#this is a love story. this is also a horror story. for jack especially because he knows more than anyone else What This Means For Her

[quietwingsinthesky]

AU where rose gets shot by the dalek instead of the doctor and she survives long enough to be brought back to the tardis and he's saying he can fix this, he can fix this, he can fix this. and rose says it was worth it (it was.) and when she stops breathing the doctor just. stops. period. so so still. frozen over her.

and i think it takes just long enough for jack to get close and take her hand. because he needs to. before it goes cold, he needs to.

and that's when rose breathes again.

[txttletale]

could you elaborate on your thoughts on boom and 73 yards ( i agree with you i am just struggling to put into words why.)

boom was whatever. the initial conceit of the doctor being trapped and having to stay calm was really cool! i really like that. the ambulances that euthanize you if you're not deemed worthy of medical care and the tacky chatgpt hologram ghosts were both really cool ideas. it just doesn't stick the landing for me, the twists are contrived and fall apart given any thought whatsoever. like what the fuck were any of the soldiers Doing if there just straight up weren't any enemies. it's a twist that sounds cool to say more than it has any meaningful impact on the story or the stakes. i guess 'the arms manuifacturer created a fake conflict' is the intended emtional stakes there but that would hit like a hundred times harder if it was an actual conflict between two factions and people were dying, right? like if anything sending a christian militia to blow themselves up tae fuck on a nowhere planet instead of presumably killing actual living people is an improvement, surely?

also the resolution was dumb as fuck lol i am a huge hater of power of love saves the day shit not because i'm a cynical misanthrope but because it never fails to make me say 'oh so i guess nobody ever loved anybody before lol' and this is no exception like if one chatbot can shut down the whole operation beacuse he loves his daughter are we meant to believe that no other parents or hell nobody who loved anybody else for any reason died in this fake war before? it's cheap and schmaltzy and unearned. anyway the first twentyish minutes of this are all-time great doctor who and gatwa/gibson were incredible in it but it absolutely falls apart into a confused pileo f some of the worst Moffatisms at the end

73 yards on the other hand was incredible! obviously like it requires you to approach it with a different mindset to most of doctor who, right, doctor who usually furnishes you with the big explanation scnee where the doctor says 'well the ghosts were actually particle wave vectorforms created with the necros radiation from the god-king's techsceptre' or whatever--this is the usual narrative mode of sci-fi--but 73 yards is fantasy, right, this is the twilight zone, this is 'wouldn't that be fucked up?'. i interrogate the technical and logical specifics of boom so much when i think about it because that's the language boom is speaking, boom is framing itself within this logical, a-to-b worldview, the satisfying click-together puzzlebox. but 73 yards is a nightmare or a folk tale, right? kate stewart¹ says it herself, 'when faced with the inexplicable, we make up rules and apply them to it'.

so yknow reading it that way it all clicks together beautifully, right, (apart from russel t davies' embarassing swing and miss at Political Commentary in the middle. we get it davies you wrote years and years. we know. trust me we know). the doctor and ruby disrupt the binding circle, free mad jack, and are punished -- the doctor, as perpetrator, with being banished (perhaps in jack's place) and ruby with her worst fear coming true constantly, until ruby defeats mad jack, re-sealing him and fixing what she broke, at which point the circle rewards her by reversing the punishments. and the core horror i think is very effective and unsettling! the idea that there is something that someone could say to turn everyone against you, the closest people to you in your life, your own family, the institutions that are meant to deal with the exact problem you're having--that's fucking terrifying! and yknow i think especially as an autistic trans lesbian something that speaks to me a lot

so yeah. i think that boom establishes its logics and framework and then trips and falls onto its face while 73 yards does the same and then makes perfect use of them. that said i think in 20 years people who are autistic about doctor who will be like 'did you know in the 2020s there were two episodes in a row where the doctor caused the entire plot to happen by stepping on something' and thjatll be the main thing they're remembered for

[creepypasta65]

Hi what do u think the creepypastas hobbies would be?

I chose random characters if that's okay. Thanks for the request :)

Toby, Jeff, and Eyeless Jack Hobbies:

Toby 🪓:

Toby loves woodcarving.

In his spare time, he carves animals with a pocket knife and gifts them to some mansion residents like Nina or Ben.

He likes hatchet throwing for obvious reasons. Toby has gained nice biceps from throwing hatchets.

Toby draws. Though he's not the best artist, he can draw pretty decently. He mostly draws abstract or cartoonish drawings.

He likes walking and exploring the forest, collecting rocks, pinecones, and sticks.

Toby also likes photography. He takes pictures of animals around the forest like deer, raccoons, ducks, etc.

He enjoys playing video games with Ben and Jeff. He may not be the best at them but enjoys them.

Jeff🔪:

Jeff also does woodcarving. Sometimes, he and Toby carve together or make each other little figures.

He is a workout type of dude. Jeff cares about his appearance, especially his body. He works out a lot. He has many dumbbells in his room. Jeff's weight lifts the most he can lift is probably 50 to 100lbs.

Jeff also likes boxing to take out his anger and stress.

Jeff plays video games with Ben and Toby. He enjoys beating Toby but rages when Ben beats him.

Loves listening to music. He enjoys rock bands like Mcr, PTV, The Cure, etc.

Jeff also enjoys watching horror films and makes fun of the dumb protagonist. He's like, "What are you doing RUN!". Yeah, he yells at the TV.

He plays the electric guitar and practices his favorite songs. He usually plays when he's alone because he doesn't want anyone to know.

Eyeless Jack🫘:

Jack enjoys reading. His favorite books are non-fiction, mystery, and thriller with the occasional romance. Yeah, he likes love stories.

However, he still reads medical books about the human body.

He is a writer. Jack is currently writing a book, which is a mini-series about a detective.

Jack also likes working out. His workout buddy is Jeff. They both encourage each other to do better.

He is a fan of astronomy and loves stargazing. Jack also knows all the constellations. Not many of the creepypastas know that about him. Pls ask him about the stars or constellations, he would be so happy to tell you everything about them.

Jack likes cooking. It reminds him of when he was human. He gets so happy when the creepypastas ask him to cook or compliment his food. However, he can't eat any of it because it makes him sick he can only remember how it tastes.

He likes playing checkers and chess.

Should I make a pt2? Have a nice day/night :)

[the-s1lly-corner]

Crps x reader who does horror podcasts

Just got done watching creep casts left right game videos and it gave me an idea for this post WOOOOO

Characters: jeff the killer, ticci toby, Laughing jack

Notes: reader is GN, established relationship, reader mostly reads stories and stuff for their podcast

CWs: horror talk, talk of canon typical violence

Laughing Jack

He provides sound effects for you!

if you're reading a scary story he kind of just... pops in add to the story telling

if your podcast is purely audio he's going to be lingering around so he can just wait for the opportunity to butt in

sometimes does some voice acting for you if you ask, thrilled that you want to do something with him

actually pretty good at offering unique voices for each character though he does tend to get... very in character... like horrifyingly so, especially if the character in the story is really... not having a good time

clown logic lets him make most sounds accurately, many of your listeners think you're using a sound board or are a really really good foley artist... glass shattering, bones breaking, or something as innocent as a car honking.. its actually a little interesting to watch jack make the sound effects live because they just.. happen

Jeff

i mention somewhere that hes not much of a reader- not because hes not interested in it but because he just struggles with reading. no real reason yet but he just struggles with keeping track! listening to you read things out loud actually help a lot if you're also reading creepy stories

loooooves when you read gorier stuff, for... obvious reasons

hes not very interested in joining you on your little show, though, hes content with being a listener

a little sweet that you sometimes catch him listening to your recordings, will deny it though

if you ever talk about crime stuff and happen to talk about his murders hes definitely going to be giving you information and correcting details from the news and reports

may or may not make you look unreliable or even suspicious...

Ticci Toby

not much of a reader but thats because he just doesnt have the time or patience or desire to sit down and read something... but listening to something while doing his thing? now he can get behind that! and your storytelling is the perfect thing to listen to!

loves how deep into the storytelling you get into as well as generally just loves hearing you talk about something that obviously interests you

similarly to jacks part, if your show is only audio he may be inclined to do an episode with you! you guys switch off and take turns

oh he would 100% save funny bits from your episodes so he can go back to them

gets a little jealous if you often have guests on your show, but he tends to internalize those feelings

[hathay]

second year halloween hc’s pt2.

(i now realize in the splitting of the second years i left riddle by his lonesome with octavinelle, so to him i formally apologize.)

warnings: horror movies are mentioned, ghosts too. also i daurnt proof read😍 (may ooc riddle? i tried on him i am sorry if it sucks</3)

included: floyd, jade, riddle, & azul!

⥳floyd⥴

- he just really, really enjoys spooking people.

- like, a chance to dress up all scary?? to see the lovely faces of people lighting up with utter fear? SIGN HIM UP.

- he’s trying to scare anyone and everyone, let’s not mention how he gets all moody when someone isn’t scared by him and just giggling at his antics instead.

- he hates decorating for halloween it’s way too much effort but lemme tell you, pumpkin carving or horror movie watching? he’s all for it.

- makes the worst jack-o-lantern you’ve ever seen. like seriously what is that? he would quite literally just smile and be like “i love it😄”. he’d give it a name and all.

- he adores horror movies on halloween because he likes giggling when people are super scared, likes to teasing people about it too. (the type to scream in the middle of an intensely quiet scene.)

- steals candy. steals so much candy. actually, forget stealing, he just scares people into handing over candy to him and has NO remorse for it, they should’ve just been tougher, barely even put up a fight!

- he might even consider changing costumes halfway through the night so he can re-scare people or keep himself from getting bored.

⥴jade⥳

- he loves halloween are you kidding me.

- he loves costumes he seriously does, dressing up is just so exciting for him. he likes to look mysterious and all fancy.

- we all know halloween in the sea is much different so he’s still learning more about land halloween and boy is he INTERESTED. especially learning about all the cultures traditions, he’s captivated!

- also quite enjoys scaring people, he’ll wear a scary costume but go around acting like a living angels all night until he gets to chance to absolutely horrify people. then just does his lil soft smirk and struts away (he totally struts.)

- he also loves telling scary stories in the calmest most monotone voice while describing the most traumatizing scary thing ever. (it’s more chilling this way i’m telling you.)

- he would scare people in the most methodical way physically possible and he would act so shocked and innocent as his plan unraveled.

- the opposite of floyd in the pumpkin carving area, his pumpkin would be so gorgeous. like how did this man manage to make an art piece out of a PUMPKIN??

- he’s not a big candy fan tbh, man is floyd or someone else gonna luck out if he decides he’s feeling sweet enough to hand it all over.

♔riddle♔

- i beg of someone show him he can actually time to relax and enjoy himself on halloween.

- if he were to be somehow persuaded to go trick-or-treating i do think he would rather enjoy himself. to give himself a chance to be a bit of a kid, to let loose yk. it would be fun for him to experience something exciting that he hasn’t before.

- doesn’t want candy, he doesn’t like junk food, but mayhaps if he likes someone enough he wouldn’t be opposed to getting candy and giving it all to said person. as long as the queens rules permit it though.

- declines to watch horror movies. he won’t do it, maybe something tamer like halloween town? even then he’s judging EVERYONE in it.

- his costumes are well thought out, they are absolutely not something stupid or spur of the moment like certain people. (*cough cough ace*)

- BUT he lowkey likes being a little scary on halloween, it’s the intimidation factor that he enjoys.

- he won’t carve pumpkins either, way too messy for his tastes, maybe if the queen allows it, he’ll partake in painting or drawing on the front of pumpkins!

✯azul✯

- he’s so excited. so excited. sure sure he may seem like he’s only in it for a profit (he’s THRILLED about said profit don’t get me wrong) but he loves halloween itself too.

- he does enjoy halloween profit but he also just enjoys halloween decorates, he likes all the cute halloween stuff and how he can make it all however he pleases. like little sugar cubes shaped like pumpkins or ghosts? he’ll never tell but he thinks they’re so cute.

- idc what he says he’s afraid of ghosts. like how ghosts are quite prevalent in the coral sea, as a kid he would hide under his covers and sob because he was fearful of them. (it happened i was totally there)

- he would watch halloween movies but would act so hard to seem uninterested or that in that situation he’d be a-okay.

- he convinces people he only likes to capitalize off halloween but he lowkey loves matching costumes and thinks they’re cute. if someone he likes asked him to match i stg he’d be unable to speak. (he turns into mush fr)

- i think he would really enjoy dressing up, he’s an extravagant man yk! if he gets to wear something that makes him feel on top of the world he’s gonna do it.

[asherlockstudy]

hey! i am working through the one story. it is FASCINATING. can't wait to hear your thoughts on 437 and Link's obsession with everyone else's horniness and not just focusing the dancing girl.

Thank you so much!!!!! :@@@

I am not a big fan of Sextember because I am supposed to take them seriously and not question what they say, so I am in a constant state of mentally yelling "shut up" to my brain. Moreover I used to not like it because it always served as a setback after the GMEs the previous years, like an overcorrection. And it is tmi sometimes. Thankfully this time we only get one episode.

Okay what does this mean: "...what I did when I was 15 years old and I was - still my Nana's romance and just thumb through them until I found a word that I thought was a euphemism for wiener. And then I was off to the jackpot *rubs ear* ". Now, I am not a native English speaker but I looked it up and found this phrase "off to the jackpot" nowhere, so what if I took it way too literally, as in "I was off - to the - jack pot". Is this what it means? And if so, was it a euphemism for wiener that did it for Link? Am I understanding this right or...?

When asked how frequently he has missionary sex, Link tried SO HARD to not say like 95% of the time lol. But honestly I agree with Rhett it is getting a totally unfair bad rap, it's one of the best positions if you actually love the person and I wonder whether some people shit on it because they don't have that level of intimacy / comfort and missionary makes it awkward and not because it is always SO bOrINg

Rhett all "ooh" and "ah" and "interesting", especially when Link said he always tidies himself up after sex and before sleep, as if they hadn't had a huge convo with Josh between them a few years ago in GMM in which Rhett had a hard time dealing with the fact that Link always needs to get up and put clean clothes after sex while he likes to sleep naked and he had enough opinions about it that you could almost suspect it was his slumber that Link was interrupting. Also there was an accidental "I know you don't like me sleeping without a t-shirt" or something or a similar fail of epic calibre by Rhett. And I think it was also the episode where they were flirting and Rhett was asking Link whether "a girl" likes to wear her boyfriend's t-shirts because he's so much bigger than her, all that after it was established Link has a habit of taking Rhett's t-shirts... But here yeah, Rhett was hearing all this for the first time...

Link saying he became good at sex after he moved to California

Do shut up, they explained why it is the case, shhhhh hush shut shut stop

The fact that they chose Belvedere over each other... wow. First of all, I am against the person who sent that voicemail. Just saying. We know that it is something that makes them uncomfortable, don't make them confront it face to face. They were clearly very uncomfortable. The biggest, deepest and ultimate reason they picked Belvedere was because the fan was essentially manipulating them into picking each other. They put them against the concept of mating with an animal-like deity and everybody knowing about it. So, everything that is vile put together - bestiality, sacrilege, shame. What they were doing was to bring forward the image of a "secret Rhett and Link sex affair", very triggering, to their face? Come on. And push them to say that after all that wouldn't be all that bad compared to the other horror. And they reacted against it exactly because the answer was manipulated to be obvious. Unless they truly think that publicly shagging a rooster god is a better idea, which would be kind of alarming. They obviously did not give the normal answer because they felt coerced into it and because the whole situation is very suspicious. I mean, average platonic straight friends comfortable in their skin would be like "okay man it's gonna be one lame night and we never talk about it again and nobody will know hahaha". But they couldn't even go for that. You know? Unless they truly are the most unattractive people they have seen to each other... which... based on previous interactions those last 12 years... doesn't seem to be exactly the case. But what do I know? I still think that voicemail was a big foul both from the sender and the crew and they were frustrated, they lowkey admitted it.

Honestly, I sort of understand Link in the strip club thing. Men are used to be so unapologetic about their horniness and lust that it has become a standard thing to just go with your pals and all sport a hard on for the same woman in the public. I am not saying it is bad but I can totally get that someone might not like this type of vulnerability or impertinent forwardness (whichever way you look at it). I don't think it was so much for not going crazy for the stripper (though it could be a possibility to suspect) but rather that Link is uneasy with blurring lines of dynamics (the irony), he likes clear-cut situations................Unless he has no alternative.................. But it could be that the knowledge of horny males surrounding him could be alarming to him for various reasons, fair enough.

"Because Christy will call me a name, she'll call me names" yeah… yeah… *zips mouth*

Despite receiving judgment again, Link was mostly keeping it cool except he showed hints of annoyance in two occasions, when Rhett said a billion times he would double check with his wife first before doing anything like going to a strip club (which is awesome and the right thing to do, however he said it so many times it felt he put on the cassette playing) and the second time Rhett came back to the "I'm not going to the strip club with you, I already knew I would not have a good time with you in a strip club" which was so out of nowhere and it hurt Link, despite being able to laugh at it the first time Rhett made the joke. Rhett was kinda assholey in this episode. He is always off-putting to me in Sextembers. At this rate, if in theory there is a chance of doing a big announcement, you know what, I don't see Rhett doing it in the next 50 years lol He is so not ready.

Okay he saved it a bit with this last look I guess

"See what names you call me when my head is between your legs"

[kimbap-r0ll]

First Years Watching a Horror Movie

It's almost spooky season! (I'm also slowly getting back to writing on here!)

Ace

I feel like he would want to watch the really low-quality, low-budget horror movies you find on like sketchy sites. He thinks they're funny because he's not terrified of anything

Will he get jumpscared? Yes. Does that mean he'll admit to it? No!

I feel like if he has an s/o, he would want them to hold onto him because it gives a little ego boost to him. Like he's protecting someone haha

His favorite movie at the moment is Birdemic, he just thinks it's kinda funny.

Deuce

He thinks he's good at handling horror because he's so good at handling action movies and other more gory films, but he's not that good.

He might end up being the one to hold onto his s/o if they decide to watch something together. He's not that scared of zombies, but the minute there's a haunting he's like "eerp"

Won't jump with a sound but you might feel him flinch if you're next to him. He tries to focus on something else during the film because he doesn't actually want to see it but he also doesn't want to seem like he's quitting on the film

He doesn't like horror films that much, but he does hold the movie The Meg close to his heart because the first years all watched it together and it was an experience. Also likes slashers like Scream

Jack

Also like Deuce, he doesn't really like horror films but he also doesn't love them. He's fine with them, but he doesn't really get scared because he feels like the horror is cheap

He doesn't get jumpscared, he sees it coming. He will say "oh, here it comes" and then bam jumpscare shows up!

He will hold onto his s/o if they want to be held, and he won't mind if the s/o holds onto him. He might blush a little because he's shy, but nonetheless he likes it!

Not a big horror fan, but he likes halloween films that are a bit spooky like Frankenweenie

Epel

He's sort of like Ace except he also just like full-on horror. He's not scared of anything it's honestly amazing haha

He likes ghost stories since it's sort of like going on an adventure but through visual art. I feel like he tries to scare people on purpose around Pomefiore especially if their name is "Vil Schoenheit" lol

He doesn't mind his s/o holding his arm and he'll try to point out how a horror film isn't that scary. He might note the weird choices characters make or he might make a joke to make his s/o laugh and not get affected by the scare tactic. He's very sweet!

His favorite horror film is definitely something like It or The Nun

Sebek

He's not scared of movies but instead scared of stories from books. It might be his love for reading and his imaginations, but he will be unfazed in movie screenings but will jump in his seat when reading

Will say that the characters in movies are dumb for not knowing a certain danger is right in front of them or will point out flaws in the story. Unless you also like poking fun at horror films you might get annoyed with Sebek

If his s/o holds onto him, he might ask them what's scary but then pull them closer to him, saying that he'll keep them from getting scared. He's very sweet. However, if his s/o is reading to him a horror story, they might notice him holding their arm instead lol

He doesn't have a favorite horror film but he did like the old classic Dracula and he also likes most horror books!

[rockybloo]

As I’m doing this ask, I’m just watching Jack the Giant Slayer and making me SEVERELY wanna read Beanstalked, I’d love a passion fueled essay/reason from you why I should read it! (I’m gonna ready it anyways)

OH BOY I GET TO DROP MY LIMITERS

For starters, Beanstalked is a fantasy slice-of-life with a sprinkle of adventure and action. It does feature swearing, violence and gore as well as some body horror and existentialism. So just a heads up.

The main plot is basically that Lore, the planet that Beanstalked takes place on which exists directly parallel to Earth, has an event every 100 years where individuals are selected to become Bookmarked. This is where they are assigned roles from fables and legends from our world and gain secret weapons known as Märchen for self defense. This event has gone on practically forever under the watchful eyes of the Sun and Moon, the gods of this world.

But that all gets disrupted by an evil fairy called Nevermore who is bored of witnessing the same fairy tales happening over and over again. She has rounded up Bookmarked villains and the occasional misled protagonist to assist her and her army of ink stains as she aims to rewrite the world and rid it of happy endings.

The newest generation of Bookmarked are very unlucky as it is their turns to live out their assigned tales due to their stories all having been screwed up due to Nevermore's interference. Jack is one of these unlucky Bookmarked, who has just recently come to learn he has been assigned the same Jack from Jack and the Beanstalk. Much of Beanstalked follows hm as he learns about the magical side of the world he lives in, how to use his own Märchen, his own family history, and what exactly a "Happy Ending" is.

Beanstalked is meant to somewhat explore fairy tales and how suddenly becoming a figure in one can affect one's life-whether it be good or bad. It's also, at its center, a story about learning more about one's self and figuring out what truly makes you happy.

If you are a fan of fairy tale retellings then Beanstalked is a good pick for you. Especially if you are a fan of retellings that:

Aren't just mean spirited spins about the original tale

Aren't completely dark and gritty retellings of the source material for the sake of being edgy

Aren't just rip offs of Disney designs and characters

Or if you are petty like me, don't want to read another story about a protagonist having fallen into the land of fairy tales

Every Beanstalked character is meant to be based off either a direct character from a fable or a stock character. And for each fable, I try to bounce off the original story if there is an author (Like Pinocchio novel) or the oldest retellings as many fables don't have direct authors and simply have collectors that put their own spin on things.

So if you are worried about another fairy tale retelling story where each fable is just based off Disney's spins-DON'T WORRY BECAUSE ROCKY GOT YA' COVERED!

Beanstalked also contains a lot of found family elements, such as the entire village of Briar Patch being a community of Bookmarked who watch out for one another.

There are also cool af battle scenes due to the existence of Märchen (because Rocky grew up watching too many shounen anime and now has to put battles in everything), a ton of world building (I've had this story for nearly a decade now), a lotta characters with melanin (many being black), and a cast comprised of bi and pan characters.

ALSO ALSO...if you are a fan of pretty black girl love interests that kick ass (and may also be a monster girl with sharp teeth and claws and whole big monster form) then you will enjoy Beanstalked as Jack's love interest, Nana, is all of said above mentioned things.

SO if any of this happened to catch your attention-GO READ BEANSTALKED! As of right now I've rebooted it from the original 2010s version I had so it currently only has chapters 1 and 2. Which means you don't have a lotta catch up to do!

I have also handcuffed myself to this story which means I will be working on it till I finish it. I am on a mission. So if you want a webcomic and don't wanna worry about it suddenly being cancelled or disappearing one day-DO NOT CONCERN YOURSELF CITIZEN as I am unhinged about my fairy tale babies and am in for the long haul.

[polyklok]

Movies I think Dethklok members would really like

No this is not based on anything I’m just in a mood™ rn

Nathan Explosion

Mad God

So, no, I did not have any ounce of an idea of what this movie was about when I originally watched it, and I’m still not 100% sure tbh but an hour and a half of these pure vibes would totally be up Nathan’s alley. The post-apocalyptic setting, all the gore, the details of the various monsters, and I think he would just really appreciate it from an artist’s standpoint as well. This movie would just resonate with him, even if he wouldn’t have a fucking clue what was going on the whole time.

Mary and Max

I’m, personally, a bit on-the-fence about this movie, but it is undeniably sweet and I headcanon Nate to be on the spectrum so 🤷

This would be, like, his guilty pleasure film. The movie he knows is for kids and is totally not brutal but he loves it anyway. The, “I do not feel disabled, defective, or a need to be cured” really hits for him every single time. He rewatches it at least once every few months, especially when he’s in some sort of emotional slump.

Mandy

Another one that just like, like, big Nathan energy, you know? He just seems like a guy to really love loose plots with trippy visuals and strong emotions attached to them. Also, this movie is so completely badass, it is certified metal in his book. He also finds the story incredibly tragic; having the love of your life stripped away from you in such circumstances really tugs at his heartstrings, but in a way that gets him pumped up rather than sad. This is probably his go-to when people ask, “what’s your favorite movie?”

Pickles the Drummer

Son in Law

Okay this is my guilty pleasure movie. I usually don’t like stoner-comedy from the 90s, but this movie hits different. Maybe I just find Crawl hot. Anyway, I’m projecting that onto Pickles. He honestly probably finds a lot of crappy comedies to be peak film, and this is no exception. Pauly Shore pretending to be a country boy for a whole movie? Hells yeah. Pickles would watch while high off his mind, laughing his butt off and going to town on some cheez-its or something. And you know what? He deserves it.

Opal

I’m counting short films because I feel like Opal is the movie for Pickles. He’d watch it on a whim, because these are not usually the types of things he enjoys, and then he’d in tears over the emotional rollercoaster he did not agree to go on. Like, he grew up in a neglective household with authority figures that were overly-selfish and projected their own problems onto the youngest one in the house, to which he had to hide within his own brain more often than not just to properly function. And then he just…watched it happen all again in the hypnotic style of Jack Stauber. The Mom’s song had him in gasping tears for a while, the way you get when a movie somehow perfectly captures your own trauma right in front of you. And the ending??? Ugh. Go watch Opal, guys, it’s on YouTube.

Nathan and Pickles both get very emotional about certain stop-motion films, isn’t that crazy?

House

Thank you to Lucy for this Letterbox review that I think he would write

Anyway-

This movie is actually so insane. It’s not scary in a horror-movie way, like it meant to be, it’s scary as in ‘What the hell is happening and why do I understand it?’ Pickles doesn’t like most traditional horror films, as the long, quiet suspense bores him and the sudden jumpscares freak him the hell out way more than they should. But he loves the campy-wacko-type horror that they were apparently making in 70s Japan. It’s just scary enough to get his heart pumping, but the pure silliness of it all overrides that, getting him in a giddy mood and excited to see what happens next.

(No I am not done but tumblr won’t let me add more pictures)

[ladespeinada]

Some thoughts on season three of The Bear, hastily written after finishing it:

Sydney Adamu. My love, my life, my heart, my soul. Her frustration just grew and grew and grew throughout the season, and underpinned with that score, made me increasingly anxious until it finally culminated in that intense panic attack she had outside of her apartment (at which point, it felt cathartic.) She’s so clearly mirroring Carmy and his relationship with his old boss, down to panicking in the same spot. I want better for her, in multiple ways, up to and including healthcare benefits.

Which leads me to: why the fuck was Nat working so close to her due date, and why did no one push back against her going to pick up boxes of napkins when she’s literally about to burst. I know it meant that we got Ice Chips out of it, and an episode focused on Nat and Donna, but it didn’t make sense to me.

“I left you alone.” “So, don’t let it happen again.” “It’s never gonna happen again.” That blue-eyed, curly-haired, Grecian-faced man lied in Sydney’s face, thinking that being physically present in the same space and working in proximity means the same thing as not leaving her alone. Sydney was more alone in this season than she was in the season two when Carmy fucked off and hung out with Claire and talked about emergency room horror stories.

The presence of the Faks was overwhelming this season, which ended up feeling like purely ornamental proof that The Bear is indeed a comedy because look at these bumbling fools! They’re funny! They’re little jesters! Any and every self-serious restaurant after a Michelin Star will surely have Two Little Guys at the helm, no matter if they have no serious training or serving skills!! It’s not as if said self-serious restaurants aren’t regularly draining money on overhead costs, of which labour is surely a part of! (Why did the Computer only suggest Marcus get cut from The Bear, and not the fucking Faks? Are they not getting paid? What the hell is the deal there? These are not serious people.)

“If you fuck with Marcus, I will murder you.” IKTR!!!!!!

Why did the screen time for all of the characters of colour get minimised, especially in comparison to last season. Why did neither Angel or Manny have any major lines that weren’t just curse words, or scenes where they were interacting with others beyond washing dishes. Why did I see the Faks more than I saw Sydney. I wanted to see more of Gary’s somm classes. I wanted to see more Ebra. I wanted to see more of Marcus’ desserts. I also wanted to see Marcus more actively hanging out with Luca. I wanted more scenes with Tina and Marcus cooking together, riffing off of each other and their experiences!

Finally, some interiority for my sweetiepie Tina Marrera! That said, we mostly got a look at her past, and a limited look at her present (my girl is experiencing some massive imposter syndrome, but we don’t get to dig into it much. Nor do we get many Tina x Ebra moments which is an affront to me personally because their relationship is my favourite). I read this Slate review of season three by Jack Hamilton after I finished watching season three, and while I don’t agree with everything, I found this articulation especially in line with my thinking re: Tina and her episode: “The incessant use of flashbacks feels like a crutch to avoid characters or the show itself actually moving forward, in any direction. Dribbling out details of a character’s past like breadcrumbs is a hackish and tiresome device: Filling in backstory shouldn’t be confused with character development.”

That said!!! The scenes with Michael, especially in Tina’s episode, are incredible. Just a few minutes and you can see the shine of Michael’s charisma, the underbelly of his pain, you miss him and want him back, you see why everyone loved him so deeply. He was so magnetic in this episode, and so terrifying in Forks, and the decline in between those episodes must’ve been so painful to watch. 

This might sound silly to say because it was still very much everywhere, especially in the beginning of EP2, but Chicago felt like it was missing. Or rather, the anxieties of Chicago were missing. In seasons one and two, there’s the looming threat of Chicago gentrification (in one, The Beef is hurt by it; in two, The Bear is a part of it), plus there’s the aftereffects of COVID on Chicago’s restaurant scene. In season three, we got shots of Chicago, yes, and a lot of like, Wilco or whatever, but it didn’t feel grounded in the city the way it had in previous seasons. Not quite sure how to articulate this thought, but there you go.

The “haunting” the Faks go on and on (and on and on) about is so hamfisted, and felt so out of place for a show whose writing is usually quite taut, especially in its comedic moments. It’s just bashing you over the head with the idea that omg, it’s not just the dead that can haunt the living, the living can as well! What an idea!

I really wish Claire’s character was better written, but once again, her characterisation fell flat because she’s presented in mostly flashbacks, and through Carmy’s perspective at that, and that man apparently has difficulties understanding that she’s meant to be a person and not just a concept.

The moment in the final episode, where Syd and Carm are eating with other chefs at Ever, and one of them says “the greatest mistake is working for a bad boss, such that, what it unlocks in you is the culture that you choose to create”....hilariously unsubtle but fantastic nonetheless, because it’s followed by Carm confronting his nightmare boss (David Fields! I def did think he was a hallucination Carm was experiencing at Ever's funeral), and because it’s absolutely clear that Carm is also a fucking bad boss, and Sydney should absolutely not sign those papers. (I don’t think she should go with Adam and his new restaurant either, because the vibes are off there, too.) 

Along those lines: that moment where Carmy says, I think about you too much, and Fields responds with, I don’t think about you was fantastic, but also felt unearned.

Olivia Coleman’s Chef Terry saying, Service, bitches! was tremendous. 

Reiterating that I wanted to see more of Luca and Marcus together. I love them, your honour.

Selfishly, I indulged and binged this season because I was hoping it would unlock inspiration for me to keep writing my Tina fic and just fic in general but I don't think it did that, unfortch.

(Last thing: yet another season with Taylor Swift but no Fall Out Boy. We continue to suffer.)

[onbearfeet]

Queerwolf By Night: Queercoding, Media Literacy, and Werewolf By Night (part 2)

Welcome back to Media Studies And Writing Hacks With Kat! Part 1 is here if you missed it. We discussed queercoding: what it is, how it works, why it exists, and how it plays into the 1930s and 40s horror movies Werewolf By Night likes to reference.

Once again, the thesis I'm arguing here is that there is queercoding in WBN, and that it should be part of the discussion of the special (which I'm calling a movie or film because I think "special presentation" is dumb and this is my essay.) I am NOT arguing that WBN is explicitly queer, or that inferring heterosexuality where queercoding exists is morally wrong or even textually inaccurate.

TL;DR: you can totally still ship Jack and Elsa, I just wanna point at some metaphorical rainbows and say, "Look! Rainbows! Aren't they neat?" I personally think the queercoding adds a layer of richness to the story. I hope you get something out of it, too.

And now, allow me to introduce our starting point, the wolfman of the hour, everyone's beloved blorbo and queercoded icon: Jack Russell.

Look at this adorable protagonist, this absolute chewtoy of a human being.

He's queercoded as fuck. Not as much as Ted, but we will GET to Ted.

Let's begin with Jack's introduction, where he is literally revealed as the narrator speaks the phrase "the monster who finds himself among them". We join Jack as he enters an unknowingly hostile space, a building full of people who would literally mount his head on the wall if they knew who and what he really was. Jack's introduction to this world is a series of Bayeux-style tapestries showing, among other things, the gory slaughter of his kind. We see him react with a mixture of shock, queasiness, and tamped-down anxiety, which marks him as an outsider. It seems unlikely that the other hunters would be grossed out by the sight of a depiction of their literal jobs.

Now, outsider status alone isn't necessarily queercoding, but it often is, especially in monster movies. Jack's reaction is not dissimilar to that of a closeted person entering a homophobic church for some kind of socially expected ritual--and, indeed, Jack has come for a funeral.

Look at that nervous glance as he walks into the room. He's not comfortable here. He knows he doesn't fit in.

This is a good time to mention Jack's outfit and the way it intersects with what we see of hunter culture. From the leather to the weapons to the heads on the wall, the aesthetic of hunter culture in WBN is hypermasculine, almost to the point of parody. The obsession with imagery of violence and death (the paintings on the walls, the corpse animatronic, the skull bowl) and the hostility to anything perceived as feminine is marked.

Wait. Hostility to anything feminine? Yes, I said that.

There are three characters who are played by female actors: Elsa, Verussa, and ... look, the hunters HAVE names, but I'm just gonna call them Scottish Guy, Asian Guy, Black Guy, and David Bowie. So David Bowie is an adrogynous character played by a female actor who acts as our third not-exactly-a-male character, and it's interesting to me that they're taken more seriously by the other hunters than Elsa is. Elsa, by contrast, is treated with contempt by the other hunters--and the contempt is very specifically gendered. Scottish Guy calls her "lassie" when he threatens her, and Asian Guy says, "Where's the lovely lady's medallion?" with a noticeable leer. They don't take her seriously, not even after Verussa announces she's welcome to participate--and they only brighten up when Verussa reminds them that they're allowed to kill Elsa if they can. That's the response to the only unambiguously female hunter.

Now, you may point out that Verussa doesn't get nearly as much shit from the hunters, but Verussa is explicitly presenting herself as the servant (and sexual partner) of a man. She's also not competing with them for the Bloodstone, nor trying to inherit, even though presumably she has at least as good a claim as Elsa does. She's not trying to enter the hypermasculine realm of hunting, but Elsa is in it, and so Elsa is despised and Verussa is tolerated.

And then there's Jack.

Okay, time for Baby's First Queercoding Element: gender nonconformity. In general, feminine male characters and masculine female characters (something explicitly forbidden by the Hays Code, by the way) are coded as queer. A lot of gay male stereotypes are men doing "womanly" things, like cooking and wearing dresses and having sex with men. The same goes for lesbian stereotypes like short haircuts, manual labor, and having sex with women. Now, obviously ACTUAL queer expression is infinitely more complex, but stereotypes don't do infinite complexity.

So. Is Jack feminine?

Well, he's wearing a gentleman's suit, but by the standards of hunter hypermasculinity, yeah, he's pretty girly. For one thing, he's wearing that suit in a room full of people in combat gear. For another, the suit itself is full of fussy details that mark him as a man who cares a great deal about his appearance, another stereotypically feminine trait. The suit is green, a barely acceptable color in menswear, and it has glittery details like the trim on his lapels. The spinal-column tie is metal as fuck, but it's also a silk tie. He's doing the death-and-gore theme, but making it high fashion. He's even wearing makeup. Granted, it's Día de los Muertos makeup, but it's still pigment on his face for aesthetic purposes. He's also the only hunter who acknowledges, in dialogue, that he has non-white, non-USAmerican heritage--"It's to honor my ancestors." He marks himself (literally) as visibly foreign, even though denigrating foreign masculinity is a big part of American hypermasculinity. He also tries to smile at and befriend every hunter who glares at him--another stereotypically feminine trait that leads to his conversation with Scottish Guy.

Speaking of, that conversation is gay as hell. It's practically flirting, especially the part where Scottish Guy compliments Jack's makeup and then tearfully admits that hunting and living all by himself "gets lonely". And Jack makes this amazing face:

Now, this is me inferring again, but I read this face as a combination of "Aww, that's sweet of you" and "Loneliness caused by hypermasculine self-isolation? I literally have no idea what that's like, but it sounds bad, bro." Perhaps with a soupçon of "Get me out of this conversation aaaaaaa."

So the scene rolls on, and Jack continues to be Bad At Toxic Hypermasculinity. When his top kill count is mentioned, he shrugs it off rather than taking a little bow like the others do. He actually chuckles at Ulysses' joke. He seems mildly interested in Elsa rather than hostile, and amused by her snark rather than threatened by it. He shows fear and worry when he learns Ted is in peril and in pain. The guy really wears his heart on his impeccably tailored sleeve. Notably, none of these traits are bad, per se--they're just more likely to be assigned to feminine characters, and they're given to Jack.

It's important to note the impact of perspective here. Jack is our POV character. If there were to be a hunters' version of this story, Jack would be a sneaky, cowardly, vaguely effeminate villain and Elsa a traitor (or possibly a dimwitted victim seduced by Jack's charms). All of Jack's queercoding would make him a GREAT queercoded villain; it's just that here, he's the protagonist, and a deeply sympathetic one at that, so we miss some of his "unmanly" traits.

All right, let's fast-forward to the maze. We see Jack being clueless and awkward about the drawing of lots, we see some sneaking around, and then we see his first hostile encounter with Elsa, and we get this great exchange:

Jack: I suggest we just pass each other by.

Elsa: ... What?!

Jack, visibly pained by the awkwardness: I suggest we just ... pass each other by.

Jack is uncomfortable with violence. He actively avoids it, talking his way out of trouble when he can and running when he can't. Even Elsa points out how strange he is compared to other hunters, specifically because he avoids violence. He doesn't kill or even hurt anyone in his human form. He doesn't even know how his explosive works--to the point where he asks a woman if SHE knows how to work it.

I'm not saying violence is an inherently masculine trait, but the association of masculinity with a capacity for (and comfort with) violence runs deep in Western culture in general and American culture in particular. It's a huge thing in Mexican culture as well, and yet Jack is actively choosing not to participate in it. He's denying a core part of what would otherwise be his traditional gender role. He later tells Elsa that any "hunting" he does is done by "a part of me that is not me"--a part of himself that he doesn't see as himself. In his eyes, violence is not merely scary or distasteful; it's not part of him at all.

(Compare this to all the ass-kicking Elsa does.)

And then we get to Ted. Buckle up, guys.

Technically, our first introduction to Ted is a distant roar and some screaming, but the moment where we meet him is this:

A jumpscare, followed by a cuddle.

Once again, Jack wears his heart on his sleeve, but more importantly, let me draw your attention to the juxtaposition of Ted's scary grab and Jack's excited snuggling. This relationship is introduced as something scary before being revealed as something sweet--and "scary" is a good description of the portrayal of queercoded couples (who are, remember, usually villains) in classic cinema. All the cinematic language around Ted right up until the grab is telling us to be afraid of him--and then our cinnamon roll of a protagonist starts petting him and greeting him and asking if he's okay. Ted is monstrous and inhuman ... right up until we see him receive affection from another man.

We don't get clear details of Jack's relationship with Ted, but we know that it's a big deal to them--after all, Jack is risking his own life to save the big guy. Jack also describes Ted as "family" and, with a fond eyeroll, a "pain in the ass". Jack implies that he no longer has contact with his family of origin, a common experience for many queer people who are shunned for leaving the closet, but Ted slots neatly into the category of found family. Ted is also, notably, the only close relationship Jack is seen to have, just as Jack is the only close connection Ted is seen to have. The two are physically affectionate (again, cuddling) and emotionally vulnerable in their conversations.

And Elsa, the outsider to their relationship, finds the whole thing bizarre, right down to Ted's name.

Speaking of Elsa, let's talk about Jack's behavior in the crypt and the cage.

In the crypt, Jack displays compassion for someone who has largely been hostile to him (he REALLY wants to fix Elsa's leg), absolute delight when he receives the tiniest signal that she might be sympathetic to him ("It's not in your DNA, then?") and remarkable emotional intelligence (see his speech about families). He also, notably, doesn't hit on Elsa or indicate any sexual interest in her.

He also makes this terrific face when he's handed a skull:

Oh, yeah, that's a big, scary hunter there.

Now, the cage. Jack's response to being put in the cage (and stripped of his jacket, interestingly--little bit of dehumanization there, perhaps) is recognition, followed by attempts at reassuring Elsa, followed by panic. He's arguably more upset than Elsa is, and Elsa thinks she's about to be torn to shreds.

At two points in this story, Jack Russell finds himself trapped in a small space with a beautiful woman and more or less immediately freaks out. It's not the most heterosexual pattern. In fact, it's got strong thematic overtones of queer men being forced into straight relationships by their families, their work, or their society. In a culture that entwines sex and violence, the fact that he's delighted to be grabbed by a male swamp monster but begs for death rather than symbolically do a sex with a woman is noteworthy.

"Symbolically do a sex"? Yeah, the only times the film frames Elsa as anything like a sexual object are the transformation sequence, which is a visual callback to classic sexualized scream queens of yore with her literally in Jack's shadow, and the face-touching scene, where Jack straddles her, their faces almost touch, and then he flees and she sits up with her hair mussed in a dreamy, almost post-orgasmic way.

Michael Giacchino doesn't eroticize violence MUCH, but he's fairly classy about it when he does.

"But wait!" I hear you saying. "What about the sniffing scene? Isn't that eroticized? And it's between Jack and Elsa! Checkmate, liberals!"

First of all, how dare you call me a liberal when my preferred political descriptor is "chaotic good". And second of all ... well, you're HALF right. It IS eroticized...but not because of anything Laura Donnelly or Gael Garcia Bernal is directly doing.

Go watch Elsa's body language during the scene. It's awkward as fuck. She's curled in a ball, knees and elbows out, letting Jack pull on her arm and sniff her hair but not really participating. There's no indication that she wants to be doing this, or even knows what "this" is.

Gael is making a little more of an erotic show about it; in fact, the intensity of his sniffing would probably be an indicator of sexual desire--if he weren't CRYING WHILE HE DOES IT. That's why his voice breaks on "Once."

These are both excellent actors, making very intentional choices with their voices and bodies. They're playing the scene as something that COULD be sexy IF THEY WEREN'T BEING FORCED TO DO IT.

Seriously. There's enough fanfic now that we've all read Jack giving Elsa a leisurely, consensual sniff. You can't tell me Gael and Laura couldn't have made that happen. This is not sexy sniffing. This is angst sniffing. It's just angst sniffing between two beautiful, sympathetic characters who genuinely don't want to hurt each other. It could have been acted and shot in a much sexier way, but it wasn't.

It's also worth noting one last category of queercoding that WBN plays with a lot: dehumanization. A lot of those classic movies played their queercoded characters as specifically less than human, visually aligning them with disliked animals like rats or wolves and often making them literally less human as the story progressed. Even after the Hays Code, monstrous and inhuman queers became a staple of horror movies, especially in the 1980s and 90s as the AIDS crisis convinced a lot of conservative America that LGBTQ people were literal plague rats. There were proposals to tattoo HIV-positive people to identify them, to round them up into camps, to shut HIV-positive kids out of schools because those kids were implicitly queer and therefore not deserving of human rights like an education.

WBN, with its werewolf POV, pushes back on this trope in some specific ways. Jack's line about being "still a human" is an obvious one, as well as his explanation of "systems" to keep other people safe. (It was common during the AIDS crisis for queer people to be fired from their jobs if they were outed because they were considered an AIDS risk to their coworkers--even if they were, say, an office worker who didn't have any contact with other people's bodily fluids. There were conspiracy theories about AIDS spreading through shared soda cans. Those paper seat protectors in public bathrooms came about because of fears that AIDS could spread via toilet seats. So imagine a gay man trying to explain that he's not a threat to his officemates, and you'll see the parallels to Jack trying to reassure Elsa.)

Most notable, however, is how Elsa survives the wolf. She's safe because she maintains eye contact (implicitly acknowledging her and Jack's shared humanity--she literally refuses to stop seeing him) and because he remembers her scent (she becomes a part of his world as he becomes part of hers). Elsa is rewarded, both with her life and with her inheritance, for treating Jack and Ted like human beings when the world around her regards them as abominations.

Elsa is an ally. She's ally-coded. She can also be read as a love interest for Jack, but she consistently acts in support of his relationship with Ted as well.

In Part 3, we're going to talk about the crowning moment of queercoding in WBN. That's right--it's time to learn about coffee in the woods, the gay jukebox, and the Friends of Dorothy.

[blade-liger-4ever]

How I think Miko and Ironhide would be if partnered up

1:

Ironhide would definitely teach her how to defend herself, as well as the basics of using pretty much any weapon in existence (including some of the guns that have to be lurking in the base Fowler scrounged up for them.)

2:

Miko would still totally be rocking out to heavy metal and rock 'n roll. Ironhide, having had to put up with Jazz and Blaster's shenanigans, is practically immune to the noise by this point.

3:

Ironhide would be recounting hundreds of war stories to her, even all the gorey parts, and Miko would listen in building excitement while Jack claps his hands over Raf's ears and looks on in abject horror.

4:

Miko would take photos of him right before missions, and Ironhide would flex his biceps to indulge her especially since he knows he might not come back.

5:

Together they'd give Ratchet all kinds of grief with Miko's music, practical jokes the medic never understands (and then laugh at him for it), as well as the occasional times Ironhide brings Miko along/she gets past his radar.

6:

Ironhide also develops a "Miko sense" whenever something's up/wrong at base, and pretty much tears the place apart until he finds her. He also usually just hefts her up somewhere high that she has to shimmy down before a mission starts, but it's Miko. She's as much a force of nature as Ironhide is and will find a way to be with him.

And lastly, we'd have some moments where they actually argue, and one of those times, Ironhide gets quiet as Miko's last outburst reveals that she can't handle the stress. She can stay in one place for a while, but not when Ironhide goes out on a mission. Miko will literally wake up from nightmares of seeing his dead corpse on the battlefield, or of being told by Optimus that he died. She wants to protect him, warn him of danger, but being so small and so helpless makes her run through the GroundBridges in a desperate bid to do something to help him.

And as she cries her fears out, Ironhide will lightly brush her back with a finger and tell her how much that means to him. And he'll tell her that as much as he loves having her around, even in a war zone (because scrap, you've got nerve), he worries she'll get caught in the crossfire. That he or one of the others won't see her and she'll get stepped on, or taken and tortured by the 'Cons, and that it keeps him up at night when one of the 'Cons spots her and they narrowly survive.

And in the end, they work out an agreement: with Raf and Wheeljack's help, they make a little drone that follows him or one of the others around when on a mission. It plays live footage, and by hacking into its feed, not only will Miko be able to stay in touch while he's out, but they can both make certain Ironhide won't be snuck up on.

[panelshowsource]

alex talked about that recently in this interview! [rubs hands together like a mischievous little shrimp] i hope we see it one day heh

hehehe it was a fun task! we've NEVER seen alex play such a character during a task like that — he's received cuddles and made demands and eaten meals, but this was next level Alex Acting — so that was really fun!

lucy talking incessantly about alex's legs but mans also got his long sparkly toes

i think people are too quick to call this or that iconic, but ngl the second i saw this final image...it's practically a horror movie poster...PERFECT

can you imagine greg davies being your drama teacher and then he quits to become a comedian and the next day you see him on tv as Massive Greg hand feeding a man with no teeth who is pretending to be a tortoise

honestly if that's the one that haunts you i'd say you got off pretty easy, i scrub my eyes with concrete mix every night to try and forget ass sandwich and yet... but hey at least when he hurt his hand he finally had an excuse for that stupid bandage he wears hahaha

she was being so sincere and he was Such A Little Shit 😭

you know what i was binging some simon stuff as well, since it was his birthday, and ran across this again after all these years!

aw anon i'm so glad ♡

moooost of my fave episodes are like ~2005–2015ish? probably the nostalgia!

21.01 with jess hynes bc she is an icon to me

21.05 love seeing simon and miquita together

21.07 with martin freeman

22.02 with stephen fucking fry YES

22.04 was crazy like conchords-era rhys darby was there (i LOVED flight of the conchords lmao) and then johnny vegas and danny dyer next to each other? what a lineup

22.12 with josh groban, omid, martin freeman, heston is an ALL-TIME CLASSIC

i LOVE the guest-hosted episodes with martin freeman, rhod gilbert, frankie boyle (especially 24.12 with miles jupp and professor green), jack dee, alex horne, kathy burke, and johnny vegas

23.12 doctor who special HANDS DOWN

24.02 it's hilarious how respectable catherine tate is offset by how ridiculous catherine tate is

25.06 when greg hosted with frankie boyle, h was there just being h, holly walsh angel, it was a riot

john barrowman is also extremely iconic on buzzcocks, probably most so on 19.05 but also when he hosted 25.12

there are tons of older episodes from the lamarr era that i love — bob mortimer is so funny on this series especially on sean's team, 12.05 when jimmy and claudia were with phill, fun to see ian dury on 5.01, and so on — but these above are some of my personal all-time faves!

aw i really appreciate the rec! first i would like to say i looked it up on youtube and stumbled across the american version and holy shit the dude who hosted brainsurge on nickelodeon is hosting that and WOW my brain would have died never having remembered he existed if i hadn't seen him just now — so that was very weird. ANYWAYS i'll check it out!

imo it didn't start with ben miller...rob is always like this... sometimes when the pod episodes are shorter (less than 10min? does he do that anymore), you can tell some of the bullshit is edited around, but now that they're longer-form conversations he is dominating every episode. i'm certainly no rob hater, but it's really unsurprising to me because facts are facts — rob is self-involved, extremely concerned about being seen and being heard, incredibly pouty if not outrightly bitter when he's not recognised, when fame/success doesn't chase him, when he's getting less from life than he believes he deserves. there are aspects of rob in the trip that aren't far from reality, if you see what i mean. rob is, honestly, quite showbiz. don't get me wrong, he's funny, affable, talented, we love him! but he's not a stellar podcast host because he doesn't have the attention span to let someone else have a moment. have a story. put something on the table. there are definitely times i give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he's trying to form a connection by sharing a related experience/feeling/whatever, but other times he's just being self-involved, pivoting the convo, and it is what it is. it's too bad when we don't always get lengthy, insightful content for someone we love — like miles, let's say — and when we finally do rob isn't doing his part; i felt that way about the dara episode. i don't think rob means any malice, it's just how he is...+ a dash of being a middle-aged white man in showbiz...

i got this one yesterday...

...and i'm going to dedicate it to you<3

and frankly sign me up for the woz/vcm experience i am happy to be a little tomato in that flapjack sandwich

you guys are really sweet, it makes me smile ♡ i don't know why some days the trolling can really get to you and other days you forget it in a couple blinks... i feel like i've been having some bad days. last week i saw something on my own dash with thousands of notes outright mocking me and i haven't really recovered from the uncomfortableness/just general hurt feelings. i want be better about letting those things go, but i also think a holiday break will do me good. anyways, thank you for always enjoying the blog and taking the time to be so kind ♡

—————

WATCH LINKS MASTERPOST / FAQ / TAGS / ASK

[the-s1lly-corner]

Random Eyeless Jack tongue hcs

Cw// kinda borders into suggestive territory if you squint, but nothing intentional? Writing this before actually putting down the hcs, but

Yeah

Nothing too crazy, obviously

Also cw// for body horror and shit since I also wanna dive into his whole.. how he got messed up

Getting the body horror stuff out of the way, I hope yall already know ab my whole curse hc/interpretation on jack

If you dont/if you're new; hi! Welcome to my blog! I hc that jack used to be a normal dude but got dragged into a cult that made him the way he is now!! Real important and relevant to my take on him/I haven't seen many other people use that spin on fan story for this sort of thing

Anyways

As per the whole "his body is shifting into something horrific," thing, his tongue literally. Splits into several tendrils

Havent decided on an exact number, but hes got.. a few alright!

Thick, but get thinner to the tips; and they have the same goop that leaks from Jack's eyes! Sensitive sense of taste; and he can kinda detect scents with them, like snakes do!!

His mouth is kinda crowded, though, so sometimes he'll talk with a bit of a lisp (?), or accidentally bite himself

Now onto the real horror; the process of his tongue splitting was painful, and long. He felt all of it, and given that he's literally turning into a man eating monster, he was unable to seek medical help; so he had to suffer alone and without aid

Obviously, if your tongue is splitting itself open, there's gonna be a mess plus lots and lots of pain

Poor dude

Moving on

They writhe

A lot

Especially when theres... food.. nearby; they tend to flick out (snake like!!!) If hes hungry (tends to lose himself for a while)

In the most sfw way I can say it because there is literally no way I can say it without being sus, they kinda??? Wrap around things??

Like okay I had an art idea, to draw jack with a blood-popsicle, since summer is coming; and with the previous hcs it'd make sense that his tongues would just naturally latch around it and grip said blood-pop

So that's my hc now

Also back to horror stuff i feel like that'd make his feeding frenzies all the more terrifying

I mean when he goes into one he completely loses all his humanity and thoughts and just jumps on someone

Imagine he latches onto someone and like

Idfk anchors them into the persons flesh so they cant just easily shove him off

That's terrifying

I love it sm

Downside; kissing jack is not fun since 1) it's a legitimate choking hazard, and 2) the goop makes his tongues taste gross

I feel like the goop is also, to a degree, corrosive

Or at least, an irritant

Like super powered saliva that can break down meat fast; also explains why I draw jack with huge dark circles n shit around his eyes

I bet yall (who follow my main) just thought I made him tired

Nope, it's his flesh being slowly burned away!! Granted hes more durable to it since the whole monster thing + it's his own material but

Still

So

Yeah!!!

Take what you will with these hcs

[hathay]

twst second year halloween hc’s pt1<3

warnings: horror movie mention?

includes: jamil, kalim, silver, & ruggie!

tis but a silly little halloween spur of the moment hc post, i’m gonna do the other second years as well most likely:)

〄jamil〄

- he really enjoys dressing up for halloween. it makes him feel cool, especially if it’s something powerful/scary. he doesn’t know why he likes it so much, but boy does he.

- i think he likes candy idc. i just think he’s picky about it. he likes certain candy and if you ask him nice enough he’ll pass over the candy you asked for with a roll of his eyes (he’s totally hiding a small smirk/smile thing)

- as much has he may WANT to claim that he does not want to hand out candy to kids, (he swears he can’t stand them and it’s a waste of his time) he sure as hell seems to be sporting a small little smile.

- trying to convince him to match costumes is a FEAT, if he decides he cares enough he will, but it better be worth his time.

- i think you could try and convince him to carve pumpkins, he’d be able to use it later for pumpkin curry, but he’d try his little heart out for going all out on his carving.

- he’s a smug man when he watches a horror movie (and pretends it has no effect on him) and the people he’s watching with are very scared especially if he feels like he is ‘protecting them’ (not without some teasing.)

- (also may feel the need to check candy like a worried parents. not just kalims, give him yours as well, or please just be careful, you don’t know who you can and can’t trust)

❧silver❧

- he loves halloween but unfortunately doesn’t last for long, he is a sleepy boy after all.

- he honestly prefers giving candy to people than receiving it himself.

- more than anything he just enjoys dressing up and spending time with the people closest to him.

- you wanna match costumes? done deal, he’s fully committed and feels so special about it.

- he doesn’t get scared very easily (much to lilia and others dismay) he just lightly laughs it off

- he will definitely watch halloween movies with you, but you may have shake him awake (gently pls) when it starts to get good.

- LOVES halloween stories, especially if you have ones he hasn’t heard, he is so interested in it, he may seem like he is passed out but trust me he is intently listening and will ask so many questions.

❂kalim❂

- loves halloween so bad, he just loves seeing people all dressed up and happy.

- he IS the rich neighborhood, he buys the biggest bars of candy and is absolutely willing to give it out.

- after getting candy he likes to trade with others especially to get more of his favorites. (he makes sure to trade some specifically to get more of jails favorite candy to give him)

- tries to be scary, SO HARD, but fails, how can anyone find his lil face scary? but if he does manage to actually scare someone he laughs it off, but apologizes if he thinks he went too far.

- he would be OVER THE MOON about matching costumes, he’d feel the need to tell everyone and make sure they ALL know who he is matching with.

- begs to watch halloween movies because he just doesn’t want the night to end, as a result he ends up clinging on for dear life to whoever’s closest.

ꐠruggieꐠ

- totally steals candy i don’t wanna hear it. he usually doesn’t steal from younger kids though (unless they’re being snotty douches yk?), usually it’s from older people he finds out.

- those bowls that just have a note to ‘take one piece’ of candy. HE DOESN’T. he will take handfuls, he’ll leave enough that other people can still get some, but he is definitely taking his fill.

- needs, NEEDS to go to the wealthy areas because he knows they give out the good candy. (kalim here he comes)

- makes sure to bring someone like jack or kalim who he knows will give him some of his candy.

- he can go all right, so many rounds, even changed costumes to go around again for more candy.

- sometimes he sees some cute kids and gives em a few pieces of his candy, especially if they don’t have a lot.

- he’d tease the HELL outta you for suggesting matching costumes (but would completely wear them anyways, as long as he gets to pick what y’all wear when you go around again for more candy)

[fairytale-poll]

ROUND 2D, MATCH 2 OUT OF 8!

Propaganda Under the Cut:

Carrie:

Cinderella’s ball goes badly and she kills a town. What is there not to love?

Carrie is a horror retelling of Cinderella, look it up it's true

Cinderella:

The embodiment of "Aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you just want to go apeshit?" but then she eventually decides that even if she's tired of being nice it's still worthwhile to try, and that doesn't mean she had to let people walk all over her

Her story is so fascinating, and she feels more realistic than other depictions of Cinderella. Most ItW characters have some fatal flaw- hers is her indecisiveness. After she goes to the ball, it isn’t a spell ending at midnight causing her to leave- it’s her fear of being discovered as a peasant. But the Prince loves her, so should she stay? But what would he do if she finds out she’s poor? But what if he wants that in a wife? But she wouldn’t fit in. But how would she know if she fits in if she doesn’t know who she is? This dilemma is what leads to her leaving her shoe on the steps of the palace and seeing if he comes back for her. But we know this story, she gets with the Prince and they live happily ever after… until act 2. The tree marking her mother’s grave has fallen down due to a rampaging giant, and she goes to mourn the loss of it. While she’s there, she learns of heartbreaking news- her husband cheated on her. Now this could lead to another example of her indecisiveness, but by now she’s grown from her last venture into the woods. She knows exactly what she needs to do and how to do it. She meets up with her companions from act 1 and comes up with a plan to kill the giant. But before this, she notices one member of the group, Little Red Riding Hood, is looking gloomy. The girl’s mother and granny had died due to the wrath of the giant, and she’s questioning her morality because she’s about to kill somebody. Cinderella, who knows about losing a mother, comforts her with the heartwrenching No One Is Alone, where she assures Red that there will always be someone looking out for her. She then runs into the Prince, and she confronts him on his infidelity. She is given the option to return to her marriage with him, but she denies and tells him to consider her “a victim of the giant.” After the giant is defeated, she moves in the with other survivors of the attack and helps our main character the Baker raise his newborn baby, as well as take care of Red and Jack. I wouldn’t consider anybody in ItW a good person- grey morality is a major theme in the show, after all- but out of the main cast, Cinderella is easily the most moral. Also she feels super aromantic so we love that for her too.

Into the woods is an incredible deconstruction of fairytales in general, and her arc is my favorite. Her story focuses on being a damsel because she doesn’t know what she wants.  She even purposely leaves her shoe so she doesn’t have to choose if the prince finds her. The show ends with her realizing that she has to have agency even if the choices she makes might be bad because that’s just part of being an adult. Also she has great songs.

SHE JUST WANTS A FUN NIGHT OUT, NONE OF THIS SUDDEN QUEENLY RESPONSIBILITY!

in this version she intentionally leaves behind the shoe because she's indecisive over whether she wants to stay at home which is familiar but horrible or go with the prince to the palace which is a whole new world for her she isn't used to at all and doesn't feel like she belongs. by leaving the shoe behind she makes it the prince's choice instead. but after she does marry him she still finds herself rather unhappy especially considering her prince is unfaithful and just all around sucks. by the end she decides to move in with a baker after leaving the prince finally finding the in between she was looking for. it's a really interesting take on her imo.

Okay we all know the movie adaptation is garbage but hear me out: I think that Anna Kendrick does a really good job of portraying her in the movie. She’s not nearly as bad as the Baker who was played by James fucking Cordon. With what she’s given, she does a really good job of portraying this version of Cinderella, who to me feels like a lost child that now as an adult is trying to figure out her place in the world. She’s indecisive but she wasn’t given the same tools in life as others to become that more confident and strong version of herself, which she finally is able to do by the end.

SHES SILLY!!! i had a huge essay but i realize now that i should probably save it for it's own post so here's a shortened version: -A huge part of her character arc revolves around realizing the prince is an asshole and she wasn't actually in love with him, but an idea of him (she's so comphet lesbian coded) -She can talk to birds and they do favors for her, but people think it's weird -She actually sometimes enjoys cleaning, when her step family isn't forcing her to do it. -Has multiple bangers, the first being On The Steps of The Palace where she basically goes "hm i think my life would be much easier and greatly improved if i just let other people decide my future for me" (aka leaving her shoe on the palace steps and letting fate decide if the prince finds her or not). The second is No One Is Alone, where she has what I would argue is one of the best solos in the entire show -Overall I think she's a really layered adaptation of Cinderella that seems like the standard kind no personality princess but is actually a really good study on romance and getting what you want and also shes a huge girlfail and we love her for that <3 ok bye Girlypop's husband cheats on her with the Baker's Wife and is told this by birds. That entire sentence is just batshit and no other Cinderella version has this. Not to mention the keep the step-sisters being blinded by said birds