#incorrect call of duty modern warfare quotes

[cod-dump]

Price: Why is there a COFFIN in the rec room??

Soap: We’re having a funeral for Ghost

Price: WHAT?!

Gaz: He didn’t have one when he ‘died’ so we’re throwing one for him

Price: Wha- You don’t THROW a funeral!

Soap: Well, we are now. The soldiers are writing speeches for it

Price:

Gaz: It’s this weekend, by the way. Don’t miss it or Ghost will think you don’t care about him

Price: … what the fuck-

[metallictastinglifesupportliquid]

Price: Where did you get that bruise? Simon: *flashback to walking into a wall while looking at pictures of Y/N* Simon: I'm in a gang, Captain

[call-of-duty-incorrect-quotes]

Soap: My nosy sisters found out I'm gay and they're upset with me because I never told them.

Ghost: Oh…

Soap: Yeah, they told my mum they had been “wasting their time looking for a woman when they could've found me a guy by now.”

Ghost: You don't need help with that.

Soap, sitting on Ghost's lap: I know.

[octopiys]

Alejandro: I hate verbs in English

Alejandro: I dance

Alejandro: you dance

Rodolfo: si

Alejandro: he dances.

Alejandro: why?

Soap: huh?

Alejandro, pointing at Phillip: is he dancing more than me?

Rodolfo: I don't think so-

Alejandro: six hundred and forty five people dance, and

Alejandro: he dances.

Soap:

Alejandro: how much is this mother fucker dancing?

[tanked-up]

Soldier: What are your thoughts on your partner?

Soap: Partner-? OH GHOST

Soldier: Y-yes

Soap: Hmm well let’s see… he’s obnoxious, self centered, rude, mean, col-

Soldier: Uh… anything positive?

Soap: Well… he’s a good kisser !

Soldier: … yeah I bet

[mactavishenjoyer]

Horangi:"Why the fuck was my boyfriend tied up and shoved into a trash can? Who did it?"

Gaz, who did it:"I have no clue."

Soap, who helped:"maybe he did it himself."

Ghost, who actually didn't do anything:"Damn wish I did it. That fucker is annoying."

[feralgoblinqueen]

Things I’ve heard and said as a bartender in a sketchy dive bar. I’ve just collected them all here and made them about CoD men at my bar. Y/N is the bartender unless stated otherwise. Brought to you from my shower turned sauna as I try to decongest my sinuses. Pollen season is 100% trying to kill me this year. Please laugh at my dumb idea.

————————————

* referring to seeing Graves again*

Price: You make me want to suck start a shotgun.

————————————

Soap: Check me out. *pulls out wallet*

Y/N: Stand up and turn around real quick, please.

Soap: *confused but stands and spins in a circle slowly*

Y/N: *whistles* You look spectacular!

Soap: 🤭 I mean I’d like to pay my tab, but that made my day.

————————————

*141 drunk and harmlessly flirting*

Gaz: Did you get all dolled up me?

Soap: I bet she knew I was coming, you know blue is my favorite color.

Price: She didn’t get dressed up for you muppets! But we do appreciate how you look tonight!

Ghost: *Corralling the two drunkest* You do look very nice, let us know if you want us to get them to stop.

Y/N: Appreciation is best shown as money in the tip jar. *obviously joking but also not really because it was a slow night*

*Ghost and Price laugh, dropping a couple dollars in*

*Gaz and Soap, dead serious begin dumping the contents of their wallets*

Y/N: Guys! It’s a joke! I don’t need your credit cards or this ancient condom… seriously though please throw that away you might get someone pregnant trying to use that. *that packaging showed obvious signs of ware from how long it had sat in his wallet*

Soap: I could get you pregnant with that 😏

Price: Annnnd we’re done! Sorry about Romeo 😬

Ghost: *Grabs Soap’s wallet and drops a $20 in the tip jar* He’s very sorry.

[cyanidebitsg]

Wyvern: Hey Graves can I go on the mission with you, 141, and the Los Vaqueros

Graves: Sure but uh Price isn't going to be there only his Lieutenant and a Sargent

Wyvern: oh ok I don't care tho I just want to go on a mission I've been going Crazy on base dealing with recruits

Graves: alright

meeting Ghost and soap

Graves: Soap, Ghost this is my Lieutenant Wyvern

Wyvern smiling: Hi! Cool mask!

Ghost slightly shocked she didn't ask about it and why he wears it:

Ghost: thanks…?

Soap jokingly: hah looks like yer not the only Lt any more Ghost

Ghost: mhm

Wyvern: sooo Soap I heard your a demolitions expert correct?

Graves & Ghost: oh no...

[harveywritings92]

R/n: He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.

Soap: Are you screwing the LT or a condo building?

[super-marvel-dc]

Soldier 1, talking about Ghost: I heard he's horrible.

Soldier 2: Yeah, dude probably has an iceberg for a heart.

Soldier 1: Prob- wait, where's Y/N?

*Meanwhile, in the other room*

Y/N: Hold still!

Ghost: I had an itch!

Y/N, putting stickers on Ghosts mask: I don't care, you're going to mess me up.

Ghost: *Rolls his eyes but let's Y/N continue while he's smiling behind his mask.*

Y/N: *Puts a gold star on Ghost* there. Perfect, just like you.

Ghost, tearing up: Thank you.

[v1x3n]

[cod-dump]

Gaz: How high do you think that'll blow?

Price: We're not taking bets on this.

Ghost: One hundred metres at least. It's some of Johnny's best rigging to date, he'll want to show it off.

Price: ... I say fifty-two metres.

[metallictastinglifesupportliquid]

Y/N: Hi I'm your medic and I'll be drawing your blood today, as soon as I finish this capri sun Y/N: *misses the hole four times then finally punches the straw through the side* Ghost, sweating: PRICE

[call-of-duty-incorrect-quotes]

Rookie01: Lieutenant, is it true that this base is haunted?

Ghost: I don't think so. I've worked here for 187 years and I haven't seen anything.

Rookie01: ...

[princessdimondheart]

Y/N: Simon?

Ghost: Yes, love?

Y/N: Can you come here for a second?

Ghost: yeah *goes to where Y/N is standing*

Y/N: sit on the couch *nudges him*

Ghost: *sits, confused* what is it?

Y/N: *places hands behind his neck and pulls his head closer* just come here

Y/N: *proceeds to shove Simon’s face into her well endowed bosom.*

Ghost: ?? Ghost: *muffled* ummm, ‘hat’s the poin’ of thiss luv?

Y/N: ssssshhhhhhh

Ghost: hah?? *tries to pull away*

Y/N: *shoves his face deeper into her boobs*

Y/N: sssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhh

Ghost: ….. *mentally: okaayyy* *gives up and relaxes*

Ghost: *tightens his arms around Y/N* *cuddles his face further in her breasts*

Ghost: *slides his hands down* *squeezes her ass with both hands* mmmmhh

Masterlist

[tanked-up]

NOT GHOST SHUSHING SOAP-

Bickering like an old couple