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gators-aid · 8 months

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decode (pt. 2) - toji f. x reader

previously titled: leave us

masterlist.

part one. | part three.

you and toji fushiguro have been in an on-again-off-again relationship all throughout high school. over the summer break after graduation, you find out you're pregnant. too bad toji has already skipped town after your last breakup.

tags: fem!reader, gun violence, harassment, physical violence, mention of domestic abuse (not between toji & reader), teen pregnancy (reader and toji are both 18-19 range), mentions of abortion, mentioned that toji sold drugs, americanized setting, non sorcerer universe, 00's setting, reader is megumi's mom, toji initially denies megumi is his, i aged up gojo, geto, and shoko so you can have some frens, exes to lovers (eventually), their relationship is toxic rn, not beta read we die like toji :(

wc: 2.7k

4 years later..

You pull Megumi’s hat over his ears to protect them from the cold and squeeze his body closer in your arms. “My mom can’t watch him today, she’s got a doctor's appointment. Shoko and Geto are working right now, too! I promise he won’t cause any trouble. He can sit in a booth while I’m working. Pleeeease, Nanami! You know he’s a good kid!” You beg your boss. He looks down at you and your son, contemplating which rules this would violate.

It’s Gojo who comes to your defense.

“Come on Nanamiiii, I can help her keep an eye on him! You won’t have any problems, my Megumi is the sweetest little thing, aren’t you baby? Aren’t you?” He leans over to squeeze Megumi’s cheek until Megumi turns his head into your chest to escape Gojo’s teasing.

Gojo had taken up working at the diner with you after he dropped out of college on account of, “My family has enough money for me to never have to work again. Why would I waste it in college when I can spend my youth working a minimum wage job for fun?”

You and Shoko had punched him in the face for that one.

“Any disruptions to the customers and you’ll have to figure something else out, Y/N. This is a one time thing. Gojo, don’t let the kid be a distraction to you. You need to stop forgetting you have tables all the time.” You smile and give Gojo a victory high five. “Are you excited to spend the day with mama, Megumi?”

Megumi had turned four a couple of weeks ago. You two now lived in your own modest apartment. It was close to your mother’s house and your job. Usually your mother would keep Megumi for you during work hours, and when that wasn’t available Gojo, Geto, or Shoko would help you out. With all four contenders busy, there was no choice but for you to bring Megumi with you to work. Babysitters and daycare were out of the question on your salary of shitty tips. You could barely afford the apartment. The only way you could get furniture into it was on a loan from Gojo (which he refused to let you pay back).

You, Nanami and Gojo walk into the back of the building through the kitchen to punch in. “Our little Megumi’s gonna be joining us today!” Gojo announces to the kitchen staff, mainly comprised of high school students and Hakari. You hear various coos as you walk Megumi through the kitchen. “Can you say ‘hi,’ baby?” You whisper to Megumi through his knitted hat.

He pulls his face from the interior of your sweater and meekly waves to the staff, who all burst into bright smiles. There had been a few times your mother had brought Gumi to the diner to see you during hours, meaning the staff had not only heard of, but had seen Megumi around quite a bit.

Megumi, unlike his father, was incredibly shy and quiet even for his young age. He was one of the best babies you could ever ask for. He cried of course, even had a nasty case of colic when he was little, but on average he cried far less than a normal kid. For a while you were concerned, bringing him to every doctor your insurance would allow to get second opinion after second opinion. Their conclusion? It’s just his personality.

"It seems like he cried all his tears out during his first couple of weeks!" One doctor had joked. Yeah, so had you.

Every time you looked at Megumi, you saw Toji. Their resemblance was undeniable. Sometimes it felt as if he hadn’t inherited a single genetic trait from you. Some days, it made you more sad than others. You hadn’t seen any baby pictures of Toji, didn’t think his family even owned any, but if you had to guess, Megumi had to be the spitting image. You’d see old classmates you hadn’t talked to in years only for them to comment on how much they resembled each other. Not knowing about you and Toji's dramatic breakup.

You and Gojo punch in and take off your coats to hang them up on the rack. Yuki, one of your newer coworkers, bursts through the door with a few empty water glasses. “Agh, thank god you two are here!” She exclaims, setting them down by the sink. “I’ve got this table of guys that are driving me batshit. The kitchen guys don’t get it. I need a freakin’ break.”

You giggle at her and take off Megumi’s hat from where you’re holding him on your hip. “I can take the next one!” You hang up Megumi’s hat next to your coat. “Just let me get him situated.” Yuki gasps and runs over to you. “Hi Megumi! I’ve heard so much about you! It’s nice to meet you, I’m Yuki! Oh my god, Y/N he’s so freakin’ cute!” She exclaims.

Gojo and Yuki get to talking shit about her table while you walk out onto the floor to choose a booth for Megumi to sit. You choose the one furthest from the door and closest to the kitchen and set him down on a side where you’ll be able to see him clearly for the majority of your shift. “Okay Gumi, I’m gonna be working but I’m gonna come over and check on you a lot too, okay?” You set your bag next to him and pull out a few toys and a coloring book. “I’ll get the kitchen guys to sneak you some food, okay?” He nods and grabs a blue crayon from his half empty box. “Okay, mama.” He replies in the sweetest voice you've ever heard.

You give him a kiss on his forehead and move a piece of his hair behind his ear before moving to the other side of the booth and adjusting your waist apron. “Y/N, you got table three.” Yuki announced. You looked behind you to see Gojo and Yuki approaching Megumi’s table. “Megumiiiii! What are you coloring?” Gojo slid into the seat next to Megumi and his toys.

“How many?” You asked Yuki. “Just two.” She responded, “The one guy’s hot, maybe you could get laid tonight.” You scoffed. “First of all, don’t say shit like that on the floor when we have customers who may hear you.” You give her a pointed look, “secondly, you’re too young to be talking about intercourse. You’re like twelve.” You smile at her and turn around to go greet your table.

“I’m literally 18!” Yuki exclaims as you walk away.

“Exactly the point!” Gojo responds for you.

You pull out your server book as you approach your table and click your pen. “Hi, I’m Y/N, welcome to-” when you look up, you freeze.

First, you see Jinichi, Toji’s brother. When your eyes move over to the other side of the booth, you see him in the flesh for the first time in five years.

He’s looking down at the table, so you can’t see his face, but from his build alone you can see he’s almost doubled in muscle mass since you last saw him. His hair is longer, bangs falling over his eyes, and he sports a black muscle tee to show off how much he has bulked up over the years. He's intentionally avoiding your gaze.

All the feelings you’ve felt over these five years, anger, rage, resentment, loss, pain, sadness. They all come rushing back at once. Five years of wondering what he was up to while you stayed up with Megumi as a newborn when he had colic and wouldn’t stop crying for almost a month straight. As you operated on auto pilot and almost cried when you saw him smile again. As you cared for him through his first flu, which you had eventually caught too. Rushing him to the hospital for a slight rise in temperature as your mother convinced you over the phone that everything would be okay and you sobbed hysterically. When Megumi took his first steps, when he said his first word. You always thought of Toji.

How would he have reacted? You may not have trusted him, but you don’t think he’d be a particularly bad father if he were to put in the effort. Every time Megumi smiles, every time he frowns, it looks like Toji has walked right back into your life. When you two talked about kids, it was never very serious. You always talked about the idyllic. How many you’d have, what their names would be, if you’d move out to the countryside so they’d have space to play. You never discussed how you wanted to raise them, how you two would afford it, if Toji would stop dealing.

“Well, well, fucking well!” Jinichi starts. “This is just fucking hilarious!” You can see Toji tense up where his elbows rest on the table. Jinichi leaned back in his seat looking back and forth between you and Toji. “High school fucking sweethearts! Look at this shit, Toji, that's your girl right there! Hey Y/N-” Before Jinichi can finish his sentence, Toji bangs his hands on the table, making the condiment bottles rattle loudly, and bringing the entire restaurant's attention towards the three of you. Toji mumbles something under his breath that you can’t pick up. You’re still physically frozen in place.

Jinichi had always been an asshole. Toji didn’t like you to go over to his house for multiple reasons relating to his family, but one of the major ones was because of his brother. Jinichi always had a smart mouth. Liked to put dumb ideas in Toji’s head, one of which was the one that eventually got him shot and bleeding out on your bedsheets.

“Ahh, come on little brother. You’re so intense nowadays. We’re here for a good ol-”

“We’re here for fucking business, Jinichi. Shut the fuck up. We don’t want nothin’.” Toji says, finally addressing you without even looking your way. You feel someone grab onto your shoulder and quickly turn to see Gojo. He gently pulls you away from the table.

“I- I didn’t-” you begin, before Gojo can even get you five feet from the table, Jinichi is back at it. “Hey, what the hell, don’t take my waitress! I ain’t ordered nothin’ yet! Hey Y/N, you look good by the way! Usually girls get ugly after they have babies!”

It’s so sudden and quick that if you weren’t five steps away, you wouldn’t have seen it at all. Toji leans over the table, somehow calmly and aggressively at the same time, to grab his brother by the collar of his shirt. “That’s enough. Don’t make me fucking tell you again.” He says, his tone quiet and deadly.

All you can think about is Megumi, where the fuck is Megumi? He’s your priority right now. Your head whips toward Megumi’s table, where you see Yuki with her hand on Megumi’s shoulder as he watches you intensely.

“Fuck. Gumi.” You whisper to yourself.

You pull away from Gojo’s grasp to race toward your son. “Mama..” he whispers as you reach him and pull him tightly into a hug. “It’s okay honey. Don’t worry about it.” You firmly grasp the back of his neck to ground yourself. This is exactly why you had said all those things you said to Toji all those years ago. You didn’t want your child growing up in an unstable environment. You didn’t want Toji’s issues to be a cause of stress for yourself or for Megumi. It'd be slightly different if these were two random guys in the diner. Sure, you'd shield Megumi if it got intense, but the fact that one was his father made the hair on the back of your neck stand up at the slightest movement.

“You look sad mama. Did the big men hurt you?” You laugh at his innocence. “No, baby. They didn’t hurt me.” They did hurt you. In a deep emotional way that you didn’t feel like explaining to a four year old right now. “Let's go honey, little kids shouldn’t see this.”

“I’m a little kid, right?” He asks. “Yes, you are.”

“What the hell is going on?” You hear a booming voice come from the kitchen door and see Nanami walking towards Toji’s table. “Nothings going on!” Jinichi yells. “You know how the little brothers are, always got a goddamned inferiority complex goin’ on or somethin’!” Toji still has a grasp on his shirt as Jinichi is yelling at Nanami.

“I’m going to have to ask you two to leave.” Nanami says calmly. “I ain’t fucking leaving. I came here for some fuckin’ service from my brother’s old-” Suddenly, Jinichi’s head is being slammed onto the table, and a collective gasp is aroused from the restauraunt.

“Come, Gumi.” You pick him up in your arms. “Yuki, can you pack his stuff up for me please?” You ask as you contemplate your next move. “Of course, of course.” You can’t head to the front or kitchen door without Gumi potentially seeing more violence. You would have to rush past in the hopes that nothing else happens while you’re moving by. The kitchen door is closer from here, less potential for Megumi to see anything.

“Ok, Gumi. Can you close your eyes for me real quick, baby?” You ask, rubbing his back. “Ok, mama.” You move Megumi so that his face is pressed to your chest and book it toward the kitchen door. You hear more commotion as you pass by, but will yourself not to turn around and check. Gojo and Yuki follow you in from behind with your bag. When you’re in the kitchen, you’re quick to set Megumi on the ground to grab his hat and secure it on his head.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N, I never would’ve given you that table if I knew.” She apologizes as she hands you your bag. You laugh. “It’s not your fault Yuki. By the way, remember what I said about no intercourse? You wanna implement that policy because of fuckers like him-” “Mama!” Megumi chastises. “Sorry, bad word.” Yuki lets out a relieved sigh.

“I didn’t even see them walk in, Y/N-” Gojo starts. “Oh my gosh guys, it's not a big deal! Seriously, I’m just worried about Gumi seeing anything.” Even as you say this, your hands shake as you attempt to zip up Megumi’s coat. Gojo gives you a knowing look and grabs your own coat off the rack for you.

“I just, um, need a little break. I can’t afford to lose out on the money tonight.” You say, grabbing your coat from him and sliding it on. “I’ll cover you-” Gojo starts, but you interrupt. “I’m not taking money from your family, Gojo!” You pick up Megumi and hold him on your hip. “I’m not saying that. I’ll split the tips from tonight with you. My apology for not seeing them before.”

“No, Gojo.”

Nanami walks in the kitchen door. “Take the day off,” he says to you before walking back to his office. “No, Nanami I’m ok I’ll just take him to my mom’s really quick-”

“You’re too shaken up to do anything else today. I’ll schedule you more next week to make up for it.” Nanami supplies. “Thank you.” You say, silently relieved. Was your distress seriously that obvious? You would have to tone it down in front of Gumi.

“Wooow Nanami you’re such a good manager-”

“Can it Gojo, you’re gonna have to pick up the slack tonight.”

You’re already making your way out the back of the building when Gojo responds with a whine.

“Hey what the hells going on out there?” Hakari asks as you walk by. “Some bullshit.” You respond. “Mama!”

You weren’t even in the building for thirty minutes today, but it feels thirty degrees cooler when you walk out. The trek to the bus stop is gonna suck.

It's a ten minute walk from the diner to the bus stop. You cling onto Megumi for warmth, making sure he's buried not only in his own coat, but in yours. When you get to the bus stop, you realize it’s gonna be another fifteen minutes before the bus comes. Megumi isn’t one to complain, but you can feel him shivering under you. “Just a little longer baby.” You soothe him, rapidly rubbing his back and arms in an attempt to warm him.

It must be some sick joke for an old pickup truck to pull right in front of the bus stop and roll its window down.

“Do you need a ride?” Toji asks.

You've gotta be fucking kidding.

part two is up! thanks so much for all the love on the first on! 70 notes is crazy!

pls send requests or questions to me! and also let me know if i missed anything in the tags!

thank you guys !!!

(i'll make a masterlist maybe when pt 3 goes up but im too lazy rnnnnnn)

#toji fushiguro x reader #toji fushiguro #toji x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 2 months

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Country Rose 3

Warnings: age gap, power dynamics, creep behaviour, other dark elements. As usual, be mindful of your content consumption.

I also beg of you to leave me some tuppence in the form of a comment and/or reblog. You are cherished!

Enjoy, my loverlies.

You go down and find Martha in the kitchen. She smiles so brightly as you appear and offer to help her finish the corn. You can't help a sliver of glumness. Your mother never was so happy to see you. No, it's her disappointment that pushed you accept the job to move away to the middle of no where.

The more you think about it, the more you doubt yourself. To what end are you putting yourself through this desolate purgatory. It might be novel and peaceful now but you always tend to grow bored with the familiar. It's the very reason you flunked out of college. You couldn't do the same day over and over.

"What are we making with the corn?" You ask, hoping the conversation can ease the tension, not just with Martha but in your mind.

"Oh, I got some potatoes to roast and some beef. Homegrown," she explains, "you do a lotta cookin', sweetheart?"

"Mostly out of boxes," you laugh, "but I'm willing to learn. How are you roasting the potatoes? Quartered? Sliced?"

"Oh, you are so darned helpful," she brightens and gently taps your arm, "you can grab the sack just there," she points to the pantry door, "and give em a scrub before you cut em. Anyway you like. I'll pick out some seasonings."

"Sounds like a plan," you agree.

You set to work. You haul out the heavy canvas bag with a grunt and barely get it on the counter. Martha hands you a metal strainer, dented from years of use, and you fill it, rinsing the skins in the deep sink.

"Clark said something about school," Martha says, "you'll learn a lot more out here."

"Oh, yeah, dropped out," you turn and pick up the knife she set out with the thick board. "You know... just wasn't for me. My mom didn't want me sitting around and to be honest, I hate doing nothing."

"Lots to do around here," she assures.

She doesn't seem sad at the statement. She seems excited for your help. You're almost relieved as you expected cow dung and horse flies.

"I'll be sure to carry my weight," you promise as you start chopping.

"Mm, how sweet you are," she trills, "I see why Clark brought you here."

"Uh, yeah, I'd hate to let him down. And it's a far way from home."

"Why, you're grown. Not really meant to be home, is it? Finding your way like we all do," she hums and fills a pot with water, covering the corn cobs.

Before she can attempt to lift it, you're at her side, "let me, please."

"Oh, dang, you are just like, Clark," she mutters "I'm not out to pasture just yet."

"I know, but... it's heavy even for me," you assure her and show your effort as you carry the pot to the stove.

"Mmm, still my house," she frowns and backs up. "Well, when I was your age, me and Jonathan were married for a while. Couple years but... no kids. Not til Clark came along."

"Oh? How old were you when... when you had him?" You ask out if courtesy. You peek at her. You're not sure of her age and you're not bold enough to guess. Clark has to be at least in his mid-30s.

"Oh, yes, about his age now," she answers as if reading your mind. "He's mine. Ours. Not by blood. Could never... you know..." she looks grim as she lowers her chin, "all the same, me and Jonathan never saw him as anything but ours."

"Adopted?" You wonder.

"Think we were meant to wait for him," she perks up, "anyway, how can I be sad with such a good son? Don't ya think?"

"Yes, Clark is very nice," you agree.

"Sweet boy," she preens, "strong, gentle, smart." She clasps her hands together, "I'm sure I don't need to say it."

"Mm, uh huh," you murmur, not really sure what she means.

“I know a lovely idea,” she says, “I have the meat marinating so why don’t you take him some of my sun tea? It’s his favourite.”

“Ah, um, sure, I can do that.”

“And take your time. You don’t gotta stay inside all day,” she chimes.

“There’s a pitcher in the fridge. Put some ice in before you rush off. Have some yourself if you like.”

You take the task as an opportunity to see more of the farm You pour a glass of the dark iced tea and add a few cubes of ice. Martha watches you go with a bright expression that leaves you a bit uneasy. It’s just her way, you guess. Maybe it’s a part of her condition. Clark mentioned she wasn’t quite herself.

You head out and stop at the top step of the porch. You realise, you don’t know where to look for him. Instead, you look out at the fields and the barn, and the meeting of blue and green off on the horizon. It’s beautiful. You think this is what it feels like to have your breath taken away.

“Hey,” Clark startles you as he appears. “Dinner already?”

“Um, just tea, your mom sent it out,” you come down the steps to meet him. His skin glistens in sweat that dampens the edges of his shirt. The fabric clings to the thick muscles beneath.

“Thanks, you have any?” He accepts the glass and gulps deeply.

“Not yet, maybe with dinner.”

“How’s ma doing?”

“Fine, fine. I’m just helping her. She seems happy.”

“She would be,” he shrugs, “always wanted a daughter. Spoiled me for sure but I know. She would’ve done well with one.”

“Yeah, uh, but she loves you.”

“Well, yeah, but every mother wants a daughter,” he says, “what about you? How are you settling in?”

“Um, good. It’s... different.”

“For now,” he says, “but you’ll get used to it.”

#clark kent #dark clark kent #dark!clark kent #clark kent x reader #series #drabble #dcu #superman #country rose

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to-the-stars8 · 1 month

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The Waynes' Nanny

Batfamily and Reader/ Bruce Wayne x Reader Chapters Ao3 Originally, I was going to make this a half-chapter because I wrote this on my phone while at work, but I decided I'm a bitch who doesn't do half-chapters. Anyway, here's this one. Sorry for any mistakes, it was slightly rushed because I wanted to get something out there since I've been away from the keyboard for a good moment!

Nanny in The Attic

Alfred had asked you to get some spring decorations from the attic, and you were happy to oblige. You loved decorating, it brought a sense of wonderment to your life that was otherwise filled with the endless tasks of being a caretaker. So, you took to the attic like a moth to a flame. There were boxes upon boxes, old coats strewn about, a creepy-looking rocking horse in one corner, and copious amounts of dust.

“The box is labeled but I couldn’t tell you where the damned thing is,” Alfred said as he flipped on the light. “If you like, you could wait until I return. It might be easier.”

You waved him off as you ventured further into the room. “No, no. You’re a busy man, Alfred. Plus, the kids are at school, and this will give me something to do today.”

“Very well, then, have at it,” The old man said, heading towards the attic stairs. “Master Bruce is working from home today, and there’s an intercom on the wall over there if you want to call for help should you need it. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind lending a hand.”

You looked over to where the butler was pointing. “Just when I thought this place couldn’t get fancier. Thanks, Alfred. I’ll see you later.”

With a wave, he left. You began to pull apart the attic in search of the alleged spring decor, and it seemed almost hopeless. There were just too many boxes. There was Christmas (which you couldn’t wait to see), Halloween, and just about every holiday decor that had ever existed. Some boxes were full of pictures and jewelry. You took a peek into some, just out of pure curiosity, and were amazed by just how old some of these things were.

Then, you stumbled onto one box that had photo albums from within the past thirty years and decided to look through them. It took you very little time to realize that these were albums of Mr. Wayne’s family.

You smiled, looking at a smaller version of your boss, as you realized just how much Damian looked like him. You also noted just how much Bruce looked like his father. Eerily so. That had to do something to his psyche. His mother was a beauty, too. You found her headshot sitting right under one of the photo albums. She had curly reddish brown hair and deep blue eyes that reminded you of Bruce’s. Mr. And Mrs. Wayne were a handsome couple with the world at their feet, but that was cut short the day they died. You were almost too young to remember but could recall some family member bursting into the kitchen to announce that the Wayne family had been murdered. It wasn’t entirely true, only Mr. And Mrs. Wayne had been killed— leaving behind a traumatized little boy.

“Poor Mr. Wayne,” you said to yourself before putting the albums back. “Now, where in the hell is that box?”

You looked around the room, eyes scanning when you saw it. The box was high up on a shelf labeled ‘spring’ in black Sharpie. After moving some more boxes out of the way, you began to make a path so it would be easier to move. It was going to be so easy and perfect, you thought. Once all the boxes were out of the way, you could grab the step ladder and get what you needed.

Setting the ladder up, you climbed it, but the box was still just out of reach. You supposed that the shelf could support some of your weight, so you lifted your leg to step onto it. What you hadn’t seen was an old broken vase jutting out from one of the boxes. You felt the pain of it cutting into your leg before you knew what it was. With a cry, you fell back hard onto the floor.

“Ow, ow,” you said, pushing yourself up. Looking down at your leg, blood was streaming from the wound. Alfred would not be happy about this, you thought. Putting your hand over the cut so not all the blood would drip onto the floor, you awkwardly made your way over to the intercom.

You had no clue how to use it and began pressing buttons.

“Mr. Wayne,” you would say when it sounded like you got through to a room. “Mr. Wayne, are you there?”

Finally, after about ten minutes, you got a voice coming through the other end, “Everything alright?”

“Aha! Mr. Wayne, I cut my leg pretty bad and think I need a first aid kit. Could I trouble you to bring me one?”

“I’ll be right there,” he said. Before you could say anything back, the line went dead.

Grumbling to yourself, you made your way to the attic stairs to sit and wait for your rescue. Blood was pooling between your fingers, and you could feel it slowly get closer to your socks.

“I’m here, I’m here.” You looked up to see Mr. Wayne rushed up the attic steps with an aid kit in hand before stopping right in front of you. “Alright, let me see.”

You moved your hand to the side, but couldn’t bring yourself to see just how bad it was. He put his hand on your knee to keep your leg steady, and you couldn’t help but notice just how big and warm his hand was.

“Luckily, you don’t need stitches, just a clean-up and some bandages.”

“What should I do?” You asked, hands already going for the kit.

Bruce didn’t let you get close enough to grab it before he picked it up. He didn’t say anything as picked out the hydrogen peroxide, some ointment, and bandages. Pouring a little of the hydrogen peroxide onto a cotton ball, he slowly started to wipe at your leg. You yelped from the sudden sting and pushed his hand away.

“Stop it, that hurts,” you said meekly. “Ow! Bruce, please.”

He stopped to look at you, eyes meeting yours and thumb starting to trace small circles on your knee, before speaking, “Sorry, just hold still. It won’t take much longer.”

He began to dab the cotton ball back on the wound again, and this time you were prepared for the sting. As he worked on your wound, you stared at him. Mr. Wayne wasn’t just a handsome man, but he was pretty, too. He had the type of looks that befitted a character in a fantasy novel rather than a traumatized rich boy. His eyes, though, were such an intense blue that they were hard not to look at.

You thought out loud, “You have your mother’s eyes.”

Bruce whipped his head up to look at you, eyes narrowing. “What?”

You tried to not let the embarrassment show through. It was a fact that just so happened to slip from your mouth. “You have your mother’s eyes. I saw a picture of her earlier.”

Bruce broke his gaze and continued working on your leg, now putting the bandage on. “Oh.”

“Do you remember your parents?” You asked.

“Yes,” He said after a minute. “Everyone said I looked like my father, but he saw more of my mother.”

You giggled and took his hand when he offered to help you up. “She must have loved that.”

“Oh, she did.” For the first time, you saw Bruce smile genuinely. A smile for himself instead of the kids or you. “That’s why she wanted a girl after me, but they never got around to it.”

“Can’t picture you as an older brother,” you said as you wandered over to the shelf.

Bruce didn’t say anything to that and changed the subject. He offered to get the box down for you, saying that you didn’t need to be reaching up or doing anything else on your leg. You weren’t going to complain and let him get the box.

“Good thing you called me,” He said with a grunt. “It’s heavy. Now, where do you want it?”

“The living room would be a good place to start,” you said before you checked the time. You still had a couple of hours before the kids got home, but thought that perhaps you could wait. “Maybe I should wait for the kids. They may want to help.”

“Alfred would rather burn the manor down.”

You could imagine it. Mr. Wayne brought the kids up in a way that they were very creative, and you could only imagine how that would transfer over in the decor. Alfred was too neat of a person for that.

Mr. Wayne set the box down on the living room coffee table, making a cloud of dust come up from the box, before turning to you. You smiled kindly and thanked him. He nodded before heading towards the door, he stopped halfway before turning to you.

“Make sure you clean your wound, you wouldn’t want it to get infected.”

“Thank you, Mr. Wayne.”

He nodded before finally leaving you. You looked back down at the decoration in your hands and huffed. It’d be a lot of work, but if you wouldn’t get it done.

And, you did as such. By the time Alfred got home with the kids later that afternoon, he was shocked by just how well you did. The whole house was overflowing with spring delight to the point that he began to ask how you managed such a task. You only told him you had magic hands before you went to tend to the children. They were happy to see you, all of them clamoring about, and noted the bandage on your leg.

“I got in a fight with a bear today,” you said.

Dick rolled his eyes. “You’re such a liar.”

Bruce suddenly popped into the kitchen where all of you were. “It’s true. I was there. I helped fight off the bear.”

“Are there even bears in New Jersey?” Jason asked, curiously.

Duke, on the other hand, looked horrified, “Why are there bears in the backyard, Dad?”

You were quick to tell him that the two of you were only kidding, that the cut really just came from an accident. Duke seemed relieved, while the other kids were a bit disappointed. When they all ran off to do their own things, Bruce quickly stopped you from joining them.

“Next time you decide to decorate, let me know in advance.”

“You don’t like it?”

“On the contrary, actually. What I don’t like is anyone in my household getting hurt.”

You nodded, trying to reason with yourself as to why you had butterflies in your stomach.

152 notes · View notes

flowershines · 8 months

Text

you’re not mine

summary: reader gets bullied by character since childhood but ever since they are in the same friend group things changed.

warnings: smut, alcohol, blood, bullying, shower sex, fighting, drinking, party, small wounds, boners, unprotected sex (lmk if i missed any)

Not proof read

“Why are you even here Y/n?” The boy sitting next to you asks as tiny bodies filled every open space around you both, he opened his mouth smirking as he finished his sentence “No wonder you are sitting by yourself, who would want to be sitting with someone like you.” laughs filled the room while tears threatened to fall from your eyes and roll down your small face. Looking down he lifted your face up by your chin using his pointer finger looking into your watery and blurred eyes, he laughed at your embarrassed state just before he pushed his pointer finger deeper into your chin then pushing your head to the side making you look at all the kids around you, giggling at the way he treated you. Hearing the bell ring you immediately shot up grabbing your lunchbox, speed walking to the bathrooms hoping that no one was following you close enough to follow you in the bathrooms with you. Peeking into the bathrooms you walked in seeing no one slowly walking into one of the stalls as the tears that threatened to fall was now a dark spot on your favorite shirt, the tears poured down your face as you placed some toilet paper onto the toilet seat. Sitting down you opened your lunch box picking up the sandwich your mom had made for you looking down into your lunchbox a tear had fallen in it, making a quiet noise which pulled you out of your trance picking up the sandwich and taking a bite out of it.

“Y/n?” Picking your head up to look at the teacher, you had previously been looking at the floor staring off into space. “The answer to number 3?” Looking down at your paper you told him what the answer was on your paper while he nodded and proceeded to finish his teaching, calling on other students. “You okay?” Your friend Yuna asked as worry started to display on her face while she looked at you waiting for your answer, you nodded “Just in my thoughts, but everything is okay.” relief filled her body “Promise?” a smile started to form as she never failed to lift your mood. “Pinky.” Yuna had always been there for you when you both were little and the kids picked on you, especially Jay. He had always picked on you even if it was for the smallest thing, but no matter what he did you always went home wiping your tears while walking off the bus and running to your mothers arms. She would always ask how your day at school was, it was always the same response ‘good’. You never told her how he would pick on you because you didn't want her to worry. From a young age you always wanted to be more mature and hoped that when you grew older people’s opinions wouldn’t matter to you, but since you were always a sensitive kid, going home crying from the kids words you never grew out of accepting people’s opinions. You tried your best to look at least normal so that way you fit in, trying the new styles, having the new toys, everything. But no matter how hard you tried, nothing worked. You knew you were an easy target from the moment you started to eat your lunch in the bathrooms, hiding from all the other kids or when someone would walk into the bathrooms your heart would pound out of your chest waiting and anticipating for the worst to happen.

“Class dismissed” The man in front of class exclaims causing all the students in the chairs to start picking up their bags and heading out of the doors as you grabbed your bag holding your papers someone walked by you slamming their hand on top of the papers making them all fall to the ground, Yuna saw and ran towards the person grabbing their bag pushing them onto the ground “Fucking asshole.” she exclaimed loudly while everyone's attention was brought to her. The teacher ran towards her pulling her off of the man on the ground with his nose bleeding, his expression was filled with shock and confusion. “Office you two, now.” Crouching down picking up your papers, a figure appeared in front of you. Choosing to ignore it you knew nothing good was going to come out of it, a foot stomped on top of the paper in your hand causing you to get a sudden feeling of confidence shoot through your veins, “Aw look at her, looking like a lost puppy. So cute. Look Jay.” The man next to him looks down at you then back at his friend “Don’t waste your time on her, go. I’ll be behind you in a minute.” the foot lifted from your paper leaving a dirt mark from his shoe left on the paper. “What do you want?” You asked, swiping away the dirt on the paper looking down, continuing to pick up everything, “First fix your attitude, Second you owe me.”

Picking up your head and giving him a disgusted face you looked at him as your tongue poked the inside of your cheek “Owe you? For what.” he scoffed “We both know what they could’ve done to you if I wasn’t here.” rolling your eyes you finished picking everything up and stood up putting everything into your bag “You're kidding right? So I should be thanking you for everything?” he nodded and anticipated for you to thank him, you smiled sarcastically at him then walked by to the door shoulder checking him on your way there. “The day I die is the day I will thank you for everything.”

Anger started to fill every inch of your body as you stormed off of the school's canvas walking to your car till a scream was heard behind you causing you to stop in your tracks and turn towards the girl who screamed, she made direct eye contact with you as she pointed towards something. Following what her finger was pointing at you see someone driving a motorcycle directly towards you at full speed, you ran out of the way trying to see who was behind the helmet but failed to recognize them. Standing there trying to process what just happened and how someone literally just tried to run you over, Yuna came running towards you “Y/n are you okay?” you nodded as no words were able to fall from your lips due to shock taking over. She picked up your arm and started to inspect your body trying to find any injuries “Who was that? What happened?” your lips parted as words tried to escape only to be heard as a small mumble barely being able to talk. “Let's get you home.” She let go of your hand and placed her hand on your back as she walked you to your car, opening the door for you, “Can you drive?” you nodded “Just shocked I think i’m okay now.” she nodded “Text me if you need anything.” shutting your door she started to walk to her car as you placed your bag in the passenger's side of your car. On the drive home the only thing you could think of was how if that girl didn’t catch your attention that person would have run you over, not even Jay’s words were in your mind anymore. Grabbing your bag you swung it over your shoulder as you opened your car door taking a step out you shut the door behind you locking your car proceeding to walk up to your apartment, shock was easily displayed on your face. Usually at least one person would make small talk with you but today no one said anything, your aura was easily portrayed showing shock and not wanting to be talked to.

Unlocking your house and walking in you placed your bag onto the closest chair as you walked to the couch immediately plopping yourself onto it lying horizontally, placing your phone on your chest you felt the vibration through your shirt picking up your phone once more you saw a text from Yuna.

going over Sunoo’s, u wanna come?

when?

he said anytime

u in?

sure

can u pick me up?

yup

Sunoo was one of those people that everyone loved, they loved his positive attitude and the way he can make anyone quickly change their emotions from feeling unwanted and sad to feeling welcomed and happy just from his presence. He was friends with everyone but on;y kept the people who were most important the closest, including you and Yuna and mostly other guys. The only thing that you didn’t like about being one of Sunoo’s best friends was his other friends, the guys that were friends with him weren’t as nice as he is. They were the guys that picked on you ever since you were a little girl. It was also when you, Yuna and Sunoo all became friends. Yuna was the only one that knew about them bullying you, Sunoo didn’t know about them bullying you simply because you didn’t want him to know. Jay was the one who mostly picked on you, sure the whole group would chime in and say certain things about you but none of them picked on you as much as he did.

The sound of the bathroom door creaking open pulled your gaze from looking at the food in your small hands to the wall of inside the stall, whispers were heard. Pausing your breathing you held it hoping that they wouldn’t hear anything and go away, your heart started to beat fast enough that the sound of your heart was pounding though your ears. Your body started to shake wondering if they could hear your heartbeat just as loud as you were hearing it, your body shot back further onto the toilet as the sound of someone kicking the stall you were in startled you. Picking your feet up to now being huddled into a fetal position you just whispered to yourself how everything was going to be okay while your hands covered your ears, whispering to yourself the sound of your heartbeat filled your ears yo tried your hardest to ignore the people outside the stalls but no matter how hard you tried they wouldn’t leave you alone.

Feeling an unwanted presence near you, you picked up your head only to be met by Jay to be standing in front of you, “Jay come on hurry up.” He turned his head towards the boy keeping watch by the doors “What did I tell you, shut up and keep watch.” his attention turned back to you as he grabbed your arm and unplugged both of your ears making it clear to hear him when he talks, “Hear me now? God you’re so pathetic.” his grasp on your arm tightened as he started to pull you out of the stall making all of your lunch fall onto the ground. He grabbed your lunchbox with his other hand as he brought your lunch box close to his mouth, spit into it then handed it to his friend, you didn’t know what the boy was doing to your lunchbox and you didn’t want to know. What were you going to tell your mom the reason why you needed a new lunchbox? Tears rolled down your face and onto your shirt and your small skirt that was just a little bit above your knees, “Your parents must be disappointed that you’re their daughter, I know I would be.”

The words he said to you still ran through your head even years later, I mean this happened when you were in elementary school yet you still remember how you felt and every word he said. You just wanted to know if he even remembered hurting you as much as he did. Feeling your phone vibrate on your thigh you picked the phone up looking at the message ‘here’ it was from Yuna, looking out the window you saw her car with the headlights still on. Grabbing your essentials you grabbed your keys while you shut off all the lights just before you walked to your door shutting it behind you, then locking it. Walking down to her car you placed your phone in your back pocket and started to get everything in its place. Opening her car door she had a smile on her face ear to ear “Hey girl.” you smiled and greeted her as you sat in her car placing everything down, “Bad news and good news which first.” you sighed as you sat and relaxed back into the seat. “Bad news.”

Turning your attention to her she took a deep inhale before she exclaimed “We aren’t the only ones going, the assholes are going too.” rolling your eyes you started to gather your things and open the door but she locked the doors before you could leave. “Good news is Jay said he wanted to talk to you and there are going to be drinks.” turning towards her you said “How is Jay wanting to talk to me a good thing, he probably just wants to torment me more.” “Look I know you both haven't always seen eye to eye on everything but people change.” She started to drive and started driving before you could change your mind and leave the car. “What do you mean eye to eye Yuna, this bitch picked on me for years and people like him don’t change. I don’t wanna go, please don’t make me.” “We are almost there, after 20 minutes come to me and if you still want to leave we can, just give it a shot. Please for me.” Sighing you realized that it would just be better to give up rather than fight with her, maybe talking to Sunoo for the 20 minutes will make the time go by faster.

Pulling up to their dorms you see a man leaning with his back turned towards the window while he is in Sunoo’s room sitting up. You made sure your phone was in your pocket and turned towards the girl in the driver's seat “20 minutes?” she nodded towards you as she opened the door stepping out while you did the same looking in the mirror before you left you made sure that you looked fine in the rearview mirror. Following Yuna towards the door Sunoo opened the door with a huge smile displayed on his face as a man stood behind him, he was taller than Sunoo yet you couldn’t make out the man. “Y/n you actually came.” Sunoo exclaimed happily from the door as he held it open for the both of you, stepping inside the dorm you hugged Sunoo as he previously held his arms open waiting to be filled by your presence. “Yeah, Yuna dragged me here.” You laughed it off as you finally recognized the figure that had been standing behind Sunoo the whole time. It was the man you despised the most, “Y/n you live in your apartment alone right?” Sunoo asked as he pulled you into a separate room leaving Yuna and Jay behind. “Yeah? Why?” Confusion started to fill through your body as you ran to conclusions on why he might be asking, “Well my friend just got kicked out of his dorm. Is there any way he can stay with you for a couple days, a week tops?” walking into an empty room he shut the door behind you. “Who is the friend and why did he get kicked out?”

He turned towards you “He hasn’t been on the same page with his dorm members and they agreed to kick him out, me and my friends would take him in but he said he doesn’t want our pity. We all know you don’t like him so we thought it might be better if you pity him for once and not him pitying you.” certain people started to come into your mind as the description he gave you wasn't as clear as you hoped, “Well who is it?” He looked down and whispered their name but due to the loud people in the room over you couldn't hear who he was talking about, “Huh? Speak up.” he looked up at you and signed “It’s Jay now listen before you say anything-""No.” you cut him off “I said before you say anything, anyways please Y/n he already said no to us. You are our last hope.” “Sunoo, me and him don’t get along. I don't like him.” You started to walk away but he grabbed your wrist “Please, just think about it. Let me know by the end of the week please.” he let go of your wrist letting you leave the room as he followed right behind you. Walking to Yuna she sat on the ground as she watched the rest of the guys argue and talk about video games as you made eye contact with her she looked so done, walking towards her you grabbed her wrist as you pulled her to the kitchen leading her to where the drinks were.

The sound of the door opening once more made both you and Yuna’s hea turn towards the door. It was a man in a motorcycle helmet, the same one you saw who tried to run you over earlier. It had the same red dash marks on the side of it, slowly you turned towards Yuna as she stood behind you “What?”she asked “It's him. That's the guy that tried to run me over, the helmet has the same dash marks on it.” her hand shot straight up to her mouth as your attention went back to the man standing by the door he started to take off his helmet his hari was the first feature you saw it was brown and slightly curled, his eyes were dark brown it matched his pupils. Jungwon? There was no way he picked his head up, placed his helmet down then headed towards his friends to greet them, your mouth was agape just trying to comprehend everything. “Oh hey Yuna, Y/n I didn’t know you guys were coming tonight.” Neither of you said a word just looking at them “God what is up with you both, cat got your tongue?”

Heeseung asked as he walked past you both towards the kitchen you turned around and headed into the kitchen with him completely ignoring Jungwon, walking in behind Heesung you asked “Can you get me a cup?” he turned to you surprised yet followed your request “Wow, the princess is drinking?” he handed you the cup as you grabbed it from his hand he teasingly pulled the cup away from you, giving him a serious look you put out your hand and waited for him to put the cup in your hand since he wants to play games. “Yeah, yeah, please.” He finally placed the cup in your hand as you started to fill your cup with your favorite drink then added in some alcohol to even it out. Immediately putting the cup towards your lips you drank half of it then added more alcohol into it Heesung placed his hand on top of yours “Woah, slow down Y/n your gonna-” shooing away his hand you interrupted his words “Mind your business Heeseung.”

He placed his hand by his side letting you be as you proceeded to continue your movements by drinking then refilling and repeat, you started to walk back towards the group of guys in the other room with the cup in your hand as you sat next to Jake while he continued to talk to the other guys about how he is the best at everything he does while the guys laughed at his cockiness. Jake placed his hand onto your thigh “Right? Y/n tell them.” he asked turning to you as his hand ran up and down your thigh getting closer and closer towards your upper inner thigh picking your head up all of the guys looked at you waiting for your response while the other half of the guys were looking at the way Jake’s hand rode up your thigh. “Huh.” Your mind and thought started to run blurry as your words became more and more high pitched as minutes went by the more you became intoxicated, “Aw.” he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and started to rub your upper arm. “It hasn’t even been 15 minutes and you are already starting to feel it?” Sunoo walked over to the couch sitting in the open seat beside Yuna “She doesn’t drink as much as you do, give her a break. She’s probably just tipsy right now.” he said as he relaxed on the couch as Jake scoffed “I don’t drink that much.” he moved his head onto your shoulder as his hand still rested on your arm. Placing Jake’s hand back onto his own thigh you got up from your position from sitting next to him trying to keep yourself stable “Where are you going?” Sunghoon asked, looking up at you, “Get another drink.” walking into the kitchen a figure followed behind you and grabbed the cup out of your hands “Don’t you think you have had enough to drink, why don’t you go lay down? Come on.” the man held out his hand as you grabbed him while he led you to an opened bedroom dorm. You laid down onto the bed stirring in it as the man placed a blanket on you kissing your forehead then leaving you to rest in the room by yourself.

Your eyes opened as your pupils tried to adjust to the sudden brightness from the sun stirring in the bed you groaned not wanting to get out of your comfortable state but knew you weren’t in your own bed and should probably go home to your bed, sitting up you started to walk towards the door as you heard faded voices in the room next to yours. Opening the door you were met to see Jay shirtless walking in the same direction as you, for someone who you are supposed to hate, why does he have to be so handsome. “Move.” He said as he was about to shoulder check you yet you moved out of the way causing him to stumble in his tracks, a smile presented on your face. He turned around looking at you and giving you the death glare you placed your tongue on the inside of your cheek as you tried your hardest to maintain a straight face, he turned back around sighing to himself then walking back to the living room with the other guys. “Jeez, how many of you stayed the night?” You asked walking in behold Jay “Sleeping beauty is finally awake.” Heeseung says from the couch “Most of them stayed the night, sleeping out here.” you walked over to Niki sitting next to him “One of you could have slept beside me or literally in the room, I could’ve slept on the couch to-” “Don’t be crazy Y/n, it’s better that you slept by yourself. Plus I wouldn't want someone like Jake sleeping with you all alone, god knows what he would do.” You chuckled at Jay’s comment. You didn’t know if it was because he had his shirt off or because he might have been trying to be nice but something felt right, for the first time in a while he wasn’t being a bitch to you.

As much as you wanted to forget everything he had done to you and have a good time with him and your friends, the constant reminders filling your head of your childhood memories revolved around him, “I should get going, do any of you know where my phone is.” Jungwon started to stand up from his spot on the couch “It’s in my room charging.” he moved his hand in a ‘come here’ motion causing you to get up from your seat and follow him into his room, walking to his room he started to talk quiet enough so that way only you could hear him. “I’m sorry about yesterday…” Was he referring to almost killing you or some other time? He finished his sentence “...Jay told me to, trust me if I got too close I was going to move out of the way. I would never do anything like that no matter how much I hate the person.” Processing Jungowns words you just nodded to him “It’s fine, i’m just glad no one got hurt.” ‘I would never do anything like that no matter how much I hate the person.’ His words kept repeating in your head because Jay was the one who told him to do it yet you had no idea what Jay’s intentions were, what would happen if you did get hurt? Or worse? Did Jay want to kill you? Every question in the world scattered through your mind, Jungwon pulled you out of your thoughts as he placed his hand with your phone in front of you. “It should be fully charged but I don’t know 100%.” Smiling at him, you thanked him for charging it and walked out of the room while he walked behind you, “Y/n come get something to eat before you go.”

Heeseung said from the kitchen as he held up a piece of bacon, one foot in front of the other you stopped just in front of his figure. The guys gathered in the kitchen, “You remember anything Y/n? You don’t usually drink like that.” you nodded and turned towards Sunghoon as he asked you the question. “I remember some things.” “Like what?” Jay and some of the members picked up their heads to look at you as they anticipated your response “Like walking into the kitchen to get drinks, seeing Jungwon walk in, Heeseung teasing me about drinking, and someone bringing me to the room.” Jay’s gaze was pulley on you as he asked “Do you remember who?” finding it odd how he wanted to know you turned towards him and shook your head.

Heeseung placed the pieces of bacon onto a place as you took a piece just before you gave it to the guys who waited at the table, “I’m gonna get going now, bye guys. Thank you Sunoo.” you said as you walked over to him giving him a hug then walking towards the door with your phone in your hand. Shit you had forgotten that Yuna gave you a ride here. Turning around you walked towards Sunoo again “Who came here in a car? I forgot that Yuna drove me here.” he looked up for a minute as he started to think, “They all carpooled in Jay’s car.” huffing out air you walked over towards Jay you stood in front of him causing him to look up at you “Can you drive me home?” he looked up at you “No.” sighing you turned to him “Please Jay, I’ll do anything. I just want to go home.” he stood up grabbing you by the waist to move you aside as he grabbed his shoes “Let’s go, you owe me though.” you walked over to him with a huge smile on your face to show your gratitude. “Thank you so much Jay.” He finished putting on his shoes as he grabbed his keys swinging them on his finger for a minute as he waited for you to finish putting on your shoes, jumping up when you finished you rushed out of the house as you stopped in your tracks as you were waiting for Jay to catch up to you. He took his time walking towards his car, he opened the door to his side as you got in as well putting on your seatbelt he turned towards you to make sure that you had everything you needed “Have everything?” you nodded as you sat further back into the chair.

He started up the car and continued to start driving. You never wanted to make him upset or anything but you wanted to know, “Why did you treat that way?” he turned towards you for a minute then returned his gaze on the road before him. “What?” You looked down as you fiddled with your fingers and whispered “When we were kids.” He heard you even though the whisper was more faded than usual, “I- ugh was a kid, I can’t really explain it.” “Can’t explain?” you scoffed at his comment “That was not how a kid should treat someone, you didn’t even know me. Yet you picked on me almost every day.” “Listen Y/n, it's more complicated than you think.I was an asshole and I should have never done anything to you, I’m sorry.” His feeling felt off. You couldn’t tell if he genuinely did feel sorry or if he felt sorry for you, parking his car you went to open the door as words left his mouth before you could step one foot out of his car. “I know you probably don’t think I am sorry but I am, believe me if you want. I just want you to know that I am sorry for all of those moments when we were little.” You nodded at him so that way he knows you heard what he said, leaving his car. You thanked him as you waved him goodbye then walked into your apartment building, what Sunoo had said kept crawling back into your mind every minute about how Jay needed a place to live.

Seriously, who does this guy think he is? Does he really think a simple ‘sorry’ will make up for all of the pain and misery he put you through? Honestly he was the main reason you couldn’t stand going to school when you were younger.

Picking up your lunchbox as you placed it in your cubby in the classroom the teacher lines you all up in a single file line making you all walk out of the classroom one after another, one foot after the other you followed the girl in front of you. You never looked up at anyone, Jay always made you self conscious of looking people in the eyes or even looking up at their heads. He thought it was disrespectful. Whenever he was near you could easily tell it was him, he always wore the nicest shoes as they sparkled no matter how many times he went out to recess bringing them back in the classroom all dirty. The next day he would return with them freshly cleaned, seeing his shoes appear in front of your figure and your heart dropping down to your feet. Being in his presence even started to scare you because whenever he was near you knew he already knew what he was going to do to you, his body moved in front of yours stopping in your tracks in the middle of the hallway. His friends gathered around every open space around you making sure there was no chance of you running away from them, but that never stopped you. Picking your eyes up just enough to see an open space between Jay and his friend you started to pull yourself together hoping you would at least be able to run to the teacher hoping that she can protect you for now, starting to sprint your foot had gotten tripped by his shiny white shoes. His grasp on your shirt tightened as he flipped your body over to face him but he picked you up like you were nothing, not being able to look into his eyes. His aura screamed how confident he became in a matter of seconds as he saw blood starting to run down from your nose and onto your lips. Bringing his finger up to your lips he ran it over your upper lip catching your dripping blood on his finger, “Bleeding so easily? We haven’t even gotten to the best part yet.” he exclaimed with a smile on his face.

Stopping in your steps you stayed still on the stairs leading up to your apartment, no matter how hard you tried his words always haunted you even when you would sleep. Nightmares were the only thing you dreamt about these past few weeks. Last night was the only night you had finally gotten peaceful sleep, what if drinking helped these nightmares? Pulling yourself out of your thoughts you continued to walk up the stairs and into your apartment as you unlocked the door and walked in you placed all of the things you brought on the closest chair to you form the kitchen, signing to yourself while you opened your bedroom door you immediately laid down onto your bed laying face down as the pillow below your face engulfed you with its softness. Making you never want to leave your spot, your phone started to vibrate. You ignored it thinking it was just a text yet the vibrations did not come to an end after a second picking up your phone the number came up as unknown, it was probably a spam or prank call. Hanging up you placed your phone next to your relaxed state once more as you were about to let it go it started to ring once more in your hand, flipping it over as you can now read the number once more it came up as unknown again.

Finally swiping accept the call you placed your phone to your ear as you asked tiredly, “Hello?” static was heard from the other line till a familiar voice answered “You made it in okay?” sitting up you looked around confused wondering who was on the other line “Who is this?” a small chuckle was heard “It’s Jay I just-” “I made it in fine, thanks for asking.” not even letting him finish any of his upcoming sentences or statements you hung up the call laying back down onto your pillow once more, vibrations against your pillow made you groan loudly. Answering the phone you exclaimed loudly “What?” annoyance was clearly heard from your tone, “I was just wondering if you were going to Yuna’s.” rubbing your pointer and middle finger over your forehead back and forth “What are you talking about.” “Her birthday party, you going?” you whispered a short “Shit.” as you hung up the phone. You had forgotten about Yuna’s party tomorrow, grabbing your keys and zooming out of the door. You quickly rushed down to your car as you were going to the closest stores to buy Yuna her favorite things and put them together in a little basket. You had been planning this for a while. Feelings of disappointment filled your head as you could not believe you forgot about your best friend’s birthday, even though she told you not to get her anything you always loved giving things to people. Now this just gave you an event to actually use your love language without saying anything but rather showing in your action, pulling out your phone you went onto Yuna’s profile asking her if you can spend the night over hers so that way you won’t have to rush tomorrow to get ready for her party while she can help you.

yes ofc lmk when u on ur way

Quickly walking into the store you picked out her favorite candies and some of her favorite things, placing them into the bag you drove back home placing them into a cute decorated pink bag. Pink was Yuna’s favorite color, most of the things in the bag consisted of that color as well. Getting your sleepover bag organized you put in things you need at night into the bag such as your skin care, pajamas, and stuffed animal. Placing both the bags on your arms you locked up your house and shut off all the lights with your open hand, walking to your car you placed all of the bags on the passenger's side next to you making sure that they were secure in their places.

omw

You texted Yuna as you placed your phone into the cup holder closest to you as you put on your seatbelt then started up your car as she texted you back you quickly glared at the message as it read.

Starting to drive you couldn’t help but feel excited to spend the night at your friend's house, sure you were old enough to be making your own plans to hang out with her but it just felt like you were a little kid again, well minus the part of you driving yourself there. Growing up together meant that you were there for each other's accomplishments and were there for their fall outs, we were always there for one another even if we were in an argument we wouldn’t just leave eachother abandoned like that. Pulling into her driveway you saw her waving from her window causing a smile instantly to display on your face from her excited state, grabbing your things while shutting your car off. You took everything with you as you walked to the door locking your car just before she opened the door giving you a warm welcoming hug. Handing her the present in your hand she opened her mouth agape and slightly smirked to you, “I told you to not get me anything, but thank you.” she said, giving you yet another hug. Taking off your shoes at the door you both walked to her room as you placed your bag down on her floor next to her dresser as you plopped down on her bed as if it was yours, “How does your bed always feel better than mine.” she laid down next to you as you both stared at the ceiling “Nah, yours is way better.” turning to her then looking back you just stared at the ceiling for a minute before you asked her a question.

“Did you invite Jay?”she turned to you “No, Sunoo or someone else could have. I only invited some people over tomorrow.” you turned to her as you opened your mouth into the shape of an ‘o’ then nodded to her. “Why do you keep wondering about Jay, I thought you hated him.” “I do, I just don’t want to see him and he called me to ask-” she interrupted you instantly shooting up from previously laying down “Jay called you?!” she asked, all excited while inching closer and closer to you “Yeah?” you asked, confused, still laying down while staring at the ceiling. “I don’t think it's a big deal.” You asked her to lean up to look at her on your elbows looking into her eyes. The only thing that was shown on her face was her smug smirk being displayed and she started to slowly shut her eyes as her smile got bigger. “Why are you smirking like that, Yuna, do you not remember how he used to treat me? I can never think of him any different than the way he treated me.” her smirk started to slowly fade “I was there but honestly I think he changed. He wants to start over with you.” sitting up next to her you got up from sitting on her bed walking over to her make-up stand while grabbing a hair tie tying your hair up into a high ponytail, “What do you mean ‘start over’? You talk to him?” walking back over to sit next to her on the bed you she signed as you laid down getting under her blankets. “Not exactly but his actions speak louder, trust me Y/n.” You wanted to trust Yuna and start over with Jay, honestly you did but you always wanted to be Jay’s friend before he started to bully you. Ever since you were little the only thing you ever wanted was for people to genuinely like you not just because of your other friends but like you as an individual.

Jay made that goal harder than it had to be, he turned almost everyone against you. From a young age you learned that you were better off doing things by yourself while not trusting anyone as easily as you used to, Yuna and Sunoo were always there for you even if you didn’t need their help. “Actions? What do you mean?” She got into her bed under the covers with you as well, “Well do you remember that time during the reading group during middle school, or yesterday when you went to bed.” “Be more specific, yesterday? What happened yesterday?” she faced you looking into your eyes as a smile started to appear on her face “You remember you said how you remembered that someone brought you to the room you fell asleep in? Well that was Jay I was walking back from the bathroom as I saw him tuck you into the bed then kissing your forehead he whispered something but I couldn’t hear what he said. He just looked at you for a few minutes, his face looked like he was sad. I walked away then because I thought he was coming back out while later the whole night he started to act weird.”

Minutes passed as your brain was still processing how Jay was the person who helped you out when you were drunk, your mind started to wonder if Jay did start to change or if he didn’t change why was he acting this way to you. Why were his sudden characteristics changing towards you? Switch from bullying you to taking care of your drunk state. “And in the reading group you remember, don't you?”

Walking into the small classroom you recognized only a couple of people including Jay, Yuna was also in the class but the teacher had moved you both away from one another as you two were talking too much and ‘disrupting’ the class even though all you guys would do is sit around and read. Going to your assigned seat you sat next to one of Jay’s friends and in Jay’s group, the tables were moved into smaller groups so that you guys could have time to discuss what you had read. Jay’s friend knew just how to piss you off, being in a group with them was torture, you hated it and asked the teacher multiple times to switch you to another group but she came up with some lame excuse saying how you were just trying to get in Yuna’s group. “Alright everyone, go grab your books and start your independent reading, pages 32- 40 then discuss in your pods.” Getting up from your chair you waited in the line looking down not wanting to accidentally look at Jay’s friend or worse Jay in the eyes while grabbing your book, bending down to grab your book you accidentally grinding against Jay’s dick. Him being a middle school boy his hormones took over him as his dick started to become more clear than usual, he yanked off your sweater from your waist and tied it around his to hide his growing boner. “Miss can I go use the bathroom?” She looked up at him then at the table, “After you finish reading and discussing with your table.” he signed as he walked uncomfortably back into his seat as his cock twitched in his pants just by looking at you. He knew that you felt his dick rub up against you, his eyes could not leave his growing problem as his cheeks started to flush red. Minutes started to slowly go by while he sat in his seat trying his hardest to ignore the pain of his cock aching in his pants but no matter how much he tried to focus on the book in front of him his only thoughts were about bending you over the table and dry humping you till he cums in his pants.

At the time you never thought much of it because if something like that happened to you, you would’ve already been out the doir as your cheeks would flush with embarrassment. “What happened that day was an accident, ask him he would probably say how it was nothing.” Rolling over she had gotten up from her bed as she walked to sit informer of her mirror as she grabbed her skincare supplies while starting to do her night time routine, “Why don’t you ask him tomorrow.” walking over to her you sat up against the wall leaning on it as you both had a clearer view of one another “Plus that wasn’t the only time you gave him a boner." turning to her as your eyebrow cocked at her, she giggled at your confused state before finishing her sentence. “Last year? Junior year of highschool, seriously you don't remember?” She asked as her expression turned from calm to surprised while all of her attention turned to you, shaking your head while pouting playfully she turned her body to face you as she leaned in closer. “In chemistry, when the teacher paired you both up. Am I the only one noticing how much he gets turned on by you. It’s like whenever you're around, are you sure that he hates you?”

Rolling your eyes you thought to yourself a bit trying to remember that one time in chemistry that Yuna had been talking about but nothing came up into your mind, “I seriously don’t remember.” he huffed out air, taking in a big inhale before she started to talk almost as a way to prepare herself for what she was about to say. “When the teacher moved your seat to sit next to his, you sat closest to the windows as he sat next to you at the tables. He never paid any attention to anything he was teaching, I think you dropped something or got something up from the ground but whatever it was you reached down almost being inches away from his lap while the rest of the day he was all flustered. The tips of his ears turned red as he slightly blushed from that small interaction but during homeroom he asked to use the bathroom and didn’t come back till the next period as his face was red.” looking into her eyes you laughed to yourself as clips of the memories started to come back. “That doesn’t mean anything he could have just had to run and do something none of that means I gave him a hard on.” she smirked looking at you “I’m gonna go get food, want anything?” you asked her as you stood up while she nodded “A soda, please” one foot after the other you made your way to her kitchen, her house felt like your house. You were over her house more than you were over your own but she would always be over your house when you were home, sometimes she would just walk into your house grab a snack then leave. It never bothers you.

Honestly, you thought it was funny how comfortable she is around you. Rummaging through her fridge you found something that started to look appetizing, grabbing her soda as well as your snack then the only thing your mind kept thinking about was the point Yuna was trying to get across, why is she telling you all of this now? Why should you care? Walking back into her room you handed her the drink sitting in the same spot you were previously sitting in before you went to get your snack, opening your snack you started to eat it like you haven’t been fed in years. Your brain started to get fuzzy, thinking about absolutely nothing while your eyes started to feel heavier by the minute. Your eyelids felt like there was a magnet attached to them pulling your eyes down to close, your movements started to become more slow while your brain took a while to process any information Yuna had told you. “Girl, you can go to bed. I’m not stopping you.” Immediately shooting up from your spot you walk to her bed softly and slowly feeling like a sloth as you eventually reach her bed you laid down, shutting your eyes you instantly fell into dreamland. It was almost as if her pillow was infused with sleeping medicine that made you instantly tired, as you were fast asleep in her bed Yuna finished up her skin care checking the time, 1:34. She knew the day she had ahead of her tomorrow so she thought that she should join you in the bed and hopefully fall asleep fast.

Stirring from one side to the other your sleep was interrupted as the sun came in shining into her room as it reflected on her mirror and directly onto your eyelids, turning back around to the other side you tried to fall back asleep but your mind would not stop thinking about what Yuna had said about Jay. Butterflies start to roam around your stomach as the thought of Jay jerking off to you and thinking about you in that way made you more flustered than disgusted yet you had no idea why, you hated him for everything he had done to you but couldn’t help blush at the thought of him. Turning your head towards the side you saw Yuna’s sleeping figure turned towards the wall as you had the view of her back, seeing nothing out of the ordinary you turn back to face the other side of her room while continuing to think about him. Sighing to yourself you picked up your phone from the side table as you did not want to think about him anymore, hoping that your phone would distract you enough to get your mind off of him till tonight when you have to see him. Turning over your phone while looking at the notifications, one in particular caught your attention. It was a random number.

can’t wait to see u tn, i gotta tell u sum

Your face slowly started to show just how confused you were, texting the number back you waited for their response as it had been seconds for the waiting time.

who is this?

u didn’t save my number

im hurt y/n

soo.. u r

ur fav person ever, jay!

Thinking of what to text back nothing came into your mind, you just swiped out of his chat not even bothering to put him in your contacts. You didn’t want to have any more connection with him ever since Sunoo started to invite you to events where he was there, that should be enough for you. Of course he was the person who texted you, the one person you weren't trying to think about. Hearing a muffled groan from next to you it caught your attention causing you to turn over and face where the noise had come from, she looked back at you “Good morning.” her voice was still groggy due to her just waking up. A sudden rush of energy flowed over your body as you leaned your head on her chest, wrapping your hand around her as you squeezed her into the hug. “Good morning birthday girl.” Looking up at her she smiled at your excitement that radiated off of your body, she hugged you back as you got up from her bed placing your phone on the charger then heading downstairs to get breakfast. Before you went to the kitchen you asked Yuna if she wanted anything to eat “You hungry?” she nodded “Can you bring me some waffles?”

Walking down the stairs and into the kitchen you noticed the bottles of alcohol sitting on the kitchen island that weren’t there before, ignoring it knowing that the reason they were out was for later tonight but you walked over to the cabinets and started to make some homemade waffles, special for her. While waiting for them to cook in the waffle maker you cut up some strawberries and waited till the waffles were done, putting them on a plate and placing the strawberries on top of them. Her room was silent even a pin could drop and it would be heard looking into the room while walking over to the bed Yuna just stared up at the ceiling, “What are you doing?” you asked, handing her the plate of food “Just tired.” nodding to her she took the plate starting to take bites out of it as you continued to talk to her, trying to help her wake up. “Well you won’t be too tired later, I saw the surprise on the counter. Why do you have multiple bottles? I thought it was just a small group of people?”

-time skip-

A couple of people? Every room you would walk into was filled with people, you couldn’t even find Yuna no matter how hard you tried. You weren’t really the type of person to go out and party so this was definitely not your thing, walking through the ground of bodies grinding against one another you couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable just knowing the room you were in was filled with complete strangers to you. Vibrations from your phone in your back pocket startled you as you instantly pulled your phone out while looking at the contact, it was Sunoo. Answering the phone, putting it up to your ear you heard talking around him but it wasn’t the type of talking from inside the house rather a small group. You figured that he must be on his way with the other guys as they all would ride together so that way one of them could at least drive them all home safely, “We are almost there, can you wait outside?” thinking he was in person talking to you, you nodded and told him yeah then hung up. Making your way through the crowd of people you couldn’t help but feel claustrophobic with others bodies constantly on yours being pushed around because of them dancing or whatever they were doing, walking onto Yuna’s front lawn it felt way more refreshing than you thought. The fresh air running through your nose as the wind pushed your hair back giving you a nice breeze that felt amazing from previously being in a hot and enclosed house, a car stopped in front of the house as it let out all the boys. Sunoo took the longest as he was thanking the uber driver while paying him, the rest of the boys started to walk towards you except Jay as he waited for Sunoo. Jake walked by you and shook his hand on the top of your head making your hair all messy.

Thankfully Heeseung saw what Jake did and stopped in front of you as he fixed your hair, evenly spreading out the messy parts Jake had left. Heeseung moved to the side which gave you the perfect view to see Jay staring at you and Heeseung with an agitated expression on his face, making eye contact with him he immediately shot his head in Sunoo’s direction not wanting you to know that he had been staring at you both. The two men that waited by the car started to walk towards you, one with excited and happy emotions displayed while the other man’s face showed jealousy and annoyance, the excited man stopped in front of you giving you a warm welcoming hug while the other watched from behind the man. “You look great” He said pulling away from the hug, he wasn’t wrong. You wore a black mini skirt that fit perfectly around your waist which barely reached below your ass and you wore a leather black long sleeve that matched the skirt perfectly, “You do too.” he wore a old black concert t-shirt with a white long sleeve underneath as he wore dark green pants which pulled his whole outfit together. At the compliment he started posing as you took fake picture of him, he blew a kiss at the ‘camera’ then told you ‘see you in there’ walking into the house behind him which left you with Jay all alone on her front yard with radon people in the areas around you both yet they weren’t too close.

“You really didn’t know it was me?” Jay asked as he sat down on the steps leading up to the house, sitting down next to him as you left space in between the two of you. The silence was loud enough to hear a cricket till you started to answer his question “Well yeah, I don’t save your number.” you stared straight ahead while he turned to look at you “Why?” his gaze and tone softened. “Why do you think Jay?” Getting up from sitting next to him you left him sitting there as you walked back into the house and heading up to Yuna’s room, thankfully she had secured off the upstairs so that way no one would go up there not even the horny couples that would go to a bedroom to have sex. Walking into her bedroom you placed your phone on the side table as you grabbed the tv remote that was on her dresser, laying down in her bed getting all comfy you got under the blankets not even bothering to change or take off your makeup knowing that Yuna would pull you downstairs at some point. Clicking on the remote you started to play your favorite comfort show while turning up the volume to drown out the sound of people talking downstairs, as the tv he the volume loud enough to only hear your show you couldn’t hear the sounds of footsteps approaching her bedroom. You barely heard the knock. Till the second knock caught your attention, pausing your show you said “Occupied, go back downstairs.” The door started to open. Did you not hear me? I said-'' stopping mid sentence you faced the previously jealous and annoyed man, “Party is downstairs.” you said clicking play on the remote but before you could do anything else he pulled the remote out of your hand “Can we talk?” your face showed how confused you were “About?” he sighed while sitting on the edge of the bed causing you to sit up.

“I know you probably don’t care but I’m still going to say it just to let you know, you don’t have to accept my apology by the way, but I am really sorry for the way I treated you growing up. I was a dick and I just wanted to get your attention. Little did i know that type of attention would make you hate me, recently i started to regret it all because i started to notice how your demeanor was towards me rather than Sunghoon or Jungwon, hell any of them. I alway notice you staring off into some random corner as your eyes would start to water, not even being able to talk about anything I had done to you, you never bring it up. I always notice how you never look at me in the eyes like you’re doing now and I know it was because I would punish you if you did. Sometimes I wish I could just start over with you because maybe if i told you that i liked you or i wanted to be your friend maybe we would be as close as you and Sunoo, god don’t even get me started on him. I hate seeing you around him, or any guy. That's why I asked Jungwon to trick you with the motorcycle for a way to make you hate him and not me. But I could never do anything about it or I would probably just traumatize you more than I already have, anyways what I am trying to get at this whole thing is that ever since elementary school I always thought you were cute. The more I would pick on you the more my feelings grew, I never wanted to make you feel the way you did. I realized you felt that way because Sunoo told me and I will never forgive myself for what I did and neither should you. If I was in your shoes what i am saying would be going through one ear and out the other. Once again Y/n i am really really sorry, if you want me to leave you alone now i get it.”

Sitting there you tried to process every word he said but nothing he was talking about made sense in your mind, he started to get up from his seat but you grabbed his wrist stopping him tugging on his wrist to have him sit in the seat. Words tried to form but were only denied as you were not able to speak only allowing a small hum come out of your mouth, “Listen Y/n you don’t have to accept my apology or pity me, I can go and you won’t ever have to talk to you again if that’s what you want, I would do anything for you I just want to see you happy. I-” cutting off his words you placed your lips onto his, shutting him up. His eyes widened as he pulled you deeper into the kiss while his desperation for your lips started to show, he inched closer to you with every minute.

Pulling away to catch your breath he immediately and hungrily placed his lips back onto yours once he saw you breathe properly, his hand moved to the back of your head pulling you deeper into the kiss as he laid you down onto the mattress below the both of you. The hand in your hair started to slowly tighten while his other hand was rubbing your outer thigh, you grabbed onto his shirt using both of your hands as you pulled him in closer to you. His body heat radiated off of yours making the air in between the two of you hotter than normal, your hands continued to grasp onto his shirt until he pulled away from your body while he moved his hips closer to you his fingers fiddled with the bottom of his shirt. “Can I take it off?” He asked you nodded as he immediately started to pull off his shirt and toss it somewhere in the room, your lips felt hungry without his. Lips connecting once more every noise was drowned out, even the people talking downstairs the only thing you were focused on was the man above you as his cock rubbed into your clothed cunt. His hands moved from your hair to rest on your waist his breathing started to become heavy due to lack of oxygen from the both of you kissing. “Y/n what did I tell you about hiding-” The door opened as you tried your hardest to hide your face but nothing worded, Yuna had just seen you and Jay in this state. She is gonna tease you about this 27/4. She smirked to you as she winked “Continue, act like I wasn’t here.” quietly shutting the door behind her he slowly got up from previously hovering over you, he grabbed his shirt then started to put it back on you placed your hand onto his chest to stop his movements.

His eyes looked down to yours, you still couldn’t bring yourself to look into his eyes but he knew the effort was there. “You don’t want to stop?” Your hand continued to stay on his chest you couldn’t say anything, being too nervous you didn’t want to have sex with him just yet but you didn’t want him to leave your side. “We can, if you want to, don’t think about my pleasure, what do you want?” Smiling at his kind heartedly words you softly whispered “Don’t leave.” he nodded and laid down next to you, “If that is what you want, then I won’t” you placed your head onto his shoulders he rubbed your back. Smirking to yourself you remembered what Yuna had told you about what happened junior year, “Jay?” he hummed as he traced a figure eight onto your back “In chemistry during junior year Yuna said you got a boner because i picked up something off of the ground is that true? Or the time when we were in reading group and-” He cut off your words as he pulled your lips against one another using his index finger and thumb, “Yup, I remember…” his words started to become a stuttering mess as his nervousness started to settle in. “... Are those the only times she told you about?” your lips started to grin, his fingers let go of your lips as he waited for your answer. “Those weren’t the only times?” Even though you couldn't see his face you could tell by him stuttering his words that he was flustered, he started to wonder if he should have asked that. He stayed silent. “Jay? Those two times weren’t the only times I gave you a -?” Lips continued to stay on one another as blush started to grow across from one side of his face to the other, “No.” he whispered while turning away from your figure due to embarrassment.

A smile formed on your lips as you turned to face his chest drawing a flower on him as he continued to not look at you, the tips of his ears started to turn a deep pink giving away how his flustered state was being affected by you. “Tell me the other times, please.” You dragged out the last syllable to show your engagement to him, finally he slowly started to turn his head towards you ubt refused to look down at you. Grabbing the remote he pressed play on the show displayed in front of you two, you grabbed the remote out of his hand as you let the show continue playing but placed it on the bedside next to you. “Ignoring me?”

He proceeded to stay quiet while his eyes were focused on his hands, looking down they started to fiddle with one another while he placed both of his hands over his lap to cover his hidden bulge. Trying to keep his mind off of his own discomfort and desire to have you he watched the tv before you too, “Please talk.” as much as he wanted to act like you weren’t them here so his visible problem would go away he could never ignore your begs. “You never told me if you accepted my apology, you don’t have to if you don’t want t-” Cutting him off you placed your hand over his mouth as he continued to speak while the words muffled against your hand causing his lips to vibrate off your hand making you ticklish, snapping your hand away from his mouth a small giggle left your lips. “Did me kiss you not clear it up enough?” He smirked and looked at you which led to your eyes falling down to your lap out of force of habit, he noticed your motions as he placed his hand under your chin, lifting up your face that way you can look into his eyes. “From now on please look me in the eyes when I talk to you.” A smile formed on your face as blush ran from one side of your face to the other, a knock was heard from the door causing Jay to groan and whine from lack of privacy. “Who is it?” A drunken male voice was heard from behind the door while he stirred his words yet his voice sounded very familiar, Jay walked over to the door opening it just enough for you both the get a clear view of Jake whining at the door for you both to ‘come drink with him because he misses you both, but wait why were you both in the room alone together? WERE YOU GUYS F-!’ he screamed out loud as Jay quickly rushed to put his hand over Jake’s mouth to hush his words.

While Jake just melted into Jay’s touch, “You know for an area that is off limits a lot of people sure do ignore the signs.” he said turning towards Jake meanwhile he had a hug smile on his face as he blushed from the amount of alcohol he consumed. Jay turned around and poked his tongue into the side of his cheek; swirling it to his lips as he licked them giving them a clear and shiny shimmer, he put his hand behind Jake’s back; spinning him around so now he was facing the stairs. Bringing his hand up so you have a clear view of his fingers he moved his pointer finger in a ‘come here’ motion, following his instructions you got up pausing the show walking over to him he was already down to stairs as he made sure Jake wasn’t going to fall down. Looking down at him he actually realized you actually were looking into his eyes, his trace became trapped the more he looked into them he felt his stomach twist and turn just because of you.

One foot after the other you found yourself standing text to Jay as bodies filled the missing spaces giving you both barely any space to move, leaning his head down he rested his head on your shoulder as he turned his head towards the inside of your neck whispering “We should go find the others.” he placed his hands around your waist as he led you through the crowded rooms. His fingers rubbed against the fabric of your mini skirt while his thumbs went into the belt loops on your sides, walking in a room you see all of your friends huddled around one another in a circle. You grabbed his arms stopping you movements when you noticed them and moving his hands back causing him to let go of your waist, turning you face to the side you saw confusion displayed on his face you mouthed to him “I don’t want them to know, maybe if we hand out more we can tell them what is happening between us.” he agreed as he walked passed you and to the group of people on the couches, Sunoo saw you standing like a deer in headlights and waved you over to come to them. Smiling at him you walked over as Jay’s gaze wouldn’t leave your body the way your hips slightly swayed as you walked made him wonder how you would look riding him, moving in front of the men sitting on the couches you felt someone pull your wrist towards them making you fall onto their lap as their arms immediately wrapped around your waist giving you no way to get up being trapped in their arms. You turned towards the person and saw it was a Sunghoon, his bear hug felt ultimately comforting or maybe just being in his arms felt nice. All you knew was when you looked up if looks could kill Sunghoon would be dead, Jay’s eyes darkened as he watched Sunghoon touch all up on you like it was nothing meanwhile Heeseung noticed Jay’s gaze on Sunghoon as he brought up his hand in front of Jay’s eyes moving it up and down to pull him out of his trace. Jay turned towards Heesung “Welcome back, you staring at Y/n like that?” Jay rolled his eyes, annoyed “Mind your business.” shock filled Heesungs demeanor as he was not expecting Jay to be filled with rudeness by such a simple question.

“What’s up with you? Upset because she can't get your - wet.” Heesung laughed at his own comment as Jay’s aura tightened around him, his body radiated off anger, everyone around him could tell to leave him alone except for Heeseung because he always loved to push his buttons till he popped. “You would be surprised how easy she is, I mean just ask-''Jay gripped Heeseungs shirt pushing him up against the wall getting inches away from his face as his jaw clenched, everyone around stopped talking to look at the drama unfolding in front of them. “Come on man, you know I'm just kidding.” Jay rolled his eyes as the grip on his shirt tightened till his knuckles started to turn white “Just kidding? Don’t ever talk about a woman like that, no wonder you don’t have a girlfriend you would treat her like shit." Inching closer to his face “Especially if that girl is Y/n.” he moved his face back against the wall and started to falter from Jay’s appearance displayed on his face. Heeseung fought the urge to fight back knowing how angry Jay was would cause him to wake up with a black eye or a bloody nose, everyone in the room was looking at Jay and Heeseung. Jay let go of Heeseung pushing him back against the wall “Talk about her like that, I dare you.” he turned around and walked over to you stunned figure who was sitting in Sunghoon's lap, he grabbed your hand and pulling you outside to Yuna’s backyard but before he left the room he stopped in his tracks “Shows over.” then continued to walk out the door with your hand in his.

Shutting the porch doors behind him and leaning over the rail he let go of your hand while he took deep breaths, “What was that about?” you asked softly not wanting to set him off more than he already is he signed and turned to your clueless figure. “Just Heeseung being Heeseung. Don’t worry about it.” “It wasn’t just nothing if it made you react like that.” He shook his head looking back to the yard in front of him not being able to tell you that you were the reason he reacted the way he did, “I should go home, I feel terrible for do that on Yuna’s birthday.” he ran his fingers through his hair as he was propped up on his elbows “Don’t stress, i’m sure she will understand.” as he moved his hands threw his hair you noticed how his hair appeared to have a red tint to it. Pulling his hand away form his hair you inspected his hand only to be face with nails marks that started to bleed from his hands and down his wrists, “You’re hurt are you okay?” he looks down at his hand trying to slightly pull away from your grasp but you didn’t budge. “Come with me, I have stuff at my house to clean you up. Plus it with help your small wounds to not get infected.” Letting go of his hand you held his wrist as you told him to wait by the stairs as you ran up to Yuna’s room to grab your phone to text her and let her know ‘something came up and you need to stop home’, “I live not that far are you okay with walking there, Yuna picked me up.” He nodded as you both exited her house as the sound of music became more faint with each step you took, you picked up his hand grabbing your phone and turning on the flashlight to inspect it more. “Are you sure it doesn’t hurt?” He shook his head “My feet hurt though how much longer?” you laughed “You know you complain a lot, not that far i’m in that apartment right there.” pointing to the building next to the one you just walked by he nodded as a smile appeared on his face saying “Wow, this is my first time in the Y/n; her house.” he pretended to act like an excited fanboy while covering his mouth with his hands. You slapped him playfully as you opened the door to the back door of your apartment building, walking up the stairs you passed your neigh across the hall from you. “Y/n is this your boyfriend? He’s cute.”

You shook your head “No-” she cut you off giving you no time to say anything more “Who ever he is, don’t be too loud tonight we have to get some sleep.” she laughed and winked at you both before leaving. “Don’t mind her.” Walking up the stairs finishing your last steps as you both reached your apartment, unlocking my the door you let him walk in first as he stood out of the way looking around as he inspected the rooms around him. “So this is what your house looks like.” You nodded “Oh come in here.” pulling him into the bathroom as you pulled the toilet seat down having him sit on top of it as you grabbed your cut medicine out from under the sink, “Why do you have a glass shower door?” “Why not.” you shrugged as you sunk down to your knees sitting in front of him asking for his hand one at a time to make sure the medicine was on him. Standing back up you noticed how his hair hand blood smeared it in, “You have blood in your hair, you can take a shower and wash it if you want.” he nodded as you left the bathroom shutting the door behind you “Wait Y/n how do you turn it on?” he asked while taking off his shirt causing you to gulp down your saliva “Oh right.” walking over to the shower door you bent over not wanting to get the water on you as you turned it on grabbing his hand you brought him closer putting his finger run along the waters stream “Is that okay? or warmer?” “This is fine.” walking back out of the door in your peripheral vision of him taking off his pants leaving him in his boxers.

Time passed as you watched you phone as you waited for Jay to come back out so you could apply more medication on his wound since it likely fell off due to the water, “Y/n.” you heard him yell from the bathroom getting up from your seat on the couch and walking over to the bathroom you knocked and asked back “Yeah?” putting your ear close to the door you heard him ask “Where are the towels? and how do you shut this off?” Shit you forgot to show him. “The towels are under the sink on the right side and to turn the shower off you gotta-” He cut you off “Y/n can you just come in and do it instead of trying to complicate things.” gaining the courage to ask you started to twist the job opening the door as you faced away from him while you shielded your eyes, a laugh was heard from behind you “Now your scared to look at me naked, thought you were wishing to see me like this a couple hours ago?” his cockiness started to take over as you walked over to the sink crouching down to pick up the towel as you placed it on the counter. “Back up towards the wall i don’t want to accidentally touch you.” You asked still shielding your eyes from his naked body “And if i don’t?” you could hear his smirk as you opened the showers door only to shut it once more “Here just take the towel i’ll just take a shower too while you go and dry off.” grabbing the towel you put it out towards him but nothing happened, he didn’t grab it out of your grasp. “Why don’t you just come in? I’m still not done.” Placing the towel back on the counter you said “Well then i can wait till you a-” the sound of the shower door sliding open made your heart beat faster than ever as his wet hand rested on your shoulder he moved his hand lower and placed them on the button of your skirt.

“I can help you, it will be easier this way.” No matter what you tried to think no words formed, saying quiet he started to undo your skirt as you covered your face with both hands, once you were in your panties he backed up taking in a good look at you as his cock jumped at the sight. He grabbed your forearms to pull down your hands as he did you immediately shut your eyes as he took off your shirt, leaving you in front of him in your bra and panties. “Such a pretty body for such a beautiful girl.” He said as he kissed your temple while his fingers tangled in the back of your bra as he i clipped it making it collapse onto the floor, his free hand moved down to his cock stroking it slowly not even realizing that you got him unintentionally hard. He cursed under his breath as he started to strip you from your panties as well leaving you completely naked in front of him, “You know to get in the shower you have to open your eyes right.” peeking through your squinted eyes you saw his chest shining from the wetness of the water glistening against the light from above. Not even daring to look down you walked into the shower as he followed, facing the water you get yourself all wet “Can you had me the shampoo?” you asked pointing to the bottle behind him while he nodded in response, as he was about to hand you the bottle he pulled it away. “Let me do it.”

Turning your back towards him he stepped closer and closer as he almost touched you while he flipped the bottle of shampoo over and placing some on your head, putting the bottle back he started to rub in the shampoo in your hair causing your eyes to roll back from such pleasure. You had to admit that Jay’s head massages were way better than Yuna’s but she didn’t have to know that. A soft noise fell from your lips as you felt something hit the bottom of your back, knowing what it already was Jay knew that you knew and immediately started to apologize. “I’m sorry, I can’t help it you just look so fucking and I couldn’t control it but-” Turning around placing your lips on his you felt his cock run up against your pussy lips as he started to hump in between your thighs, washing out the shampoo you leaned you head back till you couldn’t feel it anymore. His lips needed more of you. Desperate for you. Every touch you placed on his body sent a shiver through his spine, the pain in his body was the ache from his cock desperately needing to be inside you. He has used his hand to the thought of you multiple times, thinking of the way you would tease his cock as your finger would tease his tip. His lips moved down to your neck which would for sure leave some red and purple marks on you tomorrow, his face started to heat up causing blush to appear across his full face. Groaning against your skin he pulled his cock out from your thighs while he started to jerk himself off with fast and steady movements, pulling away you watched him jerk himself off as he looked at you look at him. He was mesmerized by you. The way you could just look at him which would cause him to meet into your grasp, running his finger along his tip he threw his head back while he let go of his cock and brung up his hand that was previously jerking himself off, to your mouth. “Spit.” He demanded, following his orders you gathered spit in your mouth as you let it roll off your tongue and down your lips, if he wasn’t on the verge of cumming already he is now.

Placing his spit filled hand back on his cock you could hear the slush and wetness it created, “Y/n, I need you, please.” he asked with pleading eyes looking down at you. You brought your hand to his cock jerking him off instead of him doing it “Be more specific, Jay.” you stated looking up at him while a whine fell from his lip “Need to be inside you so bad.” bringing your fingers to your cunt you stuck to fingers inside of you finger fucking yourself for a minute as he watched with his cock in his hand, taking your fingers out you brought your fingers to his lips as he immediately grabbed your wrist pulling your hand closer so that way he could fully grasp you. With every lick his cock would twitch due to lack of being touched while reviving this much pleasure untouched, “You have any condoms?” he asked looking around “I don’t think so, just fuck me Jay I need you so bad.” with that he had you leaning forward with your hands in front of you as you pushed against the wall while bending over, he ran his tip along your folds as he saw his reddened tip glisten with your pussy juices. Starting to enter your cunt inch by inch a moan would fall from his lips, it wouldn’t even be a small and soft moan it was a airy but genuine moan. Bottoming out inside you he wanted you to adjust to his size but he couldn’t wait as long as he wanted, being inside of you without moving was killing him slowly.

He wanted to move, he needed to. “Can I move Y/n?” Nodding at him he instantly started his movement short and slow letting you ease into the pleasure as the pain from his cock would soon be filled with pleasure, his hands moved to your waist as his thrusts started to be filled with more desperation than before. His groans and your low whines filled the steamy room, the hot water mixed with both of your body heats colliding with one another caused you to have sweat dripping down the side of your face while the water still splashed against Jay’s back. Fucking yourself back on him he felt your movements bent down to your ear “Such a desperate little thing, fuck I can’t wait to feel more of this pussy.” moaning in response he returned to his original stance as his thrusts were more powerful and stronger than before as they were shallow but not anymore. “Feel so fucking good.” He moaned through his gritted teeth, his climax was not that far from him. Usually it would not take him this quick to cum but his desire of you fucking him and your tight pussy gripping his cock was not helping him keep his load in, bringing your hand down to your clit you started to rub it sending immediate more pleasure than ever. You felt like your brain was in the clouds. His cock hit every right space as it kissed your g- spot sending you into a pleasure comma, feeling his cock twitch inside you while his hands gripped your hips harder you could tell his climax was about to hit him as well. “Y/n-n gonna cum, c-cum w’it me.” His voice was shaking as his pronunciation changed from normal to more fucked out, nodding to him again you commented “M-me to-o, so good J-jay. Fuck me h-harder.” hearing you say his name so lewdly sent him over the edge. Pulling out he shot his cum on your back as you continued to come down from your high as you rubbed your clit, turning around to face him he brought you into a hug while you shut the water off. Steeping out of the shower you grabbed another towel to dry yourself off with he brought his towel up to your hair and ruffled it causing most of the water to come off in the towel, wrapping a towel around yourself he had gotten dressed and welled into your room as you picked out your pj’s he watched you. He could stare at you forever. “Can you turn around?” He laughed “I was just inside you, and you want me to turn around?” you nodded at him as he obeyed turning around to face your bed while you got changed behind him. Walking over to your bed you laid down with him as you laid your head on his chest as his heartbeat southed any pains that came your way, “Next time, I want to fuck you while you look me in the eyes.” turning your head up to look at him you nodded while snuggling deeper into his warm body.

#smut #fluff #enha x reader #enhypen smut #heeseung smut #jake smut #jay smut #jungwon smut #sunghoon smut #sunoo smut

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itsnevercasual · 9 months

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Look Into His Angel Eyes

pairing: harry styles x zoologist!youtuber!reader

summary: harry takes his niece to the san diego zoo, and you just so happen to take care of the animal she’s obsessed with. koalas.

warnings: zero knowledge of zoology LMAO, not edited, a few curse words

—

harry had expected a lot more fuss when he went to a very famous, very popular zoo. he expected at least someone — one person! — to notice him or recognize him.

nobody had even given him a second glass.

those kids movies were right. change your har (put on a beanie) and wear sunglasses (because even if it was a little chilly, it was bright), and you were a whole different person!

well, until gemma’s little girl, rosie, who was usually a gem and the best kid ever, started crying. over what, you may ask?

she demanded they find the koalas.

granted, she was only five, but.. he was still worried people would see him and recognize him.

when he had graciously offered to drive rosie to san diego to go to the zoo because gemma simply didn’t have the time, he forgot it was a public, normal people zoo.

so, he asked someone where the koalas were (and then four more people after that on the way there, all of which informed him that he better hurry if he wanted to catch the koala talk, which was supposedly a big hit for some reason), and made his way to the other side of the zoo.

who the hell made this place so big?

—

you’d been living in san diego for five years, since you were eighteen. you’d been working with the koalas at the san diego zoo for that same amount of time.

18 and fresh out of high school, you moved far, far away from your horrible hometown and even more horrible people, and went to san diego to both go to college for zoology and work your dream job.

well, technically, it was an internship at first, but still!

like most little girls, you were obsessed with animals. however, instead of dogs or some other basic animal (though, koalas are still pretty basic, you suppose), you were obsessed with koalas. and then, it never went away.

your mother tried anything to talk you out of it, into a safer career path, she’d say. more secure.

well, fuck secure because you were about to go talk to little kids who were just like you when you were younger and feed a baby koala.

you had also started a successful side career as a youtuber. you made regular videos like vlogs and hauls and whatnot, and also educational videos about koalas. some of your vlogs were at work, such as today.

“so.. we have jess here to record as i do a koala talk. and.. it is officially 1:30, so let’s go!” you exclaim, handing your coworker, jess, the camera.

you pushed open the door (more like gate) and walked out. there was a fairly large crowd today, including the cutest little girl with a pink dress on right in the front row.

you set the crate (don’t yell, it’s a big crate. and it’s simply to take them from their exhibit to the talk area, which is a distance of maybe 50 feet) down on the wooden table.

the talk area was pretty much their enclosure, but instead of a glass wall, it was open and the kids could see better.

you opened the crate and slowly coaxed the bears out. you’d only brought two today. mila, and her baby charlotte (you always called her charlie, though).

once they were out and climbing on the branches, you turned to the crowd.

“hi, guys! my name is y/n, and i’m basically in charge of the koalas here! who here has been to one of my talks before?”

a few hands raise.

“good! well, today, we have a new guest… who remembers what was happening with mila last talk? was anyone there?”

one little boy raised his hand.

“yes, the.. little boy in a blue shirt?”

“jackson!” he told you.

“jackson, sorry. what was going on with mila? for everyone who doesn’t know, mila is that big one right there.”

“she was— she had a baby in her tummy.”

“she did!” you respond enthusiastically. “and a few months ago.. four months ago, actually, she had her baby! who wants to meet her?”

all the little kids screamed me! me! me!

you laughed, “alright, let me grab her.”

you walked over to mila, petting her head as you slowly took charlie away.

“hey, mila.. can i take her real quick?” you ask as if she can hear you, before speaking to the crowd. “mila and i have a special bond, if you ask me. she had her baby right around the time i had mine. so we are both new mothers,” you laugh. “but, anyway! i’ve been with mila since she got here, so she really trusts me. which is why i can easily just..”

you grabbed charlie off of mila, and put her on her shoulder like you did your baby.

“so, everyone, this is charlotte, but i call her charlie! now, i have a very special job for one of you.. but i need someone who will be very careful, because charlie is still a delicate baby.. can anyone hold her for me while i feed her?”

and finally, the adorable little girl interacted. she started jumping and raised her hand.

you walked over to the fence separating you from the crowd, crouching to be eye level with her. “and who might you be?”

“rosie!” she responded. and oh, she had a baby voice and she was british.

“rosie! well, do you think you can hold her for me?”

“yes! yes, please!”

“alright, we’ll get you and dad back here—“

“ehm.. uncle..” her uncle, not father, responded in a british accent.

“oh, sorry! you and your uncle back here. and what’s your name, rosie’s uncle?”

he hesitated, before— “harry.”

your brain slowly put two and two together as you glanced at his tattoos.

harry styles.

“oh, i see,” you respond, “well, let’s get you guys back here!”

you opened the gate they were thankfully standing right in front of, and they walked into the talking area before you shut the gate.

you led rosie to the center, crouching down to her again.

“alright, we’re gonna do this in a funny way. can you stick out your arm for me?”

she did.

“i’m gonna put charlie on your arm, alright? she’s gonna wrap herself around it, and her claws might scratch you, but it’s fine, yeah?”

“yes, ma’am!”

“aw, you’re so polite. alright.. charlie incoming!”

you slowly adjusted charlie to curl around rosie’s arm.

“it tickles!” she squeals with a laugh.

“yeah?” both you and harry — harry styles — respond at the same time.

“alright, i’m gonna grab her bottle! stay here!”

you ran over to grab it, and while you were shaking it so it was ready, you felt something wrap around your leg.

“hi, mila!” you exclaim to the koala wrapped around you.

you carefully walk back over.

“i’m gonna feed her for a minute, and then i’ll let you and your uncle try, yeah?”

“okay!”

you started feeding charlie as you spoke again.

“so, the reason we feed charlie instead of having her feed from her momma, who is clinging to my leg, is because charlie was born a little early and needs a little more nutrients!”

you talked a little more about koalas and their behavior before rosie wanted to feed her. and after a few minutes of that, you glanced to harry.

“you wanna give it a go?”

“sure, why not,” he shrugs.

“charlie seems pretty cozy.. so, i’ll give you mila. she’s a little heavy, though.”

you bent over and took mila off your leg, handing her over to harry.

“hold her like a baby on your hip.. it’s kinda like a.. odd hug! a koala hug, if you will. i’ll grab her bottle.”

you ran over, and when harry began feeding her after you returned, he asked a question.

“so.. why do y’feed mila? i know charlie’s a baby and all, but..”

“that’s a very good question! so, mila is getting a little old, and she was also brought to us injured. that, paired with giving birth four months ago, we just have to give her some more electrolytes… her bottle is actually just white gatorade. we tried green, but she hates it. she’s very picky.”

“well, that’s cause y’gave her green.”

“hey! who has the degree here? yeah, shush.”

“yes, ma’am,” he laughed.

—

once the talk was over, you told rosie and harry to stay back.

you let charlie and mila climb about the branches while you spoke to them.

“i just want to make sure you both are alright with being in a video.. also, you need to wash your hands.. jess should be back with the sanitizer soon.”

“can i ask what video?”

“oh! right, sorry. i’m a youtuber, and i sometimes film my talks to publish and whatnot. i’ll blur your faces, of course. i blur everyone in the crowd’s faces for privacy reasons, but i figured you’d be.. more.. concerned about that than most.”

“you know?”

“i mean.. voice is a giveaway.. i also follow gemma’s instagram, so i recognized rosie,” you shrug. “but anyways, you’re good with the video?”

“yeah, of course.”

you then turned to rosie to answer her bajillion questions about koalas until jess came back with the hand sanitizer.

“so, just use a lot of this, and you’ll be good,” you explain, putting a few pumps into each of their hands.

once they were all clean of koala germs, you told them they were free to go.

rosie ran forward, but harry lingered.

“thank you,”

“oh, yeah. of course. i figured you wouldn’t want koala germs—“

“no, i mean thanks for giving rosie that opportunity.”

“oh! of course. i love seeing little kids who love them as much as me.”

“she’s bloody obsessed with the things.”

“mm, yeah. they’re easy to love. word of advice, don’t shoot her love for them down. it doesn’t exactly work. i mean.. look at me,” you laugh.

“i will keep that in mind,” he smilez. “what was your name again?”

“y/n.. y/n l/n.”

—

a/n: enjoy

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles fic #harry styles oneshot #harry styles imagine #harry styles au #harry styles fluff #harry #styles #harry fic #harry styles one shot

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council-of-beetroot · 4 months

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As we see an increase in antisemitism I have reflected on my experiences how many years ago being the token Jew in my eighth grade English class and I have found some aspects about it which lead me to believe are the parts that Holocaust Education in the U.S. goes wrong

Being taught in English Classes

Often such as in my state, the Holocaust is taught as part of English curriculum. English teachers aren't history teachers and they may be lacking in the skills or knowledge required to teach in the necessary depth to discuss the Holocaust.

My mother used to teach English but she had a history degree as well. She would lecture in class about everything leading up to and during WWII. I remember reading handouts she had in her classroom while I was waiting after school about the history of antisemitism. I didn't have any of this in my English class unit, because to put it simply most English teachers aren't my mother who also has the prior knowledge of how to teach history.

Additionally, as it is part of English, there is often more focus on Holocaust literature rather than the topic itself

This is where I think it gets extremely flawed if a person's primary knowledge of a historical period is Anne Frank or the incredibly inaccurate boy in the striped pajamas. A single account or work of complete fiction shouldn't be your main lens to view any topic whether it's the Holocaust, Slavery, Civil Rights movement etc.

You're in short blurring fact and fiction when discussing these things in the context of literature.

Sense of Finality

I feel like in my classes at least there was this idea that was kind of implied that hatred of Jews began and ended with Hitler and the Holocaust. I think this leads to misconceptions about antisemitism.

I feel this is a problem as I remember mistakenly getting that takeaway in school regarding civil rights in America. It was taught that Slavery was a problem, emancipation proclamation, MLK said I have a dream, and the civil rights act was passed and bam no inequality or racism. Later on, I fortunately learned this was flawed for many reasons. But not everyone does.

Not teaching about how the Holocaust happened

If you aren't given the knowledge of how centuries of hatred lead up to the Holocaust, I feel the main takeaway becomes that it was almost a random occurrence.

Many learn the Holocaust is bad without learning the signs of thinking that can lead neighbors to kill neighbors.

So many people don't have the basic facts such as Hitler being elected rather than assuming power.

I think when you learn of an atrocity of such scale without learning the human beliefs that brought about it, you have learned nothing.

I had a girl in my college uni class who was shocked when I said that antisemitism didn't begin and end with Hitler. I can see where she would get this idea if I at ten figured that racism ended with MLK.

Using Simulation

Slavery and the Holocaust should probably not be taught using roleplay. It usually goes poorly and you can find dozens of examples of how this goes wrong.

Sanitizing History

Exactly what it sounds like. But it's a major problem in general with history education in the US. I think we downplay westward expansion, and slavery in the us. When we downplay those it's easy to see how some begin to downplay the Holocaust.

We had a kid faint on the trip to the Holocaust memorial at some of the images. I think it was because they were inadequately prepared to see the horrors in image, my teacher didn't show any pictures in class.

Final notes

I don't blame teachers. Teacher's jobs fucking suck from what I've seen and many don't have the skills or resources or experience. I guess for now I think it's good to recognize those holes in our education and fill them ourselves through self education and life long learning

With the current political atmosphere of education of the unpleasant or difficult to discuss parts of history, i can only see things getting worse if we don't change anything. But like I said in the absence of a solid education which discusses these topics, it's important to educate ourselves and confront our lack of knowledge.

#tw shoah #tw holocaust #jumblr #feel free to add on with your school experiences #especially if you're jewish

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bucknastysbabe · 7 months

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Hi I got an ask about subby Criston and I’m here to fill it but I accidentally deleted the ask itself. So I hope you see this😭😭I kinda went cuckoo bonkers word to Wyn but anyways! Pookie bear cries and nuts like 40 times🧸🧸

Knock ‘em out - C.Cole

Rating: Explicit

WC: 3k

Tags: Boxer!Criston, Manager!Reader, Criss priss prob needed to be in an institution but now gets paid for beating ass, a little bit of manipulation from reader, marathon sex, overstimulation, sub space, soft domme, 🚨CRISTON BIG ASS PRAISE KINK🚨, he’s puppy your honor, Dom/sub, sub drop, aftercare, pnv!sex, multiple orgasms, intercrural sex, cumming in pants, lil bit of background story but mainly P O R N

Taglist: @aemonds-holy-milk @arcielee @sugarpoppss2 @lovelykhaleesiii @starogeorgina @moncherrii @bambitas @targaryenbarbie @fairysluna @thought--bubble @fallingintoyourlilaceyes @gemini-mama @valeskafics

Thanks @tumblin-theworldaway for helping my mind crank up heheheheeh

Criston knew he was off— something never wired right in his brain. Most people would interview him and see the rags-to-riches story. He came from trash, really, his dad was the janitor at the big boxing gym in the city. Coach Dondarrion told people they let Criston train for free as his father worked so tirelessly.

In reality, he couldn’t stop getting into fights at school. It was unchecked anger growing out of control. Criston’s mother and father begged Dondarrion to take him on and help channel that aggression. It likely saved his life. He was only 10 and beating kids’ faces in over slights— imagined or real. He was horribly possessive, jealous, and lost. Boxing seemed to put a lid on that.

Occasionally he’d have to be ripped off an opponent. Whispers of Criston Cole being a psycho were rampant. He was twenty-three when he got his current manager. She worked miracles. His everything— Criston loved the woman so much that sometimes it hurt his head, thoughts too intense to siphon through.

He’d known her from the Blackhaven gym, she was a daughter of Coach Swann and knew the realm of boxing pretty well. Coach Dondarrion brought her into the picture when Criston almost killed a man in the ring.

She didn’t bat an eye when Criston snarled and tried to intimidate her— only cocking her head and snorting like he was an unruly animal. He’ll never forget the words she said after. It was a shift for the boxer.

“Do that again and you won’t fight this week. I’m in charge now. You’re my prize pet. If you want to keep being a prize pet then you’ll listen to me,” she stated, manicured nail poking his chest.

The bigger man still had no clue what came over him, but her words were like a balm. This was what Criston needed— firm orders and guidance. He hoped at the time she could help him with all the mess in his head. Criston nodded and replied, “Yes ma’am.”

“Good boy. Let’s come up with some rules. You like rules don’t you?”

No unnecessary jabs, no yelling, work on riding the bike and going through footwork, and no cumming until he had won.

Those were the rules before a fight. Criston abided by them religiously. Even if he was like a caged animal towards the lead-up to the big event. He would feel himself grow more and more agitated— actively restraining from ripping his opponent's jaw off. Cole probably looked psycho, with dark eyes intense, jaw clenching. But his expression remained eerily placid. His manager liked that and said she could smell the fear off the other guy.

Criston remained undefeated, she must be right he thought. Coach Dondarrion said Swann was a goddamn genius. She was perfect like that. He hated she wouldn’t go public with their relationship, Criston would wind himself up into an obsessive tizzy over it.

But when he won again, and again, she was there to take care of him. They’d get through the usual press, Criston would shower, and they’d ride back to the hotel together. The air was charged in the back seat. She’d slapped his wandering hands away the first couple of times.

Now he knew to stay put and she’d tend to his face or scratch his hair, careful of any knots and bruising. It felt so fucking good the first time she touched him, he had cum in his sweats before even reaching the hotel. Whining and writhing as she cooed and put ice on his black eye or taped a busted nose— he couldn’t remember exactly.

His manager had cooed in surprise when he seized up and gasped, wetting the inside of his briefs, “Oh, baby? You came? Needed that, didn’t you? Criston Cole, my prized pet, big bad man, didn’t know you liked being loved on. You deserve it, baby, I’m here for you, always.”

Her words had simultaneously embarrassed and made Criston want to kneel at her feet, awaiting her next command. He remained quiet, cheeks flushing heavily, worried internally his nose would start bleeding. Swann curled at his side and stroked his messy curls.

“Don’t be ashamed, you deserve to feel good. ‘Sides I know you have more to go, gotta be pretty full from going a week. You want me to take care of that, empty you out?”

Criston gritted his teeth and whined. He wanted it so bad. The demon in his head teased and prodded him, spitting lies. “She thinks you’re a weak little bitch, you really gonna spread your legs and bare your neck like a slut?” the voice said. He moaned softly, pained from the dissonance.

His manager whispered gently, a small hand rubbing soothing circles on his chest.

“Criston, baby, stop thinking so much, and let me do it for you.”

He melted into her warm embrace, the proposition flicking on a switch he didn’t know existed. She smiled as he slurred out a ‘yes’ and went lax under her palms. Criston didn’t know at the time— that submitting completely to another made his mind stop for a bit.

He was euphoric, eyes focused on her as they entered the hotel. She waved off any reporters and led him by the hand. Criston clung to her like a needy child in the elevator, his cock swelled up again. The manager let him rut a bit on her tight skirt and giggled at his desperation.

When they finally, finally gotten to the room— she stripped Criston down and made him cum until he cried, all the adrenaline sapped out of his body. He lost count of how many times her mouth and hand brought him to completion. He got to float in his head, tongue too thick and limbs too heavy to do anything but whine and be coddled.

Criston woke up later as a new man. He felt he could breathe. Then the games began as his record kept going up, Cole escalating to the fucking top. He didn’t know what to do with all the money except buy his family a house and Swann anything she desired.

He’d won again. Shaking his fist and snarling obscenities at Strong on the ground. He’d get another fuck-ton of money and go home happy. He’d picked up the belt and grinned, elated at his thirtieth win. On the top of the world.

Criston’s mind began to whirl as he stalked down the hallway. He briskly showered and answered a couple of questions to the press. She waited to the side, sinful red lips curled upwards. Swann was wearing the red bottoms he bought her, pretty legs shown off in her little dress and blazer.

When she nodded toward the exit he followed, agitated at the annoying reporter still asking questions. Criston didn’t want to upset her, so he kept his mouth shut and followed along, pulling his hoodie up. His balls fucking throbbed. He wanted to fuck his angel so bad, maybe she’d let him on a special occasion like this.

He got into the dark luxury vehicle, inhaling her sweet scent. Criston was close to getting feral, mouth watering at the possibilities. Still, he remained mute. Until she shifted, facing him in the dark, eyes full of affection. Criston couldn’t help the thin whine that burst from his chest at her attention.

“Look’it you. Took down Breakbones, got thirty wins, fucking hell baby,” she drew closer to him, “Criston Cole, you’re the real deal! You wanna fuck me, baby boy? I think you’ve earned it.”

“Pleaseplease, yes, fucking yes,” he pled.

A stagnant pause fell over the back of the car.

“Thank you,” he moaned, “Thank you.”

“Good boy, don’t forget your manners.”

She placed a warm hand high on his thigh, massaging the sore muscle. Her other palm caressed Criston’s patched-up cheek. She hummed “A kiss?” He nodded eagerly, vibrating in place, adrenaline still coursing through his veins. But Criston knew he had to be her good boy.

The woman softly pecked his lips, pulling back to watch Criston chase with a sad noise. She smiled and kissed him again, deeper this time. He eagerly opened his mouth for her, shivering as her nimble tongue playfully lapped at his own. Criston’s hands balled up in his sweats— no touching, no touching unless given permission.

Their lips wetly smacked in the dark car, her hand moving up to rub maddeningly at his straining cock. Criston cried out into her mouth, hips bucking helplessly. She laughed and nibbled on his shapely lower lip, hand squeezing his manhood.

“S’all mine isn’t it? My cock, just for me.”

He nodded in misery, his body wanted to let go, but it was a bit of a process to get Criston in the headspace he wanted. She knew how to get him there. Like her lips against his ear, tits pressed against his chest as she purred, “Easy love, relax, I’ve got you honey.”

“Mmm- gods, need it,” he gritted out, dark eyes lolling.

As her firm hand jerked him over the sweats, Criston’s manager nipped and kissed at his clean-shaven cheeks and neck. She whispered, “Sweet boy, I know you are s’hard, relax, relax, you’re gonna get to cum all night baby. As much as you want, just gotta let go okay?”

She praised and played with him some more, Criston began to pant hoarsely, thighs shaking as he neared the precipice. She tutted when the car stopped, “Get yourself together baby, we’re here now.” He blinked, a tear falling down his cheek, bewildered by the way she left him.

He was so fucking close! The boxer sulked and groaned at his denied orgasm, eyes watery from how intense his balls were throbbing now. He wiped his eyes and pulled the hood of his sweatshirt up again, keeping his head low. He hoped the half-assed tucking of his hard-on worked.

They walked in sync to the elevators. He sulked, “M’so hard it hurts.” Criston’s girl pouted her lips, patting his cheek, “I know, I know sweet boy, but we can’t keep the driver waiting. Almost there, don’t be so needy.”

Criston wrapped his arms around her waist, tucking his face into her neck. He would be good, he wouldn’t hump or bite. He merely wanted to hold her for a second before the elevator dinged. Swann hummed and nuzzled back into his hair.

Onward they went, Criston’s mind growing fuzzier and fuzzier as his body thrummed with need. Upon entering the penthouse suite— her entire demeanor changed. She snapped, “Go get undressed and kneel for me by the bed.”

He nodded in little jerks, undressing and folding them neatly, just how his mistress liked. Criston shuddered as the cool air hit his cock, swallowing heavily as he knelt before the foot of the bed. His hands shook with need, his adrenaline still thrashing and pumping underneath the skin.

He was downright panting by the time she came out of the bathroom, naked as he was. Criston bit on his lip, eyes watering again. The angel laughed, “You sure are worked up tonight.” She padded behind Criston, winding a hand into his hair, eliciting another agonized noise from the boxer.

“You are so damn talented, the Warrior smiles on you. I’m proud.”

“Thank you, thank you ma'am,” he whispered.

“I’m going to get on the bed and you’re going to fuck all that energy and cum out okay?”

“Yes ma’am- ohmygods.”

Criston’s brows pulled together as she laid before him, legs crooked and spread, her cunt shining with slick. He growled, digging his nails into the skin of his thigh. She crooked her fingers playfully, “C’mon baby, you’re allowed to touch. Use me, my special pet earned it.”

He almost felt bad in the way he roughly had pulled her ass flush to his hips, the flesh smacking loudly. Criston had eagerly gotten on his knees in the center of the soft bed, slotting his swollen cock against her slick pussy. “F-fuck, fuck, gonna use you baby, ’m sorry,” he gritted out. She smiled and shrugged, moaning as he rutted against her a couple more times.

Criston’s dark eyes rolled up as he entered her velvet cunt, warm and sososo tight. He snarled as he snapped his hips into his baby. She was crying out and digging sharp nails into his shoulders. Cole knew he was lost in the feeling, rasping and groaning possessive, ugly things he would never say out loud.

But when legs were wrapped around his waist and she was mewling his name? Criston had lost his firm barriers. He rumbled into her ear between kisses and bites, “My godsdamn pussy, mine, you’re mine, I’ll f-fucking kill anyone who touches you, looks at you, gods I’ll do anything!”

He groaned, balls drawing up quicker than expected. She was crying out “Yes! yes! All yours!” Criston sucked in a wet breath at her neck, hips driving into her at a breakneck pace, hands bruising her pretty skin. He choked on his drool, unable to warn her— Criston’s orgasm was that intense.

She tightened around him when his cock flooded, absolutely flooded her pussy. Criston moaned and clenched his jaw, fucking through the oversensitivity. His girl dug her heels into his ass to spur him on. The boxer swallowed down a little mewl. Everything was still so swollen, he had to keep fucking, keep cumming.

“Mmm, yes! Don’t stop baby, oh Criston!”

“I-I am, fuuuck, g’nna fill you up again!"

He drove his hips upward, lifting her hips so that Criston could get at her g-spot. She raked a bloody mark across his back, gasping in delight. He rambled while thumbing desperately at her clit, “Yeah, yeah, feel s’good, cum on me baby, need to feel you, m’close again!”

Criston wasn’t sure if it was her gorgeous wail or her pussy gushing on his cock or both but he came again. She chose to mouth at his lips, shaky legs clenching around him, hand pulling the hair at the nape of his neck. Meanwhile, he whined Swann’s name, the quickness of his second orgasm turning Criston’s brain into jello.

The slick noises between them were loud and sloppy, he was stuttering and whining. She threw her pretty head back and moaned. Criston was finding words hard. He kept fucking and fucking. She felt too good and he had so much cum for her.

“That’s it, keep it up,” she grunted.

Criston slurred, “Ca-can’t stop, can’t, can't!”

He felt his eyes grow wet as his overstimulated cock was gripped and milked by her cunt. The angel, his angel, wrapped her arms around his sweaty neck, his hips forcing little 'uhs' out of her plush lips. Criston blabbered uselessly, words bordering on sobs now. It felt too good, the pain and pleasure were ecstasy to him. He bottomed out inside her, stopping to mewl long and high before returning to feverishly thrusting again.

“Oh, oh, angel- hurts- s’good ohmygods your pussy, gotta cum again, m’sorry m’so sorry!”

She nuzzled at his jaw, moaning, “It’s okay, doing so good for me, needy baby. You needed this, poor baby’s balls are so full.”

“S’full,” he agreed, mindless and shivering.

Criston’s thighs began to twitch as he felt another wave cresting. He practically wailed as the third peak licked up his spine— white hot and mean. She gasped, nails digging into his flanks, pussy pulsing around another load of Criston’s molten cum.

He was a mess, wordless and drooling. Criston began to move again, gaze unfocused and mouth agape. He whimpered, all overstimulated and still fucking frantic. Criston felt like he’d die if he didn’t stop, tears pouring down his flushed cheeks.

Her hands held his face now, her lips saying something. Criston slowly cocked his head, attempting to understand his manager’s words. She said it again, this time louder with a smack to his cheek. Criston stopped his movements, protesting with a weak noise.

“Babydoll, you gotta fuck my thighs, I'm starting to hurt. I’m going to turn over, okay precious? Got that?”

His lips trembled— Criston didn’t want to do that. He wanted her pussy. He slid out anyway, a torrent of white spend flooding out of her well-used entrance, seeping onto the bed. She marveled "Oh Criston, you still have anything left?" The woman hissed under her breath as she flipped onto her stomach. She tucked a pillow under her hips, giving him access to her thighs, slicked with their release.

Criston stared— unsure how to proceed. His cock was so flushed it purpled, aching horribly. He whined, frustrated with his stupidity, the man just wanted familiar tightness again. She sighed and reached back, ushering his knees and thighs to cage her legs in, forcing Criston forward.

He gasped in delight when his cock slid between her soft thighs, warm and wet. His depleted brain decided this would do. Criston’s thrusts were jerky and uncoordinated, he was growing too sensitive to go on much further. He kept at it, crying and sniffling like a babe.

“Awe baby, you’re hurting huh?”

“Mhm!” he replied, scrunching his face up tight. He had to cum one more time, he had to! Even if it was excruciating, the pleasure ramped up into nerves prickling all over his worn body. She watched him with lidded eyes, lips in a smirk. Criston exhaled again, throwing his head back to sob.

“Gotta- I gotta,” he mewled.

“I know sweetheart, so close, let it all out, you’ll feel so much better. You’re so pretty like this— all fucked out and still want more. Knocked your whore brain sideways. My cute slutty puppy, I love youuu.”

Criston folded under the praise, his body contracting once more, stomach cramping as he devolved into cries. His abused cock managed to dribble one little last bit. He couldn’t stop crying, falling back onto his haunches. Swann guided him down to shush and pet his hair. She murmured, "You're okay, all done now, I'm here, not going anywhere. Just breathe."

Criston’s muscles were all loose but the adrenaline had been sapped quickly. He was gutted— in a good way. Just couldn’t help the reaction, he knew it would happen after an intense romp like this. His baby curled into his heaving side, laying feathery kisses on his jaw, a relaxing hand at his diaphragm.

“That’s it, let it out, poor baby. Couldn’t help yourself hm?”

Criston nodded through the incessant tears, his shaky hand threading through her hair. He rasped, “I love you so much. You’re perfect.” He was growing more sleepy, settled by her kisses and glowing smile. He could float easy and enjoy the win, curled up with his lifesaver. Well, after she got him water and wiped down the mess. He realized with a smile— she had laid a towel underneath them.

She’d have to help him function tomorrow, Criston knew he’d be scrambled eggs, sore, and a bit grumpy. But that’s why they kept a suite for three days. After the kick off he would rest up and replenish. They would fuck sensually, cuddle, and watch a in some order of that fashion.

His addled mind conjured up a big diamond ring he’d buy for her.

#ser criston cole x reader #ser Criston cole imagine #criston cole x reader #hotd fanfic #hotd smut #modern au

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monzabee · 1 year

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you'll change your name or change your mind - cl16

masterlist

Summary: The one where you find your way back home, even if the journey takes longer than you think.

Pairing: charles leclerc x fem!bianchi!reader

Word Count: 5.9k

Warnings: mentions of jules and his accident, ANGST, talks about college acceptances in the US but it’s not accurate because i’ve never applied for US schools, mentions of alcohol and underage drinking/clubbing (only in the US though), mentions of a fake id, mentions of cheating, fighting, charles being stupid and not realising it, talks about processing grief, GRIEF, survivor’s guilt, talks of therapy, friends to lovers y’all.

Request: “The Charles fanfic was so good!! Can you write more angsty but happy needing Charles? I think it’s be cute for a man who loves Monaco so much to got to wherever his girlfriend lives Ike London or nyc often and deal with that. Maybe she hates monaco lol” + “if your requests are still open, max or charles + “you have to promise you won’t fall in love with me.” thanks!”

Author’s Note: hi, hey, hello!! i decided to give into the whole angst thing and i can honestly say that i’m having a great time. i wanted to include Jules somehow in this one because i’ve been seeing some edits on tiktok and let me tell you proofreading was a bitch because i kept crying. also, my spotify kept bringing up lorde and hannah montana songs, so there you go. this was definitely a hard one to write and i know it’s messy, but all feedback is appreciated. thank you, anon, for the request, i hope you guys enjoy! good morning, noon or night wherever you are, xoxobee

Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms.

Monaco is full of memories. It’s filled with memories of your childhood, your parents picking up you and your siblings from school in Nice, and getting the train to Monaco for your brother to compete in karting races. It’s filled with laughter, and ice cream, and friends. It’s also filled with fears, loss and uncertainty, and you suppose that’s why you didn’t ever want to go back. But you find your back there every time, even if it is only for a couple of days at a time. Although it reminds you of the bad times, it’s hard to erase the good ones completely.

Charles is just one of the people Jules brought into your life. He was right there since your birth – apparently, the Leclercs were visiting your family in Nice when your mother suddenly went into labour. You will always be thankful to Pascale and Hervé for stopping Jules from choosing your middle name to be Michael Schumacher. Neither Charles, nor you will forget the type of shenanigans you got up to as little kids, there is only a year difference between the two of you after all. There’s that one time you stole Charles’ kart and tried to go down the road, in which he caught you but instead of ratting you out to Lorenzo and Jules, who were supposed to be looking after you by the way, he helped you get it down the stairs and passed you his helmet as he explained how to go about it. Neither of your brothers were impressed by your ability to go fast or Charles’ sudden interest in maybe becoming a race engineer if the whole driver thing doesn’t work out. There was also the time when the two of you, along with Arthur, snuck out from a family friend’s wedding to only get lost in a city in the South of France; Charles got so stressed that he forgot how to speak French and proceeded to ask how to get back to the venue in Italian for the rest of the night. Needless to say, the two of you are there for each other no matter what; you stayed together through heartbreaks, wins, losses, losing Jules and Hervé, funerals, weddings and much more. The majority of your time together is spent in your family’s house in Nice. Charles doesn’t mind the half-hour journey, an hour if he decides to go back but he hardly ever does. Sometimes, he manages to convince you come to Monte Carlo for the day by bribing you with promises of sunsets and ice cream, but he will always drive you back if you insist you want to go home without any complain.

The first time you bring up the topic of moving, you’re in your last year of high school; by that time, Charles is already racing in Formula One, so your time together is limited to breaks between the races. However he tries his hardest to be there for you, from talking you through breakdowns that occur after long study sessions, to looking up pre-med programmes for you to apply all over the world. You never wanted to live your entire life between Nice and Monte Carlo in the first place, so is he is more than happy to help you explore your options. Your application results arrive when he’s on break between the races, so the two of you sit on the small table in his Monaco apartment’s kitchen, the light from your laptop lighting up both of your faces as you open up the emails one by one. You’re most anxious about your application to Columbia, which is 3.462 miles away from Nice, and 3.993 from Monte Carlo. By the time you finish opening up all the emails, both of you are sitting there with a silence between you. The acceptance letter still open on your laptop is congratulating you for your offer to join Columbia’s pre-med program the following September.

“Yes,” He looks at you expectantly, “Accept it, Y/N, you shouldn’t be even thinking about it!”

“Yes?” You let out a nervous laugh. “It’s not that simple, Charles–”

“But it is!” He argues, a big smile on his face. You can tell he is proud of you by the look in his eyes and the way his emotions carry through his voice. “It’s your top choice of school!”

“It’s also in New York, it means that there will be an entire ocean between us!”

He shrugs. “So?”

“So?” Your eyes widen in surprise, you start staking your head a little without being aware that you are doing it. “Doesn’t that scare you?”

“Chérie,” Charles coos, pulling your chair by its leg to bring you closer to him and wrap a supportive arm around your body. His chest rumbles from his low laughter as he presses kisses to your hair. “We’ll be fine, look at everything we’ve been through, and we’re not even that old.”

You scoff, hitting his chest in an attempt to get away; you start furiously typing on your computer. “You are old,” you point to him with a tilt of your head, “I’m not, though.”

He rolls his eyes and turns his concentration to the tab still open on your computer, “You’re going to accept the offer, though, right?”

You end up accepting the offer. Charles and his family is there alongside yours to send you off on a plane to New York City. Both your mother and Charles’ have tears in their eyes as they say their goodbyes, with your father giving you a similar look. Being the youngest of four siblings, it must’ve been hard to send their youngest all the way across an ocean, but they let you know that you have their support in every step of the way. With Charles’ schedule for the remaining races scattered all over the world, he tells you not to force yourself and to enjoy your first months as a college student.

You surprise him in Austin, though. Arranging this surprise is definitely not the easiest, but you ask Lorenzo for his help and he is more than happy to make arrangements for you. It’s the end of Friday’s last practice session when you surprise him in the Alfa Romeo garage. He almost walks past you, to get rid of his helmet when you say his name, but once he realises it is you he quickly pulls in for a hug. “What are you doing here?” He asks you while laughing with glee.

“Heard there’s an immunology seminar in town about the effects of talking a shower and then going out without drying your hair.” You answer with all the seriousness you can muster.

“Really?” He asks in confusion, taking his helmet and balaclava off and trying to fix his sweat-soaked hair.

You hit the back of his head lightly, shaking your head in disbelief. “No! I came here to see you race, you idiot!”

He shakes head in understanding. “Oh, oh!” His eyes widen once again with recognition this time.

“Yes, oh, now come on, we’re going out.” You’re quick to add, “To dinner because airplane food sucks. We’re going out clubbing after the race, though.”

True to your word, you go clubbing after his race on Sunday, which Charles is not entertained by. He’s paranoid by the fact that you are in the club with them in the first place, which should not be happening because you’re underage. He keeps silent as you show the bouncer your id, which he knows is a fake, by the way; as he sends Lorenzo an incredulous look, his older brother’s reaction consisting off a shrug of the shoulders makes him more paranoid.

“Y/N, you should not be drinking.” He voices his concern, as you’re on your second drink of the night. “This is wrong.”

“How is this different than me drinking back at home?” You argue with your eyebrows raised. “You don’t tell me I can’t drink when we’re back home.”

“Because it is legal for you to do so there!” Charles exclaims, somehow gathering the attention of some of the clubbers nearby, but he offers them an apological smile and then turns back to you with his voice lowered. “You’re not twenty one, ergo – you shouldn’t be drinking.”

“Pfft,” You shrug him off, “You’re stupid, and I’m bored. You want to dance?”

You help Charles to move into his flat in Italy when he starts racing for Ferrari. Though he still lives in Monaco full-time, he rented a small place in Maranello to stay when he’s travelling. It’s an emotional event, which has both of you sitting on the floor of his new apartment going through boxes of old photographs. He finds one of his brothers and Jules with you, standing in front of a karting ring with big smiles in all of your faces. You fingers involuntarily trace over your brother, your eyes misting when you think about the day.

“He was so young,” You whisper, having to swallow a sob which threatens to escape.

Your eyes linger on the photograph for a while, and Charles quickly understands that you were not talking about the photograph as the tears you were trying to hold back find their way onto your cheeks. “He was.” He agrees; there aren’t enough words in the world to describe what losing a family member does to a person, and he understands you in a way most people cannot.

You offer him a sad smile through your tears. “He would be so proud of you.”

“He would be also so proud of you,” He whispers right back, leaning closer to you so that he could wipe away the few stray tears. “In fact, I am pretty sure he is.”

“Stop it.” You laugh softly through your tears as you push yourself to get off the floor, and dry under your eyes with your fingers as you look across the room. “Oh my god, Charles, we have so many boxes to go through.”

He gets up after you and looks around the dusty living room as he attempts to get rid of the dust on his clothes. “We do, don’t we?” He watches as you kneel in front of an unopened box and slice through the tape with a knife, and starting to go through the items in the box. He watches you go through the items silently for a while, noticing how seriously you take the task. His eyes linger on the frown on your face for a while, the way your eyebrows scrunch in question, or how you tuck a stubborn piece of hair, which escapes from the braid in your hair, to the back of your ear. He stalks closer, gently gripping one of your wrists and pulling you to your feet. “Dance with me.” He asks – which comes off less as an ask and more of a demand, which causes you to playfully roll your eyes at him.

“Charles, the boxes–” You try to argue.

His laugh is laced with mischief. “The boxes will still be there, chérie, just one dance won’t change anything.”

You try to come with arguments in your head but all your attempts are quickly thrown out the window when you realise just how green Charles’ eyes actually are. “We don’t have any music.” You try to offer as a measly argument.

Charles raises his eyebrows as he wraps his arms around your waist after making you wrap yours around his neck. “We don’t need any music, Y/N.”

So you give up in any attempts in stopping him, as he starts to slowly sway both of your bodies from side to side. You let out a chuckle when he stars, terribly, humming to an old song you used to hear on the radio. “This is stupid.” You mumble as you keep up your pace with his movements.

“You seem to keep calling me that.” Charles recalls, making both of you laugh in recognition. “I need to tell you something important.”

“So tell me,” you encourage him, motioning him to continue.

“I met someone.” He announces, a small smile playing on his lips.

You breath get stuck for a moment, in which you remind yourself that Charles is waiting for your reaction – most likely a supportive one at that. “Wow, Charles.” You breath out and give him a smile, which you successfully manage to pass off as a supportive one, hoping he doesn’t notice the way your voice breaks off in the end. “I’m so happy for you.”

You’re not stupid – thinking that either of you could stay single forever is an unrealistic one. But it hurts to imagine him with another person while he looks at you like that makes a part of you crumble up into a ball on your bed and cry. And that’s just what you do when you go back to the hotel that night (because the house is still unliveable when the two of you decide you’re done for the day). You try to keep your sobs as quiet as possible because you know Charles is in the hotel room next to yours. As you’re looking out the window, watching the night sky light up with stars in Maranello that night, you tell yourself you, somehow, need to move on from your best friend.

The next time you see Charles is during Christmas time. You have a tradition – Lorenzo, Charles, Jules and you, a tradition, which Arthur joined once he was old enough. It’s a peculiar one. While it’s not uncommon for most families to watch Christmas movies during this time of the year, your choice of movie has not Christmas elements in it at all. Every Christmas, the four of you watch The Sound of Music. It’s a silly tradition which was born out of boredom and lack of movies one Christmas, but it’s a tradition you managed carried out every year.

You can still remember Lorenzo complaining because “It’s three hours of songs about whiskers and bass clef.”

While Jules gives his best friend an unamused glare, both you and Charles try to mimic the Frenchman who you idolise. “It has nuns, songs, Nazis and familial love, Lorenzo, what more could you ask for?” He shrugs as he turns his attention back on screen, “Plus, Julie Andrews is hot.”

“Why would she be hot?” You remember asking, the woman on the screen not seeming uncomfortable by the weather.

“No reason,” Jules assures you, wrapping one of his arms around you.“Watch the movie, shortcake.”

And yes, while it might be stupid to watch the same movie, which has no Christmas value at all, every year on Christmas day, it’s a reminder that you have each other even if you’re not always together. So when you sit down to watch the movie that Christmas, there is a bad feeling in your stomach when you realise Charles is not there to watch it with you. If his brothers also find it weird that he’s not there they don’t make a comment, neither do you, for that matter. You try to push it to the back of your mind and enjoy the moment, telling yourself that even if this is a tradition between the four of you, it’s not the end of the world if you fail to do it. So you smile, and have fun throughout the day – when you’re watching the movie, or when you decide to hold a gingerbread house competition (Arthur wins, by the way), or when you sit down to have dinner with your families, and it makes you feel a thousand times better.

It’s late when he comes home that night, Lorenzo and Arthur have already passed out on the couch with you trying to read the anatomy textbook on your lap in the low light.

“Hi.” He greets you as he gives you a tight-lipped smile.

“Hi.” You whisper back, trying not to wake up the boy sleeping next to you. “Did you have fun?”

“Yeah, it was a good day.” He answers truthfully, and then motions the book resting on your knees. “Aren’t you going to go to sleep?”

“No, I think I’m going to stay here tonight.”

He doesn’t argue as he presses a kiss on your temple. “Okay, good night, chérie.”

One thing about Charles, is that he is very secretive about his relationships – to the point where he won’t introduce someone to you or his family if he doesn’t think the relationship is going somewhere. So, when he brings over Charlotte for lunch the next day, there is a buzz around the house. The lunch goes well, you think. Charlotte is sweet, and the two of you talk about many things including your universities; she’s very impressed that you want to go into the medical field and you tell her that architecture must be a pain in the ass to study and she agrees with a loud laugh.

When Pascale asks them what they did for Christmas yesterday, Charlotte leans against Charles’ arm as she answers, “Oh, nothing. We just stayed home and watched that old movie – what was it again?”

“The Sound of Music.” Charles answers, his eyes are focused on his hands, and you know this, because your eyes don’t heave his frame until Arthur forces you to carry the dishes into the kitchen.

“We’ll do them, maman,” he announces when Pascale attempts to tidy up the dishes, “Y/N will help me, won’t you?”

“Yeah, sure.” You nod, the voice coming off from you not matching the sunny disposition you present to the rest of the room.

You carry the dishes Arthur passes to you to the kitchen, holding your breath in an attempt to keep the tears at bay, and you succeed, too. At least until Arthur comes after you, carrying more dishes and places them next to the other ones near the kitchen sink. You start scrubbing them with intensity, your sniffles and the sound from water whooshing around in the sink filling the room. Arthur pulls you against him as you lean your forehead to his shoulder, or where you can on his arm due to your height-difference, as you start quietly sobbing. Arthur turns the tap on as he lets you cry into his shoulder.

The two of you return to the dining room after the dishes are done, and continue the conversation as if nothing happened. After Charlotte announces that she should be on her way, you walk her to the door with everyone, the two of you exchanging numbers as she makes you promise to go shopping with her the next time you’re in Monaco. You agree with a chuckle and tell her only if she teaches you how to draw because your “Anatomy notes are seriously suffering.” After she gives Charles a kiss and leaves, Charles turns to you.

“It’s just a movie.” He says in a low voice.

“You’re allowed to have fun with your girlfriend, Charles.” You assure him and pat his shoulder for good measure. Then, you turn to Arthur, who is watching the exchange with a confused look on his face. “Want to play a round before I leave?”

“Sure,” he agrees and the two of you move into the living room to play a round of F1 on the PlayStation. He sets it up for you as you try to get comfortable on the couch, trying to get rid of the feeling of unease as Charles watches you from the other side of the couch. “Who do you want to pick?” Arthur asks you, the cursor hovering over his choice – who is of course his brother.

You stay quiet for a moment and answer him in a calm voice, “Give me Max.”

Charles scoffs from the other side and pushes himself off, his arms crossed over his chest. “Rich, Y/N, just rich.”

“What?” you ask him with faux innocence and a shrug of your shoulders.

His voice is accusatory when he snaps, “Stop being childish for a moment.”

“Oh, I’m being childish?” You ask him, getting off the couch as well.

“Yes, you’re being extremely childish right now.” He agrees, nodding his head. “Glad we at least agree on that.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You ask again while narrowing your eyes.

He scoffs, “It’s just a stupid movie.”

“I didn’t say a fucking word about the movie, Charles.” You point out, mimicking his pose as you cross your arms over your chest. In reality, it’s a short attempt at trying to hide your shaking hands. “But it’s not a stupid movie, it’s tradition.”

“Traditions can be broken from time to time.” He argues.

“I didn’t say they couldn’t.” You shrug, trying to appear indifferent to the man in front of you.

“Maybe if you tried to stick around for more than three days at a time, you wouldn’t be so upset about these type of things.”

Your mouth hangs open in shock. “Excuse me?”

“Charles, maybe you should–” Arthur tries to stop his brother, but Charles waves him off.

“Sometimes I think ‘Did I do something?’, but then I realise that maybe the problem is not me–”

Though you’re shocked by his words, you find yourself assuring him, “It’s not, it has nothing to do with you.”

Both you and Arthur can see something snaps in him, causing him to raise his voice. “Then what is it? Tell me so I can fix it and you can stop running away!”

You shake your head, your arms which are wrapped around you becoming tighter as an attempt to provide yourself some sort of protection. “You can’t fix it, Charles.”

His arms become undone as his fists ball on either side of his body. “You don’t know that–”

“No you can’t!” You scream, somehow more tears flowing from your eyes. “You can’t bring Jules back because he’s dead, and you can’t fix me because I’m not a toy! You think I want to live this way? You think I want to go back every damn time I set foot in this city because I just hate it here? I can’t bear the thought of staying here because of the fact that my brother died while I was here and I didn’t get to say goodbye to him.” You point a finger towards him, your voice gradually becoming louder to match his. “He was dead by the time I got back to the hospital and they told me he couldn’t hold on any longer, how do you think that makes me feel every time I feel like I’ve overstayed in this city, huh?”

“You need to stop living in the past, Y/N.” He shakes his head. “Don’t you see you’re letting the past hold you back?”

“‘Letting the past hold me back’ do you even hear yourself right now? I am trying my best to move on!”

“By moving across the ocean?” He asks you, “By leaving the people you love you behind?”

“You– you can do this!” You scream as you walk towards him and jab your finger against his chest. “You told me to take the offer, you told me to move away because you were so sure we’d be fine.”

“Well maybe I was wrong.” He whispers, grabbing both of your wrists to stop you from poking him and curling his arms closer to his chest.

Your eyes widen with a furious look in them, which makes him realise he sees more of Jules in them than before. “Screw you, Charles.” You struggle against his hold, hitting his chest with your fists with every word as you scream, “Screw you for trying to dictate how I process my grief, and screw you for acting so indifferent.” You win your struggle in the end, taking advantage of the fact that he is both distracted and speechless to get out of his hold and quickly grab your things.

“Where are you going?” He asks you as you’re putting your coat on.

“Anywhere but here.” You snap at him, refusing to meet his eyes.

Arthur quickly comes near you with a concerned look, “You shouldn’t be driving right now, at least let me drive you.”

You give him the warmest smile you can muster up, “I’ll be fine, ThurThur,” your eyes find Charles’ as you continue, “Don’t ever change, okay?”

After the disastrous Christmas last year, you two didn’t talk for a whole year, even though the people around you tried their hardest to bring you to talk to each other. Even Charlotte tried to trick you into spending time, claiming that she had a work emergency just as you arrived at the lunch you two scheduled to find Charles sitting there – you quickly left without being seen and spent the day walking through the marina because “Fuck Charles if he thinks you can’t spend more than three days in Monte Carlo.” He spends Christmas with Charlotte again, but unlike this year, you don’t feel sad about his absence, choosing to call it growth when reality it’s actually packing it away to deal with it another time.

The two of you eventually do make up, though, when you go to one of Arthur’s races to support him and run into Charles on the track. You talk between breaks, both of you succumbing and apologising to each other for the things you’ve said – him more than you, but you still apologise for the way you’ve acted afterwards. Arthur has a strange smile on his face when he finds you, releasing a relieved breath when you told him that you’re fine and you’re going to take baby steps.

“Good,” he smiles, “maman was about to lock you onto Charles’ yacht.”

Your therapist calls is ‘survivor’s guilt’. Yes, you have one of those now because although you want it to be false, you think a part of what Charles said might be right. She explains to you that it’s a natural response where someone has suffered a loss and you didn’t. This confuses you, though, because even if the loss in question is the death of your brother, you weren’t there to experience it with the rest of your family. Dr. Gambini is there to explain that “Although it implies experience, it doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t not feel the loss of something you didn’t get to suffer.” So, you go through the therapy experience to try to understand your own feelings, which makes you think maybe it is what you should be focusing on in the first place. It’s an overwhelming feeling, understanding things about yourself which you didn’t before – the things you used to feel slowly gain meaning as you go about it. You’re proud of yourself when you talk about it to your parents, and they tell you that they are proud of you for giving it a go. Charles joins you in one of your sessions – it’s Charlotte’s idea, actually. He tries to understand why, and how he can help you – he leaves the session feeling proud of you for taking care of yourself.

A few months later, you get a phone call from him when you’re in the middle of the week when you are studying, while all of your friends are away for spring break. His voice is thick with tears as he tells you that it’s over between him and Charlotte, but refuses to give you a reason when you ask why. It leaves you confused in New York, but when he asks you if you can come home for the weekend, you don’t hesitate to book a ticket for the next flight out. He’s shocked to find you standing in front of his door, but pulls you in for a hug anyway. Neither of you care about the duffel bag that hits the floor at your feet, even when you’re stumbling over it to get to him. You don’t talk, but hold each other throughout the night. He offers to cook for you, but you decide that ordering pizza is a better solution than trying to each what Charles attempts to cook. So, you end up deciding on pizza and a movie.

You look at him confused when you realise which movie he’s selected, “It’s not Christmas, Charles.”

He sits down on the couch, and pulls you under his arm as he reaches for the pizza box sitting on the coffee table. There’s a nostalgic smile on his face which you cannot understand. “I owe you two screenings of this movie, Y/N. Now eat your pizza and watch it.”

So, the two of you watch the movie in silence – with silently laughing in relevant scenes and Charles even attempting to sing the Lonely Goatherd, which leaves you in tears because of how much you’re laughing. At the end of the night he walks you to the guest room in his apartment and pulls you for one last hug, whispering, “Thank you for coming,” into your hair.

“Of course, Charles.” You whisper, turning your head and softly pressing a kiss to his shirt-covered chest. “Try to get some sleep, okay? I’ll see you in the morning.

He’s in the kitchen when you wake up in the morning, focusing so intently on something on his phone to notice you. You ruffle his hair as you make your way through the kitchen to make some breakfast for the two of you. “Good morning to you too, you grump.” You tell him, when you finish getting out the ingredients for the breakfast you have in mind.

“Morning, chérie.” He answers, in a non-committal voice.

“And to think I was going to make you pancakes.” You sigh as you halt the movement of your hands and lean against the counter.

A playful smile is on your lips when Charles excitedly raises his head. “Pancakes?” He asks in a soft voice.

“I was going to add chocolate chips, too, but you didn’t say good morning to me and now I don’t think I’m in mood to be honest with you.” You shrug, starting to put away the bowls you took out.

He quickly comes behind the counter to tickle some sense in you, and you use the bowl in your hands as a shield as you start laughing. He gives up after a while, pressing a kiss to your temple and fixing some of your hair which fell out of place during the ‘fighting’. “Good morning, how can I help you?”

“Wow, you actually want to help me cook for a change?” You coo, ruffling his hair again and hitting his hip with yours to get him out of your way. “Go wait on the other side, you grumpy baby.” He complies to your directions to sit on the other side of the island, but doesn’t bother with his phone this time. You make a motion towards his phone on the island with your head as you crack the eggs into the bowl. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, just some problem with the car.” He answers. “I might need to go to Maranello for a day or two. When is your flight back to New York?”

“Oh– I can change it if you know the date–” You start to say, but he quickly cuts you off.

“What? No, I don’t want you to go back.” He quickly says, shaking his head. “I just thought you might want to come with me rather than stay here.”

“Oh,” You say, looking around. “It’s not a problem, I can stay and study.”

There is a confused look on his face. “Stay? Here?” He asks over and over again. “Here? Stay? Alone?”

“Yes, Charles, I can manage to stay by myself.” You sigh. “I did it last summer for a month, you can trust me, alright?”

“You were in Monte Carlo for a month, last summer? How did I not catch you at all?”

You let out another sigh, “In case you don’t realise, I’m very good at avoiding you.” You continue when he gives you yet another confused look as you start mixing the batter. “Charlotte told me to meet her at a restaurant but it was a set up for me to meet with you, so I got in the car and drove away. It was probably the closest we got to each other.”

“Wow.” He looks at you with wide eyes. “Just, wow.”

You roll your eyes and glare at him. “Stop looking at me like that. My classes are all online this semester and Dr. Gambini thinks it’s good for me to spend more time here; it’s supposed to help me get closure, or something.”

He gives you a big smile. “I’m proud of you, Y/N.”

“Yeah?” You ask him, his smile quickly mirroring on your own lips.

“Yeah.” He breathes out. “And you can stay here all you want! And cook me breakfast, you know.”

You let out a laugh this time. “I can get my own place, Charles.”

“But then who will cook me breakfast?” He asks with a small pout.

“You are a child, Perceval.” You laugh at the way he looks at you, with his elbows bent over the counter and his upper body leaning over the stove. “I’m only cooking you breakfast; you have to promise you won’t fall in love with me after this.” You joke.

You turn around to look in the cupboard for the chocolate chips as you hear him mumble, “Too late.”

You almost hit your head at the open cupboard door when you turn right back to look at him. “What?” You walk towards the island as you mumble out, “No, no, no, no, don’t say that. You just broke up with your girlfriend, Charles.”

“We broke up almost five months ago.” He announces, no hint of joking in his voice. “Right before the Abu Dhabi race.”

“That’s not true.” You say, shaking your head. “I spoke to Charlotte; she told me everything was fine.”

He shrugs, then offers you an explanation. “We announced it a couple of months later, but we’ve been broken up for a while.”

“But then why did you call me a couple of days ago to tell me it was over?” You ask him, visibly confused.

He looks guilty as he admits. “I– I don’t have a good answer for that.” He stalks over to the other side of the island again to trap you between himself and the marble in an attempt to prevent you from evading. “All I can say is that I love you.”

“Oh, wow.” You say, suddenly you can find the right choice for words. “Say that again for me?”

“I love you, Y/N.”

“Now in French?”

“Je t'aime.”

“In Italian?”

“Ti amo.” He laughs this time, leaning down towards you to bring his face towards yours. “You done?” You nod your head with a giggle escaping past your lips. “This would be a perfect time to say something, you know.”

“Oh, right.” You nod in acknowledgement. “Thank you.”

“What?” He asks in horror.

“Yeah, thank you. You know, for the–”

“Chérie!” He exclaims with his eyes wide.

You continue your giggles as you place your hands on his cheeks and pull his face towards you, resting his forehead on yours. “I love you too, chez moi,” my home/place. The pancakes are long-forgotten when you pres your lips on his to give him a kiss, somewhere in the universe your twelve year-old is high-fiving with herself, but you are happy to be finally home.

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