#just daydreaming and romanticizing things again

[yaksha-lover]

I've been thinking about the twst guys + mainly wondering who'd be most likely to get baby fever,,,

Malleus is definitely high on the list imo, as is Kalim... I think also Deuce and Rook?

Leona might not. He's already tired of dealing with Che'ka, he's probably not interested in the idea of raising a kid himself lol.

This is aged-up/set in the future where all of them are at least mid to late twenties and thinking about having children!

Most to Least Likely to Get Baby Fever:

Most Likely

Kalim had so many younger siblings growing up that he loved. That, combined with his friendly and social nature, makes me think he would love to have kids and a lot of them too. He’d be so excited to have his own family so he’d definitely get baby fever once he had a partner.

Malleus doesn’t have a lot of experience with children, but I think having a family of his own is something he would like because of his desire for closeness and a sense of domesticity, especially once he has a partner that he loves. You can’t stop this man from sweet talking you into having the next royal heir (and many more, after that).

Rook, despite what his proclivities might suggest, is very loving and dedicated to his family. He’s surprisingly domestic with his ability to cook and clean, and he loves children. He’s the most likely to have baby fever and randomly come home one day with a bunch of orphans for you to adopt.

Lilia already has Silver, of course, and I think he’d be very nostalgic for Silver’s childhood when he was still just a young baby. I imagine he’d love to relive that eventually, especially if he has a partner by his side to help him give Silver some siblings.

Jack’s wolf beastman thing about having only one partner his entire life makes me think that he’s much more domestic than he lets on. He wants the whole mate for life and have a family fantasy, and he’d definitely start to feel the baby fever once he had a partner he’s settled down with.

Deuce also has a domestic fantasy of sorts, I think he’d want to have children, but he’d also be shy about it. When he sees you playing with the neighbourhood kids, he can’t help but think about having kids together. His mom also bugs him about grandkids, so he’s encouraged by that too.

Trey is absolute househusband material, so he definitely gets baby fever once he’s settled down. I think he’d love to have kids and is pretty confident he’d be a great father, so he doesn’t feel the need to repress his desire to have a family once him and his partner have settled into their lives.

Cater wants children, probably gets baby fever from all the family vlog content he sees. You really have to sit him down and ask him if he knows all the responsibility that no one talks about. He’ll need some time to learn, but once he does he’s game on again and wanting to be a dad.

Ruggie is ambivalent because while he’s used to taking care of the kids in his town (and it comes naturally to him), he knows how insanely expensive kids can be. Once he gets a good enough job to only have to work one, I think he wouldn’t want to go back to working multiple all to have a kid. Thus, has baby fever occasionally but the cold hands of capitalism drag him back to reality.

Vil is someone I think would like to have a couple kids someday, but he’s in no rush considering his career. As he gets older and starts to see everyone else his age have a family, he would start to romanticize it more and more in his mind until he’s coming to you and asking to have a baby with his blond hair and your beautiful eyes.

Silver is relatively levelheaded, so he may get mild baby fever once he has a partner that he’s settled down with, but it’s never a huge priority in his mind. May daydream about it occasionally, but it’s a ‘see as we go’ type thing, not a decided plan.

Sebek is pretty traditional because of his upbringing, thus he does want kids with his partner eventually. At the same time, Sebek and kids don’t exactly mesh. He’d be a lot more mature at this point which would help, but his interactions with children do lessen his baby fever occasionally.

Jade is pretty relaxed about it, while he might want to have children, it’s more planned than anything. He’s aware of the responsibilities and fine with them, he just wants to wait for the right time. Also, he doesn’t care too much for other people’s children, so it will be more the situation with his partner that makes him eager to have his own family.

Floyd does get struck with moments of baby fever, but his mood swings mean it’s often just a passing thought that will dispel as soon as he remembers that kids aren’t just fun and rainbows 24/7. He finds kids fun, but can’t handle the responsibility of a lifetime commitment. Every time he starts to hint that he might want kids with you again, you just have to show him a picture of a diaper and he’ll be like ‘oh wait nvm.’

Epel is kind of in between, he doesn’t hate children but he doesn’t particularly love them either. He would want a family eventually, but doesn’t get struck with the urge to have babies particularly often, only when he’s feeling nostalgic for his own family.

Riddle is pretty self-aware about his trauma, and it scares him away from having children. He does want his own child, but he’s too afraid to become his mother. If you reassure him enough, he’ll let the domestic fantasy overtake his fear, and start to get excited about having a child in the future.

Azul is too busy working to really think about having a family. He wouldn’t mind having one or two eventually, but he doesn’t really dream about having kids when you and his work keep him busy enough.

Ace doesn’t have the patience for kids or the desire to have them. He’s happy to be the fun uncle to his brother’s kids and give them back once they need actual parenting. He might want to have one kid eventually, but he’d much rather it just be him and his partner for now.

Idia knows he can barely take care of himself, how can anyone expect him to take care of a kid? He’s happy with his little family of you and Ortho, no baby fever for Idia.

Jamil’s already had a child to take care of his whole life (Kalim) so he’s disillusioned with the fantasy of domestic bliss and having kids since he knows all its pitfalls. He won’t be getting baby fever anytime soon.

Leona explicitly doesn’t like kids, so I think his placement here is pretty self-explanatory. He’s aware just how difficult it is to raise a child and he honestly has no interest in it for now. When he’s feeling a bit sappy, I think he might fantasize about having a family from time to time, but he knows he only would enjoy the ‘good’ parts and not any of the work, so he wouldn’t want to go through with it.

Least Likely

[nana-au]

𝐈 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐈𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐍'𝐓 𝐒𝐔𝐏𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄...

 𝜗𝜚 Satoru Gojo Prince AU ♡ part three

 𝜗𝜚 Summary: satoru doesn't understand why you aren't the one to wake him every morning. he becomes moody in your absence, haunted by a fear that isn't fully realized. satoru spends his days confused as he wanders the grounds in search of you. he has no idea what to expect when he finally gets you alone. story summary based off of this drabble

𝜗𝜚 Warnings: forbidden love, unspoken feelings, heavy angst, intense emotions, suggestive topics (mention of flashing & teen masturbation), meal skipping, satoru has a panic attack

 𝜗𝜚 wc: 3,486

𝜗𝜚 an: part three!! come get yall's food lol

┊p1┊p2┊p3┊𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠... p4┊

“Who do you want to marry when you grow up, Satoru?” you’re smiling at him when you ask, looking up from the dandelion that rested in your small grip; wispy white seeds blowing away with the wind. Satoru watches the fuzz carry on into the open field from where the two of you were sitting, his own wispy white strands tickling his neck from the random gust of wind causing a shudder to ripple through his small form. 

“Satoru, are you listening to me?” you giggle, covering your mouth as a blush creeps up his chubby face. 

“Of course I was,” he insists, cheeks getting brighter as you continue to giggle at him; you were used to Satoru getting distracted by the littlest of things. You pick up another dandelion, scooching closer to his face before giving it a hearty blow and Satoru frantically waves his hands in front of his face - trying desperately to vanish the fluff in front of him. “I was listening,” he states, exasperated. “You just didn’t give me time to think,” he pouts and your giggle fit kicks in again. “Stop it!” he begs, crossing his arms in a huff. 

“I’m sorry, Satoru,” you tell him, reeling in your humor and straightening out your face. “You don’t have a favorite Princess already in mind?” you ask, daydreaming about his romanticized future. You were always there while his parents talked about all the possibilities Satoru had to look forward to. Even in their young age many of the Princesses were ‘radiant beauties’ who would make ‘perfect wives for a lucky Prince’. You all but sighed imagining the lavish wedding full of blooming flowers and a flawlessly flowy veil. 

“No,” he scoffs at that idea, “Only girls care about that mushy stuff,” his fists dig into the dirt to distract himself from the blush that he couldn’t seem to shake off his cheeks. 

“Not even a little bit?” you ask him, hiding your knowing smile by biting your nails. 

“Only sometimes,” he concedes and you perk up a little; still cautious about riling him up again.

“What do you think about?” you subconsciously lean in closer, worried his words would get carried away with the wind. 

“That it won’t be fun….” he pauses, pulling strands of grass out from the ground while he readies himself, “Without you there.”

“Of course I’ll be there silly,” you’re quick to remind him. You wouldn’t miss his wedding for anything. Hell, practically the whole world would be watching and you’d be no different; cheering for the Prince as he found his Princess; securing their place as soon to be King and Queen of the kingdom. 

“Not in the way that I’d want,” he sighs, opening his fist and letting the pile of grass fall back down onto the ground. Your eyebrows furrow, unsure what to make of his statement. You notice how crestfallen he looks though, and you move onto the next thing to busy his thoughts with. It’s easy, it always has been easy to distract the Prince; but every so often you see his lips purse and eyebrows knit as if he’s remembering an unpleasant thought. 

𝜗𝜚

Satoru wakes up early the day after the ball; alerted to the strange man in his room opening his curtains at the first sign of dawn. “Who are you?” he asks, voice full of unease while he watches said man cross his room back to the door he arrived through. 

“Peter, your highness,” the man bows to him, “Breakfast is awaiting you in your private dining room,” he scurries off, leaving Satoru even more confused. Anxiety quickly starts to eat at the features on his face as he sits up, deep in thought. Where could you possibly be? He couldn’t remember you requesting time off…. perhaps you had fallen ill? His thoughts did a number on his heart, feeling his pulse quicken and his chest vibrate from the heavy thumps the organ was producing. He shakes his head, slowing his thoughts and thus his heart, focusing on getting dressed to make it to breakfast. He all but runs throughout the palace, bare feet pattering against the marble floors while he makes his way down the winding halls until he arrives at his destination; hastily pushing open the doors of his dining room. He sees Peter again, standing against the wall like all servants were trained to do before pulling out a chair for the Prince. Satoru’s vision blurs. You had never not let him know your schedule. If you weren’t going to be there for his day you always told him. Always. Usually weeks in advance too. His palms perspired and he rubbed them on the fabrics of his pants. “Please, eat well, Princ-” Peter talks and Satoru immediately cuts him off.

“Where is she? Is she okay?” Satoru tries to steady his tone but his voice shakes and Peter clears his throat before excusing himself, leaving his questions unanswered. He should know better than to get all worked up over something he has no information on yet, but he ignores his meal anyways and heads back to his room, his appetite suffering from the anxiety gnawing on his insides. 

𝜗𝜚

Peter had a hard time getting Satoru ready for the day, the stubborn Prince making it purposefully more difficult the longer he went without the information he seeked. The poor servant does his best - sticking out Satoru’s backhanded comments and incessant teeth sucking as he grew more and more frustrated with the man. He still goes to his classes for the day, not without waving his hand at Peter as he follows him around like a fruit fly to an orange; desperately trying to get the man off his back, 

“Fetch me my tea and biscuits early,” he snaps, frustrated even before putting brush to canvas as his art teacher squirms - not used to such a volatile attitude from the Prince aimed towards a servant. Peter jumps from his tone, rushing to please the fuming royal. When Peter comes back with the wrong biscuits Satoru is quick to insult him, calling him a ‘bumbling idiot who needs to put his head on straight so he can go and find you to smooth over his mistakes’. Peter perspires heavily, bowing repeatedly and apologizing before seeing himself off, desperately trying to think of which biscuits the Prince was referring to as the correct ones.  

During his dance lessons Satoru starts to grow dizzy - seeing Peter’s face every time he spun around in his direction did little to settle his stomach. He held no ill will towards the man - but the longer he went without seeing you the harder it was to quell his anger. The fact Peter seemed clueless to your whereabouts was doing him no help either. “I need a glass of water,” Satoru stops his teacher, removing his hand from her waist and making his way to the door. Peter calls after him when his body makes it past the threshold but Satoru doesn’t look back and Peter gives up the chase before it even starts. Exhausted from a day of following the grumpy Prince around. 

𝜗𝜚

Satoru doesn’t know what to expect when he enters the kitchens, but your sunken shoulders and red eyes was definitely not one of them. “Thank God,” he says, alerting the busy kitchen staff to his arrival. He strides across the room, making his way towards you with a look of relief on his face; knowing that you were still in the palace settled his nerves just a little. Your face looked anything but relieved - your figure tenses upon seeing the Prince and your throat tightens watching him make his way towards you. You’re frozen, unable to move when you feel a harsh pinch at your side. You turn to see your mother, eyes communicating clearly with yours; you needed to make yourself scarce. Your heart skips a beat and you hardly notice you’re holding your breath. Once the Prince was almost directly in front of you, you jumped to action, setting down your paring knife and hastily leaving through the back door of the kitchen.

Satoru doesn’t have any time to call out your name, his mouth opens in an attempt but the swinging door of the kitchen is already stilled by the time he processed what happened. His head tilts, not believing it. Your mother interrupts his thoughts with a polite bow, “Prince Gojo, how may we be of help?” Her smile is gentle but her eyes are wild while they search the Prince’s features - trying to read what his next actions might be. He studies her own features just as much as she does his - taking in her full cheeks and narrow eyes. You resemble your father more, but you have your mother’s nose and his heart constricts again at the realization you had walked away from him.

“Just a glass of water, ma’am, thank you,” he all but whispers.  

𝜗𝜚

“Stop talking about my wedding!” child Satoru stomps his foot at you. The two of you were in the middle of an intense game of checkers when you were feeling a bit giddy about the conversation that occurred during breakfast. 

The Queen had droned on and on about the beautiful Princess of a neighboring nation to the two of you. You ignored the food under your nose as the Queen described the unknown girl; curly blonde hair with beautiful bright blue eyes, with a passion for the piano. You sighed in awe, already fantasizing about the lucky Princess - pondering if she liked chasing frogs like Satoru and you did, or if she preferred the comfort of the indoors. Your elbows hit the table while you imagined the other little girl in your head and the Queen was quick to snap at you. “Manner’s child!” your girlish smile fell as your hands hit your lap, apologizing for disrespecting her.

As you were about to king yourself, you stopped, mentioning the Princess before the moment you stacked your piece onto the other, irritating the ever competitive Satoru. “Just king yourself already!” he groaned, wanting nothing to do with the conversation you were striking up. Surely you had to be doing it just to rub in your impending victory. 

“She would look so good in your family’s color,” you sighed, continuing the game while you fantasized yet again about the Prince’s perfect future. A girl with blue eyes and fair skin like Satoru surely would look amazing in the Gojo’s signature blue. 

“I don’t care!” he shouts, visibly irritated by the conversation’s topic. You shake your head, assuming he was just being a boy about it; refusing to entertain the idea of a wife and a whirlwind romance. You didn’t know and you wouldn’t ever know but Satoru didn’t like the idea of a picture perfect wedding and a throne to call his own because he just wanted to play with you forever. It was childish, sure, but he was a child when he first realized where his thoughts were on the matter. He hated the idea that you would eventually become like a picture on the wall, always there in the background but never to be seen or heard from. It wouldn’t be until he was a little older that he realized being married doesn’t sound all that bad if you really enjoy their company. If he could be himself and they could make him laugh. ‘That wouldn’t be too bad’, he told himself.

As you both grew together, his body went through awkward phases - causing strange urges he couldn’t seem to satiate for the longest time - always missing something he couldn’t quite place until the day he accidentally saw the supple skin hidden under your skirt. Things really started to heat up from there and he spent far too many days ‘sick’ in his bed with his fists under the covers. Of course you would be there afterwards with a cool towel to wipe the sticky sweat from his face after checking up on him. It was then he realized there must be more to a wife than simple friendship.

𝜗𝜚

Satoru’s days pass without much purpose, He essentially ignores Peter upon realizing the man was utterly useless, choosing to dictate his own day much to everyone’s dismay. He skips scheduled lessons, lets his food go cold during meal times, walks aimlessly around the gardens, and most of all checks in the kitchen for your face. He doesn’t see you any of the countless times he checks and he scoffs louder every time he peeks his head in just to see your figure missing among the sea of silver pots and pans.

Satoru ‘excuses’ himself from his untouched dinner on the last day of the week, heading to the stables and saddling up his own horse before taking off down the field and into the forest he took you through just two weeks before. Riding his horse had been the only solace for him while his thoughts seemed to eat him from the insides. The uneven earth beneath the two of them managing to ease the rising tide of his emotions for the time being. He spent a while out in the forests bordering the Gojo’s land, finding the winding path capable of maintaining his attention and giving him no time to ponder the reality he was facing back at the palace. He doesn’t want to head back but his bones start to ache and his mouth begins to parch so he makes his way to the stables, hopping off his stallion as he got closer to its open doors.

It’s there that he stops abruptly, seeing you for the second time that week. Satoru couldn’t recall a time he went that long without seeing your face. You hadn’t noticed him yet - too busy dragging a bale of hay twice your size into one of the many stalls the stable held. You were out of breath, covered in dust and sweat, your hair falling out of its ribbon that you used to keep it back and your face red from the constant strain of overworking your muscles. He decided to take a different approach from when he saw you in the kitchens, abandoning his horse to sneak up behind you, grabbing a strand of your ribbon and pulling it away, causing your hair to cascade down. You shoot up, turning around and seeing the Prince directly in front of you. The two of you were so close that your noses almost touched and you stood, frozen in fear yet again. Your heart beat rapidly; joining the chaotic rhythm Satoru sported the moment he finally saw you after all these days apart. “Let me help you,” he murmured, messily collecting your hair into a bundle at the back of your head, concentrating hard as he tied the ribbon tight into place. “There,” he purred, petting your head as he tried to smooth out any bumps and you felt your resolve just about shatter from the tender touches of his slender fingers against your skull. 

“Prince Gojo,” you almost dry heave when you finally speak, “That was inappropriate,” you speak so softly, not believing in the words that come out of your mouth. His eye twitches at your words, taken aback from the title you used with him. The two of you were alone and yet you saw it fit to call him that? The title he begged to be removed from your vocabulary even against his parent’s demands. The one you never used in an empty room such as this. 

“Why haven’t you been waking me each morning?” he asks, dumbfounded even by his own words. He wanted to ask what was with the disgusting title. He wanted to ask why you practically ran when he saw you in the kitchens. He wanted to ask why his best friend all but vanished from his life only to be inhabiting the halls he walked for hours, searching for you. You don’t meet his frantic eyes when you mumble something about taking on new responsibilities and he doesn’t mean to but he shouts, “Why would you do that?!” He isn’t sure he can swallow down the crashing waves of acid threatening to spill from his pretty pink lips due to the way you were staring down at your shoes instead of into his pleading eyes. Betrayal is hot on his mind and accusations sit heavy on his tongue when you don’t respond but he collects what little control he has left; unwilling to accept you could be so indifferent to him. “What could possibly cause you to act like this?!” his voice is shaky and his eyes turn glossy waiting for your response. 

You want nothing more than to cling to his body, to feel the protection of a man with choices in his life but you can’t cling to him and none of his choices are his to make. His whole life had been paved for him the moment his head crowned and the Gojo’s welcomed their baby boy into the world. You reflect on the Queen’s warnings and focus on the truth of the matter. Satoru had no say in his life; bound by rules and customs created long before his tentative eyes could take in the size of his fortress. One day he would be required to marry - against his wishes if it came down to it because as the only heir he had no choice. You weren’t just saving your parents from a life on the streets or yourself from being forever shunned as the girl who dared tried to dirty the Prince - you were saving Satoru from the heartache of watching that happen to you. The words you were about to say needed to be said. No matter how loud your pulse was in your ears threatening to make you go deaf. “I grew uncomfortable with our closeness,” his eyes almost bulge out of their sockets, immediately scoffing but you continue on, “It’s inappropriate and wrong and it is dirtying your image.”

He is completely aware of how loud he becomes this time, “I don’t care about my image!” His legs feel like jello from how terrified your words make him. You almost lose all your logic upon seeing his tall body collapse in on itself, his shoulders slumping and knees buckling as his world turns upside down. He looks like a frightened child and you want nothing more than to embrace him and tell him you didn’t mean any of it. But you have to. For you. For your family. For Satoru. You have to mean your next words. 

“I care, Satoru. I care that people think you might like me-”

“And what if I do?” His face is unusually red when he says this. You realized later after he walked away that this was his way of finally speaking the unspeakable out loud. The thing the both of you knew yet neither of you mentioned. The tension that turned the air thick and made it hard to breathe without him. He had revealed his heart that beat solely for you. 

“I don’t feel the same,” his world collapses at your words but he doesn’t show it. His face finally steels and his jaw sets. He says nothing. He gives you nothing. Choosing to walk away and get back on his horse rather than get on his knees and beg you to admit that you don’t mean the words you say. 

𝜗𝜚

His ride through the forest follows the same path; his horse jumping over the same thick roots in the ground and weaving through the tall trees that hid the estate from wandering eyes. Instead of the usual peaceful breeze of every ride he’s had before, the wind seems to knock the air from his lungs instead of filling them; causing him to cough and splutter as he desperately tries to fill his failing organs. His body racks with sobs and his tears hit the white mane of his favored horse. He doesn’t bother to wipe the snot from his nose when he can hardly keep himself steady; refusing to stop in fear he may lay down onto the earth and never arise again. 

Against his better judgment, Satoru’s body is found lying on the dank forest floor at around half past midnight. The servants sent out to find the Prince are in awe at the pitiful scene in front of them: laid flat on his back, staring up at the starry sky between tree branches, face swollen from hours of crying, and body shivering from the unforgiving temperatures of the night. They scoop him up without a fight and carry him back. He doesn’t bother to explain himself to the servants.

No one comes to visit him once he’s finally tucked into bed. 

┊p1┊p2┊p3┊𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠... p4┊

taglist: @bubera974 𐙚 @dahliawarner 𐙚 @phoenixisdabest 𐙚 @designerpvssy 𐙚 @leaderwon 𐙚 @elilovesall 𐙚 @alicebleu 𐙚 @sleepykittycx 𐙚 @abcdbleh 𐙚 @waka-babe 𐙚 @fanficsforkicks 𐙚 @boothillglazer 𐙚

(ty for all the support! comment to be added/removed)

[neptunes-sol-angel]

Pick the picture(s) that you're drawn to the most, then scroll down for its corresponding message for insight on what's next for you in love.

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Pile One ♡

I strongly feel that most people in this pile would be considered as someone who is inexperienced in love, maybe you guys are bookworms, maladaptive daydreamers, and writers yourselves when it comes to visualizing your future, different settings for how the world could be, and breathing life into the people that you haven’t gotten the chance or time to get to know yet. What’s next for you in love, is practice. You’re upgrading from being Bambi by becoming the Great Prince of the Forest by taking risks before you are able to know and find what is right for you. Some of you may believe in holding yourself tightly before you meet “the one” but the message is that you are being unfair to yourself by putting your life on hold to revolve it around someone who is also learning too, but isn’t waiting like you are doing. This doesn’t mean to be reckless or to feel coerced into going along with people you don’t have a good feeling about just for the sake of finally being in a relationship. This stage is about exploration and enjoying yourself before you meet your life partner. If you resonate with being a bookworm, you could be the type to read romantic fictional stories on a platform like wattpad, and while it serves its purpose which is to make you feel good, it could create an irregular perception of love for you, like subconsciously romanticizing traits that are toxic or wouldn’t be something that you would actually like if you were to actually experience it. For some, it could be re-evaluating your attraction to individuals, like when you crush on someone, you could find that they really look good, but do you yearn for more from them? Your path in love could be redirecting you to pay attention to how a person makes you feel than what you get from them on a surface level of interaction.

Pile Two ♡

There was someone in your life that you once felt like you couldn’t live without or took something from you that seemed irretrievable, but you’re being blessed in a way that’s shutting all of those lies down. You’re getting you back, in whichever way that it applies. This could be your motivation to take care of yourself, to do things that made you feel happy and at peace before this dwindle ending happened, like going to the gym, arts & craft, writing, solo trips or going out with friends, and even something simple as such as looking good for yourself, but it’s not limited to what was mentioned. This could even look like getting closer to who your deity or deities and spiritual maintenance. The best way that I can describe this, is that this phase in love is like this big circle of energy, stuff that was taken or borrowed from you, that’s being marinated before it is returned because it isn’t just aspects from the past, it’s also the time for creation. This whole entire time, your rain of tears that were collected from this heartbreak were observed yet not ignored, but transmuted into this empire that you’re building off of the corpses of failures that you’ve experienced with not just people but life circumstances, maybe when that break up happened it just seemed that more tragedies kept following you after that and it drove you into insanity like when does this pain ever end? Although you can’t forget about it, you’re learning how to soften from these things that stung you in the past, so that you can keep moving and consolidate your wishes. For some, this is personal, and an era that you’d like to be selfish with in order to see what else you can create, like developing a strong daily routine, starting that business, or maybe even working on yourself so that you can heal others, while the other side of this collective will open their hearts again to a new love which can be romance, friendship, or even adoption that is just as equally healing.

Pile Three ♡

The next thing in love for you is learning how to stop trying to win. I’m picking up multiple scenarios for this but the premise is that people in this pile are in love situations where there is no winner, and if there is, let the other person be the one to have it so that you can walk away and stop blocking yourself from better to come in. Some of you are in a long battle with a person by competing with them on who has the upperhand in the situationship, this involves the runner and chaser dynamic constantly reversing and both of you keeping tabs on each other when you’re supposed to be in no contact. The second scenario is sticking beside someone who has a wandering eye but trying relentlessly to get this person to choose you the way that you choose them. The third scenario is in general, trying to prove yourself in order to gain love from others by manipulating yourself and even them to win their affection. There is this storm brewing, you can even call this a tower moment, that could happen to finally get you to see the many ways that you are downplaying yourself with people who have stayed in your space and energy for far too long. You’re going to surrender from these situations to know what it means to pick yourself up and see how beautiful and worthy you are to the extent where you’ll be baffled by how much you’ve been settling for people who don’t deserve you. This phase will come with new connections, but what makes it different is realizing your authority in this by realizing how possible and freeing it is to choose people that choose you. Once you realize that you’re the prize in this game, let the winner take pride in being the fumbler, and be proud of yourself for not being the one to fumble you.

[milliesfishes]

Hi Millie 😊 Hope you're doing okay 😊

I'm sure you have lots of things to write so it's okay if you're not interested in this, but if you want to I would love to read your thoughts on timetraveler!reader and Billy?

Like, she's from our era but accidentally travels to the past. I think he would be so amazed and amused by her at the same time, observing her behaviour and realising she's so different but in a fascinating way... idk I would love to read your thoughts on it or whatever you decide to write related to this idea, but only if you want to 😊❤

⋆౨ৎ𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮-𝓽𝓻𝓪𝓿𝓮𝓵 𝓪𝓬𝓬𝓲𝓭𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓪𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓸 𝓫𝓲𝓵𝓵𝔂'𝓼 𝓮𝓻𝓪⋆౨ৎ 𝓯𝓮𝓶 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻 𝔁 𝓫𝓲𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓴𝓲𝓭

It had been a day as ordinary as any other.

You were relaxing in the clean expanse of a field near where you lived, soaking up the sunshine beaming down upon the earth that created shadows you laid just at the edges of. The day was new, and you were determined to get some Vitamin D in before the air became sticky with heat.

Lying flat against the cool grass with your eyes closed, feeling yourself warm as the rays kissed your skin. It was simple pleasures like these that propelled you through the week's mundane tasks. You were a daydreamer by nature, and sometimes you thought that if you weren't, the banalities of life would have turned your spirit grey by now.

Endless fantasies filled your head now as you basked in the fingers of sunlight, their romantic nature making you glad you were secret. It was a shameful thing to you- the things you wanted in terms of love. In this day and age, women were supposed to secretly want things, supposed to meet men who teased the notion out of them and thrust them into a supernova storybook love. It confused you to your core, and so you avoided it outright.

Romanticism was your friend in everyday life. You had no one person to give love to, and so you found it everywhere you went, from the way you dressed to the books you read. And lying stretched out in a meadow a ten-minute walk from home, kissed by wildflowers, you felt the earth was loving you in return.

You'd discarded your top, bra the only thing covering your upper half. The little shorts you wore were cotton and clean, comfortable for a day of leisure. Here you were safe from the prying eyes of single-minded men, free from the demands of being a young person in this world. This is where you were at your happiest.

The heat slunk over you like an embrace, and you felt the siren song of sleep overcome you. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to slip into such a vulnerable state when you were alone like this, but it had been such a long week, and you were wholly exhausted.

Humming to yourself, you folded your arms under your head. Though the threat of a sunburn loomed, you didn't move, feeling the shade of a nearby tree begin to cover your legs like a blanket. As the sun continued its charted course, you'd be fully covered by the shadow when you woke up. Your shirt, a cute white thing with tiny bows at the base of lace edged thin straps, was bunched between your fingers, nearly a comfort object as the callings of sleep drifted over you.

There was a rustling nearby. Your eyes flew open, head turning frantically as you searched for the source. This area was secluded, you were sure of it. After all, this wasn't the first time you'd come out here to relax, at one with nature.

The crackly noise stopped for a moment, but before you could breathe a sigh of relief, it started up again, and then the head of a horse appeared from the bushes. Perplexed, you tilted your head, eyes going full as the moon when the rest of the creature appeared, a man sitting atop it.

You were stunned by the sight of him. Though a hat was perched on his head jauntily, his dark hair peeked out of it, curling at his neck. His clothes were awfully strange, a long-sleeved blue shirt with suspenders pulled up over his shoulders. When you saw the belt around his waist, gun sheathed in it, you froze, heart pounding in your ears.

Mind scurrying like a squirrel, your eyes darted from side to side, trying to grasp for a way to get out of here. The stranger's intentions were unknown, and it frightened you. Did he come up here to kidnap defenseless young women who sunbathed all by themselves? You never brought your phone up here since there was no service anyways, and right now you cursed the habit. At least if you ran down the hill you'd have hope of calling for help.

In your muddled tangle of worries, you hadn't noticed the man ride closer, and your body gave an involuntary jolt when he called out to you. "You alright miss?"

You were hardly able to tear your eyes away from him as he came closer. Now you could see him more clearly, see how handsome he was. Brows dark, drawn up in what appeared to be concern, hat shading his eyes, but you could see clearly the piercing blue of them. They seemed to reach inside your soul and grasp something in them, wholly disarming you before you remembered your fear. Lots of serial killers are good-looking.

He crouched before you, eyes roving over your figure and seeming to catch at your midsection, before they hastily skirted to the side. You were suddenly aware of your state of undress, hands holding your top flying to your chest and covering it. "I'm alright."

"Are...are ya sure?" Now he was looking into your eyes, and right then you had the oddest feeling that he wasn't going to hurt you. Softening before you could question it, you nodded.

"I come out here all the time...really, I'm okay," you assured him, offering a little smile. It was a challenge to tear your eyes away from his face, and you found you didn't want to. There was something magnetic about this man that filled something in you like a missing puzzle piece, now slid into its place.

"Where's your horse? I can escortcha back to town if you want," the man offered, his wrist adjusting where he was bent on one knee. "Ain't safe for a woman to be out here by her lonesome."

Your brow furrowed at the comment. He was talking like everybody had a horse. "I walked here."

Now it was his turn to frown. "Must've been quite a journey. Nearest town ain't for miles."

"No, I live-" you cut yourself off. Something wasn't right. Looking at the man, the way he dressed and spoke, then to his horse, equipped with a saddle and bags, and then to the gun at his hip, carried so casually, something seemed to dawn on you, the sun rising on a new mindset. It was impossible. Truly impossible. But the thought probed the corner of your mind, imagination run wild.

Taking in a shaky breath, you stared at him, the inconceivable notion invading your mind like an army. He was your only lifeline now if it was true. Seeming to notice the change, the man's lips parted. "You okay? Looks like you saw a ghost."

"What year is it?" The words burst forth from your lips like water from a crack in a dam, panic washing over you for an entirely different reason.

"Eighteen seventy-eight."

Your heart stopped, frozen as ice as the information hit you. A look of horror crossed your face before you could stop it, and you nearly dropped your shirt as your body grew taut with worry. It was pointless to wonder how this had happened- your mind couldn't even comprehend the science behind it.

But what were you going to do now? You had no money, no family, no friends. For the first time in your life you were truly, utterly helpless and there was nothing to do about it.

A warm hand found a place on your shoulder, and you looked back up at him, feeling tears sting the corners of your eyes. He wouldn't believe you if you told him. Nobody from your time would believe you if you told them.

Your distress must have been palpable, because the man's lips pulled down, a troubled spark in his eye. Oh how kind his eyes were. It was a look you weren't at all used to seeing in men. His roughened thumb smoothed over your skin. "You were robbed, weren'tcha? Took your horse 'n everything?"

Lips parting slightly, you saw a lifeline. Here he had provided you with an out. Slowly nodding, you whispered, "Yes." The lie was bitter on your tongue, but you didn't have a choice. If you spoke of unwilling time-travel who knew what he'd do? Would he leave you here, sure too much sun had inspired your ravings? Or drop you off at the nearest asylum? You didn't want either to happen, and he was the only soul around here for miles, likely, and a kind one at that. "I don't have anything."

"Lemme help you out." He stood, offering you a hand. "I can take you into town, we'll getcha situated...it'll be okay. You got any family round these parts?"

"Not anymore." At least that wasn't a lie.

"Hm." His lips bunched to the side as he thought. "Well...that's alright. We'll figure somethin' out. You're gonna be okay."

He re-extended his hand, and you hesitantly put yours in his, getting to your feet. Remembering your state of dress, you quickly turned to the side, pulling your top over your head and pushing your hair backwards. It wasn't much in the way of dress, especially for this time, you gathered. But it was something.

His eyes seemed to linger on you, but it wasn't in a way that had you shrinking back. You took his outstretched hand again, the warmth of his palm a comforting thing as he led you over to his horse. Shyly, you looked up at your rescuer. "What's your name?"

"William H. Bonney, ma'am." He stopped briefly, tipping his hat at you in a way that spread a smile across your cheeks. "Billy."

"Billy." You tried it out and found it suited him.

He almost seemed amused. "What's yours?" When you told him, he nodded. "Pretty."

A tiny blush colored your cheeks, and you looked at your feet. The sandals you wore probably weren't great for horseback riding, but they were better than going barefoot. At the saddle, he held out a hand to help you up, but you were already hoisting a foot over, swinging the opposite leg to sit on the other side. A surprised smile crossed him, and he quickly did the same. Now your back was snug against his broad chest, and you bit your cheek at the feeling.

"Hope you don't mind we're ridin' like this," he commented, grasping the reins in front of you with one hand, securing the other around your waist. "It'll be faster 'n walkin'. Figured you've been out here long enough."

"It's okay," you managed, ignoring the flutter in your heart at the placement of his hand. It was obvious he was trying to be a gentleman, but still trying to keep you steady on the horse, which you found gentlemanly in its own way.

You had no sense of how long the ride was because of how lost you were in Billy's touch. He grasped your waist, careful not to touch any of your skin that was uncovered. You were fascinated by all that surrounded you, by the same world you resided in, ripened by another time. It was more lush, fuller. This was the way you'd seen the world in your head before, now come to life.

Once you got to town, your fascination doubled. All the women were in long dresses, the men in similar dress to Billy, though his remained slightly different. You were suddenly self-conscious of your clothes. They were certainly attracting strange looks, and you slid your arms around yourself.

Noticing this, Billy patted your side. "I'll find ya somethin', don't worry. If they knew what you'd been through they'd understand." That caused another twinge of guilt deep in your being, but you shook it off. This is necessary to survive.

He helped you off the horse, carefully setting you on the ground. You closed in on yourself, eyes roving over the space, avoiding the gazes of passerby. It was funny. A while ago in your time you wouldn't have a problem being out and about in your current clothing. But the stipulations of the time had worn in on you within only minutes.

There was a shuffling behind you, and then Billy was pressing fabric into your hands, putting a careful hand on your shoulder. "Wear this for now. It's okay." His words comforted you, and when you looked up, there wasn't even a trace of judgement in his oceanic eyes. Your shoulders relaxed, and you realized he'd given you a man's shirt. One of his. It was more touching now than anything anybody had done for you. You certainly weren't used to men doing such things.

Sliding the fabric over your shoulders, you pushed your arms through the sleeves, feeling better about your coverage now. The shirt fell to your upper thighs, still not covering enough, but it was better than before by far.

He guided you into the shop with an arm around your shoulders, helping you through the doors. Calling out to the shopkeeper, Billy greeted her with a smile. "We need a dress. Hers has...gotten lost."

Eyeing you, the shopkeeper nodded, beckoning with a hand. "We have a few options already made here."

You flushed a little at the way she looked at you, aware that your appearance must be rather odd. Making sure to smile plentifully and be enthusiastic about her assistance, you selected a blue dress, wanting to make the process as quick as possible. She ushered you to the back to change into it, giving you proper undergarments and shoes as well. Kindly, she laced up the back of your half-stay and left, gifting you some privacy.

The buttons on the dress were thankfully situated in the front, and you were able to do them up in a timely manner, slipping your new shoes on as well. You were unsure to do with your old things and Billy's shirt, as you didn't know when or if at all you would be returning to your time.

The shopkeeper solved that when she gave you a canvas bag for your things, a brief smile crossing her face. You returned it, happy she'd warmed up.

Billy was waiting at the front, hands folded behind his back, eyes trained on the ground. When he heard your footsteps his head lifted, an expression of pleasant surprise crossing his face as he took you in. You demurely smoothed your skirts, tucking hair behind your ear. "Does it look alright?"

"Yeah," he breathed, a slow smile entering the planes of his face. Something in his eyes lightened, and he held out a hand for you. "You're...it's pretty."

Truly, you hadn't been one to blush so easily before meeting Billy, but now you seemed to redden with every look he gave you. It was a new thing, though not entirely unwelcome.

As he led you out of the store, your arm hand nestled in his arm, you felt brand new. Leaning up, you kissed Billy's cheek, the scratch of his stubble a pleasant sensation. "Thank you for the dress. That was lovely of you to do."

"'s no problem," he grinned, looking down at you. "A lady needs a dress, hm?"

"Oh!" you smiled brightly, leaning on him. Already you were growing comfortable. There was just such an easy way about Billy that made you feel safe. This was strange for you in a way. Never before had you met a man who'd given you such a sense.

Everything outside was bustling, a low hum of chatter filling the air like music. You found yourself turning your head excitedly, entranced by the life of it all.

When you turned your head to Billy, you discovered an expression of endearment on his face, as he watched you watch everything. It hadn't even been a day since you'd met him, and already there was something there. A connection, a hint of a feeling. It was brand new as you explored the old world.

Arm in arm with your guide, you felt your heart come alive for the first time in ages. Everything was bright and new and you could feel yourself stitching into the lines of it all like embroidery. Maybe you weren't a mismatched piece here.

Maybe with Billy you could fit perfectly.

[loveydovey-leviathan]

reposted from my personal blog @mee-op

hopeless romantic riddle!

x gn!reader

riddle who's always thought about romance when he was a child. wondered if it really was like in the books— would he fall in love at first sight? would the light hit them just right, forming a halo around their head as though they were an angel. would there be metaphorical roses gently floating down from the sky— the moment soft and perfect. would he look into another person's eyes and think they were the one.

or would it be slow and gradual. would he slowly start to realize how his heart quickens when their hands touch. would he make excuses such as study sessions and hangouts to be with them. would he watch them from afar and try to convince himself that they were only friends, only to recognize his denial was futile.

and would there be mutual pining? would they fall for him as he did, or would he have to try and capture their heart and prove his worth to them as a partner, as a lover?

but he didn't have time to daydream and romanticize his life now. his mother had found out what he was reading during the few breaks he had and insisted that romance was useless. he only needed to focus on his studies and follow the rules.

....

it's been a while since his overblot. still a stickler for rules but he's learned to be more lenient— accepting. towards others and himself.

trey had convinced him to pick up romance books again. 'you loved these types of stories didn't you? used to talk about them when we were kids.'

and so he began reading them again. every night before bed while sipping tea, he would read love books he checked out from the school's library.

he almost forgot how much he loved them, how much he fantasized. how he daydreamed and wondered when he would find his one and only.

they were all so comforting and beautiful to him. someone who can accept you for who you are, someone who didn't mind his flaws and when he made a mistake. someone he could talk to— someone he could lean on. and someone who would do the same to him.

the late-night talks, the early morning tea, baking together, learning things about each other.

he wonders once again when he'll find his one and only.

....

it was slow and gradual, just like in the books.

the flutter of his heart when your eyes' meet. the red on his face when your hands' touch. the excuses, the study sessions. it was all there.

and so was the denial.

but the moment that removed every defense he had was when he woke up and found you in heartslabyul's kitchen. frying what seemed like sunny side up eggs and toast with an apron that said 'kiss the cook!'. tea was on the counter, hot and steaming.

when he asked why you were up so early, your answer was simple.

'i wanted to eat breakfast with you.'

....

it isn't easy to unlearn everything that was taught to you as a child. that the only thing that mattered was following the rules.

but it's been a while since his overblot, and he's becoming lenient. to others and himself.

and you've successfully cemented a plate right in the center of his fragile little heart. he isn't as reluctant as he should be when he realizes he doesn't mind.

[growwithmeastrology]

Thursday, July 11th 2024

Sun in Cancer ♋️🌊 Moon in Virgo ♍️🌎 and Libra ♎️💨

We have a lot of big transits today. Love is in the air with almost every transit today. Are you feeling it?

Moon trine Mars

Moon in Virgo trine Mars in Taurus is the perfect time to act on your instincts and explore desires of the heart, creativity and even take some financial risks as it activates attraction, passion and desire. If you want it, go and get it. Especially in relationships. Let your intuition guide you towards your heart's desires with this new found courage.

Venus trine Neptune

With Venus in Cancer trine Neptune (r) in Pisces we get more opportunities for romance as we fantasize and daydream of our ideal partner or just simply romanticizing our ideal life. This is another great aspect for creative pursuits. Encounters during this time take on a dreamy or surreal quality. Just be careful not to overly do it. Discernment is key at this time. Neptune tends to bring on the rose colored glasses. Combined with the God of love and fertility, everything looks wonderful. Watch out for illusions. When this trine is over, reality steps in and knocks you off that cloud.

Venus enters Leo

Venus is busy today and is about to bring in the glam. Tonight she moves into the sign of Leo for the next few weeks, giving everything a glow up. Romance isn't just in the air, it's taking center stage. Spending habits tend to get extravagant, creativity gets an even bigger boost and confidence shatters the glass ceiling. It's a great time for outings, road trips or just feeling like a kid again with those you love! Expect showers of affection and even old flames trying to creep back in so don't forget to check your heart. Leo might rule the jungle, but even lions need a little tender loving care. Romance and passion don't always equal love.

Moon enters Libra

The Libra Moon is all about finding purpose in creating harmony, whether in personal relationships, through artistic expression, or by contributing to peace and fairness in groups or community. We seek balance, beauty and justice with our emotions under Libra's influence. Relationship to others it's important as we realize how others see us, or wise up to a trait that impacts others. It's a time for love, friends, and also for intense encounters.

Moon trine Uranus

With the Libra Moon trine Uranus in Taurus, you may feel a twitch or a feeling of anticipation that something is about to happen. Libra and Taurus are both ruled by Venus. With all this Venusian influence, big things are just around the corner. This transit brings change and excitement to your private

life without causing upset and chaos. Trust your intuition, and don't be afraid to act impulsively.

Mars conjunct Uranus

We have a lot of big energies stirring in the background that could completely change the landscape of our lives. One of the biggest ones rolling in is the Mars and Uranus conjunction in Taurus going exact on Monday but it's worth noting now. We haven't felt this energy in two years. Did you do something then that turned everything on its head? Well, it's happening again. Expect big changes in yourself, your life or on the world's stage as this one tends to bring in big changes or

unpredictable events.

Please like, comment, share and consider a gratitude tip in support. 🅿️ PayPal, Venmo or CashApp - @NaliniFlor

Learn more about your personal energies and how the forecast affects you! Comment below or DM me for a consultation.

[dent-de-leon]

Thinking again about...how Lucien was always so insecure about his blood hunter scars, how he tried to hide them when he saw his sister again for the first time in years. Ashamed of the things he'd done just to survive, to earn enough coin just to have a chance at a future with his family again. The scars are a constant reminder of everything he's sacrificed, the pain he puts himself in again and again, desperate to prove himself "worthy."

For as much love as Lucien still holds for Aldreda, his very presence on her doorstep is perceived as a threat to the tenuous peace and life of comforts she's fought so hard for. "Who knows what kind of danger you've brought to our doorstep just by coming!" Aldreda's own brother is utterly unrecognizable to her, another awful reminder of the tragic past they shared--one she's desperate to forget.

"It's too late, Lucien. It's too late. Maybe years ago, I don't know...I can't think properly. Just looking at you stirs up such evil feelings in me. It isn't fair, I know, but it's true. I look at you and I smell smoke, I hear distant screams, I see again our brother's face leering, bloated with unnatural life."

Lucien is the last remnant of their life in Shadycreek, a bad memory she wants to burn away. He joined the Claret Orders as a means to provide for himself and his sister, to get by. He even romanticized the Orders at first, fancying the life of a heroic monster slayer--finally having the power to kill the hag that preyed on their family, that nearly carved him out into a hollow puppet. It's tragic, because everything he's ever done as the Nonagon, it was all out of desperate hope to one day bring his family back.

And even before that he was spiraling, digging himself deeper into his own grave, pushing away everyone he ever loved because it was the only way he knew to keep them safe.

Lucien's blood hunter past also made him painfully aware of the fact that people will always see him as an outsider--the Claret Orders carry a threat of danger, violence, fear--every horrible thing Lucien ever tried to escape. When he's so taken by the Solstryce Academy, lost in daydreams--"It was a sight to take even the most jaded boy's breath away"--his fantasy of studying magic is utterly shattered by the pain of his scars. For him, magic is only ever pain, it's all it's been all his life. And there's no escaping it.

Most heartbreaking of all, when Lucien finally has just a moment to reach out to his infant niece--so gentle with her, so very careful and full of so much love for this child he's only just met--all it takes is one look at his scars, and Aldreda tears away from him. "I don't even know you." For all he's sacrificed, Lucien is cast out by his own family. All that's left is the pain he carries.

And for as cavalier as Molly is, despite how quick he is to brush off the nein’s questions and curiosity with a joke, it’s clear he’s just as unsettled by his own power. When he accidentally activates his Rite of the Dawn for the first time in Alfield, Taliesin describes him as sitting along with a drink and, “having a mild nervous breakdown” afterwards.

And the very first time Molly ever used a blood hunter ability? He was so scared, so terrified of letting anyone else find out. The one person he confides in is Lestera, and it’s only with her reassurance and gentle coaxing that he is willing to open up to Gustav.

Just thinking about…Molly looking so anxious and scared, how even trusting Gustav with this is nerve-wracking for him. How Molly said part of the appeal of a traveling circus was staying on the move, avoiding scrutiny. “A lot of this was in the hopes that maybe it would never happen—keep moving, keep quiet.” Spinning story after story and lie after lie to bury any trace of Lucien.

Molly activating his blood powers for the first time and mourning the charmed little happy circus life he has—living in fear of that haunting past he’s so desperate to escape. “Maybe it’s from…before? I haven’t noticed it until now. I don’t…I don’t want it to complicate things.”

And just…little moments when the Nein see through Molly’s carefree facade and try to chip away at the cracks. Caleb asking if Molly has been with the circus all his life, casually acknowledging that he knows it’s all a lie—“You have a lot of scars.” Caleb, who always hides his own scars and never stops running from the past. Caleb who takes one look at Molly and can tell at a glance that they’re more like than they seem, that Molly is also someone who knows pain and loss and regret so deeply. He can tell right away what Molly is, that they’re one and the same—shattered souls aching for a new start.

Thinking of how Lucien stood on Aldreda’s doorstop with his heart in his hand, begging her to give him a second chance. How she cuts him off and shuts him out of her life forever, looks him in the eye and tells him he’s too much of a danger.

How Molly is forced to tell the Nein everything, wholeheartedly believing they’ll abandon him as well. But even when everything is dragged out in the open, the Nein don’t abandon him. And Caleb, as much as he struggles with trust, with breaking down walls and letting anyone else in—he offers Molly the very salvation and hope for a second chance that Caleb himself has always longed for.

“I am a little concerned about, you know, loose ends…However—I believe in second starts, and that’s enough for me. I am satisfied, Mollymauk Tealeaf.”

“This is not how I expected this to go…Thank you—”

[9800sblog]

Hi Jes! I've just been catching up on your blog and really enjoy it. Not sure if this is something you'd be willing to do but if so could we get a reading on what Lewis Hamilton is like as a boyfriend/in a relationship? thank you <3 <3

lewis hamilton tarot reading

as a boyfriend

do I have his energy permission to do and share this reading? 10 of cups, 6 of wands

5 of pentacles - "us against the world" vibes, no matter what's happening, as long as you're together he is ok and he'll make sure his person is happy too. he makes time for his partner no matter how busy his life is, he'd rater miss out on important events and opportunities than miss out on quality time with his partner. can make anything/anywhere feel special. may not show off his partners, may prefer to keep it more low-key - prefers romantic getaways than a date in a famous restaurant, for example.

6 of cups - he's like a kid and he makes them feel young too, specially by being very silly and jokey. gifts is an obvious love language of most wealthy men, but he gives little thoughtful ones, like the person's favorite flowers or something they loved as a kid, an experience, something they mentioned once and forgot about. would plant an entire garden if they said they liked flowers. would give up on his job and run away to the mountains if the person asked. exchange of funny anecdotes and childhood stories, may imitate romances, definitely corny and nerdy.

4 of pentacles reversed - "what's mine is yours" "my world is your world and your world is my world". again, would give up EVERYTHING if the person asked, doesn't care about spending if it's with the right person. may not be very into physical touch or uses material things to suppress the lack of his physical presence since he's a busy man. may have difficulty putting a ring on it tho, although he definitely dates with that in mind.

king of cups reversed - specially clingy and emotional with his person, may cry a lot and be very very corny, always asking for reassurance. feels very intensely, wants to be their husband the second they get together, definitely daydreams about them often and gets distracted at work by it. a very ken type of guy, only has a good day if barbie is in it. struggles to show his emotions because they are very deep, may act cold and shallow if they're not close enough yet. tests the waters a lot, very hesitant.

ace of cups - wants to marry immediately, wants to make them feel like they've never felt before. thinks everything is a new beginning, romanticizes a lot, may wear rose colored glasses. very sexually inclined, very intense and emotional sex. looks for a soulmate type of feeling, someone to bring him a new sense of life and purpose. he may hold back a lot and then act impulsively.

[macaroon-sapling]

Headcanons - Glitchtrap ✷

What a silly rabbit! Have some thoughts on William Afton's latest and certainly not greatest form of supposedly "living forever".

☆☆☆

❋ Glitchtrap is first and foremost, a ghost. He may be taking the form of an annoying little computer virus, but this is still William Afton in the non-flesh. He has the ability to jump between electrical currents with relative ease, giving him access to all sorts of screens and wires. His favourite digital spots to hang out are various security cameras in the Pizzaplex, and most of all, Vanessa's home PC.

❋ As a ghost, Glitchtrap's anatomy is very unique. He could technically take the form of whatever he wants to look like, but of course he chose what appears to be a very personalized version of Springbonnie. He has fabric for skin with a hand-stitched kitschy appearance, complete with plasticky eyes, nose, teeth, and whiskers. The polyester faux fur fabric conceals cotton-white plush innards. Glitchtrap still has organs of course too, but they're suspended in cotton and poly-fil rather than the good old blood and tissue.

❋ By the time that Glitchtrap exists, he is a shell of a man. A pathetic excuse of a representation of William Afton. In fact, he barely truly remembers who he used to be. Strongly affected by a form of post-traumatic amnesia, he only remembers selective details about his life. He remembers the most about his kids, his goals and aspirations, his talents, and particularly his past business partner, Henry. His warped memory only kept things that were deemed "important", naturally. He fantasizes about Henry frequently still, daydreaming about a romanticized version of his past with him, even remembering some events that didn't actually happen. Subconsciously, part of him believes they'll be reunited again somehow someway. Ignorance of reality is to blame for that belief.

❋ This form of existence has, for lack of any better words, royally fucked up his sense of personality as well. Most of the time he acts like a bastardized version of his past stage personality of Springbonnie. This manifests as him being overly childish, stubborn, careless, apathetic, selfish, manic, and reactive. Glitchtrap prefers not to think about such things, and acts without thinking most of the time. He is very much aware of who he is, William Afton, but in the way that he might do a double-take if addressed by that name for the first time in a while. He is still just as murderous, dramatic, and cunning as he once was as well, encouraging Vanessa to carry out his vague "legacy" for him since he is largely unable to do so as a ghostly computer virus. He does have the ability to possess her as well, but is simply too lazy and prefers to watch her willfully do his bidding.

❋ Glitchtrap struggles with his sense of identity. This has carried over from his time spent as Springtrap, and his dissociation of self has only gotten worse. The contrast between Glitchtrap and William is vast and unnerving. He believes himself to be better than he's ever been, and worse at the same time. If he were to look in the mirror and see his past human face, he would not fully recognize it as himself any longer.

❋ In one way, Glitchtrap could look in a mirror and see himself. His real self. Due to some innate retained sense of humanity, his virus form's head can be ripped off and removed to reveal a shadowy and glitchy form. Underneath the rabbit's face, lies the broken visage of a human. Behind glossy purple eyes, there will forever be silver-blue ones. No facial features can be visibly discerned besides those haunting, iconic eyes now surrounded in black or white shadow. Perhaps it is better for this silhouetted version of the self to be hidden, since seeing its existence greatly distresses Glitchtrap. He pretends it doesn't exist, but why would it exist if he didn't secretly wish for it to still be there? He controls his own ghost's appearance, after all. Part of him craves humanity.

❋ And through all of this dissociation and amnesia, there are infrequent short periods of lucidity. A precious few hours when this miserable ghost is more William than Glitchtrap. It's horrifying. Distressing. Agonizing. He doesn't know where he is. He screams for help, no one answers. Vanessa is no help to him, he refuses to speak to her when he's like this. She keeps her distance. William despises who he's become, filled with self pity. He cries and thinks to himself that it isn't fair that he should have to live like this. Oh, but isn't it fair? Isn't it justified? Shouldn't a murderer such as himself have to live in the very same life that he condemned others to? A ghost in a machine. Trapped. It's rather fitting, I think. Glitchtrap is indifferent, he quite likes his life in a poor woman's desktop computer. William disagrees.

[illbestarryeyedforyou]

The thing about this depression is that it feels as if I'm mourning. And in a way I am.

Mourning who I was, who I am. Mourning past friendships and the ones I've recently lost and will lose eventually. Mourning this feeling of not having an appetite, not wanting to care about myself at all.

I'm so overemotional today. Everything is making me cry. I hate what is staring back at me every time I look at the mirror. I hurt thinking about my life and how lonely and isolated I've become. Properly responding to family members and friends messages today feels difficult.

I'm hurting because there's something inside me again saying "fuck you, I don't want to be you anymore. I want out."

It's exactly how I struggled from 2016-2019. Everything was a blur, I didn't know anything about life. I still don't in a way. I couldn't depend on anyone and went walking everywhere; from walking to college in the cold, rainy days to walking to the church in the high 90s one hour before it started because that's exactly how long it took me to get there. My grades and attendance slowly started failing. I always romanticized leaving or disappearing. I once daydream or even planned of going to national park and burying a gun so I could go back to it just in case. That's how not here I was. Of course nothing happened.

And now I'm here. I've grown so much from where I was struggling with my MDD. I'll always be sad here and there. I'm okay with that. But I won't allow myself to go back to being that person that would idolize depression, disappearing, and sadness. That's not healthy. That's not me.

And even though I feel alone, I have to be okay with that for now. It won't always be like this.

I have to give myself a reason to keep going. To keep looking up.

[anticanonsposts]

Disclaimers!!!

Hi

The stuff on this blog is mostly cute shit and sometimes angst. I do not write dark nsfw content. I follow some of the canon for COD characters, but not most of it. I am in the König is nervous and uwu fanclub, if you don’t like it, don’t interact.

Posts labeled nsfw mdni!

I am also in no way trying to romanticize or glamorize the United States Army Industrial Complex: it is harmful and these types of games are straight propaganda. 

Also in my daydreaming mind König is like 26 y/o and now out of the armed forces, working blue collar jobs while living with his partner. Again I do not follow canon, if I am ruining these characters for you, please just don’t interact/block <3

Other things I often include in my writing:

König prefers plus sized ppl hehe

When he leaves the military he is a bit on the chubby side/still toned but with a good layer of chub protection.

He has a bit of body dysmorphia about his height

Yes he has social anxiety, that mainly manifests in dislike for crowds and just being kind of awkward around people he doesn't know.

[chocoqtelle]

Mental health check

Pile one

Pile two

Pile three

Pile one

Your mental health rn is kinda 🤕

something bad happened regarding your love life and it really damaged you. first off, this isn't your fault ofc. you couldn't control the other person so take the blame off yourself for at least two seconds damn 🙄 and you have to realize that it won't be like this forever. it will get better but you need to put work in as well. you seem to fantasize and avoid real life instead of acknowledging your issues. you have to realize that it's a problem before you solve it. even after you realize, it won't just go away. you have to take care of it yourself. it's not easy but you can do this. expect change regarding how you view yourself and your mental health. Channeling "help urself" by ezekiel with the line saying "stay in, don't help yourself" but not as advice and more as in how you feel you should behave.

you got this 😡 keep going and stop romanticizing your depression. take your meds.

Pile two

you feel abandoned. you have this idea that you have to be perfect from your childhood which most likely consisted of heavy pleasure trauma and emotional abuse. also possible sexual abuse. since you spent your entire life worrying about others and taking care of everybody but yourself, you find yourself being used for emotional support or giving more than receiving in relationships (especially friendships) but can't find a way to pull yourself away from them. you might be/ have been a gifted kid or had high standards placed on you at a young age so now you have goals and standards that you spend more time thinking about than reaching for. you might also possibly daydream about romance a lot 💀 you still don't actually go for it though. you don't have to worry about other people. you need to focus on yourself and put in the effort to reach what you really want and not do what you think others would like for you. channeling "are you satisfied" by Marina.

it's about you, not them.

Pile three

things are finally getting better for you but you don't know what to do about it 😭 you feel like you don't deserve it and that it doesn't make sense. you think it will get worse again and you're trying to imagine it will more than you're enjoying things. you feel inspired and creative lately. this is you sign to tap into that. you usually struggle with emotions but things are becoming more peaceful now. you need to take the leap is what im hearing so if you wanna try something new then go ahead. im also hearing listen to new music? stop trying to do the same thing but expecting a different outcome. things are getting better and you deserve it to get better. there's a lot of positive karmic changes. make sure to rest as well 😞 you don't have to be on your toes all the time. just relax. you're also very stubborn but you still have to let your "weak" side out too. channeling "brand new city" by mitski (specifically "if I gave up on being pretty I wouldn't know how to be alive") .

relax and enjoy the present, not everything ends tragically.

[mee-op]

hopeless romantic riddle!

x gn!reader

riddle who's always thought about romance when he was a child. wondered if it really was like in the books— would he fall in love at first sight? would the light hit them just right, forming a halo around their head as though they were an angel. would there be metaphorical roses gently floating down from the sky— the moment soft and perfect. would he look into another person's eyes and think they were the one.

or would it be slow and gradual. would he slowly start to realize how his heart quickens when their hands touch. would he make excuses such as study sessions and hangouts to be with them. would he watch them from afar and try to convince himself that they were only friends, only to recognize his denial was futile.

and would there be mutual pining? would they fall for him as he did, or would he have to try and capture their heart and prove his worth to them as a partner, as a lover?

but he didn't have time to daydream and romanticize his life now. his mother had found out what he was reading during the few breaks he had and insisted that romance was useless. he only needed to focus on his studies and follow the rules.

....

it's been a while since his overblot. still a stickler for rules but he's learned to be more lenient— accepting. towards others and himself.

trey had convinced him to pick up romance books again. 'you loved these types of stories didn't you? used to talk about them when we were kids.'

and so he began reading them again. every night before bed while sipping tea, he would read love books he checked out from the school's library.

he almost forgot how much he loved them, how much he fantasized. how he daydreamed and wondered when he would find his one and only.

they were all so comforting and beautiful to him. someone who can accept you for who you are, someone who didn't mind his flaws and when he made a mistake. someone he could talk to— someone he could lean on. and someone who would do the same to him.

the late-night talks, the early morning tea, baking together, learning things about each other.

he wonders once again when he'll find his one and only.

....

it was slow and gradual, just like in the books.

the flutter of his heart when your eyes' meet. the red on his face when your hands' touch. the excuses, the study sessions. it was all there.

and so was the denial.

but the moment that removed every defense he had was when he woke up and found you in heartslabyul's kitchen. frying what seemed like sunny side up eggs and toast with an apron that said 'kiss the cook!'. tea was on the counter, hot and steaming.

when he asked why you were up so early, your answer was simple.

'i wanted to eat breakfast with you.'

....

it isn't easy to unlearn everything that was taught to you as a child. that the only thing that mattered was following the rules.

but it's been a while since his overblot, and he's becoming lenient. to others and himself.

and you've successfully cemented a plate right in the center of his fragile little heart. he isn't as reluctant as he should be when he realizes he doesn't mind.

[freckledjoes]

Sorry to chime in the Stancy discussion (you don't have to answer this if you don't want to)

A huge problem I have with the portrayal of them in s4 is that there was no proper discussion of what went down in s2. We see Steve still blaming only himself for the breakup. He doesn't know about Jonathan and how Nancy would have chosen him in s1 if Jonathan hadn't pulled away. To me, Nancy thought she could love Steve. She was attracted to him before Barb and Steve, and after everything, he wanted to make it up to her, so she took him back in desperation to not be alone. After a year and the anniversary effect, she couldn't keep pretending anymore. I do think she cared about him and thought she could love him, but her trauma made it almost impossible. So they broke up in a messy way where it's still murky if Nancy actually cheated on him when she slept with Jonathan. Steve doesn't know any of that, he only views him as a bad boyfriend because he wasn't emotionally equipped enough to deal with Nancy's trauma, and Nancy never gave him closure or assured him this was as much of her fault than it was his. So Steve had 2 years to process this false narrative. He worked on himself trying to be better. And while thinking about his relationship with Nancy, he put her on a pedestal. Because in his mind she is perfect, he doesn't know the real her. His daydreams about a family with her are not grounded in reality because he thinks of Nancy in a romanticized way. It makes sense that he's hung up because he never got closure.

As for Nancy, she never had to deal with the negative consequences from s2. Nobody was mad at her. She never faced the problems, so when the opportunity to emotionally cheat again came up, she took it. She hasn't learned from her mistakes in s2. She almost doesn't change in the show because the narrative always gives her an out by portraying her as right. She hasn't really dealt with Barb, and she hasn't dealt with her relationship with Steve. In s5, she must face all of those problems in order to be a better partner so she can communicate better. She has to have the talk with Steve so he can have the full picture and then decide if he wants to be with her or not. But idk if that's possible bc again, the show just keeps giving Nancy an out. Rn she could just be with Steve without any work because he is available for her, and I'm scared the show will just do that. In reality, she has to be single and face her problems.

As for Steve, he's single for almost 2 years, he's working on himself, he knows what he wants in a partner (and projected it on Nancy to create the perfect version of her on his mind). He's gonna be ready for a relationship as soon as he gets the closure from Nancy. He's a lover he deserves love and a partner who 100% loves him back.

When reading your thoughts process I can tell that I’ve never looked so deep into their relationship hahah, but your thoughts are definitely intriguing!

Her always having a way out is interesting, I never looked at it that way. I can see Steve having an unrealistic image of Nancy by now and that Nancy also needs more time to deal with her own things. As for your last sentence: agreed. I wrote something similar a few asks ago. I don’t have much to add other than this currently as I’ve shared most of my thoughts already but thank you for sharing your view! :)

[monstersinthecosmos]

mother wounds & maker wounds !

So I’ve talked before about generational trauma with vampires and the nature vs nurture aspect of how some of it is behavior, but how maybe the Blood can create an epigenetic thing too that’s just gonna be baked in forever.

BUT LATELY I’ve been daydreaming a lot about the concept of The Mother Wound and how it applies to vampires!!!! And like when you read about Mother Wounds it’s described as generational trauma and it gets brought up a lot that it can be part of family cycles, ie: I raised my child this way because my mom raised me this way, ad infinitum. So I’m interested in looking at like, how the behavior of makers influences their fledglings and what types of assumptions we can make about what it does to you.

And I think if you take any vampire from the books you can kinda ask how it applies, how was their turning traumatic, how did the combination of their deadbeat maker + inherent personality influence their lives and their OWN fledglings. Like, Lestat and Armand for example have extremely different personalities and handled Maker Trauma differently. Lestat continues to breed because he is so desperate for love and afraid of losing people, vs Armand is convinced he’ll be a terrible maker and that it isn’t worth it to hurt your child, so he doesn’t bother. (Except that one time where it became a self-fulfilling prophecy bc he didn’t know how to deal with it after.) Armand is completely cynical about the entire concept that you could have a healthy relationship with your maker because he’s seen it fall apart at every level, from down in the dregs of existence in the cult beneath the cemetery, the meaningless decadent vampires of the Théâtre who barely understand immortality, and all way the up to the absolute ideal of civility and domestic mainstreaming that he got to experience with Marius.

I just find it wild how like, within VC where we are working with Big Brained Vampire Feelings and relationships that exist outside social constructs because of it, which makes the lines between parent/maker/lover very blurry. The love the vampires have for each other is so all encompassing and bigger than human labels & social roles (ie YOU ARE MY EVERYTHING), and yet as a maker you still have a responsibility to usher your fledgling into immortality in a way that doesn’t COMPLETELY TRAUMATIZE THEM and so few of them actually know how to do it.

There’s something hopeful about human relationships in the way we (at least my aro-ace ND ass does, don’t @ me) see the permanence of relationships and the way we measure the hierarchy of loss. Like the way we respect the pain of a romantic breakup and don’t talk about the pain of a friend breakup. It kind of tells us that friendships or romantic relationships can be fleeting, but family bonds are supposed to be permanent. It’s the same way people leaving abusive families or refusing to respect older relatives are shamed for harming the sacred family unit. So it makes me wonder like, when you think of a Maker/Fledgling relationship, especially in a universe where they might live forever, where do we put the permanence of this relationship and how to we romanticize its longevity? The solution in the later books of turning fledglings as a favor to each other seems to be a huge progression for them and a way to avoid some of this. It puts more boundaries between Maker and Lover, where the Maker is providing your life and immortality and doesn’t need to be there for the rest of it.

And especially because of the barrier, it’s like, you CANT be here for the rest of it. You lose the ability to ever truly know each other again. You have to actually develop your verbal communication for this to work and so many of these characters are too fucked up and not ready to do that hhaha. I think there’s a lot of substance in here about like, relating to parents as adults and how that relationship shifts when you grow up. Something similar happens when  you turn someone, maybe, like you’ve given them life and now you don’t know each other anymore. And yet something very antithetical to being a mother when you’ve taken their life in the same moment. HMM.

I just really like the way the universe presents these relationships and how complicated they are. Or maybe they’re decidedly uncomplicated because everyone is just “everything” to you. Your maker is your parent and your lover and your companion, they are your everything. It’s only complicated when you try think about it like a human.

Still, anyway, for funsies. Thinking a lot about Maker Wounds today and how it affected Armand, and how it affected his future relationships and sense of self worth. 😊

 I was reading this article on PsychologyToday.com about mother wounds if you wanna read it and learn more about what they are and what they do to you and how you fix them haha. BUT FOR FUNSIES, WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU CTRL+F AND REPLACE TO VAMPIRE WORDS?? 

 The best way to think of the maker wound is a loss or a lack of makering. This is typically a deficit in the maker-fledgling relationship that is passed down through generations, and it is a reflection on how we have experienced parenting and how we parent. While not a specific diagnosis, it is a way of looking at how current codependency behaviors may be linked to missing elements in the past.

(Lol MAKERING good word)

So anyway I’m thinking about this concept a lot regarding Armand and I’m sure you could really take any set in the series and look for some of these patterns. But my main thing about Armand that I think harmed him the most was that

- Marius was very rigid with the person he expected Armand to be 

- Marius never rescued him.

When you look back at some of the times Marius was especially cruel to him (I always think about when he hits Armand for crying about his dad or whatever lol) and like all of Marius’s bullshit about I WANT YOU TO CHALLENGE ME … but wait not like that ! it’s like, was Armand just floundering with the cult and wondering what he did wrong?  (See also: Armand’s defectiveness schema haha)

It’s a loss he can experience twice—on one hand, if he didn’t think Marius survived the fire, there’s no reason to think that he would worry about this aside from dealing with the grief of losing his maker. But if he believed Marius was strong enough to make it, or if he had any indication that Marius survived, that gives him a few hundred years to feel bad about himself and wonder if he’s not worth saving. Then of course, when he learns that Marius is alive (from Lestat’s book?) he can go through it again. 

Like there’s always going to be two sides to a reunion like that. Half might be: I’m so happy that you’re alive, and the other half is: Wait you were alive that whole time and never came to get me wtf

I feel like Armand’s early life and even his centuries in the cult are so rich with trauma and grief, though. He loses and loses and loses. He was devout as a human, ready to dedicate himself to living in caves, and it makes me wonder if the cult felt right to him, like he got there anyway. Maybe he looked at his time with Marius as a brief period of sin. It’s no wonder that he doesn’t know how to fuckin behave haha. 

But you look back at what happened with Marius and it makes sense that some of his wounds and insecurities show up the way they do. 

 These types of feelings reduce self-esteem, feelings of self-worth, and feelings of worthiness to have a positive relationship. Individuals with a maker wound always feel incomplete and lacking in their ability to connect with others, while also having deeply rooted feelings about the need for perfection and control.

It feels kinda similar to the way Louis is like GUY WHO IS TURNED WHILE SUICIDAL, like they all have something that kinda sticks with them, I think. Like something about their mortal lives that gets written into their personality. Armand was not rescued! 

Here’s some other fun stuff from the article:

Signs of the Maker Wound

·  Never feeling they had their maker's approval or acceptance

·  Concerns about not being loved by their maker or not being loved as much as other siblings or family members

·  Difficulties in relating to the maker on an emotional level

·  Uncertainty about the relationship with the maker and if it could be lost with a mistake or an accident

·  Always trying to do better or to be perfect, to attempt to gain your maker's attention and acceptance

·  Feelings of having to protect, care for, or shelter your maker rather than them protecting, caring for and sheltering you

It’s funny like most of what we know about Armand’s relationships and how he behaves in them is from everyone’s POV except his own. So it’s almost like unfair to try to figure out how he is, how he feels, what last effect abandonment has on him when we’re not hearing it FROM HIM. But it’s like oscillates between being a needy baby or being a weird monster. I’m thinking of like, the “Love me” and pathetic way he threw himself at Lestat & Gabrielle, also the way he takes charge as a cult leader, also the way he introduced himself to Daniel. I just think there’s such a deep need for acceptance, but when that fails or when he’s too afraid to be vulnerable he’s gotta just be rigidly in control to cope with it. 

Anyway I don’t have a graceful offramp here, I just wanted to yell about this a little LOL. Also I wanna share one more bit from the article because it feels really potent to me:

These are makers who may provide for the physical needs of the fledglings, and even interact with the fledglings in a positive way, but simply do not provide the deep love and attention that all fledglings require. They may not have been abusive or neglectful, and they may never have engaged in negativity in their relationships with the fledglings, but they were also always distant and less tuned-into the emotional needs of their fledglings.

This one sums them up the most to me, I think. Like the way Marius provided for him even when it’s maybe not exactly what he needed. Giving him every material luxury he could need but slapping him because he’s sad. It’s such an enormous pressure to live up to. 

Rewinding back it’s so interesting because when you look at it as a family pattern like, Marius was abandoned by his maker too, even if it was a different circumstance. Marius would have also had to go through that loss more than once; if he ever imagined Teskhamen survived and couldn’t find him, or if he ever wondered why Teskhamen didn’t come to him sooner. Especially a vampire like Marius who was so known in the vampire world, and someone like Teskhamen who had connections to the Talamasca. But there’s sort of a thing here of like, my maker didn’t teach me how to vampire, I had to figure it out myself. But then he fucks up with Armand so bad that Armand falls into the “my dad sucks so I wouldn’t be a good dad” space. 

It kills me that we don’t know more about what happened with Daniel, when they drifted apart, how he wound up with Marius, etc. I tend to wonder if Armand fulfilled his own destiny by convincing himself he’d be a bad maker to the point where he barely tried. 

And where does that leave Daniel with all of this? Idk.

The thing ultimately that makes these stories so fantastical is that they have all the time in the world to heal, to grow, to get past grudges. This is what the article lists as solutions on how to heal this wound:

·  Exploring the feelings of the inner child and allowing those feelings of being ignored, unloved, unwanted, or not valued to be expressed in a safe, therapeutic environment.

·  Learning to validate and love ourselves creates a positive emotional and mental picture of our lives as they are in the present time, letting go of the past concept of self-developed by our interactions with our maker.

·  Setting boundaries—creating a relationship with the maker that is based on your needs and the ability of the maker to change and contribute to your emotional needs in a healthy, positive, and fulfilling way.

I wonder if Daniel has a hand in that, in bringing the two of them together. 

Personally I’ve always felt like, I don’t “””ship””” Armand & Marius because I think they’re awful for each other lol but there’s just so much unhealed baggage here. But, like I was saying, vampire relationships are so different from the real world. I would love if they could simply coexist, be there for each other as needed, love each other safely. I’ve talked enough so I don’t want to get distracted with like all the work they’d have to do to fix it and how they’d have to build a new version of their relationship that exists in the present but it’s nice to see that there’s a way through and I hope Daniel can help them.

I WONDER WHAT DANIEL’S FLEDGLINGS WILL BE LIKE — !!  🥸

[chilopodacrudus]

Who do you Want to Be? Chapter 9: Good Dogs

CW: Graphic depictions of violence; cannibalism, cults, (extremely NON romanticized) physical and verbal abuse, major character death, death, blood and torture.

Piers; Casey, Allison and Doc were all allowed to have a soft moment, a kind moment. Laying out on the grass in the field and wrestling around. For a time; they all felt companionship, they felt laughter, they felt dull dread pushed down. Piers mind went blank as well; he liked this feeling, he liked this new family...family. His mind reeled as he found him and his companions sprawled out on the grass resting at dusk. Where had the time gone. Doc was asleep curled up against Casey who was holding onto him drifting off as well. Allison had her eyes on Piers; reading him, or attempting to. Hands clasped along her chest fiddling with a wildflower she had plucked. Then their world shattered and fell back into place.

Johnny: He made himself known abruptly rousing Piers from his daydreams and making him sit up straight. “Piers.” He conveniently ignored the rest of them; Johnny speaking soft enough as to not rouse Doc from his sleep but he stepped forward a little too close for Piers comfort.

Piers: He held a hand up telling him to stop but also spoke softly. “Careful.” Piers stood up slowly gripping Doc’s lead tightly just in case.

Johnny: “Heh...don’t worry about it; I’ve got an idea that you might like and since...it’s nighttime...Piers you must be tired.” He lifted his head back gripping his fingers along Piers shoulder and whispered into his ear. “Was thinking...since you enjoyed Allison so much...you might want to double date with me.” Johnny knew how Piers would react; he was just waiting for him to fall into his trap.

Piers: He snarled at him and suddenly gripped Johnny’s neck. “You touch her; the muzzle is coming off.” He tensed his hands on Doc’s leash a wild look in his eye.

Johnny: He laughed and patted Piers’ hand around his throat. “You’re gonna make a man jealous with how much you fancy her; she’s MY girl Piers...I just let you borrow her. So…” He ticked his eyes down to Allison; who is now sitting upright and stiff praying Piers doesn’t get himself in trouble for both their sake. “What are you going to do in return.” He seized Piers’ hand and pulled it from his throat giving him a warning tug along Piers’ shirt still hiding an untreated deep wound.

Piers: He sneered at him looking to the side. He looked over at Allison; he looked at Casey then back to Johnny. He was speechless for once in his life.

Johnny: “No ideas? Well...I have one for you. I’m jealous of your ‘pet’ there Piers; I’ve always wanted one. Though the type of pets I like have even more bite then your damned pooch down there. You Piers; I want you to be my pet and what does that entail?…” He took the hook of his cane and slipped it against Piers’ collarbone. “Total obedience. No questions. You listen to me? You be a ‘Good Dog’?…” He looked eerily to Allison. “I don’t touch that bitch ever again. I might even let her be part of your..enrichment Piers...if you act extra Sweet.” Piers: He was in shock his eyes snapped open wide; embarrassment, hatred, a broken ego. He didn’t take orders; he hated not being in charge but Allison...he had a feeling that Johnny had gotten tired of her. He noticed the lack of attention he paid her and with this particular situation that was not a good thing at all. Boredom meant death; though he knew that all too well himself. A sickness churned in his stomach. Johnny knew about his latch; he felt the man’s fingers picking at it as he looked in his eyes. He had no choice. Allison: “Piers don’t do it.” She spoke sternly and shook her head. “I’m used to this don’t do it; don’t do this to yourself. Please.” She begged but spoke too loudly rousing Doc from his sleep.

Doc: He was in bliss; for awhile, new people, new yard, new rich tastes of treats and belly rubs. But as he came to; he smelled Him. His eyes snapped open and he was upon Johnny in an instant; Piers couldn’t hold him down, the muzzle the only saving grace for Johnny but his claws did a number too. Shred; shred him, you can’t taste his flesh but you can claw and stamp down stamp this Bad Person down into the dirt where he belongs.

Johnny: Johnny yelled with his eyes wide he had never been witness to so much fury. Taking his cane he snatched around Doc’s collar and sharply jerked him off to the side as Doc yelped from the choking feeling in his neck as Piers was finally able to act and calm him. “What did I say Piers...the damn thing loses it’s head if you don’t MAKE IT BEHAVE.” But his anger didn’t last long; he again, was very excited today. He dusted himself off while laughing; shrugging at Piers backing up then pointed at Allison. “Gonna need that decision from you either way; you can tell I’m being EXTRA lenient right now so...before I change my mind…”

Allison: A firm voice escaped her. “Don’t” Piers: “Fine. You have a deal.” Allison: Her heart sank; this stupid man. ‘You don’t care about me Piers you don’t care about me so why would you do this. Why would you sign your life away to the devil for me. This doesn’t make sense’ Her mind scrambled for an answer. Casey: Casey could only sit in horror and watch he could never speak up on a good day and this isn’t even one of those, so he kept his silence.

Piers: “Don’t worry Allison. I’ll be okay.” He flashed her a smile and looked back at Johnny. He knew he had no choice in this; he wasn’t even sure why Allison argued. It was either he give in and let her die or give in and let Johnny dangle her over his head as a treat now and then but at least she’d be alive. At least she’d be safe. “I have one more request however if you will.” Johnny: His eyes wide in pure frantic joy he nodded and held his hand out. “Good choice; now what else would you ask of me? Hope it’s nothing too spicy…” Piers: He looked towards Casey ticking his head to him to have him get closer; he handed Doc’s leash to him making Casey stare at Piers like a mouse ‘what was he thinking’. “Doc very well hates you; I’m sure you’ve noticed, I want Casey to take care of him. I’ll do Casey’s job from now on too; whatever that might mean...and in return...full loyalty.” Casey: “Piers…” He spoke louder than usual then went to calm Doc; holding his arms around him and looking to the side. Why the hell was Piers doing this; he didn’t deserve this.

Johnny: A whistle on his lips he laughed in utter amusement. “Oh PIERS you’re a fun one; I like you, yea yea sure.” He rubbed his chin and looked up as if putting a plan into place then looked back into Piers’; very displeased face. “I can do that...big plans Piers...like I told you...I had a place for you from the get go but yea yea you can follow up on Casey’s job...in fact...why don’t the two of you team up. Bring the pooch with you too. I’ll fill you in on the ‘whatever that might mean’ later but I think a man like you will really enjoy it. Yea...this will work out just fine. Ha ha ha.” He pointed at Piers and ticked his fingers at him. “Follow me Piers; come here boy, I’ve got something I’ve been wanting to give a Good Dog like you.”

Piers: Piers expression was dark; if anyone else saw it they would run but Johnny is not a normal man. He had played into Johnny’s plan perfectly and he knew it. He had no idea what awaited him but a ‘Good Dog’ he was not; he was more of the rabid type and he swore to himself that Johnny would find that out soon enough.