#<- said with so much affection for the people who post their wonderful ideas on twitter but so much disdain for the format

[made-nondescript]

i just saw a karl jacobs x reader on youtube shorts of all things and 1) kids are adapting I see and 2) I truly can't think of a more unpleasant way to consume fic or fic-adjacent content than short form video

[futureman]

old dogs don't change

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

summary: weeks after sleeping together, your no-strings-attached agreement goes up in flames when joel goes on a date with another woman. you make sure that never happens again. (sequel to keep it on the low)

warnings: 18+ MDNI, ex-boyfriend!joel, jackson era, tlou 2 jesse appearance, age gap, hurt, angst, smut, unprotected piv, post-breakup sex, rough sex, public sex, rough oral (m!receiving), exhibitionism, possessive behavior, jealousy, alcohol use, briefly dating other people

word count: 10.6k

You have no idea who she is, but you bet she’s a total bitch. Is that mean? Maybe. Do you give a shit? Nope.

To be fair, you’d probably say that about anyone Joel started dating after you, but that doesn’t mean it can’t still be true. Sure, you've never actually talked to her…or seen her before in your entire life, but that’s beside the point. She’s cute and bubbly, and everything you’re not, and that’s the point. 

It’s honestly a little comical how different the two of you are, and you can’t help but wonder if Tommy did that on purpose. You know he was the one who set them up. Everyone in the dining hall was talking about it this morning. The latest, hottest piece of gossip, bouncing from table to table like a cruel game of telephone. 

He probably thinks he’s protecting his big brother, but you think he needs to mind his own fucking business. It’s not like he knows anything about your relationship, not really. Well. It’s not your relationship anymore, is it? And Tommy, along with everyone else in this town, blames you for that.

Poor Joel, dumped by the biggest bitch in Jackson, who took advantage of his kindness and patience for years, and broke his heart when all he did was love her. Selfish, cold, and uncaring. Nothing like the pretty, perky girl sitting next to him in the booth they’re sharing at Seth’s. 

If only they knew what really happened.

The bar is especially busy, even for a Saturday night, so you figure no one’ll notice you blatantly glaring at them. It’s not like you care, anyway. You’re feeling warm and loose, and maybe a little too tipsy for your own good, but tonight, you get to do whatever the fuck you want. 

Because Joel’s sitting ten feet away with his arm slung around another woman, and it hurts. 

It sucks way worse than him avoiding you since the last time you slept together, after all of the things you did and said on that couch. The things he said. You shoo away the thought with another swig of beer, wishing you were drinking something stronger. It's for the best. 

If you get any drunker, you’ll probably end up doing something stupid, and the last thing you need is to prove everyone right that he’s better off without you. But you can’t seem to shake the anger that’s starting to simmer below the surface. 

With the emotional toll this night has already taken, you kind of don’t want to. So, you surrender to it. Fuck him. He’s a piece of shit for parading his new girl around right in front of you, and for breaking off your agreement without so much as a word. 

If he wanted to see other people, he should’ve opened his mouth and used his big boy words. Then again, he’s always been terrible at that, so why are you surprised? 

Maybe he’ll fuck her tonight. Touch her all of the ways you like because that’s all he knows anymore. She’ll moan for him, soft and sweet, gentle in her affection, just like she’s touching him right now. But it won’t satisfy him, and when he’s panting on top of her, chasing that all-consuming release only you can give him, you know he’ll be pretending she's you. 

Asshole.

You’re still watching them, shooting daggers from your spot at the bar, when your wish from earlier is granted. Two overflowing shot glasses topped with lime are placed in front of you, and you look up to see a very attractive dark-haired, brown-eyed man smirking down at you.

"Looked a little lonely over here," he says in a raspy baritone even lower than Joel's. He clinks the top of your beer bottle with the bottom of his own. "Thought you could use some company, maybe another drink."

Well, he’s right. You could use some company, and you’d love another drink. There’s no harm in having a little fun, right? If Joel’s doing it, then there’s nothing stopping you.

"So, both of these are for me, then?" you smile coyly, reaching for one. He nods, his own smile widening.

"Could be. Can I join ya?" he gestures to the empty stool next to you. 

He has this cocky look on his face like he already knows you'll say yes, and in your inebriated state, you think it's kind of hot. It reminds you of Joel when you first met. How he knew exactly what he wanted and wouldn't give up until it was his. Until you were his.

You consider him for a moment. He’s young, maybe even younger than you, and obviously confident enough to make a move on you. Fleetingly, you think he might end up being that stupid thing you do tonight, but then you down one of the shots and decide you don't actually care. 

What turns out to be tequila burns the entire way down, and you immediately pick up a slice of lime. You’re hyperaware of the way his eyes lock onto your mouth as you suck on the sour fruit, lingering when a droplet of juice dribbles down your chin. 

It’s not a total surprise when he reaches up to thumb it away, but you are taken off guard by how strange it makes you feel. The pad of his finger is disappointingly smooth, no weathering or even a hint of a callus. You're not sure why that matters to you, but you can take a decent guess.

You chance a glance over at Joel's table and, of course, you have his full attention now. His entire body looks tense, from his hand clenched on the table to the prominent vein bulging angrily in his neck. 

Good. Now he knows how it feels.

Looking back up at your mystery guy, you run your tongue along your bottom lip, catching any remaining lime before you finally give him an answer. 

"Sure. Pop a squat, cowboy," you giggle. It doesn't even sound like you and feels wrong the second it passes your lips, but as long as Joel heard it, that's all that matters. "You got a name?"

He replies, but you're too busy keeping an eye on Joel in your peripheral to catch what he says. In the back of your mind, you think that’s probably a good thing. You'd rather not know, especially if you do end up taking him home. 

Mystery guy laughs at your noncommittal hum and you realize you’ve been caught. But he doesn’t seem upset. It’s clear he’s amused by your obvious interest elsewhere and that piques your curiosity. 

Any other guy here would’ve been pissed by your apathy, especially if they’d bothered to buy you a drink that you accepted, but apparently not this one.

He sits down on the stool next to you, pulling it close enough that his knee presses against yours. You unconsciously lean into him, your skin erupting in goosebumps despite your growing unease.

He's...baffling. A total enigma. You can’t figure out what his deal is or why he’s choosing to keep pursuing you when your eyes have been glued to another man all night. 

The thought of letting this continue long enough to find out is a little thrilling. Might as well see where this goes. If it escalates, you’re more than confident in your ability to care of yourself.

But it happens sooner than you expect. His hand finds the back of your stool and, then, his lips are suddenly right next to your cheek. You can feel the warmth of them as he tilts his head to whisper in your ear.

“Look, not try'na to overstep, but…,” his eyes dart to where Joel’s sitting, unreservedly ignoring his date. The poor thing barely notices, chattering away about something not nearly as important to him as watching you. His gaze returns to you, and you can feel him smirking. “You wanna make that guy you've been staring at all night jealous?"

That’s—wow. You didn’t see that one coming. He’s got a lot of audacity to assume that’s something you’d want, let alone offer…what? His services? 

But, then again, he isn’t wrong. Joel’s been the only thing on your mind since you walked into Seth’s tonight and saw him with her. He’s always on your mind if you’re being totally honest with yourself. It’s plain to see, obvious to every single person in this bar including the man himself.

You eye your mystery guy curiously for a second before nodding, your lips quirking into a small smirk. Maybe it’s time to prove to Joel and everyone else in this judgmental town that you’ve moved on, too. That you’re not the sad, bitter shrew that deserves to be alone.

"Yeah, actually, I do," you reply cautiously. But there's still one lingering question that has yet to be answered. "I just…why? I don’t get why you’re helping me. What are you getting out of this?”

He shrugs, and somehow you can just tell by the look in his eyes that there’s no hidden agenda. You’re not sure how you’re just noticing, but he has kind eyes. This whole time, he’s been nothing but patient and attentive, like Joel always was—...is? 

Was.

You almost wish you could fall for someone like this man instead of pathetically clinging to your past. Maybe you’ll at least get a friend out of this crazy night, if nothing else. But then you remember one, tiny problem with that idea.

“Can you tell me your name again? I promise you have my full attention this time,” you smile sheepishly. He chuckles good-naturedly and, again, doesn’t seem to hold it against you.

“It’s Jesse,” he says with a deep, southern drawl you should probably be more attracted to. “And let’s just say I know how it feels to want someone ya can’t have.”

You nod slowly, understanding perfectly. Except—you didn't realize up until this moment that that's exactly what you want. Someone you can't ever have. 

And it took seeing Joel with someone else, his body pressed up against a woman that isn't you, to realize it. Well, that fucking sucks.

You decide not to ask about Jesse's situation. It's not your business and, anyway, you're both trying to feel better about your circumstances, not worse. 

There’s a silent sense of camaraderie between you that tells you to throw caution to the wind. Tossing back the second shot, you turn your stool to face his, literally and figuratively turning your back on Joel. 

“It’s really nice to meet you, Jesse,” you murmur, and you genuinely mean it. He grins, leaning in slowly, still giving you time to back out if you want to, but you don't. 

Eat your heart out, Joel Miller. This one's for you.

"S'nice to meet you, too," he replies softly. 

Then, his lips are on yours. The kiss is wet and open-mouthed, and yet he handles you so delicately. He cradles your face in his hands as his tongue brushes against yours, and you moan softly into his mouth, letting your body get lost in the way he feels. And he feels so—

Much different than Joel. 

All you can think about is how much you miss Joel's rough touch, the way he'd thread his fingers through your hair and tug you into his mouth, nearly devouring you whole. Joel kissed you like every time might be the last, right up until it actually was. 

Fucking hell, why can't you just enjoy this without him ruining it for you?

You try to forget about it, about him, licking into Jesse's mouth a little more aggressively, and he groans, his body eager and responsive. It's probably more than you should be doing in public, sitting at a bar surrounded by people but, hell, you want them to see. 

They can say whatever they want about you. You're done giving a shit.

And, boy, will they have a lot to talk about after tonight. Joel makes sure of that. It happens so fast, you barely register that Jesse’s lips aren’t on yours anymore like they should be.

One moment, Jesse's hands are trailing down your sides to your waist, and the next, he's being forcibly dragged off you. Between you stands a broad, imposing figure ensuring you stay separated.

Your mind goes blank, and all you can do is watch in shock and disbelief as Joel lets loose on him, his words possessive and almost nonsensical. 

"The fuck you think you're doin' touchin' her like that? Y'need to learn how to keep your hands to yourself, kid, before ya get yourself in trouble," he grits out angrily. 

To his credit, Jesse stays cool and collected, but it’s not enough. There’s already a few pairs of eyes on you, drawn by the physical altercation, and it won’t be long before the rest of the bar notices the impending fight.

"Respectfully, sir, s'long as the lady consents, I'll put my hands wherever she wants," Jesse replies, standing his ground. He tries to move around him to return to your side, but Joel fixes him with a look that sends a shiver down your spine.

"S'that really a good idea?" Joel sounds menacing and looks even more so the longer the conversation continues. 

You’re still numb to everything unfolding in front of you and it’s not until Jesse’s next to you again, snaking an arm around your waist, that you finally come to. The reality of your situation hits you like a ton of bricks and now you’re mad. You open your mouth to retaliate, but Jesse cuts you off before you can get a word in.

“There a reason it wouldn’t be?” he turns the question back on Joel and you tense, anticipating a less-than-friendly answer. Jesse squeezes your hip in reassurance, but it does nothing to soothe your unease. He doesn’t know Joel like you do.

“Kid, do I look like I’m fuckin’ around? Take your hands off her and walk away. M'not gonna tell you again,” he all but growls, taking a threatening step forward. 

Neither of you back down. Jesse’s arm stays firm around you as your nails bite into your palm. It's taking everything you've got not to make a bigger scene than you already have.

You knew it. Since the breakup, you’ve been trying to reconcile this increasingly unfamiliar man with the Joel you gave your entire heart to all those years ago. With each passing month, the differences between the two become more and more obvious.

He's angrier now and has so much less patience. It's not that he's unkind. You know that no matter what his circumstances are, Joel will continue to be a good man. But he has a hair trigger, especially when it comes to you. 

And he wants. God, he always wants you. It’s not that you didn’t have an active sex life before everything fell apart. He just...fucks you differently now. Possessively and without restraint, like he needs to be sure you're satisfied enough to never need anyone else. The agreement to keep sleeping together was actually his idea. And it worked for a while—until it suddenly didn't. 

Now, you're forced to come face-to-face with that reality. Sitting at this bar, you spent the entirety of the night believing he'd decided he didn't want you anymore, that he was ready to find happiness in something simpler than sneaking around with his ex.

Except, it's starting to feel like maybe that's not as true as he made it seem. Like he never should've gone on this date in the first place.

"What the fuck, Joel?" you hiss, fighting to keep your volume under control. Not that it matters. The entire bar is staring at you, their eyes ping-ponging back and forth like they're watching a tennis match. "Back the fuck off. Now. This is none of your business."

"The hell it ain't my business. Some kid's runnin' his hands all over another man's girl and y'think that ain't my business?" 

His trembling hands clench into fists at his sides and, while you’re betting the rest of the bar thinks he’s preparing for a fight, that isn’t Joel. It might be you, though, if he keeps this up.

"Excuse me? And whose girl am I—yours? Because I'm pretty sure your girl is sitting over there in that booth. Or did you forget about your date?"

For a moment, he actually has the nerve to look ashamed, like he feels bad about leaving her all alone at their table and for humiliating her in front of all these people. He avoids her crestfallen gaze, likely not ready to face the hurt he’s caused. 

But it only lasts for a second before his eyes darken again, focused solely on you. As if Jesse, his pretty date, and everyone else in this bar disappeared, and it's just you and him. This conversation doesn't include them anymore. It's a private matter now.

"We're leavin'," he says with finality, his tone leaving no room for argument. 

He should know better. That's not how things work with you. You’re a fighter, a trait he’s always loved about you, even if your ire was directed at him. Back then, it rarely was.

"You're out of your mind if you think I'm leaving with you," you scoff bitterly. "Go back to your date, I'll go back to mine, and we can forget about this. All of it. We're done, Joel."

He shakes his head, mouth tipping down into a frown like he's thinking something over. Then, he huffs out a laugh. Like, an actual laugh, and you start to think maybe he really has lost his mind.

"Y'know, I really don't think we are, darlin'," he drawls dangerously. 

He's on you in an instant, his hand wrapped tightly around your arm as he drags you out of the bar. You briefly consider resisting, but he's moving too quickly. All of those shots you downed combined with the beer you drank earlier go straight to your head, and you're suddenly overwhelmingly distracted by the feeling of his skin on yours.

Fuck, it feels like it's been so long. In reality, you know it's only been a few weeks but, god, you missed it. His hands on your body, anywhere at all on your body. You'd hate how quickly you forget about Jesse if you could think about anything else but those familiar, rough fingertips.

The way they dig into you, reminiscent of how he'd squeeze your thighs or clutch your waist when he was making love to you.

...Wait, what? No...no, fuck. Why is he making this so difficult? Why—Christ...why can't you just leave each other alone? If he never planned on letting you go, he shouldn't have broken up with you. And if he still wanted you this badly...all he had to do was ask. You would've said yes in a heartbeat.

So, you let him steal you away, out into the brisk, wintry air that does little to cool your fury or the heat beginning to coil in your belly. The door shuts noisily behind you, and you immediately wrench your arm out of his grasp before he can say a word. It's your turn to talk now.

"What is wrong with you? You can't just...fuck, you can't do shit like this!" You're seething, practically shaking in your rage, and his expression doesn't look much different. 

"And you can? I dunno what the hell you were thinkin' gettin’ cozy with some goddamn kid, lettin’ him touch ya like that in front of the whole town," he reiterates harshly. He's starting to sound like a broken record. It's the only leverage he's got, and you both know it's flimsy at best.

"Some kid? Jesse's a fucking adult, clearly more mature than you," you bite back. "And it’s a bar, Joel. That's what people do at bars."

Joel scoffs, and you can tell he hates the way Jesse's name falls from your lips. Especially when those lips were on yours not even ten minutes ago. 

"And who are you to decide who can and can't touch me? You broke up with me," you continue resentfully. "You don't get a say anymore."

At that, his face becomes unreadable. He didn't need the reminder, and you know that, but it needed to be said for both of your sakes. Sometimes you think maybe he actually forgets it was his choice to give you up. That he didn't realize his decision would hurt you as much as it hurt him.

"So, what? You gonna take him home then, let him fuck ya?" He leans in close, so close you can feel his soft, graying curls against your temple and the coarse drag of his beard across your cheek. 

"Kiss ya here—," a finger trails delicately down the side of your neck to his spot above your collarbone, then continues down to where you've been aching for him for weeks, "—taste ya here." 

You slap his hand away before he can get any further, but your reaction only spurs him on. How could you forget? He likes that.

"Y'know he can't make ya feel as good as I do. Fuck you just how y'like it, make ya cum as hard as I do," he drawls confidently, almost smugly, in your ear. "Don't ya?"

It's less a question than a statement, because you both know he's right. Joel knows your body better than anyone ever has, maybe even better than you know it yourself. Just as much as you know his. And it's sort of funny. You were thinking the exact same thing about him with his date earlier.

"Sure, Joel. Just like you were gonna take that girl home, right?" You raise an eyebrow, turning your head so your lips graze his skin. "Pretty little thing like her, I bet she likes it slow and romantic. She’ll probably even stick around for a snuggle and some pillow talk. You'd love that.”

Even as you mock him, the sneer marring your face doesn’t quite meet your eyes, and the spiteful nature of your words tastes acrid as they pass your lips. He’s so good at that. Always able to bring out the worst in you to prove his point—that he’s no good for you.

But you stand firm, your chest pressed flush against his in a show of determination. You're still in control here, unlike Joel, whose fingers are twitching noticeably at his sides like he's just itching to get his hands on you again. 

"Maybe I would. Liked it with you, didn't I?" he murmurs wistfully, and that catches you completely off guard.

His words are almost too gentle to belong in this argument, and it doesn’t feel fair. What's worse, he looks like he means them. You’d prefer the fight, the aggression of the man who dragged you out of the bar. Not this. Not these traces of your Joel. 

You can already feel your resolve slipping, and the rapid thrum of your heartbeat tells you to let it. When his hands finally take their rightful place on your waist, he’s in control again.

The cool evening air is suddenly stifling, and you’re starting to feel like you’re suffocating, your thoughts a jumbled, heated haze of anger and fear and want. He squeezes hard enough to pull your hips into his and you unintentionally buck, allowing his hands to travel up your shirt. 

There's an intensity to his gaze, tinged with an unexpected tenderness. He almost looks...sated. Fulfilled, now that you're back in his arms. But not completely, not yet.

"You still haven't answered my question," he mutters. His hands splay across your ribcage, high enough for his thumbs to tease the undersides of your breasts.

You bite down hard on your bottom lip, sliding your hands up his chest to push him away so you can catch your breath, but your body won't cooperate. It's been well-trained to crave his touch. Exhaling sharply through your nose, you fist his shirt and instead pull him impossibly closer.

"You asked a lot of questions tonight. You're gonna have to be a little more specific,” you pant heavily.

It's getting more difficult to think, now, with the warmth of his body against you, his thumbs shifting higher to stroke your stiffening nipples. He urges your hips forward again to meet his, and you can already feel him straining in his jeans.

You whimper helplessly, unable to curb the way your body's reacting to him, and the soft sound causes something in him to snap. He suddenly backs you up against the hard brick of the bar's exterior and begins to grind languidly into your stomach. 

"Y'really believe that boy can take care of a woman like you? Hm?" He interrogates you, his voice gravelly and uneven in your ear. "Tell me I'm the only one who can give you what ya need. Wanna hear ya say it."

Fuck, you can't lie to him. As much as you want to, it's just one more thing your body won't allow you to do. Not when he's working you up like this. 

"You're the only one," you moan around your admission. He's still crowding you into the wall, his hands greedily roaming your soft curves.

His eyes meet yours, darting quickly to your mouth before he leans in to kiss you passionately like he’s rewarding you. It only lasts for a second, one deliciously fleeting second, before he pulls away. You’re not sure why you let him. Or why you kissed back.

"Who's the only man who can make ya scream?" he demands a little more urgently.

"You, Joel,” you murmur obediently, your lips already parted and ready for your prize.

And he acquiesces—another insistent kiss that doesn’t last nearly long enough. This time, you chase him, but he jerks his head back. He still has one last question for you. Except, this time, he looks afraid of the answer. 

"Whose girl are ya?"

He whispers it so softly, you barely catch it over the whistling, nighttime breeze. As he brushes a few ruffled strands of hair behind your ear, you answer without hesitation. 

"Yours, Joel."

His entire body relaxes. Now, he's complete.

"Damn right, you are—"

Then, the front door bursts open next to you, and he's abruptly cut off. Joel is quick to tug you around the corner into the alleyway before anyone can spot you, but he's not fast enough to keep you from seeing who just left the bar.

Jesse.

And there it is. A shock to the system, enough to clear some of that smoky, nostalgic haze and bring you back to the present. But as everything hurtles back for the second time tonight, this time around, you can’t be mad because he’s right.

Of course, you're not Jesse's girl. As pathetic as it sounds, you'll always be Joel's because he’s the only one who can take care of you and give you what need. The only man who can make you scream. But that goes both ways.

Even though he’s been picking fights all night, he hasn’t raised his voice once. It's not the way he wins his battles. So, maybe it's time to remind Joel Miller that there is someone who can make him scream. But he isn't allowed to unless you say so.

It all feels eerily familiar—his fingers digging into your waist and your lips crashing into his hard enough to bruise. You lead him deeper into the alley, back to where the glow of the string lights above the bar can't reach you, before you separate from him. 

Neither of you wants to be the one to say it, but it needs to be heard. Here, in the dark, you can be his completely, but once you part ways and return to your empty beds, that's it. Just like last time. The reasons for your breakup are still very real, and that means your relationship can't be.

"Only here. Right, Joel?"   

He stays silent for a moment, his gaze filled with deep longing and sadness. It almost makes you want to take it back. Take him back. So, when he shakes his head and cups your cheeks, kissing you like this might be his last chance, you're not surprised in the slightest.

And after this whole night—this whole confusing, fucked-up night—you let him. Right now, he needs this. Maybe you do, too.

His lips taste like whiskey and relief, and you return his kiss with all of the passion and fervor he’s pouring into you. You’re both a little frantic in the way you touch each other, but as much as you don’t want it to, it makes perfect sense. 

Those few weeks without each other felt like years, and now that his hands are back on your body and his voice, deep and dulcet, is in your ear telling you how badly he wants you, you don’t want to let him go again.

You grind the heel of your hand into the front of his jeans and his responding groan pleases you more than it probably should. This. This is yours—his pleasure, his attention, him. They belong to you and you alone. Not his pretty, perky fucking date. 

The sudden possessiveness stuns you for a moment, but it's not enough to stop the feeling from consuming you. This must be how it feels for Joel. It's potent and feels so, so…right. You're starting to think you've felt this way for a while.

"I needed you, and you made me wait so fucking long," you gasp against his lips, and the fingers cradling your face tense. You’re still fisting his shirt, nearly hard enough to tear, and you wrench it up from where it’s tucked into his pants. 

"M'sorry, darlin', I know. I know I did,” he rasps back, following your lead and dropping his hands from your cheeks so he can unbuckle his jeans. “M'gonna make it up to ya. Tell me what you want, I’ll give it to ya.”

You want everything. Everything he has to give, you want it all. After everything you've been through, the hurt he caused you, you deserve it. And right now, what you want is for him to feel so good, he'll never go on a date with someone who isn't you ever again.

Sharp gravel bites into your bare skin as you drop to your knees in front of him. He's already so hard under all that heavy fabric and looks desperate above you. Just as desperate as you are for him to replace the flavor of Jesse's tequila and lime on your tongue with something saltier and headier, and undeniably Joel.

You hastily unbutton and unzip his jeans, not wasting any more of the precious time you have left together, before tugging them down just enough to free his cock and balls. He looks...fucking mouth-watering—flushed and red and leaking, and so goddamn thick. You wrap your hand around him and he sighs gratefully, dribbling precum onto your fingers.

"This is what I want," you finally reply, keeping your eyes locked on his as you lean forward to lick a broad line up his cock. He hisses in a breath through his teeth, his thighs already beginning to tremble, and you brace your hand on one. "But you're gonna be quiet, okay? I'm gonna suck your cock and you're not gonna make a single sound."

His expression darkens, but he agrees to your terms, nonetheless.

"Sure, darlin'. Whatever you say," he nods, gazing down at you with furrowed brows. He cradles your face in his hand and brushes his thumb along your cheekbone.

The affectionate gesture isn't lost on you, but this time you accept it. Instinctively leaning into his touch, you revel in it for a brief moment before his cock pulsing a frantic rhythm against your palm becomes an unignorable distraction. But a welcome one.

"That's my boy," you mumble against the tip. Just as a pained noise escapes his parted lips, you swallow him down as far as you can take him, purposely gagging yourself on him before you can dwell on the words that accidentally just tumbled out.

Your boy. Your boy. It echoes in your mind, ricocheting wildly and painfully like a bullet. Before you can take it back, maybe even to keep you from taking it back, he buries his fingers in your hair and holds you in place. You choke around him, trying your best to breathe through your nose, but in doing so, you take in a lungful of the heady musk at his base.

The familiarity of it all sends you reeling. He only gives you a second to adjust before he's fucking into your mouth and biting back a litany of needy sounds that rival your own wet, audible gagging. Your grip on his thigh tightens as your throat relaxes, allowing you to take him deeper, and you can feel yourself clenching around nothing every time he grazes the back of your throat. 

Tears stream down your cheeks and he wipes them away with a much too tender swipe of his thumb, even as he continues to force you up and down his cock. But you're too lost in your pleasure to notice anymore. So fucking good, you feel so, so good. But you need more, and you're not willing to pull off of him just yet.

Tugging down the front of your shirt, you roll a sensitive nipple between your fingers, and, god, that helps. You imagine they're Joel's and it amplifies the sensation, though your fingertips are still too smooth and delicate. Then, they're replaced by exactly what you've been yearning for all night. 

“You don’t even know how beautiful y'look like this,” he grits out, his fingers running through your hair with one hand and roughly cupping your breast with the other. His hips stutter, and you moan around him. “Fuckin’ perfect. How are ya so fuckin’ perfect?”

Beautiful. More beautiful than her? Well, you must be, because you’re the one here on your knees, choking on his cock, and she’s still sitting in the bar wondering if her date will ever come back. 

He won’t.

You preen without meaning to, your eyes blearily finding his while you drool around him, dripping saliva down his balls and onto your bare breasts. It's as if the visual alone has him thrusting into your mouth faster, pushing your limits only as much as he knows you can take. You must look like a wet dream right now, his wet dream, with your watery eyes and swollen, split-slick lips wrapped tightly around him.

Yet, he's remained so, so quiet this entire time, just like you told him to. Joel likes his sex loud, regardless of where you are and who might hear, so if he’s following your rules, that means something. 

It means he'll do whatever it takes to have you. The realization crashes over you like a bucket of ice water, and then you're pulling off of him. 

“You’ll give me anything, right? Anything I want?” your voice cracks around the question, wrecked from the effort of taking him. His hips chase your hand as you continue to pump him, matching his previous, unforgiving pace. 

“That ain’t a question, y’know I will,” he replies breathily and without hesitation. 

You gaze up at him, praying your eyes convey all of the need and anguish and hope you've felt since the last time you slept together. Since the last time you were his.

“Fuck me," and you won't accept anything less than his all. Not that half-assed shit he would've given her. "Fuck me."

He understands. His heart rate kicks up, thrumming wildly against the palm of your hand, and you know he does.

The growl that rumbles through his chest is nearly soundless but powerful. An entire night's worth of tension culminating in a single exhaled breath, just before he drags you up and spins you around, bending you over against the wall. 

Bracing yourself on the harsh brick, you rush to give him better access, arching your back as he tugs your pants and underwear down to your knees. A callused hand runs upward, following the notches of your spine, while his other spreads across your waist, pulling your hips back onto his so you can feel him, heavy and leaking against your bare ass.

God, he’s so close to where you need him now. His knuckles graze your skin as he grips the base, pumping himself before the blunt head of his cock nudges your entrance.

But then, for some godforsaken reason, you feel a wave of panic. Time suddenly feels like it's running out, worsening with every subtle movement he makes. The ticking clock of your and Joel's relationship, perpetually stuck at two minutes to midnight, has sprung to life and that terrifies you.

You don't want him to stop—fuck, you don't want him to stop, but you know neither of you will last long once he's inside you. The build-up was too intense and this entire night has you both wound up so tight, you could snap at any moment. 

You need to savor this. The way you failed to on your couch all those weeks ago, and might not get to ever again.

“Slow,” you tell him over your shoulder, and it's equal parts a command and a plea. If this is the last time, then you want to feel it. Every thick inch of him, while he still belongs to you. “Just…go slow.”

He nods, shifting forward almost imperceptibly so he can watch your lashes flutter as you brace for the stretch.

"Don't need’ta tell me. I know how ya like it," he replies gruffly.

He does. For now, you won’t overthink it or let yourself get lost in the nostalgia of his cock nestled inside you. You’ll just enjoy it. Sex with Joel has always been mind-blowing, and here, in a dirty alleyway, pressed up against the exterior of a bar, you bet it’ll be life-changing.

It stings like it always does when he breaches your entrance, no matter how wet you are for him. Together, you hiss in a sharp breath, mutually adjusting to the overwhelming stretch that quickly ebbs into something addictive.

"Tight as all goddamn hell," he mutters to himself, rocking into you languidly. He takes his time, relishing your walls enveloping him, mesmerized by the way you suck him in until he's buried to the hilt. 

"Would'ja look at that," he continues in awe, tracing where his cock is forcing you to yield to him. "Greedy fuckin' pussy, ain't she? M'not goin' anywhere, don't'chu worry. Gonna take care of ya...make ya feel so fuckin' good..."

He's starting to babble. Not good. Not good at all. 

Broad hands grip your ass, pulling your cheeks apart so he can see how tightly you’re gripping him, and it's too much. His hips buck, startling a pained whine out of you as he rams into that spot. The one deep inside you he can only reach when he’s fucking you from behind. Your cunt clenches, fighting to keep him there, and he growls low in his throat, hungry and territorial like a wild animal.

"There it is," he nudges it again, purposefully this time. You barely manage to bite back a sob as you gush messily around him. "Christ, honey, y'sure ya still want it slow? 'Cus it sure don't sound like it."

He's patronizing you. He knows exactly what he's doing—that's his spot. He also knows it makes you loud as fuck. But he wouldn’t. There’s no way he’d go back on his word, not after he promised he’d be discreet.

"Joel. Don't," you warn him shakily, but you're already too far gone to be intimidating. 

He pulls out until just the tip is still inside you, huffing out a distinctly calculated breath.

"Don't what? Don't make ya cum nice and loud on my cock? 'Fraid I can't do that, darlin'."

That's all the warning you get before he slams in hard. Your jaw drops, and you're positive you couldn't have stopped the wail punched out of your chest even if you'd tried.

Wrong. You’re wrong again, and you should’ve known better. It’s not the first time he’s gone back on his word, remember? Joel’s shitty lack of communication is why you’re here in the first place. Sure, he agreed to be quiet, but he never said anything about you.

He establishes a brutal pace that has you scrabbling against the wall for purchase and slapping a hand over your mouth in a futile attempt to muffle the desperate cries being forced from your body.

Please, don’t be outside. Please, please, Jesse. Don’t still be outside. 

But your luck's officially run out. 

Heavy mahogany crashes into solid brick, echoing down the alleyway, and a raucous group of people spills out onto the street, barely 30 feet from where your ass and tits are out for anyone to see. Then, the deep baritone of Jesse's voice cuts through the rest, and your blood immediately turns to ice. 

You're fucked. You're about to get caught and expose your secret to the entire town, except...Joel isn't stopping. Fuck, he's—

Yanking your entire body up and ripping your hand away from your mouth, rutting into you like he was just waiting for an audience. He snakes a hand up your stomach to palm at your chest, squeezing firmly to anchor himself as he fucks up into you with all the force he can muster.

And it turns you on so much, you finally stop caring. Fuck it. Fuck this town. Fuck everyone in that bar who made you feel like a goddamn pariah for months, crucifying you for the unforgivable sin of getting your heart broken. 

You hope his date's standing out there, too, so she can hear everything she'll never get to have. So they can all see that Joel Miller isn't the crushed, cruelly dumped old man they all thought he was.

Your moans ring out, loud and high-pitched, all but drowning out the messy slap of his hips into the drenched curve of your ass.

"That's it, darlin', let it all out," he chuckles darkly against the shell of your ear. Your next moan tapers into a drawn-out keen that he mimics, his thrusts getting shallow and sloppy. "S'for me, right? Let 'em know you're makin' all those pretty noises just for me."

Christ, you're close. And he's as close as you are, you can feel it. You turn your head, nodding jerkily into his shoulder.

"S'for you, Joel—mmph, just for you. Only for you," your words slur as he continues to bounce you on his cock. 

"Tell 'em you're mine, darlin’. Not just here," he pants raggedly, desperation coating his words. "Everywhere. You're mine everywhere."

The voices are getting closer, about to pass the mouth of the alley, and the ice in your veins quickly thaws, turning to molten lava. They'll definitely be able to able to hear you, but can they see you? For the umpteenth time tonight, you decide you really don't give a shit. You've got none left. You and Joel, that's all that matters now. 

His hand drops between your legs, thick fingers swirling tight, slick circles into your clit while he waits for you to confirm what he already knows. You've said it again and again—weeks ago, wrapped up in his arms, and earlier tonight, after the worst argument you've had since the breakup. 

And you’ll tell him again in this alley as you cum blindingly hard around his cock. Third time's the charm.

"Y-yours, Joel. I'm always yours."

His hips completely lose their rhythm, and he barely has time to breathe out his contentment before the violent convulsing of your cunt and contrasting serenity of your words send him hurtling over the edge.

"That's my girl."

He crashes his lips into yours, swallowing every noise you make as the group finally comes into view. Their drunken chattering and roughhousing aren't enough to draw your attention away from each other, but the depraved sounds of Joel continuing to fuck you through your release captures theirs almost immediately.

A few of them stop to squint into the darkness, trying their best to pinpoint what everyone already knows is happening further down the alley. As they inch closer, they can just barely make out two connected figures, and the wind carrying muffled gasps and labored breathing with it into the street all but confirms it.

"Y'all seein' this?" they whisper amongst themselves, but in the inebriated state they're in, they might as well be yelling.

And that's what pulls you and Joel back to reality. Shit. Shit. So, this is it, then. You tense in Joel's arms, waiting to get called out as the slutty girl who seduced her ex away from his date. Hell, they're not even wrong. You can feel his cum dribbling out of you, and can't help but think maybe you'd deserve it.

From where you're standing, you recognize each and every one of their faces under the string lights, and you know damn well that none of them can keep their mouths shut. Except...wait a second. They're still glancing back and forth between you and Joel in the shadows and each other. 

Oh. The fucking shadows. None of them can see shit. They have no clue who the hell they're looking at. Joel must've caught on around the same time you did, because now he's backing up, putting more distance between you and the looming crowd. Before they can get any closer, one of the younger guys cuts in front to block their path.

“C’mon, it's probably a couple’a teenagers. Just let ‘em be," he drawls, glancing back at you. Your eyes lock, and you're suddenly so grateful, you could cry. It's Jesse. He shoots you a wink before turning back to the group, shaking his head in mock admonishment. "Don't act like y'all weren't doin' the same damn thing at their age."

By some miracle, it fucking works. They all laugh in agreement, appeased by Jesse's quick thinking. One by one, they follow each other out of the alley and back onto the road to continue their original path home. Jesse lingers. 

"Glad y'all figured things out," he calls out over his shoulder, giving you privacy to tug your shirt back up. He clears his throat awkwardly before continuing, "Look, I, uh...distracted as many people as I could from comin' over here, but if y'all were gonna be that loud, maybe you should'a figured things out at home."

Jesse shakes his head again, chuckling to himself as he shoves his hands into his pockets.

"Anyway, y'all have a good night, now. Get home safe."

As he jogs away to catch up with the rest of the group, you start to laugh, too. You can’t help it. It feels cathartic, relieving some of the tension of this overly eventful night.

Joel’s body begins to shake behind you, his chest rumbling with what you realize is deep-bellied laughter. It gradually increases in volume as it melds seamlessly with yours; transitory, white clouds of condensation that intertwine, then dissipate.

You feel him slip out as he starts to soften, and then he turns you to face him, carefully crowding you into the wall. He kisses you again, this time slow and deliberate like you asked him to earlier. His tongue meets yours, gasps exchanged and treasured like you have all the time in the world. 

When he parts from you, it feels reluctant, but he stays close, whispering his next words against your lips.

“M’gonna get ya cleaned up, alright?” he mumbles, dropping his arm from around your waist to run his fingers up the cum leaking down your thighs. You shiver as they continue up, slipping his release back inside you. “Don’t…,” he continues, squeezing his eyes shut as his forehead drops to yours, “…just—don’t go anywhere. Please. I’ll be right back.”

Maybe he’s trying to protect himself from the response he anticipates you’ll give him, but that seems silly after everything you’ve been through tonight. You cup his cheek and thumb the coarse, trimmed hairs of his beard, willing him to open his eyes. He does, hesitantly, one then the other, and you offer him a soft smile.

“I’m not going anywhere, Joel.”

An intoxicating breath fans across your face, and the taut muscles in his neck and shoulders loosen. His lips match the soft quirk of your own and, then, brush fleetingly against your cheekbone as he backs away and disappears through a metal side door you didn't notice before. The moment it clicks shut, you slump against the wall. 

Christ. Your mind is simultaneously blank and racing a mile a minute. Taking a deep breath, you let your head thunk into solid, grounding brick while you wait for even a single coherent thought to take root. What now? What happens next? 

There's no coming back from tonight. You both made choices you'll have to answer for, but, for some reason, that doesn't seem so scary anymore. The clock is ticking, but there's time. Plenty of it.

You're still lost in your reverie when Joel gets back with a thick wad of damp paper towels. You snort at the idea of him suddenly appearing in Seth's kitchen and having to explain himself, but maybe the racket you kicked up right outside his door was explanation enough.

"Seth didn't give you any shit for stealing his stuff?" you ask as Joel drops to his knees and coaxes one of your legs over his shoulder.

The cold air has already started to leach the warmth from the paper towels, and they feel cool as he slides them along your soiled skin. He huffs out a laugh.

"Nah, the kitchen was empty. Think they're startin' to close up for the night." 

When he finishes your first thigh, he surprises you by leaning in to press a soft kiss against your freshly cleaned skin. He nips at you teasingly before starting on the next one.

You hum in response, threading your fingers through his hair and watching fondly as he pays careful attention to his task. He continues to wipe away his drying release, trailing his lips down your thigh as he goes, until he finishes at your knee.

He gazes up at you with a charmingly crooked grin, and that’s when it finally slips out. The single coherent thought you’ve been waiting for.

“I love you, Joel,” you murmur, brushing your fingertips across his cheek. 

His smile falters. Then, it drops completely and your heart shatters. You don’t understand. But that—no. No, it doesn’t make any fucking sense. After everything that’s happened, how could you have been wrong again?

Joel sighs, grimacing as he slowly gets back up. He braces himself on one knee, clearly aching more than he's letting on, but when you reach down to offer him a hand, he refuses your help.

“S’fine, I got it. Just…,” he gestures to your jeans, still hanging loosely around your knees. You pull them up, fighting not to feel humiliated as he rises to his full height. 

You search his eyes for…something. Anything. Any indication of what he’s feeling right now, but they’re blank. Cold and distant, just like they were the night he left you. 

No. He doesn’t get to do this to you again. Not after everything you’ve been through. Not without an explanation. Not if he doesn’t want to lose you forever.

“Tell me why you broke up with me."

For a long time, you genuinely believed you could live without knowing the truth, but somewhere along the line, it began to eat away at you. Now, you want the real reason. He owes you that, at the very least.

You wait while he either works himself up to it or tries to figure out what bullshit to tell you this time. Once his hands settle on his hips, you know with absolute certainty it's the latter.

“Darlin’…,” he starts wearily, but you shoot him a look that stops him in his tracks. He doesn't get to call you that right now, and he knows it. Pausing, he nods grimly before beginning again. "We already talked about this. I’m no good for ya. It was only a matter of time before ya woke up one day and realized it for yourself.”

There it is. That same bullshit reason. You scoff bitterly, not surprised in the slightest.

“What the fuck does that even mean, Joel? We were together for years. If that was gonna happen, don’t you think it would’ve already?" you counter angrily. 

You're trying not to get emotional. This can't be a repeat of what happened last time, but it's dragging up too many painful memories. It's always the same fight. You can't do this anymore.

"You know what? Fuck you," you seethe as your self-control slips completely. "Fuck you for making that decision for me. You had no right."

At your words, his face crumples and he has the nerve to look ashamed. Maybe even a little hurt. His pained expression makes your heart ache, yet a nastier part of you believes it's only fair that he feels this way, too. He sighs, his eyes dropping wistfully to his feet.

“I did what I thought was best," he mumbles quietly as if he doesn't want to be heard. It's hard for him to say this out loud, and you realize it's because he's finally telling you the truth. "I just…I thought you’d be happier with someone else, someone who could give ya a family. Kids. I gave you up so you could have the life ya always wanted."

You eye him incredulously. The life you always wanted? Sure, you and Joel had toyed with the idea of having a family once upon a time, but that was never a dealbreaker. He should've known that. He should've brought it up before deciding to destroy your life together over an idealized fantasy.

“Oh, here we go. Joel, the fucking savior. Mr. Fix-It, swooping in to save everyone and solve every problem," you hurl back venomously. But it was a cruel thing to say, and you immediately hate yourself for it.

Rationally, you know his intentions were kind. He probably even thought he was being selfless. But he hurt you, and, through your tunnel vision, that's all you can see. You push yourself off the wall, stalking closer to where he stands, still refusing to look at you.

"So what, you thought you’d dump me and I’d immediately shack up with some other asshole? Is that really what you think of me?”

His eyes shoot up to yours and his fingers begin to tap restlessly at his sides. Now, you've pissed him off. 

“Don't go puttin’ words in my mouth. That ain’t true and you fuckin’ know it," he all but growls, his body shaking with a turbulent combination of frustration and adrenaline.

You're starting to feel it, too. This conversation is overwhelming both of you, but he still hasn't told you everything. There's a piece missing, keeping all of his disjointed reasonings from adding up. He's holding back and it's time for him to stop.

“Then what is, Joel?" you plead with him to give you a definitive answer. One that finally explains why you had to lose everything. Ellie, your home. The love of your life. "What’s the truth?"

Then, everything he's kept bottled up inside and allowed to poison his happiness claws its way out as a single, unwavering statement. 

“I’m too fuckin’ old for you!”

The silence that follows his admission is deafening. You watch in shock as he runs a hand through his hair in frustration. He's never yelled like that before or looked so defeated. By something as innocuous as his age. 

It isn't something you'd ever considered, not before your relationship and never once during. But he did. His bottom lip starts to tremble as he turns and takes a few steps away from you.

“Every day, I’d watch ya…offerin’ to take more shifts, spendin’ time at the school with Ellie and the kids," he says softly, shaking his head as he works through his next words. "And every day, I’d feel it. My body givin’ out on me, more and more. My blood pressure’s up, my goddamn knees are creakin’. Couldn’t even fuckin’ stand up on my own just now." 

When he turns back to you, his eyes are wet with unshed tears. He feels too far, but you know you can't go to him, yet. He's not finished.

"You can do better than that. You deserve better than that," his voice cracks and your whole world blurs into a wash of colors. “You’re gonna outlive me by a mile. I’m an old man, darlin’. It wasn’t fair for me to keep ya.”

For a while, you just watch each other. Tears overflow and continuously spill down his cheeks and yours, but neither of you moves to wipe them away. 

None of this is fair. You're both miserable and heartbroken, perpetually yearning for a love you've told yourselves you can't have. Months ago, Joel made a choice for both of you. You won't make the same mistake he did.

"I didn't want fair, Joel. I wanted you. A life with you...," your face screws up as you fight back a sob, "...the rest of my life with you, however long that is."

Joel takes a tentative step forward, carefully reaching out to touch you, but stops himself before he can get too close. He looks afraid...of you. Scared of the consequences of allowing you back into his heart. 

A sob escapes your chest, then, and you wrap your arms around yourself, suddenly bitterly cold and wanting nothing more than for Joel to hold you. To tell you for the first time since the breakup that he loves you and, regardless of time, won't ever stop.

So, you cross the alleyway and cup his wet cheeks in your hands, wiping away his sadness and, hopefully, his fears. He melts into the poignant familiarity of your touch and it makes you brave. This time, you'll be brave enough for both of you.

"Don't I deserve that?" you whisper, close enough to share his next breath. He watches your lips, hanging onto your every word. "Don't you?" 

His eyes meet yours, and it finally happens. The moment Joel gives in and decides to let himself be happy. He nods slowly in your grasp, reaching up to cradle your hand on his cheek. 

"Dunno what I deserve, darlin'. Not after the things I've done and the hurt I put ya through. But if I'm...if this is really what ya want...," he hesitates, his voice thick with tears and, yet, still that full-bodied, twang that sounds like home. "I'm yours. 'Til my last breath, I'm yours."

He kisses you before either of you can start crying again, and it's all there. The love he kept under lock and key to protect you, released from the prison of his own making.

His kiss feels different again. There's no hunger or rush, and the possessiveness—the need to devour everything you have to give so there's nothing left for anyone else—is gone. He's sure, now, that there's no one else you'd rather give yourself to.

His arms circle your waist and he pulls you closer, crushing you into time-worn chambray and sullied denim as you continue to explore each other like a pair of horny teenagers. Two lovers learning to give and take for the first time. Time passes slowly in this space you've carved out for yourselves, even as the moon continues to rise in the night sky and floods the corridor with light. 

Then, noisily and as if right on cue, the last-call crowd stumbles from the bar and immediately catches what the previous group missed. You and Joel separate, dazed but unhurried, to find that it's them. 

It has to be fucking kismet that, of everyone in Jackson, the first to witness your reconciliation would be the biggest blabbermouths in the entire town. The same women who talked shit about you every day for months and constantly vied for Joel's attention, standing there with wide eyes and slack jaws.

Their varied expressions almost make you want to laugh, and you can't help but snort unattractively into Joel's shoulder. Half of them are glaring at you, and the rest look either devastated or genuinely surprised. Guess you were better at hiding your arrangement than you thought, not that it matters anymore. It's a relationship again, and everyone's about to know all about it. Joel clears his throat, drawing their attention back to him.

"Evenin', ladies. S'there somethin' we can help ya with?" he drawls, breaking out the Southern charm that endeared every single one of them to him in the first place.

They all shake their heads, looking a little too pleased with themselves once the initial shock wears off and they realize you've just given them the gossip of the century. After a few fake, high-pitched pleasantries, they slink away as quickly as they came, already chatting to themselves about some shit you'll definitely hear tomorrow at breakfast. You watch them go, feeling oddly liberated.

"Guess the cat's outta the bag, huh?" You wrap your arms loosely around his neck, still chuckling softly to yourself. Joel huffs out a laugh, too, bending down to kiss the crown of your head before nodding in agreement.

"'Fraid so," he muses, amusement and a hint of something lighter glinting in his eyes. 

You haven't seen him this relaxed in a long time. As he holds you in his arms, he leans a fraction of his weight on you to ease the night's strain on his back and knees, and it makes you feel needed. Relied on. That's new, Joel depending on you like this. Things are going to be different this time around, you can tell. They already are. 

You hum, ruminating on what awaits you after your first night back in your own bed, in your own home. What everyone will think and say—to your face and behind your back—when they find out you're back together. Though, the only opinions you give a shit about are Ellie, Tommy, and Maria's, anyway.

So, yeah, you're a lot of things right now: exhausted, yet relieved and so full of hope. But you're not afraid, the cat and the bag be damned.

"I'm not," you tell him honestly as you pull away. You let your hands trail from his shoulders, down his arms, until his hands are in yours. 

Tugging gently, you walk him backward out of the alley, away from the bar and plummeting winter chill, and any lingering, prying eyes. Even the moon and stars have no stake in what comes next. This moment, right here and now, belongs to you and Joel, alone.

"Take me home, Joel."

The light in his eyes burns brighter, amusement giving way to adoration and contentment. He's been waiting for this, to be given the privilege of keeping you safe and taking care of you the way he needs to—it's how he shows love. 

He slots his fingers between yours and leads you down the empty streets of Jackson. 

"Darlin', nothin' would make me happier."

thanks for reading!

[jymwahuwu]

The jealousy noncon with Jing Yuan post is a scrumptious idea bc like I'm knowledgeable about sex, more so than my friends who have had sex,

This old man (affectionate) would be able to tell the reader is a virgin just how they react to any stimulation but now he's not gonna stop because he'll be their first (and preferably last) cause there's no way in hell he'll let anyone else take any of their firsts

And knowing Jing Yuan he'll manipulate the reader to believe that they wanted this

CW: yandere, non-con, forced breeding, humiliation, thoughts about virginity

Original idea: you, who pretended to be experienced in sex, were non-con by a jealous Jing Yuan, and he found out that you were a virgin...

🤭🫣😌Mmmmm wonderful yandere thoughts surrounding the concept of virginity… yes, just like you said. And Jing Yuan can quickly realize this. Once the jealous Jing Yuan finds out you are a virgin, how funny he will find it and return his affection…

Virginity is just a concept established by society. The concept of virginity must be different on all planets (ah, you heard that people on some planets lose their virginity when their tentacles touch other people's thighs…), what about your planet? You might mind what people think! So you just claim you've had sexual experience and brag about it.

Or, you don't care about the pressure of "how old should you be to have sex", and you already have understanding of sex, but you still lied in front of this Xianzhou general. You lied and suggested that you had sexual experience.

Why? The reason is… the way that general looks at you is a bit creepy, clingy and sweet, but occasionally he stares at his prey like a hunter standing at the top of the food chain. You kind of want to get out of this situation. It would be a simple way to show that you already have a "lover" or "experience".

Sure, it's nice to be exposed immediately, but what if it was a little more dramatic? What if Jing Yuan was deceived by you? This cat general was scammed into buying a lion as a pet after all. Are you pretending to casually reveal that you've had sex with your ex, with your friends, or a one-night stand, or anyone else besides him? You vaguely revealed that it feels pretty good…

An ill-advised lie. The development of the situation is completely beyond your expectation.

Before this, Jing Yuan thought that he was open-minded and tolerant and didn't care about your previous experiences. This is your freedom and your past, isn't it? But, hearing you mention those previous "experiences"…He…

Jing Yuan is used to facing situations out of control. He doesn't panic, just disappears with a little smile on his lips. "Is that so?" He tilted his head. "How about you come closer to me?" After you refused, the general swoop in, put one hand on your body, and looked down at you. The usual golden eyes carrying starlight were replaced by… jealousy?

He didn't restrain you, but you were too frightened to move.

"What…what do you want to do?"

A test has revealed your "truth." Those hands caress and rub your private parts - you tremble, panic, blink, sensitive and unskilled reaction. Jing Yuan originally only planned to give you a more intense orgasm than "before", but your reaction cleared up some of the fog for him. Something amiss was confirmed. Are you...a virgin? The general mocks you so mercilessly that you punch him with your cheeks burning and your eyes filled with tears. It was really funny to him to think of you showing off your experience. As the rough cock presses into you and stirs the inside, Jing Yuan gently shushes you in your ear and promises you not to talk about it with others.

Then the next day Jing Yuan spread the word to people you know that you slept with him and that you are his only and final spouse now uwu

And there's a punishment!! Since you like "bragging" about your sexual experiences so much, you don't mind this, do you? For the next week, Jing Yuan won't penetrate you, but masturbates in front of you, rubbing and stroking his thick, warm cock between your thighs. At the moment when the cock is about to ejaculate, it will insert into you and fill you up with cream, without any thrusting. Even if you twitch and whimper Jing Yuan won't give you the thrust you want. The way that suits you uwu

[onesidedradiostatic]

aromantic alastor headcanons for aro-week (with some ace in there as well, because I think for alastor those things are so entwined, it's hard to separate them):

tried going out with girls a couple of times when he was alive, to make his mother happy, but always found a way to extricate himself from the attachment. this ties into his learning how to have complete control over any situation he's in

I wonder as well about whether or not he "passed" as white, or whether his community knew that he was creole, and how that affected his dating opportunities, and his paranoia, his need to be in control, basically his constant hyper-vigilance

got a lot of fanmail for his radio host work, women (and men, but more furtively) loooved his voice. this was acceptable, because (apart from some of the weirder ones) he could use this as a metric for how accepted he was in society, as well as how well he was passing -- both in terms of race and orientation, but also youknow, as someone who is definitely not clockable as a serial killer

although of course we know he also enjoyed company. he'd go out drinking and dancing a lot. was mimzy a bit in love with him? I just like the idea that people kept being incredibly taken with his charm and his politeness and his poise, because he does have all those traits. whether he notices...? (no). I mention this point not so much as headcanon, I just like that alastor as aroace and repulsed on both of those points, was never a shut-in about it. he's always been very lively (ha) and outgoing, and clearly likes being in the company of others... but maybe that last point has gotten to be a little difficult during his time in hell, due to having to be so careful about showing any kind of emotional "weakness." speaking of...

post-death became a more extreme version of himself -- that is, a man on a mission to be in control and create emotional distance between himself and others through the power of voice, rather than having to faff about pretending emotional connections where there were none. very suited for hell because of his precarious political lived reality whilst alive, and because hell is built on who has power and who doesn't. these are rituals he understands better than the strange romantic ones during life

the smile as mask and unhealthy coping mechanism -- wonder if when he was alive people swooned over his having a lovely smile (as well as its being useful to placate and to disorient people who had more violent intentions, and in both cases potentially to lure in victims). so the smile likewise became the most extreme version of itself. the smile in essence as the signifier of someone who doesn't fit into any boxes and needs to hide that fact, both by being mixed race and aroace, but then the smile itself becomes something that effectively owns him, because he literally cannot let it drop, ever (honestly if alastor ever stops smiling, it'll be the biggest gasp moment on this show)

all that being said, surprising connections do occur: rosie, I think, sees through him from the beginning, and she's so disarming (ha, disarming... cannibal joke) that she never feels like a threat + they're both cannibals, so there's a relaxed kinship there and maybe she reminds him of the parts of home he (secretly) misses a bit

I wonder how rosie figured out that alastor wasn't into dating. I think at first she might have thought he was gay, but then quite quickly seen that that's not it, he doesn't even like men much, and she feels like she's been around the block enough to piece together peoples' natures from one of a million other people she's known, so way before she knows the terminology, she knows, and crucially, she never judges or tries to force the point

I wonder how vox and alastor met -- whether vox was able to gain power on his own and this attracted alastor's attention, or if alastor saw something of himself (that turned out to be surface level) in vox, that is, they both wear smiles as masks, they're both presenters, their mediums may be different, but their aims feel similar. perhaps alastor was comfortable enough in hell at this point -- probably in a way he never was whilst alive -- that he was feeling magnanimous towards what must have felt a bit like an upstart. and most importantly, the constraints of alloromantic ideas are a comfortable 20 years in the past by now, alastor can barely remember that this was ever anything that was expected of him, or that others' could possibly feel about him

cue vox falling head over heels, the way people so often did while he was alive, and he... does not notice at all (barely a headcanon). I kind of feel like I don't have much to say on these two, because this blog is already a treasure trove of vox and alastor hcs!

I think rosie is the only one who knows alastor is aroace, although... maybe husk? not in so many words, but he knows alastor isn't interested in those things. nifty Does Not Notice Nor Care (in a good way). charlie i will forever think will at some point do a deep-dive on modern queer lingo and get everyone flags (this is practically word of god canon considering that older piece of art you shared). vox definitely doesn't know. val....... sort of kinda knows but in an evil way. vaggie does not care, but she'd be chill about it. mimzy... I don't think knows, mainly because she never cared to think about his behaviours, as someone who's quite self-centered on what alastor is to her. jeez, who am i missing... angel, does not know, head empty

speaking of angel, I think if he ever found out, especially with where he's at in his journey rn, would be very unhappy in some way about having stepped over his boundaries so often so casually at the beginning. dunno how he'd act about it, but i like the idea of vigilantly (and crudely, and bluntly) supportive angel if they ever manage to get alastor out on the town. more on the ace side of things but i can see him going: "do not try to fuck this guy! this guy is unfuckable!"

(i like hypersexual and deeply romantic angel + sex and romance repulsed alastor as unlikely friendship in my head. opposites finding common ground type stuff is always good)

at the end of the day, alastor living and dying in an amatonormative world and having to orient himself within that by building walls that persist/worsen after his death because of the culture of hell being predicated on who controls whom, veeeeery slowly discovering that he can be vulnerable on his own terms without people demanding things from him that he cannot give (smthinsmthin the hotel gang as the opposite of vox in that sense -- not only that sense, but also that)

also something about imagining his mother hoping he'd find a nice girl and settle down (in the way parents often do, because that's the metric of happiness right.....) and how he never could give her what she wanted, and maybe feels some very locked away guilt about that, which he thinks he'll never be able to deal with because his mother is in heaven, but perhaps in this story she'll get to see what he's built with the people at the hotel and that's really all she wanted for him in the end

OH MY GOD ANON THIS IS ALL SO GOOD?? THANK YOU SO MUCH HAHAHA. happy aro week everyone!! (x2)

[running-with-kn1ves]

PUNISHMENT: A Reward

A/N: Decided to name our ‘PUNISHMENT’ fic boy Malachi, lemme know if this is a win or a fat L my scrumptious pogchamps. ALSO happy valentines day! (Posting this early let me be)

CW: Toxic relationship, possessive/obsessive behavior, suggestive themes, mentioning future seggsual acts/fantasies

Synopsis: Out on a group date for Valentine's Day with your possessive, jealousy-ridden boyfriend is never a good idea, especially when he finds the special surprise you’re wearing for him.

“Hrmm… seems like they have a lot of Valentine's themed stuff on the menu.” 

“Well it IS the season! No other reason for it being so packed in here...” One of your friends across the table perked up, slightly annoyed at the stuffy atmosphere.

She was right, every table was filled, every booth full of chattering couples or first blind dates, even double or thruple dates just like the one you were on. 

You were lucky your friend's boyfriend had managed to snag this place a week in advance, else you might be thigh to thigh with everyone else in a tinier booth. Ha, as if YOUR boyfriend would allow that; you'd probably be on the edge of the shared booth seat, nearly falling off just to save you from being ‘too close’ to anyone else, even your own friends. 

“Annoying… I don't get why going out on Valentine's Day is so important, what happened to dates in the privacy of your own home.” Said the devil you were thinking of, that comment nudging to how he was far more in favor of spending a “romantic” evening home alone with you instead of being here with your two friends and their spouses. 

“Awe, is puppy dog Malachi upset he has to share? We planned this weeks in advance, so suck it up, we have a right to see OUR friend tonight.” That same friend hissed. 

Your other friend nodded. He would’ve added on, if it weren’t for the death stare your boyfriend was currently drilling into everyone else across the table. You hadn’t been out in a group setting like this in… who knows how long.

“Oh, really? Don’t fucking--”

“C’mon you guys,” You grabbed onto Malachi’s thigh, a tight squeeze making him stop in his angry tracks to look down.”I’m here right now, shouldn’t we be catching up, not fighting? I missed you, missed this.” 

Your sincerity seemed to ease them up, a flash of contrition on your female friend’s face. She hated your boyfriend, clearly, wearing a scowl when she turned back to Mr. moody himself. He rested his face on his palm, looking at the other couples every now and again, always keeping a short glance at you out of the corner of his eye to make sure you weren’t having too much fun. 

One of the spouses --you had forgotten the name of by now after the evening’s short introductions-- had begun talking, complaining about coworkers or customers, one or the other. 

Wow, has it been so long that your friends have completely different lives now, new people that they spend their time with that you weren’t even told about? Well, its not like you’ve exactly been open to receiving that kind of news, or able to be, with so little time to make phonecalls lately, your phone always seeming to disappear, phone numbers no longer existing in your contacts… it was truly a miracle you managed to have this outing, and Malachi thought so too. 

“I swear if she prods at me again,” Your jealous guard dog of a boyfriend started, hand clenching the red, heart-embroidered table cloth.

“Take it easy, okay? I know you don’t want to be here but-- just do it a little longer, for me. Thats what we agreed, right?”

You took his hand in yours, bringing up his clenched fist to your lips. You thanked the skies that physical affection always seemed to drown out his fiery temper. You wondered how much longer that’d last. 

“Fine. But I can’t stand looking at them anymore, come ‘ere.” Malachi patted his thigh, hands moving to your hips to help bring you to your new seat. 

“Seriously? We’re in a.. A nice restaurant, with my friends--”

He gave you a knowing look, one that said ‘if you don’t listen, i’ll drag your ass back to the car without the pleasure of friendly goodbyes.’ 

You didn’t know if you could handle the embarrassing shit he put you through anymore. It tested the strength of your will and the integrity of your soul at this point. 

You did as he demanded, slowly making your way to sit on the edge of his lap. Most of those around you didn’t seem to notice, an occasional glance looking to see what you were doing, but ultimately going back to the lively story of one of the nameless significant others. You tried to hover above him, afraid to fully commit to sitting down on top of him, but a small ‘what are you doing’ and forced downward push of your hips made your butt make soft contact with his lap. 

“That’s right… that’s better.” He cleared his throat, putting one arm around your waist and the other on your knee. You directly blocked his view, your boyfriend not moving to see the rest of the group, instead leaning against you like a perfectly shaped body pillow. 

“Can’t you atleast act normal? Don’t you have any shame around other people,” You whispered, knowing that one of your friends was reading the uncomfortable expression on your face and was in turn, giving a similar expression of discomfort. 

“Hey, you know how bad I can be, this isn’t even the worst of it. You want me to really embarrass you?” 

A waiter  broke the quiet spat you were having with him, asking if you’d like another drink. He didn’t acknowledge the man behind you, either out of not seeing him or to purposefully avoid the dark eyes digging into his soul behind your shoulder. 

You croaked out a polite “yes please,” looking for your friend’s fellow responses. They all answered in kind, the waiter scurrying away to another busy set of tables. 

Malachi scoffed, coiling around you tighter. 

“D’you see that? I knew we shouldn’t have come out here, in front of prying eyes… bet he’s hit on every other pretty thing he’s seen walk in here, so don’t get any ideas.” 

 You almost turned around to gawk at your boyfriend, such an insensitive and insecure string of words wounding you. 

“I would never..” 

You almost let him ruin the rest of your evening, the dreadful pit of wanting to go home entering your tired mind. But you promised yourself you’d try to make an effort in repairing your friendships, attempting to memorialize your friend’s smiles and laughs, trying to come up with the names of their spouses you had just heard a half hour ago. If you wouldn’t see them again for a while, atleast you could have this. 

And with the two-second memory your boyfriend often displayed,(except for when it came to your “betrayals”) he was enamored with something new. 

“Oh, what do we have here…” Malachi tip-toed down the elastic waistband of your pants, looking at the lacey red lingerie underneath. It wasn’t hard to spot, not when it was a drastic change from your usual tame undergarments. Well, tame for him, he had seen them all at this point. 

You wouldn’t have noticed his prodding peculiarity if it weren’t for that worrying heightened pitch in his voice, one that always started trouble. Fingers nipping your tummy and around your wrist weren’t unusual, you had become accustomed to it from how he pawed at you at home, never seeming satisfied, but this, wasn’t the usual lack of personal space.

“Hey! You weren’t supposed to see that.” You slapped his hand away, having which already gotten a full touch of the goods you were hiding. 

“What is that supposed to mean--” Malachi started, and you knew he was about to expect the worst. You shut him up as fast as you could. 

“It’s supposed to be for tonight, idiot!” You whispered with a harsh tone, starting to get fed up with his childish reactions, which always seemed to jump to conclusions. “...Did you forget that it’s Valentine’s day or what?”

You barely let the words escape from between your teeth, not wanting to admit the silent internet escapade you went on to find something that wouldn’t tear your ass in half or be so tight you’d be left with more marks from it than him. But even so, after the sneaking around in trying to catch the package before he could and clearing out your emails as soon as possible, he still managed to see it before you had planned. 

Now, you wondered if it was worth it, with the lace itching your chest and the other giving you a wedgie. 

“awe.. no way, for me? All for me?” Malachi was promptly sweet on you, much different than the heel-biting mood he was in a short few minutes ago. 

You leaned back to get close to his ear, shifting your eyes anxiously. You really didn’t want your friends to know about the violently ravenous side of your boyfriend that wouldn’t stop him from making a scene about it here and now, which you anxiously tried to prepare for in case of the worst. “It’s for when we get back home…so lets just enjoy our time here, just sit still with me for a little longer.” You tried your usual ‘gentle parenting’ method, holding the heavy knuckles around your waist, to soothe him into letting you spend just a little bit longer with your friends.

Malachi kicked his feet, exasperating at this newfound interest and the ways he could torture you with it, could make you beg him for its secrecy. Oh how he could envision having you at his mercy, so cute and sexy but ultimately deserving punishment for going behind his back about something so temptatious, something another man could see and take if he weren’t there.  

“But now, baby I don’t know if I can wait.” He grinned, raking his teeth over his bottom lip so much it looked like it hurt. You felt him shift underneath you, leaning up to grind against your backside. “Man, you really should’ve hid it better, ‘cause now its all I can think about..”

You rolled your eyes, feeling his heavy exhale against your cheek. Your friends were too immersed in their own conversations with their loved ones to notice anything else, legs strewn over one another and fingers interlocked as they felt the cheap haze of their Sweetheart Cocktail’s and Rosé’s of Love. You would’ve much preferred to be tipsy along with them by now, but the truth is you were too nervous with the possessive man beside you to truly let loose anywhere other than alone. On top of that, the scolding you’d get from him for being so relaxed was not worth the extra headache. 

And yet, the wanton expression he held for you, the hands that fiddled to get deep and play with his surprise, made you feel so wanted. More wanted than your friends had  made you feel this evening. They just looked at you with concerned frowns and confused cocks of their heads as they questioned to why you were still with this crazed maniac. 

“What I would do to bend you over in front of these idiots, make you do more than say my name while wearing these adorable lacey little--” 

“Don’t tell me you’re already thinking of heading out.” Your female friend piped up, looking at the credit card Malachi put on top of the split receipt that has been sitting lonesome for a good while. 

He almost broke, annoyed at the sudden interruption. 

“Afraid so,” Your anticipating boyfriend gleamed, not even her sour attitude dampening the rising excitement in his perverted mind and tightening pants. “We have some other plans to attend to.”

“What could be more important than friends?” She asked, looking at you to advocate against your controlling spouse. 

You felt a greedy palm reach up your shirt, falling back down to paw for the thin garment below your waistline. 

“If we don’t go now.. I don’t know how much longer I can wait. Can’t promise that I won’t  rip these fucking shorts off you here to see what all is underneath.” He whispered against you through gritted teeth, barely able to stop from kissing you raw. 

“We’ll stay… just until the waiter comes back for his tip.” You choked out, not letting on about the roll of Malachi’s hips that pressed you up against the table. 

[justalia]

The Self

i haven’t been here in a while and i’ve been exploring the law more and more, gaining even more insight.

i know i haven’t been active as much as i was before but as i said i will come on here to write about what i feel needs to be shared instead of just yapping and sharing things i don’t feel strongly about or just repeat myself.

this is a concept that has been discussed and talked about by many, me included. i personally have always wondered a lot about this, i have understood the concept in theory and applied it too but never managed to live by it, until now.

“The Inner Man”

this is how most of us know the concept i’m talking about, this is the name we’ve all collectively given it. i bet you’ve read the phrase “you are the inner man” several times, hell i have preached it several times.

i think thinking of it in this way sometimes tends to create separation between “you” (the human you) and the you in imagination. at least that’s how i felt when i first read about it last year when i was first approaching the law, even if that’s not what the people who write about it are trying to say.

the idea we’ve all seen repeated over and over by bloggers is that the real you is in imagination and you should identify with the inner man and satisfy your desire with the feeling of having said desire because “that’s what you actually want”.

and that’s partially true.

the inner man’s concept in the way that it is worded inevitably creates separation and makes you believe there’s two entities, the physical you and the one in imagination and that you have to put effort into identifying with the one inside or just “have faith” that it is true.

i don’t know about you but both effort and blind belief have given me problems in the long run because the truth is that you need to study this and understand it for yourself to truly know what this means. knowing something requires no effort and no belief, you just KNOW it is like that and nothing can move you from that. same as knowing the sky is blue, you don’t just “believe” it, nor it requires effort for you to identify the sky as blue, you just know it.

Q. but i can see the sky is blue! i know it is blue because i have proof.

knowing doesn’t always necessarily require physical proof, it can just require understanding and realization and that is what i want you to achieve at the end of this post.

you need to get to a point of knowing you are the one inside and not just “trusting” it or believing it because that is what everyone tells you to do, if you don’t sit on the concept and realize it for yourself blind belief will only take you so far. i suggest you’d do your own research and study everything that inspires you in this law, there’s several places where you can find the source and believe me when i tell you no blogger can be as helpful as your own realizations.

as all feelings of separation, even this separation between the imaginal you and the human body will inevitably bring you troubles in the long run. believing that they are both you will bring confusion and fears inevitably arise. you feel anxiety, you have fearful thoughts and you freak out because as long as you believe it is you, you will inevitably assign it a meaning and that will lead you to think it has some impact on you and you don’t have any control over what happens.

you will start to think that since you had this thought it means you are “out of the state” so it will affect your “manifestation”, you’ll start to think that anything you imagine takes life and expresses without you having any real control over it. you will start to think you are the thoughts, the feelings, the states and you will start to desperately try to control them and/or yourself or better what you believe to be yourself.

you will feel you are your mind and have no control over it, you will lose the safety you once felt inside of imagination and you will not feel alone inside of it.

Self

the Self i’m talking about is the real you and the only one.

sit back in a comfortable position and relax for a few moments, try to quiet the mind, observe the thoughts, drop the judgements.

who am i?

ask yourself this question.

let thoughts come and observe them.

who is observing? your Self.

are you the thoughts or are you the one observing them?

are you the fears or are you observing them?

are you the anxiety or are you observing it?

are you the body or are you observing it?

are you the mind or are you observing it?

are you the thing perceived or the perceiver?

who is that?

The Self.

the one and only self.

there is no imaginal you and physical you. you are the perceiver of all things, you are the dreamer. there is no “i must look for the feeling because that’s how things get expressed” there is no feeling to look for, no effort put into fulfilling one Self whatsoever because once you’ve realized who you are that’s only natural to experience what you want inside, there is no craving for outside validation because the body is not who you are.

the Self inside has experienced it and that’s the only thing you will crave because You have experienced it.

i’m not gonna tell you it won’t take a tiiiiny bit of “effort” AT FIRST to identify with your real Self whenever you’re involved with the ego, because we have habits and habits such as identifying with the ego are not immediately let go of. but i don’t even wanna call it effort because once you hit the realization of who you really are you will WANT to go back to that, it will inevitably feel wrong to identify with the ego because even if comfortable you’ve realized that is not you, it will feel temporary whenever you go back to being the ego.

you don’t need to intentionally identify with the “inner self” aka the only identity you have, you are unlimited consciousness CHOOSING to identify with the ego and the body.

IT’S NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.

that’s why you struggle with this. because you think you have to do something to identify with the self when you simply already are, you just let go of the ego identity you’re so desperate for right now.

[demonslayedher]

Low-Key Married AU fluff

Kochou said that I was disliked, so I asked her if she disliked me too. For someone so quick to have a smiling response to everything, she struggled to reply. She was the one who proposed marriage and swayed me, so I had thought that meant she had feelings for me. There would be no other way to read it. However, with as unbothered as she is by my absence, I have to wonder.

It’s been ten days since I had last contact with her. I went home to the Butterfly Mansion, but she had just departed for a mission, so I didn’t stay long so as not to trouble the girls. It may still be a few days before I can return again, but it’s always likely she’ll be busy. She’s incredible in that way, taking on all the care of our injured Corp members in addition to her Pillar missions. It must be in her personality to keep adding to what keeps her busy, like taking me in as though I looked like I needed the care. Although the times we’ve spent together have been nice, I don’t require it. My duties call for me to always be ready for battle, and I’ve always kept my heart steady.

So has she. We are Pillars first, and no amount of affection can sway us—whether an abundance or a lack.

I’m not bothered by lacking something I didn’t deserve in the first place.

Last night again, I was too late to prevent a family from being slaughtered. There were no survivors this time, aside from the eldest child who was still ravenous with a recent transformation. Having to chase him down and keep him from harming anyone else kept me off the trail of the progenitor of demons, who had to have been close by. For centuries, he’s evaded us this way over and over, sacrificing entire families to throw us off his trail. If I were to chide myself over every failure, I would have lost the ability to do anything ages ago. Each time, the anger is something I carry with me, to push myself harder the next time, and the next. Any extent more that I can push myself may be the difference to someone’s survival, no one can afford to lose their life over any of my own lost confidence.

“CAW!! TOMIOKA GIYUUUU! NEWS FOR TOMIOKA GIYUUUU!”

Each time it's a crow I think I recognize, my stomach drops. My mind is already playing the words I dread to hear, as though trying to protect my mind once I someday hear them.

"Kochou Shinobu has died."

Even if I hear them, I'm a Pillar first. That was what we promised each other. I'll always do as I must.

The crow says nothing as it delivers a letter.

YES, YES, I KNOW, THIS FANDOM HAS TURNED ME INTO SHIPPER TRASH. For this pairing, it was more specifically my own joke AU which later bit me in the back and made me start really, really enjoying GiyuShino (which, for the record, I do not consider canon). Was throwing ideas back and forth with @reicchel again the other day and so here we are with ship content!

Part of the reason I love the Low-Key Married AU (in which it's mostly canon as usual, except that Shinobu and Giyuu have been married for over a year or so, and it's not a secret but they make such little deal about it that many people don't even know they're married) is that it's a frame through which to see every interaction and either make it really, really funny, or very, very, sad. Everything was supposed to be funny, but it keeps hurting, hahaha... aaahhhh.

For instance, in a regular romcom situation, it should be funny that Kanzaburo doesn't deliver all of Giyuu's letters. Knowing these two, who might had started this whole "well, we'll be a couple when we have time" thing by actively writing regular letters, this could had simply given the impression that the other person wasn't writing as much, so they both naturally decreased frequency to match. It's a little lonely, but neither one is going to push the other for more attention.

No!! I refuse to let this post end with angst! Time for omake!!!

[keiriiz]

Chrollo Relationship/Romantic Headcanons

Now for these headcanons, this is where my opinion might really differ from the rest of you guys. Of course this isn’t all but just some of my favorites. I will be putting a clear NSFW warning for when I start to talk about him in bed. 🔞

I do want to add that some of my headcanons would change depending on his partner. If they’re a Nen-user or not, exactly what their ability is, if they’re in the Phantom Troupe, and how long he’s known them, etc. These are just as neutral as possible haha. Even some of what I say here contradicts how I’ve written him in certain ships because I knew exactly how he would act for those specific love interests.

✥ Right of the bat, Chrollo is bi-romantic, having very little preference of gender when it comes to his s/o. And sexuality wise, he’s definitely on the demisexual spectrum.

✥ Chrollo never really planned on being in a long term relationship or ever settling down with someone when he created the Phantom Troupe. It was just another aspect of life he was prepared to sacrifice. So giving a genuine relationship a shot he’d have to really love the other person.

✥ It would take forever for Chrollo to actually recognize he was feeling romantic attraction to another person as the entire thing is foreign to him.

✥ This man’s charisma goes out the drain when trying to flirt with someone he’s genuinely interested it. Tapping his fingers as a stim while he awkwardly flirts. It’s painfully adorable.

✥ Before making things official, he may do extensive research on his s/o. Background checks, verifying friends and family members, overall borderline stalking. It’s a safety measure. He doesn’t want to risk falling for someone who works for an opposing group or who might betray him.

✥ In a relationship, his s/o would be a source of comfort, especially if the relationship is long term. He’ll relax in their arms after a heist or cuddle up to them when he has a nightmare.

✥ I said in my last post but I’ll say it again here. Chrollo is a little spoon!

✥ It’s not too often Chrollo will verbally tell someone he loves them, his main ways of showing affection are quality time, and gift giving. And for his special someone, he wouldn’t just give them random things willy-nilly, he’d put thought behind each one. Say his partner mentions needing new shoes because their current ones are really worn out. You bet next time Chrollo sees them he’s bringing two pairs of brand new shoes.

✥ He loves to be able to lay his head in his s/o’s lap and have them play with his hair while he reads. He might even purr if given the right setting.

✥ Chrollo can be touch avoidant in general. If anyone touches him and he hasn’t given that person mental permission he will move away, shudder even. So if he’s actually allowing another in his space it really is a sign of fondness.

✥ This man definitely takes notes from romance novels he’s read when it comes to dates with someone he’s head over heels for. It can be cheesy.

✥ Chrollo isn’t a chef by any means but on occasion he’ll attempt to cook for his s/o when staying in. Might as well put some of his cook books to use after all.

✥ The times Chrollo is with his partner, things can be quite pleasant. However he can still be emotionally distant. He often wonders what he did to deserve all of this. To be able to love and be loved. It’s a mental battle he might struggle with quite often in the relationship and he wouldn’t be too open to communicating that, leaving his s/o confused. Just some general reassurance could go a long ways.

✥ I feel like a lot of people go for the idea that he’d like others with similar interests or are like him in general, and I could see potential in that mindset however I much prefer the “opposites attract” trope. I think Chrollo might have a bigger interest in someone different than him who can really show a different perspective on certain things. Or even test his mindset and show him new interests.

✥ He’s protective of his s/o, knowing with the life he has, anyone might try to hurt them to get to him so Chrollo wouldn’t be one to really “show off” his partner unfortunately. They relationship could be pretty private.

✥ Assuming his s/o isn’t in the Troupe, Chrollo may ghost them while he’s away on the job. He’ll let them know he’s working, but no calls or texts while he’s away. He won’t even give a location. He wants to keep his personal life separate and doesn’t want to risk revealing to an enemy his relationship or possibly get distracted.

NSFW BELOW ‼️

✥ Before the relationship, Chrollo didn’t really like sex (as I mentioned him being demi), he viewed the act as a chore used on jobs to get information and didn’t find it all that gratifying.

✥ With his s/o, Chrollo much prefers to make love as opposed to casual sex. He likes the intimacy of being with someone he truly loves and not just an act of pleasure.

✥ He prefers bottoming though is open to being a verse. Acting as Boss all the time he really just likes to relax in his personal life so in all honesty it wouldn’t be rare to catch him being a pillow prince in bed.

✥ Chrollo’s not the biggest cock wise, probably just reaching average. He’s uncut being from Meteor City but trust and believe he keeps that shit clean with his pubic hair trimmed.

✥ He’ll almost never out right ask for sex, he’s honestly fine if his partner doesn’t have any interest in the act either. Though if they make a move he’s more than happy for a session.

✥ He’s got VERY sensitive nipples. Give them a little tug with your teeth and he’ll mewl.

✥ Aftercare is always a given between him and his s/o. If Chrollo just got done bottoming, cuddles and praise are a must. He’d especially melt if given a massage.

[yuri-is-online]

Well Maybe the Octopus was Being a Dick! (Or Tsunotarou tries to do Yu a solid but he misunderstood a joke) pt. 2

A/N: Left some boys out of part one so have some more crack

Pt. 1

“Refuses to take responsibility for this”- Idia

He’s too busy screaming to listen to what Malleus is saying because he’s too busy trying to figure out how he got into his room.  Malleus thinks that Idia is just suffering from some nerves and offers to pretend to be the child of man so he can practice… fighting fish for the prefect’s affection?  Outright refuses but it just comes off as him being too shy again, aaaand now he’s somehow been dragged to an aquarium on a practice date with Malleus who keeps insisting his childlike wonder is just him pretending to be the prefect.  At least Ortho is having the time of his life.  Maybe he can just convince you to come over and play some VR, he really needs to decompress after this.

“Wait don’t ask another guy I’ll do it”- Ace, Deuce, Kalim

Duece and Kalim both take what Malleus is saying extremely seriously and are equally distraught.  Deuce wants to be with you as the best possible version of himself, and that means putting his violent past behind him.  He did just learn how to make mackerel curry though, so maybe that counts?  He can practice fileting fish and hope you think the effort is cute.  Kalim really likes animals so the thought of hurting fish isn’t… ideal but hey maybe he just misheard Malleus and you just really like aquariums.  Yeah that’s got to be it!  There’s absolutely no way Malleus of all people could have misunderstood things in the first place, he’s too smart for that.  Ace sees this as a GOLDEN opportunity to make fun of you and the two of you have a bit of fun clowning around until you make the mistake of whining about how he wouldn’t fight one measly fish and he responds by saying he’d take a bullet for you with zero hesitation and completely seriously. 

Yeah it’s going to take a while for you both to reset after this one. 

“That’s a magicam moment babe”- Cater, Jamil

Both of these guys pay enough attention to trends to have at least an idea that Malleus might be taking a meme literally.  Cater thinks it’s a cute joke he can make a magicam post about, and it gives him an excuse to flirt with juuust enough plausible deniability he can save himself if it proves too embarrassing.  Jamil simply says he doesn’t need to rely on fleeting internet trends to win your affection.  Aquariums are a nice place for a date though so he thanks Malleus for the idea.

“PLEASE ask him to kill for you”- Epel, Lilia

Epel absolutely has a list of wild animals he could protect the prefect from and you can’t convince me otherwise.  He’s a bit iffy on where he ranks fish after meeting the Leech twins, but as long as your favorite isn’t an eel he is rip raring to go, just ignore that weird shadow in your peripheral vision that definitely isn’t Vil waiting to swoop.  Lilia is, obviously, aware that Malleus is misinterpreting a joke.  He’s just really attached to the image of you hanging off of him like the protagonist on the front cover of a really steamy romance novel while he fights off a salmon or something.  He has one of those open chested pirate shirts allll ready to go just say the word. 

“IF WAKA-SAMA SAID IT, IT MUST BE TRUE”- SEBEK, Silver

“Silver?”  I hear you ask in disbelief.  Yes.  He was raised by Lilia in the middle of the woods and his main source of interaction with humans before attending NRC was apparently just Sebek’s dad.  He thinks very highly of Malleus and doesn’t think he’d be lying, but he assumes given how much animals like him it’s you who intend to do the fighting so he shows up to Ramshackle to assure you that isn’t necessary.  You already have his affections.

You know damn well Sebek is climbing into that tank the instant you say something about liking one of the fish.  Malleus gave him instructions on how to court you and he will be cold and dead in his grave before he disobeys a direct order from his lord.  Also refuses to believe you when you say Malleus misunderstood even after his Lord apologizes for accidentally getting him banned from the aquarium for life.  For the sake of Malleus’s pride or his you have no idea.

[graveyard-stray]

JUST SAW THE "Wanting to write x Autistic!Reader" POST AND IMMEDIATELY CAME HERE TO SUGGEST! How about Cillian x Autistic!Actress!Reader??? Let's say the reader was doing silly little things when the director gave them a break after filming a long scene? Rest of it can be your choice since i don't know much about autism! 😭

I FUCKING LOVE THIS IDEA AS SOMEONE WHO LOVES CILLIAN, WANTS TO BE AN ACTOR, AND IS AUTISTIC. COMING RIGHT UP.

That’s a Wrap! | Cillian Murphy x Autistic!Actress!Reader

Wc: 1k

Summary: after a long day of filming your overstimulated and tired and just need to unwind, thankfully your boyfriend Cillian is there to help you out

Includes: Pure tooth rotting fluff, happy & overwhelmed stimming, Overstimulation (not in a sexual way.), generally common autism symptoms

Disclaimer: I’ve written this based on my personal experiences with autism, everyone experiences it differently though so I apologize if this doesn’t fully relate to how it affects you. (+ Not proofread)

“That’s a wrap for today!” Yelled the director as the cameras cut. “Go home, get some rest and make sure those of you on schedule for tomorrow are here on time!” he reminded before beginning to help pack up some of the equipment.

A grateful sigh left your lips as the shooting for the day finally ended. It was late and today’s schedule had been crazy, shooting since 9 AM and going almost non stop till 11 PM.

You wasted no time rushing off set and towards your trailer, leaving your boyfriend and cast mate Cillian behind. This didn’t bother him though, he knew your day was long and you didn’t think you needed to wait for him, there was no logical reason for you too since you had stuff to get done without him.

So, Cillian took his time getting back to his trailer and changed out of his costume. Meanwhile you did the same. You arrived at your trailer and immediately washed off all the makeup on your face, the feeling of it caked on made you feel so dirty and you had to scrub like crazy to feel clean, even past the point where visually it was all gone.

You relished the feeling of being able to peel off your costume, this one being not a great one as the fabric left your neck a bit itchy and it was tight around your arms. The costume made its way onto a hanger and was swiftly hung on a wrack for the costume people to come grab later.

Once you were in comfy clothes and felt clean you just stood in the middle of your trailer for a moment, your hands softly opening and closing into fists as you tried to get out all your stress and unwind. Your senses had just been extra off the wall today, all the noises on set bothering you more than usual and then the costume and makeup and your stupid hairdo for the scene you did earlier. It all just had you so frustrated.

A frown crept onto your face as you realized that in your frustration you stomped off right as the scene ended and didn’t wait for Cillian. You have honestly completely forgot about him, outta sight outta mind really.

As if on cue there was a soft knock at the door to your trailer. Your eyes lit up and you rushed over to open the door. There standing on the steps was Cillian, in his comfortable clothes and a cozy jacket to protect him from the cold. In his hands you noticed what he had brought, your headphones! You had left them in his trailer before shooting started.

Your hands reached forward and immediately grabbed the headphones from him. “My headphones! I was wondering where they went!” You exclaimed.

Cillian just smiled and stepped inside the trailer, closing the door behind him and hanging his jacket up on a hook by the door. He put a hand on your shoulder and kissed the top of your head, “I saw you left them on my counter and figured you’d be needing them.” he said softly, knowing you probably didn’t want to hear anything too loud anymore. You smiled and nodded quickly. “Oh and Hi love! Sorry I just got so excited about you bringing me my stuff” you giggled before wrapping your arms around him in a sweet hug.

He wrapped his arms around you aswell, squeezing you tightly for a moment as he knew you liked, the pressure on your body calming you down. You immediately relaxed in his embrace and let him hold you there for a moment.

You pulled away from the hug after a bit, looking at him and grinning, “I’m gonna go lay down.” You said before pulling away and grabbing your favorite blanket off the trailer couch. Cillian ruffled your hair as you moved away from him, “how about I join you love?” he suggested, wanting to make sure you knew that he understood if you wanted alone time.

“Yes please! That would be nice!” You beamed, “oh can we cuddle, please!” you asked sweetly. He nodded “of course sweetheart, anything for you.” he agreed.

Your smile grew impossibly wider and your hands shook quickly to express your happiness and excitement. No matter how long you dated you always loved getting to cuddle with him and just seeing how much he loved you. He was so sweet and you weren’t super used to it even after a year.

Cillian followed you as you quickly shuffled into the small bedroom in your trailer and you flopped down dramatically onto the bed, causing Cillian to chuckle softly. “You’re so cute honey.” He mused, his tone dripping with affection.

This compliment always made you flustered, your face being impossibly red and your smile growing impossibly wide, as it always did when he flustered you or just made you so so happy. You couldn’t control his affect on you.

He climbed into the bed beside you and held his arms open. You got your stuff and snuggled close to him, your head on his chest and arms curled up by yourself. He pulled the blanket he knew you loved up so it covered you fully, keeping you nice and warm and he watched you grab it slightly and snuggle closer, if that was even possible.

you yawned once more as you finally got to really relax for the first time all day. “Thank you Cill.” You mumbled with a soft smile on your lips. He put a hand on your head and pet your hair softly. “Of course sweetheart, I love you.”

you nodded, “yeah. Or hah sorry I mean, I love you too.” you chuckled softly at yourself. Sometimes just forgetting you were supposed to also express verbally your feelings for him.

But even if you didn’t say it, he knew you loved him just as much as he loved you.

It didn’t take long for your eyes to flutter shut and you to doze off snuggled up to him, his embrace on you tight and protective just like always- and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

[asexualbuthorny]

I had a little idea about Simon "Ghost" Riley and the omegaverse and I'm gonna write it out a bit. This one will be dark so....

CW: kidnapping, torture, talks of rape/non-con, bitching, turning an alpha into an omega, non-con chastity bondage, non-con injections and drugging, the makers of cod made Ghost for the express purpose of suffering and having bad things happen to him, established relationship, alpha x alpha relationship, alpha x omega relationship, happy ending yay! :), sprinkles of smut, inspired by a fic i read on ao3 which i lowkey regret reading

The universe has always hated Simon Riley. It always has. It insists on cursing him everyday of his life. First it was by giving him a father like his was, the endless abuse he endured everyday was the universe sending a message that it hated Simon and everything he was. Then it was what happened to his family and the torture he suffered through at the hands of Roba. The man couldn't catch a damn break. Among the very few things he had that were good aside from his mother (who he lost) and his team (who he could loose any day) was the fact that he was an alpha. In this world being born an alpha could make your life a hundred times easier and Simon was everything an alpha should and could be. He was huge, tall and muscular with a deep voice that could command any room and any lesser person. His scent was that of a true alpha as well, a smell of bourbon and smoke sprinkled with notes of dark chocolate and coffee. He had presented early in life and his mother told him that it happened when he was so young because he was special and strong but later, when he was an adult, he did some research and found that it's likely that he presented sooner than normal due to stress of the environment he was in which made him scoff. Of course it was stress it would've been impossible to not be stressed around his father and his....tendencies. Despite everything he had a decent life and a nice partner who he loved and was loved by in return.....But the universe hates Simon "Ghost" Riley after all.....

Simon was in the military, in a task force which was more like a pack and a family. His team mates were the thing helping him keep it together most days (as much as he hated to admit it). He did his job and as brutal as said job was he did it good. His saving grace from the violence of the battlefield was you, his partner who was also an alpha. Relationships between two people of the same dynamic were rather uncommon but not as rare or taboo as they used to be. Some still turn and shake their heads when they see two alphas but a single glare from Simon reminded them damn well to mind their business. You weren't like any other alpha Simon has ever seen or met. You were calm, generally non-confrontational and your scent hardly ever sharpened with the promise of a threat or violence unless you were in the field. And on the field? Oh Simon could write a book on what you made him feel when he saw you fight and kill their enemies. The raw strength, the masculinity, the scent and the pheromones. Simon wouldn't leave you alone when you returned to base, burying his face in your neck and pressing close, trying to take you in in all your post mission glory. You haven't yet spend your ruts together because Simon had reservations about intimacy but you never minded and asked to hold him and be held instead which he agreed to despite his shyness with affection. You were a wonderful partner and Simon was very close to opening up enough to let you share his rut and take your relationship a step further....The universe has always hated Simon "Ghost" Riley and always will.....

It was seemingly just another mission. Go to point A, shoot bad guy B, go back to base for a meeting and spend the rest of the day resting by your side. except everything went to hell and Ghost got separated from the team and once he was cornered and out of ammo the enemy soldiers knocked him unconscious and took him to some unknown place. And just like that began the worst two months of Simon Riley's life....The universe still hated Simon "Ghost" Riley.....

The cell they kept him in was dark and damp with a since, small, barred window high above his head. He was beaten day in and day out, burned and cut in the hope of him breaking and giving up any valuable intel. He, however, didn't break. His captors barely fed him, giving him just enough to keep him alive in an attempt to starve him out but again he held out and didn't bend or break. He was dangerous, threatening, always has been and always will be and his captors weren't thrilled by that. They wanted him weak and submissive to them but he was not only a soldier, a lieutenant but an alpha as well. His captors decided to change that....Why does the universe hate Simon "Ghost" Riley so much?....

Continued in pt. 2 because tunglr is stoopit

[dontyouworrydaddy]

First of all, I love your blog so much, on god. I never fail to read every single one of your posts. You're a blessing to the COD simps community. Secondly, I'd like to request a female reader this time. Usually, I ask for GN, so that everyone can feel included. Please, TF 141, Konig (and Vaqueros too if it's ok) with a gf / wife who is a pro gamer. Like she can play any video game at the highest difficulty with ease, solo dungeons and even the occasional raid in MMOs and just destroys everyone in every fight. She even has a Twitch and YouTube account and she's one of the most popular streamers out there. She prefers FPS (but RPGs too) because she genuinely likes them, but also as a way to pay tribute to her military man. Women have an unfair reputation of being bad gamers and I hate it because it's completely false. My roommate is a beast of a gamer. Thank you so much and sorry for the long ass ask.

𝐑𝐨𝐥𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐞𝐥

Task Force 141 (+König & Los Vaqueros) + fem! Reader

NORA, HAVE I TOLD YOU THAT I LOVE YOU? You got no idea how much this made me smile and blush. I totally look like an idiot right now. THIS IS SO CUTE😖😖😖

I‘m a gamer too and let’s say… we only get hate. ESPECIALLY ON COD. Last night I had my voice chat on for the first time and oh boy… the things I heard…

"go back to the kitchen"

"What hacks do you use"

"No way a female is good at this game"

blablabla. I was like 😃 damn sensitive asf boys.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK AND I HOPE YOU LIKE IT💘💘💘

✥﹤┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈﹥✥

König

In the world of all the professional gamers all time, your name was always mentioned. Thousands of videos exist about you and your skills. Streamers were honored if they got to 1 vs 1 you, because that would mean that they get to flex by saying they were able to play with you. Even through they’d loose. Your name was known worldwide and so many people were looking up to you.

König admired you. He had always admired your talents and watched your streams with a mixture of awe and pride in the living room while you were live in your gaming room.

One day, your chat buzzed with excitement and cheers. You wondered why they were freaking out because you were having a chat with your fans. The chat was completely going crazy as they all asked the same thing:

Y/N got a boyfriend?

Please tell me it’s just her brother😔

IS THAT A MAN? IN HER HOUSE?

As you turn around you can see König in the corner of your room. He probably forgot you were still streaming and he looks as confused as you do. "Hey love" you finally said, causing the chat to literally explode. König comes a little closer and kisses your forehead. "Just wanted to ask if you wanna eat something" König says and tries to hide himself as good as he can. His heart definitely started beating faster than a few moments before. "hmmm… yes!" you reply and take a look at the chatscreen and see the the people waiting for you to confirm.

"Yes, he's my man" you said, your voice tinged with affection and pride, sharing your secret with your viewers.

König, caught off guard but unable to hide his emotions, blushed slightly, his heart swelling with love and admiration for you. He stepped back into view, leaning in to give you a gentle kiss on the cheek, which you welcomed with a radiant smile.

The chat erupted into a frenzy of supportive messages as your viewers reveled in the heartwarming moment.

Simon Riley

It was a usual day and you were 40 minutes into your stream but you noticed that the chat was talking about someone behind you. Curiosity piqued, you glanced over your shoulder and couldn't suppress a grin as you saw Simon, standing there and watching you from afar. He probably doesn’t know that they can all see him, not his face though.

You turned around and gave him one of your sweet smiles which he returned. "You know that they can see you right?" you tell him and by his facial expression you can see that he didn’t know it.

Without missing a beat, you turned to the camera and addressed your chat with a smile, "Well everyone" you said "meet my man!"

The chat erupted with excitement and hearts, and you could almost feel the virtual cheers cheering through the screen. There were a lot of comments about you two now. There were also comments about his frame and by reading those, you could feel your cheeks heating up.

John MacTavish

Today you streamed on Twitch and planned on playing destiny 2. You planned on playing it again since it made so much fun last time.

However, like always John wanted to stay hidden from the camera but still wanted to watch you play while reading some reaction from the chat. Your viewers never knew about him. I mean, how could they when he tried to hide as best as he can.

But fate had different plans that day. His arms occurred with your camera, revealing the glimpse of a man sitting next to you. The chat erupted with curiosity and in that moment, you knew you wouldn’t be able to hide it anymore. John read the comments too and waved at the camera but still not showing himself fully. You let out a small laugh and hugged his arm slightly. "That’s my boyfriend" you clarified and the chat was exploding with excitement.

John Price

One day, as your Twitch chat buzzed with excitement, a curious viewer noticed a familiar figure standing behind you in the frame. "Hey, who's that?" the chat exploded and you knew you wouldn’t be able to hide it anymore since John was able to do anything but stay quiet while you’re streaming.

A smile graced your lips, knowing it was time to introduce the world to the man who held your heart. "Oh, that's my man" you said nonchalantly, knowing the chat would go wild.

In an instant, John's face took a red shade and you could feel his heart melt. He thought that you might be embarrassed to show him but clearly you’re not. He came a little closer to you and the chat got a little clearer view of him and everyone was complimenting him.

With a smile, John leaned in, planting a tender kiss on your cheek. The chat erupted with cheers and hearts, seeing their favorite streamer be so in love was making them happy.

"you guys are so cute together!" was what almost everyone was typing into the chat and you couldn’t help but feel so happy right now.

Kyle Garrick

As one of the most popular streamers on Twitch, you had an enormous following of fans who eagerly tuned in to witness your gaming skills. The thrill of conquering challenging dungeons, soloing difficult quests, and leading epic raids in MMOs kept your viewers on the edge of their seats.

Your love for gaming ran deep, not just for the joy it brought you but because it somehow reminded you of your boyfriend. Kyle was always supporting you and he loved you in your darkest times. He was your motivation to keep going even when you didn’t want to sometimes.

As you streamed while playing Until dawn and the chat was exploding with excitement as someone noticed a figure moving behind your camera setup and mentioned it, which caused the others to see the man behind you too. You stopped the game and looked behind you. It was Kyle standing there with a plate of food and an iced coffee in his hands. You couldn’t help but melt on spot at the sight of him.

"So everyone !" you said, your voice filled with affection. "Looks like my special someone decided to make a cameo appearance. Say hello to man!"

In that moment, the chat exploded with greetings and cheers, expressing their love and support for the unexpected guest. Meanwhile, Kyle's cheeks flushed with a hint of shyness, never quite used to being in the spotlight.

"Uh, hey there, everyone," he stammered placing the plate on your desk along with your drink and a smile playing on his lips. "These are for you, love. Thought you might get hungry after a while."

As the chat continued to shower both of you with love, you couldn't help but steal a glance at Kyle. His presence, even virtually, filled you with warmth and reassurance. Without hesitation, he leaned in, placing a tender kiss on your cheek.

The chat exploded with even more excitement as they witnessed the affectionate gesture.

Alejandro

Among your many followers on Twitch and YouTube, there was one person who held a special place in your heart - Alejandro. Your boyfriend who supports you and who was always by your side when you needed him.

You were streaming your latest gameplay, the chat was buzzing with excitement and admiration for your skills. But a man behind the camera caught everyones attention. The chat was now questioning who it is and needed clarification.

A playful grin spread across your face as you glanced over at Alejandro, who had come to support you during your stream.

With a touch of mischief in your voice, you replied, "Oh, that handsome man? He's my soon to be husband."

A faint blush spread across his cheeks, but he leaned in and gave you a gentle kiss on the cheek, right in front of the camera. The chat went wild with excitement, and you couldn't help but laugh at the adorable reaction.

"See, I told you," you teased playfully. "They love you almost as much as I do."

Rudy

As a popular Twitch and YouTube streamer, your skill and charisma drew in countless fans and followers. The chat would explode with excitement whenever you embarked on a new gaming adventure. It was during one of these electrifying streams that fate intervened.

The chat was lively as always, filled with adoring fans and cheering supporters. You were in the zone, showcasing your skills in a competitive FPS match. Little did you know, a surprise was in store for you. Unbeknownst to you, Rudy had entered the room and was watching you from behind the camera.

One of your fans in the chat noticed him, a smile stretching across their face as they typed, "Hey, who's that handsome guy behind the camera?"

You chuckled, casually replying, "Oh, that's my man Rudy."

The chat erupted with excitement, filled with a chorus of "Awws" and many many compliments. Rudy, initially a little taken aback, couldn't help but blush at the overwhelming show of support and affection for both of you.

[nonbinarypirat]

I promised to do a break down on Azz's and Clara's relationship specifically since the initial post was so long (Iruma's relationships within the love trio) so here it is! This is long compared to my initial post breakdown of the relationships since I am just focusing on these two. And I wanted to do these two right since so many people think Azz doesn't like or appreciate Clara.

As we know, in the beginning the two of them mostly revolved around Iruma. Azz was very much annoyed with Clara's personality, there wasn't much to tie Clara to Asmodeus besides playing, and as they mention in the manga, more than likely they would have never met and/or become friends without Iruma. Iruma was very much needed for the initial start of their relationship. However, that doesn't mean that by this point in the story we don't see they both care deeply for each other outside of just getting along for the sake of having Iruma.

Similarly to Iruma, Clara has enabled Azz to experience more playfulness and childlike fun than he ever experienced previously. Clara is not just some afterthought within the love trio. She is necessary for the two of them to open up more emotionally. Especially Azz. Asmodeus in general is a very closed off person by nature, stemmed from a fairly isolated childhood of no one wanting to interact with him. We see this when the soulmates are first seperated because they have to join other clubs. Azz basically never interacted with the other members unless he had to. It's hard for him to open up and let his excitable, lovely side shine through. Clara is one of the people that inspired that in him because even with just Iruma, Asmodeus wouldn't know how to just let himself be playful. Sure, the first time him and Clara played together was because Iruma asked him to, but that was more than likely the first time he has ever done this.

Additionally, Clara gives Azz an extra challenge. She's not easy to understand and is someone he feel like he must compete with for Iruma's affections (of course that has changed drastically in the latest volumes and chapters). Asmodeus is used to being the best, outshining anyone and anything in his path. He's a young genius. But that means he didn't have something to push him to grow. Clara is someone who is so widely different from him that it causes him to have to strive towards understanding her. When they have to work together for the hell dance, Azz realizes that yeah, she thinks about the world in an entirely interesting way compared to him. And he can learn from this new perspective. Azz has really grown to care about Clara because he knows she can open up sides of him no one else can.

Clara on the other hand learns about more structure then she ever had before. Clara has been on a character development of realizing that yes, unadulterated chaos can be great. But it can also just cause trouble for yourself and for others. She can rely on Azz to shut down some of her more outlandish ideas, not because of meaness but because the situation doesn't call for it (though he'll shut it down in the sassiest way possible of course). She lives beyond the comprehension of most people and that's what makes her so wonderful. But she can go overboard and doesn't tend to second guess things. With characters like this, you need somone/something to stop them before something ends up being a giant mess.

And Clara felt the same as Azz too about the way he thinks. To Clara, he also makes zero sense. That's why she also needs to strive to understand him and be more considerate of his feelings. She understands that emotions and care doesn't come easy to Asmodeus. And she gives him room to express them however he can and gives him the encouragement he needs. She truly is the best at understanding the emotions that Azz and Iruma are experiencing. Her role as the emotional challenger/instigator pushes Azz to understand why he is feeling that way.

Like I said, Clara is very much needed in the group. I'll fight anyone who thinks she isn't. Because without Clara's brazen approach to feelings, these two boys wouldn't push themselves. Like, sure she group in her toy box because she could see something is wrong with iuma, but it was as much for Azz as it was for him. Because she would also know when he's feeling down about something too. I saw someone call her their safe place on twitter and its true. She's someone they can go to when they just need to talk to someone or vent to. And like a trained big sister, she will pet their hair and listen.

I really hope we get to see just these two interact more as the story progresses as well as Clara Iruma solo time. Because I care about the love trio so much, they are basically free therapy for me. Oh and in case you were wondering, yes I am obessed with Azz wanting to take a picture of Clara in her cute swimsuit. He's so in love with his soulmates it's so cute. I know he has the best icloud service and still has to backup his photos often from how many pictures of Iruma and Clara he owns.

[the-phantom-otaku]

I recently learned that apparently Cazador not only let Astarion be buried, but he left him there in his grave for a year before going to retrieve him. (I know this info is found by using the Astral Tadpole. I think he'll tell you if you're trying to convince him or once he's convinced to take it.) Edit: This is actually untrue. I originally heard this over on twitter and didn't look up a clip to verify. The person I heard this from actually misinterpreted this scene, in which you use the Illithid powers to search his mind and you find the memory where he was locked in a tomb for disobeying. I think they thought it was a memory about how Cazador left him dead and buried rather than another way to find out about the harshest punishment Cazador ever gave him. Doesn't have too much of an affect on the rest of the post, but I want to correct myself. Tho I will say Cazador leaving him dead and buried for a year before finally awakening him as a spawn is a neat headcanon, and like I said before, WOULD make a lot of sense. People would be sure to notice that the recently murdered magistrate is suddenly back and luring commoners back to the Szarr palace.

Anyway, I had thoughts regarding the whole thing.

Astarion's body had to be tended to and prepped for a burial, and those bite marks are not subtle even 200 years later. Do you think Cazador paid off or threatened whoever dealt with his body? Or maybe he just had one of his servants do the preparations. Maybe he approached Astarion's grieving family and offered to not just pay for the burial expenses, but to deal with the whole process "so the family could grieve in peace." Anything so people don't think there are vampires roaming and so his family thinks he's dead and gone for good.

Astarion also destroyed his own coffin just a year later when Cazador woke him up. I wonder if his family thought his grave had been defiled and robbed of the corpse inside. Maybe people blame the Gur. They were the ones who killed him (from everyone else's perspective). They also took issue with his ruling, which led to the attack in the first place. To everyone else, it would make perfect sense for the Gur to rob his grave. Not just for revenge, but with all the rumors around, I bet people speculated that they used the young magistrate's body as bait for a monster or that they performed some ritual on it so his soul would suffer for eternity. Perhaps Cazador is even responsible for starting these rumors and stoking the fires to keep suspicion of him low.

Speaking more on his family, I wonder if the reason his grave is overgrown and unkempt is bc they left Baldur's Gate, either after the murder or after his grave was "robbed." As in, it wasn't bad enough to lose their child, but then he couldn't even rest in peace, and they couldn't bear to be in the wretched city anymore after the tragedy. Or perhaps Cazador forced them from the city via string pulling. It just further ties up any loose ends and gets rid of people Astarion could reach out to for help.

Anyway, I think that's about all I wanted to say. The whole thing with him being turned is so vague that I couldn't help but turn some ideas in my head.

[respectthepetty]

I don't think Pete's in love with Kenta. I think it's Kenta who is in love with Pete, and Pete has perhaps affection but not love for Kenta. I also think it's Way that Pete starts feeling something for, and that's why that pink and longing stares, maybe because they are both enigmas or something. I don't know, but these three are very interesting, and also wonder what each of their colors are? Because it's not readily visible at all.

Anon, Kenta is black, Pete is blue, and Way can't decide if he wants to be black or blue (or be a baddie red), which is why I think he will die before Kenta does and blah blah blah but . . .

"they are both enigmas or something"

Because another Anon just asked me:

Do we know Pitbabe and companies destinations? Like I know Babe and Charlie are Alphas and Way Pete are both Enigmas but like what about the rest of the gang?

What in the Charlie and the Alpha Factory do you mean by "enigmas" y'all?

I want to believe you mean they are both puzzling characters, but I don't think that's what you mean, and I know *just* enough about Omegaverse to know that enigmas are like the Mean Girls of that universe in the way that everyone wants to be them and fuck them but also fear them.

So are you telling me that Peter and Waymundo are the Regina Georges of the Alphas? IS THAT WHAT YOU ARE SAYING?!

Is that why Way Way didn't want to touch Peter when they first met? Is this why they keep drinking at the bar together like it's a Wednesday and they must wear pink?!

Is that why Peter was looking at Waymundo like this, not because he likes him, but because he likes that they are both Mean Girls and have to sit at the same table?!

Like, I know you asked me a question, but I'm trying to process the bomb you just dropped on me because as much as I love knowing stuff, some of y'all have been wildin' in my comments and reblogs, and apparently FORGOT I'M WATCHING WITHOUT SUBS AND WITH THE TAG BLOCKED!

I'M SO LOST RIGHT NOW!

I mentioned I might unblock the tag in a previous post because I wanted to reblog GIFs of Kenta x Pete and someone DM'ed me letting me know that I might see posts about Kentana BEING PREGNANT!

Which has me thinking Barbie is pregnant and just not sad over Charles lying 24/7 since apparently pregnancy is on the damn table in this show!

Then someone commented that old man is BARBIE'S DAD so did Tony straight up steal these kids from their parents and nobody has noticed because he isn't building a super powerful army for himself but something far more nefarious?!

And the worst part is I have no idea if any of this is canon or people's theories because Pit Babe lied to us and said it wasn't Omegaverse than "Surprise Bitch"-ed us and the Omegaverse is so wild that I don't know what is real or not.

I have so many questions, yet I WANT NONE OF THEM ANSWERED! Do I want to know if Barbara and Kentana are actually pregnant? Do I want to know the real reason Big Red is kidnapping these kids? Do I want to know if Waymond really loved Barbara or if it was just because he is an enigma?

NO! SWEET BABY JESUS WITH THE HISTORICALLY ACCURATE SKIN TONE NO!

You know what I do want though? A drink because this show is way wilder than I thought, and I don't think I'm ever gonna unblock that tag.

But if Kenta is pregnant, who would he even be pregnant by? Is that the real reason Charles and Barbara were fighting on the race track is because Barbara is pregnant and Charles didn't want him racing? OH MY GOD! Can Jeffrey get pregnant?! Does Alan even have the ability to get Jeffrey pregn ---

fuuuuuuck!

Nobody answer these questions. I am BEGGING you.

[en-geneisaxx]

'Please don't say that this is the end of us...'

Pairings: Husband!Hoon x fem!reader

Warnings: Swearing (you're gonna be on a rollercoaster of emotions lol)

Feat. Jay, Heeseung and Jake of Enhypen, Yeji (Sunghoon's sister), Jin Ae (Y/n and Sunghoon's child),

AND

Reesa (@dollywons), Haze (@pockettwinzz), Reina (@rinbowaman), Rin (@diorsyun), Nessa (@heeslomll), Aeri (@heeslut4life), Aria (@jaylaxies), Julia (@jak3slut), Rae (@hoonieshoneymain) (SORRY IF I GOT YOUR NAMES WRONG 😭)

Tagging my moots who wanted to read: @pockettwinzz @diorsyun @rinbowaman @heeslomll @heeslut4life @hoonieshoneymain @sungvrhs

Previous parts can be found here:

Part 6

Part 5

Part 4

Part 3

Part 2

Part 1

Preview

A/n: HI HI HIIII EVERYONE!! I'M SO SORRY I HAVEN'T BEEN POSTING MUCH FICS, I HAD A WRITER'S BLOCK MOMENT FOR A SECOND, SO FORGIVE ME 😭 ONCE THE POLL RESULTS COME, I'LL BE FOCUSING ON MAKING A NEW FIC BASED ON THAT PERSON. PLEASE SEND OPINIONS OR THE TYPE OF FIC YOU WOULD WANT FOR IT (I have no idea who's winning rn, don't wanna vote 😅) BUT YH, TYSM TO EVERYONE FOR YOUR SUPPORT, HOPE YOU ENJOY!!

Likes, reblogs and/or following me will be much appreciated!! 😚

Last chapter, part 7:

'𝒀/𝒏, 𝒊𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒂 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒍𝒆 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒂 𝒎𝒂𝒏, 𝒘𝒉𝒐 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒊𝒕 𝒃𝒆?'

'𝑯𝒂𝒉𝒂, 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕'𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒆𝒊𝒓𝒅 𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔, 𝑱𝒂𝒌𝒆? 𝑰 𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒂𝒓, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒔𝒌 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆... 𝑾𝒆𝒍𝒍, 𝑰'𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒔𝒆 𝑺𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒏.'

You drifted your attention to the churros stand nearby, wanting a sweet treat. You didn't hear Jake's evil, spiteful intentions. The tempting, lying snake hissed:

'𝑰'𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓'𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞.'

He successfully did that with ease, which horrified you. And boy, the venom could've killed your happy marriage, almost. Luckily it was your faithful best friend that had it, or you would've been silently tortured with regret for not knowing the truth in his hell. Fucking hell, Jake, no wonder why people say you should run from a scorpio man.

But, let's forget about the shattered past, and focus on the thriving present, you and Hoon crying in each other's embrace, saying words filled with the upmost affection and actions that displayed their yearning for each other.

'Hoon...next time, please, tell me your thoughts, hm? I want to be with you, 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓.' You desperately plead, not wanting things to go haywire again.

'Mhmm, m'sorry...' He chokes out, clearly affected by Jake's mental abuse.

It was finally back to normal, back to a loving family. You guys could finally sleep in peace, Hoon's toned body moving so elegantly. It was so fast, making up. You even questioned if it was a silly dream. Either way, you wouldn't want to go back. And you weren't EVER going to see Jake enter your life.

'Shh,' whispers Sunghoon cutely, 'let's wake up momma.'

The two loved doing that, waking you up with kisses and cuddles, before playing with each other for a short bit of time. The weather was bright and hopeful, which gave you the impression that, after a hard-fought battle, with determination, you can succeed. What a perfect day to wake up in, you could even cry.

Jin Ae crawls to you, giggling quietly and looking at her father with such amusment. She was like a piece of him, their smooth-riding relationship so wholesome. They both lean in, count themselves to three before launching their weapons of tender kisses.

'Hehe, hello my baby!!' You sleepily smiled, before welcoming the morning with your husband,

'Hello, daddy...' You smirked, knowing damn well how it gives him a dopamine and ego boost.

'Hello my pretty, beautiful, stunning baby wife...' He complimented, laying down and hugging you and Jin Ae, each on both sides of his chest.

'Ahh, my two girls, how lucky I am to have you all.' He kissed the top of your heads, 'Mine, mine, mine, mine, 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞.' He said the last word like a hungry beast, but immdiately became a cute penguin, baby baekgyu. Jin Ae couldn't contol her laughter at this point, soothing sounds echoing in this haven.

'Baby,' Sunghoon started, pecking the two of you now and then, 'should we go to the park?'

Your jokes were as cringey as his, which is probably why many people were astonished by your humor.

'Which Park, your Mum, your Dad? Jay? Yeji?'

He chuckles whilst dies at your jokes,

'Babe, that was so...wow'

'You can't say much,' You said with a smug smile, 'imagine saying, "𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒔 '𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒐' 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒚".' You came back, knowing he will be overwhelmingly embarrased.

'BABE!! Stoppp, that was one of my worst moments in life, frick Jay.' He whined, but made sure to keep the language child-friendly, knowing Jin Ae can learn quickly.

'Haha, but yeah, we should go to the park, and let's bring Jay and Yeji!'

'Mhmm, they deserve it, AND HEESEUNG. SHOOT, I FORGOT ABOUT HIM! He was like my lifesaver.. We should probably make them gifts...' He agrees.

'I know just the thing...' You said confidently, making Sunghoon look at you, wanting for you to continue,

'FOOD!' You happily shouted, and Jin Ae copied too,

'Food!' She chortled, clapping her hands. Her and Sunghoon's cuteness broke the scales, damn...

'Heyy!! Thanks for tagging us along!' Says the three friends, excited for the payment of their therupatic actions.

'Where are we going?' Yeji asks, trying to contain the urge to just take Sunghoon's card and run off.

'Haha, we'll go to a kbbq place, Heeseung's favourite, especially.' You said, 'Oh yeah, it was Sunghoon's idea.' You grinned, because Sunghoon didn't want others to know how soft he was.

'Awww, thanks bro, come to my place anytime-' He stops, seeing your angry glare, 'OR stay with lovely Y/n right here...' He mumbles, rubbing his nape.

You guys ate like you were famished, finishing the bowl within a few minutes, but the food was definitely worth the hype.

'You know what, I feel like this is a bribe, BUT I'M ALL FOR IT.' Yeji proclaimed, earning a laugh from everyone.

'Y/niee,' starts Heeseung, doing something very unusual with his body...

'Lee Heeseung...' You said slowly with a deep tone, looking as dead as Jay is, who ends up averting his attention to Jin Ae, Yeji and Sunghoon getting stitches from laughing too hard, 'what on earth are you doing' You fake cried.

'I WAS TRYING TO DO AGEYOOOO' Wanting to be six-feet-under.

'But anyways, where we going for dessert?'

The group pondered about the various options, Jin Ae just scribbling on the piece of drawing given by the staff.

'Oh, I know, why not we go and pop over to dollywon's bakery and order from there!' You implied, knowing everyone loves going there.

'YEAH, THAT'S A GREAT IDEA! I love her bakeries' Says Yeji, scrolling on her phone to look for the menu.

'Oh yeah, Y/n, can we go to a library?' Asks Jay, 'I've been wanting to read a few poets and authors'

'Of course! Hoon, you can go to the park with Heeseung and Yeji when that happens, yeah?'

Sunghoon looks offended, 'OBVIOUSLY, I'M NOT LIKE THAT GRANDPA.'

Jay swears in korean, knowing Jin Ae isn't that knowledgeable.

'Right, let's go!!'

'Hi Reesa!!' Greets Y/n, who's happy to see her coquette friend. Y/n orders from her bakery when she's in need of something sweet, sometimes, she wants to take Reesa too.

'Hi Y/n! It's been awhile, I see we have a few costumers!' She notions to the group.

'Yep, all wanting a bite!' You chuckle, Jin Ae's motioning that she wants the chocolate muffin.

'Yup, all done! Thanks Y/n!' Says Reesa. 'Oh, and one more thing...' She takes out the chocolate muffin, 'I see mini hoon has been wanting this.' She smiles. She's so kind, no wonder why Jungwon took her as his girlfriend.

'Mmm,' hums Heeseung in delight, 'this is soooo yummy!'

The three manage to feed themselves, unlike your family. You're feeding Sunghoon like the baby he is right now, and Sunghoon's feeding the real baby. Jay takes a photo, knowing you'll want it in the picture book.

'Right,' burps Heeseung, 'let's go to the park, yeahhh?' He coos to Jin Ae.

'We'll be heading to the library, see you.'

'Y/n, what authors do you recommend? I've been quite busy lately, so I wanted to take reading just to let my imagination run wild.' Jay asks calmly, passing each shelf of books.

'I've got to say, authors like Haze, Rin, Aria, Reina, Nessa, Juila, Aeri, Rae have been taking my time, and it was worth it!' You advised, knowing how good these people are. They're like the rulers of literature, and they certaintly produce the highest-quality works.

'Ah, I have heard of them, and they're works are quite...interesting.' You realise what he meant, and squirmed in embarrassment.

'That's why there are restrictions, dummy!' You hit him, earning a sharp gasp and hiss.

'Ha, imagine if Sunghoon found out-'

'Let's just find a story to read, yeah!?' You whisper shouted, annoyed by his teasing. The Park brothers sure have something in common.

'AHH, JIN AE-AH!! GO, GO!!' cheers Heeseung.

While Jay and Y/n were purchasing books, Yeji and Jin Ae were playing tag, Jin Ae being the tagger. Sunghoon's taken many videos of the moment, wanting to keep this memory.

'We're back!!' Exclaims Y/n, hugging Sunghoon who had his arms out open for you to come.

'Haha, you missed out on some beautiful moments' chuckles Sunghoon, knowing you'll be devastated.

'What!? When..' You whine, but Sunghoon's such a romantic. He back hugs you, places his head on top of yours, intertwinned you fingers with his and says,

'Don't worry, darling. We'll make more beautiful moments, forever.'

A/n: AAAAAH, THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE!! THIS MARKS MY DEBUT AS A WRITER. I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE MY WORKS AND I'LL BE POSTING SOME MORE FICS VERY SOON. ILYSM 💗