#questioning demi

[jaygubz]

Sameeeeeee

TW Eye Strain

[gray-ace-space]

mini-survey

[mako-neexu]

guda has walked through so many hells that when ushi gozen said that the only 'living' person in the singularity is guda themself i definitely doubted it as she just said only the dead can walk on the land as it is hell itself. and being surrounded by death, walking through many realms of hell and realms that are even considered as close to hell, you'll definitely be suspicious as to what guda even is at this point

[the-tortured-fangirl-department]

If I was Apollos Baby Mama that had to go trough nine months of pregnancy and birth just to find out that Apollo can do it himself I would be FUCKING PISSED

[lover-of-mine]

I had a theory I wanted to share but bear with me while I get to it.

Thinking about how now we know for sure Eddie & Marisol are actually having sex regularly got me thinking about how Eddie & Shannon's problem was never their sex life and wondering how/if that plays into Eddie being with Marisol? Because we know things never seemed to click with Ana both emotionally and physically but they are clicking physically with Marisol up until the whole nun thing after which Eddie seemed to be like "well I guess we'll break up now" but didn't seem too devastated by it? If anything he felt more like someone in the beginning of relationship not someone after months of dating & then moving in together. Which of course they decided to slow that because he realized they were going too fast but he said he really wants this time to work out but I'm not seeing a convincing reason why? They're friendly sure & having good sex I guess but what's their emotional connection? How close actually are they? I'm having a hard time understanding it. But this is only his like 3rd ever relationship right? He doesn't have a lot to compare it to & so maybe because he clicked in a way he didn't with Ana that maybe reminds him of what he had with Shannon? Except he & Shannon were best friends, they had a deep emotional connection in addition to a pretty good sex life. So I don't know but maybe Eddie is thinking they needed to move in because it would help them get closer and now maybe they need more time or something? We know he hates dating and feeling like he needs to perform so maybe it's like this is the first woman since Shannon he's able to/enjoys sleeping with so he figures that must mean something more? And I love the idea of he's never considered men being an option before and him now starting on that journey or realizing he did like men or at least Buck and he's now realizing Buck could be an option, like any of those theories and then realizing maybe what he's actually missing in his relationship with Marisol he already has with Buck and realizing he can also have that good sexual part of it (not that he has to but it does seem important to him) too. Because for all of the problems that he & Shannon had they did love and care about each other. I like to think if she'd lived they would have still gotten divorced & actually settled into a solid friendship with each other. But that's neither here nor there.

Is this a crazy stretch? Maybe. I'm just trying to make sense of it all. And I'm a Buddie girlie at heart always so it makes me feel more hopeful.

No, I'm actually with you here. I think Ana was just the first person he thought he could latch onto back then, and she was pretty and nice and Chris liked her, so he thought he could learn to love her eventually. I mean the show does imply that eddieana had sex. I know we like to joke they didn't, but the show very much does imply that with the "you really like to dress me up" "and the other thing" comment at the store before the first panic attack. But they weren't clicking emotionally and we didn't see them connect physically, so Eddie was just "sticking it out". Shannon, the sex worked and I did know how to talk, I don't think you can fight the way they did if you don't know each other. Shannon knew exactly how to disarm Eddie. How to say the thing that would get him questioning his actions. So even if we didn't get to see a lot of moments in their marriage where they were just happy, we know they had good sex and we know they knew how to talk. With Marisol he seems to be connecting with her physically, but he can't seem to connect with her emotionally, because we don't know anything about Marisol because the impression they are giving is that Eddie doesn't know a lot about her. He could have thought that the shock of moving in would bring them closer and then make the relationship better, there is an argument to be made there. And like, he says he really likes her but his brain went to the break up route and he didn't seem that devastated about it. It is canon information that this is Eddie's 3rd relationship, assumed 3rd person he slept with. So he doesn't have a lot of reference points. Which is why he keeps chasing Shannon. But I also think that enough pent up sexual energy can make people see more in a relationship than there actually is, good sex doesn't equal a good relationship (just look at Buck and Taylor and the way they had the chemistry but lacked everything else). But Shannon worked because they had both the friendship and the chemistry. If Shannon was still alive I think they would very much learn to be friends for Chris' sake and eventually settle back into the friendship and figure out who they are together while better equipped to handle what's being thrown at them. But he's lacking the communication aspect of a good relationship with Marisol. He doesn't have the friendship. He does have the friendship with Buck though. And I guess having sex with men in general never occurred to him (but as a demisexual Eddie believer I think sex is not something he worries about a lot unless it's actively creating problems in his life like in merry exmas and you don't know me, both episodes who contain the two sex scenes that lead to problems in the relationship, and it is an interesting way to create problems on Eddie's relationship by calling back to that conflict with Shannon that eventually led Eddie to let Shannon back in but literally led to him kicking Marisol out, also interesting that he sneaks Shannon out of the house and leaves Marisol alone in it) so he never thought about having sex with Buck specifically, but I don't see how Eddie could go "oh maybe I want to have sex with men?" and not instantly attach that to Buck too, because he's Buck. Considering the way I don't think Eddie knows how to qualify who Buck is to him, but does have Buck stored away as the person he trusts the most, I think that attraction to men would instantly attach to the safest person, and that's Buck.

But the question is how they are gonna handle his sexuality. I don't know if they are ever gonna explicitly label him, or Buck for they matter, on the show, but on a meta level Buck is being thought of as bisexual and they are adding to the pieces that are already there to make Buck a bisexual man. I have no idea where Eddie's sexuality is going. I can give you an argument for that man to be demisexual and/or demiromantic with the last episode. The fact that he didn't know that aspect of her killed his boner and his excitement with the relationship. So much so he had to go back to the getting to know her step. But is the show ballsy enough to have a character like Eddie be demisexual? Are they ballzy enough to make the womanizer bi and the single father ace? I don't know. Probably not. I think Eddie has a complicated relationship with sex. Is it the religious trauma? Is the demisexuality? Is it both? ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ I also think that that complicated relationship with sex makes it harder for him to want to date, because dating comes with expectations. He's clearly not romance or sex repulsed, but he does have trouble connecting on a deeper level with these women. He doesn't have trouble connecting with Buck. I think if you plant the attraction to men seed with him, his brain would fill the empty space with Buck. Kinda in the same way he keeps trying to match these women to Shannon. So he could get there. He can absolutely get there. I see this being a route to be taken. I don't know if the show is brave enough to do it though.

[avenpt]

Hi there, I'm demisexual (or at least somewhere on the asexual spectrum)... but I recently became friends with someone. I rarely get the "hots" for people... but they're a super hot twink.

Is this normal to feel? I don't feel sexually attracted to people unless if I have a solid amount of trust with them... but is this just an exception? I'm so confused!

Hello, anon! Thank you for your question. It's quite possible that this is just an "exception" to your usual amount of time that it takes to form a bond. Everyone is different, including every demi. Sometimes it takes years to form that emotional bond that's needed for sexual attraction, and sometimes it's a lot shorter. Never know! Either way, you're you, and it's totally ok to feel this way. It doesn't prevent you from identifying as ace or demi if you still feel those labels fit! Labels are meant to help you, not force you into a box. :)

[getitoutofmymindwrites]

I have so many questions. Who did Joel cheat on reader with?!? Is there a backstory on his perspective?!

Oh, sweet anon,

indeed, there is a backstory on his perspective and we're gonna dive in it on the next chapter..

As for who the woman was, I left it purposefully vague, because the point for me was that we're all accountable only for our own thoughts, words and actions. It doesn't matter what the other person does, but how we react to them..

You can picture whoever you feel more aprropriate for the "job" (😅😆) in order to explain Joel's actions; maybe I'll reveal my take as to who the woman was in the next chapter, so we can better understand his mindset..

[x-heesy]

𝚄ǝɯɐ ʎ𝚙𝚘𝚘𝚕𝚚 👑

𝙸’𝚍 𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚋𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗 𝚋𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚘𝚌𝚒𝚎𝚝𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚏𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚋𝚎 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎. -𝙳𝚎𝚖𝚒 𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚊𝚝𝚘

𝙽𝚎𝚠 𝙶𝚘𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝙵𝚞𝚌𝚔 𝚋𝚢 𝙳𝚘𝚗 𝚈𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠 🎧

[sillyunknownkitkat]

what is the sexuality where you're gay as hell but still attracted by the opposite gender (only in mind like not irl) ?

I don'tknow if this makes sense, but we're lots on tumblr so hopefully someone can help me :)

[nomattertheoceans]

Y'all I'm not going to lie, all the gifsets kinda make me want to get into Percy Jackson??

[gray-ace-space]

Kind of a mini rant for a second but I feel like that Chris Flemming "was anyone going to tell me?" meme in kind of a fuckton of ways since becoming more aware of just how much ace is in my grayace self

that most people find sex very actively appealing a very large amount of the time??? Like they're not just kinda neutral about it as a default???

That most of the times I've thought "I have a crush on this person" it's just been aesthetic attraction the whole damn time???? Like thinking "oooh pretty"/"Oh no, they're hot" is not usually where it stops for people 99% of the time???

That I don't have amazing self control regarding avoiding teenage pregnancy/ abstaining from sex because of a medication/ not cheating/ stupid sexual purity shit that I was adjacent to bc yay deep south, like my controller was apparently just never fucking plugged in, like it's pretty damn hard to loose a game you aren't playing

Most people find nudity very very very appealing? Like they don't neutral to negative about it??? Like not because I think anything inherently negative about their body I'm just less interested in it naked?? Is that even an ace thing or am I just weird???

Tbh I'm not even sure how gray of an ace I even am bc of all this, like I think there's some gray area, like I've felt some quick pangs of sexual attraction I think??? idk??? I thought the other parts were pretty standard before now so idk???

Like I'm sorry for semi ranting and I know everyone kinda has to figure themselves out for themselves and labels are there to help not define, but like do you have any advice for any of this?

my guy (gender neutral). you are ace as hell.

hahaha no but let me go through these point by point so we can compare notes.

"most people find sex very actively appealing a very large amount of the time" - is that true??? are we sure that's real??

"most of the times I've thought "I have a crush on this person" it's just been aesthetic attraction" - well i get very strong romantic crushes but. any time i say someone is hot i just mean they look cool and i wanna look at them a bunch. maybe some sensual attraction gets mixed in and i like, wanna touch them as well, non-sexually. so. definitely feel u on that

"I don't have amazing self control regarding..." - YEAH. THAT. YEAH. (i was not really deep in the purity culture stuff but as a young teen i was like. what the hell is wrong with everyone. can't they be normal like me)

"Most people find nudity very very very appealing?" - i honestly quite like nudity in a completely not sexual way, just like a body positivity way. maybe it's cause my mom raised me to not be weird about nudity, it's very chill to me and i think most people are beautiful. but i do not have a connection in my brain between nudity and sexual attraction. i do not care. not once in my life have i looked at someone i liked and thought "oh i would like to see them naked". so, is it an ace thing? probably yes

"I'm not even sure how gray of an ace I even am" - this is probably the one where we most diverge because i do actually feel strong enough sexual attraction that i can't mistake it for anything else. it's just that, i think i'm demisexual. so it's for like. 5 people. ever.

are you gray or not? who the hell knows. maybe ur dark gray ace, maybe i'm light gray ace. but i relate to a lot of what you said! it's fucking wild to unpack this stuff. i do not understand allos at all. i'm glad we can agree on that.

[seraphskater]

Couldn’t get Rhea’s purple fit out of my mind 😭

[wyattjohnston]

putting feelers out for a Valentine’s themed thing where I throw prompts out into the wild, writers claim them and write them

don’t think i’d cap it at one writer per prompt or anything, nor would it be something I hold anybody to or like penalise for non-completion

just want to do something fun that isn’t an exchange when the current one will have barely finished without becoming overwhelmed by requests myself

[xcherryerim]

why am i questioning my sexuality rn BRO I NEED TO DO CLEANING STOP

[huh-enheim]

I'm not a regular watcher of BOLDcast, but ever since someone sent me a link to their Dungeon Meshi videos I've been fascinated by their perspective as anime-onlys--their speculation sometimes raises questions that still feel surprising and insightful to me as someone who's finished the manga.

[campwillowpeak]

I'm currently jumping in and out of the closet because I'm so confused and can't make up my mind I keep thinking I'm one thing and then I think I'm another mama please help

This is also fine!

Some people's process is smoother than others! And thats perfectly normal uvu

Just take a breath and and take it one day at a time, there's nothing wrong with flipflopping or even going under multiple labels until you find that fits you!

And even then if you think you find one that fits you and then 3-4 years down the line you feel its not quite right and wanna hop to another go ahead! You do you and do what feels comfy!

Its all a never ending, swirling spectrum bay-beeee