#so that might happen again but just in different ways

[academiaviktor]

[pining, returned affection, nsfw, penetration, cum kink?, mentions of belly bulge, boyfriend Choso]

[wc: 2k]

[Continuation of this post]

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

With anything unrelated to his brothers, Choso was mostly unbothered. Half the time, he didn’t know what he was doing or what he was supposed to be doing.

He only knew his younger brother Yuji was doing his best to acclimate him to normal human society.

He also knew that Yuji was his direct line to you.

The incredibly talented jujutsu sorcerer he introduced him to that one day. The day that altered his perception of everything.

That was the first time he had been bothered in a different way. A good way.

At least, he eventually came to realize it was good.

At first, his heart was beating so fast in his chest that it started to worry him. He wasn't sure what was happening, or why he was finding it hard to breathe just from looking at you. Just from receiving a warm smile from your lips.

Of course, Choso could feel human emotions. He typically felt only a slim few, and all had to do with his brothers. Otherwise, he was apathetic. Uncaring. He was a tool to be used, and a shield for his brothers.

But you? You made him feel everything at once in the most agonizing way. You seemed to offer him the complete human experience by uttering only a few pleasant words of greeting.

Afterward, Yuji gave Choso a similar shpiel to Fushiguro's—don't bother. She may be incredibly friendly and kind, but you'll never have her.

Choso never let those words sink into his skin. He was too stunned to even understand what was happening to him.

But after that day, his heart burned in a way it never had before. He just wanted to see you again. To hear you speak, even if he was too anxious to say anything back. He needed to be near you, and that urge became so strong, he found himself jumping at the chance to join Yuji and his friends whenever they went somewhere fun, all for the chance that you might be there.

Luckily, you typically were if you had the spare time. And god, Choso was getting more sick every time he saw you. At least, that was how it felt.

Boba shops, cafes, cinemas, carnivals, and everything in between, if you were there, so was he. If you were smiling and laughing, so was he.

Choso didn't know the first thing about love, and there was something about it that scared him.

But when your flirtations became more physical—the brush of your arm against his, linking together arm-in-arm to whisk him somewhere interesting, or when your fingers would just barely touch—Choso could feel himself crumbling.

That heart of his, once only warm for his brothers, was beginning to beat at a different rhythm. It was syncing up with yours, whether he knew it or not.

When it became too much, that was when he approached Yuji.

He did his best to hide how much his hands were trembling even while he spoke to his brother about you, and his throat felt impossibly dry.

"Hey...um, Yuji?"

Yuji hardly looked up from the movie he was fixated on. "Yeah?"

Choso swallowed back his apprehension, aware that he had no experience of his own, but his younger brother grew up with humans and their strange emotions. Surely he would understand.

"What does it mean when your heart beats strangely around someone, or if you get nervous around them?"

Yuji shrugged. "Usually that means you like them."

Choso furrowed his brows together. "Like them?"

"Mhm. You can like someone in a friendly way and be normal around them, but if you're not, then that means you like like them. You know?" Yuji explained, still watching the tv. "If you really like them, then you probably want to be near that person, or hold them or something."

Choso kind of understood what this like like was, but he didn't understand why it hurt. Why it burned and ached.

But he did know that feeling existed inside of him for you.

"I think I like y/n then."

Yuji went quiet for a moment, then he mumbled, "Are you sure?"

Choso scratched the back of his neck, feeling as warmth moved into his face. "I enjoy being around her, and as you said, I'd like to be near her more. I wouldn't mind holding her too. What should I do?"

He assumed Yuji was only considering the options, not completely breaking on the inside. He had no idea his younger brother was actively pushing back the urge to explode on him.

"...you should ask her how she feels..." Yuji began, forcing the words out. "And if you're serious, ask her out on a date."

Unaware of the nuances of these kinds of things, Choso came out with it one day when he couldn't handle it anymore. When you smiled that smile at him and reduced him to a sappy version of himself he was unfamiliar with.

"How do you feel?" He questioned, walking alongside you on an aimless stroll around campus. His heart was in his throat, and he felt like screaming from how nervous he was.

You let out a humored sound. "I feel okay, I guess? Thanks for asking, Cho."

Cho. That nickname you gave him always made his head go woozy.

So much so that he almost didn't realize you misunderstood his question.

"Er...I mean...maybe I remembered it wrong," he murmured to himself, trying to recall Yuji's advice. His skin was growing hotter as he tried to get it right in his head.

"You all right?" You asked, growing concerned as you took in his fluster.

Not walking anymore, and face to face, Choso found himself desperate for the right thing to say. He tried to wrack his brain, aware that he might not have that chance again.

Ask her out on a date.

Those words hit him, and Choso brightened with a sheepish smile.

"Would you like to go somewhere with me...on a date?"

Your smile eased the burning fear he had in his chest. "Sure, I'd love to. I'm free right now if you already have a place in mind."

Your acceptance was the first sign of hope he needed, and to his relief, the date went better than he expected. After that, multiple other one-on-one outings happened, and before long, Choso found himself uttering the words he never expected to leave his lips.

"I love you..." Choso heaved, gripping your hips as he bucked into you, watching as his cock slipped inside of you again and again. He watched how your arousal made a cute ring around him, and how you seemed to take him so well. So eagerly. "I-I love you...I love you..."

It left his mouth like a chant as he rammed into your soaked pussy, in lustful agony over how perfectly you squelched for him.

As much as you wanted to say it back, you were too far gone already. He made you cum twice already, and he was desperately chasing after another.

But he didn't mind how you couldn't say it. You were already fucked dumb by him, and he knew the way you clenched around his length said it all.

From in his lap while you gripped the couch with one hand and held yourself up with the other against his chest, skin already slick with sweat and warm to the touch, you looked ethereal to him. Head tipping back with a slack jaw, body angled so that he had a perfect view of your tits, the sight of you alone was enough to have him bordering his next orgasm.

"Fuck—" Choso groaned, gripping harder and relentlessly sending his throbbing cock back into you, hypnotized by your velvety walls. "You're perfect...fucking perfect..."

Your moans sent shivers right through him as he squeezed you tight, unable to choke back his whimpers and gasps for breath.

Choso was normally so well composed and visibly unaffected by most things, but every time he found himself inside you, he became insatiable. Whiny and stumbling over his words. You just felt so impossibly good around him, sucking him in and embracing his cock with pure love and adoration.

He knew you had him in a vulnerable position. He knew you had far too much power over him, but he didn't care.

Choso knew what it felt like to fuck you raw, and it was impossible for him to be without it.

"...C-Cho..." you barely managed to say, trying to hold on through his relentless thrusts. It was hard to believe you had been the one riding him initially. You had been the one fucking him until he couldn't take it anymore, and he needed to let that unwavering desperation out.

Fuck, you were too much. Too compliant with his movements. Too whimpery. Too fucking perfect.

"Jus' hold on, baby," Choso mumbled gruffly, using everything he had left to push you closer to the edge. "One more...please. Give me one more—"

He nearly choked at the feeling of your plush walls clenching around him, milking him for everything he had. Heaving in his frantic breaths, he dropped a thumb to trace messy circles against your clit.

"I'm s' full already..." you babbled, eyes closed as more pleasure swept through you while his thick girth stretched you so completely.

"I-I know," he stuttered, pulling you down to force his cock against your cervix, ramming again and again as he admired the slight bulge in your belly from him. "Jus' one more. Fuck, baby. I need to fill you again—need you to take it like a good girl..."

The mix of skin slapping and your broken moans filled the room, emphasized by the mess already between your bodies.

His cum was everywhere already, but god, Choso loved it. He loved how it glistened against your skin and how it sounded when he shoved his cock back into you, bringing it along for the ride.

It was a reminder of how much you affected him. How your perfect pussy could make him cum over and over again, and he'd still be aimlessly begging for another.

Watching your eyes roll back as your whole body convulsed through your next orgasm was always enough to make him crack. Watching the woman he loved reach that state of euphoria all because of him was all he needed to slam his hips into yours one last time as he struggled to breathe, gripping and clutching you for dear life.

Like the perfect woman you were, you'd take another bout of his cum. Still just as abundant and enthusiastic, he'd shoot his thick ropes inside you, only adding to the mess of sticky fluid between you.

Choso's head always lulled back whenever he came, so drunk off how incredible it all was to be edging blackout territory.

Full of his cum and too exhausted to keep yourself up, you slumped against him while you both caught your breath. Instinctually, Choso wrapped his arms around you, keeping you close so that he didn't have to miss a second without you.

"T-thank you, baby," Choso whispered, mustering just enough energy to run a lazy hand up and down your back.

He didn't know when it started, but it was an endearing thing he tended to do whenever you entertained his belligerent deviancy. Whenever he'd fuck you way past the point of overstimulation, and yet, you'd still let him fill you with another load.

In every way, you were perfect. Far too perfect for him.

But still, all the while he tried to bring himself back down again, he silently thanked his brother for introducing you two. For bringing the love of his life to him, and making it all possible.

[astarionancuntnin]

Die For You

summary: the ascension changed the person Astarion was, or so you believed. you broke up and parted ways after defeating the netherbrain, thinking it was for the best, but when you see him again 6 months later at the reunion, you realize you never truly moved on.

and it seems neither did he.

rating: E

word count: 3.6k

pairing: astarion x you (fem!reader) (fic wide), shadowheart x you (chapter 1 specifically)

cw: 18+. angst, smut, porn with plot, porn with (some) feelings, ascended astarion, bad breakup, awkwardly avoiding your ex, alcohol induced sex, rebound sex (in the sense that youre trying to forget about your ex but you might have feelings for that other person too), oral sex, fingering, stalking, kidnapping, mild violence.

a/n: i have been working on this for over a month now, i have 2 other chapters also ready BUT im undecided on which ending i want for this, so yall get chapter 1 as a teaser, let me know whatcha think :eyes:

a/n²: this is the start of a long fic (my first one, phew)! i intend to update it weekly-ish, i GREATLY appreciate comments as it helps me test the waters on whats to come with it

read on ao3

or keep reading down below~

I thought maybe we would kiss tonight

Baby will you kiss me already and

Toss your dirty shoes in my washing machine heart?

Baby, bang it up inside

-

The ascension was complete. He actually went through with it. 7000 souls, gone. 

Astarion, The Vampire Ascendant.

He convinced you that it’s what was necessary. You thought this would bring him peace. It’s what he wanted. You loved him, and you would’ve gone to the ends of the world for him; in your eyes, after everything he'd been through, it's what he deserved.

“I can hear it at last, how all the lowly creatures of this plane are begging to serve.”

But now that it was done, you couldn’t tell if he was still him. If the vampire before you was still the same you spent that first night in the woods. That same one who admitted to have fallen for you. The same one who thanked you for taking a stand against Araj at Moonrise Towers. And if he wasn’t, who was he now? Did he have anything left from his previous self? And could you still love him if he didn’t?

"The world will stir in fear."

The walk back to camp that day was dreary. As Astarion walked ahead of everyone with his newfound confidence, you were dragging your feet behind the rest of your party. The weight of what you had done, slowly setting in. Your friends asked about your well-being and you reassure them all that everything’s fine! It was just a big day! And you simply couldn’t wait to finally rest. You didn’t have the heart to admit that you were regretting what you had encouraged Astarion to do.

Back at the Elfsong, you wave to your companions an early good night as you are heading to bed, before Astarion pulls you aside.

“My consort, we are so close to our triumph, I can almost taste it.” Even his tone was different. What you used to qualify as theatrical was now leaning towards dramatical.

You freeze and look at him dead in his eyes. Every part of you is looking for any proof at all that he was still himself. After all, you had no way to know if the 7007 souls sacrificed also included his own.

“Please don’t touch me,” your voice comes out colder than intended.

“Why so cold, dearest?”

You pull away from his grasp, “Just, what in the Hells happened to you in there?” The words come out of their own, tainted with sadness.

“Why, I became a better version of myself. The very best, dare I say. And I have no one else but you to thank for it.”

You scoff as you step back, not believing this new attitude he gained along with his ascension. “Whatever happened in there killed the Astarion I knew.”

“Good,” he lifts his chin in disdain, “he was weak and pathetic.”

“NO!” you almost shout, your voice cracking. “He was healing. I loved him. Whoever you are now embodies everything you hated in Cazador.” Each word of your last sentence is said with more venom than the last.

His eyes narrow with anger, “How DARE you speak his name?”

He steps towards you as a threat, and for a moment you see the violence in his eyes, but you stand your ground, not breaking eye contact.

“We’ll defeat the Netherbrain together. But after that, I want nothing to do with you.” you say, your anger matching his.

“So be it. If you’re too stupid to see what you’re losing, then you never deserved to have it in the first place.”

You give him one last angry look before walking to your bed, muttering to yourself as you feel tears swelling up. 

“Letting you go through with that ritual was a mistake.”

—

You follow through with your promise. With the Netherbrain gone and your tadpoles vanished, nothing kept you together anymore. You parted ways with all your companions, going out on your own, wherever your next adventure guided you. Finally, a normal life, or something closer to it, anyway. You did miss most of them, for what it’s worth; you considered them your family. You often wondered how Wyll and Karlach were faring in the Hells, and how Lae’zel’s quest to take down Vlaakith was going; you even considered offering your help at one point, but after ending things with Astarion, you needed to be alone. The breakup hit you harder than you expected, it left your heart with a void. He looked happy following his ascension, so why couldn’t you be happy for him? Why was this so hard on you? It’s not something you had ever experienced in your past relationships, usually able to move to the next one rather quickly. You didn’t naturally get attached to people, you used to think that nothing lasts forever, and relationships weren’t an exception. This damned vampire proved to you once again that you were right, although you wished for once you weren’t. He took up all your thoughts, and you had to do something to wash him away.

You occupied your time best by helping people in need, taking bounties left and right, roaming the lands and fighting monsters. Anything that would help keep your mind busy. It did work for some time, and as long as you were actively doing something, focused on the task at hand, but the moment the night set in and you laid to rest, you were back at square one. 

You felt guilty about Astarion’s ascension. 

It had been your one and only mistake. You let yourself be blinded by the rose-coloured glasses of your love for him, and although you meant well, you’re very conscious of the damage this decision had on him and potentially the city, but also the 7000 souls sacrificed in the process. Granted, they were already spawns and there was no way to save them from this fate, they could’ve at least have had a chance at living in the Underdark. Yes, you had saved the city – damages aside – lifted a curse, freed everyone and yourself from the Absolute, defeated the chosens of the Dead Three, but your mind always drifted to Astarion’s fate. What if you had stopped him? Surely, your life would be different now. You would be roaming the streets with him, probably. Maybe living together in the Underdark. He would’ve stayed himself. You would’ve been… happier.

When you receive Withers’ invitation to the reunion, it’s the first time in months you’re actually happy, excited even, to see your friends at long last, but also anxious. Your mind drifts to the vampire you used to love. Would he show up? Would he have changed at all? How has he been? 

Did he still think about you, too?

Looking forward to the night, you treat yourself out to a nice outfit from the local seamstress. You settle on a simple, yet elegant, black long dress with an open back. The summer night is nice and fresh ; you’re glad you went for a long sleeved dress. Your hair, which you decided to let down, also partially covers your exposed back, covering you from the breeze. You reach your old campsite to find out you’re the last to arrive, as you see all your friends already mingling. You decide to talk to Shadowheart first, as she was the one you missed the most, as you had grown particularly closer to her during your adventure. In another life, you would’ve been together, you think. You felt bad about not contacting her sooner, but her joy upon seeing you washes away all guilt. She greets you with a smile and a large embrace.

“Come here you! Gods, I missed you!”

You hold her tight, enjoying her strong hug. 

“Tell me everything! How have you been?”

“Oh you know, a few killings here and there, little shenanigans all around, I’m sure whatever you have to share is much more interesting.” You wish you could say something different, but your adventures really had been that bland. 

She rolls her eyes playfully at your deflection, “And how have you been feeling?”

“Greaaat, every day is a new adventure for me to discover.” You give a poor excuse for a laugh as an attempt to convince her.

She tilts her head forward and raises her eyebrow at you. She knew you better than you gave her credit for. “You know what I meant.” Her gaze points to the side behind you and you give a quick glance to see Astarion disdainfully looking at his surroundings, a silver cup in hand.

You sigh as you turn back to her, the facade falling at once. “I try not to think about it. I… hate what he became, but I feel guilty about it. I did take part in it, I could’ve stopped it, but I didn’t.” You cross your arms, recollecting your thoughts. “I still miss him nonetheless and it’s… frustrating. Maybe I shouldn’t have come. Seeing him again so soon is more difficult than I originally thought.”

“Did you talk to him?”

“I was actually trying to avoid him,” you confess.

“And you think that's healthy?”

“It's the only way I'll be able to move on.”

“And how’s that been going?”

“I–” You’re unable to answer her, the truth being that it was going horribly.

She grabs you by your shoulders, bringing your attention back to her, “Hey, you know if you need anything, I’ll be there for you.” You smile, sheepishly, as she brushes your hair behind your ear, softly cupping your cheek. “And if you’re looking for some company to take your mind off of a certain vampire, well, I would be glad to offer mine.”

You get lost in her eyes, with her hand soft and warm against your skin. Her invitation is tempting, and your gaze falls on her lips as you speak up.

“Yeah,” you breathe out. “I wouldn’t mind the company.”

“Come meet me when the party's over.” She smiles back, before walking away. 

You spend the rest of the night catching up with all your friends, always keeping an eye on Astarion, but never daring to approach him.

As the night settles down, you bid your close friends farewell and sneak out two bottles of wine to share with Shadowheart as she walks you to the inn she’d been staying at. The road is peaceful, and you reminisce about the past with the cleric, indulging in the leftover drinks you stole from the party. When you finally reach the inn, you're both a giggling and stumbling mess, empty bottles of wine still in hand as you enter her room.

As she closes the door behind her, you hear some patrons through the walls yell at you to shut up – it was late and your entrance had been pretty noisy – and you mockingly hush your friend, pressing a finger on her lips.

“Shadoooow, shhhhh” you whisper, your speech slurred. “You’re bothering people.”

“Oh, I’m bothering people? Care to remind me who stumbled their way up the stairs?” She says, laughing, her cheeks blushed by the alcohol.

“Hey– it’s not my fault their steps are so high and your room is so far,” you pout.

“Oh, my apologies,” she takes on a chivalrous tone. “Does my lady require assistance to reach her bed for the night?” 

You answer, matching her tone. “That would be most welcome, dearest.”

You squeal as she picks you up in her arms with an impressive strength, and carries you to the large bed. You giggle when she drops you off, and she leans over you.

“Is my lady satisfied with my service?”

You fail to keep a straight face when you answer. “Most definitely. Thank you, my liege.”

She smiles back softly before crashing next to you, both of you staring at the ceiling, taking in the first moment of silence of your night. A second later and your mind is already thinking about Astarion and you sigh heavily. Your companion instantly notices your change of mood.

“It’s him again, isn't it?”

You groan, grabbing your hair in frustration. “Was I wrong? To let him go through with that damn ritual? Why does he get to live his best life and I’m still feeling awful abo–”

She cups your cheek and pulls your face close to hers, cutting you off with a kiss. 

“How about we get to work on ‘forgetting about him’, hm?”

You nod slightly as you stare into her eyes, and she grins, her hand curling around your neck before crashing her lips against yours once again. You moan into the kiss, feeling the heat spread across your face and to your chest. Her kisses travel from your jaw down to your neck. She pulls your dress down, gradually exposing your flushed chest, before pulling back to take a good look at you, her own face matching your colour.

“You blush so beautifully.” Her voice is soft like velvet, each word making your heart pounce, as she continues to kiss her way down your navel, eventually discarding your dress on the floor.

You hide your face between your hands, trying to conceal the warmth coming from your cheeks and she comes back up to take your hands in hers, revealing your flustered state.

“You’re too pretty to hide yourself like that,” she reassures you with another kiss. “Let me admire you.”

You struggle to keep eye contact as one of her hands makes its way between your legs, teasing your entrance. Her fingers slide easily between your folds, earning her a moan out of you. She finds your clit and rubs you softly, your entire body twitching in reaction to her touch, and you shut your eyes to focus on the feeling, throwing your head back. Shadowheart takes this chance to trace the curve of your breast with her tongue, closing her mouth on its peak and sucking over it. Her tongue works wonders on you, and you whimper as she lightly bites you. 

“Keep singing for me,” She says between kisses, her voice thick with lust. “I love the sound of your voice.”

Her name on your lips is like a prayer as she ravishes your breast, leaving a few love bites over your chest. She pulls back temporarily to remove her own clothing before climbing back in bed, resting between your legs. You barely manage to raise yourself up when she pushes you back down against the bed.

“Lay down love, and let me take care of you. Just the way you deserve it.”

She throws your legs over her shoulders and kisses the inside of your thighs, leaving more love bites and she makes her way to your cunt. Her tongue finally finds its way between your folds and she laps at your juices, making sure to lick you clean.

“Gods, you taste divine.”

Her hands dig in your thighs as she devours you and you arch your back at the sensation, taking in the feeling of her tongue entering you. Your hips soon follow the movement, wanting more contact, and she takes the hint, moving to your clit to give it the attention it deserves. You whine when she enters you with a finger, and a second one, slowly thrusting into you, as her tongue circles your sensitive bud. Your chest rises higher and faster as your breathing quickens, and she knows you're close. Your eyes are long gone, but she looks up to you, admiring your state before she speaks up.

“Let it go, love. Come for me.”

She sucks once more on your clit, her fingers pushing harder against that sweet spot inside of you. You throw your head back, grabbing the bed sheets at your sides as you scream her name with the remaining air in your lungs and a crashing wave of sensations washes over you. For a moment, your mind goes blank, there's nothing but pure bliss. You want to stay like this forever; finally at peace, content. As you come down from your high, your legs give out and you pant excessively, trying to catch your breath.

You feel the bed shift beside you and open your eyes to see Shadowheart lazily making her way next to you.

“But– what about you?” you ask, breathless and tired.

“You don’t think I enjoyed myself just now?” She laughs and kisses you. “You’re simply adorable.” She cups your cheek, brushing your hair away. 

“Tonight was all about you. Plus, I doubt you'd be able to accomplish anything in the state you're in. You can always make it up to me another night,” she grins and boops your nose, smiling tenderly, before snuggling against you.

You watch her as she drifts to sleep next to you, moments before you cave into your own exhaustion. For the first time in months, you get a good, restful night of sleep.

When morning comes, you’re awakened by a god-awful headache, the consequences of last night’s drinking catching up to you. On the bright side, you find Shadowheart wrapped around you from behind, with her face nuzzled in your neck. You smile and hold on to her arm around your waist, linking your fingers with hers. She awakens soon after and greets you with kisses on your shoulder. You turn around to properly kiss her good morning, but the pain throbbing in your head has you groaning and holding your head instead. She catches on quickly and casts lesser restoration on you, fixing your headache instantly.

“Thank you, doc.” You sigh, content, and turn your head to face her. “How will I ever repay you?”

“I'm sure you'll think of something.”

“Mmh, I might have an idea.”

“Oh?” She chuckles. “Colour me intrigued.”

You flip yourself above her, pinning her down before kissing her lovingly. When you pull away, you find her looking at you with the same lust she had for you the night prior. Her eyes fall on your lips before she speaks again.

“You should follow me on my next adventure. I think it would help you clear things up.”

You pull back, now sitting on her, as you take a moment to answer. “I have a few errands to run, but I might take you up on that offer.”

“I still have the room for a tenday,” she raises herself up on her elbows and gives you a pensive look before continuing her thought. “Let me know when you make up your mind.”

You get dressed up and kiss her goodbye, eager to go back to your own inn to get changed and take a much deserved bath. Since the room you had rented was yours for a few days, you might as well take the chance to shop around while you were there; you were in dire need of new equipment for your next adventures. You spend those days getting upgrades for your gear, and visiting the city. Day after day, something felt odd; you had the weird feeling that you were being watched. Every time, nothing would happen, and neither did you see anyone suspicious, but the feeling never left. One night, as you were making your way to your inn, that feeling only got stronger. The streets weren’t busy per say, but everyone you could see was minding their business, discussing amongst themselves. You pressed ahead to reach the inn faster ; maybe it was all in your head, but just in case your intuition was right, you didn’t want to take any chances.

As you turn the corner to take a shortcut in a back alley, two figures block your path. In the dark of the night, you can’t make out their identities, but their threatening auras are enough to make you back away. You bump into two more imposing shadows, somehow having managed to sneak up behind you, who quickly grab your arms before you can think of escaping. You try to fight against them but their combined forces pin you down almost completely. You were strong, you shouldn’t have had any issue fighting them off, but their strength almost felt… surnatural. If you had learned one thing during your misadventures, it was that when brute strength wasn't an option, you had to aim for their egos.

“Come on, four against one? How's that fair? Are you so weak that you can't face me alone? Let me get the chance to fuck you up, one after the other.” You smile cheekily, your blood running hot, ready for a fight. Karlach would be proud.

The bandits remain unphased by your taunting, with only one of them answering to your banter.

“We won't fight you. Our Master requested that you be brought alive.”

“Aw, poor lil pup can’t do anything without its master's permission,” you say, mocking them, and you laugh disdainfully at them. “You’re fucking pathetic.” 

The figure moves towards you and you’re slapped with a strength that would’ve made you fall to your knees, had you not been held by the two other goons.

“ENOUGH!” Another figure speaks up. “Remember the Master mentioned that she be left unharmed.”

You lift your head back up, your breathing ragged by your furor. “How about you bring me to that master of yours so I can show him who he’s messing with?”

You wish you could take back your words as another figure appears, stepping out from the shadows, this one all too familiar.

“Hello, my sweet.”

-

 Don't want this feeling, I can't afford love

I try to find a reason to pull us apart

It ain't working 'cause you're perfect

And I know that you're worth it

I can't walk away

[thatfrailsoul]

(these beautiful pictures are from Pinterest - I will leave the links to them at the end of this post for anyone interested ♡).

Slow down for a moment. Allow your heart to guide you, to tell you if there is really a message here for you and in which pile it hides... And whatever the answer is, feel free to listen to it or to let go. Remembering that whenever you will be ready or will have the need, your true message will find its way to you.♡

_

_

Pile one, the fool

Their heart, their soul, feels simply so warm and familiar. So sweet and loving that just a thought about them brings back your smile and hope. Coming into your life out of nowhere, they were able so fast to find space just for them and their light and pure soul. They mesmerize you, they inspire you. As no one really did before. Not to this point...

And there is a reason behind it, behind this pure joy in finding them and that lingering fear that what you've shared until now is all that there is in store for this bond. A reason that you already know and feel in your heart and that will keep you side by side through months, years, decades. Giving an opportunity and help for this connection to grow, adapting to all the phases of your lives, all the ups and downs, surviving through them all.

There is for sure a new beginning, a creation of a much deeper bond, or to be exact an evolution and growth of this one. But there are also many and many others that you don't expect now and that are hidden in the situations and moments in your life that you will go through or observe, as they and you will live them on your own. But both always staying here, with eyes focused on the person that it's already so precious for your souls. And ready to help and hold each others hands without any question, judgment or pity. Ready to support each other's journeys and ideas, dreams, no matter how scary those steps might look like for an uncertain and anxious mind.

All of this... simply because you are indeed a family. Perhaps not by blood, but surely by heart.

_

Pile two, four of wands

It is not a secret for you and them, all those ways that the time and this world keeps challenging your connection again and again. Your hearts one against the other.

But it's also not a secret that you are still and always by each other's side. The life bringing you back one to another, no matter what happens or how much your paths are being divided.

And what happened in all this time up until now... Is reflected by your future too. How much this bond will be able to help you to overcome, how much it will push you to grow and mature through all the ups and downs that characterize a connection. But remaining always the same and old safe place... so familiar and stable in the way nothing seems to be able to tear you apart or change the way you feel about eachother. A safe person that will always welcome you back no matter what.

Even if it will not become something more... Perhaps making it so pure and precious exactly because of that.

_

Pile three, ace of pentacles

They will come to you when you will least expect it. When you already surrendered to loving and appreciating the connection that you were able to create the way it is... They will come to you, surprising you with an opportunity for something more... But not quite what you hoped it to be.

And it will be simply so difficult to find the right way to handle things and them, their new feelings, and the shift that will arrive all of the sudden in your life... It will take time to accept it, accept them, and let go of that desire and hope for more. And especially of the frustration.

But it will pass, as everything does. And your heart will find peace, even reassurance, understanding at last that what they propose doesn't necessary need to be the end of your connection, only because it's different from what you hoped for... But it's actually its salvation.

A chance to still have them in your life, share many more beautiful and precious moments. Perhaps becoming someone even more important and present in each other's lives through many more days and nights.

_

(links to the pictures used in this reading)

_

[oceantruffle]

hotline | LN4

Characters - reader x Lando Norris

Location - I know Miami doesn't have any mountains but here I just felt like it so just go with it lol

summary - after being up and celebrating the whole night, you and Lando see the sunrise together.

A/N - It would be so nice if I had uploaded it before three days but I was very sleep deprived and the fact that I was in the middle of a forest for 4 days. anyways happy reading ✨

[y/n - your name]

Third Person's POV -

"I was meant to fly but Zak just told me we fly tomorrow so I'm not going to sleep. I'm going all the way. I might have more than just a scratch on my nose tomorrow, so I don't care, but I'll enjoy my time. This only happens once when you're taking your first win. It's nice to do it here in Miami,"

This was enough for you to know that the night is going to be absolutely crazy and wild. And you were very sure that none of you were gonna board the flight in one piece.

You were beyond the clouds. This was a feeling that no one could describe in mere words. The absolute bliss on Lando's face was ethereal. You could watch just him for eternity as he soaked up the sun on the podium. You were smiling so hard for so long seeing him this happy and you didn't realised that until your cheeks started hurting.

'I DID IT!' he had said holding the trophy towards you when he got back to the driver's room.

'YES!!YES YOU FUCKING DID!!' you said as you hugged him over the shoulders.

After 6 hours of clubbing and celebrating this sweet win with your boyfriend you had decided to go to a mountain top, alone. Maybe it was the alcohol which made the decision. You were more sober than him though. It was stupid. But nevertheless here you were now, sitting in the peaceful silence of the forest.

His head was in your lap and he could barely open his eyes. The alcohol was very heavy on his eyes. You both were freezing. Maybe not him since he had a jacket on but you definitely were cold.

You let your hand run through his soft curly hairs. A little chirp above in the tree got your attention. The stars in the sky above you had been staring had started disappearing. The dreamy dark night was filling with beautiful hopeful sunlight. That's when you realised it was morning. So it did happen. You were very happy for Lando. There are many more to come but wining this first one was a different feeling.

Lando was kind off in a passed out state but he was still very active and he quickly jolts his head when he hears little sniffs. Your tears fell onto his forehead as looks up to you.

'y/n?' he asked worriedly.

and when you sobbed a little louder he quickly sits back up to face you. 

'Baby?' he frowns. He got worried and all the exhaustion & sleep deprivation wasn't helping him much.

'What why are you crying?' he managed to frame a question,

'I don't know!' you sobbed.

'hey?' he said, his large hands cupping your face.

'I'm proud of you Lan. I'm so proud of you!' you smiled as tears rolled down your cheeks.

'Come here.' he said pulling you in his arms.

'Stop crying.' he soothed you.

'Please stop crying! haven't you already cried enough?' he said, now his own voice had started to break.

'Y/n?' he chuckled.

You look up to him to see his face and you see tears threatening to leave his eyes.

'I'm sorry! we're in the middle of nowhere, you're hungover, our phones are dead and i'm crying!' you shivered a little as cool breeze passes through.

'I love you y/n' he says.

'You deserve this Lando, You deserve the world..' you smile at him teary eyed.

'Thank you love!' he says softly resting his forehead against yours.

He wiped off your tears and kisses you on the forehead. You snuggled into him once again and watched the sun as it rises from the horizon.

There were countless times when you were up all night partying and eventually pass out in the morning. But this. This morning had something different in it. It had the feeling of glory, the joy and celebrations. You wanted to stay like that forever, in his arms. It was perfect and it wasn't a dream.

__________________

[word count - 875]

not edited

[nackrosor]

~ Childhood Sweethearts ~

[part 3/?]

Leon S. Kennedy x bestie!Reader

PART 1 | PART 2

warnings/tags: friends to lovers, roomates, pining, slow burn, eventual romance, eventual smut, reminiscing childhood memories series synopsis: You and Leon have been friends since you can remember. You've always been there for him, especially through the bad times. He's in a bad place again and he needs you. You're the only light in his pretty dark life. word count: 5k.

A smile lingered on your lips as you turned the corner and made your way to the kitchen. You could feel a newfound sense of joy pervading you at the memory of the excitement so plainly written all over Leon’s face when you agreed to let him move in with you. He did always look like a puppy when happy and you were sure that if you had squinted hard enough you could have seen his tail wagging enthusiastically back and forth.

“Heh”. You shook your head at the silly image, letting out a quiet giggle as you moved swiftly from one cupboard to another to get everything you needed to make breakfast.

He had never been able to mask his happiness, that much was true. Not when he was a child, not when he grew up. He could disguise any other emotion if he wanted to, and make it so hard for anyone to read him - sometimes you included - but he was so utterly incapable of masking his happiness. You’ve always wondered why… 

With a sigh you grabbed a tablespoon, put some coffee into the filter, added water and then leaned against the counter to watch the brewing start. A frown slowly crept over your features.

Perhaps… The answer was less complex than you might have thought.

Aside from the shared joyful recollections of your childhood years, there had never been much good going on in his life, even back then. There was no denying it: discovering that your parents are criminals, witnessing their murder, and becoming an orphan all at once couldn't be a healthy foundation for a happy life. As a result, when those rare instances of happiness do occur, they trigger such genuine and overwhelming emotions that one cannot manage to contain them. That must be the explanation.

Your fingers tightened around the edge of the counter as a vivid and powerful memory resurfaced to your mind.

One of that day. The day he was nearly taken away from you for the very first time.

You could still recall Leon’s blank face when your dad, a police officer at the time and the very one who had saved his life, brought him to your house to leave him in the care of your mother for a short while. You had no idea what had happened that day, you couldn't even imagine the trauma he had just gone through... But the instant you saw him, you could sense something was off, something was different. You dashed towards him and hugged him so tightly, only God knows for how long. And you were certain, even if you didn't realize it at the time, that he was quietly crying on your shoulder as he held you back. Yet, the image that had really carved its place in your mind and that you recalled the most vividly was how Leon pulled back from the hug and just… smiled. He smiled at you as if he was the happiest kid in the entire world. And you smiled right back at him. 

Hell. That memory always did bring back chills, every goddamn time…

“Sleeping with your eyes open?”

Leon’s voice caught you off guard and you glanced briefly up at him to see him enter the kitchen with a spring in his step, before you hastily turned your back and blinked the tears away. 

“Ha. Ha. I’m making you coffee, you should sound more grateful, you know?” you quipped back with a playful innuendo, hopefully masking the emotional trip you had just gone through in your head.

You busied yourself by staring down at the machine as if it would start brewing faster if you put pressure on it. You didn’t hear the rustle of clothes drawing nearer until Leon was standing right behind you, poking his head right over your shoulder.

You don't know what it was; the whole pot of coffee you drank to stay awake all night, the fact that you hadn't shut an eye in 24 hours, or the way that he was standing so close to you with his warm body literally pressing on your back... but your nerves suddenly gave up and you flinched hard, almost knocking the coffee machine off the counter. 

Leon promptly grabbed your shoulders to keep you steady, and even if you didn't look straight up at him out of embarrassment, you could tell he was concerned.

"Hey, I can handle it myself. There's no reason for you to stay up any longer."

His palms were so warm against your bare skin, his touch so comforting and familiar... The urge to simply lean into him and feel his soothing warmth was so strong, nearly unbearable. 

But, luckily, the machine beeped right then, and the brewing came to a halt, along with that awkward interlude you got caught up in. With a shake of your head, you took the bowl and focused on filling the Hello Kitty $1-deal mug you had purchased months ago but had never used; it was the only one you owned besides yours, so Leon would have to make do with it.

“You’re technically still a guest here, aren’t you?” you glanced up at him with a half-grin, grabbing the mug with both of your hands - just in case - and turned around to set it on the table. "So let me be the lady of the house and go sit your ass on that chair."

Leon shook his head with a silent chuckle and followed your orders opting for no rebutting, yet he couldn't pass up the opportunity to mockingly throw you a military salute. 

“Yes, m’am.” 

You gave him a pointed look, although the little smile playing on your lips sniffed out the playful nature of it. Turning your back on him again you grabbed the tray you had previously stuffed with all you could offer him for breakfast and placed it right in the center of the table.

“Bossy as usual, huh? Even when you’re about to collapse, you’re still hard as ever to reason with.” 

You could catch the affectionate hint in his voice and you couldn’t help but huff a chuckle through your nose. Once you grabbed the gallon of milk and a cup, you dropped on the chair opposite his and let out a long tired yawn.

“Especially when I’m about to collapse.” you eventually retorted, pointing the tip of your spoon at him as if you had just reminded him of a well-known fact before you smiled and nodded at the tray.

“C’mon, dig in.”

“I just want to make one thing straight-” he started and you glanced up from your half-filled cup of milk, taken aback by the sudden grave tone in his voice. He made sure to give you a long and meaningful look before he added: “I am grateful. For everything.”

You matched his expression, your stomach fluttering under the intensity of his gaze.

“I know.” you simply answered, no humor or mocking tainting your voice this time. 

Leon gave you a firm nod in return and then finally dug in his breakfast.

You joined him right away, grabbing some cookies, soaking them in the milk and shoving them in your mouth before they could flop and melt. All the while you kept on peering up at your friend, finding solace in the way he seemed to enjoy the food, munching and sipping with gusto as if he hadn’t had a nice meal in days. You wouldn’t be surprised if that was indeed the case.

“Mmm, this croissant is great!” he announced, giving it another good bite. “You made it?”

You almost snorted the milk straight out of your nose.

“Me??” Your eyebrows shot comically up to your hairline. You must have had such a weirded out look on your face that Leon couldn’t help but chortle and look away to avoid choking on his mouthful. “‘Sorry I burned the cake I made for your birthday and never tried baking ever since’, little ol’ me???”

You too tried to bite back a laugh as you watched Leon struggle to swallow the food and answer. 

“You were like 14…”

“Yeah and I’m still 14 in that regard. Me and baking it’s a no-no.” you quipped back, throwing him a sharp look that said ‘believe me, you don’t wanna know’. “The only thing I did to those croissants was stuffing them with nut cream.”

“Ah! That!” Leon animatedly wiggled his finger at you and nodded knowingly. “Yeees. That’s what it is, then. You stuffed it juuust right. And that’s a skill!”

You stared at him long and hard, a deadpan look on your face, until you couldn't keep it together any longer and burst out laughing.

“What a fucking dork!”

Leon seemed pleased with your reaction and grinned triumphantly at you. His eyes twinkled with amusement as he watched your laughter ease into a big smile.

“A veeery grateful dork who appreciates the efforts taken in putting together this breakfast.”

"Yeah. Yeah." You brushed off his attempt at flattery with a flick of your hand and resumed eating, although not before belting out another chuckle. “Kudos for trying, soon-to-be roomie. It won’t save you from all the future dish duty, though.”

You glanced up again mid-bite when you realized he was still staring at you. Your brows arched in an inquisitive look.

"What?"

“That sound…”

He smiled as your head tilted to the side in a perplexed twitch.

"Your laugh. I missed that."

"Ah."

You had to look away, afraid that the way his words had made your heart race would somehow show on your face. Sometimes your friend would say such touching things with such stark bluntness that you didn't know how to react. Especially without making it obvious how smitten you were with him.

“I haven’t heard it in a while.”

You grabbed your cup of milk and chugged it down in one big gulp merely to buy some time for your heartbeat to ease down.

“Well, you’ve been away for a while.” You eventually replied with a casual shrug and leaned back in your seat, arms lazily crossed over your chest. You focused your gaze on him, your expression turning a bit more serious. “Extra top secret mission?”

He just nodded, a dark look clouding his sparkling eyes and you knew not to ask any further questions. He wouldn’t have told you anything about it anyway. 

“The point is…” he started again and the clouds instantly faded back into a serene blue sky. “It brings back good memories. I've been thinking a lot about those recently."

You softly hummed along, your eyes roaming over his face as those heartwrenching words he had uttered earlier, made their way back to your mind. 

“I wish we could go back to the good days” he had said, “I wish it was always just you and me”, “ I wish that you were there for me all the time.” 

You could feel your chest grow heavy all over again at the memory of a distraught Leon whispering those heartfelt words to you and you had to force yourself to take a long, deep breath to regain some control over your body. You hadn’t had a minute alone since that serious and profound conversation you had with him, a moment to process it, digest it, take in all the very serious implications behind it. And thinking about it now, with your body working on energy saving and Leon seemingly feeling better, it wasn’t really the best of times. 

But… There was also something else that had kept swirling in your mind since you heard it escape his lips the night before. Something you just couldn’t shake off, no matter how hard you tried. You couldn't help but think that that very soft-spoken “I love you” he had whispered before passing out had sounded so genuine… As if he had truly meant it… And not in a platonic way.

Was it too pathetically delusional of you to hope he had truly meant it? 

“Y/N?”

Leon’s warm voice ripped you out of your thoughts and you hastily focused back on him.

“Hm?”

You were relieved to see the understanding look he gave you. You had been awake for a whole day now, you could be excused for zoning out for a moment without raising questions, after all.

“I asked you if… if you frequently think back to those times, too? To when we were kids, especially.”

“Of course I do. Everyday.” you admitted without hesitation, eyes widening slightly at how easily the words flowed from your mouth. Perhaps you had been too honest about it? Leon looked startled as well. 

No, actually… He seemed relieved by how direct and sincere your answer had been. 

He leaned back in his chair with a soft sigh, his eyes drawn to the tray in front of him. As his gaze grew distant, you dreaded what was about to come. Was he going to pour his heart out yet again, come up with some more gut-wrenching stuff that would most likely deliver the ultimate blow and send you K.O.? You would not withstand one more confession like the ones he had made already. 

Instead, you watched with a flutter in your chest as his lips curled up even further until a genuine smile bloomed on his face. His eyes twinkled with such vitality. That. That was a rare sight… and the most precious one to witness. You felt blessed and lucky to have seen it more than anyone else. 

"The cookies," he began, tipping his chin towards the serving plate of goodies. "They resemble those your mother used to make almost every day. I still remember that scent..."

He plucked one from the plate and brought it up to his nose to sniff it, as if he seeked to revisit that same aroma again. You grinned knowingly as his eyes widened and his entire face lit up with recognition. He looked at you with a silent query in his blue eyes, and you nodded, a cheeky grin spreading on your face.

“Yep. Mom made them. I’m quite honestly impressed you could still smell it on ‘em since they’re more than a week old. You have a bloodhound’ nose, I swear.”

“Heh. Comes with the job.”

“Huh-huh.”

No. It did not come with the job. He was born with it. You had seen it, and you remembered one time clearly when he had so blatantly made a show of it. You had spent the entire afternoon with a classmate, a nerdy boy who was forced to assist you with your math homework because you had been struggling that year. That same evening, when you met with Leon to play, he smelled that boy's scent on you, as if you had bathed in it. He appeared to be really upset about it. He sulked and moped and whined about it basically the entire time. That one memory always came back with a thrill of satisfaction buzzing within you. Leon had made such an uproar out of jealousy, that much had been obvious even to a very giddy 8-year-old you.

When you returned to the present conversation with Leon, you realized with a smile that he was still reminiscing about all the times you devoured those exact cookies for breakfast whenever he was at your place. You too remembered. You ate breakfast together at least twice a week. It helped to be neighbors on the outskirts; you could spend time together every day, multiple times a day, and you would always meet at your house, since his parents would leave Leon alone quite frequently. Much too frequently; at the time you still didn't know why. 

“-you ate them every day and yet whenever I had breakfast with you, you would always steal one of mine. Sometimes even two.”

You caught Leon throwing you a playful glare as he hit you with that nostalgic jab and you couldn’t help but giggle, a sly glint passing across your eyes.

It was true. You used to do that. But in your defense, you were a young, shy girl with a major crush on her best friend. It was always meant to be a very innocent way to grab your friend’s attention. Even then, all you ever wanted was to have his blue eyes trained on you at every waking moment. 

With Leon gazing down at the crusty pastry, seemingly lost in one of his reveries, you felt that it might be fun to relive that one memory just for the thrill of it. Leaning forward, with one quick flick of your hand you grasped the cookie right out of his fingers. The outraged gasp that he rewarded you with definitely made the childish deed worth it. But it was that look, that fond look he gave you that felt like the real reward.

“Like the good old times, huh?” You winked at him and bit back your silly grin as you popped the cookie into your mouth.

He shook his head, his lips pursed in a mocking, unimpressed grimace.

“Some people never change.”

And yet, he sounded pleased with it. There was something in his warm, humorless tone, in the way his sparkling eyes lingered on you as he said that, that caused your insides to flip and turn not once, but twice, with your heart missing a beat as well just because it didn't want to lose out on the fun.

You held his gaze for a few moments as you chewed on the cookie, until you felt your heart beg you to look away.

"Anyway…" You swallowed and cleared your throat, lazily settling back in your seat. Another yawn escaped you just as you reverted your focus on him, and you thought you caught him beaming affectionately at the sight. For your own sake, you decided to brush it off. “Now that you’re back, you should go pay my folks a visit. You know how my mom is. She’d bake you some of those cookies before you even have time to say hello. She'll give you a bag or two to bring home, too.” 

“Hm. It’s been quite a while since I last saw them…” He hummed and nodded along, a pensive look on his face. “We could go together.”  

“I g-guess, yeah…” you shrugged your shoulders and tried to mask the sudden raspiness of your voice by clearing your throat again. You hadn’t visited your parents together since that last lunch you had a couple of years ago at their house, when it really dawned on you just how serious your feelings for Leon were. You remembered that moment clearly, as if it had happened yesterday. Your friend was chatting amicably with your dad, making your old man laugh just as he always did. Your mom had that serene look on her face, that one she always seemed to have whenever Leon was around. And you? You were looking at the scene, taking in that precious image of a happy little family, soaking in the genuine love that oozed from each one of them… and your weak heart nearly combusted right then and there. You made a pledge to yourself that day: Leon or nobody. Because there was no one like him, really. No one that could make your dad so genuinely happy or your mother feel so safe and at ease. No one that would make your heart beat so violently in your chest. So you’d rather live your life with no partner at all than settle for someone who wasn’t him.

You just needed to find the courage to tell him. 

If only you weren’t such a big coward.

“But… since you’re moving in with me, you’ll probably see them soon enough.” you stated, trying to tune back into the conversation as if you hadn’t just gone on a mental tangent that had left your mind reeling and your heart aching. “You know, they have started to come visit me once or twice every month.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, but they don’t stay overnight or anything.”  you swiftly explained. Your tone took up a hint of humor as you added, “You won’t have to share one bed in three, don’t you worry.”

“Oh, I would leave the guest room to them anyway. I’d much rather sleep in your bed. It’s very comfy.” he quipped back with a smirk that made your stomach flip.

“Yeah… Dream on, boy.” 

To be honest, you had dreamed of that very same thing happening more times than should be socially accepted. There was no way you’d admit to that, though.

“They just come to say hi, anyway. To make sure I'm doing alright here by myself.” you said, veering the conversation back to a much safer territory. “But I’m quite sure they mainly come to these parts to get a taste of the city life, you know? They've been taking away some whim with dad’s retirement money, living it up a little now that they’re free and old but not that old.'' You paused to share a knowing smile with your friend; you both knew that if your parents had been there, they would have made such a scene over being deemed old. “They like to visit museums and exhibitions, mostly. They look like a cute elderly couple, arm in arm, bickering about the painting's meanings and all that. I know because I chaperoned them the first time.”

Leon listened to you with a fond little smile curling up his lips. Your parents had always been very dear to him for obvious reasons, even more so than your late aunt who had welcomed and taken care of him once he became an orphan and until he left for the police academy in his teens. He was so attached to them that you found yourself worrying more than once if he considered them his parents as well, and you his... younger sister. But you had always tried with all your might to shake the notion away from your mind. You'd get queasy just thinking about it.

“That’s good to hear. They should enjoy their life, now that they can.” He commented, fingers lazily fidgeting with the napkin on the table while he kept his attentive eyes fixed on your face. “We could do that too.”

Mild heart attack. 

“Huh? Do… What?”

“Go to museums, exhibitions and whatnot.”

Those words truly made you question whether he wasn't just messing with you, despite the fact that you hadn't picked up on any humor in his voice. Nonetheless, you tried to keep your heartbeat at bay while flashing him a skeptical look.

“But you don’t like any of that.”

"Sure. But you do."

Effortless answer, maximum hit to your heart. He had voiced it with such straightforward frankness that you were left genuinely speechless for a moment.

“I wouldn’t mind going with you.” He added, shrugging his shoulders, as if the answer was so obvious to him that it didn't even need an explanation.

“Huh… Riiight…” 

You eyed him curiously, warily even, ready for the punchline he must have been holding back. When none arrived however, your eyes narrowed and your lips pursed in a confused pout. "Have I fallen asleep? Am I sleeping right now? 'Cause that's not something the Leon I know would say." Your tone had a sardonic edge to it, for you were clearly retorting to humor to try to disguise the emotional turmoil he had caused within you with what he had said. Hopefully, it wasn't that evident to him too. “This must be a dream, or something…”

“Eh. Does that mean you dream of me?”

Fuck. You had walked straight into that one. You couldn’t even be mad at him for making your stomach flip like that or for flashing you that smug smirk of his.

With a half-groan, half-grimace, you slapped your hand in the air to ward off his joke and flopped on the table, laying your heavy head on your arms.

“Had a nightmare or two where you showed up, sure.”

That was a lame comeback, you knew it. Of course you knew. But, what else could you have said? You were too preoccupied with hiding your blush from him to come up with a better quip. At that point, you were also struggling to prevent your weary mind from blurting out something far more honest, which would inevitably ruin everything.

God. You truly were just too exhausted. And it wasn't only the sleep-deprived tiredness that was weighing on you, but also the 'I have to double-check every word I say and every little reaction I make so that my best friend doesn't realize I'm in love with him' load that was draining you. And to think this was only the first day of living together…

Well, actually not even the first day. You could only imagine what it would be like to go through this every day, for who knows how long. There was no way you could survive it...

You were too caught up in the webs that were plaguing your mind to register the strong pair of hands grabbing you by the middle before you were tugged out of your chair and lifted into the air.

When a shocked gasp escaped your lips, you were already securely enveloped by two massive arms as solid as steel.

Oh, you were certain. You were absolutely certain that your face resembled a tomato as you raised your wide eyes and met his lazy smile, given that you could feel your cheeks burning.

“The fuck-?!”

Leon snorted at your reaction, his eyes traveling across your face as if to enjoy your flustered state. "I thought you fell asleep," he joked, blatantly lying as he squeezed you playfully and started carrying you out of the kitchen toward your bedroom.

“Leon, god… really?”

That was so unnecessarily extra of him. He did that on purpose, obviously. As he had always done in the past. In fact, after his first year at the academy, he began to pick you up out of nowhere to flaunt off his buff and strong physique, and it only worsened over time. He would lift you up whenever and wherever he wanted, simply to annoy you... and make your stomach do a somersault.

“Don’t pretend like you didn’t always enjoy when I did this.”

“I always despised it with my whole being.”

Lie. Biggest lie you could tell. But then again, telling him that you adored how his large and muscular arms swallowed your frame, keeping you snug against his chest and carrying you effortlessly about, or how every freaking time he did that, he caused those stupid butterflies to wreak havoc in your gut, was definitely out of question.

"Huh-huh."

He smirked knowingly, seeing right through your snarky response. The amused glance he threw you compelled you to simply shut your mouth. At that point, you didn’t trust your voice anymore.

You tried to refrain from plainly staring at him the entire time. To not linger on his chiseled jaw, or admire his rosy lips, or the way they curled up in that familiar languid smile. You tried not to marvel at his focused gaze or his long eyelashes which made his eyes look even prettier from below…

You tried. But it was hard. Hard not to be dazzled by his effortless beauty, especially when his face had moved suddenly so close to yours, you could feel his hot breath blowing on your cheek.

You were locked in a daze as he eased you out of his arms and onto your bed. You couldn't tear your gaze away from him, even as he grabbed the blankets and tucked you in, ensuring you were well covered and comfy.

When your eyes met, you felt one of those all-too-familiar thrills rush through every cell of your body.

Oh, you were about to lose it. To do something crazy, something stupid…

Your breath caught when he leaned in again, his fingertips gently brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. He smiled at you, his eyes crinkling.

“Sleep tight, cookie.”

There was no way you could hold back the genuine grin that bloomed on your face upon hearing the nickname he chose to use. You had been calling each other in every way possible since you were kids; it was one of your favorite pastimes. ‘Cookie’ was a nice addition to the collection.

"Thanks, pup." you quipped back, eyes flashing with amusement and pure affection. "You gonna guard the house while I take a nap, yeah?"

"Like a good boy."

"Mhmm."

You exchanged one last lingering look that almost made you melt in a puddle - and you were glad you were already lying down because your knees couldn't have taken it - before he drew back and headed to the door.

"Dream of me." he teased you as he stood by the entrance, triggering a loud groan from you.

"Shut up-"

You rolled onto your side and hid your face in the pillow as he chuckled softly at your expense. You did not raise your head until you heard the door close. Only then did you let out a long, shaken breath. You could still feel your face burning, your cheeks warm to the touch, and your heart racing in your chest.

What a crazy day! And it wasn't over yet. You were both thrilled and nervous about waking up and spending more time with Leon. You'd need to help him move in, clear his room of your belongings, have a very serious roomie to roomie talk...

But everything would have to wait. Sleep was catching up with you and you had evaded it long enough. The coziness of your bed, along with the pleasant fuzziness still lingering in your chest caused your eyes to grow heavy within seconds. With a yawn, you rolled to the other side, where the sheets from the night prior remained unmade. Your hand lazily clutched the other pillow and pulled it closer. 

His scent. It still carried his scent… You nuzzled your cheek into the fabric and took a long breath.

A fond smile tugged at your lips as your eyelids fluttered closed and you dozed off.

MORE STORIES

[Also consider BUYING ME A ☕ if you particularly like what you read. Thank you! 🥀]

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Epel, Cater: With Open Arms

ashldbasiyaod Sorry for getting your birthday fic out late, Epel 💦

I couldn't find anything in the vignettes to hone in on as the major topic for his convo with Cater... so I made up my own little tale based on the painting in Epel's Groovy illustration and used that as a jumping off point. Hopefully you still enjoy!

A Tale as Old as Time.

Red was not Epel's color.

It was too bright, too bold—and yet he felt his eye drawn to it. The color, a magnet with a pull too strong to resist.

There.

A fair maiden, her eyes shut, cupped the fruit in both hands. Dainty fingers hugged the apple--round, ripe, and skin the color of a ruby. It was unblemished and free of bites, trapped in the scene to be savored by the gazes of passerbys.

"Hehe. This one looks pretty tasty too," Epel murmured to himself.

"Are you looking out for every painting with an apple in it?" Cater teased from a little way ahead of him. His eyes glinted with mischief, and Epel was reminded of a Granny Smith. Not quite the same shade, but there was the familiar tartness, a slight bite.

"I guess so. I help out with produce quality control back home, so I think I just started doing it without thinking." He slightly inclined his head. "It's a nice apple."

"You don't know the story behind it?"

"Er, no. I didn't realize there was one."

"It's a cautionary tale about being wary of strangers!" Cater threw a wink to the first year. "They tell it all the time to kids in the Shaftlands.

"It goes like this: a girl lives in the forest with seven of her friends. One day, when her friends are off mining for work, a stranger offers her a juicy red apple. She takes a bite of it and falls unconscious. The stranger had poisoned the apple because they were jealous of the happy life the girl had.

"The girl's seven friends come home and manage to bring her an antidote, so she's okay. The stranger is chased away, and the girl and her friends are a happy family again."

"Gosh, that's morbid! Why'd you have to go and tell me that..."

"Hehe. Scary, right?" The amused trill in Cater's voice didn't match his words. "Envy can drive people to do some pretty insane things to come out on top."

"When you say it with a smile like that... I can't help but be a little worried, Cater-senpai."

"It's not that surprising. Happens all the time on socials!" his upperclassman chirped. The green of his eyes had shifted a shade darker. "It's much easier to turn on someone when you're looking at them through a screen instead of in the eyes."

Epel clasped his hands to his chest. "... Do people really do that though? Just go on the internet to lie and backstab...?"

"Aww, you're still so innocent, Epel-chan. Well, you'll learn about this kind of stuff sooner or later. Placing your faith in anyone that comes along might lead to you hurting in the end."

"Is that really how it is?" Epel's brows scrunched--as did his nose. It made him look like a frustrated little bunny. "It might be a city thing.

"In Harveston, we help each other out all the time. Everyone knows each other. If the harvest is heavy and we're short on hands, the neighbors will pick apples with us. When there's a celebration, it's potluck style. We each make a dish and share it with the village. My ma 'n pa... er, that is, my parents... they always tell me we ought to extend that courtesy to outsiders and tourists too."

"That must be the famous Harveston hospitality Lils told me about! It sounds so nice~" Cater sighed wistfully, then pouted. "It's rare to find a community as close-knit as that nowadays. In the largest cities, people are way too busy to pay you any mind. Cay-kun's got major FOMO!"

"Ahahah... We really did grow up in very different places." Epel smiled softly. "Tell you what. If you ever visit, we'll be sure to welcome you with open arms, Cater-senpai. You can be a part of our family too."

"Eh, you mean it?!" Cater's face immediately lit up--and Epel had to wonder if his sadness had been an act. Truth or lie? It was always difficult to tell with him.

"I might just take you up on that offer then," Cater crooned, slipping an arm around Epel's shoulder. "You'll have to show me all of the best attractions and local specialties! Oh, and the best photo spots!"

"It's a promise."

His mouth stretched into a cheeky smirk. The red of a shining apple and the taste of a teasing—temptations he failed to resist.

"And how about a juicy poisoned apple to bring back as a souvenir?"

[lemotmo]

I don’t know what to think regarding buddie. Like one hand we’ve got Tim saying he stopped writing them because he didn’t want to queerbait but now is writing them again because he realized it was harmful to the show to not do so because they are so natural with each other, coupled with Ryan and Oliver having said they want buddie if it happens to be done naturally on one hand and then on the other hand you have Kenny talking about Lou and how great he is and what positive energy he adds to the cast and set and how he can’t wait to see the Buck and Tommy relationship continue on and keep growing.

It’s like what direction are we supposed to be preparing ourselves for them to be going. One second it seems like buddie and then the next it’s right back to feeling like the delusional shipper people had made buddie fans feel like for years now.

Hello Nonny! How are you today? Hope you're having a splendid day.

First order of the day: You are not delusional! We are not delusional! Say it with me! We aren't! It has been confirmed by Oliver and Tim. Buddie was in the works at a certain point in time, but Fox stepped in and prevented it. So no, no delusional people here. We're valid in our convictions.

As for your ask. Well, I don't work for the show, so I don't have any insider information. But I do have common sense, so let's break everything down in smaller parts.

Tim not writing for Buddie anymore out of fear of queerbaiting is something from earlier seasons when Fox was in charge. It's obvious he has changed his mind about it with ABC in charge, seeing as how every single episode has some great and meaningful Buddie scenes. Not just that, there was also a great Buddie and Christopher scene, once again cementing the Buckley-Diaz family as a unit. It's true what he says, they have this natural unforced chemistry.

I didn't know that Kenny said those things about Lou, but I get it. For Kenny Lou is a great co-worker. He has worked with him before in previous seasons and he obviously likes the guy, which... you know, valid. That being said though, Kenny doesn't know where the showrunners are taking all the storylines. Tommy is involved in Buck's storyline and so far only Buck's storyline. (Well, and Eddie's as well I suppose, since Eddie is almost always there when bucktommy are together, which... choices!) Sure, Tommy was at the wedding, but that was only a very brief scene. Also, whether we like it or not, Buck is currently involved with Tommy. So of course Kenny is going to talk about them. What is he going to say? 'Oh hey guys, LOL don't get too attached to Tommy, he won't stick around LOL!' He might have some idea about the oncoming Buddie train, but he can't just talk about that.

Let's take in account all the things we have so far: Buckley-Diaz family in full force, Oliver and Ryan can't shut up about Buddie, Oliver hardly ever mentions bucktommy and when he does it's always in the same way -> Tommy as a guide, gay Yoda to help Buck out. That doesn't sound very romantic to me. Next, Tim likes writing for Buddie (confirmed), magazines are all over Buddie and bucktommy is hardly ever mentioned. The last episode they juxtaposed Tommy and Eddie and showed Eddie consistently by Buck's side, willing to step into his world. Tommy didn't. Lou himself revealed that he isn't allowed to use 'Buck' to address Buck, but he has to use Evan. Evan is a name that Buck heavily associates with his parents and his upbringing. I'm sure there is more, but I can't think of it right now.

The difference in chemistry. I myself don't see it at all, but a lot of people seem to like the bucktommy chemistry in their kisses. But outside of those kisses there is a lot of wooden interactions that don't ring true. I'm not sure if it's intentional or not, but if you place those interactions next to Buck and Eddie's scenes the difference in chemistry is palpable. Buddie oozes natural chemistry. Something bucktommy lack. Again, I really think this might be part of the narrative, to show the eventual incompatibility of both characters.

The list just goes on and on. So, I don't know about you, but I'm not willing to bury the battle axe quite yet. To be honest, I'll probably never bury it. As long as Eddie and Buck are on my TV-screen, I'll ship them, because they are literally made for each other. 6 years of history, friendship, family, hope and love. That is not something to waste and the show knows it all too well.

So yeah Nonny, I said it before and I'll say it again:

I'm securely riding the Buddie train, destination endgame. I won't be satisfied with anything less.

[pagannatural]

2.14 Born Under a Bad Sign

-Meg possesses Sam which forces the brothers’ dynamic to develop. Dean really reclaims a sense of himself this episode after spending all season in various degrees and types of turmoil over what to do about Sam. I don’t think he ever really considered killing Sam, but he agonized over his role and what he should do. He lied to a drunk Sam in Playthings and said he would kill him.

- Dean has called Ellen multiple times about Sam going missing, so much so that Dean doesn’t even refer to him by name on the phone, he just calls asking Where is he. Dean says “I’m losing my mind here.” He’s desperate to find Sam. I wonder if Dean ever lost Sam when he was a baby, like at the store or something.

- Dean also says it’s like when John went missing all over again. Dean sought out Sam for help and comfort when that happened. It’s a little kernel of insight into Dean’s state of mind when he broke into Sam’s house in s1, he was probably a lot more afraid than he let on to Sam because he was trying to keep it together.

-when he gets to the motel room Dean kneels in front of Sam, who’s sitting on the bed. He’s off to the side rather than right in between Sam’s legs but when he zeroes in on the blood on Sam’s shirt, on his lower stomach, he starts moving aside Sam’s jacket and touching the bloody fabric. It looks very intimate. Dean reaches directly into Sam’s personal space and even moves his clothes aside to check for injury.

This quick shot of his fingers feeling Sam’s stomach is particularly intimate. Meg!Sam says that he doesn’t think it’s his blood. Dean certainly thought it was Sam’s blood, he wouldn’t have been considering other options at that moment. So Dean is touching Sam’s wound on his lower belly, as far as he and the viewer know. It’s a sexual and feminine image. Although he’s not actually injured, Sam’s body has been invaded and controlled by a demon. It’s a sexual assault parallel, a first taste of Sam’s fall from grace. Throughout the episode, Dean fights for him and refuses to harm him. As long as Sam is still in there somewhere, Dean will protect him.

-Meg is inside of Sam’s brain and body and she has a pretty good understanding of Sam. She’s acting the way she thinks he would and also in whatever way plays to her advantage with Dean, so she has a primary interest in the nature of their relationship. She knows about Dean’s promise to John and to Sam about killing him, so she must have some access to his memories. She plays up Sam’s pleading eyes more than anything, which means she knows Sam’s memories that this has worked on Dean in the past.

- Dean reacts with deep skepticism to the gas station clerk telling him that Sam was drinking, smoking, and behaving violently.

Dean has also picked up on a couple of other specifics that aren’t like Sam: the name he gave at the motel is the name of a Bon Jovi band member, which Dean doesn’t think Sam likes and isn’t one of the names they would recognize for each other; and if Sam did smoke, Dean seems convinced he wouldn’t smoke menthols. He knows Sam so well.

- Dean says that smoking and throwing bottles at people sounds “more like me than you” which tells us that Dean is sometimes an angry drunk and sometimes a smoker, both of which make perfect sense for his character. There’s a lot we don’t directly see on the show.

-Sam moves differently, seems more feminine, and when Dean continues to insist he might not be a murderer he looks annoyed and almost rolls his eyes. Jared Padalecki is so good at being Sam possessed by Meg.

-Meg is basically begging Dean to feel horror that Sam killed someone- a hunter! with a family! caught on camera!- but Dean is like Ah fuck okay I’ll just run through the crime scene cleanup checklist quick and then we can take a nap together at home before we go okay babe? Babe u okay?

- Meg!Sam asks Dean to kill him, kinda using the puppy dog eyes but not quite selling it because it’s not needy enough, and Dean says “I’ve tried so hard to keep you safe…I can’t. I’d rather die.”

This is Dean admitting outright that his promise was bullshit and that he will either save Sam or die trying, and he’s faced so many trials to be completely sure and ready to say it. It doesn’t matter what Sam does. Dean had to understand more consciously his feelings for Sam before he could commit to this because it’s a fundamental part of who he is and his love for Sam. He feels guilty about his love, but he can’t doubt the strength of it and I think this is where he first accepts his role as Sam’s savior. The way he looks at Sam here is with such open love and desire. He’s like Wesley looking at Buttercup.

-Dean calls the phone company to get Sam’s location by pretending Sam is his son. He says “my son” and calls him Sammy and fuck if it isn’t the cutest. Dean is Sam’s dad now. Succession.

-Meg!Sam is so irritated that Jo is carrying a torch for Dean. She seems to be using Sam’s real memories and feelings to get what she wants, and in this case I think Sam is probably annoyed by Jo’s crush and wishes she understood she doesn’t have a chance with Dean, so Meg is using her weaknesses. She really enjoys using Sam’s characteristics and twisting them. For example, after tying Jo up she uses the puppy dog face again and says “c’mon it’s me, you can tell me anything” which echos Sam’s role as sympathetic ear to the victims and other characters. So when she talks about Jo wanting Dean and Dean not wanting Jo and then attacks her in a very sexually charged way, it feels like she’s playing with both their desire for Dean and Sam’s desire to be more like him. She seems to be telling the truth in these scenes, just truths that Jo wouldn’t want to know. So telling her You want him but he doesn’t want you and aren’t I the next best, when Sam in reality does not want Jo, makes Jo into a proxy to act out unrequited love for (and from) Dean.

-Meg!Sam shoots Dean and he falls into the water from the dock and Jo finds him soaked and bleeding and you have three guesses as to the first words out of his mouth (“where’s Sam?”).

-Bobby asks where Dean is so Meg!Sam tells him Dean’s with a girl somewhere. Bobby asks if she’s pretty and Meg’s eyes go black and she says “if you ask me he’s in way over his head.” The visual cue and emphasis make it clear Meg is talking as herself here, not as Sam, and it seems like she’s talking about Dean’s situation with Sam. It’s also a pun because she thinks he’s underwater, but regardless she’s connecting Dean being with some girl and Dean being in trouble because of Sam.

-she also smirks at Dean pretty wickedly and tells him “you wouldn’t wanna bruise this fine packaging” ie Sam’s body that she knows Dean thinks is mighty fine. What I wouldn’t give for her to taunt him more in this way.

- she tells Dean he’s worthless, he can’t save Sam, and the people he loves would be better off without him. Which means his worst beliefs about himself (as far as Sam knows) are that he isn’t good enough and that he’s actually bad for Sam. Why? Why would Sam know that Dean fears he would be better off without him? He’s protected and cared for Sam his whole life, both Sam and John have explicitly told him that they’re grateful, and even Dean can’t blame himself for the way he and Sam grew up. It’s possible this is about the fact that Sam is in danger hunting with Dean, but he would’ve been in danger in law school too. It fits better with Dean’s guilt over his feelings for Sam and his knowledge that Sam is in love with him. Sam knows that Dean blames himself.

-Dean refuses to hurt Sam when Meg!Sam is punching him, and she punches him four or five times. Then when Sam is back unpossessed, Dean punches him in the face. When it was about saving Sam Dean refused to hurt him, but now that Sam is safe it’s like his anger at Sam comes pouring out. He needed some form of resolution for the fact that his little brother scared the shit out of him for a week straight going missing, murdered someone and didn’t even help clean up the crime scene, pistol whipped him, shot him in the shoulder, punched him, named his worst fears, threatened to bite his own tongue off, and pressed his finger into his wound and laughed. Obviously Sam did none of those things and it was all Meg, but I think it’s completely understandable that Dean reacted this way after not only keeping his shit together for Sam all that time but also actively protecting him. It’s a reasonable trauma response for him to have fought back. I’m not saying it’s ethical or anything just that it’s exactly what Dean would do and it gives his episode arc some catharsis.

-for his part, Sam isn’t upset with Dean for punching him. He never is. As evidenced by Sam’s little smirk when Dean makes joke about Bobby’s charms for keeping the demon from “getting back up in there.”

-Dean checks in with Sam in the sweetest way, gently prompting him to answer if he’s okay. Sam explains that what’s troubling him isn’t the memory of his own hands killing a man, it’s the knowledge that even then Dean wouldn’t kill him. They both know for sure now.

-Dean teases Sam about having a girl inside him and Sam grins. It’s just one of many references to Sam having someone inside him and otherwise sexually being referred to as the girl.

-Dean’s “if it’s the last thing I do I’m gonna save you” hits different when you’re on tumblr and you know the show ends 13 seasons later with Dean dying and Sam living out some kind of a life.

[the---hermit]

I have not kept it a secret that this semester commuting has been really rough on me. By the time I get home in the middle of the afternoon even if I only had to sit in a hour and a half lecture I feel like an overcooked noodle. And the mornings aren't any easier, my anxiety has been spiking a lot lately, and that messes me up completly, and it's particularly hard on my stomach. Let's just say it's a very demanding period of my life both physically and emotionally and I have been doing my best to get through it with ups and downs, but most importantly by trying to properly take care of myself. I decided to compile a list of small things that have been helping me, both for future reference as well as for people who might be dealing with similar issues.

Prep everything I can the night before. I don't leave the house until more or less mid morning since my class is on lunch time more or less (and this will come up again), so I do have time to do stuff in the morning, but if I have already put everything I need in my backpack, picked an outfit for the day and checked that I have my bus ticket the night before I can have a much calmer morning. Having a calm morning is fundamental for me on any day, so especially when I have a stressful and energy demanding day ahead I want to make sure I don't have to rush, and here is my second point.

Try to have a morning as calm as possible before I have to leave. I am a morning person so I wake up quite early which means I have plenty of time to take it easy. And this means drink my tea as I read my book, prep the last few things I need, like my waterbottle, eat (on which I'll have a later point). Overall my morning before leaving needs to be slow and mostly made of things for myself so again my precious reading time, listening tocmusic as I get ready to get in a better mood and so on.

Taking my meds regularly. It's the logical thing to do, if I am in a period in which my anxiety is worse than usual the number one goal is to be consistent with meds, they are there to help me even if sometimes I forget that.

Finding ways to enjoy food when anxiety fucks up my stomach. What happens is that as soon as I have an anxiety spike for some reason I get very nauseous, which is terribly by itself and it gets worse when it makes me struggle to enjoy my food. But I found a couple of ways to work around that in the past few weeks. Eating when I am away from home is much worse so what I do is embrace the little hobbit in me and have more meals when I am at home, and just bring some snacks on the road if I need them. That means I have two breakfasts before I have to leave the house, the last being a bit more filling. And then when I get home no matter how tired I am or what time it is I cook something for myself, something simple, but I take the time to make something good that fills me up and makes me happy. Because having a full stomach does improve your mood belove me. When I am on the road I bring some lighter snacks that can help me if I feel like I need to have something but that will also work well if I have a spike in anxiety and correlated nausea. I usually eat some homemade bread while I walk from the bus stop to my uni, and then snack on some nuts while I wait for the lecture. And I always have an emergency sweet treat in my backpack because that is something that I actually do on a regular basis. This thing has been working very well, I have had less problems with my stomach acting up, and I am definitely getting all the nutrients I need during the day, just at times that are a bit different from my normal routine.

Bring tea with me. It's something I never did before but it's becoming the one thing I won't give up. I either make a green tea or an herbal tea that I drink before the lecture, and it's been so good for me both physically and mentally. It's been super cold so the warm treat is really needed, but most importantly it's been very comforting and calming, so shutout to my dad for suggesting that.

Having little things to look out for during the commute. This mostly consists of me listing to podcasts, and re:dracula has been of great company in my commutes last year so it's nice it's become a bit of a tradition. It's just good for me not to associate commuting with negative things, so now I just percieve it as poscast time which makes it much much better. This also includes texing friends when I feel like I can look at the screen of my phone without getting car sick (again when anxiety messes me up I can get random car sickness), that's good to keep my mind off things and make the commute feel lighter.

Total relax when I get home. Which sometimes means lying in bed with a cup of tea and nothing more. If I have enough brain power I might read a comic, or play stupid midless games on my tablet for a bit. Honestly just things that need as little energy and brainpower as possible because by that time I do not have much energy or brainpower left, and it's okay. I normally use up a lot of energy when going out and it this period of time all tasks require I use even more energy. I can't do much about it other than accept it and do my best to tke care of myself.

[jeons-catalyst]

https://x.com/stopkookminpls/status/1732138522063102076

The way Jk asks him to keep eating. No but seriously, i can understand friends simply caring about each other but there is something so boyfriend about JK's actions here. Is it just me?

One of my favourite things about Jungkook as a person is how attentive he can be to the people he cares about. This is something you see in how he takes care of his hyungs and even Bam and as you said, with Jimin, there is something that feels a little different.

When this Live started, Jimin asked if he could eat because he hadn’t eaten all day and Jungkook immediately told him he could eat and then this happened way later. So it means the entire time, Jungkook was still concerned about the fact that Jimin hadn’t eaten and just wanted him to eat. It’s the way he taps him the first time and just points to the food but when Jimin didn’t notice, he touched him again and this time used his words. 😩

This isn’t something i’ve seen Jungkook do with anyone else (atleast not in the same way). I mean, you see him showing care and concern about his hyungs’ well being but with Jimin it feels like he thinks Jimin is his responsibility or something lol.

In this clip too we have him telling Jimin to make sure he eats everything. I’m sure i don’t have to remind anyone that Jungkook is actually younger than Jimin. If Jimin or any of the other hyungs act like this towards Jk, it is understandable but Jk being the one babying his hyung is kinda…….

This is another very underrated moment which shows once again how interested Jk is when it comes to Jimin eating. Here we have Tae asking if anyone wants to trade half of their ham for half of his panini and Jimin volunteering to do it, then we have Jk saying Jimin can have some of his too and them proceeding to ask if he can cut it🥹

This one is not about food but just shows again how attentive Jk is to Jimin and his stomach lol. We see Jk getting water for Jimin even though Jimin didn’t even ask. He was just sitting there and but Jk made sure to get water for him to drink too.

And he did something similar here. Getting the bottle of water they were all sharing and giving it to Jimin to drink first before he drank himself.

And then one of the cutest videos of all. Jungkook making the biggest pancake for Jimin just because he had penalties to do. Jimin didn’t ask, as a matter of fact, Jimin wasn’t expecting it and was pleasantly surprised when Jungkook told him the biggest pancake was for him. All of these just scream “boyfriend” to me.

It’s the way Jk cares about Jimin’s well being and is attentive to him. Some of the other members might not even have remembered that Jimin had tons of penalties to do but not only did Jk remember, he made sure Jimin was well fed before embarking on the tasks. If this isn’t love, then i don’t know what love is. So anon, it isn’t just you. It’s you and the rest of us who have eyes and know how to use them.

There are many more moments but i cannot remember them all now. I guess Jin really knew what he was talking about when he said Jungkook is Jimin’s chef☺️.

[zayray030]

Hi, sorry to bother again, but I had an idea.

How do you think the first years would react to Ace dating their housewarden/vice?

Feel free to ignore this.

IT IS ONE IN THE FUCKING MORNING BUT THIS ASK MADE ME FUCKING CACKLE

FIRST Sebek is DISTRAUGHT. When he finds out that Ace is dating Malleus he is convinced that Ace used some underhanded seduction techniques and hypnotised Malleus and he is convinced that Ace is it to ruin the kingdom. And then Ace punches him in the face and he starts taking back his words. In all seriousness he is conflicted. Because he has the loyalty to the crown and also the fact that he's worried that something wrong might happen to Ace and he won't be able to do anything about it.

When he finds out that Ace is dating Lilia he starts fearing for his own life. Those two combined are going to ruin his life one way or another and they fees of each others energy as well so there is essentially no stopping them. Also Ace becomes a sugar baby in both and Sebek has to fight demons not to comment or say anything.

When Jack finds out that Ace is dating Leona his first instinct is to congratulate them and start treating Ace as Leona's mate. And then his survival instincts kick back in and he realises that God is real and is CACKLING at him. First, he gets flustered when insulting Ace, because that's essentially insulting Leona. It takes Ace sitting him down and telling him to treat him like a friend for his fanboyness to quiet down.

(I'm doing Ruggie for vice.) Like Sebek, he is PETRIFIED. Those two together are menaces. He pities the poor fools who stumbled upon them when they feel like scamming people. He keeps a tight hold on his pocket and refuses to play their games. However, he finds it hilarious when they target people he doesn't like.

Epel is in pure shock when he finds out that Ace and Vil are together. Because like, why??? On the surface, they're as different as you can get, but once he sees them together he understands. Now is scared because those two are so MEAN when together. Watching them insult someone together was the scariest moments of his life and he thanks the Evil Queen daily that he wasn't the one they were mad at.

When he finds out that Ace and Rook are together he is worried about Ace initially. And then he noticed how much free Ace seemed? Even though Rook was clearly stalking him, it seemed that his constant presence reassured Ace and made him feel protected.

Ortho is ECSTATIC that Ace and Idia are dating. He's already planned their wedding, their first child, their honeymoon, their gravestones, everything. He is just so happy that his older brother is happy and that he's getting Ace as an older brother.

When Deuce finds out that Ace are Riddle are dating he's both happy and worried. Happy that this means Ace can finally focus on his studies but also worried if something could happen to Ace and he could get hurt by Riddle so he gives a very thorough and respectful shovel talk

When he finds out that Ace and Trey are dating he's shocked. He never thought that in a million years would those two get together but seeing how Ace finally has an outlet for his bratty behaviour, and seeing how happy Trey looks when teasing Ace, he's happy for the both of them.

[utilitycaster]

This is probably something that will be obvious to many but: writing about fictional works but not creating fanfiction/fanon to me tends to fall into four categories, and I think it's really important to get how they intersect before getting weird about other people's posts.

Opinion. Eg: I like relationships based in mutual understanding. This is my opinion. It is correct for me. Might not be correct for you! Note that this is pure opinion, with no argument.

Interpretation: Eg: Beau and Yasha's relationship shows a great deal of understanding in each other's shared experiences, including abusive parents; a shared tendency to believe, at least earlier on, that things will go badly and that they don't deserve better; and difficulty expressing their feelings verbally but letting out frustrations through fighting.

Fact/Evidence: Beau says she is unused to things turning out good, and Yasha believes herself to be, as she says, very unlucky or cursed. Her letter covers that she expresses herself through fighting.

Conclusion: I like Beauyasha.

Argument is Opinion + Interpretation; a valid argument is Opinion + Interpretation + Evidence. Meta can include opinion but ultimately is Interpretation and good meta is Interpretation + Evidence. It's fine to post just an opinion, but if you want to change minds, you need an argument, and if you want to be able to hold your own against a counterargument it better be valid.

You can have the same interpretation and facts and different opinions and therefore different conclusions. Someone else could say "I like messy relationships (opinion) and so Beau and Yasha's shared understanding (interpretation, same as mine) is not interesting to me (conclusion)." You can also have a different interpretation from the same facts, either because you are including a different set of facts on a topic or because there is ambiguity and room for different lenses.

If your goal is to change someone's mind - and to be honest mine usually isn't - you are unlikely to change their opinions. Eg, If someone says "I don't like Beauyasha because I prefer messier relationships" I'm not going to convince them on the grounds of "you shouldn't like messier relationships." I need to either put forward an interpretation that supports a messier relationship, or, more realistically, say "understandable, have a nice day" and move on with my life.

That last bit is important - a lot of people also argue on the basis of "well obviously this interpretation is the only one, so you should draw the same opinions from it." and that's likely to fail; either the person disagreeing with you overall does agree on the interpretation but has different opinions (as in the above example), or they have a different interpretation (eg: Beau and Yasha have attacked each other repeatedly) and that is the basis of their opinion (I don't like that). You need to figure out which is going on and address that should you wish to change their mind. And again, I think you should ask why you want to change their mind.

The last point is that all of the above is valid given the text and reflect different perspectives. But if someone were to say "I don't like Beauyasha because Beau turned into a porcupine and moved to France, and I don't like long-distance relationships" the invalid portion is that this literally did not happen (fact leading to interpretation). If someone can correctly dispute the facts of your interpretation (as they stand at the time, obviously; no one is penalized for not being precognitive) then you are fucked, argument-wise. If I point out that Beau did not turn into a porcupine nor move to France, this person's argument falls apart. They can still dislike the relationship, but if they want to justify it with an argument they better find a new interpretation, and fast.

Before I move into the end I will note that you can also just not vibe with something, and that's purely in the realm of opinion + conclusion, a la "this rubs me the wrong way" or "I find this annoying" or "it's cute" and all of those are valid to hold for yourself, and also inaccessible to anyone else

The conclusions I draw from all of the above are first, making posts that are only your opinion/conclusion is always fine - say what you want - but treating it as an argument is a waste of time, and so anything of the order of "how could you not like xyz (unspoken: because I did)" is pointless because my answer is going to be "easily, and with confidence." Secondly, I think it's valuable to look at posts, even those with arguments, as primarily interpretation rather than opinion. Putting forth a separate interpretation is a disagreement, but it's not a disagreement necessarily directed at you; it's disagreeing with you but the parallel play option is available! You do not need to go out trying to convert all to your same mindset. I think a healthy fandom ecosystem has multiple interpretations and opinions and respectful disagreement; the positive version of "let people like/dislike things" (ie, they can like it or dislike it and if you're normal, your enjoyment is not contingent on theirs). Thirdly, get your facts straight or suffer the consequences. And finally, if you are trying to make an argument for an ongoing work and do so over time, your opinion must be fairly consistent even as the interpretation naturally evolves otherwise it becomes clear that you are arguing in favor of a foregone conclusion (often via moving the goalposts). If you say "I like characters who are willing to make painful and difficult choices, and Blorbo always takes the easy way out, so I don't like them" and Blorbo develops into a character who is able to make painful and difficult choices, if you start critiquing Blorbo now on the basis those choices that's still fair but you better come very correct, and it might be wiser to just say "I don't fuck with Blorbo, if you do that's great but I don't."

[vickyvicarious]

There were even such books of reference as the London Directory, the "Red" and "Blue" books, Whitaker's Almanac, the Army and Navy Lists, and—it somehow gladdened my heart to see it—the Law List.

Me at first: I am getting cute aggression stop!

Me now: Wait, what if Dracula is studying the Law List in order to find ways around the system like what legal strings must be pulled to enter an inhabited house uninvited.

Well, he is still deeply adorable. Baby Solicitor comforted to see Law in the wild. I love it just as much now.

But yeah, also that's an alarming idea, and something I 100% would believe. Something I don't think Dracula often gets enough credit for is how innovative he is about the rules of vampirism in this book. He absolutely does some rules-lawyering of his own, and in fact his entire plan is dependent on a pretty clever move with the whole if I surround myself in my native soil then I'll be fine to cross running water trick. And he also is pretty good at thinking of backup plans and contingencies. He eventually has a bunch of those here in the castle with Jonathan, such as:

Jonathan is locked in so he can't get out

He doesn't know the exact way back even if he did

While he's lost in the wood wolves could hunt him down before he found friendly people, if he did escape

Dracula's impersonation of him turns the locals against him if he did get to them, past the wolves, lost in the woods, through the locked doors

Also no one at home will know what happened to him because of his dictated letters and Dracula's impersonation, suggesting an entirely different timeline/location for him vanishing

And all of this layers well with other goals, such as isolating and emotionally torturing Jonathan. Stuff like his multiple lawyers/homes for his multiple dirt boxes to be stashed are also really clever. Dracula can make a good plan... given enough time/control over a situation. But he consistently underestimates his opponents, because he believes he is so innately superior to them. In doing so, he leaves gaps, opportunities they can take advantage of without him even realizing (sticking to the Jonathan example: his diary, some of his more extreme snooping, the final escape. Or later on, a fantastic example is Mina turning his attack on her against him, both choosing to spy back on him, and figuring things out from his triumphant evil monologue).

He also gets impatient and stubborn. I've mentioned before how he could have played the entire Lucy situation much smarter had he been more patient/less outraged at people here figuring out a way to temporarily hold him off. And when things go wrong, he's not great at pivoting in any kind of subtle/clever way. He defaults to anger, force, shows of power. And again, that can be used against him.

Sorry, I got totally away from your point. Yes, I agree, he'd try. And it would be completely in-character for him to overlook that actual lawyers might be able to out-maneuver him in such an area, and he'd get stupid-mad should they mess up some plan by doing so. That could be a fun thing to incorporate into some kind of AU (where Lucy survives: imagine if Mrs. Westenra's lawyer insisted on putting in some kind of clause that she kept the house at least until her marriage was finalized) (preventing Mina's attacks/saving Renfield: if the lawyer characters put together the stuff with Lucy and looked into the legal documents for the asylum, maybe putting some document together that changed the wording to restrict his access unless only Seward invited him in, or Renfield's invitation only went for the main asylum, not Jack's private rooms, or whatever).

[freakinator]

some disjointed and kinda incoherent thoughts about the s5ers + jepexx:

4c - nature vs nurture, his nature of being a somewhat peaceful generous guy with a somewhat solid sense of justice who wants to be friends with everyone thats the closest thing lifesteal can have to a hermitcrafter vs the way lifesteal itself bends and corrupts those very qualities: seeking vengeance against the abyss after they kept taking advantage of him only to kill him to the point of helping with the orbital cannons, reviving wemmbu over and over again cause he felt bad for him, his own builds being used (or at least attempted to be used in the case of sanctuary) as both slaughterhouse and grave as they eventually turn into rubble

jumper - love that corrupts, holding on so dearly to her teammates (both former and current) and her vision of what lifesteal is supposed to be that shes willing to enact extreme and even horrific measures towards others (particularly zam) to protect them and their memories, limiting herself only for the sole purpose of making said measures hurt even more

minute - good ol' Lifesteal TraumaTM babyyyyy!!!!!! how fitting that the most fanboy-y of the new guys is the one that gets to have the most traditional form of Lifesteal TraumaTM, although idk if its better or worse that he basically speedran almost all forms of it courtesy of the PlayersTM, Wemmbu, and the PMC (all he needs now is to keep failing and dying against an impossible enemy and he'd have a complete set)

pentar - yeah i can see why the PlayersTM love him, he's adapted very well to how lifesteal is although that might just be because he seems to be a very chill guy (of particular mention is when zam did his restaurant bit he just went along with it), that being said he still very much has a lot of hallmarks of being a new guy, one being that hes very reactive which im hoping will change soon since the wemmbu election + the advancement race may have possibly flipped a switch in him

wemmbu - props to this guy for trying so hard to exploit at every opportunity, although i do wonder how differently he would act if he was here for s4 or if he would stay exactly the same as he is now

squiddo - when will they return from the war, has the opposite problem to jepexx wherein she keeps getting dragged into plotlines and essentially forced into adapting to how lifesteal is despite her aversion simply because everyone likes her, she knew basically nothing about its culture and yet shes blended in perfectly, technically nothing is their fault and yet still theyve got blood on her hands

jepexx - when will he return from the war, has the opposite problem to squiddo wherein nobody likes him (ingame) so he keeps being pushed away from plotlines, since hes been here before everyone expects him to behave accordingly and yet the lifesteal he knows of is in s1 and therefore he acts according to that culture even tho the server gone long past that, asserting his will even tho its entirely unwelcomed such as looting corpses right in front of everyone, technically everything thats happened to him is his fault and yet still hes one of the more innocent players simply because of circumstance and skill issues

[outrunningthedark]

just that the fandom is proving how they are only in it for Buck and Eddie/Ryan and Oliver when they're complaining about a deleted scene on social media or claiming "queerbait" instead of asking (not demanding, that was poor word choice by me) to hear from someone else a little more often.

I don't think it's a secret that most of the fandom is only in it for Buddie though?

Not that people don't enjoy the show otherwise or wouldn't be watching without the ship, but online fandom specifically? I don't think there'd be a fandom without Buddie. It would be a show like Station 19 or Chicago Fire maybe, good ratings, a couple of people live tweet it, and a gifset would get maybe 100-500 notes on it.

Most of the online fandom is absolutely in it for Buddie, but also Buck and Eddie as individual characters, which is why the reaction to Buck/Tommy from Eddie stans is solely due to the knowledge that Eddie could have had the arc first, and if Eddie actually did come out this season the Buck stans would be letting people know how upset they are - Buddie is preferred because both sides get what they want out of it. The issue is that many in online fandom pretends to care about the other characters to the same degree to appear "better" than the folks only here for Buddie, yet their actions prove time and time again that it's not the case. Take the disrespect towards Hen as a lesbian who's been there from the very beginning. Henren gifs aren't popping up five minutes after a scene airs just so the op can (hopefully) get the most notes. People ask for Ryan to be released from "PR jail", but where are the requests to hear from Aisha? Why don't people get routinely upset when an episode *looks like* it won't focus too heavily on Hen the way they do when they feel like Eddie is being ignored? "There are more Buck/Tommy fics than Henren fics" Okay...and the Buddie tag has always outdone Henren, so....why is a different pairing a problem now? It's their friends writing the fics anyway? And they support them when it's the endgame they like? Similarly, people claimed to care about/look forward to the Madney wedding, and somehow the discussion was never about the actual event until it happened. it was about how karaoke night could lead to a secret hookup or feelings realization or TOMMY helping fandom's faves get their shit together by "noticing" something between them. In an episode about someone else's wedding. They're here for Henren and Madney and Bathena, but what's the thing everyone's blowing up social media pages about? Buddie. Whether it's complaints over being baited with the promo (something being encouraged on this very site) or sending a barrage of Buddie tweets or comments to drown out any Buck/Tommy support...people sure aren't acting like they know how to enjoy anything that isn't Buddie. I have no problem with anybody who is only/mostly in the fandom for Buddie (I myself will always feel the most connected to the Buckley-Diaz dynamic in any form for personal reasons), or anybody who might be new to us because of Bi Buck and Buck/Tommy. Just don't lie about it to make yourself look better when all it does is highlight your hypocrisy. (I mean, unless they want us to see through them that easily. Lol.)

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 5/7/2024

i have Got to read a book i enjoy this week or my brain will turn into something the consistency of dried tomato paste on a kitchen counter

also i have lost track of the timing and rhythm of the seasons so for the first time in a very long time there is no may starred war tuesdaypost

listening

Chapstick by COIN off my weekly recommended spotify playlist. i don’t think this song is particularly interesting or well-executed as a whole, but the lyrics

She’s a friend of mine, and an alibi

And the getaway car in overdrive, like

Hey sharpshooter, I like the way you’re moving

i think the use case for this song is a telecom company trying to get you to switch by promising some portable Bluetooth speakers for your summer parties and this is playing diagetically as we slip in and out of various summer parties, following one TV-hot woman in a sundress

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reading

i am once again not sleeping well and have shoved a lot of mediocre books into my gaping maw. i have read a good fuckin chuck of the jason todd outlaws runs. i like jason todd/the red hood bc i feel a certain kinship with someone trained for an incredibly specific thing who are then thrown away the second they stop conforming. darth maul also but that’s a different post.

i have several bones to pick with writer scott lobdell. i know this was the early teens but can we chill with the misogyny for a singular page. why themes of addiction only when it is needed to fill a narrative lull? and why are you continually going to put jason in interesting situations where he might confront his trauma or grow despite his trauma and then. not have him confront his trauma or grow at all because of it??? i like snatches of the early issues of the run, when the outlaws are figuring out how to be a polycule team on the most beautiful deserted island and crashed spaceship you’ve ever seen. i liked the art in most issues and these had just enough fun flashes of character (about every other issue) to keep me reading. but im annoyed by it.

i finally finished Wilkie Collins’ The Moonstone, the first physical paper book i have finished in a long time. the flaw of being the first in the english detective fiction genre is that everyone who comes after has a lot of time to perfect it. i felt the actual perpetrator was a little beyond belief and the ending was fumbled. however it was very good at sustaining my interest for like 400 pages. not my picture bc i cannot be bothered to find my copy and bother a cat, but this is the penguin edition i own. i don’t actually know if i will keep it on my shelves but maybe it’s more of a trophy of me getting back into reading physical books?

Alexis Hall’s Mortal Follies also annoyed me. i do not think this author’s strong suit is in longer books. i have read previous books in two hours and change and while i found the ending here satisfying from a fairytale perspective, i did not enjoy the path we took to get there. i thought we were ending and wrapping things up at least three times, and the number of Things that happen in order to carry us on to the next Thing does not feel gleefully madcap but sort of frantically shambling. a very classic three-days time limit is introduced in the middle, it is met, and then we continue on for several months. also the author introduces the concept of shipping your friends with an equally made-up word as shipping through one of the more tiresome characters in the novel and this…cracking? chip? in the fourth wall? fucking annoyed me. it felt very out of tone with the rest of the book. surely there was a better way for this character to express that she wanted the two leads to be together

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watching

Hammerhead (1968, dir. Miller). this is leaving tubi soon and sometimes the heart needs a silly little James Bond ripoff. had high hopes for this one bc it was rated R and the baddie was obsessed with collecting vintage erotica. i don’t really know why this is rated R. the erotica we see is almost all prints of Fine Art Nudes. there’s a lot of cleavage and undergarments and bikinis but not like. full frontal at any point. no man has their chest out except for an enterprising motorcyclist near the end.

anyway this is a deeply unserious film, as you may surmise. it’s not much fun, especially when it’s not very good at getting everyone to the next scene. Vince Edwards is kind of a cold fish, i do not know why every woman is throwing herself at him. Judy Geeson makes every scene she’s in better (there’s a very funny scene in a post office where they play both keepaway and the thimble game with an important package) but she cannot hold the whole dragging movie up by herself. god they made leading ladies fucking tiny back then. very throwable

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playing

not fallow but i don’t have anything interesting to say about genshin this week. a friend started playing fnv after several months of subtle hints, i was only able to join his streams after twenty hours in and promptly let him know the inventory is sortable if you click at the top. how had he been going through his whole fucking inventory for twenty hours like that. a man singularly obsessed with both inventory management and min-maxing caps. he had like 8k caps by the time he got to Novac, taking the normal route. people sure can play games in different ways huh

-

making

put some dijon mustard and some broccoli in some macaroni and cheese. that's about it