#it’s just patrol

[asteroidtroglodyte]

[fanaticalthings]

I want an AU where after Jason gets brought back to life, he channels his inner rage and turmoil into the academics instead of murder

Talia has like infinite money and a crap ton of influence, so she can absolutely get Jason the best tutors and can easily get him into the most prestigious schools if Jason wanted to (she doesn't need to do that though because Jason's just smart enough to get into them on his own)

The major he chooses? Med.

Why? Because Bruce dropped out of med school.

Jason practically flies through all the secondary education that he needs to catch up on and is already en route to earning his bachelor's AND his master's.

And it'd be so incredibly funny if the way Bruce and Jason reunite in this AU was purely by coincidence.

Bruce (as Brucie Wayne) offers to show up as a guest lecturer at Hudson University (the school Dick attended but dropped out of so double points for Jason), maybe to talk about future career paths and job positions at WE idk

So as Bruce is just wandering around the campus, he randomly bumps into a student and immediately puts on the Brucie act and is all "Oh my, I'm SO sorry, I'm just a klutz haha" only to stop dead silent when he makes eye contact with a very alive, very grown Jason Todd, who also stops dead in his tracks, mouth agape, staring at Bruce like the world's about to end

And before Bruce can get his thoughts straight, Jason just bolts out of there like his life depends on it, and Bruce is just in shambles for the rest of the day.

It doesn't help that the person giving Bruce the tour is all like "Oh yeah, that's Jason, he's one of the heads on our student council haha, anyways, this way, Mr. Wayne." and Bruce is just stood there bluescreening.

----

Alternatively, it'd be kinda funny if this all happened AFTER the events of UTRH where after the final encounter with Bruce and Joker and the whole explosion, Jason's just like "yk what, maybe I'm just gonna turn over a new leaf and pursue a higher education"

So while Gotham's still reeling from the aftermath of Jason's near takeover as the top crime lord and Bruce is still painstakingly trying to figure out where his son went, the whole time Jason's just been chilling on a school campus and Bruce just so happens to bump into his son (who, last time they met, tried to kill Bruce and blew up the building they were all in) and Jason's just all normal-looking with his textbooks and nerdy glasses and Bruce doesn't know whether to scream or cry.

[birdiegray01]

Bruce gets Damian legos because he’s trying to connect with him and the two end up completely missing patrol because they were to busy building all of Gotham with the legos

[frownyalfred]

I 100% believe Lois Lane requested the presence of Bruce Wayne in her delivery room.

Nobody, not even the League, understood until it was time to give birth and Clark froze up at her bedside. Bruce was there to coach them both through it, as Clark’s friend and as Lois’ human reinforcements.

(Bruce flew to Metropolis in a helicopter when he got the news. He found Clark ashen and trembling at Lois’ side, eyes clenched shut as she screamed. He slid into place like he’d never been missing, talking Lois AND Clark through it like he delivered babies every day of the week)

[oncillabrigade]

Someday, Damian is going to outpace Tim height-wise. He'll be at least a couple inches taller, because Damian's parents are both tall(ish) while Tim has done everything in his power short of getting an Ed Elric-style arm to stunt his own growth.

Once that happens, Damian will uncover his greatest power of all, a power he had only dreamt of before now, a power possessed by Superboy himself. Because once Dami is even a centimeter over Tim's head, this will occur:

Tim: Nice try, [insert rogue name], but you've officially been busted by Red Robin and the boy wonder himself.

Damian: Why does your name come first?

Tim: I'm older.

Damian:

Damian: *opens mouth*

Damian: *draws the biggest breath of his life*

Damian: I'M TALLER!!!!!

Unfortunately for Damian, he is not Jon, and Tim is not ten, and therefore, Tim has a comeback.

Tim: Name a single culture where height is a basis for authority and we'll talk.

Damian is devastated. He lashes out. They have their biggest argument in years. It gets physical. It gets vicious.

And yes, the rogue does get away while they fight.

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 122

“Have you met Seal Hood?” 

Dick paused almost mid-jump, having apparently turned to the wrong channel but also changed to the perfect one too. At least, perfect in the fact that he had just overheard an interesting thing from Jason, apparently forgetting that his comm was in fact on still. 

Damian must have answered, because Jason snorted a laugh. “You can try getting him to leave, he’s taken over my bathtub and keeps eating all my food.” 

Hold up, was- Dick had thought Jason was talking about a plush or something, but was he talking about a literal living animal seal??

“I’ll have you know I’m not going to make a poor little baby seal leave, and I’m not putting him in a zoo, brat.” 

Oh Gotham, it was a real living animal seal. Dick about faced, rushing towards Jason’s safehouse. How did he get a seal? Why was it in his bathtub?? Why hadn’t he called the proper people for this sort of thing?! He had to get to the safehouse now to see this shit.

Baby Seal Danny <3

[oliviawebsite]

god idk why but i started reading thru some reddit thread where op was complaining about hearing their roommate having sex sometimes and theres comments being like "errrm thats LITERALLY sexual assault bc you didnt consent to hearing them" like can we be serious for a moment. do you not want your housmates to be able to have sex in their own home they pay rent for? are u living in a nunnery or somethin? humans fuck get over it!!! idk the tides of sexual reactionism im seeing are rly starting to bug me

[bruciemilf]

I wonder how many times Clark and the batkids + Alfred revived Bruce with the Lazarus Pit and just never told him abt it

[turtleblogatlast]

Mind melding is such a cool ability for all it’s used exactly Once.

Like do Raph and Leo ever talk about that. Do they ever think back like y’know that was kinda cool how the heck did we do that.

[introspectivememories]

street interviewer: what's your type?

tim who's just trying to get to work: i have a boyfriend

street interviewer: so what's your type then?

tim: my boyfriend

street interviewer: and what does he look like?

tim who will absolutely gatekeep bernard from the general public: he looks like my boyfriend

street interviewer: so what would you rate me out of 10?

tim: um i can't do that

street interviewer: can't rate me at all?

tim: i can't rate you at all

street interviewer finally realizing that this is going absolutely nowhere: what would you rate your boyfriend out of 10?

tim smiling stupidly: he broke my scale cause he's so beautiful

[hijinxinprogress]

YJ is not allowed on social media

Most capes have like an official hero social bc people just leave comments like ‘captain colds out again no class?? 👀’ instead of flagging down a hero or getting the police to get the nearest hero so most crimes are discovered through viral videos

And yj decides that they need to be on social media so they make ig and tiktok accounts which somehow led to them running a smear campaign against Lex while he was running for president

it’s mostly videos of Cassie in a superman onesie flying around pretending to save damsel in distress!Kon while Bart in an ill fitting bald cap is sitting behind a desk clearly made of cardboard as he mutters about how he’ll show everyone the truth and petting a picture of a cat with drawn on angry eyebrows then the video cuts to Bart way too close to the camera saying ‘A vote for Lex Luthor is a vote against happiness’ then the video ends with Cassie in the same superman onesie with a lightning bolt taped to the front of it claiming ‘this message was endorsed by captain marvel’ [a week later captain marvel makes a posts responding to the video in a captain marvel onesie reaffirming Cassie’s claim]

[zestys-stuff]

Decided to try a new style for this one piece featuring bare Ralak riding a skimwing on observation duty 👌🏻💦 I certainly had fun 😋✨

[faneth]

i want more protagonists who are built like antagonists

i mean scarred, scared and all sorts of fucked up, trying to find a place in this stupid world that hates them because im so sorry but i just cant find a fuck to give about guys like batman or superman who are cool and awesome and handsome but have oh so big of a responcibility on their shoulders

[danijaci]

TW: injuries, blood

"...seems like I overdid it tonight."

[fure-dcmk]

osaka police department's golden boy

[sirazaroff]

I’m so glad Vel’s with Nora. Poor baby going thru so much…I feel like the wisdom and company of a gentle bun will do her a lot of good in their Vacuo arc. It’s like how Weiss is so sensitive to people and gives amazing insights. Velvet is that too in her own unique ways.