#i am so happy everytime hes with his family

[stop-or-ill-tell]

I hope I marry someone like Lee Uk someday. Hell. I hope to be someone like Lee Uk.

[theyluvkarolina]

𝐋𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐁𝐘 𝐎𝐅 𝐃𝐎𝐔𝐁𝐓𝐒

· . ୨୧⭒๋࣭ ⭑ ` ` The monster's gone…He's on the run… And your daddy's here ` ` ⊹ ‧₊˚

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 ୨୧ being a father of a baby has it’s ups and downs, but stress gets to the best of us.

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 ୨୧ max, charles, lando, x fem!reader (separate)

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ୨୧ besides kids and pregnancy… jos verstappen (ALL MY HOMIES HATE JOS!!), a very very very small jules reference, google translated languages

𝐀/𝐍 ୨୧ heyyy… hey.. how ya’ll doing? 🫣🫣 FINALLY DONE! Sorry to be out for so long! not very happy with my lando piece though. I had a idea but I think i failed to execute it well :(. also, this this a very different format then what i’m used to doing now, so I hope you guys enjoy it 🩷

𝐌𝐀𝐗 𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐍

BEING a father was never a idea that made its way into Max’s mind, in fact, it’s something he’s scared of. From the get go, all he thought about and dedicated his time to was racing, from the break of dawn to the dead of night. If anything, if present day Max met himself in his teenage years, teenage Max would scoff in his face probably. With Jos, Max was on constant eggshells, were pleasing his father was forever his goal. But things change. Things changed since he started Formula One finally gaining some independence, and a noticeable change once he met you.

With you, Max felt loved. He never had to please you as long as he was being himself. He didn’t have to get first. He didn’t have to work his ass off everyday to impress his father. He got to show off his personality and didn’t have to suppress his stubbornness, or his humor. And he loved you for that.

Formula One will always be a priority, but Max’s tiers of importance changed 6 months ago, those 6 months ago where a new member of the Verstappen family entered the world. A little girl to be exact. Max never imagined himself as a father to a little girl, but after seeing her once she was born and getting to hold her, he wouldn’t change it for the world.

It was quiet. Perfectly quiet. The Monaco sun pushing its way through the blinds of the nursery as Max rocked back and forth in the chair, little girl in his arms, the sound of the waves hitting the rocks down at the shore being faintly heard from your guys’ apartment. It was early in the morning, 7 AM to be exact and as you rested up in bed, Max decided this will be his opportunity to spend some missed time with his little girl.

Looking down at her round face, he examined her features. The curve of her lips, the shape of her eyes, the silhouette of her nose. All of her features were yours besides her nose, inheriting Max’s profile. Everything was perfect to him. Too perfect.

The more Max looked at her stroking her cheek, the more he wondered if he was up for this.

He had no healthy representation of a father figure.

What if he lashed out at her like Jos did?

What if he can’t be the father she deserves?

What if-

“I know that look.” Your voice breaks him out of his trance. Max looked up from where he was sitting, seeing you stand in the doorway. “Care to share, Mr. Champion?” You asked, offering a smile, walking over to him.

“You’re supposed to be resting, Schatje.” He whispers out, getting up before placing the little one in the crib.

“Mom’s don’t get a chance to rest.” You say with a slight laugh before curving your lips into a frown. “What’s wrong Max?” You ask, wrapping your arms around his shoulders.

“It’s just-Godverdomme…” He starts, before turning to you. “Am I a good dad?”.

“Max… you are a amazing dad. I promise you. She loves you so much, you have no idea how much.” You reassure him.

“…I’m scared. I don’t want to turn into my dad.” He whispers out, moving his gaze to the little girl in the crib. “What if I turn into my dad?”

“Max, look at me. Will you?” You say putting a hand on his cheek, making his eyes meet yours. “You aren’t him and you never will be. Knowing that what your father did is the first step in the right direction. She loves you. Everytime she sees you on TV, she lights up like the sun. If you weren’t a good father, she wouldn’t have been so calm in your arms. You aren’t Jos, Max. You are you and I love you. I wouldn’t have married you if I knew otherwise.” You explain, giving him a soft smile as he looks back at you.

Max gives a tight lipped response, glancing back at his daughter, using his hand to smoothen her baby hairs and cracking a smile.

Maybe he is more prepared for his little girl than he thought…even the princess tea parties in the future. And he can’t wait.

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐋𝐄𝐂𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐂

CHARLES would give up the world if it meant being a father. Growing up with three brothers, it was only natural of him to want kids of his own.

When you showed him the pregnancy test at Austrian GP, and uttered the words of a “I’m pregnant” while in the garage, he officially marked it as the best day of his life, second to marriage of course. His eyes going comically wide before immediately lifting you up, spinning you around as the crowd cheered and the Ferrari staff members offering their congratulations.

As the months passed along with the trimesters, Charles treated you like a piece of fine china. You weren’t even allowed to stand after 2 minutes without Charles fussing like a mother hen.

“Y/N, chérie, please sit down!” Is most likely the most common sentence he’s said in his life for 9 months.

Since the delivery of your son, Charles has been supporting you nonstop, if anything, even more than during the pregnancy. The second Charles saw him, tears gathered in his eyes, and in those dark blue eyes, his little boy was the light of his life. A new beginning. A new motivation. A motivation to push himself even harder. A motivation to try his best in every grand prix, but most of all, a motivation to love you and your son till his last breath.

It was the dead of night, calm and tranquil before cries disrupt the silence of the night. Rubbing your eyes, and checking the clock to read 2:34 AM, letting out a sigh, you lift the sheets off the bed before a hand on your shoulder stops you.

“Go back to sleep amour, I’ll get him. You rest up, okay?” Charles says in a hushed tone, his voice still laced with sleep and his dark brown waves in a tangled mess from the pillow.

"But Charles, the season just finished... if anything you should-" You started before he placed a finger on your lips lightly.

"Sleep. Please. You've done more than enough when I was not here.." He pleaded.

Giving a nod, you slowly make your way back to bed, still awake though.

He cracks open the nursery room, lifting the little boy into his arms.

"Oh mon loulou, qu'est-ce que c'est ? Maman gave you food.. your diaper is changed..." Charles murmurs into to himself bouncing the little one up and down. The Ferrari driver was at a loss, nothing seemed to be wrong, but there was and he didn't know what to do as the crying simply continued.

"How about we take a walk?" Charles talked as if the little one can respond. The Monégasque steadily left the room, holding your son close before stopping in front of a photo taken of you and Charles on your first date. The photo shows you, smilingly a bit awkwardly at the camera, but charming nonetheless, with Charles next to you with a closed lip smile.

"There's maman at our first date. Doesn't she look pretty? Actually.. she is still the most beautiful woman in the world. She was very shy the entire time… “ Charles commented pointing at the photo, a smile gracing his lips. The little boys cries soon turn into whimpers, his little head turned to the image his parents.

“Oh, and here is of me and Maman at our wedding.” The driver commented, thinking fondly as he pointed to the photo next to it the previous. This time, it was of you both kissing underneath the arch of greenery and flowers. “This was before you were born…ou conçu” He muttered the last part..

You smiled at the not so subtle whispers of Charles as he recollects his memories from the past as the baby in his arms finally quiets down, Charles smoothening his tufts of dark hair that have become more apparent as time passed.

“And this… is when you were born…” Charles says with a smile before noticing that the baby fell asleep.

"You’re not exactly quiet y’know…” You say with a teasing tone.

“Y/N, what are you doing up still?” Charles questioned, adjusting the baby in his arms, slightly taken aback by your sudden presence. “…did you… hear everything?” He continued, a rosy tint lightly coating his cheeks in the dim light, as if a little kid caught red-handed.

“Well… the conversion was hard not to listen to.” You say, giving a tired smile. “He looks just like you, y’know that? From the lips, to the shape of his eyes… the curve of his nose…” You continue, taking the little one from his arms, giving a kiss to both him and Charles.

"Does he really?” Charles asked, turning to you with his bright, signature lopsided smile, his dimples showing before looking down at your son, his smirk slowly disappearing.

“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours? You seem worried…” You question, raising a brow with a concerned tone.

"Be honest with me…please?” He pleaded, seemingly embarrassed by the question he’s going to ask. You give a nod, signaling him to continue.

“Do you think he will hate me?” Charles blurted out. “I mean, I rarely spend time at home, leaving you to do all work in the apartment for more than half of the year and with the baby and your work- I just… I don’t want him to think that his father hates him for always travelling.“ You blink before sighing, placing your palm onto his cheek as you hold your son in one arm.

“Charles Marc Hervé Perceval Leclerc. Our little boy will never hate you or anything of the such. You are the sweetest, and most loving father any child can ask for. I trust you and I love you.” You comfort him, stroking his stubbly cheek, making his charming grin return.

“…Thank you.”

“There’s that smile I love. Now come on… not only does our little Jules need his sleep, we do too.”

𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐒

LANDO didn’t think he’d be a father so young. If anything, Lando planned his future superbly. Complete Formula One with at least a world championship underneath his belt, get married, move back to England to be close to family, and eventually start his own family. But sometimes you have to live in the present instead of the future.

Needless to say, your pregnancy was unplanned. With a celebration of a podium win, alcoholic drinks, and the lights of the club, one thing led to another. Telling him was the stressful part but everything turned out better than believed.

The second you told him, his eyes widened before asking a “..Are you serious?”. As soon as you confirmed a bright, boyish smile overtook him, wrapping you in a tight hug and placing kisses all over your face and eventually onto your lower abdomen. During your pregnancy, he wanted the world to know and proudly showed you off. That’s when you knew everything will be perfectly fine with you, him and your new addition to the family.

It would be lying to say that the performance of McLaren during the Japanese GP was great. The strategy was below average, the cars were not at their best performance, but most of all, no podium for Lando or Oscar. Lando was frustrated. Even though it’s so early in his career, Lando feels as if he’s falling behind. And having no wins is rubbing salt in the wound. Having to be known as the racer with such a noticable and bold personality, he wants to prove himself to not only the fans, but journalists that he capable of being a world champion in given time.

“Fuckin’ hell..” Lando muttered, running a hand through his curly hair as he sat down on his driver's room couch. P5. If anything, most drivers will dream of a P5, but Lando wanted more. What could he have done differently?

What if he reacted faster to the lights out?

What if he made that turn quicker?

What if he listened to his impulses?

Will he ever win a race in his life?

Will he always be a disappointment to his girlfriend and daughter?

“I can hear what you’re thinking from a mile away Lando.” You snap him out of his thoughts, turning his head to face you as you hold your daughter. “I came to check on you. You left right after the interviews and we couldn’t find you. This little lady started to get fussy without you.”

“Did she now?” He asked, giving a smile to overshadow his frowning from earlier. trying to steer the topic away from the attention on him.

“Lando, I’m worried about you. You’ve been so… distant lately. Tell me what’s wrong.” You try to persuade him, taking a seat onto the driver’s room coach next to him.

“You don’t need to worry, it’s nothing major. Just-“

“Just you being self-critical and thinking about what you can do different during the race even though you tried your best and have done everything you can given the car that you have?” You say, catching him off guard by how spot on you were.

“…well… that was spot on.” He comments jokingly, giving a rather melancholic look. “How did you know?”

“Lando, I’ve known you since we were 16 and started dating since we were 19. We are now 24 and have a kid together. I sure hope I get this stuff right.” You explained in a teasing tone, but a tender expression begins gracing your face. “Do you want to talk about it?” You question, placing a free hand noto his cheek in a comforting manner.

He gently moves your hand from his cheek, holding onto it instead. “I guess I just want to prove myself and not disappoint you, our little girl, and the team.”

“Lando, we are more than proud of you. Hell, we are above and beyond elevated with how you’ve been doing since you joined F1.” You comfort, adjusting the little one in your arms as she tried to grab your hair.

“…Even with no career wins..?” Lando asks, his gaze meeting yours.

“Look at me Lando. Having no wins is perfectly fine. The fact you even made it this far into your career is amazing in itself. You need to stop doubting yourself and taking away the credit you deserve.” You continue, giving a soft look.

“I don’t want to disappoint her when she gets older.” Lando explained, “Her father in Formula 1, driving for McLaren with no wins for 6 seasons so far. I don’t want her to be embarrassed by her classmates when she gets older because of me-” He sighed before a small hand patted his face harshly.

"BAH!” The little girl squealed, her hand still resting against Lando’s cheek.

Lando groaned, still a bit surprised by the sudden attack. “What is it silly girl? Are you not happy daddy is talking down on himself?” Lando asked, a genuine smile appearing on his face, taking her from your arms and placing her in his lap for her to stand on. She placed her hands on both of his cheeks now, as Lando stroked her curly hair back from her face.

“She’s just saying what we are thinking.” You laugh, resting your head on Lando’s shoulder.

“Saying? I’m not sure much saying is going on.” He replies with a raised brow.

“…You get what I mean.” You roll your eyes and get up from the couch.

“I do.” He answers with a smirk, also getting up while holding his daughter close to him.

“Come on now. Let’s get out of here and celebrate how far you’ve gotten.” You say giving Lando a kiss on the lips and a kiss to the little one’s forehead.

Yeah. Lando wouldn’t change this one bit.

[starkwlkr]

it’s nothing new | sebastian vettel

part 1 part 3

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED

update: i decided to make this into a series, thanks for reading! you can read it here!

“hello?”

“mark, hi.”

“y/n? it’s been a while. how are you?” the aussie asked. it had been years since you spoke to mark, but he always kept you updated. he sent messages about how everyone in the paddock was doing, which you appreciated him for.

“i . . i’m okay. is this a bad time to talk to you?” you asked. you suddenly remembered about time zones.

“it’s alright, i always have time for you. what’s going on?” he questioned.

“so i am at my sister’s house and i didn’t want to sleep the whole flight so i decided to read your book.” you replied. “it’s a beautiful book, mark.”

“thanks.” he knew there was more you wanted to say. “are you mad?”

“mad about what?” you asked. “what you wrote about sebastian and i? is that what you’re talking about?”

“well yeah. i tried to contact you several times. you wouldn’t answer my messages so i assumed you changed numbers. seb told me he didn’t care if i wrote it in—”

“mark, i’m not mad. i’m far from it. i just want to know if it’s true. did he tell you everything? the night he won the title, i mean.” you asked. you remembered that night clearly. you didn’t finish the race, but that didn’t stop you from celebrating with sebastian.

“he would never lie about you, love. i told him to tell you, just to get it off his chest but he wouldn’t. you were with someone else, it was wrong.” mark explained. “you know the day you announced your engagement, he hated himself for not telling you sooner. maybe things would’ve ended differently if he had.”

maybe . .

“does he hate me?”

there was always that possibility. but when it came to sebastian, he would rather die than say he hates you.

“he could never hate you even if you did throw a show at him and call him a cunt.” mark chuckled. “he still loves you, you know, he asks about you all the time and i have no idea what to tell him.”

“well maybe i could tell him myself . . do you have his phone number?”

after you were given seb’s number, you noticed he never changed it. you weren’t sure why, but you decided to text him instead of calling.

y/n

hi seb, it’s y/n. i know it’s been so long and i’m sorry for how things ended. i hope you’re doing great. i’m not doing too good right now. my marriage is ending so i have that going for me. i’m staying with my sister and her family. anyways, i hope you don’t mind me messaging you. mark gave me your number but turns out i still have it saved. speaking of mark, i read his book on the flight, it’s very interesting. i’ll leave you alone now, thanks for caring about me all these years.

after you sent the message, you didn’t expect a reply. it was as if he was waiting for a message this whole time.

seb

hi y/n. i hope you know i never forgot about you after all this time. i’m sorry about your marriage, i really am. i don’t mind at all that you message me, i never changed my number in hopes that one day you would. as for mark’s book, i hope you’re not mad, but if you need to know, it’s all true and i wouldn’t change anything. being with you made me happy and everytime i hear your name, i’m reminded of the joyful memories we shared. i have something to tell you, only a few people know. i plan to retire at the end of the 2022 season. it would be nice if you would come to abu dhabi for my last race. i understand if you can’t make it. take care and i love you always. (it’s nothing new at this point)

@hc-dutch @lightdragonrayne @multiplefandomwritings @woozarts @jggykhug09090 @neivivenaj @kissesandmartinis @barnestatic @avythef1addict

[alexisomnias]

— "CUTEST COUPLE IN TOWN" . . .

⤷ their family comments on how cute you would be married to him!

requested by anonymous ,,,

featuring the DORM LEADERS

RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS + chenya / trey

• its as if chenya never leaves him alone about this! his face is nearly always red everytime the idea of getting married to you gets brought up as a tease. whats worse is that he does want to marry you. so riddle can't even deny it! trey has his back on the occasional manner, whenever chenya brings up the idea of a happy marriage with you, it leaves riddle fuming for two separate reasons.

"what am i telling you trey? they're purrfect for eachother." chenya laughs, "i can't im-eow-gine them separating."

"i can see what you're talking about, they are rather a cute couple."

"shut up you both."

LEONA KINGERSCOLAR + farena

• leona is not a fan of his brother meeting you. why were you so insistent on meeting his family in the first place? it could've all been avoided. (he would sigh, but in the end there's some warmth in his heart seeing you fit in so well). for the most part, leona was phased out of the conversation. choosing to just instead lay on your side lazily, eyes shut.

• "you and Leona would make such a cute married couple!" farena casually throws out into the conversation, the dumb smile leona is so used to destroying his brothers face as his lions ear twitches., a scowl painting upon his face.

• "farena, mind your own." he mumbles, leaning further against you feeling your stomach bounce with laughter. he feels much better himself, in the arms of your own laughter. "be nice, Leona."

• he rolls his eyes, scoffing perhaps. classic leona behavior (the kind you grew to love), but if you took the time to translate it over to the language of love. leona would love to make you the ruler of his heart, for you already conquered his life.

AZUL ASHENGROTTO + mother / father

• azul was embarrassed. he knew his parents were less then... casual, but of course he loved them (as he loves you, which is why he hoped this interaction would go well: it did.), though he never expected for the topic of marriage to be brought up either in conversation. and the idea sent him into a romantic spiral, for how his heart beat at the thought of putting a ring on your finger. a ring to signify he was yours, and you were his.

• "M,,, mother! You shouldn't say things like that..." he stumbled, word tumbling over word. His mother merely laughed, his step-father joining in, and don't think azul missed hearing your chuckle from the side.

• "i'm sure you two would be adorable, married."

• azul did not deny, for he knows you'd make the perfect spouse for him. you'd make him the happiest man in the world, but he's not ready to discuss that with you... not until he has found the perfect ring.

KALIM AL ASIM + siblings

• kalim is utterly ecstatic knowing he has so much support behind his back, and when its suggested that his siblings thinks of you and him as an adorable couple? and even suggest marriage? oh how quickly it propels him to the marriage rot. if anything you should expect a proposal by the end of the visit for how much the thought of marriage excites him, even if you decline he's perfectly happy by your side..! marriage isn't always the result of love, just an existence between two people is enough for him.

• "big brother! you and [name] are so cute together!" "yeah, when are you two getting married?!" "I hope soon! they make you so happy!"

• kalim loves his family dearly, and he wants to welcome you into his own as well (jamil isn't as welcoming with that idea as his kalims arms are...)

VIL SCHOENHEIT + dad

• vil had no doubt in his mind his father would love you, and he wasn't wrong. his father was utterly welcoming at the idea of you and vil as a couple, in fact he even brought up how cute you two would be married, (vil can't deny how happy it made him, even if it doesn't show.)

• "i think you and [surname] make a cute couple, i wouldn't be surprised if you two got married."

• as vil moves his gaze over to you, he can't say his father was wrong... oh how happy he would be if he could lockdown and secure you as his. a beautiful wedding, taking you as his spouse. yeah, vil likes that idea. "maybe one day."

IDIA SHROUD + ortho

• "you're perfect for my brother! I can already see you two being in a happy marriage!" ortho happily exclaims, unaware of how those two simple sentences destroyed, and crashed his brother. feeling as if he made a fool of himself, he finds himself wishing to lock himself in his room away from everyone, and never bare to see your face again because omgimaginegettingmarriedtoyou?!

• he's not.. against the idea, but at the same time! is it really that casual of a thing to be brought up!? an actual marriage?! not like.,, a silly online one or one with a fictional character?! imagine if you did want to actually marry him!

• he catches a glance over at you, through his pinkish, blue hair. and when he see's your smile, he wonders if you truly were meant to share the same last name... surely that day will come... right? [Name] Shroud...  

• that thought sends him spirally again.

MALLEUS DRACONIA + lilia

• lilia commonly teased you and malleus about marriage. much like how a close friend would ship a couple, funnily enough malleus never caught on. in fact, he's already under the impression your engaged, and lilia is hyping up the ceremony. you don't have the heart to admit he never proposed (who knows? maybe he did, just in some type of fae courting system). so you let the teases happen.

• malleus is utterly blissed, the fact that lilia is so accepting of your marriage (that's not even legalized), and ready to support makes him happy! if anything he's already booking a venue, with lilia helping him with the organization (you think lilia's only doing this for his own entertainment at this point)

• malleus must've already foresaw a marriage from a long way ago, for every time he looks at you, its as if his eyes say "i do."

[qcomicsy]

I am in my angst today so I'm going to drop a few of ansty Batfam headcannons.

- Bruce till this day do that father thing of open the door of his kids room to see if they're sleeping and then closing (even when they're just visiting).

- The first time he did that to Tim, Tim pretended to be asleep and then he just started sobbing because Jack used to do the same thing too, and his mother before him.

- Dick, when he moved out of the manor, still would use the Batcomputer to do research from time to time. Everytime he slept on from tiredness he would woke up with Batman's cape on his shoulders.

- No one knows Bruce has a good singing voice other than Dick and Jason because he would sing to their sleep, sometimes, when they had nightmares.

- He stopped singing when Jason died. The only person who was able to hear him sing again was Damian. He pretended to be asleep, because if he opened his eyes he would noticed how much he misses his mother.

- Jason singed to Damian sleep once at the league. None of them remember that.

- Damian tries constantly to assure himself that he could take down every member of his family if he needed to. Deep down he knows he can't.

- Bruce spent weeks trying to master how to cut someone's hair ( with Alfred's help ) so he could give Dick a haircut, because Dick said to him that his mother used to cut his hair.

- Bruce taught every single one of his sons how to shave their beard.

- Bruce had a mental breakdown once because he was starting to forget his mother's face.

- Cass overanalyze everyone's body language to see if they're healthy and happy. She tries to stop herself sometimes because more often the answer is no.

- Sometimes Tim flinches when Jason moves to fast near him. They never talked about that out loud.

- Sometimes Damian's hand tremble when he grabs his sword, he can still feel the blade.

- In one of Dick's worst fights with Redhood the moment he got home he threw up. His brother's eyes used to be blue like his and not green.

- There was a time where Jason was so happy that Bruce's blue eyes were the same shade of his.

- Bruce's hands still tremble when he sees his children on the battlefield.

- Bruce has a habit of messing with his children's hair, every single one of them picked the same habit after him.

- When Dick moved out to the Titans Bruce couldn't sleep for weeks.

- Jason avoids to change clothes in front of his brothers because of the face Dick made when he saw his autopsy scars for the first time.

- One time Jason had a panic attack and misdialed Tim's number, Tim stayed on the line until Jason managed to sleep.

- There's times where Bruce says the word Robin and all of them look at him.

[starillusion13]

cold husband mafia mingi x reader where they get into an argument then the reader is kidnapped and gets hurt infront of him and falls unconscious give me all the angst you’ve got 🫶🏻

I AM LOST...

Pairing: Mafia husband! Mingi x Wife!reader

Genre: Angst, Mafia, Family au

W.C: 4.2k

Warnings: arguments b/w husband and wife, neglection of married life, mention open cuts with knife, kidnapping, get shot, blood loss. Regret.

Networks: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

Note: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated . Applause to the ones who come up to me to interact and they know how friendly I am. Okay enough!

“Why don’t you understand?”

You angrily put down the phone on your bed and brushed back the loose hairs from your face. You know it’s not a certain thing for you to be in this situation but you didn’t expect that even today also, he was going to treat it as the usual day. You were not expecting much from him but at least he could have tried to appreciate your efforts for the night.

You glanced at the clock and looked down at your long-slit dress for the night hugging your body. Few moments back, your mirror reflected the beauty of the night with a bright smile adorning your look but now your face reflecting the sadness. Sadness or loneliness.

Throwing the heels to the side of the room, you picked up the night sleep-gown to get change into it. Taking the phone in your hand, you checked through the notifications for the last time for the day, there’s still no texts from him of changing his mind. So, you are just going to sleep without even eating the dinner. You have already texted the restaurant to cancel your booking for the night and paid extra charges for the arrangements before heading to the bathroom.

It’s been an hour that you have locked yourself inside the bathroom when you heard a faint knock. When you turned off the tap, you could hear the light banging at the door.

“Who is there?”

“Ma’am, Is everything okay? I was calling you for last ten minutes and sorry to enter the room without the permission but I was worried for you.”

Oh. You were zoning out and didn’t hear your name being called. You could hear the worriedness in your maid’s voice and she is the only one who knows to accompany you even when she is busy or having her special days. Atleast, she understands you and knows what you are going through in your life. You literally envy her as she is not rich like you but having a nice and moderate life where she is actually happy unlike you who don’t know about happiness after the marriage.

“Ma’am?”

“I’m okay. Just need some time alone and I’ll be fine.”

You heard a faint ‘okay’ and click of your bedroom door shut. You sighed and stared at the mirror for few minutes before heading outside the bathroom. Slow footsteps took you near the window where you could see the view of the busy streets of the city. Your one hand resting on the glass window looked like as if you are caged in the room, maybe you are, just the way you are restricted to this marriage.

When you heard your maid calling out your name again, you let her in but still facing the window. You have tried not to show your vulnerable state to her but everytime you failed and cried to her. She was always there to comfort you, even today as well.

“Are you crying?”

You glanced at your reflection to the side, you could see a tear-line down on your cheeks and your fingers raised up to feel it. To feel the pain of your silent scream.

“I don’t know but why am I even crying?”

The mother like figure setting the food on the corner table, made her way towards you. She sympathetically smiled at you and when she reached near you, patting your head and taking hold of your one hand, brought you to sit on the edge of the bed. You stared at the hold and silent tears fell on top of it.

 “Am I not worthy for his time?” you asked in a hushed voice.

She rubbed your palms and hummed, “It’s not about your worth my dear. He is just distant from everything. You know when I first came into this house to work, I thought he really hate me as his maid or he doesn’t like a particular thing about me which is why he is being so cold to me. But gradually I got to know him, he is just a man who grew up as a child neglected by the family and so he doesn’t know how to really express himself.”

“But I am his wife. Does he not care about this? If he didn’t want to marry then why making my life miserable.” You gulped the lump in your throat and inhaled the sob that could tear out any time. You just want a little time of his where you can spend some time like a couple and talk about our married life.

“I know, Y/N. It’s really hard for you but some things need time.”

“It’s been one year…” you looked at her and she nodded.

“I hope he would soon see how he is ignoring a beautiful soul like you. He really loves you though or he wouldn’t have done so much to keep you safe here. He is just scared to open up with you as his parents never listened to him so he thinks that you might behave like them as well. As it was a contract marriage so he thinks you are with his parents but trust me, his first priority is you.”

You chuckled bitterly, “Never. His first priority is this mafia business which would never let him to come closer to me. He is just doing everything because this is his house and his properties which are needed to be kept safe-“

“And you are my wife.”

Both of you turned towards the door to see the man in messed up condition standing at the doorway with his coat in one hand and placing the gun in the drawer of the table near the corner table.

The maid stood up and excused herself to leave the room, leaving you with Mingi. When passing him, she asked quietly if he had eaten but he just shook his head and told not to bring him dinner, everything inaudible to you.

His eyes look tired and hairs disheveled, lazily he threw the tie on the sofa and walked towards the mirror. Your eyes following his movements and when he caught you looking at him through the mirror, you didn’t look away but locked your eyes with his.

“Your wife?” a hatred filled undertone spilled from your mouth.

He waited to see if you wanted to say anything more but only tears flowing down your eyes. The only thought came across his mind was how he had messed up today, the very first anniversary of both of yours. The mission was important but he couldn’t suddenly let the enemies know that they have a hole of his absence and take advantage of his gang, as he is the main snipper of the Mafia ‘Ateez’.

“Yes.” His eyes glanced at the food kept covered at the corner table and sighed, “Eat your food. I had my dinner earlier and you should not sleep in empty stomach.”

“I would rather die than eating dinner.”

Your words somehow hit a nerve inside him as he skipped towards and made you stand up, gripping your shoulders tightly. “What did you just say?”

You tried to read him but you could only see fire eyes staring back at you. You glanced at the grip on the shoulders and saw few cuts on his knuckles and wrists, maybe the mission didn’t succeed. So what? He is now going to show his frustration on you?

“I can’t live like a stranger in this house even when I’m living with the person, I got married to last year. Have you ever considered our life in a serious way or it’s just a contract mission for you. You could have said before our marriage then I would have done something to prevent it. Why was it necessary to make my life miserable for your mafia business?”

You were shouting on his face and you could see his furrowed brows and piercing eyes searching for your every emotion. His grip on you loosened and you swatted his hands away from you.

“Y/n…”

“Stop it. I’m tired of listening to your same excuses.” You pushed your hairs back and continued, “This mission was important. I’m doing things which is good for us. Same words.”

Mingi exhaled and proceeded to remove the wrist watch.

“You know it’s not an easy thing to be the part of a gang member and also maintain the family. You need to understand some things. Don’t act childish and whine for little things.”

“little things? You are an emotionless monster, Mingi. Do you even care about other’s feelings?” You rubbed your eyes with your sleeves, “I tried to understand your situation before. Everytime whenever I got disappointed with your attitude, I tried to convince myself that everything would be okay once the missions get over. But never.”

“This is my life, Y/n.”

“and what about my life? Before the marriage I dreamt of getting a husband who would be caring and loving to me. I never wanted money or a luxurious life to show off people but I wanted someone who will stay with me, understand me. Mingi please, I’m tired of all these.”

He stayed silent.

“I’m really a monster. Don’t forget I’m a member of ‘Ateez’ so I should not have feelings for anything and of course, I can’t be available like the other husbands. I gave you everything. I bought you all the things you have ever wanted, I have taken you to all the places you have wanted to visit and still here you are complaining about your life.” He has never shouted at you and today the way he raised his voice has reached the limit.

“Mingi……I need love.” You whispered the words. You just want to disappear from this place at that moment. He has heard what you had said and he stopped in his track entering the bathroom.

“Y/n, why can’t you understand that-“

“STOP! I am fed up with this. I’m leaving this place right now. Don’t try to find me unless you know how to become a husband.”

You grabbed your phone and purse laying on the sofa and slide the jacket hanging on the hook and slammed shut the door. Mingi stared at the door through which just now you have exited. A tear drop fell from the eye. Not your, but his. He is crying. He brings his finger to feel the tears on his cheeks. He deserves it.

“I’m sorry….”

He threw the towel on the bed and quickly dialled a number and waited impatiently for the other line to pick it up. 

“Hello? Is anything wrong?”

“Yunho, please track Y/n’s number and see where she is going. I know she must be going to her best friend’s house but she was restless when she left the house so I hope she doesn’t do anything stupid and go to her house safely.”

“Mingi, calm down. I will keep a watch on her. And, you still didn’t apologize right? She needs you, Mingi. You are her husband and you know she is not used to this kind of dark life yet her parents forced her into this but you need to remember, she is that bubbly Y/n from our class and she deserves happiness. I hope after she comes back to you, you treat her the right way. Right way I meant, you will give her all the love she needs and deserves.”

“I know… please keep a watch on her.”

“I will.”

After hanging up the call, he stared at the phone screen and unconsciously, he tapped on your name to call you but his finger hovered over the call sign and sighed. You wouldn’t pick up and he made a mental note to bring you back.

After a while when he exited the bathroom, he glanced at the bed. Usually, he would find you sleeping or scrolling through the phone. Your food still kept in the corner, getting cold just like the relationship between you both. It would not be a surprise if you leave him at this point because it would be all his fault after all. It’s surprising how you are a carefree, bubbly and a sunshine girl got entangled with confined, ruthless and cold boy.

He has always watched you since the middle school and he envied how cheerful you always were unlike him, who had to hide the mafia family business and always acting cold towards everyone. Never in a while, he thought that he would be marrying you in the future and now here you are both struggling in your life. And moreover, he is the one destroying your butterflies and rainbows with the thunderstorm of his coldness.

The bedroom door slammed open and the maid supported herself at the doorframe and spoke between the heavy breathes, “Sir Yunho is here. He is calling you urgently.”

Mingi threw the towel on the bed and signalled her to go along with him. Meanwhile, he asked her if she knows the reason for his urgency but the words came out her mouth made his heart beat stop for a moment.

“It’s about Y/n.”

He inhaled sharply before almost running to the living room where Yunho was sitting in a messed up state and looking at the phone screen. Mingi took large steps towards the man sitting on the sofa and grabbed his collar to make him stand.

“where is Y/n? I told you to keep a watch on her then what went wrong?”

Yunho held the wrist and tried to calm him down but he himself was sick worried of the thing that happened earlier.

“Mingi, I was tracking her location as you told me but suddenly, she changed her direction to a different road and I quickly went there with Jongho as it was the way leading to the highway where all the deals happen at night.”

“Why was she going there?”

“I didn’t know why she suddenly went there but when I reached her last location, she was not there and I found her phone lying at the side of the road and I saw a number texted her to go there who pretended as you. She trusted the text that you were asking her to meet and you would be apologizing for everything. We need to do something.”

Mingi didn’t know what to think at the moment. Should he scold you for believing any number to be him? Or should he just shoot everyone here and there just to find you quickly? He brushed the damp hairs back and took heavy breathes to calm him down to come up with a better plan as panicking is not a mafia thing and he needs to think wisely so that you don’t get hurt.

Yunho got a call from one of his gang members and conversing over the call, he turned towards his other mate. He watched how he was being so impatient for his wife. Even if he doesn’t show any feelings but deep down, he loves his wife the most. He is just scared not to harm her in the flow of his mafia life. He wants to keep you as bubbly as the childhood Y/n but he is hurting you in the process.

“Hey.” Mingi looked up to his member’s call. “Jongho has tracked the message number id and it’s from the District-9 and it only means there is one person who could have kidnapped her. It’s Bangchan and his gang members to take revenge for the last month’s mission.”

“I will go there and take her back. I need to leave right now.”

“Are you stupid? If he attacks you then neither you are getting her back nor you will be safe.”

“You don’t tell me what to do now. I don’t care to spend time coming up with a plan. Y/n is in danger and she is scared.”

Even when Yunho tried to stop him, Mingi harshly pushed him away and sprint towards the garage to get into his black car. His black outfit blending with the cold dark night. Even the roads through which he was driving through were silent but he was in chaos. Many thoughts passing through his mind and he was just praying that you were safe.

“Please wait for a while…I’m coming, Y/n.”

He drove the car faster.

.

.

.

“Well my little angel, is the cut burning?”

Your teary eyes looked up to the voice who was calling you with an endearment but mocking at you. The leader of this new gang and you just know only his name, Bangchan as others were just calling each other with code numbers.

“Please…I want to go home…It’s hurting please…” you tried to pry yourself off from the ropes binding you to the chair but your weak body couldn’t go against it and the cuts over your hands and legs were burning with your every little movement.

“It would have been easy if you would have told me the details of your husband’s base but your stubbornness is only causing you pain so my boys had to torture you like this. So, are you willing to speak now?”

He gripped your jaw harshly and brought his face near to yours. You shook your head to avoid him but he held you tighter.

“TELL ME!”

“I don’t know…”

“I swear-“ Before he could finish both of you hear loud screaming and shootings outside. He stared at you and held the gun towards you when he heard footsteps nearing the basement.

Within the seconds, the door kicked open by Mingi. At first, he didn’t notice you but when his gaze fell on Bangchan, the latter smirked and looked below when he followed the gaze, he watched how helpless and tiredly you were tied to the chair.

what the fuck…

“So, the snipper of Ateez is here without the invitation. Oh, wife pulled you here but as far as I have heard, it doesn’t really matter to you what’s going to happen to her.”

“Shut up.” He hissed.

Mingi took one step and you screamed in pain. It pierced his ears and heart at the same time. He is used to your laugh, your smile, your shouts, your complains but your scream in pain is not the thing he ever wanted to hear. It’s too painful for him. Maybe, because he is the snipper so he is not used to hear anyone’s pain from so close. No, its because it’s you who is screaming.

“Take one more step. You will see more fresh new cuts.”

His eyes scanned your whole body, Your sleeves and edges of the dress had patches of blood. Earlier in hurry, you changed into this light peach colour dress but he didn’t expect it to be covered in dirt and blood later the night.

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Watch me.” He again cut open a line of skin on your forearm. Your scream again filled the room, deafening every other sound to his ears. Mingi balled his fist and gritted his teeth.

You haven’t asked for his help. Why? It’s because you don’t trust him or you still couldn’t believe that he was there to save you not for his mafia business.

“Mingi…please help me…”

That was the only push he needed to run towards the leader and punched him. This caused Bangchan to lose his grip on the knife and gun. He wiped off the blood from the corner of his lip and glared towards Mingi and the latter again punched him on the floor. Satisfied, he crawled towards your chair and starts to untie the ropes and chain. You were trying to stay awake but the blood loss was making it hard. Prying everything off from you, he hugged your weak body and rubbed your back.

“It’s okay, Y/n. Don’t be scared. I’m here.”

You didn’t reply but you were focusing on something, rather someone. Bangchan was pointing his gun towards Mingi’s back and when you realized, your eyes went big and you managed to switch the sides and as soon as your back facing the leader, he shot the bullet.

Who got shot?

You.

You leaned towards Mingi and held his biceps tighter. The pain was much worse than the previous cuts but somewhere you were feeling a relief that finally you would be at peace.

Bangchan ran away from the basement but that didn’t matter to the man who was in shocked to see you dying in his arms.

No. he can’t just let you die like this. He needs to apologize. He needs to make up for all the mistakes he has done.

He carried you to his car and Yunho followed him. Earlier four Ateez members followed Mingi and they helped him to attack on the District-9 basement.

“I will drive. Keep her awake until we reach hospital.”

Getting inside the car, he was calling out your name frantically and you have never seen him like this. For you.

“I want to sleep.”

“No no please. You will sleep but for a while please hold on. Don’t close your eyes please. Stay with me Y/n…”

Your cold hand reached to his cheeks and rubbed the rough skin.

“Are you crying for me? Am I being a bad wife?”

“No. you are the best wife ever someone wanted. It was me who was bad for neglecting you. Please stay with me…”

“I love you, Mingi.”

You closed your eyes and your breathing almost became faint. Mingi panicked at the situation but when Yunho pulled the car in front of the hospital. Without wasting any time, he skipped towards the emergency room with you in his arms. Of course, this was their personal Mafia Base Hospital and no one would dare to stop him.

Its been an hour when the doctor came out the room informed Mingi that you were in a critical situation as the bullet has damaged some area around it and your blood loss adding the worst possibilities to it. He was on the verge of losing control but after Yunho’s request, they let him to meet you.

You were sleeping peacefully. You wanted to sleep and now you are sleeping. He chuckled bitterly to this thought. He sat on the stool by the side of your bed and held your weak palm between his shaking ones.

“I’m sorry…”

Tears fell on the hold. Your breathings were very faint but as far as he could hear the sound, it was a little relief to him.

“I was scared, Y/n. I have seen you since the middle school and you were always the bright sunshine and I was the dark coldness. We never matched with each other but yet you smiled towards me.”

He sobbed before continuing, “When I got to know that you will be my wife. I had two feelings, one to be scared like how to take care of a family apart from the mafia life and the second, I was happy for the first time that I’m getting someone like you in my life. If the marriage was not important then I would have tried my best to keep you far away from someone like me, never to get involved with me.”

He paused for a moment to stare at you. Your beautiful face covered with cuts and now having antiseptic creams on them but he could feel the burning pain you had went through before. He caressed the side of your face and head. Smiling a little. Hoping for you to wake up and hug him and forgive him. He knows he doesn’t deserve the forgiveness so soon but just wants to see your lively face and smile once again. He needed to prove you his love and he swear he would do anything for you to see happy and not to be in this situation again. NEVER AGAIN.

“You are a treasure in my life whom I tried to protect so hard that the pressure broke it in the end. I destroyed you with my own hands. You are my queen but I caged you like a prisoner. Please wake up, Y/N. I can’t live without you. All these years, I have watched you from afar but when you are near, I am lost.”

He waited for you as if you are going to reply him back like other times. He wants you to shout at him, hit him, do whatever to make him realize your worth but he couldn’t afford to see you sleeping on a hospital bed, supported by some machines. Every drop of blood is precious than the most expensive ruby to him.

“I’m lost with you. I’m lost without you. For you I’m lost. I love you, Y/n. You are the only warmth in my cold life.”

‘I love you, Mingi.’ This was the last thing he heard faintly from you and your voice echoing inside his head.

“Please, don’t leave me. I want to change myself for you.” He planted a soft kiss on the back of your hand and tears falling from his eyes continuously.

You need to wake up or his coldness will make him lost in the void from where no one can ever bring him back. You are his first love and you can’t be the first reason to hate love.

I hope you liked it anon <3. I was really down while writing it coz about that post who insulted me for writing ffs so If the fic is not how you wanted then please wait for other fics, I will surely try to do better.

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @hwanring @sanwifesstuff @kiwiisnthereoops @kiwiraccoon @hyuukah @kazscara @aceofspadesbiofalltrades [open!]

[honeybeedrabble]

Casanova (Cheating!Sasuke x AFAB!Reader) - iii

CW: MINIMAL EDITING !!! mean!sasuke x AFAB!reader, reader pregnancy, homewrecker!reader, deadbeat dad activities, cheating, piv (unprotected), creampie, spitting/spit play, oral (f receiving) degradation (loser, whore), zero after care, breeder!sasuke, generally scummy behavior, lmk if i missed anything. short chapter lol

18+ MDNI !!!!!!!!!!

Sasuke knew he hated himself, like seriously- hated himself. He hated himself because everytime he came home he was reminded that he destroyed the family he loved so much just because he wanted to fuck you. Sure, the first time was an accident, if anything he helped you the first time! At least that’s what he told himself to be able to sleep at night. But the second time? The second time was pure lust, nothing but dirty lust that had taken over him and made him want to fuck you.

What didn’t help was how he heard people talk about you. How they would gossip about how nice your newly found motherhood was, and how it was sweet you’d decided to have your own little family. He hated that whenever people would ask who the father was you’d dodge the question, a flustered blush overwhelming your face as you clutched your chest.

But probably what Sasuke hated most of all was how the days went by and your belly got bigger, he got hard at just the sight of you. Your skin was always glowing, your breasts bigger, and of course your stomach bigger. He would think about how hot it was that he had gotten you pregnant, showing off how you were his, regardless as to how nobody knew it. In fact, the ignorance of how it was him got him unbelievably horny.

Whenever he would fuck his wife, he would put a hand flat on her stomach, feel the way his cock would bulge underneath, and imagine it was you while caressing where your child would’ve been. Sakura had no idea of course, she was just happy to get dicked down after a strange dry spell. Sasuke silently refused to fuck her, out of shame and pity mostly, but after getting hot and bothered by just the sight of you for weeks mixed with the feeling of sexual frustration he had to let himself go.

After the deed was done, his post but clarity kicked in like no tomorrow.

What am I going to do? How fucked am I?

He thought as he looked to his side and watched as his wife would catch her breath, post orgasm. He shook his head, pulling the covers up to his chest to cover himself up. Sakura rolled over, putting a hand to his covered chest.

“We haven’t done that in quite a while, huh?” she softly laughed, still breathing in and out.

“Yeah,” he smiled, looking away quickly. Sakura furrowed her brow.

“Are you okay?” She asked, sitting up and closer to him.

“Um, yeah… why?”

“It’s just… you’ve been so distant lately, and that’s saying something.” She nudged him and Sasuke made a halfhearted laugh. “You’ve been like this for weeks… if I didn’t know any better I’d assume something…” Sasuke tensed up.

“Assume what?” He bit back, jaw clenched. Sakura was taken aback.

“All I’m saying is ever since that genjutsu user got away you’ve been acting strange. You don’t feel bad about her getting away, do you?” Sakura asked, tone softer.

“She didn’t get away…” Sasuke muttered.

“Huh?”

“Oh, um… Her. Yeah, that’s what it is.” Sasuke replied, rolling over and facing away from Sakura. She giggled.

“Oh Sasuke, you’ve always been so hard on yourself.”

“For good reason…” He sighed, once again the feelings of shame and guilt returned.

“There you go again. Why don’t we just change the subject, hmm?” Sakura asked. Sasuke wanted to vomit when she said your name.

“W-what about her?” he felt the bile building up in his throat.

“Well you know how she’s pregnant right?”

“Yes, yes, of course I know she’s pregnant! What about her?”

“Well she’s coming into the hospital tomorrow for an ultrasound! When I found out I just knew I had to be her doctor so I’m going to be giving her her screening!” Sakura chirped happily.

Without a word Sasuke got out of bed, not facing her the whole time.

“Sorry, I just realized I have to go to the bathroom,” he said, walking out the door.

“Oh okay, we’ll can you bring me a glass of water when you come back?” Sakura called as he was already walking down the hall.

“Yup.” He responded. He locked himself in the bathroom and turned the fan on, then vomited into the toilet before tangling his fingers into his hair and silently crying as his heart beat out his chest.

___________________

You had no idea of course, so nobody could imagine the slurry of emotions erupting inside of you when Sakura walked into the room, clipboard in hand for your check up. You laid back on the examination bed, heart beating out of your chest as she made conversation with you about your baby.

“You can tell me, c’mon! Who’s the father,” she asked, pouring jelly on your belly and spreading it around.

“I can’t…” you frowned.

“Why not?” She asked, turning to the screen and flipping it on.

“It’s cause,” you felt sweat bead on your forehead, you felt sick and had no idea how to tell her this was her husbands child. “It’s cause I had a sperm donor.”

Sakura spun around in the seat and looked at you.

“No kidding! So you’ve really wanted to be a mom that badly?” She asked, moving the small device around on your stomach.

“Um… Yeah I guess so,” you mustered a laugh.

“Didn’t they tell you who the donor was? Y’know if I check your appointment date I can see who’s they gave you-“

“Oh no that’s fine! I didn’t have a preference…” You lied as you both shifted your attention to the screen. “Just wanted it to be healthy…”

Soon enough the fetus was on screen and Sakura gasped with delight.

“Well it seems healthy to me!”

“Um, do you know it’s gender yet?” You asked, shamefully curious.

“Well it’s too early to tell, that’s also why it’s so small.” She pressed a little harder against you, and shifted it around. She pointed at the top of the oblong shape. “There’s the head.”

You smiled as you looked at it, then your face dropped. You felt tears roll down your face and soon enough you were crying. Sakura turned her head to see you.

“I’m sorry…” you cried, wiping your face.

“No no! It’s okay, plenty of mothers cry when they get their ultrasound done it’s completely fine! It’s also all those hormones don’t worry.” She sat closer to you and gave you a small hug, running her hand up and down your back.

You wished she had punched you, kicked you, or even yelled at you, maybe then you wouldn’t feel so bad about being her husbands mistress and baby mother. But instead she was coddling you and telling you it would be alright, which it certainly would not be. Eventually you stopped crying and Sakura grabbed her clipboard and started writing down on it. She tore a piece of paper out and handed it to you.

“It’s a list of some prenatal vitamins, they’ll make you feel better especially when you start to get further into your first trimester.” She was too sweet, and you were so shitty.

_______________________

That night after dinner you heard a knock at your door and when you saw who it was you wished you slammed it immediately.

“Can I come in?” Sasuke asked, looking around nervously.

“Get the fuck in here.” You muttered. He shut the door behind him and locked it. You crossed your arms angrily.

“You know it’s already fucked up as it is that I have to raise your child alone, and now i’m reminded that your wife literally exists. You know she gave my ultrasound?” Sasuke cringed. “Yeah. Didn’t think about giving me a heads up?”

“I can explain-“

“Oh! So you did know?”

“Listen-“

“What the fuck…” you cried, sobbing into your hands and turning away from him.

“So emotional…”

“Fuck you, loser.”

“If i didn’t know your hormones were out of control right now I’d remind you that out of the both of us the real loser might be the one carrying the married man’s child.” Sasuke snapped. You growled low, then with an open palm struck him across the face. He winced, a soft grunt escaping his lips.

“I should kill this damn fetus that you find so fascinating. I hate it. I hate you. Everyday i’m reminded there’s something disgusting growing inside of me that you put there, it makes me sick.” You cried again, ugly sobs ripping their way out through your lungs to bounce around the walls of your home.

“It’s not my fault you were acting like such a whore that day.” Sasuke frowned, his hand running over the red skin on his face.

“If you had killed that genjutsu user we wouldn’t be here right now.”

“You got in the way.” You scoffed.

“Always so pretentious, aren’t you?”

“It’s the truth. I could’ve handled it but no, you just needed to show off.”

“Show off? You’re one to talk. You’re practically showing off to the whole village how you got me knocked up everywhere I go.” Your brows furrowed. Sasuke was silent.

He knew you were right. Maybe he knew it was the pot calling the kettle black, but he was backed into a corner. Something about the word ‘loser’ struck a nerve with him. A deadbeat dad with a distant wife- no fault of anyone else but him. Did he somehow think starting a family with you would be some sort of do-over? something to rid him of his guilt?

When he looked at his wife he saw a beautiful woman, strong and accomplished. But how can you have any room for attraction to someone you have so much guilt for. Guilt for his old days of vengeance and hate, guilt for his job that kept him away from home for years.

But you? You were a fresh face. Beaming with optimism and a subtle hint of indifference that he knew he could change. You had something Sasuke couldn’t quite identify, simply being around you now felt dangerous. Sure, it could be, but it was more than the thrill of danger. You were his whim, his drug, the fever he couldn’t sweat out and being inside of you was the only place he wanted to be every hour of everyday. Maybe you have animosity for him now but could this family save you? more importantly- could it save Sasuke?

You took a deep breath in, shakily letting it go.

“You need to leave…” You were about to walk for the door when a possessive hand grasped your wrist. You froze.

“You don’t understand, I need you.” His voice was almost a whisper, the low growl that it almost produced set a shiver up your spine.

“I…” you started, face flush from his sudden shift. “Please, I can’t deal with you right now. You’re just too confusing.”

Sasuke gripped you brash and pinned you against the nearest wall, mounted frames ratted when you made contact. You gasped, your free hand coming to rest at your belly.

“Sasuke! You can’t just do that! It’s not good for the baby, knock it off,” your face burned hot. Sasuke raised a brow, a small smirk pricking up.

“Oh? So you do care about the well being of our baby, huh?” Bastard. He had you.

He leaned down partially, teasing you with a warm breath against your lips. You fought yourself to not close the gap, your mind racing and your face flaming. Soon enough you gave into your impulses and kissed him passionately.

You both let out an exhale, his soft lips making yours wet with his saliva. He opened his mouth to lick your sweet lips, tracing how plush they were only for his tongue to slip past them and feel along your own. His tongue ran along the smooth underside of yours, then swirled back up to trace your rougher taste buds, leaving his own flavor behind.

He grunted when you tangled your fingers in his hair, digging deep towards his roots and gently yanking when he pressed a growing erection into your swollen core. You wrapped your legs around his waist, your arms around his neck and he carried you to your bedroom, where he laid you down onto the mattress as soon as you both arrived.

Sasuke ripped off your pajama pants then ducked down to the valleys of your flesh, kissing in between your thighs to suck deep hickeys into. You moaned and writhed under his chin, then he made haste to your sensitive pussy, licking hard against your clit. You let out a harsh and untamed cry of pleasure, it almost sounded like you were in pain. But the way you bucked your hips into his mouth and dig deeper into his scalp proved otherwise.

You didn’t realize your body was craving Sasuke for so long until mere seconds later you were cumming on his tongue, hoarse moans and soft whimpers escaped your lips without warning as your juices filled his mouth. Sasuke palmed himself when you flooded into him, he swallowed every drop you could’ve given him and when you were done with your orgasm he didn’t stop devouring you until you were shaking like a leaf.

Sasuke roughly grabbed one of your tits as he stood up, looking down at you through narrowed eyes, you quivered under his gaze.

“Off.” He commanded. You took off your tank top and threw it across the room. Sasuke swooped down to caress your tits in his hand and mouth, biting harshly on your sensitive nipples. You clenched around nothing when he did so, thighs clamping shut around his torso.

He quickly came off of you and he undid his pants, you watched as the waistband of his pants and boxers fell to the floor, his large cock standing straight up against his chiseled abdomen.

There were no words spoken between the two of you. No promises of love, no claims of possession, no gifts exchanged or fancy jewelry to court with, no battles won to impress with, and no acts of tenderness. Only one single thing was present and that was the absolute orgasmic pleasure that came from being impaled be Sasukes cock over and over and over again. He got off watching you bounce from underneath him, your tits giggling every time he bottomed out and his balls smacked against your ass.

Sasuke bit his lip to stutter his moans when you started shaking again. Your climax looked almost like a seizure, more whimpers and cries were let out as you shook, only to be met with more tremors the longer he fucked you, continuing to deliver what practically seemed like pleasure epilepsies.

“F-Fuck! Sasuke, you’re so good…” you mewled, toes curling when he hit that good spot deep inside of you.

His hips didn’t slow their violent pace, his thumb traced along your clit, rubbing tight circles against it with he pad of his finger.

“Yeah…” he grunted, pace getting rougher. “You like this dick, huh? You like it so much you got pregnant from it, little whore.” He smirked, teasing you with long, deep strokes that slowed down to an agonizing pace.

You breathed heavily, heart pounding so loud and fast you were scared you might have a heart attack.

“Fuck- yeah…” you blubbered, hips twisting when you felt him bottom out.

“You’re gonna raise my fucking baby, aren’t you?” Sasuke murmured, his pace intensified and yet again you were crying out again.

“Y-yeah,” you whimpered, legs shaking as Sasuke obliterated your leaky pussy.

“That’s right… you’d do anything for this uchiha dick, wouldn’t you?” He asked with a smirk as he jackhammered you raw with his thick rod.

You neared your orgasm, cunt clenching tight and making Sasuke grunt as he continued to rail you. You nodded, eyes rolling back as your eye brows furrowed. Your mouth fell open and Sasuke took this opportunity to spit into it, you shocked yourself when you swallowed it. Sasuke had a feeling you would but watching you do it made him go crazy and his pace inside of you was excruciating.

“Say you want our baby, say you’re keeping it,” Precum was spilling out of you, it was fully mixed in with your arousal and your ass was drenched from your fluids dripping down.

“I want our baby, Sasuke- I… I’m keeping it I promise…” your face burned, your body surprised you would utter such words to the man who ruined you.

It didn’t matter for much longer since you came hard on his cock, appendages flying all around him to get him even closer to you. He complied and pressed himself deeper into you, almost as if he were fusing into you. his cock twitched when he filled you up with hot cum and you loved hearing his soft moans. you wrapped your legs around him to keep him right inside of you and if it wasn’t for the fact it was sasuke who had led you to this misfortunate spot, you wouldn’t be upset by the state you’re in now.

Eventually Sasuke got off of you and clothed himself. His pants covering his sex, almost as if in a way he was ashamed of where it had got him. Hiding it away from the mess he had made.

“I’ve got to go, I’ve already overstayed my welcome.” Sasuke sighed, he turned around and looked back over his shoulder at you. “Goodnight.”

You were still naked and drenched in sweat and sperm, juices leaking down your legs. It was like he injected you with his own venomous guilt for living, having desire, having your own craving for freedom through your sex. That freedom was gone now, only one of you had to deal with this fuck up. Now this venom was killing you. It was as if the most pleasurable knife was jabbed inside of you and you were bleeding out your emotions.

The sheets were all messed up besides you and as you watched him go you were glad he didn’t offer to tuck you in. A good man would’ve offered, a better would’ve tucked you in without even asking. In a way, it was confirmation he was a shitty lover and maybe even a worse partner. It made you feel better he wouldn’t do such an intimate thing for the fling like this when he has a wife and child at home.

Still shaken, you managed to sit upright, angry and defeated. You knew your body and mouth betrayed you of the freedom you wanted so badly. They reinforced his belief that you wanted to keep this anchor of a weight that was Sasuke Uchihas child. You were furious your body betrayed you and led you down a path of self destruction. You felt cheated, then felt worse when you realized that the only person who should really feel that way was Sakura.

AN: i have been LAGGING !!! i am so sorry gang i'm trying to be better with posting like how i used to but somethings been up idk what is is or when it'll be over but i think i just gotta womp womp my way through it. anyways i'm sorry if i forgot to add you to the tag list just leave a comment and i'll add you to the next part.

tag list: @just-your-emo-sensei @princess-saki1 @mandy-yeager @emmaaas-posts

[theemporium]

💰with Sirius??? He would absolutely just spoil spoil spoil reader with everything. Like that trend with dogs where the owners buy everyone the dog sniffs, he’d be following reader and buying anything she even vaguely grazes. She def hates it and feels bad everytime but he’s like “let my family’s name do one good thing for me and let me spend it all on you”

thank you for requesting!🫶🏽

.

“Sirius, put it down.”

“But you want it.”

“No, I don’t—”

“Love, I saw you staring at it for the last five minutes,” he countered, almost looking far too smug for your liking. 

“Just because I look at something doesn’t mean you have to buy it for me,” you snapped back at him, trying to fight the urge to glance down at all the bags of stuff he had bought you during your trip through Diagon Alley so far. The pile was only getting bigger and it was starting to make you feel nauseous. 

“But I want to buy it for you,” Sirius said with an easy smile on his face. “Would you really stop my happiness and wants because of your own selfishness, love?”

You shot him a look.

“In fact, this might be the only thing that brings me joy,” he continued as he stepped over the bags and reached for you. “This might be the only source of happiness in my sad, sad life.”

You let out a snort, shaking your head. “You’re ridiculous, Sirius Black.”

“No, I am just a man from a tragically rich family who wants to use his money to spoil his girl instead of buying those atrociously ugly dressing robes my mother keeps hinting at,” Sirius retorted, his nose scrunching up in disgust at the mere mention of the robes. “I saw Lucius in them the other day. It looked like a Hippogriff threw up on him.”

This time you let out a full laugh, boisterous and bellyful and definitely out of place in the high-end jewellers you were both currently standing in.

“Hm, although that laugh is a close second in making me happy,” Sirius murmured with a fond smile on his face.

“You do this every time,” you complained as your hands fisted the material of his shirt, fingers smoothing over the buttons. “You butter me up so I give in and let you buy me stuff.”

“It’s a strategy,” Sirius said proudly. “And it works.”

“You need to stop it before you waste all your money on me,” you told him with a shake of your head.

“It would never be a waste if it was on you, love,” Sirius told you, though his words were thick with emotion and sincerity as he cupped your face in his hands. “I want to give you everything you deserve.” 

“But all I want is you,” you countered. “You are more than enough for me, Sirius. I don’t need you to flash or flaunt your money on me.”

“Yeah, but I like seeing the way you try to hide that smile of yours whenever you wear something I bought you,” Sirius said with a casual shrug of his shoulders. “And I think that little diamond thing would look gorgeous on you.”

“It’s called a choker,” you laughed. 

“I thought that was my job,” Sirius grinned back at you.

“Sirius!”

“What?! I am being serious!”

.

[dovabunny]

GhostSoap AU - Replaced

Cw: angst

They'd been a (secret) thing for almost a year now. Soap was smitten, but respected Ghost's boundaries to keep it private.

But over all these months, Ghost never said he loved him too. He never makes future plans with Soap either.

He keeps turning down invites to go on leave together or meet his family,l. When they're out on missions will always elect share a room with Price over him.

Soap starts to feel like less of a secret lover and more like... Ghost's dirty little secret.

Like he's just being used.

(Read rest below)

It all blows up one night.

The gang had been at a local bar. Some flooze had apparently been making eyes at Ghost and Gaz noticed. Thinking he's being a good friend and wingman, he introduced the two.

Soap had to sit and watch Ghost talk to her at the bar for 20minutes.

Everytime she touched his arm or bought him a drink he wanted to rip her off him.

But what hurt more was that Ghost didn't immediately turn her down, instead entertaining her attention for a drink or two. He didn't tell Gaz he wasn't interested.

Soap was just a spectator.

"So? Get her number?" Gaz eagerly asked when Ghost returned.

"Nah. Not my type. Too chatty."

Gaz rolled his eyes. "Picky bitch. She was pretty. And if you're not into chatty why do you keep him around?" He playfully winked at Soap.

It was a joke. Didn't mean it didn't hurt.

Not when Ghost didn't even reply.

Soap announced he's leaving early. Ghost followed and caught up to him. The cold air did nothing to ease the burning hurt.

"You coming over to mine tonight, Johnny? I doubt they'll be back till after midnight."

Soap grit his teeth and kept walking. "Dunno. Maybe you should go ask your redhead slag."

Ghost glared, voice cold. "That's uncalled for, Johnny. She was just being friendly."

"Friendly, huh? Too bad she's chatty. Apparently that's huge turn off for you."

Ghost grabbed his arm and stopped him. His eyes and tone incredulous. "That's what this hissy fit is about? You're jealous and touchy over that comment? I thought you'd be happy I didn't take her number."

"I would've been happy if you didn't entertain her flirting at all!"

Ghost's eyes turned hard. "And what gives you the right to dictate who I talk to?"

Soap stared for a moment. It hurt. It fucking hurts but he needed to know.

"What am I to you, Simon?"

Ghost was quiet.

"A fling? A partner? A lover? A fucking sex toy? What am I to you!?"

Months of insecurities were bubbling up. The alcohol that loosened his tongue didn't help either as he yelled.

"Don't raise your voice to me, Sargent. I'm still your commanding officer." Ghost said in a tone reserved for intimidating interrogations and reckless recruits.

"...that's it? You're my CO and I'm your Sargent? That's- that's all it is for you?" Soap hated how his voice trembled.

"I didn't make any promises, Soap." (Soap. Not Johnny.) "You have no right to make demands of what I may and may not do, and I won't be chained down!"

"I don't want to chain you down! I just wa-"

"Sounds like you do. Bloody hell, if you didn't want to fuck anymore - fine. There's no need for the tears and the drama, Sargent."

It was only then that Soap realized he was crying.

Ghost cursed and kept walking without him.

Soap feels like he's been punched in the chest, a gaping void left where his heart and lungs should be.

Apparently all the secret kisses Ghost stole, how he held his hand when no one was looking, the way he held him when they were alone were all just what? Drama? In his head?

Soap spends the night sobbing his heart out off base in an empty parking lot with a bottle of whiskey in his hand.

By morning he told himself there's no use crying over spilled milk.

But it wasn't that simple. For either of them. It was the start of the end.

[andypantsx3]

Hi hi hi, andy! I also have a question abt wimym. I loved reading it sm!! Shouto was so so so soft with the reader I melted everytime they interacted

I wanted to know how Touya reacted to when they became a couple. Did he ever think of the possibility of them being together?

And Rei, when she smiled at the immediate yes from Shouto for the run when the reader said she'd go for the run. Did Rei know?

Ahhhh thank you to everyone who sent one of these asks, I am so overwhelmed and so very grateful. I had so much fun writing it and I'm so happy you guys liked it.

And I hope it's okay I grouped you all because you had a similar question!! One that I intend to answer with a drabble: What does the main character of our wimym universe Touya (lol) think of Shouto x Reader? ✨✨

(Fair warning the dabihawks shipper in me is at it again in this one).

You arrived late, thanks to Shouto.

It had been a monumental effort to even get out the door, with the number of times you'd been dragged back underneath Shouto in bed, pressed into the wall and kissed breathless just as you'd escaped bed range, and then followed into the shower as you'd tried to get presentable for Shouto's family.

It was lucky you'd known the Todorokis your whole life, as this was not the first impression you wanted to make as Shouto's life mate.

"They will understand," Shouto intoned as you knocked on the front door.

His breath ghosted over a mark on the back of your neck he'd diligently sucked there not a half hour before, and you shivered with the accompanying memory of his long fingers dipping into the underwear you'd only just managed to pull on.

Before you could respond, however, the door pulled open and you suddenly found yourself with an armful of Fuyumi.

"Congratulations!" she said, and you could tell by the sound of her voice that she was beaming. The sound instantly put you at ease, and you could feel some of the tension leak out of you. She was a fellow beta, not that much younger than you, and always had a way of calming you.

You'd been concerned that his family wouldn't take it well, your being mated to Shouto. But Fuyumi carried on like nothing was the matter.

"We're all so happy. Mom said it was about time, and Natsuo has been inundated with winnings from all the bets he's taken," she said, laughing, punctuating her words with a squeeze.

You blinked. Bets. Had Shouto's regard for you really been that obvious to everyone else, too, all these years? Your ears heated.

Fuyumi released you only to drag Shouto down into a hug too, reaching up nearly a foot to ruffle his hair and murmuring her congratulations to him as well. Shouto's eyes met yours over her shoulder, and he blinked slow like a cat. You could tell how pleased he was.

"Mom's made lunch, I bet you two are famished after everything," Fuyumi said, once she released Shouto.

Your ears went even hotter with the implication, and almost nuclear when Shouto intoned, "We are."

"Shhh," you hissed at him, as Fuyumi gestured you inside. The foyer smelled like her, a cold spring morning, with the undercurrent of Rei's wildflowers.

"They do know what a life mate is," Shouto told you, even as he took your hand in his. "And they are aware that I've had you locked away for days."

Your stomach lurched even as it fluttered with the memory of what those days locked away had been like. "We were playing checkers," you said to Fuyumi.

A pert white eyebrow being raised was all the reply you got as she led you into the kitchen, and you frowned. Todorokis.

In the kitchen, you barely got a glance at the lunch spread before you were immediately engulfed in a hug from Natsuo. Rei smiled at you and petted your hair fondly the way your own mother did, cupping your cheek and looking at you like she'd always sort of known.

A yank from Shouto, however, pulled you out of the way just as a fabric napkin came whipping at your face. You jerked around to find Touya leaning over the table, glaring between you and Shouto like he didn't know which one of you to be more disgusted with.

"That is my baby brother," he hissed to you before rounding on Shouto. "That is my friend."

Shouto's grip on you tightened immediately, eyes narrowing. His mouth pursed. "Y/N is mine, Touya."

You suppressed an eye roll, even as Touya growled. "You wouldn't even know each other if it wasn't for me, you little pervert—"

Well there it was.

"Wow, lunch looks soooo good," you intoned over both of them, turning to Rei with a deliberate flourish. "You always take such good care of me, I am grateful."

Rei's smile was soft, in contrast to Touya's angry growl. You pretended like you were suddenly deaf to that corner of the room.

"Shouto has been in love for a long time. I am happy to know it is someone we all love dearly too," Rei said.

Your face heated, and Touya made another disgusted sound. "And you, what happened to not wanting some knothead idiot?" he demanded over his mother.

Shouto blinked and leaned back, apparently not as fussed with the accusation of being a knothead idiot as he was with the implication that he had to share you with anyone else.

You had to bite down a smile, knowing that would only enrage Touya further.

"I am hungry," Shouto said, ignoring his brother now entirely. "Next time I will make a larger portion for leftovers."

Your skin prickled guiltily. The two of you had worked up an appetite like you'd never had in your life over the past few days, decimating the leftovers and then all the snacks Shouto had packed away for you in his cabinets.

It was honestly only the promise of more homecooked food that had finally lured the two of you out this afternoon, after which you'd make a stop at your mother's and then grab Shouto's bodyweight in groceries before returning to—well, certain activities.

"Next time?" you prompted Shouto, eyebrows raising.

"My rut," he said, and bolt of heat went through you like lightning. You had not thought of that.

Touya made another noise like he was repulsed.

"I would love to not talk about that in front of your family," you said to Shouto, mortified.

"I would love to not be a part of this family," Touya said darkly from the table.

Fuyumi cast him a stricken glance, but before she could say anything, there was a knock at the door. You watched a strange expression overtake Natsuo's face, the same one that came over Shouto's when he was trying not to look too smug.

When Fuyumi returned, it was with a familiar blonde alpha in tow. Keigo grinned around her, leaning forward and giving you and then Shouto a fist bump.

"Had to be here for the celebration," he drawled, his tone airy, wiggling his eyebrows. He looked as at home in the kitchen as he had a lanky preteen, come out to play for an afternoon. "And Rumi's on her way too. Congrats, lovebirds."

You noted Touya's corner was suddenly a fraction more subdued, and your eyes darted to Natsuo again, a brow raising. He watched you back, tucking his cellphone into his pocket with deliberate focus.

You managed to steer Shouto towards Natsuo's side of the table while Keigo threw himself down eagerly next to Touya. Touya bristled like a cat over a bath, grumbling something, but it was drowned out by Keigo helping himself to Touya's personal space, an arm draping behind Touya's chair. Touya shoved him off, swearing.

But beneath the white mess of his hair, you thought the tip of his ear was a rather telling shade of pink.

"Called in reinforcements?" you asked Natsuo as you settled in next to him.

Shouto glanced over, frowning that your attention was elsewhere. You slipped your hand into his, almost melting with the way his thumb stroked over your skin, barely resisting the urge to pinch him for how cute he was.

For his part, Natsuo smiled, patting his pocket pointedly.

"That," he said, returning his gaze to his older brother as he squawked about Keigo's proximity, all dismay with you and Shouto forgotten. A smile pulled at Natsuo's mouth. "And I might have one more bet to win."

[livelaughloveloak]

𓂅 WISHUROSES ⊰ 🎡

𖦹 pairing : earth1610!miles morales x reader

𖦹 summary : random scenarios and headcanons of miles as your boyfriend

𖦹 author's note : y'all I'm literally running out of ideas so I would appreciate it if you guys sent me some requests 😭 btw this isn't proofread

you and him definitely have a snapstreak but it was on accident. he randomly snapped you and you'd snap him back on a daily so now you two are just stuck with a 200+ snapstreak.

he bought you a Polaroid camera for your birthday and you ended up using up most of the film on him.

you have the pictures up on the board hanging up in your room

HE'S A COMPLETE SWEET HEARTTTT through actions or through text he'll show his love for you either way.

you pulled back from the tight hug miles pulled you into and looked up at his face. "miles you have that smug look on your face again." you poked his cheek and laughed. miles gasped and was quick to defend himself although he was in fact smiling like an idiot. "I do not!!"

if he's not busy with spiderman business, school, family problems, or hanging out with you then he's busy texting you instead.

he might go to an advanced private school but he refuses to write sentences properly.

you'd receive messages from him like these

inaminit

whaddup

nuhuh

luv u

wya?

he'll abuse the living hell out of emojis when texting you

"yup 😎😎😎😎😎😎💪💪💪"

"wdym no ☹️☹️😒😒🤨🤨🤨"

omw Mami 😋😋😋🤟🏿🤟🏿🤟🏿🤟🏿🤟🏿🤟🏿

he'll ask you for help when it's washday for his hair. his scalp is sensitive so you make sure to be extra careful

he has your contact saved as mi alma. one time his mom saw the contact name pop up on his phone and questioned him about it. he freaked out and started blabbering nonsense

he tells you stories about his adventures when his uncle aaron was still alive.

he has a picture of you as his wallpaper and a pic of you guys together as his lockscreen

he draws you two matching pfps

will definitely give you a new drawing everytime he can

was sweating bullets when he finally revealed to you that he was spiderman.

the pressure was quickly lifted off of his shoulders once you said that you accepted him and understood.

he's still scared that you'd be his canon event and swears he'll never let you die

"even if I have to destroy this universe as long as you're alive I'll be alright." you pinched his cheek and smiled. "don't be silly miles" a groan escaped his mouth as you giggled. "mami stopppp I'm being serious right now."

he let's you win in games just to see you happy but if it's basketball he's not gonna hold back 😭🙏

has his face buried in your neck while sleeping. he says it's because "I'm cold and you just happen to be warm" but yet again it's the middle of summer.

will be jumping up and down our of joy when you bought him new Jordans for his birthday

he has a bracelet with your name engraved into it and he wears it proudly

his phone album is filled with pictures of you. you and him fight eachother whenever you catch him trying to take a candid 0.5 picture of you

he 100% calls you "my heart"

says the most old man type of comebacks when playfully arguing with you

"yeah well you can go kick rocks!!"

"boohoo buckaroo"

"too bad so sad"

"nuh uh" or in other times "yuh huh"

"whatever pal"

"listen here buddy"

you two wear matching pajamas when you have sleepovers

don't get me started on this man and saying the "rizz" jokes...

"rizzanator is what I am"

"let's have a rizz off"

"call me the rizzmaster"

he'll airdrop you the most random memes and burst out laughing when seeing your reaction

he gifted you a promise ring with both of your initials engraved into it as an anniversary gift

miles won you a teddy bear in a fair and now you both call it your "child"

don't expect to get a warning because miles will randomly FaceTime you out of nowhere.

he'd give you a spiderman suit so you could match with him

when you first met his mom she liked you without hesitation and asked to take a picture with you. she made miles take the picture 😭

overall a sweet guy and will give you the princess treatment you deserve!!

﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉

July 4, 2023 | All rights reserved to @livelaughloveloak • Do not repost, reupload, translate, modify, or claim any of my work as your own. ✮

art in the polaroids are made by purpletunabread on twitter and koscribbls on instagram

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for calling my boyfriend babygirl

let me clarify upfront: my boyfriend has never expressed discomfort with this, and says he likes it, so it’s potentially a non-issue, but it’s still bugging me. this has been ongoing for a little over a month and i feel like i’m going nuts. forgive me if any of the language i use here isn’t correct, i don’t know how else to get the ideas across - feel free to correct me if i could be saying things more inclusively. sorry that this is rambly also. small nsfw warning (nothing too explicit)

i (22m) have been dating my boyfriend (19ftm) for a little over a year. i’m cis and he is trans. admittedly i’m not like… the most well versed in trans issues but i love him more than life itself so i really try to be respectful of him. he was bullied pretty severely in highschool, not just for being trans but his gender identity was no small part of it, and even though he’s not super dysphoric day to day he’s definitely got some boundaries about it. there are certain compliments he likes and some that upset him (he doesn’t enjoy being called pretty or cute, typically) and he’ll snap at people for referring to him with feminine names or titles like “sis” “girl” etc even if it’s done jokingly.

the thing is he’s rarely, if ever, done that with me? i call him pretty and cute all the time (because he is) and he’s always been fine with it. admittedly the first time i did it i didn’t know it was something that usually bugged him, but he’s never said anything to me about it. everytime i have he’s seemed happy. he’s very outspoken, i pretty firmly believe if it was a problem he’d say something about it - again, he has no issues being firm about this boundary with any of his other friends and family. i was doing this before we started dating, so after we started dating it sort of bled into pet names

again, it was never something i asked him about expressly, but at some point i started calling him, like… princess, babygirl, etc. i only ever do this in private, when its just us or when i’m pretty sure only he can hear me, for a few reasons. my boyfriend doesn’t really pass (entirely his choice. he doesn’t bind his chest and he doesn’t want any gender affirming surgeries or hrt - again, he’s not super dysphoric day to day, he only gets upset when it’s commented on and he can bounce back from it pretty quickly) and again, it seems like it’s always made him happy. at the risk of tmi, it especially seems to make him happy in the bedroom, which is another reason i avoid dropping these pet names in front of anyone else. it’s private and i don’t think it’s anyone else’s business.

so. to put this mildly. we went to a house party together recently and i got super smashed. it was a pretty big party so we were sticking by each other, and when you’re drunk and your partner is there… well, yeah. i was admittedly being pretty handsy. he didn’t tell me to knock it off or anything, he was reciprocating. at some point he started talking to his best friend from highschool (19mtf, i’ll call her Z) so i reigned myself in but i was definitely still drunk and horny and being clingy. i don’t know Z all that well - she and my boyfriend are very close but she can be pretty harsh, and i appreciate all she does for him so i like her, but we never talk unless he’s there. i’ve had maybe one one-on-one conversation with this woman ever.

they’re talking. i’m also there. i’m not trying to rush him but i definitely want to get home. the conversation lulls and i take the chance to ask my boyfriend if he wants to leave soon, and because i am aforementionedly drunk and horny i drop one of those earlier pet names. before he can respond to me, Z snaps at me. she says not to call him that and that i was being a creep - this alarms me and was kind of frustrating since i wasn’t even talking to her, and i recognize i’m not in a headspace to argue? with her? so i just tell my boyfriend to come find me when he wants to leave and i wander outside. he finds me about 5-10 minutes later and we head home.

it doesn’t get brought up again that night but a day or so later i text Z to ask her what she meant by me being a creep, because it was bugging me. she says that it’s obvious i’m fetishizing my boyfriend’s gender identity, that the fact i call him those things brings up major red flags, etc. i tell her that my boyfriend doesn’t have an issue with it. she says it doesn’t matter and asks me why i want to call him those names in the first place, and posits that maybe i don’t actually want to be dating a boy - that i just like the idea of dating a boy and actually want to be with a woman. i’m gay, so this is VERY out of pocket to me. i tell her my boyfriend is not a woman and end the conversation there, but it DOES stick with me. so, very belatedly, i ask my boyfriend what he thinks of all this. i adore him so much and i hate hate hate the idea i could’ve been treating him like that, even unintentionally. he says the pet names never bothered him and he’s never felt like that, and that he’s fine with me specifically doing it because he trusts me and knows i don’t see him as a girl.

so, whatever. she has a problem but me and my boyfriend don’t. i try to move on, but the next time i see her she asks if i’ve apologized/reflected at all. i tell her no, because my boyfriend said i have nothing to apologize for and it seems like a non-issue. she is now avoiding me, refuses to be in the same room as me, and will declare to anyone who asks that she doesn’t want to be near someone who fetishizes trans people and she doesn’t feel safe around me. my boyfriend tries to talk to her but she insists i need to apologize at the bare minimum, but to who? even if i did apologize to my boyfriend i wouldn’t mean it and he wouldn’t want it. Z is his long-time best friend, i can’t exactly go the rest of our relationship just avoiding her. so i have no damn idea where to go from here.

on some level, i worry she’s right? i honestly don’t know why i started calling him those things. i think it started as a joke but i just kept doing it when i noticed he seemed to like it. in hindsight that was maybe shitty of me, but i trust him to tell me when something i do is making him uncomfortable. it’s not like i can do that over, but if he ever told me to stop i would. it’s definitely true that if you saw my boyfriend on the street you’d probably assume he’s a woman, but i’ve never been attracted to anyone who actually identifies as a woman before. i’ve only ever liked men, and no matter what he looks like he is a man. this whole situation did make me think about how i think about him, and i’ve realized that, like… i want to have kids with him one day, and ideally i’d like him to carry them. ideally, but id never make him. if he decided tomorrow that he wanted to medically transition and go the whole nine yards i’d support him. he’s my whole world, i just want him to be happy. but does the fact i want him to carry children prove her right?

i’m just. confused. i feel like i’m running myself in circles. Z knew him in highschool so she was there when bullying over his gender was at his worse, so i get why she’s protective. she’s also trans herself so she undoubtedly understands this stuff better than me. but i’ve heard it’s normal for trans people to have complicated relationships with gender, so it’s normal to be okay with gendered language from some people and not others (like only letting close friends use certain pronouns for you). i figure it’s like that, but it’s not my gender so… i don’t know. should i just stop calling him those pet names altogether, even though i know at this point he enjoys them, to be safe? am i an asshole for calling him those things in the first place / would i be an asshole if i kept doing it?

What are these acronyms?

[elllisaaa]

skz as love songs

-> pairing : skz x fem!reader

-> words count : 3.1k words

-> genre : fluff, hurt/comfort

-> sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language.

-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated !

-> author's note : i really enjoyed writing this, and i might have some ideas for longer fics based on songs because of this event lmao ! hope you will like this as much as i liked writing it !

-> masterlist | skz masterlist | 1k event masterlist

BANGCHAN

-> All of Me by John Legends  

"love your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections"

→ You know that everytime you doubt yourself, you can count on Chan to remind you of your value, of how beautiful you are. In his eyes, you’re the prettiest girl in the world, the prettiest girl he’s ever seen. So he never understood how you could not see how incredible you were, how you could not see how perfect you were. 

“- But I’m not perfect…”

That’s what you always answer him everytime he tells you that, and everytime, he argues the same thing. 

“- Yes, but even your flaws are perfect, because you work on yourself and try to be a better person every time you make a mistake.”

And what can you say ? If you’re perfect, then Chan always has the perfect word to remind you of that, and the perfect hugs to comfort you. 

"‘cause I give you all of me, and you give me all of you"

→ Because when Chan loves, it’s with his whole heart, his whole soul. When he falls in love, he falls in deep, he falls in forever. Just like he throws himself in work because he’s so passionate about it, he gives his all for his relationship, he does whatever it takes to treat you right. 

“- Channie, you didn’t have to do all that…”

You were surrounded by candles and rose petals as you walked into your kitchen, your favorite meals on the counter, apparently homemade, and Chan standing in a suit in front of you, a warm smile on his face. 

“- Yes, I had to. I had to show you how grateful I am to spend another year with you, because you make me so happy.”

And that’s an understatement. Everytime you kiss him, he feels like the luckiest man on earth. One day, he knows that he’ll marry you. One day, he knows that he’ll have a family with you. One day, you’ll really hold his whole life in your hands, even if you already are with the way you make his heart beat and come alive. 

LEE MINHO

-> Cardigan by Taylor Swift

"you drew stars around my scars, but now I’m bleeding"

→ Minho has always watched you very closely, knows every little shift in your mood just by your body language. He had learned every little part of you like the moves of his favorite choreo, one he’ll never get tired of, one he’ll never forget. He had taken care of you when you were at your lowest, always reminding you that it was okay not to be okay sometimes. 

“- I’m sorry…

- You don’t have to be sorry for that sweetheart, it’s normal to be sad sometimes but just remember that I will always be there to support you.”

It’s like his words were magical, as if without you needing to tell him all about what you had been going through, he already knew it all. Sometimes, you wondered if Minho was an angel, because one touch from him, one word from him, and suddenly it was like you were healed. 

“- Being weak is not a bad thing, it’s what makes you stronger.”

If only he knew how grateful you were to have him, because he was truly helping you become more confident and overcome your past. 

"I knew you’d come back to me"

→ Sometimes, he’d have his bad times too. And even if he encouraged you to open up about it, he couldn’t follow his own advice and distanced himself from you. Minho would not be very talkative, nor would he seek your affection like he normally would. But just as much as he’s patient with you, you are with him and he’s grateful that you understand that he needs time for himself. 

“- Can I be the little spoon tonight ?”

You smile at his question, and that’s all Minho needs to bury his face in your chest, sighing in relief when you hold him tight against you and run your fingers through his hair. 

“- Are you ready to talk about it ?”

Mimicking you, he nodded and took some time to think before telling you what was on his mind these past days. Minho’s love was like a little cocoon, a shelter far away from the world, where you could be honest with each other and spend everyday basking in each other's presence. Sometimes, love doesn’t need words. 

SEO CHANGBIN

-> I Think I’m In Love by Kat Dahlia

"I didn’t think it could be true, let alone that it would be you"

→ It’s not that Changbin doesn’t believe in love, that’s quite the opposite actually, but more so that he doesn’t have the time to think about it because of his job. But the day he met you, it was like fate giving him a sign, telling him that love wasn’t going to stay out of his life anymore. And as much as he tried to contain himself, he came to realize that maybe, he should let you enter in his heart. 

“- Do you feel the same ?”

Your glazed eyes plunged in his, and even if Changbin knew you were a little drunk, he couldn’t help his heartbeat to fasten.

“- I don’t know, what are you talking about ?

- Love.”

You out of all the people he knew was the least he expected to fall for, and even less to feel the same about him. But he wasn’t mad about it. In the end, love was never logical. 

"baby, I’m falling, I hope you catch me when I’ll land"

→ It’s how it felt to be with you : falling. Changbin never thought that the expression falling in love could one day find a literal meaning, but he was wrong. And Changbin also never thought that he would love this sensation, and he was wrong again. 

“- Are you okay Binnie ?”

He lifted his head to look at you, smiling at him so sweetly he felt like a teenager all over again. 

“- Yes… I was just thinking.

- About what ?

- How grateful I am to have you by my side.”

It was Changbin’s turn to smile when he saw your cheeks redden. But he had never been more serious. Because yes, it was a little scary to dive into the unknown like that, but it was also exciting to go for new adventures. Moreover, it was the firm conviction that you would be there with him, that you were falling with him, for him, that made it so beautiful to be in love with you.

HWANG HYUNJIN

-> Infinity by Jaymes Young

"baby this love, I’ll never let it die"

→ Hyunjin had always been a hopeless romantic, dreaming about living a fairytale since he was child. He viewed love as something enchanting, thrilling and ultimately beautiful. Nothing could ever deter him from chasing after you, because he knew for a fact that you were the love of his life, his soulmate. He knew it since the day you met, knew it since the first time your eyes crossed.

“- Don’t cry princess, I will be back in no time.

- I know, but still… I’m gonna miss you like crazy.”

It was the same thing every time he prepared to leave. No matter if it was for several months or just a few days. Everytime, it felt so wrong to be away from him, and he felt exactly the same. It was just another proof that you were made for him.

“- Me too, but we’re stronger than that, you know it. We’ll always figure it out, we’ll always find a way. As long as you’re mine and I’m yours, everything will be alright.”

Loving Hyunjin was like that sometimes, like the feeling of having finally found your home.

"‘cause you’re the reason I believe in fate, you’re my paradise." 

→ As an artist, Hyunjin had tons of sketchbooks filled with drawings of you. He liked to say that you were his muse, because even though he was not representing you, every piece of art he made was ultimately inspired by your person. It could be something you loved, some art style you told him you appreciated. In the end, everything was linked to you. 

“- Thank you for doing this for me princess, it means a lot to me.”

You kissed his cheek with a big smile on your face, admiring the painting of you he just finished and for which you posed for hours, sparkles in your eyes.

“- I’m always happy to help you create, and everytime it turns out amazing. I’m honored to be your inspiration !”

But you were so much more than that. You were his reason to live. You were his other half. You were the reason the colors were so bright in his world. You were the reason he felt everything so hard. 

“- You’re not my inspiration, you’re my muse.”

And he meant even above art. He would do everything in his power to keep you by his side forever. 

HAN JISUNG

-> It’s U by Cavetown

"if you’re hurt, then I’ll fix you, if you’re blind, then I’ll describe the view." 

→ Life has not always been peaceful for Jisung. Sometimes, it was hard to even go out and see other people. Sometimes, it was hard to even talk to someone else. But when it came to you, everything felt so easy, everything felt so natural. You were always willing to help him, to support him through his worst states. 

“- I’m bothering you, you have work to do. 

- Baby, look at me.”

Jisung obeyed and stared at your soft gaze, feeling tears pricking his eyes again. He wanted to stay here in your arms forever and never have to face reality ever again. 

“- You’re more important than everything else. I’ll always be there for you. Whenever you need me, just call, and I’ll be right by your side. You can count on me.”

And you knew you could count on him too. When you were too tired to do the dishes or the laundry, he’ll do it for you. When he was too tired to wash his hair or take off his makeup, you’ll do it for him. Everything you did for him, he’ll do it for you too. 

“- Thank you.”

Jisung often felt the need to tell you how grateful he was to have you in his life. Loving you was like being all cuddled in a warm blanket with a hot chocolate during a cold winter day. Loving you was comfortable. 

"it’s always been you."

→ He always made fun of his friends who loved to watch these silly romantic movies where the main characters fell in love at first sight, believing that it was not real and could never happen, especially to him. But you came into his life like a hurricane, and suddenly, everything turned upside down. 

“- When did you start liking me ?”

You pretended to think about it for several minutes, too long for Jisung who whined at you for being so mean to him, making you giggle so cutely. 

“- I’m joking baby ! I have liked you since Chan introduced you to me. You were very charming, you know… 

- You were more charming, gorgeous, beautiful. I was starstruck.”

Jisung grinned as you blushed from his compliments, but deep down, he felt butterflies erupting in his stomach all over again, just like the first time he saw you. He needed reassurance often, but when you said that type of thing, he was convinced that destiny had plans for the two of you. Even before he had known you, it had always been you. 

LEE FELIX

-> In Luv With U by Finn

"I’m in love with you, more than summer and afternoons."

→ You came into Felix’s life like a sunset on a warm morning, with the sound of waves crashing on the beach echoing in the distance and the scent of the sea. It was like summer love. It was soft, natural, without overcomplication. You didn’t think too much of what was happening between the two of you, and neither Felix did. All he wanted was to make the most of your time together.

“- You can open your eyes.”

As you listened to his whispered command, you discovered that he had laid a blanket on the sand and that a picnic was laying on top of it. You turned around to smile at Felix.

“- You prepared all that just for me ?

- Why wouldn’t I ?”

You only kissed him by way of answer, running excitedly to sit on the blanket while Felix contemplated your figure from where he was standing behind you. Yeah, why wouldn’t he do that for you when you brought sunshine back in his life ? And to say that he didn’t do the same to you would be a lie. You were a perfect match. 

"I don’t know where I belong anymore, I belong to you."

→ There were times during which Felix didn’t know if he made the right choices. He was the most positive person you knew, but sometimes, doubt overcame him anyway. But even when he was lost, Felix knew that he had someone to rely on, someone to talk to, someone to ease all his worries. Everytime, it felt like he was letting you see his raw emotions, but you never made him feel ashamed for that. 

“- It’s okay to feel like that sometimes Lixie, and I know that you’re strong and that you’ll figure it out. You always figure it out.”

Even if he wanted to believe it, you could see that a shadow was still casting the beautiful light of his eyes. 

“- And if I don’t ?

- Then I’ll be there to help you, and we’ll do that together.”

You smiled when you saw his own tugging at his lips. You were always here to remind him that no matter what happened, you would always be there. You were his focal point when he was lost, reaching out a hand for him to take and bring him back home, bring him back to you. 

KIM SEUNGMIN

-> Paris in the Rain by Lauv

"‘cause anywhere with you feels right, anywhere with you feels like Paris in the rain."

→ The first time Seungmin got to Paris, it was because of work, and he knew that you would love it here. So the next time he came to visit the city, it was with you. He spent the whole trip looking at you all excited about all the things you wanted to do, looking at you like you were holding his whole world in your hands. And you kind of were. 

“- Isn’t the view incredible !? I can’t believe some people get to see that everyday…

- You’re more pretty to look at, and I’m so lucky to be the only one seeing you every morning and every night.”

The blush creeping on your cheeks didn’t hold you back from returning the compliment. Seungmin didn’t know if it was the atmosphere, or the fact that it was the first time he had the chance to take you on a trip, but he felt his heart swell just knowing that he had you all for himself, that you were here with him and only him. 

“- You’re so cheesy…

- Yeah, but you love me.”

And neither of you could hold back the smiles stretching out your lips. 

"I look at you now and I want this forever."

→ It wasn’t rare for Seungmin to call you his wife in his head. In fact, he referred to you as that a lot as a joke, even when you were with other people. And everytime, both of you would laugh it off, even if you couldn’t help loving the idea of this silly little antic becoming reality. Because you knew your boyfriend like the back of your hand, you noticed how his ears and cheeks grew red as he introduced you to some of his friends as his wife. You smiled sweetly, not correcting him, but waited until later to talk about it.

“- So… Where’s my ring ?”

Again, Seungmin felt himself blush and whined, burying his head in the crook of your neck to hide his embarrassment. 

“- I’m sorry love, it just slipped from my mouth.”

He knew that he was going to marry you one day, but he didn’t want to rush things and scare you, hell, he didn’t even decide on a ring to buy you. He wanted to wait a little longer to be sure that you weren’t a dream that will soon vanish.

“- Well, I don’t mind it as long as I really become your wife.

- I love the sound of that.”

And you did too. Seungmin couldn’t wait to be yours forever, because that’s all he ever wanted. 

YANG JEONGIN

-> Dancing in a Daydream by Roses & Revolution

"it’s you and me, dancing in a daydream, just you and me, lost in the clouds."

→ Pushing open the door of your apartment, the smell of food hit Jeongin as soon as he stepped a foot inside, a smile spreading on his lips as he heard you greeting him from the kitchen. He quickly discarded his jacket and shoes before joining you, sliding his arms around your waist and spooning you into a back hug as you continued to chop off vegetables. 

“- How was your day baby ?

- Exhausting… All I wanted was to be home with you, couldn’t stop thinking about coming home.”

You nobbed your head along, sliding the vegetables in your pan before turning around and cupping his face.

“- Well, you’re with me now, nothing to worry about anymore.”

Jeongin hummed happily, burying his face in your hair and holding you tight against him. Yes, just you and him, it was all he needed. 

"and if I open my eyes, if I open my eyes, will it all unravel ?"

→ Jeongin tried to be as sneaky as possible in order to not wake you up as he got out of bed and went to the kitchen. He grabbed a glass and filled it up with cold water, hoping that it would help him get over this bad dream. It happened rarely, but when it did, it was always very frightening. He almost didn’t notice when you joined him, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes.

“- What are you doing awake baby ?

- I… I just had a nightmare, don’t worry.

- You want to talk about it ?”

You sat down with him on the couch, straddling his lap and running your hands through his hair to soothe him.

“- It’s stupid really… I was coming home and you were not there, and I searched for you everywhere and couldn’t find you. It was as if you never existed. It was so scary, I felt so lost without you.

- But I’m here, yeah ? I’ll always be there, I promise, I’m not going to disappear.”

Jeongin smiled at you before he kissed you softly. Sometimes, it was hard to believe that you were his, because you were such a dream come true, and he wished to keep you by his side as long as you’ll let him.

-> i don't allow any copies, reposts or translations of my work.

skz taglist (fill in this to be added) :

@binwons @minnies-babie @yoongles2025 @thicccurls @caitlyn98s @hildaortara @sharonxdevi

[yeetus-feetus]

Batfam incorrect quotes (vines)

Dick: everyone's been asking about you Damian

Damian: then keep asking! That whole family cast me out Dick!

Dick: only because you think you're straight

Damian: I am straight!

Dick: well you can tell that to mom, and mom, and your sperm doner dad, and dad's boyfriends, and-

•

Tim: so I'm sitting there, barbecue sauce on my titties-

Steph: *falls to the ground and dies in a fit of laughter*

•

Kon: Don't tell your father

Tim: kiss one another

Kon: die for each other

Tim:❗❗❗

•

Dick: *throws Jason's gun away*

Jason: what the fUck RicHaRd

•

Jason: hello Tim.

Tim: hi, Jason.

Jason: That outfit looks familiar...

•

Duke: toss me my keys

Duke: ... I said my keys!

Steph: I thought you said printer

Duke: now why the fuck would I say-

•

Cass: what did you get for question 12?

Barbara: I got 18

Steph: I got 9.5 ???

Dick: I got Abraham Lincoln ... for some reason. I don't-

•

Damian: Don't fuck with me! I have the power of God and anime my side! HYAAAAA!!

•

Jason: iis there anything better than pussy?

Jason: yes! A really good book!

•

Reporter: where do you keep all your gadgets while fighting? It's incredible!

Cass: Belt.

•

Damian with his new hairstyle: stop saying I look like Tim! He's dumb and he's a coward!

Damian: AND I'M NOT A COWARD!

•

Kori: hey babe, happy one year! <3

Dick: ??? I'm 27

(they're idiots your honour)

•

Jason, about Bruce: his hair, wack. His gear, wack. His car, wack. His footsteps, wack. The way that he talks, wack. The way that he doesn't even like to smile, wack.

Jason: me? I'm tight as fuck!

•

Duke: WAKE UP SLEEPYHEAD!!

Tim: what? What's going on!?

Bernard: what the fuck man?

Duke: 😱🤭!!

•

Jason: hey everybody, today Tim replaced me so I'm starting a Kickstarter to put him down. The benefits of killing him would be-

•

Duke: hey how y'all-

Titus: *growling and snarling*

Duke: AH! get your fuckin dog bitch!

Damian: it don't bite

Duke: YES IT DO!

•

Barbara, watching Dick and Wally through the cameras: two bros chillin in a hottub 5 feet apart coz they're not gay

•

Jason: in the League of Assassins, we got-

Damian: 👶

Jason: whose baby is you??

•

Dick: this chicken is almost as juicy as my ass

Cass: 🤨?

Bruce: 🤦

Alfred: 😐

Everyone else: 🙄

•

Tim: you wouldn't like me before my coffee

Damian: that's so weird because I fucking hate you all- Everytime.

•

Jason: HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR ME!!

Bruce: THAT'S MY OPINION!!

Dick: 👁️👄👁️

[puteetup]

Talking Stage

Hi Tumblr! It's nice going back here. It's been a long time. Daming ganap and stress and all. Biggest painful and heartache was my dad's gone. He passed away due to many complications and I saw everything, my family and I have been through a lot. And I was really tired and feeling down but still acting up as a strong independent woman because I have no really choice. HAHAHAHAH.

Ayun, been crying and sad for days, trying to distract myself thru ML, watching movies and series, I tried Bumble. I was shocked maraming naglalike. Me being the ugly duckling. And I talked to different people, but there's this 20 yr-old bb boi na nakausap ko. And dahil siguro ambait nya. Kaya nituloy ko lang syang ichat sa IG. He had a problem - lovelife, family and his studies. And it turned out he's just 18. :( Ang lala. Kasi 12 years gap namin.

Nung una kasi panay view nya sa stories ko, and gising pa sya ng madaling araw. HAHAHAH. And I was starting to get worried sa kanya. Ayun. Hanggang sa nasabi nyang may problem sya, and I offer if gusto nya bigyan ko sya ng part-time. And he agreed later on. And I also lent him money for his enrolment sa OLFU as first year college. And I think that's the start of Sugar Mommy Era ko. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. Lord naman ee.

Pero ayun nga, me being so drawn into a person who needs help - Marlon, Patrick, Edwin, EJ, Renan, Kervin and there this bb boi. I literally helped him, gave him gifts. And here I am still supporting him. And malapit na kami sa isa't isa. :( First boy na katalking stage ko. First na nagtiwala sakin and he still sends goodmorning and goodnight chatsand mwaaas. HAHAHAHA. We had deep talks already. And I don't even know what to feel. The fact na he's so young, I know na he can change his mind anytime. Just like what he said na if ever tataya sya ulit sa love, he will choose me kasi sakin lang sya unang nagtrust at naging comfortable. But I know it was maybe his first time to have someone like me.

I am happy talking to him. I am happy how he sends updates on me. And I feel sad everytime he took a longer time to reply. And ang mga ex ng bb boi, hang gaganda. For sure chix din talaga gusto nya. Haiys. Ang hirap, di na nga ko maganda, mas sobrang tanda pa sa kanya. Di naman din sya kagwapuhan, but he's a good person. I know that. Lahat naman ng nagustuhan ko mabait. HAHAHAH. Chix lang mga hilig, e di ako chix e. Huhu. Parang ang naiisip ko, magbabago din kasi isip nya e. Kahit pa sinasabi nyang di sya mawawala. baka nag iistay lang sya kasi kailangan nya pa ko. Baka kaya sya nagchachat pa din para lang di ako mawala kasi kailangan nya pa ko. Saka he's still friend with his ex. Sinasabi nya na di na nya mahal, pero for sure may feelings pa sya. He still cares for her. Anong laban ko don, maganda na yun, kasing age nya pa, tas kalapit bahay lang nya. HAHAHAH.

And we have plans, sya nag aya. Magpupunta sa horror house. HAHAHAH yung totoo? Unang date sa horror house? HAHAHAHAH looking forward to it. But I don't know what to do anymore. I want to help him 'til the end, but I am afraid na mawala ko na naman yung sarili ko. And gusto ko na ba sya? Gusto na ba nya ko? Baka we're just filling up this void in our hearts temporarily, kasi pareho kaming may pinagdadaanan. Dko din alam if gusto ko na sya at baka namimiss ko lang na may taong kinecare, and this is the first time na nagcare din sakin yung tao kahit pano. HAHAHAH. Si Kapre naman din, kaso kasi pasulpot sulpot yun. And this bb boi naman, minsan ganun din, but he's being consistent kahit pano. Tho lagi ko syang inaasar sa iba and he asked one time but ko sya laging pinupush magkajowa, gusto ko na daw ba sya mawala sa buhay ko. HAHAHAHAH Very cutie. Kinikilig ako minsan, but naiisip ko, pano nga kung maging kami? First bf ko sya tas sobrang bata. Ni hindi namin magagawang ipakilala ang isat isa sa mga parents namin. HAAAAAIYS.

LORD BAKA NAMAN. HAHAHAHAH Pero nakakatawa na yung time na di nya namention yung ex nya na isa tapos nakita ko IG profile ni gurl na may pics nila, umiyak ako at nasaktan. Kasi iniisip ko baka nga sila pa at niloloko nya lang ako. That same day, shinare nya yung about don, nagcall pa kami. HAHAHAHAH Hangkulit lang ng timing. Na parang naramdaman nya na nagdaramdam ako. HAHAHAHHAH. Tas dun nya nga nasabi na if ever magmahal sya ult, ako daw pipiliin nya. AHAHAHAHAH TALAGA BA BB BOI?

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIYS. Tanda ko na Lord para sa ganito. HAHAHAH Ganito nalang ba talaga role ko? ANg mag alaga ng mga kailangan ng kalinga? Pano naman ako? HAHAHAHAH. LOL.

Miss you tumblr. SALAMAT ANDYAN KA. Iniisip ko na magsend ng confession sa FEU Secret Files ee. HAHAHAHHAHA. lol.

Byeers!! Sa susunod ulit.

[starillusion13]

can I request a mafia ot8 x reader? where they all kept a secret from her which made her feel betrayed like she wasn’t a part of the team so like she reverted back to her old self (cold, not talking to them at all, being strictly profesional) and each one of them regrets it

CAN WE GO BACK?

Pairing: Mafia! Ateez x f!reader

Genre: Angst, Mafia, Mature

W.C: 4.2k

Warnings: arguments, regret, trust issues, keeping secrets, mention of death and mafia business and deals, traumas and betrayals.

Networks: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

Note: Thanks for reading and reblogging. I appreciate all of your reviews and feel free to text me if you want. Spread love to others, not hate. I swear if I write one more angst fic then I will end up crying a river. I have made this fic a little bit less angst and let me know how it is.

"Where are they?" You asked Mr. Na with balancing the snacks in your hold.

He looked at you with a frown and glanced at the papers. It was afternoon and you thought to meet your boyfriends in the office but they were not there. It's unusual for them to not be there without telling you where they are going to.

You pout and placed the snacks on the table and munched on one of your favorites. You waited for him to reply but he seemed to return back to his work. "Hey! I asked you something and you are ignoring me. You know who I am right?" You asked him in a threatening tone and he was still not fazed by you.

"I can't hear you. I'm busy." He didn't look up from his paper-works and you got mad.

You slammed your hand on the table in front of him and glared at him. He rolled his eyes with a bored look on his face.

"How will I know where  are they? And also didn't you have a mission this morning? Why are you back so early and annoying me?"

"Me annoying you. I would never." You faked a hurt look on your face and acted to have a heart attack. "I had my missions and I did well. I was really disappointed that those shitheads were not afraid of me at first but were insulting me more. So instead of letting to have them taste of my precious words, I planted some bullets in their head."

He chuckled, "as expected from you."

"But don't you really know where they are...they are not even picking up my calls." You looked down at your phone, still no missed calls or any messages.

"How will I know about it? You are their girlfriend and if they are keeping something so confidential to them, it can only meant that it's to remain within the family and as you are also part of the family so I hope they won't tell me anything about it." He said and went back to his work.

You are their family.

"But they didn't told you anything like if I return or something and where to find them?"

He glared, "no. But they were pretty much in hurry when they left the place and I thought you knew about it. So don't ask me again."

"Jaemin-" "Don't call me by my name during working hours."

You scoffed, "just now you told me that I'm their girlfriend and now you are raising your voice at me. Also, mafia business is for 24/7 so I can call you anything anytime and anywhere."

Jaemin clicked on a website and replied, " it was good when you were of cold personality and kept your distance with everyone. It's pretty much annoying that you always pick me to disturb and interrupt my works."

"Oh come on Jaemin, you love me too much. And just remember if I return back to that self, it will be only when something like in the past has hurt me again. And I really don't want to be like that again. I like being so happy and free everytime."

You were sad and your words were pronounced clearly that made him understand that he should not have said those harsh words to you. He knew how pathetic and vulnerable your past was but still his work load and you in between made him slip those words.

He patted your head, "y/n, I'm sorry. Really. I didn't mean like that. I really love to see you so bubbly. They have totally changed you and to see you happy with them is really the best thing in this building."

"You still don't trust me?"

"No no you are the lovely and the best sister I have got here and please don't mind my words like this. Please don't feel sad."

He was really trying his best to hold back his tears and make you trust him that the little suspicion he had back then when you joined the company had disappeared eventually. He always thought of you as the distraction in their life but now he sees you as a blessing. He is a best brother to you.

"Never. I can't feel sad with you atleast. You are not getting rid of me anytime soon."

A ring from Jaemin's phone interrupted your conversation with him, you both watched the name displayed on the screen 'Sir Yunho'. His eyes went wide and stared at the phone and you clutched yours in the hold.

You urged him to pick it up and put it on speaker. He received the call and you leaned forward to scan the drafts on the computer screen on which he was working.

"Has Y/n returned yet?" The voice from the other end was rough and tired.

"She-" you pressed a finger on your lips and signalled him to not tell them about your arrival. "No she hasn't returned yet, let me ask her."

"No let her be. We will be back soon from the business. If she returns then tell her we are out for lunch." He spoke in a hurry.

The call was passed to someone else. Jaemin was surprised that they just told to not tell you that they were out somewhere and even told him to lie to you. He was watching you how you were staring blankly at your phone.

"Jaemin, what happened?" Hongjoong was angry but still he was trying to contain his anger. The younger boy was distracted and soon collected himself to reply back.

"Oh just, some works are pending so I got distracted."

"okay."

The call was cut and you stood up. He was about to say something to you but you raised your hand making him shut and you turned towards the meeting room. The room which belongs to you too but now somehow it felt many secrets are hidden behind it, from you.

he watched you walking towards the room with lost eyes and tired form. He shook his head at the thought that it was not good whatever was going to happen because it's not a good decision for them to keep this sudden business hidden from you.

Where were they even? Why didn't they tell you about it?

These thoughts were storming inside your mind after you entered the room. Your fingers curled into a fist and threw the vase which was placed on top of the side shelf above which a beautiful family picture with you smiling with your boyfriends were hanging. You glared at the picture.

"Where are you all? Don't you all trust me that you had to keep this sudden business as a secret from me?"

You harshly wiped away the tears from your eyes and looked around the room. It was same as earlier when  you noticed before leaving in the morning. You slowly walked towards the leader's chair at the end of the table. 

You sat on it and held the armrest tightly. You turned it around to face the wall behind you. The letters on the wall were piercing your eyes which were designed with orange and black LED mini lights, 'ATEEZ'.

Your family.

"Don't you all trust me as your family?"

The more you were thinking about the situation, the more you felt like convincing yourself that you were just overreacting and after they come back from the place, they will tell you the truth and everything related to it but still somewhere you were impatient.

They know that keeping secrets only triggers you but still they chose to do it.

. . .

"Is she here?" Jongho's voice made Jaemin look up from the computer screen.

Jaemin stood up and greeted him and the rest who were chit chatting in the back. "Y-yeah, she just returned right now."

Jongho smiled and said, "you don't have to work on this today. We need this after two weeks so go have some free time with your friends. Don't stress yourself."

Jaemin nodded and sat down.

"Let's head to the meeting room first and she must be waiting for us in the cafeteria." Yeosang's cheerful voice made everyone laugh and there was a warm feeling in their hearts that you were waiting for them.

Jaemin's eyes followed them going to the same direction where you went earlier. Heavy boots clicked the marble floor with dark looks radiating from them but everyone had a small smile resting on their face because of the thought of you.

Seonghwa opened the heavy metal door only to be greeted by broken pieces of fiber scattered on the floors and then he noticed the vase in front of their picture was lying broken.

"Who the hell did this?" Hongjoong's angry voice brought the others attention to the situation.

"Welcome back, Ateez."

Their eyes followed the source of the voice and noticed the leader's chair facing backward to the table. They couldn't see the person sitting on it due to the high rise of the leather of the backrest but the voice was pretty much familiar, the one they crave to listen often, almost every time.

You swiveled around the chair to face them and they noticed you sitting on it with one leg over the another and staring at your phone.

San was last to enter the meeting room and when he closed the door behind him, he noticed the whole situation and the destruction on the floor.

"You look cute when you sit on this chair."

You ignored Hongjoong's compliment and he was surprised that you didn't reply him back. If it was some other time then you would have teased him or said that you always look better than him and then he would have placed you on his lap and proceed with things.

"How did your mission go?" You glared when San went to touch your cheek after asking the question. He thought you were joking so he again raised his hand only to get swatted away by you.

"Sir San, please keep your hands off from me. You should not touch me like this way."

He laughed, " are you putting up a new act again from a movie?"

"Hey let's get some food in the cafeteria." Yeosang said and smiled towards you while approaching you.

You gave both of them a stern look before staring at the man standing across from you in the far end of the table. He was watching you intently.

Hongjoong leaned forward and supported his hands on the edge of the table, "why are you speaking like this? What's with your behavior with them?"

"How does it feel to be the leader and sitting here? Very authentic, right leader?"

Leader...you don't call him this anymore because after the day they turned you into this new personality, you always call them by their name just to feel them more closer. It makes you feel a family with them.

"Why are you asking this all of a sudden?" Seonghwa behind him asked you and you fished your phone inside your pocket of the combat pants and poked the inside of your cheek.

"Why don't you all take a seat? We need to discuss something about business." 

Your words were like a business partner waiting for them to make a deal not their girlfriend who was waiting for their return.

No one budged from their place and you rolled your eyes. You stood up but stayed beside the chair and spin it around. Their eyes followed your movements.

"I thought sitting here will make me the leader but I see that's not the case here."

Wooyoung sat in the second chair at the side of the table.

"Where were you all?" You asked.

Jongho scanned the room to see all of them were busy staring at you and so he said, "we were out for lunch." He nodded in the end.

You bitterly chuckled, "from nine in the morning to this later afternoon...almost four o'clock...you all were out for so long. Just for lunch?"

"We were not out for so long." Hongjoong said confidently.

"Of course. But that's not according to my watch."

"Why the vase is broken?" You smirked at Seonghwa's question.

"Ah finally the question I wanted.well, I broke it."

"Why?"

"And if I ask you the same question Seonghwa, why?"

Mingi interjected, "what do you mean by why?"

San was still standing confused beside the chair on the other side.

"I am asking you all again and for the last time. Where were you all?" Your words were so loud and this sudden yell made some of them surprised and others were still staring at you.

Mingi was quick to reply, "as he said we were out for lunch."

"Don't lie to me. If you don't want to tell the truth then shut up." You clenched your jaw.

"What makes you think like that?" Yunho asked and folded his hands above his chest.

"Oh come on Yunho, you told Jaemin to lie to me that you were out for lunch when you were actually on a secret business. Am I right?"

He was surprised that you knew about it. Wooyoung leaned back to his chair and said, "y/n, it's not like that. That's just a simple issue."

"Then why can't anyone of you tell me where you all were."

Jongho cleared his throat and said, "it's better for you to not know about it."

"Do you think of me as a spy?"

"Y/n no we can't ever think of you like that. Even if you did something wrong then we can always talk it out with each other but we will never suspect you for anything." Jongho quickly stated.

Hongjoong's boot echoed in the room and he stood in front of you. You glared at him when he placed his hand on your shoulder.

"Don't try to manipulate me or try to convince me to trust your lies. You promised me to never hide anything from me but suddenly you all are hiding something from me."

He nodded, "I know but I want you to calm down for me. Please." You scoffed. Another presence made an appearance beside you both but you were yet to notice it but when he spoke up you became more annoyed with the same words.

You pushed away the hand from your shoulder.

"Not always everything can be said to everyone. Sometimes its better to keep some things secret."Seonghwa said and held your hands in his and caressed them a little, "it's for your safety and well being."

He seemed to be calm and contented but deep down he was deeply hurt to see you acting distant with him and not even smiling a bit when he was so near to you. He was holding your hand but he wanted to pull you in a hug.

"We just want to keep you safe, y/n." Yunho stated very slowly and he was sad.

He is always the first person to pull you in a hug and fill you with love and praises and today he would have appreciated you for your success and instead of this dark environment, the room would have filled with laughter when he would have held you up and spin you around in the room.

Mingi stood behind you and prevented you to move away and whispered words to calm you down and to take everything slowly. But you were not in a mood. He was still process the fact that you came to know about the secret business.

You pulled your hands harshly from the grip and shouted which made the person behind you to stumble backward.

"Can you all stop pretending that you all did nothing wrong? If I'm overthinking then let me be like this but you know I hate when my own family hide something from me. It make me feels like I am not trusted. It reminds me of my past."

Wooyoung hesitated to speak anything but still clenched his fist, "no love, we trust you the most. Believe me."

You ignored his words and sat on the chair beside him. Seonghwa was about to say something but Hongjoong held his hand up to make him quiet. The past traumas always triggered you whenever someone lied to you or hide something from you but still he did it.

Rest of them were aware of this situation too. Your words were feeling so distant and you being so hyper was normal for you to act this way. Atleast they should have think about this situation before. You held your head over the table and grabbed your hairs and Wooyoung stared at you with hurtful eyes.

You looked like that old y/n who was with cold heart, piercing eyes and distant space with them. Not their usual y/n with the warm heart, sweet smile and confidence.

Hongjoong was about to pass by you to go towards his chair when he halted in his steps behind you, he raised his hands to pat your head but the younger one beside you grabbed it and glared at him.

"I told you to tell her about the situation but still you were persistent with your decision. Look what you have done." Wooyoung didn't mind to raise his voice at his brother but the leader just nodded to his words and retreated his hand back.

He went to his seat and signaled others to do the same. They all were glancing at you. You were near the leader and San who was across from you was glancing between you and the leader.

He wanted to just pull you towards him and take you away somewhere else just to calm you down and make you feel loved.

When you noticed everyone was seated, you raised your head and blankly asked, "I assume you all to start speaking now. And only the truth."

"We were with your dad and Mr. Lee." Hongjoong started the conversation.

"Don't ever refer that monster as my dad. He is no one to me."

"Mr. Lee's daughter..." he paused and looked around for anyone else to continue and Yunho nodded.

Yunho smiled but quickly erased it when he saw your fuming eyes, "his daughter is engaged to Hongjoong and Seonghwa because once we had a deal in the past to save our organization and today we were there to break the dealership with him."

When the topic finally started. each one of them had a same feelings tugging at their heart. the feeling of regrets. All of them were regretting to keep you oblivion to this.

You scoffed, "engaged?" your eyes took in each of their looks precisely and continued, "so its not about only today. you all were hiding it from me for a long time now. and for how long?"

"it's not like that."

"Yunho, I asked you for how long you all were preparing for this business and when all this engagement happened?" you asked and leaned back into your chair. Mingi was impatiently tapping the top of the table with the back of the pen.

Seonghwa patted Yunho's back  when he was on the verge of tears hearing your harsh and cold tone. he gulped and started to reply but his lost eyes were staring at you and you were not even minding his presence and Mingi chimed in, "last year. your da- I mean Mr. Byun offered this deal so that we could recover from the loss we had in the last year."

Yeosang added, "we thought to not worry you about this whole ordeal and we could have solved it without including you and then pretend that we were never in this situation."

"we always wanted the best for you. please don't feel sad." Wooyound said slowly beside you and you rolled your eyes.

"So I have been lied for one whole year. you made my only chance to go in vain. why? you thought I will be a problem  in this?" you turned towards the leader "were you planning to get married? why did you have to hide this whole thing?"

Jongho was curious, "what only chance you are talking about?"

you smirked at him, "I could have showed Mr. Byun that I have a family which he never gave me. I could have showed him how powerful I am. I am not the weak one he wanted me to be. I could have proved that I am being loved and trusted as a family." You paused and scoffed, “but I think I was delusional all these times.”

Hongjoong clenched his fist on hearing your words and sighed, "Wooyoung and Yunho wanted to tell you about this but I told them and others to keep this discussion away from you. I didn't want to include you because-"

"because you dont trust me. you thought I will support Mr. Byun when you all were crashing to the ground?"

San quickly denied, "no no. we trust you so much y/n. we thought hearing his name or facing him would have hurt you."

Hongjoong nodded and continued, "it would have been more dramatic if people came to know about your relation with Mr. Byun and that you are a part of us inspite of him being our enemy."

"you see me as your enemy?"

"what? no." wooyoung shouted those words at you.

Seonghwa stated quietly, "I'm sorry. I should not have hide these things from you. you should have been told about this earlier. it's really worse for you to find it like this. but trust me we were scared. how to protect you and maintain our organization."

"you made me feel like an outsider."

"I know we did it in that way." Mingi said and looked down.

"After this I can't trust anyone of you like before. Every time now I would feel like you guys are hiding something from me. I will feel like I am somehow related to your enemy and still like before you have the suspicion of me going against you someday."

you paused and inhaled sharply, "I don't know if you guys trust me or not but I have always trusted you more than everything. I trusted you all and whatever you did was to keep me safe and away from this to not hurt me but...atleast you should have let me know about it. My trust would not have broken like this."

Yunho stood up and walked towards you, he turned around your chair and kneeled down, "please Y/n, please we won't hide anything again from you. please talk to me but don't distance yourself from us."

"you gave me no other option. they were engaged all these times, you all met Mr. Byun often and made deals behind my back without even letting me to get a hint of it. I was blinded by the trust that I never noticed you all were lying to me all these times when you were actually going out not to hangout but to meet that monster and this new girl."

You were blinded by the trust that you never noticed they were lying to you.

Wooyoung hugged you from behind, "We only love you. you are everything to me. I never wanted to lie to you but this was the only option. please forget about this and lets go back to normal."

you removed both of their hands from you and stood up. everyone was attentive to your movements. you glanced at the clock and sighed. you were tired and hungry and frustrated. All at the same time and you felt a wave of anger rising inside you.

"you are not leaving us, right?"

"Jongho if I leave right now then where is the thing called 'we can talk out our problems' but yeah that's true that you have made me feel lose my trust on you all."

you paused and then added, "Are you two still engaged with her?"

"yes." both of them quickly replied.

"get rid of her quickly or I will get rid of her from this world."

Both of them nodded.

they all gulped hearing your words and Yeosang grabbed your hand when you stepped forward for the door. you eyed his hand, waited for him to say whatever he wanted but you didn't look in his eyes. you knew if you look at him, you might start crying but you needed some time to recover from this whole situation. 

"I'm sorry."

you knew he was sorry but still you were having so many thoughts that you couldn't still place things right on the places. once your trust is broken, it can't be mended so easily and they knew this. each of them were regretting.

"do you trust me?" your words were meant for all and he nodded quickly. you rolled your eyes and licked your lips.

"the ones who trust me, please follow me to the research room, I have kept the pen drive and file there so I can show you the details of it."

"Will you not eat?" San asked you quietly.

"I am not hungry. Finish the research room process with me and then I need to...I will have some time alone."

you glared towards Hongjoong and Seonghwa and left the room, slamming the door shut behind you. They didn't say anything. after all, it was their fault and you felt betrayed with them hiding things from you for one whole year. Mingi was the next one to leave room to quickly follow you and others sighed.

They need to start to build the trust from the beginning. You wanted to hate them but your trust and love for them was too much to hate them. To forget them as your family.

You smiled towards him and pecked him.

you once said, "how can I trust you?"

he smiled and hugged you, "your enemy is my enemy. our enemy and there is nothing that can come between us to tear us apart. you are the precious and the knot of this family. if someone hurts you, we all will be hurt and get scattered."

“We will never lie to you and there will be no secret between us.”

Was that all a lie then?

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