#simping for

[kalekare]

Things I need to see Kathryn Hahn on:

🌶 hot ones

🍸 day drinking with Seth Meyers

🤌 hosting SNL

🍑 my face.

[prlssprfctn]

Batsiblings convince Jason to get himself a cooking Tiktok account, and he gives in. To his surprise, he quickly gains millions of followers and a loyal auditory. The only problem? Jason has no idea that these people came here not necessary for recipes.

Jason: Geez, my followers had been pissing me off lately.

Dick, confused: Huh? Why?

Jason: They keep commenting ATE. Like, dude? Fucking where? I am not eating in my cooking videos. What is the fucking point?

Tim, choking: Oh my fucking God-

Jason, making an angry text post for his followers: YOU ALL. STOP COMMENTING "RAW". MY MEAT IS NOT RAW. I AM A PROPER COOK. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???

Cassandra: Maybe it is time to tell him...

Tim, Steph, Duke, in unison: NO

Bruce, awkwardly trying to have a conversation with Jason: Hey, lad, how is your cooking blog is going?

Jason: Uh, people keep commenting cryptid messages. Like, the last time I was showing the right way to tenderise meat for chops because apparently it wasn't clear and someone requested the whole video? Anyway, I did it, and the whole comment section was writing me "in bed, on the floor, on the couch, on a chair, against the wall, against the window, against the door"... Like, why would I do that, not in the kitchen?

Bruce, no less clueless: Maybe it some kind of challenge. Kids love trying new stuff in extreme places nowadays.

Jason: Huh. Maybe. Thanks.

Bruce, just proud to have a proper conversation and somehow a help: Anytime, Jaylad!

Damian, who was unblissfully educated on the slang matter by Tim (because it was his responsibility as a big brother to traumatise him), with his eye twitching: ...None of these words were in Quran

[tis-the-boards-season]

I just saw a theatre almost entirely full of men very audibly gasp and/or moan at the site of a shirtless Hugh Jackman and let me tell you it was a religious experience

[bibbysstuff]

S in Sylus stands for Simp

[arcanegifs]

ARCANE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS: 2x06 - “The Message Hidden Within the Pattern”

[haley-harrison]

Calypso: The stars are beautiful tonight.

Odysseus: You know who else is beautiful?

Calypso (blushing): Who?

Odysseus: Penelope.

[blitzy-blitzwing]

I saw Husk with glasses and I needed to make a comic. :V

[olya-roo]

ITS BEEN 60 YEARS MAN

COME ON

[sarakipin]

He's only good at poison... 💀

[talyris]

Genderswap! Harry Potter

[kalekare]

AGATHARIO ONESHOT

(I just have a lot of feelings okay. My first attempt at fanfiction so be kind. The inner turmoil of a witch in love with Death)

______

The flight feels like liberation after three years nailed to the ground. 

Agatha does not share Lilia’s abhorrence for hexenbesen; her pragmatism outweighs any lingering disdain toward the old halloween aisle clichés. If her life has proven anything, it’s that no tool, however co-opted by humanity, can not serve as a means to an end. 

The same is true of people. Although Agatha has no particular affection for the living, they too are necessary cogs in the machines of life. Take, for example, the collection of bedraggled hags with whom she now walks the road. They are witchfolk’s discarded detritus: a kooky beldam, a new age mystic, mommy issues incarnate. Powerless, saurian insects of witches. 

Agatha, too. Though she will never admit it. 

She straddles the misshapen limb, body lunged forward to gather speed. The squalls and hollers of her moth-eaten syndicate settle in the base of her skull, distorted by the rush of eventide air that presses like daggers into her ears. It is a booming quiet that slips away as she raises above the velarium of forest and into the carmine glow of a Herculean blood moon. 

When she is sure she has saved herself, Agatha looks back to the bohemian trail of bodies that emerge from the murky depths. Even Teen has managed to keep up - unsteady but feigning confidence in his first flight among the damned. Agatha purses her lips at the sight of Lilia, at one with the broom she rejected moments before. Alice and Jen fly side-by-side like school girls. 

Beside her, Rio arches her back and closes her eyes against the red-wine moonlight which spills across her olive skin like blood. The horror of her beauty, a savage history painted across her eyelids and lips. Every moment across the centuries that they had together stolen life and bathed naked in the ichor. 

Agatha does not look away. She drinks her in, inch by inch: the gentle curve of her jawline, the way her cupid’s bow traces the journey from supple upturned nose to softly parted lips. Her hair, raven dark, disappears against the midnight milieu save the whisps that flutter against the wind and rest upon her face. 

That face. That haunting, malevolent, beautiful face. 

Agatha’s heart speaks independently inside the mold-ridden confines of her mind. To die, here and now, alongside that face would be no death at all. 

In a moment, she remembers who she is supposed to be and quickly turns away.

[aivy-saur]

I REFUSE TO DIE DOING PLATES SO I SHALL SQUEEZE IN SOMETHING TO KEEP ME SANE 👹👹👹

☆ But mainly for @le-monchou ;))

[deunmiu-dessie-sideblog]

lmao thinking about how the tf141 men know you're serious by the way you say their given names. like they just turn docile immediately, no matter what they're doing or their positions.

“kyle, johnny, zip it.” swiveling in your chair, you turn your gaze towards them and glare, lips set into a thin line. the two men who sit next to each other stop their quiet bickering and nod softly, focusing on laswell once more.

ghost usually avoids doing med checkups when the time of year rolls around and it just ends up making the medical professional's jobs harder than it needs to be (they usually come to you in order to get him to do it.) “simon, i’m not in the mood. now.” he sulks and broods (swears he doesn't.) but nonetheless does the med check up, that you sit in on so he doesn't run.

price isn't exempt from it either, despite being captain. during a mission including farah and her people, the two had been going back and forth on the trek to the meet-up point. annoyed you had stopped price with a hand to his chest and met his eyes. “john, leave it alone. we don't have time for this.” he’d kept eye contact for a bit but had nodded, clapping you on the shoulder. “heard, seargent.”

ppl call you the 141 whisperer 💀 lolll

[miriammctroi]

James, 16,: Would you still love me if I was a Worm?

Regulus, 15, rolling his eyes: Yes, but I'm not proud of it.

Regulus, 19: Would you still love me if I came out as a man, burn all the pretty dresses you like on me, cut my hair you are obsessed with, change my name and my body?

James, not missing a beat: I would carry you around after your surgery. I would take you shopping and spoil you rotten. I'd take you to a tailor so you can get your clothes exactly how you want them. I'd pay for every surgery, document change, hormones, clothes. I'd throw you a gender reveal party. I'd call you handsome and beautiful through any and every questionable style choice. I'd make you my husband and I'd be very, very proud of that.

James: I'll love you for as long as I live, no matter what you do or who you want to be, my darling. Always and forever.

Regulus, close to tears: k, just checking.

[vaggieslefteye]

VEROSIKA MAYDAY, Succubus Pop Star | 2x09 - Apology Tour

"Blitz, there is a crowd full of people here who cared so much they throw an entire fucking party about hating you every year! Do you know how much you have to care to do something as stupid as that?"