#why even the abusive characters are never really that simple

[mikkeneko]

watching Jiang antis go, as a Scum Villain reader, never ceases to be kind of wild

[vamptastic]

danganronpa is whispering its siren song to me but alas nobody shares my big brain million iq opinions (drv3 hater) (korekiyo defender) (ishimaru understander) (celeste and hifumi apologist) (kaito hater) (protagonist love triangle poly advocate) (post sdr2 anime enjoyer) (fucking hates the writing bar the first half of sdr1 and ending of sdr2) (never even finished v3 because it was so dogshit terrible and also i genuinely can barely get through the minigames) (problematic psychological horror fan)

[art]

Creator Spotlight: @velinxi​

Hello! I’m Xiao Tong Kong, better known as “Velinxi.” I’m the creator of the webcomic Countdown to Countdown and have been doing freelance artwork since I was a teenager. I love telling stories with my illustrations! Tumblr was where I first got my start as an artist, specifically a small fandom artist as a hobby… and now I’m somehow here! When I’m not trying my best to stay awake in front of my tablets, I’m usually cooking, gaming, or sleeping. Sometimes all three, in my dreams.

Check out our interview with Velinxi below!

Did you originally have a background in art? If not, how did you start?

Yeah! I’ve basically been on track to become an artist since I was a child. I went to a middle school with an emphasis on arts and a high school specializing in it. I went to SVA briefly for computer arts but dropped out to pursue freelance and webcomics after my first year.

Over the years as an artist, what or who were your biggest inspirations behind your creativity?

My biggest inspirations growing up were Yuumei and Shilin Huang, two titans on DeviantArt back in the day. They still inspire me today, but the list of inspirations has grown exponentially over the years, including artists, movies, entire art movements, etc.

What was your thought process behind the creation of your webcomic, Countdown to Countdown?

Well, Countdown to Countdown started as a passion project back when I was 15, in high school, and pretty depressed. I just wanted to draw whatever story I thought was cool, inspired by my favorite media at the time. There was a very loose beginning and outline, but I was truly just writing as I drew the story. That’s why I had to stop the comic in 2018 and restart from scratch the year after. Now, the story has a set story and a clear outline. It still has similar roots, characters, and themes of neglect, abuse, and escape—but I think the story is a lot easier to follow now. It’s got an artstyle I can actually keep up with in the long run. The origin of why CTC exists also remains the same: I simply wanted to make a story I wanted to read for myself. Which happens to be about two dumb boys with superpowers navigating a hostile world that wants them dead or caged—together.

Have you ever had an art block? If so, how did you overcome it?

Oh, all the time. It’s part of the process. Personally, though—I just have to draw through it. Every month on my Patreon, I have my patrons vote on a theme I have to draw by the end of the month, and I try my best to make it as interesting as possible. I draw quite a few—tens even, of doodles or compositions for each of these themes to try to make something that tells a story while still being aesthetically pleasing and clear. I think pushing myself like this helps with art block, really. I also do remember to take breaks and simply consume other media I like! It gets the inspiration juices flowing.

Advice you would give to an aspiring creator?

If you do one—your first webcomic should be a short, fun, messy thing. It’s not often you can get it right the first time, but you’ll certainly learn a lot through sheer experience. This goes for a lot of things in art, to be honest.

What is a medium that you have always been intrigued by but would never use yourself?

3D Animation. I briefly learned it at SVA, and I think that’s enough of that tech for me. I accept that there are some things that are truly beautiful if done right, and I am too simple and lazy for it.

What is your goal for the rest of this year?

Get Countdown to Countdown book 2 finished! And live HAHA

Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?

@yuumei-art on Tumblr, still! They’ve been a huge inspiration for digital artists and storytellers online for years. I have no doubt that many digital artists of my generation have been influenced by them, and they’re still here, making beautiful art and stories. It’s a thing to behold.

Thanks for stopping by, Velinxi! If you haven’t seen her Meet the Artist piece, be sure to check it out here. You can also follow her for more amazing art over at her Tumblr, @velinxi!

[dulcesiabits]

dissection of a liar.

summary: He's just a layer of lies, delicately stacked on top of one another. But who is Lyney underneath all of that?

notes: 2k words, fic, character study, heavy spoilers for lyney and lynette's backstory, a vivid depiction of murder, a depiction of physical abuse, someone looks at lynette in a weird way

“You’re not being honest with me.”

At a little cafe nestled deep within the city streets, framed by trailing ivy and the aroma of freshly roasted coffee, Lyney finds his tongue caught by the proverbial cat.

You blow on the surface of your teacup, liquid rippling with each breath, perfectly unaware that you’ve just caused his world to somersault and tumble. Lyney drums his fingers on the table, a slow accompaniment to his racing heartbeat. 

“I’m more honest with you than I would be with any other person in this city,” he says, tilting his head just so, keeping the angles of his smile relaxed, gentle. 

“Which isn’t saying much.” You take a sip of your tea, the words mingling with the steam rising from your cup. 

“Are you… mad?”

“No. I can’t force you to open up. But… I want you to be able to trust me.”

“I do trust you,” he says instantly, but it’s the wrong thing to say.

You set down your cup with a quiet clatter. “No. You keep me at an arm’s length. You’re holding back. What are you hiding, Lyney? What are you so afraid of?”

And for once, he doesn’t have the right words to say. Because you’re asking for the truth, and that’s the one thing he doesn’t know how to give you.

—

Lyney is thirteen the first time time he kills someone.

It was supposed to be a simple mission for Father; sneak into a noble’s home, steal some documents while leaving decoys behind, and abscond into the night. Quick, painless, easy. A perfect mission for his nimble fingers and quick wit, with Lynette acting as support from the outside.

But things go wrong the moment he steps foot into the mansion. Having memorized the shifts of the nightly security patrol, and knowing the right way to avoid detection from guardmeks, what he can’t account for is the off-patrol officer lounging in the room he lands in.

They stare at each other, he and this man. No, a boy, really, someone with a faint, peachy mustache, and round cheeks still shaking off the last of childhood. 

The officer raises his gun, and Lyney tenses– the window is right behind him, but the officer is blocking off the door, and if he leaves now, it would ruin everything– and then the officer hesitates. 

“You’re just a kid,” he mumbles, and Lyney could laugh. 

A bead of sweat trickles down Lyney’s neck. With each passing minute, the chance of failure grows, and with it, the risk of Father’s displeasure.

There’s a knife hidden on his leg. Father trains all the children in all the tedious minutiae of death. But it’s only supposed to be a last resort for spies such as him.

There’s a rap on the window, and Lynette’s face, ghostly in the glass, shines through. Her mouth starts to open, a silent question, and the officer whips his gun towards the noise, finger tightening on the trigger, and he’s going to shoot– she’ll be hurt– not again. Never again– And then the guard is on the floor, and there’s a knife in Lyney’s hands, and it’s over before it even begins.

But then, why is there blood? Blood, everywhere. On the carpet. On his hands. On his knife. Pooling beneath his feet, splattered in his hair. 

In the center of it all, a body.

A gash in the guard’s throat, torn flesh and blood trickling, like red jam in the center of uncooked dough. Limbs twitching, jumping, his hand opening and closing, grasping for something that’s not there. The guard gurgles, choking on his own blood. And he’s just a boy. Just a boy, really. With a patchy mustache and pimples on his face and a family back home wondering where he is– and he’s staring at Lyney and he keeps staring his eyes bluer than the sky– and he–

“We have to go.” Lynette touches his shoulder. At some point, she’d crept up besides him, avoiding the gore behind her. She shifts, blocking his view of the officer. “We attracted too much attention.”

Somehow, they make it back safely. Father only spares them a single glance at the orphanage. “I won’t tolerate any mistakes next time.” 

A warning. The implicit understanding this would be the only one he gets. 

That night, long after Lynette has drifted off, he stands in front of a porcelain sink, and scrubs. He scrubs his hands. His arms. Under his nails. Even when the water draining down the sink turns from pink to crystal clear, he can’t stop. The smell of iron and rust. The officer’s sightless eyes. He keeps washing until he can’t feel his fingers in the running water.

Just a kid. Just a kid, the officer had said. They were just kids.

For the next few years, every time he sleeps, he thinks of those eyes. Like chips of blue glass, his own pale face reflecting in their depths. 

—

Before Father, there is a noble. Richly-dressed, with fine, aristocratic features, and golden hair. A beautiful man, some might have said, but Lyney knows better. The worst monsters never looked like one. 

Once, when Lyney fumbles a magic trick in front of some important guests, the noble smiles, and excuses his behavior due to nerves. Later, when the last guest leaves, the noble guides him to the kitchen, pats his head gently, and orders the butler to lash his back until he learns his lesson. 

“Your sister will get the lashes if you mess up again,” the noble tells him as Lyney lies on the floor, barely conscious, with fire searing down his spine.

And the way the noble looks at his sister. It sets Lyney’s teeth on edge with a sheer sense of wrongness. He looks at her like she is nothing more than a body, to be used and discarded. 

“Stay away from him,” he whispers to Lynette. “Don’t be in a room alone with him if you can help it. Come find me if something happens.” 

But at the end of the day, his warnings, his attempts to protect his sister, are useless. The day he comes home and Lynette is gone, something in him breaks.

What is a child to a world so infinitely cruel and vast?

—

In this world, it’s just he and Lynette, Lynette and he. 

Since before the beginning, they have never been apart. They shared the same dream in their mother’s head, the same womb for nine months. 

His family. The only person he can trust. Before he’s a magician, a Fatuus, or even a human, he is first and foremost Lynette’s big brother.

Others can hurt them. Betray them. Use them. But Lynette? They are the same flesh and blood. If she were to be struck, he would feel the same pain. There is no world he can exist in without her by his side.

“Lynette,” he whispers, shaking her shoulder. “Wake up!”

“Don’t wanna.”

“Come on!”

It’s a quiet night at the orphanage, a few weeks after Father has taken them in. The calluses are still forming on his fingers, and his hands have yet to adjust to the bow that Father has given him.

“Fine. What do you want?” Lynette whispers, rubbing at her eyes.

“I saw something outside,” he whispers. He grabs her hands, tugging her out of bed, and Lynette only grumbles as they tumble down the hall and towards the window in the foyer, where he taps one finger against the glass.

A single arc of light darts across the sky, and when he closes his eyes, the glowing afterimage dances across the dark of his eyelids.

“Let’s make a wish on it,” he says.

“This is what you made me leave bed for?”

“Yes! For a wish!”

“Fine.” Lynette closes her eyes in thought, ears twitching in concentration. A second later, they open. “Done.”

“What did you wish for?” he asks.

“What did you wish for?” she counters.

“I wished that I could protect you forever,” he says immediately. Their hands are still intertwined, fingers mixing together like the limbs of a single beast.

“I thought you would wish for something like that,” she mumbles.

“What’s your wish?”

“Mine was to protect you,” she says. 

“I’m the big brother, though. That’s my job.”

She shakes her head. “No. We’re twins. It’s an equal duty.”

“I was born earlier.”

“That does NOT count.”

“It does.”

Lynette sighs. “But, Lyney, you’re always looking after me. Why can’t I watch over you too?”

He chews his bottom lip. “Okay, okay. We can look after each other.”

“Good.”

“But I get to look after you a bit more because I’m older,” Lyney adds. 

“Hey!”

He grins at his sister. Lyney and Lynette, Lynette and Lyney. In this world, they are nothing without each other. 

(In the morning, they will learn the streak of light was a burning airship, its wreckage hurtling through the sky. But for now, it is an inexplicable miracle). 

—

You’re like sunlight.

That’s the first thing Lyney thinks when he sees you. Warm and bright, with a lovely smile. A real one, unlike the one he has practiced to perfection. An ordinary person, with no ties to the machinations of gods and political organizations, simply trying to live your best, day by day.

Maybe that’s why his eyes can’t help but trail after you again and again. 

“Stop staring, brother. You’re drooling,” Lynette tells him dryly, and he starts.

“Lynette! Don’t tease your brother like that!” But his eyes are still glued to your figure in the distance, a basket of groceries under your arm. 

It starts, as it always does with him, a flirtation. A quick magic trick, a flower. A smooth line, quickly plucked and polished and offered to you.

“What’s this?” he says, presenting a ticket to you with a flourish. “It seems I’ve found an invitation to Lyney and Lynette’s magic show hidden behind your ear.” 

You press the ticket to your lips, and he can feel the touch tingling on his own skin. “I suppose I should stop by, then.” 

A gift here, an invitation there. A chance meeting around town. A quick trip to a bakery. Anything to see that smile of yours again, lovelier than a rose in bloom.

“Lyney,” you say to him once. “You don’t have to try so much.”

“What do you mean?” 

As you smile mischievously, his heart does an involuntary leap. “I’d like you whether you use those pickup lines on me or not. But it is cute to see you trying so hard.”

And maybe this is the real reason he makes time to see you, again and again: because you cut through him to the bone. You tilt your head, like you want to understand him, like you can see through the lies he’s lived for so long.

It’s unnerving at the same time that it thrills him. If he’s not careful, you might rip apart his lies like a house of cards, easily collapsing under your careful touch.

—

Sometimes, Lyney isn’t sure which are the lies, and which is the truth. 

Who is he, really? A magician. A Fatuus. An older brother.

A child, no matter how old he is, because a part of him is still cringing, waiting for the next blow of the lash.

If you were to cut him open, you might find the typical anatomy of a human: nerves and sinew, blood and flesh, beating arteries and pulsing organs. Or you might find nothing at all, a hollow space where a human should be. 

“I want to trust you,” he says quietly. “I just need a little bit more time.”

You stir at your tea thoughtfully. “Okay. I can wait. If you’re worried, why don’t you start with something small? Just give me a little piece at a time.”

A little piece at a time. Maybe his spleen one day. And his liver the next. Organ by organ, until there’s nothing left, and you hold every vulnerable piece of him in your hands.

One breath. Then another. And this time, not as a magician, or a liar, but just the man who loves you, he starts with a story. “A long time ago, Lynette and I lived on the streets…”

[heartsfourdazai]

Hey love, hope your all right. So Hoe about dazai with an s/o who always acts cheery and all childish like him in order to hide their immense trauma. So whenever someone scolds Them bit too loud reader flinches but again brushes it off?? ❤️

SRRY IS THIS TOO LIKE ANGSTY I RLLY AM CRAVING FOR HURT TO COMFORT RN----

You don't have to do it BTW ^^

"it's okay... to not feel happy all the time."

taglist : @justcallmesakira @riiwrites @silverbladexyz @atlasnessie

warnings : angst to comfort, lowercase writing, cursing, mention of past abuse, evil exes(heheh scott pilgrim), kunikida is SOOOO out of character holy shiiitttt (╥﹏╥) not proofread, sorry!!

HAII BABEEEE!!! consider your cravings feed!! i'm actually like this irl omg is that why i'm so excited to write this???? hope you enjoy

i love dazai so much :( my back hurts from slouchinggg i'll have back problems by the time i'm fricking twenty!!!!

osamu dazai x gn reader

dazai

HEADCANONS ₊˚ෆ

you are so cute.

almost everyday is a new adventure for him when he's with you.

he's the first thing you see in the morning.

he opens his eyes and your all in his face like; "hi, sisters!!" and he literally shrieks, but don't tell anybody.

you start tickle fights with him all the time when you seem to be in an upset mood or just want to hear him laugh, but can you ever win?

he will play along with you because too be honest; he is just as childish as you are from time to time. ESPECIALLY when he's with you!!

you grab his arm a lot and jump up and down when something really gets you excited.

once, kunikida agreed to use his card to buy you some ice cream at the fair and you grabbed onto dazai's arm and almost slapped him in the face with his own hand.

he's never really understood why you get so like that over something so childish.

be glad it's not fyodor; SHEESH.

until, one evening.

you screwed up on a mission with atsushi; too which caused kunikida to throw his anger out on you. all the two of you were ordered to do, was to steal the documents you were ordered to retrieve in order to take down this small organization of scary gifted (not the port guys; •⤙•)

atsushi had to save you from a sudden attack, injuring him in the process, having no other choice but to retreat.

yosano treated him up right away.

atsushi noticed the way your arms would flinch up to your face each time kunikida would raise his voice, but honestly kunikida was just ranting about how stupid it was for you to get distracted over such a childish thing like a stray kitten.

he gave kunikida a look, saying to calm down and just go rage somewhere else without having you in the room.

after that you mentioned none of this to dazai; however atsushi thought telling him the way you reacted would be the right thing to do as both your friends.

SCENARIO ₊˚ෆ

"HOW can you be so careless, y/n?!"

it was almost like you felt a knife stab through your rib.

over and over for the past couple minutes kunikida has been going off about you getting distracted on the mission you and your weretiger friend, atsushi nakajima, were assigned on.

"i thought you would be perfect for this job because of how focused you were on all our other missions. WHAT HAPPENED?"

you gulped on your spit, your arms shalking from the once again booming voice come from kunikida.

it was a simple mistake-

"SIMPLE??"

atsushi side eyed you to see how you were holding as he was just awkwardly standing beside you as kunikida continued to just shout at you.

he would noticed your lips tremble ever so slightly, you head held down low as your fingers played with the fabric of your pants as you plucked up the courage to finally speak; "i'm sorry, kunikida. i didn't mean to screw up-"

"we'll, you wouldn't have to be sorry if you had just DONE YOUR JOB!"

your eyes were fixated on the floor still as you took in a deep breath, "jesus, i knew you were childish, but y/n what the fuck!?"

he swore.

atushsi was also getting a bit uncomfortable at kunikida's screaming session.

"atsushi got hurt on this mission, y/n, because you!"

without another word, you ran past atsushi who reached out t grab you back, however kunikida told him to let you go as he sat at his desk, removing his glasses, rubbing the bridge is nose.

with a frown he watched as you ran, looking at the carpeted floor to notice some tear stains following the exit.

you ran.

and ran, and ran, and ran.

into on coming traffic, past strangers who complained when you accidently bumped into them, and to yours and dazai's apartment.

there you were now. standing in the lobby of the apartment, the security guard awkwardly looking at you as you entered the elevator that has opened after a couple of seconds of waiting.

you used the mirror to look at yourself in as you quickly tried to wipe the tears away from your face, and maybe any makeup you may have had on? does it matter, it all melted away anyways!

your floor arrived, and the ding from the elevator dinged as you exit it and slowly walk toward the door of your home.

you fumbled for your keys that were in your pocket, even after all that running and bumping you did to get here, hands shaking with fear.

kunikida's voice echoed through your head; "are you really that childish? he never seemed to care...why does he have to shout?? there's no need for it, no? and even atsushi was there, double the embarrassment!!"

"'donna!?"

dazai's voice rang through your head as you looked up at him at the door step. oh, right, you unlocked the door but have yet to open it, causing osamu to do it for you.

"i thought you were at work, your shift doesn't end till..oh, well you still have 35 minutes?"

you pushed the thoughts in your head in the back of your mind, and gave him the biggest smile you could muster and hugged him, giggling and spinning around until you reached inside.

"don't worry, i just felt like coming home early to see my handsome and amazing boyfriend, who promised me ice cream waffles when i did get home!"

dazai chuckled, grabbing you by the waist and using his foot to close the door, managing to keep you in the air with one hand as he quickly used the other one to lock the door behind the two of you.

"well, i can tell someone's been excited all day?" you giggled, although your throat hurts from crying so much on the way here, dazai hadn't had seem to notice.

or so you think.

he placed you on the couch, gently kissing your lips before slowly pulling away. your eyes were still closed as he did and a smile on your face.

"feel free to choose whatever you like, my dear~" he taps the remote for the tv on your head and hands it to you; "well thank you kindly, my...man?"

he smiled at your cute comeback, causing you both to giggle as he walked to the kitchen.

you could hear him to rattle around with the toaster and opening and closing of fridges and freezers, probably for the ice cream.

when he was out of sight, you checked to feel anymore tears on your eyes and sniffled softly, not knowing dazai had already figured everything out.

"so, how was my sweethearts day, today? make any new friends?"

you chuckled, knowing he meant about the stray kittens you always seem to run to.

"it was alright, what about yours?" you tried to change the focus onto him, but he was smarter then that.

"mm, boring without my angel. day-off's are so sad without you," you heard the sound of the waffle popping out of the toaster, "didn't you have that mission today with atsushi? tell me, how did that go?

he expected the sudden silence that had filled the room. he scooped vanilla ice-cream into a small bowl for you; and only you, as he hummed.

"'donna, don't go quiet now. talk to me..."

you felt the tears roll back again. it was that voice that made you all emotional again. it was so soft and gentle, almost as if he's whispering into your when he's on the opposite of the room.

you took a shaky deep breath in as you stopped clicking the buttons on the remote, you stared at it, your hands shaking once again as you tried to control your crying.

dazai had a blank face was he added whip cream to top of the dish, and finally emerged from the kitchen...his eyes immediately on your figure which was seated on the couch, right where he left you, however your cute and childish personality wasn't.

he slowly walked over to you, his eyes drifting away from you to place the bowl on the table in front of you. you looked down to take a look at the dish; it was a waffle and ice cream scooped into it, like it's own bowl, and whip cream on the sides to give it the mountain shape, "you can do more then stare at it, ya'know?" he smiled, sitting beside you suddenly and wrapped an arm around your shoulder.

you felt yourself suddenly start crying; to which he pouts at; "it was first mission, darling, there will always be more-"

"IT'S NOT ABOUT ME FAILING IT!"

he looked at you like wide eyes and nod; "something more?"

you sighed loudly and hugged yourself, "it's just-" you kept stuttering due to your lack of breath from your sobbing,

"take your time, it's alright." he gently scratches your scalp to sooth you.

"kunikida...gohot so mahad...he...he yelled, he swore at him, he got close to my face...ahand the..thehe thoughts..ihi..ihi could only thihink abouhut my ex...whoho would do the sahame when i screhw something uhup.."

although you kept sniffling and breathing hard through, dazai understood each and every word.

his hands moved to rub the back of your neck, as his other held your hand tightly as you cuddled into him, your tears staining his dress shirt.

"ihi...just got schahared...ihi just whanted to...to have you...buhut i didn't want to bohother you with my prohoblems.."

dazai couldn't believe was he was hearing.

you, giving him problems about your mental health? what are you, MAD?? no, just insecure. which he understood completely.

"may i?" he asks, taking your cheeks in his one palm, making you look at him. not knowing what you agreeing to, he suddenly pulls you in for a tender, soft kiss.

you almost forgot what his kisses felt like, all the memories of your ex made you almost forget you have found somebody new, who will never, ever, want to hurt you without having any sense of what he's talking about.

moments later, he pulled away, placing his forehead to yours's as tears spilled from your eyes; however these were the tears that brought joy and happiness to your relationship.

he was never good with the words of comfort, however this is the reason why he is learning to be better, for you.

"there are bad, bad people in this world, and sometimes they change, some don't. i would know, but that doesn't mean everyone has such an evil heart. like you.." he chuckled, poking your chest, "you have such a pure heart, only the kindest of souls could ever have a chance to ever get close to it and open up to it. kunikida is just a grumpy man, when things don't go as planned he just goes.."

dazai circled his finger by his temple, causing that adorable smile to appear on your face.

"oh, there's that smiiile~" he laughed as he suddenly dig his long fingers into your soft sides, causing you to squeal and laugh immediately, "theres that smile, yeaah, awh~ your so cute, i could just eat you up-"

"DAHAZAI!"

you screeched when he nibbles on your neck, now tickling your upper ribs as well.

all those nasty thoughts that were in the back of your mind, dazai has a way of taking them and tossing them out the window and making sure you go to sleep with that cute smile on your face every night.

[turtletaubwrites]

Misty Eyes ~ Part 3

THIS FIC CONTAINS DARK CONTENT. 18+ ONLY. MDNI. *This part contains two Doffy flashbacks with a graphic depiction of violence including blood, murder of an unnamed character, and the reader being sick, as well as implied sexual encounters. Doffy flashback sections are marked between these symbols ~🦩🦩🦩~ so you can skip past them if you'd like. The chapter begins with one of these graphic memories, but ends with some Hurt/Comfort & sweet fluff!

Pairings: Trafalgar Law x Fem!Reader, Doflamingo x Fem!Reader (Past & Flashbacks)

Word Count: 5768

Misty Eyes Masterlist

Ao3 Link

Summary: You try to acclimate to life aboard this yellow submarine, but your past keeps tearing you apart. All that Doffy made you do feels like a stain on your soul, and you're afraid you'll never be clean.

Author's Note: This one gets really fucked up, but I hope the sweet ending makes up for it! 🖤 I have added the dead dove do not eat tag, so please heed the warnings, and do not read if they might be triggering for you.

Thank you so much @pinejayyfor this delicious request!!

Rating/Warnings: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Explicit Sexual Content, 18+ ONLY, MDNI, AFAB!Reader, She/Her Pronouns for Reader, Reader-Insert, Devil Fruit User Reader, Swearing, Eventual Smut, Angst, Pet Names, Degradation, Punishment, Emotional Abuse, DARK CONTENT, DUBCON, Grooming, Trauma, Past Sexual Abuse, Manipulation, Power Imbalance, Dubious Consent, Donquixote Doflamingo is His Own Warning, Bondage, Dissociation, Inappropriate Use of Akuma no Mi | Devil Fruit Powers, Kissing, Shame, Blood and Violence, Vomiting, Minor Character Death, (unnamed character), Sparring, Childhood Memories, Chaste Childhood Kiss, Teasing, Tickling, Yandere Donquixote Doflamingo, Hurt/Comfort, Other Additional Tags To Be Added

!!! SPOILERS !!! This story begins during the 2 year timeskip before the Punk Hazard Arc, and there will also be spoilers for the Dressrosa Arc for backstory lore

| masterlist | about me | rules | ao3 |

~🦩🦩🦩~

“Another simple mission too much for you, Y/N?”

Doffy ducked a bit as he sauntered into the room, his voice making your enemy freeze with her sea prism stone blade to your throat.

“Young mast–”

Your target smirked at you, pressing the tip of the blade into your flesh, just enough to cut your words. 

“Are you good and scared,” she taunted, ignoring the powerful man at her back.

Is she fucking stupid? She has to know who he is.

Doffy grinned as he moved closer, until you saw yourself reflected in his sunglasses over your enemy’s head. Neither of the menacing figures before you moved or spoke for a moment, leaving your mind in chaos. 

I failed him again. He’s not helping me. Why would he? I’m worthless. 

The woman chuckled, showing no fear as the future king of the pirates towered over her. Until his large hand fisted her hair, lifting her until her toes barely touched the ground. A shocked cry left her lips, her satisfied smirk torn away as she struggled to free herself.

“You really can’t do anything on your own, can you?”

Humiliation poured over you, making you wish that the blade had cut you deeper. The prick of blood on your throat wasn’t nearly enough to drown your shame. 

The woman laughed, even as she struggled in Doffy’s grasp. She choked on that laughter as the blade in her hand flew toward her own neck, tugged by invisible strings. 

“Wait, you said–”

Those frantic eyes had tried to look toward the young master, but her words ended as a flood of red left her throat. Doffy laughed, watching your wide eyes while the woman thrashed. The blade clattered to the floor as a rain of bright, hot blood fell upon it. He took a step toward you, letting all that cherry red cascade down your chest as you stared into the woman’s dying eyes.

She reached for you, dragging her nails across your throat.

“You’re really gonna let this trash disrespect our family? Disrespect me,” Doffy questioned, as bile rose in your throat.

“N-No, I’m sorry young–”

“Finish it. Pick up the knife, and gut her.”

The woman was still struggling, still fighting, but you knew it wouldn’t be long. 

I have to prove myself. 

You couldn’t move. 

“Do it, Y/N,” Doffy threatened, his voice low as he shoved her closer. That hot blood poured over your face as he lifted her higher. 

You fell to your knees, somehow finding the blade through the red that had covered your eyes, spitting it out of your mouth as you used the wall to stand back up. 

“There you go. Prove you can do something right, Y/N.”

Blinking through the blood, you held the blade to the woman’s stomach, throwing up before you could pierce her flesh. 

Doffy dropped that lightly twitching body as you started to retch, stepping back to watch you cover your enemy in your own pathetic disgrace. 

Choking on sobs as your stomach emptied over the nearly dead form, you tried to wipe and hide your face. There was no way to hide from Doffy, his manic grin looming near as he crouched beside you. 

“Such a pathetic sight. To think that a member of my family could fail me like this,” he tutted, ripping your heart to shreds. 

“I’m so sorry, young master, I–”

Your fingers slipped in the blood and sick on the floor as you tried to push yourself up, until your body moved on its own. 

No. Not on its own. 

Doffy moved it, his fingers extending as he controlled you. A disgusting marionette, dripping with the evidence of shame. 

“So disappointing.”

The young master’s voice weighed you down, even as he held your body up. He directed your movements, forcing you to walk as though you were proud of the sticky failure on your skin. 

I’m nothing. I don’t deserve to live. I don’t deserve his love. 

~🦩🦩🦩~

“Y/N, hey, you’re okay–” 

“I couldn’t do it, I’m too weak. I’m so sorry, young–”

Nausea tore through you, the fight to keep from being sick bringing you into the present. Into the mist. Law’s soothing voice was too full of concern, and you hated taking down your camouflage. Hated letting him see how weak you were. 

“Y/N, can I check your–”

Law’s fingers were on you as soon as you nodded, slipping along the cold sweat that coated your skin as he checked your temperature and pulse. 

“I’m fine,” you lied, your voice hoarse as if you had been sick. 

His hands guided your trembling body as you sat up, your eyes caught on your own misty fingers. 

Pathetic. 

“Do you… wanna talk about it?”

A sharp laugh escaped you, flooding you with guilt. An apology died in your throat as you rubbed your hands over your arms, sliding through that layer of sweat. 

“Can I take a shower?”

~

The “Surgeon of Death” waited outside the bathroom for you. You thought he was trying to help you feel safe by not letting anyone else in, until you remembered the concern, the pity on his face. 

He’s making sure I don’t hurt myself. 

You couldn’t meet his eyes as he tried to speak to you on the way to the galley, but a tiny smile broke through your heavy shame from Law’s poor attempt at small talk. 

“Good morning, Y/N!” Penguin’s voice was too loud as he leaned close to grab breakfast at the counter. The stuffed penguin on his hat bobbed toward you while he spoke.

“Morning,” you greeted, with far less enthusiasm, only to be met with a small orchestra of cheerful voices calling to you, and their captain. 

“Hope you didn’t mind the captain on your floor last night. He used to snore like a–”

“Penguin,” Law commanded, voice low as he gripped his crew mate’s wrist. 

The man's friendly clap on your back had made your shoulders tense up, your jaw clenching as Doffy’s voice boomed through your mind. 

‘Only I’m allowed to touch my little doll,’ Doffy rasped, pinching your thighs almost too hard as you sat in his lap. You tried not to stare at the blood spreading across the marble floor. ‘I don’t like to share.’

“Sure, sorry captain, sorry Y/N…” Penguin took a step back, dipping his head at Law’s frown.

“It’s okay,” you breathed, your lying smile forming so easily on your face before he led you to a table in the corner, away from his happy crew.

I’m like mist, sucking the joy and beauty out of a sunny place.

“Why don’t we skip the interview today,” Law suggested, tapping his pretty fingers on the table.

“But, don’t you nee–”

“I need you to be okay,” he interrupted, reaching those fingers to touch your wrist gently, barely, before pulling away. “Besides, I have something else in mind.”

~ 

Moving through the metal halls felt like a dream, like you’d get lost, and keep walking for years before you woke up. Until he spun the wheel to open a heavy door, leading you into the largest room you’d seen on this underwater ship.

“How nostalgic,” you teased, nodding your head toward the wall of weapons in what was clearly a training room. 

“It’s been a while since you kicked my ass,” he said with a laugh, and you chewed your lip to fight your cheesy smile. He moved down the wall, pulling two daggers free before facing you. “Catch.”

“Wait,” you cried out, ready to move or mist away, but your body acted on its own. You caught the blade he’d thrown your way, gripping it as you smiled to yourself.

“I see you haven’t lost your reflexes,” he hummed, facing off with you.

“What if I had,” you scolded, your free hand on your hip. 

“I knew it couldn’t hurt you. But your enemies might not,” he mused. “Why didn’t you strike? I gave you an opening.”

“What are you–” you laughed, shaking your head at him. “I’m not a fighter anymore. Besides, I don’t want to be mauled by a bear when your crew finds out I tried to attack you.”

His scowl was so sharp, you almost missed his movement. The second blade flew toward you, spinning clear with the ringing of metal as you blocked it with the first dagger.

“What the fuck, Law?”

He ignored you as he pulled a sword from the wall, striding your way with death in his eyes. Your body slid into a stance it hadn’t felt in years, and you gritted your teeth. Barely escaping Law’s attack, you used the dagger to deflect his blade as you rolled away.

“Why are–”

His sword came down over your head, and you misted out of reach, your breath heavy as anger and fear started to build. 

“Law! Why–”

“Why do you keep saying you’re weak?”

You froze, unable to move as he plunged his sword through your chest, meeting nothing but mist.

“What happened to the girl that could kick my ass? Until I’d get her back, of course,” he grinned, offering his hand to help you up. Still frozen, you watched him sigh, dropping the sword as he sat down beside you. 

“Why do you keep saying that you’re weak,” he repeated softly, his gaze stripping you to the bone.

“Because I am weak.”

The words held nothing but truth, a truth you’d long since accepted. 

“Don’t be stupid,” he reprimanded, the insult bringing your eyes to his with a bit of shock and annoyance.

“Is that my doctor’s orders,” you growled, anger showing through your mask for the first time in ages. Pulling your knees up to your chest, you dug your nails into your shins, the comfort of the mild pain helping you stay grounded.  

“Yes,” he deadpanned, your lips parting as you glared. He didn’t drop that judgemental look on his face, and it was too fucking much.

You hid the need to squirm by standing, picking up the weapons to hang back on the wall. The weight of a useless life pushed your shoulders down, until a tattooed hand touched yours, taking one of the daggers from you while you stared at the floor. 

“When we were kids, you were just as strong of a fighter as I was. I don’t understand how that could change, Y/N,” he recalled, voice soft as he touched your chin. His eyes searched yours, as if you were a puzzle he couldn’t solve. 

“I know you’re fierce. Pretty sure I’ve still got a few scars from you,” he laughed, that gentle sound making your eyes drift closed, a bittersweet smile on your lips. 

“I’m not fierce,” you confessed, shivering as your skin burned where his fingers still held your chin. “I couldn’t keep up. My powers are so... I kept failing, just like they said I would.”

“Don’t be an idiot.”

You almost gaped at him again, but his hand on your chin kept your jaw from dropping. Pulling away, you crossed your arms, that irritation growing. 

“Your bedside manner is shit, you know that?”

“We’re not in bed right now,” he countered, his confident voice cut short by his own awkward cough as he continued. “You know what I mean.”

“No, I don’t. I’m not a fighter anymore, Law. I can help you with my memories, you don’t need to do all of this.” He ignored your movements as you gestured to the wall of weapons, falling back into that frown he’s so good at. 

“Get over it.”

“Excuse me?”

He thrust the handle of the dagger into your palm, leaning close. 

“Everyone has to pull their weight on this ship. You’re gonna shadow the crew until we find a job that suits you. You’re gonna sit with me for interviews. And you’re gonna train, just like everyone else,” he commanded, your breath catching as you felt the authority pouring off of him. His fingers were still wrapped around yours, pressing the handle of the blade into your skin.

“Do you under–”

Law grunted with more surprise than pain as your other fist connected with his face. He took a step back, scalding eyes raking over you while he rubbed his jaw, but you cut him off before he could speak. 

“Gotcha, with a capital ‘G,” you declared, moving your arms with the dagger to create a poor image of the letter ‘G.’

Everything else faded from your mind as Law started to laugh, holding himself up with his hands on his knees. You couldn’t help but join him, some good childhood memories finally filling the air between you. 

“Does he still do that,” he asked, still breathless as he fought the laughter.

“Lau G won’t stop doing that until he’s dead and gone.”

He leaned against the wall of weapons, shaking his head as he pulled up ancient memories.

“That old man trained both of us, Y/N. You were neck and neck with me, even though I’d never admit it back then.”

Your face grew hot, hopefully masked by the wheezing laughter you were still recovering from. But shame quickly followed the pride from his praise, so you turned away to stretch, avoiding his discerning eyes.

“Let’s start with hand to hand,” he ordered softly. You let him take the blade from you, meeting him on the mats in the center of the large, echoey room. Bouncing on your heels, you fought to keep yourself in the present. 

‘Can’t take care of a single mission. I’ve never had such a failure in my family before. What should I do with you?’

‘So misty, so flimsy! You’ll never be as strong as us. I bet the young master will throw you out soon.’

‘Why don’t you just focus on being pretty, dear. I heard the young master say that’s all you’re good for.’

“I won’t go easy on you," Law's threat broke through your foggy mind. He smirked, taunting you with a tilt to his head. “Kick my ass.”

Falling into a stance without a thought, you tried to be here, to be nothing but this. You couldn’t make the first move, getting annoyed as Law feinted, tapping you here or there until you finally fought back. 

There he was. That silly, angry boy with that wicked smirk. The smirk that you needed to kick off that pretty face. Two years of rivalry, two years of tiny, vicious preteens sparring daily, came flooding back as the sounds filled the training room. The sounds of fists and shins connecting with bodies, breaths and grunts, snarky remarks and laughter. 

It felt like no time had passed. 

Until you noticed that thought, and shame hit you just before Law tackled you, taking your breath as he rode your body to the ground. 

Coming back to yourself too late, he had you pinned, unable to work your arms or legs to get out of his grasp. 

“I know you can do better than that,” he teased, his black hair caught in the sweat on his forehead as he stared down at you. 

“Go fuck yourself,” you breathed, still winded with his weight on your body.

“With a capital ‘G,” he smirked, too much satisfaction on his face. He laughed as you squirmed harder, trying to free a hand to punch him with. 

Now you were satisfied, hearing him grunt as he struggled to keep you in place. You freed one arm, but before you could make contact, Law changed position. He caught your wrist, his breathing ragged as his face hovered even closer to yours. 

The air was different, shivers running through you as your bodies relaxed into each other. The struggle halted as you felt his breath on your lips. 

His eyes were wide as he took you in, his brows creasing just a bit. Your chest warmed at the memory of a childhood crush, and a quick peck of a kiss before he disappeared. That sweet memory fell apart when he pulled himself off of you, a slight frown on his lips before he turned away. 

Oh. 

“That’s, uh,” he started, walking away as he avoided your gaze, “that’s enough for today. Let’s get cleaned up, and I’ll get your schedule for tomorrow. Good work, today.”

You held up a polite smile as sharp blades of ice seemed to carve into your empty chest. Wanting Law to kiss you seemed ridiculous. Selfish. You hadn’t realized that your stupid, absent heart was so delusional. And now you knew exactly why you shouldn’t think about him that way. 

He’s disgusted by me. I’ll always be tainted. Ruined. I’m lucky he hasn’t put me out of my misery yet. Why would Law want to touch trash like me?

The thoughts crashed into you, and the moment wouldn’t stop replaying. The press of him, his amber eyes, the sweat and breath mixing between you. 

And that frown as he pulled away. 

It played on a loop as you walked through the submarine, repeating through another shower, a nearly silent lunch in the galley, and the tour. Law guided you with a hand drawn map, labeled with the various stations, and the crew members you’d be shadowing. A detailed weekly schedule filled the back of the paper, and you let out a quiet laugh at his attention to detail.

“Do you have any questions?”

“No, teacher,” you teased, breathing deep when he finally looked at you again. 

“It’s captain,” he corrected as he pointed to the schedule. “You’ll be with Ikkaku tomorrow morning, then if you’re up for it, I'd like to do another interview.”

“Aye aye, captain.”

Just a twitch of his lips this time, but it was a relief. Until he left you in the galley with the crew, excusing himself to complete some “captain’s duties.”

He doesn’t even want to eat with me now. I probably make him sick.

“Hi, Y/N, you can sit with me! You know, if you want to…” Bepo trailed off, flipping from excited to glum in seconds. 

“Thank you, Bepo,” you agreed, donning your cheerful voice as you sat across from him. 

“Hey, I’m sorry about earlier,” Penguin said as he sat beside you, still too close for comfort after years of Doffy’s rules. “The captain’s the only one that taught us any manners, but I guess I still need some practice.”

“It’s al–”

“Give her some space, you’re being a creep,” Shachi cut in, sitting across from Penguin as he pointed a fork his way. 

“I’m not a creep, you jerk–”

“The captain said to behave ourselves,” Bepo scolded, and you found a real smile on your lips as you saw the concern on his cute, furry face.

“Hey, you’re with me tomorrow, right?”

Ikkaku waved over the bear's shoulder, her dark brown curls making her instantly recognizable. You confirmed with a nod while the three boys at the table kept bickering. 

“Let’s go talk about it.”

Arguments and insults floated through the air, and you were grateful for the rescue as you joined the only other non-man on the ship. She smirked as she nodded her head toward her crew mates.

“Don’t mind the dumbasses, they’re harmless.”

“Thanks,” you laughed, your appetite returning as you watched Ikkaku take a large bite, rolling her eyes at Bepo’s table. 

Comfortable quiet sat with you, and you finally felt a moment of ease in your new world. Even with Law, you felt this energy of holding yourself up, of presenting yourself how you wanted him to see you. But this relaxed woman seemed friendly as she dug into her meal, without the pressure of a smile. She didn’t watch you, or force you into small talk, even when you followed her out of the galley to point out where you’d be working in the morning. 

“I’m ‘Weps,’ so I’ll be showing you how to spot and kill enemies. Hopefully we’ll always be bored,” she huffed, pointing vaguely toward her station before guiding you back to the barracks. 

“That’s you, right,” she asked, tapping on your door. “I’ll yell when it’s time to go.”

“Thank you,” you squeaked, staring for a moment as she turned away. 

That small metal room seemed to amplify your worst thoughts, your loneliness echoing through the air like some torturous bell. You wished you had some sort of drug to knock yourself out. Instead, you curled on your side, trying not to think about how Law had cared enough to sleep on your floor last night, but could barely look at you after your near touch earlier. 

~🦩🦩🦩~

“Don’t get all misty-eyed. That man should have known better than to touch my pretty doll,” Doffy declared, crouching down to press his palm into the sticky red puddle.

The blood of an unlucky man. A friendly man that tried to help you stay balanced while you walked down a flight of stairs in too-high heels. 

“No one else will ever touch you,” Doffy breathed, pressing his bloody palm to your chest. He licked his lips as he dragged his fingers higher, painting your skin. 

Doffy loves me. He’ll be King. Kings have to do this. They have to enforce their–

Your deep breaths and calming thoughts halted as his sticky hand gripped your face, digging into your cheeks to tilt your face up to his.

No more misty eyes.

You felt pride for your lack of tears, and for the smile he gave before he smoothed the hair from your face.

“You’re so pretty when you listen to me,” he praised, his grin deepening when he heard your pleased hum. “You know I’ll have to kill you too, right? You're my doll now. Letting someone touch you with their grubby fingers, and defile my toy sounds like another failure, huh, misty eyes?”

A soft noise escaped your lips as you struggled to be strong for him. 

“Well,” he seethed, the veins in his forehead bulging as he shook your face in his bloody grip, “does my pretty doll have anything to say?”

“I-I’m yours, Doffy,” you promised, keeping your eyes dry as your body went loose, leaning into his hold. 

“My body belongs to you, young mast– Doffy. I’d rather die than let someone defile your property.”

A bruising kiss took your breath, and you whined for him as he laid you on the marble floor. That spill of red beside you had finally stopped flowing. 

“Don’t forget that, Y/N. I’m the only one that gets to defile my pretty doll. My disgusting, little toy. No one would want to touch you anyway. Not if they knew what you let me do to you.”

Doffy laughed as he proved it to you.

And you kept your eyes dry.

~🦩🦩🦩~

Last night, your mind had chosen memories over dreams. The lights and sounds of the sonar were lovely, yet too soothing, and Ikkaku caught you shaking yourself as you held in a yawn. 

“Come on,” she ordered as she pushed you out of the weapons room, leading you through the halls. You pressed your fingers into your brow, trying to alleviate some of the pressure, not realizing where she was taking you until she called through a familiar door.

“Captain, I need to report a crew member who’s unfit for duty.”

“Wait, what,” you cried out, cutting off your own yawn as she rolled her eyes at you. 

Law opened the door, his eyes narrowing on you before he looked at her.

“What’s your report?”

“Y/N was doing well with sonar, but she's clearly sleep deprived. There's no yawning at my weapons station, Captain.”

Ikkaku softened her report by flashing you a tiny smile, but your shoulders slumped in embarrassment. 

“Thank you for the report,” Law cleared his throat, avoiding your eyes as he focused on her. “We’ll try again tomorrow. You’re dismissed, Ikkaku.”

She patted your back as she passed, her gesture of comfort lost as your body tensed at the touch. 

With a shaky breath, you turned to him, staring at his tattooed arms that flexed as they crossed below his chest. 

I didn’t mind when he touched me.

That thought was bittersweet, the bitter turning to bile when you remembered him pulling away. 

“Come in,” he gestured into the office, and you stepped back into your memories. A shrine to Doffy, even if it was built of hate. 

“How much sleep did you get last night,” he spoke like a doctor, scrutinizing every movement as you sat down across his desk. 

“How would I know? There’s no clock in there.”

Somehow, his frown deepened, and you let out a heavy sigh. 

“Did you sleep at all?”

The touch of warmth in his voice filled the cold room, but you didn’t want it. You couldn’t truly have it. So you let the truth ring through your mind as you lied again.

All I am is the broken toy of the man he despises. 

“I’m sorry. I’ll be okay.”

Your eyes slid away, seeing nothing as you pretended to be fine. Yet, you blinked slowly when he stood, his chair scraping along the floor before he came to kneel beside you.

Time seemed fuzzy, but after a while you heard his voice, low and steady. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I shouldn’t have left you alone.”

Too tired and stuck for anything except for the faint quivering of your bottom lip, you stayed silent. 

“Is it…” he cleared his throat, flexing his hands before he went on. “Is it alright if I hug you?”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” he tried to cover his worry in a soothing tone as tears and small choked sounds left your throat. “We don’t need to–”

“Please.”

That tiny, pathetic word left your lips, and you felt sick for asking for anything. Sick for forcing him to take care of you. 

But you didn’t fight as he pulled the chair out, as he knelt to the side of your knees, as he touched long fingers to your cheek. 

“Is it alright if I hug you,” he asked again in a whisper. You were too weak to protect him from you, nodding slowly until you felt more of his touch. 

He pulled you gently forward, your arms limp as he wrapped his around your waist, letting your head rest on his shoulder. 

“You’re okay,” he soothed, sliding a palm between your shoulder blades. “You’re gonna be okay.”

Denials and arguments struggled to leave your lips, anger and fear fighting for control. 

But you were so tired. 

And Law felt so warm, so solid, his smell familiar, yet new. He squeezed you tighter as your breath sped up, holding you still, until you held him too.

He didn’t let go as you dripped hot tears onto his neck. He didn’t let go when you clung to him, digging your fingers into his arms and shoulders. He didn’t let go as your cries flipped from silent to pleading, as you begged for his forgiveness, or choked over the fears and shame you carried. 

Through every round of emotions, you would return to guilt and disgust.

“I’m sorry, Law, I’m sick. You shouldn't be... I’m sorry you have to touch me.”

“Why are you saying that,” he nearly growled, holding your head against him to keep you from leaving his grasp. 

You had no idea how long you’d made him care for you, how many tears you’d let stain his shirt. But however long it had been, you were finally able to speak some of it clearly. 

“You hate him,” you said, your feeble voice breaking between your haggard breaths, “and I’m his… I’m broken. I’m disgust–”

“Shut up.”

A surprised yelp stopped your words, the force of his grip catching your breath. 

Law’s fingers dug into your skin as he pressed you against him, almost to the point of pain, and your mind froze as you waited for him. 

“There’s nothing wrong with you,” he declared, forcing the words through his teeth. “I don’t give a shit about what he did to you. I don’t care what he made you do. It wasn’t your fault, you hear me?”

There was anger in his words, but you knew it wasn’t for you. Still, you were stunned, feeling his heavy breaths beating against your chest. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he breathed, his voice cracking as he buried his face into your neck before pulling away. It was almost painful losing his warmth against you, but he took your hands in his. He seemed to be having more trouble meeting eyes than you were, and you started sinking into the chair while he cleared his throat a few times. 

“When I found out that you’d… That he’d… I should have saved you, Y/N. But I decided not to care about you so I could focus on my mission. I let him–”

“Stop,” you cried out, shaking your head against the guilt in his voice. “I wouldn’t have come with you before. I don’t even know when things started to change. But I would have betrayed you. I wanted to be… I’m glad you didn’t find me sooner, Law. I just wish–”

You cut yourself off, melting into his golden eyes. A stolen moment of peace amidst the guilt and pain. 

“What do you wish,” he asked, rubbing his thumbs over the back of your hands.

“... I don't think broken people get wishes.”

He gave a jaded laugh before standing, leaning against the desk while he rubbed his knees. 

“Will it help you sleep if I stay on your floor tonight?”

You smirked at his soft words, looking from his knees up to his face before responding. 

“I don’t know, old man. I don’t think it’ll be good for your joints.” The look on his face was perfect, and a real laugh left your raw throat, shaking your tired body. 

“We’re the same age,” he countered, eyes wide with that manic grin, “and disrespecting your captain is a punishable offense.”

“I see how it is,” you teased, lightly poking his side. “Still can’t come up with a good comeback, so you threaten me with violence? Looks like you haven’t changed a bit, you– Law!”

He’d grabbed your wrist before going to his knees again, those pretty fingers searching your ribs for the perfect spot. You writhed and laughed, and failed to fight him off as he tickled you, the way he used to when he couldn’t outsmart you. 

“Law, you–”

“Fuck, sorry. I shouldn’t have…”

Law pressed himself against the desk, still on his knees with his hands held up, his eyes wide and worried as he looked at you. 

You cracked up, true, heavy laughter, until his lips curled into that evil little smirk. But you beat him to it, sliding to the ground to get him back, tickling and getting a good squirm out of him before you both attacked. 

He growled as he laughed, grappling you to the side of the chair until he had you pinned to the ground again. Neither of you could tickle the other as you fought for control or freedom. His cheeks were flushed as he laughed in your face, giving you a snarky, “nuh uh,” when you failed to break loose. 

His tongue pressed between his teeth as he gloated, that cocky grin fading as you melted into each other again. 

“I–I’m sorry,” he sighed, shifting his weight to leave. 

“Don’t be sorry,” you demanded, breathless, and aching for him to stay. “I want…”

You closed your eyes, guilt and shame sliding into your lungs again. 

His weight shifted, settling back where he was before. You bit your lip when you saw him staring at your mouth, and heat filled your body as you became hyper aware of every detail of his gorgeous face. 

“You want,” he rasped as he met your eyes, concern still pouring from his own.

Your words were choked by all those shitty feelings and doubts. 

“It’s okay, Y/N.”

His gentle voice eased the tension in your body, and you were grateful that he hadn’t moved. That he still touched you. 

He was still touching you even though you were broken.  

“I want you to kiss me.” 

~🖤🖤🖤~

You’d ordered the stupid boy to kiss you, your arms crossed as you tried to act like you didn’t care. He’d lost the bet, and had to do whatever you asked. 

“Ew, gross! I’m not doing that.”

Law stuck his tongue out, pretending to be sick.

“You lost the bet,” you scolded, punching his shoulder. “Want me to tell everyone you’re an oathbreaker?”

“Why do you wanna kiss me anyway? I’m sick,” he questioned, a hint of hurt in his voice as he gestured to the pale spots on his face. 

“I don’t care if you’re sick. I like you how you are.” The confession slipped out, and heat rushed to your face as you clamped your hands over your mouth.

“You like me,” he taunted, smirking as he poked your burning cheek. “Ha, you’re such a girl.”

“Am not,” you yelled, your hands going misty with embarrassment. 

“So, all I gotta do is kiss you, and we’ll be square?”

You nodded quickly, not sure if you should trust him. 

“Fine,” he complained, leaning in. 

You didn’t know what the big deal was about kissing. His lips were cold and scratchy when he pressed them against yours for a few seconds, then he scowled at you as he pulled away. 

“That was dumb,” he deadpanned, poking your side. 

“You’re dumb!”

He stuck his tongue out at you, and you chased Law down until he swore to never tell a soul. 

~🖤🖤🖤~

“Ew, gross,” Law grinned, your mouth falling open in shock. 

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” he teased, moving his smug face closer to yours. “Kissing you sounds gross.”

“You fucking ass,” you seethed, struggling to get out of his grapple so you could punch him. “I can’t believe–”

He let out a needy sound as he crashed his lips onto yours, and you moaned against him. Your back arched when he released his hold on your arms to cradle your face. 

A sob of relief escaped you, and you felt like you’d lost your mind, your hands clawing at his back to pull him closer. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he breathed, pressing his forehead against yours. “I should–”

“No more ‘sorry's,” you ordered, “I just want you to kiss me.”

Law chuckled, his voice coming back in a wicked rasp. 

“Ew, gross.”

Likes, comments, and reblogs bring me much ✨dopamine✨ thank you so much!

a/n: Sorry about the gruesome, but I hope you enjoyed the wholesome Law with his childhood sweetheart. I adore this man 🥰

Note for the timeline: The childhood flashback occurred shortly before Cora took Law away, so both the reader and Law had known each other over 2 years, and were both between 12-13 yrs old. At the present time in the story, both the reader and Law are around 25 years old.

Tag List: @shewrites02 | @jadeddangel | @nothing-but-brass

Part 4

Operation Olive Branch has compiled a working spreadsheet of ways to help families fleeing from the genocide in Palestine. If you enjoyed this fic, and are able, please click the link to find a list of GoFundMe's, as well as other ways to help.

| masterlist | about me | rules | ao3 |

[thestargayzingheroine]

Why A Better World is my favourite "Evil Superman" Story

So in the last two decades or so, there's been a notable amount of dark and edgy stories around superheroes turning evil and whatnot and most of them really love to do their own expies of Superman. I've never been the biggest fans of these kinds of stories.

And then there's the actual stories of Superman and other heroes being outright villains or at least just massive assholes. In recent years, this has been largely thanks to the influence of media like the Injustice Games or the Synderverse DC movies. It's... honestly become a trope I am tired of.

Because you know the damnest thing? There is a story that does all these ideas really damn well and arguably better. It is the two-parter from the Justice League cartoon "A Better World".

Now, I am aware how most people favouring the DCAU has become a bit of toxic nostalgia at times and it's something I myself am trying to work through a bit. But in this case, I do think it's the best idea of doing an evil DC story, much better and more interesting than the Crime Syndicate, who if you ask me are not very interesting, though I do remember liking the Crisis On Two Earths movie a lot, which funny enough, was originally going to be this two parter before various things led to it being canned and then later repurposed as a direct to DVD movie.

Anyway, my main crux of why I love this story is simple... The entire Justice League turns evil... and the reasons are very much in-character for all of them. You look at the scene with Justice Lord Batman for example.

As fucking evil as the Justice Lords are... Batman can't quite fully hate his alternate self for his reason for taking part in all this being basically one-step further than his own mission, that no child should ever go through what he did. Hell, I recall reading that the reason the writers had Batman drop his batarang at the end of this scene... was because he genuinely wouldn't be able to come up with an argument to that.

Superman likewise kills Lex Luthor because yeah, Luthor literally exploited the flaws in Democracy and became president of the US, threatening to kinda basically start world war 3. It's obviously horrible... but Superman is a character whose main motivation is making the world a better place. And if people who abuse the systems of power of the world are hurting people, why shouldn't Superman put a stop to that?

And yeah, Superman should obviously never kill, he's the most paragon of paragons of the DC universe, a man committed to always being better than the villains he fights... but this is him pushed to his most logical extreme. Hell, the main Superman knows this and its why Lex used his knowledge of this alternate universe as part of his plan in the season after this, to goad our Superman into crossing the line because yeah, there's a part of him that could go this far.

But right as Superman is about to apparently finish him, the big guy says this.

"I'm not the man who killed President Luthor. I wish to heaven that I were but I'm not."

Because Superman like everyone else, obviously would have those same thoughts and same urges. He's human.

I've kinda gone off Injustice a bit because to be honest... the injustice games were kinda just this but a bit too edgelordy. Hell, in A Better World, Lois Lane still lives and the whole genesis of it doesn't revolve around her getting fridged.

So yeah, A Better World is probably one of my favourite mirror universe stories because of the fact that well... it really is like looking in a mirror and seeing just how easy the greatest heroes can become evil and how they wouldn't be massively out of character doing so. But also it reminds us that as much as this darkness can tempt some of our finest, the ones who don't go down this dark path are stronger in heart than anyone else. Because when the world becomes a dark and horrible place, it becomes very easy to be just as dark. But even though it can be hard to still try and be a good person even in dark times, it's ultimately worth it. Because good always triumphs over evil.

[diejager]

who's the cruelest yandere out of the cod men in your opinion 😵‍💫 i wanna say price, but i'm interested in your own view!! ☄️🫣

Hmmmm I, honestly, never put much thought to who’s the cruelest of the bunch, but I am inclined to agree with you.

We all know Price, he’s an authoritative figure, he’s a Captain after all. With the rank and power of a captain, plus how successful his missions are, I’d say he’s also very respected. And we all know how respectable people hide dark secrets, no?? Price can be nice, but he can be as mean and cruel as he’s nice. He can be really cruel if he wants to, he doesn’t have a clean slate either, not with that stunt he pulled in MW1.

In my opinion, if given the opportunity (either as a yandere or simple a dark character) he’d be down right cruel, he’s a captain, he gets what he wants and what he wishes. With rank comes power, and with that, not much can stop him. He can still be sweet and soft, as any man, but he doesn’t shy from degrading and spanking. He might actually enjoy spanking, with a bit - a lot - of rope and handcuffs, it lets him have a lot more of control over you.

I’d put König somewhere behind Price tbh, he’s higher in ranking and power than Price, but he doesn’t do much about it, since PMC’s work differently than the military. I will say, however, that he can be rough and mean, cruel in a possessive way to show you who you belong to and who owns you. Bullying and possessiveness has a link in psychology (or so I’m told), and that just adds to the fire that makes König mean and imposing.

He’d definitely use his height and weight against you, pinning and degrading you in the cruelest way he can, a bully of some sort, but one just for you. König’s a dark man, as well, keeps his secret as close to his heart as he keeps his face hidden under his veil. He’s real physical, being bullied means that no one really wanted to be associated with him for fear of receiving the same treatment, so he grew up as a lonely kid. Which fuelled his possessiveness and jealousy. He’s extremely touch starved, it makes him like the thought of owning and belonging to someone physically and mentally.

Soap is third on the list, since he’s a bit more reckless and rowdy. He likes having his way, with how headstrong and boisterous he is, it’s at least expected that he likes getting what he wants. He’s not exactly cruel in a hitting or verbal way. He’s more of a “push over the limit” kind of cruel. He forgets your limit with how enthusiastic he is and it goes from nice to mean.

He’s not necessarily doing it on purpose, he’s just too enthusiastic! He’s a giver, but might give too much. And too much of good becomes bad. He’s a tad bit rough, beard burns and bruises, but he truly means no harm. He loves physically, kisses and hugs, hard hugs but only to show how much he loves you. Even as a darker character, he might be slightly more violent and degrading, but remember, he’s still headstrong and honest in the remake.

I put Ghost farther down cuz, well, he’s lived in a toxic household with an abusive father. He knows what it is to be hit, to be thrown around and to be berated for something he was innocent of. So while he is cruel to others, blunt and brutal with his words, he won’t raise a hand or his voice against you. It’s true that some of those that were abused grow up to become a cruel, callous and cold person, but that’s why he joined the military. It helps him control his sudden bursts of anger rather than taking it out on someone he cares about.

Even as a yandere or a morally grey character, if he learns to love someone, he’s not going to act out abusively. He knows what a toxic environment does to a person. He’s a soft carer, showing that he cares by memorizing your habits, your preferences, your little kinks and anything that makes you quirky. He might be a bit rough and mean, but he’d specify that he means none of it. After care is really, really important.

Lastly, Gaz, meh bby. Couldn’t do wrong in my mind. He’s precious and adorable. He’s dependable and likes to be praised and appreciated. I find it hard to imagine Gaz as someone cruel and demeaning. He likes being acknowledge for the things he’s done well, being given kisses and loving words. He’s a soft lover, he cares and gives a lot, but he loves being told how good he is.

We see how compassionate he is when he was first introduced in MW1, he doubts and hesitates, but always wants to help do good. He might have a slightly grey moral compas, but it’s extremely light when compared to Price and Ghost. He wants to help and means good, might be the reason he joined the military. Being strong and reliable to the person he cares about, to love you with all he can give. He’s not mean or degrading, unless you ask him to play the part, he won’t.

[yoonieper]

Helping Hand | JJK

Sometimes all you need is a helping hand.

♡ Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (also a teeny bit of Jimin x Reader)

♡ Genre: Roommate AU, Best Friend AU, Best Friends to lovers, Smut, Fluff, Angst???? 

♡ Rated: D for Down Bad 

♡ Warnings: Lotte concert 2019 Jungkook, PTD concert black swan Jimin (yes these are warnings), Y/N needs some dick, jk is also pretty down bad, mentions of past substance abuse, mentions of depression, mentions of character death, very brief and vague mentions of su*cidal thoughts, this fic is heavy and horny please beware, jk a lil bit of a dummy, masturbation, semi public sex(ish), grinding, car sex, cumming in pants, fingering, oral (m + f receiving), overstimulation, protected sex (follow they lead kiddies), gets cute towards the end I promise~ 

♡ Word Count: 23.4k

♡ Summary: A double blind date was your suggestion. Everything about it should make him happy, but this sinking feeling just won’t go away. All he wanted was to get it over with. 

♡ Now Playing…: X by Tinashe, Backseat by Khalid, and Good Days by Sza 

♡ Author’s Note: A story from the vault of the 2020 works I started but never published! This was meant to be posted on Valentine's Day, but life got in the way so I’m just posting it now instead of keeping it for another year. Let’s just pretend 🤡 Happy Valentine’s Day to all the couples out there, and for all my singles, we’ll get ‘em next year 😩✊🏽 Also a big thank you to @kth1 for the graphics and @jessikahathaway for reading over this for me! 

No reposting, modifying. Translating is not allowed unless given explicit permission. Thank you so much :D

Fuck everything.

It was dismal that these were the first words that came to mind as you stepped out of your last class for today. 

To put it frankly, this day has not treated you kindly. 

These feelings of deep anguish were all caused by the simple fact that it was Valentine's Day. Couples everywhere were trapped in a lovestruck trance by the holiday, wanting to do anything and everything to celebrate. You had nothing against it but you were not in the right mental state to handle all of the affection. It made going anywhere unbearable, promotions for the perfect date spots all over campus, posts all over social media about your friends going out with their partners, every corner you turned you couldn’t escape it. 

After your classes, you were tired of it all. It just made the journey back to your little apartment even more exhausting. Lovey-dovey couples holding hands, kissing, being together everywhere you looked had made you so riled up to the point where you were even considering calling your ex, Incheol, to help fill that void. 

Why were you so hot and bothered? Sure all the PDA can get to any single person, especially on Valentine’s Day, but what got you to the point of even considering going so low as to call your ex again just to get some dick? 

It’s just been a long year.

It’s not that you wanted to go this long without sex, but it just ended up that way. After your break up with Incheol you really just weren’t in the mood to look for anyone else. 

When you first started college, you couldn’t really be tied down. You partied and whoever held your attention long enough was yours for the night. Unintentionally, you started a bit of a crusade with different guys around campus because of this. You didn’t want to, but you were just too busy for anything more than a one night stand. It was that way until you met Incheol. He was your first serious boyfriend and it was a nice, satisfactory relationship. You made some really great memories together, even the break up was clean. 

It sounds amazing on paper, but it made it hard to jump back in and start seeing other people. By the time you were even considering going out on dates again, preparing for law school began to take up all your time. 

In turn that left you with no dick for a year.

You swear if you see one more couple stuffing their tongues down each other’s throats, you might actually go insane. Lucky for you, your apartment wasn’t too far from campus, an 8 minute bus ride was all it typically took to get back home. It wasn’t too long before you were busting down the door ready to break something.

“Jungkook!!” You called, a strong sense of agitation in your voice as you kicked off your shoes, knowing you needed your best friend for support. 

You two had been friends since high school. It was when you both got accepted to colleges in the same city, after talking it out a little, you decided it would just be easier to share an apartment when you moved to Seoul. Now it’s been a little over 4 years since you’ve moved in together and became the best friend and roommate dynamic duo. 

You were first greeted with the sight of his shirtless back, the tattoos all along his right arm on full display, his fluffy hair was sticking up in all different directions, telling you he was likely just getting up. 

Jungkook was hunched over the counter eating his cereal, nothing strange, but you were in no condition to see him like that. 

“Jungkook?” You questioned seeing the peculiar state he was in. You hadn’t even seen his face yet and you could already tell he was exhausted. 

“Oh Y/n you’re back…” He sounded so drained. 

“Yeah classes are over for me, you didn’t go today?” You wondered, though the answer was pretty obvious. 

He shook his head and laughed tiredly. “Not after the night I had.” Hearing that all you could do was roll your eyes. You knew exactly what happened last night. 

“And whose fault was that Jungkook, you were the one who had to play and I quote ‘just one more round of cyber hunter,’ which judging by how you look now, wasn’t just one more round.” You recounted. 

See the two of you, though you were best friends, have some things about you that are just polar opposites. Jungkook was creative, you used logic. He liked the cold while you liked it warm. He was neat, you were oftentimes a mess despite your love for cleaning. He liked to procrastinate everything to the last minute, and you always made sure you were never behind schedule. Polar opposites in some cases, but over the years you’ve learned that it can be beneficial at times.

“Do you have to lecture me? I'm still like half asleep, it’s too early for this shit.” He sighed, eating another spoonful of cereal. You were not really in the mood to fight him, you needed someone to rant to anyways. 

You kept your mouth shut as you took a seat at one of your bar stools. “So did you finish?” You finally questioned. 

He nodded slowly. 

“2 minutes before the deadline, I've never felt so stressed in my life.” He chuckled lightly. You almost fell off your barstool. 

When you had asked Jungkook about his project when he was playing cyber hunter instead of working, he would always brush you off and say “It’s not due till before class starts, I have plenty of time~” The fact that he finished 2 minutes before means that he was working until 7:58 this morning. 

“Jungkook what did I tell you–“

“I know, you’re right, but I had things under control until I fell asleep color grading… it set me back like an hour and–” he rubbed his eyes “–and then you–” Jungkook’s eyes widened realizing what he was about to say and stopped himself real quick. 

He must be out of his mind or more exhausted than he thought, thinking about telling you about last night. “I– I uh got distracted…” he simply put, not wanting you to know how complicated his feelings were right now. 

Seeing you in front of him now already had his mind remembering the events of last night.

Jungkook put his spoon back in his bowl with a loud clunk. He only got a mere 4 hours of sleep after pulling an all-nighter, he was beyond tired. You could tell.

“And this Jungkook is why you should stick to the schedule I make.” You pointed to the board on the wall beside you. 

In efforts of organizing your assignments and remembering the countless deadlines you had, you started writing everything down on this whiteboard. You found it extremely helpful and when Jungkook, after seeing you use it when he was hanging out in your room, pondered the idea of doing it for his own work. Well, you took the initiative of buying a bigger whiteboard and sticking it up in the kitchen so you both could use it. 

Jungkook fell into the habit of writing everything down a lot quicker than you thought he would. He said it was helping him out but complained about still coming too close to deadlines that you decided to help him out by giving him advised deadlines in order to combat procrastination. It worked a lot better at first but despite your efforts you still found him in his room rushing to get things done last minute more often than not. 

“I know you’re right, I’m sorry,” he sighed.

Your brows furrowed. “You don’t need to apologize,” you tried to laugh. You were expecting a snarky remark, not an apology. 

“I’m still so out of it I’m sorry, I can’t think straight at all. Anyway, did you need something? You sounded pretty angry when you walked in,” he chuckled weakly. 

You were still a bit worried. “We can talk later if you’re not up for it…” 

Jungkook shook his head. “What’s up?” You eyed him suspiciously but you decided to continue. 

You took a deep breath. 

“I’msofuckinghornyI’msorryIknowthat’stoomuchinformationbutit’sbeensohardgettingthroughthedayandIthinkI’mthisclosetolosingmymind.” You sobbed. 

Jungkook nearly choked on his cereal. 

“You’re— You’re what?!” He coughed, somehow understanding your convoluted sentence. 

“It’s been hell, Jungkook. It’s Valentine’s Day and all the couples on campus have been all over each other and—” you laid your head on the counter. “I’m so lonely.” You whined.

Oh, did he know.  

Jungkook’s been trying his best to tell himself that last night was just a delusion, so tired and out of it that he imagined everything that happened in the wee hours of the morning.

His eyes had been heavy, the lights in his room all off besides his computer screen sitting righting in front of him, sharply illuminating his features. He was barely awake at that point, his eyes glassy, and probably had a concerning red tint to them, but he was determined to work hard to make sure every scene was colored the way he wanted it to be. 

It had been faint at first. His noise canceling headphones drowned out most of the sound, but he swore he could hear the faint buzzing sound coming from the wall in front of his desk. It wasn’t until the moans started that he finally took them off and understood what was happening. 

His face had flushed realizing what he was hearing. You were… 

Oh. 

He told himself it was just out of pure human curiosity that his ears tuned into the sounds next door. Even without the headphones it was faint, but it was just enough that he could hear the little groans, moans, even the way you whined, fuck. It was enough that something scary started to stir inside of him so he quickly put back on his headphones to drown it out. 

Jungkook tried to get back to work, pretending that everything was normal, but even with his headphones on he could hear you. His fingers typed away on his keyboard, his leg bounced restlessly, because the more time passed the tighter his pants seemed to get.

He tried not to think about it but with your moans growing louder, the longer he couldn’t pretend. 

You sounded so pretty. 

It was awful, you were his fucking best friend. He could have easily turned on some music, or actually listened to the contents of the project he was working on, but he never did. The more he listened the harder it was to ignore the quickly developing problem in his pants. He was so fucking hard and you sounded so sexy. 

At some point, lust took control, completely forgoing the morality of the situation, he found himself throwing off his headphones, forgetting about his project, and slipping his hands in his pants. Any sense of self control out the window. 

At first he tried to reason with himself and say he was just trying to ease the ache but as soon as his hand wrapped around the shaft, he was a goner. 

With a hand over his mouth, Jungkook pumped himself hard and fast, your pretty moans on the other side of the wall made it way too hard to try and control himself.

So many thoughts were bouncing around his head. He imagined how you might look on the other side, a toy between your legs, as you tried your best to get yourself to cum. He imagined going over to your room, helping you, fuck would you want that? He knew he could make you feel so good if you just let him. Thoughts of getting the chance, oh he knew you would feel so good around him.

It was disgusting, you were his friend, but the tabooness of the situation turned him on even more. He should have been ashamed. 

He was, but in the moment he didn’t feel it at all. As the sounds of your moans grew relentless, he couldn’t take it anymore. It wasn’t long before his orgasm was hitting him like a freight train, he spilled all over his hand, shirt, and pants. He had never come that hard before and all it took was the sounds of his best friend behind a wall. 

As his breathing slowed, the regret was quick to creep in. 

What the fuck did he do? 

What was the worst though was that little voice that told him it was real, and how much he truthfully enjoyed hearing you. 

He must be down bad too because he crossed some serious boundaries last night… 

Jungkook felt his face heat up at the thought. 

“—and so now I’m like, what should I do?” Jungkook suddenly fazed back into your rambling. 

“Huh?” 

“I was saying what should I do? Here I am single on Valentine’s Day, hornier than I should be admitting… Like Jungkook, it's seriously been a year!” You cried and you didn’t miss when he mumbled “You’re not alone” as he was sipping up the last of the milk in the bowl.

You looked at him wide eyed. “You too? I thought for sure that...”

Jungkook shook his head. “I’ve been trying so hard to get back on track that I… I didn’t want to get distracted.” You slowly nodded, understanding. 

Jungkook had been through a lot this past year to put it lightly.

It started back in your first year. While you were going around enjoying the party scene, hooking up with pretty much anyone you could, Jungkook had managed to get himself a girlfriend soon into the year. 

You remember they were pretty much together all the time. He was hardly at your shared apartment and anytime he was, she was right there with him. Yoona was her name. You were honestly convinced that they would get married someday, the couple seeming to be the perfect pair. They lasted for nearly two years. It was up until one day you came home later than you normally would, to hear the two of them arguing inside. 

You were nosy and a little tipsy, so you began eavesdropping behind the door. You were shocked at the words thrown at each other, and you’re almost sure you heard your name come up in the mix (though you chalk that up to the alcohol). Whatever happened Yoona stormed out leaving you to deal with an upset Jungkook who was on the brink of tears. 

You still blame yourself for convincing him to go over to her place a few weeks later to talk to her. You remembered being surprised by Jungkook being back so soon, but what you remember even more was the slam of his room door only seconds after. It took a good week to get Jungkook out of his room and tell you that he found her with another guy, who was a close classmate and mutual friend apparently. 

Things just kept getting worse. 

It really was the day right after he told you that he got a call from his parents letting him know his uncle, someone who he had been so close to all his life, who had inspired him to pursue a career in the film industry, had been in an accident. You can’t say much from there because that’s pretty much all he told you before he was on the next train back to Busan. He called you a week later after you began blowing up his phone (you were worried) that his uncle had passed and that he needed his space. 

He was gone for about a little over two months. 

It was also around this same time that you started to get involved with Incheol. He was there when the apartment felt so empty and honestly he was the one who really helped ground you and get your priorities straight. It was a match made in heaven.

You were cuddling up with Incheol one day when you heard the knock at the door. You still can’t forget the shock that you felt on the day that Jungkook came back. 

He was back, yes, but the moment he seemingly brushed right past you, paying really no notice to you or Incheol who was looking confused on the couch, was when you realized he still was elsewhere and hurting. 

You tried to be there for him, you really did, but any attempts you had of getting close and talking about any issues failed every time. 

He was distant. 

You blame yourself though for not trying harder and letting Incheol sweep you off your feet the way he did, but it’s like you started seeing less and less of each as the days passed. 

You had no idea about what he was getting up to, where he was most of the time. It really didn’t feel like he came back from Busan. 

Any remnants of your friendship seemed few and far between until nearly halfway through your 2nd semester in your 3rd year. You had been getting ready for a date with Incheol later that day when you heard him come back, he was clearly disheveled and honestly looked so stressed. You decided to try once again asking him to talk to you and it was then that all the hardships of the last few months came rushing out. 

He told you everything. 

He told you how hard it was dealing with Yoona and his uncle’s passing at the same time. He told you the only reason he came back was because he missed you so much and that he had missing assignments starting to pile up. Apparently though, even after coming back to Seoul he just couldn’t seem to pull himself back together. 

Jungkook started doing shit he wasn’t proud of. He was partying, carelessly sleeping around, hanging out with people he knew he shouldn’t have, and he said he did things that he wasn’t even comfortable telling you (and he’s normally fine telling you everything). He let you know that he was also so behind in assignments that he had a meeting that day about them suggesting he drop the semester and that he risked getting kicked out of programs he worked his ass off to get into. He even said they were considering to expel him because of his sudden disappearance even after he explained the situation. 

It was that day when things began to take a turn. You assisted Jungkook in talking with his administrators to create a plan and helped him catch up on his assignments to finally get back on track. 

You were there with him through the dark days, trying your best to be by his side. You knew he wasn’t telling you everything that happened while you two were distant, at times he would completely isolate himself and shut you out. 

It was obvious there was more going on. Jungkook would sometimes lock himself in his room and you could just hear the torment that was happening behind that door. Sometimes all you could do was knock occasionally to make sure he was ok. You made him food and would stay by his door to try to let him know you were here for him. Other times he would tell you openly about the depression he was battling and would just want an ear to vent to. He was always vague, but you made sure you were a shoulder he could lean on. You even helped pay for him to get professional help, sensing he needed it, and the fact he wasn’t working at the time.

It was a rocky road, but after some time Jungkook started to convalesce. You started to see the life in Jungkook’s eyes that you didn’t realize you missed so much until one day when you randomly started crying when you both decided to take a break and watch a movie together. 

He was just critiquing the movie as he usually would, but it just made you realize that he was back. 

This whole thing did have some consequences for you though. As you were busy helping Jungkook, you started having less and less time to balance Jungkook, work, school, and a boyfriend. After a while it was decided that you and Incheol were drifting apart and it was best to just end things. 

As much as you knew it was the right decision, it still hurt because you really did care for him. You found yourself in Jungkook’s arms more than once as you cried your eyes out, binge watching your favorite series over and over again. 

Since then though, it really has just been you and Jungkook. You both would sometimes hang out with your other friends, but after everything that happened you just seemed to not be apart too often. 

“Well I guess that means we’re both desperate, am I right?” You chuckled lightly. 

“Too right,” he sighed. 

Silence seemed to come in between you two, but your mind was busy trying to come up with some sort of solution. 

“Wait… I have an idea.” You enthusiastically got up from your bar stool, a habit of needing to stand whenever you were working things out in your brain. Jungkook smiled when he noticed.

“What if we set each other up?” You looked at him but you could tell he was still very much so confused. 

“Listen listen listen. So what if we set each other up with some of our friends, like maybe you have a friend who would be interested in me, and I know I definitely have a friend who likes you. We pick a day to meet up and…” You voice got all sultry, trying to hint at the result of your glorious plan. 

Jungkook didn’t miss the way his heart tightened at your proposition. 

“Like a double date would be perfect. We could have fun and go out together which I think we desperately need. I could meet with one of your friends and you mine. We could hang out together, separate later in the night and, if things go well, we both get laid. Jungkook, I think I really might be a genius.” You bounced around, your eyes trained on him to see what he thought. 

Jungkook was just waiting for that sense of enthusiasm to hit. It was a great idea, but the more he thought about it, the more that tightness in his chest seemed to get worse. Why wasn’t he excited? He should be as happy as you were. 

Maybe it’s just because it’s been awhile? 

Jungkook forced a smile. “I’m down.” 

You smiled. 

“Ok so let's surprise each other. I already have the perfect girl in mind. She’s your type personality wise, she’s really pretty, and I know for a fact she likes you so you can have full confidence in me that you’ll have a great time, ok!” You reassured him. 

“That sounds nice.” Jungkook didn’t mean it, and he didn’t do a good job of hiding it.

“Do you have anyone in mind for me?” You questioned, honestly a little curious.

There’s that weird feeling again…

“Ummmm I think so, I’ll have to check with him though…” Jungkook shyly rubbed the back of his neck. 

He did for a fact have someone in mind. He had no doubt that he’d make time to come and he knows that you’re his type. 

Jungkook shouldn’t be feeling like this at all. He’s helping out his friend and you’re helping him out. And it’s not like he isn’t horny, because if last night proves anything, he definitely needs to get laid. 

He couldn’t seem to pinpoint why he would rather spend an evening with you watching another season of the Great British Baking Show than out at a club for an easy hookup. 

He was never the type to hate parties. Sure he was definitely an introvert and you’re the opposite, but he’s always had a great time going to them secretly whenever you would drag him along. Especially with the circumstances, he should actually be excited for this… 

Definitely something was wrong with him. 

Maybe it’s the lack of sleep? 

“Ok! Let me know as soon as you can so I can start planning~” He couldn’t stop smiling this time at how enthusiastic you get about planning. The look on your face had him feeling all warm inside. 

“Anyway, I have work to do so let me go ahead and get a head start!” You smiled, grabbing your bags. 

“Go get some sleep, I’ll fix dinner later so you don’t have to worry.” Jungkook felt his heart warm, a fluttery feeling spread throughout his body. 

He was undoubtedly the better cook between the two of you. He usually took it upon himself to fix dinner and sometimes even lunch if you were around. It’s not like you were horrible, it’s just the difference was that Jungkook liked to cook, and you did it because you had to. He would know certain spices, recipes, and would always add that ‘love’ to your dishes that had your eyes watering with how good they were. It was because of this that Jungkook took up cooking for the both of you pretty much every night. You would never hesitate though in taking up that duty whenever you were needed. 

“Thank you~” He meant it. He really couldn’t ask for a better roommate. 

And with that you were off to your room. 

Jungkook quickly put his bowl in the sink before scurrying off to his room. 

Only a little bit of light was shining in from the crack he put in his blackout curtains. The dim mood had him both sleepy and confused as hell. 

His mind was busy playing the events of last light over and over again. Your moans were still echoing in his head clear as day. 

This and the discussion he had with you had him realize just how horny he really was. 

It really has been a little over a year since he’s even been touched in that way. 

Maybe that’s why he was thinking about you so much, why last night he wanted to watch you, would have liked even better to help you. He needed someone badly because his best friend should not ever get mixed up in his sexual fantasies no matter how desperate he is. 

This thought had Jungkook quickly shooting a text to Jimin about them hanging out tomorrow. He’s got to make this happen if he’s ever going to get you out of his head. 

That’ll solve everything. He’s sure of it.  

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

“That’s your roommate?!” The loud exclamation seemed to reverberate throughout the spacious apartment.

Jungkook tried to shush him. 

“And best friend, yes, yes she is.” 

They had paused the game they were playing together when Jungkook finally brought up the question he came to ask. His hyung was quick to ask for a picture and Jungkook pulled up your latest post on your Insta.  

Jimin looked at the phone and back at Jungkook, absolutely baffled. “Are you sure?” 

Jungkook rolled his eyes.

He sighed, a little confused why that was so hard to believe, and switched to a picture of you two together. It was the day you went out to celebrate finals being over last year. 

Jimin brought the phone way too close to his face tryna see if he saw any signs of editing. “Either this is the greatest prank ever or Jungkook your best friend is…” Jimin did that thing where he rubs his thumb over his nose and a giddy smirk couldn’t seem to leave his face. 

“Double, triple yes to that double date thing.” He quickly agreed.

Jungkook noticed the way his heart seemed to do a tug of war. That weird feeling he’s been having ever since you suggested this plan was back, but he was happy this means that he is closer to the end of this madness. 

While Jungkook was out of it, Jimin already had managed to get your Insta and switched to his phone so he could shamelessly stalk. 

“You guys hang out a lot?” He questioned. 

“Huh?” Jungkook snapped out of it. 

“You’re in most of the pictures she posts.” 

Jungkook smiled at that thought for some reason. “I mean yeah, we live together and we’re best friends.” 

Jimin nodded. 

He managed to scroll all the way down to a photo session you had when you and a friend went back to Busan for a beach trip. Jungkook felt his face warm at the sight of you in your simple black bikini, but his attention went more to Jimin who was enjoying the sight a little too much. 

Jungkook snatched his phone. 

“I’m right here.” Jungkook scoffed. 

“I was just trying to find pictures where you weren’t in them.” 

“But do you have to look at her like that?!” Jungkook didn’t even realize the words that came out of his mouth until Jimin’s face started to morph into something unreadable. 

“Jungkook… Nothing ever happened between you two?” He finally questioned, sensing something suspicious was going on. 

Jungkook shook his head, almost appalled that he even thought that. 

That seemed to connect the dots in Jimin’s mind. “You sure you don’t like her or something?” 

Jungkook felt his face heat up. “N-No-No, why would you even say that?” The accusation made him more flustered than it should. 

“Jungkook I’m not an idiot, you guys spend so much time together so I’m sure you guys get along well, she’s very very pretty, I don’t see a reason why you wouldn’t like her…” To Jimin it honestly seemed more strange if he didn’t like you. 

Jungkook turned toward the window, the city shining bright down below as the sun continued to go down. “We’re just friends.” His voice was static, but the words still affected him for some reason. 

Jimin looked at him questionably “Right... so you’ve never liked her?”

Jungkook turned back to his hyung “No-Well, I mean…” 

He leaned in intrigued. “That’s a yes, now tell me.” 

Jungkook sighed. “I mean… Back in highschool—“  

“HIGHSCHOOL?” Jimin nearly screamed.

Jungkook tried to shush him again. “I told you about how I moved right before my second year?” 

Jimin nodded. 

“Well it was when we were just getting to know each other. I’m pretty quiet so it was a little hard for me to make friends, but she was there and we got close and—“

“You caught feelings?” Jimin finished.

Jungkook nodded hesitantly 

“And how long was this for?” 

“When we moved in together. We had our separate lives so we weren’t as close as we used to be, plus I started dating Yoona around that time so–“

“Wait wait wait wait… so you liked her for 2 years?” 

“More like a year and a few mont–“ 

“Jungkook I don’t care about specifics, that wasn’t just like a little crush that went away, you liked her for a long time.” 

“It was highschool.”

“Highschool my ass, feelings are feelings. Now are you sure you don’t like her, or better yet, those feelings ever even went away in the first place?” 

“Yes I’m sure.” Jungkook noticed the way his voice wavered. He didn’t expect that to come out like that…. it made him seem so unsure of himself. 

“Ok then give me back my phone, I’m Insta stalking your cute friend or should I say my cute date~” 

Jungkook hesitantly handed his hyung’s phone back. 

A weird feeling buried deep somewhere spread throughout his body as he watched his friend oogle you. 

He must be going insane…

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

“Wait wait wait, you’re kidding?!” Eun Ae nearly screamed in the middle of the cafe. 

You gave her an ugly stare telling her to be quiet. 

“Sorry, but I never thought I had a chance with your “roommate.”” She sat back in her chair, amazed. 

“What do you mean? You’re totally his type.” You said remembering the girls you’d see Jk hang around when you used to party together. “And what’s with the quotations? You know he’s my best friend.” 

Eun Ae burst out laughing “I thought you guys were together or something if I’m being honest.” 

Your heart did a flip. “Why’d you think that?” 

Eun Ae put down her latte. “I see you guys leave together sometimes and I thought you were dating!” She rolled her eyes at your confused look “I see the way you look at him, I seriously thought you were in love.” 

“I mean of course I like him, he’s my best friend, but nothing more ok.” You chuckled nervously.

“Hmmmmm, if you say so.” She looked like she didn’t believe you but decided not to push the subject anymore. 

“Anyway we should go out and get some things for this weekend.” You smiled liking the idea of that, it really has been a while since you’ve been out. 

“Yeah, I’m free tomorrow if that’s good with you.” You mentioned.

“Yeah that works for me.” She responded by taking a sip of her latte. “By the way, where did you get your necklace? It’s pretty.” 

You looked down at the small heart shaped diamond and smiled. “Jungkook gave me it yesterday so I have no idea, I can ask for you though.” You saw your friend’s eyes widen. 

“He gave that to you? On Valentine's Day?” She looked at you a little funny and it had your cheeks warming up. 

“Yeah…” 

You thought back to it. Jungkook had finally come out of his room later that evening after you told him dinner was ready. You were shocked to find him coming out with a velvet box in hand. 

“It’s nothing too special, just wanted to give you something after all you’ve done for me.” He opened the box to reveal the little Diamond. You had to admit, your heart fluttered at the gesture. 

Eun Ae just laughed. “And you’re sure there’s nothing going on between you two?” 

“Yes.” Looking at it now, it did look pretty romantic. But no, this was Jungkook who gave this to you, he would never see you that way.

“And you’re sure Jungkook doesn’t like you?” Eun Ae asked, putting her hands on the table. 

“Jungkook?” You just laughed. “No, I don’t think he’d ever be into me.” 

“You don’t think? Maybe you’re just an idiot and can’t realize that her best friend is seriously crushing on her?!” Eun Ae practically yelled. 

“Yah!” You tried shushing her, realizing people were starting to look over in your direction. 

“I don’t know Y/n this is pretty suspicious if you ask me. But whatever, I’m still down for the double date. This still just seems like a bad idea but…” She raised her cup.

“To hoping we get lucky~” She smiled and you held your cup as well and clinked it together.

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

The weekend came quicker than expected. It was weird, but Jungkook tried to get as excited as you were. He would see you happily bouncing around the apartment, counting down the days, but he wasn’t feeling the same way whatsoever. As the big day finally approached, the more that weird feeling seemed to get worse. He just wasn’t into it as much as you were, part of him wanted to tell you to cancel but he couldn’t ask that seeing how happy you were. 

Instead he just tried to keep his eyes on the prize. Make it through the date, maybe get laid, it’s Sunday. He had no doubt in your pick, he knew this date wouldn’t be an absolute dumpster fire and hard to get through. You wouldn’t do that to him. 

Why did he feel so weird? Maybe it’s just nerves about getting back out there? That became his next excuse he latched on to. It really had been a while. He wasn’t the most social guy so things like this can be a bit nerve racking. 

That had been his mantra. You’re just nervous, you’ll have fun once you get there. Over and over again, he would try to tell himself, but that didn’t make it go away. 

The day still came and he couldn’t escape the sinking feeling he felt as he drove over to Jimin’s apartment. You had decided it would be better if you would arrive separately, making the meeting an even bigger surprise once you all would make it to the club. 

When his hyung made it downstairs, as he was getting in, Jungkook felt the strangest mix of emotions. He was nervous, extremely nervous, and that sinking feeling was there. Why couldn’t he be excited? At the very least this was still the first time he was getting out in a year. The only thing he could think about was you. 

“Ooooo Jeon Jungkook. You clean up nice~” Jimin awed after he got settled into the car. This was also going to be the first time he was going out with Jimin. Jungkook would come over sometimes to mostly hang out at his place, but they never have gone anywhere together. 

Jungkook looked down at his outfit. He was wearing a suit accented with thin sparkly stripes and a simple black button up tucked into his pants. He permed his long hair a few days ago and now it was filled with these loose curls. It was a look for sure. 

Jungkook just laughed. “Y/n did most of this actually…” He cheesed remembering you pretty much took control the minute he questioned what he was going to wear. 

His attention turned back to his hyung who was looking at him strangely. 

“What?” Jungkook questioned. 

“You got that look on your face…” Jimin pointed out. 

“What look?”

“When you said her name, your face got all funny.”

Jungkook looked appalled by the statement. “What are you talking about?!”

“You were like, Y/n did this for me~~~” Jimin said in a mocking tone, exaggerating the smile he noticed. “What’s up with that?”

“Nothing! You’re the one making it a thing… I don’t even sound like that.” Jungkook mumbled, turning away. 

Jimin just looked at him, and then turned away. “I still think this is a bad idea. You obviously like her.”

“…”

“Don’t even try and deny it, I’m not dumb.”

“I don’t.” Jungkook said calmly, but he sure didn’t feel that way. His palms were sweaty and all he could focus on was the way his body reacted when his hyung put so plainly that he liked her. He made it seem so easy, but that couldn’t be it. 

You were his best friend. Any and all feelings were left far back in the past. He couldn’t like you. It was out of the question—

“Alright I’m not fighting you on this anymore. If you don’t want to see it then whatever, I’m enjoying tonight.” Jimin sighed. 

That would be impossible. You were best friends, roommates, nothing more. Yes, he liked you in the past but that was then. You both have gone through life and over time he just didn’t feel the same way for you anymore. You were his best friend—

“Jungkook, are we gonna go? We’re already late…” Jimin finally asked, seeing the way he was just sitting there staring off into space. This finally got his attention and he started the car back up. 

That feeling was just getting worse and worse the closer they got to the club. At this point he really was only going because of you. Everything in his body was telling him to drive back to the apartment and sleep away whatever’s got him feeling this way. Was he sick? Maybe that was it… 

It wasn’t too far away from Jimin’s apartment and so they were pulling into the parking garage before he knew it. Too fast in his opinion. 

It took them a little while to find a parking space, the garage filled to the brim with cars on each level. Jungkook could already tell the club was probably going to be packed today, but it was to be expected a week after the infamous holiday of love. So many new couples, new romances, new flings all celebrating the start of a brand new journey. Love was still in the air here in Itaewon. 

As soon as Jungkook pulled in he noticed the giddy smile on his hyung’s face. In this moment he decided what he was feeling was envy. He wished he had the same excitement.

“You ready?” Jimin playfully slapped his arm. He was beaming.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” Jungkook’s voice was shallow and monotone. The difference in energy was uncanny. You wouldn’t think they were going to the same place.

“Where are the girls?” Jimin questioned reaching in his back pocket.

“Y/n texted me and she said they were at the front waiting for us…” Jungkook’s attention turned to his hyung who had taken out his wallet, looking through its contents. 

“ID… card… cash…” Jimin mumbled to himself, checking that he had everything. Jungkook was hardly paying any mind, too focused on trying to pep himself up for this date, until his eyes spotted the condom in one of the pockets. 

Jungkook’s grip on the steering wheel tightened. That sinking feeling seemingly exploding to new heights. 

“What’s up with you?” Jimin noticed the way Jungkook sighed and the way he wasn’t even looking at him anymore. 

“Nothing… just hurry up please.” 

“Ooo, is Jungkookie excited for his date?” Jimin tried to tease, but there was no laugh, not even a chuckle from the younger one. This was just getting depressing at this point. 

“Jungkook. Are you sure you’re ok?” Jimin’s tone turned to concern. 

“Yes, I told you I’m fine.”

“It doesn't take rocket science to see that you’re obviously not.” 

“…” 

“What’s wrong?”

“…” 

“Is it Y/n?” 

“I told you it’s not about her!” Jungkook’s voice was a little too high saying that. 

“Then what is it then? You’ve been all mopey since you picked me up.” 

“…” 

“Jungkook…” 

“I don’t know why I feel this way.” It was annoying, he was annoyed at himself. He was already ruining the fun and they haven’t even left the car yet.

“Hey.” Jungkook felt Jimin put his hand on his shoulder. He was surprised to see him look so serious. 

“I know you’ve been through some rough times and this is the first time you’re going out in a while. Do you think it may be that?” Jimin was truly concerned at this point. 

Jungkook sighed and looked out the window. 

“I know I’ve been making jokes about you and Y/n but if this is really about you being out again…” Jimin’s eyes were full of worry as he started rubbing small circles across his back. “Is that what it is?” 

“Maybe,” He was definitely nervous about doing this again, there was no doubt about that. “But don’t worry about me.”

“Are you sure?” 

“Yeah, I just need to get used to being back. I’m pretty sure it’ll go away as soon as we get inside. You just focus on your date with Y/n. She’s been excited to meet you.” He tried to force a smile. 

He noticed his hyung’s giddy smile at the thought. “She has?”

“Yes, now don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. I’m sure I’ll have a good time.” He was trying to convince himself more than Jimin. 

“Alright, but let us know if it gets to be too much.”

“Hyung…”

“Ok ok ok ok, let’s go! Didn’t you say we were late?” Jimin asked as he opened the car door. Jungkook took a deep breath before doing the same. 

“Yeah we are. We should probably run or Y/n’s never going to forgive me.” And with that the two friends made their way out the garage building and across the street. 

It only took his eyes a second of searching before he spotted you and your friend already in line to get in. Jungkook grabbed Jimin’s hand and pulled him to catch up with the both of you. 

“Y/n!” Jungkook called out and your eyes immediately met with his. You smiled and waved them both over. By the time they made it to you, they were noticeably out of breath. 

“You finally made it…” You sighed in relief. Your eyes trained on Jungkook checking over his outfit, noticing he put on what you picked out. He looked good, well good would be an understatement, but he wasn’t your date tonight. 

Your eyes traveled over to the slightly shorter man who was standing right beside him. You smiled eagerly, silently thanking Jungkook, he knew your taste exactly. 

His black hair was parted right down the middle, his long bangs cascading down his face and framing it perfect. Despite the cool chill of the February air, he wore black pants with a matching blazer held together only by a single button, a shirt underneath nowhere in sight. You even noticed the chain around his neck that continued down his body. If you didn’t know any better you would have sworn Jungkook’s friend was a Greek god or something. 

While you were gawking at Jimin, Jungkook’s eyes were glued to your form. He hadn’t seen you get dressed before you left. You were wearing a simple, tight-fitted, red dress that showed off your curves perfectly. Jungkook could hardly remember the last time he had ever seen you this dressed up. He didn’t try to show it but he was shocked. You looked really good… 

He certainly wasn’t the only one who thought so. 

His eyes went to his hyung to see he was shamelessly checking you out, before happily smiling at you. He was already putting on that natrious Jimin charm. His gaze then went to yours who had that same giddy expression that for some reason made him want to punch a wall. 

“Hi, nice to meet you~ I’m Y/n!” You extended your hand to the handsome stranger and he eagerly grabbed it. 

“I’ve been excited to meet you beautiful~ I’m Jimin~” Jungkook felt his blood run cold at the nickname and the giggle you let out as a result. That wasn’t even funny, why were you laughing so hard? 

Too caught up with his own thoughts, he was a bit shocked when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around and in that moment Jungkook remembered why exactly they were here in the first place. This was a double date. 

“Jungkook!” You came over and put your hand on your friend's shoulders. “Sorry I almost forgot, but this is Eun Ae and she’ll be your beautiful date tonight~” You smiled before returning back to Jimin’s side. 

Just as he knew your taste you also certainly knew what he liked as well. She was absolutely beautiful. Her face was round, the curve of her nose accenting her features, the red tint to her lips lured him in. Her skin was like porcelain, contrasting perfectly with her long black hair and dark eyes that held a sultry gaze that made him shiver. Her body was decorated with a gorgeous short, silver dress wrapped around her curves, the back low hanging down her body, making his simple brain lose it at the slightest piece of exposed skin. She really was just stunning. 

Maybe this really was exactly what he needed. 

He never doubted you when it came to picking his date, but just seeing how on the nose you managed to get it had him feeling all funny inside. You both really knew each other so well. 

“It’s nice to finally meet you. Y/n talks about you a lot.” Her voice was sweet and he liked it. Maybe this won’t be so bad, he could at least try and enjoy himself. But his growing hope dwindled when eyes traveled back over to you and Jimin who had his arm already wrapped around your waist. The two of you were already smiling, laughing, and the more he looked the more he wanted to leave and never come back. 

It wasn’t too long after that the four of you made it inside of the club. As he predicted the place was indeed packed, wall to wall was just a sea of people drinking, dancing, having fun with each other. It brought back a lot of memories. 

The times you would bring him out and you would party together. It feels like so long ago at this point. It was just yesterday you went to your first party as college students. He remembered how he watched you go crazy on the dance floor from the corner of the room. You had pestered him to dance with you, but he was shy and cared way too much what the sunbaes all around thought of him. That didn’t stop you though and he couldn’t stop the smile enveloping his face as he watched you and you watched him, still trying to get him to join you.

Jungkook shook himself out of the memory when he realized he had fallen behind the rest of the group. 

All of you talked and quickly came up with a game plan for the night. You all would eat dinner together real quick, hit the dance floor later, and sometime after that you would split up your double date for some alone time. 

With a little more waiting you all found yourselves in a circular booth, Jimin and Eun Ae got in first with you and Jungkook sitting next to them on the ends. You all ordered soon after.  

“You didn’t want a drink?” Eun Ae asked after the waiter left. Jungkook just shook his head. 

“This idiot thought it’d be a great idea to drive here.” You playfully teased. 

“Yeah I meant to ask you why didn’t we just take an Uber or something?” Jimin questioned. 

“What’s wrong with wanting to drive here?” Jungkook pouted and you instantly realized the reason. 

“Ah I got it. You just wanted to show off your new car, didn’t you?!” You pointed your finger at him and knew the way he started getting all shy that you got it right on the nose. Everyone at the table started to laugh. 

“I worked hard for it…” He tried to interject but everyone was too busy laughing to pay attention. He didn’t fight it though because as always you were right. After working many different part time jobs over the years, doing odd jobs for friends, and saving everything he ever earned, Jungkook was finally able to buy himself a pretty nice car a few weeks ago. A sleek black higher end Hyundai was what he got for the fruits of his labor. 

What’s so bad about wanting to show off a little? 

It wasn't the only reason though. Driving his car gave him an easy excuse to not have to drink. With a history as recent as his, he didn’t want to chance going back into that dark depressive hole that encompassed him for a few months. It’s not like he hasn’t had one since that time, but especially with how odd he’s been feeling these days, it was better not to chance it. 

The last thing he needed anyway was to drink himself into a hole. He didn’t want to do anything stupid in front of everyone. 

The waiter arrived soon with a plate full of brightly colored drinks and Jungkook’s club soda. 

“So Jimin… I guess an easy first question… How do you and Jungkook know each other?” You were honestly curious. 

“College. We were in the same psychology class his first year and we’ve been friends ever since.” Jimin smiled thinking back to the shy kid that came up to him all those years ago.

“Jungkook, you need to tell me about your friends more often.” You reached across the table and hit his hand. How dare he keep this beautiful man from you for almost 4 years? 

“Look what happens…” Jungkook mumbled but there wasn’t any way anyone would be able to hear him with the loud music playing. 

“Tell me about yourself then~” You turned back over to Jimin with doting eyes. Even in the dim light Jungkook could tell his hyung was already flustered. 

Oh no. 

“Uhhh well, I’m Park Jimin. I grew up in Busan just like you both. Um, I went to the same college as Jungkook. I was in the dance department though and—“ 

Jungkook felt a tap to his shoulder. “What about you Jungkook, what do you study?” Eun Ae asked which made his own cheeks flush. It wasn’t for the same reason as his hyung though. 

“Film Production.” He answered back shyly. 

“It was one of my last shows I did before I graduated that I was scouted for the show I’m currently doing.” He watched as you gleamed with excitement. That look on your face was exactly why he was embarrassed. Jimin was accomplished. 

Not even 2 years since he graduated yet and the man’s already made a name for himself in the modern dance world. Jimin landed himself a great gig as soon as he was free from college. It was a big production that was directed by someone Jungkook remembers was enough to get his hyung to squeal when he found out that they wanted him to play the lead role. 

There are billboards around Seoul with him and his dance partner, it was a really big show and he’s seen many of his classmates and many other people on various social medias talk about it. You could even say that it’s gone a little viral— a young, hot, talented lead dancer in this production. People were definitely going to tune in. The one show alone managed to get him enough attention that he doesn’t even need to worry about what happens when production ends. Jimin told him how he already had a long list of coordinators who were wanting to have him in their next show. He was definitely still up and coming but he’s captured the eyes of the people, experts in the field, and best of all, a variety of directors. 

Jimin was accomplished, the most probably out of everyone graduating in his class. A few months ago he was even able to move into this really nice apartment, no roommate needed whatsoever. 

Jimin ended up explaining this to you all and Jungkook felt that sinking feeling continued to grow more and more. He hated seeing that look in your eye or the way you subtly would move a little closer as he kept adding more and more impressive stuff to his list. Jungkook grabbed his cup a little tighter, taking a long swig. 

Maybe he really shouldn’t have driven today, this wasn’t strong enough. 

“Ahhh! I knew you looked familiar!” Eun Ae smiled. “It took me a minute to place your face but a few of my friends have seen your show! I wanna go see it now.” Now even his own date was getting swooned by the amazing Park Jimin. 

How could he compete with that? 

All he had to his name was his Hyundai and student loan debt. He suddenly regretted bringing him here. 

Everyone’s eyes for the most part remained on Jimin even after their food got here. He continued to talk about his life, typical first date topics but Jimin was charming you and he knew that. You had that same stupid look that he remembers you had on your face whenever your ex was at the apartment. 

Jungkook was hardly there to see it but there were moments he remembers coming home to the two of you in the living room, your eyes gleaming as he talked, that weird laugh you would do whenever he’d make a horrible joke, or the way your hands had a habit of resting on his thighs. All he’s come to realize were telltale signs that you were in fact down bad. 

Jimin also had that same dopey look with you. You made sure to engage in any of the stories he would tell, adding your own anecdotes here and there before the conversation changed to be about you. You talked about your journey preparing for law school and Jimin had that same sparkle that you did in his eyes.

This was a match, Jungkook really nailed it with this one.

…

Sometimes Eun Ae would try and spark up a conversation with him, but usually they were all relatively short lived. It wasn’t like it was hard to talk to her, in fact it was quite the opposite. She would try and ask him general first date questions and a nice back and forth would get going. She would laugh and that would make him happy, he would as well sometimes. It was nice. 

But somewhere in the middle his attention would always drift back over to you and Jimin. Eun Ae would notice and the conversation would die out before it hardly began. He hated it. 

By the time everyone finished eating Jungkook wished for nothing more than to go home. The whole time that sinking feeling he’d hoped would go away only seemed to escalate further and further, this double date harder to get through than he could have imagined. He was too sober for this. 

It was you who suggested that you take your party over to the dance floor. Popular songs everyone knew were playing as the four of you made your way to the rainbow colored floor. Couples, friends, and singles all were having a blast moving their bodies to the sounds of the music. 

Your party made it through the thick crowd and managed to wedge yourselves in between everyone. You danced all together for a while, jumping around screaming the lyrics for any of the songs you guys knew. It was the first time Jungkook was fully able to enjoy himself, hoping this was finally the turn around he needed. 

It was that same feeling he used to have whenever you dragged him to parties when you both were in your first year. He missed it so much. Spending time with you and actually enjoying himself at places like this. 

That was until the DJ decided to switch it up. Instead of the fun, hype songs for everyone, the DJ announced that the next set was for all the new couples from Valentines Day. The songs transitioned perfectly, they were a little slower with very clear and obvious sexual undertones. 

Oh no. 

Jungkook watched as you smiled at him and Eun Ae before you decided to wrap your arms around Jimin’s neck. He wasn’t bothered by this at all and placed his hands on your hips. Even in the dim light he could see the flirty exchanges, the longing glances, and subtly touches. 

Taking him out of his dazed stare was Eun Ae grabbing his hand asking to dance with him. He tried to smile and pulled her close, but his mind was elsewhere.  

No… no he wasn’t gonna do this anymore. 

Jungkook turned them around so he couldn’t face you and Jimin and turned his full attention to the beautiful lady who was his date tonight. This seemed to be just what he needed to focus. 

The two of them talked, finally having an ongoing conversation. It was nice, very nice actually. Jungkook liked her, she was funny, pretty, so pretty actually. When the songs changed to slow dance he couldn’t help but pull her even closer. His arms were wrapped tightly her waist, his head buried in her shoulder. Jungkook was already planning the next time they might be able to meet each other. This is really all he needed, alone time, away from the others. He was happy.

But that didn’t last long. 

All it took was one glance over to realize they had turned around. In Jungkook’s peripheral he saw you two… You were just inches away from each other, your faces so close he had to look twice to see if you were… your arms were wrapped tightly around his neck, your fingers gently running through his hair, and Jimin’s grip on your waist had lowered even further to grab at your ass. He saw red.

Jungkook felt sick.

He quickly apologized before running to the bathroom. His heart was practically jumping out his chest, his skin burned with fire. As soon as the door closed he headed straight to the sink to splash some cold water on his face, hoping to soothe whatever this horrible feeling was. 

Jungkook looked at himself in the mirror. He couldn’t even recognize himself anymore. What was wrong with him? Was he actually sick? 

Jungkook thought back to you and Jimin and it took everything in him to not throw something. It was obvious at this point he was upset at the sight but why? He couldn’t even explain it, he should be happy for you?! You were his best friend and you were clearly having a great time. Fuck he hated it. Why him? Why was it Jimin? He couldn’t stand seeing the two of you together. Just the thought of it had him balling up his fist. 

Why was he so angry? Jungkook let out a loud sigh, not even caring who was in here with him. It hurt so much, that sinking feeling making him scrunch up his face tightly hoping he could just stop it. 

How far was tonight going to go for you? Would you smile at him the same way that Jungkook knows lights up a whole room? Would you laugh at all his jokes, no matter if they’re not funny or not? Would you let him make your heart flutter, that feeling of excitement that always comes from a new romance? Jimin was a great guy, of course you probably fell into that trap. Would you let him kiss you? Your hands pulling him close to feel your sweet lips, a heated desire that you couldn’t allow to continue any longer. 

He remembered the condom in his hyung’s wallet. 

Would you let him touch you? Your fervent hands grappling, touching, pulling, needing to feel each other closer than ever. Would you let him make you cum tonight? Your desperate pleas on the verge of release, ready for him to relieve all that pent up tension from the past year. 

Jungkook’s back hit the wall, the thoughts becoming overwhelming. This was his fault. All of this was his fault. If he wasn’t so pitiful last year you wouldn’t even be in this situation, you would probably still be happy with your boyfriend. You wouldn’t need to crave the touch of Jimin. 

But he didn’t want that either. 

Jungkook just wanted to go back to the way things were before. Just you and him. 

At this point he considered leaving right now. How could he go back out there and see you out there with him? He couldn’t. But that wasn’t fair to you and it certainly wasn’t fair to Eun Ae.

Jungkook sluggishly made it back to the main area of the club, instead of going back to the dance floor he just took a seat at the bar, resting his head at the counter. It was probably a second before he felt a tap on his shoulder. It was Eun Ae. 

She smiled at the shocked look on his face and went ahead and took a seat right next to him. It wasn’t long before you and Jimin were making their way over too. Jungkook hardly realized though, too focused on the way your hands were intertwined. 

“I guess this would be a great time to split up?” You smiled at them and Jungkook felt sick all over again. 

Eun Ae nodded. “You guys have fun~ We’ll just be over here.”

“Ok then…” Your gaze turned toward Jungkook. “Treat Eun Ae nice ok~” 

Jungkook tried to smile and he nodded. He really should have just left.

“We’ll be at the other end of the bar, bye guys!” Jimin beamed pointed to the opposite end. Everyone said quick goodbyes before Jimin was leading you off for some alone time. 

He hated this. 

“Sooooo…” Eun Ae started, but Jungkook was hardly listening, his mind swirling with too many thoughts.

He didn’t even notice when she ordered herself a drink or when she tried having a conversation with him. Jungkook would try his best to focus but his eyes would drift over to you and Jimin at the end of the bar.

He felt a tape on his shoulder. It was Eun Ae again. 

“Jungkook.” She sounded annoyed, her arms crossed. She had every right to be mad at him. “Is there something going on?” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“You’ve been looking at Y/n all night.” Eun Ae sounded less annoyed this time, in fact her grimmer turned into a smile. “It really isn’t hard to see that you like her.”

Jungkook felt his blood run cold. 

“Ahhh I should have seen it coming, you guys are so close and a guy like you is never just single.” She sighed, taking a swig of her drink. 

“I don’t like her.” Jungkook tried to say as dryly as he could. His words said one thing but his actions said another as his attention focused on the way Jimin took your hand and started leading you back into the sea of people. 

Eun Ae laughed, it was a hardy laugh like it was the best joke she ever heard. “You’re joking right?” She was wiping her eyes, trying to calm herself down. But Jungkook looked like he was dead serious. 

Her face fell. 

“Do you think I’m dumb?” She playfully hit his arm. “Jungkook, you've been looking at her all night. I don’t mean to brag but…” she gestured over herself “I look amazing tonight yet you haven’t been able to take your eyes off her! I can’t blame you though…” 

“We’re just friends, I’m serious.” Jungkook sounded so dejected. He surely felt that way. 

“Oookkkk, well go over there and confess, change that right now!” She pointed in the direction you left with Jimin. 

“But I can’t! I don’t like her like that, I can’t like her like that! She’s my best friend, that’s it.” Jungkook was a little too emotional in his words. Eun Ae just stared at him, accessing what the issue might be, but she finally realized the problem here. 

“Alright. Ok. Jungkook, you know it’s ok to have feelings for your best friend right? It’s Y/n too, she’s beautiful, funny, smart, you guys are best friends for a reason. Why are you treating it like it’s the worst thing in the world…” 

“I can’t lose her. Feelings make things complicated and the last thing I want to do is make things complicated with her.” Jungkook had no idea why he was spilling his guts right now. “But I really don’t like her like that so that doesn’t even matter…” He tried to save himself but Eun Ae was seeing right through it. 

“I understand these things can be scary. I know you guys have been friends for years now, taking that leap can be difficult. But Jungkook, you can’t keep doing this to yourself. It’s hurting you… at some point there will be a ‘too late.’” 

Too late…

Jungkook couldn’t resist at this point and ordered himself a shot of whiskey. It wasn’t enough whatsoever to get him drunk but he enjoyed the warmth as it went down his throat. He held his face in his hands as the reality of her words was starting to make things obvious. 

Just imagining you and Jimin together made his heart ache so much it made it hard to breathe. As much as he tried to convince himself this was all a product of just being a little too close over the last year, he would actually have to be stupid to realize it wasn’t that. 

But admitting it was a different challenge. Making it an issue he needed to address was terrifying.  

He didn’t say anything. Eun Ae didn’t either but rubbed his back gently. 

The revelation was horrifying. He was jealous, so so fucking jealous. Jimin had everything, but the one thing that was his Jimin had to come and take that too. 

“I don’t… I can’t like her…” 

“I don’t mean to be that person, but Jungkook… turn around.” Eun Ae pointed out. Jungkook turned around and it felt like his whole world ended. 

You and Jimin were in the far distance, even in the dim light he could see your back against one of the pillars in the club, your arms wrapped around Jimin as he kissed you passionately. 

In an instant he felt his heart shatter into two. It was like the end of his perfect world, the lie had come crumbling down and he was facing the consequences. You weren’t his, nothing about this scene was wrong, but the longer he looked the more his heart pounded in his chest. He wanted to scream, he wanted to cry, it was too much. 

Without thinking Jungkook got up to his feet and looked at Eun Ae.

“I’m sorry—“ 

“Go! I’m rooting for you!” She cheered and Jungkook was pushing himself through the crowd. 

He couldn’t think whatsoever, his heart being the one that carried his feet over to the two of you. Furry, anger, sadness, it hurt so bad. He could hardly breathe. Fuck, fuck, fuck, he can’t be too late?!

As he got closer the more he got sick. He could see the way Jimin eagerly ran his hands down your sides, grabbing anything you could, he could see the way your tongues danced around, the more detail the harder it was to look. If he didn’t get there soon he knew his hyung would be dragging you out of a club, inviting you back to his fancy apartment a few blocks away. 

The thought had him speeding up as he made it up the stairs and behind the two of you. He pulled Jimin off of you as quickly as he could, an obvious agitation and roughness to his actions. Immediately Jimin turned around, a little shocked to find Jungkook there, but he could hardly process it before Jungkook was grabbing your wrist. 

“What the–” 

“Sorry, I need to talk to Y/n.” He didn’t elaborate at all and, maybe a little too roughly, started pulling you toward the exit in the back.  

“Jungkook what the hell?” You were clearly mad at him and honestly you have every right to be, but Jungkook didn’t pay any attention and quickly led you to the doors at the back of the building.

He forced them open, the doors parting violently, as he led you down the ramp. Outside was an alleyway, a dim light over the door that would flicker occasionally, it being the only thing lighting up the area. The sounds of the loud music from the club faded as the doors shut behind you, but the violent booms of the bass in the music continued to bleed through the brick walls. No one was out here but the two of you. 

“Jungkook?! Hello?!” You called out and he abruptly let go of your wrist. He started pacing back and forth, seemingly very distressed. “I don’t know if you noticed but I was clearly in the middle of something!” You said even more annoyed that he wasn’t saying anything.   

Silence.

“Did something happen?” You asked a tad bit of concern in your voice this time, but all you got was more silence. 

“Jungkook, talk to me please!” You begged, getting even more frustrated. He just dragged you away from Jimin for seemingly no reason and all you got was silence. You were pissed, you wanted him to say something… anything. 

You didn’t know how the silence seemed to grow even louder. 

You had enough of his games.

“Ok… If that’s how you wanna be then…” You were mad and you made sure he knew that. 

You started heading for the ramp but a hand on your wrist pulled you back, suddenly your back was against the brick wall and Jungkook was closer than you remembered. A lot closer. His grip on your wrist was still tight and you both just stared at each other, your breathing heavy.

Your heart skipped a beat.

Jungkook didn’t give you much time to think about it because before you could process anything his lips were suddenly on yours. He didn’t know what he was doing, he didn’t know why he had brought you out here. You were with Jimin, but he didn’t want to think about that right now. Your lips were so soft and his entire body lit up with a fire he had never experienced in his life. 

This was it, everyone was right. 

The kiss didn’t last very long, he finally came to his senses to realize what he had done. 

Jungkook pulled away slowly, waiting for you to push him away, waiting for you to scream, waiting for that look on your face that told him you’d be moving out the next day, but none of that happened. Jungkook saw the look of surprise on your face for a split second. He searched your eyes for any indication of what you were thinking, but you didn’t give him much time to look because you used your hands to pull his face to yours again. 

Jungkook was shocked but was easily able to melt into it, him bringing a hand up to tilt your head so he could kiss you better. He had never felt like this before, the adrenaline was pumping through his veins making everything even more heightened. Your body, your lips, your hands, oh fuck your hands. They had moved to pull at the long strands that covered his head.  

Jungkook knew at that moment he couldn’t be your friend ever again. He liked this way too much for that to be possible.

You were so good, so beautiful, how had he not seen that before? Why hadn’t he done this before? 

Jungkook used his other hand to rest on your waist and pull your body closer. It just wasn’t enough, nothing was enough at this point, he wanted you so much closer. 

Jungkook sent you further into the wall, needing a better angle. You both got more antsy, fevorant touches all over, your lips hastily moving together, the tension that’s been building for years finally… he’s finally…

Jungkook pushed you even further, the hand on your hip going to your thigh and traveling up your soft skin, pushing your dress further up your leg. He needed you now, the desperation becoming too much at this point. 

Jungkook broke away from your lips to dive straight for your neck, planting hurried kisses along your burning skin. You gasped at the feeling and Jungkook ground into you at the sound. He wanted you to keep making pretty sounds for him. 

He decided to suck a little harder this time and the moan you made had him hurriedly chasing his hips into yours as he moved back to quiet you and himself. 

He could have cried at how much his body was screaming at him to have you.

Jungkook had zero regard for the fact they were still in this alleyway, he didn’t care whatsoever. All he wondered was how soon he could get inside you.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Jungkook’s mind was hazy and the thing he could focus on was how nice your lips felt and how good it felt to rub himself along your thigh like this. You wouldn’t mind right? If he takes you right here and now…

Fuck, your lips, your skin, your body, so good, you were so good, so amazing. Everything happening and he just had to–

Before things progressed any further, both of your attentions turned back to the door that led to the club. A couple, smiling, laughing together, who were likely heading home walked out. You saw the way their smiles dropped when they quickly noticed they were interrupting something. They both tried not to make eye contact as they came down the ramp and headed down the alley. As they passed it was obvious they were talking about the two of you, them hushingly complaining about PDA these days.

Jungkook couldn’t even look at them, knowing what might have happened if they hadn’t interrupted. The awkward encounter didn’t sway him whatsoever though and as the couple made it out the alley, Jungkook turned to face you to see a pained expression on your face. The both of you knew what you wanted.

“Car?” Jungkook rushed out hurriedly and you nodded. You were about to make your dash for the car but you felt his hand pull you back and you looked at him confused. One glance behind you was all you needed to see to notice the very obvious problem that you had made.

Jungkook looked around, his face flushed, a sense of embarrassment clouding over him as he pulled you close. If you didn’t feel it before you certainly could now. It made you even more excited. “Don’t walk too far ahead…” He whispered and you got the picture. 

As quickly as you could you made the dash across the street and up all the stairs to the parking garage. Somewhere in the back of his mind he silently thanked himself for bringing his car with him and laughing at anyone who decided to make fun of him for doing so. There wasn’t any way he was making it back to the apartment like this.

When you finally made it to the car he couldn’t resist and pushed you into the door. He kissed you hard, not being able to stand being away from you any longer. The little bit of extra privacy and desire to feel you made him bolder, quickly snaking his hand up your thigh and grabbing a handful of your ass. 

“Jungkook—“ You whined way too loudly considering where, instantly having him chase his hips into you. He hurriedly picked you up, you wrapped your legs around his waist, as he leaned you against the door. The new angle allowed him to practically fuck you with your clothes on. Jungkook kissed you desperately, touching and grabbing everything he could, as he rutted into you. 

Fuck, he needed you now. 

“Jungkook— I need you so bad please—“ You whispered right in his ear. Your words triggered something primal inside of him. If he didn’t get you both inside soon, he wouldn’t give two shits anymore. He was fucking you on his car.

He felt like a fucking teenager all over again, you were literally right in front of the door. 

Jungkook racked his cloudy brain trying to remember where he put his keys. At the same time, your lips started trailing down his neck. You quickly found a spot that instantly had him moaning for you, a particularly hard thrust assuring you that this was the spot. As soon as you figured it out, you kept going, kissing and sucking, getting such pretty whines to fall from his lips. 

“If you keep doing that shit we’re not gonna make it into the car.” He groaned, so fucking tempted to just take you right now, like this. 

Where the fuck did he put his keys?! 

He haphazardly searched through his memories, trying to pinpoint when he had them last when it suddenly came to him. They were in his suit pocket. It couldn’t come soon enough that he reached his hand into it and just like he remembered, he managed to find the fob. 

He hastily pulled it out and unlocked his car. 

He sat you down and hurriedly opened the door. Jungkook climbed in the back seat and you went right in after, climbing straight onto his lap, and slamming the door behind you. 

Jungkook just stared at you for a second, his mind unable to process the beauty that was in front of him. Oh fuck…

You didn’t give him too much time to admire and pulled him back into a kiss, this angle making it so you could easily grind yourself against him. The friction made the both of you moan out, your bodies brushing against each other in a rush to feel. He wanted so much more. 

You broke away from the kiss and focused your attention on kissing his neck right on that spot, enjoying the soft sighs of pleasure he would let out as his grip on your waist tightened. 

Jungkook was going to lose his mind. He tried to come back enough to pull your dress up back over your ass. His hands were quick to feel, making you groan softly. 

That’s it. Foreplay was nice but it’s been so long and he needed to feel you now, his whole body screaming at him to take it up a notch. He wanted to feel you around him, make you his and his alone.

Jungkook hurriedly tugged at the thin strings of your thong. It took him a moment to remember the fact they were in his car, with how cramped it was back here, it would take you way too long to try and get them down your legs. Instead, he moved his hand and used his finger to gently massage your clothed bud, instantly earning him a gratifying moan from you as a reward. 

You were already so wet for him, the lacy fabric soaked and he could have just died right there. You were enjoying this, you were enjoying his touch… Did you want him as much as he wanted you? Has your body been longing for him, waiting for this day to happen? His mind was fuzzy so he didn’t think about it too hard, but it just made him that much more eager to finally be inside you. 

He got a little braver as he pushed your thong to the side, letting his fingers finally slide through the slickness of your folds. 

“Jung–Jungkook, fuck please…” You begged, throwing your head back in pleasure. Maybe in other instances he would have been more inclined to tease you a little but he couldn’t be bothered with you begging for him like that. All he wanted was to please you. 

Jungkook watched your face intently as he curled a finger into you, the both of you moaning out in the process. His whole body reacted, you were so warm, tight around him, so fucking good. If you felt this good around his finger just imagining you around his…

Jungkook couldn’t help rutting into you at the thought. Just wait till he fucks you… 

He eagerly got to work, a finger in your hole while he used his thumb to rub circles around your clit. It wasn’t his best work since he didn’t have too much room to work with, but that didn’t matter whatsoever. 

He marveled at the pretty sounds you would make, he could even feel your arms shaking as you held onto his shoulder. At this point he added another finger, hoping you could take him soo—

Oh my fucking gosh… In an instant he remembered a very important item he left in his drawer in his room. 

He didn’t bring condoms.

They weren’t at all a top priority in his mind since he really didn’t think he was going to have sex tonight. He was so disheveled about the date there wasn’t any ounce of him that considered he could very well be having sex at any point, but fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. This was the worst possible time he could have forgotten to bring a condom.

Jungkook took out all his sexual frustration of the situation on you, turning it up the notch in making sure he can at least make you cum. He added another finger and his attention focused on your neck till he managed to find the sweet spot that got you to whimper for him. 

You quickly used your hand to cover your month, the only one the tiniest bit aware of the fact that you were getting fingered in a public parking lot. But your efforts to keep quiet didn’t last for too long, Jungkook’s fingers brushing past the spot that made you practically a mess on top of him. 

“There there please!” You tried to whisper but it was no use. Jungkook already knew he found it and you buried yourself in his suit jacket. You were going to scream at this point, your body on fire for a touch you’ve longed for for over a year. 

“I wanna hear you…” He said it so softly you barely caught it with the way your mind was spinning. 

“Fuck— but we’re in public,” you ended up moaning out. You were gonna cum soon at this rate.

Jungkook quickened up the pace of his fingers sliding in and out of your soaking pussy, this angle making it so he hit that spot over and over and— Your back arched instinctively and a moan you just couldn’t contain escaped your lips. He wasn’t going to let you be quiet. 

A fire seemed to burn brighter and brighter inside you, your whole body tingling and ready. You were so close. 

“Fuck fuck fuck, Jungkook please I’m so close!” You cried, throwing your head back. You didn’t care at all who heard you anymore, all you wanted was that sweet release. 

Jungkook’s breathing became heavier as he watched you fall apart on his fingers. The feeling of your warm walls soaking his fingers and the beautiful moans you would let out had him spiraling out of control quicker and quicker. He wanted to fuck you so bad. 

“Please—“ Your moans got louder. You were close and he knew that. Fuck, fuck, fuck, you were so close. His grip on your hips tightened and his hips hastily came up to meet nothing. Why did he have to forget condoms? He was moaning along with you. Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck, fuc—

It will forever be ingrained into his memory, the time you came all over his fingers in the parking garage in front of the club. Every single detail. The way you looked him right in his eyes, that look as he saw you reached that sweet release, your moans stopping, the moment so overwhelming you couldn’t even scream. The feeling of the way your walls tightened around his fingers, soaked beyond belief at this point. The way his heart swelled because you were so fucking pretty like this. What made this even more memorable was the result. 

Right in that moment he felt it too, hitting him like a freight train, his whole body shook as he felt that sweet release right along with you. 

You both stared at each other, trying your best to come down from that high feeling. Your breathing was heavy but your body buzzed with excitement, you wanted to feel him, no, needed to feel him at this point. 

You were about to reach down to grab at his belt but your attention focused on the way he hurriedly looked down between the two and back up at you with panicked eyes. 

Confused, you looked down and you saw the issue. The only lights in the car were the little ones bleeding in from the neon signs outside, but the angle was just right for you to see the wet stain that painted his pants. 

“I’m sorry! Fuck, I’m so sorry.” It was clear he was embarrassed, you were almost sure in the darkness you could see his cheeks turning a brighter shade of red by the second. 

You couldn’t help but giggle. 

“Don’t laugh!” He cried, getting more and more flustered. 

“You’re so cute! No need to be embarrassed~” You tried to reassure, but you weren’t really helping. 

“I don’t even know what happened…” Jungkook was in disbelief. This has never happened before and of course of all times it did it had to be with you, the girl he wanted to impress the most. 

“Don’t worry about it, I’m serious Jungkook…”

“I know we couldn’t go all the way but fuck I just had to—“ He was ranting but you quickly interrupted, wondering what he meant by that. 

“I forgot condoms…” He sighed, hating to admit the fact but was still shocked when he felt the light slap on his shoulder.

“How could you forget condoms? We literally went on dates today, it’s a date Jungkook, you always bring condoms on dates.” You were flabbergasted by this fact. You knew you should have helped him pack for the date as well. 

The mention of the fact that you both were in fact still on dates with other people had an awkward tension arising and words that needed to be said became even more obvious. 

You were about to say something but Jungkook shushed you. 

“Not here, while I’m like this…” You knew what he was referring to so you just shut yourself up and moved off top of him. Jungkook’s eyes hung onto your form, a worried expression on your face, before he was pushing out the car door and getting out. 

Jungkook tried to hurry and get to the door in front, as it was extremely obvious the minute he stepped out what the two of you were doing in his car. The stain on his dark gray suit was a dead giveaway, but your lipstick was smeared all over his face and neck, and you could even see faint marks of hickeys.

You resisted the urge to laugh as he struggled to get the door open. You were quick to follow him and got in on the passengers side. 

“Uh— we should probably text Jimin and Eun Ae letting them know we’re leaving.” Jungkook pointed out and you felt horrible realizing you already forgot about them. You were actually terrible. 

You and Jungkook sent quick texts to the friends you brought along and Jungkook was pulling out of the parking garage on the way back to your apartment.

Not a word was said to each other on the way over, the silence loud enough to leave your mind spiraling. What the actual fuck did you just do? 

When you both made it back, you both still didn’t talk then, Jungkook immediately headed to the shower before you could even attempt to bring it up. Your mind was flooded and you ended up turning to what takes your mind off stress best and that’s cleaning, more specifically you decided now would be the perfect time to do laundry. 

You just had sex with your best friend. You had sex with Jungkook?! Jeon motherfucking Jungkook. Your best friend. 

You just crossed a line you knew you were never going to be able to come back from. That platonic barrier you tried your best to hide behind was gone and there was nothing you could do about it. 

The fact you both haven’t even talked about what happened made you even more worried. Did he like you? Were you a desperate attempt at a quick fuck? Were you about to lose your best friend? Your mind was so clouded as you loaded clothes into the dryer, you didn’t notice when Jungkook came up right behind you.

“Hello?” Jungkook asked and you nearly screamed. Your body reacted on its own and you turned around to start swinging, or rather more so waving your arms around hoping it’d do something. 

“Hey wait—“ He tried to say but you didn’t even process the fact it was just Jungkook until one of your swings actually did a little damage, a firm slap right across his chest was enough for him to cry out and you finally opened your eyes to see your friend right behind you. 

“Oops” You mumbled already feeling that guilt start to creep up. But Jungkook didn’t look mad whatsoever, if anything he looked amused. He thought you were absolutely adorable. 

Instead of saying anything about it though, he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you into a hug, resting his head on your shoulder. “It’s me stupid…” He mumbled into your skin.

You couldn’t help but melt into his embrace, that fluttery feeling spreading all throughout your body. He was so warm and you enjoyed the sweet scents of his body wash. “You should have said something sooner..” You pointed out. 

“I did, I kept calling your name but you didn’t hear me.” He retorted and it just made you feel worse. 

Silence passed for a little while before you finally muttered “I’m sorry…” Jungkook didn’t say anything but pulled you tighter against him. 

“What are you doing by the way?” He finally asked and let you go. You got back to working on getting the clothes in the dryer. 

“Laundry, you know when I get stressed I start doing chores…” You muttered. 

“I know that, but why are you so stressed?” He chuckled and you quickly turned around to face him again. 

“Because you’re my best friend and you know what we just did in the back of your car! We just crossed a whole lot of lines and I’m confused—“ You were stern but your eyes couldn’t help but take in his appearance. His long hair was damp and still curly, a white shirt hung loosely around his frame and he had on those strange, bright blue shorts underneath. 

He was absolutely breathtaking.

Jungkook sighed but leaned forward so his hands were back on the washer, caging you in. He was so close. 

“I’m an idiot, I'm sorry…” He sighed as his eyes focused right on yours. You were intrigued, waiting for him to continue. 

“This whole week I’ve just felt off, you know? Ever since you brought up you wanted to go on a double date… I tried to convince myself that it was all because of the fact that we were going out again after all this time. I knew deep down and apparently others did as well, that it was because I liked you…” His words made your heart do a backflip.

“I couldn’t accept it for a while because feelings are complicated and the last thing I wanted to do was make the relationship with the person who’s been by my side even during my worst times complicated. Losing you…” You noticed it, his eyes were a little glossy. 

“I couldn’t lose you.” You could have just melted into the floor right there, trying to fight the tears that were threatening to spill over. 

“But when I saw you and hyung together…” His eyes turned away. “I knew I couldn’t pretend anymore… I had to do something before it was too late.” He tried to smile but you could hear the pain in his voice. 

“I’m sorry if I was too forward, I just had to do something before you walked away… I didn’t even ask how you feel…” He finally met your eyes once again and he was shocked to see your eyes filled with tears. 

“How do I feel? You really are an idiot Jungkook…” You tried to laugh but you were getting choked up. He looked utterly confused. 

“I’ve liked you since highschool! I spent all this time thinking you didn’t like me back. You never made a move back then, but then we came here and you got a girlfriend pretty quickly. I thought it must have been one-sided, you know? I started dating Incheol but when you came back… I had a little hope over the past year, but when you agreed to go on a double date, I thought it was finally time to give up.”

If Jungkook wasn’t so consumed in questioning his own feelings for you he would have noticed the signs. The way you meticulously analyzed his face when you suggested a double date, hoping he would hate the idea, or at the very least show some disdain to it. He would have noticed the way you slammed the door after he agreed to it and cried silently to yourself in your room at your silly feelings for your best friend. He would have noticed long before the event of Valentines weekend the look in your eyes whenever you spent time together. He would have guessed maybe he had something to do with you and Incheol breaking up. You tried to put on a brave face, at this point thinking Jungkook really didn’t see you that way.   

“What…” His voice was small and he was just staring at you in shock. 

“I think we’re both dumb—“ Jungkook hardly let you finish your sentence before he was pushing you against the washer and finally closing the distance.

The kiss was soft and nothing like what happened at the club. It was just pure passion that had years of negligence behind it. It was a little scary taking this step with Jungkook, you couldn’t lose him either, but you were glad that you were. Your heart was full and you wanted nothing more than to have him closer.

He lifted you on top of the washer, the angle allowing him to pull you closer.   

Jungkook pulled away slowly, the pull of your lips way too enticing but he had something to say. His hand came up to caress your cheek softly before 3 words you’ll never forget left his mouth. “I love you.” His voice barely above a whisper but you heard it loud and clear.

“It’s probably too soon to say that but I just needed you to—“ You didn’t give him time to finish before you were pulling him back, kissing him hard. 

“I love you too…” You probably could have cried in the moment but the words lit a fire in you and you needed him closer. 

Your words sent Jungkook to a new level of insane, he needed to be inside you. You certainly felt it too, the nudging against your thigh made it obvious. 

Jungkook broke the kiss, your breaths were heavy and he was eagerly playing with the hem of your dress. ”Y/n do you wanna—“ He didn't need to finish, you were already nodding your head. 

You were suddenly lifted off the washer, laughing as Jungkook practically sped his way over to your room, kicking in the door and throwing you onto the bed. 

You both giggled but the moment was not lost, Jungkook quickly climbing on top of you and finding your lips once again. You wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him closer, you needed him closer. Your body was on fire and all you wanted was to feel him. 

Jungkook pulled away slowly, hand trailing down your body, and his eyes staring right into yours.

“You’re so beautiful…” His words were soft and had you melting on the inside. 

“Jungkook…”

His eyes scanned over you once more. “We should have done this sooner…” He chuckled lightly, but he was serious. This whole evening wouldn’t have been necessary if he was just honest with himself sooner. 

Jungkook started kissing you lightly down the neck making you gasp. 

“We’re dumb, aren’t we?” You replied breathlessly as he started to suck a little harder. You moaned lightly, knowing this was likely gonna leave a mark. 

“Extremely…” He was hardly paying attention anymore, his full attention now on making you feel good. He wanted to devour you, make you his and his alone.

Jungkook’s attention focused on your eyes as he started pulling your dress up. “Just think about it… instead of all this sexual frustration we could have been— oh.” You couldn’t even finish at the way he rutted into you. 

“We’re so fucking stupid… I feel like I’m gonna explode…” He said bashfully.

“You did earlier...” You playfully teased and could stop yourself laughing at the way his mouth dropped. 

“I hate you so much.” He mumbled, trying to feign being upset but you could see the smile on his face. 

“Says the man who just confessed he loves me~” You giggled and at this he couldn’t help but laugh along with you. Jungkook sighed knowing it’s true. 

You didn’t miss the way he started moving down your body, in between the commotion your body lighting up at what you knew he had in mind next.

He eventually got to the point he was staring right at your long ruined thong and took a shaky breath. He wanted to taste you so fucking bad. 

Jungkook looked up at you. “Please?” He asked hurriedly and you nodded. With your permission he quickly pushed up your dress even further and tugged your panties down your legs. 

“You’re so pretty.” He said absentmindedly, like you weren’t supposed to hear. You chuckled at his words making him look back up at you. 

He flushed realizing he said that outloud but smiled because you did. His shy demeanor quickly shifted as you saw the mischievous glint in his eyes. 

“Who were you imagining the other night?” Jungkook asked suddenly as he moved a finger through your slick folds.

“What are you talking about?” You questioned, but his finger now circling your clit had your mind elsewhere. 

“That day I was working on my project. Valentine's Day.” 

Silence passed for a little while until you suddenly sat up realizing what he was talking about. Jungkook laughed at the look on your face. 

“You put too much faith in the walls, my desk is right on the other side.” Jungkook had a slight teasing tone to his voice, an adorable bunny expression on his face like he wasn't fingering you right now as he admitted to hearing you play with yourself. 

You laid back down, embarrassment creeping up making your face hot. 

“No need to be embarrassed.” Jungkook recounted back to the words you told him earlier. You just groaned, somehow that made it worse. Jungkook chuckled, but his attention turned toward what he was doing between your legs. 

“I’m serious though. It was hot… really hot.” He smiled. 

“Stopppp…” You cried, both in the way you still couldn’t even look at him, but also his finger started picking up the pace.  

“You were the reason I was up all night trying to work on it.” He chuckled darkly. At this you finally peered down at him. 

“You sounded so pretty, I wanted to come over and help you. I thought you would never be down for that but after tonight, I can’t help but wonder who it was you were thinking of to make you sound like that?” His face was just as innocent as it normally was, but his words were dangerous. 

Your embarrassment in the situation faded immediately and instead a cocky grin spread across your face. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” You laughed. 

“Tell me.”

“Make me.” You retorted back quickly. You were playing with fire at this point but you wanted to see what he would do. 

Your words were a challenge, a fire alighting inside.

His sweet smile disappeared as he turned back to your soaking pussy. He smirked and with that challenged head tilt he always did, he said nothing more as he dove straight between your legs. You hardly had any time to react before he was spreading your legs and taking one long lick between your folds. 

Your body reacted on its own, a fire spreading throughout your body and a soft moan escaped your lips. You looked down at him a little shocked but you were a little surprised to find him looking up at you. You saw him smirk quickly before diving straight back then, this time with full intent on making you scream. 

You never really knew what you pictured Jungkook to be like during sex. You never saw anything weird when he was dating Yoona and when you were still dating Incheol you and Jungkook hardly ever ran into each other. You were over at his place mainly, but you would occasionally come back to your shared apartment to hang out. You can still remember all the times you would be lying in bed awake to the sounds of girls moaning their hearts out in the room next door. It wasn’t the quiet guy who had been your friend since high school, but you knew whatever was happening next door was good. 

You finally found out today what all the fuss was about. 

Jungkook was skilled as he swirled his tongue around your clit. Your hands quickly found their place in his dark locks, your body being set ablaze at the pleasure. 

“Oh fuck–” You whinned.

His movements got faster and the more you wanted. “Jungkook, please…” You pleaded. 

He pulled back at your words and smiled. “Tell me then, who were you thinking of that night?” His fingers got back to work teasing your clit. 

“Just forget that and make me– ohhh gosh.” You cried as he moved them to finger your clenching hole. With experience in the car he was quickly able to find the spot that had made you a mess so quickly for him. 

You whined. “Jungkook, fuck, please.” You were practically begged, needing more. 

“I said tell me.” His voice was calm as he looked at you already a mess for so little. The work of his one finger alone was enough to have you brushing against the edge. If anything it made it worse, you could almost taste the release. 

He made sure to speed up the pace pushing over that same spot, maybe it was the drought that made you so sensitive, but you moaned, your back arching at the feeling.

“Tell me Y/N–” Jungkook said again. 

“It was you!” You cried, you couldn’t play the game anymore. “It was you Jungkook!” You made sure to say it again so he heard. Suddenly he stopped. Confused and a little annoyed you looked down to see a stupid smile on his face, both in the fact that he won and you had thought of him like that. 

It was just like this almost, him between your legs as he ate you out for hours, was the fantasy your brain had chosen to go with to try and soothe the ache between your legs. 

“I can promise you I’m better in person.” Jungkook suddenly said and you just playfully rolled your eyes. He already proved that to be true. 

“I’m sure you are, now get back to work, we’ve been deprived way too long for you to try and edge.” You giggled and he laughed at that. 

“What’s wrong with taking our time a little? I like seeing you a mess for me.” He cheesed and your heart swelled. You loved him so much. 

“Jungkook…” You warned and at this he finally took the hint and got back to work. 

He eagerly went to add a second finger inside and his tongue was back to suck on your clit. The combination had that flame quickly returning. His fingers curled inside you and he made quick work of his tongue, not having any shame in making it messy. He groaned against you, an added pleasure he quickly could tell had an effect. 

Jungkook thought you were absolutely beautiful, so pretty and all for him. The sight had him quickly reminded of the fact he didn’t get to finish the way he wanted to in the car and how much he wanted to fuck you. His hips unconsciously collided with your mattress trying to chase some sort of pleasure. It hurt at this point but his attention remained on you. 

He saw you hastily pull down the straps of your dress to play with your tits, and one hand coming back to tangle in his hair. He felt the gentle tugs whenever it just felt so good and he could have died happy right there in that moment. Right between your thighs.

“Fuck, I’m so close–” You hastily cried out. Jungkook took the hint and took it up just a little more and it was more than enough to have you quickly spiraling toward the edge, your orgasm hitting you like a wave. Your body shook and your thighs clamped around his head. As you slowly came down from the experience he continued to devour you until you pushed him away slightly from overstimulation. 

He finally sat up, his face wet from your juices and a big smile on his face. You smiled back at him. Your eyes though quickly went from his face to the obvious tent in his shorts. Jungkook didn’t give you much time to think about it before he was back on top of you and hastily kissing your lips.

If you didn’t see it before you definitely could feel it now, the tip nudging right where you wanted him making you even more eager to finally feel him against you. But you had other plans first…

You made quick work of flipping you both over, leaving you on top and in control. He looked at you a little confused before you kissed him on his cheek, making him smile. 

“What are you doing?” He chuckled lightly as your kisses trailed back up to his lips. You kissed him with a heated passion, wanting him to know how much you loved him. Jungkook was quick to get in the groove, his hand coming up to cup your cheek and pull you closer while his other hand trailed down your back. 

You finally felt him reach the hem of your dress and attempted to try and pull it back up but you pulled away and looked him right in the eye. If he wasn’t confused before he definitely was now. 

You smiled at him and leaned so you were right next to his ear. 

“Not yet, let me repay the favor first.” You whispered and gently took his ear between your teeth before moving to his neck and sucking on it lightly. 

Jungkook was speechless for a little while, the pleasure your mouth was bringing made it hard to think, wanting to just get lost in the pleasure. 

“I don’t know…” He eventually chuckled, the grip on your waist tightening. You finally moved to look at him again. 

“What’s wrong?” You asked a little confused. 

“Wanna fuck you so bad, plus… you looked too good while I was eating you out. I don’t know if I could make it.” His face was flushed, clearly embarrassed by the confession. 

At this you smirked. Oh you were definitely going to repay him, not only for the orgasm but for teasing you earlier. 

You let your hand travel down his body till it rested on the waistband of his shorts. “You sure you wanna say no?” You questioned playfully as you slipped your hand underneath grabbing a fistful of his length. Your antics got an immediate reaction from him, a moan quickly escaping his lips. 

You made quick work and slowly pumped your hand slowly over his length, watching his face scrunch up in bliss. He was so fucking pretty. 

“I–” He couldn’t even finish his sentence as your thumb traced circles over the tip, you could already feel the precum leaking from the tip. 

“Y/n please…” he eventually cried out, making you smile. 

“Do you want me to stop?” You asked teasingly. 

“No, fuck– please.” He finally peered over at you and saw that teasing look, knowing this was probably because of earlier. 

With the go ahead you moved down the bed, helping him pull his shorts down and tossing them somewhere around your room. The both of you giggled before you found a comfortable place right in front of his cock. 

You stared marveling at what was in front you. His dick was already making your mouth water, the length, the girth, the slight curve, the tip was a flaming red, and precum sliding down the sides. Of course, what more should you have expected from him.

You wrapped a hand around him, right at the base. You wrapped your mouth around the tip, sucking it lightly, enjoying the delicious moan Jungkook let out as a result. You popped off quickly though, earning a groan of annoyance. 

“What happened to no teasing?” He questioned breathlessly. 

You just smiled at him before diving back again. You had every full intention of teasing him just a little longer, but you felt Jungkook’s hand on the back of your head, clearly intended to keep you in place. 

Oh so he wants to play like that?

At this you finally started to take more of him, getting about halfway before you let your hand do the rest of the work at quickly pumping him. You felt him grab your hair tightly and you’ll never forget the way he whimpered, clearly not expecting you to do that. 

It wasn’t long before he let go and you popped off with a smile. You won this time. 

“Y/n please.” No playfulness to his voice anymore, he was begging you. 

You couldn’t resist and you got back to work. You grabbed him again and pumped him quickly and got to work gently massaging his balls. At this you instantly had his arm coming over his eyes, a long groan falling from his lips. 

“Y/n oh fuck, fuck fu–” He was so fucking sensitive. 

He hadn’t been touched in a year, plus your little rendezvous in the car, and now here you were going down on him. Every little flick of your tongue or jerk from your hand had him speeding toward the edge, but he still wanted to take you. 

Your mouth came around him length once more, doing your best to make him feel good. Jungkook couldn’t resist looking, he finally glanced down at you and moaned instantly. You were taking him so well– fuck fuck. 

“Y/n…” He finally moaned. You could already sense what he was about to say. At this you sped up your pace. 

“Oh fuck, you feel so good– but– ohhhh” He cried, his hand coming up to grab at your hair again. 

“If you keep doing that I’m gonna–” He could have cried. The image of just cumming down your throat made him want to let you continue. 

He was so close. 

“Y/n I’m gonna cum…” He sighed, honestly a little embarrassed at how sensitive he was but you were just too good. 

His words didn’t sway you and if anything you upped it a little more. 

“Shit wait wait!” For a second he thought he wouldn’t even be able to tell you to stop, his orgasm so fucking close for a spilt second he wanted it to happen, but right along that edge you popped off and took your hands away. 

His body cried out at the lack of contact and he had to take a second to get himself to calm down. When his attention finally went to you, smiling up at him.

He couldn’t even joke around at that moment and sat up to pull you up so you were hovering over his cock.

“Please…” He was breathless and his desperation was starting to affect you. You pulled down the zipper on your dress and pulled it over your form, you also saw Jungkook hastily ripping off his white shirt and throwing it across the room.

He grabbed your hips and attempted to try and guide you down but you stopped him. He looked at you confused

“Condoms, remember?” You laughed and he did as well realizing his mistake.

“Please hurry…” He whined playfully, watching you reach over to your nightstand, shuffle through its contents, before pulling your hand out empty handed. He was once again confused.  

You stared at him in horror and it had him instantly wanting to commit a crime. “You don’t have any?” He asked in disbelief. You just stared at him.

He tugged on his hair in frustration. “Do you think that the convenience store down the street is still open?” He was trying to come up with some sort of solution. “I don’t even know if there are any in my room, do you think we can find some at this time of night, fuck fuck, why does this keep–” As he was trying to find a way at of this predicament you went back in your drawer and pulled out what he’s needed this entire evening.

“Just kidding~” You cheesed, watching the look on his face. If he wasn’t so horny right now he might have tackled you, but instead he laughed at your antics and he playfully rolled his eyes as gestured for you to put it on.

You ripped open the packaging with your teeth and hurriedly slid it down his length. He was so sensitive from earlier he made it difficult trying to put it on, bucking himself into your hand in search of any type of friction. 

Once you managed to get it on, you wasted no time and lined yourself up before sinking slowly down his dick, enjoying the way he filled you up. 

You both moaned at the feeling. Jungkook hurriedly grabbed your hips at the pleasure. You were so warm, wet, and tight around him, you felt so good and looked so pretty on top of him like this. Oh this isn’t gonna last long.

You sat there for a second, allowing your body to get adjusted but you could tell Jungkook was antsy at the way he subtly ground himself into you for some sort of friction. 

“Y/n– fuck, you’re so–” He cried and you chuckled at his reaction. 

“Does it feel good?” You asked. 

Jungkook just smiled at first, wondering how that was even a question at first. “So go– engghhh fuck…” He sighed as you slowly started to move your hips. You watched him intently as his face scrunched up and you felt the way his grip on your waist tightened. 

With new motivation you finally allowed yourself to get lost in the pleasure and just enjoyed the way he felt inside of you, steadily speeding up your pace.

Jungkook just stared up at you. Ever since he met you he never would have imagined himself in this position, you on top while you worked to please him so well. Yesterday he was so adamant he felt nothing but platonic feelings for you and today… He had spent so much time trying to lie to himself, if only he had been honest with himself from the get go you could have done this so much sooner. 

His heart swelled at the thought. He was so stupid. How could he have tried to tell himself he didn’t want this? You bouncing yourself happily on his cock, looking so pretty while you took him so well. Fuck, he was so happy. 

With the way you teased him earlier it didn’t take very much for him to feel that ache once again. Jungkook grabbed your hips and took control, he watched your face turn to one of shock before you melted into the new pace he was setting.

You moaned and he could have sworn he’s never heard such a beautiful sound. He wanted to please you, make you feel good, and in a weird way, repay you for all you’ve done for him. 

“Jungkook, shit, hghhh–” You cried.

Fuck he was close. 

Before you even knew what was happening, suddenly you were on your back, staring Jungkook right in the eye. 

He was quick to set a punishing pace, you could have screamed at the sudden pleasure. Jungkook buried himself in your neck and you could hear all the little grunts and moans he would let out and it was almost too much. So good, you were getting close.

Jungkook could certainly tell, the feeling of your walls gripping him even tighter– fuck. He couldn’t take it anymore. He kissed you sloppily, wanted to feel you even closer. You wrapped your arms around his neck moaning into the kiss, sensing what was happening. 

It didn’t take much time till he was pulling away and burying his head back in your shoulder, a glorious moan spilling from his lips. A wave of pleasure washed over him as you felt his hips still and his whole body shake lightly.

You rubbed his back softly as you helped him work through it. 

You thought this was the end of your game, but you were shocked. Jungkook immediately turned to your nightstand, opening up and shuffling through the top drawer. 

“What are you doing?” You asked breathlessly. 

It was almost immediately that you got your answer when he pulled out another condom. “I’m not done with you yet.” He said as ripped open the packaging with his teeth. 

You were left stunned as you watched him swiftly throw away the used condom and put on a new one, before quickly pushing himself back inside you once more. 

You saw the way his face scrunched up, likely at the pain of overstimulation. His pace was slow, but he continued with deep strokes that made it so he was hitting your clit each and every time, making your toes curl.  

Oh so he was a freak?

For some reason you knew this wasn’t the first time he’s done this. You should have known the way he nearly fucked you out in public in that parking garage. 

Jungkook’s full intention was to make you feel good. He was quick to get back at a moderate pace and then he turned his attention to kissing and sucking on your neck, making sure it was going to leave a mark. 

As much as he wanted to pretend that the rage he felt in the club watching you and Jimin together was far in the past, now that everything was all said, it fueled him even more to want to tell everyone that you were his and his alone.

And just to think, if things didn’t go the way they did his hyung would have probably been in this position… Just the thought of him seeing you like this pissed him off more than it should. 

He wanted to prove himself, that you made the right choice. 

Jungkook was eager to make you cum around him, he needed to feel it. The breathy moans you would let out motivated him, you were so fucking pretty.

Jungkook looked you right in the eyes as he fucked you. Oh you were close. 

“I love you.” He moaned quietly. Oh you were a mess, three little words were enough to send you to another dimension. 

“You feel so fucking good and all fucking mine.” Jungkook groaned, fucking you a little faster. 

For some reason Jungkook getting all possessive while he’s buried deep inside you was so hot, the feeling in the pit of your stomach growing more restless. 

“Jungkook, please, I’m so close.” You cried. 

The pleasurable sting from overstimulation made that fleeting feeling return all too soon for Jungkook as well so he made quick work of finally pushing the both of you over the edge. 

“I love you too, Jungkook, love you so much.” Jungkook had no idea if you said that just because you were close, but the confession was enough for his orgasm to come crashing over him, not once did he slow down though, if anything he went a little faster. 

His efforts were enough as with just a few more strokes you moaned and he was feeling your walls tightening around him. He watched intently, now with the better light, he saw the way you crumbled in his grasp, so pretty as your third orgasm of the day hit you even harder. 

For a little while, it was just the sound of your labored breaths as you both tried to recover from everything. It was peaceful, almost like the calm after a storm. After the exhausting year you’ve both had, it finally led to this moment, together in each other's arms at last. When you both calmed down, Jungkook smiled as he kissed you gently, you couldn’t be happier. 

He was quick to throw away the condom and snuggle up next to you. A moment of silence passed before you both giggled. 

“This day was something…” You smiled. 

“It was, wasn’t it.” Jungkook responded absentmindedly, too busy tracing your features with his gaze. 

You both still didn’t say anything for a while, choosing to let the events of today speak for you. Jungkook was just so enamored by you, happy that everything finally made sense, happy that he was able to be with you like this. For some reason it had his mind going back to the previous year.

The newly revealed sentiment of how much you truly cared for each other made him think back to the dark days and how you helped him through it all. Without you, would he really be here today? You really were there for him, never once asking any questions. As soon as he told you he was struggling, you never left his side and helped him navigate through the path that seemed so endless. 

Even to this day he never really explained himself and you never asked what happened.  

“Hey Y/n.” He finally said, getting you attention. “Last year… I don’t think I ever told you what I was really going through during those months, did I?” He asked suddenly. 

You were a bit taken aback by the question but you answered nonetheless. “Not in much detail.” You noticed his gaze changed from you to peer straight up at the ceiling.

He took a deep breath. “I want to tell you what happened...” It only seemed right, before you take this next step in your relationship, all the cards from his past he kept hidden from you should be laid on the table for you to see. 

He was scared though. Would you still want him after he tells you? 

“Is that ok?” He turned back to you, his gaze unreadable. 

You couldn’t lie and say you weren’t curious. On the day Jungkook told you he had been struggling you knew he was keeping the details as vague as he possibly could, for a reason you had no idea about. You didn’t want to pry, you knew that he had gone through a lot over the last few months so you were content with him telling you anything. All you knew was your friend needed help and you were going to be there for him through that process. 

“If you’re comfortable telling me, I’ll be here to listen,” you settled with saying. 

Jungkook noticed the look in your eyes that told him it was truly fine for him to continue. 

Would you hate him, ridicule him, shame him? All of these were outcomes he wanted to avoid. It’s why he didn’t tell you back then. He was ashamed of himself. 

“At the end of our first semester as you know Yoona and I had a big fight. It all had to deal with you, funny enough. She was upset at how close we were, the fact that we lived together, and that she thought I could have been cheating on her with you. At the time I was upset that she even thought that was a possibility, I was with her, you were my friend and that was it.” Jungkook had to pause for a second knowing the irony of the situation.

You couldn’t hide the look of shock on your face at the information. You thought you were just so drunk that you had somehow heard your name come up in conversation. It had been about you entirely. It stung a bit to know that you had gotten in the way of their relationship like that, but the one detail you did know about this story made that guilt dissipate quickly. 

“We said some pretty hurtful things to each other, with her eventually leaving and that’s when you came in. I really liked her at the time so I wanted to do my best to try and repair the damage that had been done, but when I saw her… when I went to her apartment and saw she was actually cheating on me, it really really hurt.”  Jungkook didn’t even have the words to describe how much pain the revelation brought him. For a while he blamed himself, that he was such an awful boyfriend, an awful person, that it led a girl he would have never in a million years thought would ever do something like that to him, to anybody really. It only made the next unfortunate event even harder to bear. 

“I can only say this now in hindsight, but I didn’t understand at the time how much I relied on her. My mental health wasn’t the best for various reasons, a difficult semester taking its toll, life, I don’t really know the root cause but as soon as I knew she was cheating on me, it all came crashing down harder than I thought it ever could. I shut everyone out, it was too much, but if it couldn’t get any worse I got a phone call from my dad about my uncle.” You could hear the slight quiver in his voice, just at the mention of it. 

You remember the exact moment it happened. You had just woken up. You had been in the kitchen trying to figure out what to have before you head out to your first class. It was nearly the end of the final semester, finals were coming up and you had a whole day of studying planned. Despite your packed schedule, you had also wanted to have enough time to try and be there for Jungkook since he had just gone through a pretty rough breakup, you having gone to bed early as a result. It’s probably why you didn’t hear when he got the phone call late the night before.

You had been making a little breakfast when he suddenly came bursting through his room door, a duffle bag slung over his shoulder. You noticed immediately he looked frantic, his face was red, and you could see his cheeks were still stained from tears. He looked like he hadn’t slept all night. 

Jungkook ran straight to the door, but you stopped him concerned and a little confused about what was happening. 

He was barely able to explain to you that his uncle had been in an accident and that he was going back to Busan, tears just were streaming down his face. Without thinking you had pulled him into a hug, Jungkook completely just broke down in your arms. 

He was out the door before you truly could say goodbye. 

“I went back to Busan and tried my best to process everything, hoping that this sinking feeling would pass and I could get back to some level of normalcy. Weeks started to go by and all I could feel was nothing. I didn’t cry anymore, I wasn’t angry, nor was I ever truly happy, it was just gray everywhere I looked.”

“Christmas came and went and the new year started. All of those holidays only made it worse, seeing how happy friends and other family were, the fact that it was just nothing made me even more desperate for anything.”

Jungkook had to stop again, knowing what was coming next. 

“It was around the time we were supposed to start heading back for the spring semester that some friends had called me and asked to meet up. We talked and I ended up telling them things have been hard lately so they invited me to a party to try and cheer me up. I was desperate so I said I’d be there, hoping it might help me feel anything. I drank a lot, tried to have fun, but again things just became worse when nothing helped.” 

He couldn’t even look at you anymore.  

“They invited me to another one, this time I thought maybe sex might help, it didn’t, not at all and left me feeling more empty than ever. It was sometime after this that I started having some pretty scary thoughts bouncing around my head.” It truly had gotten so bad so quickly. The depression had quickly consumed him and any effort he made to try and make things better only seemed to make things worse. He felt trapped, that there was no way out of this hole. 

“I was desperate for anything at that point so when those same friends called and asked to meet up again… this time… this time they offered certain um… illegal substances. I should have said no, I know, but I was looking for anything to make it better so…” For some reason Jungkook was waiting for you to say something, to scream at him, anything, but you remained silent as his words hung in the air. 

He didn’t have the courage to face you to see your expression. Instead he kept going. 

“It wasn’t perfect, but for a little while I finally felt ok, better than ok even, but the crash was horrible and I felt the regret starting to take hold. It was only once when I was in Busan, but by then the semester had started and I needed to get back. That’s when I came back to the apartment. I wanted to tell you everything but then you opened the door and I saw Incheol with you… I didn’t understand why at the time, but seeing you with him… It made me so angry so I just shut everyone out.”

“Before I left my friends gave me the number of a friend they had in Seoul who carried and so instead of focusing on my work that I should have I turned to chasing that high and dealing with an even worse low. I stayed out as much as I could, I didn’t want to see you with Incheol, plus I was ashamed what would happen if you saw me like that. I didn’t want you to see me like that.” Your eyes were teary and his was as well, a couple had even begun sliding down his cheeks. 

“Jimin hyung saw the worst of it actually. Too many times would I head over on something and he would yell at me but he would always help me through it. I was also at his place a lot dealing with sober thoughts and he kept my mind occupied so I wouldn’t do anything rash.”

“It wasn’t until that day I got the message from my advisor telling me how bad everything was that I snapped out of it enough to try and look for help. That’s when I told you. Besides the work you helped with, you were just being there for me without asking too many questions… It was more sympathy I deserved considering how weird things had been since I left. You brought me back and I can never be more grateful.” It was only then that Jungkook finally looked over at you, your face was stained with tears and you were trying your best not to make too much noise so you didn’t disturb his story. 

“I mentioned this now because being here… I should have known after all that what I felt for you was more than just being my best friend. I didn’t want to lose you so I tried to push away the obvious and tried to just keep being just your friend. I’m so happy I can be here with you now, like this, together. And I wanted to thank you for the millionth time, you pulled me out of a dark place that I never thought I was going to come back from. I’m just so happy.” He tried to chuckle but seeing you crying made this difficult discussion that much more emotional.

It felt so good telling you. 

You quickly pulled him into a hug, finally letting the emotions spill over. 

“I wish I was there for you more, you struggled so much I– I–” You sobbed, absolutely heartbroken that he went through this. “If only I had noticed, if I wasn’t so focused on Incheol I could have–” 

“Don’t say that. You were happy, I didn’t want to burden you with my problems.” Jungkook said, trying to wipe away your tears.

“Burden?! Jungkook, I was your friend, don’t think you would ever burden me.” You sobbed, the tears continuing to stream down your face, making more and more go down his as well.

“Fuck, I love you so much, of course you would say that.” There were no words in any language to accurately describe how much he cares for you and how he will eternally be grateful for being there with him. 

You both smiled and Jungkook reached over to grab some tissues to wipe your faces. You both tried to make light of the situation and giggle at how messed up you truly were. Between the sex and now the crying your makeup had smeered all over your face. 

“Jungkook, truly though. If you ever go through any sort of hard time again know I’ll be here for you ok.” You reassured him.

“If you ever go through a rough time, I’ll be here for you and then some.” He smiled. 

“Don’t be afraid to lean on me, life gets hard but at least we have each other.” You leaned in to kiss his cheek, but he moved to make sure you hit his lips instead. 

You both laughed, but quickly went back in for another.

“You actually can’t get rid of me.” Jungkook giggled as he started peppering kisses all over your face.

“And I don’t want to.” It was just love, you loved this man. 

“By the way, I wanted to ask whose room should we stay in? Should we just get a new apartment?” Jungkook questioned, kissing down your neck.

You thought about it for a second.

“We could move after graduation. We could figure something out so that it’s a little closer to my law school, or maybe something closer to your job, whichever one you decide to take.” 

Jungkook was pretty talented in his field, over the years managing to work as assistants for camera operators and editors in movies and various kdramas. He already had a promising resume. He worked a ton of jobs, did various commissions for friends, peers, even his school had him shoot something. He also was working some type of internship most of the time, the only time you can remember him not working was when he was going through that hard time. 

It was certainly going to be impressive to the production companies. With all the jobs he applied for, Jungkook’s professors and advisor assured him that he was bound at least to make it to the interview stage and was probably going to end up with multiple offers. 

His achievements were certainly amazing, but he had a tendency to downplay them.   

Jungkook nodded, the plan made sense. “For now though, you could move to my room. It’s a little bigger, maybe you could keep your clothes in your closet, but you could sleep here most of the time if you want.” You added. He just nodded along, until his brain actually processed what you were saying.

“What, aren’t our rooms the same size?” He recounted what you told him all those years ago once you decided to move here. 

You cringed at the mention of that. “5 extra square feet makes you do some crazy things.” You chuckled weakly. 

“Yah wait– what did you just say?!” 

“You never noticed!” You tried to defend but it was too late and he was already tackling you back down to the bed. 

Was he mad, not at all, if anything this was just an excuse to get you in this position. It’s strange what a year does to your libido. He couldn’t get enough of you. 

Jungkook kissed you all over your face and neck, making you laugh at the way it tickled. 

“I love you.” He said between kisses. 

“I love you too.” You made sure to look him in the eyes when he said it. You wanted him to know how much you meant it.

You were so happy. 

[jess-the-vampire]

I genuinely don't understand the gripes a few people have with how Belos was handled in the finale. "Dont just brush him off as being evil" Well, why the fuck not? Dude wasnt born evil but he purposefully chose destruction and death at every possible opportunity for 400+ years. Nothing about his backstory would have made any impact on the characters affected, because its not an excuse, its not even an explanation! Caleb had the same childhood and he loved the Boiling isles. Eat boots Belos.

Ok, buckle up cause this is gonna be a long one, we gotta have a chat about Belos as a character, because there's been so many takes about this i keep seeing about " he never accepted the isles the way luz did" and "He had 400 years to change and he never took the took the offer", because it just seems like the fandom wants to kinda ignore a lot of the nuance about his situation and why it's not that simple?

and i'm for sure certain it's because the fandom is obviously already pretty biased against him since he's the villain, and what he does to the main characters as well as represents.

And that's fine, obviously he becomes a pretty bad person, no one is obligated to like him and it's ok to feel uncomfortable given the character he is.

But i think a lot of these issues as to why people have such mixed opinions about the finale has a lot to do directly with the fact the show DID keep his backstory as vague as they did, when if they had gone into it i think we would've had less of this discourse.

Now none of this is me excusing him obviously, but the fandom is very adamant to just not allow him to have depth either, when....he's allowed to be irredeemable and have depth at the same time. He's meant to be a very human villain, a character that could happen to anyone under the right circumstances

So not exploring that depth, why it got how it did, and how things like it can be prevented is a flaw within the show and among a lot of fans.

And to be fair, the show does not HAVE to do it, but the show also clearly wrote his character to have a lot of implied depth whether people like it or not, him coming from a very real religious group alone and making him a foil to luz has turned what could of been a very one note villain into one with a lot of layers to his villainy.

And if the show wants to make belos a very one note villian, no depth, they could of very easily done this by just cutting out details like his love and care for his brother, or just make make him want to destroy witches simply because he decided on his own they were worth destroying.

But that's not exactly what they've presented belos as being.

The show thrives in having characters who aren't just simple nor cookie cutter.

Hunter isn't just some cocky sidekick, he's an abused teenager who craves love and affection, and is willing to go high and low to earn it, terrified to be thrown away and replaced and constantly is forced into a mold just to get the affection he craves. He's highly sheltered and isolated just because his father figure doesn't want him to be his own person since that wasn't what he was created for

King isn't just a tiny little brat who craves power, he's a child whose been lied to about his past, and he wanted nothing more then to be taken seriously and feel a sense of belonging. He believes that he wants power, but finds out he really only wanted to be treated like anyone else, and that he's far happier with a family that loves and cares about him rather then being a powerful demon king.

Lilith isn't just a self important antagonist who wants to force eda to do what she wants, she grew up close to her sister and wanting to be by her side well into the future, but felt a sense of inadequacy in comparison to eda. The pressures of the coven system and need to win against her sister made her make a drastic choice she regrets and she wants nothing more then to fix it and make everything the ideal fantasy they grew up wanting to have together. She's also a large nerd, craves the attention of higher figures since her own mother used to put all the attention on eda, and changed her appearance just so people would take her seriously.

And the show does this with most of it's cast, obvi there's the exception like tibbles and even bosha who don't have too much to them, but they're also very minor antagonists and there's still stuff you can pick up on.

Belos however is the main antagonist, everything that happens in the show, happens because of him, his entire backstory is basically why the plot of the show happens.

Not just that, but also caleb and evelyn, if it weren't for the drama between these three, there would be no show.

And people are WELL aware these three aren't the main leads, they aren't going to be the main focus of most episodes and obviously the show was going to end in the favor of the main characters.

But

the story the show tells between these three ties very strongly into the ones with the leads too. We are given at least enough details to notice parallels between stuff that happens with characters like luz, and characters like philip.

We know philip and luz grew up in gravesfield, we know there were outcasts there, and they had one family member they relied on to support them there. They ended up in the demon realm, they both learned magic, and they both are strongly motivated by their beliefs regarding the isles.

So there's a lot they share in common, which makes it really easy to take a look at philip and say "Well it's his fault for not being like luz and accepting the isles like she did".

But, there's a lot of differences here

Luz grew up with fantasy, with magic stories about witches and heroes and demons. Philip grew up in a 1600s puritan village which demonized this stuff, he was a young child growing up being told this stuff was evil and he was taught to fight against it.

Luz felt odd for her interests and out there personality but at worst she felt isolated and misunderstood, she didn't like her mom's efforts to change her to be "Normal". Philip actually conformed to gravesfield, caleb clearly encouraging his brother to do so, just so both of them could fit in with the town. Had they not conformed at best they'd be isolated, but at worst they'd be dead.

Camilia is an adult who eventually opens up and talks to luz about how it was wrong to try and change her to be "Normal", that she herself hid her own interests to do so.

Caleb, was a child, he did not have any open conversations with his younger brother. Caleb hid evelyn and his interests with witches from philip and then on top of this, left philip behind.

You could absolutely say the fact caleb didn't talk to philip is pure speculation, and not confirmed at all. That all of this could be summed up to unreliable narrators.

But we know caleb left for the isles before philip did, we know it took time for philip to find him again (because his beard grew out), we know caleb had a wife who seems to be pregnant, that he was introducing philip to (Implying he not only hasn't seen philip in awhile, but that eve and philip have never met to caleb) and all of that alone feeds into the fact caleb left him behind to start another life. This is all shown in his memories alone, stuff we can't chalk up to unreliable narrators.

So the most logical conclusion to come to is caleb left philip to start a new family, we don't have a lot of details as to if caleb ever planned to return, if caleb had good reasons to do what he did, or much about his mindset.

But we have enough to know Philip loved and looked up to caleb, that he relied on caleb, and caleb lied and left him.

There is again, reason to tie this back to camila and luz.

but this is not a child leaving a parent behind, this is a parental figure leaving a child behind.

This is what i mean by the issue being lack of clear answers, people claim caleb left when philip was an adult, but we actually have no confirmed evidence for this. We have enough of philip's memories to know 2 things, that he was still a teenager when caleb was meeting evelyn, and he was an adult when he arrived.

You could argue philip was an adult by the time caleb left, but it's so vauge you can also argue caleb left when philip was a child and philip didn't figure out his way to the demon realm till adulthood and there's not enough proof to go one way or another.

now titan dad says philip had no genuine reasons for his actions, that he did this all for glory, but as steve put it back in OTWAT, the titan is just a guy.

And given the collector situation, he can make mistakes and screw up just like anyone else.

Titan dad only sees what he can see and make observations based on what he sees. He saw a human come to the isles with a bias already against witches, who ended up killing his brother, who claimed to come here to save others and that's all he's going to see philip as being. Someone who wants to save others but just hurts them instead.

He has no reason to know what philip grew up under, nor does he have reason to know philip and caleb's story before they arrived. There's no denying philip did love caleb, and that they were close, but that caleb leaving him behind for witches drove them apart.

I think the problem ppl even have with what titan dad says is purely because the fans take it at face value, because let's be honest, most fans will believe the objective heroes for what they assume over the villians. And since the show again, leaves philip's story vauge, and never puts it in the main focus, people will just assume what titan dad says must be the truth.

Like yes, you can pick up on these details if you are paying attention, but most people won't do that, so a lot of fans will listen to the god telling them what philip's motivations are coming from rather then put together the sense of betrayal from caleb that hurt philip that most of the evidence is actually pointing to.

philip had no parents, and had no one but caleb as far as we can tell, and then caleb left him too, like he didn't want him anymore.

And he left him in a bigoted town, alone.

the damage this could of done if he was a child is pretty darn bad, and for philip to assume this happened because of a witch means reinforcing everything he's been taught about witches.

Caleb lied about his changes, so when caleb sees him again, caleb seems to be a different person, which does fit with what philip says to luz about the isles "Brainwashing people".

tho you can argue that that's not the truth, that philip knows caleb did it on purpose and killed him for betraying him, cause of how he blames him in episodes like FTF.

But again, this is the result of leaving things vague, because either situation is plausible.

it's plausible philip never intended to kill caleb at all and he died as the result of trying to protect eve because the show says he was trying to target evelyn to save caleb, and it's plausible he died on purpose out of philip's rage for caleb leaving him. Because guess what? That means caleb had the means to go see him and could've seen him but made the choice NOT to, so yeah, that's pretty heartbreaking.

again, this also comes into play regarding Philips's guilt.

People objectively keep saying philip HAS no guilt regarding caleb, but we have evidence for both guilt and non guilt.

Now, sure, his portrait of dead caleb implies philip is not guilty for his death based on his expression after the fact. We also have the fact philip shows distain towards the grimwalkers, that he never outright expresses he feels bad to anyone.

But, we also have caleb's death being treated as one of philip's worst memories in KT that he objectively recalls in horror, he says he "Tried" to save caleb in FTF, which implies he wanted to save him and that he's mad he didn't manage to do so. The grimwalkers and caleb could be seen as ghosts, but also as hallucinations, and if you are seeing them as the latter then it makes sense he'd be seeing them out of some level of guilt towards having them killed.

If the show had these details explained more fully, it would be easy to either deem belos as being a murderous dick with no remorse who thinks killing was the right thing, or as a guilt ridded stubborn murderer who wants to not acknowledge he was wrong and screwed up.

it's why people are split, because you could objectively choose to see him both ways and the ending will affect you differently depending on what you picked up on.

But now let's talk about philip not changing, because people have bashed him for not doing so in the 400 years he's been there and that he had opportunities to do so but didn't.

And i think this is half right, half wrong.

Philip came to the isles with biases, he basically grew up in a cult, he came in thinking he was traveling into hell to go find caleb. Caleb encouraged his hatred, and then his hatred got further pushed when caleb seemed to be kidnapped, and then further pushed when he was surrounded by nothing but bigots.

So this man was already on a bad foot compared to luz, who was here to live out the fantasy books she grew up on, and objectively would have no reason to hate or fear witches nearly as much.

And we do know while the BI can be compassionate, it also has it's issues, even luz faced discrimination for being human herself while on the isles. Being powerless there is well, not great, it's why luz had to figure out her own way to do things alongside everyone else.

And the Bi ARE dangerous, especially for humans, so it's at least understandable philip is not going to just show up and look past the flesh eating plants, the evil weather, and the lack of anything he can even objectively eat.

Now philip could of considered things outside of his bias, and made the effort to try and look at things from a new perspective. But we also have to acknowledge that it's not easy to come out of this long time brainwashing either, and that it takes time and help to do so.

And philip, didn't seem to have that.

Yes, caleb grew up the same way, but not only was he older, which already set him up to question things more. But he had evelyn, he had someone to challenge him and his views and change his mind.

Philp, doesn't have that, there is no confirmation anyone ever really chose to challenge his views or make him realize he was following a lie.

Caleb could of but caleb left.

All we see is philip, isolated, following the beliefs he was taught and being hostile to witches, and witches rightfully being hostile back, which just further is feeding into his bias.

You can assume philip had chances to change but didn't, but there's no real strong evidence of that being offered to him either. That any witch ever tried to make him question anything.

It's pure speculation.

Now Philip is a stubborn ass dude for sure, so yeah, we can claim he just simply didn't want to consider it.

But people are claiming Philip was shown help that he didn't take and that's just not true. We never see anyone asking him to do the right thing or making him question things, at least not compassionately.

no one to our knowledge ever did challenge him, or did reach out to him, not even in the show itself.

Luz is rightfully hostile towards him even when trying to challenge him, hunter does attempt to try and come up with helpful ideas but he would silence himself if his uncle didn't like it (Not to mention the existing fact that he is supposed to be a caleb replacement so his existence comes from philip not wanting him to change or question things philip thinks caleb should not), and well....collector giving him a hug isn't gonna do anything at that point to stop him from thinking the worst of the isles.

This is partially because belos has the power in scenes, that if he hears what he doesn't want to hear he can quickly silence the individual and ignore it.

He's basically put in situations where no one is challenging him and if they are, they're usually doing it with distain and he's responding like a dick right back.

So maybe not much could of been done when belos has become emperor, outside of some rare occurrences where he has no choice but to listen or if he was challenged by someone he respected and would be less willing to hurt. Maybe he's too far gone to back out now and has too much power to even allow himself to consider what anyone had to say, even if they did do it kindly and wouldn't face his wrath.

but he was only emperor for 50 years too.

So ok, what about before that?

Well, yeah, maybe there were chances he could of been, but that's a period of time we only see so much of, and none of it shows one way or the other that Philip was offered the chance to improve.

I think had we gotten a scene of philip being offered a chance to do good, to consider things, that he knew he was wrong and still rejected it, it would back up this whole "Philip made the choice to not get better" thing people claim.

but truth is, it's speculation, we don't know.

A guy who spent his life buying into where he grew up and came in with biases that became a cycle of him being terrible and witches reinforcing what he thought isn't just suddenly going to change his mind and be nice now on a whim unless those biases are challenged in a way he can't deny.

it's on him for not considering looking on things outside of his bias for sure, but people seem to think doing that is simple and easy and it's really not.

Philip had no evelyn, he was left with no one but his bias and stubborn mind.

It's like king said back in hollow mind " People don't want to believe they've been following the wrong person their whole lives", and philip didn't have a luz like hunter did to help him realize how wrong he really was.

Instead it got worse and worse.

This is why philip feels real, because this can happen to people, that they can grow up with hate and never receive the help they needed to pull them out of the mindset. So they get worse, they become worse people.

and we can argue philip didn't deserve the chance to get better, but you'll never know if you don't try and we don't know if anyone did try before he was too far gone.

to think all of this could of been avoided if caleb actually spoke to his brother and gave him the chance to change...

Tying this all back to the beginning-

Philip's story ties into luz, they are foils in a lot of ways, but people need to remember they have differences outside of luz being a good person and philip being a bad person. Those differences make them into the people they are.

That luz was set up to love the isles in a way philip was set up to come in with a bias against it.

That it is not as simple as "Philip should of just got better" given what happened to him and the lack of help he had.

That philip never really is objectively shown to be offered genuine chances to reconsider his views on the show as much as people keep claiming so, and it's mostly all assumption at this point.

That so much of this argument over whether he's one way or the other could of been fixed if the show hadn't kept things vague.

By doing so, it leaves a lot for interpretation about him and therefore means people will have different views on what he thinks and feels and therefore will have different views on how his death should of been handled.

Caleb and philip tie into camila and luz, they tie into the clawthrone sisters, they are the basis for the plot of the series, they tie into hunter and the themes of being understood and being honest about yourself and conformity and it is no wonder people care about them.

It is incredibly valid if anyone expecting this story, that tied into the plot so hard ,as well as the themes, was upset it felt unexplained or dropped in the finale.

Especially since the fandom, with an obvious hatred for belos, responded to it by treating titan dad's word as god and simplifies philip's story completely despite everything i just mentioned here.

It is perfectly fine if you are not someone who cares about belos, but the people who do are perfectly allowed to be bothered that the show itself kept the complexity vague and not addressed and none of it mattered when it came to how his arc ended.

And that the only person who properly gives a personal opinion of what he thinks his motives are, simplifies him to being evil, and the fandom roles with that and the show never tries to do much to prove otherwise despite the evidence.

because this is a fascinating story about how conformity and bigotry can drive two close brothers apart and it feels like a story the show should of at least dedicated more of an episode to.

Especially since there's no clear idea if we'll ever get extra toh content to really tie any of this up.

Again, none of this excuses belos/philip for what he did, does, or tries to do, no amount of his life being screwed over and people treating him bad and not reaching out to him will ever excuse the fact he went so far.

But let's also just, not pretend it was an easy fix either, that someone can just....stop believing what they believe with the drop of a hat.

Especially given how this can reflect real people who are made into people like this.

He is nuanced, and people are attached to this villain for good reasons.

Nothing is simple about him, and it's just a product of how the show has handled his character.

[vanilladrizzlequeen]

i’m sorry but AITST Ozai is kinda hilarious

why’s he look so dumb 😭

never in a billion years did i think i would say Ozai looks like a good dad but I’m sorry him and Ursa and Azula are kinda really adorable together

and honestly that’s the sad part- this is what it looked like to Azula; to her, at least as a child, he wasn’t the horrible evil man Zuko saw- he was her dad and he loved her. It’s made clear to us viewers that it’s her power he loved, not her, but how was little Azula supposed to see that? It was for her hard to see how much he manipulated her emotions, and that even shows plenty when she’s her normal age in the show. Even after the betrayal from Ty and Mai, she still falls for what might have looked like a simple lie, but was her truth: when Ozai kicks her off of the trip to conquer the world, and tells her that guarding the fire nation is a “very important job” and that he’s making her the fire lord. Obviously the title of firelord means absolutely nothing when Phoenix King Ozai’s ruling the world, but she couldn’t see that, because he raised her in a world of lies.

Ok damn i did NOT mean to turn this into an Ozai rant my bad-

back to previously scheduled programming

like i personally love this art style on him but it’s kinda hard to look at him and go “wow phoenix king so powerful so abusive” (disclaimer I know he was an absolutely awful character and as an Azula stan i hate his guts but this is a joke post lol)

[mlmxreader]

I'm not gonna be in the Call Of Duty fandom anymore, well, the MW fandom. at least not fully, and I will explain, but first and foremost I want to clarify: I'm NOT leaving tumblr entirely & I'm NOT gonna back down either from my previous statements. So, allow me to begin as to why I'm making this decision.

The rape, incest, pedo and animal abuse pornography

Quite frankly, as someone who has been through rape and child sexual abuse, I find it ABHORRENT that anyone would ever look at such abuses and decide to fetishise, romanticise and glorify these things. I do not care nor want to know your "justifications" because frankly there aren't any. As a survivor, I am aware that the fandom is malicious and nasty towards people like me; I am aware that you people willingly and HAPPILY engage with such harmful, disgusting material. Quite honestly, I could not name a space more dedicated to the harassment, malicious treatment and utterly disgusting behaviour towards these topics and the people who openly disagree with them.

The racism

Before you tell me "Call Of Duty fans have always been racist", I am aware of that. But I'm talking specifically about the niche fandom (because it is niche). The fandom treats Black and Brown characters utterly abhorrently; from turning Gaz into a stereotype through to fetishising Farah and everything in between, the fandom's racism is progressively getting WORSE - and then x reader writers (who are predominantly white) only add to that by purposefully and willfully excluding Black and Brown people from fandom altogether. The racism within this space makes it clear that anybody who is NOT white is NOT welcome, and frankly, I do not wish to be associated with such disgusting people. To treat Black people as tokens, to purposefully KICK people of colour out of fandom - it's disgraceful and I hope that everybody is ashamed of themselves.

The ableism and saneism

The Call Of Duty fandom is NOT a safe place for anyone who has a psychotic, schizospec, dissociative or personality disorder. Plain and simple. From the colloquial usage of mental health terms such as "delusional", through to the "jokes" which are made to trigger people with such disorders (e.g. "in your walls"), and to the casual usage of anti-psychotic slurs like "psycho" and "schizo", it's obvious to anyone with just one quick look that this fandom sees people with such disorders as either their punching bags, their "memes" or worse: not human at all. And this also translates to fanworks, as quite honestly, I'm tired of seeing the same treatment directed towards characters like Nikto, because it shows that you people do not care about us at all. We aren't human to you, and we never will be. We are not even worth CONSIDERING when it comes to offensive language - it's degrading, it's dehumanising and it's exhausting to have to constantly walk away from fanworks that are so obviously made with malicious intent.

The homophobia

I am a bisexual/pansexual/omnisexual/queer/whatever you wanna call it man, and the amount of homophobia in the Call Of Duty fandom is disgusting. No, bisexual men AREN'T your "uwu bby boy so soft such a bottom bitch!!". You perpetuating homophobic stereotypes for the sake of a ship is utterly and completely and truly vile. How dare you claim to support LGBTQIA+/queer people when you KNOWINGLY perpetuate these stereotypes? When you KNOWINGLY engage in homophobic behaviour. You are scum.

The antisemitism and islamophobia

This is a touchy subject for non-religious folk, but I really wish you lot would all leave religious people alone. It takes you two seconds to look up what Muslims and Jews believe in and act accordingly. It takes you two seconds to NOT open your mouth when Muslims and Jews talk about their headcanons of characters being religious - because what gives you the right? Why do you feel so comfortable to shut down religious people's headcanons of characters? "Oh, he can't be Jewish because he's English", English Jews exist. "Oh, he can't be Muslim because he's Scottish", Scottish Muslims exist. These people exist in real life, and you saying that a character CANNOT be a Muslim or a Jew because of where they come from is little more than antisemitism and Islamophobia. Do better.

The apathy

When I say "the apathy", I mean exactly that. It is exhausting having to call out these horrid things time and time again and then see people WILLINGLY ignoring blatant bigotry by brushing it off and saying "I don't want to get involved in drama", as if somebody being a bigot is akin to a quarrel between two friends, or a disagreement between two people. If you aren't willing to address genuine harm ONLINE, then I'm sorry, but I doubt you would do anything OFFLINE either. If you're boiling things that actually harm people down to "drama", then I'm sorry, but you can't expect to be considered a safe person for people to be open with and to be honest with when it comes to their mental health or to their triggers. It's that simple. Your apathy towards your fellow man is blatant, and I cannot in good conscience continue to rub shoulders with such people.

Going forward

I'm not going to be engaging with MOST of the content within the Call Of Duty fandom - whether that's edits, fanfic, fanart, etc. I'm not. I've got a few mutuals who I've decided I WILL continue reading from or looking at their art or whatever, but for the most part, I'm not going to be active within the Call Of Duty fandom. I will continue writing for SOME of the characters, but my list of who I write for will be drastically reduced to just a few select characters. If somebody asks me "hey, is X thing saneist?" then of course I'll answer. If somebody points out to me that I took a request from someone who follows a rape pornographer, then I will delete that request and that fanfic entirely. I will still be happy to talk about the characters & games, but it will only be WHEN ASKED, and I will continue to use my DNI (although I'm going to change it a little so that the rape porn viewers/readers know I don't want them near me).

Of course, if anyone requires further clarification on anything I said, I'll be happy to answer and explain as best as I can! And if anyone feels emboldened by this post to come forward and share their own experiences with such things, then I will happily read through that, too! This post is 100% okay to reblog, and if anyone wishes to reblog it and go "This is also why I left the fandom", then I will happily hear you out. What I will NOT hear out, however, is any justification or defence of any of the harmful behaviours I have mentioned - I do not wish to hear it. Pack it in, and take it to 4Chan where you belong.

[armed-with-a-waffle-iron]

Stephanie Brown ACTUALLY having the character arc that fanon pretends Jason Todd had (plus a defence of canon Jason)

What I'm really saying is that Stephanie Brown is underappreciated, Jason Todd is often misinterpreted, and, though it should go without saying, ignoring canon is poor media literacy. So let's actually analyse canon and get to the bottom of what the stories are trying to say and how they use their characters to tell this, as opposed to just which character should we stan.

I'm arguing that Stephanie Brown's story actually features a redemption arc that sees her transform from a violent, almost murderous teenager into the most unwaveringly hopeful of heroes and that Jason's story is about a villain who we're meant to empathise with to expose the cracks in the Batman's heroic facade; a Frankenstein's monster if you will. Here's a numbered list:

Part 1: Outgrowing Violence, Anger and Murder

A big part of Stephanie Brown's growth in canon is her learning not to kill or use excessive force. But it's not as simple as just killing is wrong, don't question it.

Let's begin with the narrative's relationship to violence, anger and murder. Why doesn't Batman kill? Because "[those] who [fight] with monsters might take care lest [they] thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you". If he kills, he's playing god, choosing who gets to live and die. No one deserves that kind of absolute power and absolute power also corrupts. Batman doesn't want to lose sight of himself or his cause. Deliberate murder is treated VERY negatively in the Batman mythos.

Enter Stephanie Brown.

Stephanie was a working class latchkey kid who grew up on the wrong side of the tracks. She had an abusive, criminal father, who was in and out of jail, and a mother struggling with addiction, who Steph became a carer for at just 15. Steph also became pregnant with the child of her horrible ex. At 16, she gave birth to that child and had to give her up for adoption. Steph is also a survivor.

The world was never kind to Steph and left this teenager with a hell of a lot of bitterness and rage which her vigilante career became an outlet for. You can tell by the way she fights since Steph fights DIRTY; she'll tug hair and spit in your eyes and strike below the belt and catch a kick to twist your ankle and dislodge your already broken nose. On the one hand; the narrative tells us Steph is resourceful. She's 5'5", 130 lb and has zero powers, but can always find an opening even when going up against Gotham's grizzliest. It's telling that quick thinking, savviness and spontaneity become her thing when she becomes Batgirl; Steph is the wild card. On the other hand, she was a real diamond in the rough and a complete loose canon. In her first arc, it's Batman who stops her from making the biggest mistake of her life; killing her dad. To deliberately kill; to play god, is to lose yourself, remember. Her first arc is about not being defined by who your parents are and about not giving up on yourself. Batman basically tells her, there's hope for you yet Stephanie Brown, by getting her to spare her dad. And she does. And so began her superhero career.

Nonetheless, it's never that simple. Steph is still a bitter, angry teenager, no matter how many jokes she cracks. It becomes a personal crusade when she, now Robin, discovers that The Penguin is using children as runners. It takes Cassandra Cain to stop her from inflicting anything she may regret.

The narrative wants to show us how cruel the world can be and that it isn't black and white, either. The story ends with an angry Stephanie lamenting "why". It's a "why" she is asking herself too. Why does she do what she does? And it informs us that she, and maybe us the reader too, still have a lot to learn. Murder's not the answer but what is?

Stephanie later saves Bruce by almost murdering serial killer Victor Zsasz. Bruce reprimands her and she cries, quite honestly, "I don't get it, I really don't", following on from where we left off in Batgirl. "There are always other options than to kill" asserts Bruce, forget not being on the same page, they're reading different books. The thesis of the story is what Bruce should have told Steph when she was an angry 15 year old about to murder her dad; "[those] who [fight] with monsters might take care lest [they] thereby become a monster". The world's cruel, Steph, but that doesn't mean you have to be too. "Are you firing me?" "No, I'm teaching you".

Over 2 years down the line, an around 19 year old Stephanie, establishing herself as the new, hoping-inspiring Batgirl, is now teaching a brash Damian Wayne what she's learned.

"To murder or not to murder" is just a plot device to the themes of overcoming your own anger at the world's cruelty to contribute good, coming to terms with shades of grey, not giving up on yourself and staying hopeful in the face of adversity and horror. These are Stephanie's arcs and as a consequence, she goes from would-be-murderer to Gotham's cheeriest caped crusader.

Part 2: Double Standards and Second Chances

Another huge part of Stephanie's story is her overcoming double standards and doubters, to earn her own second chances. Her resurrection and rise to the role of Batgirl were choices made to hammer home this theme; it's never too late to turn things around.

There's some juicy metatext to analyse here too. DC editorial's treatment of Stephanie during War Games was horrific and panned by both fans and writers. To reperate for these harms, Steph was retconned back to life and then made Batgirl during Batman: Reborn. Here's a quote by Batgirl (2009) author Bryan Q. Miller on what his run aimed to bring out of Steph:

The whole point of Stephanie's resurrection and take over of the Batgirl title was to give her a redemption arc.

In text, Stephanie was unfairly treated too, notwithstanding that she was brash and had a massive violent streak in her Spoiler and Robin days. Tim Drake constantly condescends her and tells her to give up vigilante life, even though she was ALWAYS a match for Tim according to Convergence: Batgirl. Cassandra Cain constantly underestimates Steph. Bruce Wayne tells his allies to cut off ties with Steph and then later fires her as Robin for DISOBEYING HIM as if that's not the first thing Dick Grayson ever did as Robin. Barbara Gordon tells Steph she has a death wish. Dick deems Steph too reckless (moments before he resurrects a zombie Batman). And Damian is an entitled brat who gives her a hard time for no reason. Everyone doubts Stephanie and it generally says more about the doubter than it does Stephanie.

Stephanie was never great with authority or criticism so she still went out there and earned her second chance. And it felt rewarding when her doubters came around too.

Stephanie was brought back from the dead to be redeemed and man did she take that chance!

Part 3: What is Jason Todd's Story Meant to Tell Us and My Defence of Canon Jason

Jason Todd returns from the dead as a ghost of Batman's past; he is the living embodiment of Batman's greatest mistake who couldn't stay buried and is back to haunt him. He's a character we are meant to empathise with but he's a villain nonetheless. He's not irredeemable but for the most part his story is not really about redemption. Succinctly, it revolves around the idea that "we are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell” to quote Oscar Wilde.

When we first meet the resurrected Jason, he's a cold-blooded murderer who's slinging guns and using The Joker's old moniker. These choices are made to emphasise that he went down the wrong path; he's breaking Batman's "don't play god" rule and his actions become eerily closer to those of the Clown Prince of Crime than Batman's. In fact Nightwing and Batman spend some quality time together in the next two issues because Nightwing is the foil to the Red Hood; he's what Bruce considers his greatest success. Remember that thing about "those who [fight] with monsters might take care lest [they] thereby become a monster"? Well Jason DID become a monster. And if he's the monster, then Bruce Wayne is Frankenstein.

We're not supposed to think "yes, kill the The Joker, Jason", we're supposed to think "good god, please Jason, it's not too late to turn your life around". Here's Dick and Jason being the exact opposite of each other, an issue apart.

So what was Jason's villainous return trying to say? For one, that people are the products of their circumstance, lest we forget Jason was once an eager and studious Robin who just wanted to be part of something greater when life, but specifically Bruce, sent him awry. This is also a story about Bruce which tells us says that our mistakes have consequences that don't stay buried, and that we will always be forced to reckon with our histories or it becomes everyone's problem. This next panel shows this best. All of Jason's killing and torture and fear-spreading and chaos does not come down to some "murder or not to murder" debate, it comes down to his relationship with Bruce. He is the monster that Frankenstein created who's back to haunt him and no one is safe.

Jason's initial Red Hood arcs were never supposed to pose the question "should Batman kill The Joker or not?". The answer is no and always has been. They are supposed to show us how Bruce's poor fatherhood of and partnership with Jason Todd led to all this horror. And Bruce can't turn back the clock, he has to reckon with the consequences of his actions in the present or more people will get hurt. It's significant that these first arcs don't end with Jason returning to the manor and seeking help surrounded by family.

We then see Jason and his issues with Bruce threaten the lives of others like when he beat Tim half to death twice, tried to blow up Mia Dearden and then tried to become a murderous, gun-touting Batman after Bruce's "death".

Once Dick Grayson becomes Batman, the narrative sheds a bit more light on how Bruce's Frankenstein created a monster in Jason; Bruce wanted Jason to be another Dick Grayson.

The red hair is a perfect metaphor. Jason is naturally red-haired and he is now balding because Bruce made him dye his hair black so he'd look like Dick as Robin. That sums it up for me. Bruce really created his own demon here and Dick, as the new Batman, is trying to make amends with the sins of the Batman's past. Jason's a great choice for a Dick Grayson villain because of their histories, considering Dick Grayson is the legacy Batman.

"I tried really hard to be what batman wanted me to be...which is you." Jason tells Dick.

That line is so painful and way more recognisable and relatable than anything fanon has produced.

"But this world...this dirty, twisted, cruel and ugly dungheap had...other plans for me."

Look no further, this is who Jason Todd is.

That's a powerful story if you ask me, and this is why I like Jason Todd as a character; a villain I pity deeply, who is portrayed as a product of their circumstances without diminishing their agency and who makes me see the cracks in the hero's facade because they are the monster our "hero" created. He's also a very nuanced foil to the ever-shining light that is Dick Grayson. The appeal to Mary Shelley's Frankenstein isn't that the monster murdered people. I also would never swap canon Jason out for, I dunno, Wayne Family Adventures Jason who's the amalgamation of 3 or 4 common fanon tropes. This is my two cents.

[sorcerous-caress]

I would like to maybe request the different BG3 party members finding out a Tav with a tough guy act was secretly ticklish? Just fluff all around

Finding out you're ticklish

[ fluff, nb!Reader, several characters ]

[ reader is a tough cold badass person ]

Karlach

Absolutely abuses it.

She has been trying to get you to loosen up for a while. As cool and badass she thought you were, she was sure there was a fun side to you.

Took it very personally to try to get you to laugh, bad puns, slipping on a banana peel, and even asking Gale to borrow one of his nerdy type jokes. Alas, you were as expressive as a stone wall.

Just when she was about to give up, she thought "ah what the hell?" and just went for it, full on tickling your sides. Worst case scenario, she will get put on clean duty again.

Imagine her surprise when you started cackling up. Pure sincere laughter coming from your own lips, very contagious too. She found herself laughing along as she kept denying your attempts to push her away.

Now she has a secret weapon, one she plans to use at whichever chance she gets.

Gale

Very amused.

Ah, how the tables have turned. You know he did have a theory on your aversion to touch and the distance you keep from others, and this was the most pleasant of outcomes.

"Accidentally" brushes against your ticklish spots, claims absolute innocence each time. Batting his eyelashes as he swears ignorance.

He'd have prefered a more subtle method than Karlach's, but really, who is he to say? Maybe he could learn a thing or two from her, that sometimes the easiest way is the best answer to a problem.

Shadowheart

Teases you about it.

She threatens to do it in her "maybe I'm joking, maybe not" way. Does she ever do it? Who knows.

But mostly, she can relate to you. She gets teased about her fear of wolves a lot, so she understands if you want her to drop the topic.

Wyll

Defends you.

He was always the kid in the playground who'd chase bullies away, and while this is a more light-hearted teasing between friends things, he will still defend you from Karlach surprise attacks.

You're safe next to him, don't worry, he will never use your weakness against you no matter how tempting it is to get this tough ice cold person to fall into a pit of laughter.

Those aren't his thoughts, just the devil's on his shoulder.

Laezel

Doesn't get it.

What do you mean ticklish? What even is that.

Gith don't really get tickled. Their skin doesn't allow it much. She is a bit fascinated and curious about it. After all, it must be a great weapon if it reduced a formidable person like you into a jumpy offbalance prey.

Yes, she will keep it in mind if she needs to take you down one day. It is the excuse she allows herself on why she keeps staring at you whenever you laugh.

Minthara

While Wyll will attempt to defend you, Minthara doesn't even have to try.

If everyone in here wants to keep their throat unslited, they better not even think to place their grubby hands near you.

Says she did use it as a form of torture in interrogations before. It wasn't very effective since the target would end up incomprehensible.

Astarion

HA

HA HA HA

you poor thing.

His bullying puts Shadowheart's light hearted teasing to shame, he WILL fully throw digs at you every chance he gets.

Brings it up always, asks if you're at risk of falling prone to laughter because your shirt's fabric was too soft. Jokes about how feathers must be knives to you huh.

He isn't big on touching, so your physical body will remain safe. Your mentality, however, is a different case.

Halsin

He is too, very ticklish. How did he get people to stop bringing it up? Simple, turn into a gaint bear.

It's not so fun watching someone fall on you from laughter when it's a gaint cave bear with rows of sharp teeth.

But really, it's not so bad. And here he will help you practice your bear exaggerated laughter to make your teeth look sharper.

[madreemeritus]

A small analysis of Angel Dust's character (tw: SA, abusive relantionships, drug addiction, coping mechanism, also spoilers of the series)

Today is Angel Dust's birthday, he's my favorite Hazbin Hotel character and became one of my fave characters ever recently, he's being my new brainrot so I decided to write about his amazing character. Oh and English isn't my first language so forgive me for any mistake.

Ok now the first thing needed is to recognize Angel's (Anthony) situation. Anthony was born in the 1910s and died in 1947, with 30 years old, he was the son of a mafia leader and a homosexual man that needed to hide and opress his own sexuality, or else he'd be, at best, killed (if not worse). When he arrived Hell, he found to himself a taste of freedom that he could never experience in his life. I'm not sure about how many years he's been in the Val situation because Valentino died in the 1970s, but either way, he signed a soul contract with Valentino and now his soul belongs to him. The worst thing about his situation is that he was much probably in love with Val and was manipulated by him to sign the contract, it's really heartbreaking to think about it.

Although we don't know the exact circumstances that lead Angel to sign the contract (if he knew or not knew he was getting into porn, if Val lied to him, etc), we do know that he didn't expect to have the life he has at the moment. Angel is, in simple words, a sexual slave. Valentino abuses him mentally, physically, emotionally and mainly, sexually. He forces Angel to do uncomfortable, painful things in the studio, perform extra hours without any human condition or even a raise, and also demands sex and affection from him. Angel can't say no, he is coerced and afraid to go against Valentino's wishes. Valentino also uses a disturbing form of emotional abuse, lovebombing Angel after assaulting and abusing him, all to remain his control over Angel. Val tries to isolate Angel from everyone else and bursts in anger once Angel moves to the hotel, after all their deal says Val can do whatever he wants with Angel in the studio, outside of the studio, though, Angel is free. This is one of the reasons why he is desperate to keep Angel around. Which also indicates Val abuses him financially, if most (if not all) the money Angel earsn with HIS work goes to VAL, then Angel is even more vulnerable, powerless and dependent on his abuser. It explains why Angel agreed to live in the Hotel in the first place: he'd have a free room, away from Val, with the MINIMAL of privacy and safety.

Angel Dust, with this amount of abuse and trauma, obviously run into coping mechanism. Even if it's self destructive. Angel is addicted to drugs (his artistic name explains itself), apparently alcohol too, and most important, he masks his own feelings. He acts as Angel Dust, the perfect, unbothered pornstar that is not weak or vulnerable in any situation. Angel Dust is always confident, strong, wanted, and constantly does the only thing he was taught he was of: flirting. He agressively flirts with every men, he offers his own body to almost every men he sees, because if he surrender himself first, then he won't be hurted or coerced... right? Angel Dust hides his true feelings and pretends to not care about anything and anyone but himself. Angel is, most of the times, rude, and don't respect other people's boundaries (after all his own boundaries aren't respected).

Because, if Angel acts this way, he won't be harmed, he won't be hurted, he won't be abandoned. If he is emotionally distant from everyone, once they abandone him, it won't be so painful... right?

Anthony hides his true self as a cope mechanism. And he knows he isn't perfect. He isn't a perfect victim, he has flaws, he does wrong things and make people uncomfortable (specially Husk, the only man that rejects his flirting, which I will talk about later), and mainly, he blames himself for being abused. And this is why he is so afraid to be real and vulnerable, even next to his friends. He thinks he won't be accepted or treated with respect. He spent so many years being told that he is only worth for sex, that he ended up believing this is the true. He spent so many years being treated as a sexual object, that he began to think he really is. He spent so many years being abused, isolated and manipulated, that he is afraid of opening up. He spent so many years being blamed for other people's actions (mainly Valentino), that he believes it's all his fault.

You may argue that he is honest and vulnerable with Cherri Bomb, but that's the point: Cherri is in a similar situation, she had a traumatic experience in the past and has similar self-destructive behaviour. She is a good friend, she sees him as he is and understands him for personal experience. As for Charlie... well, don't get me wrong. I LOVE Charlie. She IS a good person, a good friend and clearly cares about her people more than anything in the world. She wants to help and save people, Angel being one of them. She nearly beated Valentino's ass for seeing him abusing Angel. BUT. Let's be honest: as a very privileged person (princess of hell) among wretched mortal souls, she has no social awareness. I mean, come on. She wrote an anti-drug, pro post-marrital sex play where she casted Angel (a drug addict and a non-married sex worker) as the "crackhead bad guy", and praised only Sir Pentious for doing exactly the same thing Angel did. She wants to help, but she doesn't know how. Angel doesn't feel safe enough to open up. Anyone in the Hotel appeared to be safe and trustworthy, Anthony/Angel was afraid of being judged. He is a victim of SA, gruesome things were done to his body without his consent and he is ashamed of it. His hypersexualization is a way to escape his shame (hypersexualization IS A REAL AND VALID COPING MECHANISM IN REAL LIFE).

It's only in his most vulnerable moment, when he is caught by surprise, that his real feelings appear. When Charlie invades Valentino's studio — putting, in Anthony's eyes, her safety in danger —, the real Anthony tries to protect her from Val. He knows how shitty Val is. A coward, evil, gruesome abuser that has desires to control everyone and everything, even the Princess of Hell herself. We all know Charlie is much more powerful and could easily beat Valentino's ass, but Anthony doesn't care about. He probably doesn't even think too much about it, he just wishes to protect his friend. This is one of the most beautiful character aspects that Anthony has: he cares for his friends, MORE than he fears Val.

For Anthony, it's easier to surrender his body and will to Valentino, anything to calm his whiny ass down and make things less painful. But when it comes to his friends... it's so, so much difficult. He pleads Val to not hurt Charlie. Later in E6-S1, he stands up against Valentino to protect Nifty. Angel pretends to be unbothered and relaxed most of the times in the Hotel, he acts like if he doesn't care, but he DOES. He cares for his friends more than he cares for himself. He puts his friends in the first place. For him, it can seem like nothing important, but it actually tells how caring and kind he actually is. He is protective. He doesn't want ANYONE to experience the same abuse he experiences. Every. Fucking. Day.

Angel's arc, in the first season, is realizing that there ARE people who love him and care for him, DESPITE HIS FLAWS. He is not an object, he is not a worthless sinner, he is a victim, he is a person, he is a FRIEND. Once he realizes that, he starts to be kind to himself, make better choices, set boundaries to himself and respecting other people's people boundaries. And speaking about boundaries...

Huskerdust is simply, aaah holy shit what a perfect dynamic, what a perfect shipp (and when I mean Huskerdust, I mean ONLY the romantic shipp).

Husk really got into Angel's nerves, because he was the only man who rejected his flirts. He didn't only rejected, he pushed Angel away many times and openly said that he could see that Angel was faking. To someone trying to hide his own feelings, afraid of being judged and ashamed of the consequences of his trauma, that probably hurted a lot. Angel was taught that his only worth is based on his physical beauty and if he is sexually desired. Seeing someone, not only rejecting his offers, but also seeing throught the act he puts on, must have terrified and hurted Angel in a way he never expected to feel. He wasn't upset because "Husk rejected him", he was feeling humiliated and confused because, for the first time in years, someone wanted to meet the real Anthony. Angel was gaslighted to think that he is only worth for sex, for being used.

So. "What do you mean Husk doesn't want to use me? He must hate me and I'm worthless!". It's obvious that he would have this reaction. During his breakdown after Husk called him "fake", he is saying those words to himself. He is reaffirming what he was told he was worth for: for being used. People would kill to have Angel in their beds, people would kill to afford Angel's services, people would kill to use Angel. "— Do you know how much I'm worth?" in fact, Angel himself doesn't know how much he is worth.

Husk was the person Angel NEEDED. He may have been harsh on him in some occasions, but Husk CARES for Angel. He is grumpy and won't say it out loud, but he does care. He protects Angel from being drugged and abused in a bar even after their argument. He offers to listen, he relates to Angel's situation and doesn't judge him. Angel NEEDED to have the reality shock throught Husk's words: no one cares if he's hot, famous, if he's a whore, if he has flaws, literally no one cares. His friends love him the way he IS. Husk wanted Angel to be truthful, that's all. Husk never forced any physical contact, in fact, he offers his hand first and waits until Angel accepts it — besides, his physical affection isn't based on sex or violence. Notice how Husk never actually said Angel's work is garbage or that he is a bad actor, because this would be a lie. Husk says the material that is given to Angel is garbage. After all, Angel's movies are written and directed by Valentino (if i'm not mistaken, one of his asshole clients Travis also help Val with the script), of course it's garbage. Husk sees that the situation Angel is in, is garbage. Is horrible. Angel felt offended at first because, again, he thought his worth was based on Val's bullshit, but NO. Angel, Anthony, is not Val's bullshit, he is absolutely different.

Husk sees him as a real person. After Angel overstepped boundaries many times, Husk could easily tell him to fuck off, let him be drugged and raped without giving a damn, mocking his trauma, which would be a total asshole attitude but no. Husk, even being mad at Angel, listens to him with an opened heart. This is what Angel needed. He needs love and affection from someone that sees him as he is, and this person is Husk. Their bonding is so sweet in the next episodes, and I'm really excited to see how their slow-burn is going to happen in next seasons.

"Loser, Baby" is such an amazing song, it's so cute and adorable and it's exactly the type of comfort that Angel needed. Husk is also on a leash. He sold his soul to Alastor, he is constantly mistreated and forced to do things he doesn't want to do by this powerful overlord, and if Husk says no, he might lose his life. He knows exactly how Angel is feeling. He doesn't have a solution for their problems, he can't do anything against neither Valentino nor Alastor, but what he can do is helping Angel. Comforting him, listening to him and offering him companion. Angel is living a horrible situation, but he ISN'T ALONE. Yes, Angel is a cocked-up dick sucking hoe, and IT'S OKAY.

Now listen: "Addict" is Angel's song that denies his suffering. He pretends to "don't give a damn" and to be fine with the life he's living. "Poison" is the realization that he needs help, he is being abused and is slowly destroying himself with his addictions. He aknowledges his suffering, but he is still hopeless. "Loser, Baby" is Angel letting hope in. He knows he's, well, a loser, a broken person that lives a terrible, suffered life, but he is NOT alone. He is loved, despite his flaws, because his friends aknowledge his qualities and worth, him as a person. Anthony, not Angel Dust.

What an amazingly well-written character, fuck my life. I love him so much 😭

[hopefull-mindset]

Finally understanding Beast Mori (as Asagiri intended)

Hello everyone, I am hoping you’ll be nice about me talking about Mori for two seconds and express my thoughts about such a guy like this. This isn’t going to be some fancy analysis picking apart stuff like I’d usually want to or even me addressing every trait he has because I definitely don’t go into everything. This is me finally being at peace with Mori’s humanity.

Before you say anything, I’d just like to share my own peace of comprehension. So if you were similarly confused the way I was, I think you’d appreciate this (Or if you’re looking for a different approach on Mori).

Im sure most of you have read the manga adaptation, so just to let you know, I am going to be using passages from the official Light Novel translation and if anyone needs it, I can send it to them!

For anyone who’s decided to read, hello! Nice to meet you. I’m sure we’ve all shared the same confusion when confronted with Beast Mori’s difference in personality and approach. Thoughts like “Why is he so much nicer?” Or “Why does he care much more about how kids are treated, when he himself has treated kids the same way he describes in the past?”

How could this person be the same guy who was Mori the Port Mafia Boss? The war veteran who used Yosano the way he did? So we came up with many idea of why he’s different to justify it, but here’s the thing: Mori is the same person he always was, this is a universe where everything is the same, but different where Dazai chooses to intervene.

After a few days, I was able to recognize it but I couldn’t hold myself to acknowledge it. It’s hard to see a man who represents the dark, the Port Mafia, to the Armed Detective Agency’s light. I couldn’t wrap my head that such a controlling, manipulative man could have humanity like the rest of the characters.

Why was this so hard for me to see? Well two reasons— the fandom and how the anime cuts down Mori’s emotions when adapting canon material. This happens to Dazai too, but people are much more willing to talk about it compared to Mori. Now the fandom really does love blaming everything on Mori and that’s not the most constructive thing to do when talking about abuse narratives. I can’t blame anyone for taking this route when it came to Mori because of Asagiri’s poorly thought out choice with him…. we all know what I’m talking about. Elise.

However, I need some of you to understand that abuse narratives are never as simple as “oh, it’s all this persons fault because they’re a horrible person, so [character] is resolved from any guilt or responsibility”. This not only dumbs down the situation and seriousness of it, by mischaracterizing the abuser, you’re also mischaracterizing the victim as well and what they’ve gone through. You’re putting their story in jeopardy.

Bungou Stray Dogs is a story about human beings, morality, and what it all means. Mori, and in turn Fukuzawa, are important to understand Bungou Stray Dogs because they are in two pinochle positions that start this discussion of Morality. I am baffled that a story like this, one that approaches these topics with so much appreciation for humanity and nuance, has a fandom that doesn’t want to talk about what it has to offer.

Asagiri’s poorly thought out writing decision of a joke is going to have lasting effects with how Mori is going to be approached forever and I see this, but I think the little girl jokes are the least important thing to talk about because they have as much impact as the Tanizaki siblings do. He’s also written to be not a good person either, so you can dislike him easily, but how many of these characters are traditionally good people? Kouyou, for example, is not a “good person” and emotionally abusive in example to how she treated Kyouka. That doesn’t stop people from liking her friendship with Chuuya and making content with her.

So this attitude toward Mori had me lost when it came to him because I could see how much thought Asagiri puts into writing him the same way he does with so many, but I’ve seen so many disregard his humanity that I had no way to express any of my thoughts to sort out what to think about through anyone else when faced with Beast Mori. Everyone was as lost I was, and the people that weren’t never explained it in a way I could break that barrier.

So what finally made me wrap my head around Mori? It was exactly one conversation I had with a friend and it wasn’t even about Beast Mori in particular, it was just about Mori and his poor humanity while navigating how to lead. Everything just clicked with that.

(Dazai, Chuuya, age Fifteen)

This right here is where Mori tells us what he thinks his position means after the struggling we visibly see him go through. Is it an inherently correct conclusion to make? No, but does it make sense as someone who’s a leader of a huge, dangerous underground criminal organization? Yes, it does.

We have no backstory on Mori, but his poor humanity is easy to explain when he’s been in positions that require him to disregard his own and everyone else’s humanity for years now. As someone who’s seen war up close and a physician, these jobs require him to take control of the other person. Well in his mind at least, he sees these jobs and chooses to the route that’s most efficient.

It’s never positioned to be for himself though, he doesn’t take glee in what he does for self serving purposes, it’s always for the country, the city, the organization. His thought process is never the power hungry yearning we see everyone mistake it for. It’s never that he wants it, it’s that he needs it for everything to go well.

That’s exactly how he treats Yosano because even though it’s creepy to base your abilities looks on a little girl, that doesn’t stop him from seeing her use before her age and humanity.

His clinical utilitarianism is his core trait but also most disliked one from what I can tell in the fandom, and people tend to misinterpret it to make the more non-favorable view of him. But again, he’s not supposed to be the greatest guy ever and you can understand where these traits started forming. And again, to paraphrase another’s words: he’s cunning, but not power hungry.

He’s also not disliked by his subordinates and actually respected, he respectively enjoys the company, but there’s a mixed answer to that and that it is… nobody is going to listen to you if you don’t treat them with decency. Why would you expect a tool to work if you break them? One of his earliest lessons he learned with Yosano and leadership.

(Dazai, Chuuya, Age Fifteen)

For example, we all know this scene is manipulation. He’s baiting Chuuya with information while still treating the teenager with respect and enough honesty to form a bond. Chuuya is perfectly aware that he’s being used in the present and in the past, but he respects Mori as a leader objectively after his own considered failure and lack of control over the sheep, even if he didn’t consider himself one. I don’t think this honesty comes from nowhere because that quote, “only a Diamond can polish a Diamond”, came from Natsume in reference to himself and Fukuzawa.

He sees himself and Fukuzawa in Soukoku fondly, but I tend to rethink this quote time to time because at first it comes off as a quote about partnership and building off of each other’s good qualities to perfect their own, but the way Mori uses it here feels as though it’s positioned to mean that one of them comes out perfected and the other weared down. Pretty competitive if you think about it.

(Bungou Stray Dogs BEAST)

We’re finally at the part you’ve been waiting for guys! So what was my point for analyzing canonverse Mori? So as I said before, these are the exact same guy and all that word jumble? That was an extended version of what was communicated with me to finally get what was going on with Mori in this universe and why he’s suddenly in an orphanage.

Now I couldn’t tell what was going through Beast Dazai’s mind and where this decision came from instead of actually killing him like the rumor’s implied, but I can come close. I think that Beast Dazai recognized this potential of change either from the multitude of universes he was able to witness or recognized it in his own considering canonverse Dazai never does anything against Mori (even if he visibly dislikes him).

Possibility is one thing, the why is another. It was either that he saw potential and good that could come out of this in the long run, Mori’s intelligence and expertise still proves usefulness, less dangerous for Oda in the long run if he let Mori stay there instead of the Mafia, or all three.

I can say for sure though that this is better for Mori because after the years of being in atmospheres that require so much of him intelligently and exempt of any emotion involved for the sake of efficiency, being able to rekindle his humanity where nothing is expected of him except to raise kids in a non-exploitative context sounds really freeing to me. Considering he’s been there for 4 years, I find the development understandable.

Okay I’m hearing what you guys are saying again, “What about him saying he wanted to save Dazai? That doesn’t seem like typical Mori.” And I’m gonna say something really controversial: Well maybe he did.

Really though, I think he did care about Dazai and not because he saw a child struggling (think about Yosano and Q for 3 seconds), but because he saw himself in Dazai, which ultimately changed way more about their relationship than you guys think. There’s a lot of comparisons to Yosano and I understand where they come from because I think there’s a lot you can see similarities in, but Dazai is not purely a tool for Mori the way she was.

The avoidance of letting him die do come from his use and overall importance to the original plan of becoming the new boss, but I don’t think he would’ve left Dazai alone like that for 4 whole years after leaving the mafia if he didn’t care in some way way. What strikes me the most is how Asagiri decided to add “the man who raised Dazai”.

For Beast Mori, I think he’s had enough time to actually feel guilt and regret for Dazai as a person like a normal human being does. Oh I guess Elise is important too. Her aging up just meant that Mori has become less controlling and not like the little girl who he literally sees as a tool since kids are easier to manipulate. Can’t bring that energy to an orphanage, nope!

There’s better stuff out there about Mori that I think if you’re more open to thinking about Mori after this, you should check it out, these are just my thoughts recently. To end this off, here are two links to Asagiri’s own thoughts on Mori.