#normal headcanons!

[imtotallyokandnormal]

I can’t imagine how confusing wanting to be hurt for sexual reasons would be for John after everything XD it would have to be very slow, but once he got the hang of it and after many reassurances, they would have a blast.

Ohhh my god ok ok listen I'll explain everything as I write it but...let's just say he will not like it at first-

Reader: gn reader (no genitals described)

Warnings: nsfw, masochism, John gets very worried but ends up very horny, John can be interpreted as dominant or submissive (I believe in Switch Doe Supremacy)

Image link: how are y'all? Tell me about your day

》☆John Doe x Masochist You!☆《

- Sex with John usually is pretty vanilla, because John doesn't know exactly how humans prefer sex and also because he's afraid of giving into his desires and hurting you in the process. So you could imagine they were extremely confused and surprised to say the least when they found out that's actually what you wanted!

- Whether you asked him to do something pretty kinky or even just something small like giving you a hickey, their reaction would be the same; completely stopping and just staring at you with the widest "what the fuck??" eyes possible.

- "...my dear- I thought humans didn't- like to be hurt-??? Why would you want me to hurt you???-"

- On their shirt (yes in this scenario the shirt stays on because I think it's funny) it's just a bunch of ???

- Even if you tried to explain it to them they'd still be extremely confused. I hope you don't mind the mood being ruined by him asking a bunch of questions because honestly he'd be too confused and worried to continue until they entirely understand.

- John would be trying to just process the fact that even after everything he's done to accidentally hurt and even kill you, you still want them to hurt you? But in a different way? Honestly they really wouldn't get it and would be apologizing for not being able to understand.

- You'd have to start out slow for him to get warmed up to it, like just gentle bites on the shoulder or something along those lines. John would tell you to tell him if it hurts too much, they still don't want it to go too far. Honestly they'd be really nervous about it, arms around your waist as he gently does as you ask.

- Your reactions are what get them to start liking it. If you moan or whimper, maybe move against them a bit, that's when their world opens up. Seeing you enjoy him giving in to his less than gentle nature, even if it's a little bit at a time...oh, it'd start to drive him wild.

- The more you beg him to keep going, the more you urge them on to do more things, to go harder, the quicker John starts to feel the adrenaline rush. You liked this- you liked their form of love, the form he tried taming to protect you. In this context, you even loved it. And you wanted more- oh, he'll fucking give you more.

- They'll start getting rough as you continue, maniacally giggling to themselves as they start to do everything they've been holding back to protect you. He'd get a little drunk on it honestly, seeing you enjoy it so much. It makes them want to see the full extent of your pleasure. They want to see you at your climax, begging or even demanding for him to please, please never stop.

- You'll be completely covered in marks by the time you both are through with each other. Of course John still exercised restraint, and if you asked them to stop they wouldn't even hesitate, but seeing the aftermath of his love decorating your skin, even if it's slight...good lord, it makes him absolutely smitten.

- Oh by the way John gives the fucking BEST aftercare this side of The Uncanny Valley, they are absolutely giving you everything you need. Snacks, a bath, anything you requested would be there in seconds flat. Anything to show you the love you want and need. But it really does make them happy seeing you enjoy a form of love he's more familiar with giving.

[apollos-boyfriend]

obsessed w this tweet i just saw. you’re telling me twitter users aren’t out here blocking people for the sole reason of bad vibes? of disliking a layout? no wonder there’s so much drama over there there’s no curation of your experience

[thebibliosphere]

I feel like I've complained about Tim's email situation in Gotham Knights before (edit: I have), but the truth of it is just so funny.

He's signed up for so many podcasts, video game streamers, and random news alerts; it's just a constant barrage of data going straight into his constantly whirring brain. Hell, he even floats the idea of the Batfamily having their own podcast as a way to correct misinformation about them (which Jason shoots down instantly), and it's made me realize something.

Timothy Drake would be a YouTuber.

In this universe specifically, Timothy Jackson Drake, the heir to Drake Industries and the foster son of the late Bruce Wayne would be a YouTuber.

Think about it. It'd be the perfect cover. Who would ever suspect that some 16-year-old nepo baby with a YouTube channel could ever be Red Robin? You'd have to be mad. I mean, look at him.

Red Robin just dropped out of literal thin air and garotted someone four times his size, and you expect anyone to believe that's the same kid who does 24-hour Minecraft charity streams and occasionally drops 6-hour video essays (his last one was on Lex Luthor's illegal bit mining operation on the moon)?

That kid?

You think that kid is Red Robin?

Ch'yah, okay, sure. And the Joker is funny 🤡.

[kizzer55555]

DP x DC: The Most Dangerous Card Game

Ok so Danny has essentially claimed earth as his. And he is fully aware that there are constant threats to the planet. Now he can’t stop a threat that originates on earth (that’s something he’ll leave to the Justice league) but he can do something about outside threats. Doing some research on ancient spells, rituals, and artifacts, he cast a world wide barrier on the planet to protect it from hostile threats so they cannot enter. This will prevent another Pariah Dark incident. However, barriers like this come at a price. You see, there are two ways to make a barrier. Either make one powered up by your own energy and power (which would be constantly draining) or set up a barrier with rules. The way magic works is that nothing can be absolutely indestructible. It must have a weakness. The most powerful barriers weren’t the ones reinforced with layer after layer of protective charms and buffed up with power. Those could eventually be destroyed either by being overpowered, wearing them down, or by cutting off the original power source. No, the most powerful barriers were the ones with a deliberate weakness. A barrier indestructible except for one spot. A cage that can only be opened from the outside. Or that can only be passed with a key or by solving a riddle. So Danny chooses this type of barrier and does the necessary ritual and pours in enough power to make it. And he adds his condition for anyone to enter. 

Now the Justice league? Find out about the barrier when Trigon attempts to attack, they were preparing after he threatened what he would do once he got to earth. How he would destroy them. The Justice league tried to take the fight to him first but were utterly destroyed, so they retreated home to tend to their injuries, and fortify earth for one. Last. Stand. Only when Trigon makes his big entrance…he’s stopped.

The Justice league watch in awe as this thin see-through barrier with beautiful green swirls and speckled white lights like stars apears blocking Trigon and his army’s advance. The barrier looks so thin and fragile yet no matter how hard the warlord hits, none of his attacks can get through and neither can he damage said barrier. That’s when Constantine and Zatanna recognizes what this barrier is. Something only a powerful entity could create. For a moment, the league is filled with hope that Trigon can’t get through yet Constantine also explains that it’s not impenetrable. And clearly Trigon knows this too for he calls out a challenge. 

And that’s when, in a flash of light, a tiny glowing teenager appears. He looked absolutly minuscule compared to Trigon and yet practically glowed with power (this isn’t a King Danny AU though).

And that is when the conditions for passing the barrier are revealed. And the Justice realize that the only thing stopping Trigon and his army from decimating earth. The only way he can get through….is by beating this glowing teenager in a card game. 

Not just any card game though. The most convoluted game Sam, Danny, and Tucker invented themselves. It’s like the infinite realms version of magic the gathering, combined with Pokémon, and chess. And Danny is the master. So sit down Trigon and let’s play.

(The most intense card game of the Justice league’s life).

After Danny wins, this happens a few more times with outer word beings and possibly even demons attempting to invade earth, yet none have been able to beat the mysterious teenager in a card game. Constantine might even take a crack at it and try to figure out how to play. He’s really bad though. Every time this happens, the Justice league worry that this might be the time the teenager looses. Yet every time, he wins (even if only barely). 

Meanwhile, Danny, Sam, and Tucker have gotten addicted to the game and play it almost daily. Some teachers might seem them playing the game are are like ‘awww how cute’ not realizing this game is literally saving the world. Jazz is just happy they aren’t spending as much time on their screens playing Doomed.

[horse-head-farms]

🪼slime-kisser Follow

all these posts like “don’t shop at boatem they support cannibalism” “the evil empire is a crypto scam” “don’t buy at octagon they’re trying to destroy the fabric of the universe” where the FUCK else am I supposed to shop????

🐠xbcrafted Follow

may i recommend horse head farms? we sell a variety items for agreeable prices and have alternate payment plans which mean you don’t have to spend a single diamond! you can find us via the nether hub <3

🪲yeswingsforlife Follow

do NOT shop at Horse Head Farms! Their items are incredibly overpriced (you can find grass, logs, etc for better prices) and this “alternative payment scheme” is actually signing an IOU. If you don’t know what that is, IOU stands for “I Owe You” and is a legal document that, when possessed, someone can force you to do anything. Literally anything. LegalKnight does a great video going into detail about it. According to this article, Horse Head Farms have just invested in building an auction house, possibly to sell off the IOUs they’ve acquired, so scummy CEOs could force you to work at their companies. Not to mention, their owners are incredibly sketchy, xBCrafted regularly tweets conspiracy theories and Hypnotizd invests in crypto

😵‍💫hypnotizd Follow

youre wrong actually, i have had nothing but brilliant service at Horse Head Farms. IOUs arent sketchy theyre normal pieces of paper. #shoptoday

🪲yeswingsforlife Follow

… you’re literally one of the owners

🐸cottagecoreliving Follow

to answer the original question, here’s a list of more reputable businesses that you can support instead!

Tays Trees

HIVE-DR8

Joe Hills’ Flower Stalls

Big Eyes

🥚dragon-tegg Follow

hey not to derail this post or anything but is anyone going to mention how OP literally fetishises slime hybrids???

( 7,067 notes )

🌃elytramoments Follow

hate when i crashland in the lava biome

🐶renrobert Follow

you mean the nether

🌃elytramoments Follow

i do not

#i think it’s a national park or something #idk its like this for miles #its near boatem

( 15.4k notes )

👁️big-eyes Follow

This weekend at Big Eyes we are having a #SALE of up to 99% OFF! EVERY item has a discount! Don’t waste your diamonds, shop at Big Eyes!

😍sexy-papa-k Follow

sweetfaces! we are going into debt! please buy ❤️❤️💕❤️🍆😭😭😭❤️ -papa k

👁️big-eyes Follow

kerlais why woudl you reblog on that account

😍sexy-papa-k Follow

we need all the reach we can get bubbles! ❤️😝❤️❤️🍆💕 -papa k

( 14 notes )

[doodlesdreaming]

“No more green lights, Johnny. We’re on our own.”

[lizardpersonyknow]

It's so incredibly funny to me that somehow some people think Tim is a boring straightlace and Jason is deranged and unhinged

Like Jason at his worst is a murderous crime lord who also has a moral conscience, protects children and sex workers, works to make the worst parts of Gotham safer and wants to know that his dad cares

Tim at his worst on the other hand.... Rampant murder with NO morals, becomes Batman and uses the gun that killed Bruce's parents, dictator, takes over like half of America, goes back in time like a couple times to tell his younger self that this is their inevitable end just to fuck with HIMSELF

Jason at his best is the happy robin, loves school, cares for sex workers becomes a crime lord to help make sure the people who are addicted aren't being given toxic shit

Tim at his best is entirely unhinged, stalking Batman and Robin through the streets, blackmailing Batman, all the young justice shenanigans, creating a fake uncle to avoid adoption, beefing with a like 9 year old (deserved imo 9 year olds are MEAN), lies to everyone including batman and take pride in it

Like besties one is exponentially more of a black sheep and it isn't the drug lord, it's the heroic sidekick of batman

Yes Jason is still out on the streets wildin and feral but I don't think people give enough credit to how normal he is for his background

Yes Tim is CEO but he's also been 17 for years and probably has taken cocaine to see what it felt like

[starrylevi]

Obsessed with the idea that people forget you have Captain Levi’s heart until they see him do little things for you. Like at breakfast, before his morning meeting with Erwin, he’ll pass by your table and casually hand you a loaded plate. “They didn’t have those croissants you usually like but I found those weird ass pastries you can’t stop talking about.” And then he’ll just walk away without saying anything else. Or like, while you’re all suiting up for a mission, he’ll randomly walk up to you and adjust the thigh straps of your odm gear to make sure they’re properly secured and you’re just like “!!!” inside. Or like for every group meeting he arrives early and saves you the seat next to him and when you arrive, he’ll pull out your chair, waiting till you sit so he can briefly place his hand on your thigh as a greeting 🥰🥰🥰🥰

[bombabo0]

Leshy from cult of the lamb

No cut and alt version under the cut, there's also a little stupid bonus jajaj he was hungry

[alcego]

i understand the desire to make Jeremy secretly fucked up but y'all i will be so real. man would be a Fox if so. to me it is funnier to make him absurdly normal. yeah his parents are divorced but that's fine. just... making him Normal would be the hardest thing for Jean to decipher and in MY mind it makes more sense for Jeremy to be just. painfully normal.

[imtotallyokandnormal]

》☆F/O ASK GAME!!☆《

Howdy! I've been seeing these around lately and I wanted to try making one.

(BY THE WAY I AM STILL DOING THESE I'M JUST ALSO IN COLLEGE SO IT MAY TAKE A LIK WHILE ALSO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SENDING YOUR F/OS IN THIS IS FUN)

Gimme a picture of your f/o via reblog or ask and I'll assign them my own personal headcanon of them based on vibes. If I don't know them at all it'll be purely vibes.

Example under cut.

For example:

I haven't seen anything about this person but I think their favorite artist is Abba but they can't tell anybody because they're convinced that everyone thinks they're a badass and they gotta keep up their image (nobody thinks they're a badass, and they all probably already know about their Abba obsession).

If you don't want me to put in any sex/kink related headcanons or you want me to avoid anything specific feel free to tell me because sometimes I get piss kink vibes from some characters but I'm not sure if people really wanna hear that about their f/o.

[moongreenlight]

Ghost as a club bouncer. My brain is doing a hard reboot.

Him in one of those tight-fitted black tees. Big shoulders completely blocking the entrance?

Him standing with his arms crossed over his big barrel chest glowering down at people trying to get in with fake IDs or without paying the cover?

That stupid trope of him questioning your ID? What’s your address? What’s your birthday? What’s your sign? You trying to buy me a drink? And then he grudgingly waves you inside?!!

The idea of him being the one person in the club you shouldn’t be talking to, and especially not sassing that draws you to him all night???

Him standing in front of VIP and you trying to get through but there’s a big crowd but he’s so big and tall that he can see you so he just reaches out and drags you forward by the wrist with those big huge giant tattooed arms of his?!!!!!!!!!

Trying to flirt with him all night and him being stone cold until you finally decide to give it up because there’s some drunk guy looking to actually pay you some mind and when you go to the bathroom and come back out you see Ghost throwing the guy out??

AND THEN YOU GET ALL HUFFY AND TRY AND ARGUE WITH HIM AND HE JUST ROLLS HIS EYES AND TAKES YOU BY THE ARM AGAIN??!!!!!!

LEADS YOU THROUGH THE EMPLOYEE EXIT TO HIS CAR SAYING HE’LL TAKE YOU HOME. AND THEN ON THE DRIVE HOME WHEN YOU’RE BICKERING HE SAYS SOMETHING ABOUT

“Don’t know how to behave. Been humpin’ my leg all night. Have to sort out that needy cunt of yours see if you can’t stay out of trouble then.”

[bluerosefox]

Fenton Ethics and Test Tube Babies

In order to get the funding they need for their Ghost stuff, Jack and Maddie Fenton had to do some... rather illegal things when they left college.

One of them was testing alien DNA and seeing if it was compatible with human DNA.

However getting their hands on Superman's DNA or any of the main Leaguers would be far to hard for two up coming scientists and would run the risk of them being caught. Instead they set their sights on some of the younger aliens.

Such as Starfire, or rather Koriand'r.

They manage to get their hands on her DNA, and also her boyfriend (Nightwing) at the time and began to test it. They felt unsure with what they're doing but they needed the funding and in order to make themself feel better with what they're doing they decided if they were test her DNA with someone she was seeing it would be... better for their own conscience (it doesn't make what they're doing okay but they think so)

Eventually they succeeded in the testing! A baby can be made between a human and a alien.

HOWEVER because we know how the Fenton's get, they kind of go ahead of what they were only meant to do, which was just to TEST the compatibility of the DNA. Basically the paper's before the test phase.

With them getting tunnel vision on this project... They create said baby.

Then before they could show off that creating a new baby via test tubes actually works, they were told that the paperwork they were working on were going to be given to a new team, thank you for your work, here is the money for your ghost stuff, and have a good day.

The people who hired them then just leave.... Without knowing about the newly made baby.

Jack and Maddie name the baby Jasmine.

A few years later when little Jazz asks for a sibling... Well they bring out the old test tubes and papers.

And even though Starfire is no longer dating Nightwing, her new partner Red Hood would make a wonderful male donor for their future kid.

[zephyrchama]

I like to sometimes think that the OM! demons and angels have a heightened sense for noticing other beings, like they know when someone or something is nearby even if it's incredibly still and silent. But they're so used to MC being around that MC can completely slip under their radar. MC's presence is a totally natural, constant part of their daily life. For better or for worse, they're too used to it.

They're just chilling in their room, doing whatever, until MC coughs. It really spooks them. Maybe they jump a little.

"How long have you been there?"

"I came in, like, three hours ago."

"What have you been doing that entire time?"

"I dunno, just... sitting here?"

"The whole time?"

"Yeah."

👀

[obae-me]

Lucifer: I had to leave my meeting with Diavolo for this. It better be important.

Asmo: We can't get MC to stop crying!

Mammon: Nothin' we say will help. You gotta do something!

Lucifer: Fine... MC, whatever is the matter?

MC: ...Cerberus will never-- will never get to experience the joy of sticking his little heads out of a car window on a drive...

Lucifer: ... ... ...

Mammon: Lucifer?

Lucifer: ... ... ...

Asmo: Oh dear... I think they're both sad now...

[nextstopparis]

i really like the hc that magic loved arthur and protected him until merlin came into the picture but very specifically bc it means his idea of like. the laws of physics and How Nature Works would be completely warped. the reason why all those miraculously falling branches didnt raise any questions? its been happening to him his entire life