter where Grayson came from, or where he is going now, he is a beloved son of Gotham and we will definitely miss him. 

Grayson is not a Gotham-native, but Gotham has claimed him all the same. Tragedy, perseverance and finding your own family follow nobody the way it follows a true child of Gotham. 

All I have to say is: Good luck Bludhaven. You got a Wayne coming your way.

Thanks for joining! I’m Juda, you’re listening to Goth-Pod. Until next time, stay safe, Gotham.

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

As skeleton is chilling in his garden, a random man digs a hole in the lawn, looks around, apologizes because he got the wrong garden, then disappears back into the hole, all of this in two minutes. Reaction?

Undertale Sans - Uh. He tells the man there's no problem, and doesn't move from where he is, just taking a bath sun. He should probably be concerned that he thinks it's perfectly normal, but it's too much work. He puts back his sunglasses and goes back to snore.

Undertale Papyrus - Wait, it's legal to dig tunnels on the Surface? Nobody told him that! He waited his whole life to dig tunnels! He runs to his shed to grab a shovel and starts digging a tunnel to Undyne's house.

Underswap Sans - He's not too happy about a random stranger intruding his yard, but... At the same time... Free tunnel, dude! He jumps head first in it and starts to crawl, laughing like a gremlin to see where it's going. Blue loves too much rolling in the mud.

Underswap Papyrus - He doesn't feel safe. He goes back inside and starts to block all the doors, just in case. He doesn't like that random people can enter his yard when he doesn't pay attention. That's creepy. He also calls his brother for advice only to watch in despair as Blue jumps into the hole to find who's digging...

Underfell Sans - He's not happy. Wrong or not, the guy is not getting out like this. He makes a tiny blaster and sends it into the hole, and then he shoots. He's very satisfied to hear the man screams in agony. Also, there's now a huge crack in the yard and the house floor and Edge is going to kill him. First, he attacks, then he thinks about the consequences...

Underfell Papyrus - Like hell they're getting away. Edge doesn't care he's too big for the hole, he's crawling after the guy. Or at least, he tries. After like three minutes he realizes he can't crawl further, but that he also can't crawl backwards... He hates he has to call Undyne for help. Undyne who will just hits him "accidentally" with her shovel again and again just because he can't move and she thinks it's funny. If he sees that man again, they're dead.

Horrortale Sans - The man meets with Oak, on all fours, growling angrily, his big eye staring at him. The man decides it's best to retreat and slowly disappear inside the hole. Oak attacks, angry, and starts to dig to get them, but after like two minutes he gets tired, collapses head-first in the hole, and decides to sleep there lol. He even gets lectured by his brother who thinks he's the one who made the hole.

Horrortale Papyrus - Oh hell no you don't leave. He uses his very long arms to grab the man by the ankles and drags him out by the feet. You're not leaving before he lectures you for entering his yard illegally! What do you think this place is? A zoo?

Swapfell Sans - He grabs a huge rock instinctively and, screaming the aliens are attacking, smashes the guy on the head a good thirty times before realizing that it's actually a human and that... Well, he's dead now. Oh well.... He's already in a hole in the ground, so he just pushes it back and buries him there.

Swapfell Papyrus - The man is staring at him in shock. Rus is staring back. "Are you a martian?" "sure am, bud. wants me to make a martian noise?" "Please, yes! I waited for this all my life!" Rus rolls on the ground, making the 200 rubber chickens hiding in his jacket scream in agony. Thanks to Rus, the man is sure he's on Mars and that Rus is some sort of local alien. Rus thinks it's too funny and plays along. The guy is so disappointed when a random human walks in front of the house he goes back into his hole to cry.

Fellswap Gold Sans - When the man gets out, he finds a gun pointing at his head. Wine just says "NO." and the man, scared, quickly retreats back into the hole and crawls away in fear. Wine blocks the way with a few big rocks and goes back to whatever he was doing before this.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - He was watering the flowers when suddenly one flower transformed into a grown-up random human. Coffee is speechless. And terrified. Are all the flowers transformed into humans? Well, that's terrifying and he hates this. He throws his watering can at the man's head and runs inside, screaming for help.

[starmunchandthefunkybunch]

body language (and some other stuff) analysis: peter quill and rocket raccoon (roquill focused)

I am not a body language expert this is my theory based on body language research and studying the characters don't @ me.

We're doing this by movies folks!

GOTG VOL. 1

Rocket Raccoon and Peter Quill mirror each other constantly throughout the first film, constantly.

If Peter holds his hip, Rocket holds his, as soon as Peter relaxes his pose (both arms by his side), Rocket relaxes his.

Mirroring is a sign of attraction and I think it all started in the Kyln.

In the beginning, when they're in the Kyln, after getting sprayed with that goo, and Rocket walks in naked, his pose is very guarded and self-conscious because he's in a vulnerable position, (his shoulders rounded, his ears flicked slightly forward, and his eyes shifty while avoiding anyone's gaze, he adopts that pose many times, each time with Peter being mentioned or Peter being there, I'll get into that later) Peter, although curious, he...says...nothing. He doesn't take advantage of Rockets vulnerable state, he doesn't make fun of him, he doesn't pity him, he stays silent. That was the beginning of Rocket's affinity for him. That was the beginning of his little crush/like/appreciation/attraction.

(this scene always stood out to me for Rocket's posture and Peter's reaction to Rocket's scars and cybernetic enhancements. The 'unspoken things' passing between them.)

He starts to be aware of Peter's movements, and engaging in contact

- people say, 'hey why are Peter's hold ups explored, his hold ups with dating/being attracted to a raccoon (although rocket ain't a regular raccoon, he's person, a him, he's as much an animal as human beings are) and not Rocket's hold ups with dating a humie well here's this: he engages, multiple times, with Peter with touch. He initiates touch multiple times. He just doesn't really appreciate when someone else initiates touch. I honestly don't think rocket even thinks about it as humie vs raccoon. I think he more of thinks of it as his insecurities vs the world.

But Peter didn't mind his insecurities. So, he's aware of Peter's whereabouts, instantly scurries to follow him, puts a hand on his thigh, and whispers 'Quill', which is really a plea for not going further. He doesn't stop him, he asks him.

AND EVEN THEN!! they're mirroring each other. Or Rocket, more specifically, is mirroring Peter.

Eyes! Peter always, always, looks for Rocket and when Rocket does or says something, he looks for Peter, first.

The first person in trouble they both look for is each other, to make sure they're safe.

Peter immediately, after Rocket crashed his plane into Ronan, checked on him.

They're usually standing near or next to each other, with open arms and open torso. The only time Rocket closes this is when he's doing his, insecurities vs the world or vs the group, thing, or he's coming to a decision or he feels too vulnerable, or he's trying to be....firm....on his decision, so he'll cross his arms , look away, hunch his shoulders.

Peter actually sorta adopts the same pose when he's embarrassed, holding his arms closer together, messing with his fingers, looking away, hunching his shoulders.

Peter often ducks his head to meet Rocket's eyes, nobody else really does that, Rocket usually has to look up, and will swivel his head to pay attention to what Rocket says.

Interest ^ he's actively interested.

Rocket is invested in Peter, in the background often times, he's looking at Peter and observing what is going on

Rocket's super observant. He's even more observant with Peter. His ears twitch and his head tilts a little.

Interest ^ actively interested.

Anyways, overall, in the first movie, Rocket is a lot more touchy and close to Peter and Peter calls Rocket his friend two seconds after knowing him. Peter immediately sees him. There's a click! here.

This is what I like to call...a slight attraction, a small crush, on Rockets part. Peter? Peter thinks Rocket is interesting, he's his friend, c'mon, but Gamora? Gamora is the pretty girl that can kill him. He's already got a lot on his plate. He's already got someone.

There's an unspoken thing alright but it's not just the one you're focused on, buddy.

-my words to Peter ^

Mirroring, looking, choosing, interest. Tilted towards one another or paralleled, don't even get me started on the goddamn music! (That's for another time)

In GOTG VOL 2, all of that changes.

VOL 1 , Attraction

VOL 2, Love

GOTG VOL 2

Immediately, there's more of a rift between them.

It is so palpable. It's dense. There is an air between them, with Rocket in the beginning sorta trying to make Peter feel better about the high priestess being a not very nice lady and winking at Quill but it not being received well, and Peter not really joking too much with Rocket. Rocket pulling away. It's a very tense air. There is tension.

This movie, Rocket focuses on interacting with baby Groot, Gamora, Drax. He, unlike in the first movie, hardly ever interacts with Peter unless it's to tease him or to defend him (in the beginning of Vol. 2)

There's a noticeable pushing away.

And, unlike the first movie, there is little to none mirroring. There isn't any mirroring but there is a lot more, from Rocket's part, self conscious posing and guarded expression while Peter is still dynamic.

Possibly because Rocket is a little more closed off and he's compensating because he's not used to Rocket pulling away like he is, especially from Peter and on some level Peter doesn't know how to cope with that so it's making Peter agitated as well, and well

Rocket doesn't like to be open, vulnerable like that. He doesn't. So he's pushing Peter away.

And the reason why? The reason why he hunches his shoulders, his ears hang forward, and he avoids eye contact? The very things he does when he's feeling vulnerable? Is because he loves Peter and is trying to cover it up.

He loves him. What happened last time he loved someone dearly? What happened?? So he pushes them away so they don't get hurt because he blames himself for the hurt that's happened in the past.

He pushes Peter away.

He only ever adopts that body language in the movie when Peter is brought up or he is talking to Peter, and the only reason why he didn't act that way when getting the music together or whenever talking to the high priestess is because he was 1. Focusing on something else, and 2. He was defending Peter, he had his arms crossed in front of him in a defensive, guarded posture, his feet shifted slightly, and his chest puffed, because what the priestess said about Peter pissed him off.

(he is imperfect, his friends of past were imperfect, he's been dealing with this shit his whole life, he's mad, and trying to make Quill feel better. It doesn't work, the rift deepens, yadda yadda.)

When Yondu brings up Peter while they're waiting for baby Groot to grab the fin, Rocket does his vulnerable pose, whenever Peter leaves and tells him, 'are you trying to make everybody hate you?', he does that pose, and besides that he also does the pose when he's trying to get dressed in the Kyln, after getting sprayed down.

Another positioning aspect I noticed, is that, throughout vol 1 and vol 2, Rocket is in between Gamora and Peter. Consistently in between Gamora and Peter. The only time this ceases is after Yondu makes Rocket acknowledge he's in love with Peter ('for what? for honour? for love?' Rocket looking at Yondu with a heart broken expression of surprise because he saw through him, because he knows.) And Rocket and Peter mend their breaking chain by Rocket apologizing in his own way ('and he stole batteries he didn't need?' 'of course not.'). Because they needed to mend that broken chain, because Rocket needed to know that he felt the way he felt and accepted that and moved on with acceptance because Peter likes/loves Gamora. Peter doesn't feel that way about him. And so, after their relationship is mended, and Rocket realizes this, he literally and metaphorically moves out of the way of their relationship.

Only after Peter and Rocket's relationship is mended does Peter enter a relationship with Gamora.

Because! Peter and Rocket has always been the most important relationship in the group. Everything would go out of tilt if they had a rocky relationship. (heh puns)

Anyways. 2nd Vol. Love, and 1st vol. Attraction.

More Things I noticed:

Rocket's resting position is his arms crossed, and feet neutral, posture neutral. He crosses his arms often, but depending on the look on his face and the things goin on, changes why he's crossing them, and Peter's resting position is both his hands on his hips, sorta like he's about to put his fingers in his pockets. Both Peter and Rocket talk with their hands.

Whenever Pete is pissed, he brings his arms closer to his body and balls his fingers into fists. He, much like Rocket, goes from 0 to 100. Especially when it involves those he loves.

Whenever Rocket is pissed he spreads his feet evenly for more balance and brandishes his claws and shows his teeth (unless he has his guns, or he's drunk, then it's slightly different as with Peter.)

Whenever Mantis went to pet Rocket the first time, he was listening and barely snapped at her fingers with his teeth. He heard Drax joking, is my theory. He coulda snapped her fingers clean off. He didn't.

Peter has open body language most of the time, his arms open, and his feet apart, he becomes more closed off and tense when he's angry (body language right) and he becomes more deflated when he's embarrassed (shoulders hunched, eyes downcast, twiddling with fingers/thumbs, not as talkative)

Peter checks on Rocket more than he does anyone else when they are fighting (except baby Groot, he checks on baby Groot a lot, everyone does, he's baby Groot). Not out of lack of trust or doubt of capability but out of worry and care. When he was fighting Ego, he didn't look for Yondu during the fight, until after Yondu was already getting crushed, but multiple times, he looked for Rocket.

Whenever they landed in the area they needed to to connect the bomb to Egos core, Peter slid over Rocket and landed at his feet and Rocket smirked at him. (It was a soft, sorta fond smirk, not the devious smirk he usually does.)

This was a lot of information. I hope this made sense. I got distracted 60 times. I lost count and recounted. That's probably not an accurate number. Please leave questions in the notes for me to answer if you have any, and I will do GOTG VOL 3 after I have it so I can rewatch it as many times as I need.

Thank you, Rocket loves Peter, and Peter loves Rocket (although he doesn't really realize it in GOTG VOL 1 and 2. I think he knows there's a fondness maybe but it's not a conscious thing.)

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

I love gamora, please, she's amazing. This is not hating them, it's literally just a rocket and quill post.

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@cheeburgah99 @wisefoxluminary