#source: incorrectpeterparker

[incorrectpeterparker]

Peter: I have a very strong urge to do cartwheels down the hallway

Tony: You are injured, there will be other times when you can cartwheel down the hall

[incorrectdefendersquotes2]

Danny: I’m pretty sure most of my ribs are dislocated, but it’s okay since they don’t hurt that bad.

Luke: WHAT-

Danny: Ooh! If all of my ribs were dislocated, would they still be considered dislocated? Since they’re all like still aligned with each other.

Luke: Yeah you need to see a doctor.

[captainwaffles]

Buford climbing the Christmas tree to put the Star on top: I did it!

Buford, realizing he can’t get down without the tree falling over: Shit

[justsomespnthings]

Sam: Do you ever think before you speak?

Dean: Sure. I think “wow, that’s hilarious” and then say it.

[mamaspidershit]

Peter, taking off a hat to reveal another smaller hat underneath: Does this answer your question?

Natasha: … I never asked a question.

[looopylupin]

[in Occlumency lessons]

Harry:

Snape: yes, I can read minds.

Harry:

Snape: ...Yeah, I guess the name ‘Alvin and the Chipmunks’ implies that he himself is not one...

[aosbuskids]

Mack: Do you ever think before you speak?

Daisy: Sure. I think “wow, that’s hilarious” and then say it.

[incorrectmarvels]

Tony: I am not a well functioning person

[pochilovesloki]

Tony: ... What are you doing?

Loki, with ducklings following him: They finally accepted me as their leader.

[criminalmindsismynextfoundfamily]

Reid: *whimpering, hopping on one foot*

Morgan: what happened?

Reid: oh, it’s nothing, don’t worry about it

Morgan: who did this to you?

Reid: please, just let it go, don’t make it worse

Morgan: I promise I won’t get mad, I just wanna know who did this to you

Reid: I just stubbed my toe on that door—

Morgan: *getting his gun ready* what door?

Reid: OH MY GOD—

[doctorwhostuffnthings]

Rose: *whimpering, hopping on one foot*

9: what happened?

Rose: oh, it’s nothing, don’t worry about it

9: who did this to you?

Rose: please, just let it go, don’t make it worse

9: I promise I won’t get mad, I just wanna know who did this to you

Rose: I just stubbed my toe on that door—

9, raising his fists: what door?

Rose: OH MY GOD—

[incorrectpeterparker]

Peter: Me, driving my Toyota to the depths of hell: “let’s go places!”

Tony: How do you even think of this shit?

[sandsucks]

Ahsoka: Bad news is I think I broke my arm but at least the good news is I got an A on that really hard test from last week

Anakin:

Anakin: Those two things aren’t even remotely related

@incorrectpeterparker thanks for the inspiration bahahaha (I’ve literally said this to my mom before and she was like huh??)

[unofficialhorrorandthewild]

Anne: you see these arms?

Anne: *flexes*

Anne: wii sports resort

[mamaspidershit]

Peter, looking at pictures of capybaras: I don’t know why people are so scared of chupacabras, they’re so cute.

Natasha, looking at Peter’s phone: A chupacabra is a mythical creature that drains goats blood in Mexico. What you’re looking at is a capybara.

Peter: …oh

[looopylupin]

Harry, after the OWLS: How dare you call me immature! I’m an adult! I pay bills! I do my own taxes! I work! I am far from immature!

Hermione:

Harry: now get out of my fort.